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i will never be able to put into words how much the percy jackson books mean to me... they were a formative experience and they truly helped shape me into the person i am today, so the fact that we're finally getting a good live action makes me feel unwell...
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So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.
Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.
If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.
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whenever anyone says anything like “America has horrible food & they dont know how to cook bc theyre such a young country and they suck” its just so obvious that they dont know anything about cuisine or common sense its just so funny to me like
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husbeast watched To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar with me and he LOVED IT and i could just cry little tears of queer joy. this movie means so much to me as a queer person and as a gender nonconforming and a just generally socially non conformative person.
if you haven’t seen it, you gotta.
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its so stupid to me when someone goes up to somebody (recently in the inboxes of palestinians doing their damndest to share information about whats going on with the genocide of their own people and some of yall still cant take being spoon fed this as if its the worst thing to happen to you to just pay attention (but it happens also after any catastrophe yall just rock up to anyone you judge an affected minority be it someone of another race, culture, gender, sexuality w/e)) and you ask "well who should i vote for"
thats your choice
when you turned 18 in the us of a you gained the right to choose whoever the hell you want on the ballot for president. nobody can make you vote for somebody or withold it. you make that decision. you should be able to think for yourself. do some research and stop talking out of your ass because that is literally the least you could do.
and also you shouldn't be going to someone (especially someone who this is of he least concern of) and go "well what do you think i think i have to vote for x because *despite every atrocity they've ever comitted* theyre still better than the other guy!" because what do you want? forgiveness? you made a choice. you also just told somebody that this choice WILL AFFECT that it was the only choice available to you (even though it wasnt). and then act like they should be grateful. like you're doing them a favor.
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Today, I am learning about Malcolm X, and the way he talks about white liberals really struck a chord with me.
I also found this quote from him about John Brown, a white abolitionist who went to war for his beliefs and helped push America towards civil war. I only learned about John Brown from my very racist AP US History teacher, Mr. Green, of Hampton Township, at Hampton High School, in D Hall, who lied to us and said the Civil War wasn't about slavery. And so this'll shock you, but I never learned about Malcolm X in school! Anyway, Malcolm X says:
“We need allies who are going to help us achieve a victory, not allies who are going to tell us to be nonviolent. If a white man wants to be your ally, what does he think of John Brown? You know what John Brown did? He went to war. He was a white man who went to war against white people to help free slaves. He wasn’t nonviolent. White people call John Brown a nut. Go read the history, go read what all of them say about John Brown. They’re trying to make it look like he was a nut, a fanatic. They made a movie on it, I saw a movie on the screen one night. Why, I would be afraid to get near John Brown if I go by what other white folks say about him.
But they depict him in this image because he was willing to shed blood to free the slaves. And any white man who is ready and willing to shed blood for your freedom—in the sight of other whites, he’s nuts. As long as he wants to come up with some nonviolent action, they go for that, if he’s liberal, a nonviolent liberal, a love-everybody liberal. But when it comes time for making the same kind of contribution for your and my freedom that was necessary for them to make for their own freedom, they back out of the situation. So, when you want to know good white folks in history where black people are concerned, go read the history of John Brown. That was what I call a white liberal. But those other kind, they are questionable.
So if we need white allies in this country, we don’t need those kind who compromise. We don’t need those kind who encourage us to be polite, responsible, you know. We don’t need those kind who give us that kind of advice. We don’t need those kind who tell us how to be patient. No, if we want some white allies, we need the kind that John Brown was, or we don’t need you. And the only way to get those kind is to turn in a new direction.”
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got any good country recs there mate? 👀
my computer crashed when i initially opened this ask im in hysterics
BOY DO I EVER THOUGH!!
mostly this is just music i like, so naturally there's the caveat of it potentially not being to your taste; on top of that some of these may be additionally or technically classified as rock, folk, and/or indie/alternative because music genres are...so nebulous and i do not understand them...and sometimes the results when i search for the genre of certain artists just dont make sense or dont apply to individual songs......
so im being a hefty bit generous in calling some of these country, but they do diverge from those typical Beer Truck God America songs that pop up when searching for country while having a similar or related musical style, and hopefully they'll be a breath of fresh air for you!
i put my personal favourites in bold :] these are not ordered in any particular sort of style categorisation so it's a little messy, but each should link to a youtube version of the song! theres a decent array of different styles and tempos here i think
The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie - Colter Wall
Sleeping on the Blacktop - Colter Wall
Johnny Boy's Bones - Colter Wall
Ballad of a Law-Abiding Sophisticate - Colter Wall (this guy again!)
really any Colter Wall song/cover i'm going to be honest
Raise Hell - Brandi Carlile
The Cremation of Sam McGee - Seth Boyer
In the Pines - Danny Farrant & Paul Rawson
Back from the Edge - Lord Huron
Meet Me in the Woods - Lord Huron
Pretty Lavinia - American Murder Song
Murder! Murder! - American Murder Song
Hurt - Johnny Cash
God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash
The Railroad - Goodnight, Texas
Down by the River - The Dirty River Boys
Providence - Poor Man's Poison
Hell's Bells - Cary Ann Hearst
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood (this one's popular)
Blown Away - Carrie Underwood
Bad News - Whitey Morgan and the 78's
The Curse of the Fold - Shawn James
The Wicked - Blues Saraceno
Grave Digger - Blues Saraceno
Little Black Train - Woodie Guthrie (if you've seen Over the Garden Wall, you'll recognise this; it has different lyrics from the cover in OTGW though)
hopefully none of the links are broken or directing to the wrong song :'D happy listening, lmk if there are any particular songs you enjoyed! and if none of these work out, thats totally fine, everyone has their tastes of course
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just stumbled on a woman of clear african descent telling m*appe on his last post to 'keep his head up" and talking about the "clear" difference in "education and class" between france and south america and it's just so tiring cause like??? i don't want to generalize but that honestly seems to be the case most of the time. if you needed anymore proof that europeans, whether they're even a little bit ethnically european or are just born there, tend to think they're just plain better than south americans... now i don't know if this woman has a french parent or was simply born there but there is NO WAY she just called a whole country she clearly knows nothing about uneducated and classless like,,, lady,,, what do you think a lot of white french (and just european honestly) have to say about you??? get a grip honestly 😭😭😭
oh god......
yeah idk what to say. I have no problem with people feeling more connected to the western country that they were born in than their native country but making ignorant comments like that is just insane and honestly kinda pathetic.
It only gives white people a pass to be even more racist towards African/Asian/Central and South American countries when racialized people make comments like that. Like that African-French woman could be subjected to those same comments from a White French person.
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Hitler was an enemy to Black America. There’s no sanitizing him he hated Black folks like the freaking klan READ your freaking history and stop worshipping him, he never loved you!!!
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They Stay Mad!
As I became more and more myself I think the freedom, peace and nonchalance that I exude, were less desirable to corporate America. I recall one job where I was freelancing, I spoke about my on/off lifestyle and how I loved the balance of working for a few months then taking time off to travel and do other things that interested me. I guess I inadvertently inspired my supervisor too much because she quit within a week of me starting the position.
At another job I was given the feedback that I was, 'being too visible'. Now I am not even sure what that means, especially since this comment was dispensed by a Black woman, whom you would assume as dark as she was, would have more carefully about the repercussions of basically telling another Black person to be invisible.
You will note I have used the term "supervisor", because someone else being my boss is a mentality that is far behind me, and mostly in any of the positions I am in I am not even really being supervised. I am so autonomous, I don't really need to be told what to do, I figure out what needs to be done and I proceed to accomplish that.
This same mentality might also be a deterrent to potential employers, I am not ever trying to hide who I am, and what I bring to the table. I am also not masking that as I get older, I get Blacker, queerer, and freer, adding non-binary and my elaborate sense of style to that mix probably isn't helping any. But I will not apologize for who I am, and the caliber of work I bring is clearly documented in the very impressive resume I have. What I wear, who I go to bed with, who I go to bed as, and the length of my hair have nothing to do with my ability to do a job. #fullstop
The fact is that working in corporate America while Black, part of the thing you need to navigate is white people's comfort. And that's not the kind of shit the career coach tells you. I also wasn't really told when I started out, that I should lean more into nepotism to get work than getting work plainly based on my merits and experience. This is something I can never truly resolve because its just not in my nature to ask folks about something that I have easily and readily done for myself in the past. I also don't like being beholden to folks in that way when I should be perfectly capable of acquiring a position based on my own qualifications. But that isn't the world we live in anymore.
The thing that is so hard for me to resolve is I recall a time on several occasions where I went in, interviewed for a position and started either the same day or very soon thereafter. And in quite a few of these same cases I later got offer letters from these companies, so clearly whatever I was laying down, someone was picking up.
This added to the confusion of the seven year drought that I had. I applied for hundreds of positions and interviewed for dozens and didn't land anything. My charm, poise and well articulated interviews hadn't really changed, but I think the world had. And a place I had worked for previously for nearly a year, got a offer letter, and had a friend refer me to, who was currently working there, I didn't get it. He was as confused as me. As the gunslinger says, the world has moved on. I need to decide if I want to even bother catching up with it.
Because a world where I am not judged on the contents of my character, but on something physical that I may or may not have control over is not really a world I want to participate in on any level. This kind of world is one that breaks spirits and prefers drones to unique voices and perspectives and frankly my dear, this is something I could do without.
[Photo by Brown Estate]
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I know they’re probably not going to go into this (which i understand, there’s only so much time in an episode and they’re telling a different story) but I think about Al’s background a LOT. Get ready if ur in the mood for a read.
To be a mixed Black person in America is a…bizarre experience. You come to realize that due to the coincidence of your genetic makeup, white folks may divulge information that they keep so closely guarded from the ears of “more obvious-looking” black folks. Im gonna bring it back to Alastor, but lemme give some personal context. I’m mixed with Filipino, so I’m pretty obviously not white, yet my ambiguous ethnic makeup in a predominantly white suburbia seemed to make white peers and people feel much more at ease in relaying their criticisms or prejudices of black people to me. I would hear someone feel comfy enough to spew vitriolic racist shit with me, then toe the line like a circus acrobat when around someone a few shades darker in skin tone and a few coils curlier in hair texture. It was constantly infuriating and holding my tongue was a practice to both investigate someone’s true nature and preserve my own safety. I did abandon that method of navigating life in America, and experienced the switch-up white folks made when I started ‘broadcasting’ my blackness. (E.G. beyonce pre vs. post Lemonade). The criticisms and prejudice confessions just came less often, til I saw them being caged up completely after white peers experienced backlash from me. After they realized “OH this bitch is a n*****!?”
Now this is from someone who is brown, but i also wanna talk about my white-passing cousin with a similar racial makeup as Al, who is from the south and oh BOY. (Let’s call him J for this post’s purposes). J’s navigation though simple daily life is such a constant contradictory experience, of which he is still working through in therapy. I think of one moment when he was manager at retail gig and his boss told him that whenever a Black customer enters, it’s policy to give them “exceptionally attentive customer service”. Essentially, “follow that n***** around”. This is just one modern incident of when J would hear the quiet part out loud, despite his Blackness, because his appearance was white enough to make white folks drop their guard. Eventually, my cousin and I took to the same direction where we used our advantage of disarming white folks against them when the time came. We would keep note and record of racism and unlock a sort of “this you?” when the opportunity to expose that person’s true nature came. It’s pretty vengeful thinking ngl, but it is really REALLY hard to resist exposing an asshole rather than attempting to teach an asshole to change their ways. Especially given that such an attempt is an ARDUOUS uphill battle. The experience of KNOWING the truth about what someone thinks of your people, and being opened to opportunities and information that you would not have access to if the chance of your genetics was only slightly different is bIZARRE, horrific, and fuel for constant inner turmoil. (It sucks y’all)
Now back to Alastor; to have been a mixed person in the Deep South in 1930s America—it’s not too difficult for me to imagine how traumatic and convoluted that experience must have been. Especially when legally and socially, things were so much more Black and White. And when you’re on the line in between that, when society does not prepare a place for your existence, it can be SO isolating. You may consider the absurdity of such an arbitrary method of determining class, status, and/or caste much earlier in life than peers, which only further isolates you. You hold a resentment of society now that you know exactly how the other side is operating to ensure your oppression.
And then I think of Al’s weird ass moral code. How he arrived in Hell and (according to Mimzy) began killing overlords with reckless abandon. This is someone who likely had to develop the cunning to navigate 1930s Deep South America as a mixed, murdering, psychopath without getting caught by authorities who are already gunning for you. And now he is in Hell where the rules of society have gone up in smoke and he can fully embrace his rage, resentment, and vengeance. A desire to burn down the powerful people of the world can be accommodated and ANY previous inhibitions can finally be released. The morality of rising above someone by cutting them down (instead of developing emotional/spiritual healing) has become the easier and satisfying option. Finally the opportunity to show the power-secure villains of the world how easily you can tear them down when nothing is holding you back any longer.
TLDR; The trauma of racism in America is pretty sufficient cannon fodder for a severe psychotic break, the development of socially debilitating behaviors and isolation, and a quest for profound vengeance. So maybe that can explain some of the enigma that is Alastor.
And this is just ONE facet of Al. I didn’t even get to bring up the isolation that comes with being an aroace nonbeliever in the 1930s Deep South. Like FUCK. I’m a mixed, aroace nonbeliever from a modern day conservative town and yall….what a weird experience for sure lol but anyway lemme get back to my life. Whole point of this was—-WHAT AN INTERESTING FUCKEN CHARACTER TO THINK ABOUT
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