#because reading is a lot faster than editing lol

[yume-yato]

Noragami 105-2: Boundary World

Chapter Summary:

The blight from the dark ayakashi can now blight humans from the mortal world. Nothing can cleanse them. Meanwhile, Yato continues fighting Father, noticing that Father does not have all of Izanami’s powers.

#please let me know if this style is a lot easier to read to see the manga caps #just trying to save time #because reading is a lot faster than editing lol #Noragami 105-2 #yatothedeliverygod #noragami spoilers #yatogami #noragami #god of calamity #shinki #kazuma #bishamon #yukine #Yaboku #kid yato #the sorcerer #daikaku #ebusu

[bboricha]

we did... what in your mind?!

➳ wc: ~600 ➳ pairings: pervert streamer!kaedehara kazuha x mind reader afab!reader ➳ cw: shibari, one (1) hickey, pet name (my love), praise kink if u squint ➳ kabukicho bad trip: 5wirl edition masterlist

synopsis: you're in lit class with one of the most famous people at your university, kaedehara kazuha, a streamer. you happen to be bored and ran out of things to do, letting your eyes wander around the room and you end up meeting kazuha's, getting a glimpse into his mind.

you're sitting in class, zoning out to the droning voice of your professor, going on about Chaucer or Conrad or something—you're not sure, you don't really care. heart...darkness...canterbury... it's whatever, it's not important.

you've already run out of things to do on your laptop too. solitaire? you're tired of it. tetris? you might rage even if it isn't a rage kind of game. amazon? you're too broke. you huff out a frustrated breath, opting to look around the class instead, to maybe daydream, or maybe listen to what others have to say. in their minds, you mean.

yes, you'd rather not listen to other people's thoughts because you know how creepy it would be if they knew, because you know, you just want to respect their privacy. but sometimes you genuinely can't help it if you happen to make eye contact with them—that’s what triggers it after all. it’s kind of hard though to keep your eyes cast down all the time because you also try to make an effort to seem like a normal, sociable person. it just gets awkward sometimes when you're speaking and they start thinking of a lunch menu instead.

your eyes wander over to kaedehara kazuha—a popular streamer known for his parasocial relationships with his fans that happen because he's apparently genuinely nice. not that it matters, but his existence in your class has been a bit of a nuisance to say the least. at the start of the semester, people used to flock around your class at the beginning and the end in hopes of snapping a photo of him. you understand why, he's very attractive pretty and famous, who wouldn't want a picture of an internet celebrity? a lot of people actually, but it doesn't too much anymore because apparently he asked on stream for people to stop it and to your surprise, they actually listened (lol). 

it was then his eyes met yours and you flinch, a barrage of obscene images flooding your head.

”you actually like being tied up, don’t you?” kazuha asks, the breath of his voice hits your ear as he tugs on the binds around your body, pulling you towards him. the red rope digs into your skin, the sting complementing the way his fat cock drags inside your walls. he sucks a mark onto the crook of your neck, promptly pushing you back into his pillows as he takes hold of your hips, spreading you apart as he pulls out, leaving just the tip in.

“you’re sucking me in so… much,” he groans, slowly thrusting back inch by inch, making you whine against his sheets begging for him to go faster. “patience is a virtue, my love.”

he bottoms out, grinding on you when he tugs at the rope again, tears falling from your eyes as a result. he takes notice of this, caging you with his frame as he leans in, the angle of his cock seemingly hitting you even deeper than before (if it was even possible), and he wipes the tears from your eyes.

“just a bit more, alright? you’re doing so well,”

you gasp, averting your eyes and immediately slapping a hand over your mouth to prevent any more unprompted noises. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?? you think, entirely unsure how to process this sudden surge of information. you cautiously look back up towards kazuha’s direction against your better judgment, almost flinching for a second time when you notice his stare. he mouths a “are you ok,” his thoughts reading as genuinely concerned so you vehemently nod your head and he smiles in return. you can feel your cheeks heating up as you place your arm on the desk, resting your chin on your hand and returning your attention to your computer that was left open on a new tab.

➳ an: foaming at the mouth i love ooc kazuha where there's more than meets the eye with him oh god

#bboricha*:･ﾟ✧ #bori writes*:･ﾟ✧ #bori genshin*:･ﾟ✧ #bori nsfw*:･ﾟ✧ #kabukicho 5wirl *:･ﾟ✧ #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha smut #kaedehara x reader #kaedehara kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin impact kazuha #kazuha x you

[daddy-dins-girl]

First Date: Frankie Morales

HAPPY FRANKIE FRIDAY Y'ALL!

Masterlist

AO3 link

Frankie Morales x f!Reader

Summary: Based on this tumblr Ask. A full one-shot based on a quick little headcanon drabble I wrote about what a first date with Frankie Morales might look like. There's a little of backstory for Reader because it's me and you know I just can't help myself.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. Fluff and smut (because we like to strike a delicate balance here). Porn with a sprinkle of plot (again, delicate balance). Cuteness overload during your date with Frankie (sign me up for this date please). Heavy makeout session. Mutual masturbation. Fooling around in the back of Frankie's truck because of uh... reasons. Read to find out! I think that's it for warnings. As far as my stuff goes I'd say this is pretty tame? lol. But if I missed anything lmk!

Notes: I hope there aren't any glaring mistakes here. If I find any I'll come back and edit. Tbh I wrote 99% of it on my phone because our wifi was down for THREE DAYS here (RIP me!). It finally came back this morning just in time for me to post this for Frankie Friday ❤️

You tap your phone’s screen to illuminate it and check the time for probably the fifteenth time in as many minutes to make sure you’re not running late yet as you stand over the bathroom counter putting the final touches on your appearance, wanting to look perfect for tonight. Nerves flutter in your tummy like butterflies and you have to constantly remind yourself to calm down, take it easy.

“It’s just Fish, nothing to get yourself all worked up about” Benny had offered earlier, unhelpfully.

Sure, to your cousins Benny and Will it was just their longtime friend and military buddy, but to you it was the very cute, though very shy, sweet guy that you had met for the first time only recently since you came to “temporarily” crash at your cousins place.

Temporarily had turned into three months far faster than you anticipated. You needed a fresh start, to get out of a not great situation and it was actually your Aunt who had suggested the move to you during your phone call to her on her birthday. Your mother had already been filling her ear with your personal drama it seemed and though she didn’t want to pry, she did want to help and she suggested getting away for even a couple of weeks, that her sons had lots of room at their place and would be happy to have you for a while. After a few phone calls with both Will and Benny they had settled any doubts you might’ve had and welcomed you with open arms when you showed up at their doorstep with little more than a single roller suitcase and a small potted plant under your arm. It was about all the possessions you had left after the less than amicable split with your ex that left you couch surfing at your friends for months before the transition to Will and Benny’s.

So now here you stand, in the bathroom of the guest bedroom you have been calling your own for three months, getting ready for a date with the painstakingly handsome pilot himself, Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales.

You know how badly your cousins have been teasing you about the date, you can’t even begin to imagine the ribbing Frankie must have been taking from them since he’d asked you out last Sunday at a barbecue Will and Benny had been hosting and they’d somehow gotten wind of it. You’re surprised Frankie even kept the date, to be honest. Your cousins, you love them with all your heart, but they can be… a lot. You’re very glad Frankie didn’t back down to the pressure though. You’d seen him a fair bit in your few months here and have been dying for him to finally ask you out. You’d flirted enough and though he’d been quiet and shy in the beginning, the more you got to know each other, the more he seemed to come out of his shell around you.

So now here you were, moments before Frankie was due to show up at your door and you silently cursed yourself for not being as ready as you should be. You wanted to be ready and standing outside by now so that Will and Benny couldn’t get any more jabs in to poor sweet Frankie if he had to stand at the door waiting for you, but as you pull on the short, light denim jacket over your sundress you hear a bark of laughter from Benny and already you know you’re too late.

You quickly press some lip gloss on, run your hands through your hair to make sure it’s falling exactly how you want it to and then take a deep breath in the mirror and quickly scurry out of the bedroom to hopefully save the man that is standing outside on the porch.

“No keeping her out past curfew, no drinkin’ and drivin’, no crazy parties or gettin’ too handsy on the first date”

Benny is listing things off on his fingers to poor Frankie like he’s your father scalding your prom date and you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Will, you said you’d both be nice” you complain out loud to the older of the two brothers. Will wasn’t much better, but sometimes talking to Benny was like talking to a toddler amped up on a pack of Skittles, there was no getting through when he got over excited about something.

The most ridiculous part about it was that you and Benny were about the same age so it was a little comical, though sweet in his own way, how he tried to ‘big brother’ you.

“Ah c’mon Ace, we were just joshin’ him a bit” Will replies, bright white smile gleaming at you with a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes.

Ace of course being the nickname they had stuck you with since you were old enough to remember. Any family event you’d ever attended whenever there was any sort of game or sport going on the two boys always ensured you were on their team, likely because you were the only one close in age to them but you liked to tell yourself that it was also because the three of you always had fun together. They have always been so competitive and any time they won (largely due to their own efforts) they were sure to tell everyone that it was all because of you, that you were ‘the ace up their sleeve’ even when you barely did anything. Hell most softball games you preferred to sit in the grass picking flowers while they ran circles around you like pro athletes, but it was sweet how they always made sure to include you and make you feel good about yourself.

“Well we agreed you two goons wouldn’t scare him away” you remind them with a playful roll of your eyes and a swat to Benny’s shoulder when you finally reach the doorway.

You can see Frankie’s appreciative gaze roam over you from head to toe and as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and nervously adjusts his ball cap you know he’s itching to say something to you but probably weighing the pros and cons in his head about the two extra sets of ears hearing what’s meant only for you and so you decide for him. You shove past your two cousins, quickly tell them you love them and not to wait up and push them far enough back in the house so you can slam the door shut, finally leaving you on the porch with just Frankie.

“Hi” you breathe out, a smile spreading across your lips. He looks casual but deliciously handsome in a pair of dark tan khaki pants and an untucked light blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, putting his tanned and muscular forearms on display. He still has his infamous Standard Oil hat on, hints of chocolate brown curls peeking out from underneath it. You don’t think you’ve actually ever seen him without it, come to think of it. You try to picture him without it and an image just doesn’t come.

“You look beautiful” he tells you, a hint of shyness in his tone and a blush rises in your cheeks that didn’t come from a makeup stick.

“Thank you. I’m sorry about tweedle-dee and tweedle-A-D-D in there” you joke, gesturing a thumb over your shoulder at your two cousins who are currently fighting each other over who gets to look through the small pane of glass next to the door to watch your interactions with Frankie on the front step.

“Unfortunately I’m very used to it” he quips, giving you a warm smile. “Shall we?” He asks, sweeping an arm out towards his truck idling at the curb and you nod your head and lead the way.

Before you reach the truck however Frankie jogs up behind you to brush past and ensures he reaches the passenger door handle before you do and opens it wide, offering you a hand to help you up and inside. You both decide to ignore the whooping yells and hands slamming on the glass next to the door at the top of the walkway behind you.

“Let’s get the hell out of here, shall we?” You offer once Frankie’s climbed into the driver's seat next to you and he chuckles but nods his head.

“With pleasure” he agrees and pulls the truck away from the curb.

You’re driving for nearly an hour. Frankie had apologized already on several occasions, admonishing himself for not preparing you beforehand to make sure you wouldn’t be too hungry when he picked you up. You tell him it's fine countless times but he still admits he should’ve discussed his plan with you ahead of time.

“Hey, if what you say is true and these really are the best tacos I’ve ever had, you’ll not only be forgiven but I’ll be glad I was ravenous by the time we get there” you tell him and finally he seems to accept it and offers you a small smile, hand going to the dial on the radio to turn the classic rock tunes up just a little bit for the last few minutes of your drive.

The drive is nice. The ocean follows along in your journey when you look out your window and the way the sun sits in the sky you know it’ll be threatening to set not long after you arrive at your destination. Truth be told you were a little nervous when you first started driving and Frankie mentioned how long the trip would be. You worried that you wouldn’t have much to chat about or that it might get awkward but it had been anything but. Besides Frankie’s little bouts of anxiety about whether or not he should’ve mentioned to you what time you’d actually be eating, everything was going better than you had expected. The conversation seemed to flow easily between the two of you. You had enough jumping off points, with both of you having more than your fair share of stories or anecdotes about Will and Benny. You shared stories of your youths while Frankie caught you up on some of the more recent goings-on with them that you hadn’t been privy to since, before recently, you obviously spent a lot less time with them in your adult years versus the childhood ones. Before long the conversations shifted more to yourselves and your own personal lives and before you knew it Frankie was pulling the truck into a crowded parking lot in front of the beach.

You make your way through the throngs of people on the boardwalk, Frankie’s warm hand on your lower back a steadying presence as he guides you through the crowds towards the brightly painted green and yellow food truck off in the not-too-far distance. Your mouth is watering already and you’re not sure whether it’s for the tacos or the man on your left with the broad shoulders and thick arms but a gentle, calming touch.

If you had to venture a guess, it would be for the latter.

Frankie, to his credit, was absolutely right about the tacos. You’re halfway through your third one when you finally tap out and call it quits, unable to possibly stomach another bite - despite how delicious they are.

“I can’t. I want to, but I can’t” you admit defeat to what’s left of your dinner, tossing your napkin on top of your paper plate and holding your hands up in surrender and the corner of Frankie’s mouth curls up into a smirk.

“They’re good right?” He grins at you from across the picnic table while he stuffs the last bite of his own into his mouth and you roll your eyes dramatically at how good in fact they were.

“They were amazing, seriously. Well worth the drive and the wait” you tell him sincerely and then before you can talk yourself out of it you reach across the table to place your hand on top of his and give a little squeeze with your fingers.

“Thank you for dinner. I’m um… really glad you asked me out tonight”

That confession earns you an ear to ear grin from Frankie who swallows down the last bit of his dinner and then turns his hand palm-up so he can hold your fingers in his grasp.

“Me too. But, the night’s not over” he offers with a playful quirk of his eyebrow.

“There’s more?” Your brow line lifts to your forehead. “I’m going to need a few minutes to digest first” you laugh, placing a hand over your stomach and Frankie chuckles but nods his head in agreement.

“Take all the time you need,” he tells you.

The sun is beginning its descent from the sky as you sit at the table a while longer, happily chatting about everything and nothing. You ask Frankie more about his young daughter and can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips the way his face lights up when he speaks about her or shows you his favourite pictures or videos of her on his phone.

With your food finally settled you’re back to wandering the boardwalk again with Frankie leading the way. He stops you at an ice cream truck and you groan at the idea of having to shove more food into your stomach but the childish grin and teasing nudge to your side with his elbow convinces you to take him up on his offer anyway and you ask for small scoop of the bright orange Tiger Stripe flavour in a dish while Frankie opts for a waffle cone of classic Mint Chocolate Chip.

With no small effort you manage to finish the sweet dessert and toss your garbage into a nearby receptacle and Frankie nudges your shoulder with his and gestures with an outstretched arm towards the beach.

“Wanna go walk it off?” He suggests and you give him an easy smile, more than excited about taking a romantic walk down the beach at sunset with him.

The warm sand squishes between your toes as you walk the length of the beach. Frankie had insisted on carrying your shoes for you when you opted to take them off; the strappy sandals hanging from the fingertips of his right hand while his left brushes experimentally against the back of your right and you turn your palm towards him and he wastes no time taking hold, your fingers interlacing. You smile and press a little closer into his shoulder.

“This is perfect” you sigh as soft waves lap at your feet and the sun bids it’s final adieu for the evening, disappearing just past the horizon on the other side of the ocean.

“So I did good?” Frankie smirks at you and you let out a little laugh, nodding your head.

“Ten out of ten would recommend” you answer without hesitation.

“Recommend to who? If you think I’m taking Benny on a date next you’re poorly mistaken” he jokes and it earns an outburst of laughter from you as you grab onto his forearm with your free hand and lean further in still.

“You guys could make a pretty cute couple” you tease and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head in laughter.

“Already got the prettiest Miller on my arm, thank you very much” he affirms and your giggles die down as the blush re-emerges and you turn your gaze down to the sand at your feet and squeeze his arm just a little tighter as a thank you to his easy compliment.

You walk a little while longer, your fingers still entwined and your free hand wrapped around his arm that’s holding your hand, snuggling as close as possible while you continue to chat and joke and tease each other.

Being with Frankie seems so easy. Normally you were so nervous during first dates and it’s been so long since you’ve actually been on one you could barely remember what it normally feels like but you’re certain it’s never felt like this. You felt comfortable. And maybe a lot of that had to do with the fact that you’ve already met with and hung out with him on numerous occasions now there was less to be nervous about. But you think it’s mostly him. He’s so easy going and calm to be around; he just puts you at ease with one upward curve of his lips or the way his soft brown gaze seemingly bores into your very soul with a single look.

Besides that, you knew he must be a pretty decent guy or Will and Benny would’ve had something (aside from friendly teasing) to say about it. They were the big brothers you never had growing up, always looking out for you until your lives took you all down very separate paths and if they trusted Frankie with you, you knew you were in good hands.

Hands that were currently, mind you, smoothing up and down your sides as Frankie pressed you into the passenger door of his pickup as you stood on the street outside your temporary home saying your goodnights.

“Kiss me” you breathe into the limited space between your two bodies that are thrumming with unspent energy.

Not bothering with a verbal response, Frankie closes the distance between you, his lips capturing yours finally for that first kiss you’ve been craving since he picked you up hours ago. He tastes like mint and chocolate, and although normally it would be one of the last options you go for at the ice cream shop, the way it tastes on Frankie’s tongue instantly makes it your new favourite.

The energy in the cab of his truck the whole ride back had been tangible, his right hand on your thigh, yours trying not to dig into the plush material of the seats as you tried to focus your mind on anything other than ordering him to pull the truck into park so you could crawl into his lap and thank him properly, the way you wanted to so badly.

“Hermosa,” Frankie groans, his mouth trailing now from your lips down your jaw and to the side of your throat as his hands grip your hips. The scruff of his beard brushes the delicate skin of your neck when he nuzzles further into you and heat instantly pools in the lower part of your belly, causing a little moan to slip out. You feel your breath quicken, heart rate speeding up to keep pace with Frankie’s that you can feel through your clothes with how closely he’s pressed against you. Your arms raise to wrap around his neck, hands playing with the soft curls at the back of his head, running your fingers through them (something you’d been dying to do since the first time you met him, if you’re being honest with yourself).

“Should’ve taken me back to yours” you whisper against his ear as he continues to nip, lick and kiss at your throat.

“Santi’s on my goddamn couch” he groans, annoyed.

You remembered, now that he’s said it. Santiago, another military buddy of your cousins that you’d met a few times and one of Frankie’s best friends, had been having problems with his girlfriend and a week ago she had actually kicked him out of their shared apartment and with you taking up residence in Will and Benny’s guest room, that left Frankie’s couch.

“Shit” you mutter. You don’t dare take him inside to your room. Though the house looks dark and the boys are probably asleep, that’s not something you’re going to chance. At least not on a first date. You don’t need their judgment, nor do you need Frankie holding anything back from you due to the unfortunate circumstances.

His mouth is back on yours, unable to stay away from it for long it seems. His tongue pushes inside and strokes alongside yours, causing a little shiver to run down your spine. He licks into your mouth, exploring every cavern and swallowing all your little whimpers and whines. Frankie was an amazing kisser. You can’t help but wonder how talented his tongue may be elsewhere; the thought alone sending a fresh wave of arousal through you and causing another moan to slip out which Frankie responds to with one of his own. His right hand leaves your hip and goes to your thigh next, gently raising your leg off the ground to wrap around him and a gasp escapes you when his hand slips under the hem of your dress and trails upwards towards your hip.

“Fuck, Frankie” you breathe, pulling back just enough so you can start peppering kisses to his strong jawline.

“Tell me to stop, fuck, you need to tell me stop” Frankie pleads. You can feel his obvious desire for you pressed into your stomach as his left hand moves down to grope your ass and pull you even closer against him.

“Mmm, don’t want to” you hum into his throat and he groans in desperation, rocking his hips into you and causing a delicious bit of friction where you need it most. Your whole body is tingling, feeling like you could combust at any moment. Your muscles are tense, hands fighting for purchase on any part of him they can grab onto, eager to keep him from convincing himself to pull away from you.

Just when you feel him begin to pull back you do the only thing that comes to mind and turn in his grasp and reach for the back passenger door of the crew cab, swinging it open and pulling him back towards you by the collar of his shirt.

“Fuck, Sweetheart” he stops dead in his tracks, feet outside on the ground still while your ass hits the back seat so you’re seated sideways on the seat, facing him.

“Look, I might not be up for Gentleman of the Year Award or anything, but I’m not… I can’t have our first time be in the back of my truck. You deserve so much better than that”

Your brain doesn’t miss how he says ‘first time’ like it implies that there will be more times, and god you hope there is. And while you don’t disagree with him that fucking in his car like teenagers isn’t maybe the most romantic way to do this, you still need something and you don’t want this night to be over yet.

“Just… come fool around with me a little bit” you shrug, coy little grin tugging at the corners of your lips and you see on his adorable face the moment his resolve crumbles. He’s hopping up into the truck in a flash, slamming the door shut behind him. He pushes you back onto the bench seat so you’re flat on your back and finally rips his hat off his head and tosses it carelessly somewhere to the floor and you’re in a fit of giggles at the playfulness of it all. The laughter dies on your lips however when he’s kneeled before your spread legs and drags your knees up to his hips and presses himself down on top of you, capturing your mouth in a heated kiss while his lower half grinds into yours.

“Is this OK?” He murmurs into the side of your face as his kisses trail towards your throat.

“Mmm hmm” you nod frantically. “More than OK” you promise.

He hums into your throat and brings his right hand to your breast, his large hand covering the mound and gently massaging the soft flesh, kneading and squeezing just right as your little moans and the way your back arches to push your chest further into his touch encourages him.

“Fuck,” he growls before shoving the front of your dress and cups of your bra down so he can get his mouth on bare skin.

He pulls away from your throat and shuffles down slightly, leaning down to swirl the tip of his tongue around the pert bud and then gently pull it into his mouth. He alternates between sucking it into his mouth and teasing with quick flicks of his tongue while nimble fingers pay the other equal attention and you writhe underneath him, grinding into his leg, desperate for any friction you can create.

“Perfect tits” he mumbles into your skin before his mouth switches sides. Your hands are in his hair, gently tugging and scratching over his scalp and the way he occasionally groans and grunts at your actions you know he likes it. You wish you weren’t shoved inside the back of his pickup right now. Oh the things you would let his mouth do to you if you weren’t…

After long minutes of attention spent on your breasts his mouth is finally back on yours. He moans into you when his tongue wraps around yours again and you decide to play a little dirty yourself and wrap your lips around his tongue and suck it into your mouth, just for a moment and then you release. You feel his hardened cock twitch against your hip when he grinds it into you.

“Tell me what you want, Baby” he asks between ragged breaths as his lips create a hot trail of open mouthed kisses down to your collarbone.

You decide to show him, rather than tell him, and reach for his right hand and bring it underneath your dress to the aching need between your thighs and he practically growls into your throat when he feels the damp spot that’s already formed on your panties.

“Oh my god” he groans, taking his first two fingers and rubbing your lower lips over the soft, soaked lace.

“Oh fuck, Frankie, you feel so good” you whine, not caring how wrecked you sound already.

His mouth covers yours again, his kiss hungry and needy as his fingers bravely dip under the waistline of your panties to finally touch your naked sex and push through the warm slick folds.

“Oh my god, make me come baby, please. Fuck.” You beg, your hands wrapping around his neck again and grabbing on for dear life. It’s been far too long and Frankie is quickly unraveling you into a mewling desperate mess.

“I’ve got you, Hermosa” Frankie promises, his breath hot against your ear now and you don’t doubt that he does. His skilled digits are already driving you crazy and he’s barely begun. Maybe it’s because it’s been a while, or maybe Frankie just really knows his way around a pussy.

He plunges two fingers inside of you and you cry out at the welcomed intrusion, whimpering into his shoulder at how he’s nearly got you undone already.

“God you feel fucking amazing” he groans into your heated flesh.

“Fuck Frankie, don’t stop, please” you whimper.

He doesn’t. His fingers continue their torturous assault, pumping in and out of you and occasionally coming out to rub tight little circles around your small bundle of nerves that causes your arm to shoot up in the air, palm of your hand pushing hard against the ceiling of the truck cab as your impending orgasm lingers threateningly.

“Let me touch you, please” you beg and Frankie growls in response before his free hand goes to his pants and nearly rips them open so he can push them down to his thighs and your hand immediately wraps around his throbbing length.

“Holy shit” you breathe. Your fingers failing to quite reach all the way around his impressive girth. He’s warm and heavy in your hand, precum steadily leaking from the head that you gather in your hand to use to coat down the rest of his length.

“Christ” Frankie grunts, unable to stop himself from thrusting his hips once to fuck into your hand. “Shit I’m sorry it’s um, been a while” he confesses shyly and you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“For me too” you tell him, easing his nerves. “God Frankie, I’m so close”

With that he pulls his hand away from you for only a moment, bringing it to his mouth to wet his fingers with his tongue and then they’re back on your clit, experimenting between rubbing and circling and pressing and even lightly pinching until he finds out exactly what makes you squirm under him and he doubles his efforts, working you faster and faster with the pads of his fingertips until you’re coming hard and fast with his name on your lips as you rock into his hand to chase the pressure of his touch.

“Oh fuck, that’s it” Frankie groans into the hollow of your throat, his fingers sticky and slick with your release. “God you’re so beautiful” he praises, pressing kisses to every inch of flesh he can reach.

His fingers continue to languidly stroke through your folds, easing you down from your high while his own breathing picks up at your continued actions below; practiced strokes of your hand wrapped around him while your thumb occasionally ghosts over his slit, gathering the evidence of his arousal and smearing it all over the thick and sensitive head.

“Fuck, I’m close” he warns, eyes screwed shut in concentration, his forehead now resting against yours. “Fuck!” He curses again and then quickly sits up on his knees, causing your hand to fall away from him and he takes himself in hand to finish himself off, not wanting to make a mess all over you or your pretty dress. Not having much option he yanks his shirt up instead and coats his own stomach with white hot ropes of his release until he’s left heaving and panting on his knees before you, free hand clutched tight on your knee beside him, fingers digging in deep enough you think they’ll leave bruises.

You’ll wear them like a badge of honor.

“Shit,” he breathes and then huffs out a little laugh. His eyes dart around for a moment and then he reaches into the little pocket on the back of the front passengers seat and pulls out a somewhat squished little pack of wet wipes (one of the conveniences of having a small child you presume, always lots of supplies around that adults might not otherwise think of keeping handy) and grabs a couple sheets and wipes up the mess he made of himself before shoving the wipes back into the pocket. You’re staring up at him, tip of your pointer finger between your teeth and a coy grin playing on your lips.

That was by far the absolute hottest make out session you’d ever had. Where has Frankie Morales been all your life, and what had you done to deserve him now?

“Are you still OK? That was… OK?” He asks and it’s sweet how he doesn’t even know how badly he just rocked your whole world.

“Ten out of ten would recommend” you retort teasingly, lifting your foot to push gently at his hip and he rolls his eyes playfully and lands a little swat to your thigh.

“Smartass. Maybe I oughta trade you in for Benny after all” he quips. “Get a lot less lip I bet”

“Hmm, but probably a lot less tongue too” you tease right back and he groans as you yank him down on top of you by his collar once more.

You’re not quite finished with Frankie Morales just yet.

Taglist: @yorksgirl @chronically-ghosted @rav3n-pascal22 @suzdin @boliv-jenta @senaar-ika @nerdieforpedro @theywhowriteandknowthings @within-the-depths @axshadows @iamasaddie @macabremads @prolix-yuy @vickywallace @survivingandenduring

If you'd like to be added, lmk!

#frankie morales x reader #frankie morales #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #triple frontier #frankie morales x you #frankie catfish morales #frankie friday #frankie morales fanfiction

[dead-dove-yandere]

Hhhh, I can't help but get attatched to our lovely bakery girl~. Could I request another drabble/short story featuring Laura?

Also, 👾🌒 anon's OC giving her petnames is soooo adorable!

~ 💌

Absolutely! This ended up being longer than I intended but oh well lol.

I think 👾🌒’s OC and Laura would be really cute together well as cute as a relationship with a yandere can be lol

TW: Stalking, unhealthy parasocial relationship, obsession, delusional beliefs, abusive messages, toxic behaviour

Laura looked up from the notebook on her desk as she heard a ping. She grabbed the mouse of her computer and looked until she saw the notification and she quickly clicked on it, her eyes scanning the screen.

“Darling made a new post!”

There was a quiet gasp from her as she clicked it, the post in question opening up and loading a video. She turned her sound up and started playing the video, kicking her feet under the desk and squealing with excitement. She loved seeing you, whether it be in videos like this, fancams, photoshoots, or the rare few occasions where she was able to go to a concert and see you in the flesh. Her heart raced as she remained transfixed on the screen. The video in question was just a silly one, a joke video where you go around pranking your fellow band members. The sort of thing made purely to be fan service, but it was much more than that to Laura. In her eyes, this was how you communicated to her, broadcasting yourself to the world to capture the attention of your soulmate, her. Her eyes widened as she was enraptured, hanging onto your every word and laughing along with you in the video.

She was interrupted by another ping. Her eyes flicked down and saw that it was a message from one of her friends. She paused the video and switched tabs to read the message.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

Laura typed a response, her keyboard clacking softly.

“Yeah sure, what’s up?” She watched as the typing icon appeared, taunting her as she waited, fidgeting. She wanted to finish watching your video. What could be taking so long? There was another ping as her friend finally sent a well edited response.

“I don’t want this to come off the wrong way but you’ve been talking a lot more frequently about that idol since we went to the concert and we’re concerned.” Laura frowned. She read and reread the message over and over, trying to make sense of it, not understanding what her friend was getting at. She typed back, her keyboard clacking louder as she typed faster.

“What do you mean? I’ve always been a fan of the band, I thought you guys were too? Why is it suddenly a problem?” There was another few minutes of waiting, and Laura started to get agitated, gritting her teeth as she tapped on the desk.

“That’s not the issue. It’s how obsessive you are about it now. Tbh it’s creeping a lot of our other friends out. I don’t want to be rude but you need help.” Laura’s eyes stung as tears blurred her vision. She bared her teeth as she read the message. Creepy? Why was she talking like this?

“What the hell do you mean creepy? I thought we were friends why the hell would you say something like that?” Laura got a reply almost immediately this time.

“This whole thing about you being convinced that some idol is your soulmate, it’s not healthy, Laura.” Laura didn’t even stop to think about her response, typing out whatever came to her in the moment, pressing hard enough that the keys creaked and threatened to crack. She spammed her friend with multiple messages, pouring out her anger.

“There’s nothing wrong with me liking an idol!”

“You’re just jealous because they looked at me not you at that concert.”

“We are soulmates, we are perfectly suited to one another!”

“All of you got lucky and got boyfriends or girlfriends and told me that I’d eventually find the right person but when I do all of a sudden you think I shouldn’t be with them?”

“Just because you’re all prettier than me and I’m the ugly friend it’s suddenly creepy to love someone?”

“Why are you picking on me?”

Laura never got a response to her barrage of messages. Her friend went offline and Laura groaned in frustration until her groan escalated to a scream. Tears poured from her eyes and down her face as she got up from the desk, pacing angrily until she flopped onto her bed and sobbed into her pillow. Why? Why why why? She asked herself over and over, trying to work out why her friends didn’t support her, why they all seemed to think she was some creepy stalker harassing an idol. Couldn’t they see that you and her were meant to be together. She pulled herself from the bed, and sat back at her desk, still sobbing. She blocked her friend then switched tabs back to the video of you. With only a few seconds left, she unpaused it, hoping that seeing you might cheer her up.

“And remember, the pranks I did today were all in good fun!” You say into the camera. “Real friends love and support each other - only fake friends are cruel to one another!” Laura’s eyes widen and light up as she uses her sleeve to wipe away her tears. You’re right - of course you’re right. Real friends wouldn’t do this to her. They’d support her, feed into her delusions crush. Real friends would see how perfect you and Laura are together. Laura takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as she realises she doesn’t need her old friends anymore. She doesn’t need any friends at all.

She only needs you.

Dividers Credit: See Pinned Post

#yancore #yandere #yandere fic #yandere imagines #yandere x darling #yandere blog #yandere drabble #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #yanblr #yandere x you #female yandere x darling #female yandere oc x reader #female yandere oc #tw stalker #tw stalking #stalking #stalker #Laura #Story

[anakin-pilled]

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan. 

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner. 

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel. 

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.” 

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t? 

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.” 

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.” 

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak. 

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering. 

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband. 

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence. 

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge. 

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress. 

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing. 

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.  

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.” 

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it. 

“I know that I’m a fuck up.” 

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible. 

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to. 

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“​​Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment. 

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis. 

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate. 

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.” 

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew. 

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that. 

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot. 

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good. 

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider. 

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father.  He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next. 

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first. 

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out. 

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest. 

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold. 

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents. 

“My family and I are leaving the forest.” 

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I  thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father.  They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke. 

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak. 

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half. 

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider? 

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible. 

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live. 

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice. 

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too. 

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did. 

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love. 

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself. 

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days. 

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned. 

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end. 

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.” 

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together. 

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

#kendra's works !!! #loak x female reader #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak x you #lo'ak x y/n #lo'ak sully #lo'ak te suli tsyeyk'itan #lo'ak #lo'ak avatar #lo'ak angst #avatar 2009 #avatar the way of water #avatar #atwow #lo'ak headcanons #lo'ak fic #avatar 2 #avatar fanfic #atwow lo'ak #a:twow #avatar lo'ak #avatar james cameron

[tuktukpodfics]

Hi! I'm thinking about making a podfic of one of my favorite fics and I wanted to ask for a couple of tips because I adore your podfics and I have run into a couple problems very early on.

how do you do deeper voices? my voice is fairly high (I'm a soprano that can occasionally deep down into lower alto) and most of the voices in the fic are male. I also always sound about twelve in recordings lol

how do you make distinct voices? again, I have a lot of different voices (probably 5-7 that talk the most, with many many other reoccurring characters).

pacing of reading. I tend to speak/read very quick and in my practice recordings, it sounds like I'm talking much faster than I felt I was. any tips on that?

what recording programs are best? currently I'm using voice memos on my phone. which. is clearly not going to give me the best sound, regardless of the app I use, but I don't have many options.

I am living in a dorm right now and live in fear of my suite mates hearing me (my roommate not quite as much as she likes to dub and does a lot in our room--though she does it in mandarin so I cant understand it). not to mention background noise of doors opening and whatnot. if you have any tips on that as well, that would be great!

I love your podfic, you put so much soul into them, and I hope that I could do that too!

Hello fellow podfic-er! I’m so excited for you to make a podfic!

The nice thing about podfics is that I usually don’t have to create characters from scratch, they already exist in the TV show. If I’m struggling with a character, I just rewatch some clips of them talking and imitate it!

Deep voices: I, too, have a high, childish voice and struggle with deep, Manly Men. I guess the main tip I have is to...give up. What I mean is focus less on pitch and more on tone. If you speak too low, it’ll be less expressive and will probably hurt your throat. It can work for minor, 2D characters, but don’t do it for main characters that have a wide range of emotions (you may notice that my Mighty Oaks Fire Sage Zuko voice swings higher when he’s emotional oops). Instead, use your normal pitch, and make a character sound adult by using an authoritative tone. Another thing I do is play up the childish and feminine voices. We might not be able to make the adults sound adult, but we can make the kids sound extra kiddish by comparison.

Distinct voices: I’m a tactile learner, so for me, it’s all about the physicality. Every time I do Azula’s voice, I make a pinched face like I’m eating a lemon. When I record Ozai, I sneer. For Sokka, I jut out my chin and flail my arms. It looks silly, but no one is around to see. There’s lots of YouTube tutorials about how to make different voices by varying speed and tone and nasal quality, but I get kinda lost in the sauce with those theory lessons. The only way I can really get myself to do different voices is if I’m working off of a reference. I just watch videos of other cartoons and live actors and then copy them.

Pacing: Pacing is hard. I especially struggle with the editing and often end up cutting things wonkily. Audiobooks tend to be slow because you’re less likely to get tongue tied that way. If I have a big hunk of text that I find myself racing through, I slow myself down with physicality again. I’ll lean in on important words or mime out the actions. For example, on the line, “Zuko turns, grabs the bar at the side of the ship, and throws himself back over,” I'll turn my body on the word “turn,” grab an imaginary bar on the word “grab” and then lurch forward on the word “throw.” Adding in movement can bring variation to those big blocks of text.

What recording programs are best: I don’t know! I use Audacity because it’s free. Adobe Audition is great too, but it’s expensive. I am very lazy with the podfics. I don’t have a professional set-up. Basically, I make a comfortable nest of pillows in bed or my closet, use an iPhone VoiceMemos app to record straight into the phone mic, send the audio file to my computer, convert the audio to a WAV file, put it in Audacity, add a Noise Reduction effect, and then cut it down. Once I’m done editing it, I export the Audacity file as an mp3, upload it to archive.org and Spotify, and then embed those links into Ao3. Feel free to DM me if you have other tech questions. I am not particularly savvy, but we can Google it together? If any voice actors on Tumblr have professional advice, please chime in.

Silence and privacy: Background noise is a big headache for me too. I live in a noisy area with lots of planes and a squeaky elevator. I usually record now in my closet surrounded by pillows and blankets, so it’s fairly soundproof. If there’s a noise, I usually wait for the sound to stop, record the line again, then edit out the mistake in post. At the end of the day, though, sounds will slip in. It’s just a podfic; we’re doing this for fun not professionally, so it doesn’t need to be polished. I think most listeners’ attitudes is that something is better than nothing. If you’re in a school dorm, there might be music practice rooms, a radio recording booth, or empty classrooms you can use instead.

Storage: Something I didn’t realize going in was how much storage the audio clips take up. Make sure you save and delete projects as you go. One time I finished editing an Audacity project, but it wouldn’t let me save it because I ran out of storage and I had to start over.

I’m so glad you like the podfics I’ve done and that it could help inspire you to make one too! I started making podfics because I fell in love with @pixieinthesky’s fantastic Salvage podfic (it's an absolute gem). Keep the chain going!

Have fun!

#podfic #how to podfic

[tokinanpa]

what do you like about emacs?

a lot of things, really! I will refer you to the documentation for Doom Emacs for a short answer to this question that I agree with, or you can keep reading for my much, much longer answer. :)

as a software that predates modern text editors and IDEs, emacs breaks the mold when it comes to the established design patterns of these tools. in some cases this can be a problem: emacs is notoriously slow (though somehow still faster than modern IDEs on my machine lol), and its default keybindings are horrendous. but it is also emacs's greatest strength: the sheer versatility and extensability of its design is unmatched by any other tool in existence.

the first thing you need to know about emacs is that.. it's not really a text editor. I mean, that may be the mission statement on the website, and that's certainly what it was when it started out, but as it's developed it's become more than that. emacs is a software platform for text-based applications.

the entirety of emacs is designed to function as one big interpreter for the language Emacs Lisp (elisp for short). when you press a key on your keyboard in emacs, say the Enter key, that keypress is sent to emacs's standard library code written in elisp. the code looks up that key in a keymap, which associates it to a particular elisp subroutine to run (specifically "newline-and-indent"), which accesses the file you're currently editing and makes the corresponding change.

every aspect of that process is configurable directly through the elisp language. you can rebind the key to a different action, of course, but you can also edit the "newline-and-indent" subroutine to do something else, or edit any other elisp function. you can switch between multiple keymaps (a keymap is just a lisp object) on some condition, such as opening a particular file. you can even tell emacs to display text that isn't linked to any file and alter the keymap when the user is interacting with that text to contain your own custom bindings. in effect, you can create any text-based interface you want.

here is a non-exhaustive list of all of the things that I have used emacs as:

IDE

Prose editor

File manager

Calculator

Productivity tool

Email client

Calendar

Web browser

Tetris

all of these tools use, to varying degrees, the techniques I mentioned above to directly modify how emacs functions through elisp. with a little knowledge of the language, you can modify these tools to your liking just as easily as you can modify emacs itself. emacs becomes a unified interface for a hundred different applications, all of which are fully configurable and self-documenting. (yeah I didn't even mention that emacs is self-documenting within its code until now).

.. so it's not even really that I "prefer" emacs, because that framing implies that there are alternatives that are equal in scope or utility. I use emacs because it is the only thing that does what emacs does.

Emacs outshines all other editing software in approximately the same way that the noonday sun does the stars. It is not just bigger and brighter; it simply makes everything else vanish.

- Neil Stepheson, In the Beginning was the Command Line (1998)

#come on. you know i had to pull out The Quote #emacs #gnu emacs #programming #computers #tokinanpa #ask answered

[monstrousproductions]

Hi Hero! I am working on getting into voice acting and dealing with some transmasc voice dysphoria. HRT isn't an option for me, which is part of why I'm doing auditions and such for fiction podcasts to try to love my voice anyway. My question is, do you have any tips on gaining confidence in voice acting?

Thank you for everything you do with this show! I hope you have a great day.

Oh, big hug, pal! Voice dysphoria is no joke. Recording yourself and getting used to hearing your own voice back can be a brilliant way to get more comfortable with how you sound!

Remember, there's nothing wrong with your voice - it's a transmasc voice, because you're a transmasc person. Medical transition is just one way to express one's identity - it doesn't make the identity itself. You're just as transmasc as you need to be, exactly as you are 💖

I know for me, just the act of listening to my voice every week really helped me internalise the fact that this is a non-binary voice - and was a non-binary voice before I went on T, and will be a non-binary voice throughout that transition. It's got to the point where, if people misgender me because of my voice, I genuinely am like ??? where tf did you get that idea ??? can't you hear I'm extremely cool and hot and trans of gender ??? who is this "Miss Owen" of which you speak ??? 😂

Auditioning for podcasts is a brilliant idea, but remember, there's a lot of rejection involved in auditioning and it can be tough.

You might have fun practicing on your own, recording yourself reading aloud and editing it into a little audiobook. If you're into fanfiction, podficcing is a really fun way to splash around in audio and get your voice out to a supportive audience. Or, of course, you can start your own podcast!

At the same time though, it's totally alright if you just keep those recordings to yourself. It's more about exposing yourself to your own, natural voice as much as possible, and learning the ropes, from how to set up your equipment to how to use your voice to best effect.

One big thing with voice acting is that you really have to dial your performance up to 11. Your audience has no other cues to go off except your voice - they can't see your beautiful subtle facial expressions or read your simple yet eloquent body language lol It's something you really have to do yourself to understand - you can feel like you're putting SO much energy into a performance in front of the mic, and then listen back and its the flattest, saddest thing you ever heard 😅

Pay attention to other voice actors and how they work. Listen carefully to how they use their breath, where they pause, where they run words together. Don't just passively enjoy the performance - try to really pay attention to what they're doing and what effect it's having. Then you can play with those ideas in your own performance, and see what works for you.

I think that word "play" is really important, too. Animals learn through play and humans are no different! You're going to get way further, way faster if you throw yourself into a fun little project that lights you up, and treat it as something you can play with and enjoy, than if you treat it like some great, ponderous task you have to get right first time.

In short, the best way to build confidence is to hang out with your voice as much as possible. Play around with it, reading aloud in silly voices, recording voice notes for your friends, mimicking actors you admire, etc. The more you hear yourself, the more you'll understand your voice. That'll help you learn how to use it and how to make it work for you, but more importantly, it'll help you to internalise the fact that this is your voice. It's yours, and you're trans, and that means your voice is trans too. No bells or whistles needed.

#monstrous askbox

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

ROYGBIV TAG GAME

Thanks @buffythevampirelover for the tag!

Rules: find the main rainbow colors in your WIP!

Last time I think I had a lot of TSP, so this will be SOTL heavy

Okay I'll tag @illarian-rambling @mk-writes-stuff @somethingclevermahogony @elsie-writes @willtheweaver @frostedlemonwriter @spitefulbull @infinnative + anyone else who'd like to do this

Keep reading for:

Jack is nimble and quick

George is hungry

Úrsula is reading

Beau is excited

Beau is excited again

Kwasiyaa is going through the portal

Tierney is testing something

Red ❤️- from School of the Legends Year One

He closed his eyes and braced himself for the excruciating pain he was about to feel. But nothing came. Even the light from the flame no longer shone red through his eyelids. He crashed onto something soft with a grunt. He opened his eyes.

Orange 🧡 - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)

George walked over to an array of buttons on one of the walls. In a streak of orange, he pressed some of them, faster than the naked eye could have seen. Below the buttons was a small alcove, from which he pulled out a meaty sandwich that resembled a cheeseburger, but I sensed wasn't cow.

Yellow 💛 - from School of the Legends Year One

After she finished clearing off her plate, she pressed the pause button on her music. Usually, Úrsula would allow whatever was playing to finish as she awaited Mamãe to bring her whatever dessert she had made, but she had left her book on a cliffhanger. It pained her to leave the music, but at the moment, this was her priority. She leapt on her bed and picked up her book right where she had left off, not bothering to get into her usual comfortable position, as she was too excited. Immediately, she felt her surroundings disappear. She left the confines of the room she’d lived in for the past five years, and entered the world that only existed in the ink forever tattooed on the face of the binded yellowed pages.

Green 💚 - from School of the Legends

Beau shrugged. “A few months? Well, I always liked plants and had a green thumb for gardening, but yeah, I soon found out that I had a gift.” He smiled. “And I got this!” He reached into his backpack and pulled out a piece of paper, holding it out. Jill took it, holding it so Jack could see it, too.

Blue 💙 - from School of the Legends

“So we’ll be going to school together!” Beau was saying, his blue eyes sparkling. Jack was snapped out of his thoughts--not sure if he’d missed anything or not. “Now, hold on,” said Dad, “I think we should talk about this. I’m not against it, but we should at least see if Jack wants to go.”

Indigo 💜* - from The Secret Portal Part One

Almost at once, brilliant colors erupted from the ground, a bright contrast with the indigo-tinted forest. As the portal surrounded them, Kwasiyaa and Dylan’s visions were limited, as the dark world they knew as their home began to fade away against its bright, colorful light.

Violet Purple 🩷* - from School of the Legends Year One

Tierney glanced down at the duvet he was sitting on. He rubbed his hand across it, feeling the familiar static shock. He kept sliding his palm back and forth and back and forth until he heard a crackling sound. He lifted his hand, concentrating as hard as he could, until he saw a spark. He rubbed his hands together until what appeared to be a purple lightning flickered around them. He stood, holding one hand palm-up, curling his fingers inward. A sparking purple ball of electricity had formed in his palm. He laughed giddly, opening his hand slightly so the ball got bigger. His hand shook and the electricity shot upward, blasting Tierney over the bed and causing him to crash onto the floor.

*there needs to be an indigo heart so I don't have to do this

Edit: Forgot taglist because it was so SOTL heavy

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

Enjoy the two paragraphs lol but SOTL is fun too

#school of the legends #sotl #sotl excerpt #the secret portal #tsp #tsp excerpt #roygbiv #writing tag game #my writing #wip excerpt #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community #jack mcdonald #úrsula lobo #george baxter #beau bellerose #kwasiyaa mclain #tierney wayne

[k-chips]

Late ask, but just wtf is Sanremo? All I can tell it's something Catholic and has to do with a Saint, but based on the chaos I saw in your reblogs, it also isn't?? The Italian part of me needs to know, mainly because it makes sense for a festival about a Saint to be insane, seeing as many stories about them are pretty insane (read in a children's book on St. Francis of Aussi that when he accepted God's call he stripped naked and strolled out of town, while heard St. Patrick once cursed a group of people being jerks to be werewolves (he asked God to help him out and God was like "Yeah I'll grant you a solid my dude")

So, what is Sanremo??

Oh my gosh. What did you ask. You opened Hell.

(Sorry, this is a bit long but it's funny af)

Nono it's not something Catholic, it's called Sanremo because it takes place in Sanremo, a city in Liguria.

Sanremo it's the "Festival of the italian song" (people can only sing in Italian, that's one of the rules)

[[Before this edition of Sanremo started I found a very cool, funny and useful guide for non italians that explained what is Sanremo and how it works, you can find it here]]

[[since that's for last year, here's also the thread for this year edition, just to see what changed]]

But, basically, it's a musical competition where we decide who's gonna represent Italy in Eurovision. Sanremo is way older than Eurovision toh, at first it was just a competition on its own but then they decided to use it for Eurovision too.

The reason why it looks so chaotic it's because IT IS CHAOTIC XD at least it has been for the past 4 years, it became so much fun to watch. So many funny things happened.

We once had this guy, Morgan, who changed his lyric to insult the guy who was gonna sing with him, Bugo. And this poor guy just straight up left the stage and DISAPPEARED for the rest of the night 💀

This was the host's reaction

(I love this guy lol he's so funny)

Or every time someone does something very homoerotic on stage, just because. Especially the two hosts we had for the past 3 years, the ones in the pic above. (we ship them so much. FOR FUN, shipping real people is gross)

Here they were dancing... :'D

Here with some cool wigs

They're so silly lol

OK I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH AHAH

There are a lot of other things, some scandals here and there (mostly right wing italians being scandalized), cool songs, a bit of sexism (we're working on it), some good feminism and LGBT+ and some more funny moments, like the host (the guy with the blonde wig) that this year started using Instagram to be "Less boomer" and was doing live streams during the festival (hilariously and adorably cringe) but I don't want to bore you ahah

Anyway, the links I left here are very funny threads on Twitter if you want to read something faster and more funny

(SORRY FOR MY BAD ENGLISH. I was on the train and to walk home so I didn't have time to check everything I wrote)

#sanremo 2023 #Sanremo #italian stuff #amadeus #fiorello #chiara ferragni #gianni morandi #maneskin #ask

[stormoflina]

i like dom, he is a sweetheart, but its true he didnt deliever what he was signed for. after hendo we wanted a midfielder who can score goals, who will have g/a. sadly, dom is not that guy. im not blaming him, neither is ale, although he is being played out of position

----------------------------------------

this type of comments give me the ick so bad hahaha when it refers to players that are new to a league like Domi. he is new to a completely different league with a team that has certain plans and strategies that he needs to adapt to, just like every other player lmao.

yeah, some players adapt faster than others, but i think that's what happens literally everywhere: some adapt faster to new environments than others lolol.

Mac Allister had been playing in the premier prior to getting to Liverpool yeah, but it's still a new team with new everything lol. he is slowly finding himself within the team's system and we can see that.

i think we cannot speak so surely about a player's performance so early on unless they have been complete and utter shit and have not delivered anything at all, those types of "failed" signings are very easy to spot early on. but yeah, at least give them a year and, in Domi's case, wait for him to come back from his injury too omg. i think even Mo has talked about how Domi is new to all of this and that he is still young so he has a lot to learn still and ppl should not put so much pressure on him.

yeah, ppl hyped him up a lot (even the media, because... its the media) and he might have leaned into that hype if that makes sense, but wouldn't you do it too? i would also feel like im on top of the world and use this hype to get more confident. but the pressure is bound to get too much esp. with someone new to the league.

so sorry for the long rant omg, ive been thinking about this for a while. i hope it all makes sense, im not a native english speaker.

i just want to finish off by saying: give him (them) time and let's give constructive criticism i beg (this is not for anon omg this is in general cause a lot of people love to talk shit instead of trying to help lmao)

Hi anon!

Don't you apologize for the rant, I really enjoyed reading it, especially because I wholeheartedly agree and couldn't have said it better myself! And as a non-native speaker I wouldn't have guessed that English isn't your first language if you don't mention it!

Essentially, I think Domi is a victim of his own early success. He literally hit the ground running and even that doesn't express fully how quickly he got so popular. It feels like a lifetime ago, but I remember how he got POTM for August, or his jersey sold the most at the start of the season. I even remember that like two months into the season there was some stupid 'who's your favourite lfc player' poll on twt and he got first place (??) and there was a complete meltdown over that lool.

So, for the first few months, he was everywhere, in the media, on social media, constantly praised, edited next to Stevie G, it was a LOT. Everyone was definitely doing too much, so when the inevitable happened and realism kicked in, some were quick to be loud with their criticism. Just like they say, the higher you get, the worse the fall will be. In my opinion, that's what happened.

I also feel like that because of his great start, people just completely forgot his original situation - that he's young, from a slower, less physically demanding league, with winter breaks, less game time, playing a completely new role, moving to a whole other country alone, knowing absolutely nobody etc, etc. Sure, everyone of our new signings got their fair share of criticism, but I do feel like there was also a level of patience with them, something that was/is a bit of lacking with Dominik. Endo and Grav were able to get slowly used to the Prem, getting their minutes managed, Dominik didn't. He was playing essentially the role of two players multiple times with all the red cards flying around in the first months and I say this comfortably, that many games were won thanks to his efforts.

This is how a team works, where players are fighting for each other and not just their own egos. He stepped up when Endo and Grav couldn't because of their fitness and when CuJo and Macca were sent off (..) or injured. And now, the others are doing the same thing. It's just recency bias that has people forming sometimes rather harsh opinions, I think.

GOSH, I do suffer from a very serious yapping disease. I could write literal essays on topics like this lol.

#dominik szoboszlai

[starlightkun]

genuine question, how do you write so fast? 😭 i feel like you’re so quick with your works, both writing and putting them out!!

also i found your tumblr on ao3 and i have to say that you are carrying nct fics on ao3. i hope you never stop writing cause i could be 40 and i would still read your stuff 🫶

i think a big thing has been getting out of my head abt writing! like i only write when i want to, i don't stick to word counts (minimums or maximums), and i dont compare myself to other writers (not that i read a whole lot of fic anymore, but there's a few that i still keep up with and one of them churns out fics way faster than i do, and another who posts like maybe two or three times a year but i still love them!) like i've def said this before, but for me, writing fic is fun, it's something i do bc i want to and if i open a word doc and i'm genuinely dreading it, i'm not gonna do it (my adhd brain simply will not make me lol--tho that is a double edged sword bc i do have to chase myself into doing something i like sometimes, but the ritalin has helped a lot xx)

i also dont go into my fics completely clueless anymore. like, i for sure don't know everything, i learn a lot along the way, and tend to change stuff (and get surprised by my own fics, which is always fun!), but i definitely have more of an outline and general sort of sketch of the fic in my brain and in my word doc before i start actually writing real scenes of any sort, which has definitely helped. like, starting with one little idea isn't bad at all (strawberry sunday literally just started w the fact that i liked the title of a song that i hadn't even heard yet and it turned into like 10 fics??), but i dont just start writing head empty anymore (i used to get a tiny spark of inspiration and try to write everything start to finish immediately because i thought i'd lose it if i didn't, and it'd burn really short. now i sort of just sit with it and slowly tend to it like fire instead and it lasts a lot longer and gets a lot bigger). i ruminate a lot before anything that looks remotely like a story leaves my ideas doc and gets its own doc

idk if this necessarily makes me write faster, but i also edit as i write? like, sometimes i open a fic and i don't have anything in me to write, but i'll reread what's in the draft so far and edit, make little changes, fix continuity errors, etc. not only does it keep the whole plot so far fresh in my mind as i continue writing, but then i have a lot less to proof myself when i finally finish the whole thing because i've already caught a lot of spelling, grammatical, and plot errors! i used to find editing a slog to do bc when i finished my first draft i would be so excited and wanted to just post it! and didn't want to reread all this stuff i just wrote several times to try to find typos, and now it's usually a breeze bc my first draft isn't really my first draft, it's been continually revised as it was drafted. and sometimes i open a doc, won't feel like writing, tinker around with some editing, then suddenly have a lightbulb moment while i'm editing and jump into writing

#its been soooo mindset and not fighting how my own brain works for me lol #like this is not my job its supposed to be fun and if its not then i simply will not do it #and i really look forward to coming home and writing fic #i think getting out of academia has helped bc this is what can scratch that itch for me now without burning me out lol #<<< former english major #answered #anonymous #talk #text #mine #fb #writing tag

[twstfournights]

It's Back To Work!

Thanks to everyone who wished me well on my health break, and for those who sent me asks throughout recovery and kept the hearth burning. But I'm now back to working on the game, however, I've got a few updates.

There's been a changing of the guard, and we've restructured a few roles to help keep things balanced. For one, we lost an editor, but gained a new one who will do edits in big chunks as his schedule allows. I also let go of doing CGs and handed it off to Rem/Ciel, who has been the biggest advocate for me to stop trying to do everything by myself lol. It's a huge load off my shoulders, and will ensure that the prologue comes out much faster now that he will handle the CGs and I can focus on the last few sprites needed for it.

Xing has been incredibly hard at work doing the backgrounds, and has gotten at least working colored sketches for all prologue areas, so I don't feel bad about releasing a beta without color (oh what a cruel colorless world we could of lived in if they hadn't saved us.)

And most importantly, the script for the prologue is far past its halfway mark. I'm always going back and editing it even on my days off, and it's really starting to shine as we're about to do day 5 content. It's my favorite to work on and program in, especially on days where drawing just ain't working. The art ain't artworking you know? Especially with our all important Mysterious Stranger and his very important CG that I absolutely want y'all to see.

Now there is one last thing I want to update y'all on, for any who may be interested in why progress has been so stop and go for me, and why I am afflicted with AO3 writer's curse. And a follow-up to my last health post. It'll be under a read more, so if you've had your fill, I'll see you next time, but for those who want the info, it's below the cut.

Thanks for following development!

So. My Health. When last we left off I had been told it was absolutely and utterly not POTs and I was getting mixed signals on what was going on with my heart as well. But the consensus was that my heart was just dandy and I was being silly.

Turns out both were wrong.

I have POTs, I scored every single symptom except the racing heart, because mine instead drops. And it drops hard. (we're talking the low 20's) Turns out my poor weak heart is failing on me, but not showing the chemical signs, so all I can really do is try to improve my cardiovascular health and pray it doesn't give out on me. It's not a good diagnosis, it isn't a good time, and I'm certainly not happy. I've been told to write my will it's gotten so serious. BUT on the upside, I am stubborn as all hell. So even if my heart is literally attempting to give out on me, I'm gonna keep doing my silly little passion project anyways.

FN is the biggest project I've ever worked on, and though its proven to be a lot more work than I expected, and a true tester of my patience. I want to finish it. I will finish it. God cannot stop me. He's trying. I've been in and out of the hospital since my last update, and was in it just as recently as two weeks ago. It is trying. But I will not give in. If I perish let it be known that I was god's most stubborn soldier.

Don't worry for me, worry for my poor heart that can't keep up with my burning spirit. It isn't strong enough to keep me down. I actually worked on the script on my phone in the hospital. It cannot drag me down fast enough. Take that god.

#twstfournights #twst fangame #twisted wonderland

[snickerdoodlles]

buckle up butter cup, i have QUESTIONS: 1, 2, 3 (👀), 11, 12, 15, 17 (👀), 22, 24, 32, 38, 40

I'll take your essay in MLA format plz <3

ah shit, i forgot my citations 😭

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

my current default is Libre Franklin! i actually cycle through fonts a lot? i like the editing trick of changing your font to help catch errors and clunky writing, and sometimes i'll switch the font of my doc if i'm feeling particularly stuck while i'm writing. idk how many people know this, but you can change the default font/formatting/color of google docs, and i do it constantly 😂

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I write by hand a lot actually! I went through 2.5 notebooks alone last year iirc. I always write in pen -- writing by hand helps me gets ideas out of my head faster, and part of that is that i can't undo/backspace what i write. i just gotta move on. and since i'll have to rewrite it anyways when i type it up, writing by hand really helps me get that first rough draft mess out. it also helps me discard the really crap ideas from that first draft -- sometimes the typed doc that it distills into is completely different than what's on paper, and we're all grateful for it.

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

WRITING IN FRIENDS DMS!!!! nothing gets my ideas flowing better than a friend to bounce them around with, and nothing helps me solidify and distill ideas like needing to explain them to someone. i am so bad about sending friends multiple screens worth of written scenes in their DMs (i am very fortunate to have friends who let me do this). this ritual is cursed because my preferred DM platform is tumblr, and i actually rarely remember to save these writings to something more permanent like a doc (pour one out for the many, many, MANY writings lost in DMs <3)

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

*stares at writing notebook* *stares at lost DM fics* kill your darlings

real answer lol: if there's something i really like, i can usually find a way to bring it back into a WIP. i'm really good at that sort of adaptive thinking, but part of why i'm good at that is because i am a ruthless darling killer. all of my editing is very much focused on how all the pieces of a story work in harmony to each other and if something doesn't fit within that, that's not the story for it. but sometimes the reason why a thing doesn't work in the story is because its in the wrong place and since I have no issue removing things that don't work, it's a lot easier to find a better place for it if you're not fixated on keeping it in a specific spot. and for any darling that never makes its way back to its home story, it goes into my mental compost heap to possibly seed into something new for a future story.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

fool proof way to write in the shower, perfect recall when im trying to remember a story idea i laid out in DMs, the perfect cure to my adhd executive dysfunction.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

i'm an avid annotator but only for like...general knowledge? all of my textbooks, reference book, and journal articles/papers are littered with annotations and other marginalia (this is partially why i have so many colored ink ballpoint pens actually 😂). there was a hot minute where i tried to do this for general story/poetry books, but...ehh???? i never quite got into that because usually i just lose myself in the story and my external thoughts come out better in friend DMs or post tags ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

as for the others-- dog ear, no, i don't like the look of bent pages. plus i have a loooot of bookmarks i'm still not using because they're one of those Cheap Art Merch things lol. i absolutely read in the bath (if i take a bath, because ya girl gets BORED), but usually im grabbing one of my travel edition books jic something happens to it, anything electronic i hold over the edge so it won't fall in.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

will respond in a separate post so i can be extra annoying!! lmk if there's a specific WIP you're hoping to hear about XD

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

hrmmhmMm define organized?

zero organization to notebooks. those are for Throwing Up Ideas, organization would give me writer's block or anxiety. similar for anything that winds up in my phone notes -- even if i could organize them better, i probably wouldn't? they're kinda like a part 2 to the writing notebook for me jotting down ideas, esp stuff that i don't think will become proper stories. proper stories are on google drive because i don't have a better option. fics there are separated by fandom. series and multi-chapter fics get their own folders, individual stories stay out in the general folder. i also have a folder for posted/finished one-shots and a compost folder for discarded story ideas to help keep the clutter down

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

...how much does friend DM yelling count? i love plotting out stories in friend DMs, it's one of my favorite things to do, but i don't like. force myself to stick with anything either. i don't like rigorous story outlines, i prefer a more organic and flexible approach to writing stories. the best i can manage for a story outline is a general bullet list of story points i hope to hit. i like research a lot (wikipedia rabbit holes my beloved <3), but i don't usually worry about going too in-depth for it. it's really good fuel for story ideas and the brainstorming process, but like. i write fic. i care a lot about being sensitive and careful with other people's cultures and histories, but otherwise i don't fret the details and minute because my goal here is to share silly stories.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

this is really hard for me because i never read stories as individual lines. that said, i was thinking earlier of that poem (poem line?) "a hand has five fingers. five fingers and five thousand wants." because talk about kim-core, but i don't remember what its from and google isn't helping.

that said, hope y'all are ready for me to reblog this and this 583478 times when we finally hit proper hogswatch season <333

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

..........i had an answer in mind when i first saw this question, but i just forgot everything now that i'm here (am i even a writer?? surely not.)

maybe this will come back to me later.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

you get "the more loving one" by wh auden because i am ALWAYS thinking of this poem. #predictable

[[ writer asks ]]

#thank you! <3 #also: welcome to the world of RamblesTM

[susanvstorm]

i have decided i will be rambling on here, which is nice because it's kinda like yelling into nothing given no one reads this... but i was thinking about winx club my beloved and about how it never made sense to me that no one would recognize bloom. so in my improved and hced winx club universe, time moves a lot faster in the magic dimension than it does on earth. like 1 year on earth is 1000 in the magic dimension.

which means, with bloom being 16, it had been 16,000 years since the destruction of domino (or spark, but idk the name of stuff in english), which is how daphne came to be a legend, and how no one figured she was, in fact, the lost princess.

and i also like the idea that this means a year in alfea for bloom is like... a week to her parents or something, so they only relatively miss her.

edit: yes, this makes faragonda like 50.000 years old and i am DOWN for this. ig she figures out who bloom is kind of early-ish but keeps it for herself because ? she has to do ancient fairy stuff things. mysterious for no reason. that, or she doesn't remember exactly/know what happened on domino (same for every member of the... group that faced the three witches? what do u call it in english lol) because she's too old and too much time has passed and stuff turned to legends. tho i wanna say it's kind of well known that daphne used to be the princess of domino and that she fell in the battle, but no one knows exactly how. i like the idea of domino being a legend with like lots of lore but no one knows exactly what happened

#winx club #winx aisha #winx tecna #winx musa #winx bloom #winx stella #winx roxy #winx rewrite #winx hcs #ramble #this show was my childhood i will never let it go #also yes i will be using the name aisha

[fallynleaf]

(I typed this up for my Japanese study log lol but it was so funny to me, I figured I'd also share it here)

Okay, so...

I was looking at my Japanese study Notion library page and kind of wanted to clear out a slot for Dungeon Meshi, since I wanted to be able to track my progress with the chapter count. I’d had 女装してめんどくさい事になってるネクラとヤンキーの両片想い ("Crossplay Love: Otaku x Punk" in English) volume 3 in there since literally the day I created that page, I think. I had sort of given up on it last year because it was too hard for me to read at the time for what my level of investment was in the story, plus I got sort of busy with the translations and ran out of time/energy for manga reading projects, so I’d basically shelved that book for the time being.

I had gotten like halfway through the volume already, though, so I thought why not just read the rest of it so that I can move it out of my currently reading section? So I started reading it again and abruptly realized that I didn’t super remember a lot of the details in the story. At the time when I had started reading it, volumes 1 & 2 had been translated into English, but 3 hadn’t been translated yet, hence why I had picked it up in Japanese. Fortunately for me, though, the English translation has gotten a lot further now!

So what I did was speed-read up to the chapter I left off in English, then I finished the volume in Japanese. Hooray! I could remove it from my currently reading section!! 🎉

Except… after finishing volume 3, I wanted to know what happened next, so I just kept reading (in English) and quickly finished volume 4, then 5, 6, 7…

(You can probably guess where this is going.)

I reached the end of volume 7 and was like “aw man, I want to know what happens next, but I’m not sure if I care enough about this series to take the time to read it in Japanese… I’d rather just wait and read the English translation of this one and spend my energy on things like Dungeon Meshi instead.”

But I have spectacularly poor impulse control when it comes to this sort of thing, so just like what compelled me to buy volume 3 in the first place, of course I ended up caving immediately and buying volume 8 in Japanese, and I ended up back in the exact situation I had tried to resolve in the first place, with the series still technically on my currently reading list… 😩

Thankfully, my Japanese is better now than it was a year ago, and I can read manga way faster now, so I ended up sort of, uh, inhaling the series, or at least reading it about as fast as it was humanly possible for me to read it. In English, I can easily tear through a volume of manga in under half an hour. In Japanese, it probably takes me like 10x that.

I was on a bit of a deadline because I’m trying to stay super caught up on the TJPW translations to the best of my ability, so I had a narrow window between finishing the previous translation (for the last VOD show after the VOD went up on Wrestle Universe) and getting started on the next translation (which is for another VOD show, so I usually wait until the show gets uploaded before I start translating it, which is usually three days after the show happened).

I finished my first draft of the 2.17 show translation on Tuesday, February 20 (the day I watched the VOD), got my questions posted by early Thursday, and got it edited and published by early Friday, which was the date of the next show (with a 3-day timer after that until the VOD goes up and I need to drop everything else to translate).

So I had roughly a 5-ish day window with essentially no translation workload. I read a chapter of Dungeon Meshi, then finished 女装してめんどくさい事になってるネクラとヤンキーの両片想い volume 3, then ended up reading volumes 8-12 in Japanese basically as fast as I could because I was invested in the series and I also really didn’t want to have to stop reading to work on my translations (the surprise 2.26 press conference from TJPW happened fortuitously at the end of this period). In total, I think I finished five volumes in about four days.

…And the huge reveal that I’ve been waiting for the entire series, which is the main reason why I felt compelled to read on, still hasn’t happened 😩. Never start reading a slowburn romance when the story is still in progress… 😔

I saw at the back of the manga that the series apparently updates on the fourth Monday of every month, so I ended up finding it on pixiv, and I got there just in time for chapter 107’s release (volume 12 ends with chapter 105, so there are two new chapters available on pixiv), so I’ve now read literally every chapter currently available.

I’m in the same boat as the Japanese fans now, I suppose! Waiting a whole month to get drip fed a little bit more of the story at a time… It brings me back to my days of following webcomics as they were happening, which I was never very good at, so we’ll see if I fare better reading serialized manga.

I guess to review 女装してめんどくさい事になってるネクラとヤンキーの両片想い, difficulty-wise, I found it honestly harder than Dungeon Meshi, because even though it takes place at a high school and theoretically has more normal vocab, like every single character in the story talks weird in way that is totally different from how the other characters talk weird, and there’s far more slang and stuff written out in a way that isn’t super parseable by Yomichan (which I'm able to use on the book thanks to Mokuro). So my lookup tools didn’t account for my weaknesses nearly as well as they did with Dungeon Meshi.

I can see why I dropped it last year, because I lacked some of the grammar back then that I understand a lot better now. It’s the kind of story that is best enjoyed as easy reading, so once you take away the ease of reading, I think it’s hard to push through the difficulty in order to keep going.

Reviewing the story purely in terms of enjoyability, well, obviously I did enjoy it, haha! It’s a very unique story and it went to some surprising places in terms of the themes and story developments, considering the fact that most of the plot revolves around what I can only describe as Shakespearean comedy levels of ridiculous crossdressing drama.

The main point of interest to me was the LGBTQ themes, and I would say that it honestly surpassed my expectations there. We’re not at a point where “these characters are trans” is part of the explicit text of the story (and it might never go there), but the main relationship is gay no matter how you slice it, haha, and there’s another major character whose story reads as very much a trans narrative, and there’s a canonical lesbian couple as well.

Something I really appreciate about it is that interactions with those characters are some of the major driving forces in the relationship between the two main characters. Like, there’s a sense of commonality and shared experience between them and those other characters, and sometimes a sense of alienation and yearning at what the others have, which the main characters feel that they’ll never get to experience because they’re trapped in a situation where they can’t be their authentic selves.

A friend asked me how yuri it is, and honestly I'd say very? I don't think it bills itself as either GL or BL (and people who read exclusively either would probably both be unsatisfied with it). But to me, the core relationship and the conflicts that the characters increasingly grapple with as the story goes on feels more like the kind of thing you’d see in yuri. There’s a whole lot of yearning.

I was amused by this panel from volume 8 because there’s some slang in there and a few non-WaniKani/non-textbook words, but I’d learned literally all four of the new words from translating TJPW, including the one with a non-WK kanji in it (and two of the words were tricky translations so I remember them pretty clearly haha), so I was able to instantly read this panel without needing lookups:

If I'd timed it a bit better and waited for a 50% coinback sale on Bookwalker, I could've gotten a great deal on it lol but I was too impatient to wait fdjkghdfjkg. At least the Japanese edition is way cheaper than the English one...

#i'm currently writing a fic for it that will be incredibly annoying to 99% of the people visiting the AO3 tag because it's for the jp manga #so it's based on a bunch of canon that most of my potential readers don't have access to yet and won't for many more months 💀 #barring a fan translation project appearing out of nowhere i guess. but that feels unlikely lol #Crossplay Love #~