#but i don’t know how to stop it

[jittyjames]

ptsd is being such a bitch to me tonight guys. your girl is not doing well.

#i don’t want to feel this way #but i don’t know how to stop it #i just feel myself spiraling out of control again and all of these thoughts keep coming with it #it wont leave me alone #i want it to leave me alone #i don’t want to go on more meds bc they fucked me up even more and i want to be able to think #but my heart has started pounding so quickly again that i can’t focus on anything else #i feel so empty and weird and vague #december is always a bad time and it’s hard when i don’t have class or work as a distraction #i’m always on the verge of crying and #i just do all these breathing techniques that don’t work #and i just lay in a ball on my bed shaking and hurting #you know it’s bad when even writing doesn’t calm me down #ocd combining with ptsd is a hell of a thing #how can you calm yourself down when you’re not thinking rationally and it won’t leave your head #part of me just wants to panic and get it over with but i feel like if i start i won’t be able to stop and just simply fly into hysterics #idk #just haven’t felt this bad in a while #i just want to get out of my head so bad #i wish i could turn thinking off #sorry i know y’all aren’t my therapist and i should get my own #but im still on my parents insurance and i don’t think they would allow that #i don’t mean to vent #i just feel really hopeless and shit rn #anyway #i’m going to try to sleep and hope it will be better in the morning #it wont be tho lol #nothing is ever better #bc the universe and god hate me

[suoulfillem]

i’m so tired of being me. i’m so tired of feeling depressed and like nothing is ever going to work out and it won’t work out because i can’t even push myself to try. i wish i could just try. i wish i had the motivation and drive and enough want to just. do anything

#b.txt #I get out of bed and eat and that’s all I can ever get myself to do #I don’t know how to do anything else anymore #I’m so tired of it #but I don’t know how to stop it #I’m so tired of being this way #why am I like this #I’m so tired of being like this #i dont even think I’m worthy of getting help #I’ve tried so many times to ask for help and I’ve never been given it #and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even want to give it to myself #I’m tired #idk where this has come from I just suddenly feel very. helpless #like it can’t get better #I’ve been in this cycle for months #and I’m still here #what’s the point #I’ve never seemed to see the point in trying

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

#autism #neurodivergent #adhd #fun facts #GOD I’m such an idiot #anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :( #I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact #that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :( #it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club #or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him #or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom #no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world #sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know #and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care

[yuwuta]

satoru physically withers and crumbles every time you return his belongings. he doesn’t know how to tell you that he can only accidentally on purpose leave his glasses on your nightstand, or his jacket on your couch, or his shirt in your laundry so many times before he loses his mind. every time you don’t take he bait, he folds into himself and wonders why you don’t love him anymore and it costs him $22.50 to hear ieiri tell him to suck it up and use his words because he literally has to buy her company (and drinks).

but when you do take the bait, when you do wear his things, satoru thinks it’s all worth it. he can’t explain why it does what it does to him. it’s a sinister kind of possession he wants to have over you, knowing you’re your own person, free to do as you please, but also knowing you’re caged in him. it’s a lovesick kind of gooeyness that melts his heart seeing you fumble with the sleeves of a sweater that’s too long for you. it’s the vision of you seeing you drowning in him—in his clothes, in his things, in him, in him, in him. he’s selfish, he wants to consume you in as many ways as possible, wants you to drown in him, would die happily knowing you were one tenth as enraptured by him as he is with you. he doesn’t know how or why or when you gained so much power over him, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want you to ever stop, so if he has to keep pretending to leave his clothes and bags and glasses around then so be it.

#i don’t know how to explain that satoru’s love is so. beautifully consuming #he loves and loves and loves and he doesn’t even think about it it’s mindless it’s second nature #and sometimes he stops and pulls back and gets shy about how much you mean to him and how bad he wants you #he doesn’t know why you have this power over him but he doesn’t mind it and he wants more of it all the time always #oh…. my sweet sweet lover boy #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo fluff #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk imagines #jjk smau #💌.satoru

[daeyumi]

i love it when ppl put kirby into desserts

#kirby #hoshi no kirby #kirby of the stars #kirby fanart #oh no i don’t know how to tag for kirby i’m so sorry kirby fans (i’m kirby fans) #daeyumi art #thanks for the request! #anyways fun fact i can’t stop buying the re-ment kirby blind box sets where he & his friends are sculpted with all the lil themed foods #agh it’s way too cute & kirby is one of my absolute fave characters ever #anyways i have too many kirby figures now cuz they’re all so cute & now i have to be really picky about what kirby figures i buy lol

[petrichara]

Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

#growing up #girlhood #grief #I saw a childhood friend yesterday #she was working #and after twelve years of knowing her it had been a year #her hair is longer #her smile brighter #and the intense sincerity of the happiness we shared for one another was heavy and freeing all at once #I don’t know when we stopped playing #and I know life has gotten in the way #but at some point all our dreams became options #with the life I choose daily I am happy #and still #I wish we could go back once to when nothing mattered but how fast you could run #childhood friends #they know you even when you don’t know yourself #mine

[anna-scribbles]

a NORMAL comic i drew BY MYSELF with NO HELP from @hamsternamedmarinette . in case u were wondering. <3

#HAAHAHA MY TURN!!!! #my turn as a stop on hamsternamedmarinette’s great american mutuals road trip 😎 #sorry about marinette’s knitting fingers. i don’t know how to knit #ml #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marichat #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #my art #and ONLY my art ‼️ don’t get it twisted ‼️ #happy 42nd birthday adrien<3

[nightlocked-in]

“peeta is bisexual” you guys are losing the vision. peeta isn’t even straight. katniss INVENTED sexuality for him. whatever katniss identifies as, he’s like “yeah, i’ll take that one” no questions asked

#katnissexual #i’m joking btw #and i agree with yall #he says you’ve ruined all other women for me #yeah twink we know #the hunger games #katniss everdeen #thg #nightlocked-in #everlark #peeta mellark #hunger games headcanon #hunger games incorrect quotes #thg incorrect quotes #bisexual peeta #peeta what’s your sexuality? #idk #what do u mean u don’t know #i’ve never thought about it #well i mean… do you like guys? do u like girls? #he thinks for a second…. girl #just one #katniss he says #i’m convinced in modern au’s when he’s dating someone else he just pictures katniss when fucking and then feels horribly guilty for it later #peeta why don’t you look at me during sex? #huh? oh glimmer uh… i just get distracted by how uh… good it feels. yeah that haha #katniss was his first love in every thing and not only was she his first love she was his ONLY love #so he’s never even considered being attracted to girls besides her #so when he tries to date he finds girls that are objectively attractive but on a scale of 1 to katniss they are still 1’s to him #and that never stops being a problem

[queenofinys]

Paradise on my right, Hell on my left, and the Angel of Death behind

#this is so deeply sinister #i don’t even know how to tag or caption it #but i couldn’t stop thinking about it #duneedit #dune #dune: part two #paul atreides #timothée chalamet #javier bardem #stilgar #adaptationsdaily #scifiedit #filmtv #filmtvcentral #i think this quote is from the bible and not from dune but i've only read dune so #maya edits

[theminecraftbee]

continuing my decked out obsession: can I say that giving each hermit a cubby to decorate is FANTASTIC and I’m loving how much personality each one I’ve seen has? iskall’s being full of iskallium, stress’s being beautiful and pink, zed’s being a slightly horrifying version of his face, joe’s being a recreation of the guppy geyser… I can’t wait to see what everyone else makes their cubbies into, it’s another little aspect of how personalized decked out 2 is and I love it.

#hermitcraft #plus I suspect we’re about to see those cubbies A LOT #I don’t know how to express how addicting decked out looks #and how much fun it is to watch people play it #this is going to only be stopped from hitting tcg fever levels by the limited number of frozen shards #and even then…….

[hunrising]

What’s baffling to me is that according to what western governments/media said these past days, hamas shouldn’t have attacked civilians in response to the violence they’ve been suffering for decades because it violates international laws, and I agree, civilians shouldn’t have been victims of an attack like this. However now, according to those same people, Israel has the absolute right to defend itself and have no other option but to respond aggressively, no matter how many civilians get caught in the crossfire, and thus also violating international laws? I’ve been racking my brain to see if I’m missing something, or if all of these politicians and journalists are intentionally contradicting themselves in order to please each other?

#I’m sorry I know I keep going back and forth with the topic but 1) I genuinely can’t stop thinking about it #and it feels wrong to stop thinking about it #and 2) I’m truly trying to understand how they can get away with lying and openly saying #‘we’re okay with the ethnic cleansing of palestinians’ #i understand the reason on their basic level (they do not care about brown people) #but surely they should at least pretend that they do? #I don’t know I feel like I’m being gaslit on a global level rn #because I know that as brown/muslim people we are never 100% safe in the west but this feels like it’s on another level #palestine

[wybienova]

dream visit (nostalgia) - a 2nd anniversary katfl comic

#wooo wooo yayyyy uayyy happy anniversary #happy birthday elfilin and elfilis my beloveds #kirby #elfilin #fecto elfilis #idk if i should tag this as forgo #katfl #LOTS of talking abt this piece in the tags below #i wanted to do some kinda thing and I got this idea for a comic #so i just kinda went in and did it messy #not really worrying too much about how it looked #and I like how it came out I think #even if elfilin looks kinda bad at some parts #kind of a sequel to my old dream visit post? #that one I gave elfilis/forgo the tunic script but I didn’t feel like doing it this time #this one i was kinda thinking about like. ok #identity and stuff and how it differs for them #i know forgo and elfilis are 2 separate entities #but i like drawing elfilis #so i think in this dream scenario where they can kinda be whatever #they’d show themself as elfilis #because that’s what they are trying to become again anyways #and really elfilin is only a small part of the whole #so forgo IS far more ‘elfilis’ than elfilin would be #similarly they just keep saying ‘i’ whereas elfilin sees that form and thinks ‘we’ #forgo being kind of self centered: they don’t need elfilin to achieve their goals #that being destruction which elfilin would inhibit #except they do to actually become elfilis again #idk whatever I should stop talking #wybs art

[apotelesmaa]

WxS gathering around tsukasa and going “tsukasa is the type of guy to say ‘they’re right behind me aren’t they’” “tsukasa is the type of guy to see a box of donuts and wiggle his fingers while going ‘don’t mind if I do’” “tsukasa is the type of guy to shout eureka when he solves a problem” “tsukasa is the kind of guy to sleep like honk shoo honk shoo” and he gets so mad because he can’t even defend himself. they’re 100% right.

#it’s the emulating actors from a young age -> that’s just his personality now pipeline #tsukasa voice if I don’t say eureka how will people know I’ve solved a difficult problem!!! stop laughing!!! #project sekai #yet another ‘I was gonna draw this but I don’t think I’m gonna in the near future so I’m posting it barebones’

[courtpheasent]

Raph has been voted #1 Chair three years in a row, and he’s not giving that up anytime soon.

#I just wanted to draw these guys ngl #am I exaggerating their size differences? #yes. #will I stop? #no. #this was just an excuse to draw them all together ngl #might do a comparison sheet of how I draw them later idk #Just as an excuse to draw all of their headshots again and point out all my favorite design details #I KNOW. they don’t have snouts in the show but shhhhh #also as someone who has lived around snappers his entire life. those babies have big ass tails so #that’s why he has a long one #fight me #anyway #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #raph rottmnt #mikey rottmnt #leo rottmnt #donnie rottmnt #chair Raph tag

[clannfearrunt]

DED USES BOKU??? And also has the fucking Yo I’m a DJ type speech quirk I’m dying this is. Something

#I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t this I don’t think #HEY PEARL!!!! #Con stop yapping #Squid 2 the evolution of the squid #dedf1sh #how are we doing dedf1sh nation. #hopefully they don’t play it up to an obnoxious degree but we won’t know until we see more dialogue #splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon side order

[turtleblogatlast]

My favorite reading of Leo’s “indubitably” tell is that it’s not actually a tell, and Leo just plays it up as one so he doesn’t get called out when he really wants to hide something.

Especially since throughout the series we see him lie and trick multiple times without saying the word once.

I like to think that one time when they were kids Leo happened to learn the word “indubitably” and because he tends to repeat new words he learns, he ended up using it at the same time as he was caught lying. He uses the word again later in another lie, and that’s where the association comes from.

OR- counter argument: “indubitably” is one of his tells, but only for unimportant things, especially when said to family. Long plays, particularly ones with villains, are in a different category in his head.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #bro said ‘oh everyone thinks that’s a tell…well I won’t stop them then 💅’ #lil schemer #absolutely a one off gag type of thing but fun to take further #listen my boy is a lil manipulative and u know what he’s so valid for it #dude pulled off the Lair Games 4D chess play like it was nothing he 100% knows what to do to get people to believe what he says and does #actually while we’re down here can we take a moment to recognize how good a planner he is as well #because in many unhappy returns when he’s setting up he and splinters battle #he (on the SPOT) decides to incorporate Big Mama’s guards into the fight as well…because he came up with a plan to use them on the kraken #like please that’s so???? nah I don’t think I’ll ever get over that