#but i am OUT

[corpsentry]

at the asian american studies sponsored movie screening i run out of my seat to press a button for the presenter and you look away, not in shame, but in anger

go make your own movie.

One where you’re the star

and everything’s my fault

the way you want it to be. I know, it’s easy

to let someone else hold this grief

and sit in the bathtub,

all dressed up to go to the party.

Maybe in this movie it’s your party

and I the party crasher,

holding cymbals and a baseball bat, et cetera.

But we don’t stop getting older when we’re angry

and you’re only twenty,

can’t listen to lullabies at night,

can’t sleep without a blanket

over your head like you’re scared

of your own shadow. God, go

write your own movie.

You could do it,

you’re still

pretty. Angry? Me too.

The bathtub’s overflowing,

the bathroom’s flooding

with whatever you couldn’t say

to the poet with their palms glued shut

in a cheap simulacrum of prayer.

Didn’t you say you were tired? Angry? Me too.

Upset? Unhappy? Me too. Hungry? Lonely? Me too. Me too.

Standing barefoot in the grass

I remembered the month of bad weather.

How I parted the fog with broken hands each night,

looking for your voice.

Oh, I will not forgive you.

Not like this.

With your fingers splayed

against the brute February sky,

lips cracked open like windows,

waiting, like you always are, for me to say the first word.

#my writing #my words #there are many reasons i like tumblr. for example the number of people who keep getting older is very impressive #but also it is nice because unlike my goddamn poetry account (self inflicted damage) half my friends irl do not follow me here #so i can put this poem down. it’s not public grief here it’s anonymous grief! woo #anyway i have just survived possibly the most brutal four weeks of my life and this is including getting dumped a week #before the dance concert in which my ex and i were in more than half the items together. this is including that #but i am OUT #and this poem was written while i was still in but i am O U T #lord being hurt and hurt and being mature and brave and smart makes your HR voice get really good #not by choice #for survival purposes #i am wondering if i should get this laptop. as my water bottle exploded and destroyed my old laptop #i think i will do it #yes. i think so #it is time to start taking care of myself. and so on #so here’s this poem. i wanted to share it because it’s raw and unedited and it has some lines that i think are neat #if it makes you feel some stuff that would make me very happy

[memento-mori-amor-fati]

My divorce is FINALIZED!

#it only took a few years and a lot of tears and a great lawyer and some time in a shelter #but I am OUT #🎉

[porcelain-rob0t]

on identity, healing the inner child, fursonas, and cringe culture

#art #digital art #my art #fursona #personal comic #furry #wolf #i had a werewolf phase when i was 8. i would howl at the moon and i would grow my nails out and chew them into claws #comic #webcomic #web comic #comics #comic artist #indie comic #this will probably be included in a zine later #cringe culture is dead #i am cringe but i am free

[dentpx]

I’m actually kind of amazed how many people do not understand this concept

#zoeposting #literal best thing to put in my dating profile I am weeding out the weak

[itsays]

"life as a 22 year old mother of 3" "life as a married 19 year old couple" *video of mother daughter and grandma making reference to how they were both moms at like 16* *21 year old girl flex video about how she's a mother of 4* *couple whose entire personality is having 10 kids before turning 30* "married my highschool sweetheart at 18 and now i have 8 kids at age 25" "what i do in a day as a 19 year old housewife"

#MAKE IT STOP I WILL RIP OUT MY EYES AND EARS THIS IS A THREAT #people reblogging this consider this... I AM NOT USAMERICAN STOP THE MADNESS

[rat-presenting]

You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am

#textpost #I am not a morning person I never have been my sleep schedule is 11 pm to 11 am and. man #usually I wake up somewhere in there and fall back asleep whicu is when the nightmares start #it’s been awhile since I had one of those nightmares too I was starting to think I’d grown out of that but. no

[canisbeanz]

Silly doodle bc it was the first thing I thought of when I saw Pomni.

#ik the yellow things are probably pom poms but I love bells so here we are #i'm so happy the pilot is out #now i can stop rewatching the first teaser lmao #the blue hand may or may not be on the wrong side bc I am directionally challenged #the amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #tadc caine #my art #canis art #artwork #digital art #glitch animation #the fool jingled miserably across the floor

[give-soup-please]

raise a glass to the posts you love that end up deleted. to the fanart and fanfics you lose track of and can't locate. to the blogs you used to look through that ended up unexpectedly disappearing. to the things you didn't archive because you always assumed they'd be there.

#personal #i am having feelings about not being able to find everything i set out to find #or in my case- rediscover #i'm locating and reblogging a few GO posts that might otherwise be lost to time and other forces

[flowersforvax]

vanilla extract might be my favorite new meme

#the wheezing laugh i let out every time i click on vanilla extract #so stupid lmao #shitpost #vanilla extract #tumblr polls #memes #my post highlights #captain's log one hour after posting: 600 notes i am. afraid. #250 #500 #1k #2k #5k #10k #20k

[miscellaneousrenaissant]

Looking forward to today's episode lol

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #marcille donato #senshi of izganda #chilchuck tims #laios touden #art #god I am out of practice #it's been one million yearsss #TIL how to make brushes in CSP

[midnight-coffee94]

No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly

#the good place #i'm binge watching it again and it just takes me out so hard #i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote #the idea that those who hurt you are capable of being better people and then seeing them change and grow just hits me right between the rib #who am i kidding it stabs me like the senators stabbed Caesar #anyway #icy does a tag ramble

[stil-lindigo]

hobie motherfuckin' brown!!!!!!

#i am so normal about hobie brown (lie) #what the hell has this movie done to me #i have taken art drugs #cant. stop. drawing him. oh my god #its hard to tell but the webbing behind him spells out his name #my anticapitalist king. im sorry but i /will/ be purchasing a poster of you #hobie brown #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman #spiderman across the spiderverse #stillindigo art

[variksel]

i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media

#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia #i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god #its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way #how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out #vent #rant #idk

[imperatoralicia]

Just having some drinks at the local saloon.

#stardew valley #spoilers #stardew valley spoilers #stardew valley 1.6 update #drinking mayonnaise #also this was during a green rain day #so folks were already freaked out #i am making things worse on purpose haha #anyway i'm obsessed with the fact that you can drink mayo #and i enjoy that i'm properly shamed for it

[pengychan]

"Oh the media being biased/silent on Gaza is a conspiracy theory"

I am a literal journalist and this is what happened when I pitched an article to a magazine I write for:

We covered conflict before. We denounced PMs' positions as wrong before. But this is where the editor balks - anything that makes it look even vaguely like we might, possibly, support Gaza. Even if the article itself would not have been an opinion piece, but a news feature about events on the ground.

We have free press, baby! But avoid the matter entirely if you can. It's delicate and depressing, why would you talk about it? Don't rock the boat. Be quiet. You don't need to go there.

Self-censorship is alive and well.

#gaza #free palestine #also to be clear #i am not that naive #i knew precisely what the difference was #compared to the attack on Ukraine #but I wanted them to spell it out

[luthienne]

extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

#when is out i am tired of through #k.txt