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sluttylittlewaste · 1 month

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One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

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I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!”#and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair???#Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

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imagination-confusion · 1 month

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would you guys support me if I made a sudden and out of no where ask blog based on Garten of BanBan but it's a rewrite AU with OCs and making the story with my own personal taste?

...wanna see the two bouncelia and dadadoo kiddos I designed?

royal heirs and Leaps (left) is a royal pain in the butt brat.

I thought about how my rewrite includes mascot children and these two bouncelia/dadadoo children and Little Beak are gonna get so much trauma

Their mom is gone, almost everyone's been naughtified and their siblings turned on them for assisting the player and the rest of stuff.

All of this is subject to change however.

Here is Mx. Parent my player character and her child Junior.

ummm.. what else I got...

My Captain Fiddles redesign I did for fun pirate themed

I think that's about it for today!

#garten of banban #fan redesign #garten of banban ocs #garten of banban rewrite #garten of banban au #would you be interested in an ask blog if I actually made one and put real effort and commitment this time?#not that I didn't put in the last but I just...#it's hard to find drive ya know?#I want to really do it and I want you guys to help me stay accountable for it #please if you can #anyways yeah I'm obsessed with this game because it's terrible but I like it but I don't support the euphoric brothers obviously

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lorei-writes · 2 months

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You know what'd be really cool? A feedback exchange project.

Now, when I say feedback, I do mean feedback -- a commentary on both the weak and the strong points of a given work.

In my experience, nearly all (if not all) fanfic writers are riddled with a certain set of doubts about their own creations. Surely, it is nice to be praised, but... In my opinion, it is also nice to receive information that something could be improved and to be given insight of what possible paths could be chosen. After all, our own perceptions of things can be warped, as we experience the world only as ourselves and are personally attached to what we make.

Hmm... Or maybe that's just me. Oh well.

#rambling #no but really #i considered my vocabulary to be laughably limited for the longest time #ONLY TO BE SET STRAIGHT BY MY FRIENDS (because let's be real their insight on this particular matter is more objective than mine)#tho it's also... really funny that i plagued myself with something that wasn't even real?#and i wouldn't be surprised if that was the case just... generally.#so in a way my inability to be detached from myself has caused me to put effort into improving areas that didn't necessarily need any #further improvements #which also means that the things that could in fact use being worked on were partially overlooked

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bibiana112 · 2 years

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Nonbinary flags color picked from Akane Kurashiki I made on a whim because I realized I could + some free to use icons!

#I didn't put too much effort on the icons like I said real quick and purely on a whim but it still looks kinda nice so if anyone wants them #especially the ztd one this art of her looks so good #and don't complain about me ignoring one of her designs I'm saving that one for later because reasons #reasons is I kind of want to clean it up a bit because the drawing was too small so it'll need an edit but shh #also did you know her dress in 999 is literally blue? the shading is actually purple so it makes you perceive the whole as such #and of course her sleeve colors play with your perception too #I love color theory #wish Aoi ever wore colors. I don't think I can make that blue look like purple #but yeah!#I love my nb headcanons for these two leave me alone <3 #zero escape #akane kurashiki #nonbinary

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theghostofashton · 3 months

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#the genre of posts that's like 'stop being so demanding about people pronouncing foreign names our mouths can't move like that' is just so.#like i'm sorry but this is not a real problem #it truly is not a real problem that people are too mean about wanting their names pronounced correctly #as if that's been a demand forever and not something that's just becoming more of a thing as of the last few years #the default for decades has been putting up w anglicization even when we didn't want it or it butchered our languages #because that's easier and how dare we ask people to put in the effort #so now that people are pushing back and being like no this is how my name is pronounced we end up being told we're demanding #and we're all just assholes looking for ways to be mean to the poor english speakers who can't say them right #we can tell when you're trying and we can tell when you're not and the idea that the former is more common is literally ridiculous #the most regular occurrence for me is people pronouncing my name correctly at first and then suddenly anglicizing it for no reason #they have demonstrated that they can say it correctly. they just choose not to.#that is the default #not to mention poc not being able to pronounce english words correctly or not knowing how to pronounce them get way more shit lol #idk like i am never trying to be mean #i have so much respect for the people who try because most people do not #and it is so endlessly frustrating to see this framed as us being assholes when we're simply tired of putting up with this #sorry i saw a post that made me mad lol #delete later

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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 4 months

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twitter discourse is on another planet right now. there are people bring back the whole "you're not trans if you don't x, y, and z" shit

#the reason why we were trying to establish that the only requirement for being trans is not ID'ing with your AGAB is to avoid -#- hyper analyzing fucking strangers #I fucking technically have done the 'whole 9 yards' aside from bottom surgery and i still am read as a cis girl #and no you can't 'well I don't mean you!' thing to me because there is no tangible way for you to know -#- that Ive had all of this done. i could have been naturally flat chested for all you know #the clothing choices i make are read as feminine *because of the shape of my body* even when theyre technically androgynous #yes even though i had dysphoria this shit did not make me feel secure in my identity as a young trans person #because if i didn't 'put in enough effort' then people would use that as an excuse to misgender me #the only real changes i made pre-transition vs now is surgeries and hormones. the rest is my fashion taste maturing as I aged #a fem tme nonbinary person on tiktok shouldn't have lipsynced to the t-slur. i can agree on that. but we are not bringing this shit back lo

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navree · 1 year

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https://twitter.com/AemondZafiro/status/1615852704525611009?t=6h3Fd91m0qfx8U56XieUXw&s=19

They would do this wouldnt they

They miiiiiiiiight but I just can't see what the point would be? Most of the changes beyond the fundamental backstory change between Rhaenyra and Alicent has mostly been about stuff that was considered "vague" in the Fire&Blood histories, and the battle of Rook's Rest was very well chronicled, seeing as it was a large battle with several important outcomes. This is also predicated on the idea that Rhaenys narratively needs to atone for not killing the Greens, which has never been suggested in either the writing or filmmaking, as well as the fact that Vhagar and Sunfyre being involved is seen as a sort of plothole(?) that this would solve. Not to mention, as someone who has had positive feelings for Rhaenyra and is trying to keep myself neutral on the Blacks even while being pro-Green, this wouldn't make Rhaenyra a more compelling protagonist, it just makes her look kinda dumb if she, a claimant queen and the only member of her faction with any legitimate claim to the throne, gets herself in trouble and needs rescuing by a lesser royal. There's a reason why when kings fought in wars in our world, they still had guards around them to make sure they never came to real harm, not to mention that this got phased out (in England, the last king to die in battle was Richard III in the 1480s, and Henry VIII had to be physically stopped from going into battle and potentially getting himself killed). If Rhaenyra does something stupid and reckless that costs her multiple allies and makes her seem like an idiot, that's not going to endear the audience to her.

(Not to mention, Aegon already has enough motivation to want his revenge on Rhaenyra? Her fight for the throne is what caused the entire war in the first place, which means that if she hadn't done it his brothers and his youngest son wouldn't have died and his beloved Sunfyre wouldn't have been so injured, and it was on Rhaenyra's authority that two thugs broke into his mother's chambers and physically assaulted her, before murdering his very young son in front of his sister/wife and his daughter, that alone is reason enough to want revenge on Rhaenyra and have a determination not just to see her dead but make sure she suffers)

But here's the thing I think the thing most people don't understand is that Rook's Rest shouldn't even really be about the battle itself. For one, it's a blaze of glory for Rhaenys, to show her as how she was meant to be, a battling warrior fighting for her cause, the Queen Who Never Was But Should Have Been. Considering how much the show has shown that everyone around Rhaenys, not just Rhaenys herself, knows she would have been a better ruler, this is the culmination of that, before she dies and gives her side an advantage in Aegon's injuries. For two, it's not about Greens vs Blacks. It needs to be about Aemond and Aegon.

Rook's Rest comes at the end of a period time that saw a) Aegon being the only member of the family to stand by Aemond and publicly support him after Storm's End and b) a serious tragedy being dealt to Aegon because of Aemond's actions. That's why I said here that I wanted Aegon's role in the battle to come as a shock to Aemond and Criston, if not the audience. It's the kind of thing he would do, he is in fact restless and more chaotic than Rhaenyra, and it needs to be a culmination of a severe up and down relationship that has seen Aegon and Aemond at their closest and then at their most distant as Aegon grieves, to say nothing of how he might end up blaming Aemond for Jahaerys's murder. The emotions from the aftermath of the battle should be about Rhaenys dying, because a major character is gone, and Aegon choosing to make the brother he knows is ambitious for the crown to be his regent, and Aemond not seizing that as an opportunity for power but using that to prove himself worthy of the task to the brother who supported him, the brother who blamed him, the brother who saved him. That's the core of it; it's not about Rhaenyra. It needs to be Rhaenys centric and Aegond centric or it's going to look bad and sloppy, and despite the shit I'll give these writers for when I think they've got it wrong, they're not stupid. They know what they're doing for the most part. They don't want to be writing a shallow show, and for the most part they're not, and if they make this change, they're turning what should be a hugely charged moment into something shallow.

And they've also got George as consultant, and they seem to be keeping him fairly involved in the process, so I doubt they'd make such a huge change unless he approved it, which I don't think he will otherwise he would have written it into the original book, which doesn't have Rhaenyra do any sort of fighting. So at the end of the day, yeah they could make that change, but even just looking at it from an objective writing standpoint, I don't see any reason why they would, or how that would better serve anyone except pro-Blacks redditors.

#personal #answered #anonymous #i didn't mean for this to turn into a 'here's why aegon and aemond's relationship needs to get all the emotions in s2' post #but if y'all want me to talk about rook's rest that's what you're getting #i literally have like a shot for shot view in my head of how i want it to go #honestly i can talk about these two all the livelong day but that's for another time #i'm not as into doomcasting re: greens and changes as some other members of our verdant squad #mostly because i'm of the opinion that while they did a lot of bad shit with the greens #they also clearly put so much more effort into developing all of them as characters #than they did with like half of the blacks #that does speak to a certain amount of care and desire to keep them fleshed out and real rather than caricatures #the issues arise mainly from the time jumps and how many they put in and how they chose to handle them #but that's also for another time #so i'm willing to give them leeway especially when it comes to stupid changes #cuz i don't think in the show they changed anything that was basically fact so far #except for aegon's coronation but as stupid as rhaenys was being and the amount of plotholes that put in #it's a good scene for what it does for alicent and aegon so i'm never completely mad at it

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sugared-violets · 2 years

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ugh i'm stuck in this awful limbo where some small part of me is still hoping he'll come back and apologize for everything and love me again even as most of me genuinely wants to never see his face again

#like. he RARELY showed me any real affection but #the good times were really truly good #and im going to be so lonely for the rest of my life #he hurt me and ignored me and made me cry more often than not but he was also the only person i could be completely myself #i told him everything. so many things not one single other person knows about me #and nobody else will ever care to know #he was mean and awful but he let me ramble about whatever i liked and he even claimed to enjoy listening #everyone else ive ever been friends with just calls me talkative #he stole every single one of my firsts and dumped me in the middle of the night without showing a single emotion about it #but i've never slept better than i did in his arms and he's the only person to ever think im attractive #he was going to make a special modpack just for me with all my favorites but he kept putting it off for literally years #honestly he was probably never going to do it #and speaking of which ill never be able to play modded games again because he did all of that for me and i didnt/dont understand it at all #he took so much from me just because he didn't want to put in the effort to love me anymore #dani.txt #vent post #im just. heartbroken. there's rlly no other word for it

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moteldogs · 2 years

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on the one hand I'm the stubbornest person I know. on the other hand as soon as I'm in a relationship I have no idea what I want or how to say no or how to express anything I need

#went out w my girlfriend last night and was pretty buzzed by the time we got home #so soon as I was horizontal in bed I mostly just wanted to sleep. given it was 2 am #but she was kissing me and I will admit I didn't put a lot of effort into kissing back due to being half asleep #and then she started crying which got me awake REAL quick and then it took like ten fucking minutes for her to tell me what was wrong #she felt ignored and rejected and everything so I said I was sorry and started kissing her #but then that upset her too because she didn't want to feel like I was ''forcing myself''' or whatever #which at that point was like. holy jesus just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it and then we can sleep #but we spent like an hour talking about how she needs intimacy and me agreeing that I can do better and her asking if I really agreed or if #I was just saying that and me saying I really agreed and her asking if I was mad at her and me saying I wasn't etc etc etc #we did end up fucking before we went to sleep which weirdly I didn't remember at first in the morning #which I guess makes sense because I was bordering on drunk to start with and then got down a decent amount of whiskey during #that whole conversation. so.#it's just exhausting. like it's not enough to do what she wants I have to be enthusiastic about it the whole time #anyways! enough oversharing on the internet. I need to go sit on the porch #del later

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adore-gregor · 2 years

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#sorry for my lack of posting here #yeah it's my page and i don't need to but i also wanted to #but everything is so much with work and studying #and today was such a bad day #i didn't study enough as i planned and now tomorrow i need to study like double 💀#10 hours of studying or so yay #i feel real bad about myself then and also not like posting because i didn't do my studying first #i just wanted to share some thoughts / text post from my life #also some new gregor pics i discovered because i miss him :( and they're stunning #maybe tomorrow #my tumblr is so boring lately just reblogs i wish i'd put more effort into it again or have the time to #also i still don't really feel my best since the death of my coach #it's better but :(( it feels unreal until i remember and then i get sad again #and also everything is harder without gregor (not that he's literally gone but you know what i mean)#what has been on my mind a lot again i now really wanna get that tattoo #a special tattoo reminding me of him handwritten by him #if you think that's dumb idc but it would mean so much to me #it would be something reminding me that he's always there in my heart (and on my skin lol)#should i really just text him hmm 😅😅#i don't know how to do this but i might just text him #and you know the fanpage i have for him on instagram i need to finally make a post abt his career end #i couldn't bring myself to make one but i feel like such post would be a good chance to thank him for everything again and honor his career #(well i did that in a comment but still)

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callmesunny04 · 1 month

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I honestly can not fucking BELIEVE that Tumblr HAD THE GUTS to show me ai "art" on the For You tab. How dare they suggest that I would enjoy ai "art". I am truly disgusted.

#Anyone calling themselves an ai “artist” dni #I fucking hate ai “art” so much #I had posted few things I'd drawn jere because I wanted to share my art #but I deleted them because I didn't like the though of someone liking it and feeding it to a fucking machine #As a real artist (someone who puts actually effort into art) I have a personal hatred towards ai “artists”#It's not art it's theft #They're not artists #they're thieves #I am rambling but I am right #Sunny talks #Sunny rants #artblr

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honeycordials · 3 months

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it turns out that I'm not this horrible manipulative person who's angry all the time ive just been told that my entire life whenever I didn't give someone what they wanted.

#more shocking revelations to come as i finally put REAL effort into processing my trauma #my parents love to talk about how awful i was as a kid #how i was manipulative angry and violent and i never thought of anyone but myself #and i genuinely believed that because no one ever told me any different #i believed that i needed to work hard and sacrifice as much as i can for the people i love in order to make up for them enduring me #now that ive surrounded myself with kind and gentle people #im not angry all the time #disagreements are conversations and even if they get a little emotional sometimes we're not fighting #looking back i don't think its a coincidence that those same insults were hurled towards me when i decided to end a friendship #at the time i took it as proof that my parents and my ex were right #i WAS that horrible person and it didn't matter what i did i could never make up for that #it caused me to relapse into self harm after it had been YEARS since id done that #but ive since come to realize that the actual common denominator in all of the situations where ive been called those things #is when i wasn't doing what the person saying them wanted me to #these were words said to hurt me #to get me to either give in and give them what they wanted or punish myself on their behalf #coming to that conclusion has made a world of difference #this shit is still hard and im still carrying these beliefs about myself around with me #but every day it gets easier to put those down and recognize who i REALLY am #and who i really am is pretty great #personal #self harm mention #tw self harm #tw child abuse #self harm #child abuse #child abuse mention #wanted to cover all my bases with tws #though i don't really expect anyone else to actually read all my tags lol

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ms-demeanor · 6 months

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Why reblog machine-generated art?

When I was ten years old I took a photography class where we developed black and white photos by projecting light on papers bathed in chemicals. If we wanted to change something in the image, we had to go through a gradual, arduous process called dodging and burning.

When I was fifteen years old I used photoshop for the first time, and I remember clicking on the clone tool or the blur tool and feeling like I was cheating.

When I was twenty eight I got my first smartphone. The phone could edit photos. A few taps with my thumb were enough to apply filters and change contrast and even spot correct. I was holding in my hand something more powerful than the huge light machines I'd first used to edit images.

When I was thirty six, just a few weeks ago, I took a photo class that used Lightroom Classic and again, it felt like cheating. It made me really understand how much the color profiles of popular web images I'd been seeing for years had been pumped and tweaked and layered with local edits to make something that, to my eyes, didn't much resemble photography. To me, photography is light on paper. It's what you capture in the lens. It's not automatic skin smoothing and a local filter to boost the sky. This reminded me a lot more of the photomanipulations my friend used to make on deviantart; layered things with unnatural colors that put wings on buildings or turned an eye into a swimming pool. It didn't remake the images to that extent, obviously, but it tipped into the uncanny valley. More real than real, more saturated more sharp and more present than the actual world my lens saw. And that was before I found the AI assisted filters and the tool that would identify the whole sky for you, picking pieces of it out from between leaves.

You know, it's funny, when people talk about artists who might lose their jobs to AI they don't talk about the people who have already had to move on from their photo editing work because of technology. You used to be able to get paid for basic photo manipulation, you know? If you were quick with a lasso or skilled with masks you could get a pretty decent chunk of change by pulling subjects out of backgrounds for family holiday cards or isolating the pies on the menu for a mom and pop. Not a lot, but enough to help. But, of course, you can just do that on your phone now. There's no need to pay a human for it, even if they might do a better job or be more considerate toward the aesthetic of an image.

And they certainly don't talk about all the development labs that went away, or the way that you could have trained to be a studio photographer if you wanted to take good photos of your family to hang on the walls and that digital photography allowed in a parade of amateurs who can make dozens of iterations of the same bad photo until they hit on a good one by sheer volume and luck; if you want to be a good photographer everyone can do that why didn't you train for it and spend a long time taking photos on film and being okay with bad photography don't you know that digital photography drove thousands of people out of their jobs.

My dad told me that he plays with AI the other day. He hosts a movie podcast and he puts up thumbnails for the downloads. In the past, he'd just take a screengrab from the film. Now he tells the Bing AI to make him little vignettes. A cowboy running away from a rhino, a dragon arm-wrestling a teddy bear. That kind of thing. Usually based on a joke that was made on the show, or about the subject of the film and an interest of the guest.

People talk about "well AI art doesn't allow people to create things, people were already able to create things, if they wanted to create things they should learn to create things." Not everyone wants to make good art that's creative. Even fewer people want to put the effort into making bad art for something that they aren't passionate about. Some people want filler to go on the cover of their youtube video. My dad isn't going to learn to draw, and as the person who he used to ask to photoshop him as Ant-Man because he certainly couldn't pay anyone for that kind of thing, I think this is a great use case for AI art. This senior citizen isn't going to start cartooning and at two recordings a week with a one-day editing turnaround he doesn't even really have the time for something like a Fiverr commission. This is a great use of AI art, actually.

I also know an artist who is going Hog Fucking Wild creating AI art of their blorbos. They're genuinely an incredibly talented artist who happens to want to see their niche interest represented visually without having to draw it all themself. They're posting the funny and good results to a small circle of mutuals on socials with clear information about the source of the images; they aren't trying to sell any of the images, they're basically using them as inserts for custom memes. Who is harmed by this person saying "i would like to see my blorbo lasciviously eating an ice cream cone in the is this a pigeon meme"?

The way I use machine-generated art, as an artist, is to proof things. Can I get an explosion to look like this. What would a wall of dead computer monitors look like. Would a ballerina leaping over the grand canyon look cool? Sometimes I use AI art to generate copyright free objects that I can snip for a collage. A lot of the time I use it to generate ideas. I start naming random things and seeing what it shows me and I start getting inspired. I can ask CrAIon for pose reference, I can ask it to show me the interior of spaces from a specific angle.

I profoundly dislike the antipathy that tumblr has for AI art. I understand if people don't want their art used in training pools. I understand if people don't want AI trained on their art to mimic their style. You should absolutely use those tools that poison datasets if you don't want your art included in AI training. I think that's an incredibly appropriate action to take as an artist who doesn't want AI learning from your work.

However I'm pretty fucking aggressively opposed to copyright and most of the "solid" arguments against AI art come down to "the AIs viewed and learned from people's copyrighted artwork and therefore AI is theft rather than fair use" and that's a losing argument for me. In. Like. A lot of ways. Primarily because it is saying that not only is copying someone's art theft, it is saying that looking at and learning from someone's art can be defined as theft rather than fair use.

Also because it's just patently untrue.

But that doesn't really answer your question. Why reblog machine-generated art? Because I liked that piece of art.

It was made by a machine that had looked at billions of images - some copyrighted, some not, some new, some old, some interesting, many boring - and guided by a human and I liked it. It was pretty. It communicated something to me. I looked at an image a machine made - an artificial picture, a total construct, something with no intrinsic meaning - and I felt a sense of quiet and loss and nostalgia. I looked at a collection of automatically arranged pixels and tasted salt and smelled the humidity in the air.

I liked it.

I don't think that all AI art is ugly. I don't think that AI art is all soulless (i actually think that 'having soul' is a bizarre descriptor for art and that lacking soul is an equally bizarre criticism). I don't think that AI art is bad for artists. I think the problem that people have with AI art is capitalism and I don't think that's a problem that can really be laid at the feet of people curating an aesthetic AI art blog on tumblr.

Machine learning isn't the fucking problem the problem is massive corporations have been trying hard not to pay artists for as long as massive corporations have existed (isn't that a b-plot in the shape of water? the neighbor who draws ads gets pushed out of his job by product photography? did you know that as recently as ten years ago NewEgg had in-house photographers who would take pictures of the products so users wouldn't have to rely on the manufacturer photos? I want you to guess what killed that job and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't AI)

Am I putting a human out of a job because I reblogged an AI-generated "photo" of curtains waving in the pale green waters of an imaginary beach? Who would have taken this photo of a place that doesn't exist? Who would have painted this hypersurrealistic image? What meaning would it have had if they had painted it or would it have just been for the aesthetic? Would someone have paid for it or would it be like so many of the things that artists on this site have spent dozens of hours on only to get no attention or value for their work?

My worst ratio of hours to notes is an 8-page hand-drawn detailed ink comic about getting assaulted at a concert and the complicated feelings that evoked that took me weeks of daily drawing after work with something like 54 notes after 8 years; should I be offended if something generated from a prompt has more notes than me? What does that actually get the blogger? Clout? I believe someone said that popularity on tumblr gets you one thing and that is yelled at.

What do you get out of this? Are you helping artists right now? You're helping me, and I'm an artist. I've wanted to unload this opinion for a while because I'm sick of the argument that all Real Artists think AI is bullshit. I'm a Real Artist. I've been paid for Real Art. I've been commissioned as an artist.

And I find a hell of a lot of AI art a lot more interesting than I find human-generated corporate art or Thomas Kincaid (but then, I repeat myself).

There are plenty of people who don't like AI art and don't want to interact with it. I am not one of those people. I thought the gay sex cats were funny and looked good and that shitposting is the ideal use of a machine image generation: to make uncopyrightable images to laugh at.

I think that tumblr has decided to take a principled stand against something that most people making the argument don't understand. I think tumblr's loathing for AI has, generally speaking, thrown weight behind a bunch of ideas that I think are going to be incredibly harmful *to artists specifically* in the long run.

Anyway. If you hate AI art and you don't want to interact with people who interact with it, block me.

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chuluoyi · 4 months

Text

LOVER'S QUARREL

- fushiguro megumi x reader

“i can't do this anymore.” you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.

genre: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)

note: dear god i’m finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events i’ve seen around my friend’s relationship sooo it might hurt a bit 🤏🏻 but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.

And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumi’s sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.

But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldn’t help but do a double-take.

You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.

You never realized it before… that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.

So how dare he spout this now?

“I can't do this anymore.”

"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"

"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."

This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.

You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"

"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."

Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.

Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.

"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really want—"

Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's better—"

"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunches—everything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"

In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.

And yet...

"...I'm sorry."

Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.

And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."

As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.

Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."

You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful manner—which, indeed, was your intention—and then you ran.

Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.

Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.

"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.

"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."

"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"

"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."

"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."

. . .

"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.

Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. “This is for the best.”

Yuji’s eyebrows visibly creased. “How is this ‘for the best’? She’s miserable, and you…” he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, “it doesn’t seem you’re faring any better too.”

“The longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.” Megumi glanced at the bathroom’s direction. “She can deserve better.”

He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldn’t fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.

Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, but…

How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?

Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.

With Hakari.

“Yo, what are you glaring at?” Panda asked, but Megumi didn’t pay him any mind.

An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have fun—all in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.

Three weeks. It’s only been three weeks since then.

“Megumi?”

Wait… Aren’t three weeks too fast to get over your ex?

“Megumi!”

“Huh?” he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. “Oh, what is it?”

He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."

But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.

"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but you—"

"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.

From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.

...huh?

Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?

What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.

Suddenly these memories popped up one by one—

Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.

How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.

How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.

But on harder days after missions gone wrong, he’d ignore you altogether— the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.

“Haaaah.” Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadn’t it occurred to him before now?

Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?

They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.

What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?

You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!

You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...

"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.

You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."

This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memories—okay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?

Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.

"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.

Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."

You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.

Stay close, he said... So he is worried...

And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.

You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"

"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.

"You two seem close."

Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?

Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"

In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.

You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?

"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.

Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.

But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"

Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.

For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.

Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.

And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"

"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"

He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.

You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"

"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.

"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.

"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What abo—"

Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcised—

At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.

He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere and—

Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.

You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffled—the frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.

Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feet—falling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.

And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.

"You stupid—!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake up—hells—"

You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself first—and now facing the consequences.

It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.

"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."

Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your blood—and how lifeless you felt in his grasp—but he willed it away.

"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.

"Don't leave me."

It was like a distant, hazy memory.

Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.

The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.

You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.

Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.

Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.

Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...

You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."

When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.

"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minor—it's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."

You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.

“Why did you do that?” he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.

He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.

"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.

However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."

...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?

"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."

"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'm—"

"If it's because I saved you, Megumi—"

“Do not even think, even for a moment, that I won’t be concerned over you.” His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. “Never. I always, always want you to be safe.”

Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.

"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be here—" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "—for you?"

You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within you—stemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.

You dumbly uttered, "But we are—"

"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.

He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."

And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, and—damn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."

Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."

And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.

“I'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,” he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. “And I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.”

A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.

But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."

And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.

"Maybe I am, yeah."

"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."

"Yeah..."

But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.

On one sunny day...

"Hey, are you alone?"

Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.

"No. Can I help you?"

The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cute—"

The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind when—

Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongue—that accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.

"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."

Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.

"Megumi!"

Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside him—

He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.

"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"

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