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totally-incorrect-theatre-quotes · 4 years

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After the Rain (Fanfic)

The Maitlands

Lydia starts her first year of high school, and while thing start out on a positive note things quickly take a turn for the worse as rumors from the past surface at her new school leading her to have to decide if she is ready to tell the Maitlands.

Also this fic is kinda sad, but fluffy. Hella long (4,000+ words haha) so enjoy

Tw: Bullying, Use of D slur, mentions of homophobia, mentions of mental health, mental health bullying mentioned

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She didn’t want to put it off any longer. She had already told her father and Delia the truth, she wanted to tell the Maitlands but she wondered if she was making the wrong choice, I mean she hardly knew them. They’d only moved into their house a two months and maybe it would make things too awkward if Lydia told them that she was a lesbian. She didn’t doubt they’d be fine with it, but she debated if it was something they needed to know...or if now was even the right time to tell them. She agonized for weeks about telling her father, and while it just kind of slipped out when she told Delia it seemed like the natural progression of their relationship. The Maitlands were new territory, uncharted territory. Maybe she was putting too much pressure on this whole thing, maybe she should just rip off the bandage and tell them casually like she did with Delia.

There were a few times where she had the chance too. The first time they were having breakfast alone together when Delia and her dad went on a weekend trip for their jobs. Adam and Barbara were talking about how they started dating in high school, and everyone assumed that since they were high school sweethearts they were each other’s first partners but Barbara had dated three guys before Adam and Adam had dated two other people and one very very awkward date that ended with him sneaking out of the restaurant and hiding from them at school the next day. Lydia was about to ask how to ask people out and casually mention how it would be a girl but suddenly Beetlejuice came crashing down the stairs covered in blue slime and blaming Lydia’s kitten Cation for the mess.

The second time the three of them were all hanging out upstairs in the attic, Barbara was teaching Lydia to sew and had made a joke about how it’s very important to keep the needle straight. Lydia decided that perhaps that joke wasn’t the best way to announce her sexuality to her new family members.

She put it off for a long time, letting opportunity after opportunity pass by where she could have told them but she just couldn’t bring herself to. July and August passed by where any time Lydia would build up the courage something would stop her, something would prevent her from saying it. Often times it was Beetlejuice doing something stupid that took everyone’s attention but sometimes it would be a frog in her throat keeping the words from coming out. She was about to start her freshman year of high school at her new school and lots of emotions started bubbling up all at once. She missed her mom, mainly, this was the first school year where her mother wouldn’t have breakfast with her, hand her a card with words of encouragement, and walk out the door after a tight hug. She didn’t want to admit it but it stung making her own lunch that morning, she’d made her own before but it was a little tradition of theirs and it was over now. On the walk to school, she got very anxious about all the new people she was going to meet and Delia’s concern about her making friends started to feel a lot more pressing than they had a few months ago. She didn’t want to have to go through what happened in middle school all over again, she wanted this to be a clean slate and hoped that people wouldn’t have preconceived opinions about her. She obsessed over making sure her uniform looked proper and that nobody would be able to pick out flaws in her appearance. She had never cared before but now she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

With her scheduled clutched in her hands, she made her way throughout the school day with very little hiccups. She was very grateful that she wasn’t the only person struggling that day as all the freshmen were dashing around the building like madmen trying to find where their classes were. Once she thought she walked into the wrong room because the class was filled with people that looked a good deal older than her, even the teacher looked confused at her presence but after checking her paperwork Lydia was where she was supposed to be, she had apparently scored high on her science placement test and was moved to an upper-level course, instead of Earth science she was now in intro to chemistry where she was one of two freshmen in a class of mainly juniors. The other kid her age sat in the back, hardly paying attention, and though she didn’t recognize her at first it was the same girl she had seen working at the ice cream parlor. It was strange seeing her without the ridiculous ice cream hat and pale blue polo shirt, instead, they both were wearing identical black and white uniforms but Lydia could swear that on the cuff of the other girl sweater she could see a rainbow-colored pin. Though it was a flash in the pan realization Lydia’s first thought was that she maybe now had a chance. Her second thought was that she wanted to tell Adam and Barbara about this girl, but in order to do that, she would have to tell them she was gay first.

Her first week of school went by without much excitement, she found some people to sit with at lunch, she was getting along well with the kids she had been grouped with in her geometry class, but her favorite part of the day was chemistry. The ice cream shop girl who she now learned was named Wendy got her seat moved temporarily for not paying attention in class and she was now sitting right next to Lydia. Though Lydia really loved chemistry she often was more focused on glancing over at Wendy’s notebook where she would see lots of little doodles, some pertaining to the things being said in class, but some of them were just random pictures. She wasn’t exactly sure why but seeing the drawings made Lydia feel really happy, and it disappointed her when Wendy was allowed to move back to her old seat on Friday.

The weekend went by without ceremony and her entire family was shocked when Lydia talk for hours about how much she loved her new school and how excited she was to go back on Monday. Her father and Delia, of course, were relieved to know that Lydia finally started to feel like she was fitting in with her peers. The Maitlands were just happy Lydia was happy, and Beetlejuice was just annoyed that she wasn’t around the house as much anymore to wreak havoc around the house. It surely didn’t stop him from face-timing her while she was in class claiming it was an emergency such as the time when he didn’t know what a mirror was and thought it was an evil clone of it copying all his moves. Luckily she was at lunch at that point, but unsure of how her new classmates would react to the demon living at her house, between laughs she told them it was her brother being annoying.

Being Lydia Deetz she was mistrusting of how well things were going, she didn’t have good luck, she wasn’t this smooth and this confident. Though she wanted desperately to just embrace the good and enjoy the happiness she was feeling but she felt it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down and it’s easier to fall from a short height than to fall off the top of the world. As expected it all came crashing down around her. Somehow a student from here that was curious about Lydia’s past got in contact with someone she went to school with back in New York. Just like that the clean slate that she had so desperately wanted was tarnished with her reputation from her old school. It started as just typical bullying. Some kids would call her a freak, some kids would book her in the hallways, one or two would go for low blows about her mother’s death. She felt she could handle those, they were the same as middle schoolers and it was only a handful of kids. The comments stung but they didn’t break her. They started getting meaner, it started spreading around the school that she was “psychotic” and that the only reason she was acting normal now was being she was hopped up on all these psych meds. That she had lost it in New York and got expelled for attacking another student, and it was only a matter of time before it happened again. It slowly started to grow from four or five kids to ten or fifteen. Nasty notes pushed in her locker, leering stares from kids in the halls. She tried to just ignore it, trying not to care what they had to say. Her father noticed immediately that Lydia’s enthusiasm towards school drastically started to dwindle after the second week and she mentioned in passing that some of the kids in her class were being pricks.

She’d avoid certain hallways, she’d look down at the ground when passing by people she knew would target her. She tried to go low profile and hope that in a week or two it would all blow over and she could just start over and everyone would forget the fake rumors spreading around the school. She was willing to wait if it meant she could just have a shot, but every person has their breaking point and hers came when a girl that she thought she was becoming really good friends with stopped sitting with their group at lunch. When Lydia texted her that night asking if she was sick or something the girl simply replied that she didn’t want to be spending her lunches sitting with a dyke. Lydia felt her heart stop when she stared down at the words on the screen, words that she hadn’t been called in almost half a year already. It hurt just as bad as it did back then. Lydia hadn’t even told anybody at school, she didn’t do anything to indicate she was. Lydia frantically asked where the girl heard that rumor and Lydia was sent five or six screenshots of online posts making fun of her, most of them she recognized from New York but one of them was new. Each one just as cruel and offensive, slurs that she winced at even in writing. She threw her phone across the room and buried her head in her pillow letting out a muffled scream of frustration.

In tears she curled into herself just wishing that her mother were here with her, she always knew what to say about the bullies or just what to say to bring a smile to Lydia’s face. Her mother would tell her something like the kids are just targetting her because she’s different and that the problem isn’t with her being different but that it was with them not accepting it. The words from her mother would be a comfort but coming from within herself they were meaningless. She wished she could be confident like Wendy and not be afraid to wear a rainbow pin or just say to the people harassing her that she isn’t ashamed but their words cut like sharp knives and she felt very alone. Along with all of her issues at school she thought more about her mother’s absence, and Lydia remembered how she never told her mom that she was gay, and that now she would never have the chance. She was so preoccupied with being scared and feeling like she was wrong that she never told one of the people that she knew would support and love her no matter what. She felt guilt and anguish spread over her body like hot flames as the notifications still kept going off on her phone. She was in a similar situation mear months ago and though she had waited until things got so out of control she couldn’t cope she picked up her phone, went to her father’s bedroom and told him about the bullying. She presented as almost emotionless, matter-of-factly because she knew that if she got into how much it really upset her it would make everything so much worse.

After a few more days the rumors started to dwindle and she fell back into a semi-comfortable routine save for one nagging feeling that she was putting off something very important. She knew the Maitlands had been informed of her bullying at school but her dad and Delia respectfully didn’t tell the Maitlands what about as they knew Lydia hadn’t come out to them yet. She avoided answering their concerned questions, changing the subject any time the brought it up. After a day or two of walking around on eggshells, Lydia had decided that enough was enough and that she was going to tell them tonight. It was a Friday night and as usual, they were going to hole up in the attic and play a cheesy movie in the background while they did something else. This week Barbara was going to help Lydia finally finish the dress that she had started sewing all on her own, she had a dress down day coming up at school and wanted to wear it blushing when she wondered if Wendy might notice it. The three of them were all sitting on the floor working on their respective tasks when Lydia gulped, “Can I talk to you guys about something? It’s kinda important.”

Instantly they put their things down and looked at her. While their gaze was sincere and meant to communicate that she had their attention all it did was set the spark of the anxiety inferno raging in her chest. Everything she had been feeling in the past week and a half started flashing and she immediately felt overwhelmed and wanted to backtrack but knew that it was too late now. If she told them never mind they would know something was up and they’d press her for details. She swore she could run her finger through the thick tension filling the room, the longer she said nothing the worse it got. She didn’t understand what was holding her back, she wanted to do this. She knew them, and she hoped that they would be fine with it. They never gave any indication that they wouldn’t be, they seemed really chill about most things. Adam had even kissed Beetlejuice, though that was an attempt to distract him when he was about to discover Lydia was lying.

“Of course, what’s up?” Adam finally said breaking the tension

Her move now. She wrung her fingers in her hands and muttered something along the lines of that she might have a crush at school, opting for a more positive note to start the conversation. She didn’t want to unload all her baggage onto them. This was a safe route, it was big enough news that if she wanted to it could her scapegoat, she could leave it at that and save the real news for another day.

She was instantly responded to with enthusiasm, Barbara squealing like a high schooler and clapping, “Oh my goodness that’s so cute!! Is this your first crush, aww honey this is great news! I was so worried that with all the things Charles was telling us about how mean the kids at school were being that you would miss out on the good things about being this age. You have to tell me everything about him, what class did you meet in?”

“Did you two lock eyes over the last tray of french fries in the lunch line, both of you having hands on them but it was just boom instant chemistry?” Adam added, “Because if I ever sat down and ghost-wrote a romance novel that would be the meet-cute. Did you go to move your hand away but he insisted that you take them?”

Lydia laughed at his stupid puns and Barbara rolled her eyes at her husband before bothe excitedly turned back to Lydia who had momentarily forgotten the point of the conversation until Barbara asked again, “So...are you going to tell us about him?”

Taking in a deep breath Lydia tried to focus on the happy memories. The butterflies she got in her stomach when she saw Wendy in the halls, the pride flag from her father that she had sitting in a pen-holder on her desk, the five kids who still sat with her at lunch even though they too had heard about the rumors. She focused on how it was perfectly fine for her to feel this way, that there was nothing wrong with her, that Adam and Barbara would support her too. She intended to speak with more assurance but the word came out more timid than she had planned on. Quietly she corrected them, “She….that’s why I wanted to talk to you. I’m gay.”

“I am so thrilled that you felt comfortable enough to tell us this!” Barbara said without hesitation, “Okay so tell us all about this girl that you’ve got a crush on. Is she cute? Do you two talk or are you still in that awkward ‘pining from a distance’ phase?”

“Pining from a distance phase, I don’t even know if she knows I exist but she’s so funny. She does these doodles in her notebook during chemistry-”

“Ohhh so you’ve got chemistry with her huh?” Adam nudged her with his elbow earning a groan from the two women

“Adam that was awful! She doesn’t need to deal with your corny puns right now, this is serious”

“Oh I completely understand when I came out to my parents it really took them bi surprise especially considering that I was married to a woman when I told them.”

“You’re bi?” Lydia asked excited at the prospect of having somebody else in the community that she could get advice from if she even had questions. She knew Beetlejuice was pansexual but going to him for advice on dating would be like using gasoline to out a fire, he would probably tell her in order to win over Wendy she’d have to do some gross and or elaborate thing

“Don’t you remember me telling you about that one guy I dated in high school a month or two before I started dating Barbara...Alex I have honor history with him but we broke up after we couldn’t agree who contributed more to the industrial revolution.”

“In my defense, you didn’t use any pronouns….and Alex is a unisex name!”

“Fair enough fair enough.”

“Can I just say that this is such a relief to me that this went well. I had been stressing out over this whole thing since about July.”

The two of them stopped laughing and grew quiet and serious. For a second neither of them spoke until Barbara asked her, “Were you afraid to tell us?”

“No, no, no. It’s..it’s not like that. I was just nervous to tell you guys, not because I thought you’d be homophobic, I didn’t think that for a second, I knew you’d be fine with it, thrilled even, well maybe not thrilled it’s not good or bad news it’s just ya know a fact about me but.” Lydia huffed frustrated that she couldn’t get the words to come out right, “I don’t know it came so easy when I told Delia but telling you guys felt like when I told my dad. I didn’t want to make a joke about it, I wanted it to be a serious conversation even though I hate those, they stress me out and I put so much pressure on this and then I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom and just….how badly I wish I had been able to tell her about this all. You guys are wonderful but she’d know exactly what to say about all of this, about Wendy about the kids at school that were bullying me about in first in New York and now here.”

“That’s what those assholes were bullying you for!” Adam shouted, “That’s terrible, I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of that, I couldn’t imagine having all of that on your plate at once.”

“It’s really hard sometimes, I feel like I have nobody to turn to even though I live in a house with the most freaking supportive and loving people I have ever met. How many people can say they have five parents?” Lydia chuckled, “But when I’m at school or in my room and they call me all these terrible names it breaks down all the work I’ve done to realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of, I wish I didn’t care if other people found out, I feel like such a coward when I go back to pretending and hiding it all. I want to be like-” she stopped herself from mentioning Wendy not wanting to seem too infatuated with her, “I just want to be confident.”

Adam scooted over towards her and gave her a hug, “It’s not easy, it took me a long time to be okay with it let alone confident. I remember how scared I was when I told Barbara about it thinking she would just want to break up with me because she would assume I was just gay and using her as a cover story or worse that she’d just assume that because I’m bi I’d cheat on her. It was one of the scariest things I ever had to do but when I did it she just smiled and said that she knew the minute that I moved seats in history class after being ‘best friends’ with Alex for like three months. The thing is Lydia that it gets easier, and one day you won’t feel the need to explain yourself or the emotions you feel when coming out. They are all valid, and I know it’s confusing but we’re here for you. We all are.”

Lydia’s heart swelled in her chest with the outpouring of support and acceptance she was receiving that evening. Her father and Delia were wonderful and their support meant just as much to her as theirs but with Adam, she had someone who experienced the things she was experiencing. He was walking proof that things would be okay, that for every hateful person there were a plethora of people having her back and reassuring her that everything would be okay in the end.

“And I know you wish your mom was here, I wish she was here too and that we could all go through this together.”

“I wish I had told her.” Lydia admitted, “I was too scared and there was so much going on in life that I never told her about it. She wouldn’t have cared, she would have reacted like everyone else so far but it feels empty without me knowing it for a fact. It just reminds me that there’s so much she’s never going to get to know about me and something that I could have told her before the end...I didn’t because I was too afraid. It makes me feel terrible.”

Barbara rubbed Lydia’s back sympathetically, “You were a kid, you still are a kid. Accepting yourself for who you are no matter what it is is a hard and time-consuming process, I know you feel like you lied to her but I promise you didn’t, you just weren’t ready to tell her that. I’m positive she understands.”

Lydia wiped at her eyes trying to clear away the tears threatening to spill over with all the talk about her mom. She knew deep down they were right and that her mom wouldn’t be mad at her for keeping it a secret but part of her still desperately wanted to right the wrong and find some way, somehow to tell her but she knew there wasn’t. It was too late, and this would just be another thing that Emily didn’t get to know about her daughter, “I miss her so much. Going back to school was so hard without her and even when things were going well I was still upset about it, then it all fell apart so fast. I feel like I can never have a minute to catch my breath.”

“Then let’s do it now.” Barbara suggested, “Come on. Let’s all take in a deep breath.”

“No, that’s not what I meant..it was metaphorical-”

“It might feel pointless but when you feel like you’re running in circles and you can’t breathe sometimes the best thing you can do is stop for a minute and just focus on your breathing. There’s so much in the world you can’t control but you can control this.”

“I see you paid attention during our yoga class,” Adam remarked

“Better than you did, your snoring disrupted everyone. We may have only gone to one class but I remember vaguely what he said so come on Lydia. Breath in through your nose.”

She rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose

“Hold it for a few seconds and then exhale through your mouth slowly,” Barbara explained as she went along with the exercise with her.

With her exhale Lydia felt the tension in her chest lessen just a little and her mind felt a little clearer. She didn’t want to admit it, and it wasn’t perfect but it did make her feel better. It calmed her down. She spent a little more time in the attic talking about less heavy things, them eventually getting out of her more details about Wendy or any other girls she thought were cute. She felt lighter, laughter filling her instead of the urge to cry. She glanced over at the clock after a while and realized that it was almost midnight, and even though she didn’t have school the next day she was supposed to babysit Skye. She wished them goodnight and right when she was about to open the attic door Adam got a mischevious smile on his face and called out, “Lydia, what did you tell us you were again?”

“I’m gay?” Lydia asked confused as they just had a literal hours-long conversation about this

“Hi gay, I’m Adam.”

She groaned at his dad pun and Barbara smacked him playfull on top the head with a rolled-up newspaper while he howled with laughter. Lydia turned back around to head out the door and was partly down the hallway when she felt a hand on her shoulder, it didn’t shock her as there were tons of people in the house and BJ was always sneaking up on her so she was always on guard.

Barbara walked around and stood in front of her and smiled, pulling Lydia into a warm hug, “I’m really proud of you for having the courage to tell us. I know you miss your mom, and I know I’m not Emily. I don’t want to be Emily, I would never try to replace her in your life, but I just want you to know that you never have to be afraid to come to us for anything. I am always here to help you with whatever a mother would.”

#lydia deetz #delia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #charles deetz #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #beetlejuice #incorrect beetlejuice quotes #beetlejuice the musical #beetlegeuse

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hamliet · 4 years

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The World is Cruel, Beautiful, and Chiastic

Or, because I see people talking about this and I wrote this during Tokyo Ghoul:re’s final arc (which ended up being accurate), I wanted to be a nerd and outline just what Shingeki no Kyojin’s chiastic structure is.

A chiastic structure is a narrative structure used for millennia in storytelling. It refers to a paralleling structure, wherein events or motifs parallel other events and motifs. If you chart it out, it forms a chiasm or a ring (depending on if you feel like charting a triangle or a circle. (It’s also referred to as ring structure if you go with the latter; hence “come full circle.”)

Chiastic structure has been used for ancient epics (the Iliad and Odyssey, Paradise Lost), religious texts (many narrative books of the Bible, including Ruth, Jonah, Samuel, Genesis, and the Synoptic Gospels use it), and modern classics in both literature and cinema like Harry Potter and Star Wars employ it. In anime/manga, Tokyo Ghoul used it, and Bungou Stray Dogs strongly appears to be using it (but it’s harder to say definitively or to chart it out because we seem to be in upwards end of the middle arc right about now).

So, what’s SnK’s chiastic structure?

A) Fall of Shiganshina: The World is Cruel (and beautiful)

B) Training Corps (yes, it belongs here): Cruelty to Children

A) Trost: Cruel Loss, Beautiful Hope

C) Female Titan: Cruel End to Friendship

ABC) Clash of the Titans: The World is Cruel and Beautiful

C) Uprising Arc: Beautiful Beginning to Friendship

A) Return to Shiganshina: Cruel Loss, Beautiful Hope

B) Marlay: Cruelty to Children

A) Final Arc: The World is Beautiful (and cruel)

Of note, this is not me saying that none of the other arcs parallel each other--they clearly do. This is just a look at the chiastic structure in particular.

A note about the AB pattern. Arcs that have A all have common elements even if they most directly parallel the arc they line up with. The central chiasm contains elements of all three.

Fall of Shiganshina Arc: The World is Cruel (and also beautiful)

I’m not sure I need to say much here lol. The story’s opening chapters are renowned for their horror and display of cruelty. Yet we see beauty too in the Jaeger family having taken in Mikasa, in Eren defending Armin from bullies.

And we see it in how Hannes saves Eren and Mikasa.

And there’s more cruelty in the vow Eren makes, which, of course, he’s now bringing to fruition:

The Training Corps Arc: Cruelty to Children

Yes, this one belongs here. I know that it technically occurs post-Trost in the manga, but it’s the only flashback arc in the entire story, and I think we’d all agree that pacing-wise it’s... not well placed post-Trost. The anime did a good by moving it to immediately follow the intro arc.

Basically, the main theme here is that innocent kids lose innocence. From the humorous to the cruel, we see it. The kids shouldn’t be joining the military; it’s awful that they are.

It introduces Sasha:

And makes sure to show us them just being kids:

Additionally, it shows us the determination Eren has to work hard and be the one to destroy the titans:

Eren’s determination leads to his success in his training, but as we’ll later see, his obsession is destroying him.

Trost Arc: Cruel Loss, Beautiful Hope

Or, the arc that contains one of my favorite moments, but also almost led to me stopping watching SnK when I first got into it.

The arc begins with our first rematch: humanity vs. the titans, round two. (Thus, it parallels the Fall of Shiganshina).

So let’s discuss that favorite moment of mine: when the 104th teams up to defeat the titans. Even Annie, who is later revealed to be an enemy, saves Connie.

Trost, of course, contains the first big “WTF” plot twist of the story: when Eren is “reborn” out of the belly of a titan. When a character is in an enclosed space in literature, especially one with liquid, viscera, and blood, it’s probably a symbolic rebirthing scene. From, at that point, Eren’s lowest moment of defeat, Eren realizes he has the powers to change things.

But Eren is not the only one who comes to an important realization this arc. Like the Fall of Shiganshina, Return to Shiganshina, and the final arc, there is EMA focus. Mikasa makes a decision to live on despite loss:

And Armin receives affirmation of his self-worth and realizes that even if fighting isn’t his skill, strategizing is just as valuable:

This arc also contains Marco’s death, marking the first time the 104th have to cope with the loss of one of their own.

The arc’s final fight is concluded with Levi Heichou shows up to save the day.

And, of course, the concept of blocking the hole in the wall is first brought up (this time with a boulder), and the military needs to make a choice about whether to use Eren or exterminate him; Armin is able to convince them to trust Eren.

The Female Titan Arc: A Cruel End to a Friendship

The arc contains a notable moment of Eren deciding to trust his colleagues--Levi’s squad--only to lose them all.

Additionally, Eren’s relationship with Annie ends poorly (obviously. Should Annie be in the paths right now, as she likely is, I don’t think she’ll respond well to Eren either and is more likely to help take him down). Like Eren taught Mikasa to fight and to live, Annie taught Eren how to fight as her father taught her.

What’s notable about this is that Annie’s relationship with her father is cruel and beautiful--he clearly wanted nothing more than for Annie to survive and he’s still waiting for her. Annie embodies this dichotomy as well: Armin notes that she is exceptionally kind, yet the world doesn’t give her a choice. She is so kind that she spares Armin and goes along with his plan to capture her despite knowing it is a trap, because she does not want to hurt friends, because she wants to be a good person. Annie wears a cold mask, but she is truly kind.

The Female Titan Arc concludes when Eren accepts the monstrous part of himself, using everything he has to fight Annie. It’s not a coincidence that the arc ends with Annie ripping off part of the wall, revealing the titans within. This symbolizes that the structures that ostensibly were erected to protect society are built around the monstrous, and thus sets up the Uprising Arc.

Clash of the Titans Arc: The World is Cruel and Also Beautiful

My favorite arc.

It contains several important elements: it’s where Ymir hints at the true enemy of the story, and it’s where we start to see that the Survey Corps might be capable of cruelty as well.

Erwin sacrifices his arm, foreshadowing his later sacrifice of his life, Ymir and Historia assure each other of their love (almost like love, connection, and humanity are braided themes)...

It’s also where Eren is revealed as the Coordinate, and where the central relationship of the story as @linkspooky writes (and theorizes) about here develops in a moment that is truly beautiful and cruel. Mikasa declares her love for Eren, but Eren pulls away because he needs to fight titans to keep living.

It also foreshadows and acts as an inverse to Eren’s tragic current choice: he chose to fight instead of to accept love, but he had little choice then and was acting heroically. He had choices now.

Additionally of note, since this arc is the central chiasm of the story, it contains elements from both the A and B parallels. Such as, for example, Sasha receiving development and the focus on the suffering of children, from Sasha saving Kaya (beauty) to Nanaba and the others dying to protect the 104th:

Also, the Hannes storyline reaches its conclusion with Hannes’ death, proving for once and for all that Hannes is no coward:

The death of Hannes is symbolic of the EMA trio moving from a child stage to an adolescent stage in their metaphorical development. It parallels Carla’s death, and Levi’s (the final mentor figure for EMA) current near-death experience (I don’t think Levi needs to die nor do I think he will at this point, because he seems to have survived the parallel incident).

The Uprising Arc: A Beautiful Beginning to a Friendship

There are quite a few parallels here with the Female Titan Arc. We have two parallels with Annie’s complex relationship with her father: Historia and Levi (with Kenny for Levi). Like with Annie’s father, Kenny is not a great father figure, but he did want Levi to survive and gives him a life-saving tool right before he dies (the titan serum). Historia has the direct opposite relationship with her father as Annie: Annie’s father loves her but treats her harshly to teach her to protect herself; Historia’s father appears to treat her kindly, claiming he’s always wanted a relationship with her, but he actually does not care about her at all.

Historia and Eren’s relationship also foils Annie and Eren’s: if Annie and Eren’s relationship leads to Eren accepting the monstrous/titan part of himself, Historia and Eren’s relationship leads to Eren accepting the weak, unspecial part of himself.

Additionally, this arc focuses on the new Squad Levi, replacing Petra, Oruo, and the others--and this time, Squad Levi really does come in clutch, saving Eren and Historia. These scenes are deliberately paralleled--as in, there is a literal flashback in the Uprising Arc to Eren having to make a decision re: Squad Levi. When Eren acts on his own instincts this time, he saves them.

Return to Shiganshina: Cruel Loss, Beautiful Hope

Like the Trost Arc, it contains a rematch between humanity and their enemies; this time, however, it is not mindless titans who are the real enemies, but Bertolt and Reiner (and Zeke), demonstrating how personal this fight has been (going from a journey of strange monsters-->friends-->your own internal heart in the current arc). It also, on a more basic level, contains the goal of plugging up a hole in the wall, this time with Eren’s hardened shell.

It also contains the 104th teaming up to take down an enemy. Only, this time, instead of Annie and Mikasa dealing the killing blows to titans about to kill Sasha and Connie, they are teaming up to kill Reiner, a former friend.

Like in Trost, when Eren was “reborn” out of the belly of a titan, Eren experiences a moment of awakening here. He realizes he is not the hero of this story: Armin is.

And likewise, Mikasa makes a decision to accept loss and live on.

And Armin receives affirmation of his self-worth and his strategizing doesn’t just save Eren this time, but potentially humanity:

This arc also contains the flashback to Marco’s death and, of course, Bertolt’s death, which heavily, heavily parallels Marco’s. Like with Marco, Bertolt’s once-friends are watching and weeping, but they choose not to help him for the sake of their mission (again: you become the monster; this is however NOT a commentary on the morality of such decisions, but instead is an observation. Bertolt’s death, even if you choose not to blame the Survey Corps, is horrific and agonizing and cruel).

And of course, guess who saves the day and determines the future of the story? Levi Heichou. However, again, in keeping with the motif of conflicts getting more personal, Levi does not have to kill a monster titan (in fact, he fails to kill Zeke, though he does take him down). Instead, he has to choose to let his best friend die. Like in Trost, where the military needed to make a choice about whether to listen to Eren, Levi chooses to save Armin (though not because of Eren’s please necessarily, but because of his own care for Erwin).

The battle of Shiganshina, like how the Battle of Trost ends with Eren emerging as humanity’s hope, ends with a revelation to change the story forever. Humanity is not extinct.

The Marlay Arc:: Cruelty to Children 2.0

Innocent kids lose innocent in both the past and present in this arc. The arc sets up copious Reiner and Eren parallels, showing how they both worked hard in training to become heroes.

Additionally, we see that being perpetuated to the next generation in Gabi and Falco, Zophia and Udo. They are just children, but they are killed horrifically and fight in wars as part of their training (it’s even worse than the Paradis military):

Like all other B parallel arcs, it also contains focus for Sasha. She chooses not to kill a child, providing a beautiful counter from the cruelty of Eren’s actions. Yet, she pays the price for this beauty, as she is cruelly murdered. Sasha may not be a child herself anymore, but she is still a person, and the focus on food for her in the moment of her death reinforces this.

We also see that our grown-up children are losing innocence as well. Eren becomes the monster he swore to destroy, becoming a titan to murder innocents.

Final Arc: The World is Beautiful (and cruel)

I know the emphasis right now is on cruelty and I don’t mean to minimize it. From Historia to how Eren treats his friends, to what Eren’s currently now doing, it’s painful.

It contains a return to Shiganshina, like the Fall of and Return to Shiganshina arcs. And like the first arc, it irrevocably changes the world. On this day, humanity has received not a grim reminder, not a choice.

Instead of Mikasa and Armin receiving help from an adult to save Eren (Hannes), they are the adults this time. It is up to them to save Eren from himself, which likely is not going to be kind enough to spare Eren’s life this time. That said, I do think/expect a moment of Eren remembering his humanity in the end. And we already know it ends with life and freedom.

#snk meta #chiastic structure #aot meta #shingeki no kyojin meta #attack on titan meta #snk 123 #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #ema #levi ackerman #yumihisu #historia reiss #annie leonhart #sasha blouse #reiner braun #marco bodt #bertolt hoover

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in-tua-deep · 5 years

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Do both Fives get put in school in your double trouble AU? Do they get to have a chance at a (semi) normal childhood? How do the siblings handle having to actually parent one young kid and an actually an old man kid? And does young!Five bring out the childish side of old!Five? I just love this entire concept and young!Five having to fit in with the absolute disaster that his family has turned into. He loves them anyway.

“You know, we could go to school.”

Five flips a page in his book and ignored his ‘twin’ aggressively. But he could feel the heat of the stare from across the room and it was interfering with his concentration. So he glances up to meet gazes with a face identical to his own. “We aren’t going to school.”

“Why not?” Baby Five asks. Five shoots him a look but baby Five ignores him with ease, face earnest in a way they both know is false.

“I am fifty-eight years old.” Five informs his idiot double, as though anyone could ever forget what with Five bringing up his age every other minute. “I’m not going back to school.”

“Did you really keep track in the apocalypse?” Baby Five asks, raising his eyebrows at the other. His face is full of implied doubt, and Five would be offended if it wasn’t founded. When Five doesn’t respond, Baby Five crows triumphantly, “Ha! I knew you didn’t really know how old you are.”

“The Commission estimated!” Five protested, “I’m sure they were accurate!”

“Oh? Just like how accurate they were about the apocalypse definitely happening?”

There’s really no good response to that so Five just shoves his book off his lap and crosses his arms childishly. Not that he’s a child. They already established this.

Mercifully, Baby Five drops that line of inquiry to focus on the other equally terrible one. Perhaps not merciful after all. “What’s so bad about going to school, anyway?”

There’s a pause between them, before Five bristles, “It’s - it’s full of children that’s what!”

“You don’t even know what school is like!” Baby Five protests loudly, “You never even went! It could be fun!”

“If media has taught me anything it’s that school is in no way fun.” Five points out, standing his ground on the topic. Admittedly his knowledge of schools is limited - he only tried to scavenge around a couple during the apocalypse. Too many children’s corpses for his comfort, but a decent source of pens and paper and similar supplies.

“Claire said it’s fun.” Baby Five holds his position.

“Claire is six and the only things she’s really learning are how to read and write and make glitter monstrosities to hang upon the refrigerator.”

“How do you know it wouldn’t be us making cool things to hang on the fridge?” Baby Five challenged, suddenly frowning. “Plus I mean - I dunno. I love Mom but I feel like she should be able to do her own thing, you know? Instead of teaching us?”

Five would like to protest that he doesn’t need the lessons since he’s an adult, but Grace has been a life saver when it comes to bringing both of her boys up to date on the present day and also gently giving them books and worksheets about things they never got to in lessons since they left at thirteen.

“You want to be stuck learning about basic algebra and geometry?” Five asks instead, because it’s easier focusing on how school inconveniences them instead of how they are inconveniencing others. But his voice is just a tiny bit more uncertain that it was before.

Baby Five sighs deeply, “I mean. I guess not. But I’m bored of staying in the house all day and seeing the same people and just. Ugh. It’s been the same thing my whole life! Can’t we just like, pick and choose what classes to take? Maybe we could do maths with the higher up students.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re at like, the excessively knowledgeable ‘probably has a doctorate in mathematics’ level of maths.” Five says doubtfully, because it’s true. Five has been teaching his counterpart the equations and tricks he’s learned after forty-five years of doing nothing but think about equations and time travel in his spare time, but it’s not like it doesn’t come naturally to them. Five had always been light years ahead of his siblings when it came to the subject, and it was often a point of frustration when the others didn’t get something.

To Five, complex equations and algorithms were as second nature as walking. Sure they’d had to learn the basic at some point, but once they got the hang of it, it was easy. Time travel equations were more akin to figuring out how to walk on water instead of just walking. In this needlessly complex metaphor, that is.

Baby Five slams his hands on the desk, making Five jump (though he’d deny it if pointed out), “That’s it! We could go to college! They let you pick classes and stuff there, right? So we could just test into the highest math class possible? Or not take one at all!”

“We’re thirteen.” Five counters, but his tone is a little more thoughtful. “We’d have to take tests and stuff to say we’re ready to graduate high school. Which we are. Actually I’m pretty sure Reginald had us at college level when we were nine.”

“He always did have high expectations. But seriously! Just think about it! We’d get out of the house. We’d learn cool things. Luther ‘n Allison would stop fretting about what we’re gonna do with our lives. A whole new population to play tricks on.” Baby Five grins with mischief, and it makes Five crack a small smile back.

But there’s one problem.

“Ugh, we’re going to have to legalize our existence if we want to do official things like that. And then they’re not just going to let us do our own thing, what if they try and take us away?” Five has never had a desire to go into the foster system, thank you very much.

“No one ever said we had to do things the legal way.” Baby Five sniffs, as though offended at the very thought of going through proper channels. Which, well. Yeah that sounded like the Hargreeves way. “I bet we could like, just pretend we’re the original Five’s kids or something. We would’ve been what, sixteen? There have been younger parents.”

“Pretend to be our own children? That’s your solution?” Five asks, eyebrows climbing up his face in incredulity. “And then what? Make it so we died and? Left our little orphan selves to family?”

“It’s plausible!” Baby Five protests.

“Yeah, and it would still wind up with us having one of our darling siblings as a legal guardian.” Five said firmly, which was his whole issue with this to begin with. “Which one of the boneheads downstairs do you want to have legal control of our lives?”

“Mom could do it?”

“If you think Mom legally exists in the eyes of the law you’re even more naive than I thought.” Five sniffs, “She’s even worse off than we are.”

“Well okay miss negative Nancy,” Baby Five huffs, “You figure something out then.”

“Negative Nancy? Have you been hanging out around Klaus too often?” Five looks offended at the very possibility of their brother being an influence on his alternate self. Baby Five sticks out his tongue instead of answering.

There’s a pregnant pause between them before Five sighs, “Ugh. I’ll ask Mom about it tomorrow if it means so much to you. But I still absolutely refuse to attend a public high school with a bunch of snot nosed children.”

“We’re snot nosed children if you haven’t noticed.” Baby Five gestures between them with a roll of his eyes. This time it’s Five who sticks his tongue out childishly in response, even though as an adult he should really be above such things.

“Maybe we can take a history course and you can correct the professor.” Baby Five offers, a vague sort of olive branch.

“Bet you we could make at least one physics professor faint by jumping into class.” Five shoots right back, taking said olive branch with as much grace as he can allow.

“Dibs on the time travel stuff for a thesis.” Baby Five grins.

“Absolutely not.” Five shoots down instantly, “When you spend forty years working on inter-dimensional maths, then and only then can you claim my work you little thief.”

And that ends the discussion on that.

BUT YEAH essentially I don’t think any iteration of Five would ever really go to high school with other kids like that because honestly?? even as an actual thirteen year old Five is lightyears ahead on some subjects and he has issues. Can you imagine Five dealing with bullies and gossip and shit teachers??

Five would have one (1) person pick on him and break someone’s arm because he was taught violence is the first answer to everything. He’s genuinely kind of too dangerous to be around other kids his age. He’s also not one to suffer fools lightly, and so the first time a teacher taught something wrong (which they would because history class is full of historical revision and Five was probably there for half of it) he would butt heads with someone. I knew teachers who didn’t like to be corrected and I knew teachers who would be thrilled their student actually knows a subject, it just depends.

I mean Five is thirteen and that’s what? Eighth grade? That isn’t even high school yet. I was learning geometry. I was reading the outsiders. Learning all the prepositions in english class. Making bridges out of popsicle sticks in physical science and watching that one miracle of life video again. We had to run the mile every Wednesday and it was the worst.

You think putting Five in a PE class anywhere near other children and dodgeballs is in any universe a good idea?? He would obliterate them. He would make at least one person cry and probably send another to the nurses office and then, when he got in trouble, wouldn’t understand what he did wrong. Because Diego threw knives at him and probably hit him at least once, a foam ball should be nothing and that kid is making a fuss for no reason. Doing sprints until he pukes - you mean an average Thursday in the Reginald Regime?

at least in college Five would be able to tailor his schedule and take whatever level course he needs. He could be in very high level math courses and be in beginner’s astronomy or intro to archaeology or linguistics 101 or whatever the hell he wants to learn tbh (probably anthropology or contemporary history courses if he wants to catch up to modern day??)

as for the parenting bit, both Five’s aren’t exactly what you would call receptive to being parented by anyone thank you very much and will aggressively tell you to fuck off if you tried

BUT both Five’s also wouldn’t know what the fuck a parent looked like if it hit them in the face with a baseball bat because when they think ‘parent’ they think ‘good old Reggie here to traumatize everyone again’ so their idea of being parented is?? being told to train, being told what to do/being given a schedule to follow with specific hours carved out for everything, private training, being told their flaws in excruciating detail, etc. so like,, if the bigger Hargreeves are careful and subtle about it and frame it in a sibling way then they can sometimes get away with it

after all if Diego drives Klaus everywhere, then it’s not bad if Diego offers to drive the Fives somewhere, even if they can do it themselves. If Allison fusses and puts more food on everyone’s plates then it’s not a thing and doesn’t need to be pointed out. If everyone has to check in with hourly texts to the group chat when they’re out after dark, then it just makes sense that the Fives do as well since knowing where everyone is can only be a boon after all the shit they went through in the apocalypse

honestly the parenting going on is basically just setting up healthy boundaries (making sure the Fives knock before just fuckin jumping into someone’s room or bathroom) and gently coaxing them into going out and doing things which they can frame as family outings/taking Grace out to see the world, and also gently nudging both Fives in the direction of healthier coping mechanisms/getting them to go to therapy, that sort of thing

Vanya is a firm believer in both therapy and setting an example so she probably gently encourages the whole family to find someone to talk to and holding up setting an example to the Fives as an excuse to get her whole family into much needed therapy is very helpful

and young Five ABSOLUTELY brings out the childish side in old Five, mainly because old five actually genuinely has No Fucking Idea how adults function and while he physically grew up, his social growth was very stunted by the,, how do i put this,,, lack of Anyone Existing Around Him For Forty Years so he has like?? vague ideas of how grown up people function but not a whole lot

like his primary example of Being An Adult are a) Reginald, an eccentric billionaire who didn’t work outside of abusing children like that was his job and b) the Handler who has no concept of personal space and frequently insinuates she’s going to kill him

and THEN,, when he actually achieves his goal and gets back to his family he gets a wonderful assortment of:

Luther, who lived on the moon for four years with no social interaction. Has never owned property or held down a job. Has he ever done taxes? Has he voted in an election? Does he even have a license?

Diego, who lives in a boiler room at the back of a gym and fights crime as a vigilante in his spare time after flunking out of the police academy. Has anger issues and an obsession with knives.

Allison, the movie star whose personal life is a fucking WRECK and is going through a brutal child custody case after she mind controlled her child on multiple occasions.

Klaus, who in general is just a wreck of a human being who has no occupation that I know of and is frequently in and out of rehab. Also homeless and overdoses on a seemingly regular basis if the nonchalant-ness with the paramedic says anything on that.

Ben, who is dead and invisible to them but who likely died before reaching adulthood anyway so.

Vanya, who has managed to hold down a job and home but has no social life to speak of and taste in men bad enough to literally end the world if given the chance. Seething with anger and resentment that has been bottled down and doesn’t know how to deal with her own emotions (though that was mostly Reggie’s fault tbh)

but as you can see there is not one single human adult in the Fives lives that is even in the ballpark of healthy normal adult role model.

I got away from myself but my point is that Five doesn’t know how adults act and baby Five is capable of prodding Five into joining his shenanigans partially because of this fact and partially because Five just genuinely wants to have fun sometimes

and if, occasionally, the duo pretend to be one another so that Five has an excuse for acting as childish as his genuinely teen counterpart then, well,,, who can tell them apart anyway? and it’s in the name of the game and confusing their siblings so there

I have plenty of feelings about the double trouble au goodness gracious

#double trouble au #far tua long #the umbrella academy #tua #this is the au where thirteen year old five shows up a few days after they stop the apocalypse and everyone has to deal with that #five hargreeves #number five #i'll add more tags tomorrow i'm tired and it's midnight

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gotatext · 4 years

Text

hello, it’s swamp witch nora again…. i couldn’t stay away.... hitting u with a tiny baby boy who is also terrible (sometimes). musical softboi who loves karl marx and hates children dying in cobalt mines to make smart phones. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board, have a peruse. fyi sorry for those of u who have read this intro a thousand times i literally.... can never b bothred to change it n i think thats really sexy of me x

CHARLIE PLUMMER / DEMI-BOY — don’t look now, but is that rory bergström i see? the 23 year old music student is in their junior year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be whimsical, impassioned, self-indulgent and nitpicky, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he / they will make a name for themselves living in griffin street. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her. )

aesthetics.

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards.

tw ocd, anxiety, drugs

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the perfect kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having nice parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fit in and he didn’t want to fit in. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his safe space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. rory don’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they dont feel like anything at all!! slippin out of his physical form into the spirit realm! isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but currently feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden even tho it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it!!!!

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspicious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

occasionally deals weed n pills when strapped for cash, but only 2 ppl he knows, and on a very small scale grass-roots level!! (so its ok???) rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car. we love to see it

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones, floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes: weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights.

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory… has never hooked up with anyone… i feel like a deer in the headlights of love……. so give me

study buddies,

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it,

people who love all kinds of music,

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for,

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth),

unrequited crushes!!

actually i think rory had sex w delilah in the last version of this rp so if u want a hook up plot its possible just unlikely. they’d hav 2 be the driving force i reckon cos rory doesn’t really act on impulses like desire or anythin.... jst bottles that shit up !!! but yea we could do a spicy hook up plot maybs, depending on the person

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

#tw drugs #tw ocd #tw anxiety #HUNTINGTONINTRO

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what-even-is-thiss · 5 years

Text

I kinda want to stick the boys in an urban fantasy setting like the one I’ve been developing for a few years.

Virgil wasn’t born with magic but made friends with a witch and is now a warlock that specializes in rune magic. He knows how to perform blood magic too but only uses it for larger spells. In this universe real, effective witchcraft done through rituals can only be performed by people with a shattered soul. It’s a sort of consolation prize the universe gives them for having to live with the emotional pain that comes with that. Virgil’s soul was broken in increments throughout his childhood through extreme bullying that he never reported to his parents. Like with many other witches and warlocks learning ritual magic and finding a community saved his life. He can see the state of other people’s souls and read what kind of inherent magic they have at a glance.

He’s a student getting a doctorate in the hopes of becoming a research professor at a prominent university. He’s that graduate student that’s also teaching an into to chemistry class to mostly freshmen and walks in to every class one minute late and with a bunch of disorganized papers in hand. A lot of people are surprised he’s trying to become a professor, especially when they see the weird runes tattooed on his arm. “what do they mean?” they always ask. “Some old poem thing.” he always replies, leaving it at that.

His introduction to the underground community was slow because registering witches and warlocks is complicated. Technically they’re not supposed to exist but the government learned long ago they’re not going anywhere so they just have to accept them in if they manage to master their craft.

Logan is an A-class weapons master. A-class is the highest level of natural power one can posses and a weapons master is someone that can summon weapons and learn to master them far faster than any other human would be able to. They also have the ability to enchant or curse weapons. Logan would randomly accidentally curse knives by accident when he was a little kid and the government was monitoring him from a young age because something was detected when he was a baby. When his “little problem” as his mother called it showed up they had people knocking on their door basically the next day.

He’s been taught how to fight and be a killing machine since he was a little kid for two reasons. 1. All magical persons are guaranteed through international law an opportunity to receive mentoring and instruction in their abilities and how to control them and Logan’s abilities are basically only useful if you’re fighting or cursing your uncle’s hunting rifle. 2. Magical persons are actually usually in danger of being attacked or turned into the authorities because most people in the world don’t know magic exists or understand it and A-class persons are especially vulnerable because they don’t always have control over their abilities so able bodied A-class magic users are strongly encouraged to learn how to fight and defend themselves. Logan’s parents took this advice and basically let his mentor shape him into a fighting machine.

He doesn’t like it but he was coerced into joining the marines as a teenager and he didn’t see until he was in the thick of things how much he actually hates the cards that he was dealt in life. It was at about his fifth confirmed kill on a special mission with two other weapons masters that he realized he didn’t want to be there. He tends to not answer questions about all the scars he has. If he does he just claims to be accident prone.

His day job now is working as an editor for a prominent literary magazine. Unfortunately for him he’s still really infamous and his uncle’s hunting rifle still teleports to another room whenever a person with A- blood touches it. His ex-boyfriend broke up with him because he one time conjured a dagger in his sleep and injured both of them in the process. Because of how infamous he is in certain parts of the magical community there’s always someone that wants to blackmail him into helping them somehow. Logan usually ends up snuffing the problem out relatively quickly though. He’s made it very clear that he wants to continue spending his days sorting through poetry submissions and he’s willing to get a little more blood on his hands to make sure that it stays that way. His current interaction with the underground doesn’t go much further than the occasional veterans support group meeting and maybe a visit to the magical clinic to have his energy levels checked.

Patton is a C-level spell caster. Different from a witch or warlock, often called a wizard or sorcerer instead. C-class is the lowest level of magic where inherent abilities are able to be used reliably (rather than just in moments of extreme panic like with most humans) and spell casters are persons with undifferentiated magic that can be directed with helpful objects. Wands, jewelry, magical knives, whatever. Hands only magic is also taught but is less exact unless you put a lot of effort into your training. Patton did not put a lot of effort into his training.

Basically think of spell casters as jack of all trades master of none type of magic. They can do anything, just not super powerfully. They can summon fire, sure, but someone with fire specific magic would be able to easily burn down an entire building while they can maybe light a candle. The most powerful of them might be able to do a flamethrower for a few seconds.

Patton uses his magic for fun, mostly. He works at the magical community center and teaches an intro to history of magic class and a basic magical law course for adults that discover their powers late and parents of magical children. If anyone without an “in pass” (permission to access the underground and granted immunity from memory wipes) asks what his day job is, he teaches adult school. He speaks Spanish and ASL as well as English and just generally shows a lot of love and patience to people being thrown into this world. He’s a supporter of the movement to integrate magic into everyday life and expose it to the world but knows that’s probably not going to happen in his lifetime.

Sometimes his classes will get bored and he’ll ask if they want to see something he’s been practicing and then he’ll try a new spell he’s been practicing with his expensive looking watch that he uses as his casting device and sometimes he causes a power outage. Only sometimes though, as he will quickly remind his boss.

Roman is a B-class charmer. That is, a person with moderately powerful charm magic. He can influence people easily and make them ignore some of the bad things about him and focus on the parts that they like instead. As a rule charmers aren’t usually introduced to the underground or made aware of their status as a magical person unless a friend or family member fills out the paperwork to let them in on their secret or someone int heir immediate family turns out to be magical. The reason is that charming is by far the most common magical ability (they almost outnumber the entire magical population on their own) and can only learn to control their powers to a certain degree. And of course of a B or A-class charmer learns how to control their abilities more the potential of them becoming more dangerous skyrockets. Charmers that powerful are quite rare, but they can’t make an exception for them.

Roman found out that he has this charming ability because as it turns out, his adopted daughter has the ability to control plants. When the scary people with clipboards and neckties and weird looking guns on their hips came to his door to explain to him and his husband that magic is real they also brought up Roman’s own magic. When they explained how it worked suddenly Roman got a horrible feeling in his stomach. Suddenly his whole life made a lot more sense, and suddenly he felt sort of bad for making a career as an influencer (he makes Instagram videos and YouTube commentary videos and confession type stuff, sort of akin to Dan Howell’s old stuff). And understandably this has but a lot of questions between him and his husband and if his husband was influenced by this ability Roman didn’t know he had. He is really conflicted. On one hand, he has something to talk to his daughter about and he’s learning to control himself better and find other people that relate to him. On the other hand, he feels a bit bad whenever one of his videos goes viral now, his husband doesn’t like appearing in videos anymore, and there’s a weird rift int heir relationship they have to get over now.

I’m sure you’re wondering now how they all meet. Well, Virgil and Patton are old college roommates and Virgil is staying with him while he goes to grad school because graduate students make not a lot of money and as great as witchcraft is, it unfortunately can’t make money out of thin air.

Roman is taking Patton’s class with his husband. The husband stops going in the middle of the class and Patton senses something’s up. He invites Roman to have a friendly coffee and Roman ends up spilling everything that’s been going on and probably his coffee too.

Logan shows up at the university from time to time to go to poetry readings or talk with people in the literary community or see a lecture and Virgil catches a glimpse of him on one of his visits and thinks “Oh. An A-class with a cracked soul. That’s some valuable blood for potions and such.” and he proceeds to worm his way into Logan’s life to try and convince him to let him bottle some of his blood. Unfortunately for Virgil he ends up liking Logan so much that this request becomes more and more awkward sounding as time goes on and eventually he gives up on the idea. Logan deduces what he wanted when Virgil reveals that he’s a warlock and then shrugs and goes “I have plenty of scars already. What’s one more?” and then there’s a weird visit to Patton’s house where Roman and his husband are having an informal bit of couple’s therapy and Virgil is thinking about taking Logan int he back room to do some bloodletting which is being delayed because guests are here and Roman and Virgil hate each other immediately of course.

I could take all of this two ways. Magical friends living a weird everyday magical life and doing weird everyday shenanigans, or some weird dangerous event happens like someone killing off witches or Roman’s daughter getting kidnapped, forcing Logan out of retirement and Virgil into using some of those weird bottles of blood he’s been holding onto. Big or small. Who knows? Not me. This is just an outline for the au who knows if I’ll actually do anything with it

#sanders sides #roman said a thing #sanders sides au

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thebestplltheories · 5 years

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PLL The Perfectionists - 1x01 Pilot LIVE REACTION

WE ARE BACK!!!!

Ok I’m gonna do what I was doing for PLL where I react as I watch. But before I copy and paste the live reaction, I want to give my quick overview. That was by far a 10/10. That achieved everything a pilot should achieve. It introduced us to the characters, each of their stories, and the relationships each character has with one another. It set the overall tone, that this is a murder mystery with twists and turns to come. It established what the show is about. And it had occasional small shocks (I say small because there’s only so much that can be shocking in a pilot when everything is brand new). This was exponentially darker than the PLL pilot and for that I’m so grateful. We are cutting the high school airy-fairy (is that word used outside of Australia?) drama and going straight to scandals and a murder. I’m scared to see the ratings tomorrow because I want it to do well but hey it was trending worldwide on Twitter so that’s a good sign!? The show looks SO promising. I think I’m already in love with the cast. I just want to know more about everything and everyone and omg we are back!

LIVE THOUGHTS:

Love this intro! It sets the scene very well about the whole theme of perfectionism.

WAIT IS DYLAN PLAYING POKERFACE BY LADY GAGA HAHAHAHAHA

Okay sorry but that song ain’t it (“two can keep a secret if one of them is dead”). Why does it sound like an auto tuned choir? I’m happy for change. I actually don’t want the exact same version as the original series. But this one ain’t it. Is it too late to change it???

Wait, why is Alison walking around her new apartment like she’s walking around Jenna’s school for the blind in 710? If she lived 2 years of happiness and freedom of A, there’s no need to be so sceptical of danger every time you walk into a room. Anyway, doesn’t really matter.

Just the backing music throughout the scene is very PLL-esque! Yes, there is such thing as PLL backing music. And this is it.

Mona making a grand entrance!

I feel like Ali’s reaction to seeing Mona was a bit... underwhelming? If they haven’t seen each other in 2 years I expected a bit more of an “OMG”, and a “how did you get in my apartment”, etc. But they go straight to the point and cut the fluff so I don’t mind overall.

Mona recruited Ali. I knew it. And she works at BHU, we already knew that.

Emison is having trust issues. But she wants to do this for the kids. Ok I expected more detail there to satisfy the Emison shippers but whatever, I won’t cry at night.

Ok so Mary and Alex escaped Mona’s “dungeon”. That’s fine by me. Maybe that’ll be the storyline for a PLL movie later, who knows. It’s quite a vague answer but what did we expect... Mona to ADMIT to Ali that she captured her aunt? No. Mona could never explicitly say to Ali what she did. Hence the subtle pause before “... escaped me”. Only us the audience know the true meaning of that and I love how subtle yet meaningful it is.

Why do I feel like this security system is gonna play a massive toll throughout the entire series?

Loved the little Easter egg of seeing Mona, and Mona in the mirror (2 Mona’s). A subtle symbol/reference to her split personality in PLL.

I LOVED the scene of Ali teaching in the classroom! I got How To Get Away With Murder vibes...

Remember when we all thought Taylor’s death would be the main death of the show because of that memorial with her name on it... lol. Okay I’m calling it now... come back to this in the apparently mind blowing season 1 finale... Taylor isn’t really dead WE HAVENT TECHNICALLY SEEN A BODY

Love the complicated friendships going on between Dylan, Nolan, Ava, Caitlin! There’s a lot going on about faking being friends and faking tasks to uphold the image of being perfect. I love this theme and I feel like it’s super relevant to today’s world. Like especially social media. Everyone’s instagrams are always filled of their highs. And they’re mostly edited. No one ever posts/shares their low moments.

So no one knows of Ali’s past. Hmmm. We’ve had this discussion before, I don’t think it’s realistic that no one knows the name Alison DiLaurentis - surely that was on national news when “dead girl isn’t dead anymore” made headlines. But anyway. If they wanna pretend no one watches the news, it wouldn’t be the most unrealistic thing PLL has done.

Is Dylan the gay male character Marlene said she was going to introduce in PLL season 5B? Lmao about time.

WOW that flashback of Caitlin and Nolan just gave me PLL season 1 Alison flashback vibes! Nolan plays the bad manipulative guy so well just like Ali played the bully so well in flashbacks!

Two moms don’t make a right hahahaha who wrote that

Sofia looks FLAWLESS in the pool scene OH MY GODDD. AND her voice is so soothing what the hell

Love how the first scene of Nolan’s mother shows her standing on top of the staircase and the camera panning up. Great directing there. Showing she’ll be like a supreme leader. And then the camera being over her shoulders looking down on Nolan. Again great camera work which conveys the message that she is the boss of this town. I think she’ll be our new Jessica DiLaurentis lol

“I’d like some time for myself” ... “to do what?” OUCH why is that so iconic

Eli is... doing great. He comes across very confident. A star in the making?

Love the cinematography period. And Portland is beautiful!! Better than the Warner Bros lot.

Omg Nolan’s mother gathering “attractive” people for her photo op. Lol, they really are big on presenting a perfect image.

“You saw somebody else” NO CAITLIN, ALISON SAW YOU wow these kids will adamantly lie to uphold perfectionism. I keep saying that but I just love this theme!!!

“I know a little bit about manipulation” hahahahaha Ali

Omg Ali is so good at learning their lies. Of course she is, she’s had years of practice

The woods, Nolan? Nothing good ever happens in the woods.

Lol when Nolan tells Dylan to “kiss me” and Dylan actually contemplates it (and does it). That’s the type of power Nolan has over people.

I love how Ali is trying to help them! I can see a bond eventually forming here.

This scene where Nolan cheats on Ava isn’t shocking since they unfortunately shared it in the promos but hey a douche is a douche.

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK IT’S TAYLOR WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOVE

OK I KNOW I GUESSED ALEX DRAKE BUT THIS IS A NEW RECORD FOR FASTEST THEORY TO COME TRUE

Well it wasn’t really a theory I was just joking that she’s not really dead because we didn’t see a body but still do I get a point? Lmao

Nonetheless that shocked me! I love that they’re trying to take down their own family, that’s so dark and it’s only episode 1!

Yes Alison is already getting suspicious. Solve this one please Ali

Sorry I put my phone down during that scene in the woods. I just knew it would be juicy and I wanted to immerse in it properly. I frickin adore this scene. It’s creepy in tone, set in the woods like classic PLL, they’re referring to Ali like a friend and my PLL heart is content, and this is the first time they’re all bonding over one thing: wanting Nolan dead. This is probably my favourite scene in the whole episode.

So I’m guessing the vibes are that they were being recorded in the woods about how they want Nolan to be killed? But didn’t Nolan turn off the security?

Mona gets in her car and chucks a big bag in the back seat. Where was she and what was in the baggggg

Ok that was a bit dramatic Ali (“why am I really here”)

Lol I had to rewatch that for a sec. I thought Ali said “and his dead sister who I just saw pick him up” and I was like wait what Ali knows Taylor’s alive??? No, “dead sister who I just saw a picture of”.

OH MY GOD WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!! THAT SCENE WHERE THE 3 OF THEM ARE WALKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER... NOLAN’S BODY SHOULD’VE FALLEN TO THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM RIGHT THERE! That would’ve been iconic. Like “oh well we were just kidding about all that, good night xx” then nope bam dead body. But I guess he had to die with poles through his chest as Caitlin said.

Oh Marlene. That’s a LOT of dialogue for a death scene. I hope you can back up and explain what Nolan is talking about before he died. Don’t you dare tell me that was an interpretative dream. Again that’s a lot of dialogue for a death scene. You better know who that killer is Marlene! Don’t make it up the day you write the finale!

I don’t like how we didn’t see Nolan ACTUALLY be killed. They play it safe because they don’t want to show us the killer in action. they basically copied the format of Mona’s “death”. Just change the scene to a flashing ambulance with a lame transition lol.

Another missed opportunity. Mona should’ve said to Ali “they found a body”! That would’ve been iconic in every way possible. First it was Ali’s body now Ali is finding a body and hearing the news and ugh oh well

My god that’s a violent death. And pretty early in the series for a Noel-Khan-level death. Too bad the photos leaked online and we knew that Nolan would not only die, but die like THAT. Those extras/fillers on set really should get charged for having their phones on them and leaking shit. Isn’t there copyright laws or something???? idk

Ummmmmm what? What kind of sci-fi, dollhouse level bullshit is that? That’s kinda over the top. Ehhhh. We’ll see where that goes.

My brain right now instantly got to thinking if Nolan’s murderer will be the “A” of the series or if the killer will just be the main mystery for season 1? Is “who killed Nolan” going to be the overarching story of the entire show or will they answer that sooner rather than later and then start a new mystery? I wonder what the format of this show will be. That’s where my mind is right now as the credits play.

#PLL #pretty little liars #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists #pll theories #plltp #tp #alison dilaurentis #pretty little liars theories

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studyaroundthetokki · 4 years

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A little more on 2nd language learning

Hello peeps. Your inconsistently updated non-favorite langblr here. :) Isn’t English fun? I was responding to a comment on my most blown up post--which I am lucky enough to have 0 regrets over (other than some wording.. which actually works to drive the point about accuracy and fluency home). And I was thinking about my students from last year.

I had this kid, we’ll call him Super Shim (one of his actual nicknames) or SS for short. SS was maybe 8 or 9? Korean ages are calculated differently. Anyway. This kid spoke English at a level higher than most kids his age at a native level. He was fantastic.. but he was also bullied a lot, had a bad habit of screaming at the top of his lungs, and in general... could be a handful.

He also got told he was stupid.

Every day.

Until this precocious little kids who I adored.. believed it. :/ I mean yes, some days I wanted to scream right with him because his behaviors were frustrating.. but usually SS and I got along great.

This super advanced kid who spoke better than some of the Korean staff I’ve worked with in teaching English--thought he was stupid because he made a mistake. Things that even native speakers have trouble with (a/an, other things like that.. past tense, verb agreement, ect). Shit that I, someone with a master’s in linguistics, sometimes mess up.

So.........I started encouraging him to point out when I made mistakes. And boy did he and his other two classmates. They were little butts.. and add to the fact that I was the fat white teacher lady, they thought it was so fun to make fun of me... but then.. we started working on some creative stuff when classes were wrapping up early. We started working on things like 5 minute stories where you had to just write as much as you could. (SS always finished early so I’d tell him to illustrate it or correct it or give him a chance to just talk about whatever his lil mind wanted to--as long as it was in English). Sometimes I’d encourage them to explain Korean to me--in English.

It was.. really cool to watch that whole class go from being uncomfortable in English... to picking on their teacher.. to being able to discuss works like Matilda. Which.. the first day I made them slog through. We read that intro and they hated it. They cried and complained. Made them do it anyway.. then we get to the part about how Matilda, who was about their age, wanted to read books that she didn’t understand.. and the kindly librarian told her.. to just read it anyway, to just enjoy the words as words.. and that it was OK if you didn’t understand everything.

They just finished the book a few weeks ago and are now reading Charlie & the Chocolate factory. I still have the letters that they wrote me. :) They’re good kids. I miss them... and I honestly think it was that class that made me realize that just maybe.. I’m not a horrible teacher. My “worst” class because they sure as hell were difficult and drove me crazy some days. My “worst” class because the director thought I wasted time. My “worst class” .. that showed more progress than any other class I taught. My worst class.. where the sassy little girl went from insulting me in Korean to insulting me in English lol. My worst class where same girl went from only being able to write 2~3 sentences because she was afraid of making mistakes.. to being able to write 5~6 and sometimes even finishing her assignments. Her mom was a teacher, so she was afraid of messing up big time. My worst class, was probably the best one ever. Lil jerks, I miss them. :)

I have lots of stories like this.. but really, I hope that you keep doing whatever it is that you’re not good at. Because sometimes, you just need more time. Sometimes.. you’re so hard on yourself because you are too close to it and cannot see the progress you’ve made.

So, if no one else has said it--I’m proud of you for all the effort you put in. You’re so much more awesome than you know. It’s OK if you take a break or don’t understand it all. You’re great! How do I know? Because you tried!

#studyblr #langblr

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joyofcrime-elinorhigh · 5 years

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Camp Camp REVIEW:

Hello there, everybody. My name is JoyofCrimeArt and the Summer season has just come to an end. It's that time or year where the heat starts to die down, as the brisk Autumn breeze comes blowing forth to refresh our minds and bodies, and to remind us that-wait hold on. Yeah, okay. So I just checked Google and it turns out that it's currently ninety degrees outside exactly. Sorry Autumn, better luck next month. Anyway, with Summer "technically" wrapping up I though now would be as good of a time as any to talk about Rooster Teeth Production's Summer themed adult animated series "Camp Camp."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4c6JUBauBg

(By the way, this intro is so frickin' catchy.) For those who don't know "Camp Camp" is a online animated series that comes from Rooster Teeth Productions, the studio that brought us Red vs Blue, RWBY, and the Youtube Red original movie, Lazor Team. If I had to describe the show I would describe it as "Total Drama Island" crossed with "South Park." So what's the plot? Camp Camp centers around Max, a cynical ten year old who hates the entire world around him. He's the typical cynical, bitter type of character you see a lot in these "adult animated" shows. Max's goal in the series to escape from Camp Campbell, a crappy run down summer camp in the middle of nowhere, and make his way back to civilization. He also has help from his two friends, Neil and Nikki. Neil is a science nerd who is very quick to angry outburst. He and Max share the role as the straight man in most episodes. Then there's Nikki, a hyperactive wild child and self proclaimed "agent of chaos." Out of the main trio she's probably my favorite. She just has some much energy, and it's actual nice to see a character who is actually happy to be at the camp, even though she still tries to help Max and Neil escape. There's also the two camp counselor, David and Gwen. David is an optimistic yet dim counselor who tries to make the three (mainly Max) see the joys of camping, without much success. He often will suffer torment form our main protagonist, sometimes indirectly but often directly. However despite the universes punching bag he's still manages to stay cartoonishly optimistic. I really like David, and he is one of my favorite, if not my favorite character in the show. His constant optimism is really funny but he's not a static character either. In a lot of these type of cartoons we get characters who are either always happy or almost always happy, and they end up being very one dimensional a lot of the time. David is different because while we see him being happy most of the time we see that he does have limits. We see that he gets stressed out by things and is trying his hardest to stay optimistic anyway. It's not like in Spongebob, where Spongebob is always happy because he unaware that things around him aren't perfect. David knows that things around him aren't perfect, but still tries to stay upbeat about it. It's a lot more relatable in that way, at least in my humble opinion. Gwen meanwhile, is the smarter and more snarky counselor who just tries to stay out of everything and just read her trashy magazine. Gwen will often act as the foil to David and it works really well comically. I also really like Gwen's voice actress, Lee Eddy. It's a great voice that really works for her deadpan deliveries, and as we later learn she also a great singer! The show also has a large plethora of side characters. The show uses a clever strategy when it comes to introducing the side characters, usually giving each of the side characters one episode each to shine. Plus they break those episodes up with episodes that are just about Max, Neil and Nikki. This makes it a lot easier to manage all of the side characters, and the stereotypes that the side characters represent makes it very easier for the audience to immediately know what the characters are about. The show has a pretty large cast, so I'll try to hit most of the more notable side characters real quick here. There's Cameron Campbell, the camp's immoral founder who is on the run from the government. There's Space Kid, a kid who likes outer space and always has a glass dome around his head. There's Preston, the psychotic theater kid (Who is a really funny character by the way.) There's Nurf, the camp bully. There's Ered, the cool kid. There's Harrison, the magic kid. There's Nerris, the other magic kid. There's Dolph, who may or may not be a clone of Hitler. Y'know, all of the normal character archtypes. None of these character get to much development beyond there stereotypes, but there still enjoyable and funny in there own rights. Oh, also there's a platypus as the camp mascot, because when in doubt, add a platypus.

(Muack!) Now, as stated before, this show is not for kids. As we learned from "Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared" the more kid friendly something on the internet looks the more horrible and vulgar it probably is. But they do adult humor very cleverly, usually not going "too far." with the joke. There are a lot of adult cartoons out there that just try to be vulgar for vulgarities sake. Show's where every character is just an irredeemable jerk wad. Camp Camp, luckily, doesn't fall into this category. There's some vulgarity in it, but it never feels like they are trying to force it in where it doesn't belong. This shows humor is very clever and funny, and just happens to incorporates some adult themes sometimes. What I like about this show is how closely it does feel to a show that could air on television. The episodes are about the right length, and so is the theme song. Plus the animation in this series is beautiful by web series standards. It looks TV quality, on par with something like PBS Kid's "Wild Kratts" or something like that. Just like Don't Hug Me this makes the adult humor a lot funnier. Since it looks so much like a kid show it makes it more unexpected when they do something very adult and thus makes it more comedic. I admire Rooster Teeth so much for always putting so much effort into there animation, even though they only do web series. It's all done in flash but it's done well, so that all that really matters. Similar to the point above about content being juxtaposed with the animation, this show also has an odd thing with it's music. In the show itself the music matches, but during each episodes end credits the music is always some kind of rap song, for whatever reason. It seems odd but thinking about it it really does works. I think it's because everything in this show has such a weird mishmash of elements that one more weird element doesn't really feel out of place. Plus it's sort of matches Max's anti-authority mentality, so in a way it actually match in a weird kind of way. This show is also really fun to watch if you are already a fan of Rooster Teeth's other works. About half of the cast of Camp Camp are returning actors from RWBY. Max is Sun, Neil is Mercury, David is Jaune, Space Kid is Ruby, Ered is Pyrrha, Nikki is FRICKIN' WINTER OF ALL PEOPLE! It's greatly amusing to see the voice actors from the mostly child friendly RWBY saying such vulgarity. It's a nice extra level for RWBY fans. Same thing I would think would apply if you watch this and then watch RWBY, except backwards. Speaking of voice acting the show has a pretty all star cast for a web show. Big name anime and animation voice actor Yuri Lowenthal voices Neil, Travis Willingham is Cameron Campbell and they even got Dante Basco in one episode! It's really cool hearing all these big name actors voices in a web cartoon like this. Now the show obviously isn't perfect. My biggest problem with the show is honestly, the main character. Neil and Nikki are cool characters but I honestly don't like Max very much. Now Max can be a funny character for sure, but he's not very likeable, at least to me. He's just a cynical A-hole. Which I know is the point and all, but still. I don't hate him or anything, but out of the main three characters he's probably my least favorite. It's just hard to care for a character who doesn't care about anything. Also I sort of don't like how David is the shows punching bag a lot of the time. David is an awesome character, but it's lame that we always see him suffer. Again, I know it's the point but it's still hard to watch. That being said the show does sort of make up for it in the final episode when we get the sorta "moral." of the series, and what the David/Max conflict was leading up to. I don't want to spoil the ending for anybody who hasn't seen the show, but the scene in the season finale with Max and David (If you seen the show you should know what scene I'm talking about.) Is so powerful. From the lack of music to the voice acting to the beautiful message of it all. I would just rewatch that scene over and over on Youtube because of how well done it was. So even the flaws of this show do have a point. It's just kinda a grind getting to that point, but overall I think it is worth it for the message the show is trying to teach. Also it looks like these flaws might be toned down in season two, but it's kinda two early to tell at this point. But that all might just be a personal preference kind of thing, and other people might not mind at all. Especially if you happen to be a fan of cynical or sadistic humor. ...Y'know what I just realized. This show in a lot of ways in just a backwards "Camp Lazlo." Think about it, Camp Camp is about a cynical camper who tries to annoy an overly optimistic camp counselor and show him that life is a sad and pathetic place. Meanwhile Camp Lazlo is about an overly optimistic camper annoying a cynical scoutmaster, trying to show him that life is great and awesome place.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssnw2GA657s

Random thing. Only recently, when rewatching some of the episodes in preparation for this review did I think to myself, "Why is Nikki's hair green?" Like, I had been watching this show every week for over three months, and I knew her hair was green but only then did I really question-wait a minute. Green hair. Self proclaimed agent of chaos. Oh my God....Nikki is the Joker! It makes so much sense! It was always there in front of us, we were all just to blind to see it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssnw2GA657s

Another random thing. Just one month before Camp Camp came out, another camp themed adult cartoon came out. Camp WWE. If you are unaware, Camp WWE is a show about the WWE superstars being children in a summer camp run by Ric Flair. I've never seen the show, but I just found it an interesting thing to bring up. The show was created by Seth Green and more importantly IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT EXIST IN THE REAL WORLD FOR REAL! Anyway, I'm not saying that Camp Camp ripped off Camp WWE, as both would have been in production for long enough that they couldn't copy each other. But it's quiet a coincidence. Or is it a coincidence? Hmmmm. Coincidence?....I think NO- In conclusion, Camp Camp is a funny, well written, Amazingly animated web series that I think you all should consider checking out. While not perfect in any way I had a ton of fun watching through the series and all the episodes are easily available on Youtube. So Campe Diem! Have you seen the series? If so what did you think of it? What's you're favorite episode? (Mine is episode 12! Ugh, it's so good!) Tell me what you think about the show in the comments down bellow and I would really appreciate it. I love hearing what other people think about cartoons, and starting a discussion. Any suggestions for things I should review. Suggest them down bellow and maybe I'll do em if I find them interesting enough. Please fav, follow and comment if you liked the review and want to see more and have a great day!

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Camp-Camp-REVIEW-636395864 DA Link

#camp camp #RWBY #Rooster Teeth #Cartoon Reviews #web series

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feadae · 6 years

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Kids, man

So my mom’s a middle-school theater teacher, right? She’s grading her students’ district assessments, and she’s reading me some of the worst (or best) answers, and I’m writing them down because they’re hysterical. Bear in mind: because this isn’t a test my mom wrote herself, the review session she had with the kids was her literally going over the answer key with them word for word and explaining the answers the way she did when she taught the concepts. With Theater I, she did this the day before the test. With Theater II, they didn’t have the time the day before, so she did the review the day of the test, literally fifteen minutes before the kids took it.

Define the term ‘comedy’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Comedy is a regular line of funny.”

Define the term ‘tragedy as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Something bad that happens usually to an actor like everyone dies in hamlet.” “It means something that is bad.” “Main character usually dies and there’s usually a hero.” “Tragedy is like a very serious but sad moment.” “Sad and kinda shocked. Example: Stranger Things.” “Tragedy can be when an actor dies or when something bad happens for example in Harry Potter Tom Riddle technology died.” We think he means ‘technically’ died? “Tragedy like how in the movie the hobbit it is a tragedy that the war happened many people died in it.” Mom: “Isn’t this terrifying? These are seventh graders.”

Define the term ‘melodrama’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. Fun fact: the current production at my mom’s school is a set of two melodramas, which a lot of these kids are in. “Melodrama is a drama that is a phantom that you think something is gonna happen but it’s the opposite what everybody was probably thinking like in Charlotte’s web they were going to kill the pig but the girl got to keep it.” “Scared. Pirates of the Caribbean.” “A very mixed-emotions play. Twilight.” “Something that is dramatic but on a lower level than tragedy. An example would be Jurassic World.” “A melodrama is a play that is like a horror movie that make the audience scared. Phantom of the Opera, It, and Jurassic World.” “?”

Define the term ‘drama’ as we use it in theater, and give an example. “Drama is where you take a story and dramatize it.” “A serious situation that should be taken seriously. An example would be Blurp from Evening of Scenes.” We think she means “Blue” from The Bully Plays, which the kids performed with several other scenes from various plays that the department put on last spring at a revue-style show they called Evening of Scenes. “Drama is something that is dramatic.” “A serious situation treated in a serious manner. Sometimes singing is involved. An example would be Les Mis.” “Drama is acting or gossip. Example: Mean Girls.” “Drama is when a character spreads something bad to another character and starts drama. For example: the Californians from SNL.” “Drama in a play is like when people would be in a romance kind of play.” “Drama has 2 meanings: 1) a play or form of a play 2) overreacting in some way, like a soap opera.” “Drama’s like a tragedy without death. An example would be Everything, Everything.” “Drama is a play where the actor show. a. lot of emotion. Photom of the Opera, The Choronal Engine, Romero and Juilyat.” “Drama is when someone gets to an argument to fight.” Mom: “You can tell when people study together, because here’s four people in a row with The King and I as their example.

Identify the plot structure. Fill in the blank. Inciting incident is the answer. “Insight is inciting.” “Don’t know the theater term for it.” Mom: “I’m going to give them intro and beginning, just don’t call it conflict, BEN.” Exposition is the answer. Mom: “Evolution. Oh. Okay. Perhaps you weren’t aware that stories start with evolution.” Mom: “Start. Okay, Paige.” Mom: “Begging? Okay. Avery thinks the beginning is called the begging. Reese thinks it’s called find. Jack thinks it’s the epilogue.” “Uprise.” “Building of story.” “Plot begins.” “Conflict starter.” “Starting.” “Incident inciter.” “Inciting incline.” “Conflict.” “Enfenation.” “Turning point.” “Defining incident.” “Insiteing actcident.” “Problem acours.” Blank answer. Mom: “Burke didn’t even give it a shot.” “Explosion.” “Opening scene.” “Narration.” “Don’t know the theater term, incentive something, but it’s the narrative hook.” This next kid is in her Theater II class. You know, the one where they reviewed fifteen minutes before the test? “Important imposition.” These are this one kid’s answers for exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. “Learn, Identify, Create, Emphasize, React.” Rising action is the answer. “Plot.” “Rise and action.” “Building up to climax.” “Plot lifts.” “Risking action.” “Action.” Climax is the answer. “Starts to end.” “Plot.” Falling action is the answer. “Fall and action.” This is the ‘rise and action’ kid. “The ending of the climax.” “It’s almost over.” “Downfall.” “Downfall action.” Resolution is the answer. “Wrap-up.” “End.” “Ending action.” “Retaliation.” “Climax.”

Define ‘protagonist.’ “The protagonist is someone who lies.” “The protagonist gets in the antagonist’s way and is the villain.” “The protagonist is a bad sharacter who gets in the antagonist’s way.” “When a person or another actor kinda blocks the main or star character.” “Can be evil or someone who gets in someone’s ways.” “The person you see the story thought.”

Define ‘antagonist.’ “Someone who tell the truth.” This is the ‘protagonist lies’ kid. “A good person or a bad person that either stay away or fight.” “When an actor doesn’t do anything.” “Someone who wants something done. Mostly he or she is a good guy.”

The areas of the stage are identified from whose perspective? The correct answer is ‘the actor’s,’ when they’re facing the audience and standing on stage. That’s why they’re called stage directions. 8 kids said audience and 6 kids said director.

Why are stage directions important? “So the actor won’t just stand there for the whole play.” “It teaches the actors how to behave on stage.” Blank answer. Mom: “Owen! You know this answer!” “It helps actors tell the story better.”

Turns out, the lowest score is a 50%, and only one kid out of about 50 got a 100%.

#she speaks #she speaks too much #personal anecdote #theater #teacher #kids amiright

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vampiremeerkat · 7 years

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If you could rewrite any movie which one would you choose and what would you make different?

Difficult to say, there are alot of bad movies, or worse; movies that had potential.Today I still feel disappointed by Ed, Edd n Eddy’s Big Picture Show. Unlike most of the movies I find bad, I was looking forward to this one. I’m sure that influenced my judgement. I remember it leaving me unfulfilled after watching it for the first time, though it took me a while to realise why.The movie’s production gave Antonucci’s team the opportunity to explore the more undeveloped characters in the cast, like the Kanker sisters and Nazz, but they squandered that chance by making some very odd decisions. I was not charmed by the heavy focus on Edd and Eddy’s friendship, which was filled with..well..homosexual undertones not many fans can deny, while Ed mostly stood in the background, not being much of a serious participant in the very serious drama. It’s a role he ended up playing alot in the series, but it’s not a role he deserved to have in what was supposed to be HIS movie as well.Anyway, there would be quite a few things I’d rewrite. I’d start off taking away all the mystery. When you write a movie for a TV series, it’s supposed to answer the mystery that already exists, not create more or ignore it. I would’ve shown what’s under Edd’s hat, just to be done with it, and make it very clear what it is the Eds have done to deserve getting hunted down like animals. Since they already performed so many scams where they destroyed the neighbourhood and severely hurt their customers, it’s hard to guess what they could’ve done that’s so much worse than their previous antics. When looking at the damage in the intro, I don’t even consider it worse than the previous scams. Somebody needs to be in a coma in order for it to be worse. Sarah and Jimmy were still happily doing their own thing while all of it occurred, so I’d say it was not yet Armageddon. Speaking of which, these two and they disaster tourism didn’t add anything to the story, so maybe they should’ve made themselves useful and be in that coma. Or at least perceived as such by everybody. This would immediately give Ed a bigger, more sincere role as well, since he cares for his sister and would be heartbroken over it. I’m aware it would’ve been a different movie if the carefree dolt turned sad and serious, then again, the original plot is not one you’d tie to a comedy, either. Maybe the fact that it is, is another problem. Why were the Eds this upbeat during their exile? Should the movie even be about children fleeing for their life if you want it to be a comedy?Anyway, the gist is that we need something that makes this scam worse than all the others, and have the characters properly respond to it.I’d also change up the romance with Nazz and Kevin. It was a tedious performance, thanks to Kevin, but I also consider the cheerleader/jock combination to be a cliché we need less of. I would’ve had her go for Eddy, or based on useable hints from the show, Edd.Besides that, I think Nazz’ parts could’ve used flashback scenes to her obese days, where we’d then learn more about who she is and the relationship she shared with whoever she started showing affection towards. That could still be Kevin in this case, but if it was one of the Eds, maybe she could also secretly boycott the other children’s journey to finding them.It also would’ve been cool if in some flashback scenes we’d see Nazz from previous episodes, defending and promoting the Eds or decreasing the damage of their scams behind the scenes, showing how big her influence was. Like the 3rd Lion King movie. Just anything to increase her importance, I guess.If Kevin stays her crush, I would scrap the bike obsession and actually have him respond to her advantages in a believable manner.The role of the Kankers in the movie was fine, but it’s disappointing that their efforts of protecting the Eds from the others were not acknowledged by anyone, and that they did not bother saving Edd and Eddy from Eddy’s brother’s violence. That was strangely out-of-character. I’d have them beat him up and the Eds openly accepting them afterwards, since they saved them twice by that time and have proven their feelings to be genuine. Of course this needs proper dialogue to go with, but I think when this level of seriousness comes from characters like the Kankers, it’ll have a bigger impact than when it comes from a character that’s already emotional most of the time. Like Edd.Then for Eddy’s brother, who I truthfully have no problems with; he could’ve benefited from a character redemption, even if it’s just to humanize a villain for once. We have way too many unmotivated villains in fiction and we still don’t really know who Eddy’s brother is.In the movie we see the Kanker sisters dragging him inside his home, off committing sexual assault by the looks of it, which I find an improper way to end the story of a man we only just got introduced to. He’ll still be Eddy’s brother at the end of the day, so what will these two boys say to each other at the next family dinner? Not much good when you end things this way.So, after I’d have him beaten up by the Kankers and Eddy had his talk with his unusual saviours, I think it would be good if he approached his floored brother and directly asked why he is bullying him. Eddy’s brother would then confess that he’s upset because their parents preferred Eddy over him after he was born. He’ll add that he tried to teach him bad things in order to get him in trouble, and on other days just shoved him around in his state of bitterness, but his intention was to become the #1 son again. But now that he’s an adult and living on his own, he realises it’s pointless to keep going and he’s lost the game of winning their love long ago. Nobody has to feel sorry for him at that point but Eddy.The problem with the movie is that it’s all pretty much about Eddy, with Edd playing the other main part. These two had the most story-progressing dialogue.I don’t know why Eddy is the only character that got explored, we already know who he is. If the less exciting travelling scenes - so most of them in my opinion - were replaced with exploring the other characters, I think we’d have a more interesting movie.Not saying his character exploration is bad, but why did they choose to discuss Eddy’s relationship with his brother? Why not also Ed’s with his sister and parents? And Edd’s with his parents? There’s so much that’s left undiscussed, and I don’t think Eddy’s relationship with his brother was the first and only thing fans were curious about. Show off the parents, show off more children, reveal some last names; this alone I find more interesting than Eddy’s brother.The Kankers were the only allies from beginning to finish, but they got zero praise, Nazz was obviously supposed to star in her own little romance plot, but the movie ended without the romance ever being mentioned again, Kevin was horrid, Rolf and Wilfred were fairly unpleasant towards each other, and the villainous role Jonny was given was insulting towards his character; it’s like nobody received the minimal best treatment from this movie.I also would’ve inserted different music tracks for the dramatic bits. The music was consistently jazzy and cheery, it was weird to listen to.Fans say to have cried when Ed and Eddy sank through the mud, but the background music already spoiled that it was all just gud lulz. It and the sound effects did not take these scenes seriously, while you can clearly see that the animation did. The ball was dropped at many areas.

#ed #edd #eddy #eene #double d #nazz #kanker sisters #kankers #kevin #big picture show #ed edd n eddy's big picture show #movie #eddy's brother

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danmacrae · 7 years

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Silly 90s Intro Blab: A Thing To Skim Through On The Toilet

youtube

Hello! I’m semi-tolerable nuisance Dan MacRae! Why am I shouting at you? Not sure! Sorry, I’ll take it down a notch.

Instead of learning how to pleasure a woman or how to unlock the mysteries of grooming, I have devoted my life to TV nonsense. Blessed YouTube presence RwDt09 has been collecting these amazing compilations of era (and sometimes season) specific TV intros and they are my everything. Imagine having a child that didn’t suck? That’s the feeling RwDt09′s videos put in my heart.

I've been obsessively rewatching this collection of mostly forgotten early '90s TV intros. The bulk of these shows died a quick death and feel like the product of whatever drugs TV execs take. (Probably something snorted from one of those awesome McDonalds coffee straws they ditched in like 2002.) Because I'm a handsome pin-up hunk of the year, I wrote some dumb blurbs about the first few shows and have some stray thoughts on the rest. This appeals to no one but me AND I APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE!

In the immortal words of John Lennon, let’s get biz-zay!

DINOSAURS: I’m at a point in my life where I can acknowledge that Dinosaurs sucked. It’s incredibly freeing. Christ, this is like that stupid-ass Norman Lear show where dogs did social commentary BUT WITH HENSON PUPPETS! I hope Baby Sinclair was stomped to death and eaten as pudding before the extinction series finale. (Yes, that happened.) The intro isn’t bad, mind you. You get the lumbering theme song and Earl gets stuck in a door CUZ LAFFS! TIMES SURE HAVEN’T CHANGED HO HO HO! God I hate these fucking dinosaurs.

Intro MVP: It’s not a stellar pack, but we get a bit of Robbie Sinclair who census data has shown led to a variety of surprising sexual awakenings for youths at the time.

SCORCH: A 1300-year-old dragon named Scorch visits the 1990s on a budget that looks not far removed from Skank on The Ben Stiller Show. The song will make you want to barricade your sex organs from a world where you can bring children into a world with THAT CAWAZZZY SCORCH! The theme song really is a special brand of irritating and Scorch looks like a malformed Deviant Art dildo with a vaguely religious bent.

Intro MVP: Probably John O’Hurley for not actually appearing in the intro. (Even with O’Hurley’s weird résumé.)

FISH POLICE: Not to be confused with the (ARF! ARF! ARF!) Dog Police, Fish Police and Family Dog are shows I know almost exclusively from being mentioned as examples of the crappy post-Simpsons primetime animation gold rush. Fish Police actually looks good animation-wise, but it’s pretty clear you’re gonna be sledgehammered with endless “COULD YOU IMAGINE FISH DOING THESE OLD TROPES? DO WE NEED TO CALL A SEARCH PARTY FOR YOUR SIDES? ARE THEY SPLITTING ALREADY?” jokes. Congrats dipshits, you made a cinema-touched precursor to Frankie & George. You dummies. Also there’s the tone of casual racism UNDER THE SEA so do with that what you will. DID YOU SEE CHINATOWN? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?

Intro MVP: Thank goodness they specified who John Ritter voices so we could all bask in Inspector Gil as a character name. Fuck you, Fish Police.

CAPITOL CRITTERS: Christ, this looks UNWATCHABLE. Like walk into oncoming traffic as an alternative unwatchable. Capitol Critters centers around an animated mouse named Max (voiced by Neil Patrick Harris) witnesses his family being murdered in Nebraska and moves to D.C. and wait what the fuck is going on with those roaches? (Racism, mostly.) Who thought this was a good idea to invest time, money and animator joint damage in? Stephen Bochco, baby! I have a perverse curiosity to see an episode but after 90 seconds I know I'd be dying to eat a fucking gun instead of suffering through any more of Capitol Critters.

Intro MVP: Gotta be Bochco. Also, EAT SHIT BOCHCO!

And now a really tiny blab about the rest. Watch this clip package, ya goofs!

FAMILY DOG: Folks were fucking horny for Spielberg TV shit in the 90s, ditto Tim Burton too and that's how an Amazing Stories, uh, story was morphed into a shitball TV series that Brad Bird wanted no part of. Also, I have no idea how to explain things like the CBS StereoSound chyron to anyone born after Clinton left office.

THE CRITIC: Nice to see you, Jay Sherman! This is a lovely intro and you likely know that already. I've done a few rewatches of The Critic (not the web series season, though) and I say the show definitely holds up and is far from a duketastrophe. That said, some of the parody film clips that got raves at the time are kinda creaky in hindsight.

CHARLIE HOOVER: Can I say something? Fuck Sam Kinison. Hmm... That's a bit harsh. I guess I just don't get him on any level. The only thing he's done that I've ever found all that funny was when he said he wished Andrew Dice Clay die of stomach cancer from the inside out, like Bette Davis. Kinison's not my cup of tea is what I'm getting at. In Charlie Hoover (GET IT HURF HURF), Kinison is a foot high loudmouth in a long coat that's getting 40-year-old square Tim Matheson where he needs to be in life.

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN: Or... "Betty Spaghetti's Here Which Is All The Star Power You Need!"

HARDBALL: A League Of Their Own had a fun, feel good intro with all the corny touches of ol' timey baseball. Hardball tries to sell you on Joe Rogan: Baseball Fella and the vague scent of urinal troughs.

GOOD GRIEF: Howie Mandel golfs in a cemetery and it's not particularly clear if he's just fucking around on strangers graves for fun. (Alternate Theory: Those graves belong to the family from Bobby's World. All the Generics!)

THE FANELLI BOYS: If enjoy broad Italian-American stereotypes to the point of falling down laughing at the sight of a pizza box, you'll love The Fanelli Boys! Joe Pantoliano and Christopher Meloni both star.

SOMETHING WILDER: Something Wilder was the sort of show where I wished Gene Wilder well and still kept 5000 miles away from watching it. Also, Wilder's face on that house is CHILLING.

DUDLEY: Embrace the luxury hotel elevator elegance of Dudley! Does it feature Dudley Moore make a series of faces where he seems surprised by everything? You better believe it. This was also where Max Wright got work in-between taking abuse from a cat eating alien and Norm Macdonald.

CAROL & COMPANY: It's a bit Carol Takes On in the intro with Carol Burnett in assorted costumes and that's alright because everyone does the assorted costumes intro thing. Tickets to the show are blown across America and get in the hands of whatever Orphan Black Carol happens to be in the area.

THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW: This is an extremely 90s sort of intro that feels like something more upscale soft rock stations did in TV ads at the time too. Richard Kind directs a bit of paper at someone midway through.

DREXELL'S CLASS: One of more storied entries in the Dabney Coleman being an asshole catalogue. The first intro features Dabney, ol' Drex himself, just hanging around in class being hot shit and occasionally mimicking a flying dinosaur. The second intro is a more traditional clip collection highlighted by a young Brittany Murphy (WHO WAS MURDERED! FACT! REMINDER!) and Coleman in a wild 8 ball jacket. Rembrandt off Sliders also makes an appearance.

TEECH: If this intro looks exactly like a sitcom where a Cool Black Music Instructor™ teaches Prep School bad boys in Bush Sr era America that's because it is exactly that sort of sitcom. Maggie Han deserves better.

THE ROYAL FAMILY: It seems extra cruel to take Redd Foxx's popcorn away considering he'd be dead before the fifth episode even aired. Della Reese is in this, die-hard Della fans.

ROC: This intro works perfectly. We get Charles S. Dutton, Ella Joyce and an easy to digest Jerry Lawson theme song. (En Vogue would do the theme later.) It’d be nice if they could get Edgar Allan Poe wagging a finger at seafood or something else in the background to push that Baltimore thing even more, but I still wish this intro from 25+ year old Fox comedy all the best in its future endeavours.

BREWSTER PLACE: Speaking of good intros, Brewster Place is a first rate brand of TV welcome. Brenda Pressley is the MVP of the intro over Oprah Winfrey which might explain why Brenda Pressley has been missing since 1992. (I know she’s on The Path. Just play along.)

SUNDAY BEST: The intro equivalent of getting someone to throw shit at a wall, we get an early 90s NBC grab bag of fuck it whatever shots of TVs and TV dinners with poor Carl Reiner trotted out partway through.

AMERICAN CHRONICLES: Mark Frost and David Lynch paired for a documentary series in the early ‘90s on Fox because Fox was like fucking UHF at the time. The industrial strength creepy opening doesn’t include any shots of narrator Richard Dreyfuss turning towards the camera and that’s a damn shame.

AMERICAN DETECTIVES: If you get horny for stressed out real-life detectives, this will send your undergarments to Mars! Lots of mustaches here. A whole Safeway bag’s worth. Some real rural gas station rock going on with that theme tune.

FBI: THE UNTOLD STORIES: The tone of this entire intro is: “Hey kid, wanna see a dead body? Or twenty?” Creepy music blasting over Jackie Kennedy on the back of JFK’s death limo and Wayne Williams heading to trial equals primetime party fun!

ENCOUNTERS: THE HIDDEN TRUTH: Suck it, Sightings! Encounters is leading a new dawn for crackpot horseshit to eat Bugles to! I appreciate the shameless X-Files knockoff intro thing Fox is doing (cuz it’s their show) that comes complete with head shop blanket alien head popping up midway through.

STEPHEN KING’S GOLDEN YEARS: Essentially Garth Marenghi's Darkplace with one hell of a music rights win tacked on.

TRIBECA: This opening reminds me an awful lot of terrible movies I was bullied into watching on VHS at a friend’s house.

WIOU: One thing I like in a TV intro is when something fun happens with the title onscreen. It’s a minor thing, but the way those WIOU letters turn into view? HOOCHIE MAMA! Eight is Enough’s Dick Van Patten does a fantastic job of conveying that being a weatherfellow is tough work.

GABRIEL’S FIRE: I will never for the life of me understand how the early ‘90s could not sustain a James Earl Jones fronted program titled Gabriel’s Fire. Those worlds are supposed to meld beautifully.

PROS & CONS: Gabriel’s Fire would morph into the more lighthearted Pros & Cons which symbolized its new form by laying it on thick with the Video Toaster touches. Instead of James Earl Jones peering at you from the darkness, this go-around it’s a lot of smiles and silly moments with Richard Crenna.

BURKE’S LAW: Hearing “it’s Burke’s Law” at the start of that intro is like when “Do you smell what The Rock’s cooking?” would play before Dwayne Johnson would wander down a ramp to kick Triple H in the stomach. In this case, it’s to get you fired up that Gene Barry’s back on television. This particular episode promises Dom DeLuise and Tawny Kitaen together at last!

MAX MONROE: LOOSE CANNON: If you only see one intro for a Shadoe Stevens vehicle that transitions from a Donut Hole shot to an extended leer at a lady’s bum, make it this one!

TEQUILA AND BONETTI: The creators of Tequila and Bonetti know that if you want folks to get on board for an L.A. dramedy about a New York cop and streetwise police partner dog, you should kick things off by trying to make you feel sorry for this asshole who “accidentally” murdered a kid. Seriously, that’s the route Tequila and Bonetti goes with this fucking insane opening that begins with newspaper headlines screaming “COP KILLS 12 YR OLD” while he cradles a black girl in her arms and then BOOM! we’re spun around to JACK SCALIA GRINNING AROUND WACKY LOS ANGELES AND ALL ITS CRAZY CHARACTERS LIKE A DOG THAT JUMPS THROUGH A FUCKING WINDOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? THIS IS LIKE IF SOMEONE STROKED OFF THE HANNITY VIEWING AND KEPT WHAT WAS SPURTED OUT ONSCREEN! It’s just a really, really, really bad intro.

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vulpinmusings · 7 years

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Vulpin Reviews - My Hero Academia

I’ve been watching My Hero Academia lately thanks to @canvaswolfdoll (see his review of it here). It’s a new favorite of mine; it’s fun, upbeat, and simultaneously modern while paying loving tribute to western comic book heroes.

I love all of Class 1-A (except Mineta, but almost nobody in-universe puts up with his pervert crap either, so I don’t get hung up on it) because it’s clear that all of them, even Bakugo (waaaay deep down and in need of some serious excavating, but still) are good people who have quickly turned into a big ol’ supportive family. Even during a serious competition like the Sports Fesitval, where all the top-level students declare one another to be targets, the competitiveness is obviously coming from a place of respect for one another’s potential (Bakugo excepted, generally).

I really like Deku as the protagonist. He is granted a Quirk and thus locked out of the “quirkless hero” route, but gaining One for All hasn’t noticeably altered his personality much. He’s a pure-hearted and earnest young man whose real speciality is his analytical mind. The anime makes frequent jokes about Deku’s tendency to devolve into creepy muttering when he’s dealing with new information, but it also shows that that muttering is just a side effect of Deku putting serious effort into analyzing data from all possible angles and devising applications and strategies for various quirks in various situations. The show’s intro declares that My Hero Academia is the story of how Deku becomes the world’s greatest hero; I think that will ultimately have less to do with him mastering One for All at 100% power and more with him becoming the undisputed master of coordinating with other heroes in team-ups for maximum effectiveness and/or being able to select the best possible hero combinations for a given disaster. He’ll be both the Superman (powerhouse and face) and the Batman (organizer and solution-finder) of the MHA world’s Justice League.

Bakugo rightly gets a lot of flak among the fans for his bullying behavior toward Deku as a child. That needs to be openly addressed at some point, but for now I’ll happily enjoy seeing the rest of Class 1A deliberately pushing his buttons and mocking his temper and ego problems. They all seem to have realized quickly that underneath all the flaws, Bakugo legit wants to be a hero and will not make good on his threats to hurt or kill his classmates outside of sanctioned events like the Sports Festival, and even then he... usually holds back on lethal force. Not sure if he was holding back on Deku during that Hero/Villain exercise...

I like Iida for his earnest devotion to rules, propriety, and the heroic ideal, even if does lead him to speaking or acting without thinking on occasion. He could have easily been the stuffy, no-fun Class Rep character type if not for the fact that nobody resents him for his personality.

I’m rather invested in Todoroki’s personal arc, and whether he’ll ever get a chance to sock his old man in the jaw or something like that. Guy deserves it.

I actually feel kinda bad for All Might, and it’s not just because of his... medical problems. It’s more for the fact that he’s clearly out of his depth as a teacher at UA and as personal mentor to Deku. He tries so hard to pass on his knowledge and maintain his image as the Symbol of Peace, but it’s become increasingly clear to me that he’s secretly as much of an awkward dork as Deku, not quite as skilled with live public appearances as the old recordings would lead one to think, and doesn’t have a real teaching bone in his body. Maybe it’s all stemming from an existential crisis.

What I’ve seen of the recurring villains so far... They’re an interesting bunch. They’ve got staying power in both in how their main goal is going to keep bringing them up against heroes-in-training, and in their personalities and hints to complex and troubled histories.

I didn’t intend to go into a full review of my own when I started writing this, but here we are. I like My Hero Academia and I’m going to keep following it for as long as it goes.

#VulpinReviews #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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newyearnewmebitches · 4 years

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7/13/2020, 20:47

I feel like I'm in a bit an emotional rut. a part of me feels really bittersweet and empty leaving my current job, and I think I just want to free write my feelings to see where it’ll take me. so here’s a 30 minute long written rant about my feelings, maybe I'll discover something.

So, I think this starts with my feelings over my unit, and when I first started there. I remember looking at the iCU unit as something that was so tight knit, and I envied the support on that unit. and when I joined, in was so excited to integrate myself, become a strong nurse and to be a role model for new, upcoming people. and obviously, as I started there, faces started coming in and out. the initial year of me being there, was a golden year for me. I loved the people I worked with, there was a nice balance of new nurses and older nurses, and despite a hard night, it felt like we were all in it together. it felt really special. a lot of the days I'd leave at 9AM-10am, and we’d be incredibly short staffed, and although I was burned out, I felt happy to be where I was.

during the past year was when it think I noticed a shift in my mood towards work. a lot of new faces were coming in, and the faces that I've grown with were leaving. and there’s nothing wrong with that, I feel like the demographic and mix of nurses in a unit should always be evolving- cause growth duh. but I think Spuh’s biggest selling point as a hospital is the family appeal and the close-knit units that keep people there- because it’s definitely not the pay lol. I think after getting certified, I felt comfortable to apply to other places, but I still felt too attached to st. peter’s to leave completely.

then this pandemic hit, and I truly started to ... like working again despite the crisis and burnout. but the sense of team work and community on the unit was at an all-time high as our staff, float staff and agency workers joined together for a common cause. it’s was truly inspiring, and I loved the energy, of being there for each other through the loss and wins. I think I definitely ride on the emotional highs and lows way too much that’s just my empathetic soul, aint it?

this next rant is probably a deep dive to say, but working greg, one of our most long lasting agency nurses, is also what kept my morale relatively constant throughout the past year. when I first met him, it’s obvious to say, I had the biggest crush on him. and as I got to work with him, he was just such a reassuring person to work with, that if I needed something in a sense of urgency, he’d have my back. we’d help each other. and it’d be seamless. I didn’t need to ask. he’d always check on me. I'd check on him, and the energy just felt so reciprocated. he’d teach me things, we’d talk. and wow, he’s just such a good person. he’s taken, but even with that, it didn’t deter me. he’s just a person I haven’t encountered in a long time- and I think he’s truly rare- someone who’s just so selfless despite having a strong back bone, strong, kind, polite and overwhelmingly helpful and confident. he was such a joy to work with and every shift I was with him I knew we’d make it. we’re not fully friends outside the work environment- which is fine. I view him as the highest level of work support, and it’s this kind of cocmoradery that it think I need to keep me going onward. he's just such a precious soul, and I've never heard anyone speak ill of him. 2 nights ago was his last shift, and although I am also leaving, it's bittersweet acknowledging that this is our last shift working together. truly, such a great guy. and I wish him the best, as well as hoping we stay in touch.

I think I started finally fully realizing how toxic the culture at work was starting to get as I was leaving and over the past couple months. I think I shoved it off my shoulder most the times, but I think now it’s starting to get me. which is why leaving now, and realizing that, feels so bittersweet.

I'm overly friendly, and have become quite friendly with the residents. well some of them. and I guess at times, it’s overcedes the air if professionalism we need to maintain at work. and you know what, that’s absolutely true. residents come to Icu on days they’re not on the schedule to hang out, talking pictures at work, laughing loud at night. yeah, it’s a good time working. but retrospective, if I had a loved one at work and I noticed it, I'd be upset that my loved one was being taken care of in that kind environment. it take balance to be friends but also stay profesisonal- and that IMPORTANT. we’re care givers. we’re taking care of people in their most critical time, although not everyone is active dying and are “sick stable”, and there might not be anything to do, we need to keep a professional face for the respect of our patients and the face of our career. I guess with that intro delves with the upcoming and me recognizing I'm at fault.

during the past few months, rose has been telling me, “behave at night, people are watching you.” and she was vague and I was just like how? who? what did I do? she wasn’t very specific. one night I posted a story on my IG of casidhe doing a split, and someone approached her the next day saying, “be careful of what you post on the internet, there are people watching you.” I asked her who, and she said it was Amy. so from there, I blocked Amy. although we were friends, I didn’t need someone to watch my stories and cause a fuss. I started to talk about it on nights, saying yeah. with rose saying, people are watching you, I figured Amy was one of day-shift Karens that killed wholesome fun, that wasn’t really impeding my credibility as nurse by something so miniscule. then covid hit and one shift where me and Dominique had time to drink water, I posted a silly 30 sec. but of us chugging water as a challenge, since we wear our masked the entire time. and you know at this point, people were MAKING TIKTOKS at work. it’s not like posting on social media * as long as it doesn’t violate hippa- there should be no problem. the next day, Ashlyn posted the same thing. and Dom told me, and I thought they were mocking us. so I posted it again with her captioned “the OGs”.

--- this back story delves into a confrontation I received at 3AM on a night I was working from Amy. where she goes, “I'm refollowing just so you know I blocked you because I heard you were talking shit.” and that specifically is accurate- because of what she said to casidhe, and all was saying was along the lines of how she was watching my story. she continued to bring up how she was being petty and I also admitted I was being petty. and she said she didn’t understand why it was like this because she thought we’d have each other backs. she said for example, there were so many things I've done as a nurse that she could’ve verged that she didn’t. that’s what got in my fucking head. because I validate myself the most by being a good nurse. at the end of this 3AM confrontation we agreed to a truce.

nights later at work, her comment on the the verge-abie things got to me head, since I'm embarking on a new job. I questioned if I was a good nurse, if I had what it took and if I was just too overly confident in myself. I started feeling like the unit that I had been a part of for 3 years that was my “home” was being fake to me, and that no one was ever transparent with me. and that’s when I got upset and started speaking to other night nurses. my new anm Natalie, mentioned this was harassment and bullying and that I should talk with my manager about it. truly I felt scared confronting about Amy because she’s such a credible nurse, and I always respected her as a nurse. that no one would take my aside, understand or empathize. my feelings were literally like, I'm leaving let’s leave it at all that. I'm done with the BS. but still, I felt so unloved by my unit if anything, just extremely expendable. to feel like the place I gave so much of heart too gave no shit back at me, sucked. to feel unsupportive. as a whole. sucked.

I don’t know if it’s just in my head. if I take things to hard. I low key thing about “how would greg handle this?” because he’s just such a strong person as a nurse, and one morning we talked and he mentioned there was a time when he hated nursing and being in a toxic environment got to him- that helped me reframed things. he’s only been here for a year, so even though Spuh is so “close” doesn’t mean I can’t be toxic. I confronted Amy about how her comment made me feel, and she admitted that she was to drunk and regretted making that comment. that felt a little better. but still, I was harassed. I felt sad. I felt upset about work. and truly her comment made me question so much about my job that I had held in such value.

I know I overanalyze things too much, and that’s my down side. but it’s hard to let things to, I think overly caring is what also makes me a good nurse and makes me want to constantly improve, I just need to not take things so personal. and I think that goes hand in hand with feeling to comfortable at Spuh. taking things as professional critiques mistakenly got too personal, thus deeply affecting me. I think being cognizant of that is important. and moving forward take this as a lesson will help me succeed at Mount Sinai.

I will still miss Spuh for what is, and love it for all that it has taught me. especially this. initially it taught me how to be a nurse, and this lesson is teaching me how to have a back bone and stand up for myself. which is a long overdue lesson. even thinking back to when I was bullied when I was younger, I never stood up for myself.i was passive.

I won’t be fucking passive anymore. I need to stand up for myself.

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buttonholedlife · 4 years

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“The amen will always rule!” how Boylan brings breaks & dubstep together…

No genre, no boundaries, no rules, no problem mate… Nomine has set up his stall with clarity and consistency over the years and his label Nomine Sound has established a playfully unpredictable reputation as a result. It leaves no clue as to what style might come next, from Digital’s bassline bully business to the technoid spasm of Cocktail Party Effect, but few releases on the label shed such a bright light on the label’s anarchic low-end spirit as Boylan’s 2 Hours Sleep.

Make that a dark light. 2 Hours Sleep is a stinking cauldron of rough shades and textures. Part dubstep, part grime, part jungle, pretty much all breaks; there’s a hardcore melting pot attitude that runs through the album, ricocheting us off the walls with crusty amens and long-dark-tunnel basslines. Inspired, in part, by seminal jungle label No U-Turn’s sister imprint Saigon and guided by some of the most consistent and prominent voices in grime – RikoDan, FlowDan, Devlin – 2 Hours Sleep sees the Peckham-based Oil Gang affiliate capturing the most visceral aspects of 140 and 160 music and brings it together in a hurly, burly heavyweight sucker punch that fans of any genre in the bass continuum can appreciate. We called up Boylan to find out how it came to life…

This album feels like a big old melting pot. Nomine’s ‘no rules bass’ in full effect…

That’s definitely what I had in mind When Nomine first approached me. It came off the back of the No Cure EP I did for him. The no rules bass thing he pushes is very enticing. I was in the throes of making the Bedlam album with Trends when he asked me for a full album. Me and Trends were exploring the horror stuff so this album was an opportunity to do something completely different. I loved the freedom – you can throw breaks in there, you can go dubsteppy when you like, you can do whatever you like. I’m glad it comes off that way.

You must have gone from one album into the next!?

Well me and Trends had an EP that morphed into an album. I think we were about half-way through it but the Trends album had to finish first before I properly started this one. It was cool; I kept it under my hat a bit which was good, there was no pressure… I didn’t tell anyone I was working on this album for quite a while, which meant no one was asking how the album was going. I just had to write tunes. I didn’t send them to anyone until the Bedlam heat died down. That did its thing and then I could start talking about this.

So when the two albums were both being written, the whole two hours sleep thing was probably pretty relevant…

Haha. That’s a better reason than it is in reality. It did represent the lifestyle for a while. But it actually came from an album called Incoming on Saigon – the No U-Turn sister label – and there’s a tune by Future Forces Inc and Nico called Brain. Right at the start there’s a spoken vocal sample that says ‘two hours sleep, that’s why I look like shit’. That album was truly, truly inspiring for me at the time. It’s such an experimental form of dark new dystopian drum & bass that’s never been far from my mind. So it’s a nod to that more than anything. But I do have a lot of sleepless times. If I’ve got a sound engineering job the next day after a long studio session, for example. But it’s more of a reminder of the old days when I had a full time, do a 12 hour day and then do a four or six hour session, have a kip and go back to work. Life is a better balance now but if you do music you do have to be prepared to do your work on two hours sleep from time to time.

Amen. There’s some powerful MC damage on this album. RikoDan on Suspect especially. When did you start reaching out to them?

Hell yeah! Riko smashed it didn’t he? Oil Gang Simon has been a major help – he was listening to stuff as I was making it and helping me make decisions. Nomine asked if Devlin would be up for it because he knew we’d worked together before but I didn’t have anything I thought would totally suit him. A lot of it is maybe a little darker and harder for his style. Then I knocked up this instrumental and he was all over it.

With Suspect I thought Riko would be best because he’s so versatile – he can jump on a different vibe and smash it and he did. We’d already worked together on a track called Dutty Harry with Trends and I knew he’d smash it. But in terms of who I reached out to first, it was Flowdan. I sent him a beat at 8pm, I went to bed late then woke up at 2pm, checked my phone and he’d text at 9am saying he liked it and would do something. By the time I replied he said he’d have something over in an hour. It was unbelievable. The concept of the tune and the vocal was all there in that rough take. His spoken word verse worked so well. It was different to what you expect from him and I love that. No rules in all directions.

Did you say you’d worked with Devlin before?

Yeah we actually lived in the same place for a little while. We were connected through a sound engineer called Dave Pemberton who works with The Prodigy and had this studio in this massive house we all rented. I was there for years and I’d put together a live act at the time.

A massive house eh? Baller.

Haha yeah. One of the guys in the band’s family had this big mansion in Essex and we were renting it out. It had an indoor pool and all these mad rooms. We went and took it over and over the course of time different people came and went. A guy who produced Devlin’s tunes was there and Devlin lived there for a bit. It was a mad time and I learnt so much. It was my equivalent of going up into the mountain and coming back down as a man. I learnt about recording and engineering. Then I ended up coming back to Peckham, linked up with Oil Gang who I’d been doing mixdowns for. That’s how I moved more into that grime and dubsteppy vibe.

I imagine all that learning could be good for working with MCs?

Maybe. Being a vocalist myself in a band too, I learnt from both sides of the mic. Collaborating isn’t easy. Coming up with ideas in front of people isn’t easy. There’s pressure. So by the time I was back in Peckham, Simon could link me up with people and I could work with them easily. I can either bring lots of music but make sure they have their stamp on it. Or I can come in and work with someone who’s got some strong musical ideas but I can still find a way of putting my own stamp on it. You can get so much out of collaborations, but you do have to compromise and you can’t be shy. It’s an interesting artform. Another think another thing that helped me was recording voiceovers for documentaries. Keeping up to date with voice files, having good management and work flow and good templates. So that’s something I’ve learnt from as well. It’s about being quick and smooth.

Tell you what’s not smooth? Biblical Proportions. What a monster of a tune. It’s almost baroque!

That’s an interesting one actually. The guy I collaborated with was the drummer form that period of time, he was in my live band! He brought round that choir style sound and normally in a situation like that I get an 8 bar loop but we kept building it up and up and up but this took us one session just to get the intro sorted then a few days to do the drop. It was an epic track. These things don’t come round that often. When we finished it there was this feeling like ‘okay if we can keep on at this level we’ll be alright’. Don’t Stop was a turning point for me as well.

Yeah that’s got savage breakbeats too. We’re in a good time for breaks aren’t we?

I hope so. I do feel things have gone back to being a bit rawer. The production standard in drum & bass is unbelievably hard. But, for me, when it’s too over-produced it’s to the music’s detriment. Breaks give that rawness, the amen will always rule. Trying to recreate that with percussion sounds is great but there’s something particular about using those old breaks. That with the solid electronic elements is a great fusion for me. It’s not typical of drum & bass production but I like that feeling. That distortion and graininess and push behind the music.

Amen! Literally. What else do we need to know and what’s coming up next?

The release is up for pre-order and will be ready mid-October. Then more DJ sets, hopefully a tour next year, more music and hopefully some teaching and working with Nomine and Nurve at Education & Bass.

Boylan – 2 Hours Sleep is out on Nomine Sound on October 18

Follow Boylan: Soundcloud / Twitter

This content was originally published here.

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years

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HDWDLN? 11/6- “George Washington on Election Night)

Last night were the midterm elections sweeties! I got to do two sets. It got weird, wild, and wacky in pretty short order. Last time I did comedy on election night Trump won. That show definitely had a heavy air over it, and I was looking forward to that not happening again.

First up was sweet baby Patrick Buhse’s open mic at Mojos. A hipster/dirtpunk haven located near VCU. It is a room that can be tough or fun. I always use the room to try new stuff out. I am very hit or miss in this bad boy.

I get there and get to have a good hang with Buhse. As more and more comics show up I start to notice they’re all of his students. Buhse teaches the intro to standup comedy class at Coalition Theatre. He is in the middle of his second class, and from all accounts he has been doing a great job.

His students seemed eager to do comedy, super positive/supportive, and they actually come out to the open mics. The past standup courses would actually advise the students from doing open mics, which in my opinion flies in the face of doing standup itself since the open mic is the building block to an act. The sets I’ve seen of his students are actually not bad. They’re super good for new comics, and they keep coming out and trying stuff which is always dope.

Buhse ended up having about 20 comics on the show, and at least half were students of his. That is an insane percentage but also super cool. I could tell he is proud of the work he has done, and honestly the scene is better for it. Who knows if these guys/gals will stick with it, who knows if they’ll get super funny, and who knows if this is the art form for them? What I do know is it’s always good to have more comics in the scene. It is also good to have a more supportive and inviting scene. His students are doing both of those things. So congrats Buhse definitely happy for you and proud of you.

I ask to go first so I can hit Fallout afterwards. I go up and do five minutes. It is all still newer stuff I’m trying to figure out. Including two brand new jokes. I started stronger than I ended. I wasn’t feeling super well so I didn’t give 100% selling my jokes which is dumb of me. I closed on a joke about Panera that they hated so I got off on no laughs.

Not a bad set, but definitely not a great set. One of the two brand new things worked and I will continue to work on that this week. I’d give my set a C-. Not a bad open mic set, but with all that new stuff a lot of room to improve.

My big dumb self conscious concern is since so many new comics were there they’re all just going to think I’m terrible. I am working really hard on not caring what comics think of my act, but it is impossible. I work super hard, and I’m trying to build something special, and the last thing I want is all the new comics to wonder who tf this hack is. Oh well that projecting is on me and my fragile self esteem. I’ll continue to work on it, but who knows if I will ever get over it.

I hopped in my car after my set and headed to Fallout. Fallout is such a ridiculous room. It’s a goth/fetish bar downtown, and is usually members only except on certain nights like comedy night. I get there and it is a ghost town. There is like 5 or 6 people at the bar and then several performers. Jesse Jarvis is hosting, and the only other comics there are Ben Braman (runs city dogs open mic and bibliophilia erotica show) and a new comic named George Washington.

The show is starting late as we wait for more people to show up. I shoot the shit with Braman and Jarvis for a while until Jarvis decides to start it. When he goes up to the mic it won’t work. So the next 10 minutes is just the people who work at the bar and Jarvis just trying to make sound come out of a microphone. Literally the only way I think this show could go worse is if I have to yell it at people. Thankfully he gets the mic working and the show is off.

Braman and I move to the front so he doesn’t have to host the show to nobody. Jarvis does his material, and it is funny. Unfortunately no one is really paying attention. The election might have played a part in that, but who knows.

Braman is the first comic up and does a good job. He doesn't do his full 10 minutes, but he does get some laughs on his material. During his set my buddy Rick Williams who I persuaded to come to the show walks in. He can’t believe I bullied him into participating. Then Mu Cuzzo comes in. So now we are up to 5 comics total for this show.

After Braman gets off George Washington tries to walk up and get the mic from Jarvis. Jarvis has to tell him one more person is coming up, and then his turn. This dude has crazy insane/nervous energy. I can tell it is his first time.

Jarvis brings me up and I really don't feel like floundering for fifteen minutes so I go into crowd work. Three people walk in as soon as I get on stage, and I get them to watch. One dude is wearing a sport coat and his name is Jeff. He starts heckling to be a part of the show so I have to shut that down pretty quickly. I hit him with a few good lines and start talking to GW.

I explain to GW that this is comedy baby. This is how you get to the top. You do shows like this. I told him to run far far away, and live his life. He is having fun and it’s a good show. The people at the bar are paying attention and I’m making Jeff laugh.

Jeff grabs my buddy Braman and obviously makes him uncomfortable so I riff on that. I talk about how I can’t wait for Jeff to get arrested for assault while he is heckling. This gets a big laugh so I soldier on.

So now GW starts to chirp in. We are doing some fun crowd work, but then he tries to go in on me. He’s brand new and this is a mistake on his part. I don't brag about much, but I am pretty quick on my feet, and I’m good at crowd work.

So everything he says I have a response for. I can tell this is killing his anxiety, but he just won’t stop. So I keep going as well. Until eventually it stops, and he looks al little upset. After that I quit talking to him because my goal isn’t to piss anyone off.

I talk to another dude who is just on his laptop doing what he called, “a research paper”. Turns out a friend had asked him about an STD and he is doing research on it for his friend. I talk to him about why didn’t his friend just use google.

So the show goes on and I keep this up for a total of fifteen minutes. I have a good set. I’d say for the room it was a B-. I felt good about it even if I didn’t get to do jokes.

GW goes up next and looks nervous af. It is his first time ever doing comedy and he doesn’t say anything for the first 4 minutes. He looks so shook. People start giving him advice. Audience members are telling him to just say something, or pick up his notebook, try, etc. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

I feel so bad, but this is the next level kind of self destruction you don’t get to see often. He then proceeds to aggressively berate the gentleman who was doing research on the std about who he voted for. The guy says the Libertarian and then GW shits on him for wasting his vote. He does not realize this is kind of a huge Libertarian bar. So he gets booed.

He then starts yelling at the dude saying he is taking his aggression out from “the last comic” who came on stage and owned him. He was like, “since he’s not out here now you have to get it.” I raised my hand and I said, “I’m right here. Leave him alone, and talk to me.” He told me to F off, and that he wasn’t talking to me.

GW is completely lost. It is pretty brutal to watch. He keeps saying stuff so we go back in on him. It is all pretty playful, but it seems like he is about to have a panic attack. He says he has nothing to say so I tell him to grab his notebook, and try an actual joke. He tells me he refuses to take my advice just to spite me. Which was the dumbest thing of all time.

He gets off stage and sits next to his brother right next to the stage. He looks like he is in agony. One of the most brutal sets I have ever seen. I wish more people could have witnessed it.

My buddy Rick goes up next. He tries just doing material and some stuff hits. Most doesn’t, but he got some good reactions on a new joke or two. I was glad he came out. He hadn’t done a set in two weeks, and he’s funny enough this early in comedy that I want him to keep doing it. GW tries to go in on him and Rick hits him with, “after that set you don’t have much room to talk George. That one was a doozy. You don’t want me doing crowd work with you, I’m not as good or nearly as funny as Winston so it’s just going to be mean.” All in all a good set for Rick.

Lastly is Mu. Mu has been working on crowd work lately. It’s a skill that I think most people need to work on. It’s a good tool for rooms like this. I probably fall back on it too much, but I do enough open mic sets that I think it balances out.

Mu has a pretty good set. He goes in on GW a bit. GW and him go back and forth and it’s actually a super fun set. Mu made me proud. He will keep getting better at crowd work as long as he keeps doing it. He is getting the confidence and is learning some more of the intricacies of how to really do a killer crowd work set. He ends saying that if he could afford a new mic he’d drop the one on stage and got a big laugh.

All in all it was a dope show. THE BEST PART HAPPENED NEXT! GW actually came over and was super complimentary. He said he loved it, and that he just has a lot of anxiety. He is a genuine and sweet guy that I expect to see at future shows. Honestly I felt so much better after that. Even though he was antagonizing me when I was on stage I did not want to be the reason someone had a shitty night. So it felt good to hear he loved it.

WHAT A FUN SHOW AND HANG! I love comedy. Even when it’s not great it is interesting. I’ve got a show tonight at The Southern in Charlottesville at 8 pm for $5.! It’s Host Battle Election Autopsy! It’s going to be a dandy!! I will talk to you soon. Love you lades/baybees xoxoxoxo

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