#because i was born wrong or something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kulvefaggoth · 2 years

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#i should stop torturing myself with romantic thoughts #i should delete all the flirty memes #i need to accept nobody is going to love me when i want them to #'boys i like' and 'boys who like me' are two completely separated groups #i'm just not gonna be in a relationship #26 years of being single should've taught me that lesson #but i keep hoping and getting myself sad over it #why?#i need to give up already #hit my head against the wall every time i have feelings or interest in somebody #they're never gonna reciprocate anyway #i was doomed from the start to be alone #my friends are all gonna go on to marry and have their own little lives #and I'll still be single #and alone #because i was born wrong or something #wish i could have success in anything else at least #if i had money at least i could have fun #or something to occupy my mind #but nope #major loser in every way #what a joy

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otaku553 · 2 months

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Procrastination doodles of sabo for the king sabo au :)

#one piece #sabo #king sabo au #I wonder sometimes if I keep thinking about this au because i like putting my blorbo through crushing existential nightmares #something something. it must feel so wrong to him. to be born like this and know that he’s not suppose to be there #but not having the memories of times in the wild with his brothers to contextualize why he feels wrong or where he’s supposed to be instead #directionless. knowing that he has to exist for some reason but not the reason that everyone around him tells him he should exist for #and continuing to try to bridge the cognitive dissonance through fallacy after fallacy until he is in too deep to escape #anyways. thinking about Him #Him is the academia mentality of ‘just keep going and you’ll eventually reach the light at the end of the tunnel’#‘because you’ve tried so hard to get here and surely you must belong here because you’re so academically highly-achieving’#does that make sense? maybe the parallel is a bit of a reach. I could write an essay about it tbh #I love this au lmao it’s both a lot of projecting and a great chance to be like ‘god I can make him so much worse’

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nicoleanell · 11 months

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Renfield (2023)

#renfield #renfield 2023 #robert montague renfield #nicholas hoult #renfieldedit #(he fucked that old man)#you were just born in the wrong century babe you could've had a quarter life crisis without involving vampires in it 😥#(i would love to yell into the void sometime about accountability without shame because man this part hit something pretty deep in me #for a film where ben schwartz snorts a centipede)

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starppleb · 1 year

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Lonely broken child

"I have bad and good news," announced Tim almost falling into the room. "Start with bad news," muttered Bruse, taking a sip from the cup. Batkids tensed. Of course, a lovely morning when everyone (somehow) managed to all together enjoy breakfast had to be destroyed by some good-bad news. "I'll start from a good one," continued Tim "Bruce, you had more far family relatives than you knew." "And a bad one?" "They died and now their youngest son has no one to be with because another side of the family doesn't want to take 'sick freaky kid' in." 'Well, it could have been worse,' thought Bruce. "And his sister described his condition as 'walking dead'," added Tim. Jason snorted before his face fell with a frown. "How old is the kid?" Asked Jason with worry. "13." Jason choked on his drink and excused himself. 'Well, it can't be even worse,' thought Bruce. "And-," started Tim. "There is more!?" Cried out Jason from another room. "-And some people accuse him of being guilty in an accident in which died his parents." That morning is indeed quite interesting...

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roseofcards90 · 5 months

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The fact that people were so willing to completely dismiss what happened in After Pain and Harrow after they saw It's Not My Fault and Deep Cover paint Mu and Kotoko in a worse light really shows that some people don't have literary comprehension 😭

#it's almost as if nuance is a thing and that their pain isn't mutually exclusive from their actions lmao #the fact that some people actually thought Mu was lying about what she went through??? 😭 no tf she didn't the whole point #is that she is both a perpetrator and a victim and her inno verdict in t1 validated her thinking #which is why in t2 she doesn't shy away from not acting completely innocent because she fully believes she didn't do anything wrong #that's why I also didn't understand why people were so quick to dismiss Kotoko's vigilantism and say it was a complete lie #because Harrow shows us that it never really was a lie but rather something that became more and more distorted over time #as well as something Kotoko uses to validate herself because of her self hatred which again Harrow already hinted at lmao #it only got worse in Milgram but the whole point is that Kotoko's ideals which were born out of strong feelings against the evils #of the world became distorted and more selfish over time #idk people just like to reduce them to completely bad people and it annoys tf out of me #deep cover spoilers #milgram #mu kusunoki #kotoko yuzuriha #my posts

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buggbuzz · 4 months

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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??

#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man #i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it #and anyways im not actually a guy #im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet #and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious #im a fucking student geneticist dude #i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways #probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders #codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing #i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains #& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men #and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women #its an OLD study too #anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information #but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence #not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough #ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic #but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet #and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right #it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi #i dont fucking care it makes SENSE #'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly #nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon #especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude #that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley #combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like #nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology

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carcasstohounds · 11 months

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ok so like i’ve seen a few posts blaming mira and ephraim for what happened to ezra and i think that is. a weird take. anyway my personally belief is that tzeebo wasn’t their only plan for ezra if they were taken because they feel like the kind of people to have a network of allies if the goddamn governer of lothal was their friend. i also imagine that they weren’t the only people taken by the empire that night or afterwards, because i feel like it’s implied that they weren’t the only people speaking out against the empire? so like, they probably had a network of people to take care of ezra if something happened but that network dissolved due to arrests, people fleeing, etc etc until there was no way for anyone to find ezra or for ezra to find anyone else and then he was on his own and it was no one’s fault but the empire.

#star wars rebels #star wars #ezra bridger #people villainizing mira and ephraim are so weird 2 me #i don’t really know how to explain why i hate it so much but it’s just. something #maybe because it’s kind of victim blaming i guess? or saying like ‘speaking out is only okay if you’re the perfect voice for it’#which is funny because that is. exactly the opposite of what their broadcasts were about #anyway #also irl i think a lot of activists ARE parents. from what my own parents have said. having kids does change your perspective on the future #like yeah of course they spoke out. their kid was born on the day the empire took over and they watched the galaxy fall to even more shit.#they spoke out because they wanted things to be better for him and it’s not their fault that things went wrong

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laniemae · 5 months

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Uhh sorry guys but I think Trikoto might be dead

I was looking through the milgram app and when talking about the production of double and deco 27 specifically mentioned there being two Mikotos. It’s not a mistranslation either, I looked into it and the original phrase is “ふたりのミコトは果たしてこのあとどうなってしまうのでしょうか” and “ふたりのミコト” directly translates to “two Mikoto”.

I understand that people may be bummed by this or saying that Mikoto’s story is playing into stereotypes because of this. But personally I have hope, as trial 2 showed that John wasn’t just an “evil alter” stereotype that much and has a much deeper and interesting character comparable to everything else. Although it’s a bit iffy that it was a bait and switch in the first place because there would still be people who’d take it face value. But personally as someone here said (I forgot who I’m sorry) “the best way to do an overused trope is to do it right” which could apply in this situation. I know there are mixed opinions here and personally I have hope but this is just my take on what is very likely the de-conformation of the trikoto theory.

#milgram #milgram theory #mikoto kayano #There’s also a popular theory in the fandom that there were other alters but John forced them into dormancy or something else happened #As he said he was born due to stress from work and did develops in childhood and Mikoto definitely has implied childhood trauma #So maybe something happened thag just left mikoto and John?#There’s also the line in the trial 2 teaser which at first would make you think that it was about when John claimed to kill random people #But when you start to realise what he said was very likely a lie what he could mean in that line about beating annoying people wqs #He was talking about the others and was twisting the truth in the vd #I hope it goes this way because it’d be pretty stupid to say he got it as an adult #But personally I have hope kinda #I feel like I might’ve said something wrong here

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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I just think it's weird how people go, "well every man/woman hates being a man/woman, so you probably aren't trans!" is seen as, like, a valuable argument. I have certainly heard people complain about the experiences they have because of their gender, but that's where it stops. I think, though, that trans and cis people have a vested interest in making gender less restrictive because I have noticed cis people also don't like gender essentialism - that's also what cis people tend to hate, too, even if they aren't aware that that is what they hate.

I don't know how to stress this enough, and I feel like I have said this a million times, but trans people by and large do not have to hate our previous gender - and we often don't! Trans people often hate being forced into a gender we aren't, or being forced to conform to an incorrect gender, but that by no means indicates that trans people hate a certain gender.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #transphobia #transphobia tw #like the t//erf talking point that trans men don't exist because 'EVERY woman hates being a woman so that's why ftms exist!!!1!'#i remember when i saw tiktok reuploaded reels of women using the 'how i LOVE being a woman' audio and it's like???#and also *talking* to women and noticing they do *not* hate being a woman - they imagine other life that excludes them being women #even in the most misogynistic of worls women still exist and they still *enjoy* womanhood at the exclusion of misogyny #but misogyny isn't the default and it ISN'T inherent to womanhood. the idea that it is only subjugates everybody #my point is that cis people don't tend to despise their gender just because it's their gender and the idea that they do is missing the mark #and so so so many trans people are kept in the closet because they're convinced that something is wrong with them #when there ISN'T anything wrong with them - there never was. they are just born and/or created with a different plan

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adamwarlock · 11 months

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I can't take it anymore. People who infantilize mcu Adam Warlock this is me when I get you

#yes he's newborn and still learning but please... he's not an actual baby. he's smart. he's capable. he has a ego the size of the universe.#there's something fundamentally WRONG with him and it's not because he was born prematurely.#adam warlock #goes in the tag I MEAN IT #I need the mcu to rip that childish carefree attitude from him. I need him insane and suffering. I need him dead and crucified.#text

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cowboy-robooty · 8 months

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no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way

#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true #yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT #im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe #me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga #and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita)#i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time.#like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era #but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent #like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit #they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.'#ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT #its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit #instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time #its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life #i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me #i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit?#i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant #because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday #its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros #ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition #itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros #and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay #idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager #content #robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me #robooty kun

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childrenofthesun77 · 2 months

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Were akira and tooru also orphans?

Mahiru never mentions maternal grandparents, at one point he realizes that when akira died his uncle also became alone and while it doesn't have to mean anything I did find it interesting that when they were still in school and tooru asked touma to come to his house to eat he said akira would cook for them and not their mother or father. When mahiru thinks about heroes always coming back smiling we saw a flashback of akira coming back after apparently leaving a very young mahiru in tooru's care, not with her parents.

The discussion at akira's funeral service also made it sound like the people were more extended family than close family? Where is the rest of the shirota family? Is it just them?

#servamp #mahiru shirota #akira shirota #tooru shirota #time for another absolute crack theory that has close to no basis but I would find it funny if it came true #what if akira and tooru were also children born out of wedlock #and they were mikage's children #mikage does look similar to mahiru which always suprised me a bit #why is his hair dark when most other family members are blond?#it's an odd artistic choice #anyway the only reason why I even started thinking about this is because sigurd mentioned that 3 people survived drinking the counts blood #which created three magical bloodlines #I could be wrong but whatever is up with mahiru being because of his heritage makes the most sense to me #and nor lily or touma seem aware of it #so it sounds like it might be because of an even older family secret in the shirota family #what if two bloodlines secretly crossed when akira was born and with akira having a son with touma all three crossed #and that causes...something we have yet to learn #Again just a crack theory but this all being just a giant family drama makes me laugh #mahiru and misono/mikuni would be half cousins lol

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designernishiki · 9 months

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ok gonna be real I’ve never understood the “daigo is like a son to me” route that the writers took with kiryu. they’ve never, at least for most of their time knowing each other, felt like they’ve had a father and son dynamic– an older brother/younger brother one sure, or maybe a young uncle/nephew one. because I mean? they’ve known each other since they were both kids and they’re literally only 8 years apart in age. in y0 it’s implied that kiryu played with him and babysat him more or less when he was around 16-20 and it just doesn’t feel like a Dad sort of thing At All. kiryu was also a kid. just an older kid. daigo was a little brat to him just like an annoying little brother while secretly thinking of kiryu as a Cool Teenager he looked up to and wanted to be more like. it feels way more like an older/younger sibling sort of thing or something akin to that and it only starts being a little more like a father/son dynamic some time after daigo loses his father and feels the need to fill the void– which he couldn’t even begin to do until at least ten years later because kiryu was in prison. and it’s not particularly in a healthy way either, considering. well. like I said. kiryu’s never actually been like a father to him. I don’t even mean that in a negative way in this case, it’s just literally not the role kiryu fundamentally had in his life (especially because their age difference is a good 10-20 years too close to be that of a parental relationship.) so idk. having kiryu say all of a sudden that he sees daigo as a son (especially rather than as family in some other way) just feels kinda. wrong. and jarringly unfounded.

I mean shit, even majima would be more of a dad-ish figure to daigo realistically considering kiryu basically assigned him to look after daigo for like. years. while kiryu just kinda left without any known plans of reconnecting at all. or even kashiwagi on a certain level because of how he stepped in alongside yayoi after sohei’s death. kiryu has barely been around, hasn’t really showed any interest in legitimately being in his life, and has barely had any deeply personal interactions with him since they were basically both kids. and as much as I think how long they’ve known each other and what they’ve both been through is a means for a familial bond of SOME kind, there just seems like no room or evidence for a paternal role being taken on.

at least nothing healthy in that regard; if kiryu’s like a dad to him then he’s undoubtedly a deadbeat one and perhaps feels like a dad to daigo in a way because daigo’s paternal model (his birth father) was also emotionally (and probably largely physically) absent and near-impossible to live up to. that’d at least make sense, regardless of how unhealthy it’d be, but it STILL really doesn’t explain kiryu saying he thinks of daigo like a son.

it’s just. it’s such a weird thing to have him say and I wish it was this confusing because of nuance but honestly I just think the writers watered their dynamic down to supposedly father/son because it seems more emotionally impactful for kiryu to say “you’re like a son to me” than anything else he could’ve potentially said about their bond.

#kiryu #daigo #rambling #sorry this is out of nowhere I just was thinking about their dynamic in y0 and it really hit me that like #yeah they’re. not that far apart in age.#kiryu was 7-8 years old when daigo was born. not exactly Father Age #and moreover it’s the fact that they grew up together As Kids to an extent #can you imagine if you and your father were both in your 20s or 30s At The Same Time #that’s. not a big age gap #also let me be clear I don’t think majima’s a paternal figure to daigo that was just an example to say like. even He has more basis in a way #for that to make sense #but even with majima- the age difference thing still kinda gets me because they’re only like 11ish years apart #like yeah majima’s significantly more mature don’t get me wrong but.#daigo’s dad is of a dad-like age to majima as well if you wanna put it in perspective.#makes it less weird when he highkey flirts with/sexualizes daigo in dead souls. like it’s okay. they’re not far apart in age enough to where #it’s Super Uncomfortable or something #another way of looking at this stuff is just considering that daigo and kiryu are both technically in the same generation #doesn’t particularly mean much but it’s still interesting to consider. they’re both solidly gen X (despite daigo absolutely feeling like he #should be a millennial).#majima’s technically (though just barely) a boomer so do with that what you will. that’s unrelated I just wanted to mention it cause it’s #funny to me #anyway I got off track. I hope any of this made sense

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huccimermaidshirts · 9 days

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#had to listen to ttpd out of plain curiosity because everyone was saying how much it didn't deliver and well they weren't lying #they weren't lying about the lana comparisons either! who's afraid of little old me sounds like born to die in the verses #it's very flat tbh like you're listening to the same songs over and over #it's very hollow like the album was just made just to be made in order to keep her name afloat and relevant #not because she had something to actually say and express. her song delivery is very flat and unemotional idek how to properly express what #i mean. like she sings with no actual emotion behind the words no nerve no nothing. like she can't actually convince me that she's feeling #all that she's singing. also like the music is all the same and the way she sings them. there's no fluctuations no diversity. it's the same #song over and over. also sometimes i feel like the lyrics and the delivery don't really go together with the music #like they don't compliment each other #But Daddy I Love Him is supposedly over her fans trying to dictate her life (i have all sorts of opinions on that but it's a diff convo) an #it had 0 nerve and anger in it. i needed a little more intense a little more angry. i liked down bad and Florida (thank god for Florence 😭)#and all the breathy low vocals are not it either. it kind of makes the album flatter. there's no tension no passion in the album #definitely feels like she's trying to recreate 1989 and maybe folklore/evermore and it's not working #also people comparing this album to midnights are not wrong either #it feels like her last few releases all sound the same with no creativity or bringing something new and amazing #she really needs a break and to take a step back re-evaluate and try to create something more inspiring and fun instead of trying to #recreate the same sound over and over again. releasing album after album in such a short period of time is bound to hinder creativity and #the quality of someone's work. and maybe she does need new people to work with that will push her creatively #also i feel like she doesn't need to create such long albums. especially if you're using the same sound in every song. like one song morpths #into the other and it gets boring! especially if there's little to no build up and tension holding the song and having breathy vocals that #lead to nowhere during each song! anyway it could've been a whole lot better and she has better songs than this

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analyzingadventure · 10 months

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so that picture of gatomons egg falling gave me two thoughts. first: wow her shell is sturdy

and second: what would happen if a digiegg was cracked or smashed. i know some were broken in the corrupted village of beginnings but would they be re-reborn? do you think the eggs could heal from a crack or if it would just not matter

I mean for all we know, the DigiEggs could be literally indestructable (until they hatch), the shell is meant to protect the data of the forming Digimon until it is ready to be born after all, so maybe it could be Sturdy As Hell. The destroyed eggs in the Village could've been just a side-effect of the Village's destruction. Like the rebirth mechanic isn't tied as much to the eggs as it is to the Village itself, it is where Digimon data goes to be reborn. So if you destroy the Village and its ability to spawn DigiEggs, that alone could result in not just the end of egg spawning, but also a spontaneous destruction of the remaining eggs. Or maybe Piemon went stomping on the remaining eggs for funsies, who knows

OR maybe the eggs aren't indestructable, and Tailmon's egg just conveniently landed on something soft that broke the fall, or maybe she was a viable baby and just hatched on impact. I don't think she would've survived otherwise, it would make sense if DigiEggs kinda worked like normal eggs; the baby takes it time until it's ready to be born, if it's completely broken before the baby is viable (/the data is ready to form as a Digimon), the baby dies

That said, the data would probably just restart forming in another egg. Or maybe the egg would just start healing, why bother with making a whole new egg shell when you could just reform the pieces of the egg that still remain (if there are any)

#Asks #Text post #I do kinda like the idea of DigiEggs being indestructable #One because the idea of a DigiEgg getting thrown into a volcano and surviving is funny #Or getting used as ammunition for a bazooka or something (the most powerful bullet; an egg)#But also the idea that the environment the egg spent time in (if not in a Village) could influence the Digimon is neat #But there's many headcanons one could make about DigiEggs #And how they function #“But why did Takeru go out of his way to protect the egg if it couldn't break”#I mean it's not like the kids knew the eggs wouldn't break #“But why was Gennai worried about what would happen to the eggs then”#The babies could be born into the wrong crowd and get raised into naughty little boys or get killed as infants #But also the Digivices were hooked up to the eggs so like #Maybe there was some kind of a process happening where the Digimon were getting matched to the Digivices #And Gennai didn't want that process to get disrupted/messed up #There's so much wild speculation one could do #Think I'll stop now before I go completely off the rails lmao

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samiferboy · 3 months

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i am not immune to the idea of s1-2 samifer

#avery.txt #young sam being so desperate and confused and distraught bc he thought he could escape this life but no. he couldn't #and here's this easy calm confident man who tells him it'll be alright bc he's strong and capable #sam keeps having nightmares but sometimes this man shows up and pushes them away and makes him feel at peace #not to be all freudian abt it but he never had this support from his father & now there's this handsome man encouraging and accepting him #so he feels Something. and it's fine because it's just this recurring dream right?#but then he finally is able to ask this dream man what/who he is and. he says he's an angel. who's been watching over sam since he was born #(this is a scenario where lucifer gets out of the cage 4 seasons early ig)#and sam finally feels SEEN. he finally feels like his faith has been worth it.#he throws caution to the wind. grabs his angel and kisses him. tells him he wants him even tho he knows its wrong.#and his angel is kinda taken aback. this was NOT where he saw this going/where he was trying to steer it. he didn't think sam would do THAT.#but he gives sam what he wants and oh. it's GOOD. sam dreams that he shows his angel all the love his angel has given him.#idk where this goes/what the endgame would be here but. i love young sam still grieving jess and searching for his dad or grieving for him #*being swept up by someone who gives him what he needs and cares about him unconditionally #and doesnt care that he ran away. that he doesnt obey. that he doesnt fit the mold. someone who loves these things about him.#i love them so much in every possible way <3 con or noncon <3 varying lvls of fucked up <3 love all of it

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