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youabandonedthem · 4 months

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spades slick's possible reactions after sexual assault - short response to nonnie

here is a basic hypothesis on the matter: For spades slick it's easy to say one thing or that he'd react one way to a certain concept, perhaps in ways that are traditionally understood as 'grief' or 'trauma' responses. But this concept is broader than most and the label of the topic isn't truly important regarding the way he internalises his own experience. he likely wouldnt even be able to accept a labelling of events as "sexual assault" and would merely describe and process events 1:1 to the way they occurred in his world.

therefore it would matter above anything else the exact events that transpired and how he interpreted them and to what level he was affected by each event. Even as he displays an animalistic mindset that entails not thinking much about anything and mostly only taking actions his mind will process things with varying levels of consciousness and his behaviour will change afterwards.

So with a description of a few specific events we can go into his interpretations of these events and find out the ways he would behave as a result. since it happened to him as a middle aged adult his worldview shouldnt drastically change and he would understand the event as it fits into his existent world view. Let' s take a look

Scenario A: Assaulted by unknown male Scenario B: Assaulted by unknown female Scenario C: Snowman abuses him sexually Scenario D: Droog abuses him sexually

his takeaway from each event would highly depend on the perp. AB are random events perpetrated by randos. CD are assumed to be long term and from 'trusted' beings. In order for anyone to physically overocme him long enough for assault/rape to happen there would need to be a few conditions - they take advantage of his disabilities to surprise him and/or multiple people are involved. hed probably be drunk or something walking alone at night so his defences would be variably weakened. Anyone could see the eyepatch indicating that he's blind on one side and take advantage of it no matter how much he's adjusted himself to keeping alert with one eye. However, after being attacked, and after some struggle, he would EVENTUALLY find a way to wiggle out of the situation (He is crafty) and get away and possibly kill most poeple involved. these are the parameters of the circumstances of the situation and how he will escape. No need to graphically describe how it happens. The second general point is a bit obvious but those circumstances in which any perps got the jump on him would be noted, however, he is unaware of the extent to which he adjusts his behaviour. If they took advantage of his blind side he would feel acutely frustrated at having to acknowledge he's lacking in that area (see disability house MD nonacknowledgement paragraphs) but becomes hugely more vigilant/paranoid to make up for it.and the same for anything else. Not much needs to be said

If a woman does it - he has no capability of understanding this as rape. it's different from snowmans treatment becaues other women are random, fragile dames that are dependent but Snowman is understood to be on a higher level in all ways. if a dame managed to do this to him he'd simply be confused, and any parameters that allowed her to take advantage of him would be noted, but in terms of assault he wouldnt truly care. this is the scenario that would mentally impact him the least because he makes it out as some woman having had sex with him even though there was likely some violent element to it. He counts it as a lay

If a man does it - highest possible impact. He knows he has been sodomised. on one hand this is somewhat like any other kind of violence that could have occurred, and he would never take a random event like this personally. he primarily blames the demographic that he perceives to be hte kind to do this, rather than seeking a higher 'reason' for it to have happened (he's not introspective enough to be capable of self blame). He exclusively thinks of the perps as "faggots" and if they're part of any other societal group (homeless) he would include that in his insults as well. therefore his highest takeaway involves what he felt during the encounter. If he were touched even against his will he would have become aroused as a purely physical reaction. but he interprets this reaction as having been "into" the event, and fixates on what this means. he quickly forms the conclusion that he must be secretly gay in some way, and that he's now a "faggot" like those men, which is a heavier thought to him than the fact the sodomisation happened at all. his new defensiveness over anything implying that hes into men/likes what men do to him would be more of a giveaway that something happened rather than any other response hed have. shortly afterwards he may also try to combat his new conclusion by finding a woman to sleep with. however since he does this a few days after the incident the sexual touch only makes him think of it again and he has an extremely poor reaction. He interprets this as having had "male fantasies" during hetero sex and takes it to mean that the woman herself was repulsive to him .

continuation of this world - if it occurred in an existent world where droog has been macking on him and casually acting perverse towards him . Rather than suddenly becoming extremely sensitive over droog's advances like one might think, he may actually turn the opposite way and become more passive towards the advances because he conceptually thinks he "likes" it now, when before the event he would react with disgust/rage since he thinks droog is a homosexual. now he's no better. However all of these discomforts would slowly build up to a huge, deep disturbance witihn slick, who doesn't have the tools to understand and identify the source. He would probably just take it out through more extreme violence towards civilians/people he dislikes.

When it comes to both scenarios C&D they are more of long term 'disturbances' that could potentially cause shifts in his worldview due to his mind having to acclimate to the circumstances. in addition to this it's plausible that snowman has ALREADY perpetrated this towards him more than a few times since that's just what they do... it could be said he would put up with any level of abuse from snowman and may also see an act of this nature as more shitty sex. no one in his life would have anything to add to the matter either because everyone knows what he has going on with her. To be honest i don't remember whatever i was planning to explain about the droog story but slick's mentality within the hypothetical circumstance along with their existent relationship can be extrapolated easily.

But yea Just a few quick thoughts

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duckielover151 · 1 month

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OPLA and Garp and Worldbuilding

Okay. I think I've finally figured it out.

I've seen some polarizing takes on Monkey D. Garp's character in the live action adaptation of One Piece. I generally like how they brought his character to life, but there was something that wasn't quite sitting right with me. It just took me a bit to pinpoint exactly what the problem was.

So for one: I do like his live action portrayal. The live action series remains goofy and faithful to the original in a lot of ways but does give everything a bit of a grittier feel, as would be expected-- and is almost required-- of a live action story about pirates. When you're seeing real people in front of you, as opposed to cartoonish drawings, your tale kind has to reflect the real world and its darkness.

Garp's character in the live action absolutely feels... not dumbed down, but simplified from who his character is in the original tale.

And I think that was necessary. The biggest change from one medium to the other was the pacing. The live action just could not have been done with the anime's pacing, (though there's honestly very little that was missed, even with how much faster the story moved). And the pace of your storytelling really affects how your characters get developed.

So yeah, live action Garp comes across as just the tiniest bit unstable... (he's still got a bit of a wild side) but mostly in control. And a lot more proactive about his goals.

The most important thing is that I think this storyline about him chasing around after his rebellious grandson... just to give him one final test before setting him free, accepting that he's ready to handle the dangerous life he's been dreaming of-- even if it will pit them against each other more seriously in the future!-- is just more accessible to an audience used to live action storytelling. It kind of makes sense. Quite a lot of the time, anime Garp's actions and choices regarding his family... just don't make a ton of sense. And the live action does not have time to explore that complexity properly. (Hell, the anime doesn't even always do the best job of exploring it in a way that justifies his actions and beliefs, but that's a tale for another time.)

But there's still a problem.

Garp's actions in this adaptation are fine for his character... but really bad for the worldbuilding.

One of the only real complaints I have about the One Piece live action is that they do not succeed in getting across just how corrupt the world government is truly supposed to be.

And a lot of that is because of Garp, following around and cleaning up after our heroes and acting like a responsible adult for once. (That alone is enough for some people to-- honestly, rightfully-- cry that live action Garp is out of character.)

Garp shows up and reforms Morgan's base in both versions... But the live action never really addresses how much of a tyrant Morgan was. That his own marines and even the people of the town, who he was supposed to be keeping safe, were terrified of him. Garp's derision and treatment of Morgan in the live action honestly seem a little unjustified. And it's even worse that he stepped in with Nezumi. Don't get me wrong, it was fantastic to see Nezumi put in his place... But that satisfaction was brief.

Live action-only viewers will never truly understand just how hopeless the situation in Coco village was. That Nezumi was the last line of authority. Their only hope for salvation and justice, and he was all too happy to accept Arlong's bribes and let the villagers suffer.

I recently watched the Honest Trailer for this series. And it was reliably entertaining... but you could tell the crew who made it was missing some key context for understanding the vision behind this show. They make fun of Luffy for not understanding what it really means to be a pirate. And it's not a terrible joke. They're kind of right. But I think what's missing from this adaptation is the understanding that the appeal of being a pirate isn't just the potential for riches. It's about freedom. It's about being strong enough and being in a position to protect yourself when even the people tasked with keeping you safe are all too happy to take advantage of you. It's that siding with the law in this universe is often the choice that makes you the bad guy. Honestly, Koby's got a harder path to walk, as far as morality goes, than Luffy-- or any of the pirates who live honorably.

But I try to remind myself that this is just the tip of the iceberg...

Nami's backstory is what a lot of people tend to pinpoint as the place where the anime starts to get really good. And I think that's because it's where the deal with this world starts to become really clear.

That yeah, it's totally reasonable to root for a group that would normally be the villains in any other story. The civilized half of this world really is that fucked up.

I don't feel like that point really hits its undeniable, no-going-back mark until we get to Robin's backstory and the tale of Ohara... And I cannot tell you how much I hope this adaptation gets to get there.

It's okay that the live action hasn't properly established a tale where an everyday person is going to want to root for the anarchists in this story, because the anime was barely there at this point also.

There is still time to redeem this.

#opla #one piece #monkey d. garp #worldbuilding

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outsideratheart · 2 years

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53 + patri please

A/N: At what point does a ficlet become a fic? I’m asking for a friend😂

53 “How do we get out?”

The back and forth between you and Parti was becoming unbearable. At first the team thought it was cute, the way you two would blatantly flirt with each other but never follow up, you were inseparable during training, team bonding nights and you would always room together on away days.

Everything changed when you found out that Patri had starting seeing someone and from the way she talked about her it was serious. Was you upset that she was dating, no. Was you mad that she had replaced you, no. The thing that bothered you the most is that you had to find out from Leila. It turns out you was the last player on the team to be told about Patri's change of relationship status. She didn't think you important enough to tell you face to face, it was like a punch to the gut. Your movies nights became non existent and you found yourself trying the new coffee shops alone.

Since that day you avoided Patri whenever possible. You were hurting, both because of her actions and yours but you wanted to protect yourself and if that meant moving on from Patri then so be it, only it wasn't that simple. You tried dating but every woman that you went out with failed in comparison to your best friend.

Your unhappiness became contagious considering you were one of the clowns of the locker room. What's the saying, misery loves company.

A couple of months later you learned that Patri had broken up with her girlfriend and as if nothing happened, she tried to be your best friend again only now you had no interest. The damage had been done and you didn't care for Patri's efforts.

The team had hoped that you and Patri would fix things but when it was made clear to them that this wasn't happening, they decided to take things into their own hands.

"Y/N!" Jenni shouts of you, the urgency in her voice worries you.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It's Alexia, she took a knock after you left. She is in with the medics now but she won't talk to anyone"

"How bad is it? She has only just been cleared, she can't be hurt again"

Jenni eagerly pulls you in the direction of the physio's room. The panic you feel only increases the closer you get.

You open the door ready to be there for your best friend.

"Ale" you shout out but get no response.

You hear the door close and then lock behind you. What is going on?

"Y/N what are you doing here? Are you ok, did you get hurt?" Patri sits on the treatment table as if waiting for you to arrive.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" you mumble to yourself when you realise what is happening.

"Guys! I don't find this funny in the slightest. I suggest you open this door before I kick it down"

"You two need to talk" you recognise your captain's voice.

"You're in on this? Do you know what Jenni said to get me in here?" you ask Alexia.

Unbeknownst to you, on the other side of the door Alexia gives Jenni a disapproving look.

"She told me that you hurt yourself. You know how that makes me feel, I had flashbacks to the euros" your hands start to shake at the memories, you breathing increases rapidly.

You close your eyes, trying to get your emotions under control.

"Breathe Y/N" Patri tries to hold you but it only makes you madder.

"You don't get to touch me. We're not like that anymore" you shrug her off.

"Jenni shouldn't have told you that. I am ok but you're not, you haven't been for a while and we all know why. You two need to fix this"

"I didn't do anything wrong" you are quick to respond.

"And I did?" Patri asks clearly oblivious to the consequences her actions have made.

"Yes" You snap back.

Patri is at a lost for words. She never wanted to hurt you.

“How do we get out?”

"I —"

"I wasn't talking to you" again you snap at the girl you once called your best friend "I'm talking to masterminds behind this ridiculous plan"

"You need to be honest with each other. Y/N you have told me how you feel, now you need to tell Patri" Alexia says from the other side of the door.

You shake your head angrily, how could Alexia just out you like that. You had confided in her in your time of need and now she is all but telling the one person you never want to talk to about this.

"What is she talking about?" Patri asks you.

"I can't do this, Ale let me out here please" at this point tears are brimming your eyes.

"What did I do?" Patri asks from the opposite side of the room.

"You left me" you admit defeat as you sink the floor.

"When?" her naivety is both adorable and incredibly frustrating.

"When you chose her" you are honest, there is no point in lying "You discarded me like I was nothing to you"

"Oh Y/N" Patri gets up and sits near you "You were my everything, that is why I did what I did. I couldn't be around you and not have you, not the way I wanted to at least"

When Patri sits down you realise that this is the closest you have been in months. You can see the speckles in her eyes and can smell her perfume.

"I thought that if I starting dating someone then I would be able to move on"

"Move on from what?"

Patri was speaking but you didn't understand what she was saying.

"From you, but it soon became apparent that she couldn't compare to you, I don't think anyone will. For years you have been my person, in every situation but then I found myself wanting more"

"Why didn't you tell me? If you had —"

"If I did then I would lose you as my best friend"

"You lost me anyways"

"I know"

"I really wish you would have me P"

Patri's eyes light up at hearing her nickname, you hadn't called her that in months.

"I would have said that I wanted more too" you admit your true feelings.

"You would?" Patri asks in disbelief and you nod your head.

"I'm so stupid" the midfielder buries her head in her hands.

"The stupidest" you say teasingly earning a playful shove "I guess I have been stupid too"

"What do we do now?"

"There's a new cafe opened in Barceloneta. Would you like to go?"

"Would it be a date?"

"Yes" you say, the uncertainty in your tone making it sound more like a question.

"Then I would love to" Patri says with a huge grin on her face.

#ficlet #prompt request #woso x reader #Patri guijarro x reader #espwnt x reader #barcelona femeni x reader

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this-daydream-is-dangerous-13 · 9 months

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Fool’s Gold — Lyrical Analysis

I’ve recently written about the lyrics (and feelings behind) Harry’s She Got Away (leaked) and Just a Little Bit of Your Heart. I think Fool’s Gold was written around the same time and looks at similar feeling and themes. It’s just 100x more devastating.

JALBOYH sings being willing to not be the only lover of the person you love, and being willing to take whatever they offer. On the surface, FG has the same throughline.

FG is from FOUR, and all of the 1D boys get song-writing credit. That made tons of sense to me initially, because of how the author speaks of his beloved. H always speaks of Blondie with near reverence in these emotional songs, and this seemed…harsher.

And then I read this quote from other credited songwriter Jamie Scott, a longtime songwriting collaborator for 1D. He told MTV about writing Fool’s Gold with Harry Styles.

“I was in the studio with Harry, kind of just recording vocals, and it happened so quick. It took on this amazing sound and meaning for me as a writer on this album.”

So this one is ALL HARRY. I’d guess the shared credit was to draw attention away from who wrote these lyrics, which are devastating. They are his deepest fears about the relationship articulated, a shocking display of vulnerability from someone who’s already willing to be open.

Harry will note in song that he’s hurting because of the relationship, but it’s almost always his fault or because of his actions - he was careless, he messed up, he’s eaten up with jealousy. But here he goes further, for the first time attributing some of the pain to *her treatment of him*.

The song opens by establishing familiar imagery, orienting us to the couple in question.

We begin with birds, which he often uses and are a nod to the swallows flying home to each other that he had tattooed on his chest in Nov. 2012.

Next is more nautical imagery with the familiar ship (another tattoo, too)

After establishing the ‘call’, we’re expecting a similarly rosy ‘response’. We don’t get it.

We get an inversion of his usual themes. In Gerry Rafferty’s Right Down the Line (a huge influence) we hear of her “being as constant as the Northern Star, the brightest star that shines”. But here, we get:

He’s doubting her love for him, her the veracity of her feelings.

And then - he tells us his fears, what it is costing him, and how he still cannot stop.

He is just someone she uses, he’s another in a long line, and yet he doesn’t regret loving her.

But though he’s a fool for this golden girl, is his desire for her to love him back akin to seeking fool’s gold?

Verse 2 has a similar pattern and inverted response:

He owns his contribution, and is also afraid that she will never Stay:

And the chorus again, leading him to the bridge where he lays out his deepest fear/belief he’s scared to say aloud, in light of his own feelings:

And he once again confirms that despite feeling used and afraid the love is unequal, he can’t stop or regret his love. He even affirms that YES, he feels this.

And 😭😭😭.

He eventually goes back to using lyrics to reflect on her constancy, how she is golden like the sun or a sunflower. But despite this, he is seems uncertain that his love is ever fully reciprocated or even recognized. And he opens up a bit here to show the toll it takes on him.

And this song? Was never performed live. Niall—whose acoustic guitar picking in the song is admittedly gorgeous—played it solo around 3 times, and that’s it.

It’s…a lot. Too much, too personal, to heart-wrenching to perform.

What are your thoughts?

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everybody-loves-purdy · 5 months

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Apologies to some of the warrior fans out there, but I just can't agree with how this fandom treats the sisters as if they did nothing wrong. The sisters are like big cats, even bigger than Bramblestar. They attacked Shadowclan all on their own, not on someone else's territory, but on their own home. Tigerheartstar has every right to want these cats gone, let's not forget that this book takes place near AVOS, the arc where the clans took in a loner and ended up getting hurt. Why would any clan leader trust an outsider's group, especially one that attacked them? There's simply no good reason for it.

Let's not add (I love Squirrel) that Squirrelflight and Leafstar went to that territory and got not just beat up but also kidnapping by the sisters and was allowed to speak because they are shecat's. Side note. It's this fandom claims to hate abusvie ship but like moonsquirrel, ever through that ship will literally is a stockholm syndrome relationship.

Oh, let's not forget that the cat everyone was upset and crying about, Bramblestar, didn't want to be healed after getting injured in a fight with Shadowclan, once again on their territory. If he had healed her, his clan would have seen it as favoritism toward his wife, and his sister in law, as they were against the sisters and the other clans, which wouldn't be good for Thunderclan. I'm not saying his actions were commendable, but no matter which side he chose, the fandom would have criticized it anyway.

sorry but I don't get the hype around the sisters. To me (I was abused by women for almost 10 years, so this hurts me more than probably should) they are abusive, sexist cats who are shouldn't be seen as cats who can't defend themselves or didn't do anything bad

I’m so sorry you went through that, I hope you’re in a better place now, and I wish you all the best.

About the ShadowClan thing though I will say we don’t exactly know what happened, each side claims the other attacked first. I am personally more inclined to believe the sisters on this one because their accounts about what happened aren’t second hand and Tigerstar does have motivation to frame the Sisters badly. And despite all their many faults, they seem to be pretty upfront, they don’t seem to be particularly dishonest, they do admit trespassing on the land in the first place after all they’re very upfront about that. But like I said, we don’t know for sure, and we likely never will. It wouldn’t surprise me if ShadowClan attacked first but only after warning the Sisters and telling the Sisters to back off back over the border and then the Sisters standing their ground instead.

I personally feel that if Bramblestar wanted to be cautious and impartial in this situation he should have treated Sunrise and held her prisoner (announcing so to the clan) while consulting StarClan rather than just leave her without treatment for several hours. I personally just think anything is better than leaving her to die, not just morally but diplomatically, rather than be proactive and take any kind of stance or decision he literally just said “StarClan can decide for me, no one do anything while they’re consulted.” He just wasn’t a very good leader in that instance he just shifted all responsibility over to his ancestors.

But yeah the Sisters definitely have a lot of flaws in any case. I find them a very interesting group myself, but they certainly do have issues. I’m hoping at least after what happened with Tree and the death of Moonlight maybe under Snow’s leadership they might be willing to bend the rules a little if toms don’t feel quite ready to leave, probably not given how stubborn and proud they are, but there’s always a bit of hope things might improve with a different matriarch.

#anonymous #abuse tw

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darklove9314-blog · 1 year

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Oh anti-Rhys and prompt I love it!!

Prompt: Rhys complaining about Nesta but then Lucien is like no sir. Could we get some Lucien calling out Rhys for the things he did UTM. like tearing off that faeries wings. You think for someone who has wings he would understand his actions more! And his treatment of feyre twisting her bone and drugging her.

Lucien had never been good at keeping his mouth shut as he made his way into Rhys’s study the High Lord of Night Court pouring over several text as Lucien took a seat at the front of Rhys’s desk making Rhys slam the book so fast that it almost startled him.

“Vanserra, what brings you here?” He asked as Lucien sighed in annoyance.

“You’re weekly progress report on Archeron, even though I don’t know why you need it if you trust your general so much.” Lucien replied earning a look from Rhys.

“Cassian has-a soft spot for Nesta, I can’t always trust him to tell me the truth.” He admitted making Lucien’s gaze shift to him in response.

“She’s his mate, I would be surprised if he didn’t have a soft spot for the viper.” Lucien replied as Rhys’s eyes widened in shock.

“How did you-” Rhys started, but Lucien cut him off,

“Everyone within a ten mile radius of them could tell, so don’t act so shocked that I could tell. I do have my own mate after all.”

No matter how much his mate didn’t want him in his life, it was obvious the moment he was around those two that they had a much deeper connection then the others, one more powerful than Lucien had ever saw, but that wasn’t why he had come to Rhysand today.

“It still doesn’t answer my question why you need to keep tabs on her.”

“Let’s just say she’s on a probation of sorts, one false move, one hair out of line and I’ll make sure she’s sent to where she belongs, whether Feyre agrees to it or not.”

Lucien wasn’t sure why he did it, Nesta Archeron was a viper after all, but to hear someone like Rhysand speak about her like this, it really rubbed him in the worst way, no matter how horrible she may have acted, Lucien was tired of Rhysand’s holier than thou attitude when his own nose hadn’t been the cleanest.

“Do you really think you of all people should be making that choice?” Lucien inquired making Rhys eyes gutter. Lucien fought the urge to roll his own as he leaned forward not giving Rhys the chance to answer him,

“You of all people should not be talking shit about horrible behavior that hurts and affects others when your own nose isn’t clean, Feyre may have forgiven you for what happened and that was her choice to do so, but some of us can’t forget the role you played, the hurt you caused. You may have been doing it to survive, but in the end you still ended up hurting others. Sound familiar?”

“I did what I had to do.” Rhys tried to argue but Lucien was tired of the excuses,

“That doesn’t mean that your choices didn’t come with consequences, especially when it came to Feyre.”

“Don’t you dare speak to me about my Mate.” He growled out as Lucien jutted his chin out, not backing down in the slightest.

“Why? Because if I keep talking about it that means you can’t outright ignore it? Do you even know how she looked after you drugged her and forced her to do things she would have never agreed to sober? No, of course you don’t, because you left her in those God forsaken rags in her cell until I went to check on her and had to hand her my coat. She felt violated by what you did to her Rhys, and yet you still think you can say that you’re better than those have hurt her. How is that possible?”

“If you’re trying to defend Tamlin in the same breath-”

“I’m not, but I find it hypocritical that you hate Tamlin so much when you two are a reflection of each other.”

“I have done nothing to Feyre that equates to anything Tamlin hasn’t done to her.” Rhys argued as Lucien rose a brow.

“You forced her to drink that fae wine and dance on you provocatively you twisted a bone in her arm to get her to agree to your arrangement, and you left her in a cell afterwards, not to mention forcing a kiss on her and breaking into her mind to make her feel sheer terror so Tamlin would have to beg you to let her go. You act surprised that people don’t trust you, and yet you gave us nothing to trust. I’m not saying that Feyre didn’t want to be with you, because we now know that she did, but can you really blame us for not trusting you when we saw what you did, when part of the reason Feyre had nightmares was because of you.”

“You ignored her nightmares.” Rhys growled out as Lucien narrowed his eyes slightly,

“Because we were also living in one. We also went under the mountain Rhys, We also endured countless nightmares because of Amarantha, and we had to go back to a court which also suffered. You didn’t have to come back to that, or at least you didn’t when it came to Velaris.”

“It doesn’t mean that I also didn’t have my demons to face Lucien. I gave you time to help Feyre and you two never did.”

“Then I guess we both made our mistakes, but my point still stands after everything you’ve done, after all the bridges you burned, and the people you hurt , you have no right to pass judgement on to Nesta. You are partially the reason she got dragged into this world, We all played a part in that. I;m not saying that Nesta Archeron is a saint, but you are not the best at understanding people who are having hard times.”

“What she did-”

“She was a child when the things with her and Feyre occurred, I have heard the stories' of you and your circle Rhys, all of you haven’t had the best reaction to things either, but that’s nature. But just because it’s in our nature to act a certain way doesn’t mean we can’t change with time. She’s lost everything because of the war you dragged her into, the least you could do is be more understanding.”

Rhys’s jaw clenched,

“I didn’t do those things to her.”

“I’m not saying you’re the reason overall, but when we stand up to those to that wish to harm us, sometimes those who are innocent in the matter ends up getting hurt. And whether you want to admit it or not, Nesta was one of those people.”

Rhys glanced away, turning his back to Lucien, not outright kicking him out, but dismissing him overall. Lucien clenched his jaw slightly, getting out of the chair as he made his way to the door,

“She’s healing in her own way, but she will never heal in the way she needs to if you have a time limit and consequences hanging over her head. I’m not saying you have to like her, or even care for her, but for Feyre, Elain, and Cassian’s sake, at least do them a favor and try.”

And with that Lucien left the High Lord of the Night to contemplate what he would do next.

#anti rhys #anti rhysand #anon ask

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vegasandhishedgehog · 2 years

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Vegas and Being The Family Scapegoat

Being an older sibling is a heavy burden in any given family, but when that also includes being the heir of a mafia family, the mounted pressure is tenfold. The show makes this apparent with Kinn's arc, highlighting his struggle to balance the responsibility of his position with his personal desires. However, the consequences of his actions often affect others worse than Kinn himself (still upset about Big's death and how little ceremony he got, btw).

For Vegas, though? When he messes up? The consequences are much worse, and often much more personal. Regardless of how involved his father is in their plots to undermine the main family, it's Vegas who has to do most of the work. Gun is quietly deciding where he is moving his pieces and Vegas does the motions. But humans aren't chess pieces and sometimes the moves they make don't follow the rules of the game, which can yield unwanted errors. When he messes up, he's in for a beating. If it isn't physical, it's psychological.

For all that Vegas tries to be - a good manipulator, calculated, well prepared, whore, etc. - he has never been good enough. And it could be argued as to why, but essentially it doesn't matter because ultimately Vegas will be human and his own person who can't be stripped of every possible chance for error when it comes to handling the business within the minor family. And since his family's goal is to take over the major one, everything is pinned on him.

Without going into the enormous amount of pressure this puts on him, Vegas is weighed down by one of the worst things a parent can do with their children: comparison. It's unrealistic to expect a mafia boss to be a spectacular father, but Korn and Gun are neck and neck for the worst of the year. Do they even want loving relationships with their sons? It almost seems like they don't and all they care about is keeping the power dynamic in the family where each of them want it. That may be too cold of an understanding, but it's not worth ruling out entirely. In any case, Gun absolutely ruined Vegas with how often he compared him to Kinn. The two weren't forced to compete with each other outwardly, but in Vegas' mind the competition is always on whether he cares for it or not.

Vegas is someone who desperately needs approval and all he has gotten is horribly starved. Gun's approval has always been conditional and when the conditions are as high stakes as "undermine your cousins, who by the way have more power and influence and resources and protection, and then maybe you'll be worth the air you breathe," Vegas will always be wanting until he meets that goal. Until then, any time he isn't meeting that standard or working toward it means that he is the root of every problem in the family. He has been made to feel that his mere existence drags everything down and he can never stand up to the heights of the expectations that have been set for him his entire life.

Hearing the words "why compare?" from Pete were a revelation. It likely hadn't occurred to Vegas to question why before, because it had been something he’d just known to live with all his life. He was born into something he could never conceivably leave and he'd accepted so much of his upbringing as unchangeable facts, so why not accept the comparison as one of them? Realizing he can question that, challenge it, even just on his own and not openly, took off some immense weight. So when his father unleashes more vitriol later, he returns to Pete and can say it didn't hurt as much.

Vegas is still an evil bastard, but adding this layer to his character is also what makes him a really great villain. He isn't going to use this new knowledge to become softer. If anything, it's more likely to fuel his anger but what it will do is bring him greater focus. Knowing he received the brunt of his father's awful treatment in unfair proportions and finally being allowed to acknowledge that he has a right to care more about himself will be powerful for him in the future. Instead of anger being some uncontrollable weakness, it now has the potential to become a deadly weapon stronger than any voltage he could use. He will finally have a chance to no longer be the scapegoat and I am readily admitting that I want to see that happen.

#kinnporsche #vegas theerapanyakul #kinnporsche meta #gun theerapanyakul #pete saengtham #kinn theerapanyakul

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lifespoetry · 2 years

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Josie, Lizzie, Kai and the darkness

Josie and Lizzie

Through the series the twins had a chance for mutual growth and make serious steps in understanding each other. However their relationship improved is far from perfect. With an absent mother and an alcoholic neglecting father. Bringing Josie to a position feeling responsible to alleviate Lizzie’s intense outbursts. Primary carrying the burden of essentially taking care of her mentally ill sister. Which proves damaging for a number of factors. Considering the fragile of their age she was unable to understand the extent of Bipolar disorder. Resulting in Lizzie not getting proper help and her own sense of self starting to decay. Suppressing her own needs and emotions in order to aid her sister.Josie clinged to it, the only way she used to be seen, taking care of others. In order to pravail her indenity.Something that Lizzie exploited both unconsciously and deliberately.

Learning about the merge and Penelope leaving caused a major drift in their relationship. Lizzie is at loss feeling completely estranged from her sister for first time. She befriends Hope and adapts more easily. Working hard on herself trying to mend things. Hope was the reality check she needed. Yet it wasn't enough to close the gap between them. There was so much resentment and unresolved feelings. Partly because Josie didn't open up choosing to deflect, too accustomed in Lizzie not listening. Falling back in old habits, they talk about it but not really. It's superficial. Outreaching both Josie and the progress Lizzie made. It isn't one separate thing. It's their whole relationship that needs recalculation. All her life plans alighted with Lizzie. Only to learn later on that whatever choice she made lead to this horrific event. Her self preservation arises and is so alien and forgein to her that she creates an outlet for it (dark Josie).

Josie, Alaric and Kai

How more appealing the narrative could be If only took a different route. One that would explain her relationship with Alaric and his odd treatment of her.Whatever half-resemblance of family tie they maintain it's due to her own efforts. The show makes it apparent that she resembles Jo the woman Alaric loved dearly but she isn't the only one who Josie looks alike. He can't bear watching Kai's features intertwined with his wife's heartwarming smile. The twins being unaware of why and how their uncle killed their biological mom. Both Alaric and Caroline are inclined to discuss it, contributing in the already toxic environment.

Throughout their entire childhood a mystery envelops something so grotesque and terrifying too close to Josie for comfort . Shaping certain parts and aspects of herself. Interprerating her dissociation for sociopathy. Both being coping mechanisms that develops in childhood due to severe abuse or neglect. Explaining the role of martyr that she so eagerly takes on, projecting inwards all her Father's treatment. Being too invested in justifying his actions. Above all she wants to do good and wants desperately to be loved. She still lifts the curse without remembering Hope. Seeking comfort in the most unusual places. Jade who hurt her family, Hope who could never reciprocate her feelings.Even her relationship with Landon was crossed over.

The loss of stakes

Even though I enjoyed them, their interactions were dull at best, with no depth in them. So much potential was lost. Lizzie, with all her wit and sharp remarks, would have been more suitable for these scenes. It would make them far more entertaining. Now picture this: Josie confronts Kai with a certain mindset. A new kind of fear that she's only known since she came to the prison world emerged. A more intimate,dawning horror settled against her bones, recognizing prominent parts of herself in him and bringing her to the harrowing realization that she doesn't hate them. According to her father, she ough to revile every part of Kai. When that doesn't happen, it's terrifying. Instead, josie is partnering up with him, defying her father and forging a queer kinship with her uncle, confirming all her insidious fears. Fundamentally, proving what and who she is can't be good, meaning her reasoning can't be trusted. While what she views as her darkest inclinations in reality are emotions like anger, jealousy, or her instinct for self-preservation, accepting them requires a certain level of awareness and a stable sense of self she isn't accustomed to. This could manifest as the breaking point, ultimately driving her to dark magic.

#legacies #josie saltzman #josie x Lizzie #Josie x Kai #lizzie saltzman #kai parker #hope mikaelson #hizzie #hosie #caroline forbes #alaric saltzman #dark josie #character study #my own interpretation #josie and dissociation #Julie Plec didn't really bother to gives a proper episode with Kai and Josie #Assuming the reason she didn't pick Lizzie was it requires time and work to write

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liaromancewriter · 2 years

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Did Ethan and Cassie ever go to couples counseling/therapy for any reason(s)? How about Max and Sienna?

Thank you for this ask! It's a senstive topic and I hope I did it justice.

Ethan & Cassie:

Ethan and Cassie haven't been to couples therapy as they're both very good at talking to each other. It took practice, especially after Louise, but they were both committed to making it work.

Cassie went to therapy after the poison attack. She also has a degree in Psychology, and had once considered that as a career. So understands the benefits of therapy. Cassie can be incredibly patient, and she knew that recriminations wasn't the way to go with Ethan. It was hard for him at first, but he let her in because he could be vulnerable with her. And she never made him feel like he was being judged.

I hc that Ethan has been to therapy a few times since Louise came back into his life. In my fic, Too Late for Regrets, he and Cassie discuss therapy briefly as part of Louise's treatment. These events led him to start seeing someone professional for a time, to come to grips with his feelings.

He starts therapy again when Louise relapses again a year or so later. That helps him finally understand that he's not to blame for her actions, but is responsible for how it affects his life. And he cuts Louise off. Cassie participated in some of those sessions, and that helped immensely because she was his support system outside those sessions.

I see Ethan as someone that tries to handle things on his own, but eventually he starts to recognize the signs when he needs help. Sometimes it's just about talking things through with Cassie, and other times with someone professional. He would much rather talk with Cassie though; this is especially when he starts spiralling due to impending fatherhood.

Max & Sienna:

They haven't attended couples therapy and never felt the need to. The core of their relationship is their deep and abiding friendship. Even before things changed between them, they could share a more private part of themselves with each other. They've always been comfortable talking things out, including disagreements.

When they came together as a couple, one of the promises they made to each other was that they would always be friends: open and honest no matter the situation. And they've abided by that. It's what makes them stronger together. The one time they didn't, they both felt the impact and renewed their promise to each other.

Max had broached the idea of therapy for Sienna, particularly after his accident. He felt that Sienna needed to talk to someone professional about the losses she suffered: Danny, her patients, etc.

She resisted for a while, but when she was pregnant with Noah she made the decision to try it. She didn't want her issues to affect her family. She found that it did help her come to grips with everything she went through during residency and especially after the poison attack.

Character Asks: @jerzwriter @coffeeheartaddict2 @quixoticdreamer16 @dorisz @lucy-268 @queencarb @crazy-loca-blog @peonierose @openheartforeverinmyheart @bluebelle08

#ethan ramsey #ask and answered #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine #sienna trinh #sienna trinh x max valentine

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proudpokemonmama · 8 months

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Isabel's Johto Pokémon

All of Isabel's pokémon on Johto region.

Aki, the Entei (gender unknown)

Moveset: Sacred Fire, Extreme Speed, Stone Edge, Flare Blitz, Over Heat, Hyper Beam, Fire Blast, Roar, Reflect, Detect.

Ability: Inner Focus

Entei was originally captured by Isabel, Kelly's mother on her journey;

Isabel was studying more about Johntonian folklore through a book about the three legendary beastly pokémon (Like mother, like daughter being folklore nerds) while she was camping;

The old cliché of a criminal organization like Team Rocket trying to carry out some evil plan that was corrupting the balance;

Also trying to capture legendary pokémon to use them as weapons, but were unlucky enough to cross paths with Isabel;

Like mother, like daughter! Isabel has never tolerated pokemon being mistreated or people trying to use them for selfish purposes;

Needless to say, they got their asses kicked, not only did the bad guys' Pokemon but Team Rocket's grunts get some pretty painful karate treatment;

The legendary pokémon realized that there was no bad intention in her actions, especially when she helped it hide from the authorities when Isabel handed over the grunts of Team Rocket to Officer Jenny and it was she who took care of its injuries;

She was also at the side of the legendary pokémon all the time it needed to be admitted to the pokémon center and helping Nurse Joy to keep a low profile of its presence;

Isabel was also with it on the day of its release and each one went their own way,

This did not last long, as a week later Entei appeared before her;

Words didn't need to be said, it was clear that the legendary pokémon chose her as its trainer;

As a family tradition, the legendary was given the name “Aki” which means autumn and which is Isabel's favorite season who compared entei to the beautiful autumn landscapes in Ecruteak;

Precisely because it is a Legendary, Isabel kept it in a low profile, with the pokémon only entering the battlefield in extreme need;

Years passed until the incident between Isabel and her brother happend, causing the trainer of this pokémon to receive custody of Kelly;

Kelly was raised by Isabel and always had Aki as a part of her life while growing up and Aki simply took on the older silbing role;

After the accident that Isabel suffered and the consequences resulting from it, she was unable to take care of many pokémon on her own;

Isabel didn't have many pokémon, but the sequels still made it impossible for her to do much of her old routine and to avoid the worst case scenario that was that the authorities needed to take them out of Isabel's custody, Kelly intervened taking full responsibility;

That's how Aki and several of Isabel's other Pokémon were placed in Kelly's custody.

Dante, the Honchkrow (male♂)

Move set: Brave Bird, Dark Pulse, Aerial Ace, Taunt, Sky Attack, Night Slash, Superpower, Haze, Defog, Whirlwind.

Ability: Super Luck

Dante is Isabel's first pokémon and her companion in many battles;

They met in Ecruteak, years before Isabel could even have her first pokémon and leave on her journey;

Isabel was only five years old when she saw a small murkrow being bullied by a bunch of bullies who had buried the poor pokémon up to its neck and were throwing rocks;

Isabel was known as the "heroine" of Ecruteak and a skilled practitioner of Johtonian karate, no bullies caused trouble when she was around;

Those bullies had a lesson that has never been forgotten;

Isabel helped the poor pokémon and took it home asking for help from her parents to take care of the wounds;

As murkrow recovered, he became more attached to his savior and decided that she would be his trainer and Isabel would not deny it because she became attached to him too;

When the time came for them to set out on their journey, they were inseparable.

He remains faithful to Isabel, but he also obeys and protects Kelly ('cause he's her oldest sibling being Isabel's first pokémon).

She's his trainer's precious daughter and if it weren't for her, perhaps Isabel's entire team and pokémon would have been wiped out of Isabel custody by his trainer's disability imposed by the aftermath of the accident;

That said, it's not wise to try and do something to Kelly, Dante might as well get a bunch of murkrow and make said idiot's life hell while they still alive.

Apollo, the Espeon (male♂)

Move set: Calm Mind, Magic Bounce, Psychic, Shadow Ball, Morning Sun, Zap Cannon, Dazzling Gleam, Trick, Hidden Power, Protect.

Ability: Magic Bounce

Isabel in the middle of her journey, she was camping when she was challenged by a trainer she found in the clearing where her camp was set;

Soon she was battling the trainer who owned an eevee while Isabel commanded Dante the Honchkrow;

During the battle the eevee evolved into an espeon which was happy to finally evolve and when it was about to go to its trainer, he wasn't well received about it;

Said trainer was furious, as he wanted his eevee to have evolved into an umbreon and not "dumb pink thing";

Taking out his anger on the pokémon he shouted at the espeon that cowered in fear not recognizing the usual loving trainer;

What broke the espeon's heart was hearing its trainer shouting that it didn't need a girly and useless pokémon and seeing it stomping the now espeon's poké ball breaking it;

He simply walked away, leaving the espeon behind and not caring about Isabel's protests about how cruel his attitude was towards the pokémon;

She saw how hurt the pokémon was and would not leave him by himself, going to console him, took him in her arms and snuggled him against her, letting her heartbeat calm him down;

Isabel started saying how amazing and beautiful the pokémon was and saying several other compliments, but also how the old trainer was an idiot for not seeing that;

She invited him to join her on her journey, if he ever wanted to go his own path he was free to do so or if he wanted to stay by her side she would always be here for him;

And well, he ended up deciding to be Isabel's pokémon and got the name Apollo;

And there was one time they bumped on Apollo's former trainer who seeing how strong the espeon had become, tried to use sugar-coated words and empty apologies to get the pokémon to take him back as his trainer;

Only to be blasted away with a powerful Shadow Ball, well call it karma.

Eudora, the Arbok (female♀)

Move set: Coil, Gunk Shot, Aqua Tail, Earthquake, Fire Fang, Disable, Thunder Fang, Seed Bomb, Dark Pulse, Dragon Tail.

Ability: Intimidate

Eudora was an ekans when she met Isabel who had gotten lost in the forest after running away from a beedrill swarm;

The ekans was very sick and was abandoned by her group, but luckily it had been found by Isabel;

Isabel had sent Dante to look for a road or a possible pokémon center and even if they were lucky the base of forest guards in case they had entered a forest reserve;

In this case it was the first option and not far away there was a pokémon center;

Isabel had tripped over the pokémon's long serpentine body which was too weak to react or flee, in fact the pokémon was barely conscious;

Obviously Isabel with the help of Alphonse, the venusaur took the ekans to the pokémon center;

There ekans received the treatment that it needed so much and from time to time Isabel visited the pokémon;

After a few days the pokémon was already in better health, but not enough to return to the wild;

It would still take a few weeks for it to be truly healthy, but then Isabel wanted to make sure the pokémon was in full health to be back in the wild;

So she took responsibility, but would not catch the ekans without the pokémon wanting it and with that they spent some time traveling together until ekans was in full health;

But instead of leaving, the pokémon signaled that it wanted Isabel as its trainer and received the name Eudora;

Despite her kind's fame, Eudora's an extremely affectionate cuddle bug and proof of this are photos of her using her long snake-like body as a playpen or a giant pillow for Kelly to nap on when she was still a baby;

And Eudora isn't just the cuddle bug that everyone sees when she isn't on the battlefield, in those moments she is atrocious and merciless;

Like many of Isabel's Pokémon, she was placed in Kelly's custody after the accident and now days she's live in the ranch helping with the security.

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soft-whisper95 · 1 year

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Granger,

There aren’t enough words in all of the world’s languages to express how I feel as I write this. I had a conversation with my probation officer recently, after which I realized there was so much left unsaid between us. I know I have apologized, and I could until I’m blue in the face, but it wouldn’t be enough. I have learned recently that thanks means a lot in the way of showing gratefulness, which is why I am writing this today. You have been a positive influence in my life, more so than I would have ever admitted, from a young age. Ever since you decked me in the face in third year (I most certainly deserved it) I was confused by your very existence. Every time you got top marks it made me, even if just for a brief moment, question the entire reality I was raised on. When I saw you walk in with Krum at the Yule ball, I didn’t know what to think. I bullied you as long as I did after because I wasn’t ready to face the possibility of a reality outside of the life I knew and the lies I was so convinced were truth. That is no excuse by any means, but merely the reality I was living. I knew when I took the Mark that it was the wrong thing to do and that I would hate every minute of it, but I knew I had to. Saving my parents was the only thing keeping me going in those days. I understand that you know, but I want to say plainly, that I never really wanted to follow the Dark Lord. Especially when I realized what he was willing to do for power, but honestly especially after seeing how disposable his followers were. When you came to the manor, I knew I couldn’t sell you, Potter, and Weasley out. I knew what my aunt and father were capable of, but I especially knew what the Dark Lord would do, and I didn’t want to be the cause of it. I didn’t want to be responsible. I could have done more, I know that. I truly am sorry I didn’t. Especially because my silence cost you. I felt for a long time I deserved to be haunted by it. I have to admit I was surprised you spoke at my hearing, I was still dealing with deep in the guilt of my lack of action. I know it’s the one thing I can say we’ve talked about, but again, thank you doesn’t seem like enough. Things really started to change for me, however, in eighth year. After everything I had said and done to you and your friends, you still stood up for and with Slytherin students. I know you said you just wanted peace, but you could have ignored it. I never thanked you for that. And all the times we sat in silence in the library, I am grateful for. Even then I still had the wrong mindset about everything, but you sat with me. Maybe it was because we had something in common despite our many differences. Maybe I was siting at your usual table. I don’t know. But even that day near the end of term when we both sat outside by the black lake, I appreciate. We didn’t say a word to each other. We didn’t even sit close. But you could have immediately left when I sat down. Whether it was out of stubbornness or neutrality toward my presence, I still appreciate it. All of these things and more were stepping stones to where I am today. I currently live in a small muggle town in a small state in America, and I made a couple friends. If I am honest with myself, I wouldn’t have been able to imagined the life I’m living now, but I am blessed by it every day. I have learned so much about the muggle world and am quite impressed by it. I underestimated muggles, thereby underestimating you, and I am deeply sorry for my treatment of you for my biased prejudice. Thank you for everything you have done to start me on my journey. I have found a happiness and a light that I sometimes question if I deserve, but I can’t in any way take all of the credit for it. Some of that goes to you. DLM

#fanfic #draco malfoy #hermione granger #friends #after war #read to find out #ao3 stuff #link below #changes #fan fic things #fan fic related #redemption #oc #harry potter

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smoreboi · 2 years

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my family makes a lot of threats, but they never actually do anything and it’s hilarious now that I have some more distance between us. Like,, I’m not going to sever ties because I need college money and healthcare and my mom took my money from graduation and instead of actually taking me to the bank and getting me a card she just put it in her own account and is slowly giving me an “allowance” of my own money each month, and then judging me for how I’m using it (to buy skeletons that I can marry or parent, in case you’re wondering) saying that I’m not being responsible with it, which I’m not because allowances as an 18yo IS a joke, just stop fear mongering me from getting a job and give me my money and I’ll go ahead and take it seriously. So yeah, I’m not going to sever ties. But I’m sick of the threats. Parents said they highly considered kicking me out and making me pay for everything when I told them that I went behind their back and got myself a single in the queer housing on my campus and was going to be a not girl in college whether they approve or not, but they didn’t do it. Like, where’s the passion? If you’re gonna be a bigot, BE THE FUCKING BIGOT. Don’t just threaten me like that, this is mental abuse.

Grandma said if I transition before she dies she’ll take me to my great grandfather’s grave, make me confess my “sins” to him (he was a Lutheran preacher, and confession isn’t typically part of Lutheran practice as far as I’m aware as someone raised Lutheran, so I don’t know why she needed to add this bit), and then shoot me on his grave, but like,, if she’s right about everything, I’d be going to heaven only if it weren’t for the snail worship. As far as I’m aware as someone raised Lutheran, Jesus died for the sins of the people, all the sins of the people, and thus as long as someone believes this to be true, no matter their sins in life or their actions in correlation with a church, they will go to heaven. Me being trans isn’t taking me to hell, me worshiping three snails as a joke because the placebo affect of performing ritual prayer to them has only positively affected my life is what’s sending me to hell! So do it! You’re coming down with me, because love thy neighbor and don’t murder are two big rules in your religion. Some dude climbed a mountain about that shhh or something. Stop making my mind swarm your house with spiders only I can see as a warning sign that it isn’t a safe place for me and just do it.

earlier in life, parents threatened to send me to a mental hospital because I was your typical undiagnosed mentally ill angsty teen who didn’t talk to them and hung out with other undiagnosed mentally ill angsty teens, but they never actually did. I would probably have gotten at least some kind of brain care there, and they’d have kept me away from sharp objects! But noooooo, we stigmatize mental illness and then use it as a threat to our child every time it acts up slightly or might be bisexual. first, DONT FUCKING DO THAT and second, ACTUALLY LET YOUR CHILD RECEIVE MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT WHEN IT ASKS AND STOP JUST USING IT AS A THREAT WHENEVER IT HAS A FRIEND WITH PARENTS BELOW YOUR WAGE BRACKET!! You bigoted fucks, just do it and get it over with

#tw #tw threats #threats of violence #threats of murking #stigmatization of mental illness #a bunch of other stuff #me being really sick of this shhh on a friday morning

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imthecleric · 2 years

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How Will Knows Brenner, explaining that odd look in the desert.

This would be a meta if not most of it being conjecture based on context clues from the show. Regardless of your thoughts on the script situation, Will’s reaction in the desert stuck out to me because it wasn’t like Mike’s and it sorely reminded me of how he reacts about Owens, and the lab.

So first things first before I get into any analysis of canon, from a film making perspective and how the Brothers film this show. Things are intentional. Whenever their is a focused shot on Will reacting to something, see Dart in the AV club in S2, it is always purposeful. They don’t just show Will’s reactions for fun, it has a point that is usually later revealed. So keep that in mind when the Duffers specifically focused on Will. His reaction is different from Mike and El’s, and is honestly very similar to how he reacts to things about the Lab and Owens. Noah is very good at these types of micro-expressions.

So lets discuss the evidence by season.

Season 1

Season 1 the lab has a huge presence in Hawkins. We see them listening in on specific phone calls and people. Particularly calls to and from the Byers’ house along with a few other select places. However before the lab is even slightly implicated in what is going on with Will they are doing this to the Byer household.

El recognizes Will. Having never seen Will before the picture, and not having any reason to have seen him as we know opening and closing the gate would not require her seeing him based on season 2 she still is able to point him out in a picture, as the one who is missing. She reacts to him like she knows him to some extent.

Once the lab begins to be implicated in what happened to Will, Joyce is at the lab and says something along the lines of “You took my boy from me.” She has no reason to say this because as far as she knows and believes Will is still alive, and the lab is not connected directly to how Will disappeared. She says other things in this talk dealing more directly with the circumstances around Will’s disappearance but this one statement indicates previous connections to the lab.

Brenner’s own actions in season 1 can be construed as splitting his time between his search for El and what is going on with Will. There are certain actions he makes that are not related to El at all, but are related to Will. However because Will and El are often confused for each other, especially in season 1 what he does could easily be construed as just for El.

With the confusion of El and Will, it is discussed multiple times if Will had gone to the lab, or escaped the lab. We know he didn’t. But I find it interesting that this is such a plausible thing for multiple characters to consider. Especially since this is a small town and people know Will.

Last, and probably most convincing is the fake body. The lab without ever having seen Will, is able to make a perfect replica of Will’s body. The picture on the lost posters is a head shot, and not enough to go off of for the detail the lab goes into when making a full body replica. And I don’t just mean like height, weight, and clothes which they could get, I mean specific body marks that they were able to replicate.

Season 2

Owens in talking to Jonathan and Nancy indicates that the men responsible for Barb and Will are gone. He does not indicate when he replaced this men though, or when they were ousted. Additionally we know that Will was not always seen by the lab, or at least their was a break in the lab’s treatment of him because Will saw a doctor in Chicago.

In Theresa’s dream circle their is a green car that looks alot like Joyce’s. It is not Joyce’s car as hers is a two door, and the car in the dream circle is a four door, but they are very similar looking. And I don’t think having that bright green car was a coincidence since we know El and Will are connected.

Again we know that El has seen what is going on with Will, she has seen. I think she has seen more than perhaps we are shown in the show, or that is implied. We are shown that she at least sees part of the possession. However, I think she has seen what leads up to it, and knows more than she lets on when it comes to what she knows about Will.

Will has to be reassured that Joyce will be there the entire time he is at his appointment. This indicates she probably did not used to be. And who would want a separation there Brenner and those connected to him.

Season 3

Nothing here.

Season 4

Will’s reaction to Owens and those related to him. We know Will’s gut reactions are to be trusted. He does not trust Owens. He says it himself the people who helped him were his friends and family. And he was right to not trust Owens because it placed El back in the hands of Brenner.

Will’s reaction to Brenner. As stated above, the focus on his reaction which is odd for a person who has never met this man. But more importantly, his reaction is one of scared recognition. As stated above, he reacts to Brenner the same way he reacts to Owens. Which is fear and mistrust.

Regardless of if Will has powers or not, Will knowing Brenner based on context that we are given in the show is not completely out of the realm of possibility. I mean this is a show that changed a cover of a book Karen Wheeler was reading so it looked more like Billy in s2, and we aren’t supposed to think that a car similar to Joyce’s being at the lab isn’t supposed to help us make the connection.

The show indicates that Will really hates going to the lab. However what we see while a bit creepy, isn’t too terrible, which means there was a change in how Will was being treated, and who he was treated by.

So I do think Will has had interactions with Brenner. How exactly it happened could be any number of things from Lonnie selling his son out, to the fact that he had similarities to Henry and could be someone with natural powers like him and the lab somehow picked up on it, to something else. We wont know until season 5. But I do not think that was just a weird one off reaction, nor do I think he has shared memories of the man from Henry, and I also do not think he would have that action from stories El would tell about the lab if she told him anything. It was far too specific for any of that, and the way it was cut I think Brenner may have recognized him as well.

#three: headcanon

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danielleverboski2c · 2 months

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Danielle Verboski

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Danielle verboski

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milliedazzledust · 3 years

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I'll Come Back for You (Bucky Barnes imagine)

REQUEST: ANON - something where he is in winter soldier mode and protecting the scientist (y/n) where she is the only one who can sort of calm him down after a mission

ANON - winter soldier!bucky being protective over his scientist who’s forced to be take care of his health and she’s being kept there against his will too

ANON - Bucky Barnes request about how both reader and Bucky are each other support systems? It could be like a headcanon, how would the reader comfort him while how he comforts her so forth and so on

WORDS: 3506

A/N: So I don't know if I was inspired or if I just wrote too much, but I'm not sure this story's good. Anyway, feedback is really appreciated and I hope you'll like it :) (also don't forget to tell me if you want to be on my taglist ^^)

“What happened this time ?”

Her voice was only a whisper in the quiet room. The broken man silently sat on the examination table while she stuck a needle in his functioning arm. He didn’t speak, didn’t even flinch. This masquerade had started the moment she had set foot inside Hydra secret base. They had brought her against her will to take care of their most valuable soldier. It was always the same dance, rehearsed a million times since she had met him. After each mission, each murder, he’d come to her. She’d fix his physical wounds, take care of his arm and let him go.

More than often, she found herself feeling sorry for him. She knew what Hydra was doing to him, she’d heard the screams echoing in the distance. It would keep ringing in her ears for hours. Sometimes, the simple thought of picturing what he was going through was enough to bring her to tears. No one deserved to suffer this way.

The Winter Soldier was a cruel man, an assassin. She had seen him in action, had even been attacked the first time they were introduced. But despite being the necessary tool to take care of their valuable killer, she liked him. This wasn’t a place anyone could handle, not even him. And while she was aware of the danger Hydra represented, he was a different story. The man he once was had been trapped in a small corner of his mind, disconnected. His hands were his own, but his actions were dictated by an army that had invaded his head long ago. He was a machine turned on and off at will by the power of ten simple words.

“I was stabbed” Was his only answer. He didn’t give any detail, simply raised his shirt so she could inspect the injury.

“Do you feel any pain ?”

He blankly stared at an invisible point on the wall, avoiding looking at her. He was aware anyone could be listening.

“Soldier ?” She called him, stopping her movement and waiting for his response.

“I don’t feel anything” His voice was emotionless and a chill ran down her spine when he spoke. He was detached, impassive, a statue unaware he was capable of sentiment.

She cleared her throat, trying to stay focused on her task. She cleaned the wound, took his vitals, wrote down the conclusion of her examination and prepared what she needed to sew him up.

When she was about to administer the anesthetic, he suddenly grabbed her wrist. She caught her breath, frightened, but made no movement. For the first time that day, he turned his head to look at her. Whatever she saw in his eyes was enough to ease the tension in her shoulders and she relaxed.

“It’s okay” She whispered, a kind smile on her face. “This is propofol”

She knew he would recognize the name. She had spent countless hours explaining everything she was doing to him in detail so he wouldn’t be uncomfortable or scared. He was a super soldier that required extreme measures of treatment.

“No drugs,” He told her.

“You might regret that decision once I start to put the stitches in”

“I need to stay conscious,” He explicated, almost begging her. “Please”

She didn’t argue, only glanced at a camera behind her recording their interaction.

“Alright” She conceded. “I’ll switch to saline”

He nodded, grateful she wasn’t pushing. She turned her back carefully so her table was no longer in the camera’s field of view and he watched her emptying the needle and filling it with a harmless mixture of water and sodium chloride. Nothing that would put him to sleep.

“Have you ever been to Greece ?” She asked him out of the blue. He stared at her curiously. “I’ve always dreamed of visiting. It has the longest coastline in Europe, with so many islands between the blue Aegean Sea to the east, the Mediterranean Sea to the south, and the Ionian Sea to the west. Can you imagine how beautiful it must be ?”

She kept talking for a while about the country, the books she had read and the films she had seen about it. His eyes stayed on her the whole time, his head tilted to the side, wondering why she was telling him all this. Not that he minded, he loved listening to her. She had the power to calm him down. He was constantly on high alert, ready to fight whomever he was told to kill, prepared to endure whatever torture they had prepared, but this room and the woman inside were his only small moments of peace. Her voice was the music he desperately needed to sooth his soul.

“Why are you telling me this ?” He wondered out loud.

She smirked. “To take your mind somewhere else than here. Seems like it worked”

He glanced at his stomach and realized the stitches were already there. Too engrossed in her story, he hadn’t noticed or felt anything.

“How…”

“Funny how magical words can turn out to be, isn’t it ?”

She could swear she saw the flicker of an emotion on his face looking back between his wound and the woman, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone.

“Thank you, doc”

She hesitated a moment before gently taking his hand on her own.

“Be careful” She muttered. “There’s only so much I can fix”

“I will” He promised. “Are they … are they treating you right ?”

She shrugged. “If threatening to kill me is what you consider right, then I guess I’m a real princess in a castle”

He ran a jerky hand through his hair and seemed to be looking for the right words to say but never spoke.

“Can I ask …” She began, curiosity getting the best out of her. “What is your real name ?”

When his gaze fell on her, all she saw was pure panic. Her question, as simple as it may have been, had surprised him. He didn’t remember, didn’t even question anyone, because it hadn’t mattered. He didn’t need to be more than a ghost to be able to kill.

“I’m sorry” She apologized. “I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to…”

“I don’t know” He admitted.

She gulped and looked away. His eyes held too much confusion and despair. Coming face to face with the enormity that was this man’s fate was sometimes undeniably heartbreaking.

“Can I call you Winter, then ?” She suggested.

He seemed to ponder for a while before offering her a small smile. “Yes, yes I’d like that”

It hurt to see a glimpse of happiness on his face for something as simple as a name and the woman didn’t realize that what she had just given him was the shred of an identity. A tiny piece he would hold onto. He was living inside a nightmare he had no idea he was trapped into, and if she dared to help, she would pay it with her life. So all she had the power to do was give him a name. Make him feel alive again.

The next time she saw him was only a couple of days after, carried by two agents, head hanging low and barely conscious. His clothes were stained in blood and his metal arm seemed dislocated.

“Patch him up” One of the men coldly ordered. They dropped the injured soldier on the ground like he was nothing more than an object, not even human.

She rushed to his side, checking his pupils first with a flashlight to rule out any intracranial damage to his brain. She did the same on his chest with a stethoscope, searching for any potential life threatening injury. When she moved to his shoulder to inspect the metal bones, he regained consciousness. Maybe it was the sight of yet another scientist above him or the touch of her fingers on his skin, but the man was quick to react and got on his feet in no time. His human hand wrapped around her neck tightly and he pushed her body with force against a wall, choking her. She tried to speak, but the action had been so sudden and violent that she was unable to move a muscle. He was in a trance, eyes filled with hatred that she knew was not directed toward her. Whatever he was picturing in his mind had awakened the assassin. She was the threat and he was in a game of survival.

She whispered his name several times but it was only after a minute, when she was on the verge of passing out, that he seemed to realize what he was doing. He stared at her with wide open eyes and released her from his grip. Her body fell on the floor before she started coughing, struggling to catch her breath.

“I’m…” He tried to speak, looking down at his hands in horror.

“Water” She managed to whisper.

He brought the woman a bottle and tried to help her on her feet. When he reached for her, she involuntarily flinched. A pure reflex. She didn’t miss the sadness on his face as he recoiled from her.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know. It’s alright”

“I could’ve killed you” He said it more to himself than to her.

“But you didn’t” She laid a hand on her chest, taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart rate. “What happened ?”

“You touched me,” He explained.

“I touch you all the time” When he smirked, she realized the double meaning behind what she had just said. “Hm … why would it be any different today ?” She immediately changed the subject.

“Usually, when I’m unconscious I can … sense them around me. Working on me. And I can’t move but I still feel the pain”

Once again she was at a loss of words against the heaviness that was the burden of his life.

“Are you sure you’re alright ?” He repeated almost in a childish voice.

“I’ll get over it, don’t worry” She tried to reassure him. It didn’t seem to work. He took a temptative step, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. He moved his hand toward her neck, deliberately going as slow as he could. His eyes stayed on hers, watching out for any sign of fear. “What are you doing ?” She said in a breath, a different kind of shiver rolling down her spine.

“I need to make sure I didn’t hurt you” The sincerity and concern she heard in his voice were unsettling. She stared back in disbelief, but didn’t move. This was the closest they had ever been and it almost felt unreal for both of them. Too good to be true, especially in a place of nightmare like this.

He tilted her head to the back, still looking at her, and softly brushed his thumb over her skin. A bruise was already starting to appear. She saw the change in his eyes, the regret and sadness when he lowered his gaze. He kept inspecting her from all angles possible, making her chuckle in the process.

“Are you done, doctor ?” She joked.

He tried not to smile but miserably failed. “Almost. Haven’t found a diagnosis yet”

This time she laughed.

“C’mon, I’m not the real patient here. I need to take a look at you” She glanced at his metal arm, still dislocated. He was avoiding using it and she had noticed.

He sighed but didn’t remove his hand from her neck. Instead, his thumb slowly reached her cheek and he gently stroked her skin.

“I wish I could get you out of here” He whispered. “You don’t deserve any of this”

“Neither do you”

He clenched his jaw and plastered a tight smile, refusing to acknowledge what she had just said. He lowered his arm and sat on the examination table without saying anything.

“I’m gonna … hm … I’m gonna need to cut your shirt open” She gulped, trying to keep her cheeks from getting any warmer.

The man smirked and grabbed a pair of scissors nearby that he handed to her. She took it but didn’t dare to look at him, too uncomfortable by the situation. As she cut his shirt higher and higher, her hands started to shake. He could see her shifting her weight from side to side and desperately avoiding any eye contact. She was embarrassed and he was enjoying every second of it.

When finally she had taken it carefully off his body, she huffed in frustration. There was no denying that he had beyond toned muscle structure, verged into defined and well built curves.

“Is it… is it alright if I touch you ?” She allowed herself to take a glance at him, and rolled her eyes when she saw the smirk on his face.

“More than alright, doc” He teased her.

The moment her hands came in contact with his skin, he involuntarily flexed his muscles. She took a sharp breath, trying not to lose focus when she cleaned his wounds. She looked up at him to make sure he wasn’t in any pain, only to realize he was already staring. What should have been a quick glance turned into something more, a moment that lasted a little too long. When he leaned in toward her, she suddenly seemed to notice the lack of space between them. She cleared her throat and took a step back.

“Quit flirting, Winter” She reprimanded him with a playful grin.

He laughed. It was the first time she heard that sound and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. He looked so carefree and alive, so human. She was finally meeting the man behind the assassin, and he troubled her even more than the silent killer.

“I kinda like to see you flustered, doc”

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to hide her obvious nervousness.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” She pursed her lips to keep from smiling.

“Sure you don’t” He sniggered.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna need to put that shoulder into place”

Instead of talking, he grabbed her hips and considerably shortened the distance she had put between them. Her eyes widened from both the sudden gesture and the feeling of his fingers on her body.

“Go right ahead, doc”

She leaned in toward him to have a better access to the injury, ignoring the unexpected shudder. She was practically over him, a hand on his shoulder, the other on his broad back. If he felt any pain when she pushed the bones back into place, he didn’t show.

“All good ?” He muttered, heavily breathing. She was about to ask if he was okay but the words stayed stuck when she realized how close their faces were. He wasn’t hurt, no, he was perturbed by her presence. He could smell her perfume and see the hair raising on her neck. Whatever he was feeling, she felt it too.

“Do I make you nervous, soldier ?” She said, a smile building on her full lips.

“You have no idea, doctor”

She turned to face him. They locked eyes and, for a moment, none of them moved. The atmosphere instantly changed when he bit his lips. He bent closer and closer, and this time she didn’t push back. When finally he kissed her, she froze in place. He was about to draw back when she grabbed his neck, deepening the kiss. A sensation she couldn’t comprehend took over her whole body. He didn’t rush, took his sweet time lingering his lips over hers. She could swore her knees would have given out if he wasn’t holding her in place. Her chest was fluttering and she lost all sense of time. He pulled back from the lack of oxygen, but not before caressing her mouth one last time.

“Too much?” He inquired quietly.

She shook her head, laughing. “No. Just enough”

“I’ve been dreaming of doing that for a while” He admitted.

“Quite the change of attitude. I could’ve sworn you wanted me dead only ten minutes ago” She joked.

He pouted, not particularly happy she was reminding him of his previous outburst.

“You’re all set up, Winter” She announced after one last look over his chest. “No major damage”

“Have you checked my heart ?” He joked with a smirk. “I think it’s beating a little fast”

She coughed to try and hide her laugh.

“I’m afraid that’s not fixable” She started to write her report, ignoring his lingering gaze on her. Her brain was still fuzzy from the kiss they shared. “Unless I stay away, which would probably ease your … discomfort”

“Who said anything about discomfort ? That’s a kind of pain I’d rather enjoy”

She raised an eyebrow, not missing the way her own heart palpitated.

“Don’t play with fire, soldier”

He smirked. “Between us, I’m trying to delay the moment I’ll have to go through that door again”

This time she lost all joy and raised her head from what she was writing on her report to look at him.

“You’re strong enough to leave this place, you know”

“Leave where ?” He asked.

“Somewhere you’ll find who you really are”

“Does that somewhere include you ? ‘Cause you should know I won’t go without you”

She walked up to him and took his hands.

“Save yourself while you still can, Winter” She sadly replied.

“What about you ?”

“I’m just … collateral damage” She exhaled.

He gently pressed his forehead to hers.

“I promise I’ll come back for you after that last mission”

“I’ll hold you onto that”

He planted a soft kiss on her lips, making her forget once again where they were and what their reality was.

“I’ll take you to Greece” He whispered. “Just the two of us. Wouldn’t that be great ?”

“It’s a date” She grinned, making him laugh.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. We’ll get out of here” He swore. “And I’ll take you dancing under the stars of Mykonos”

He didn’t know then that he would never have the occasion to keep that promise. They would have more moments, stolen from the chaos of this place, but nothing more. Weeks later, he would hear rumors about treason and compromising positions. He would understand too late they meant her. She was his weak point, and the Winter Soldier couldn’t have any weaknesses. She was disposable, he was an assassin with superpowers. All the recordings they had proved he no longer could be operational so long as she was still breathing.

“Buck, you alright ?” A voice suddenly spoke in the agonizing silence.

He turned around to his friend, brushing the tears he didn’t realize had started to fall. Standing in the empty room, he couldn’t move away from the dried patch of blood on the floor.

“Yeah, I just need a minute” He shook his head, trying to make the painful memories disappear.

The man behind him began to inspect the place, searching through scattered papers around a desk.

“Dr. Y/N Y/L/N” He read.

Bucky closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. The simple sound of her name was enough to widen the open wound inside his chest. He sat on the examination table one last time, without her. Forgetting he wasn’t alone, he let himself wander into his most precious memories. He remembered the taste of her lips, the smell of her perfume and the touch of her skin. Every detail engraved in his head forever.

“Did you know her ?” The person asked.

“Yeah”

The man stopped what he was doing and observed the former assassin for a solid minute. He looked heartbroken.

“Bad memories ?” He inquired.

“Not in this room” Bucky sadly smiled.

“What happened ?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Steve”

The Captain hesitated for a moment but didn’t push. He was aware his friend was still healing and whatever the place was, it was part of his pain.

“Is she dead ?” He only questioned.

He gulped and tilted his head backward to keep the tears at bay. “They took her away from me” His voice cracked when he spoke. He was not able to stop the violent sob that escaped his mouth. He wanted to say so much more but the lump in his throat was far too heavy.

“I was too late,” He whispered. “I promised I’d come back for her but I was … too …”

His shoulders started to shake as tears ran down his bloodshot eyes. Steve rapidly closed the distance between them and hugged his friend, letting him express his sadness. They stayed there until he was calm enough to take a deep breath.

“You ready ?” The Captain inquired.

The broken soldier silently nodded.

“Where to now ?” Steve asked him. “You’re free to go anywhere you'd like”

“Greece. I have a date in Greece”

Taglist below the cut

@partypoisonsblog - @tylard-blog1

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #the winter solider x reader #the winter soldier imagine #the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier imagines #winter soldier fanfiction #tfatws #fatws

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