Tumgik
#he was mean and awful but he let me ramble about whatever i liked and he even claimed to enjoy listening
sugared-violets · 2 years
Text
ugh i'm stuck in this awful limbo where some small part of me is still hoping he'll come back and apologize for everything and love me again even as most of me genuinely wants to never see his face again
6 notes · View notes
kombuuuu · 11 months
Text
Miles 42 headcanons?
no one asked but i’ll deliver !!
Miles!42 x Fem!Reader random headcanons
also a lot of snippets :)
You/Reader: Blue
Miles Morales: Purple
Mama Rio/Rio Morales: Pink
Uncle Aaron/Aaron Morales: Orange
Random/stranger: Black
gift giving love language duhhh
Will have you walk with him through malls and whatever you look at for a second too long he buys
You don’t catch on until you’re both eating at a nice restaurant, absentmindedly staring at some plant when a lull in conversation happens.
He purchases the plant.
“Fuck you mean I can’t buy it?”
“Sir, the plants aren’t for sale, this is a dining establishment.”
“Establish the fact I’m gettin’ that plant.”
“Sir—“
50 bucks down and a plant 🆙
He will damn right die if you refuse him. He’ll get all grumpy and pouty when you say he should save for a house, not for you.
convinced you just get shy when bought things (you do).
is even more motivated to buy things
“Miles, baby, you need to save up. Not spend on me!”
“This would look so good on you, Ma.”
“Are you listening??”
“Fuck, and this.”
“Oh my god.”
gets so jealous it’s unbelievable
but only when someone goes too far with you
it’s like 1–100 real quick
he’s not usually the prowling type (ha)
but when someone pushes the line he loses his shit
other than that he’s a supportive bbg all the way
“Wanna go home with me, butterface?”
“Fuck you just say?”
“Nothing homie just get outta here.”
“Say that shit again ‘homie’.”
“Chill the fuck out. Let the lady speak for herself.”
“I’ll fucking speak for my girl all I want, homeboy.”
maybe got a liiiiittle bit of an anger issue
guy went home with a broken nose and a missing tooth
better hope he can afford fill ins
he would never get mad at you though
he gets frustrated you don’t listen sometimes, but it’s never to the point of anger
feel like he has the patience of a fucking SAINT
calm and collected baby u know the deal
“Mami, we gonna have a problem?”
“”
“Didn’t think so.”
a SWEETHEART at times
stand by him being raised right
mama rio taught him to be a romantic
wanted him to take after his dad
so flowers and gifts and chocolates
followed by lovin of any kind
probably a baby for affection but doesn’t show it
so when you get all emotional about being gifted roses for the first time
and hug him and smother him
give him stupid little kisses all over
he’s fainting
poor boy doesn’t know love like u show him
“Baby, are these for me?”
“Yeah, Chiquita. They okay?”
“Wh… They’re perfect.”
“Are you cryin’? I can return ‘em.”
“No! No, no, don’t do that.
I love them, C’mere.”
when you guys get rlly comfortable, like a year and some dating, he ends up getting more chatty
willingly talking w you for hours
feels like you’re the only person he can rlly do that with
rambles so rarely that you kind of just sit in awe when it happens
doesn’t catch himself until he’s trying to name your future kids
“I’ll marry you one day, we’ll have like two, three kids. Get all nice an cozy.
You want a boy or girl? I kinda want both. Definitely not girl first, never having a girl without a brother to protect ‘er.
You’d be such a good Mami.
What’d you wan’ name ‘em? I have a few ideas—“
“..”
“But you could choose the girl cause I don’t know any pretty names. And i’ll choose—“
“..”
“..”
“You gon’ let me keep goin?”
“I love your voice.”
“Tranquila, mami.”
Takes you to every family event he ever has
sits you regularly with Rio and Aaron
they insist you call them uncle and ma
you do, obviously
miles doesn’t need to meet your family if you don’t want him to, but if he ever does he’s totally suave with them
like weirdly smooth
able to get on ur carers good side quick
when you meet his extended family they’re just as loving
his whole family is this bright dash of colour
and you fit right the fuck in
“¡Oh, hija estás preciosa!”
“Dice la estrella de la fiesta!”
“You flatter me, Hija.”
“Miles, come get your girl.”
“You look nice too, Uncle Aaron.”
“..Thanks, kid.”
“Hey Mami, havin’ fun?”
“Aight, I’m out.”
when you find out he’s the prowler you’re not really shocked
he’s hella nervous to tell you and kinda puts it off for a while
as long as you’re not in harms way, nothin matters, yeah?
no
the guilt eats him alive
he’s already lost so much, if he doesn’t do things right with you, then loses you too
he’d probably lose himself
so he tells you
“The Prowler?”
“Yeah.”
“The.. Panther guy I keep seeing on the news-?”
“Mm.”
“Miles are you—
..—Are you killing people?”
“Mami, it’s not like that—“
“oh my god.”
“These men— I kill,”
“Oh my god, oh my god.”
“,They’re bad, you understand.”
“Miles..”
“[Name]. Do you understand?”
“Yeah.. Yeah I understand.”
“You can’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.”
“…”
“Are you mad.”
“I’m not happy.”
“Okay.”
you’re kind of devastated he’s killing people
but you eventually get it
like it takes a while
say a month or so
but you forgive quick
i mean, who knows what those men are doing, right?
(ur delulu but it’s ok)
he lets you have your space but talking with mama rio when she realises your absence knocks some sense into him
mans is going to GROVEL
he will fucking beg on his damn knees
knocks on your door and is already kneeling
will plead with you to come back to him
like i said a whole ass romantic
you know what’s romantic? a man who can get on his knees
he will suffocate you in gifts and affection
oh you like (insert sanrio esc character) ? look over there at that lifesize plushie woahhhh wonder who that’s forrrrrr
“Hello?”
“Mami, don’t close the door.”
“Miles, go home.”
“And please stop kneeling, the floor is dirty.”
“I’m not leaving ‘til you hear me out.”
looooong sigh
“Okay, fine— whatever, come inside. You have two minutes.”
“God, I missed you. You’re so beautiful Chiquita.”
“Three minutes.”
You talk it out easy, he’s a real smooth talker when he wants to be
“Okay Miles, I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?”
“Yeah, Ma. See you soon.”
“Wh—.. What is that?”
“Ohhh…”
“Why the fuck is it so big?”
“It said “Life Size” on the site? I was thinking like two feet tall.”
“You bought that?”
“Yeah.. I was thinkin’ you wouldn’t let me in. Would have to bribe you.”
“…That’s really cute.”
Annnnnd that’s all i can come up with i’ll probably do more later :P
5K notes · View notes
voltronisanobsession · 7 months
Text
A small teen wolf thought I had
I’m really missing season 1 Stiles, so let’s imagine him having a crush on reader😍
Tumblr media
We all know how Stiles had an enormous crush on Lydia, it was absolutely devastating tbh. Like this dude was lowkey devoted to her💀💀
So what if a new student (reader) moved into town and it’s love at first sight for him. He’d bump into you after rambling to Scott about whatever was on his mind and knocks your binder and books to the ground.
Helping you pick up your stuff, right when he’s giving you your notebook, he’d look up and just. Stare. Cuz ZOOWEEMAMA YOURE ABSOLUTELY STUNNING IN HIS EYES
You’re busy thanking him and apologizing for the collision, waiting for him to let go of the notebook, voice slowly fading out when you notice him just staring at you with his mouth slightly open.
“Thanks for helping me. Can I have my book?”
“Uh huh.”
“…”
“…”
“Stiles, you know you have to let go of the notebook.” Scott is trying his best not to slam his head in a locker when his friend still doesn’t let go LMAO
Your chuckle snaps him out of whatever daze he was in, causing him to blush and apologize awkwardly. You’d smile at him and in good nature, joke about it and walk away, leaving him in awe.
Most people would normally give him the stink eye, but seeing how you joked about it made his heart flutter a bit.
Everything is HISTORY after that. If you have any classes with Stiles, you already KNOW he’s gonna try and sit as close to you as possible. Teacher assigns partner or group projects? He’s springing out of his seat and going to you first. You both have the same lunch period? He’s inviting you to sit with him and his friends. You’re having trouble with a certain class? Man, he’s already offering to help you after school, you’ll nail that test with flying colors!
You just get him! You like his sarcasm and MIRACULOUSLY understand his random references from movies and video games! With all the time you guys spend together, his crush on you grows more and more.
You appreciate how Stiles is so interested in the things you like and dislike. You love how he asks why you enjoy a certain movie despite the terrible reviews it got. Why you dislike an artist he just began listening to. You both love the same things, but have different opinions on everything, every conversation flows so naturally with him that you can’t help but develop a crush on him too.
You’ve never met anyone as eccentric and energetic as him, he never fails to bring a smile to your face teehee
Stiles is the type to remember every little, seemingly insignificant, thing about his crush. When your birthday rolls around, this dude has so many gifts ready😭 a warm feeling fills you when you open one gift to see it’s an item you’ve mentioned in a passing convo yall had MONTHS ago
He’s so sweet and kind with you too like don’t get me started. Stiles just enjoys being around you and seeing you happy makes him happy. SEASON 1 STILES IS THE DEFINITION OF PUPPY LOVE LIKE UGGHH
Takes you out on late night drives, barges into your room through the window with any takeout food you’ve been craving. Hed even take you out on a mini ‘date’ to the local arcade!!! his dad sees how much you mean to his son and is super happy that Stiles is happy. Loves when you come over to study with him, he’s always telling you stories about when stiles was younger (he would definitely cover your ears with his hands and speak loudly over his dad LMAO)
I’m telling y’all, stiles having a crush on you is the cutest thing ever, especially if you reciprocate his feelings!!!When you guys get together, cuz it’s not a matter of if with his friends, you’re the ultimate duo.
He’d confess his feelings for you in the most cheesiest way ever, probably during or after a school dance cuz why not.
UGH I NEED TO WRITE MORE STILES STUFF I LIVE HIM SM‼️ HE WAS NEVER THE SAME AFTER SEASON 3😭😭😭
2K notes · View notes
treasureofmammon · 11 days
Text
🍽 Petty revenge dinner 🍽
Tumblr media
🔎Summary: The seven brothers, your roommates, were fighting for you. After hearing the reasons, it angers you. You're a person who decides for themself, so why are they arguing about you as if you were a mere object?
👥️Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, MC. (Solomon, Simeon, Luke, Raphael, and Thirteen mentioned).
⚠️Warnings: Objectification (is that the word in English?), yelling and anger. Petty revenge revolving around food, (but not related to food poisoning or something f*cked up, just bad taste). This is supposed to be kind of funny and light-hearted.
📝 Note: No favorites on this one, the seven brothers are treated equally. I guess, it's implied this MC is in love with the seven of them [I think I'd be similar, although Mammon is my favorite, I'd have a crush on them all. But if Mammon asked me for exclusivity (monogamous relationship), I'd drop EVERYTHING for that man!!]. I also did some small research on the brothers likes and dislikes on food, but some are made up (you all will see why once you read the text). - For this one, I got inspired in that scene in Aladdin where he, Jasmin's father and Jafar argue about who she should marry; all of them failing to see that the most crucial thing is that she has a right to chose. In a way, that's objetification. She quickly forgives her father and Aladdin, though; as long as they understand. Hopefully that was a lesson learned for these men. So it made me think on how the Demon bros have this posesive nature towards MC sometimes, they too needed to learn a lesson.
✨️💖❤️✨️💖💚✨️💖💛✨️💖💙✨️💖🧡✨️💖💜✨️
As usual, chaos reigns the House of Lamentation. This time, it began when you said "I can't, I'm sorry".
One by one all of the brothers came to you today to ask you on a date to spend some quality time, alone. However, when you said that you can't, each of them had a similar reaction:
—H-Hey, MC? Would you... like to play videogames with me before dinner?—, Levi asked you in the morning, flustered and visibly embarrassed.
—I can't, Levi. I'm sorry—, you answered, with a sad expression on your face. You tried to explain yourself —You see, today I'm- —. But before you finished, Levi interrupted you, completely disappointed: —Oh. I guess I sort of expected this. I knew it. After all, I am just a yucky otaku who...—, babbling and whispering self-loatheling things, he left. Confused, you tried to follow him; nonetheless, as you checked the hour, you realized that it's quite late for class. You felt stressed but ended up deciding to go to class and explained him later; anyway, he would understand once dinner time arrived.
As you walked through the classroom's threshold, Beel stopped you: —Hey MC! I was wondering...—, he stuttered, —W-Would you like to go with me to Hell's kitchen before dinner? I have some good "all you can eat" coupons that Mammon gave me—.
Your facial expression turned into a sad one. Once again, you answered: —I'm sorry, Beel. I can't today. You see, I'm- —. Beel interrupted you with an audible —Aw—, dissatisfied. He continues: —I see, so it's not me—. —What do you mean?—, you asked. But before Beel could talk, the bell rang, and you had no choice but to enter the classroom. It's okay. You were sure he would understand later today, just like Levi.
As you took your seat and got your notebook and pen out of your cute bag, Asmo sat on your desk. —Hey there gorgeous— he said, —Would like to come with me to Majolish before dinner? I'll buy you whatever you want—.
—Oh, Asmo, thanks. But I can't. Today I'm-—.
Asmo didn't let you finish and took his leave inmediately —Unbelievable! It's not ME!—. He sat, rambling in whispers, visibly upset.
Satan, who usually sits behind you, tapped at your shoulder. He had a wide smile and you wondered if something good might have happened to him; whatever it is, you were glad that it did. —Hey, MC. There's a small art gallery that just opened. Would like to go there with me before dinner?—.
You sighed. —I'm sorry, Satan. I can't. Today is the day that I'm- —. Before you could continue, the teacher entered the class and greeted everyone. —I'll tell you later— you said to Satan before turning around. His smile was a frown, though.
—What in hell is wrong?—, you thought, as half of your roommates pouted, upset. You brush it off as the class finished. Nonetheless, Belphie came to you too, still drowsy after his "class nap," as he calls it.
—Hey there, MC. Do you have plans after class? There's a meteor that will cross the Devildom sky. Do you wanna see it in the house planetarium with me? It'll be before dinner, I promise—.
You sighed again, —Oh, Belphie. I can't today. I'm the one-—. You stayed silent when you noticed Belphegor's mood.
—I see— he said, —Maybe some other time— he finished, rushing out of class.
—Belphie! Wait!—, you called, as you run after him to no avail, even the Avatar of Sloth is faster than a plain simple human. You wondered if it's just your imagination that each of your beautiful demons is inviting you on dates exactly when you can't.
As you walk out of RAD, sad and disappointed, Mammon was waiting for you in the school's entry as usual. He noticed your mood and immediately asked: —Hey, what's wrong?—.
—Everyone has been inviting me to do stuff before dinner, and I had to reject them all. It makes me feel so sad—.
Mammon smiled, and you frowned to his smooth grin. —Is that so?—, he said, —well, I just happened to listen to somethin' pretty interestin'. Hey, why doncha 'n me go for a drive before dinner then?—.
—What? That's the whole point, Mammon. I can't, I'm sorry. I'm-—.
Mammon froze but immediately sighed. —Say nothin', you don't have to explain yourself—. He pouted and started walking back home without even looking at you —Come on, let's go home—, he shrugged. As you walked behind Mammon, you sighed unhappy, looking at your shoes with every step back home.
Once you arrived, Lucifer took notice of your emotional state, as well. —Are you okay?—, he asked.
—Yeah...— you replied, sighing, not wanting to explain yourself again.
—Doesn't seem like it. I know. Would you like to come with me for some tea before dinner?—.
—Lucifer! You too?! I can't, I'm sorry. Did you forget why? I'm- —.
Lucifer pouts. —Say no more— he said, almost begging. You felt his disappointment, so you stood quiet. He turned around and left you, words still waiting to come out of your pretty mouth. This turned into an upsetting scenario. So, you thought that, at dinner, you could ask what is going on. Nonetheless, you were in a hurry. You needed to change into your regular clothes and get ready. After all, you were on cooking duty tonight. Since you're a normal human who has yet a lot to learn, you need to take the time to cook for seven + army-like rations for Beel. Besides, you wanted to do something nice for them all and cook each of their favorites as a thank you for all the great and thoughtful things they have done this week for you.
As you walked to the kitchen, ready to get started, you heard a heated discussion in the living room. Quietly, you walked to the room's threshold and listened:
—Okay!— Asmodeus shouted, —Who's the one who got the yes?! I am the most beautiful one! So which of you stole my MC?!—.
—Huh?! I should be the one saying that!— Mammon answered in the same raging tone of voice —Y'all know MC is MINE! Who stole them?!—.
—Yours?— Lucifer said, —Don't make me laugh, you'd be the last demon they'd want to belong to—.
—You're just bitter 'cause they didn't choose you either—, Mammon responded.
—Shut up!— Satan yelled and continued, —You're disturbing my reading time!—.
—You say that but you too are annoyed so I assume you weren't chose either—, Belphie pointed out. —When you all yell and fight, you make Beel sad. Look at him—.
—Nah—, Beel admitted, —They didn't chose me either, that's why I'm sad. I can't believe one of you stole them from me—.
—From you?!— Belphie snapped, —Rather one of you stole them from ME!—.
—No! From me!— Levi said —They're my only friend and you took that away from me!—.
A seven party discussion ensued, all of them talking about you "not choosing them" or "being stolen" from each of them. You are not an object to steal. You're not an asset, a thing they can take whenever they feel like it. It annoyed you that they didn't even ask you what was going on. Heck! They didn't even let you finish when you said you couldn't. Now it was your turn to snap.
—SHUT UP!— you ordered.
All the brothers had no choice but to do so. They all looked at you perplexed.
—I'm not an object you can own! I rejected all of you! Wanna know why? Because I'm on cooking duty today!—.
The brothers looked at each other, surprised. Asmo broke the silence, though: —But, this witch friend of mine said that the person you truly love was going to receive something from you around dinner time... who is it that you love MC? Come on! We are totally sorry, but we all love you too. Like, "love-you-romatically" love you, you know?—.
You blushed at Asmo's forthright love confession, worst of all, made on behalf of they seven, who quietly expected your answer as if confirming their brother's words. Nonetheless, you quickly pivot back to anger. —I have no idea what you're talking about. I was going to make everyone's favorites for dinner, but I guess that won't happen now. So for dinner, you'll eat whatever I make and shove it down!— you ordered. The seven brothers walked to their usual seats at the dinner table without a pinch of self-control, as if in a trance, unable to turn around, and waited there as you finished to cook dinner.
✨️✨️✨️
You walk to the dinning table, feeling the tension and the growing impatience: Lucifer taps his fingertips on the table, Mammon and Leviathan shake their leg anxiously, Asmodeus holds his chin with both his hands while pouting. Satan reads a book, and every ten seconds or so, he tsks and starts over again; Beelzebub brushes his hair with both his hands over and over again, and Belphegor moves positions on his chair every two second or so, as well.
You have to admit that it makes you feel a little satisfied to look at them so worried, probably torn up between you, being angry, and you, cooking them all an unpleasant meal. Either way, it's because of you.
Satan spots you walking through the dining room opening, with their meals levitating around you by your magic; a simple trick that Solomon taught you no long ago. —Hey kitten. What do you have there? Not that we are worried or anything; in fact, we're eager to eat your delicious dinner. Why don't you unbound me from your order, and I'll help you set the table?—.
—Nice try— you think, but keep your mouth shut and instead, you answer: —I'm not a demon, Satan. I won't do anything bad to your meals—, you continue as you set their plates on their specific places —I'd never do something like that to you seven—, you grin devilishly as each of their specific meals take their places. The seven lords glup. Their meals don't look bad, but all and each of these are their least favorites. And of course, all of these with a teeny tiny of bit of a Solomon's unidentified substance, that you all kept in the bottom of the fridge, as one of the spices you used for cooking, enough for the dinner to taste awful but not enough to make them ill:
• Beef in a spicy sauce with Devildom eggplant salad for Asmodeus.
• Stir-fried green peppers for Mammon.
• Lots of green peas in a risotto for Satan.
• Stir-Fried Okra with tomatoes and fish for Leviathan.
• Chicken salad only, bathed in a copious amount of lemon juice for Beelzebub.
• Noodles in a very liquid salsa for Belphegor.
• And of course, tiny hamburgers for Lucifer and a side pudding as dessert.
—Although I didn't make your favorites, that's okay for you, right guys?—, you say, walking through the dinner threshold once again, not before taking your coat from your usual chair's support.
—Wh-Where are you going?—, Mammon asks.
—Oh! I decided I didn't want to have dinner at home today, so I invited Solomon, Simeon, Raphael, Thirteen, and Luke to Hell's kitchen for some delicious hamburgers. My treat!—, you answer with a passive-aggressive tone, a grin in your face that obviously hides your anger.
—MC, come on! We said we were sorry—, Asmo interferes.
—Oh! Nonononono! I know. I forgave you all. Remember?— you respond, and all the brothers sigh in relief. —But only of you eat your specific meals— you add, and they all sigh again, this time disgusted.
A ding dong sound stops the brother's spiraling thoughts, with no other option but to eat their least favorite foods, bounded by your orders, so even if they decided not to eat, they would anyway. —That's for me— you say, while taking your cute bag too, —Oh! I also added a little something-something to your dinner. It was kinda purple, I think Solomon brought it some weeks ago. You all don't mind, right?—.
The room falls silent, and you walk happily out of the house. At the door, your fellow exchange students and friends.
—Dammit!—, someome yells once you close the main door.
✨️💖❤️✨️💖💚✨️💖💛✨️💖💙✨️💖🧡✨️💖💜✨️
⏩️ Read my next text here ("Our future together", Mammon x gn!reader).
[Notes: The character(s) depicted here belong to the mobile game "Obey me: shall we date" and are owned by Solmare Corporation. The text here was made by me: Treasure of Mammon, meaning these are fan-made. | GN!Reader | English is not my first language, so there might be orthographic and syntax errors. I urge you all to interact kindly with this post].
📌 Masterlist
182 notes · View notes
wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months
Text
Symptoms of a System Error: The Manifestation of Myungha's Depression in Love for Love's Sake
Ok I will almost certainly have more thoughts about this when I go back to rewatch Love for Love’s Sake in the next couple weeks, but I’ve been thinking about the finale for the last couple of hours and I want to get some stuff out of my head. Before I get too far in to this, I want to say that I think most of the ambiguity in the show is brilliantly executed in a way that allows people to take whatever meaning they want to from it without contradicting each other, without stepping on toes, and without having to twist or bend the narrative beyond all recognition to  make it make sense. 
So I want to talk about the use of depression in this show, because the way Myungha exists in the world is recognizable enough to me that these moments of choice, and the system errors were extremely legible. That doesn’t mean my take is the correct one (and I honestly don’t think there is one right answer here anyway) but it’s what I got out of it, so with the needless ramble complete, let’s get to it. 
Prologue
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
I connected rather quickly to Myungha as a character from right near the beginning of episode 1 because of how passionate he was about the character of Yeowoon and how much he hoped for a happy ending for that character. As someone who processes a lot of my feelings, and who understands myself better through media consumption, I was quick to appreciate the fact that Myungha recognizes the parts of himself that speak to Yeowoon and to know that because Yeowoon is fictional, he has a chance not to suffer with merely a stroke of a pen. The Author could have chosen from the beginning to give Yeowoon a happy ending, and did not because he believes that there are people for whom bad things will never stop happening. But from the perspective of a fictional story, the Author should consider who he is writing the story for. Myungha connects to Yeowoon, and it sends one hell of a tragic message for how Myungha’s life will end up if even in fiction the people who suffer have no hope of happiness. 
Myungha tells the Author that someone like Cha Yeowoon, someone like him [Myungha] with awful lives can still be happy. Looking back on that statement with the knowledge that Myungha kills himself, sends a very clear message, at least for me, of the hope that he was clinging to and finally lost his grip on. The Author asks if Myungha can change the outcome, and thus begins our story.
Debuffs
Now, I don’t know that I will have much more to say here than what @jemmo said in their very brilliant post, beyond the fact I agree with their interpretation of the debuffs. But I am thinking about the debuffs as it relates to mental health and to Myungha’s independence. One of Myungha’s first missions is to befriend Cha Yeowoon, and we see the difficulties associated with doing so when it comes to the Fondness Level meter and the debuffs that happen as a result. I love what Jess said about the dichotomy there: the debuffs mean that every time Myungha gets close to Yeowoon, something bad happens, Myungha uses that as a reason to stay away from Yeowoon to protect him when in fact, being around Myungha and increasing his fondness for him is the only way to really keep Yeowoon safe. 
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
And here again there is something recognizable to me in this dichotomy. Myungha likes Yeowoon, Myungha wants to be friends with Yeowoon, every time something bad might happen to Yeowoon, Myungha is there to intervene. But Myungha is convinced that the potentially negative events that might occur during a debuff are because of him, and so he avoids Yeowoon as much as he possibly can. To me this makes the debuffs a stand in for depression symptoms. Myungha has convinced himself that he is the cause of the bad moments in Yeowoon’s day. Myungha has convinced himself that Yeowoon would be better off if they weren’t friends, because he only makes things worse. And that is not something he can easily shake off, it’s not something he can logic his way out of, that’s the game, that’s just how it is. And so he withdraws until Yeowoon comes to him. 
And honestly thinking about it, nothing bad really happens during those debuffs. The light doesn’t shatter, the boys back off on the bus, Yeowoon doesn’t punch Sangwon. Maybe the reason why nothing at all happens is because Myungha intervenes. Maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there, the light would have broken, maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there Yeowoon would have punched Sangwon. But that is not a lens that Myungha is capable of viewing himself through, that is never an option that crosses Myungha’s mind because he is too focused on feeling like the cause of Yeowoon’s problems. 
System Errors
I know there is a lot of confusion or at least uncertainty around the system errors. Why are they happening? Where are they coming from? For me, I think the answer is Myungha himself. The first time we get a system error, it’s in Episode 6, what I think is the day after Yeowoon and Myungha have their first kiss and very soon after Yeowoon and Myungha kiss on the rooftop at school. The first error isn’t subtle, but it’s not explicitly stated. Myungha walks in to a room to take a phone call and walks in to the middle of band practice, falling through the world as he tries to remove himself from the situation until he (literally) runs in to Yeowoon. Myungha goes home that night and gets his first moments in the black abyss, and the first explicit mention via pop-up of a system error. I have not gone through (yet) to track every instance of what happens before a system error pop-up occurs from that point on, but I will say moment that was most legible for me in terms of indicating that these system errors were stemming from Myungha himself were when he gets the notification both times that Yeowoon looks directly at him and tells Myungha “I love you.” 
Tumblr media
gif by @dragonsareawesome123
That moment was a guy punch for me because I was not able to see it any other way except that Myungha is so incapable of believing that people could actually love him that someone telling him directly and sincerely that they love him cannot exist in his world. He literally cannot compute it, and thus an error occurs. Again from the perspective of depression, or trauma, or what have you, this is familiar to me. It is perhaps the most reflective part of Myungha to my own psyche. Neither of us know how to be loved. 
Myungha is called out on this repeatedly, he is nice to everyone, he does so much for everyone and refuses to ask for help himself. I’m the same way, I will bend over backwards as much as I can to help the people that I care about, but it is a rare occasion where I can ask for help myself. I’m not sure if this is the case for Myungha, but for me at least a lot of that stems from needing to make myself useful to people in some way so they keep me around. And so I end up feeling like a commodity to the people that I care about and help, and merely tolerated by anyone else that I do not help but that interacts with me any way. Myungha is called out consistently by multiple people, real or NPC about this similar habit. Myungha does not want to be a burden, Myungha only cares about other people’s happiness, Myungha is not happy himself and has maybe never been happy and so he pours everything he can in to lightening the load for others. 
He loves Yeowoon, but to be loved by Yeowoon is different. To experience any moments of joy cannot possibly be real. Maybe I am projecting too much on to the character, but it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha’s worldview would break down upon having someone state wholeheartedly that they want to be a support system for him. 
Cruel Choices
Tumblr media
gif by @dramascene
With the enmeshment of depression and video game mechanics in mind, I want to talk about the scene at the end of Episode 6. I love this scene so much for a number of reasons: 
It turns the game on a head for me as we slip further and further in to a nightmare scenario
It raises the stakes and attempts to get Myungha to make a hard choice 
It forces Myungha to think about what is important to him 
It’s ultimate purpose and who is posting the mission is ambiguous/uncertain 
I’m going to focus on number four. I think it is a perfectly valid read to see this and all video game mechanics as designed by The Author in an effort to help Myungha change Yeowoon’s story in which case this mission feels particularly vindictive and cruel. @lurkingshan posed the question in a conversation we were having about Love for Love’s Sake, where she wondered why the game could not hold two sources of love for Myungha at once. I love that question because it made me realize how differently this show can be read and how important who you choose to read as the entity in control of this game is for what this scene specifically means and I love so many interpretations of it, I love the interpretation that is was simply cruel, I love the interpretation that in retrospect this was the Author being angry at Myungha for dying, I love the reflection from @jemmo that said this felt like a choice between staying rooted in the past (sparing grandma) or choosing a future (sparing Yeowoon)
For me, I think I am leaning heavily in to the pop ups are under Myungha’s subconscious control, his mind, the missions he thinks are important, the problems he thinks he is causing are what is driving the base game. Because of this my base instinct is to lean in to the depression/anxiety/trauma tent where things have been going a little too well for him lately and he has convinced himself that he is due for something bad to happen. I am happy to once again acknowledge that this probably projection, but I know that my own mental illness(es) does not let my peace linger for long. Myungha is spending so much time with Yeowoon, Yeowoon who grounds him when his world is literally falling apart. Yeowoon who cannot contain his smile whenever he is around Myungha, Yeowoon who is downright desperate to bestow love and support upon Myungha, Yeowoon who has accompanied Myungha to the hospital late at night to be there for his boyfriend in a stressful time, and Myungha can’t have that. He loves his grandmother, he loves Yeowoon, they both love him and so obviously means that something bad is going to happen to them. 
Tumblr media
gif by @25shadesoffebruary
[As an aside I am thinking about what the Author said in the final episode about wanting Myungha to be able to see himself from the outside, and how I took that to mean Yeowoon is supposed to be a reflection of Myungha and a journey to self love, and how Yeowoon told Myungha that something bad always happens to the people around him in relation to this hospital scene]
Secondarily, I do think being confronted with this choice at all allows Myungha to have a moment of reflection, and is clarifying for him to know that both Yeowoon and his grandmother are important people in his life that he doesn’t want to lose. That’s fucking huge, in my opinion at least. And for all this mission was cruel, it was the first time Myungha refused to complete the mission. He was asked to save one, he decided to save both, and the game could have been cruel and taken his grandmother and Yeowoon away for refusing to choose, but it didn’t. They both got to live, and sure Myungha’s mission to make Yeowoon happy was shortened significantly, but I do think fifteen days was enough time to be successful in his mission if the depression and the grief had not gotten to Myungha instead. 
Grief 
Tumblr media
gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses
Something about grief that my therapist told me once was grieving people love helping others. And I think that is the case of Myungha here just based on the way he throws himself in to helping as many people as he can, especially Yeowoon. He knows Yeowoon is grieving, he knows Yeowoon is struggling, and he can distract himself from his own shit by helping Yeowoon instead. But once Myungha is confronted with the possibility that either one of the people that he loves could die, the penality for failing in his mission to make Yeowoon happy looms over his head like a knife. Just like Myungha considered himself the problem with the debuff, he knows how high of a likelihood it is that Yeowoon would regress, would isolate, would sink into a massive low. 
And it would be Myung’s fault (in his mind). 
Especially because Yeowoon keeps saying that even thinking about going on dates with Myungha is making him happy but Myungha’s mission isn’t complete. Myungha has started to get low, he is not as engaged in his relationship with Yeowoon, he’s convinced himself he is going to fail, and is thus setting himself up for failure because he decides 15 days is not enough time to find happiness, but it is enough time to break somebody’s heart in preparation for a devastating loss. And maybe, maybe Myungha would have snapped out of it with enough time to spare initially, but any hope of that being the case was shattered the second Yeowoon admitted that he wasn’t happy because Myungha wasn’t relying on him. 
Myungha is so used to be self-reliant there is no way for him to break out of that habit in just two weeks. Myungha knew his death would hurt Yeowoon, but the final nail in the coffin for him was learning that his life was hurting Yeowoon too. And he almost got there, he almost did it, he admitted that he didn’t know how to, but he withdrew at the last second. He has spent all this time, all this energy, all this focus in to changing Yeowoon, he does not have the space to do that for himself. 
The Choice 
Tumblr media
gif by @supanuts
The last moment I will really speak to as it relates to my interpretation of this game being controlled by Myungha as a manifestation of his depression is the author’s pen. Considering the fact The Author asked Myungha if he wanted to try again, I do not think if the Author was controlling this game world that he would have had Myungha disappear from it. Because according to the Gaga subs, the change that Myungha writes is that he wants Yeowoon to be happy, and immediately upon finishing that request, Myungha starts to fade. 
If we hold these game mechanics as manifestations of Myungha’s depression, which I do, it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha would fall back in to the pattern of believing that Yeowoon would be happier if Myungha wasn’t there. Yeowoon has a modeling deal now, he has some modicum of fame, he has friends now, he has supports in place that he did not have before, so what need does Yeowoon have of him, when his inability to let people love him is what is now causing Yeowoon to feel sad. 
And I think that massive server error at the end where the world is burning and the universe is melting in to the game is a result of Myungha realizing too little, too late that this isn’t what he wanted. But it can’t be undone. The line he says when he is sinking in to the water about how at the last minute before he died, he regretted it. The game, the drowning here are one in the same to me. 
And for me there was just something so beautiful and hopeful from Myungha telling The Author that he wants to try again. We started the show with Myungha telling The Author miserable people can be happy, and we end the show with Myungha and Yeowoon finally getting the happy ending they never thought they would have. 
Tumblr media
gif by @junghaesin
God I loved this show.
375 notes · View notes
chaos-and-sparkles · 8 months
Text
In Which I Ramble About Pavitr's Character Design and the Indian Cultural Stuff Related to It
DISCLAIMER: I'm an Indian, and these are all my thoughts and analyses, but I'm also just one person and by no means am I speaking for everyone. I am not all knowing, and I am not immune to being wrong sometimes. These points are all my own thoughts and stuff that I know through my lived cultural experiences and some history and book knowledge, but I've not particularly researched any of these. I'm just out here giving my take from what I know. This is mostly just going to be me rambling, okay? Okay. Let's go!
Anyway okay so I just wanna go from the top down:
No. 1:
First of all his hair
His fucking hair
This is one aspect that i k n o w I'm overthinking and probably wasn't as significantly thought out in the design but it just Spoke to me and by all accounts I'm not the only one
But I'm so glad we have him with his thick gorgeous fricking hair, especially them being like curly/wavy and slightly long instead of straight and cropped or whatever
Like. Indians usually have very thick and luscious hair, not everyone ofc but generally it's a thing, and it's considered a point of pride to have long dark thick hair.
And the thing is for the longest time the beauty standard in India was to have very straight and shiny hair, all the actresses and heroes were doing it, even though that's literally not the realistic case for a lot lot LOT of Indians. There's a pretty big variety of hair texture in India; some of it is regionally concentrated too, eg. in South India you get a lot of frizzy, tightly coiled hair that's rough textured, whereas curly hair is usually silkier and looser curled as you go Northwards,, Bengalis tend to have very wavy thick hair,, etc. By no means a rule or anything, it's just a thing that there's a lot of curl variety and a lot of it was for the longest time considered ugly and unkempt (there are some classist/regionalist elements to this stereotype also unsurprisingly) still is by some people,,, bc the standard was Shiny Straight Hair. It's a standard that's slowly shifting. It's currently leaning more on the wavy and voluminous side. But it's def a thing still.
All that to say, it makes me so so happy to see Pav with his curly-ish lush hair that he wears with such pride and style,, that are a symbol of his own pride and self care too!!!
Also the line about "coconut oil, prayers and good genetics" - I LOVE THAT REFERENCE AHAHABSSK, using coconut oil for the hair is a very common thing here, it's so so good for the hair and the scalp alike and it's relaxing to massage it in too.
I've seen people try to write Pavitr in fics as "quickly brushing some coconut oil through his hair" as part of his morning routine and. Um. That's not how it's done askaskjas, I don't mean to be rude to the writers at all, everyone does the best with what they know and no one knows everything, but also practically speaking that would be greasy and awful.
There are multiple ways to apply coconut oil, ofc. Coconut oil is often massaged into the scalp and rubbed into the hair like an hour before washing, sometimes with lemon juice mixed in, and then washed off when bathing. Some people, especially those with drier and finer hair, apply it as a regular after-hair-wash thing, too, but even so it needs to be rubbed in.
A really beloved thing we have is coconut oil champis, too! This is basically when you sit down cross legged in front of youe mother/grandmother, and she massages the coconut oil into your scalp and hair in a way that literally cures all tension and headaches and leaves your head reeling and is so so good for hair and stress and everything. It's a family bonding thing more than just a hair routine. It's not always done by the mom/grandmother ofc, it's just how most of us first experience it, and they have a technique that none of us can ever quite replicate to the same effect later. As we grow up, we often do it for ourselves and for others. It's a weekly or monthly or even just occasional thing depending on who you ask. But yeah that reference was great I love it dearly!
Tumblr media
Also about the hair length
So in the current modern "civilized" standard (Indian schools and society in general tend to do a lot of shit trying to assimilate us into western culture and stamp out our own,, for example all my life I've been in schools where speaking Hindi and Telugu and stuff in class or in the hallways was Wrong and Forbidden and We Must Speak Only In English Bc We Are Educated And Cultured. This is so fucking hypocritical bc they would also have Hindi and Telugu classes and then criticize us for not getting it right or whatever), boys are meant to have short hair. Teachers literally single boys out in class for leaving their hair longer, not the exact length they set as the limit. This was my entire school experience; thankfully it doesn't seem to be the case in college, but that may just be bc I'm in an artsy college. In the workplace it's less stringent but it's still a thing.
HOWEVER, historically and culturally, long hair was considered good and even Important for both men and women. There's huge regional variations in this ofc; Maratha peshwas and higher classes and stuff for example wore a "pilaka" (idk what else it's called), which is the head shaven clean except a tuft in the middle that's sometimes braided. Brahmins still do it too.
But my point being, long hair was considered good for the most part, at most it would be worn in a bun for fighting and working,,, braids are a pretty big deal too. Having to cut your hair short=a symbol of dishonour and/or exile, or reserved for menial workers and so called "low classes".
(This is not stuff you even get explicitly told btw. This is stuff I've mostly inferred and studied from history and mythology and stuff , so there's no guarantee I'm 100% right)
Also, in Sikkhism (I'm not Sikh myself so correct me if I'm wrong, this is just what I know) having long hair is super fucking important for men. The hair is wrapped up in the turban, and the turban is a symbol of honour and pride and literally considered life. The long hair is considered sacred.
Removing the turban is basically a symbol of literally losing your honour pride and sense of self,, not just in Sikkhism, just generally at this point. Cutting your hair? Insult on injury.
Pavitr doesn't have particularly long hair ofc
But having grown up with such rigidly enforced things abt boys having very short cropped hair, it makes me so happy to see an Indian character who defies that.
Also!! Quick tangent about braids and their significance,, they're considered very beautiful and another symbol of pride, intricate buns and what not too! Just wanna drop this to give you an idea of what i mean:
In the Hindu myth of the Mahabharata, Draupadi, the wife of the Pandavas (she's a very interesting and important and beloved character, regionally also considered a goddess, she was a princess born of fire married to five princes and the vengeance for her honour literally fuelled the war for righteousness etc etc) vows never to braid her hair again until she has washed it in the blood of Dushasana, a man who forcefully tried to disrobe her in court (it's a whole myth of its own). At the apex of the war, Bheem, her husband, brings her his blood. She washes her hair in it and then for the first time in thirteen years, she braids it.
Braids are not as significant now but it was basically a Pretty Big Deal and I just wanted to talk abt it.
In Hinduism too the gods are portrayed with long hair, it's a Thing.
No. 2:
Okay so moving more downwards,, I have a bunch of Thoughts abt Pavs mask design!
Tumblr media
Okay so obv we have the spiderweb-pattern that's a given.
But. The interesting parts are these:
The bindi-like design on his forehead.
Bc my point is
Sure that looks like a bindi. And that's beautiful in itself but I HAVE ANOTHER TAKE
Bindis are traditionally worn by women as a symbol of beauty, prosperity, and again, pride. But while nice, that's not quite a symbolism that fits imo
You know what else is ver similar where my mind immediately goes? A tilak.
The shape is kind of off for a tilak actually, a tilak is more of a U or a V with a dot or a flame-like stroke in the middle. So in that case it looks more like a bindi
But i really like thinking that it's inspired by a tilak too, bc
While a bindi is a decorative mark stuck or painted on a woman's forehead as a symbol of beauty and prosperity
A tilak is basically a mark that's finger-painted on the forehead of , usually a man but there's a softer smaller version for women too and ofc there are women warriors who got tilaks, for auspicious and blessing reasons. So in a Puja or ceremony, a tilak is put as a blessing and an auspicious thing, also meant to impart strength. The head of the household usually gets the most striking or biggest one.
Pandits usually wear tilaks for blessing purposes too, although their design is different and more elaborate than the ones given to others
Gods and goddesses had their own tilaks, some of them very distinctive like Shiva's
The part that applies to Pav is the warrior tilak
Basically before a king or warrior went to battle, it was customary to do a small sending off ritual and for the wife or mother to put the tilak for them and say "Vijay bhava" (may you be victorious)
It's still done for big undertakings and challenges like exams and new jobs and stuff.
Tumblr media
It's basically for strength, bravery and victory
The main difference in a bindi and tilak is the intent:
Bindi is for beauty
Tilak is for valour
Which. For a HERO. Just. Chef's kiss.
2. the markings around his eyes!!
I'm sure this has been said before, but it's very very reminiscent of kathakali makeup.
Tumblr media
Regionally there's a lot of eye makeup stuff also btw. There are some absolutely beautiful tribal designs and regional designs with a lot of colours but I cant remember specifics rn
Also!! The very distinctive black lines around Pav's eyes?? I love them sm bc they feel so so based in kohl and kajal. Another huge beauty and often pride related thing.
There's even a whole thing where a mother or older sister will often rub a bit of her kohl off on her fingertip and press it behind their loved one's ear so that "buri nazar na lage" (no one's bad gaze catches you). It's called a kaala teeka
The idea being that you're so beautiful and/or cute and bright and lovable and nothing should jinx that and nothing bad should happen to you. It's very rare now and I've never experienced it myself but it's so so precious <33
3. the white markings on his cheeks!
I've seen that explanation of how it's reminiscent of Ganesha, the elephant headed god who is kind of a symbol of new beginnings, intelligence, prosperity, and a ton of stuff I don't even know how to explain honestly, but he's very cool and beloved and has a lot of Good Vibes™ and i love him basically.
I personally am reminded more of kathakali makeup again!! But that explanation is very cool too and i like it!! I don't know if I agree bc i think it m i g h t be a blasphemy to have that imagery on your face, afaik no one here does it for any reasons and we have literal festivals and pujas dedicated to Ganesha
But then again I am a human with limited knowledge and i don't know everything
I personally think the tusk like designs are very cool. However, I also think it would be a bit of a No No for religious reasons. I also think it reminds me more of classical dance face makeup and stuff.
I also think if they meant to make it a Ganesha reference, then he should only have a tusk on one side, bc there's a huge deal about Ganesha being "ekdanta" (transl: one toothed) bc he has a well known myth of breaking off one of his tusks to write a mythologically and culturally significant epic.
There are also a lot of actual cultural face painting things in India that are way cooler than the Ganesha thing in my opinion. So while that theory is cool, I don't personally agree with it. I could be wrong, again, idk what the design intent was exactly.
No. 3:
Next thing: this is a very very small thing and i only have a sentence on it, but i really appreciate Pav's neckline in his suit.
Tumblr media
The neckline here? That's the kind of cut that's most typical of kurtas. Especially more ceremonial, kingly, wedding sherwani, or generally festive attire; a regular kurti might have a v-neck or something, but this curved collar? Very Indian and classy in a way I can't fully explain.
No. 4:
This next thing I'm going to go completely ballistic about, everyone hold on to your seats!!!
Tumblr media
THE FUCKING MOTIF ON HIS UPPER ARMS. IT'S EVEN ON THE MEHENDI-ISH PATTERN ON HIS WRISTS AND HANDS. THE SPIDER SHAPE TOO. I AM NOT NORMAL OKAY
LISTEN.
LISTEN TO ME
TBIS IS CONFIRMATION THAT KRISHNA PAVITR IS CANON
HE IS SO SO KRISHNA CODED
Idc if I'm delusional, i DARE you to look at that blue design and tell me it doesn't look like a peacock feather
THE SHAPE OF HIS FUCKING SPIDER IS OH SO SUBTLY CURVED TO BE PEACOCK FEATHER SHAPED TOO
There is no human way for me to be normal about this i need a minute
Okay for context:
Krishna is a very important and beloved god in Hinduism. I cannot overstate the love I have for him, even being mostly non religious myself.
There is SO MUCH about him he is such a big deal and thanks to him being made a character in popular Indian cartoons and so many animated and live action movies being made about him, he is literally woven in the fabric of our collective consciousness and love for our culture
He's a mischevious and fun and chaotic and lowkey antiestablishment kid deity. He contains the literal universe. He has a deep abiding love for his people and his family and loved ones and the world he serves. He is a dancer, flute player, sweetheart, lover of life. He has a thousand wives, yet one Radha who he never married but is his literal immortalized soulmate. He guides heroes to duty. He is full of wisdom but also silly hijinks. He is so so beloved.
The peacock feather is his symbol! You could see the peacock feather anywhere and it's immediately OH KRISHNA! He wears a peacock feather, famously. In all his iterations, from childhood to adulthood. Peacock feather is his emblem.
Krishna is depicted through the peacock feather. It's become a very common motif in arts like mehendi and various textile arts to have peacock feather and peacock patterns; I'm sure that existed before Krishna too in several cultural circles but he is definitely a huge part of it since. There is a chikankari motif that is very recognisable that's reminiscent of peacock feather but I'm mostly unsourced on that, going off my own interpretation
But there's a definite link between peacock feather=Krishna=inextricable part of culture and art.
At least in North India. He's less of a big deal the further south you go. Still very widespread and overall loved tho.
So anyway seeing that peacock feather type motif on Pav?? Mixed with his Spiderman identity??? Is so amazing to me.
Krishna coded Pavitr real ✨
Tumblr media
(Also yeah people have already pointed out that Pav's hand designs are based on mehendi so I don't need to go into that askjasjkas)
No. 5:
Also. Huge fan of his arm cuffs. It's just another Indian warrior thing; often in ye olde times and in mythology, the cuff would be a lot simpler, often just a thread with an amulet to grant you protection. But it steadily became fancier, and now it can be decorative or a valour thing or both
Very often just decorative now actually. Often seen in weddings and ceremonies too
No. 6:
Okay about his bangles now:
I absolutely LOVE THEM I love them so much I am so obsessed with them actually!!
So. First of all
I remember there being a confusion in like earlier fics especially on whether they were bracelets or damrus or bangles or what
And i have Thoughts
So first of all
They are not damrus/damarus.
Damarus are a musical instrument made of wood and with two beaded ropes to beat on the small drum-like ends. They're also symbols of lord Shiva who uses a damaru.
They are very different from what Pav wears and i remember my fucking whiplash when earlier fics called his bangles damarus. I think i choked on my maggi.
I don't mean to be rude to the writers ofc, they were doing the best with what they knew. But it's just very jarring to me to hear that
I think an explanation I heard was that Pav's web shooter design was inspired by damarus? Which yeah I get that and I actually wanna talk about it bc I very much see it. But they are very much NOT damarus themselves
Tumblr media
So
First of all i personally have never seen nor heard of the kind of bangles Pav wears which appear to have a strip of cloth in the middle? While being gold cuffs on both ends? Which is new and interesting actually and opens up aspects abt his character that i find really interesting
Bc first of all: that implies he made them himself from stuff he already had inspired by things he saw. It seems, at least to me, like he used bangles/kadas he had to make the shooters he uses, which are designed the way they are for easier slinging and his cool tricks with them which would be harder if they were solid gold, and also the shape when he does the cool yoyo-y trick and hits The Spot with it and everything is very damaru shape. Which is also pretty cool if it's meant as a reference to Shiva and his damaru (he's a very fierce god with the damaru) or a reference to the street performers who use it nowadays.
Either way - and also additionally the fact that PAV LITERALLY DOUBLED HIS BANGLES AS WEB SHOOTERS WHICH IS SO CREATIVE AND SMART - and developed his own whole signature skillset with it?? And made his own bangle/shooters as I said before????
Tumblr media
My boy is PEAK jugaadu
He is the embodiment of jugaad
Never has anything been so true to the Indian spirit than jugaad
Okay so for context, the jugaad that I keep talking about:
It basically means makeshifting and/or inventing stuff you need from the limited stuff you have. That's a very simple way of explaining it. Just imagine that, but up the silliness level x100.
For example, a guy jugaaded a showerhead by poking holes in a sprite bottle and putting a hose in it and routing it to the tap.
Jugaad can be both very smart, and very funny and silly
And it usually involves combining useless stuff/trash/just stuff you had lying around to make smth that you didn't wanna waste money buying, and often ends up having more functions than the stuff it was meant to replace. This but it's also very crackheaded. Like idk how to explain. It's basically makeshifting, but it's just developed into such an Indian Spirit Thing™ that we have a word for it
So i love that Pavitr's bangles do all of that. He is a true Indian boy to his core!
No. 7:
Okay I have thoughts on his dhoti too!
So.
Blue.
I know why they used blue for his dhoti, what with the spiderman colours, the need to complement his bright red with smth softer, and everything. I get it and i love it so so much. What I'm about to say next is not a complaint against this at all, it's very good design imo
But.
Everytime I look at him in his fucking blue dhoti
I just remember all the times my grandmother has apprehended me and made me go and change for trying to wear blue or black at a Puja
Bc they're apparently unholy colours ;_;
Basically yellow, saffron, red are the appropriate holy colours. Now that i think about it, I've never seen a god or mythological king depicted in a blue dhoti or generally blue clothing either - farthest they go from the three i described is pink or green
I never really thought about it until my Nani pointed it out. I'm still not sure if anyone except her even knew or cared about it.
But that is the memory that bonks me on the head every time i Perceive the blue dhoti
Bro upgraded from funeral colour (white, which is his dhoti in the comics and absolutely infuriates me on a visceral level) to unholy colour askaskjjska it's so funny to me
Purple was still a luxurious colour, but generally warmer and/or lighter colours are The Done Thing. It's an old notion and the cultural connotations are now very diluted by Western influence and also none of us Caring about a lot of it anymore (not necessarily a good or bad thing particularly)
Indigo also has. Loaded connotations.
Because Britain did a Colonialism and a lot of Indians suffered for it. It's a whole history lesson.
I would rather not get into the whole details but basically Indigo (the plant from which the dye was made) was a valuable commodity and Britishers essentially forced farmers to grow only that, ignoring their need to grow food or sustenance or care for the land in general, especially in the Bihar-UP regions. There were eventually a lot of revolts where many people, esp farmers, died.
Basically a double whammy of starvation and death as a direct result of colonialism. It was a major part, historically, that sparked rage for the freedom movement
If you wanna learn more abt it you can search up Champaran farmer revolts!
Also about the drape of Pav's dhoti:
Tumblr media
I've seen a couple of memes and reels abt how Pav, in an emergency, suiting up for Spiderman duty, would be taking an hour to drape the dhoti and stuff
And those are hilarious and i love them
But also
That's literally not even a proper dhoti -
So the thing pav wears is basically more of dhoti-pants with a cummerbund.
So okay I need to explain this better hold on
A dhoti is basically a sheet of fabric that is draped around the waist and down. The elaborateness of the cloth can vary vastly from intricately patterned silk and brocade, to plain white cotton with a thin gold border optional
The drape of the dhoti varies even more depending on region, occasion, occupation, and status. You can have everything from the casual simple towel like drape and tuck that some men wear to relax on a daily basis, to an intricate thing with many folds and pleats and tucks and the middle part that hangs (I forget the name for that) that would actually legitimately take hours and is often adorned with jewellery . To a thing that's flexible to move in and also looks very pretty and is genderneutral some dance forms call for.
Basically. The drape varies vastly. And it's all one cloth, maybe a second one for a separate cummerbund sometimes, I'm not that well versed abt dhotis tbh.
But the thing Pav wears?? It doesn't seem to me to be folded the way I've ever seen any dhoti
The way it's folded and shaped is not how those style of dhotis work. There would be a lot more pleats and folds, for one. But it's not shaped the way to match the less-folded dhotis either.
Now, I'm no dhoti expert, but that leads me to believe that's not a full on dhoti. What it's more likely to be is dhoti-pants
Dhoti pants are this fusion thing. It's in the name. I haven't seen it much but I know/think/am pretty sure its a thing, bc most Indian guys now don't know how to drape a dhoti either and it's a good solution. Worn like a pant, looks like a dhoti. Simple. A cummerbund for the middle drape, and you're set!
Also side note: the fold with the distinct two legs and the middle drape that Pav has? Is the most commonly depicted warrior and king drape,, at least in North and Middle India, I'm not as well versed about the South but I think it's the case there too. The gods are depicted in that drape too
I have fewer comments on his leg design, I like that it's reminiscent of mehendi even on his feet bc yeah that's also done on the feet, although rarer now and also a bridal thing
No. 7:
He has gold cuffs on his ankles that I really like!
Okay so here's the interesting thing:
I could be wrong, but
But that kind of thick ankle cuff is not actually an Indian thing?? At least not in the warrior hero context that a lot of his design seems based on. At least not of that shape and width.
What we do have though are very simple metal ankle cuffs put on (I think) one ankle of young kids for protection,, again a tradition I'm not very familiar with, it's more localised
The other thing we have that's more interesting tho:
We have payals and ghungroos!!! Which opens up so many exciting prospects to me because those are both dancer things
Like. The payals are ornamental. They are beauty things as well. All women would wear them, their elaborateness and style depending on status, money, and region ofc
They double as dance and performance things too ofc
But ghungroos are specifically dance things
Very very sacred and honoured to the dancers, too. Quite personal
(These are all little bells on the ghungroos btw!! Hundreds of them. They ring out when the dancers dance)
Tumblr media
This is what Pav's ankle cuffs most remind me of. It's not the same thing ofc, and idk if the designers were even thinking of this.
But it would be really cool if he was inspired by ghungroos to have cuffs of similar thickness and placement on his legs. Perhaps even familiar to him hmmm?
This is me theorizing HARD to support my headcanon, but combined with Pav's classical dance-n-martial-arts-y moves, i present to you: Pav learning classical dance when he was younger (a thing that a lot of Indian kids do and only a few seriously continue for their lives) is real.
I rest my case
Like yeah it's known at this point that Pav's moves are based a lot off the martial art of kalaripayattu. Which is SO AMAZING AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! But I also think this would be a cool influence alongside that, bc it really feels visible too.
No. 8:
The fact that Pavitr is barefoot is so so important and dear to me!!!
In Indian culture, you're supposed to take your shoes off as a mark of respect, before entering the ranabhoomi (literal transl: battleground, but not in an actual war with swords and shit ofc)
Being barefoot for pujas and in temples and on sacred ground in general is very important
As is being barefoot when you're walking onto a kabaddi or wrestling ground,, basically any fight that's supposed to be important and/or with honour. It's a respect thing for the opponent and for the earth you fight on.
There are a lot of contexts where being barefoot is important or a given
There's the prayer ground bc it's sacred and holy and you can't be dragging your dirty ass shoes there it's super disrespectful. You gotta enter with clean feet specifically, dirty feet are considered disrespectful too. that's also why there wil often be feet washing areas outside of temples here
Then there's the ranabhoomi that I just said, which is more of respect for your opponent and the earth. Respect to the earth especially is very important in the combat forms and sports I know of at least
Then there's the basic respect and tbh the hygiene thing too, of always taking off your footwear before entering another persons house. That one is more flexible, sometimes you can take it off inside, but the done thing is to take them off outside generally. Especially if you're a guest who's not particularly close. You'd be considered really rude if you didn't take them off at all. But again that still varies by person,, the older generations are way stricter abt it
Then the bride thing,,, it's actually a whole small ritual. The bride and groom will enter the groom's house for the first time,, which is considered the bride's new home bc misogynistic tradition so yeah. But basically it's supposed to be an auspicious beginning to a new home and life. (Btw being barefoot during the wedding ceremony is also generally required)
Usually, at least in North Indian tradition, a small vessel of rice is kept at the threshold that the bride must tip over with her foot when entering. It's for prosperity. Then she steps directly into a plate of a red liquid I forget the word for, but it's basically a sindoor paste type of thing. Her first steps into the house must be taken leaving those red footprints behind. That's for auspicious beginning
So Pavitr being barefoot is so so cool from a cultural and a character building standpoint
He takes his job seriously, he does it with respect and honour!!! He seems so chill and happy go lucky, but he's deliberate and respectful abt it!! And he's super connected to his culture too, bc you could just Not and no one would care, but it's so important that he does!!
So yeah!
That has been my full ramble askjasjkas. If you made it this far, have a cookie! Thank you and I hope this was interesting <33
Tumblr media
412 notes · View notes
watchmegetobsessed · 3 months
Text
okay so hear me out: yn’s dad owes a hell lot os money to harry’s dad, not like in a maffia way, but its a serious situation. harry’s father comes up with an offer: if yn marries harry, he will let go of the debt. ofc yn’s dad refuses to sell his daughter but she wants to help her family so she ends up convincing her dad to accept it.
now, harry is known to be this grumpy, closed off loner, he has his own house with lands that he takes care of himself, he is doing his own business but he is known to be distant and doesn’t want anything to do with people. thats the reason why his dad wants him to marry someone, so that he might come out of his shell and start acting “normal”.
there is no wedding, they sign the papers separately and yn moves into harry’s house but they are just two strangers living together. harry ignores her most of the time, even tells her to stay out of his space and she can do whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t bother him.
but ofc they can’t avoid each other entirely so they have awkward encounters and run ins here and there, they even talk sometimes and slowly, i mean veeeryy slowly they get used to each other. but yn still feels incredibly lonely and homesick and one night harry finds her crying in the kitchen and he realises how awful she must be feeling so he tries to make her feel more home: he plants her favourite flowers in the garden, he repaints the window frames in the sunroom where she likes to read to her favourite color, he even attempts to cook for her… and slowly, she realises he is not the grumpy, mad guy everyone fears in town but a wonderful man who has been going out of his way to make her happy and ofc she is falling for him, just as hard as he is falling for her.
that is until he finds the emails she has exchanged with a lawyer about a possible divorce without fearing consequences towards her dad. he gets mad and disappointed and so sad, bc he felt like he found the person he could open up to but he was reminded that yn was only there to help her dad, not for him.
bc he still loves her, he gives her a way out: she can go back to her old life, they are getting a divorce and her father will remain dept free. she is confused about the 180 he just took, he is cold all of a sudden and she doesn’t know why. she convinces herself that he doesn’t love her and that she has to move on so she takes the deal and moves back home.
they start the divorce process, it takes about a month and they both suffer that time without each other, she realises he is her home now and he believes he will never love anyone again. they have to sign the final papers and so harry tries to make it happen without them meeting but she shows up at his place and says “i will sign these papers if you say you don’t love me, but if there is the slightest chance you have any feelings for me then im ripping these to pieces and coming right back where i belong” and he goes “feelings? yn i love you like i never thought i could possibly love anyone, i was just a shadow all my life until you came into my life and brought light and love and i will never be the same man again, not after seeing a glimpse of what life could be with you”
so ofc no papers get signed, their dumb asses realise they both been in love with each other so she moves back and they never let go of each other.
wow this was a long rambling lol
232 notes · View notes
dyeher · 4 months
Text
warnings| pregnancy, domestic shit.
notes| draken being uncertain about how babies are made for 0.5 seconds.
“Oi! What the fuck is this?”
Your heart rate spikes at Draken’s tone, your mind flitting through all the things he could’ve found in your apartment that would warrant it.
“What the fuck is what?” you call back, reaching for a paper towel to dry your hands.
“This!” he exclaims and when he rounds the corner and steps into the kitchen with the pregnancy test held in one hand, a wild expression on his face, your heart skitters to an abrupt halt.
“It’s- it’s a pregnancy test Ken,” you say slowly, backing into the sink. He blinks once, lips parting like he wants to say something but then snapping shut. He blinks again.
“You’re pregnant,” he says.
You nod.
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats, louder this time like he’s making sure you can hear him clearly.
“I’m pregnant.”
“How- what?”
“How the fuck do people get pregnant Ken?” you’re not sure if he’s happy or not and suddenly you remember why you’d been waiting to have this conversation. Because you’d never had it before.
“I mean- sex?”
It’s a question. “Yes Ken, from having sex. Specifically sex of the unprotected variety. And how often do we have that kind of sex?”
He gulps.
“Exactly.”
He blinks rapidly, the hand holding up the pregnancy test dropping limply to his side. “You’re fucking pregnant,” he repeats and this time there’s no mistaking the awe as he says it. “We’re having a kid.”
His eyes fall to your shirt covered stomach and then they raise to yours and your breath leaves you in a relieved whoosh. He’s smiling, it’s small and a little wobbly but it’s there and it tells you everything you need to know about how he feels about you being pregnant.
“I take it you’re happy?” you ask, a matching smile splitting your face as he invades your space. The pregnancy test is abandoned to the counter near the sink and Ken cups your cheeks gently.
“I don’t know what I am, but it’s way way way past happy,” he admits, breathlessly. “My heart is beating so hard I think that bitch might fly right out of my chest.”
You laugh wetly, your eyes dampening as he bends to leave a soft kiss to your mouth and then he sinks to his knees and lifts your (his) shirt enough to expose your stomach. One big palm splays open across your stomach, the other grips gently at your waist as he pulls you toward him.
“My kid’s growing in there.”
“Yup.”
“Holy shit,” he whispers. “Holy fucking shit.”
“You’re gonna have to cut back on the cursing when they’re born,” you point out absently.
Draken’s eyes widen as he continues to stare at your stomach. “So much’s gonna change now,” he says to himself.
“Are you ready for that?” You ask tentatively. “A kid won’t be a walk in the park Ken.”
“I know,” he responds seriously.
“Okay.”
“Yeah,” he stands and steps back to give you a once over. “Thank you,” he says.
You pause. “For what?”
“Wanting to have a kid with me?” He says.
“Why would you thank me?”
“I don’t know okay! Aren’t you gonna like…get bigger? And eat all types of crap? My kids gonna do that to you and I feel like thank you might not be enough but…yeah,” he’s rambling and it’s so fucking adorable that this giant of a man is in your kitchen rambling his thanks to you for letting the child that you both made rearrange your body— their home for the next seven months— that your eyes fill with tears.
“You don’t have to thank me Ken,” you sniffle. “I’m okay with this, with whatever our baby wants to do to my body, it’ll be their home anyway.”
Ken nods, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you to him. “Is the crying thing going to be regular?”
Your crying turns into laughter. “Yeah,” you admit. “If you keep being sweet then yeah, the crying thing is going to be regular.”
330 notes · View notes
spiderfunkz · 6 months
Note
hi!
okokokok, what about the reader completely friend-zoning peter.
like peter is completely infatuated with nad tells her that he really likes her, but the reader's like "aww i like you a lot too! your like a brother to me"
basically the reader is oblivious to the fact that peter parker has a massive crush on them. :)
no pressure obviously but i just think that would be rly cute,
luv ya!
-victoria
Tumblr media
✧.* STUCK BY THE GLUE.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— summary : peter was confessing his love to you, though you didn't quite get the message.
— word count : 0,6k
— warnings : all fluff, oblivious!reader, teasing, friends to lovers, cheesy confessions, a kiss, happy ending because i'm soooooooo nice😝😝😛😛😛
a/n : i did gn!reader btw i hope thats ok!!!! some of the confession stuff are inspired by beabadoobee lyrics.
Tumblr media
"what about.. number 13?" you ask.
you and peter have just finished a long week of tests. which means you now have to bombard peter with thousands of questions about his answers.
"uh, i answered b. i think." he replies, unpacking the books from his bag.
you blink, you were pretty sure you answered d. and knowing peter answered b, you were pretty sure you got that one wrong.
"do you think mr. anderson will still give me a point? because a 'd' is basically a 'b' but backwards." you explain.
"maybe, mr. anderson will probably give you a pity point." he replies, still unpacking the books from his bag. you were sitting on the edge of his bed, "i don't think mr. anderson is capable of feeling pity for anyone."
"don't think about it too much. i think you did good on your tests. i mean, you did have the best tutor." he smiles — "oh yeah! how could i forget, jimmy neutron is my tutor."
"okay. rude." he puts his hand on his chest, letting out a dramatic gasp. "what? you have brown hair, you make weird gadgets, and you're abnormally smart." you shrug.
"that's bullying."
"is calling people smart bullying now?"
"when you say it, yes. you're lucky i love you." he sits next to you.
you smile at the L word. though you were 100% sure he meant it platonically. that's what friends do, right?
"you're not gonna say it back?" he pouts.
you laugh, jokingly. but peter didn't.
"oh don't take it to heart, pete."
"can i tell you something?" his heart was racing, "yeah, of course. are you okay?" he seemed tense all of the sudden.
"there's no other way of saying this really. but i like you. a lot." he pauses, "i have never known someone quite like you. you're so pretty it actually hurts." he stutters. a lot.
"i'm having trouble finding the words for this, yet the words to describe you aren't so hard to find. you're like a fresh breath of air. like a shot of espresso. like a cold wind on a hot summer day. you're like a ribbon, laced around a braid." he rambles, "and i really, really like you."
you can't even process whatever he just said. you're not sure how to respond to any of that.
but for whatever reason, your brain can only come up with one response.
"aw, peter. i like you a lot too!
you're like a brother to me."
and with that peter's face looked like a ghost. he just poured his entire heart only for you to completely friend-zone him.
"is something wrong?" you ask.
"you did not just pull that card on me."
"what card?"
peter sighs, covering his face with his hand in utter embarrassment.
"oh." you realize. "let's just forget everything i just said. anyways, what did you get for number 16?" peter changes the topic.
"peter-"
"or maybe number 15? i heard gwen say that was the hardest question."
"peter!"
"or number 3? have you asked me about number 3 yet? i can explain number 3 to you."
he won't listen, so you shut him up,
by kissing him.
now, you aren't doing this because you feel bad. but you truly do have feelings for peter. you don't know why it took peter to finally confess to you for you to realize. but you do. you really do.
"now can you please just listen."
peter's cheeks were bright red, he nodded.
"i really like you too peter and gosh, i wish i realized sooner." you were struggling to find the right words to continue, just like peter did a few minutes ago.
"i like you. i like your messy brown hair, i like your weird gadgets and when you ramble about them, i like how caring you are and how patient you are all the time with me."
"and i love you too."
Tumblr media
184 notes · View notes
acetone4veins · 30 days
Text
Quotes + Mean Girls
associating angsty quotes (and some fluffy ones) to mean girls characters and dynamics, this is definitely longer than it should be and will probably be part 1 of many but anyways. lmk which were your favorites and which ones ruined you :) also shoutout to the cautionary tale discord who saw some of these already and ramble about these characters with me <3
posting under the cut so i don't clog anyone's feeds
Regina
"what a terrible thing to wound someone you really care for - and to do it so unconsciously."
Haruki Murakami
"and when nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. what do you call it, freedom or loneliness?"
Charles Bukowski
"i am changing. i am trying to be better. it is slow; it is rough; it is repetitive, but i swear i am."
Abdulsamad S. M.
"i did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. i did not like to be touched because i craved it too much. i wanted to be held very tight so i would not break."
Marya Hornbacher
"i was not a loveable child, and i'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs."
Gillian Flynn
"if only my heart were as cold as i pretend it is, maybe i could get over this."
Jessica Katoff
"i wasn't beautiful anymore. now i looked like what i was, a raw wound."
Janet Fitch
"i'm restless and harsh and despairing. although i do have love inside me. i just don't know how to use love. sometimes it tears at my flesh, like barbs."
Clarice Lispector
"i did not mean to be cruel. i swear i am good, i am good, i am kind. i have love inside me. some place far far away."
unknown
Cady
"how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before its some kind of murder?"
Richard Siken
"your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."
Dyodor Dosteovsky
"what and how much had i lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what i myself wished to do?"
Ralph Ellison
"my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?"
Fernando Pessoa
"it was good for a while, being empty. i didn't hurt anymore. but as time went on, it was like i could hear myself from far away, begging for permission to come back."
Myra McEntire
"is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?"
Friedrich Nietzsche
"who's the real you? the person who did something awful, or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?"
Rebecca Stead
"you're a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world's on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorrow - and you will drown everyone to prove it."
unknown
Janis
"there are times when i am convinced i am unfit for any human relationship."
Franz Kafka
"i am eternally, devastatingly romantic, and i thought people would see it because 'romantic' doesn't mean 'sugary'. it's dark and tormented - the furor of passion, the despair of an idealism that you cannot attain."
Catherine Breillat
"but whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself."
Kate Chopin
"there were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find."
Chris McGeown
"perhaps its good for one to suffer. can an artist do anything if he's happy? would he ever want to do anything? what is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?"
Aldous Huxley
Gretchen
"i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love."
Sylvia Plath
"she wanted to say 'don't leave me', but she couldn't do it, not again. she was so tired of begging people to love her."
Kristin Hannah
"he is charmingly telling me how much he does not love me...and i, - listening to him carefully, - am approving it."
Marina Tsvetaeva
"she's gonna forever say 'i got this' even with tears in her eyes."
unknown
"still there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind."
Michael Cunningham
"can you understand me? someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little?"
Sylvia Plath
"i am trying to make myself digestible. i am trying to make myself easy to love."
I.B. Vyache
"do you think it is possible that some people are born to give more love than they will ever get back in return?"
Tyler Knott Gregson
Karen
"the sensitive suffer more; but they love more, and dream more."
Augusto Cury
"a lot of people tell me i'm a bit dreamy. but i like the idea of that. of being somewhere else."
Alam
"you cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. this is your tragedy, because you understand them but they do not understand you."
Daniel Saint
Regina and Janis
"the bear loved the deer, it was obvious. it ripped the deer's throat out, and then licked the dying deer with the most passionate affection. i thought of you and me."
David Cronenberg
"can you hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for whom they had been?"
Jodi Picoult
"love isn't soft, like those poets say. love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close."
Stephen King
"i love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
Pablo Neruda
"they will hook me up to a polygraph and ask me if i love you and i will say no but the needle will jump and sputter exactly how you laugh."
unknown
"there's a sickening feeling of familiarity, when the wrong person knows you too well and you know them too well. and they weren't always the wrong person."
unknown
"we don't mean to hurt each other, but we do. and perhaps no matter how right we are for each other, we'll always be a little wrong."
Beau Taplin
Regina and Cady
"i am intense darkness and you are a golden sunrise."
Arijit Singh and Pritam
"even before you touched me, i belonged to you; all you had to do was look at me."
unknown
"whether you come as a lover or an executioner, i am ready to receive you."
Agustin Gomez-Arcos
"for the longest time, i saw myself as a bad person. you don't know how much it meant to me when you looked at me and could see the good."
unknown
"but i have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and i choose both."
Sarah Kay
"i promised myself i would never fall in love with you. but it was 4 am, and we were laughing way too hard, and i felt happy for the first time in a long time, and i knew i was screwed."
unknown
Gretchen and Karen
"i would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world."
Jojo Moyes
"it hurts, he realizes, to love someone who can't love themselves. like watching a work of art set itself on fire."
unknown
"how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head."
Nina LaCour
"come love, make me better than i was. come teach me a kinder way to say my own name."
Andrea Gibson
"i wanted you to see a mess and still find me worthy of love, to tell me that you could still love me anyway."
Georges Bataille
"sometimes, love is as simple as watching the moon and sometimes its as difficult as counting the stars. but i love doing both for you."
unknown
Janis and Damian
"you may be born into a family, but you walk into friendships. some you'll discover you should put behind you. others are worth every risk."
Adam Silvera
Regina and Gretchen
"but i am very homesick for arms that have never held me."
unknown
"i burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if i loved you back. i did, i did, i do."
Annelyse Gelman
"so i wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. till then my windows ache."
Pablo Neruda
"how do you tell someone that the reason you're sad is because you love them?"
unknown
55 notes · View notes
Text
Runaway Thoughts
Carmen Berzatto X Reader
Warnings: Smut, Language, Anxiety, Drinking, Slightly drunk sex
Word Count: 3,051
Summary: After a mishap in the kitchen, Carmen takes it upon himself to cheer you up. 
A/N: This is my first Carmen fic and I hope everyone likes it bc I am definitely starved Carmen content lol. This is not proofread sorry not sorry <3
When your brother begged you to join him working at The Bear, you would have said no if you knew what it entailed. Richie pulled you into the job by calling me over and over, complaining about other candidates and how they “didn’t fix the napkin” whatever that means. You gave in, becoming a server for the restaurant, and managing front-of-house affairs, training the servers on anticipating customers’ needs and wants, and improving their overall experiences at The Bear. The tense atmosphere of the back of house staff doesn't often carry to the front of house workers, but when it rains, it pours.
Tonight was one of those nights. Focaccia courses were behind, pushing everything else back, and causing Carmen Berzatto to lose his shit behind the kitchen doors.
“Where the FUCK are the seven fishes for table 42?!” Carmen screams at Tina.
She attempts to explain that the last batch got undercooked, and she had to cook some of the ingredients a bit longer when Carmen cut her off, snapping  “Just get it done, chef. Every second counts.”
Tensions have been high all night and only continue to rise as servers poke their heads in and out of the kitchen to ask where their missing dishes are. Nothing pisses the chefs off more than this.
The flames between the servers and the chefs are stoked with every backed up dish, and every question, a fact you are overwhelmingly aware of as the servers decide to come to you as a front-of-house manager. You’ve finally had enough of the complaints, and you stomp through the restaurant in search of Richie. He would know what to do, his gruff and snarky exterior being able to bridge the gap between front and back-of-house, with his sister in front and Carmen in the back. Unable to find him in the front, you push open the doors to the kitchen and begin to make your way to the back doors, behind which you assume Richie is standing smoking a cigarette. In your haste, you forget to yell ‘corner’ as you crash directly into one of the dishwashers, who just so happened to be holding a freshly clean stack of salad plates. You watch in slow-motion as part of the stack tips off the top, crashing and shattering on the kitchen tile.
“Oh my God, I-I’m so sorry, here let me go get the broom, I’ll-” you begin to panic, rambling on about cleaning the plates before you look up and meet the eyes of the person you crashed into. It’s one of the new guys, you haven’t talked to him before, making your mishap all the more embarrassing.
In the middle of your rambling he cuts you off.
“Are you too fucking stupid to say ‘corner’?!” He barks. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Do you not know how a kitchen works?! Now we’re gonna be fucked over for the rest of the night because we’re short fifteen plates! And it’s your fucking fault.”
You apologize profusely again as you grab the broom and the dustpan, attempting to sweep what you can to avoid any risk. The man finally walks away as you sweep, muttering more about how he hates you and how you fucked the kitchen for the night. You go silent, retreating from your current situation into your head and thoughts. Are you stupid? You couldn’t solve the server’s problems without running to cry to your brother. You empty the dust pan into the trash. You’re awful at this job. You don’t deserve to work here. You smooth your shirt as you walk back to the front, not looking at any of the chefs you walk past. You’re an obstacle. You don’t help all you do is hurt. You tell a server to deal with their backed up tables by themself, continuing to walk past the rows of tables, to one you know is waiting on their food. Thoughts continue to plague you as you offer them all free glasses of wine as they wait. You wouldn’t have to give away free drinks if you could control the servers. You’re costing the restaurant money. You’re gonna fuck everyone over.
Your night continues like this, nitpicking yourself as you try to do your job, unable to fully be in the moment. A faraway look sits on your face as you complete your cutwork. You roll silverware in fabric napkins, placing the complete bundles into a crate for tomorrow as your thoughts haunt the back of your mind. Richie’s gonna be so fucking pissed. You roll another. Carmen’s gonna fire you. Another. The chefs all hate you now. You reach for another fork, and realize you’re out of clean silverware, signaling your ability to leave.
Checking your phone, you realize it’s much later than usual, you must be moving pretty slowly tonight. The kitchen getting backed up must’ve been your fault.
You arrive at your locker, swapping your non-slip work shoes for regular sneakers. You hear footsteps as you grab your bag.
“Oh good you’re still here. I need to talk to you.” It's Carmen. You’re fired. He hates you.
“I was actually just about to leave, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what happened earlier too, I didn’t mean to knock into him, I understand if you don’t want me back, I totally fucked up the whole kitchen I’m so sorry.” your words escape you before you can think about what you want to say.
“No. No no no, you’re not fired (y/n). You’re like the most reliable one here.  I just need to know what he said to you.” Carmen looks surprised that you would have thought he would ever fire you. “Plus I think Richie would kill me if I fired you so…” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.
“Oh. Sorry. I just kind of assumed-” you trail off before you begin to tell Carmen the awful things the dishwasher said to you, not letting the tears that were welled in your eyes spill down your cheeks.
Carmen looks at you with an upset empathy in his blue eyes, he reaches forward to brush a stray tear from your cheek, then takes your hand in his as you finish telling him how the things the man said to you had echoed in the back of your head all night. “I’m sorry, I know it shouldn’t affect me like it does, I should just move on, grow up.” You dryly laugh, attempting to brush your insecurities off as a joke.
“No, (y/n), I expect that from my chefs who have gone through culinary school. They have those words drilled into them for years and they learn to deal with that in a learning setting, not a professional kitchen like this. That is not in your job description and should not have happened, as the owner I can not apologize to you enough.”
Carmen’s words make you feel reassured and safe. You’ve never heard him speak like that in all of the years you’ve known him.
“It’s not your fault Carmy, I think- I think I just need to go home and sleep off the day.” you brush a strand of hair behind your ear as you bend to grab your bag again.
“Here let me call you an Uber, you don’t really seem to be in a place to deal with the L.” Carmy grabs for his phone, opening the app. “Where do you live?”
You tell him your address and he snaps his head to look at you
“Are you fucking with me?” he asks. You shake your head. “Oh my God you live like a block from me.” He laughs in surprise.
“Oh shit, are you leaving soon? We can just share the Uber to our shithole apartments.” You laugh back. It’s definitely not the nicest part of town but at least Carmy can share your pain.. You’re shocked Richie never mentioned that you live in the same area as Carmen, but Richie is kind of fucking stupid.
Carmy agrees to split the Uber, grabbing his things while you wait for the car to arrive.
As the two of you walk to the car, Carmen opens the door for you, allowing you to slide in before he takes his own seat and slams the door shut, briefly exchanging pleasantries with the driver. It’s a 20 minute drive through the traffic spent exchanging stories of Richie, remodeling The Bear, and finding line cooks doing drugs in the alley. As you pull up to Carmy’s building, he licks his lips nervously, and turns to look at you. “Hey uh, do you want to maybe come in for a drink? I can walk you to your building later if you want?”
“Only if you have tequila.” You respond. He laughs and you follow him out of the car to the doors of his building.
You sit on his couch with a drink in your hand. He sits beside you, picking up your earlier conversation.
“Richie was always an asshole but you were so nice and polite, I didn’t believe you were related when you first came to Christmas.” Carmen is leaned back against the couch, feet up on the coffee table. The arm holding his drink is propped up on the arm of the couch. He looks delicious. It’s then you remember to respond.
“I think I was on my best behavior because your family is terrifying.” You laugh. “Like is Cicero in the mafia or like what is the deal with that?”
Carmen’s face drops “Oh babe, we can’t talk about that.” His voice is hushed and your heart drops. You dumbass you fucked it up. Carmy's concerned look cracks into a smile.
“I’m fucking with you.” He laughs and you let out a sigh of relief.
“You’re awful.” you laugh in response, softly swatting his arm. It's then you realize how close together you are really sitting. You can smell him, hear him breathe. As he finishes laughing, he meets your eyes. It must be the alcohol talking when he says “You know I used to have the biggest crush on you, I was too scared to talk to you that first Christmas because of it.”
You’re taken aback. Fucking Carmen Berzatto just admitted that he had a CRUSH on you.
“No you’re fucking with me again.” You can’t believe him.
“No I promise you I’m not. I honestly don’t think it ever went away, and I probably shouldn't say that but I’m a little drunk right now and there’s a beautiful girl on my couch.”
You can’t say anything. Your cheeks heat up as you lean into him meeting your lips with his. As your lips meet you feel him sigh in contentment, he’s been waiting for this and so have you. Your lips move against each other heatedly as you intensify the kiss. You’re leaned over him so you can kiss him as he is leaned against the back of the couch. Your arm meets his side of the couch to prop yourself up across him and he breaks the kiss for a moment as his arm meets your lower back, encouraging you to set yourself on his lap. Your legs wrap around his waist as you continue to kiss, his tongue entering your mouth as his hand pushes itself under your shirt, rubbing your back. Your hands make their way to his head, you have one hand on his cheek, one tangled in his hair as he moans into the kiss. You feel his hardening cock underneath you as you sit on his lap and you trail a hand down his torso towards his hips.
You pull away from his lips as you whisper  with a soft laugh “Carmy I think I owe you for the Uber.”
You take yourself off of his lap as he frees himself from his pants, his hard cock rests against his stomach as he lays back on the couch. You place yourself between his legs, taking him in your hand. You run your hang along him a couple times before taking him in your mouth.
“Oh my God that’s so fucking good babe, Oh my God.” Carmen moans as you move your head up and down.
He threads his hand into your hair as his head falls back looking towards the ceiling, consumed in the pleasure you are giving him.
He begins to rock his hips to meet your mouth, your hands run up and down his thighs as you continue to suck him off.
Suddenly he pulls you off his cock, keeping his hand in your hair as he pulls you to his lips, heatedly kissing you.
“Can I please fuck you, I need to be in you.” Carmen almost whines.
“Please.” is all you respond before he lays you down on the couch, pulling your shirt off and throwing it somewhere into the abyss of the living room. His kisses from your neck down to your stomach, unbuttoning your pants. Your pants come off next. They meet the same fate as your shirt, thrown to the side. Carmen continues to kiss along your hips, pulling your panties down. He slides two fingers through your heat as he leans back up to meet your mouth with his. “So wet babe. Is it all for me?” He knows the answer, he just wants to hear you say it yourself.
“Yes Carm, all for you.” you moan in response, giving him exactly what he wants.
“Oh babe.” He lines his cock up with your entrance, pushing in bit by bit to give you time to adjust. He kisses up your neck, right under your ear as he begins to thrust into you, causing you to gasp and wrap your hands around his back.
He moans as he fucks you, your hands running down his back. He feels your nails dig into his shoulders as he angles his hips up, hitting the perfect spot inside of you. Your head is thrown back, whimpers escaping your lips as he continues at that angle.
“Oh yeah that’s the spot isn’t it?” Carmy muses, confidence dripping from his statement as he watches your reaction to his actions. It's driving him crazy. He fucks you harder as he feels himself about to finish.
“Oh Babe, I’m gonna cum, you’re so good, so tight oh my God.” He is rambling as he fucks into you, trailing his hand down your front, stopping at your clit, rubbing small circles as he continues to fuck you hard and fast.
“Oh my God Carm please don’t stop that I’m gonna cum, oh fuck.”
“Fuck babe, cum with me, please, fuck.” Carmen continues his actions as your orgasm washes over you, causing you to tense as he pulls out and finishes onto your stomach. Moans fill the room as you ride out your orgasms. Carmen, still above you, leans his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. You tilt your chin up to meet his lips, capturing each other in a sweet, heavy kiss.
Finally Carmen stands to grab a towel and clean you off. He finds his boxers and pulls them back on as he walks away to throw the towel in the laundry. You wonder if you are going to sleep here, or complete the walk of shame back to your complex down the street. Your questions are answered when Carmy tosses one of his shirts to you, cocking his head in a ‘follow me’ signal towards his bedroom.
“Uh, there’s a shower in there if you want, you can sleep here with me, or I can walk you home. No pressure.” He kisses your temple and moves to his dresser to find a shirt.
You make your way to his bathroom to take a brief shower, still feeling a little gross from your shift earlier. Washing yourself with Carmen’s soap, you’re lost in thoughts about how you just fucked your boss and family friend, and it was fucking awesome. You dry yourself with a towel, putting the shirt Carmen gave you back on. He is sitting on the edge of the bed, writing something on his phone when you open the bathroom door. He sets his phone down to look at you. You sit next to him and lean your head on his shoulder.
“Hey.” is all he says.
“That was so good, Carmy.” you simply respond.
“Fuck yeah it was.” He softly laughs. You turn your head and meet him in a soft kiss. “Do you want to stay here tonight? I can make you breakfast in the morning.” He offers, speaking into your hair as you lean against him.
“Yeah, I think I’d love that.” you respond. You crawl into the bed, settling under the covers as he slides in next to you.
He pulls you to him as you wrap your arms around him. “We probably shouldn’t talk about this in front of people.” He says softly.
You breathe out a laugh as you think about what Richie would say if he found out about this. “Yeah, probably not. Just act normal.” you respond.
“Just act normal, huh?” he laughs. “Act like I didn’t just have the best sex of my life with you?” He teases.
“I don’t know, Richie and Sydney would love to hear every detail of this, I’m sure.” You counter playfully. He sighs as he begins to rub your back. You close your eyes as you are hit with a wave of exhaustion from the day, head growing heavier against Carmy’s chest. He kisses the top of your head, whispering a soft goodnight as he turns off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness.
...
After a delicious breakfast, Carmen walks you back to your building so you can get ready for your dinner shift. You smooth your shirt, trying to get rid of the wrinkles caused by it sitting in a heap on Carmy’s living room floor. Just act normal.
You walk into the restaurant, clocking in and walking past the chefs cleaning up lunch. You meet Carmy’s eye and hold back an awkward laugh. Sydney and Tina exchange a suspicious look and Carmen tells them to get back to work as he watches you pass through the kitchen doors to the front.
276 notes · View notes
nereidprinc3ss · 4 days
Note
ok LOVED the ask about dybmn!spence headcanons … to add on to that (& please correct me if i’m wrong!!! i don’t mind at all if your opinion is diff than mine hehe) but i wonder if/feel like spence would get sort of condescending? like as reader gets more comfortable with herself you know? & never in an awful way but i think just leaning a little more into the power dynamics? like back in part 1 where he asks if it’s too much she says no and he goes “no of course it isn’t. you’ll just take whatever i give you won’t you” or smth like that and that part had me kicking my feet LOL like he’s not being inappropriate or playing on her insecurities but it’s just something i think fits! also in a couple of your other fics even if they don’t belong in this universe but like in relax (which is my favorite thing you’ve written btw ily) she says it’s too much and he goes “no it’s not” and essentially you can take it and. SQUEALS like it’s not in a gross way but it’s like deliciously condescending #toME idk maybe this is purely self indulgent but i do think that it’s something he would be into. like the “you can take it” OR OMG when he makes her use her words. DIES omg this is so long and all over the place i hope this made sense LOL but either way again i loved you expanding on the headcanons so much … love to hear what’s going on inside the perfect brain that brings us all these fics LOL kisses babe
i love you anon god bless the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs who turned into the fossils that created the oil that became the gas that fueled the car that drove your mother to the hospital on the day you were born
more 18+ ramblings
i’ve always thought that spencer has a mean side. and i don’t mean that as in classic degradation but as you said condescension. i think in the dybmn universe he’s been holding himself in check a lot, much more than we realize, because he doesn’t wanna overwhelm the reader or accidentally make her feel bad about herself because he knows she’s still fragile at this point. but it definitely sneaks into the way he speaks to her sometimes, like as you said in part one, and it’s definitely pretty clear in his thoughts in part three. and it’s like this weird dissonant motivation where on the one hand he wants her to know it’s okay to not think so fucking hard all the time and to just let him take care of her and on the other he genuinely wants to cultivate her ability to stand up for herself during sex and tell him what she wants. like when he says he wants her words he really wants her words, he wants to make sure she’s engaged and present and she doesn’t have to be eloquent but he does expect a response of some sort.
and then some of it is just because he likes seeing how desperate she gets for him like….. use your words or ask for what you want or whatever are all said with the same unspoken messages which are you’re a grown up so act like it or remember how smart you were five minutes ago or it’s so cute when i let you talk back to me and we pretend like i can’t fix your attitude the second i decide im sick of it
like he just really gets off on the implicit control he has over her, not because he has to forcibly take it but because she hands it to him and she trusts him with it and he LOVES being trusted, he wants to make sure she knows he’ll never break her trust and he’ll always take care of her even if he’s sometimes a little mean😁 he just loves reader BAD
but ya at the root of all the condescension is just a lot of genuine adoration probably because he’s sooooo whipped it’s sickening truly
40 notes · View notes
neuvistar · 1 year
Note
hi hi is it okay if i req kaeya with a reader who has a habit of bouncing her leg all the time and one day he just puts his hand on her thigh and gently rubs to stop her and she just gets really flustered and it leads to bedroom activities <33
MHM! OF COURSE yk what they all say, you ask and you shall receive! (I am so sorry this took longer than it should have, I did not mean for it to do so ૮꒰ྀི ⸝⸝´٥ ˋ⸝⸝ ꒱ྀིა and i kinda added a few things hope that’s fine) IM SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT OR NOT AS GOOD I WROTE IT A FEW DAYS AGO AND FINISHED TODAY IM V TIRED 😓 AND IM SORRY ITS NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED I HAD A BIT OF TROUBLE
Tumblr media
BOLD AS EVER.
— featuring . kaeya alberich x fem!reader
— warnings / content warnings . nsfw. slight semi-public sex at first, fingering, she/her pronouns, thigh riding,, use of nicknames, not proofread, mm i hope this is fine i don’t write a lot for the tall males and know a lot about their personalities so i hope this is fine, overall suggestive content, please let me know if i missed a few ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა || 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
Tumblr media
✦ KAEYA . ALBERICH
meetings. ah, meetings. to be honest, you weren’t quite fond of them especially if they were hours long, listening to Master Jean and all the other knights talk, giving their own opinions on topics they discuss about, coming up with ways on how to protect monstadt and all those boring things! it was bad enough you were dating the calvary captain, kaeya. every now and then he’d drag you along to meetings with him, he’s always ramble about “missing you” or even ridiculous things such as he wouldn’t be whole without you by his side, so sweet of him yet so ridiculous! though you never really pay attention to anything master jean says, but oh well.
“my top priority is to put a stop to anyone or anything who may pose a threat towards monstadt, I expect you all to take this to heart and keep in your minds. this nation is ours, barbatos gave us freedom to live and fight for ourselves with him by our side, we mustn’t throw that all away. have we all got that?” she spoke with her head up high, a determined expression on her face. goodness she was always so hard working, you wonder.. does she ever take any breaks from all this difficult work on her plate? your eyes sparkled in awe, you were so caught up on all your other thoughts and wonders about the acting grand master you didn’t even realize how much your leg was bouncing from anxiousness, fingers shaking. the calvary captain by your side glanced at you, eyes then fixating on your leg.
he brought his hand down to your side slowly and gently caressing your thigh. “you alright?” you flinched, face heating up as your body got even warmer as well. “y—yeah!.. i’m just not used to big huge meetings like this, i’m just nervous” you stuttered bringing your voice down to a whisper, squeezing your thighs closer together. “you sure? because we can leave this meeting if you want to” he whispered to you tapping you with his index. “nono! don’t worry about it, i’ll be fine” the bouncing of your leg began to slow down by the second as you felt more wayyy calmer now that you were talking with kaeya, although.. this didn’t last too long now did it?
all of a sudden, a gasp left your lips. kaeya’s hands moved up further into your skirt as he stared at you, rubbing your thigh once more as if he was asking for consent, in which you nodded. oh boy, you shouldn’t have. kaeya used his hand to lightly flip your skirt, revealing your soaked panties to him. “apologies for this babe.” “whatever! just get this over with, we’re still in a meeting you know? atleast try to be qui— mnn!” the calvary captain took your word, shoving your panties aside as he plunged his fingers inside your wet cunt feeling it clench around him already. “you want me as much as i want you, hm?” “mmh! fuck you kaeya, just be quick with this theres people aroun—“ two fingers, then three. you prayed to the gods that no other knight can see what you both were doing, trying your absolute hardest to hold back the moans that threatened to leave your throat, god.. kaeya’s such a jerk sometimes!
his thumb rubbed the softness of your thigh, licking his lips. fuck.. it was not only you that struggled to focus, it was also him. he slightly bit his lip at the sight of red blush forming on your cute little cheeks, swallowing a lump in his throat as he wonders how cute your mouth would look around his cock, cheeks hallowed and taking him so well like the good girl you are.. his fingers continued to pump in and out of you until your pussy spasms around his digits, reaching your orgasm as you came on his fingers.
what a bold jerk. bold as ever.
— buuuwwep !! ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝< ꒱ྀིა
“yeah? yeah.. you like that? you like how good your pussy feels when you rub yourself against my thigh like this?” you exhale sharply with teeth clenched and pressing yourself closer against kaeya’s chest. your hands latched onto his shoulders for dear life, fingers pinching the soft fabric of his clothes as you rolled your hips. rubbing your core harshly against his thigh you pant and groan greedily wanting to feel more of him, moaning his name ever so gently against the shell of his ear. “you like it when i fingered you with people surrounding us? you poor little thing would’ve been caught if i fingered you even further..” he reached for the hem of your shirt lifting it up swiftly off your head before taking a tit in his mouth, sucking and licking at it desperately, pinching and pulling at the other. “you like it when i touch you like that during meetings? getting flustered over me doing things to you, hm? you want people watch me break you next? fuck your brains out until you can’t do it no more, sweet thing?”
he grabbed your hips, strong hands helping you rub yourself even more against his thigh feeling heat pooling down from your legs already reaching another orgasm, gripping his shoulders even tighter as you rode him even more desperately, body jolting at the sudden slap on your pussy from him, squirting on him before creating a mess on the sheets and on your boyfriend. “that’s three, you cum a lot do you? and sometimes my dick isn’t even inside you when you do, that’s impressive.. don’t you think?” “there are days where i want to slap the hell out of you, y’know” “aww.. don’t be mad babe. can you still handle another round? haven’t came inside that pussy of yours yet, gotta help me with that too”
Tumblr media
WAHA IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ANON!! WORST OF ALL, ITS SO SHORT WAHAHAHA IM SORRY ૮ ㅠ ㅅ ㅠ ა man.. SO SORRY EVERYONE IM GONNA NAP NOW, ILL CORRECT THINGS LATER — Maryse
557 notes · View notes
luckycharms1701 · 5 months
Text
Mikey seems a bit nervous, you think as you gaze over your hot chocolate at him.
It is Valentine’s Day, and the sweetest boyfriend in the world invited you to a rooftop picnic. You were a little skeptical, as it is A Little Chilly, but he insisted that he had it all covered. “It’s gonna be a full moon, Angelcakes,” he wheedled, “It’ll be beautiful, like you! AND we’ll be the only ones around!”
Unfortunately for you, his puppy eyes are your greatest weakness, and he knows when to use them.
You were quite pleasantly surprised to discover that you felt warm when you stepped out onto your rooftop. Mikey had jury-rigged a blanket to hang over a corner, and he had a heater near the entrance going full blast. The corner was covered in blankets and pillows and looked super cozy, and there was still a good view of the eastern sky so you could see the moon come up.
Mikey had helped you get comfortable, then handed you hot chocolate. You smiled when you looked around and saw all your favorites. Your peck on the cheek was greeted with a blush from your boyfriend as he sat down next to you and started serving you food.
You had to admit that Mikey was right as you both ate and watched the moon rise. It was a gorgeous sight, huge in a way you rarely get to see. “Almost as big as my love for you!” Mikey had proclaimed. You had told him to stop with a laugh, but your blush and the way you leaned into him gave you away. He had long since sussed out that you thought his cheesiness was sweet.
Now, Mikey is pulling out yet another container. “I couldn’t possibly eat more Mikey,” you protest. “You’ve spoiled me rotten and I’m fu-”
Once you see what Mikey has in the container, you are struck speechless with delight and awe. He has brought you Valentine’s chocolate. You could tell by the slight wonkiness that they are homemade, and you feel tears well in your eyes.
Next to the chocolates are some cookies, and your breath catches as you realize that they are the kind you made together on your first date, a spontaneous baking spree that had ended with the kitchen covered in flour and you and Mikey covered in kisses. The tears in your eyes start to fall.
“Aw babe,” Mikey says, juggling the container as he reaches out to wipe the tears from your cheeks. You grab his hand and press a kiss to each finger, then hold his hand to your cheek as you gaze into his warm blue eyes.
He sets the container down, eyes not leaving yours as his other hand comes up. You grab that one as well as he frames your face. He bites his lip, and you realize that you are about to discover why he is so nervous.
“I have a question,” Mikey starts hesitantly, and you nod and smile in encouragement. Surely he knows that he can ask anything of you. You agreed to a rooftop picnic on Valentine’s Day in New York City, for heaven’s sake.
His tongue wets his lips as he lowers his eyes and opens his mouth. “Ever since we moved into the new lair, there’s been a lot more space, you know? I mean, we each have multiple rooms. And I guess it gets kind of lonely sometimes, you know?”
His fingers tap against the fresh tears on your cheeks. You don’t think he realizes that the tears are there, or that you know what he’s getting at. You curl your lips into your teeth to prevent your response from bursting out, wanting to let him ask the question first.
“So, I thought that maybe, if you, you know… were cool with it or whatever… if you maybe wanted to think about moving in?”
Your eyes close and you smile as he continues to ramble. “I mean! I know it’s not the best accommodations, but we all love you, and it would be nice if maybe we could all spend more time together, and maybe we could sleep together more often! Although if you want your own room instead that’s cool too! Whatever my angel wants she gets.”
You reach out and put a hand to his lips before he can ramble any further. He looks up, startling at the fresh tears on your face and the beatific smile on your face.
“Mikey,” you have to pause for a moment as your happiness overwhelms you, “I would love nothing more than to move in with you.”
It is as if the sun has risen, here in your little rooftop corner with Mikey, as he smiles back at you.
65 notes · View notes
enden-k · 7 months
Note
i was scrolling down your profile bc i haven't been much on tumblr lately. the point is i totally agree with your post about haitham finding very attractive kaveh's quick math, istg that's just so 💕💕💕 (internally screaming) (in a positive way). i also think kaveh would sometimes stop and appreciate (or diss) any kind of structure that catches his attention whenever they walk together, sometimes hthm finds that adorable and sometimes finds it exhasperating, something like “kaveh it's the fifth time you stop to tell me about the materials of the building. let's go home already please”. i also think kaveh had rambled about architecture things drunk at least twice. i have many thoughts about them lol sorry, have a nice day !!
absolutely!! he rambles about it sm that haitham learned a lot about it just from listening so when theres a time when kaveh is ruffling his hair in frustration over some problem he encounters and thinking way too hard and complicated about it (bc sometimes we just think complicated even if theres a simpler solution right in front of us right), haitham makes an offhanded comment with the solution right there and it has kaveh blinking even more in confusion bc
since when does haitham know things like that (actually, its not that surprising since he loves to read about whatever catches his interest at that time so he does know a lot of random shit)
how tf is it even right
(he quickly scribbles it down and voilà, material/functionality problem solved with really satisfactory results)
he side eyes haitham whos just preparing his tea in peace and asks him how he knew what material would be fitting for both functionality and aesthetic for this particular building and design and haitham just shrugs his shoulders really nonchalantly and goes "you talk an awful lot", making kaveh realize that this insufferable scribe really means "i listen to everything you ramble about" in his usual way and it does smth to his heart and stomach
(yea i also have many thoughts oughhhgh...have a nice day as well <3)
95 notes · View notes
charlottesbookclub · 2 months
Text
like real people do (alistair x reader) 💜💜
Summary: honestly there's no real plot, just pure fluff. Alistair tries to adjust to having a human mate, and he's trying really hard 🥹
Warnings/Tags: gn!reader, mention of skipping a meal (not intentionally), mentions of eating, Alistair being awkward and a bit rude lol, basically just pure tooth-rotting fluff, but as always, let me know if I've missed anything!
Words: 1,634
Author’s Note: me, writing a twilight fanfic in the year of our lord 2024? it's more likely than you think. uhhh yeah I have no real explanation for this except that I have stumbled back into my Alistair obsession and I just wanted to write a cute little something for him. I don't think this is my best work, but at least it made me smile, so that's something. honestly I have no idea if there's anyone else out here reading fanfic for an incredibly minor twilight character, but if there is, I hope you enjoy whatever this is! I was thinking of making this a little series of Alistair trying his damndest to figure out human stuff, so do let me know if you have any interest in that. but okay I'll stop rambling now - enjoy! 💖
            A message pinged through on your computer, and you looked away from your work for a moment, pulling up the chatbox. It was Lucy from the front desk: 
hey – someone’s here to see you
who?
hard to describe – and i’m having a hard time getting his name
You chuckled softly to yourself, having a sneaking suspicion you knew exactly who it was. Odd that he would willingly put himself in a situation that forced him to speak with other people though. Your laughter turned into a small frown as you considered the fact that something might be wrong. You and Alistair hadn’t been together long, but you knew about his aversion to others well enough to wonder what could bring him into proximity of the possibility of needing to engage in small talk.
be right there
You pushed back from your desk and hurried down to the lobby. Lucy was obviously waiting for you to arrive, and she met you with a mildly panicked look, gesturing with her head toward the tall man standing awkwardly in the corner of the lobby. Thanks to his heightened senses, he had noticed your arrival long before Lucy, and was already striding across the floor toward you at a pace that was just barely slow enough to be considered human. You made a mental note to ask Carlisle to gently review normal human behaviors with him. You just managed to give Lucy a quick thumbs-up to indicate that you knew the tousled man before he bustled the two of you back toward your office.
“Alistair, what the hell?” you asked as he ushered you inside and closed the door behind him.
“What a truly awful system,” he muttered to himself, clearly continuing a rant he was already halfway through rather than answering your question. “I mean really, how many idiots should I have to go through to see my partner?” You just crossed your arms and leaned back against the edge of your desk, a bemused smile starting to fight its way onto your face. You knew it was no use interrupting him until he had gotten everything out. “’Would you like something do drink?’” He parroted Lucy’s question mockingly. “No I bloody well would not – unless you’ve got a few bags of blood stored away back there,” he retorted to this fictional Lucy sarcastically. “Zounds, how hard is it to just point me in the right direction and leave me in peace?” His words faded into muttering and soft curses in a version of English that hadn’t been spoken for hundreds of years.
“Alistair,” you said quietly, breaking him out of his monologue. His talking to himself had seemed strange at first, but the more you learned about his life before meeting you, the more it made sense. He had been his only company for so long and was only now slowly adjusting to speaking with other people again. You, however, found it incredibly endearing and hoped he didn’t break himself of the habit completely. 
His focus snapped to you instantly when he heard your voice, and he started murmuring apologies that you quickly brushed off.
“Alistair, it’s fine,” you assured him, sending him a warm smile and softly placing your hand on his forearm. Touch was another thing that was coming back to him only slowly. You had learned to proceed cautiously, gently, making sure he knew that you were about to touch him before making contact. The words stilled on his lips as his eyes focused in on the place where your warm palm met his cold skin.
“Alistair,” you said quietly after a moment of letting him adjust to the contact. His eyes traveled back up to your face at the sound of his name on your lips. “Is something wrong?”
“I—no,” the words tumbled out awkwardly, and you could almost see him trying to say three different sentences at the same time. If he still had blood under his skin, you were certain he would be blushing. Knowing that eye contact made conversation even more difficult for him, you flicked your eyes down toward your hand still on his arm, gently pulling it from where it hung limply at his side. You cradled his large hand in both of yours and began tracing mindless patterns on his skin, hoping this would give him enough of a reprieve to gather his thoughts. He took a deep breath and tried again. 
“Nothing is seriously wrong, but I— well I… worried about you.” This instantly caught your attention, and you looked up again almost without thinking, only to find his ruby eyes gazing back down at you with a softness you were just beginning to recognize.
“Alistair, I promise, I’m just fine,” you assure him.
“But… well… I noticed you didn’t eat breakfast this morning.” You tilted your head, wondering why that was such a cause for concern that he would willingly subject himself to the horror of checking in at your work.
“I was just running a little late and didn’t have time to make myself anything,” you explained, hoping that would ease his mind, “there’s always snacks in the break room, so I figured I’d have something when I got here.”
“I understand, but humans in your age group are supposed to eat three balanced meals per day, with the addition of one to three snacks. Lack of nutrients can result in many deficiencies, which in turn can lead to side effects like headache, dizziness, and trouble concentrating.”
You couldn’t stop the smile that was growing on your face as you listened to him recite this knowledge as though he had memorized it straight from a Wikipedia article. However, you seriously doubted Alistair’s ability to navigate the internet, since Carlisle had only recently convinced him to try using a flip phone.
“Where did you hear about this?” you asked, trying to remain serious and stifling the giggles that were rising in your throat.
“I’ve been reading Carlisle’s medical texts,” he responded with a furrowed brow, “I want to make sure I understand all the risks and ensure that I am prepared for every eventuality.”
If you hadn’t been completely in love with him yet, this would have undoubtably sealed the deal. He may be awkward and eccentric and even difficult at times, but he was trying so so hard to care for you in the best way he knew how. Although the whole situation was still incredibly amusing, you simply couldn’t bring yourself to laugh at him, even if it was all in affection. Instead, you raised yourself slowly to your tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you for thinking of me,” you said as you lowered yourself back onto your heels. Your chaste kiss seemed to have frozen him for a moment, as he stood there completely still, his soft squeeze of your hand the only indicator that he was still present in the room. You let him recalibrate, and as he came back himself, he made a soft exclamation as though he had just remembered something. Reluctantly releasing your hand, he swung a small backpack off his shoulder. 
“I brought you some breakfast,” he explained as he pulled a jumble of containers out of the bag and placed them on your desk, “I tried to make sure I balanced all the proper nutrients to ensure you wouldn’t suffer any adverse effects from not having eaten this morning.”
You busied yourself with looking at all the containers of food to hide the tears that were welling in your eyes. You had never had someone care for you so completely like this before. Unfortunately, your plan didn’t work, since the awkwardly yet earnestly prepared food only brought more tears to your eyes. You had never expected that strangely cut fruit, mangled pancakes, and soggy cereal sitting in its own milk would make you cry with joy, but the amount of thought and care that had clearly gone into each piece of the meal was about to reduce you to ugly sobs.
You could feel Alistair watching you intently as you opened each of the containers, seemingly trying to gauge your response. When he couldn’t bear it any longer, he finally broke the silence. 
“If you don’t like it, I—I’m happy to go out and buy you something. I haven’t had human food in so long and even—even then I didn’t actually prepare it so I tried reading some of Carlisle’s recipe books but I think I still didn’t get it right—” 
“Alistair,” you didn’t normally like to cut him off, but you refused to let his anxious rambling sew any seeds of doubt in his mind. “It’s absolutely perfect – I can’t wait to taste it all!”
Alistair beamed at you then, a rare sight, but a welcome one.
“I just have one question though,” you said, and he looked at you quizzically, waiting for your inquiry. “Can I give you a hug?”
Confusion turned to elation on his face, and he spread his arms in assent and anticipation. You threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you wiped away a few escaped tears. His arms closed around your back hesitantly, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them, but his uncertainty seemed to fade as you melted into his grasp, and he wrapped you even more tightly in his embrace. 
Both of you were smiling when you finally pulled away. You settled into your desk chair and motioned to Alistair to pull up another. He sat just close enough that your knees could touch as you surveyed the feast before you. 
“What do you think I should start with?” you asked him.
“Maybe the pancakes? I’m rather proud of those.”
29 notes · View notes