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buglife · 3 years

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Bend and Not Break - Ch 5: Epilogue - Hands Down

Read here on AO3 :3

As much as Quirrel enjoyed having a ‘break’, it was starting to get on his nerves.

Ever since he woke up from his pseudo coma two weeks ago, he had been doing nothing but lie in bed and get doted on every single second of the day. He understood why, he had inadvertently scared his family and friends after the assassination attempt and they were still worried. It was a close call, and Ghost especially was more protective than usual because of it. Even when the Knights cleared the doctors on duty, they had been reluctant to let any of them near him. He had to reassure his love that doctors tend to know what they are doing and to let them do their jobs. After getting actual doctors involved, he started to feel better. They at least weren’t like his mother, having bugs spy on him to make sure he stayed in bed. She was serious about her threat and he didn't dare test her.

He was also rather surprised to get an entire sack of mail just for him. All of them were well wishes from various citizens, happy to learn that he’ll be okay. He quickly realized that it would be impossible to personally reply to them all, so he got some retainers to write some thank you notes in return. His mother raised him to be polite, after all, and he was touched by the letter. He resolved to keep them as soon as he could figure out where to put them all.

He felt awful. For a while it hurt to breathe and move. Apparently, the poison affected his nerves and the constant spasms had caused some damage. The high fever did not help much either, and it took several days before he could function without pain medication. He had decided after everything was said and done, to never see soup again as long as he lived. He had consumed enough soup to last an entire lifetime, and if Ghost brought him one more bowl of soup he would throw said bowl out the nearest window. Ghost promised not bring any more soup...only to bring him a bisque for dinner that night.

Sometimes he thought that his mother has had an adverse affect on his spouse.

Thankfully, there wasn’t going to be any permanent damage from the poisoning. He would still be tired and weak for a while as his body worked to repair itself, but he wasn’t in danger anymore. The bed rest however, he wasn’t too fond of, not when there was so much to do still. Sure...he slept a lot...but it was the principle of the matter. He was perfectly able to sit up in bed and catch up on paperwork, but he wasn’t even allowed to do that.

How miserable it is, to be on a mandatory vacation, especially for a bug that was used to just...getting up and doing things.

The only good thing about it was that Ghost would carry him to their personal hot spring in the bathroom and they could spend some time together. Being so busy, they often only saw each other briefly through the day and only had an hour or so before bed before exhaustion claimed them both. It was nice to be able to just relax together, listening to random gossip and updating the various running betting pools. So far, Quirrel had 100 Geo riding on Lurien showing up to court high next time they arranged a meeting together. Ghost bet that he wouldn’t, but Quirrel knows Lurien and Lurien deals with social anxiety by removing social anxiety entirely. It was good to laugh again after such a tense week. Eventually, Ghost started taking up duties again while Quirrel’s health continued to improve.

There came the matter of the prisoners left alive, but Quirrel needed to talk to someone first before he made a decision.

Once he was cleared to walk around again, he and his spouse headed to one of the royal suites. Once doctors were cleared, Poppy the scorpion had been moved from protective custody in the dungeon up to a much nicer room to recover in. From what Quirrel understood from both Xena’s reports and Ghost’s commentary, Poppy was an innocent victim in all this. Venomous bugs tended to get quite a bit of discrimination despite how hard they worked to turn public opinion around. Times were changing for sure, one of the archive researchers, a bee-fly, had recently became engaged to her tarantula girlfriend. It was slow going, however, and he wanted to be sure that Poppy would be alright in the end.

He paused outside her door and knocked. “Remember dear, to be gentle with her. It’s probably going to be intimidating to meet with both rulers at once.”

Ghost nodded. “I’ll behave.”

“You better.” Quirrel smirked.

“Hello! Come in!” Came a the voice on the other side of the door. Ghost took the knob, turning it and opening the door for the both to step inside.

The scorpion was sitting in bed, looking much better than what Xena had first described. The softer parts of her chitin was returning to a healthy golden brown and much of her bandages have been removed. Her damaged eye had started to heal, and besides the odd crack or two in her shell, there wasn’t much visible indication of her harrowing ordeal. From was understood, she still needed plenty of rest and food, but she was well enough to finally go home with an escort from Deepnest.

She was clearly only expecting a doctor or someone else other than a royal, because as soon as she spotted the two kings her eyes widened and she started twitching.

“Oh! Oh I am so sorry!” She clasped her many hands together, eyes darting about as she wondered if she should bow or curtsy or anything else other than just sitting in bed. Quirrel held up a hand before she could work herself into a panic attack.

“It’s alright. We’re just here to check up on you.”

She tilted her head. “Really? Um…” She nervously fiddled her pincers together. “I’m... I’m sorry that this all happened. I never wanted to hurt any bugs, I swear!”

“You aren’t in trouble. We know this wasn’t your fault. You seem like a sweet bug, I’m sorry you had to go through all this.” Quirrel said kindly, taking a seat next to one side of the bed. Ghost took the other side and chirped in encouragement.

“We just want to make sure you will be okay, before my sister comes to help you back home.” Ghost signed each word slowly to make sure Poppy could see it with her bad eye. They patted one of her hands, attempting to show a bit of comfort without completely freaking her out.

“Thank you.” She sounded relieved, most likely she thought she was about to get thrown in the dungeon for her unwilling part in this. “It was really nice of you to give me this room until I felt better.”

“To be honest, you deserved at least something nice after all of that. We aren’t even your rulers and yet you refused to work willingly with the conspirators.”

“You weren’t even a warrior, you are a flower bug. It takes immense courage to stand up for what is right even in the face of pain and fear.”

The scorpion blushed blue from the praise, looking like she wanted to duck under the covers and hide, but didn’t out of social politeness. “Um...thanks...your majesties.” She squeaked, deciding instead to hide her face in her pincers for a moment. She was clearly not used to such comments.

Quirrel sighed, thinking of the best way to word the question he wanted to ask. “I apologize for having to bring up what you went through...but there is something we’d like to know, if you would be so kind to answer. We still have some of the conspirators in the dungeon, including the ring leader. If you had a choice, what would you do with them?”

“You mean...like...keeping them in jail or executing them?” She twiddled her claws in thought.

Ghost nodded. “Yes. Technically it would be up to us because of the treason and attempted regicide. But you were also hurt and you are not one of our citizens, and Deepnest deserves an opinion too. We would just like to know your thoughts.”

“Well...um...I don’t...I don’t want more bugs to die.” She shrank a little into herself as she collected her thoughts. “I mean, my momma always said that you can’t um…learn a lesson if you’re dead, ya know? Maybe they could still learn to be good bugs if someone taught them how, if that’s okay…”

Quirrel smiled. “Those are certainly wise words. We’ll take that into consideration when we make a final decision together.”

“We’ll leave you be for now, your escort will be here to collect you once we are done with our meeting. Is there anything else you need before then?” Ghost tilted their head in a smile, echoing their husband.

“No, you all have been so nice! Thank you so much!” She beamed. “I can’t wait to go home and check on my flowers!”

“Good, who knows, we might drop In to say hello sometime.” Quirrel laughed, leaning in closer to mock whisper. “Don’t tell anyone this, but Ghost’s sibling, Hollow, loves flowers. Their room is practically a jungle.”

“Hollow the Kind? Oh! Oh yes we get some really rare and pretty flowers! I’ll save a few for when you drop by!” Clearly this was the route to go, because now Poppy was vibrating in excitement. Her eyes sparkled, now more busy thinking about flowers than being nervous. “If their room is as big as this one, they might like some Strongylodon macrobotrys! Cypripedioideae might also be nice, there’s enough humidity for those!” She started muttering under her breath, scientific names and common names blending together as she thought aloud.

“Don’t worry, once you are situated and back in business, we’ll come take a look.” Quirrel put a stop to her rambling for now. “I’m afraid we must leave for now, but do send a letter to the palace once you are open again.”

“Thanks! I will!” She was practically shining in joy. Both Ghost and Quirrel gave her a polite little bow, and then left her on her own. She was alone within moments, with nothing to do now but to wait for her escort to take her home again.

She started to vibrate again. Inspiration was coming to her, and she cannot be stopped!

She wondered if she could get a hold of a Amorphophallus titanum, something told her that it was a flower that the royal family would get a kick out of for sure.

---

Hornet sat, awaiting her siblings and adopted brother within the meeting room. Two weavers sat with her, one on either side. She wished she could be here for a friendly visit, she honestly did miss her siblings. Alas, the work of a princess is never finished, and she did not envy her mother, the queen, in any way shape or form. Sure her mother commanded respect and power, but the sheer amount of shit she had to put up with in a day makes Hornet grateful that it’ll be a long time before she has to pick up the crown. She thankfully just had this one matter to finish and then she could go home and hide away from other bugs for a while.

Unfortunately, she was stuck with Tiso, who kept making faces at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Tiso, if you keep doing that, I will pull that tongue right out of your mouth.” She hissed, but her words weren’t completely full of malice. She fingered the needle in her hands, the urge to stab rising.

“Sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship.” He replied, grinning widely. “I don’t think my girls would like that.”

“I would stab you in the head, but I think I would miss your brain from how small it is.”

“Why do you have to be so mean, Hornet.” Tiso fake pouted. “I happen to have a nice brain...I think.”

“Because someone in this family has to be the mean one, and I take on that position with pride.” She bared her own fangs at the ant. She had more fangs than a spider ought to have for sure. Tiso however, had no fucks to give and thus wasn't intimidated at all.

Before Tiso could antagonize her further, the door to the room opened and in strolled the two rulers of Hallownest. Ghost made a beeline to Hornet, swiftly grabbing her up in a hug and purring loudly. “Sister!”

The weavers sighed, now used to all this. At first they freaked the fuck out when the eldritch god of a king picking up their crown princess and hugged her. Even more when they first heard the weird voice in their heads that belonged to said king. Now, it was routine.

“Hello, Ghost.” Hornet wheezed, getting thoroughly smooshed. With practiced ease, she wiggled herself out of their grip and dropped gracefully to the floor. She turned to regard the pillbug approaching her. “Hello Quirrel, I’m glad to see that you aren’t dead. I would have been quite disappointing in you if you died without my sibling’s express permission.”

He laughed and gave her a quick hug. “As if a little poison alone would kill me.”

“You’re a tougher bug than what I gave credit for.” She stepped back once the pleasantries were out of the way. “It boons well not only for my sibling, but for relations between our kingdoms.”

“You just say that because your mother loves watching you kick my ass up and down the village.” Quirrel sighed and took a seat at the table.

“She does enjoy seeing Deepnest having an equal and honorable relationship with the current diarchy.” She smoothly said, all but confirming Quirrel’s statement as she sat down as well. “It’s much easier to come to a mutual understanding when one honors the traditions and customs of the kingdom they are visiting. Only a bug willing to back up their words through conviction is worthy of mother’s time of day.”

“Yeah, but Herrah also gives us cookies after you beat us up. I didn’t know that was part of Deepnest’s honorable traditions.” Ghost added, sitting next to Quirrel and giving him a quick nuzzle.

“Of course it is!” Hornet snorted, tilting her head to the side and adding some amusement to her voice. “Only the worthy get cookies.”

“Am I worthy enough to get a cookie?” Tiso piped up.

“No.” She hissed.

“Mean.” He retorted, going back to guarding the door with a sigh.

“I believe we should get down to the nature of this meeting,” Quirrel finally cut in, arranging the quill and papers on the table. “Not only are you here to retrieve your citizen, but also to represent your mother in the discussions about the prisoners responsible for her harm.”

“Yes.” She cleared her throat, going into princess mode. “Under current Deepnest law, via our new treaty, citizens from Hallownest that commit crimes in Deepnest are to be extradited to Deepnest for punishment, and vise versa.”

“Well that makes things easier for sure.” Quirrel scribbled on a spare piece of paper. “We have prisoners directly responsible for the abduction and torture of your citizen. I believe Herrah already came to a decision on what is to become of them?”

“Yes. Ghost sent the letter a week ago, it gave mother plenty of time to think.” Hornet reached into her cloak, pulling out a letter written on spider silk. She slid it across the table for both Ghost and Quirrel. “She formally requests that the prisoners be transported to our dungeon, where they will be judged and tried by our people.”

“It will be done.” Ghost looked to Tiso and nodded. “Can you run that order down to the dungeons?”

“Sure, Squib.” Tiso saluted, and then was gone.

Hornet looked at Ghost with a frown after the ant departed. “You shouldn’t let him keep calling you ‘squib’ and the like, you are his king and he should respect you enough to use your title, even if you adopted him.”

“Can’t.” They just shrugged in response. “Big brother rights. It’s law.”

“I’m afraid that it’s true.” Quirrel nodded solemnly. “Especially since you let Hollow call you...what was it now? Their ‘Special Spooder Sister?' I’m guessing we should tell them to add a ‘Princess’ to that as well.”

“It’s okay love, clearly she wants to be referred to her proper title, Princess Angey Spooder. I apologize for not using it earlier, dear sister.”

“Next time we have an event, we will alert the guards to announce you with your proper title, Princess Precious Paws. Please excuse our ignorance.”

“OKAY, I GET IT.” She threw up her hands in frustration. “I’ll shut up about the nicknames!”

Both diarchs struggled to contain their laughter and were quickly losing. Quirrel was the first to crack, and quickly dragged Ghost down with him as they laughed.

The weaver guards looked at Hornet, who only returned a sigh and a head shake. “Yes yes, I exist to provide amusement to the both of you. Are we done here?”

Ghost snorted and wiped their eyes, reining in the lingering giggles. “Yeah, just be sure you are here next weekend for Sibling Day.”

“As if I would miss Hollow’s cooking.” She replied with a curt nod of her head. “Now, I will collect my wayward citizen and return to Deepnest. On behalf of Queen Herrah, Deepnest thanks you for your cooperation and care in regards of one of our own.”

“Hallownest is more than happy to work with Deepnest on whatever they need.” Ghost sat up straight and bowed their head, acting the part of a reining diarch. They tilted their head back up slightly, a hint of mayhem within as they looked directly at Hornet. “I will be sure to write a letter to Herrah, thanking her for allowing her most esteemed and beloved daughter to visit us, her Highness Princess Stabby Spider.”

It took all of Hornet’s grace and self control to NOT start a diplomatic incident. But boy...did she want to.

---

Quirrel looked over the crowd, spouse standing beside him as he once again found himself on a podium. Bugs were crowded in the streets and hanging off the buildings, all looking at him as he spoke. It was the same speech he had written what seemed like ages ago, but it seems like this time he’d be allowed to finish it. Any ounce of nervousness was squashed by a cool hand in his, squeezing once in a while to remind him that his spouse was there. It was very welcome, as he felt the constant urge to look to the rooftops of the buildings around them, ready to dodge in case another crossbow bolt came his way.

There were certainly more guards than usual, but it was understandable. He highly doubted another assassination attempt would be possible with how many guards were out and about. Most of the citizens didn’t seem to mind, watching and listening with smiles as he continued to prattle on. He didn’t feel like standing here all day, he had plans.

“And so we formally declare that the Hallownest Memorial Greenhouse is now open to the public! Feel free to inside and have a look! Thank you all for coming today, and we hope you all enjoy it!”

Finally, it was done. Ghost leaned against him as they watched the citizens filter into the multi-story greenhouse. They seemed to be having a good time, and they obviously didn’t need the two rulers to keep hanging around if not needed anymore.

“You know what,” Came the whisper of Ghost’s voice in Quirrel’s head. “Since we are done here...why don’t we do something?”

“Like what, dear?” Quirrel stretched, working out the kinks from standing up for so long.

“We could do something...spicy.” There was a devilish edge to their tone, a hand reaching around to squeeze his side. “We don’t have anything we have to do, we got plenty of time to...experiment a little.”

The pillbug couldn’t help but shiver a little, flashing a grin. “Oh ho...feeling adventurous today, are we?”

“I am.” Ghost reached down to scoop up their husband, not caring on who was watching the amount of tooth-rotting romance going down. “Let’s not waste any time, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for ages.”

Quirrel grinned, this was going to be fun.

---

“Ghost! Don’t rub your eyes after handling the peppers!”

A sharp echoing noise of pain leaked through the closed door and drifted into the hallways, stopping a pair of retainers in their tracks. They stood still for a moment, listening, unsure if they were going to be needed. They could hear one of their kings talking and the other apparently flailing around and knocking things over.

“Why the hell did you buy Dragon’s Breath peppers then? They are supposed to burn!”

A few dishes shattered and there came a slosh of water.

��Love! Stop! I’ll rinse out your- WAIT, BE CAREFUL WITH THE STOVE-”

A bright flash of yellow illuminated the bottom crack of the door and smoke began to drift from under it. There came quite a bit of commotion at that, and they could hear the occupants inside run about and knocking even more things over.

One retainer looked to the other. “What the hell is going on?”

“They are trying to cook.” Replied the other. “I don’t think it’s going well.”

“What gave you that idea?” The first sarcastically snarked, watching the smoke get a little thicker.

The second sighed. “Wait here, I’ll go get the fire extinguishers.”

[The End]

-------

The end :D Thanks for being patient, my now fiancé was visiting and I didn't get much time to write! Now I'm back on track.

Chapter title comes from this song which is so romantic and sweet and it makes me think of two people genuinely in love and all the silliness it entails. These two especially, being NERDS.

What happened to the ones involved with the assassination plot that didn't get sent to Deepnest? They are down in the waterways, hand scrubbing that all clean. No mops, just good ol' buckets and sponges. Poppy did say that just killing someone means that they will never learn the lesson they needed, so both Ghost and Quirrel took that into consideration and put their asses to work to better the kingdom. Maybe after a few decades the lesson will be fully learned >)

ALSO if you are cooking with hot peppers, be sure not to touch your eyes, mouth, or nose, or it will BURN.

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mayfriend-archive · 3 years

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Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?

Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.

First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.

When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."

Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.

When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)

I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.

It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.

The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.

I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.

I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.

A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.

I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:

At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.

Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.

It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.

My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™

#emily speaks #asks #anon #lord of the flies #this is long. this is so long. why is this so long #i literally got out humankind so i could quote directly. how is this my life

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

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Song of the Dark Crystal liveblog pt 24

Song of the Dark Crystal by J.M. Lee because time to go back into a claustrophobic tunnel, oh boy!

Last times on book: On the way to Ha’rar after failing to retrieve the firca of Gyr the Song Teller from the Tomb of Relics (because it was broken), Kylan discovered that Tavra was a spider-imposter. He, Naia, and Amri managed to outsmart and trap angry Spider-Tavra and in the confrontation Kylan accidentally saved Tavra’s life by dream-stitching her mind into the spider’s body. So she’s a spider now but she’s being very chill about it. On her advice, the group returns to the Caves of Grot to try to save the Grottan from MILLIONS OF ANGRY SPIDERS and to try to create a new magical firca. Slight complication, the only way to get there in time is through a mostly flooded tunnel.

Chapter 24

The group travels through the harrowing Tide Pass, Kylan meets a Satirist

Amri finds the Tide Pass right as the morning sky is beginning to lighten. Kylan is sad because he wanted to be above ground to see a sunrise. Alas poor Kylan. When’s the last time these poor goobers got any sleep anyway?

Actually I feel like the sunrise/sets are pretty well documented. You could figure out exactly how much time this has all taken so far. I’d bet less than it has felt for the characters.

The group makes a decision to leave all their supplies and excess clothes outside the tunnel rather than make traveling in an underwater tunnel more difficult by adding in the possibility of getting tangled on something. He’s hesitant to leave Tavra’s pearl amulet or Raunip’s book but better safe than drowned.

Amri sniffs the tunnel draft to deduce some tunnel things. I guess he can do that.

“The tide will stay low for a few more days, and there are no currents here, so as long as we keep calm, there’s no danger of being washed away. I’ll lead. Naia should be at the rear in case of… Well, just in case. If we could walk it, the path would not take long, but crawling it will take longer. Remain calm, and your body will thank you for it.”

“Ready?” Naia asked. It was to the group, but specifically for Kylan. He took what he hoped would not be his last breath of open air.

“After you, Amri.”

The Tide Pass…. Is one of those places that drunk college students would keep drowning in until they had to put a metal fence over the entrance. There’s no bioluminescent plants or cave fish here so its so dark that Kylan might as well be blindfolded. The tunnel floor drops away so instead of walking, they have to propel themselves by handholds on the cave wall. The water is so high and ceiling so low at points that Kylan has to tilt his head up to breath, dunking his ears in the water. And also, Tavra makes matters worse by riding on his head and tickling him with her spider feets.

Hashtag, my friend turned into a spider problems.

Even with Naia occasionally touching his back to let him know she’s there, its really rough going.

AND GETTING ROUGHER!

They reach a section that’s entirely underwater!

Amri and Naia have to go ahead to scout to make sure there’s a clear way through, leaving Kylan alone in the dark with only a Tavra-spider for company. And he has to lie and says that's fine because there’s no real alternative!

Kylan is having a bad time.

But at least he has a Tavra-spider sitting on his head to talk to. That’s something.

“We are close. I can hear the voices of the other spiders. When Naia and Amri return, we will pass through this tunnel and enter the Sanctuary… but I fear we are too late to warn the Grottan that fled Domrak.”

Oh and Tavra-spider’s voice is so small that Kylan feels like he’s basically just talking to his own conscience.

Tavra, ever the spider pragmatist, says that even if its too late to save the Grottan, they can still get a bell-bird bone and make a firca to warn everyone. That’d be a victory too.

“This is the beginning of war with the Skeksis… Lives will be lost, and sacrifices made. To endure, we must focus on the greatest good.”

It’s an interesting take on the pragmatist, really. Tavra was the one that first brought up that they should return to help the Grottan so she’s not like ‘sometimes sacrifices have to be made’ type pragmatist. She’s just a realist. She’ll do whatever she can (which is less now) to save lives but will focus on the bigger picture. ‘We have to focus on the ends’ not ‘the ends justify the means.’

Probably why she’s just rolled with being a spider now. ‘Well this sucks but I gotta focus on the greatest good.’

Kylan couldn’t help but think Tavra was speaking to herself. Her brand of optimism was that of a seasoned soldier, a sort of bitter take on the constant bright hope Kylan had tried to commit himself to for so long. Even Naia’s optimism came from a place of wishing for the best; Tavra’s words, though not exactly comforting, were nonetheless realistic.

But she is optimistic about the firca, even while Kylan doubts. Since she’s a spider now she has spider-sense and she senses her spider senses are sensitive to sound. And since the spiders are close to the heart of Thra, if the bell-bird’s song can’t make them submit, she can’t think of anything that would.

SO! Good premise for the quest. Find the bone, toot on a flute, save the Grottan.

Kylan realizes that its been a while and Naia and Amri haven’t returned yet. He’s not sure whether they should have or not but the absence makes him nervous and he decides that if they got into trouble, he has to go ahead through the terrifying underwater passage without their guidance.

Because, I mean, if they did get into trouble, they’re never going to return to let him know that they did and he can’t backtrack out of the tunnel on his own.

“Can you see in this dark?” he asked.

“Yes. Are you going after them?”

Her question was mostly neutral, though it had a hint of what Kylan hoped was pride, or respect, or something like that. He didn’t want to. Every nerve in his body was ringing in alarm and fear, but it didn’t matter. He was here, and if he was going to get out of this place, there was only one way to do it.

“Try to tell me if I’m about to die,” he said.

Tavra gave a very dry chuckle.

“I will do my best.”

Aww, frens.

Also, AAHHHHH UNDERWATER TUNNEL

Pros: there’s no branching paths so no chance of losing his way. And Tavra can stab him with her stabby spider feets to warn him when he’s nearing sharp rocks or sudden turns.

Cons: Its so dark that he can’t tell whether his eyes are open or shut. He bangs into rocks with his head a lot despite Tavra’s help. HE HAS TO DO IT IN ONE BREATH.

But he does do.

His lungs are burning by the end but Tavra spider pokes him to tell him to swim up toward a light and he finally finds air again.

Eesh tense tense tense. Do not like. Lets use another exit when its time to leave again. Surely there’s a tunnel that isn’t underwater or where you have to squeeze through a cave-in. Surely.

“Be careful,” Tavra hissed into his ear, in an even tinier voice than usual. “The enemy is all around us.”

Kylan can’t be careful initially because all he can do is gasp for breath.

But when he recovers… Ooof. I am once again warning arachnophobes.

... all around him, the rocks, walls, nooks, and crannies were coated in spiderwebs. Some of the webs were elegant, glistening like silver thread, while some were so thick and gauzy, they looked like fleece laid upon the rocks. Crawling on every surface of the cave and along every web were spiders of every shape, every size, and every color. Some had long thin legs like Tavra. Some were large, squat, and furry. Some were small, like blast dust, and others much larger. One spider, reclining on its hammock of netted webbing, had legs the size of Kylan’s arms.

Well, that’s like. Out of one phobia frying pan and into the phobia fire.

But, hey, I was wrong. THERE ARE GIANT SPIDERS.

Although, I have to wonder if there’s even enough crawlies in these caves to support this kind of spider population. There were crawlies in the caves by previous descriptions but not like so many that they can support this kind of spider mass. I think the bats were eating them all. I guess the bigger spiders can eat the hollerbats and then the bug population will jump up.

Kylan is fretting about how he’ll get to the Sanctuary and where Naia and Amri are when he has to duck down into the water because a Skeksis in a black and red cloak and carrying a crystal topped staff comes striding into the room.

… skekSil?

“skekLi,” Tavra whispered in Kylan’s ear. “The Satirist… The Skeksis’ entertainer. Krychk’s master. Be careful!”

Oh. I guess the Chamberlain wouldn’t come out to a cave if he could help it.

And I guess a Satirist could be the opposite of a Storyteller?? Weird that the Skeksis’ favorite form of entertainment is speaking truth to power although maybe its more like the ‘don’t you get satire’ / ‘it was a joke’ style of “satire.”

I sort of imagine insult comedy is the Skeksis’ style.

Hm. I know that probably most people didn’t read the books vs the show and that all the Original Skeksis buzz was taken up by skekSa FOR GOOD REASON but I feel like I haven’t seen a lot of fanstuff about skekLi.

I mean, part of it could be that he’s showing up in person on page 212 out of 261. That’s not nothing but that’s not a lot of time to make a lasting impression. skekMal showed up pretty late in the book too but his menace was built up. He was Kylan’s motivation, he showed up in that story, Naia mistook the Archer for the Hunter. They have two separate encounters with skekMal in the woods AND one in the castle. Also, to be fair, he could lean on his show appearances too, at least for me. But skekLi is showing up as the man behind the man style villainy when it already felt like Spider-Tavra was the final boss. I hope he gets to do something memorable because I like having more interesting characters. And also something satire-based. You can’t just call a guy the Satirist and have him be a generic Skeksis.

Said Satirist spots Kylan hiding in the water, plunks a hand in the drink and just fishes him up.

“You!” he crowed again. “So you took the Spriton after all! We thought you would fail us. Yes, we did. But here we are.”

What was he saying? Took the Spriton?

He thinks you are the spider, Kylan answered himself.

What a hilarious mixup! What a hilarious, exploitable mixup!

For reasons of ‘no duh’ Kylan plays along and hopes Tavra-spider does too. In-character as Krychk, Kylan tries to subtly find out where Naia and Amri are.

The Skeksis set him down with surprising care, though the carnivorous sneer still cut beneath his pointed beak. He was thinner than the other Skeksis that Kylan had seen, with a long neck and sinewy fingers. On each finger he wore a ring, and each ring was connected with a web of silver chain, decorated with dangling charms. The same chain-and-charm decorations cascaded from a three-pointed fascinator, pinned to the Skeksis’ head with a pair of long narrow feathers.

OKAY whatever else, skekLi knows how to Aesthetic. Shame the illustrator didn’t include this rad hat on the picture a couple pages later. Or his finger bling.

skekLi tells Kylan-pretending-to-be-Krychk that the Grottan and the Drenchen are being kept in the Sanctuary, commenting that two Drenchen would have been better. Not naming any names, of course, but that was Krychk’s fault.

The Skeksis whirled, flourishing with his staff, and strutted out of the cavern.

Aesthetic.

Kylan immediately becomes spider paranoid because all of the spiders seem to be watching him and he frets that they know that he’s not Krychk.

He didn’t want to wait to find out, and pulled his chin up as he had seen Krychk do when in control of Tavra’s body. With a forced sense of self-importance, he marched after the Skeksis toward the Sanctuary, heart fluttering with worry at what he might find there.

My wild guess is that its going to be just a ruinous amount of spiders. I think its going to be an excess of spiders for the rest of the book. This is Kylan’s life now. Spiders.

#dark crystal #the dark crystal #Song of the Dark Crystal #liveblog #Kylan #Naia #Amri #Tavra #but she's a spider now #skekLi #the Satirist

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cordonia · 4 years

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Ethan + MC: “PUSHING DAISIES” AU: P1

Summary: Ethan Ramsey has gift that goes beyond his medical experience. With a single touch he can revive the dead for one minute before consequences take place. It’s handy, for his position at the hospital in a small town called Delarosa where crime is suddenly on the rise. Except it’s dangerous when he has the chance to revive the last girl he ever loved. Because nothing is for free.

Warnings: This is less lighthearted than the show. Death, mention of physical attack and injuries. Also Pushing Daisies (2007-2009) is one of the best shows ever so this is your warning to watch it.

Word Count: 1550

Ethan Ramsey was thirty-seven years, twenty weeks, four days and fifteen minutes old. He was unlike most of the people who inhabited the small town he had lived in all of his life. At a very young age he had learned more about the balance of the universe than anyone he had ever met. He had suffered because of the ignorance around him, but it meant that he could stay, possibly forever.

Perhaps it also meant that he could not leave, the risk too great to expose to a greater audience than the regulars in his life. Thinking about it that way only made him feel trapped.

There were only two people who knew of his capabilities, one being June Hirata who was the director of Diagnostic Medicine until two years prior when the program had shut down. Believe it or not, there was little need for a diagnostic team when there were fewer than ten thousand people in their hometown. Ethan was moved to head of Trauma and June was head of Neurology, and while those titles sounded exciting, they were both too good for the very small hospital.

A lot had happened in the past two years, including Mariana Valentine leaving their hometown. Leaving him.

“Call it.” June’s tone was firm, and the resident who followed her around like a puppy hesitantly exited the room. Ethan stood still, his whole body attuned to only one person in the room. He couldn’t look away.

Mariana wasn’t supposed to be here. She shouldn’t have been lying on the gurney, head trauma severe enough that the resident had almost thrown up. One good blow with a weapon and she was gone within two hours. This was not how he was supposed to remember her, the last memory he would ever have.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Go grab some coffee, Ethan. I’ll finish everything here.”

This was not an offer she would make under any other circumstance, she only ever volunteered her puppy. Lahela, to name him, something that Ethan should have gotten better at doing. There were many things he was supposed to do and change. There always felt like there would be more time.

Mariana was an unexpected threat to his perception of reality. There was always time, until there wasn’t.

“Leave, Ethan.” That was a warning.

“Why is she here?” His voice didn’t waver, but his legs threatened to falter. Something seemed fitting about falling to his knees, but for what purpose? He did not need to pray when what he dreamed of asking for was woven into the tips of his fingers.

“Don’t pretend like I would know. She was attacked on Mirani Drive, that’s all that they got out of Aveiro before he was called off again. The police will probably come in to question her, I’ll let them know she didn’t make it.”

“She was only a street away from her parents house.”

He could feel June’s stare burn through him, but he still couldn’t look away. He took a step closer to the bed and reached out--

“Ethan, I did not sign up for what happens when you watch her die again.”

His gaze snapped to Dr. Hirata and she took a deep breath when she saw his expression. She was always stubborn, and exceptional at whatever job she had in front of her. But she was not God. And in that moment, it would take absolute proof of a higher power forbidding him one touch, to stop him.

“Why doesn’t she deserve justice, just like the others?”

Dr. Hirata shook her head slowly, sighing. “You don’t know the others like you know her. I know that she was your best friend once, and you know that one minute will never be enough!”

One touch, anywhere upon her skin and her eyes would open to him for the first time in a long time. He couldn’t remember the last time they had touched, it felt like a betrayal to everything he felt for her. He owed her the truth, it couldn’t really be too late.

“One minute is all that I want.” A lie. He wanted an entire lifetime.

“Fine, but I’m not leaving.” She crossed her arms and stepped back into the corner, looking away from Ethan and the bed. June did not enjoy watching all laws of the universe being thrown out the window, even if she agreed that it helped in criminal cases.

He reached for Mariana’s cheek and then pulled his hand back. Nothing felt quite appropriate, not when their friendship never involved a physical relationship in any form. Mostly. One single memory disrupted that truth. But they had not spoken in some time, so he reached out again and did not hesitate to put his hand in hers.

Before there was a gasp for air, her hand tightened in his. But he had to let go.

Fifty-nine seconds.

“Mariana,” he entreated, almost breathless. “You’re at Delarosa General, you were attacked and I need to know who hurt you.”

“Ethan,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes wide and alert, “you found me.”

Mariana Valentine; twenty-eight years, forty weeks, three days and two hours old. She would only grow one minute older.

“We don’t have much time. Do you know what happened to you?”

“Oh.” Mariana shook her head. She brought both of her hands to her face, wiping away at the tears that immediately formed. She felt no pain, Ethan knew that, but the agony written across her face was not physical. “It’s all over, isn’t it?”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why this happened,” Ethan lamented, his hands tightening into fists at his sides. He wanted to wrap himself around her and promise that this was the end of all pain, the beginning of eternity.

Except his next touch would be the last and he did not know if death was an end or a beginning. He had no way to console her and no promises to make, only a heavy and permanent fate when his skin next brushed against hers. When he touched her again, she was dead for good.

His gift was often cruel, but he felt forsaken by all good in the universe. He had already lost his mother because of what he could do, he was surely being punished. He could not explain it any other way.

“Tell my parents I’m sorry I went for that walk. I should have stayed home. And Ethan...” She looked away, her eyes catching June leaning against the wall. “I wanted to come back, I missed you and I missed my parents. I would have come back to you.”

“Every minute of our friendship changed me, I want you to know that.” He didn’t know what else to say, there was too much to filter through in seconds.

That was their conclusion, a harrowing and blood soaked finale with no assurance of justice. One single minute on a gurney that ended as quickly as it began.

“Ethan,” June commanded.

“No.” He didn’t recognize the sound of his own voice.

Two seconds was no time to argue, and June was a survivor as much as she could be a fighter. She left so quickly that the room seemed to shudder upon her exit.

“Ethan.” His name came from Mariana’s lips. She looked up at him in fear and confusion, and the weight of his choice had a tight grip around his throat.

He didn’t know what to say. Their time was up, seconds past, and an alteration in the universe was completed. A life for a life. Mariana Valentine breathed because somewhere close by them, someone had just taken their last breath.

June, he thought as the panic burned in every vein. Guilt from every area of his life began to resurface, a compilation of every life he bruised, betrayed or buried. Who had he sacrificed to alter fate? This was not the person he wanted to be, the one he convinced himself he could be. He had never been more selfish in any minute of his life.

“I’m still alive,” she cried, “what did you do?” She wasn’t angry or upset, rather overwhelmed with shock.

“I couldn’t let you go, you were supposed to have more time.” His shame slowly evolved into a guilt ridden relief. She was safe, breathing against all odds and completely unaware of how complicated her life was about to become simply because she lived.

There was one thing she had already considered, the beginning and end of her life after death. Ethan’s touch.

“You can never touch me again.” She knew that something changed between then as soon as it was spoken aloud. Perhaps the one thing they hadn’t gotten the chance to explore; touch.

He could recall almost every time their shoulders grazed when they watched documentaries together. Or when she covered his hands with hers and promised him he had a purpose. The very first and only time they had ever kissed held permanent real estate in multiple parts of his brain. The last time he was completely and purely content, unbeknownst to anyone in his life, was that kiss.

They would never kiss again.

And then, like an alarm during a ceremony, a scream sounded off throughout the trauma centre. The consequences found Ethan before he could find them.

“Declan Nash isn’t breathing!”

Note: If there is any interest for me to continue this, I have a whole plan in place for the story. Also, it only makes sense for me to include some characters over others based on their value to the circumstances of this AU (not to Open Heart in general). I’m keeping what characters I think would fit into the story well and using other names in the story as places and so on. This would have lighter moments if I continued, the sad is out of the way...

Tagging: @ethandaddyramsey @binny1985 @openheart12 @bellcat2010 @edith-eggs1 @missmiimiie @queenofspades6 @schnitzelbutterfingers @longneckramsey @queencarb @kaavyaethanramsey @mkamra2355 @ethxnrxmsey whimsicalreader @jooous @blazerina @choices-lurker @itsgoingnuts @lilyvalentine @aworldoffandoms @choices-love-affair @nooruleman @junehiratas

#open heart #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x reader #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart imagine #open heart edit #my fanfic #my edit

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

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Tommy Shelby NSFW Headcanons

as requested by anon, thanks for the request!

N S F W :

- sweet Jesus where do I start

- SO

- we already covered that he's bi because bi rights an’ all that jazz, but we never covered what his kinks were in the past headcanons cause I like to keep the sfw and nsfw separated for anyone who's sensitive/uncomfortable with that shit

- so let me start off with something kind of vanilla: he's always liked the way that someone’s body is shaped, tending to go toward formless figures with relatively soft features. but the fact that there may be danger underneath that sweet persona stirs something dark in the pit of his soul, keeping him from falling completely in but backing away at the same time

- there are a number of reasons as to why I think he’s like this, and it's mostly because he wants control to be taken from him

- the weight on using shoulders is almost impossible to bear, and so not having to control something and just being able to trust someone helps him ease down into his own sort of bliss that he doesn't need to share with anyone else. in the earlier stages of the relationship he'd be hesitant to give up control out of fear, but give him a month and he'll eventually start showing signs of secret submission

- for instance, when told to do something simple like put his clothes back where they should be or telling him to clean his damned ash tray, he's a little more begrudgingly compliant than anything. what's odd, however, is that he almost always says he'd “better be getting something out of this” like a transaction

- and so since you're in no way stupid, you'd end up asking him about it. of course he'd play it off, saying something like “What, you really think I'm that much of an ass?” (to which you will raise a brow and say “Yes, yes I do.”) but his ambitions are made clear when you put on a more commanding voice that sounds like stern chastising than a question

- he'd stiffen, his eyes going to the ground as he purses his lips defiantly. your hand would go to grab his chin and tilt his head up, a very smug grin on your features. oh, you get it now. “So you like to be bossed around, Tom?”

- he's going to be VERY embarrassed about it for like a week and may even actively avoid sexual contact which is rare since like??? that's his love language??? he's truly, genuinely just a little nervous. he's not had someone dominate him before and honestly he's a little scared and might rush into it headfirst without even thinking of setting up a safeword

- like you'll be sitting down somewhere when everyone else is gone and it's late, and he'll sort of just bring up that he wants to try something new that's night. and you're gonna be like, uh? yeah, sure, what's up?

- it's gonna take him a hot minute to formulate the words, with his hands clenched in his lap and his eyes trained on your reaction the whole time. sweet jesus, this is embarrassing- “I'm sick of controlling everything.” and that's pretty much all he has to say to get the message across

- your reaction is based on preference entirely. don't be afraid to say no; he understands and won't ever ask again. there'll be other places for him to decompress and let you do your thing. you could be sitting together in bed reading and he'll place his head in your lap. you could be taking a bath and he'll just casually ask to join in, letting you wash his hair or something. he likes you either way, and it's ok to feel safe to say something makes you uncomfortable

- saying yes will lead to a very exited but nervous tommy. exited because he lowkey wants to do that shit as soon as possible, but nervous because it's something new. but he'll suck it up and not back down since his pride usually gets in the way of most things. when asked about a safeword, he'll probably be a little stuck before deciding on “Whiskey.” easy to say and not to hard to remember

- the first time you try it out he's going to get all nervous and tense. “Scared?” he'd harrow his eyes. what made you think that? is it how his knuckles are turning white as he clenches the edge of the bed? “No.” he's lying. a chuckle, light, but with a slightly more sinister tone to it. shit, now he's already half hard. he wasn't aware he'd be so sensitive to that- “You don't have to lie, Tommy. It's fine, I won't hurt you...unless?” Tommy’d roll his eyes

- and that's when he discovers he is in fact the biggest switch on the planet, although predominantly bottom. like, he's very bratty and lowkey refuses to give up to any challenge or demand made of him. he'll eventually ease into the punishment part which may soon take up most of what you do in the bedroom

- my mans moans. a lot. when he's a top he doesn't make much noise; mostly groaning and huffing quietly. but when he's a bottom he's biting back moans, it's almost like a completely different person, but the defiance is almost unmistakeable. any command will be either begrudgingly abided to or outright refused. he needs to be put in his place, and honestly he loves the process

- spanking? it kind of humiliates him a little, but he likes it. he wants to have trouble sitting down tomorrow in his desk

- likes marks being left too, although he'd prefer it just below his shirt collar so only he knows about it. he'd rather no to get weird stares as he walks by people in public

- tommy feels more comfortable being in control, but not being in control is just 100x better. he'll eventually feel more comfortable around you with being able to give you that sort of trust, and tends to be more submissive in other areas of your life as well, although never completely cause this is tommy's we're talking about. he likes to be coddled, and likes to be taken care of. even if he doesn't admit it

- catch my mans being more obedient in your domestic life, since he feels more agreeable. he likes a bit of edge and challenge to his authority or position in those situations. he likes to have something to say “no” to when it's not entirely necessary

- but in general he's not very sadomasochistic, although he does like having “reminders” of the night before. once again, he's usually the one introducing things to your bedroom, and so bdsm might be brought up on more than one occasion on as a joke the first few time since and then seriously

- probably would be more into tying you up than having himself tied up. when those sorts of things come into play he's more prone to being dominant, which leads us to top tommy headcanons

- my mans, as i said, doesn't make too much noise, although in this state he's very very sensitive to touch. not only that, but usually a certain type of glance will get him going for no apparent reason in like a millisecond. he loves the way you look at him, and he loves the way you feel around him, beneath him, your chest rising and falling unevenly ad your eyelids flutter and clench as he grips harder at the base of your hips-

- most things get him thinking dirty in a few seconds, like some sort of horny teen. but as soon as you're out of the public eye, away from the rest of the crowd where they can only sense your impending tension in the air, you bet your ass he will not hesitate to rip off your clothes and get straight to work on that pretty neck of yours

- he's probably down for semi-public sex where he knows you might get caught, but regardless of where you're doing it. once again, the kind of bitch to get turned on by danger

- like the rush of it sends him through the roof, although he's cautious about it too. but don't expect him to be gentle on you when he hears someone come by, no. not at all. he'll cover your mouth, suddenly placing a finger to his lips and turning his head to the direction of the footsteps. all is dead quiet, and yet...he's still grindingly his hips against yours, the hand that once told you to be quiet coming to squeeze your hip to try and make you disobey that command. you'll have to bite back moans, or whines, or whatever you can muster, because as soon as he hears them out of earshot you're going to be fucked into the he wall/table/wherever you've gotten yourself into this time

- his most preferred spot, though, is his bed. mostly because it's the most comfortable and he does like the privacy of feeling at home. he likes to think that this thing that you share is only between the two of you, that no one can take it away and no one else will see these parts of you, physical or not

- he likes to worship you just as much as he likes it done to him, although he might get to eager and rush things up like halfway through. it'll be you who's has to take it slow if you please, whispering sweet nothings against his skin as he watches you with a keen eye, curious to see what's next

- and now for my favorite part: miscellaneous headcanons ;

+ his favorite part of a person’s body is their eyes, and he likes dark eyes the most. they're a nice contrast to his own baby blues

+ sometimes, if he's feeling especially desperate, he may be more clingy than usual

+ if you're working and he wants your attention, he pulls up a chair next to you and caresses/gropes your thighs to tease you into being frustrated enough to spend time with him

+ he'd probably never do anything in his military uniform, although he likes to be called “soldier” when both in sub and dom position

+ if you call him daddy or sir like mid fuck he might just cum right there no cap

+ regular dick size, about 6 inches with a pretty good girth. moderately hairy but keeps good manscaping

+ he's even paler beneath those clothes of his lemme tell ya

+ v prominent dick vain when erect. like, when the blood rushes down where the sun don't shine you can SEE it

+ opposed to popular belief he's v sensitive and i see the most sensitive on his inner thighs and ear area. like, if you give him hickeys there he's going to feel it for at least a few days. also bite on his ear a little bit when y’all’er getting frisky cause he starts to moan a LOT

+ people that can handle a gun are HOT. especially if they don't take shit from anyone

+ if he's had a particularly stressful day he's probably going tom be very eager to just be near you in general

+ chest or ass man? the answer is chest. he likes chests that look strong, boobs or not. it kindof depend so on the shape of your body but someone who carries themselves with their chin held high is a turn on

+ confidence is hot as fuck okay

+ also really likes quickies

- in conclusion, he's a passionate lover when he's not all caught up in the world outside of the bedroom. it's quite literally his sanctuary, his oasis in the middle of a sandstorm. but it wouldn't be complete without you, and even through his pride he can see that as clear as day.

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herald-of-dirthamen · 3 years

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@liliumsunshine said: May I ask why?

Honestly... where do I start.

I suppose, if I were to put it in a very brief way, it’s because the natural instinct is to fear magic and hide it away, unless they can find a way to use it.

I was lucky to be born among the Dalish, where we see magic as a gift, and treat it as a part of everyday life instead of something to be locked away and feared. We’re taught how to control our magic without it being surrounded by fear and disdain, treated not as if we’re ticking timebombs that are doomed to inevitably become a demon abomination and therefore to be watched under lock and key 24/7, forbidden to venture into the outside world unless you either have money or you have extremely special circumstances that require your skill, such as the potential of the end of the world, but instead treated as though we’re people like anyone else who can make their own decisions and will not make a deal with a demon at any chance they get, which we won’t, if we’re treated with basic respect and dignity instead of mistreated at almost every step.

Like... no one is denying that magic is dangerous and requires respect. Magic can be dangerous, precisely like how fire can be dangerous, or even a basic tool can be dangerous, if used the wrong way. I’ve heard people argue that mages think our magic cannot be dangerous, and it’s like-- who are you talking to that even says that? I use magic casually and trust me, I know that it takes a great deal of focus and control, which does get easier with practice, but that’s because you learn precisely how much focus you need to shape Fade energy to do what you want it to do.

Er... I should probably... cut this post. It’s very long, I’m very sorry.

But I guess I’m going a little off-topic there. It’s just. Frustrating because some of these people act like we don’t know we’re dangerous, and it’s like... how can we forget that, when we’re constantly reminded of that every step of the way?

It’s just... everyone acts like only mages, or only this race, or only this country can commit atrocities when the fact of the matter is that everyone is capable of committing atrocities, and it feels like they forget that because they think they’re in the right, that they’re doing it for the greater good, that what they’re doing is protecting people at the cost of so many other lives.

Like... gods. There are humans who waged war with my ancestors because my people didn’t help enough. Were worshipping our own gods instead of Andraste. None of them remember the people they’ve killed and most of them don’t care because it was a religious war, an Exalted March, and because we didn’t want to give up our culture and give up our gods, what little of them we remembered, they came and they slaughtered us and they put up statues and memorials dedicated to their prophet in what used to be our homeland and they said it was Good.

...I keep going off topic. I just... there’s a lot and I don’t know what isn’t important and what is so I’m giving as much context as possible, I guess.

It’s just, so much of their fear of magic is rooted in how their prophetess was killed, but she was killed because she was leading a slave rebellion, not because... it’s just... yes, I know Tevinter, ruled by mages, is also a horrible place. I know slaves are still allowed there. I know many of them practice blood magic even if it’s technically “illegal” because they view that as the most powerful school of magic, I know so many magisters there are awful and sacrifice thousands, I know, I know, I know, but there’s a BALANCE that has to be struck, and clearly they’re just as imbalanced as the non-magical countries.

And I know now that... apparently my ancestors, back in Arlathan, were just like Tevinter.

But that doesn’t mean that treating mages like potential abominations, murderers, slave-owners, and so on and so forth is okay. You learn that history. You take that history to heart. And you try your hardest not to repeat it. And you can only do that by knowing the history and the ideas borne in it.

It’s just. Hard for me to not be afraid. People act like it’s such an unthinkable idea that we should be treated like anybody else. “What will you do when they commit crimes? Who should judge them?” I don’t know, gosh, maybe a jury of their peers? Magic and non-magic?

This fear of magic is so prevalent that people have even written books about how to prevent magic from manifesting in your children. Superstition that encourages you to do things like place leeches all over your infant’s limbs, before burning said leeches without breathing in the smoke, and wrapping your child’s limbs in cloth specially blessed by a Chantry sister. Superstitions that encourage you to nearly drown your child showing signs of magic, holding them underwater until they almost lose their breath, saying that if their magic is weak, that the magic will die before your child does. Families are so ashamed of having mages in their family that instead of sending them to Circles, they’ll simply lock them away in their homes and ignore them, refusing to let them even learn how to control their abilities until it’s too late.

It’s so hard not to be afraid when those tasked with protecting the common people from mages - and even if they say they protect mages from the rest of the world too, it can’t help but feel like a lie - do horrific things. Abusing us, blackmailing us, even going so far as to cut our connection to the Fade and rendering us as people who can no longer feel or have desires and barely any self-preservation instinct and can’t effectively say no to anyone and being abandoned and left to die. They kill us for not passing Harrowings where they deliberately summon demons to tempt these mages, and some people are so afraid of being unable to pass that they’d rather just be killed then and there.

In fact, if a Circle is deemed too out of control, too beyond saving, they’re allowed to pass a Rite of Annulment, where they just kill every single last mage, every man, woman, and child, and just... start anew. Because most Circles think it’s better to do that than do anything else.

And templars would raid my clan to drag mages to their Circles, their prisons, or would kill us if we proved to be too hostile, too resistant. I’ve lost family to these raids.

And then everybody wonders why so many mages turn to making deals with demons, turning to blood magic... they’re scared and they’re desperate. They’ve decided that if the world is going to treat them like monsters, if the world is going to always treat them like this, then what hope do they have? What else do they have to lose? They decide things can’t possibly get that much worse. That no matter what happens, even if they were good, that they’d never get to be treated like a person because someone will always find a reason to hate us.

Even if all mages are free of Circles now... how long is that going to last? With the war, even though I resolved it... people aren’t going to just forget four years of templars and mages killing each other, killing innocent people, ruining so many lives because it was inevitable that eventually things would come to a head and explode and now there’s even less of a reason to treat us like people.

It’s. It’s just. I don’t know. People have every reason to be afraid of us but by treating us the way they do, they’re only just... causing a vicious cycle, one that I fear has been going on for so long that it might be impossible to break, no matter how hopeful and optimistic I want to be.

It’s just. It’s funny. I’m one of the lucky ones who was treated like a person worthy of respect when I was growing up, my family celebrated when I developed magic, I know I didn’t experience the worst of things for a mage. I know I was born lucky to not grow up in fear of myself and my own abilities.

But I’ve had to learn how to act in the world outside of my clan, and... so many people want me dead for the abilities I have. So many people act like I’ll go out of control. And it’s... how can I not be afraid? Truly?

I’m sorry, I know this meandered a lot and went to a lot of places. I’m not... much of a professional when it comes to writing. Or talking. And there was a lot that I felt was important to share.

I just think that... at least here, for your average person... they may be afraid of us, they might hate us, they have valid reasons to, but I don’t think they’re ever going to quite understand the terror we feel knowing that they’re never really going to want to see us as people who are just as scared as they are.

#liliumsunshine #revas blogs #slavery m ///#abuse m ///#{dear god i do not know how to tag this}#{ALSO GOOGLE DOCS SAYS THIS IS OVER TWO PAGES LONG.}#revas never getting to the fucking point m ///

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psychicprincesscreation · 4 years

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NUANCE

Edit 7 (7/12): I didn't realize I kept breaking the link when I was trying to come up with a good title lol my bad.

Last two titles: "I'm not your bass-slut anymore." (That didn't exactly fit the narrative.)

"Don't fuck your idols. :)"

Since everyone is talking about accountability, let me put it succinctly: I was 22, this was consensual for me, I was a "groupie" who knowingly emotionally cheated on my then-bf with Bassnectar for months, I broke it off & moved out because I expected more from the relationship than I ever got.

As one person on IG stated: I was just a groupie whose fantasy didn't go the way I wanted it to. Lol it's true, but that isn't the whole story.

I know it's easy to focus on how I was "old enough to know better" and the harmful choices that I made, but don't forget that Bassnectar actively pursued me even after finding out about my boyfriend -- I'm sure he wouldn't have had any problem finding a single girl to talk to instead, given his stature.

He offered me concert tickets, plane tickets, money to buy an apartment, he told me to email him as often as possible, he told me to keep everything a secret and to lie to my boyfriend over and over.

He tried to "save" me with controlling advice about eating, sleeping, not partying (ironic, considering that he is a DJ) not pursuing music journalism, not hanging out with any male friends whatsoever, where I "should" work. This was all before we ever met in person.

People don't realize how hard it is to say no to your idols, especially when they are CONSTANTLY offering gifts that I considered very extravagant at my age.

This wasn't a normal affair; I had absolutely nothing to offer Bassnectar but myself, yet he spoke to me like I was a star. He told me we could "go deep" and that he wanted to "mate" with me.

Of course my dumbass young-adult drug-addled mind is going to fall in love with the idea of him.

CONSENT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. I didn't consent to a relationship as two normal people sneaking around. I became a cheating asshole who was misled by a rich & famous liar. I never said what I did was right -- in fact, I made it very clear that I did something wrong, too.

I also said that my story is NOT as bad as the other accusers'. I absolutely do NOT think that I had it worse than anyone else. I think my story is important because it shows that his behavior wasn't limited to people underage.

Hopefully my candor denotes honesty and by admitting my faults in this situation, people can see that Bassnectar's emotional manipulation was real and calculated, and most certainly did not start or end with me.

Side note: Apparently Bassnectar DOES cuddle... I guess he just didn't want to cuddle me that night. Ouch! :)

Edit 6 (7/12): Too many typos to fix so I'm just leaving them now lol. Added detail.

Edit 5 (7/12): Just because I say I'm slutty and I like sluts, doesn't mean every girl/women who was involved with Bassnectar is a slut. I'm just owning that label to change MY narrative for MYSELF. I really don't think there's anything wrong with being slutty -- it's always the rest of the world that has a problem.

I wrote this stream-of-consciousness, so I wanted to mention that sometimes my statements that involve other women may seem brusque, but I'm on the women's side. I mean to convey disdain for the way Bassnectar treated us (as a secret "harem",) rather than jealousy or annoyance toward the women. I hope it comes off that way, but I don't know who is reading this and how some might interpret my words.

Edit 4 (7/10):

Removed names. A story mentioned in this post wasn’t true. Either just a lie (to make someone look bad,) or I don’t remember it properly ‘cause it’s been so long. If it was my fault: my bad.

Edit 3 (7/7):

FIXED SOME TYPOS!

Edit 2 (7/7):

I like sluts. Stop making us feel bad for wanting love *and sex, too.

Another thought: Bassnectar probably pursued a relationship with me because I had a boyfriend. Therefore, I would be more secretive and would have to take some of the responsibility and guilt in this situation, too. And that is true. I do feel guilty about the lying and sneaking. I think that it was inevitable that I would break up with my then-boyfriend, but it really wasn’t Bassnectar’s place to accelerate the break-up by giving me the impression that Bassnectar would be my boyfriend instead. This wasn’t friendly advice given to me by someone older, this was tactical. It makes me wonder if a lot of girls/women don’t want to come forward because they are afraid that the truth will come out about their own affairs?

Don’t be afraid to tell your story because women-hating assholes try to dissect and expose your secrets in an attempt to discredit you! Bassnectar is the one who needs to be exposed for HIS indiscretions -- this is about what HE did wrong. Edit 1 (7/7):

- Bassnectar told me that he was coming to NYC and because we had an online relationship, I thought that he was coming to see me. My friend told me today that Gov Ball 2013 was the same weekend, so I think he may have actually been in NYC for that reason (I don’t think he was scheduled to play on the flyer,) but I was delusional about it. - I removed the screenshot of his phone number from the post because I don’t want to violate any doxx rules. I am still willing to compare this phone number with other women/accusers to corroborate our stories. :) - This is my story told from my perspective. I was an adult and I’m not posting this with the intent of legal action, or revenge (although I do admit that this relationship was devastating and heartbreaking for me.) I just want people to know what kind of person he is. - My story is not as harrowing as some of the other accusers’, but that doesn’t make it invalid. - Even now, reliving everything hurts me and I wish I could say that it was real, but now that I’m older I am wise enough to know that it was all lies. - I stand with the women who Bassnectar has hurt in similar, or worse, ways.

----

My relationship was short-lived, but it was so eventful for me that I remember it clearly. I'm mentioning many minuscule details because I think that could help prove the validity of other victims' stories.

Writing in bullet points because it's easier for me to sort through the memories. I'm calling him Bassnectar because the "Lorin" I was talking to is someone that I feel hurt and appalled by now.

• I don't have social media/email screenshots because I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter years ago. Bassnectar asked me specifically to delete our emails because his "girlfriend had caught him" and asked me to get rid of the evidence because she was "demolished." (I will go into a bit more detail about that later on.) • I don’t have a “smoking gun” that skeptics are looking for, but that’s what happens when someone asks you to keep everything a secret and delete everything that shows you were communicating.

----

• This happened in 2013 over many months, plus Bassnectar texted me a few times about once a year after our "relationship" ended. • I was 22 at the time. I'm from NYC and frequently went to clubs, shows, events, and festivals with my then-boyfriend (who I lived with) & the same group of friends. • Bassnectar was one of our favorite artists and we'd seen him perform several times in several states. • My friends had a private Facebook group where we'd tell each other about shows and make arrangements to travel/meet up/stay over each other's places. • I was very interested in music journalism at the time and occasionally wrote show reviews for my friend's online music magazine. • I actively used Twitter. I basically tweeted at every DJ we liked, and always posted reply screenshots in our private Facebook group to share with my friends. • Things became complicated with my then-boyfriend, but we still lived together. We had recently gotten back together around the first time Bassnectar DM'd me on Twitter.

• Bassnectar responded to a Twitter pic I posted of our mini-fridge with a Bassnectar logo sticker and said that he "liked my fridge" or something. • I screenshotted this and posted it in my group because he was the biggest artist who had responded to me at that point. • I thought I could use this as an opportunity to interview him for my friend's mag. • After I already posted the screenshot in my group and had responded to his DM, he sent another message asking me not to screenshot him because he "hates that." • I deleted the screenshot from the friend Facebook group. I stopped screenshotting and sharing our conversations with my FB group immediately after he asked. • I continued to chat with Bassnectar via Twitter and said that I was a big fan of his merch and that I bought several things at all the shows I've attended. • I asked to interview him at some point in the conversation, and he skirted over the request. • Instead, he gave me his email (bassnectar2012) and asked me to send him merchandise ideas. • I slapped together a few simple, quick ideas on Photoshop or something and sent them to him.

(I don’t know how to embed a picture on Tumblr lol -- will update.) • You can see that the image I sent is no big deal, and all the files were similar, but he responded as if they were the greatest things he had ever seen. He definitely made me feel special and talented. • We emailed regularly and relatively frequently for days. • Emails are exchanged back-and-forth and eventually I asked to interview him again and he agreed. • I gave him my number and he called me. My then-boyfriend was aware that I was in contact with Bassnectar, with my original intention of interviewing him. • My then-bf was in the room when Bassnectar called me for the first time. • Bassnectar didn't want to be interviewed; he wanted to get to know me. I agreed to just chat at first. • He told me not to call him Bassnectar because that was his "band" and that I should call him Lorin. • At some point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, even though things were complicated with my then-bf and we were technically together. > I know I'm going to be chastised for doing this, but I've learned years ago that I made a bad choice. Honestly, I still wanted an interview, and I am well-known for leading with my sexuality. This is when I started becoming deceitful with my then-partner. Simply put, I was just more enticed by the idea of advancing my career, and eventually the allure of potentially being Bassnectar's girlfriend, so lying seemed best. Just because I’m flawed, too, doesn’t mean Bassnectar did nothing wrong.

• My then-bf confronted me about not saying that we were together. I felt guilty and the next time I spoke to Bassnectar, I confessed that I was back together with my then-boyfriend and I wasn't single. (I don't remember if it was via text or voice call.) • Bassnectar was upset that I lied, but continued to talk to me nonetheless through text and email.

• He made me feel like my writing was profound and touching, and that we were falling in love. • He would tell me that he wanted to "bring me the sun," or "get me a puppy." He said things that were romantic and poetic and I felt heartened to respond to what I thought was love. • He said he had $10,000 in his mattress and he wanted to get me an apartment in NYC, so I didn't have to live with my then-bf anymore. • He would text me before and sometimes immediately after he played shows then say he was going to sleep by like 12am (typically.) It was easy to keep up with where he was playing via social media. • He offered to fly me to his show in Red Rocks so I could attend. (I didn't accept.)

• He called me from time-to-time and told me not to tell my then-bf who I was speaking to. • One day he had me call a different phone number, which he said was his "home phone." • He told me a story about a beautiful girl named (removed)? Who he had a falling out with because she mentioned that Bassnectar told her that he didn't like Steve Aoki. (I don't remember that story in detail -- I think he was telling me so I wouldn't tell other people when he talked about other artists.) > Edit (7/10): This person messaged me to say that’s not what actually what happened between them. • One day I was speaking to Bassnectar on the phone and didn't answer when my then-bf called on his way home from college classes (I always answered right away.) He asked who I was speaking to and I admitted "Lorin."

• When I called Bassnectar back, he became annoyed that I told the truth and said that I should tell my then-bf that I meant my girlfriend Lauren instead. • I began to sneak around more, lie more often about who I was speaking to on the phone, and texted or emailed Bassnectar almost every single day. • He said we should skip Camp Bisco 2013 and just spend time together. (Obviously anyone who attended Camp Bisco knows that didn't actually happen lol.) • He was flirtatious, charming, and always offered me tickets to events, or sometimes to fly me to where he was. I didn't accept any of this then.

• He told me that I shouldn't do any drugs, not even smoke weed. All of my friends were casually experimenting back then, and I was equally as candid as I am now about everything I did. He told me not to do drugs at his shows, or any shows, and especially not around guy friends. • Me and my friends traveled to see a show in Philly and stayed with friends. When I texted saying I was mostly with guys (my friend group was mostly guys at the time,) he asked if I "felt safe" and offered to get me a hotel. I thought it was unusual because I always felt very protected by my male friends. • He told me that I shouldn't hang out with guy friends, or have guy friends at all. • He told me that guy friends all wanted to sleep with me and I didn't realize it. • He told me I should eat healthier and exercise regularly -- it was very weird and controlling. He just didn’t want me to be myself. • He told me that he had a girlfriend who had two abortions. I think because we were talking about relationships? • He told me that he grew up in a hippie commune and was Christian and he questioned his priest and that his mom was a poet laureate. It just seemed like he wanted me to get to know him at the time. • He told me I was co-dependent with my boyfriend and that I needed to become independent and move out. • He told me I should make lists of my life goals as an independent person and email it to him. • He told me not to tell anyone about us talking. I told all of my girl friends, but it was a "girl code" situation and none of the guys or my then-bf knew what was going on. • We talked A LOT and often, but all of this only happened in a matter of months.

• Time passes and our emotional affair eventually becomes physically intimate when he says that he is going to fly to NYC. This is JUNE 2013! He played at Electric Zoo 2013, but that wasn't until Labor Day, so I'm not sure why he really needed to go to NYC, but it definitely wasn't for a show because me and my friends would have been there. > NOTE (7/7): My friend read this and mentioned that Gov Ball 2013 was the weekend before, so there is a good chance that Bassnectar was already in NYC for some reason and didn't actually come to see me personally like I was led to believe. lol.

• He alleged that he would see me again around Labor Day when he came back for EZoo, too.

• I am from Staten Island, and wasn't totally familiar with Manhattan's layout at the time, but I think that the hotel he was staying at was in Midtown. It's been 7 years since this happened, but I tried my damnedest today to figure out exactly which hotel it was -- there are soo many in that area alone. • If Bassnectar says any of this isn't true, then he's lying because there will definitely be a plane ticket or something with his name on it to NYC in JUNE 2013. > NOTE (7/7): I thought he was there to see me specifically, so the dates he told me was staying in NYC are probably not 100% accurate, but there is definitely some proof somewhere on his end that he came to NYC for whatever reason. The lies he told me are just coverup to make me lose credibility if this ever came out.

• He said he had a hotel for three days. I think it was a Mon-Wed? I took off work those days so I could see him everyday that he said he would be in NYC. If he has no record of checking into a hotel around the time I'm citing, then his manager probably did it for him. I believe his name is Carlos. (I'm going by the memory of what Bassnectar told me.)

• Bassnectar met me in person at the Staten Island Ferry (Manhattan side) and we walked to Battery Park and sat on a bench and talked. • I felt extremely shy and awkward because I knew that by meeting up in-person, I had given up with my now-ex. The whole thing was conflicting and unfair to so many people, but it was too late now. • Bassnectar frequently complimented me in person. He said things like, he was dying to smell my neck, that he loved my wrists because they were delicate like a bird's frame. • He said that he felt self-conscious that he would be recognized because he's used to being recognized in crowds. • He would pet and caress me, but didn't try to kiss me in public. • He told me that he got his hair washed at a hair salon and he gave the hair dresser a ($50 or $100?) tip and looked in the window to see her reaction and she was crying because she was so happy. • He convinced me to go back to his hotel. We took a cab there. It didn't take that long, which is why I'm convinced it was Midtown. He never told me which hotel it was, but I didn't realize it was actually because he didn't want a trail back to him. I guess it worked.

(I'm about to get very detailed about my memories, so trigger warning for making people feel uncomfortable.)

• When we got to his hotel, he became physical with me very quickly, but he said he wouldn't kiss me first. That I had to do it first. So I did. • It progressed into kissing, cuddling, him touching me all over in bed with our clothes on. He dirty-talked a lot. I also remember that he moaned and grunted a lot, and I wasn't used to any of that. • At one point, I untied his hair and let it down and he joked that I was making sure he was really Bassnectar and not his assistant that I was meeting. • He told me about his go-go dancer friend who had fake boobs. I can't remember why. • I remember him kissing me against the wall, and he said something like, I want to fuck you against the wall and hold you up with only my dick. It was way too specific to forget. (It didn't happen, though.) • We inevitably had full-on sex after the on/off touching/kissing/talking. • He said he didn't want to wear a condom at first, but he thought he should. We did, but it felt like a test to see what I would say. • I remember that he wanted me to have an orgasm, and I instructed him which position worked best for me. • He orgasmed by having sex with me from behind and asked me to look back at him. I remember him draping his long hair over my back. How could I forget that? -_- • One of my girl friends texted me ("How are you plants doing?" was our code phrase) to check in and make sure I was okay because she knew where I was. It was monumental for me, so I told her it was great. • I sat on his lap while he looked at his laptop. • We had these deep conversations about life, and love, and the future and it seemed so real to me at the time. • I remember that I told him I was unsure if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend because he was so much older than me (I think he was 35 at the time?) • He told me about about a girl he loved named X who was also around my age. I didn't think it was that weird because I was convinced he still really liked me best, but he probably had so many "Xs" and I was just another one. • At some point, he commented on Facebook (or Twitter?) in response to someone saying he was Illuminati. Honestly, it was like we were two people hanging out because of how normal everything felt after the sexual tension was gone.

• I remember having dinner with him at the restaurant across the street and talking about wanting to be a writer and he said I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HIM EVER. (So it wasn't normal after all.)

• I remember, back at the hotel, he asked me perverted questions like, can you show me how you make yourself orgasm? He asked me to just demonstrate on his hand so he knew what to do next time. • I don't remember much more because I wasn't planning to stay. • My other girl friend had a job interview that day and we decided to meet at the ferry to take it home together. • On my way out, he walked me to the elevator and he gave me $50 to take a cab to the ferry and to use for a cab when I came back to see him tomorrow. (For my fellow New Yorkers who doubt this story, no, that wasn't enough fare for both trips, so the amount is definitely the truth lol.)

• I went to see Bassnectar again the next day. When I asked him for the hotel address or name, he wouldn't give it to me directly. He said it was because of people stalking him or something. I don't fucking know but it was obvious confusing bullshit and I think he gave me an address that was about a block away. I think he even said he would tell the cab driver the address over the phone. There was a lot of runaround to avoid saying the exact address. (Now the reason why seems obvious.) • My details are a bit fuzzy at this point because I remember meeting him outside the hotel and going up together, but I forget why we met outside and why we were both confused about which street the other person was standing on. • We went up to the hotel room, he worked on music on his laptop, while I sat on his lap and read Trainspotting on my Kindle. • He let me listen to what he was working on, but I don't remember it. I just remember that he was working with female vocals. • He told me he had to meet his guy friend in Williamsburg because his friend was making him lobster. Looking back, it was probably another girl.

• I asked to stay because I wanted to spend more time with him. I texted my now-ex-bf (who I still lived with) that I was staying with my friend. • Bassnectar said that normally he would say no, but for some reason he agreed and left me in the room with the room key and all his stuff. He either really trusted me, or really trusted how much control he had over me to leave me with his laptop. • I left at one point to get pizza, and came back. I watched TV, but couldn't sleep. He got back some hours later and he was drunk off wine, but I just wanted to cuddle and sleep. • He jokingly thanked me for not stealing his things. • Apparently Bassnectar DOESN'T cuddle and made that a point, but he did sleep in bed with me for a bit, before moving to the other bed in the middle of the night. (There were two beds in this hotel room.) • For anyone else who had sleepovers with Bassnectar, you know that he sleeps with his own fans for the white noise. So we slept in separate beds with his own personal fans on. It was all very bizarre. • We didn't have sex this day at all.

• The next morning I went to Duane Reade while he was still sleeping so I could get toiletries and shower since the sleepover was impromptu. • He had a meeting with someone (manager?) who was supposedly coming to stay in the room later that evening? (It was probably another girl though? idk)

• When he got back, he made me go over the list of accomplishments and goals he asked me to email to him. • He told me that I shouldn't be worried about finding someone to be in love with and it should be a lower priority on my list. • He told me that I should get a job at a restaurant or American Apparel or something and get a shitty starter apartment with only girls. • He said that finding an apartment that was pet-friendly shouldn't be a priority at all. I had a pet cat so if I moved out, that meant I would have to leave my cat behind, but that didn't matter to him. • He told me that if I wanted a serious boyfriend, I shouldn't let him see my legs or have sex with him for a long time. • When he finished life-coaching me, we watched a movie together. • He chose Spring Breakers because he was supposedly asked to do the musical score for it and turned it down (that's what he told me.) • At one point in the movie, Vanessa Hudgens jokingly gestures to her friends that she's giving a blowjob, and Bassnectar said he "didn't understand why girls sucked dick." • We had sex once more, more quickly than the first time and with much less romance. I can't remember much because I just remember feeling sad about leaving soon and like he was blowing me off suddenly. • We took a shower together after.

• I packed up my stuff and before I left he gave me $1000 in cash without warning and told me I could use it to help put a down payment for an apartment or something, but I should pay him back because it would be "good for me." > Looking back, when he left for a short while that morning, it was probably to take out cash to give me when I left. • He didn't walk me to the elevator this time and he sat on his laptop while I left feeling very cheap, stupid, and crushed.

• Time passes and we talk less and less. I'm heartbroken, but still make moves to find a job and move out of my ex's ASAP. • I email Bassnectar a diatribe saying I'm feeling hurt and abandoned. I say that I felt betrayed that he made me think we were essentially going to be together after I left my boyfriend and it turned out to be all lies. • I'm having lunch with friends when he calls me and is angry saying that he told me what I should do to make my life better and that he can't just give me a job or do anything for me and that I need to do things for myself. • My friends walk over to the car where I'm on the phone and when I say I'm ready to go, he asks who I'm speaking to and I say, "my friends." • He yells at me and asks why I'm talking to him on the phone when my friends are around (he asked if he could call and I said it was okay, I didn't know we were supposed to be alone.) I tell him I will call him back. • I text him and ask to call back and his mood flipped and he's suddenly super kind and apologetic and tells me he just wants me to be independent. He reminds me that I'M the one who told HIM that he was too old for me and we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. • I am heartbroken all over again, but I move on with my life and move out within the next month or so.

> I actually did get a waitressing job as per his suggestion and saved money from that + the grocery store I already worked at and moved to BK by August 2013. I didn't use the money he gave me at first because I thought it was a reason for us to see each other again, and I was afraid to spend it in case I couldn't earn enough to pay him back by the time I saw him. (I never saw him again, though.) > In case you're wondering, I did spend it eventually when I started to resent him for blowing me off.

• I speak to Bassnectar very rarely, and only via text. He doesn't call anymore, even when I ask. • One day while I'm at work, he sends me a video of a beach he's supposedly vacationing at. • When we DO speak, he asks for nudes, usually. • When I send them, he says he feels guilty since “he has a girlfriend” and that we should stop. • Contact is so infrequent, when we catch up about my life, he gets annoyed if I mention I'm seeing any guys, but I never think he really cares because he stopped caring about me a long time ago. (If he ever did at all.)

• I still tried for months to maintain any kind of relationship with him because I truly thought we had something special, but he was always too busy for me. It fucking sucked because he was always in the back of my mind now that I was *~independent~* like he said he wanted me to be so many times.

• One random day when I was too busy to chat with him, I remember he actually DID call me because he said he lost a sound file and wanted me to record myself saying "I really like it." A few times to use on a track. I guess I took too long to get back bc 15 mins later, he texted to say he got it from someone else. I couldn't do it anyway because I was dealing with some other personal stuff. I forgot about it soon after. • I didn't listen to the album NSVB for a long time after it came out bc I was still hurt, but when I did.... I heard that fucking sound bite in whatever song it's on (I really don't care to know) and it fucked me up. • I was conflicted thinking, shit, did I blow my last chance for "us" ? I was still hung up on this asshole as if he were just some ex because of that emotional manipulation. • Would that have solidified what we supposedly had? Or would that have just been another way he used me? I began to resent him.

• Fast forward a few months and I'm drunk with my girl friend at home and text Bassnectar for the lols. I say that I should ask him for tickets to BASSLIGHTS 2013 in VA to make up for him being such an asshole. • Surprisingly he agrees on the condition that I only go with girl friends, don't do any drugs, and say that the Tix are left for me because I interviewed him. (Don't forget that no interview ever happened!)

• Before Basslights, he texts me and even asks me what songs he should play and I don't realize he's just stringing me along. Presumably it was just another plot to hook up. • Before we leave for VA, my friend who is driving admits that one of her OTHER friends secretly knows Bassnectar so we might be able to get into some party or backstage. Sooooo I guess she was another one of his "harem" that he was having a secret relationship with. (I don't mean anything negative towards that girl/woman, just that Bassnectar probably saw us this way and was playing *at least* the two of us at this time.) • My friends and I drive from NYC to VA and miss Bassnectar's set the first night because we arrived late, but the Tix were waiting for me at the box office. • If you get Bassnectar's guest list for Basslights 2013, my real name is on there. I'm sure a lot of other girls he manipulated are on there, too. • Bassnectar texts me and asks what I think of the show and I say I missed it. • He says he was thinking of me a lot during the show. • He texts me saying I should let him "vroom vroom in my girl power." Obviously he's alluding to sex, and I show the text to the friend who was at my place when I asked him for the Tix. He won't send a cab to get me at my hotel when I say sure, though, because he "has a girlfriend" again and he would feel bad. Maybe he was annoyed that I missed his set, maybe he picked someone else, maybe he actually was with his gf? Whatever. • I told him I didn't feel comfortable texting like that anymore because he said he had a gf. • He tells me I'm a good person.

• I am so hurt that I don't answer his texts at all anymore. • We go to Basslights night 2 and I get suuuuper fucked up with my friends (because fuck him) and have an awesome time and disassociate Bassnectar from his controlling bullshit. • I ignore him all the way back to NYC and just text to say I'm home. • He sends me an URGENT text saying that his gf suddenly found out about his gross infidelity and begs me to please delete all of our emails and texts. • I'm stupid and kind and fucking over him so I do it. He knew I would because he knew I was too nice of a person not to. • Bye bye evidence, though. :( I regret deleting those emails even now because I knew this misconduct shit would come out eventually with him.

• LOTS OF TIME PASSES. Now and again, Bassnectar would text me just to say what's up and I'd barely respond. This only happened approximately once a year. • I'm pretty sure this was just to make sure he was on my good side and there wasn't a chance that I was going to expose him. • I think the last time he texted me first was all the way back in 2016.

• The last few times we spoke were when he had a cancer scare and I texted to say sorry. • When I went to Moonrise Festival, I asked if we could meet and he blew me off. It's been so long, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but it was worth a try. • When me and my friends went to Electric Zoo and he closed, I texted him saying that we couldn't hear well from where we stood and left early. I think he was offended because he replied saying that no one else complained. • The last time I spoke to him, I knew he was playing at an event near me and asked for tickets again so I could see him and he said he would be with his girlfriend. It was a one-off thing and I thought it was worth the try. •There were no cordial conversations in-between the times I contacted him at all. Just me being lonely and single and still hanging on to this idyllic version of him that never fucking existed in the first place.

• I'm much older now and I know that a lot of this happened because of choices I made, but I was 22, starstruck, in a confusing relationship, partying, and desperate for an ethereal love that I sought in that music scene.

• I bet Bassnectar specifically targeted girls like me because (at least in my case) I was depressed, pumped full of mind-altering chemicals, pretty, and lonely. He acted like I was a unique, artistic, lost soul and he made me believe that he was the only one who could save me.

• At 22, you don't realize that a man 13+ years older than you shouldn't be asking you to keep your conversations a secret from everyone, asking you for nudes, asking you to lie to/break up with your boyfriend, inviting you to hotels, offering you gifts, and straight up giving you cash that you didn't ask for.

• But that man DEFINITELY knows he's doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing that hush money with you, or asking you to hide and delete everything.

• Because he would text me once in a while saying something like, "You cross my mind all the time," it would be enough for me to hang on to this hope that *maybe* there was still a chance. I couldn't see that it was just another manipulation tactic that worked well on me because I was still feeling the effect of the emotional annihilation from so long ago. :(

• I loathe how he made me feel for so long and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many other girls who were taken advantage of in worse ways by this egotistical LIAR in his position of power. Seriously, Bassnectar, fuck you.

ALSO: not sure if this was his burner phone or what, but here are the last two digits of the # he always contacted me with (sent in the DM). If any other victims want to corroborate by comparing numbers... Let me know.

(I REMOVED THE SCREENSHOT OF THE PHONE NUMBER IN CASE IT VIOLATES ANY DOX RULES, BUT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU DIRECTLY IF YOU ARE CONTACT WITH ME!) :)

---

#eab #bassnectar #metoo

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nocerealmilk · 3 years

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Harrow the Ninth Timeline + Synopsis + AtN Predictions

Ok So I know I wasn’t the only one really confused after reading HtN, so when I reread it I made a bunch of notes so I could try to piece together the timeline! Here’s what I got, it’s as accurate as I could make it.

The universe is dominated by the force that is called the Cohort at the behest of the Necrolord prime AKA John AKA God AKA the Emperor, a man who resurrected all of our solar system to use “thanergy” (dead stuff energy) instead of “thalergy” (alive stuff energy). For unknown reasons, instead of just living in the galaxy, the Cohort overtakes planets by “flipping” them from thalergetic into thanergetic, allowing the arrival of necromancy. This is achieved by front line Cohort non-necromantic soldiers indiscriminately killing enough of the creatures on said planets that the Cohort necromancers can then use that energy to perform necromancy which causes the planet to die, releasing thanergetic material that can then be used for necromancy. It should also be mentioned interstellar travel is apparently only easily achievable for regular people by obelisk, which is a structure that must be bathed in fresh blood daily. They are, basically, super evil.

They are at war with Blood of Eden, a rebellion insurgency of people who want to cleanse the universe of necromancy, which was (ambiguously?) created at some point by God and then betrayed him.

Wake, the previous leader of Blood of Eden, was sent by Mercymorn and Augustine, who had betrayed God to work with BoE, to the Ninth House to take samples and look for signs of life within the locked tomb, which contains The Body (AKA A.L., Annabel Lee, or Alecto), God’s cavalier. Because the locked tomb is only accessible by God’s genetic material, Mercy gains God’s genetic material via menage e trois, and uses it to make foetal dummies, which all die, leading to Wake carrying God’s genetic child to term.

Gideon the First, Lyctor, is sent to intercept her - he does not and betrays god, Because both him (Gideon) and his lyctor (Pyrrha), who both share Gideon’s body, were both separately having an affair with Wake, and believed the child to be theirs. Wake crashed to the Ninth and died, but the baby lived; as Wake died she said “Gideon”, so the child was named Gideon, although she was referring to Gideon the Firsts name when she said it. (Note: I don’t believe it is ever mentioned what happened before Wake came crashing to the Ninth, only that she was intercepted by Gideon1, who failed to kill her.)

Wake’s hatred of necromancy is so strong that her ghost remains a revenant, haunting first her old bones, then haunting a two-handed blade, which the child of hers and God’s, Gideon9, the Ninth raises wields and loves.

When Gideon9 and Harrow are 10 years old, they get into a fight - it’s important to note that Harrow says specifically that Gideon9’s skin was under her fingernails, because she is able to bypass the wards that only God (or a genetically similar being) can access. Harrow looks inside of The Locked Tomb and sees Alecto’s body, who she both falls in love with, and is haunted by her via auditory and visual hallucination.

8 years later, Gideon9 and Harrow go to Canaan house, all of the events of GtN happen. Gideon9 dies and something (which I will speculate on later) happens in the time between.

Harrow the Ninth starts with Harrow not remembering Gideon’s existence, having made a debt to Ianthe to compartmentalize her memories of Gideon so as to avoid truly absorbing her soul. (Harrow does not remember this either). It is important to note that Harrow feels none of the rapid healing benefits of lyctorship, although her soul/body is a void like other lyctors.

The body of Gideon was not recovered, neither were the living Coronabeth, Camilla, or Judith, who ended up with Blood of Eden (It is easy to extrapolate that Gideon’s body is probably also currently in possession of BoE).

In the meantime, Wake’s soul haunts the two handed sword Harrow possesses, which her past, cognizant self has told her to never let leave her side, and not allow it to come in contact with flesh. (Harrow’s past self is evidently aware of the sword’s haunting; she also is aware the revenant wishes to leave the sword, and apparently that was not intended) During a moment of sleepwalking or possession, Harrow stabs the sword into the body of the dead lyctor Cytherea, whom the ghost of Wake leaves the sword and possesses the body of.

Later, Harrow is on a faraway planet, murdering it, when Camilla Hect and the other two who survived Canaan show up in a spaceship. Harrow’s letter to herself tells her to seal Judith Deuteros’ mouth shut, which she does just as Judith attempts to tell her someone has betrayed God and that she is a “prisoner of war”. She also successfully restores part of Palamedes Sextus’s body, creating an articulated hand for his soul to possess. Important to note, Gideon9 is not there, alive or dead.

In the meantime, in the River, which is basically a limbo-type place souls go after they die, and also where alive people can go if they know how, Harrow has been reliving an incorrect version of the events of GtN within her mind, using the trapped ghosts of those who died to re-enact the story. The story, however, goes haywire when The Sleeper, AKA the ghost of Wake, attempts to kill Harrow (and the others) in this dream-bubble esque world. Wake’s ghost changes the parameters of the story, causing Canaan to fall apart, be plunged into freezing cold, blood raining from the sky etc. Abigail Pent, a spirit caller who is also a ghost now, helps Harrow’s memories return and then awakens the Sleeper/Wake.

In the real world, Harrow has been fatally stabbed by Mercymorn, who attempted to kill her because she didn’t want Harrow to go insane and suffer as a resurrection beast, the soul of one of the nine originally resurrected planets, approaches them. Instead, Harrow’s memories are restored and she is trapped within the simulation she created, fighting Wake’s ghost, while Gideon’s soul is able to overtake her body.

Shortly before this, Harrow’s visual hallucination of The Body AKA Alecto vanished.

Gideon9, in Harrow’s body, is able to fight off the heralds of the resurrection beast easily, and has wicked regeneration powers - her thumb grows back entirely within seconds, something that was directly stated to not be possible for normal lyctors. Mercymorn and Augustine have a big reaction to seeing Gideon9’s eye color inside of Harrow’s body.

Gideon9 and Ianthe find God, Mercymorn, Augustine, Gideon1, and a tied up Wake-possessed Cytherea having a discussion. Mercymorn and Augustine confront God about Gideon’s yellow eyes, which God does not have but Alecto has. The only possible way Gideon9 could have yellow eyes like Alecto is not because she is the child of Alecto, but because she is the child of God, and Alecto is God’s cavalier, whose eyes were perfectly swapped with God’s, and Gideon9 is God’s daughter. Previously God told the Lyctors that to become immortal they had to kill and absorb the soul of their cavaliers, but since Alecto/The Body was still alive after the eye swap that took place before they all met, it was apparently a lie and perfect Lyctorship was possible the entire time (in which both parties absorb and share the combined power of their souls, resulting in a reversal of their eyes, and remain living).

Wake tells God that Mercymorn, Gideon1 and Augustine betrayed him and had had prior contact with her. Mercymorn also, importantly, notes that when she checked Gideon’s body at Canaan house she neglected to open her eyes, implying that Mercymorn was at Canaan house and worked with BoE to ferry Corona, Camilla, Judith, and Gideon9 out of Canaan.

Mercymorn explodes God. Augustine and Mercymorn express a hope for the death of necromancy in the future.

God somehow rematerializes (will get into my theory on that later), and explodes Mercymorn back, who does not rematerialize, because she is dead. God admits the resurrection beasts cannot kill him, and he lied to their faces for 10,000 years.

God offers to spare Gideon9, Gideon1, Ianthe, and Augustine. Augustine instead plunges the entirety of the space station into the bottom of the River, attempting to throw God and the rest of them into the stoma, which is basically just Hell or Nothingness. Augustine and God fight; Gideon1 tells Gideon9 (still in Harrow’s body) that Gideon1 actually died, and who is taking through Gideon1’s body is his necromancer Pyrrha, whose soul was compartmentalized similar to how Gideon9’s was. Ianthe chooses to push Augustine into Hell and save God, which is very evil of her.

Gideon9 decides she would rather try to save Harrow’s body and brave the river, a futile act. In her last moments, Gideon9 sees light, and then sees the face of Alecto leaning over her saying to perform chest compressions despite her shattered chest (Which, I believe, is Gideon’s soul returning to her own body)

At the same time, Harrow has defeated the sleeper and everyone has left the dream bubble except her and Dulcinea. The bubble is falling apart. Dulcinea tells her something left intentionally ambiguous to the reader, which leads to Harrow popping the bubble. In Harrow’s last moments she walks into a coffin that has Gideon’s sword and spicy magazines inside of it, and falls asleep with a smile on her face. Important to note it specifically says this happened in a “faraway place”. This is happening, I believe, in tandem with Gideon seeing that final vision.

The epilogue describes an unknown character with unusual healing powers (most likely in the body of Gideon), living in a faraway land (Harrow is also there, possibly?), who is given bones and a sword but does not understand what to do with either of them, and Camilla Hect is there, but her eyes are gray, the color Palamedes’ eyes are described to be. The narrator notes their specific love for those eyes.

Ok now ~predictions~ which I mostly wanted to put here to look at later when the new book comes out.

Dulcinea is the character that we see in the epilogue. Honestly, I’m not completely sure; I think Harrow or Gideon both could love Pal’s eyes, they did care about him, but it feels kind of like a weird thing to point out unless it was relevant. If it was Alecto, like i’ve seen some speculation on, why would she comment about the eyes of someone she doesn’t know? Dulcinea also alludes to an understanding of perfect lyctorship in HtN: “Goodbye, Palamedes my first strand, Goodbye Camila, my second...One cord was overpowered, two cords could defend themselves, but three were not broken by the living or the dead”...One by itself was very strong, two could defend (as a cavalier defends their necro in the river), and three were not broken by the living or the dead (essentially, true immortality with invulnerability). This, and the board in the Lyctor room at Canaan in GtN also describes the pinboard as having numerous clusters of three pins. (Granted it is not stated completely what perfect lyctorship between three people would entail, or if the pinboard in GtN was alluding specifically to lyctorship.)

I don’t think Harrow is in Harrow’s body right now, if she is, I don’t think she is lucid. Harrow also states “There’s a difference between saving a shred of dance card, and saving the last dance” Dulcinea gave Harrow the information that crawling into that coffin, whatever it means, would allow Gideon to survive. That is what she wants above everything else, I think knowing that is the only way Harrow would be content at the last and go without fighting.

Harrow planned the entire thing. I actually do think this is possible. I don’t think Harrow does anything irrationally. I think she erased her memories knowing that it would cause her to forget a plan she made at Canaan with the others, agreeing to go with Ianthe to the First. She did specifically give instructions to her future self to seal Judith Deuteros’ mouth shut, to stop Deuteros from giving her the information required to stop the attempt on God’s life. My personal prediction here is that Harrow always meant to reconvene with BoE at the end, and Wake’s revenant leaving the sword and Mercymorn’s failure to kill god compromised all of that.

Harrow and Gideon are currently occupying Gideon’s body together, but neither of them are at the wheel.

Alecto is not dead, and maybe never was dead. I know she is literally called The Body and is described as being dead. However, I don’t think she’s in a state of death she can’t come back from. I believe that “perfect” lyctorship involves one body being able to remotely protect the other, hence why God reformed from complete paste and Alecto is who Gideon sees. I think God being dead would involve somehow killing the both of them, or killing one and then stopping the other from reforming while you kill the other.

Alecto is not human, she’s a robot or alien? She is referred to as a monster most of the time, and originally had the black and white eyes of God.

God’s three person Lyctorship is him, Samael and/or Anastasia and Alecto. Still not totally sold on 3 person lyctorship being the goal, but I think if it is the case that’s it. I know Gideon says Alecto’s voice is “wrong twiceover”, which is what made me think it was two people, and neither were Alecto.

I don’t think Alecto is the main character of the third book. I think Gideon will still be the speaking character, but I think Alecto will be the pivotal character.

The Cohort is bad actually. I think it’s one of those things where it seems glamorous because the main characters are brainwashed a bit. I mean as far as I can tell, it’s outrightly stated in the text that the Cohort murders innocents and overtakes planets. Real Empire vibes!!

BoE is also bad actually. I think we’ll learn Cohort bad, then BoE good, then BoE bad as a twist at the end, that they have some kind of hidden agenda or something like that.

Corona kills Ianthe. Most people just suspect this because of the whole Cainabeth and Abelle placeholder names and I’m also in this camp. I think Ianthe is pretty morally gray so I don’t necessarily think she will end up being killed because she’s straight up a villain, but I think she will be killed.

Harrow comes face to face with Alecto

Necromancy goes byebye, God is Kill

#gtn #textpost #mostly just posting this so i can look at it later when im inevitably confused before atn comes out and i reread the books #then ill be like oh me of the past youre so smart and sexy and just read this post to become unconfused

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coeurdastronaute · 4 years

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Either/Or: Krypton 8

Previously on Krypton

The harrowed halls of the House of El were fluttering with activity, but unlike the normal galas and festivals that took up many invitations and hours of precise planning per the customs and rituals of their station, there was not any preparations made for the sudden Choosing of the only daughter. While people came from far and wide, migrating naturally to celebrate as the news spread, the matron of the house worked tirelessly to keep up with the crowd.

Swept up in the entire notion of it, Kara didn’t know what to do, and so she held onto her life raft in the form of a human, Lena. She wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist. She held her hand. She looked at her from across the room, terrified of losing sight of her for just a moment.

Vast conversations began and echoed through the rooms on the ground level. Sweeping arguments formulated the future and capabilities of the Matrix and what it all meant on a scientific, cultural, and political level. All of it was alive and loud and busy and as wonderful as she wanted to see it, Kara felt overwhelmed by what her relationship suddenly meant. She hadn’t thought about all of that before, not the implications for her world.

Many bottles of wine were cracked, many toasts were made, many debates raged and many bodies filled in and out of the house before Kara was able to snag the single human who caused all of this grief and joy.

Lena smiled and set down her glass as Kara grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door that led outside. It was still a warm evening despite the dark. Before she could ask anything or even see what Kara wanted, Lena felt herself tugged into Kara’s arms while simultaneously pushed against the wall, lips on her own, taking her breath away.

Hands moved to her neck, and Kara smiled, her body radiating warmth. She felt Lena exhale against her cheek. Even in the dark, she knew there was a smile there.

“I’m sorry for all of this. I know I am a lot of work,” Kara sighed, earnest and honest.

“I guess we hadn’t thought it out as much as we initially thought.”

“It would appear that we are a bit of an anomaly, and I should have taken into consideration how much my people love anomalies.”

“I’m sorry I appeared in your life and caused this mess.”

“I’m not. It was fate.”

“I’ll never understand how you can be so logical and yet so willing to give up to the idea that everything is decided,” Lena shook her head. She ran her thumbs along Kara’s jaw, felt the smile pull the muscles.

Her answer came in the form of another kiss, softer than the first but no less necessary and needed. For a moment, even Lena forgot what she was asking.

“You came from another planet and fell in love with me,” Kara reminded the girl in her arms. “Chance or fate, who cares?”

“Do we have to go back in there?”

“I don’t think they’ll miss us.”

“Let’s get out of here then.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Far away from the house and the people heading home, from the empty bottles and bright lights of her ancestral home, the two bodies climbed toward the top of the old observatory where they watched meteor showers and snuck away for age-appropriate parties.

The sky was dark purple, deep and punctured with stars shining from far away. It was a cloudless night, and surely Kara would write about all of these small aspects of it when she wrote the history of the day. A small bit of sweat lingered on her neck in the heat despite the chill that was moving in, drawn out by their hike.

As they made their break from the house, Lena directed Kara, careful to grab some supplies despite not knowing where they were actually going. Something about following her anywhere but here was all she wanted to do.

Placed between two towers, the two found a flat bit of land overlooking the eastern horizon where the sun would soon rise. The moons were gone and the darkest part of night was becoming overwhelming save for the rings of two distant planets. Kara unfurled a blanket and Lena put another down for them to climb beneath to keep warm.

“Do you want to tell me about the Matrix?” Kara ventured as Lena took a sip of wine and passed it to her to try.

“It felt like a dream. I don’t remember much, I don’t think,” she shook her head. But Kara just waited as she watched Lena look at the stars and consider the question. Sometimes it just took a few extra seconds to get to the truth.

“It started with a voice asking me questions about myself. And then the world morphed so that I was speaking to my mother or someone who looked like my mother, which was weird and great all at once.”

“An appropriation of what would put you at ease the quickest.”

“Must have been a deep neural trigger that the computer was fine-tuned to look for. I’m just curious how biologically based it was. And it, or she, or whatever the Matrix is, it felt me trying to figure it out.”

“Leave it to you to try to overpower a complex and ancient system with your brain,” Kara smiled, oddly proud.

“I felt safe and I felt open. It must have read slight changes in body language and vocal patterns as indications of unconscious feelings, plus the sensors I wore must have--”

“But how did you feel inside?”

Lena paused her need to explain it all away and looked away from the view that captivated her every single night since her arrival. She looked at Kara, pretty brown eyes wide and earnest, her head cocked slightly, waiting, listening intently, slightly musky, warm smell radiating through the slight breeze that brought a hint of chill.

“I felt this certainty. This certainty that I never ever experience. And there was a clarity that we would survive and my world won’t.”

“You will figure out how to save your planet--” she began to promise.

“I won’t. But something about us… I don’t break. You keep me together. The Matrix showed me that I can trust you to never leave, and I think it has to try to squander your darkest fears. That’s how you come out the other side and fall in love.”

“You needed a machine to tell you that?”

“No,” Lena shook her head and smiled. “I just never knew that I could have that.”

“It almost feels kind of weird to be confirmed, doesn’t it?”

Lena rested her head on Kara’s shoulder and sighed against it all. She nodded but felt nothing more than an intense relief at having found what she never had the heard to believe anyone could offer her. Kara had a lionheart. She was certain of it.

“I still have to go back,” she whispered.

“I know.”

“I’ll come back.”

“I know.”

“I thought I could stay and never return, but--”

“No,” Kara decided, kissing Lena’s forehead as she wavered, her voice cracking with the confession.”You didn’t leave thinking you’d never be back. You have unfinished business.”

“I’ll come back to you.”

“You will.”

The words were sad but strong, and Lena heard it all in Kara’s voice. She wanted to explain more but wasn’t really sure what else there was. Instead, she just lifted her head and leaned closer to Kara’s lips before kissing her quickly and softly, dragging out each second, pulling the fabric of time as thin as she could.

XXXXXXXXXX

The sun warmed the sky, chasing away the dark. Despite the alcohol and party that kept them up late, the sleeping pair couldn’t hide from the bright rays once hey cracked the horizon. Lena dug her nose into Kara’s shoulder and neck, hiding from the idea of waking completely.

“We have to wake up,” Kara rasped, her voice thick with sleep and groggy from the long night.

“Never.”

“Lena, we have to.”

“What are we going to do today?”

“You have a lot of research to do, and I have a lot of things to classify and such. We have a lot to do. The world doesn’t stop spinning because two people are in love.”

“It should.”

Kara smiled and stretched slightly, letting out a small groan with how sore her body felt and how lovely her life was despite it all. The ground was hard, but everything was better than she could have imagined in her entire life.

“Kara.”

The voice was tiny and soft despite the noise of the waking world.

“Yes?”

“How do I tell my father about you?”

Despite herself, Kara chuckled and shook her head, squeezing the other body toward her.

“You simply tell him that you’ve fallen in love with a rather dashing Kryptonian and you’ve decided to stay forever because you can’t imagine a moment without her.”

“Well, I don’t know if that will work.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.”

“Sometimes the truth is harder than a lie.”

“Tell him what you would like,” Kara shook her head, smiling as she finally met Lena’s eyes for the first time that morning. “As long as you come back.”

For the life of her, Kara couldn’t place the look that Lena gave her. She didn’t understand the green of her eyes and the clouds in her cheeks. But she saw the uptick of her lips and she felt the sigh against her chin as Lena let out the words she couldn’t say. Lena ran her fingertips along Kara’s cheek, along her jaw. She leaned forward and kissed her.

XXXXXXXXXX

The moment the door closed, Lena took a deep breath and leaned against it, alone for the first time in over a day, and very disoriented with how swept up in happiness she could be. It was all so foreign for Lena, that she wasn’t convinced she was allowed to have it.

The entire reason Lena left Earth was that she genuinely had no interest in falling in love or sitting in board meetings. She wanted magic and science and the entire world. She wanted to know absolutely everything there was, and so she ran away from so many things. After her mother and the fall of humanity to such base and unscientific thoughts, to the world killing itself for profit, she couldn’t handle it. The mission to Krypton was too perfect, and if she had to believe in such things, it was a bit of fate.

It also meant that somehow she met Kara, and despite her best intentions, might have fallen in love, as impractical as that seemed. She hadn’t come here to meet someone like Kara, someone kind and good and bright and funny and patient. That wasn’t an option.

Slowly she ran her hands over her face, pinching her eyes to stifle the thoughts that made her whole body slightly more tense. She couldn’t let herself get caught up in that. It didn’t make sense. She’d resigned herself to a quiet life. To a simple life. To a lonely life.

“What did I do?” Lena muttered softly to herself, confused to it all.

The answer was, of course, that she simply fell in love, and that was the worst thing she could have ever imagined.

Two days ago, she wasn’t bound to be in love with Kara. It was all still wide open, and now she was tied, or at least according to a stupid machine, she was fated.

And as much as Lena wanted to argue, to push herself out of how happy and perfect she was feeling, she would remember the Matrix, and how she felt when she was in it, like she was solving a problem and got to the purest, most honest, most correct answer, and that was Kara. At the end of it all, after all of the work, after overthinking it entirely, the Matrix helped her reach the answer, whether she liked it or not.

In truth, she hoped the Matrix would help make it easier, that she would have proof of the unprovable notion of love, that finally her emotions were quantified. Instead, it just made her realize she wasn’t sure how to do it.

But as overwhelmed as she was, and as afraid, and as sure, at the end of it all, as she took a deep breath and stood a little straighter, prepared to survive this as well, Lena knew that Kara was the answer.

XXXXXXXXXX

“You do not look well rested, considering you left your own party.”

“I had to,” Kara offered as she took a seat at the table, grabbing herself some fruit as her mother didn’t look up from her tablet.

The breeze brushed through from the south, full of warmth and oddly stifling. Kara tilted her head slightly to catch some of it on her face.

“It was a bit much. I think we will have to prepare better for the ceremony.”

“I don’t think there will be a ceremony for a long time.”

Sadly, Kara took a bite and looked out toward the gardens with the swaying trees, branches with long tendrils danced, weaving and tangling amongst themselves.

“Why is that?”

“Lena is going back.”

“Not forever.”

“No,” she nodded, inhaling weakly. “Not forever.”

“You’re worried.”

“I don’t trust that place. I don’t think her father is an honest man. She doesn’t think that, even though she can’t bring herself to say it. What if something happens?”

“It’s not safe for you to go there,” Alura warned her daughter, seeing the thoughts dripping into her mind.

“I know.”

“She’ll come back.”

“Yeah,” Kara nodded, forcing a smile before taking another bite.

She was almost certain Lena would come back, she just wasn’t sure how to live while she was gone.

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instrawberrymoonlight · 3 years

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10 Things I Love About You

Every time I watch that scene where they call you a freak I get so angry. I know it’s cliché to say they hate what they don’t understand but I firmly believe it in this case; they only superficially put up with you because you show them a way “out” to all their problems and it’s completely despicable. Self preservation prevails, I guess, at least to them and it’s insufferable and deeply saddening.

Everything about you is brilliant and I’d never truly be able to describe the way I feel about you ever, because language is so restrictive, but at the very least I can mean the things I say. And, I do. In every sense of the word. So, just because I’m a lovesick puppy and I’ve never truly been able to convey a fraction of the feelings I have for you, I’m writing this: 10 Things I Love About You. (Yeah I know it’s a very creative list name, thank you).

One

Your smile, as silly and swoony as it sounds, captivates me. It’s contagious and lights up my world. You’re the star of the show in my universe and I could stare at your dimples and the way your eyes crease up when you smile – when you genuinely smile – forever. It’s a sight to behold and on the rare occasion it slips and I’ve been blessed with the chance of seeing it, it stays with me. It’s almost like my own precious little secret that I get to cherish and recall until the end of my days. (Also sometimes your nose scrunches when you smile and unfortunately I could only talk about 10 things so I couldn’t insert a whole paragraph on how amazing and cute your nose is so I’m putting a short except here – PLEASE LET ME KISS IT PLEASE PLEASE AAAAAAAAAA.

Two

Your eyes. There’s an intensity to them and while their darkness has struck fear in the hearts of many, it has only won mine. They’re a beautiful, unique shade – never to be replicated in another, and are distinctly you. They’re also incredibly emotive, I can always tell when you’re thinking hard about something and I can always tell, even if it’s for a split second, when something has bothered you. They’re just so diaphanous. And that’s not to say you’re easy to read but rather the insight into your soul is through your eyes; there’s also a warmth to them as well. A heat. While your touch can be cold, and I usually identify you by your chilling presence, your eyes capture the fire within; It embodies you. When the flame is fuelled by passion (gasoline for humans) it epitomises your unfettered wildness and your freedom. And when calm, it provides this sense of shelter to the people who love you and consider you family; your eyes reflect that blanket of warmth. That hidden side you only show to those close enough. Both are dazzling and I’m so glad to have met you – and to be able to interact with you.

Three

Your scars. As superficial as it sounds, I find them gorgeous. I want to kiss them softly and treat them so gently. To tell you the truth, and to let you in on a little secret, I get really defensive over them. I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m fetishising them in any way but I’d love to see you without your makeup more often. I don’t want this to come across as pushy or anything, I promise this is only if you’re comfortable I would never want to put you in an uncomfortable position. I just want you to know that what I feel for you isn’t shallow and it isn’t based on the symbol you’ve built yourself as. It isn’t because you wear make-up and you hide yourself; my love isn’t conditional. I’ve fallen in love with you, the man beneath the make-up, Alexander Harper, for nothing more than the reason that you’re amazing. Sorry, I’m kinda focusing on this point so much because I feel so strongly about them. I feel as though you’ve been wrongly told, for a good chunk of your life, that they’re horrific for whatever reason. I feel as though you’ve gotten weird looks because of them, or like I mentioned earlier, that you’ve been called a freak. The idea of any of these being the case completely riles me up, it’s so fucked up to think about anyone shaming you for them. Personally, I think they’re a bold portrayal of your personal strength (of which I’ll touch on later – spoilers), and a show of your resilience in an all too often fucked up world. They’re beautiful, and they will never not be. If you aren’t proud of them yet, or if there’s a part of you that’s still somewhat ashamed of them, I will personally tell you anytime I can that they’re beautiful to me and are a representation of hope until you take pride in them. Or at least start to believe it. Even then, I’ll never shut up about it. Battle scars, whether metaphorical or literal, are always valid and are a big fuck you to not only mental illness – mostly the voices that try to destroy you from within – but are also a big fuck you to our abusers. It’s saying in big bold writing “hey fuckers, I survived despite all the shit you’ve thrown my way,” and that’s something we victims don’t get to experience enough.

Four

Your ability to unapologetically be yourself. I think this one’s mostly self explanatory. You have this amazing capability to set aside the social dogma and the fear it instils regarding individuality. You know who you are and what you want and it's inspiring, especially since I personally struggle with identity and navigation. Your confidence in your belief system and in a lot of ways, yourself, is something I also look up to and I hope that one day I can reach a point like that too. You probably already know this and if it isn’t overt enough it’s sure as hell implicit – I look up to you so much. You’re one of my idols and maybe that’s daunting or a lot of pressure but as long as you keep being you I assure you there’s nothing you could ever do to deter me or make me feel differently. I’d also like to quickly touch on how accepting you are of mental illness and of your own! None of that matters to you and it creates such a safe space. You’re so incredibly patient with me. I can only hope I’ve been able to create the same feeling reversed! Lastly, I love all your little idiosyncrasies – the way you speak and move your hands, the way you flick your tongue against your scars (which weirdly enough never triggers my misophonia, you’re like the only exception) the way you pronounce things and draw out words, the way you interrupt yourself with hums and ahs and other butterfly inducing noises. It’s so perfectly you and it joys me to no end.

Five

Your strength. I don’t want to get too specific into trauma because this is meant to be uplifting and I just want to stray away from the prospect of triggering you as best as I can so I’ll try my best to keep it short; though, there are some things I want to say–

Holy fucking shit you are strong. You are so so strong. And that’s probably the most vaguest, cliche thing I’ve said yet but I fucking believe it with all my possum heart. Your childhood and the relentless degradation you endured by a parental figure who was meant to protect you, but instead disgustingly treated you like no child ever should be treated was horrific. What he did to you was unspeakable and the way you feel about my abuser hits the nail on the head regarding how I feel about your father. I’m sure you were the sweetest kid when you were younger and none of what happened was any fault of your own. You deserved to have your needs met and deserved to be treated with such love and compassion. You still do. There wasn’t something wrong with you, you didn’t cause your trauma. I know it’s really hard to believe that when you’ve experienced incredible distress and it can really fuck with your perceptions but I’m here to tell you that none of that is true. To put it in perspective, Arthur, Kali and I have experienced similar thought patterns. We’ve all doubted ourselves and believed at one point or another that we’re just awful and that we deserved it but it’s a lie abusers have ingrained in us. I’m not sure if anyone has told you this properly but I just want you to know this, please. I’m kind of going on a whole tangent here but this is so important. I just want the best for you and I want you to want that too. I want you to take care of yourself more, to be more patient with yourself – at the very least for me. You deserve to break out of this vicious cycle trauma imprints on us all.

Further, going to war is arguably one of the most harrowing things a person can experience. I’m really not going to get in on the details here because it’s pretty self-explanatory too. You’re my hero Alexander, you encompass courage and resilience more than anyone can. Despite everything you’ve been though, in the end you’re still fighting in what you believe is right and fighting against oppression. Your spirit cannot be crushed and it’s really touching. My big dumb borderline heart feels so much for it and for you. I love you so completely.

Six

Your humour. You seem to make the darkest situation into the brightest. You’re so quick witted and it never fails to make me laugh. Your secret love for puns, which I feel like you’ll deny because they’re cheesy but it slips a few times in the film, is the most adorable thing I’ve seen. It’s so so so endearing and I’m giggling to myself as I write this.

Seven

Your voice is angelic and it has the power to give me butterflies. Continuing this thought, I always found it funny that no one can replicate it, at least I personally think; people fall short when they try to mimic you and it’s interesting. There’s just something about you that makes you incredibly unique and even when people try, they can never truly be you. Maybe this sounds like a crazy love ramble but you’re special. It’s why you’ve captured the hearts of so many and it’s why I’ve given you mine in full. Speaking of hearts, this leads me to my next point.

Eight

Your heart – you say you don’t have one though your heart is especially brilliant. I’ve seen it, albeit hidden, it’s big and has sustained despite the things you’ve been through. Apart from Kali and Arthur I’ve never had someone care for me as much as you, I’ve never had anyone treat me so gently and I’ve never had anyone validate my experiences the way you have. Despite experiencing all the bullshit judgement people project onto you (evident within the first few minutes of the film) you remain one of the most understanding, non-judgemental and comforting people I know. I have a feeling like you’d disagree with me about all this or try and block out what I’m saying by replying with “im dangerous” but I’m telling you I’ve never felt safer around anyone more than you – particularly in your arms. As someone who has a serious problem with people touching them and getting close to them physically or relationship-wise, I’m telling you Alexander Harper, that I trust you with my life and I feel wholly protected by you. I know you’d never hurt me, you’re terrified of doing so. I’d let my guard down with you any day, and I don’t do that. I want you to know you’re precious to me, every single side of you; every single part of you. You don’t scare me. I know how hard it is to open up and I’m so so so happy you’ve chosen me and the family to trust in. Just know that you don’t have to hide anymore. You can be yourself. And maybe this is pushing it, maybe this is me overstepping, I hope it isn’t but it’s okay to be the young Alexander you never got to be. It’s okay to let go and enjoy things and to do the things you want to do. To open up, to show people you have these feelings. I just want this to come across as a friendly reminder, like a little caress on the cheek because I can understand it all: the hiding, trying to pretend that you have no emotions at all, trying to pretend that you’re okay, self sabotaging relationships and the personal relationship you have with yourself. You don’t have to do this anymore though my love, you don’t have to go through this alone. I want nothing more than to support you and be with you when you’re going through your worst. I love all parts of you, remember?

Nine

Your playful side and your passions (yes I’m sticking two points into one, it’s not cheating, deal with it raccoon boy). Even if it’s small things like crosswords or rubik's cubes, to sliding down money piles and scribbling on newspapers (or um,,,,, taunting police) you have this sweet proclivity for mischief. It’s so endearing and I swear I fall more in love with you as the seconds go by. I love it when you fixate on something and create elaborate plans, it's riveting to watch them unfold – kind of like finishing a puzzle and watching the pieces come together. It’s so satisfying, and knowing you’re the man behind the plan makes it all the more thrilling; but my favourite thing of all is that it’s an insight into your mind (which I’ll also touch on next). On the flip side, you have this staggering ability to think on the spot under pressure, you always know exactly what to do or what to say. It’s awe-inspiring. You’re perfect.

Ten

Your mind, I love the way it works and ticks. If I could spend hours asking you questions and asking your opinions on things I would. I don’t want this to come across like I want to psychoanalyse you and pick your brain in the worst way like some lab experiment. I’m just so interested in the way you view and perceive the world, even with the most mundane things. I just want to hear you talk. Like I said, I look up to you so much and I enjoy spending time with you. I guess you’re not the only one who likes reactions ha h. I’m hilarious.

And finally, in the memorable words of Frankie Valli—

I love you, baby.

(Yes I know that was cheesy, kill me).

#MMM YES #THIS ENOUGH SUGAR FOR YOU #HFDIUHFSDIUFHSUD #priestess to high priest

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jiminandlemonade-blog · 5 years

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serendipity | the finale

a/n: i’m not going to lie, i’m in tears writing this. it’s the final instalment of a series i’ve had for over a year and a half. if you’re not here from youtube and want to know more about the series, the playlist is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7jiMg0Xpsg&list=PLvqlaQfwogWIPaj4LMDqKysJeiwozIETH

if you’ve come from youtube, i hope you liked the video and find more about what happened, once the cameras stopped rolling.

thank you for being apart of the journey with me, i truly have appreciated all of your comments.

“Benjamin, can you please give your Dad his contacts back? He needs to go” you huffed for what felt like the 80th time. Since turning 7, he hit a stage of madness. You were told by your parents-in-law that Jimin went through exactly the same stage, definitely not a coincidence. “Jam! Give Dad his eye thingys” Rose laughed, chasing her brother around the room, calling his nickname, after seeing you getting noticeably annoyed. “Where’s Dad?” Evie asked, clinging onto your leg. After her accident a few months ago, she’s not been able to leave yours and Jimin’s side and when one is gone, she gets concerned.

“Daddy’s here” Jimin smiled, walking through the door non-chalauntly as if he wasn’t even bothered that his eldest child was throwing his actual sight all over the floor. “Go play with Rose. And what I mean by that, go and get Daddy’s contacts” he laughed off, pushing her slightly for a little bit of encouragement.

“I’m not sure what to do about this anymore” you sighed, putting your back to where the children were playing in the lounge room, placing all of your upper body weight on your elbows that you gently slammed into the kitchen island table, both hands gripping the side of your hair in slight panic. You didn’t want to show the children you were stressed, you hated the thought of doing that. Even when you had moments where you would rather lick paint than answer another “but why Mommy?”, you never showed it.

“That was nobodies fault Y/N and you know it. She’ll come round soon enough” Jimin tried to reassure you by caressing your back. Thinking back to that day, you’ll never forget the piercing shriek that shook you and Jimin to your very core.

-”Come on Rose, we need to find Faith and Madeline before time runs out!” you heard Evie call out playfully. Faith was Jungkook’s first born, the child his now wife had extreme pregnancy complications with. Faith was born only a few months after the twins so are close in age. ‘Faith’ was a name yourself and Jimin considered using for the twins. When Jungkook’s wife was pregnant, then fiance, Jimin suggested mentioning the name to Jungkook. They didn’t have a name, or so you thought. They didn’t want to mention a name to anyone because of what possibly could have gone wrong in her pregnancy, they were worried about becoming too attached if something terrible happened. Even if God-forbid, something did happen, they had a name in mind. Once she was born, Jimin knew her name was Faith and it made a lot of sense with what the couple went through. Jungkook and his wife loved the name, adding that the name they had for their child didn’t fit.

“10, 9, 8-” you shouted loudly counting down, for all of the girls to hear. You had your eyes on every room each of the girls went in down the long corridor of the Big Hit Offices as they hid from each other. “Time’s up!” you exclaimed, watching the girls appear from the room. “Evie! I told you to check that room” Rose huffed, knowing Faith and Madeline had won that round. Considering she was 5, she remembered A LOT of information. Especially when her twin was wrong. They both loved each other so much but didn’t half love to tease each other at times. “Can I be on a team with Faith please?” Rose asked, running towards Jimin like the Daddy’s girl she is. “As long as everyone is okay with that of course, take it in turns!” he rightly responded. You all made sure that the children felt equal and had their equal turn and nobody felt left out.

Faith and Rose had become really good friends, whereas Evie and Madeline were even more thick as thieves. Madeline was Seokjin’s child. He likes to say she’s named after a cake but we all know that’s not true. Seokjin proposed to his long-time girlfriend and ex BigHit idol in Paris and fell in love with everything Parisian so the name made so much sense when she fell pregnant on their honeymoon. Madeline was younger by just over a year but that didn’t stop their friendship blossoming from an early age. They also attended Jin’s Performing Arts School together so they were literally inseperable.

“GO!” yourself and Jin’s wife shouted after a countdown. “Watching these kids run around make me tired, I need a coffee. Do you want one?” you asked, forgetting she was pregnant with Seokjin’s second child. A boy, soon to be named Gabriel. Again, quintesentially Parisian. “Decaf?” she questioned, laughing. You knew there was some so you nodded your head and headed to the kitchen. There you were met with Jungkook and Jimin. Seokjin was recording for his first solo mixtape and Jungkook was there ready to provide his vocals for the next BTS comeback.

“They’re going wild out there” you chuckled, managing to get a word in edge ways as the boys were chatting away. You had just heard the kettle click to signal it was boiled before you heard an almightly bang and the sound that will kill your soul for the rest of your life.

Within miliseconds, you turned to Jimin knowing it was sound of Evie. The sound was blood curdling. You both had never ran so fast in your life. Seokjin’s wife, who was 8 months pregnant at the time, was at the other end of the corridor dealing with Faith who had fell over from running too fast when the accident happened. You could see her running as fast as she possibly could, waddling in fact, as her face turned white. As you got closer and closer to the door, Jimin started swearing. Something he never did around the children or much at all. “Fuck, please don’t be that room. Please don’t be that fucking room!” he screamed. Due to running so fast, he got to the door before he could even finish his expletive sentence. “EVIE?! EVIE?!” he protested, banging on the door. Adreneline pumping through everyone’s bodies in a different way. You hadn’t even realised you had burned your arm from the hot kettle.

Jungkook wasn’t far behind you when you noticed Jimin look straight past you and more towards your shoulder, meeting eye contact with Jungkook. You turned around to see the fear in Jungkook’s eyes, just like you saw in Jimin’s-

“Y/N, are you ok?” Jimin asked as you came over all funny. “Sorry, I just had a flashback to that moment again” you sighed. It was nobody’s fault, but as a parent, it sticks in your mind. “A whole sound booth fell on her when we weren’t there and she was trapped for 20 minutes” you hushed, walking away from where the children were playing, grasping Jimin’s hand. Her injuries you didn’t even want to think about, as much as she is perfectly fine now, it’s harrowing to think your baby went through that.

Jimin sat you down. “Y/N, we told them not to go in that room and we locked it to even make sure they wouldn’t go in”. Most children were inquisitive and if you said don’t do something, they would go and do it for the sole purpose you said no, but not these girls, they were usually extremely obedient. Which they were, it was all just a bad mistake. Once Jimin locked the room, Seokjin also went to lock the room afterwards and turned the key, thinking he was locking it but instead unlocked it. You all knew. Jimin, Jungkook, you and Seokjin’s wife but you’ve never told him that though, you all didn’t want him to feel guilty as it wasn’t his fault.

In the room was a lone standing sound booth that was faulty and extremely heavy, only slightly resting against the wall. The removers were coming to get it the next day, knowing exactly how to remove such a heavy item after it had been left there from old tenants of the new second building, a kids allowed building. The main building was the main hub for activity but if the children wanted to come along, a smaller second building was purchased so they had their own area to play but still being close to their Father’s. That was extremely important to them.

When entering the room which Evie and Madeline both got mixed up with the room next door, Evie lightly tapped the sound booth whilst looking for a hiding place, which ended up falling on her, narrowly missing Madeline who had only just turned 4 but was the size of a 2 year old. The booth ended up falling and jamming the door allowing anyone to gain entry. The fire service were a credit of getting the children out safely. All you could hear was Evie crying for you and Jimin and trying to calm her down by reassuring her you were there and just outside and “just a little longer before we see you” as you tried not to sound hysterical.

Jimin couldn’t speak at this point. He was doing an extremely low roman chair against the wall, head in his hands with Jungkook passing him tissues and water and trying to calm him down. You hadn’t seen the size of the thing, so you didn’t know what to expect. You were hoping Jimin was just being over dramatic. You couldn’t help but smile as you heard Madeline talk in hushed tones “Evie, just think you will be off school if you have a poorly arm” and “I’m here for you too”. As the door opened, you saw Madeline holding Evie’s hand who’s body was half under the soundbooth. You felt nauseated. By this point, Madeline had already told Seokjin’s wife she was ok and not hurt and kept knocking on the door to prove she could walk around and was ok. She immediately took Rose and Faith away from the scene explaining that they simply got locked in. Seokjin had arrive by this point and seeing you and Jimin beat up, he was the one to do all of the explaining to the ambulance crew as Jungkook started to reassure you both.

You held her hand on the stretcher and Jimin had the other hand, both not able to look at her in her head brace. Thankfully she couldn’t see you were both not looking as she was unable to move her head around far enough because of the brace. Jin stood behind her though, pushing the stretcher so she could see a familiar face and her Uncle Jin always made her laugh. At this point, Madeline was with her Mother after being quickly checked over and got the all clear. Jin offered to come to the hospital and yourself and Jimin silently nodded, knowing you both needed him there.

8 hours later, you learned that there was some internal bleeding as well as 2 broken ribs, a broken leg, crushed little finger and a rather large gash on her shoulder where the side of the booth landed. It was easily the worst day of your life. She could have easily been killed if it fell into her chest.

“Daddy, are you listening?” Rose asked. You both fell into a state of remembering that you didn’t hear the children talking to you for a moment. Rose and Evie were each holding some packets of contacts to which Jimin replied “that’s my girls!” picking them both up, one in each arm and spinning them around. Evie had no pain anymore and was fully healed so it was nice to experience little things like their Dad being able to pick them both up.

You remembered, you had stuff to do. “Benjamin, if you don’t pick up your Dad’s contacts and put on your coat, I will tell DaeDae you loooooveeeee her” teasing him, emphasing the love. DaeDae was the nickname for Taehyung’s only child, Daea (pronounced Day-a). There was DaeDae and TaeTae and hopefully more in the future. Taehyung was still forever in love with his childhood sweetheart and due to marry her in only a couple of weeks. You’ve never seen Benjamin move so fast. He was 7 but had an adorable crush on 4 year old Daea. They always held hands. Jimin and Taehyung loved it. You couldn’t help but love that your child’s first crush was your husband’s best friend’s daughter. “DON’T TELL HER” he said out of fright, zooming to find his coat after picking up his Dad’s contacts.

The girls were already ready and finally Benjamin was too. “Just waiting for your Dad to put his last contact in then we can go”. “Is there going to be food?” Benjamin asked. “You’ve spent way too long with Jin and Jungkook as a child” Jimin giggled as he walked around the corner from the mirror.

He walked over whilst putting on his grey suit jacket which sinched him in at the waist. Even though you had loved him for so many years, he never failed to take your breath away. You both smiled at each other, knowing you were admiring how each other looked as you finally managed to find time to change from your pyjamas to your dress whilst the twins were occupying themselves and Evie was distracted and Benjamin was looking for his coat.

He walked up to you and kissed on the lips, much to the protests of the children. You both giggled. “I’ll go and get (recently turned 3 year old) Samuel up from his nap. It is okay to change him into clothes there right?” you confirmed. He nodded, answering the door as someone buzzed. It was Namjoon to help you with the children, it was always a 3 man job bundling the 4 kids into the car.

You quickly double checked Samuel’s outfit was in the bag and woke him up, slightly stiring but still asleep in your arms. By the time you got to the front door, he was awake. Your first ever baby to not cry when you had to wake them up from their nap for them not to oversleep. It was pure bliss. Namjoon doted on Samuel and was his Godfather. He clapped his hands together, signalling Samuel to come to him which he immediately did. He loves his Uncle Joon. Namjoon smiled whilst explaining he was taking Samuel to the car and Jimin would come back up from buckling the others in just to confirm you both had everything. A job of being a parent. 4 in a 4 year age gap wasn’t easy.

A couple of moments later, Jimin appeared in the door way. He planted a kiss on you again and told you you looked beautiful. “Away from the kids” he smiled, kissing your forehead. Even to this day, you still blush. “Crap! Rose’s medicine” you called, quickly remembering you hadn’t packed it. Rose had an ear infection that was nearly cleared and you couldn’t wait for it to be gone. “What? What?! WhaT?!” was all you heard for the past 2 weeks.

As you got her medication, you looked up and saw Jimin standing there. You were so proud. You noticed his tie was crooked and walked over to pull it up. You felt your shoulders relax, let out a quick sigh from the last 30 minutes down memory lane and chasing your eldest and smiled. “I’m so proud of you, you know that right?” you asked Jimin. He knew it. You told him everyday but even if he didn’t want you too, you would still tell him. “I know” he replied, kissing your forehead again.

He led you to walk out of the door before you stopped him in the doorway. “Are you ready to do this?” you asked, knowing what the answer was but just making sure. He nodded and smiled half lipped before turning to a full one and his eyes getting even brighter than they already were. His mouth opened and you already knew what words would come out. “It’s time”.

Your eyes were full of tears. For the first time in 3 years, the boys were on stage together. About to announce their return as a full group. When they walked out, the room erupted and then erupted further when they realised Jimin was there too. You honestly didn’t think there was a dry eye in the house.

It was never Jimin’s plan to leave the group and he thankfully stuck to his word. He wanted to see the baby milestones he missed out on with Benjamin due to him touring a lot. He didn’t want to miss his children growing up. But as they settled into a routine and were becoming more aware of their Dad’s job, it seemed the right time for him to go back. Nonetheless, he wanted to wait an extra year so Samuel was in school but with the impending comeback, Jimin was needed for the album. It was never BTS without a member missing.

Through the 3 years people had been absent for numerous reasons. Childbirth, watching their children grow up, marriages, long honeymoons, enlistment.. The group itself went down to only the rapline at one point and slowly the vocal line started coming back after a year, now complete with Jimin back.

You didn’t even hear half of what they had to say, the whole table full of wives and girlfriends were in tears. Namjoon was the only one to have a girlfriend and not a wife/fiance, albeit they had been wanting to be in a relationship for a while but personal matters complicated things. Hoseok and Taehyung both had fiances, Taehyung was marrying her soon and Hoseok was marrying his fiance the following year. The fans were supportive as ever, that was the main thing.

You couldn’t help it when Taehyung started addressing the table as being their key motivations and then the camera cutting to the children who were backstage being looked after by BigHit staff. The members wanted them to be there watching and cheering their Dad’s on. It was such an important moment to them.

“We’re back” Jungkook chuckled. By this point, Jungkook was just as fluent in English as Namjoon and delivered the rest of the speech. Your eyes clocked Jimin and he burst out into even more tears, dropping to the floor much like you remember him doing at Citifield all those years before when he was inspired to write his first solo song.

Trying to breathe slowly, you watched the members deliver their speech and leave the stage. You can’t lie and say the past 3 years hadn’t been the best 3 years of your life with Jimin because they were, but you honestly couldn’t wait for him to get back to his passion. He had released a lot of solo projects in the past 3 years with the vocal line appearing on some of his songs. When this happened, he knew he had to go back if it was the last thing he did.

“Guess what?” Jimin questioned, walking up to you at the end of the awards show. “Namjoon and N/G/N are going to take the children tonight. It’s been around 3 months since we had a proper date. I think we deserve this considering the occasion". You felt so excited but your mind quickly raced to Evie. “But Evie-” you stammered out before Jimin cut you off. “I have just been with her and talking to her. She said she wants to play with the others and have a big sleepover so we are fine” he nodded, placing your head in his hands. Your heart started racing. You both really hadn’t been on a date in what felt like such a long time, especially in Seoul.

Because of Jimin rejoining the group, you both invested in a house in Seoul as well as having your family home in Busan, just so you could all be closer as a family. With none of the boys now living together, it also made sense as 4/7 lived together when Jimin first left the group. Your parents also wanted to be closer to the family so made the move over when you purchased the house in Seoul. There was always someone looking after a house.

“You’re seriously taking me to a karaoke room?” you giggled, walking into a building that was familiar to you from when you first started dating. “But you hate these places” you continued. “I thought it was time we let our hair down” Jimin stated, pulling you up the narrow staircase. The thing about this karaoke room is that it was a complete secret with a secret entrance and passcode. It is specifically made for people in the Korean Entertainment Industry and you need to book online to book a spot.

Jimin quickly typed in the unique passcode and gained entry before you could realise you had chewing gum stuck to your feet. “Ew, I hope whoever was brought here has more class at home” you laughed, knowing the comment would make Jimin chuckle, especially as he knew exactly which Idol you were on about.

Recently, one of Jimin’s friends from outside of BTS but still an Idol, found out about this place and started to bring his hook ups, one of them being a friend of yours. You and Jimin teased about it to each other all the time as they were obviously in love but didn’t want to admit it. You both continued the conversation about the pair before stumbling across your room.

As soon as you entered you were the first to grab the remote. You loved karaoke rooms and checking out what each one had to offer in terms of song selection. You were flicking through and noticed something rather quickly. “Our wedding song is on here. Our first date song. Our first ever dance. The songs we play the children. The songs you sing to me. It’s as if..” “I had planned it?” Jimin said, looking at you with a pleasing eye. “Jiminnnn” you trailed off, pulling him into hug you. Then it all suddenly clicked. “Namjoon was always looking after the kids huh?” you asked. He explained that’s why Namjoon picked them up, so he could have their car seats. It all made sense.

Through-out the next few hours, you had a ball. Jimin sang to you, you sang to Jimin, you sang together. Everytime Jimin sang to you, you couldn’t help but laugh as he was choosing the silliest of songs that brought back the funniest of memories. You did the same. When you sang together, you sang songs that you both sing to the children or ones they really loved.

Jimin was trying to choose what to sing next. You had a request but you felt silly, but you had never heard him sing it. “Can you please sing our wedding song?” you hushed quietly. The vocal line, minus Jimin, actually sang the song at your wedding but you had never heard Jimin sing the actual song. “What?” he asked, not understanding a word you said. “Our wedding song. Can you please sing it? I’ve never heard you sing it and I’d like too” you smiled, walking closer to him since you went up to get a drink, sitting down next to him and linking his arm whilst putting your head on his shoulder. “You really want me too?” he asked. You nodded.

The way his unique voice filled the song brought tears to your eyes reminising on your wedding and how you felt. Your vows and your dress. You felt as though you were walking down the aisle again, but this time, your husband was next to you.

Mid-way through the song, Jimin noticed you crying. “Oh darling no-” he laughed slightly, kneeling down in front of you and wiping your tears away. “It brings back memories” you choked, looking up and him, realising it did exactly the same for him as his eyes were puffy and watery too.

He reached for the monitor and turned it off and came back to sit next to you. The next few minutes you spoke about your wedding and how far you had come. You also spoke about the future and how you both hope there would be more moments like this, even though Jimin was going to become extremely busy again. “At least now, every night, I can come home to my family” he smiled, summing up the conversation perfectly. He was right. He really would be coming home every night and was just streets away if you needed him during the day.

You both pulled yourselves together and stood up and let out a sigh. “You know” Jimin said rather seductively, pushing your hair behind your ear. He continued, “The children are out tonight so what better time than-”. You instantly cut him off. “COME ON, LET’S GO” you proclaimed, brushing past him and grabbing his hand so he could follow you out of the building. You weren’t missing this. The idea of having sex and not having the worry the children or even the members potentially walking in was currently your idea of heaven.

It was the first morning in a long time when you’ve woken up of your own accord. No children or the dog, Milo, bothering you. Yes, Jimin got the dog he had always wanted. You both mutually agreed not to try for any more children, if it happened, it happened and it would be a blessing but it’s not something you both actively seeked out anymore. You both got the 2 boys and 2 girls you had always wanted and they were healthy, that being the main thing. So once the idea of trying for children was out of the way and once Yoongi had also just bought a dog (the children went nuts begging for one), you felt the time was right. Their face was a picture when Jimin walked in with Milo on Christmas Day, a tan and white Sheltie dog. Milo was still in the house but peaceful by the log fire and you couldn’t help but wonder if this experience was a gift for him too, thinking about the peace he was getting this morning without the children trying to dress him up in the twin’s fancy dress outfits from their costume box.

“It’s the last full day at home” Jimin yawned, tired from last night’s events. He was facing you as you both woke up, somewhat intertwined between each other. He moved closer to you as he moved his hand from under your back which led him to have pins and needles shooting up his arm and had to wriggle it around for a hot minute to try and get rid of the sensation. Once achieved, his arm came back down and draped over your side, pulling you even closer to him. “It’s a shame I want this every morning but I’ll be back at work tomorrow” he sighed. You knew just how much he wanted to spend every morning with you like this but the need to go back to work was all too great and the excuse of ‘I wanted to spend a few extra minutes with my wife in bed’ wouldn’t get anyone anywhere in life. “I’ll make you a deal” you chuckled, knowing fine well you were going to regret it knowing how tired you were going to be from the suggestion if he accepts. His eyes widened with curiosity. “I promise to wake up at 5:30 every morning with you. The twins always run into the room just minutes after 6 so that will give us 30 minutes of pure relaxation. Dea-”. You couldn’t even utter the words ‘deal’ out of your mouth before he had kissed you. Obviously meaning a deal. You were both alone in the house, it was good to make use of the time right? You were married after-all.

Jimin’s hands followed the same path on your body that they did the night before. Trailing along your back and to your core. It was only a matter of time before he was on top of you, leaving kisses along the same path his hands had just went on. This time, instead of his focus going South, he trailed his kisses up your stomach and towards your neck, delicately leaving soft traces from his wet lips all over your sensitive neck area. He instantly became handsy again as his lips reached yours after calling out his name. The fire in your stomach was roaring but you needed his lips on yours. That was your idea of the perfect intimate moment between the two of you. Feeling like absolutely nothing could undeter your lust and passion for one another during a kiss, not even his hands moving slowly down your body could make your mind wander from the kisses he gave you. In that moment, you were on cloud nine, thinking you didn’t want this moment to end until- “-Daddy, have you lost something? Mummy can’t help you if you’re on top of her” Rose asked, casually walking into the bedroom...

“SHIT!” you heard Namjoon silently mutter as he covered his eyes, running after the twins in your bedroom, trying not to look at you both flapping around covering your naked bodies. “Namjoon! What are you doing here?” Jimin questioned after quickly finding his boxers that you threw on the floor the night before. “Jimin, it’s 1pm. They were supposed to be home at 11am but I thought I’d give you some alone time.. It looks like it went on longer than expected” Namjoon chuckled, passing him some pyjama trousers that were on the pile of clothes ready to be put into your room, one of the chores Jimin said he would help you with today. “N/G/N really enjoyed looking after the children. I think she’s getting broody” you heard Namjoon say once you had walked out fully clothed. “I’m guessing you don’t see it yet sensing the tone?” you asked intrigued. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Namjoon paused. Yourself and Jimin were confused, looking at each other across from the kitchen island, no idea what he was about to say. “I know today is your last day at home Jimin but I’m wondering whether you both could help me” Namjoon asked, facing Jimin and then to you as if to ask for permission. “Of course, anything” you both said in unison. “You know how I’m the GodFather of Samuel and N/G/N is the GodMother? Well I was wondering if I could take him this afternoon for a day out and if he could wear this” Namjoon questioned, handing you a Samuel sized tshirt. “It’s not a problem for you to take Samuel, Namjoon, you know that” Jimin laughed, hitting him slightly in the arm. “Hopefully I can get the other kids looked after and me and Y/N can finish where we left off” Jimin cackled, playing it off as a joke but you could tell he was kind of being serious.

Tears pricked your eyes. “I’m only joking Y/N, of course we’ll spend time with the older kids today-” you cut Jimin off. “It’s not that” you sobbed. Silently gasping for air from the cute gesture in front of you. You read aloud the shirt “To my Godmother, I was wondering whether you would marry my GodFather? All my love, Samuel”. Jimin looked straight at you and back to Namjoon. “You’re proposing?!” Jimin belted out, not caring if anyone heard. Namjoon nodded, tears coming to his eyes too. You all gathered around for a group hug without uttering another word and after a short moment, yourself and Jimin stepped back looking at Namjoon as if you were sending him off on his first day of school. You rushed to get Samuel a new set of diapers and the other essentials and sent him off with Namjoon, hoping to hear good news in the soon.

A couple of hours later, after a nice day in with the older children binging on food and watching films, there was a knock on the door. You opened it to a huge ring in your face. Yourself and N/G/N had become really close so you couldn’t help have a girly catch up for just over an hour as Namjoon and Jimin spoke about some trip they were planning. Now that was that. All of the Bangtan Boys had a ring on a girl’s finger and all that was left was for them to complete their families with children and you couldn’t wait to watch.

As Namjoon and his now fiance slowly left, you watched the way they interacted with all of the kids. You remembered back to when yourself and Jimin were so scared when babysitting your cousin for the first time. That was the first time you had ever mentioned having children. You wondered what was going on in their minds, were they feeling this sort of way too? It was wonderful and intriguing to watch.

“We have 3 more hours before we send the twins off to bed. How about we watch their film and then Benjamin can watch what he wants afterwards?” Jimin suggested to you when walking to the fridge to fetch them more ice cream. You had been stood up in the kitchen for a while, folding away the rest of the laundry that still needed to be hung up in your room but thankfully coming to the end of it so you could finally relax. You nodded, grabbing Jimin’s hand and squeezing it as if to say ‘everything will be ok’. You always sensed his nerves, he was so nervous to leave the children and for what was to come. Without saying a word to each other, you both walked over to the couch hand in hand, you leaving the laundry for tomorrow, and explained that the girls’ film would go first before bed. Benjamin was ok about this as the girls has mutually agreed on a not so girly film. Benjamin was in his element in his racing car chair and stuffing his face as per usual whilst the girls ever so silently managed to budge their way between you and Jimin, Jimin holding Samuel and cooing over him.

When the film ended, you wanted Jimin to put the girls to bed on his own. It’s not like he would never experience putting them to bed ever again but you wanted him to explain how things were going to be from now on. Their Daddy wont always be there when they wake up or when they get home from their school but it wont be very much longer after they come home for him to arrive home. All the things you thought he should mention, he did, as he briefed you upon return. By this point, you had already put Samuel down too as he was out like a light and didn’t want to disturb him with what you guessed would be Spiderman as Benjamin’s choice of film. Thank you to Jin and Jungkook for that one.

Jimin had already explained everything to Benjamin with him being older and more aware of adult conversations, he knew something was going on so Jimin made the decision to talk to him. Benjamin was cool about it, especially because he doesn’t arrive home from school until after Jimin would return from work anyway and since Benjamin is home schooled 3 days out of the week and it occurs in the BigHit offices that the children can attend. It was mutually agreed between all of the parents that this happens due to wanting the children to socialise with other children at a mainstream school but also so they get an actual education rather than be interrupted every class about talk that their parents are in BTS. Benjamin attended mainstream school for 2 years but after some investigation due to Benjamin falling behind academically, it seemed as though classes were sometimes interrupted by the topic of BTS so everyone felt like this was the right decision to make not only for Benjamin but for other children in class too.

Yourself and Jimin were cuddled up on the couch as Benjamin remained in his car chair. “Dad. I’m going to miss you” Benjamin suddenly blurted out, turning his body to face you and Jimin. By God did those words sting you. Jimin remained strong explaining how it would be exactly the same as before, but instead of being at home whilst Benjamin was at school, he’d be at work in the same place he attended school. Benjamin nodded as he walked close to you both and jumped between the two of you. You both looked at each other and it was as if you were speaking telepathically. This child was the most unexpected surprise you had both ever received and became such a huge blessing. He was the cause of so many controversies before he was even born yet despite knowing all of this as you were very transparent with him due to the world you lived in, he was the most calm and down to Earth child you had ever come across. This boy was the person to allow you to see Jimin as the man you love the most, the Father to your children.

You both simultaneously kissed him on the forehead but you sensed something was wrong and you guessed Jimin had sensed it too since he asked him “There’s something else. What’s wrong my son?”. Benjamin leant more over to Jimin, cuddling into him slightly tighter, not seeming to want to let go. “Dad. When you go on tour, you wont leave me will you?” he asked, looking up to Jimin with puppy dog eyes. Jimin spun him around on his lap resting on the arm rest of the couch, so Benjamin was facing both him and you. “I’ll not be leaving any single one of you and that’s my absolute promise” he smiled up to him. “Pinky promise?” Benjamin giggled. “Pinky promise” Jimin responded, holding out his pinky and locking it with Benjamin’s.

Your heart died at that little moment but you all naturally went back into watching the film. Benjamin now equal distribution between the both of you. As the film came to an end and it was time for Benjamin’s bed time, you both went to say goodnight. Benjamin was quite grown up for his age, he wasn’t bothered about being tucked in, no bedtime stories or a nightlight, however he was a sucker for a good night hug from his parents and a glass of warm milk with a bit of vanilla honey in it. Jimin stayed with Benjamin as you made his hot milk, thinking about how lucky you were to have such a wonderful life, the ping from the microwave darting you from your day dream. You added in the vanilla honey and stirred whilst walking back to the bedroom. You said your goodnights and started to slowly leave his room. “Dad” you heard him whisper like he always did due to his room being next door to Samuel’s. “What is it son?” Jimin asked, walking towards him and you following, wanting to know what he had to say. “I can’t wait to see you on stage again so I can show my friends and say that I am proud” Benjamin smiled sweetly from what you could see in the dark, light radiating from his face from the somewhat light nights of the early Autumn in Seoul peaking through his window. You could sense Jimin was beaming. “So you can tell your friends your Dad is a singer and you’re proud?” Jimin giggled, somewhat in a heartclenching way, proud as punch. “No, silly” Benjamin responded. “I am proud that you’re my Dad” And with that, Jimin’s eyes pooled with tears, letting a tear slip onto Benjamin’s forehead as he kissed him goodnight one more time.

Walking into the light of the hallway, far enough away from Benjamin’s room, Jimin turned around and fell to the floor, gripping his knees. “After all of this time, I thought I was a bad Dad for leaving him when I had the tours or other commitments with BTS and he says things like that” he cried as you went on your knees in front of him. “He’s so sweet because you’re his Father” you chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. “Y/N, I really thought I had messed up you know” he stated. You were so confused. Your whole demeanour changed from laughing to being concerned. You looked at him dazed and he knew instantly that you had no idea what he was talking about. “I thought he would hate me for the rest of my life, knowing that I stayed home with Samuel his whole first 2 years, the twins as often as I could and Benjamin not as often as I would have liked. It’s something he could easily find online. I was just so scared Y/N” he confessed. You were stunned. You knew Jimin felt this way when Benjamin was younger and sometimes felt guilty but you didn’t know it affected him this much. “Jimin. Have you seen our children? Have you seen how they adore you? It’s not the time you spend with them but how you spend your time with them that counts” you smiled back, helping him back to his feet. Those words seemed to stick with him forever as from then on, he never let any moment with the kids be a dull one, no matter whether he was tired, sick, stressed.. He always made sure to spend the time he had with the children to the fullest.

“Y/N” you heard him whisper as you both got under your white silk sheets to counteract the body heat that radiates off the both of you in the hot Autumn nights. He faced you and took both of your hands, interacting both of your pinkies with his. “I promise you, the rest of our lives will continue to feel like heaven. No matter where we are physically and mentally. It’s always you and the children who come first and I promise you that I will never let your smile leave your face.” He trailed off slowly as you leant towards him for a long passionate kiss. You cupped his face between your hands to send him some quick kisses to finish off the long passionate one before you went to sleep. “I know” you smiled. You both smiled back at each other in unison and moved your bodies closer together and intertwined with one another that was comfortable enough for you both to fall asleep in.

“Jimin” you said, opening your eyes about 2 minutes after shutting them. It was as if your body took over as you didn’t know what words were about to come out of your mouth. “Mm?” he questioned, already half asleep. You kissed his forehead and gently recentered back before letting out the words “Tomorrow will be the start of an awfully big adventure”. Your eyes were closing but not fast enough to see the smirk on Jimin’s lip and the mouthing of the words “I love you” before you were sent into a deep sleep.

_____________________________________________________________________

You couldn’t believe what you saw in front of you. It was as if you were experiencing an outer body experience. You reached for the phone and called Jimin straight away. “I know you’re preparing for tour babe, but you need to come home” you muttered out of the words. Jimin could sense your concern straight away so rushed home.

The past 2 years since Jimin returned to BTS had been amazing. He always came home at the time he said he would, always made sure to be home for food being on the table for a family meal and always kept his promises to the children. Rest assured, he did not want to go on a worldwide tour until Samuel was older and started going to nursery and that it was better for him to fly long distances, rather than being a baby. Whilst they did go on tour, they only had 3 dates in North America, 1 in South America, 3 dates in Europe and 2 in Korea as well as an independent Japanese tour. Yourself and the children had joined him in both Europe and North America, before parting for a week whilst they performed in South America and you and the children returned home before Jimin came back to join you to finish off the tour in Korea.

You kept thinking about how Jimin was looking forward to such a long tour. He knew he would be tired, you all would be, but you were going to be there for most of it. By this point, you all mutually decided to take your children out of regular school and have them homeschooled. They needed to be with their Fathers. You all didn’t want them to miss out on anything. You all saw this as one big adventure, bringing the children along for the ride for the first time ever on a full blown tour. The tour overall would be 5 months, with a 6 week break in between. It was doable with children, especially since it was planned out to the finest detail. You couldn’t stop thinking about all of those fine details, everything that was planned and ultimately how everything was going to fail before it even commenced..

“Is that-” Jimin gasped, walking through the door of your bedroom. You didn’t even hear him come in. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks, your hands start to tremor and tears come to your eyes. You hadn’t been in this situation since you were 20.

“Y/N..” he trailed off, climbing onto the bed behind you and scooping his arms around your front. “I guess 5 is our lucky number” you let out a loose laugh. You didn’t know what to think in that moment. “Really Y/N is this real? I don’t know what to believe” Jimin quieried, shocked. You both knew the answer. It was real. It was wrote there in black and white. ‘Pregnant’.

After the birth of Samuel, you never expected to get pregnant again, especially because of your condition. The Doctors told you that due to your condition, your fertility would be practically non-existent by the time you were in your late 20s which you were now. There was just no way. Even though you weren’t using protection, you never expected this to happen. It didn’t happen since Samuel so you already dealt with the fact you could no longer have children. The shock was intense.

Tears filled Jimin’s eyes when the news settled. You already had had a few hours to process it. “This feels like Benjamin all over again-” Jimin let out. Those words felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders as you were worried to say the same thing. “It’s the unexpected” you responded, grabbing his hand. “Baby, we’re having another baby” you giggled, scooching closer towards Jimin and kissing him multiple times to the point he started joking that you were acting like Milo. He told you he loved you and how happy he was a million times as he laid you on your back, tracing your stomach and asking the ‘little one’, as he called the baby growing inside of you, if they were okay, asking them to grow big and strong for their parents.

After the happiness came the downfall, the tour. “Where does that leave us?” you asked after a brief discussion. “It’s only 5 months and it starts in 2 weeks, yes you’ll have morning sickness but by the end of the tour you’ll be close to 7 months pregnant right? We should be ok..” you had to stop him. “Jimin, my illness. I have to be closely monitored by a Doctor.”. “Y/N, there’s no way on this Earth that you’re not coming with me, I’ll get you a Doctor to be by your side this whole tour. I promise you.” You were scared, you weren’t going to lie. The unexpected, the nerves, the idea of being ill whilst looking after 4 children with another one growing inside of you. Jimin could sense all of this. “Look Y/N, all of the wives are coming with us. They’ve got your back like all of us members do. I know they’ll all do their share in helping out. It’s always the way it’s been.” He didn’t have to tell you that. You knew. You knew how wonderful your friends and family were. The realisation soon hit though and your face was a beaming mess. “Jimin, we’re having another baby” you smiled, hugging him once more, tears falling down your face. “5 children under the age of 30.. What have we let ourselves in for” Jimin laughed causing you to chuckle with him. “-But there’s only 4” Hoseok asked confused, letting himself in after bringing Jimin’s bag back from the studio which he had left. “Think about it Hoseok..” Jimin giggled, rubbing your stomach in front of him.

As he promised, a Doctor was by your side every step of the way and good riddance too as your morning sickness in the beginning was terrible. Thankfully you didn’t have many bad days once you reached 4 months pregnant. This was also the time yourself and Jimin told the world, announced by his notorious VLives. “What’s the gender?! Everyone is asking” Jimin smirked, reading the comments out loud as you were lying on the bed away from the camera. “Are you having fun in New York? Congratulations! How far along is Y/N? Jimin tell us the gender!” He couldn’t stop laughing from all of the questions and neither could you. “Y/N is 4 months pregnant and whilst we could know the gender, for the first time we have decided not the find out until the birth of our little one. The baby has been called ‘nugget’ by Samuel. His favourite food at the moment. It’s better than “jelly squishy eyeball” that Rose came up with I guess. We have 2 of each gender and we’ll be lucky to have whichever gender this baby is. As long as they’re healthy, we don’t mind.” Jimin explained.

You were tucked up in the blanket, texting Jin to ask how the twins were getting on and how Namjoon was dealing with the boys. Namjoon’s now wife just found out she was pregnant quite far on in her pregnancy to the point she could find out the gender straight away. It was a little baby boy. Namjoon wanted to look after the boys to see what life would be like as a Dad to a boy. He took every chance he could get. “Y/N, what gender do you think?” Jimin asked. “I’ve said from the start I think it’s a boy. Everyone thinks so.” you explained, Jimin moving the camera around to where you were on the bed but not getting you fully in focus to respect your privacy of only being in an oversized shirt.. “If our baby is a boy, we have enough boys to make a replica BTS” Jimin giggled “so yes, I think it’s a boy too” he carried on explaining.

The next few months were a whirlwind, it went by so fast and soon enough you were back in Korea, settling down and decorating the baby’s room grey, white and yellow and in a zoo theme. The only bad thing that occurred is when you when you were returning from tour and you ended up tripping over one of the fansites at the airport and were rushed to hospital in fear of the baby’s safety but thankfully, all was okay and you were free to leave.

It’s not to say the tour didn’t have it’s struggles either. Jimin needed to find his work/life/social balance and at first it was a challenge, but nothing you couldn’t handle. It was more an internal struggle for himself, but there’s only so much help you can give a person without ruling their life and as a wife, that’s something you didn’t want to do. On the days Jimin didn’t have a show or practice which was 4/7 days, he would spend them solely with the family. On the other days, he would spend the days with his friends but would always be back by 6pm not on show dates. Obviously you all attended the shows as a family too. It was also made a deal that each member got their own day child free for date day with their significant others. However because you were pregnant and had the most children anyway, you struggled to look after the babies but would more than happily take the older ones as they were never any problem.

You couldn’t help but reminisce about the tour as you put up the last photo in the baby’s room. “It was a great tour wasn’t it” Jimin smiled, kissing your bare shoulder as you were walking around in only your Calvin Klein cotton grey underwear set. The photo you just hung up was a frame that Yoongi and his wife bought you and Jimin of all the places you had visited on tour with bump. The map was grey with yellow stars highlighting the cities. It was wonderful.

“Mommy, Daddy..” Samuel sighed, walking into the room hand in hand with Benjamin. “Samuel wants to give you something” Benjamin smiled, ushering Samuel forward. “Give this to nugget” Samuel spoke softly. “But darling, this is yours and Benjamin’s remember?” Jimin responded, knowing your hormones were about to tip you over the edge. “We know Dad. We want to give Nugget this” Benjamin beamed back. “Nugget can have elephant as a present” Samuel joined in with the beaming of his brother. “Are you sure?” you asked, bending down to their level and picking them both up and placing them on the bed beside you. They both nodded. Elephant was Benjamin’s first ever cuddly animal. When you told Taehyung about your pregnancy with Benjamin, he instantly bought you and Jimin gifts, everything you could ever imagine that you hadn’t even thought about yet. “This is Vante, Vante the eleph-vante. Get it?” he chuckled, pointing out all the gifts he had bought you. The memory came back to you so vividly. “I asked Uncle Tae and he said it’s ok” Benjamin said, as if to know what you were thinking. You will never forget the day Samuel was sick and you walked into his room whilst he was sleeping to find Benjamin lying next to him, awake, asking him if he wanted to keep the cuddly toy, to remind him of his big brother when he went to sleep. Samuel was never away from that teddy since then, until now.

“You’ve done this 4 times already! This baby will slip right out” the Nurse giggled, rushing to your bedside after Jimin rushed you to hospital after your waters broke all over the Gucci store’s floor. You were shopping for baby gifts for Taehyung’s baby who was recently just announced and as soon as you reached the baby section, it was go time for you. Taehyung’s baby still had 6 months to arrive, it could wait whilst you pushed a baby out of you. “Well 3 times actually, I had twins” you joked back, hoping the idea of this baby just slipping out was true.

“Y/N, you’re already 10cm dialated. I’m getting the Doctor in now for you to push” the Nurse quickly explained, buzzing in the Doctor. Jimin looked calm yet stressed at the same time. Labour had never happened like this before, it was either scheduled, or slow and agonising. “Jimin, this is the last time I’m doing this” you gasped in between pushes. Everyone in the room giggled, in the moment, you didn’t find anything funny. You were being deadly serious. You forgot how much this shit hurt.

Jimin looked down as he always did and tears kept falling as they had done from when your water broke. “Blonde hair! I see loads of blonde hair!” he gasped. None of your other children had been light haired but since you were naturally light haired, it made for a happy change. “If you keep pushing like you are doing, the baby should be out within the next 2 minutes, keep going!” the Doctor championed on.

And with that, silence filled the room as you breathed a sigh of relief, followed by a high shrieked cry coming from your baby. “5:22pm” you heard the Nurse call. “Jimin, that’s our anniversary” you let out, somewhat speechless because of the coincidence and also because you just pushed a 6lb 4 baby from your vagina. By this point, Jimin had his head in your chest, thanking you for another wonderful gift.

The moment was broken by a Nurse asking “you haven’t found out the gender yet right?”. Jimin didn’t know, you both made the decision to not know until the baby was placed in your arms so as the baby was entering the world, he looked up at you, telling you he loved you countless times. You also requested the baby to be wrapped in a white blanket, no way of knowing judging by a colour.

“I want to wait-” you paused. “I want the children to meet the baby as nugget, before any names arrive. They got attached to nugget didn’t they” you smiled, looking down at your beautiful baby. You knew in your heart the gender. You just knew. But you were struggling with a name. “They’re right outside. I’ll go and get them” Jimin smiled, kissing you on the forehead before leaving. Jungkook was looking after the children whilst his wife and daughters were on a girly spa day, so brought them over immediately when he heard the news from Jimin that the labour wasn’t going to be a long one and he should bring the children.

The baby in front of you symbolised the end of yours and Jimin’s gifts to the world. You always thought Samuel was the last, but this baby was a very much welcomed surprise. Your heart flickered when their eyes started to slowly open, showing their Dad’s brown eyes beautifully. “You have double lids like Samuel” you giggled, gently feathering your babies lashes with your thumb.

“NUGGET!” Samuel cried out, running towards the bed. “Be careful!” Jimin shouted, escorting in the twins who looked slightly nervous. “This, this is nugget?” Benjamin stammered. Benjamin was old enough now to realise what was going on. “I’m your big brother” he smiled. That instantly caused you to cry as he started reaching over to kiss her. After the moment of sheer heart flutter, Jimin plonked them on the bed one by one next to you.

“Wait Dad!” Evie stopped Jimin before settling on the bed, “Can you bring the bag?” she asked. Rose nodding along. The children were having a conversation amongst themselves whilst you basked at the vision of your life in front of you, bliss.

“Here boys, this is from you to nugget” Rose stated, handing the boys an item wrapped in random wrapping paper they’d obviously found from the craft cupboard. “This one is from us!” Rose and Evie chanted in unison, wanting to get in first. “You didn’t have to do anything” you smiled. You opened up the bag and both girls had drew a picture of the family, it was adorable and in your emotional state, it was a lot to take in. You couldn’t help notice that at the bottom of the bag were strewn chicken nuggets from their McDonalds run with Jungkook before arriving to the hospital. Thankfully minus any dipping sauce otherwise the gifts would be ruined.

“What’s this?” you asked, pulling a gift from the bag. One labelled Mummy and one Daddy. You opened it up to see a necklace with charms added on it, an initial for each one of your children. “An extra E?” you asked, confused, looking at Jimin as if he knew something as he opened up his watch, it engraved with the initials of his children. Jungkook was in the room at the time and cared to explain. “We all chipped in for these gifts. You’ve both been amazing role models to us as parents and this is only a small token as to how we can pay you back. They all came to myself and Jin and asked if we could help them with a present for you. When Benjamin mentioned about initials, we all loved the idea but we didn’t know the gender, let alone what you would name the baby. Rose and Evie were dead set on N for Nugget but we all thought maybe not. We were going to leave it blank but Samuel kept repeating E over and over again when we asked about initials. We thought to humour him we may as well just do it and if it were to be any other initial we would just get you a new charm and add to your engraving Jimin” he explained, hugging you both towards the end.

Composing yourself after such a generous gift, you wanted to dig deeper. “Why E Samuel?” you asked. Without a moments hesitation, he handed you the gift. “Elephant” you smiled, opening the present, carefully unwrapping the craft paper which you knew you wanted to keep. You kept looking at the elephant due to it being such a wonderful token from the boys that you seemed to miss a crucial clue. “Oh my God Y/N, look at the foot” Jimin gasped. On the front of the elephant’s foot read a name, wrote in Benjamin’s handwriting out of the request of Samuel.

“Elephant. Elephant for my nugget. Elephant for Ellie Nugget” he cooed, reaching over to the baby and smiling above.

“ELLIE! Ellie-Elephant” he beamed. “But what if it’s not a girl?” Jimin giggled, watching him call the baby Ellie without even knowing the gender.

“Jimin.” you stopped. Your eyes weeped and your head tilted back hitting the somewhat comfortable hospital pillow. "Call it Mother's intuition and I’m so sorry but I don’t think your boyband is complete yet. I think this is our baby Ellie” you smiled. Even by looking at your face, he knew you were right. He trusted your instincts completely.

Jimin took the baby from you and stared right into their eyes. He layed the baby down on the table. He turned around, his chocolate brown eyes looking even more heavenly. “We’ve got another Princess” he bashfully said..

“Welcome to the World, Ellie”

_____________________________________________________________________

“Ellie, I swear if you hit your brother one more time, you’ll not be allowed to go to the concert next week” Jimin put his foot down. The children had been acting up all day and it was driving you both insane. Thankfully the other members were on their way to have a nice gathering at your house for Taehyung’s birthday.

“You’ve now joined me at 30!” Jimin laughed, pulling Taehyung in for a hug when he walked through the door. “You’re early?” you questioned, hoping the other members would get here before him. “Oh, well I have a good reason for that” he smiled. Taehyung’s presence had somehow managed to calm down the children, he seemed to have that calming effect on all of them. “Hold on, where’s T/G/N?” you asked, completely confused as to why she and Daea weren’t there.

Without a moments notice, Taehyung shot out words that neither you and Jimin were expecting. “I’m joining the club” he laughed, knowing you both would become even more confused. The club? What was he on about. “T/G.N isn’t here because she’s at the hospital, we’re having twins” he beamed. More children!? This Bangtan Baby malarky was becoming not only a band, but the whole K-Pop community. This was most certainly the last children BTS were planning on having, especially because 6/7 of them were now in their 30s with multiple children.

You couldn’t help but cry. T/G/N and Taehyung had been trying for a child for the past 3 years and after a try of IVF, which nobody knew they were having until now, they were successful. “But I’m here to ask your permission..” he trailed off, looking at you both in the eyes, constantly going between the two of you but still at a slow enough pace to see the sincerity in his eyes.

“It’s a boy and a girl. Y/N, I’ve admired the way you have brought up your children and been an absolutely amazing role model to Daea as well as helping myself and T/G/N through extremely difficult times of conceiving as well as online backlash from fans when we announced our engagement. I don’t think I can ever explain how happy you have made me in my life. You made me the Godfather to your children and that’s something I can never put into words. Myself and Y/N would be honoured if our daughter could take your first name as her middle name”. You couldn’t believe what he was saying. Did yours and Jimin’s relationship and parental skills influence people so much? It seemed so.

“And Jimin” Taehyung said, turning to him. “I honestly don’t know where to start. You’re my best friend and someone I have known since high school. I will always remember the day you came to me and told me that a beautiful girl had came to your house to do a study for a school project on Korean families and you wanted to make her yours. You told me you’d marry her and have kids with her someday. Then that happened, a lot quicker than expected. You both faced backlash for being young and not married when the news was announced Y/N was pregnant with Benjamin. It affected you more than I have ever seen anything affect anyone. You just wanted the world to be happy for you because you were so indescribably happy. You walked on air and suddenly had this spring in your step as it was slowly sinking in that you were going to be a Dad. I remember not really understanding how someone could be so happy. Then Daea arrived and all of that changed. You were there to guide me and comfort me when times were hard but I honestly don’t think that I could have been this great a Father if it wasn’t for you. That’s why myself and T/G/N are wondering whether you would give us the honour of naming our son Jimin, after you”.

How was it that all of a sudden, you suddenly get a deeper connection with someone you have known for years? You both nodded your heads like puppy dogs in agreement to what he was asking and gave him the biggest hug possible, both pushing him back on the couch before the children joined by jumping on their Uncle Tae.

“Where’s Daea?” Benjamin asked, smitten. “Benji, I think I will be upset if you don’t marry my daughter someday” Taehyung laughed. Oh, if only he could see the future and how slippery that slope could be.

All the members and their families had arrived by this point, with Taehyung telling everyone the good news. T/G/N and Daea arrived shortly after to a round of applause and congratulations. Benjamin ran immediately over to play with Daea, obviously.

You couldn’t help but look at the sight in front of you and feel yourself getting emotional. You were introduced to BTS after falling in love with Jimin. You had only met a few members a few times before you found out you were pregnant. You were scared they were only getting to know you because they had too, but that wasn’t the case at all. You all had your own little families, but this was one big family. Indescribable and something nobody could ever reciprocate. Other than your husband, the members were like brothers, their wives like your best friends and their children like the children you would have been blessed to birth yourself. You loved them all so much and were in love with this idea of heaven.

“I need to say something”. Words left your mouth faster than you could speak and by the time you had registered what you had said, everyone was staring at you in silence, even the children. “I-I-” you stammered, not exactly sure where to start.

“I love you all and-”

You couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened between you all.

Everyone found the love of their life.

Jimin with you, a foreign student attending University in Busan for the Summer.

Jungkook with a fan.

Taehyung with his childhood best friend.

Hoseok with a dancing partner from a solo project.

Yoongi with his long distance girlfriend from before debut.

Namjoon with his make up artist.

Jin with an ex girl group member.

Everyone had children (and their Korean names of course).

Jimin and yourself had Benjamin, Rose, Evie, Samuel and Ellie.

Jungkook had Faith and now, Joshua thanks to some medical advances.

Taehyung had Daea and soon to be James (Jimin) and Julia.

Hoseok had Harry and Harlow.

Yoongi had Florence and Luca

Namjoon had Oliver and in the future he has Thomas (the final Bangtan Baby)

Jin had Madeline and Gabriel and recently Harriet.

You remembered the good times and the bad times, the easy times and the hard times, the funny times and the hard times, but you wouldn’t change a thing. Members walking in on you and Jimin, you walking in on members and their significant others. Watching members walking down the aisle, having the children, making huge life decisions.. And now we were onto this one. One to change everything.

“I’ll take it from here Y/N” Namjoon took over from your thoughts that quickly rushed through your mind, walking towards you and walking you towards the table where he started his speech. His speech to break everyone’s hearts.

Arriving at Jamsil Stadium, you could feel the tension in the air. You felt uneasy. Everyone did. To not make this anymore confusing in terms of emotions, the families sat in their own area. You zipped up the coats of all of the children, adding hand warmers into their coat pockets and their hands covered in BTS gloves.

“Daddy I love you” Gabriel screamed when Jin appeared on screen in the VCR. The whole crowd roared with laughter and “aws”. The children loved this so once their Dad’s appeared on the screen they kept proclaiming their love, much to the adoration of the crowd.

“It’s time” Jimin mouthed, noticing him from behind the curtain in the corner. You blew him a kiss. What else could you do? You didn’t know what to do.

From No More Dream to their most recent hit, Like to Home, Danger to Dionysus, Boy In Luv to Boy With Luv, War of Hormone to Make It Right, Run to Tear, I Need U to Dimple, Spring Day to Idol and everything in between. Tonight was a party. A celebration. But soon, the party had to come to an end.

And with that, the curtain closed. The curtain finally closed on BTS.

The sobs around the stadium were Earth shattering and heart stopping. The high pitched wails from fans around the world who had stuck by the members through thick and thin. They didn’t deserve this heart ache, but the members did it for them, even if they didn’t realise it yet.

-“I’m worried our presence holds ARMY back” Jungkook said one day. He was right. Some fans don’t make the effort to have a social life, hold a decent conversation in person or follow their dreams because in the moment, they believe all their live is set up to be is a fan of BTS. Wrong. They were so much more than that and if an extremely long hiatus is what it took for them to realise, then so be it. If they ever came back, the fans would return if they found time. Not because they had time to ‘waste’.-

You knew Jimin was nervous, he was worried to leave. But in essence, nobody was leaving. Nobody ever said they wouldn’t return. Nobody said they were no longer a band. They were just stopping promotions for a long while. “The next Take That of K-Pop" one English news outlet broadcasted and maybe that was true, maybe the would come back. Nobody could ever see the future.

The possibility for group projects were never off the table. They were all planning on working on solo stuff so why couldn’t a collab be in the works. “Just because we might not be promoting as BTS, doesn’t mean we’ll not always be BTS. BTS is in our blood” Seokjin explained during the final ment. “I’m still waiting for that collab Yoongi-hyung" Taehyung joked, trying to make Yoongi laugh since he started crying and couldn’t stop during Love Myself half way through the set.

Jimin had been awfully quiet. “G-g-guys" he mustered up the courage when his face came on the screen, all puffy and red. Everyone’s face matched his. Even the children’s. Most of them were old enough now to know what was going on so they were emotional or they just had Jack Frost nipping at their adorable chubby cheeks.

“I promise I’ll never leave you. We will never leave you” Namjoon ushered out, trying to fill in the gaps of Jimin’s long pause.

“Can I do something?” Jimin asked the crowd. The cry from the crowd was different. The last question he’ll ever ask for a long time and they knew that. He seemed desperate for whatever he wanted to happen. It was as if after all this time, the pent up emotions of ARMY dissolved. It didn’t matter what awards they won, how many Youtube titles they took, records they broke, TV shows attended.. None of that mattered. ARMY were no longer a force to be reckoned with. They felt broken. But do you know what kept them together? BTS’ happiness. Whatever they wished for, ARMY would grant.

“I want to walk around this stadium. I want to be able to hug every single one of you and whilst I know that’s not possible. I want to see you up close. I want you to see me. I want you to remember me. I know in time, we will dwindle out of your life but you will always be in my heart and my feelings towards you all can only get bigger. ARMY, if I and the other members walk around, do you promise not to leave your seats? Do you promise to say safe? I will only do this if you promise to protect yourselves and others around you. I want to do this ARMY. Let me see you so I can etch this moment in my heart and never let it go.”

And for one last time, Jimin’s wish was ARMY’s command.

It was silent. Nobody spoke, you only heard silent muffled sobs. That’s when you realised your life was changing infront of your eyes and you hadn’t realised. You had only known Jimin in BTS, what was your life together going to be like? You couldn’t wait for the possibilities and in all honestly, you smiled a faint smile knowing your husband was going to be able to wake up next to you from now on and make you his famous orange and pear juice that he made for you if he was ever off work. Knowing that the children can have their Daddy whenever they wanted, without calling to ask him to come home. It was time. Everyone knew it. But you knew this would break his heart, but as his wife, you were going to get him through it, just like the rest of the members. Your thoughts were broken as Jimin came over to your area and kissed you with a different type of kiss. It was passionate but longing, it was as if he was promising to take care of you for the rest of his life no matter what happens and that everything he has ever done was all for you but now it’s time to focus on you and the children. He was yearning at the thought of all the years and experiences spent together. It was an amazing kiss. A one that lasted a while, in front of the whole crowd, but you didn’t care. This crowd loved BTS for their music and their happiness. You detached your lips and placed out your palm as if to signal him that he should walk around. He already spoke with the children, you were his stop after the kids and now, ARMY was his last.

The ARMY bombs around you suddenly turned a multitude of purple tones. “This is for you” Taehyung cried in a muffle, speaking in both Korean and English.

And suddenly, Young Forever started to play on the screen. A lot like their notorious surprise at Wembley Stadium but this time, they planned this. They needed ARMY to remember them in some way. Apparently this was the way to do it, but they obviously didn’t realise by just being around and making music was the way ARMY would remember them but this, this was special.

Sobs got louder, wails got more high pitched and the inhaling of breath took over. Within moments, it was over. The stadium became dark and a cold twitch soared through your body. It seemed like everyone experienced it as there was an almightly shudder that occurred at the same time.

They bowed for one final time, not wanting to come up, Namjoon having to make the first move.

They walked back to the front stage, awaiting for their slow descent.

“You’ve got me..” Jungkook sang. “I’ve got you” the crowd replied.

“So show me..” Taehyung called. “I’ll show you” the crowd replied.

“It’s okay now count..” Namjoon chanted. “1,2,3!” the crowd replied. “Forget all of the sad memories, hold my hand and smile” Hoseok finished.

“You showed me I have reasons..” Jin trailed off. “I should love myself” the crowd replied.

“The morning will come again, because no darkness or season can last forever. Bogoshipda” Yoongi spoke in English, finishing off in Korean. “Bogoshipda” the crowd replied.

“Forever, we are young..” Jimin sang. Immediately stopping himself. He composed himself, taking a deep breath, looking at ARMY.

“And with that, we’ll love you forever. Forever we are young and forever, we are yours”.

And just like that they were gone.

The screen turned to black, a message slowly appearing moments later.

‘Special thanks to our forever love and support, our heart and soul, our forever ours, ARMY. Let’s hope for better days.’

And in the next 10 years, they all achieved greatness.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Dad, I swear it’s not what it looks like” Benjamin gasped, Jimin walking in. At this point, only Samuel (17 and currently dating Jin’s youngest daughter Harriet) and Ellie (now 15, but crushing on Jungkook’s son Joshua) still lived with you and Jimin. Benjamin was now 24 and the twins had just turned 22, both living apart for the first time with their boyfriends. Whilst Rose was dating someone in the fashion industry where she worked, Evie was engaged to Hoseok’s son Harry with whom she’d been dating from being 15.

Jimin couldn’t help but have his mind cast back to when his Father walked in on yourself and Jimin doing the deed. He laughed slightly at the memory but the seriousness came crashing down. “Daea, does Taehyung know you’re here?” he asked, looking straight at her. She was a grown adult of course, but due to what had went on in the past few years, Jimin didn’t think this was a good idea.

It’s not as if anything dirty was happening, Jimin walked in on them kissing rather passionately. Just like the time you walked in on them doing the same thing 4 years prior.

-”Mrs. Park-” Daea gasped over Benjamin’s shoulder. “Fuck” he let out. It was at this moment yourself and Jimin were worried things were going to get complicated. It did, a lot. But thankfully, it caused no damage to your friendship with Taehyung. Benjamin and Daea were so in love with one another, they reminded everyone of you and Jimin, however, they went around things the completely wrong way. They messed around with other people, trying to shake their love away, thinking it wasn’t reciprocated. They didn’t talk to each other about feelings and it messed things up time and time again. Daea was like your daughter too. She came to you about your son breaking her heart and Benjamin went to Taehyung, his Godfather, about Taehyung’s daughter breaking his heart. Years passed and they continued to be together in terms of one off dates and the “i love yous” then silence for a few weeks.. As a collective, yourself and Jimin, Taehyung and T/W/N told them they needed to sort out their priorities and maybe stay apart for a while. It was at this point Daea called Taehyung crying, leaving a voicemail she was in love with him whilst he was fooling around with his only ever girlfriend who was his ex since he was 19. A short lived romance, when Benjamin was desperate for Daea’s love but didn’t think he could have it. Obviously, she ended up walking in on Benjamin’s actions and all hell broke loose, with Daea also spending the night with her ex and Benjamin finding out the next morning due to Daea’s snapchat location. It wasn’t yours or Jimin’s fight, neither was it Taehyung’s or Y/W/N. They needed to sort it themselves but for sure, nobody was happy with their decisions.-

“We-we” Benjamin stuttered, putting his top back on. You heard some commotion as you were walking through the front door with furniture you bought from IKEA for the new flat he had moved into. Jimin looked at you, a hand on his hip and an eye roll was presented to you as you walked closer. You saw who was in the room and let out another sigh, hoping it wasn’t going to be the umpteenth time you cleaned up the heartbreak mess.

Time seemed to go really slowly even though you were only there around 10 seconds. “We-we’re dating. We have been for 6 months” Benjamin let out, seeing his shoulders come down as if to release the weight of the world that was evidently on it. “We didn’t tell anybody because the media still follows us and pays attention to our every move. When we spoke, properly, we realised that it was the media’s input on our lives that affected the decisions that we made. ‘Daea was spotted with mystery man’ popped up on my phone every now and again and I would lose it. I never had the guts to tell her I wanted to be that man. But I finally did and it’s been working out so far”.

The smile couldn’t escape yours and Jimin’s face, you literally ran over to them and scooped them both into a hug, squishing Benjamin’s face onto yours like you used to do when he was a child. “You can tell Taehyung though” you laughed, eyeing Benjamin. He nodded in agreement, as did Daea.

Whilst all the members were working on solo projects, Benjamin became keen and interested in the industry. He was now a well-known choreographer for rookie groups, helping them perfect and hone in on their first performances. A critic but someone who was loveable and everyone wanted him for their rookies. BigHit ended up hiring him recently to choreograph the first boy group since TXT’s numbers for the next 5 years, a contract he had been wanting since Jimin told him about it 2 years back. Daea also followed in the choreography path and was currently choreographing routines for Jin’s new entertainment company which was made up of, you guessed it, some of Bangtan’s children aswell as another boygroup of a younger age. None of your children chose to follow that path apart from Ellie, who was a trainee at BigHit as Jin’s entertainment company was solely focusing on their male trainees for a 5 piece boy band and also the trio group consisting of Harry (Hoseok’s son and Evie’s fiance), Oliver (Namjoon’s son) and Joshua (Jungkook’s son). They were aged 21-18 and focused solely on acoustic performances and were immediately adored by the public when they debuted a year ago.

Rose and Evie both worked in the fashion industry for a popular Korean brand, who’s main job was to style idols. But they also had other commitments. Rose took over from Jin’s performing arts studio where the twins both attended when they were young and Evie had multiple businesses including dainty jewellery and a wholesaler of fabric.

Jungkook’s daughter Faith, as well as Jin’s daughter Madeline both trained to become paramedics, not wanting to be in industry. Taehyung’s son worked as a movie director and Julia was a well known actress, at this point, being more famous than what her Dad was at 20. Julia was also engaged to Jin’s son Gabriel, who was a CEO of a law firm. Hoseok’s daughter Harlow became joint owner of his sister’s online clothing business, as well as making a subsiduary and venturing out into bags and shoes. Yoongi’s 2 children Florence and Luca were inspired by their Father a lot, they both became composers, Florence for JYP and Luca for Jin’s label. Harriet (Jin’s youngest) and Thomas (Namjoon’s youngest) were the youngest babies, other than Samuel, Harriet being a couple of months older. Harriet was determined to make it in music but wanted to go through the University route and was recently accepted on early admission to Seoul National University. Thomas didn’t want to be in the industry and was focused on getting the grades to attend university and study interior design.

Samuel? He wanted to be a videographer. He loved watching Taehyung and Jungkook continue to make their films, as well as James (Taehyung’s son) being a director. He was inspired. His back up plan was to become a policeman, a lot like his Dad wanted to do when he was younger. At 17, he had a lot of decisions to make, but it seemed as though life had already planned that for him.

Thankfully, all of the members were still with their partners and even more in love than ever. During the past 10 years, members had come together for special anniversary performances that were filmed in the offices and posted online, never a concert or anything. The rap line did do their own world tour, with the vocal line releasing 3 CDs and some individual mix tapes along the way. Jin and Taehyung dabbled in acting, Jungkook filmed some solo artists MVs, with Jimin becoming more confident in his song writing and writing songs for the most popular groups right now. This was only the tip of the iceberg, the all tried their hand in so many things. Yoongi and Jungkook even opened up a chain of restaurants to much success, specialising in lamb.. Lamb skewers of course.

You and Jimin, you were stronger than ever. Never missing your date weekend when Ellie would spend time in the BigHit dorms, now inside the BigHit office building, to bond with fellow trainees and Samuel would make himself scarce at Namjoon’s house where his best friend Thomas lived (Namjoon’s youngest and the youngest Bangtan baby).

Date weekends comprised of anything, a trip away, a karaoke bar, a meal, a stay in the house, a concert.. You name it. There was never a time when you both stopped reminding each other of how you were meant to be and in awe of everything about each other. You both regularly made the effort to reminise about your relationship and that was extremely beautiful. It was a tradition you both loved, a lot like Benjamin putting his first baby hat on top of the Christmas tree instead of a star. The baby hat that was passed down to your youngest.

“I just remembered we need to get the Christmas boxes out of storage” you piped up to Jimin, as if to hurry him along because you had a busy day today. “Do you want a wreath making again this year Benjamin?” you asked, walking from his bedroom door and turning his light off that was on during the middle of the day. He nodded happily. “Remember to talk to Taehyung” Jimin said, wagging his finger in a joking way as you grabbed his hand. You weren’t the cool kids anymore and he needed to stop acting like he was ‘down with the kids’.

You both couldn’t stop talking about the situation on the car ride home. You were both so glad that their relationship was finally settled and they were happy. A text from Benjamin popped up on your phone as you pulled into the parking spot. ‘Just told Uncle Tae. He seemed mad at first but when we explained, he understood our position and now he’s really happy for us’. “He knows” you smiled at Jimin and he smiled back at you. Finally, you didn’t have to worry about anything. Everyone was happy and that’s the main thing.

You both walked up to your apartment hand in hand, giggly as if it were 15 years ago (always keeping the spark alive) to notice the door already unlocked. You swore you locked it and Samuel and Ellie should still be out for another 2 hours. Jimin pushed the door open first, shielding you incase there was an intruder. You tutted at the sheer thought of it considering how much security you need to get past to get up here and especially since there was no sign of intrusion. Jimin waved his hand in as you saw a puzzle look come across his face.

“Samuel, are you here?” Jimin called out, noticing his jacket on the couch. It was totally unlike Samuel to come home early, if anything, he was always a few hours late from playing the latest video game. The house was quiet but your Motherly instincts could tell something was up. Within moments, the bathroom door creaked open and out walked Samuel with his hands up to his face. You instantly knew he was crying, his demeanour was different.

Jimin walked over to him straight away, bringing him in for a hug, and then brought him over to the sofa with a hang over his back. “What’s wrong my darling?” you asked him as he fell into your shoulder. You were so concerned, you and Jimin kept looking backwards and forwards between yourselves, also catching glimpses of each other in the mirror opposite.

“Please don’t hate me” he sobbed, making the shoulder of your white top see-through. “We would never hate you, just tell us what it is and we can solve this, together” you smiled, gripping Jimin’s hand behind Samuel’s back, no idea what was about to come out of his mouth.

“Harriet is pregnant. I’m going to be a Dad..” he trailed off.

The pain in your chest hit you like it was yesterday. Dejavu of yourself and Jimin becoming pregnant with Benjamin. The looks you got when pushing around the pram, having people disappointed in you, saying they hated your baby before he was even born.. It was tough, but you both got through it together. The only thing was that you were both in your early 20s, Samuel wasn’t even at the age of consent and neither was Harriet. You wanted to say “shit” so badly but all you and Jimin could do was look at each other and think about the heartache you went through, when it really should have been the most euphoric experience of your life. Not to say it wasn’t an amazing experience, but people have their way of ruining things for others, and people’s spiteful comments towards you, your relationship, Jimin and your baby were it for you. No way were you going to let your little boy live the feelings you both did.

You found out that Jin already knew after Harriet told him she might be pregnant before even taking a test. Harriet told Jin a week before telling Samuel, just to give Jin some time to calm down. He was furious, but there was nothing he could do, it was something that would have to be taken in everyone’s stride.

After the words were over, calming him down and going over Jin’s house for a talk, everything was settled and it was more about being prepared for the baby to come rather than anything else.

“We’re going to be Grandparents” you said, lying awake that night, it suddenly hit you. Jimin turned to you and kissed your forehead replying “I know” and tears filling his eyes, which you only picked up from because of the lamp in the corner of the room glistening his tears. “I’ll tell the girls tomorrow” Jimin stated, kissing you again on the forehead. Benjamin had already found out, Samuel asked for him to be there when everyone went to Jin’s house.

Jimin’s hands intertwined with yours, pulling you closer. “Our little family became a rather large one and now it’s expanding and other than you, I think that’s the most beautiful thing I could have ever dreamed of” he smiled, squeezing your hand a little more. He knew you were worried, your little boy becoming a Father. Now wasn’t the time for Jimin to try and get into your pants either, something that always ended up happening on date weekend, multiple times, however he turned you around, his chin nustled into your neck and wrapping his hand around your stomach, cooing you to sleep whilst moving his free hand above to your head, running his hands through your hair to help you fall asleep.

The next morning, Jimin had told the girls before you even woke up. He didn’t want to wake you, especially because you both didn’t get to sleep until late due to lying awake at the idea of being Grandparents. “Our family is our magic shop” you heard Evie say from the other room, waking yourself up to the sound of people's muffled voices. Evie always said that. Magic Shop was her favourite song and she loved the idea of escaping and being able to join people in their emotions in this ‘other world’. It was her favourite song as a child too. She often talked about visiting the magic shop in her dreams and her family was always there, even the ‘extended family’ meaning BTS and their families. Rose shared in the same experience. “Exactly dad, Magic Shop equals family. If any of us need to escape, we don’t need to run away and hide from it, we just need to console in our family, because they’re the ones who will truly help us” she smiled to you as you appeared in the doorway. You smiled a half smile, still evidently nervous. “He’ll be okay you know? He’s got us” you heard Ellie say, bringing you over a cup of coffee, obviously overhearing you rustle around in the bedroom as you were getting ready. You knew everything would be okay, you knew that. But it was still so hard. You and Jimin had it tough, everyone knew that. It was an unspoken mutual decision that everyone was going to do everything in their power to not let this repeat again.

“Dad, you’re releasing that song soon right?” Ellie asked as she handed Jimin the cup of tea too. You looked at him slightly confused. “A song?” you asked. He’d been telling you he was working on writing lyrics for another group, not himself. “Ellie!” Benjamin scoffed.

Jimin’s eyes rolled, his surprise obviously now in your mind.. Not a surprise as such, more a confusion. He could have probably let it play out and you would have forgotten because of your sleepy state but he went on to tell you the truth. “It’s our wedding anniversary tomorrow and I wrote you a song for it. It’s an updated version of Serendipity, which I wrote for you when we first married” Jimin cooed, playing with his fingers, as if he went back 20 odd years to the time he told you he first had wrote you a song.

You were lucky. You were so lucky. Your family. Your friends. Your life. Everything was great. Jimin came over to you, obviously noticing you were overwhelmed and took your hand. And as if by magic, you could see your future pan out before your eyes, and it was the most wonderful one you could ever imagine.

_______________________________________________________________________

“They aren’t going to know what has hit them” Namjoon’s wife called, gathering around the computer in Yoongi’s apartment. The past 5 years was the best 5 years of everyone’s lives. The babies were adults, doing their own thing and you all got to spend time with your significant other only for the first time in a very long time. Benjamin and Daea were now happily married with a baby on the way. The twins were married too. By God, the look on Jimin’s face when he had to give them away was a picture. He told Ellie she couldn’t get married until she was at least 40 but that didn’t exactly happen. It had been a year since Ellie moved out and into a shared flat with some of the younger Bangtan ‘babies’ but was engaged to a fellow trainee, much to Jimin’s delight as Jimin was actually his ‘ex-idol’ coach which is something BigHit were now doing. Samuel moved out 4 years ago in an apartment next door to you and Jimin for independence with the baby and Harriet, to whom he was getting married to in less than a few weeks. Recently though, Harriet and Samuel decided that Busan was there home rather than Seoul, so they took over from looking after your house in Busan, whilst you and Jimin decided to stay in Seoul for the foreseeable future due to the upcoming events.

“Y/N can you get a plaster? Charlotte’s fell over when I was chasing her” Jin asked, rushing in as if a slight graze was the worst thing he’s ever done in his life. Charlotte was your Grandchild. It was so surreal how Charlotte joined you and Jimin, Jin and his wife together. By this point, Evie had a baby boy too, with Rose following behind and currently standing at 6 months pregnant.

You scrambled to get a plaster, not wanting to miss anything that was about to unfold.

“K-POP Superstars BTS have announced their return 15 years after announcing they were working on solo projects aswell as taking a well deserved break with their families” the news blared in the background. “How do they even know this?” Jimin looked puzzled. It was before the official statement from the company but obviously something was leaked as per usual. Thankfully, it was only seconds later that the statement was published.

Dear ARMY,

You’ve waited a long time for us right? We’ve been by your side even if you didn’t think we were there. We’ve always been watching over you and it’s been a pleasure to see you all on a calmer basis when we are out and about with family. However, the reason we are coming to you today is because even though we love to see you all personally, we have missed you all terribly for the last 15 years. As much as our wives and children have been telling us to come back a lot sooner than we have, we all wanted to make sure it was the right time for everyone. Everyone needs the opportunity of having the luxury that is family time.

We are so happy to announce that we will have a comeback next month on the 5th of October. As well as this, we will be posting soon about a world tour to start in January next year.

A lot of you will be older than us right? The same ages, slightly younger? But it’s been a while. A lot of you will have family and other commitments and might not be able to support us like you did back then but that’s ok. You supported us once and that’s more than we ever deserved. But if you’re back to support us on our next venture, thank you. There’s some ARMY out there who have never stopped supporting us through our 15 years and we hope you will continue to do so. Even if you had to leave for commitments or whatever reason, you are welcome to come back or you can remain at a distance. Like we said, thank you for being a part of our lives.

Our families now have families and are enjoying their lives, now it’s our turn to get back to our passion. We have missed you guys.

All of our love,

See you soon. BTS.

Harriet was the new music producer for BTS after successfully completing university whilst pregnant and being a young parent. All of the other producers were classed as co-producers whilst working for other companies.

You didn’t expect the rush of comments to come through as thick and fast. You were sure it was going to be a small scale thing like “oh yeah you remember that kpop band? They're back”. Oh how wrong you were. It was as if they had never left. And do you know why? ARMY never left and neither did BTS.

Starting back where they left it at Jamsil Stadium, the world tour was about to begin. This time, the children were able to stay at home if they wanted, come along or join whenever they wanted/could. It was all down to them. You? Of course you were going. You loved this. You loved seeing Jimin being his true self again. A performer, something he loved. Yes he had his Asian tour one time but this, this was back in BTS, back where he felt safe and comfortable. However, this time, maybe not so much choreo, the 95s were now 45! If anything, it was a celebration and a party more than a concert.

Each member was in a different room with their families. Everyone attended their first concert. Jimin looked so happy, it was if he was having another child. But deep down, you knew he was nervous and the children could sense it too.

Dressed in a grey suit to greet the crowd first and foremost, he sat down on the couch and rolled his head back, controlling his breathing, thinking about how this is the start of his new forever. You had spoken to him so many times about this. For the past 18 months, this had been in the works and for those past months, you soothed his fears in bed every night. This time, you couldn’t soothe them. You felt emotional at him finally doing what he loved doing, second to being a Father. Just like that time you went back to work in research for Jin’s company, something you had loved studying for before your pregnancies.

At this point, BigHit were focused on their new groups and Bang PD, who was now retired, told them to go their own way, they deserved to be fully in control, so that’s when Jin decided to let his company run the show. It was very much an all inclusive family.

“Dad, we need to talk” Evie stated, walking over to Jimin and giving him a hug. “You’re not pregnant again are you? You can’t tell me this as I’m about to walk out on stage Ev’-” “Dad, no stop. I’m not pregnant and even if I was, this is your day. We’ll always be here you know Dad? You did everything for us. You gave up your passion so you could see your children grow up. I don’t think you know how much that means to us. You know who our friends are, you know who their parents are and how they focused on their careers instead of their children and look at their tarnished relationships. Not that I am saying ours would be like that if you did work more but what I am saying is your career meant nothing to you once you saw Benjamin, then me and Rose, then Samuel and Ellie. You both looked after us so well. We gave us everything we could dream of, and not the material things either. You really are the most amazing parents and people we all aspire to be. Dad, without you, I wouldn’t know how to be a good parent to Alexander and we’ve all had this discussion, there’s no way we would have been able to be this happy in our lives without you both. You comforted us during the happy and sad times, you were there to fight our battles and there to put us in our place when we were wrong. Ultimately you loved us no matter what. We hear love stories about the two of you all the time and that’s who we all aspire to be. I heard one time, Benjamin told Mum that he wanted to be just like Dad. Have you seen him with Rosie? She’s only 2 weeks old and I have never seen a man look at his daughter like he does. How do I know? Because that’s the way you looked at me. We’re always there for you Dad, whenever you need us. It’s your turn to put yourself first. Just like the time you were there for me on the other side of the door, when I wanted and needed you most, that’s where we will be. Waiting to comfort you, in our very own magic shop.” Evie confessed. And with that. There was not a dry eye in the house.

“Remember Dad, not all of this is a coincidence, everything has been predestined” Samuel sang, quoting Serendipity whilst rocking Benjamin’s baby Rosie.

Up on stage, they did everything they needed to do and then some. “I toold you we wouldn’t leave you” Jimin beamed and cried out to the Jamsil Stadium packed of ARMYs. It was amazing to see the age difference. Older ARMYs and younger ones, most of which were probably children of the adult ARMYs but still seemed to know every word. It was their first night of a sold out tour, 3 of the nights being in Seoul, next stop being North America, followed by South America, Europe, Oceania and back to Asia.

You saw all 7 of them up on stage and sobbed, everyone did. They truly were back and back for good.

You went on their tour with them and once you reached Europe, Jimin had a special treat for you. Something you had always wanted to do.

Once again, BTS sold out Wembley Stadium but they had a 2 week stop in England. Jimin told you to pack your bags because we were going somewhere special. A private plane and no announcements as to where you were going later, you arrived. You first told him about this place when you were dating and never mentioned it since. He remembered.

“Are we in- N-?” you stammered, recognising the language from the writing on the airport building. Jimin smiled. “This is to say thank you” he stated, planting a lingering kiss on your lips.

Pulling up to the glass house in the snowy mountains, it took your breath away, literally and metaphorically. “Welcome to Norway” Jimin announced, “hopefully we get a glimpse of the Northern Lights tonight” he smiled. The Northern Lights was the only thing you ever wanted to visit on this Earth but unfortunately, when you had been to other countries to see it, the phenomenon never occurred. Jimin always knew you wanted to go to Norway, especially since he told you everything about his trip for Bon Voyage when he was on his first date with you. There was plans to visit once but you became pregnant with Samuel and then time seemed to go by too fast.

Everything you ever envisioned for this trip, he made true. The house had a glass roof and glass walls, the only thing not glass was the floor and appliances. The wooden décor inside decorated with woody earth tones, opposite yet still complimenting the snowy landscape outside. Wrapped in many layers and between a blanket, you went outside and toasted marshmallows every night and giggled like kids trying to take the gooeyness from each other’s faces as the marshmallows splattered everywhere.

Jimin recently took up learning guitar and it was beautiful to see him play and lul too, watching the snow come down, fire crackling, him wrapped in a mint green blanket. It was as if you were falling in love with him all over again. You loved but never in love with BTS’ Jimin. You were in love with your Jimin, your Park Jimin. The one who sang you to sleep every night. The one who would make you a loaded grilled cheese every Thursday night because he knew you started your diet on a Friday. The one who could get stroppy at the slightest little thing but knew you could fix with your optimistic outlook. The one who took a mental note of things you looked at with admiring eyes and bought you it for a surprise. The one who broke his arm when you were pregnant with Ellie but still did all the chores around the house. The one who complains there’s too much firewood on the fire and he’s too hot yet still wont leave from under the blanket you both shared because as long as he’s next to you, anything can be thrown at him. The one who sent you flowers when he was abroad and knew which ones to send you during different seasons because of your hayfever. The one who ran into a river once because you dropped your phone and it started flowing down stream. The one who knew everything about you and still loved you for it. The one who fell to the floor every time you announced you were pregnant, thanking his lucky stars for the miracles. The one who told you he loved you and you were beautiful, even if you looked in the mirror and thought you didn’t look good that day. The one who gave up his passion for his family. The one that was willing to risk it all for a foreign girl he had only known for 6 months and pregnant with his first child.

As all these memories were running through your mind, you looked up and saw what you knew was the start of the Northern lights. Without saying a word, you grabbed Jimin’s hand, pointed up and without saying a word, you bundled up your clothes all giddy and ran outside. There was an out house built for romantic moments like this, being able to snuggle together and look out into the horizon. You ran straight inside and did exactly that.

Jimin couldn’t stop staring. Not at the Northern lights, but at you. “Your happiness and mine has been planned” he stated, whispering into your head as your forehead lay on his chest looking out the marvelous multi-coloured display in front of you. The emotions inside of you were tremendous, especially when he started to sing Serendipity in your ear.

This is all you could ever have hoped for. Your children are healthy and were raised well, all having their own families. You were in a position that you loved. Your grandchildren were your world. Your friends and family were amazing and here was Jimin, the love of your life since your early 20s, still by your side giggling and joking. “It’s been an amazing ride so far Y/N” he smiled, knowing you were emotional and finding his hand to your face, wiping away a tear. He knew you so well that he knew you tucked your thumb into your finger when you were about to cry. “And we still have eternity to go” you smiled back, lifting yourself up and kissing him passionately. “Y/N, you have an eternity with me like you said, focus on the outside” he giggled, breaking away from the kiss. You didn’t move. “Why look outside when the person in front of me gave me everything I ever wanted?” you questioned, both of your eyes welling up. This was it. It was you and him now, forever.

“I love you Y/N” “I love you, Park Jimin” “Forever” “And always”...

#jimin #jimin x reader #bts #jimin fan fic #jimin fanfiction #jimin fluff #jimin one shot #jimin series #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts fan fic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts one shot #bts series #jimin fanfic #park jimin

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reverseblackholeofwords · 5 years

Note

DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH A HAIR TRISTAN'S HEAD I SWEAR

“Tristan?” Arthur asks, keeping the door open only a few inches. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t you remember? We were going to have lunch, and you were going to let me read the new chapter!” Tristan holds out a lunch box that he brought along. “I made us sandwiches and pasta salad.” He looks down. “Well, it was supposed to be pasta salad, but I think I did it wrong. I’m not sure how I messed it up so bad, but it’s probably fine.”

He looks up at Arthur again, grinning. But when he sees how panicked Arthur looks, his smile falls. “Did I get the day wrong? Should I go?”

Arthur nods. “Yeah, Tristan, you should probably go, okay? I’ve got… company right now, and I can’t…”

Dark forces the door open from behind Arthur. He smiles down at Tristan and the lunch box. “Ah, you brought lunch! How sweet.” He looks to Arthur. “Why didn’t you tell me you were expecting someone?”

Tristan’s eyes widen. “You have another twin brother?”

Arthur winces. “Tristan, please, go.”

“No, no! It’s no trouble.” Dark holds up one of his hands while the other rests on Arthur’s back, as cold as ice. “I’ll duck into the back room while you two work, and you can let me see it when you’re done.”

A shadow slips into Arthur’s mind where Dark can keep a close eye on him, and then he leaves Arthur and Tristan to go sit in Arthur’s bedroom. Tristan glances past Arthur nervously. “Your other twin gives me the creeps.”

“Me too.” Arthur opens his mouth to tell Tristan to run, but he hears a voice in the back of his mind.

“If you don’t do this for me, I’ll find him and take care of him myself. You know about my methods, don’t you?”

Arthur doesn’t want to know Dark’s methods, so he draws Tristan inside. He barely listens as Tristan recounts the harrowing tale of trying to make pasta salad. He has to think of something fast or Dark is going to hurt Tristan.

“Hey, kid, if you could be in a story, any story, what would it be?” Arthur uncaps his pen. “If you could talk to anyone, go anywhere, be anything.”

Tristan munches on his turkey sandwich and thinks long and hard. “I think I’d go back to when my dad was nice. There was a day where he taught me how to fish in this creek bed behind our house, and we had a great time even though the fish were all really small and we had to throw them all back.” Tristan’s eyes get teary as he describes it. Of course this is what he’d want, Arthur thinks. Tristan could ask to be on the moon or fighting a dragon, but he’d rather just relive a happy memory.

“I’d tell him to go get help or something. He needed it even then, but I didn’t know it. Now…” Tristan shifts uncomfortably. “Now he never talks to me anymore except when he’s yelling.”

Arthur pulls out a pad of paper. “Close your eyes and describe the creek bed to me.”

As Tristan describes the creek, Arthur brings it to life around him. He’s never actually tried putting a person into his stories before, but he finds that it comes almost naturally. He knows Tristan so well at this point that he can wrap him up in the words and fool him into thinking it’s all real. And maybe it’s okay to believe a lie, for just a little while.

“Arthur, I don’t get it. What are we doing?” Tristan opens his eyes, and instead of seeing Arthur or the cabin, he sees the green trees, the little murmuring creek, and his father, smiling and tanned by the sun without the look of sickness he’s worn for so long now. “Dad?”

Tristan’s father opens his arms, and his son runs into them. In the back of Arthur’s mind, Dark makes a noise of contempt. “What did you want me to do?” Arthur asks, rage burning as he continues writing to keep Tristan’s happy memory alive. “Did you think I’d try to hurt him? Is that what you wanted?”

Tristan and his dad are talking about all the things that have happened in Tristan’s life in recent years, and Arthur tries to give Tristan the father that he no longer has, one that’s interested in all he has to say and who will teach him how to fish and enjoy nature and how to grow up to be a good man. “Well, I’m not like you. I don’t want to hurt people. I want to help them.”

Slowly he works Tristan through the rest of the memory, allowing him to enjoy it again for as long as he can before he has to draw it to a close. When Tristan opens his eyes in the cabin again, they’re full of tears. He looks at Arthur and smiles. “That was–that was amazing.” He wipes his face, but more tears keep coming. “I m-miss him so much.”

Arthur gets up and puts his arms around Tristan. “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you.”

“N-no, it’s okay.” Tristan hugs Arthur back. “I loved it. I don’t know how you did it, but I loved it. Thank you so much.” He gets up when he sees the time. “Woah, was I really there for two hours? I’ve got to go!” He throws his leftovers back into his lunch box, closes it, and gives Arthur one more hug. “I’ll be back next Saturday, okay?”

Arthur holds on tight for just a little while longer than he should, because he doesn’t know if he’ll still be here come next Saturday. He’s risked a lot to prove Dark wrong, after all. “I can’t wait, Tristan.”

Then Arthur shows him to the door and watches him get on his bike and ride towards home. When he closes the door, Dark is standing beside him. “I think you and I need to have a little heart to heart chat, Author.”

Arthur grips his pen tight in his hand. “That’s what I thought you’d say.”

#the author #darkiplier #tristan mchale #ask the egos #danger in fiction

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cashmeremars · 5 years

Text

We Find Love

summary: A relationship once filled with love is now nothing more than an empty void of heartbreak. Maybe love really is just an illusion. Based off of We Find Love by Daniel Caesar (because this song makes me sad)

pairing: shawn mendes x reader

warnings: angst, basically just shawn being a jerk, also this switches perspectives a couple times so bear with me, also i didn’t have time to thoroughly edit this

word count: 3k+

***

Heartbreak. A word that plagued every waking moment, laced in every breath I took, and flashed in bold whenever my eyelids slipped closed. I felt it so deep inside my soul, only it hadn’t taken form yet. I knew it was coming. It was waiting for me in the corner of every room, it filled the silence in every conversation. It was taunting me; telling me that all of this love, all of this happiness, will be over soon. It was inevitable. I knew it, I think he did too. Our conversations were short, almost out of place. We stopped holding hands, stopped embracing each other in hugs, stopped talking for days at a time. Amazing how quickly love can diminish, only to be replaced with heartbreak. It was unavoidable, and it was about time he realized it too.

I waited silently in the empty space of my kitchen. He was late again. He suggested a homemade dinner date, his unspoken way of trying to rekindle our love. A nice, romantic gesture that surely would have brought back the love that was no longer there. But here I sit, in a muted kitchen that was supposed to be filled with some type of happiness, a cake in the oven and dinner on the table. The heat from the cake in the oven was the only thing warming the frigid space in my heart. My eyes fell on a vacant wall as I let my mind wander. This is it, isn’t it? I can’t let it get any worse than this. Our kisses are meaningless, our love is undetectable, there’s nothing more for me to cherish. If there was nothing left, why were we trying so hard? Why were we trying to resurrect something that was already buried so far into the depths of the earth? He already gave up on me, why couldn’t I let myself do the same? What was I holding onto? The soft buzz of my phone on the marble countertop had tore me out of my harrowing thoughts. His name flashed on the screen and I could feel myself slipping into discontent. I picked up the phone and sighed as I answered.

“Hey!” I spoke as I tried to mask my disappointment with a cheerful facade. The call had just started but I would give anything for it to end. “What’s taking you so long to get here? I just put the cake in the oven and I’m really proud of how good it looks” I winced at my attempt at lighthearted conversation.

“Oh, uh, yeah. That’s great, but I called because there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you” His voice was restricted. I felt as though the spirit of heartbreak had just shifted in the corner of my room, getting ready to pounce on my expecting soul.

“Really?” I faked curiosity. “Well, what is it? You can tell me anything, you know.” I knew exactly what it was.

“God, even in the worst situations you still try to make everything positive” He sighed through the phone. It hit me all at once. I thought I was prepared, I had anticipated it, but now it was tearing at my heart and he hadn’t even said the words yet.

“You can tell me, please.” I spoke as I felt my voice crack. Always hiding in the shadows of my room, but now I was being forced to acknowledge it. I was being thrown into a pool full of sorrow, but this is what love is, right?

“This is gonna be so hard” Shawn spoke in a hushed tone

“Shawn, please.” I whispered

“I think we should-” He paused as he took deep breath. The line was silent for a few seconds before he sighed and spoke again “Maybe we should cancel tonight's dinner?” Shawn spoke. His voice was more light-hearted than it was before, but it was more strained. It was obvious that he was going to say something else, but decided not to last minute.

“It took you that long to cancel dinner?” I was skeptical, why wouldn’t I be? He hesitated. He didn’t call to cancel dinner, he was going to say something else, and I knew exactly what it was.

“Uh, yeah. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.” Shawn muttered. A lie. Something common in our relationship these days.

“Goodnight, Shawn.” I breathed before hanging up the phone.

***

Shawn sighed as the call ended. He shut his eyes as he let his mind wander. How had they gotten to this point? Just a few months ago they were so in love, but now he never wanted to be seen in a room with her. His feelings for her changed as soon as he left for tour. He almost felt as though a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders whenever he wasn’t around her. He hated the thought of it. It made him guilty that he felt happier without the girl he loved. He questioned if he had even loved her as much as he wanted to believe. Soon after, he began to embrace the thought that he was happy without her. The heart wants what it wants. And his heart didn’t want her. But the thought of leaving her ate at his soul. He still felt like she held a special place in his heart, but he knew he didn’t love her. He felt like being with her was a chore rather than a choice and he couldn’t keep leading her on. Whenever he thought of her, he felt as though he was floating, but now he wanted to fall back down to the ground. He didn’t love her anymore. It was amazing how much his feelings for her changed in such a short amount of time.

The first time Shawn looked into the eyes of the girl, he felt as though his heart had melted. Her gaze was one filled with honey and dripped in love. He felt as though each of his heartstrings were being plucked one by one the longer he watched her. She finally turned and smiled at him, and her smiled engulfed him in a pool of emotions he didn’t recognize. He was in love. Ever since the day he met her, she knew she was the girl of his dreams. They just weren’t meant to be.

***

This isn’t right. None of this is right. We were both forcing ourselves to pretend that everything was alright, that we were happy, that we were in love. But who were we pretending for? Surely not for anyone but ourselves. Maybe we craved the feeling of knowing that there was always someone out there that would support you, care for you, and love you; but we didn’t love each other. We were searching for something that couldn’t be found in one another. But we were still pretending. For no one but ourselves. He didn’t need me. My presence was nothing but a burden to him, but we provided each other with a false sense of security. We both deserve somebody that we would adore, somebody that would make us feel like we belong, and we haven’t found that in one another. We weren’t made for each other. Somewhere out there, there was somebody else that would make our hearts blossom. I was now staring heartbreak right in the eyes. It was inevitable, and we’d both realized it.

The room was silent as they both stood at opposite ends, not a single body stirred. The boy stared right at her while she focused her eyes on the cold floor. The atmosphere was almost one of hostility, as if she had become an intruder the second her timid feet crossed the threshold into his home. She finally peered into his eyes and noticed that they were barren. Whenever she used to look into his eyes, they were also filled with warm colours of adoration, but now as she stood in front of him, his eyes held nothing.

“Are you okay?” Shawn asked, finally breaking the silence. It was obvious that he was asking just to ask, nothing in his tone of voice revealed any sort of worry.

“Shawn, I think we should talk” I spoke hesitantly. As soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, my face flushed as I was hit with a brief wave of adrenaline.

“About?” Shawn asked bluntly.

The spirit of heartbreak had manifested right in front of me, taunting me once again, reminding me that this is the end. This is the final scene in a romance-turned-tragedy.

“You and I have been really distant lately, and I just wanted to confide in you about that.” I spoke

“I’ve just been busy” Shawn answered shortly as he pulled out his phone and mindlessly started scrolling through it. Busy. An excuse that I’ve heard one too many times in the past. Except he wasn’t as busy as he wanted me to believe. When he wasn’t touring or writing songs, he was spending his time with his friends, or exploring, or more importantly, ignoring me. It had gotten to the point where others around us wondered if we were even together anymore.

“I’ve been busy too, but I just think that we should at least try to make time for each other, right?” I suggested

“I think we spend enough time together.” Shawn answered as he continued to scroll through his phone. There was no doubt that we didn’t spend enough time together, it was almost like I stopped existing in his world. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk to me, but it was vital.

“Shawn, we haven’t gone on a date in 3 months. We haven’t even seen each other in 2 months and you got off tour 4 months ago. You’re avoiding me. I’m supposed to be your girlfriend aren’t I?”

“You are my girlfriend.”

“Well I’d say you have an odd way of showing it, huh?”

“What exactly are you asking me to do? I’ve done enough but you’re never satisfied. All you ever do is ask more from me”

“The only thing I’m asking you to do is to treat me like you should have been treating me this whole time. I’m asking you to treat me like your girlfriend and not some stranger. I want to be able to feel comfortable around you again. I want to feel confident in the fact that you love me.” I paused as I let out a shaky breath. “I need to know that you love me, Shawn.”

Silence was the only thing I was met with. I had just took one step closer to heartbreak.

“Shawn, I just need to be able to hold you again. I just want to feel like everything is alright, okay? I want us to be alright.” I spoke as tears began to spill from my eyes. His eyes met mine and I was met with nothing, no sympathy, no empathy, no signs of love; no signs of the Shawn I used to know. It was over.

“I’ve been thinking about something for a while” Shawn spoke as he pushed his phone into his hoodie pockets. He was looking at me now. For the first time in months, he was paying attention to me, just not the way I wanted.

I thought I was prepared, I had anticipated it, but now it was tearing at my heart and he hadn’t even said the words yet. The room had been silent for a few minutes, or maybe only a couple of seconds. It felt like an eternity as I waited for the dreaded words to slip out of his mouth, finally vanishing my existence from his life.

“You can tell me, please.” I spoke as I felt my voice crack. Heartbreak had always been hiding in the shadows of my room, but now I was being forced to acknowledge it. I was being thrown into a pool full of sorrow, but this is what love is, right?

“We should end things.” He spoke in a hushed tone. “But before you say anything, just know that this isn’t your fault.” But it was my fault wasn’t it? Maybe I shouldn’t have distanced myself. Maybe I should’ve just pretended nothing was wrong, maybe then we’d still be together, and things would be perfect again. But were things really ever perfect? “I’ve been doubting our relationship lately, I don’t know if you’ve noticed it too, but I think our spark is dying out. I don’t feel anything special between us anymore.” He continued. Of course I had noticed it too, but I never bothered to truly acknowledge it. I was too naive, I believed that one day I’d wake up and everything would be fixed.

“I know things have been different, but you said we could work it out.” I breathed out as I tried to fake stability. But I gave myself away as my voice shook. Why was I trying? We were done. He had said it himself. There’s nothing to hold onto.

“We can’t. I think I’ve found someone else. I really like her, and I want to be with her, but she won’t date me until I break up with you. This relationship died a long time ago. There’s nothing we can do about it, and us pretending that we can still work this out is stopping me from being with the girl I really love. I won’t let you stop me from actually being happy anymore.” He spoke bluntly. My heart sank right to my stomach as his words sunk in. It was almost like his words had soaked through my skin and into my bloodstream, poisoning me with undeniable misery. He had blamed me for not allowing him to be happy. Had I really been the source of his misery? All I tried to do was show him the love that I felt he needed. The love I felt I needed. But I was the one that was stopping him from being with the girl that he actually loved. I was nothing but a burden and I had come over to his house hoping to fix something unfixable like an idiot. There was nothing left for me to do. Shawn had moved on while I was cluelessly waiting around for him to come back to me. The monster that was heartbreak had just made me its victim, and it was ruthless. Unrelenting.

“Are you alright?” His whispered as he cupped my cheek. Am I alright? “You know that I loved you, right? And I still love you. I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything, I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt you like this?” He spoke as he brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. This was a joke to him. A game. He doesn’t love me, he hasn’t loved me in a long time, but here he was claiming to love me. He had blatantly been hurting me this whole time, but now he was saying he was trying not to?

I pushed his hand away from my face and looked him right in the eye for the last time, “Goodbye, Shawn.” I spoke the words harshly as I began to walk away.

“Why are you making it seem like you’re the victim here? You know I suffered a lot too. I was the one that had to pretend I still liked you even after we fell out.” He claimed in a defensive tone. In those few words I felt my heart shatter. Our once so beautiful love came crashing down. What once was lost can’t ever be found. Love was nothing but delusion.

***

Shawn watched the girl walk out of his home and out of his life. The living room was filled with nothing but silence as he stood staring at the door. He didn’t feel anything. He got what he wanted. She had left; He just wondered why it took her so long.

***

I sat in the cold atmosphere of my car as the buzzing of the engine was the only sound filling my ears. I wiped a tear from my eye, not realizing that I had even started crying. It was silent for a few moments. I took one final breath before I became unhinged. All the sorrow and heartache pouring out of me as my face flooded with tears. I’m not sure how long I sat in my car before pulling out of his driveway, leaving everything I had left on that driveway. I was finally gone, just like he wanted me to be. What hurt most was the fact that Shawn would finally move on the way that he wanted to. He’d go on and date the girl he was in love with this whole time. He’d write a couple songs about our relationship and how much it broke his heart while depicting me as the heartbreaker, then his fans would sympathize with him while painting him as the victim. Not one person would know that Shawn was the one that broke my heart. The farther I drove, the more I felt the presence of the diabolical monster seated in the back of my car. I was being smothered by heartbreak; My pain was being mocked. The farther I drove, the more anguish and misery I felt. The point was made. Love was fleeting. Love was torment.

Heartbreak had finally taken its full form. Heartbreak had revealed itself in its malevolent form and it was eating at my vulnerable heart. But this is love, right? This is what love does. It makes you vulnerable as you drown in the sweet words of your beloved. Slowly you start to believe that you’re happy as you’re embraced in the arms of your love, then you’re being ripped away and thrown into a grim void, as your nerves ignite in violent flames of despair. This is love.

#shawn mendes #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes preferences #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes drabble #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #angst #shawn mendes angst

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fortheheavenssake · 4 years

Text

PG MM Anon Interpretation Collection - 17

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

108: Nov 5

MM ANON …… A prospective congressional candidate ……caLiforniA voting …… bankrolled by Bubba…… 🎼” ain’t nobody Straight in LA”🎼…… Nov.14th , liftoff !! …… “ don’t come back, general consensus ma’am”. //… “ William’ you’ll love the break darling “…… “ 🦄can I come daddy, pleeeeeez!!”…… “bring me back a 🦎”…… “ Well, rather you than me squidgy” …… “ I’m reading these balcony jokes old thing” ……” 🤣🤣 Philip, look at this one ‘ wicked!!”… “make it there problem, it’s her decision “ … “Ad Nauseam.

🔥🔥🔥🔥HAPPY GUY FAWKES DAY AND BONFIRE NIGHT HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR FUR BABIES🔥🔥🔥🔥

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

November 5/2019 Riddle #108 1050 hrs CST

A prospective congressional candidate

Rumours abound of madam seeking elected office in America once she leaves the U.K. Isn’t this marvellous, we are at the point of realistically talking about her being gone!!🤣🤣🤣😂😂😁😁😁😁🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😁😁😊😊😊😊!

She certainly has the nonsense speak to be a politician. However, in this digital age, this madam has more secrets hidden that anyone else that l 🔒 🔐 can think of. In America there is no relationship between the media and elected officials to embargo news or comply with the request of the Palace to not run certain stories. At least l don’t think there are. Every little inconsequential and massively consequential behaviour, hobbies, financial “borrowing “ from foundations allegedly, charging for appearances, not reporting income to the IRS, the Internal Revenue Service THAT oversees the tax system in America. Good luck Rachel! Oh yes, ah, there is that pesky little matter of manipulation to marriage allegedly, ⚖️ Treasonous crimes, allegedly, violating the “of the body”law allegedly and a long long list of other possible illegalities, ALLEGEDLY!!

caLiforniA voting

LA, Los Angeles, California is where madam allegedly hails from. Might this be where she has voted, or has she ever even voted? I wonder if she ever has because that would entail her having to think about something and someone other than herself. If she does run for Congress, seems that would be where. The left leaning celebrity driven politics in that state are in her wheelhouse. We have had celebrities, public allegedly lie for and about her. EDG talked about visiting the Sussexes at FC, feeding baby Archie and how much red hair he has, SERIOUSLY PINOCCHIO??SERIOUSLY?? You going to stick with that story??🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥🧐🤥🤥🤥🤥🤥, GC, OW , HRC all chimed in.

bankrolled by Bubba

On twitter, archificial is bubs or bubba but a doll cannot bankroll anything. Bubba is Bill Clinton’s nickname. Are we to surmise, MM ANON, that she will be a paid candidate on behalf of the Clintons. This is unbelievable! But London Scoop warned two years ago, down is up, up is down, wet is dry, dry is wet. Her backers are very very obvious now in who they are! Get rid of any conservative Christian values, let the top 1% keep their trillions and manage the worlds money. The Commonwealth is quite a spanner in the mix isn’t it? This is scary stuff kids!!

🎼” ain’t nobody Straight in LA”🎼

Song by The Miracles, content of the lyrics is all about the prevalence of homosexuality in Los Angeles. Who is this referring? Doria?? I know she has a partner, but l don’t know if male or female. Is this pornography? Has madam done videos of this nature? Might this be the excuse she uses to leave the marriage, that she finally has “woke” to who she really is as a woman and is gay? I hope none of this comes across as homophobic, that’s is not my intention💜. Madam just poisons anything and everything!

Nov.14th , liftoff !!

Liftoff usually means a 🚁 helicopter or a spaceship 🚀 taking off! I am spinning that around! BIG TIME! Is November 14th the day the palace will liftoff the hold on the media 📰 and tell them go ahead DM print that million dollar dossier you have been sitting on for two years. Let the media explode the headlines with each and every bit of alleged filth, evidence, alleged misdeeds, financial and others!

“ don’t come back, general consensus ma’am”. //

LG telling HMTQ, if/when madam goes to L.A. or wherever for her six week break/ American Thanksgiving, the consensus, the agreement or majority opinion is she SHOULD NEVER COME BACK!!! All in favour, raise your hand!!!! Oh l see some people raising both hands, up that’s ok😁😁😁😁😁😁

“ William’ you’ll love the break darling ““ 🦄can I come daddy, pleeeeeez!!””bring me back a 🦎”

I have not read this or heard but l am going to suggest something. Prince Harry will have six weeks leave after RS, madam will be going to America, or so it seems just now, l don’t know where archificial will be. I wonder if the brothers are going somewhere to be together, spend time, talk over the horrors of the past two years. Maybe to Balmoral, hunting, fishing, drinking 🍺, just 😎 chilling out!! Prince William is going to Kuwait and Oman December 1 - 4/2019, the first week in December. I can hardly see this as a break but it will be away from the stress and truly with as it seems madam has been all but dealt with and contained, it would be a break! Sounds like our shy, 😁quiet😁 Princess Charlotte🤣🤣😂😂🤣, wants to go along! Prince George continues his love of all things reptilian 🦎 and wants a reptile brought back as a souvenir.

“ Well, rather you than me squidgy”

Way back when, there were the squidgy tapes. Anybody remember those? Anybody remember cassette tapes even??🤣🤣😂😂. Secret recordings privacy of Princess Diana and her lover who referred to her by that name. Squidgy can also mean soft, wet, something that when you squeeze it, it can change shape, like play-doh. According to the urban dictionary has a meaning that l refuse to type or share! I think this is Prince Charles and Camilla discussing her appearance on the 7th of November with Prince Harry YES HE IS ROYAL NOT NOT NOT A COMMONER🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 and madam. The Duchess of Cornwall is the Patron of The Poppy Factory . They will visit The Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey. It will be very very interesting if madam shows and what she wears and how she behaves, or make that, misbehaves. We know she has no respect for The Fallen or anyone else except SELF!! Charles is joking with her saying better you than me having to spend time with madam!! I LOVE visualizing these conversations!

“ I’m reading these balcony jokes old thing” 🤣🤣 Philip, look at this one ‘ wicked!!”

My favourite it is, but you are all tired of it by now but, 🔥 firelight, relaxing clothes, 📺 on, cocktails 🍸, relaxing time talking. PP is very much enjoy the lampooning nature of the political comics with various drawings of madam and how she will look 👀 in a cartoon version on the balcony🤣🤣🤣😂😂. Don’t you just love political cartoons? At one time, a cartoonist was murdered when he did a cartoon of a head of a certain religion, so there is a limit on what’s prudent. He points out one, l think l saw one similar, of madam portrayed as a witch! Wicked is a stage play about the witch characters from the classic film, with the gorgeous Judy Garland, The Wizard of Oz!

“make it there problem, it’s her decision “

Regarding having a VISA to return to England, l know you have to return to your home country every certain number of months, l have no idea what or where her VISA status is at. So if she goes to America, will she be allowed to return? Sounding like they are letting the staff at the airport deal with her. It’s also her decision if she wants to return to the U.K.

“Ad Nauseam.

Ad nauseam from the Latin, means one is repeated something verbally or by action, like pounding a door, so often that it has become endlessly annoying or tiresome.

Madam making endless demands over and over and over. Pleads over and over and over. Don’t make me attend anything public, l can’t do it please, please, please. Ad Nauseam. I think the phrase Ad Nauseam perfectly describes the general feeling towards madam just now, although l would argue there are stronger adjectives some would use.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

November 5/2019 1210 hrs CST

What fun…..thank you dear PG…so appreciated…..😁💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Skippy submission

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109: Nov 6

MM ANON ………” the pest is fleeing the rented nest” SO-HO HO HO !!!………”🎼” don’t give me that do goody good bullshit”🎼…… I’ll catch him , you talk him round” …… “ don’t be naive, it’ll be longer than 6weeks.”……… “I’ve got a cunning plan”………… Mmmm’ money but NOT title!!…… “ the Privy Purse won’t finance that”. …… “ I’ll have a chat with the LCJ, ol’ Netty will fix it.”…… “ done and dusted darling”. …… 🎼” we’ve already said “ so long”🎼………🎼” With a Little help from my friends”🎼. Amen!!

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU SO MUCH MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

November 6/2019 1115 hrs CST Riddle #109

” the pest is fleeing the rented nest” SO-HO HO HO !!!

Well, madam is done, leaving. She has been kipping at SoHo, probably worn out her welcome!😁🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 Never to return!! The Ho stayed at SoHo🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣! This is bloody fan-diddly-tastic!!!😁

”🎼” don’t give me that do goody good bullshit”🎼

MM ANON taking us back to Money Pink Floyd! Yep all about money, living the highlife, not having done anything of consequence for it, except wrong things, violence even. Madam is DEFINITELY not a goody good! I am so excited, l am trying to type so fast! Forgive any of my usual typing errors!

I’ll catch him , you talk him round” “ don’t be naive, it’ll be longer than 6weeks.”“I’ve got a cunning plan”

Like William and Catherine, maybe more intimate family discussing rehab for Harry after this horrific tour of duty of unprecedented nature and length of time. Sounds like they will have him come for that tagliatelle recipe of Catherine’s. I wonder if l could be invited? Anyhow, the length if time in rehab varies, depending on any medical issues and what substances need to be weaned off of. It’s harrowing. After medically stable, 90 days is a usual. They have a plan, all done out of love. Harry has PTSD from losing his mum, his military service and worst of all, this assault on him and his body, mind and soul. He is going to need a lot of love and l know he has that in spades. Harry, l never doubted you, NOT ONE SECOND!! You have been daily in my prayers 🙏🏻, it will continue as you rehab, recover, get your bearings back and start a whole new wonderful life!

Mmmm’ money but NOT title!!

So dealio here is, she will get some sort of financial settlement in the divorce but NO MORE HRH , NO MORE DUCHESS! She can return to her title of evil succubus! Anything to be rid of her and no title!I LOVE THIS! Guys, this is REALLY HAPPENING!! After RD she is gone, and the shit will hit the fan when the media starts printing all their dossiers that they have sat on for TWO YEARS!! Next week is going to be AWESOME!!! God bless you LG and your entire team!!

“ the Privy Purse won’t finance that”

Prince Charles is in charge of doling out money to various royal family members. It’s called the Privy Purse. So they won’t finance any settlement?? Her private jet? I think to be rid of her likely yes. Maybe it’s her divorce lawyers fees? Or some stupid demand she’s making, never ending yammering woman!

“ I’ll have a chat with the LCJ, ol’ Netty will fix it.”…

PP is long long time friends with the LCJ, Lord Chief Justice, Ian Barrett, Baron Burnett of Maldon. This was in a riddle a long time ago. Sounds like PP will speak with him and sort out this aggressive attack against the palace by ABC regarding PA. PP will set things to order with Netty aka Baron Burnett

“ done and dusted darling”.

Done and dusted, meaning everything is done, sorted, over and out, sayanora, goodbye, move along folks nothing to see here, you get the idea!🤣🤣🤣😂😂 l am giddy l am so happy about this!!😁😁😁😁😁😁🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 prayers answered, thank you dear Heavenly Father🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Madam is done, her stranglehold is no more! Two more appearances, tomorrow and RS, if she shows! Then forever out , she will NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED ENTRY IN THE U.K. AGAIN EVER!! She will be on a watchlist so she cannot sneak back for whatever nefarious reason she might have!

🎼” we’ve already said “ so long”🎼

Closing song from the Carol Burnett show, remember that? I’m so glad we had this time together, just to share a laugh and sing a song, seems we just got started and before you know it, it’s time to say so long. The only lyrics that apply are so long, but l was singing as l was typing. Remember she dressed up as a frumpy maid with the mop and bucket as she sang? Oh l am over the moon excited! HMTQ looked STUNNING today in the bright ROYAL PURPLE and gorgeous brooch. She was DEFINITELY sending a message, l am the Queen, l Reign and the Crown has won! 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻 GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

…🎼” With a Little help from my friends”🎼. Amen!!

I love this song, l’ll get by with a little help, this is our Harry. He will and is surrounded by loving family, can reconnect with all his close mates that he was forced to shut out. He will be just fine, in face more than fine. He is so well loved and everyone will be so glad to see that woman gone! As we used to say, let the door know hit you where the good Lord split you🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 BYE RACHEL!!!

November 6/2019

1200 hrs CST

GSTQAOBC

This sounds great! Exciting days ahead….I have more I would love to say, it can’t because don’t want her to know….thank you PG this is great! Thank you for doing this much appreciated….and you MM Anon thank you for sending in these fantastic riddles! 😊💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

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110: Nov 7

MM ANON …… Royal blue class…… navy blue @ss……… royal winning ……… smug grinning …… “ a quiet word in your shell-like Harry, she embarrassed you”…… “Sunday night ma’am, alone!!”…… Royal Trinity …… 🎼” leaving on a jet plane , don’t know “🎼……… “Exeter airport, not far from Babington ma’am”……”What!! a brotherly tour LG?”…… SANDRINGHAM sand pit…”one disaster at a time,old thing”……” Melania has royal discretion Philip”…… “ God knows Philip, money?”…… “whatever’ but not in bloody black and white “

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🐼🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

Prayers for mr🐼 and our dear 🐼🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

November 7/2019 2250 hrs CST Riddle #110

Royal blue class…… navy blue @ss……… royal winning ……… smug grinning

Appearances today at various Remembrance ceremonies. Catherine looked stunning in her Royal blue. Might l suspect a pregnancy just based oh how very tired she looked or is it just all the crap with madam etc, plus having three children. She looked every bit the Royal Duchess and future Queen she is. She carries herself with this innate elegance, you cannot buy nor fake it. She was, as always, stunningly beautiful.

Madam on the other hand, oh where do l start. Copycat massive wig, trying to match Catherine’s gorgeous hair. Coat half open, a coat not fit for the occasion. Fake hair covering the poppy. Boots?? Really?? And that constant blanking smug look and emu attitude, this too one cannot buy, it’s her innate sense of entitlement. She’s just so inappropriate!!

“ a quiet word in your shell-like Harry, she embarrassed you”

Someone offering Harry support for the way madam behaved today. He even had to tell madam, or rather signal to her to close her legs as she was again standing as if she were going to straddle something! Poor Harry. Harry had to quietly signal this to her. He looked so official and outstanding in his dress uniform!, doing his duty today, ignoring her keeping focused yet a side eye monitoring her behaviour. He was in his own shell, focusing on the solemnity of the occasion and sick and tired of being tethered to her. Almost done Harry, Sunday she’s gone!!

“Sunday night ma’am, alone!!”

Madam will get on the plane and leave the U.K. FINALLY AND PERMANENTLY! Pending possible alleged treason or charges. No RPO, no security, no one to carry her bags, ALONE!!!😁

Royal Trinity

Without a doubt, Prince William, Duchess Catherine and Prince Harry. They will resume where they were before madam came onto the scene. Harry will need time to recover but getting back to being Royal and amongst people who love him will go great lengths. The people will be so glad to see madam gone, Harry will soar in popularity, the love for him will soar.

🎼” leaving on a jet plane , don’t know “🎼……… “Exeter airport, not far from Babington ma’am”

Great old song, l used to play this on the piano and sing a lot. Don’t know when I’ll be back again, oh babe l hate to go, YEAH RIGHT RACHEL! You’re happy as a pug in a sty to be getting out of England! Exeter is a city east if London l think, sounds like her alleged private jet to L.A. will be leaving from there.

”What!! a brotherly tour LG?”

Sounds like, remember a previous riddle where l interpreted William and Harry may take some time at Balmoral to hunt, fish etc, celebrate madam being gone. The. Cambridge children wanted to go, remember? Well it sounds like LG has a smashing idea to show the solidity of the brothers relationship and help Harry readjust, the two boys, l call them goys in my head, the two Princes May do a few appearances/occasions together. Banner idea LG, banner l say!!!!

SANDRINGHAM sand pit

Sandringham is where the Royal family goes to enjoy their family Christmas time. Catherine, despite having been with William for years was not invited until after they married. Somehow, and it perplexed many of us, madam was included before she and Harry wed. Sand pit can be a sand pit to play in or it can be a metaphor for sink ing in quicksand, burying things in a sandpit, keep things buried like secrets etc. I wonder what madam did there, did she go in areas she wasn’t meant to? What is the secret from the sandpit there?

”one disaster at a time,old thing”” Melania has royal discretion Philip”“ God knows Philip, money?”…… “whatever’ but not in bloody black and white “

HMTQ and PP, gorgeous relaxing evening clothes, today l picture her in velvet of a purple colour, and a lovely throw over her knees of a lovely plaid wool. The 🔥 fireplace is full, warm and crackling, can you feel it? So cosy and warm. PP is wearing black, cozy wooden sweater. Sharing cocktails 🍸, maybe some cream caramel for PP. he was hankering first some the other night. Close time, talking over the concerns they share. PP is reassuring her, one crisis at a time, madam and yet another attack on the royal family through PA. I truly think that was the original plot but the backers couldn’t get through.This is a decade or more long plot to destroy the Monarchy. This is only what we know, IMAGINE all that has happened that is top secret!!! As earlier riddle said Melania Trump has had foul things printed about her that were lies, she sued and won! So seating her next the Harry at the NATO banquet will be very appropriate!

They are talking about something madam has done or will be doing, possibly politics and pondering if her motifs money. Well that’s her motive for every filthy thing she has ever done so…,likely YES!

Talking about a family portrait for Christmas, again mantis previous riddle. PP funny, a blithe attitude but tired of madams black and white photos, 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, only colour portrait!

November 7/2019 2345 hrs

I absolutely love how you turn the riddle into exciting tales! One can so easily visualize the scenario. Thank you so much, so appreciated….good times are coming!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy

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111: Nov 9

MM Anon

MM ANON … beyond the bathrobe..…hit the spot(not)…never on a Sunday …… 🎼Sun-day my Prince will come🎼…LA Confidential …… morning TV. …… The Late shows …… “And now a surprise guest ‘Princess Megan and Prince Archie”…… “And now a word from her sponsor”…… A Meg-a endorsement … “you can have my jet”…… please!! a little decorum”…… Who’me

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK GOD FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS AND MR 🐼 HEALING🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜💜🙏🏻THANKS SO MUCH MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

November 9/2019 1630 hrs CST, Riddle #111

beyond the bathrobe

Well madam attended the The Poppy Factory Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey with Harry on Thursday , Camilla was dr ordered to bed with a chest infection. Now that was odd because Wednesday she had an appearance and tonight she was there. I think she just was not well enough to deal with the unpredictable madam!! She wore a boucle fabric coat by her favourite, Canadian company Sentaler, boy l bet they wish she would STOP!! The nature of the fabric and style of the coat really had the appearance of a cozy bathrobe, certainly nothing near appropriate for such a solemn occasion. As a matter of fact, the hooker boots, massive amount of makeup, FALSE eyelashes, weird belt etc etc shall l go on? I think we all agree! For the longest time she has loaded on the bronzer especially in Africa. We have been told repeatedly she likes the natural look and her freckles aka she doesn’t have any decent makeup nor money to buy. Wow was she decked out on Thursday! I just cannot get over false eyelashes which l don’t fancy anyway, but the smug face at this solemn occasion, she never fails to fail. That cross of hers was like a child had stamped it, VERY clear which two were royal and hers was not. Then there were the games of her not standing where she was directed too, at one point Harry had to motion to her and at another point she stood so close that HE had to move to take the salute at last post. If he hadn’t moved his elbow would have smashed her in the face. Wow did he look and do well. I love how the papers said he was so protective of her🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. Watching her was more like it, so she would behave! Huge wig, l could go on and on.

hit the spot(not)

As above, l should have included this, she was told where to stand, then moved, Harry had to signal to her. After she put her cross in, she returned standing too close et etc etc. Never hit the spot she was meant to be standing. Surely madam would not purposely do that would she???🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

.never on a Sunday

Old song called never ever on a Sunday, Petula Clark. I always thought she was the prettiest girl ever. This song is all about loving, no loving on a Sunday because that’s her day of rest, used to be Sunday was the day of rest, was it really? For some l guess, farmers never, nurses, ambulance, firefighters, police, factory works and on and on. Well Sunday is madams last royal performance, off to America after that! Hallelujah?? No loving for her tomorrow, or any other day. People just are so beyond sick of her and her behaviour. Tomorrow bye bye Rachel. Get on that sweet old airliner and fly to L.A. l have no doubt Justice will catch up. BUT at least with her gone, the Royal family especially Harry is done with her filthy smug presence.

🎼Sun-day my Prince will come🎼

The Sun, what will they be printing in tomorrow’s edition??? This song is from Disneys animated classic Snow White. Someday my prince will come, she sings it awaiting her true love, as all the old Disney cartoons ended. Sunday is madams last day for an appearance with Harry!!! My he has conducted himself so well at these services!! I am still waiting madly for liftoff day, the 14th!! I used to tell this lame joke, all my jokes are lame🤣🤣🤣😂😂 but here it is. What did Snow White do while waiting for her pictures to be developed?(oh you have to be old enough to remember when we had to mail our thingy from the camera to process our film and a week or two later we got our photos! Does anyone else remember that?) Anyhow back to Snow White, whilst waiting she sings SOMEDAY MY PRINTS WILL COME,,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣Lame, l told you😁

LA Confidential

This is a fantastic modern, well 90’s version of a classic film noir, excellent movie. More to the point here, it is a magazine about the goings on in L.A. etc. Has madam got a tell all interview planned for her return home? I wonder how much she is going to charge for that? Lies, lies, and more lies. Lies infinity!

morning TV. …… The Late shows …… “And now a surprise guest ‘Princess Megan and Prince Archie”…

Yes, l have no doubt she will be raking in the money making appearances. Probably GK morning show, plus ABC morning show that attacked Prince George for taking ballet and the Palace, madam will be going for the jugular. She will be on home turf, and she will lie more than you have seen up till now! There are a bunch of late night chat shows in America, l am certain she will do the rounds. Introducing herself as Princess🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮, how is she going to come up with Archie??? That should be very very interesting. We KNOW she will be on EDG (Ellen de Generes )show, liar also.

And now a word from her sponsor”

This in old time radio and tv, is how they used to announce the ads, usually the radio shows had one sponsor. This may mean madam will be do some adverts. I think more likely, some big name ie GC, AC, BC, HRC, OW etc etc will come crawling out of the woodwork, supporting her publicly and quite like financially as well. People at this level could make all her IRS problems disappear!!

A Meg-a endorsement

Mega means huge! Meg is short for madam.So l am assuming or interpreting that BO, MO, HRC, BC, one or all will raise from the swamps and announce an endorsement of her for some sort of political office. This is far far FAR FROM OVER kids!

“you can have my jet”

Someone is giving her their jet. Is this just to get her out of England? I don’t think so. I think this is one of her backers, in this scheme, who will now switch to backing her us U.S. politics giving her their jet to use to travel about, make appearances, politic nature and likely endorse her as well. I sure hope Lady Justice wins here because if she is swimming politically with these big fish, she’s untouchable! How scary is this? I have contemplated writing your president because he will definitely be attacked by this cabal and her! Of this l have no doubt!

please!! a little decorum”…… Who’me

The dress she wore tonight was a repeat of the red/auberguine she wore at OYW at Windsor Castle. Huge open neck, barely a spot to pin her poppy, not that she cared. That dress was so unflattering. Decorum and madam do not go hand in hand. She has no manners, respect, elegance etc. Then when challenged she bats her false eyelashes who me??🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. No respect for the fallen, none. The amount of time she kept her head sort of bowed after she placed her cross was so fast, if you blinked, you would have missed it! But kids let’s take heart she will be gone. Don’t watch American news, l really pray ⚖️ is done.

November 9/02019 1745 hrs. CST

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you! Looks like she thinks she will be successful in the US! Oh her backers have an agenda…..I am so relieved she is moving on….don’t fret US….she will face justice….she just doesn’t believe it. Thank you so much PG! Awesome job once again.😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Skippy submission

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112: Nov 10

MM ANON …… game,set and lies…… “ that royal DR conversation actually took place “……… game, set And Siberia …… William isn’t enamoured …… “Bare legs, ever ready Rachel “🤣🤣🤣🤣………”So-Ho hook-up?? really”……… “the RPO HAS to keep quiet!!! …… “ a scandal to far old thing “…… “ pray it stays!!”…… “extra protection , NO , let her pay!!”……… “ her little friends ‘ it’s a called a sleepover William “ …… “Yes,Edward and Sophie “…… “wheels up ma’am ,… thank god LG

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

SHE IS GONE SHE IS GONE HALLELUJAH SHE IS GONE!!!

November 10/2019 Riddle #111 1320 hrs CST

May I first say how gorgeous HMTQ, Catherine, Sophie all of them, the boys in their dress uniforms, amazing! Tears from HMTQ we’re for a multitude of reasons and to see Catherine lean in , l assume to ask if she was alright was the most amazing photo!

game,set and lies

Game, set, lies, in tennis it’s game set, match. Everything throughout this entire ordeal with this woman has been a game and full of lies. I do not think she would know what truth is, if she spoke it or lived it she might self-combust!

“ that royal DR conversation actually took place “

DR could be dining room, Doris Ragland, Divorce rules, . A royal conversation could mean a heated conversation or quite literally involving royalty. I know last Christmas there were rumours that Doria Ragland was invited to Sandringham for Christmas, but she did not attend. Then it was put down as gossip. Is this what MM ANON is referring to? But why now?

game, set And Siberia

Games on the balcony, remember TTC??? Well madam was on a separate balcony at the Foreign and Commonwealth Trade building today called the Siberian balcony. Actually quite funny, but not. In Russia, or the previous USSR, people who were unliked for various reasons, protesting or various other political reasons were sent to the gulags in Siberia. It’s the harshest, coldest environment. So appropriate that symbolically, HMTQ ha her be on the Siberian balcony!

William isn’t enamoured

What is this regarding the sleepover that Princess Charlotte wants? It’s not next to that clue, so l think it’s something else.

Well he obviously has never been enamoured with madam, does he have concerns about how she left? This clue confuses me in that there are so many possibles. Maybe he thinks madam should have flown commercial, but the private jet was part of the negotiation to get rid of her.

“Bare legs, ever ready Rachel “🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wore boots on Thursday even though she was told to wear tights/pantyhose. Naked legs at the dress evening last night and l am assuming a repeat today. Continues her big finger up to HMTQ. Why be different now?

”So-Ho hook-up?? really “the RPO HAS to keep quiet!!! …… “ a scandal to far old thing ““ pray it stays!!”

My goodness who did she hook up with? The RPO knows, saw all and must be kept quiet. Must be something huge if it’s a scandal too far and must be kept quiet. Good heavens, might explain where her new clothes have come from. Whoever she hooked up with, must be very wealthy, famous and something that must be kept quiet! Wow madam never misses a chance to sin does she? I am not going to say who l think it might be but l certainly have a very strong suspicion!

“extra protection , NO , let her pay!!”

No protection, she can pay for her own after the ceremonies today. No RPO to go with her to America. She will have to look after herself but l am quite certain she already has that handled. Wild cats like her know how to scrape and scratch for what they want. HMTQ is very clear in what she is saying, refusing extra protection and that she can pay for any regular protection out there in the big bad world.

“ her little friends ‘ it’s a called a sleepover William “

Sounds like little Princess Charlotte and her friends are keen to have a sleepover! Oh those were such fun! I would love to be a fly on the wall. I know how my six year old niece runs her family🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. Little girls with strong personalities have a way of doing that. I love it!!

“Yes,Edward and Sophie “…… “wheels up ma’am ,… thank god LG

Countess Sophie was previously scheduled to visit New York and Toronto this week, solo. Now l wonder if Edward will fly with her and madam will be supervised by them to make sure she deplanes in New York! What a rude awakening that will be. No security, on her own, unless whoever the nig wig she hooked up with at SoHo is footing her bills. Madam is very adept at that. Wheels up, means the jet has taken off. SHE IS GONE!!! Thank God LG, HMTQ very relieved.

Now l picture, the family, in their own ways celebrating that this day has finally come! HMTQ and PP, we look in, again we see, the 🔥 blazing, warm and crackling, the scent and feel of the flames instant comfort. Lovely evening dress, pondering the memories revisited today, intertwined with the hell of the war with madam and her backers. Suddenly cream caramel for two arrives along with special cocktails 🍸. They toast one another to have survival yet another war. 🥂 Cheers to you both! God bless you both.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

November 10/2019 1415 hrs CST

I thought this day would never come. Congratulations and a million thanks to LG and his team!!

Thank you dear PG….I wonder when the articles coming out will start saying she is in the US? Or will she continue to play…gaslighting is her favourite PR strategy….but we know…she is gone. Thank you PG great job….always appreciated…🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜

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113: Nov 11

MM ANON …… “H’ phone Oprah , NOW!!…… “ we’ll stay with SW for a while”…… “ my mother’s already here”. ……… “ Lottie’ tell your little friends to stop jumping on the bed.” …… BREAKFAST!!…… “ OK’ who’s for sticky maple syrup and waffles?”…… Charlotte!!!! behave. …… “ We’re outnumbered George!!”……”NANNY HELP!, …… “Wait and see,ma’am, wait and see!!”…… “yes, my friends in the service!!”… The banquet would be a good time. ……Embroil him in duties to his regiment ……’seven for a secret never to be told

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

MADAM IS GONE!, Riddle #113 1250 hrs CST

November 11/2019 l took the morning to remember the fallen as today is Remembrance Day in 🇨🇦🙏🏻 LEST WE FORGET

“H’ phone Oprah , NOW!!

Prince Harry has been involved in a Mental Health initiative with Oprah for Apple TV. I do not know how much they have done of it or even started, however sounds like he is meant to call her and back out of it.

However, there is only ONE IDIOT IN THE WORLD THAT CALLS HIM H!! and orders him around like that!!! I hope he changes his phone number M! Madam is barely out of the country and she’s yammering for him to find her a place to stay or wanting something from OW! Good God Harry CHANGE YOUR MOBILE!!!!! ASAP

“ we’ll stay with SW for a while”…… “ my mother’s already here”.

As l had proposed yesterday in the riddle, a wild cat like madam finds soft cushions. Well, it does not get any softer that a billionaire like SW and her husband is worth more than that, who we KNOW has been a backer and obviously STILL IS! Now we know where Doria has been kipping to avoid SPLASH news that they hired😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂 paparazzi and why Doria needs an assistant l I couldn’t get that last week when a photo of her ‘assistant ‘ walking her dogs made the rounds. I was saying in a riddle then, why does she need an assistant.This might also explain why she has eight million dollars in her bank account! So this is where madam will have ‘Family Thanksgiving’,OW BO MO HRC BC, the whole entire “family”. How precious, l almost shed a tear NOT,🤢🤢🤮

“ Lottie’ tell your little friends to stop jumping on the bed.” …… BREAKFAST!!…… “ OK’ who’s for sticky maple syrup and waffles?”…… Charlotte!!!! behave. …… “ We’re outnumbered George!!”……”NANNY HELP!, ……

Well little Princess Charlotte had her sleepover. I assumed it would be at KP due to security issues. Waffles, giggly girls, William seeking solace in George, little Louis is too young yet😂😂🤣🤣. William screaming jokingly for Nanny Maria Borollos, but she likely is with Prince Louis. I would love to have been a fly on the wall, l know l say that in every riddle but it’s true each time l say it!By the way William, l am still waiting for my waffles!😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😁😁

“Wait and see,ma’am, wait and see!!”“yes, my friends in the service!!”

LG in conversation with HMTQ. She is wondering or commenting on media release of info date LIFTOFF!!!!NOVEMBER 14 according to a previous MM ANON riddle! How will things be released, all at once? LG supportively saying just wait and see, excitedly by the exclamation marks. I am sure after all this waiting the press has done, sitting on all this golden horrible but news breaking secrets of madam, it’s going to be brilliant! I am certain LG has been involved.

HMTQ also voicing concern over madams next move, as obviously once a narcissist always a narcissist, and even though madam never LIVED with the a Royal family she was privy to many events including Sandringham. I have no doubt throughout this entire ordeal the family, spoke to her only as politeness would require and never ever EVER shared information. Nonetheless, she was in the palace, observed how they do things, etc, she holds a lot of information and l don’t know what her departure agreement included but l definitely see fee doing the tv rounds, magazines, PR will continue and a book of my life if she was a duchess or some such garbage!

As we know LG has many connections in the world on intelligence, all over the world. He will be in touch with some of these individuals and keep track of what madam gets up to. I am certain President Trump who brought such valuable intel on his state visit last time, that he has has his homeland security department monitoring her and her backers!!!

The banquet would be a good time.

The NATO banquet is December 4/2019. HMTQ will host NATO leaders, it will be an all out elegant affair. I can hardly wait for the photos. This would be a good time to what. Perhaps put out a notice of formal separation on the day if the banquet? I cannot see HMTQ doing anything to overshadow such an event. I wonder if , as has been mentioned twice in riddles, that Prince Harry will be seated next to Mrs. Melania Trump for the evening. Perhaps some announcement may be made that day about a position for Harry to serve in the military. A huge part of me would love a formal announcement of separation, but that’s unlikely but l still want it, hey maybe annulment? Something!!!

Embroil him in duties to his regiment

HMTQ is pondering how best to have Harry era climate to his life now that madam is gone. How glorious. The public will want to see him and know he is finally regaining his health and happiness. Sounds like involving him in his past military career is the answer. Given his Invictus Games and involvement in mental health issues and his own, this is a phenomenal idea. I do believe it will be a bespoke role, created especially for him, non-combat of course. He has so much experience and it will help him rebuild his confidence tremendously. I can foresee a number of roles for him. This is fantastic!

…’seven for a secret never to be told

This is from an old rhyme about magpies. Great big beasts of a bird, black and white, they extremely loud and eat others eggs etc. I remember one Sunday afternoon a friend of mine and her husband live on a farm and she has a bunch of us for dinner. We got talking, they were saying how many magpies they had and the great annoyance they are. Well right after dinner, out came the rifles and we all spent a good few hours riding them of the problem. It was marvellous. DONT JUDGE until you have lived on a farm and had these massive rats with wings stopping at your or your children’s heads!! They remind me of ravens, always made me think of Poe, Edgar Allen Poe. The Raven, read it! Wow sorry kids, l REALKY DIGRESSED there, but l think you like my elaborative writing!

Anyone, back to the clue, the nursery rhyme is below.

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss.

Seven for a secret never to be told. This was in yesterday’s riddle. HMTQ feels imperative, RPO MUST KEEP SCHTUM(quiet), the manner of how Prince Harry Met madam, as MM ANON put it yesterday in PP words, a’a scandal beyond a scandal’.

What hell hath this succubus wrought on or beloved Queen and Prince Harry, the entire royal family, England, the U.K. and our beloved Commonwealth. We have many many friends in other countries who share the horror with us as faithful friends and we so love them for it!!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

November 11/2019 1350 hrs CST LEST WE FORGET

Thank you dear PG! Fantastic read once again….your personality shines through, and I love that…interesting days ahead! Thank you🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

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114: Nov 13

MM ANON ……… 🎼” let the Sunshine”🎼…… who pulled the short straw?……… palm trees at Sandringham …… “ pass the Dorito’s darling “……… Sophie’s surprise ……“ I love the belt sweetie”. … Preg-nont…… “ I love the belt sweetie” ……… “yes , smile and serve them gru-el”…… Christmas?” Musical chairs old thing” ……… more of a 12 by 6 ……… small expectations …… Kate’s red carpet …… “ bet she goes for the lovers knot.” …… Hobson choice.

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜THANK YOU MM ANON LOTS OF 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜

November 13/2019 1730 hrs CST , RIDDLE#114

🎼” let the Sunshine”🎼

Old song let the sunshine in, face it with a grin smilers never lose and frowned s never win. Also from the age of Aquarius. Either way SS, Sunshine Sachs, madams PR agency, one of them known for using ‘dark arts’, deeply dark things. They have in overdrive going back and forth with the Palace today is battling statements. They have absolutely NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE DEALING WITH RIGHT LG????

who pulled the short straw?

Usually when there is a task needing done and no one wants to do it, tour draw straws and one straw is shorter and THAT person gets or has to do the thing no one wants. What might this be. RPO babysitting madam? Royal sitting next to madam at the Christmas? Who knows where Christmas will be, but this is involving madam for sure and no one wants to do what needs done! Maybe it’s who sits next to a Doria at a Christmas!

palm trees at Sandringham

Rumours of madam on the beach in the Caribbean. Are they going to put some pal trees in so madam feels like she is in L.A. when she is there for Christmas??? This is so ridiculous!!

pass the Dorito’s darling “

Oh, is Doria coming for crimbo too?? Oh dear, Dorito has been the way madams is referred to by many. Prince Charles and Duchess Camilla are dining and Camilla, l can see her all dressed for dinner, making this cheeky comment to Charles, and Charles’ red face getting redder as a broad smile and chuckle ensues. By the way, l am NOT joking at his red face, l have several times here written my concern about that along with his red and swollen hands. His birthday is tomorrow let’s remember! He is on tour in India now.

Sophie’s surprise

Sophie was meant to fly to NYC with madam. Something happened and madam didn’t show up for the flight. I looked online earlier l could find nothing about Sophie in NYC. She is also due in Toronto for a women’s empowerment conference/anniversary.

“ I love the belt sweetie”

Madam wore a Gucci belt on RS , worth a few months rent! Is this a catty comment or a genuine from MA or the crying makeup artist? Most public comments were scathing and many think she is trying to look like she’s pregnant or let people think she may be.

Preg-nont

Madam has been wearing her belts very high, tight clothes etc. The last few days PR talking about a second child and she was seen holding her tummy at Royal Hall for RD evening service. Yes yes games games games .

“yes , smile and serve them gru-el”

Another SS doozy PR crap, madam volunteering🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 at a homeless shelter near Frogmore, millionaires homeless now!??🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 on Thanksgiving, in a country that doesn’t celebrate it🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂. Sorry you just cannot make this garbage up. It’s like they have a room full of zoo animals pressing buttons for ideas! No offence to zoo animals! Gruel is slop, if you ever read a Dickens that’s what they fed the children in Oliver, tastes terrible but enough to keep you alive,

GRU or GRU is the name for the former USSR KGB secret police. Surely GRU is not at play here?!

Christmas?” Musical chairs old thing”

Madam for Christmas?,Doria for Christmas?, lots of moving around so everyone takes a turn politely talking to Doria and madam. Oh come on, MM ANON, we all know THERE US NO POSSIBLE WAY they are going to be there! I have explained the game of musical chairs in a previous riddle.

more of a 12 by 6

💜💜💜💜This, l firmly believe, is where madam is. Contained , either by bars or in a psychiatric a facility, her mind having fractured and split apart by the stress all of her own doing. Good luck to all those minding her!!!💜💜💜💜

small expectations

Great Expectations, by a Charles Dickens about the French Revolution…it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…..explains everything happening in England/the U.K. now. Here we have small expectations, that is what we have or of madam and she is cornered yet her OR is working overtime and each time today BP has countered played the PR. This is a public game of chess with someone who cannot even play checkers!

Kate’s red carpet …… “ bet she goes for the lovers knot.”

This is a reference to the NATO gala banquet that HMTQ is hosting. Catherine, as usual will wear The Lovers Knot Tiara, l hope she wears a red or green Christmasy gown. I can hardly wait for the photos!!!

Hobson choice.

This goes way way back, even a film made. I haven’t seen it though The phrase is said to have begun with a livery stable owner, Thomas Hobson in the 1700’s England, who offered customers the choice of either taking the horse in his stall nearest to the door or taking none at all. A Hobson’s choice is a freely made choice only one thing is offered. Because a person may refuse to accept what is offered, the two options are taking it or taking nothing. In other words, one may “take it or leave it”.

Madam is in a pickle, so to speak, a tight sour situation. She, wherever she is, although l have a confident idea exactly where she is, is cornered with only one choice and she loathes to accept it! TICK TOCK🕰 TICKITY TOCK RACHEL! THE BELL HAS ALREADY TOLLED FOR THEE!!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

November 13/2019 1820 hrs CST

Thank you dear PG…much appreciated….🙏🏻💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

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