Tumgik
#but i just really need some space & some time just for myself
thewertsearch · 1 day
Text
TG: i thought about taking his sword TG: when i was there TG: but i couldnt TG: couldnt really bring myself to try to pull it out it was too weird
Even if you did, you’d have to break it in order to wield it - and unlike your regenerating sword, I don't think Bro's katana will be very effective as a half-blade.
GG: dave we have to stop him!!!!! TG: what GG: jack! […] GG: why dont you stop jumping around through time like a maniac and stop being like a hundred daves all the time and come to my house so we can make a plan to kill him??
I’m liking this new, more pro-active Jade. With Rose distracted by Doc Scratch's games, we probably need a new leader, and I think Jade could fit the bill.
However, I don’t think any number of Daves would be enough to take Jack down. That’s exactly what Aradia tried, and we all know how that turned out. If a thousand telekinetic necromancers can't put a scratch on him, I don't think Dave will fare much better.
TG: besides we cant beat him TG: look what he did to bro and davesprite together TG: im at the top of my echeladder with all the fraymotifs and i stand no chance
Dave’s already stronger than Future Dave was when he came back to the past. His progress is astounding - but the session's power creep has got so bad that it doesn’t even matter.
Like - let's imagine, for a second, that all four kids attacked Jack with their full power, right now. If they all synergized perfectly, taking full advantage of John's hurricanes, Rose's Horrorterror connections, and all the time duplicates Dave can make....
Tumblr media
They'd still be reduced to a fine mist.
Jack has inherited a power strong enough to raze the entire Earth, and none of the kids can touch him. Becsprite initially seemed like an opportunity to match that power, Sun-to-Sun, but Vriska, for her own godforsaken reasons, nixed that plan.
The kids have got nothing. Even their plan to cheat by destroying the Green Sun is probably hopeless, because we know it ultimately serves Doc Scratch's ends, not ours. Things are really dire.
TG: only thing we can do is hold out until the scratch GG: what is the scratch? TG: guess i shouldnt really say TG: since you sort of lead the way in making that plan
And then there's the Scratch plan itself, which is apparently Jade's idea - although I'd be extremely surprised if Doc's grubby little fingers weren't all over this one, too.
Opening rifts in space is certainly Jade's department, so I think she's going to suggest it as a counter-plan to Rose's more risky Sun strategy.
TG: if we cant beat him TG: all we can really do is exile him to a place where he cant teleport back TG: which hopefully buys us some time TG: to try to take out his power source in a crazy suicide mission
A two-pronged approach, then. They trigger the Scratch, push Jack through a rift, and then send Rose's dream self out to destroy the sun before he's able to return.
...man, this is such a dangerous idea. Even if it wasn't being influenced by Doc, it'd still set off some huge alarm bells.
Like - sure, destroying the Green Sun might help this session survive, but what about every other session? Don't they need the Sun, to power their non-corrupted First Guardians? I just think we should maybe think for a second before deleting a critical piece of the reproductive mechanism for the entire multiverse.
107 notes · View notes
sailor-aviator · 1 day
Text
Hey.
Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.
So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.
I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.
Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.
I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.
Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.
The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.
How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.
Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.
Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.
Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.
To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.
Nothing but love,
Liz 💛
86 notes · View notes
scoonsalicious · 23 hours
Text
Tumblr media
Unwanted: Chapter 29, Unarmed, Redux - Pt. 4
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 741
Previously On...: Steve made some confessions.
A/N: Finally, resolutions!
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43
Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc
You sat there, staring off into space for several moments. You couldn’t believe that had just happened. Was there no end to the number of times a super soldier would betray you?
Bucky cleared his throat after a few silent minutes. “I’ll… I’ll leave you alone now, doll,” he said. “‘M sure I’m one of the last people you want to see right now.”
He made to leave, but you called him back. “Buck, no,” you said. He turned around and looked at you quixotically. “Stay. We’re not done.”
He swallowed, then nodded, coming back to sit in the armchair next to your bed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. 
“Did you mean what you said,” you asked, looking up at him. “Back in Atlantic City? When you said you were self-sabotaging?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at you in confusion, as if that was the last topic of conversation he expected you to bring up right now. “When, uh… when you broke things off, for good, after Russia, I started seeing Raynor a lot more frequently. Like, two hours a day, every day,” he offered. “I needed to understand why I kept ruining things, especially when you make me so damned happy. It didn’t make sense to me.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, didn’t make much sense to me, either,” you told him with a smirk, but he didn’t catch it.
“She told me, and I’m paraphrasin’ here, that, despite all the progress I’ve made, I still haven’t forgiven myself for the things I’ve done as the Winter Soldier,” he said, fidgeting with his metal fingers. “And, because I haven’t forgiven myself, I can’t see myself as being worth being loved, being happy. So, I did things, behaved in ways that proved I shouldn’t be. Like a, uh… ‘self-fulfilling prophecy,’ she said.
“She said that I created a loop, a cycle, where I kept makin’ fucked up decisions because I kept expectin’ to fuck up,” he continued. “Like, of course I hurt you, because I was scared of hurting you, if that makes sense? She said Carthage was like a mirror. When I sought validation from her, I was really seeking it from myself. I don’t necessarily know if I buy that,” he chuckled humorously. “Feels like it lets me off the hook too easily, but the doc seems to think it makes sense.”
You nodded, considering his words. “I thought you said she was a shitty quack,” you said after a moment. Bucky looked at you questioningly. “I did.”
“Sounds to me like you owe her a ‘thank you,’” you said, smiling at him. “What did she tell you to do about it?”
Bucky shrugged. “She called me a fucking dumbass, to start. Told me real love isn’t about whether or not you think you’re worthy of someone; it’s about working to be worthy of someone, to keep striving to be the best version of yourself for them. She said I needed to learn how to be honest, with you, and myself, to let you know when I’m struggling, to open up so we can help each other carry our burdens, and not hide mine away because I’m afraid.”
“She sounds a lot smarter than you’ve ever given her credit for,” you teased gently.
Bucky snorted. “Never let her hear you say that,” he said. “I won’t hear the end of it.”
“Can I ask you a question?” he said, after a moment of silence. You nodded. “Did you mean what you said, in front of Carthage, that you wished we could start fresh? Build something new? Something better?”
You nodded again. “With my whole heart,” you told him. 
Bucky seemed to take a moment to contemplate your words before he stuck out his hand. “‘M Bucky,” he said.
You scoffed playfully. “What the hell kind of name is ‘Bucky’?” you asked with a grin.
“I dunno,” he said with an answering grin of his own. “What the hell kind of name is Pocket?”
You grabbed his outstretched hand and pulled him to you, slotting your mouth over his and feeling his smile against your lips. “POCKET!” you heard Tony shout from behind the closed door. “He’s been in there long enough! The people demand to know! What the ‘F’ Is It?”
You and Bucky broke apart from your kiss, foreheads pressed together as you both laughed. Yeah, you thought with a smile, the two of you were going to be okay.
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
100 notes · View notes
spicyspiders · 18 hours
Text
peace of mind
Anakin Skywalker x male reader smut
2.1k words
a/n: the reader accidentally sends a vision of his fantasies about Anakin to Obi-Wan. To try and clear his mind, he tries to meditate, but Anakin interrupts. Kriff is used as a stand-in for fuck because Star Wars.
Tumblr media
You knew that attachments were frowned upon. You could practically hear your master’s voice in your head whenever your mind spent too long mulling over what your body knew it wanted. 
At the beginning of your training, you were told that they were natural, but to not let those feelings grow. However, as of late, whenever you would find your mind wandering, you have come to learn that what you felt had grown past anything but natural. 
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Anakin says, pulling you from your thoughts. You really shouldn’t have been all that surprised that he found you, he seemingly had a knack for finding you at your worst, through the force and physically. 
“I’m trying to meditate,” you reply. If only your younger self could see yourself now. You used to hate meditating for how boring it felt, and now, here you were using it to try and work through your problems. 
“Can I join you?” Anakin asks. Though your eyes were closed, his presence felt heavy, a weight you were trying to keep off. 
You let out a soft sigh and unfold your hands to wave at the space in front of your body. 
The walls you have up in your mind keeping Anakin away grow higher and thicker, the man immediately taking notice. In front of you, Anakin lets out a sigh before you feel his presence in your mind. 
“Let me in,” it whispers.
“I can’t,” you send back as your hands clasp back together, “I’ve already embarrassed myself enough today.” Embarrassment was an understatement. You didn’t want to blame Anakin, but it would be much easier to do so. If it hadn’t been for Anakin being so… Anakin, you wouldn't have let the others on the council in on your thoughts. 
“It was just Obi-Wan,” Anakin sends, the words hitting the wall the wall of your mind. You weren’t sure if that was worse or better. At least it wasn’t Master Yoda, you weren’t sure if his old heart could handle it.    
“No one should have seen it,” you respond, verbally this time. Hopefully, with your audible words, Anakin would see how mortifying it felt. 
“Not even me?” Anakin asks, placing his hands on top of yours. 
His touch creates a breach, one for Anakin to enter. You can feel them start to crumble as he pulls your hands apart so that he can interlace your fingers. 
“Let me help you,” Anakin pleads, “you won’t be able to meditate in this state.”
“If you would just leave-” you try to say, but Anakin cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours. His lips are warm on top of yours as he kisses you slow and soft, and his hands are just as warm as they stay interlocked with yours. Even the gloved one is warm, even if encased in the leather is cold metal. 
Your eyes open after Anakin pulls away, greeted by the warmth of his blue eyes. You had stopped looking into them cycles ago after your thoughts had been plagued by the question of how his eyes would look filled with pleasure as you made him moan.
“Kriff,” Anakin breathes before you’re locked in another kiss, this one opposite from the last. 
“I can’t control it,” you say, cutting the kiss off before Anakin can get his tongue in your mouth. You try pulling away to get some distance between your bodies and get the wall in your mind back up, but Anakin is quicker. 
“You don’t need to,” he responds, pulling you closer with an arm around your lower back, “not with me,” he says, pushing you down onto the floor. 
As you finally let go and let your wall down, you feel like a padawan again. Out of control, you give yourself to Anakin as the thoughts you tried keeping at bay flood over into Anakin’s mind. 
You weren’t sure where the thoughts began, but they all bled into the same thing. The latest one, or more importantly the one that Obi-Wan saw, was the expanse of Anakin’s tan skin under your fingers as you mapped out the territory as you disrobbed him. 
“You’re beautiful,” and kriff was he beautiful. It was unfair how his lethal physique was hidden under robes all day. It made you jealous as you pulled the fabric away, seeing what it had kept away from you for so long. 
Your hands run down his smooth chest, fingers grazing a nipple as your hands go down to reach the bulge in his pants. Before your fingers can get his pants off to join the pile of the rest of his clothes, a cool metal palm wraps around the back of your neck to pull you down into a kiss. 
A kiss is what pulls you from your mind to what’s on top of you. It’s much better than what your brain came up with, especially when Anakin’s tongue pushes into your mouth. His tongue plunges your mouth as his hips grind down, his hard cock meeting yours. 
The moan Anakin lets out meets yours, the vibration going past your teeth and down your body right to your cock. Even earlier, he didn’t get to see what your fantasy led to, and instead of sending the thought his way, you find it much better to show him instead. 
To your surprise, Anakin’s body wasn’t all that different from the one you made in your mind. His tan skin was bathed in the orange light of the setting Coruscant sun, making his body look golden and ethereal.  
Once his upper body is exposed, you flip your position so Anakin’s body is between your legs. In this position, it’s so easy just to roll your hips down into his, and Anakin only makes it smoother when he places his hands on your hips to guide you down. 
You could end it like that, but you wanted more. The idea made your mouth water when you first thought about it, and now you finally can put it into action. 
What was in Anakin’s pants was seemingly a new territory. You would tell yourself that at least if you were going to think of Anakin in that fashion, you would not be depraved enough to think of what his cock would look like. Really, it was because you were afraid of how much time you could spend thinking about it.  
The length, the smell, the taste. You knew if you thought of one, it would lead you to the others and get you addicted to what it could be. All that mattered though was what it truly was. The feel of it, even over Anakin’s pants left you eager. Eagerness morphed to satisfaction once his pants were out of the way, leaving no room between you or his cock. More specifically, your mouth and his cock. 
There was already a bead of precum awaiting you at the tip of Anakin’s cock. The salty taste has your eyes slipping shut as it lights up your tastebuds. You try to draw out more by licking across the head and dragging your tongue along the slit. What you get in return is the rich sound of Anakin’s moans, which you feel is a reward enough in itself. 
You force your eyes open to look up at Anakin so you can see the look of pleasure take over his face as you take him deeper into your mouth. His warm blue eyes you had just looked into were dark with lust, his pupils blown wide and nearly swallowing up the blue. 
Your eyes were then exposed to the long column of his neck as his head fell back as your tongue ran along the thick vein on the underside of his cock. You tracked a bead of sweat as it fell down the length of his neck, and it had you wondering if his sweat would taste the same on your tongue as his precum did. 
You pull off his cock with a wet pop and instead of licking up that bead of sweat, you go further down to the base of his cock to suck one of his balls into your mouth. Above you, Anakin moans as your tongue laves over the sensitive skin. When you’ve moved on to the other one, the first is wet with your spit, much like you assume the other will be when you’re done with it. 
You pull away from his cock to watch the rise and fall of his chest as he pulls in breath after breath. Anakin watches you with half-lidded eyes, held up on his forearms. You run your hands up his thighs, past his hard cock, and then up the toned plane of his chest. 
You follow behind the path of your hands with your lips, stopping at each of his nipples until they match the state of Anakin’s cock: hard and sensitive. By the time you’re done with the second nipple, you feel a heavy hand on the back of your neck pulling you up to bring your mouths together. 
Anakin whimpers into your mouth when you run your finger across one of his wet nipples. You’re awarded with another noise, one much louder than the last when you run your nails over the other. 
You bring your hand higher to his mouth, “spit,” you command. 
Anakin sits up and spits into your waiting palm, the string from his spitting getting caught on his chin. 
You bring your hand down to his hard cock, watching the way Anakin hisses when you spread the wetness across the length, staring at the sensitive head. 
Anakin brings his back down to the floor, thrusting his hips up into the wet channel of your fingers. You doubt it was what the Force was intended to be used for, but you use it to keep Anakin’s hips still. You knew Anakin could overpower you if he wanted, but he instead chose to fix you with a heated look on his face, full of need. 
“I’ve got you,” you sent to him through the Force, watching as Anakin relaxed under you. “Good boy,” you send through. Anakin shivers from your praise, making a hot feeling run through your body knowing that you’re the cause. 
You move back down between Anakin’s spread legs to suck his cock back into your mouth. With the warm slickness of his spit, the glide along his cock is much easier. 
Your hand stays at the base of his cock, stroking what you can’t get past your gag reflex. His cock stretches your mouth, making your jaw ache, the pain pushing you on and on and on. 
Spit dribbles past your lips and down Anakin’s cock until the drops meet your fingers. It all creates a slick sound that rings loud in your ears, alongside the sound of Anakin’s moans. 
What brings him over the edge is when you feel the touch of Anakin’s powers along your body. His Force touch lingers at your ass, like he’s pinpointing where he wants to go next. The touch makes you moan, the vibrations sending him into his orgasm. 
Through the Force, you feel the weight of Anakin’s orgasm all around you like it is your own. It’s overwhelming having the taste of his cum on your tongue, and then having his Force touch running across the rest of your body. 
Your orgasm hits you by surprise when you feel Anakin’s force signature on your hard cock, still confined within your robes. It causes you to choke on the cum shooting down your throat. Sorry, you feel the word running through your mind, alongside the images Anakin sends through. 
They’re similar to the thoughts you had, but others come through. Softer ones, like you and Anakin both in bed, sweaty and satiated and coming down in the comfort of each other’s arms. 
The last one you see is a vision of yourself through Anakin’s eyes. It’s from one of the many missions you’ve been on together. You’re smiling in the vision, your face slick with sweat as you cut down droid after droid. It only takes a few moments to recognize the moment as the stupid bet you had made with your clone troopers to see who could take down the most droids. 
You couldn’t remember if you had won, but the whoops and cheers from the clones made it all worth it. 
“You did win,” Anakin says, his face now inches from yours. You didn’t even remember moving. “After I joined in and helped you,” he says with a smirk. 
“I didn’t need your help,” you respond, grimacing at the feel of your wet and sticky pants. 
“I know,” Anakin responds, placing a hand on your cheek, “you are a beautiful fighter and I wanted to watch you closer.”
“I could say the same thing about you,” you say back, turning your face to place a kiss on his palm. You had a feeling you would be watching him much more in the future, for learning purposes to become a better Jedi Knight, obviously.
37 notes · View notes
Text
As the SMP comes to an end in just under a month, I'd like to say a few words of appreciation to you all.
To start, the Cast. You all need a lot more credit than you get. With all of the commands you do behind the scenes of lore, and all the time and effort to make cutscenes, art or cosplay, or even in minecraft, we all thank you for such a wonderful job you do. I started watching Fable SMP during August last year (Sherbert's last sherbathon) and have loved it since the first episode we watched there. Slowly, I managed to get really into it and then the brainrot hit. Though I thank you for it. Without this SMP I don't think I could ever be where I am now. You guys have created a wonderful story that helped me realise things about myself, and you all have created a safe and all-including space here on the discord server. Without that, I wouldn't be as motivated to write, or as confident to talk in VC and even sometimes show my face. Thank you.
And to you, Chatters. Thank you for all you've done to support and uplift not just me, but everyone in this community, to make a welcoming space for new people and assist them in how to quickly catch up to lore in this next month before the finale. As someone who was very nervous first joining this community and to talk on these online platforms, you have allowed me to gain comfortability and grow as a person, fanfic writer who wrote that one prison duo fic, and occasional artist. You also helped me grow comfortable with talking and sometimes even showing my face in VC, especially after I had some not-great experiences in other servers.
So in conclusion, the one thing I have to say is Thank you. <3 yes i was being sappy today, i love you guys <3
42 notes · View notes
Note
We're coming off anon with this one boys. It's long and I apologize but it's been weighing on my mind for quite some time.
There are three things people tend to know me for in this fandom. My art, my fanfics, or my thread on TSBS server. Said thread is a place where I talk about the psychological aspects of the show, as well as do character analyses and sometimes even analyze entire lore uploads for the kicks and giggles. I'm a psychology major, I also have ASPD. I made the thread so I could talk about Eclipse, who at the time I suspected had the same disorder I do and which was later confirmed less than a week after I made the thread. Since then Ruin has also been confirmed as an ASPD haver, which I personally deeply enjoy. It's fun for me to talk about my disorder and relate it to the show since ASPD is really hard to understand. 99% of people are inherently capable of empathy, and about 2% of that 98% lose that ability during childhood. So it's understandably not a very well-understood disorder. It's also a very scary and dark disorder, and I can say that honestly because I live with it. Due to this fact, it tends to be villainized in media, and I am very refreshed by the fact that TSAMS does a good job of not making their ASPD havers raving lunatics with a thirst for blood. 
Anyways, that's just background information. So far I haven't met very many weirdos about ASPD in this fandom. Almost everyone is very chill with the fact that I am a sociopath and I haven't received a ton of weird comments about it. It's a relief since I deal with a lot of open stigma and harassment irl because I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not. However, there was an instance in my thread when I was actively talking about ASPD, and a new member decided to. . . I don't even know. It was creepy and weird, and really uncomfortable. They basically told me that I'm 'too nice of a person to be a sociopath' and that they could tell that I wasn't a sociopath because they see the good in people. They also said that they were surprised that there are sociopathic people and inferred that sociopaths are pretending, whatever that means. They kept going to keep making weird and stigmatized comments about the disorder, as well as continuing to compliment me in a very unnerving way. I think about it a lot because it was very uncomfortable to be interrupted like that in the middle of talking about ASPD. There was the new mod online and participating in the conversation, but they didn't say anything to the person who was actively making me uncomfortable, even though I expressed such in the chat. 
I deal with a lot of stigma and ableism in my day-to-day life, where people tell me that I can't be a sociopath because of really stupid shit. Like the fact, I get along with people or want to help people in the medical field. Or the time-tried 'but you're a woman' comments. I don't understand why the mod kinda just left me to fend for myself and ignored the person causing issues, and while I don't hold it against them, I do have anxiety about this situation repeating itself in the future. It's not easy to talk about a disorder that the average person could not even dream of understanding, and it's even harder when people who don't know you are trying to tell you that your disorder is fake based on flimsy reasoning. It's really invalidating of the actual hellscape I had to survive to be able to even turn 18, and it rakes up my anxiety to a 10 just at the thought of it. There's not a lot of safe spaces for someone to talk about having a dark disorder, and even less for something as rare and misunderstood as ASPD. It's hard enough as it is being a high-functioning sociopath, and I just needed to rant, I suppose. Haha, could make it a "tl;dr even I get offended sometimes."
Anyway, not dropping names, but it wasn't a private matter. Nor am I upset with the mods, it's just a thing that happened that I think about a lot because it's a very rare thing for me to be offended. Glad that the majority of this fandom that I've interacted with has been willing to hear me out ASPD, but I just worry about having a repeat situation like this. It's a very sad thing to witness in this fandom that talks about inclusivity. We can't pick and choose our disorders, and where there are canon sociopaths in the show one would think the fans would try to be a little more educated on the disorder (not directed towards anyone and I appreciate the people who are willing to ask me things about it instead of making assumptions).
.
33 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I finally finished my Victorian Wrapper Dress!
The pattern is the Misses' Wrapper Summer 1893, from Authentic Victorian Fashion Patterns, edited by Kristina Harris. My gosh was it a doozy to follow! The pattern itself had very little instruction, so I had to search for more information elsewhere (which i will link if i remember where because i printed stuff).
I used some bedsheets, nonstretch 100% cotton, and made about 3 or so mockups and still found issues upon making the final version
Noted Issues:
It says to draft based on bust. if you have a large bust but not broad shoulders, only extend the should piece over by half of what you extend the bust by
Locks of tricky placement i needed to think quite a bit about
Should have added buttons on the wrists
Had to figure out the.math for my own ruffles (i did a 2 times multiplaction since i worked with a thin fabric)
i needed to axpand the armhole, and thus the sleeves. Do Not expand the poof part, expand the under part of the arm scye, that's where you need the space.
I may add a button closure on the front as well since it gapes a bit
being just over 5 foot, i did not need to add any height to the dress. at all.
to bind my arm scye i used bias tape!
Overall though? I really enjoyed making this, it took me roughly a month and a half to hand-sew, and i enjoyed myself incredibly!!!!
20 notes · View notes
rainba · 2 days
Note
what if darling cries during sex or aftercare, and once they calm down a bit, maybe apologise for getting too emtional (totally not projecting) and say that they feel so lucky to have their yan/they can't believe that they're here with their yan right now huehehehe i love soft emotional hurt/comfort
kind of on the same note (but not really) what are some awkward moments during with the yans? something about that feels really endearing and makes them more human, y'know?
tank yew for the yummy content :] don't forget to drink water n love yourself a lil you deserve it ( ´ ▽ ` ).。o♡
on that note i should probably drink some water myself...
Awww… I feel like both of the yans would feel a little bad, but they’d try their best to comfort their darling. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
Tumblr media
For Kairos, he'd definitely wrap his arms around you without hesitating and pull you into a loving embrace. He’d press your face into his chest while resting his chin on the top of your head, shushing you and telling you it’ll all be okay– and that he’s so lucky to have you, too. (o´∀`o)
Kairos absolutely loves being able to comfort you– it makes him feel all warm inside, and he can’t help but feel as if he has a sense of purpose as he calms you down and showers you in his love.
To be honest, Kairos would probably end up crying right along with you... Then afterwards, he’d ask if you wanna take a bubble bath with him, or if you wanna just lay down and take a nap/go to sleep...
He’d also try and make you laugh afterwards– but his humor consists of either really dry puns or jokes that require you to be chronically online to understand them. So... I hope you find those things funny too! ┐(シ)┌
If you don't, he'll try to "get a better sense of humor" for you...!
Tumblr media
As for Luka– while he does like seeing his darling cry, that's only when he has total control over the situation and knows that he's not genuinely hurting you. During the times he gets too aggressive during sex, he always feels regretful afterwards and tries to make it up to you.
So, if you start crying when he's trying to be genuine with you, it’d probably be a little awkward for him. ^^;;
Since he doesn’t understand strong emotions very well, he’d be kind of confused as to why you’re crying. Like… Did he hurt you? Did he say something that triggered this?
Luka would stop everything he’s doing and sit beside you as he wipes your tears away with the back of his hands, asking you to tell him what’s wrong. If you say that you just feel so lucky to have him, he honestly will be left speechless.
You're crying… Because you feel lucky? Lucky to have him? Aren't you only supposed to cry when you're upset or in pain?
Crying tears of joy isn't just a myth?
Truthfully, he’d space out for a bit and be lost in his own thoughts, fully trying to process what you said to him. After he spends a few minutes just staying by your side and wiping your tears, he’ll lean in and softly kiss your lips, asking you if there’s anything that you need from him. It can be anything at all– just tell him, and he’ll get it for you. It doesn’t matter how big or small. ( ´ ▽ ` )
If his darling cries after sex often, Luka will slowly get better and better at comforting you– he makes it his ultimate goal to learn how to best care for you and tend to all your needs.
Oh, and...
"...I'm lucky to have you, too. I love you."
(Also, thank U for the concern!! I try my best to take care of myself :3c I hope you and everyone else who reads this also does the same!! Go…… Drink water and love yourself…… (´。• ᵕ •。`))
30 notes · View notes
gayvampyr · 2 years
Text
“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.
#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and#‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but#often do coalign#it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma#which is very common for queer folks#it’s really not an ace-only thing#like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those#feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience#instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours#im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful#my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick#of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan#and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re#‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system#the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’#and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/#misogynistic/etc and not even#acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat#it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time#text post#like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men#for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird#not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important#anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not
4K notes · View notes
zebratimw · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
176 notes · View notes
themthistles · 1 year
Text
i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
128 notes · View notes
sysig · 5 months
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Anyway, back to testing (Patreon)
#Doodles#Portal#GLaDOS#Chell#Curiosity Core#Space Core#Cave Johnson#So many GLaDOS'!! She needs all the <3#And then also featuring some others lol ♪ Replaying 1 really made me want to fill out the cast a bit more!#I'm still the most used to drawing her Portal 2 design tho - which is a shame because her 1 design is so weird!! I like it :D#I still haven't given her a proper study but I do like how in the audio commentary they talk about how she has a feminine edge hehe#She does! They did a good job with her design ♪ And improved upon it in 2 I think :D I still haven't gotten to that audio commentary#I'm so curious as to what they'll say about her there hehe ♫ But I'm still just playing normally for now! I forgot how much longer it is :0#I tore through it the first time so now taking my leisurely time feels funny haha ♪ I am enjoying myself tho :3#Anyway!! Back to what I love about 1 <3 <3 Her tone switch literally Always has my heart ♥ Ughhh I love herrr#I also quite like Chell's design from both games :) I wonder if GLaDOS keeps making remarks on her appearance because of the changes :0#She does have fuller cheeks in 2! She's not as gaunt - and she looks like....made-up? Make up made up? Y'know? :0#Not that we get a particularly good look at her in-game but hm! The differences#As well as in her long-fall boots! The braces really were just stuck on her legs in 1 weren't they :0 No wonder the Curiosity Core was rude#I do really love the Curiosity Core tho haha ♪ Probably my favourite canon Core :D I think she'd get along well with Space Core lol#And then leaving off with that one little human-GLaDOS headcanon thing I posted about! Impatiently lol#I made these like The Day after posting that I couldn't help it I was too deep in the paint XP It was fun ♪#I really do think she'd look so much more like Cave still! Especially after replaying the bit where he says to put Caroline in ''his'' place#Is that retrofitting? Was it designed with him in mind initially? Hmmmmm#I also figure if I'm going to give her a human design I might as well go the whole way and not just slap robot parts on her face lol#It's hard to imagine her with two eyes tho! Like I might even go so far as to say she can have three eyes but not two! Only one or three#Her third ''eye'' would be the mole next to her eye lol - how would her vision work in that case :0#Would she have panoptic depth perception or like triple vision or what?? Or maybe just leave her with one functioning eye lol#Handplates!Gaster-core (Core lol); turtlenecked one-eyed evil scientist with labcoat lol#Y'know it's funny - when I first drew GLaDOS several years ago I compared her to Gaster at the time too. Huh. Sure that's nothing :)
24 notes · View notes
felizusnavidad · 1 month
Text
ok, so now that my hamilton series is over i am officially taking a little break from tumblr. i've been feeling so emotionally drained for a while now & i know i have to take care of myself because i am in a really bad place at the moment... so let's just call it intermission.
18 notes · View notes
tricoufamily · 7 months
Text
once again thinking about how easy it would be for me to be in a relationship if i was cis
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
snickerdoodlles · 18 days
Text
there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it
#its like#people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards#except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that#and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option#and like#vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them#a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr#where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them#part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling#like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other#vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented#like? its not like theres any one way to fandom#and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs#but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like#idk#feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want#.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend#i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me#but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs#which is a very different dynamic#its like. hmmm words#i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages#vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal#if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe#and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need#before returning to it later when i have more time/energy#its got Longevity that discord lacks u know#........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE
15 notes · View notes
orbmanson7 · 4 months
Text
:(
Very bad grade in therapy today
#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now#what has even been the point#i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game#and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress#and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using#oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn#i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am!#continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them#they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more#but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently#why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort#i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space#free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it#i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs#like such an asshole#and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise#theres just no fucking point to any of this#...#its cold today#might be a good day to do my favorite plan#actually yeah fuck it im gonna go#hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024#you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it#keep being amazing yall#see you on the flip side or whatever#orbs thought bubbles
4 notes · View notes