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shawty-writes-a-little · 1 year

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From Eden 3.

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part4]

Darkling x brekker!reader

Summary: Summary: The crows find out about the Aleksander facade, Kaz has very civil reaction to his sister

Word count: 5.3k (sorry it took so long)

An: does anyone know how to get the “read more” thingy? Someone told me but I forgot

—

Jesper quickly stopped y/n crossing his arms at the exit door from the lab given both Wylan and y/n were situated at the lab as a sort of safer space, their cleaner record and Kaz proclaimed their inability to fight. "Slow down are you really alright?" Jesper asked her with furrowed brows as he stood in front.

"Yes-yes huh uh yes..." Y/n nodded frantically trying her best to compose her heavy breath after the dream, which is what she wanted to call it but it did not feel like one. Both Jesper and Wylan sat her down on the sofa again taking their seats on the chairs across her.

"You look a bit shaken y/n are you sure you are fine?" Wylan urged, he was in the lab as she made small talk before drifting off to sleep and she seemed just fine to him then.

"It—it was just a dream!" She exclaimed rubbing her eyes as she tried to settle back, overcoming the feeling. She had a lot of things going on at the moment to figure out herself, being kaz's sister she never had a problem being stoic or hiding something as drastic as loosing the love of your life. Truly, the siblings had mastered not letting any major problem show on their face. However y/n realised her grief was getting heavier than she panned out to be-the dream about Aleksander? Seeing him, his touch in her dream it felt so heavy.

"What was it about? You can talk to us..." Wylan said with a wide smile and comforting tone.

"You have been really offset ever since you got back" Jesper added "Whats wrong? Is it about pekka? The kidnapping?"

"No no-not that no" Y/n shook her head, loosing Aleksander weighed over all her other problems. She had trusted Jesper with a lot of don't-tell-kaz situations before and she was aware even when Aleksander was alive, when she were to break the news to all of them Jesper would be the first one. She wasn't so sure about the demo boy though "Could we perhaps talk alone? Because well I can't have Kaz know."

Jesper firstly was taken aback and confused, she hadn't gotten her hands on a lot stuff ever since she got back to ketterdam what could she possibly have done in this much time. "I won't tell Kaz!" Wylan exclaimed, he knew y/n meant she wanted to speak to just Jesper but he was keen to know.

Y/n looked at Jesper with an unsure look, "I promise! I won't tell him anything I swear" Wylan urged, he knew y/n could not trust him with her secrets not that he had given her a reason, he was just new. But he meant to hear her out.

"You can trust him" Jesper said with an assuring shrug to include Wylan in whatever sordid tale she had. However, as she told them about it, Aleksander, almost getting married. The two just blankly stared at her, out of all the wildest things to ever happen nothing could've prepared them for this.

As y/n finished narrating she sat a few moments in silent as the two just stared at her with wide eyes as if she had declared a new regime "Will you two say something?"

"The darkling?" Jesper asked, to be confirm for one he had to be confirmed eight times if the darkling he knew was the darkling she was talking about and all eight times he'd want her to be wrong. "The darkling? The general? The grisha general?"

"Yes. Yes him." Y/n nodded with her lips curled into a thin awkward smile, she never had to break the news to anyone at little palace given everyone knew of their intimacy however her own friends. Jesper seemed far too stunned than she had originally imagined.

"The shadow summoner?" Wylan asked as well, as he did some hand gestures to resemble him "Kirigan? General Kirigan you mean?"

"Yes!" Y/n confirmed again in a high pitched voice getting irritated by the second as it was getting hard to figure out if they were confused of horrified.

"Almost marrying him?!" Jesper whisper yelled as he looked over his shoulder to the door to see if no one was overhearing. "When did you plan to tell us?"

"I did! I was planning on coming here to say it myself because the letters were too formal-"

"Have you lost your mind?!" Jesper said as he stood up pacing around the room. "Did you not once think what would've happened if Kaz knew about this from someone else and-"

"I never intended to keep it hidden!" Y/n said raising her brows, in truth she never did. However her older brother was complicated and she knew even if she was with a nice white collar man Kaz would have his dramatic theories so Aleksander was far from ideal however she did plan to tell Kaz before everything went downhill. "But—he isn't here anymore. There is no point."

"Kaz is right down the-" Wylan tried to tell y/n if she still planned to let him know.

"I meant Aleksander..." Y/n said interrupting her as he replied with a dejected 'oh' of his misinterpretation.

"You do realise he will find out eventually right?" Jesper asked crossing his arms. "I wish I never asked you what was wrong." He said still panicking as he paced around

"What do you mean? I don't plan on telling Kaz anymore he will make a big fuss about it how would he know?" Y/n asked with an obvious tone.

"He always finds out." Wylan agreed staring off as he realised Kaz would find out about his sister's affairs, worst thing you could find yourself be involved in "I'm sorry but I wish you wouldn't have told me either because when he finds out I'll be involved as the one who did not tell him beforehand."

"Why you wanted to know!" Y/n exclaimed truly surprised by their rather regretful behaviour "Look—Kaz won't find out. I have mastered hiding stuff from him he will not find out from me and the only other people who do know are across the fold. Despite of all that...Aleksander is dead." She said with a dejected huff as she tried to hide it as if it didn't mean anything to her "It doesn't account for anything even if Kaz does find out."

"And to think I almost shot at your husband to be" Jesper said with a playful scoff as both y/n and Wylan shot him a too-soon look. "Sorry" he muttered and sat on the chair across y/n again.

"If I'd known what he was going to do I swear I never would've gotten you Kaz and Inej on the ship that day trust me I did not know he—" Y/n began to ramble as Jesper nodded interrupting her midway.

"Of course!" Jesper scoffed in an obvious manner, he didn't even need to be reassured that y/n wouldn't ever put their lives at stake. "That's alright I know that-it's just well you and Kirigan...I never would've expected that." Jesper had only ever seen her as the girl who begged him to teach her card tricks and how to swing a gun to make you look intimidating, how to tie shoe laces, he had always seen kaz's sister as his own and her making big decisions at all was a bit emotional.

"I know!" Y/n replied exhaling with downcasting her gaze. She knew it was difficult to explain her situation with Aleksander, what he'd done in the past was his past. All she had known of him from when she first knew him wasn't that man, it wasn't the man who made the fold it was the man who'd bring the world to its knees for her, he was her Aleksander but there was no way she could explain that without sounding like a dumbfounded idiot who couldn't see past him. All of that yet after he died she couldn't hold what he did wrong against him because what hurt more is she never got a goodbye, "He hurt a lot of people. He did a bad thing and I do not endorse that" she reasoned and reached out for her side pocket and took a ring in front of the two "But I just—I just can't seem to let go off him" she said as he voice cracked and she held the ring between her fingers, not wearing it, she simply stared at it as if it was his face.

"Your grief is just as valid y/n" Wylan urged as he leaned forward "Loosing someone you loved is difficult and because he hurt people doesn't mean you don't get to grieve. You loved him despite of what he was, you loved him. And however wrong it might sound you-"

"No no it's alright." Y/n shrugged off clearing her throat, she hated being consoled or comforted not because of the sense of vulnerability. From what she'd learned from Kaz she had known that in order to deal with your wearies you never tell anyone in on it. The only way. "I am not going to weep about it all my days I have grieved enough I am alright." She raised her brows with an unserious shrug. Being way more familiar with bottling her emotions than letting it out there was a sense of comfort on holding onto something she'd always known. The only person she would always have was herself, that's how Kaz dealt with everything and so did she. The only person who tried to break these walls of her was Aleksander, would she admit that it worked? But would it matter now? Aleksander was gone, the walls were back up and the unnamed emptiness inside of her grew amongst the heavy weight of his absence.

—

In a fortnight or so Kaz brought back all they'd lost to pekka, not necessarily all whom him and y/n had lost. But still, the crow club however much in ash, they had it back. Their stadwatch off reputation and life back up out of the underground. Settling into their old rooms again y/n could barely recall it being over three days or so, a knock bringing out the most of unexpected of news with a new job proposals for the 'thieves'. "Inside inside inside!" Jesper exclaimed hurriedly as he stood in y/n's way from coming down the stairs. "Don't!"

"What is happening?" Y/n asked stepping back given the obvious fright on Jesper's face it seemed her presence downstairs could be difficult in a way. However there were no sounds of gunshot or fight being heard from down the stairs just a faint discussion.

"Zoya. The Etherealki? She is here!" Jesper explained as he looked over his shoulder warming y/n about it. He had known from the grisha order and poise way of speaking she was a previous little palace resident who must known of the general and y/n like she had mentioned the other day.

"Zoya?" Y/n asked confused, "Nazyalensky? What? What is she doing here?!"

"A turn of events actually..." He chuckled nervously unsure what would be the right tone to lay this news on her "The general is alive." He paused a bit to let her comprehend that "They want us to steal the Neshyener because our general dear has apparently had some modifications over the course of being well dead but at the moment he isn't actually he wasn't to begin with—"

"What?" Y/n asked standing stunned and not capturing any word after 'the general is alive' "He is alive? What?" She repeated the same question yet Jesper did not seem to be joking about it as he nodded "How? He-he is what? Aleksander?! Aleksander is alive?!" She asked in a frustrated tone as all the emotions of glee, anger and dejection went through her in just two seconds.

"Yes that is the news Zoya and her corporalki accomplice brought in they—" before Jesper could finish the news y/n was already moving past him rushing down the stairs. "No y/n wait—" Often he did not keep Kaz's secretl well if only from Inej, Jesper preferred letting her know if he wasn't explicitly told. However he tend to take y/n's secrets to his grave because they had a history of dont-let-Kaz-know between them. Situations Inej could get them out of, however this was the first time that if Inej knew she would be far more disappointed.

At the moment as y/n rushed down the stairs she did not even think what she'd tell Kaz "What happened? Alek—Kirigan is what?" She asked frantically.

"He is alive apparently." Kaz said with a distasteful expression at his mention, already in a bad mood from his affronted dialogues with Inej.

"H-how? How though? Didn't he die-that day in the fold-didn't he-?" Y/n asked still comprehending this mountain of a discourse on her. Wylan shared an awkward frown with Jesper from across the room as she shrugged in replying with a gesture that couldn't keep her from rushing down her.

"The worst ones always make it out apparently." Inej commented with a nod, her belief in santka Alina was enough to fuel all possible despise for Kirigan.

Taking a deep breath in y/n nodded "Huh-so-oh-so that...so that is true?" She asked however it was more of an admission to herself.

Kaz was a bit zoned out already planning on how to steal the Nesheneyer not so quick to pick up on whatever crisis y/n seemed to be having, however Inej caught on "Are you alright, y/n?" She asked her in a soft tone.

"Mhm" she cleared her throat realising the weight of this news in the room, she straightened her back crossing her arms as if she wasn't more concerned about this than the rest of them "Yes I am just-I am surprised how he just—still alive. That—that rascal!" She said with a scoff to seem oblivious on the information she held on. Hoping Nina wouldn't pick up on her heartbeat, however Kaz did. Not on her heartbeat but on the way she spoke, she never often spoke half or delayed words.

Before Kaz could make a remark on that Zoya spoke "If it isn't the wedding bells I hear!" This is what Jesper tried to warn y/n about. Well not that she had volunteered to come down to the war zone she might as well face it.

"Zoya, don't." Y/n scowled hoping she would keep her jokes and remarks to herself because it was a time bomb waiting to tick off.

"What?" Kaz asked as he studied the amused reaction from Zoya that unsettled his sister "What wedding bells?"

"Zoya..." y/n urged again pleading with her eyes, it would be so much better to come up with a lie for Kaz later than have the whole scene unfold in front of everyone, not that she minded everyone but she was still getting over the news she had just gotten of Aleksander being alive.

Zoya looked around the room for once, everyone's expression oblivious as if they didn't know what she meant to imply, they truly did not. "You haven't told them have you?" She huffed.

"Told us what?" Kaz asked raising a sharp brow.

"Yes uh what-what is it that we most definitely do not know?" Wylan added trying to act just as unknown as the rest of them to whatever information was about to follow.

"Now is not the time alright?" Y/n said to Zoya shaking her head at her as she disregarded kaz's question.

"Your sister was about to get married" Zoya said as she smiled at y/n she was clearly delighted to be the one to relay this information, Kaz already had his face scrunched in a frown however Zoya added "To Kirigan."

"What nonsense!" Kaz said as he clashed his cane on the floor and stood from his chair. He did not even need to ask his sister wether this was true or not he practically knew that couldn't simply be true.

Taking a leap of confidence onto kaz's trust in her y/n stepped forward standing next to Kaz as she scoffed in disbelief at Zoya "You make up lies like these about other people is why your own life is so miserable!"

"Oh? I am the one who is making up the lie?" Zoya replied raising her brows at the sheer audacity of her to deny it with such confidence "We had wedding preparations going on for her and the general, resumed due to the winter fete." Nina could tell that Zoya wasn't lying as she pried on her heartbeat. However she kept it to herself truly not wanting to believe that kaz's sister almost married Kirigan. She wouldn't have wanted to believe so for anyone.

"Bullshit." Kaz scoffed once again with his unwavering belief of his sister's way of life, he had been writing letters to her all her time being at the little palace and she would often visit ketterdam whilst there, she never once mentioned the Kirigan. If it was as far stretched as marriage surely she would've told him.

"Do I look like I have the time and patience to fool around a group of thieves?" Zoya retorted.

"Don't flatter yourself it would take eight of you to fool the lot of us" Jesper quipped a bit offended at being referred to as a 'crook'

"Jes." Inej said keeping him from further comments, not that she minded it but the tension over y/n getting married to the shadow summoner was far worse for quips and witty remarks.

"Alright yes sure Zoya! You are absolutely right! I most definitely was madly in love with the general and I was about to get married to him and yet this entire time I did not tell my only brother about it!" Y/n remarked sarcastically throwing her hands in the air in exasperation as if she was genuinely being falsely accused.

"Y/n isn't lying." Nina said this time with wide and confused eyes.

"See!" Y/n exclaimed "Thank you Nina!"

"No—you weren't lying about what you just said. Your heartbeat was steady" Nina added shaking her head to clear when exactly y/n wasn't lying.

"See!" Zoya exclaimed further with the same smug smile she had the entire time.

"Enough of this." Kaz said "Y/n, tell me the truth." He demanded as he turned to his sister who did not say anything further which secretly worried him a bit to even wonder that Zoya was right "Y/n..." He spoke again as his sister looked down to her feet but he leaned lower to follow her gaze.

"It's not that I did not wanted to tell you trust me I was about to-" y/n rambled rushing to her defence as she was aware no amount of denying could let it get past Kaz now. Gasps went across the room yet Jesper and Wylan seemed to be the most shocked as they played it out.

"You..." Kaz seethed as he felt the weight of the world crushing on his shoulders "You imbecile! You bloody imbecile! Do you have any idea what kind of a-"

"Do not raise your voice at me!" Y/n exclaimed furrowing her brows, she knew e was partially in the wrong "Do not raise your voice at me!" She said raising her voice the same volume as his.

"When were you planning on telling me?! At my funeral? Or when I'm in my grave?" Kaz scoffed at her with a million other things and questions to stay brewing inside him, at the moment he was so angry to say it all at once.

"This—this is exactly why I didn't tell you before because I knew you would react this way—this" she pointed between them "this dramatically!" Y/n exhaled placing her palms on her face as she tried to calm herself.

"What exactly was it between you and that heretic?" Kaz asked with a distasteful expression.

"Well" Y/n looked around the room to stall but the horrified faces of everyone just made it worse "We were—romantically involved and it just-"

"What were you even thinking?" Kaz said as his face twisted in disgust and he strolled across the room "No-what was I thinking?" He emphasised on 'I' "Sending you to little palace so you're safer there amongst your own grisha, but this entire time your foolishness was the problem? It was my fault to think you might just act your age and do anything BUT marry the worst possible man to ever walk the land but you exceed all expectations y/n!"

"Stop patronising me! I understand I should've told you earlier and I am sorry. But you are acting as if I committed an unspeakable crime!" Y/n exclaimed to her defence as she shrugged, she never considered her and Aleksander a mistake even after what he did. She simply had far better memories, a life on a more beautiful phase of itself and she did not plan to make it revolve around 'what would Kaz think of this'

"How long has this been going on?" He asked y/n yet when she did not reply with an unbothered expression so he turned to Zoya "hmm?"

"Five years or so..." Zoya said truthfully and tolya gave her look. She wasn't adding fuel to the fire, her intention may have been it but she was just being truthful.

"Four and a half." Y/n corrected rolling her eyes and Kaz's face was almost seething with uncontrollable anger, those around him had only ever seen him like this for a handful of time, so angry that he wasn't even scheming.

"You are so awfully naive" Kaz said with an irritated huff "Who else knew about this?" He asked out and turned at the faces of the rest of the crow, neither Nina nor Inej had any input. Jesper had a rather solemn face as well however Wylan's eyes were darted off everywhere else in the room "Wylan?"

"I did not know beforehand she just told me prior this week and I had no idea it would be something this huge but Jesper and I had promised her we won't tell you." Wylan blurted out, as Kaz has expected.

Jesper shut his eyes in disbelief "Wow" he mouthed at Wylan "Kirigan was presumed dead at the time otherwise we would've surely informed you."

"Oh how thoughtful of you Jesper. Tomorrow if he dies again be sure to hide things from me because what does it matter then?" Kaz rebuked and turned to y/n again "Do you realise y/n? That if all the morons in the entirety of the world had to come together and pick a leader you would surely would have no competition!"

"You are upset and I understand that but you aren't entitled to say whatever that comes to your mind because I did not tell you one thing" Y/n replied as she crossed her arms.

"I have had to protect you all my life." he spits out before he can stop himself. He's never spoken these words aloud. He's always just done it and made sure to never say it, but his emotions are all over the place right now. "I've had to keep you safe from everything so I believe I do have the right to be angry when you do something so stupid."

"I am sorry you did not left me in an alleyway or something when we were younger truly sorry to take up so much of your life!" Y/n scoffed letting out a dejected huff, it was just a bit affronting the way he spoke about having to keep her safe "All you did was have me hide somewhere or send me away to keep me safe—that is even after crow club. To you it is-I am your responsibility before your family."

"I think we are all just crossing lines we don't mean to we can have this conversation later—"Inej tried to reason and have the siblings to stop fighting.

"No let him have at his melodrama." Y/n said with a grimacing "You know instead of all this slander if you had started planning on how we get the Nesheneyer-"

"We?" Kaz stopped her mid sentence "We" he pointed to the rest of the room "We are getting the Nesheneyer. You are not coming with us."

"What? No-what why? All of the crows are going why not me?" She asked a bit surprise that Kaz would exempt her out of nowhere.

"All of the crows did not almost get married to a monster and did not tell me about it." Kaz said as he raised his brows at her in a matter-of-fact attitude.

"What does that have to do with this? You cannot just hold that against me!" Y/n exclaimed in a high pitched voice.

"I can hold that against you. I am holding that against you." Kaz said firmly.

Y/n was getting hugely irritated at Kaz's decisions on how and where she should be situated "Well fine. Do as you must but you do realise you cannot just hold me back? I can come along on my own."

"How so?" He asked in disbelief and total faith she could not get anywhere across borders on her own.

"To serve Ravaka." Y/n replied bluntly, truly wasnt her reason but whatever worked.

"You do realise Ravaka's enemy at the moment is Kirigan himself? The man you were indulged with for five years and almost married? He is a traitor to Ravaka which makes you one as well." Kaz explained.

"We have the same blood so if I'm a traitor then you're a traitor." Y/n replied sharply.

"I can disown you then." Kaz replied with a shrug completely unbothered by the idea.

"You don't have enough time for the papers." Y/n reminded him, being disowned was kaz's very overused threat to her to stop her from doing what he did not want her to. It only ever worked until she was ten later she just came to realise he was always bluffing, even now.

"I will forge the papers." Kaz said having one solution after another, not that he would do it but just letting her know it was possible for him to do so.

"Then I will forge a passport." Y/n replied crossing her arms.

"I will lock you behind ten metal doors!" Loosing his patience to deal with his conversation Kaz exclaimed, he already had a lot more to say to her about going behind his back to run rendezvous with the darkling.

"I would love to see you try let's see if you have both hands by the end of it." Y/n threatened as Nina let out an exhale of 'saints' the siblings were getting on each other's nerves.

"I said you are not going then you are not going!" Kaz said letting out a heavy breath thinking his word would be the last.

"You are such a prick!" Y/n gave him a shove agitated that he wasn't even trying to consider what she had to say.

"I am trying to protect you!" He poked her arm with his cane in response to her shove truly leaving all the patience for a civil conversation.

That was it, the siblings were at each other's throat after that quite literally throwing hands at one another. Kaz held his sister by her collar as she tried lunge at him a few punches or so "You raggedy little man stop trying to sabotage my life!" She yelped as they continued pushing and shoving each other, throwing hands in an attempt to get the upper hand.

"That monster of your you almost married wasn't sabotaging your life?!" Kaz exclaimed poking her with his cane again once she kicked him, he bed a firm upper hand having gripped her by her collar to keep her from reaching to scratch at his face. "Got manipulated for five years almost into a marriage and I am the one sabotaging your life?"

"It isn't what you make it out to be. I dare you say that again-"

"Manipulated. He manipulated you. You dimwit-"

"You son of a bitch—" She was about to swear at him more when he tugged at her hair "Ow. Ow-ow." She struggled yet managing to continuing kicking him.

"We have the same mother!" He reminded her, the rest of them present in the room knew they had to intervene at some point. Inej was the first to take a step. Nina, Jesper and Wylan followed too with much struggle to get the two to separate.

Tolya gave his input as well, he simply lift y/n off Kaz as Nina stood in front of her and the others managed to get Kaz to stop poking at her with his cane "I will kill you!" She yelled at her brother still waving her legs in air to reach him.

"Not if you die first!" He screamed back struggling against the barrier of Jesper, Wylan and Inej.

"Enough..." Nina urged the two of them "Enough of this. Nobody is dying."

Kaz inhaled a sharp breath as he straightened his coat and tried to calm himself "Put me down!" Y/n exclaimed as tolya still had her mid air, and she scoffed irritatedly as she stared down Kaz. She knew if she treaded there same way with him again it would be of no point. She took a deep breath to collect herself as she rubbed her eyes.

"You can throw all the tantrums you want but you are not going with us. It is far too dangerous as it is and how do I know you won't run off to your beloved monster?" Kaz snapped as he attempted to leave the room, not wanting to have any more of this conversation he was already disappointed and mad for y/n about her and the general.

"I won't Kaz please that isn't fair I am sorry!" Y/n began with a gentler proceeding tone.

"I said no." Kaz said unmoved by her apology, even if she did mean it he was far from accepting it. He was so good at holding a grudge as it is.

"But Kaz..." her voice trailed off but Kaz was already walking out, she paced upto him "Please I am sorry I truly am. I know I upset you I was wrong and I know should've told you. Believe me I never wanted to keep you from it and I planned on telling you countless times I am sorry. I really am but for now...please let me come along. Please I have never asked you for anything all my life please just this one time let me come along." She pleaded, he could mad at her all he wished after that.

Kaz breathed in heavily as he looked like he was considering it, he looked like he did always, solemn and unreadable but if he wasn't already saying anything he was considering it. "You are not to leave my sight for once-"

"Done." Y/n replied agreeing to whatever terms he had if he planned on letting her go with him.

"You will not leave my sight for once and you are not to pull any stunts." He finished his condition with a serious expression as y/n nodded.

"I promise I won't!"

—

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