#but i need to drive to get a job to afford doctors so i can get back on my meds

[lesbianshepard]

they should invent a driving a car that isn't scary

#m #i hate driving so much i get so nervous and scared #but i need to in order to be a shovelbum #because i need to #y'knw #get places #i miss charleston i miss college i miss being able to walk places #every time i get behind the wheel im like aaaaaaa #and its genuinely like harming my ability to live life #like i cant bring myself to drive without panicking #but i need to drive to get a job to afford doctors so i can get back on my meds #but i need my meds to be able to bring myself to drive #so you can see the problem here

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer Park Steve AU part 4

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

September

He doesn’t talk to the Munsons much. (Doesn’t talk to anyone, really, aside from his mom and Robin and that one older woman who keeps renting and returning Gone With The Wind as an excuse to leave her house.) He keeps his head down and his nose clean, doesn’t care to make friends with the neighbors; just wants to get by.

One day Eddie approaches their door, waving a gas bill that got mixed up in their mail, and Steve greets him pleasantly enough.

“Stab anyone today?”

“Eat glass, Harrington.”

So it goes.

Steve watches the world pass and the weather turn, lets the hours bleed into weeks and squeezes his eyes shut against the flashbacks when they threaten to overwhelm.

Things with his mom are weird.

They don’t really speak, preferring to shrug their way past each other with careful, tight-lipped nods, and his mom takes these pills the doctor gave her that keep her perfectly pleasant and calm. Silent. Physically present but not really here.

And he can’t imagine how it feels to be her: Florence Harrington, ripped from the comforts of the upper crust and left to rot in a tin can seven miles across town. She spends most of her time letting out weary little sighs as she swans from room to room, drifting like a shade on the banks of the River Styx. (He can make that reference now because Robin won’t shut up about mythology. “It’s so gay, Steve. The Greeks were literally so gay.”)

Anyway.

Shit’s weird with the kids, too. He still drives them around — lets them loiter at Family Video when it’s slow; hangs around when they need a ride to the arcade or the movies or the skating rink; and he’s still on the hook for ‘ice cream. for. life,’ so…

It’s just not the same.

Like. Not to be dramatic, but who the fuck is Steve Harrington without the house and the pool and the free-for-all fridge? Just some kid with a car and a bat and a punchable face. And he can barely afford to keep the car now, anyway, so pretty soon they won’t need him for that, either. They’ll learn to drive; they’ll get their own jobs. Maybe Lucas builds enough muscle to take over as the party tank.

Maybe it’s better if he shelfs himself now before they realize he’s become obsolete.

“Oh, my god, you’re being pathetic,” he groans to himself. His voice is muffled where he’s lying face down on the couch. Ridiculous behavior, because everything is fine; Steve is fine. In the grand scheme of things where there are monsters and melted corpses and all kinds of crazy, horrible shit?

Yeah.

He’s being obnoxious. It’s a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon with just the right Autumn breeze going — gentle but cool; long sleeve polo weather; his favorite kind — and he’s sitting inside throwing himself a pity party.

Fucking absurd.

…Five more minutes.

Just five more minutes, then he’s getting off this couch.

He gets to a minute and a half when he hears the crunch of tires against the gravel, the clanging of a little bell from the handlebar of a bike, and then:

“STEVE!!!”

And that’ll be Dustin, trying to bang the door off the hinges and piss off the whole park at the same time. Kid’s nothing if not a multitasker. Steve lets another aggrieved groan loose into the couch cushion.

His mom’s out with the car; the lights are all off. Maybe he can just play dead ‘til Dustin leaves? He loves the kid, he really does, but his left ear is full of static, and he just wants to fucking sleep. Or sulk. Or both.

“STEVEN CHRISTOPHER, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE.”

Jeeeeesus Christ. “Okay, chill,” Steve grumbles as he hauls himself upright and throws open the front door. His limbs feel like lead; there’s drool on his chin. “Wake the whole goddamn neighborhood, why don’t you?”

“It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, and half the people here work nights.”

“Oh-kayy,” Dustin drags out the word, “but you don’t.”

Ugh. Whatever. He’s not gonna be shamed by a toothless teenager for his depressing loser tendencies. “Did you need something?”

Steve scratches at his belly hair through his shirt, feels a muscle twinge in his shoulder and send a spark of nerve pain skittering up to the base of his skull.

Dustin either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that Steve’s body is falling apart where he stands, because he just rolls his eyes and says, “Uh, yeah. I need to know why you’re avoiding everyone? Mom’s tried to invite you to dinner six times now.”

“I was working.”

“All six times?” Dustin glares. Steve feels a little pinned by it, feels guilt seeping through the cracks as he fidgets with his bad ear. This kid’s gonna be the scariest lawyer some day. “She’s worried.”

Goddammit.

Guilt squeezes hard behind his ribs; he knows Dustin uses his mom as a mouthpiece for the feelings he can’t express. “I’m fine,” he sighs, letting his eyes and voice go soft. “Honest.”

Dustin holds firm, gaze fierce and fists clenched. “Bullshit,” he insists.

“Man, don’t—”

“Bull. Shit.”

Suddenly, their impromptu interrogation gets interrupted by a crashing drum fill, a shriek of electric guitar as Munson’s van squeals into the lot. He’s blasting some melodramatic metal shit about wizards or whatever; Steve doesn’t know. He only knows that the skitter of nerve pain he felt is ramping up to a fullblown migraine now because this guy has to listen to his racket at full fucking volume, apparently, and isn’t this all just “fucking great.”

—

part 5

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #trailer park steve au #steve can have a little depression as a treat #robin buckley #dustin henderson #claudia henderson #my writing #my fic

[eetherealgoddess]

ꨄThe Visitꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere Bonten Au

❦When Y/n makes an impulsive decision to take a trip to Japan, a trip to the wrong room causes her to catch the wrong attention❦

Sano Manjiro, Sanzu Haruchiyo, & Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread!

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Red phrases are Japanese

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture her as a black female but you can see her however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There will be scenes that involve non con so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable.

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

The Visit

Y/n’s journey to Japan was based on an impulsive decision. Wanting to bask in the differing culture compared to America, she decided to take a small break, her plan to only stay for a couple weeks. Unfortunately, her friends, too busy with work and stable living, couldn’t join her sudden trip across the world. Y/n currently works on her own accord, a delivering app where she makes her own schedule. A lot more freeing compared to a job where she’d have to make decisions two to three weeks in advance.

Sure, she’s no doctor or business owner but she still makes enough to afford her living and to take spontaneous outings, becoming bored easily from the day to day routine of driving and delivering all day. After all, she can even work on her vacations, though she’d prefer not to. When she was younger, she had a hard time doing things on her own so as an adult, she’s gained her own sense of independence. Using the phrase, YOLO, as an excuse to go out on her own and make things happen without waiting for others to join. Her personal challenge in life. Which is why she decided to go to a popular night club, all on her own.

Flashing lights beam as the loud music bursts through the speakers, causing the building to vibrate occasionally, chattering and laughing mixing in with the frequency. A euphoric feeling for someone in search of a good time. She walks through crowds of people after she passes the security, slightly shoving her way, light “Excuse me,” and “Sorry,” as she squeezes past the dancing mass. Obviously, nobody hears her apologies as they close their eyes and grind against the nearest person. Finally, she makes her way to the bar, the bartenders tending to the customers with smiles on their faces, conversing and flirting with the newcomers.

She takes a seat on the stool, ignoring the awkwardness of feeling out of place in an unknown world. Most of the conversations surrounding her are misunderstood, as she only knows a few Japanese words. She knows she should’ve studied more, though the anticipation caused her impatience, determining that if needed, she’ll use the web’s translator, no matter how embarrassing it’ll feel. For a second, she zones out in her own world, palm on her cheek as she leans her head, elbow plastered to the table.

“What can I get for you?”

She responds with a fruity alcohol mix, dropping her hand to the table as she watches the bartender make her drink. Once finished, he slides it to her as she hands him her payment. She sips it down fast, emptying the glass within seconds, wanting to free herself from the anxiety that fills her body, calming her thoughts as the alcohol persuades her to get out of her comfort zone. Ordering another after another, she’s finally out of her shell enough to think about hitting the dance floor, after all the crowd should cover her terrible dance moves.

After her fifth drink, she feels great, on top of the world even. Without the weakness of anxious thoughts and tense posture, she takes a selfie to send to her groupchat, her friends responding with likes and support. She smiles to herself, vision slightly shifty as she hops off her seat, shoving her phone in her purse as she walks through the crowd to a good spot.

Considering how lively she is, others fall in line, dancing near or on as everyone hypes everyone up, the music and alcohol causing everyone to lose themselves in the motion of the dance floor. The girl takes a couple photos and videos of all the different people she meets as they laugh and share the moment with each other. Some take photos and videos as well, showing off their night. Time passes as the drinks keep pouring.

Finally, the liquid reaches her bladder, causing her to stumble through the group, walking towards the bar as she searches for the nearest bathroom. Unfortunately, it takes her a while to walk around in frustration, sighing as she sees a staircase towards the balcony. Using the rail as support, she stalks up the stairs, walking until she reaches the balcony. She walks past the people as she makes her way down the hall.

“Damnit, I’m about to piss myself.” She hisses as she continues to look around, no sign of any bathrooms near.

Out of curiosity, she stops near a door where talking could be heard, though nothing she could understand besides the few words she could make out. She rolls her eyes.

“Hopefully, there’s a bathroom in here, or else I’m peeing wherever.” She mutters, chuckling as she turns the knob. When she opens the door, she’s greeted with an empty space with lounge chairs and dimmed lights, pink and red being the main color scheme of the room. The voices are louder as she walks into the room.

Maybe that’s the bathroom.

She shrugs as she walks forward, closing in on the door, the voices raising. Her eyebrows furrow at the language, caught off guard by some of the words being shouted.

“Mikey, please! I just need m-more time!”

A loud thud could be heard followed by a ‘Shut up!’ Y/n continued to listen as the concerning sounds became more apparent. She attempts to make out the words, to no avail, but she could tell that someone is begging, considering the word, ‘please.’

“Please! My wife and kids, th-they need me! God, I’ll do anything!”

“What the fuck?” She whispers. The event behind the door causes her to forget about her full bladder, which feels as though all fluid has disappeared on its own. One of her hands places itself on the door as she leans closer, becoming more intrigued as she attempts to decipher more words. Coming up with a plan, she grabs her phone and searches the web for translation. She presses the button to record and sets the phone as close to the door as she can.

“Boss, do you want me to finish this rat?”

After reading the translation, her breath hitches, eyes widening as she quickly deletes the phrase and sets the phone back in place. The hairs on her body stand as the fear sobers her enough to focus. She’s in disbelief to what she is hearing, yet she can’t find the will to move as curiosity brings her closer to demise.

Silence falls for a moment besides the pitiful man’s sobbing, weighing on her heart as she feels sorrow for what could happen, still unknown to any experiences like this. After what feels like forever, she decides to press the power button of her device and stick it back in her purse.

“NO!”

BANG!

She stops for a second, eyebrows furrowed as she stops breathing. She stares at the door in disbelief. Her hands trembling as her legs barely keep her up, causing her to lean against the wall near the door. Her heartbeat accelerates as her head begins to pound, the ringing in her ears indicating that fear is taking a toll. Before she could take another step, another three gunshots ring, echoing from the room.

“N-no fucking way.” She says to herself, turning on her heel to run out of the room.

“Shit!” She hisses as she runs into a plant, the vase shattering as she falls on the floor. Scrambling to pick herself up she quickly runs out of the room, sweat dripping from her forehead as she breathes heavily, ignoring the sound of the door behind her slamming open.

As she runs down the stairs, she pushes through anyone in the way without any apologies, too scared of getting caught snooping she rushes past the dance floor. She shrieks as shots rang through, causing everyone in the club to scatter and scream. More chaos ensues as she shoves her way to the exit. Some people could be seen falling as they’re trampled by the gathering, too many people trying to leave at the same time. The guards try to help as much as they can while the staff hides behind the bar, some in the rooms as well.

The shots continue as she's pushed against the stools, knocking them over as she stops herself from falling. She continues on, finally reaching the exit. When she makes it outside, she runs down the sidewalk, others bringing attention from the outside as well as they mimic her movements. Police sirens could be heard in the distance as she continued to run.

Breathing heavily, the pain in her stomach forms as well as the tensity in her legs, though she ignores it with the will to live another day. As she runs, she misses the black car passing by, tinted windows covering the group of men sitting in the seats.

“Another successful night of ridding ourselves of another rat, yeah?”

A tall man with short lilac hair takes a sip of his glass, leg crossed over the other as his free arm lies on the top of the seat. Lazy eyes with a side smile on his face as he eyes the men in the car.

“Successful, indeed brother. Too bad the night ended early.”

The man, sitting next to the other guy, positioned in the same way with the opposite leg, says while lighting a cigarette, the driver pressing a button to crack the windows. His hair, lilac as well, but shaped to be a mullet smirks as he pulls the smoke into his mouth, settling it before blowing out.

The two men sitting across from the brothers sit quietly as dark eyes stare out of the window, the platinum hair swaying as the wind blows through the cracks.

“I should’ve tortured him more, the disgusting scum deserved every shot for betraying my king.”

The pinkette growled, his icy blue eyes glaring into space as he imagined doing the worst to the man, violent acts playing in his head. His fingers tingle, an effect from the substances in his system, excitement causing him to smirk as he leans his head back against the seat.

“Kakucho.”

The ride became silent as their boss spoke to the driver.

“Yes, boss?”

“Look into Y/n, L/n.”

The dark eyed pale man eyes the card in his hand as he analyzes the picture and information. Finding the photo id in the lounge room, he realizes that she must’ve been the one to shatter that vase, indicating she must’ve been there during their conversation. If not, it’s good to get a hold on her, just in case.

“Yes, boss.”

“Yeah, it was fucking crazy!” Y/n says as she kicks her shoes off, locking the door behind her as she walks to the bedroom, phone against her ear.

“Is everything okay now? Are you safe?” Her closest friend says on the other line.

“I think so, Leila. I got away and nobody has followed me here so I think I’m good. I just can’t believe I witnessed something like that.” She responds, breathing out a sigh as she sets the phone on speaker, setting it on the bed as she grabs a t-shirt and shorts.

“Me neither. You probably shouldn’t go clubbing for a minute.” Leila suggests, worry evident in her voice. After Y/n is dressed, she grabs her phone and walks to the bathroom.

“Maybe, but I didn’t come here to not party. I’m sure it was just that side of town or something.” She says as she grabs a makeup wipe, starting with rubbing her eyeliner and mascara off before moving to her cheeks and forehead.

“There’s other things to do, plus you don’t know how things are fully run over there. You really know little to nothing about the area you’re in so you don’t know how consistent it is and neither do I.”

She moisturizes her face after using water to wash off any residue. She grabs her phone and pulls it to her mouth.

“I understand that, which is why I’m gonna explore some more places tomorrow, but I’m probably going to go clubbing again. Just not at that one.” She says, leaning on her leg as she places a hand on her hip.

“Okay. Just be careful, especially since you’re alone up there. I have to go back to work, so I’ll text you.”

“Alright, see ya.”

Y/n ends the call, grabbing her toothbrush and brushing her teeth. After she spits, she uses mouthwash and rinses. After her process, she grabs her phone and walks to the kitchen, chugging a glass of water before walking to the bedroom.

When she gets in bed, she pulls up a reading app as she lies in a fetal position. As she pulls up a story she saved, her eyes follow the lines until they become heavy - lidded, blurry vision overcoming until the darkness finally engulfs her.

When she wakes up, she lies for a moment before grabbing her phone and checking her notifications. She yawns, stretching and hopping from the bed, completing her morning routine as well as a shower before getting dressed in simple attire. As she walks out of her door, she cautiously looks at her surroundings, eyeing the people walking on this fine morning. In need of a picker upper, she strolls down the sidewalk, heading towards the nearest cafe, hands in pockets as she walks through the breeze.

After she walks in, she orders her drink and takes a seat in a nearby booth, intrigued by the screen of her phone as she takes sips occasionally. A figure distracts her vision, sitting in front of her, causing her to shift her gaze. She eyes the mystery man who sits in a suit, furrowing her brows as she gazes over the attractive guy. He gives her a lazy smile, greeting her and introducing himself.

“You can call me Y/n. Do I know you?” She asks curiously. She knows that she has no clue who this guy is, but asked anyway, wondering why he decided to sit at her table.

“No, we don't know each other. You’re a lovely woman, and I’d like to get to know you more.” He responds, his smooth voice adding to his demeanor. She raises a brow.

He proceeds to tell her about a club he owns, inviting her to attend that night.

“I’ll think about it.” She states, giving a polite smile as she thanks him. He nods, standing up from his chair as he walks out of the cafe.

She messages her friend about the invitation from the attractive man excitedly.

Once the evening roars, she finishes the final touches of her makeup. Finally, finished with her process, she grabs her purse, making her way out of the hotel. She rides to her destination, making it to the packed nightclub she was invited to.

Security allowed her in when she said her name, as Ran told her to skip the line earlier and the guards will understand. That didn’t help the slight anxiety she felt from the angry people waiting in the long line. Shaking it off, she walks past security, to the bar that is right outside the dance floor. She looks around the crowd of people, searching for the familiar man, confused as to where he could be. She grabs her phone when she feels a buzz through her purse.

***-***-**** : come upstairs ♡︎

She chuckles at the heart, guessing it was Ran. Though, she doesn’t remember ever giving her phone number to home, nor vice versa. She shrugs, walking up the staircase until she reaches the blocked off balcony, the guards moving the rope to allow her in.

“Ooh fancy.” She states.

Before she could take another step, she was grabbed roughly from behind, pulled into a chest as a cloth covered her muffled screams. She fails at keeping her eyes open, drifting into the darkness.

She awakens, a dim light revealing her to be cuffed to a chair within a warehouse, causing her to struggle against the restraints as tears threaten to fall.

“No, no, no!” She sobs, frustrated with her circumstances. “Fuck!” She hisses.

“Nobody gave you permission to speak.”

Her head shoots up, meeting with four intimidating individuals, one familiar guy she had just met.

Damnit! I’m so stupid. This has to be those people from the other night with that man! They’re gonna kill me!

The pink haired man with a sadistic look of amusement on his face walked forward until he reached the side of her, gun in hand. Lifting it, he raises the barrel of the weapon to her temple, causing her body to tremble as she attempts to comprehend the situation, eyes widening at the man who sat in the middle of the standing twins. His dark eyes boring into hers.

She watches the man pull out a card from his pocket, turning it over to face her; she recognizes her photo id, unable to believe her unfortunate mistake.

“Y/n, I don’t like to waste time. What did you hear?”

“Nothing! I was just looking for the bathroom.”

She grimaces as the platinum haired man narrows his eyes, piercing through her. He flicks his hand.

“Sanzu.”

Said man nods, pulling the gun back and back, handing her with his other hand, her face forced to face the side. She shrieks a curse from the sudden pain.

“Boss doesn’t like liars, Y/n.” The man with the purple mullet states, smirking at her reaction with his hands placed in his pockets.

“Rin, don’t make fun of the poor girl, she’s already having a hard time.” Ran mockingly states, smiling with one hand in his pocket as he takes a hit of his cigarette.

Y/n grits her teeth, embarrassment and anger filling her mood as she glares at both men. The sense of dread already taking over, she becomes reckless with her words considering she’ll die anyway.

“Fuck you, and fuck you!” She growls, breathing deeply as she tries to keep herself calm enough to prevent an anxiety attack. Everyone’s eyes widen, excitement taking over at her behavior, the pale man’s posture slightly straightening as he becomes intrigued. Another harsh smack forces her to scream as she’s roughly gripped by the chin and turned to face the man known as Sanzu.

“Know your place in the face of the king. Watch your mouth.” He glares at her, releasing her as he replaces the gun on her head. She sucks her teeth to prevent herself from speaking anymore, though the glare doesn’t leave her face as humiliation rises by the amused expressions on the brothers’ faces.

“Answer my question.” Mikey states.

“All I heard was gunshots when I was leaving. I just wanted to find the bathroom, that’s it! I’m just visiting!” She exclaimed, ignoring the throbbing sensation of her bruised cheek.

The room goes quiet besides her deep breathing. She furrows her brows at everyone’s dead stare, wondering if she said something wrong considering the silence. She looks around in concern, shifting her gaze around sporadically.

“Hm, do whatever you want.” The boss waves his hand as he leans back into his seat, still criss - crossed as the other men’s smirks grow.

“W-what do you mean? What are you going to do?” She exclaims, terror causing her to pull harshly against the restraints. She shifts in her seat as they get closer, Sanzu using a key to undo the cuffs. Before she could take the opportunity to flee, she’s grabbed by the arm and roughly pulled out of the seat by the man known as Rin, forcing her to her knees, causing bruises to form as the pain of the cold floor aches.

His hands still on her shoulders in a tight grip that causes tension, while Ran places himself standing in front of her. He unbuckles his pants as he pulls out his length from his underwear, giving his infamous smile as he lazily eyes her form.

“Alright princess, no biting, alright? I think you already know what’ll happen so open up.” He uses his thumb to force her mouth agape, her blocking by moving her head away from the veiny girth. Her eyes widen at the pulsating member in front of her face, tears falling as she tries to push herself away, only to be forced back into place by his brother who moves one of his hands off her shoulder and places it at the nape of her neck and head, pushing her forward. He crouches to get a good angle on her.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Sanzu says, placing the barrel of the gun on her head. “Don’t even try it.”

She glares through her tears at both men that she could see and barely opens her mouth. Ran pushes his throbbing erection through her lips, a slight groan escaping his mouth as he slowly forces her to reach his base, causing her to gag. Rin helps by adding force to her neck, holding her in place once more.

“Good. S’ fucking good.” He breathes as he pulls his hips back and pushes all the way in once more. A mixture of precum and saliva dripped from her mouth, falling down her jaw as well as salty tears. Humiliation is the only emotion to decipher as she closes her eyes to escape as much as she could from this reality. A pinch on her nose forces her eyes open as he accelerates.

“Keep those eyes open, Y/n.” Sanzu hisses. The other hand placed on her shoulder disappears as it reaches around her neck.

“We might be nicer if you’re good.” Rin whispers as he squeezes his hand around her neck. She struggles against her pinched nose and neck squeeze as her breathing is blocked. Ran’s thrusts become sloppier as he moans, his hand on top of her head and the other on her ear and cheek as he pulls back and forth.

“I’m so close.”

Mikey watches as the events play out. Despite the bored look on his face, he couldn’t help but be turned on by how she looks as she lacks air while being fucked from the mouth. His erection reflects against the bulge in his pants, slight sweat forming beneath his sweater as his eyes bore into the scene before him.

Y/n’s face, shifting colors as she struggles against the hold, vision weakening as black dots begin to engulf her. Noticing the limping of her body, the two men release her nose and neck, allowing her to breathe through her nose as Ran releases into her throat, ropes of cum shooting as he grunts.

She coughs and takes deep violent breaths when she’s released, makeup smeared as her outfit clings to her body from sweat.

“Let me fucking go! There’s no reason for this! I won’t tell anyone just stop.” She sobs angrily. They ignore her as she’s forced on her back. Sanzu forces her legs open as Rin climbs on top of her. Ran slips his pants on before he sits right above her head as he faces her from above, pulling her wrists up as he grips them, smirking as his brother places himself in front of her, crouching over her breasts.

When she gasps from the wet muscle licking her clit, Rin takes the opportunity to shove his dick all the way to the back of her aching throat.

“Shit!” He hissed as he bottoms out. Moaning with his head pulled back, he grips her head, thrusting in and out at a faster pace than how his brother started. She twitches and shifts as Sanzu sucks her clit thoroughly, flicking his tongue whenever deemed fit. He slightly moans as he licks up her juices, his tongue moving up and down as it makes contact with her bud. His hands grip her thighs tightly, nails leaving indents as he pulls her in more, eyes closed.

Rin’s hair sways as he thrusts in her mouth. Wet sounds filling the room as the cum and saliva mix while he uses her face as a fleshlight. Her body couldn’t help to react to the stimulation of her clit, to her disapproval. She also didn’t want to orgasm considering it would enable them whether they believe she truly wants this or not. In order to speed the process, she sucks his cock to bring more tension, causing him to become sloppier.

“Yes! Like that, good fucking girl.” He breathes as his eyes roll into the back of his head, thrusting harder as he gets closer to release. Everyone’s erections twitch when she unconsciously releases a moan, to her humiliation.

Just hurry up and cum so I can leave! Please!

“Dirty girl, you like this, huh?” Ran teases, as his brother’s moans become louder. Sanzu grips tighter as he rubs his erection through his pants. Mikey grips himself through his pants, enjoying the pain of his own arousal as he watches his men take advantage of this woman. His face keeps his same expression, slowly rubbing against himself as he applies pressure.

Her hands turned to fists as Sanzu used a finger to push inside of her, angling it to gain more twitches from her body. Her hips buck when he adds another, strategically pulling in and out of her vagina. His tongue flicks against her clit repeatedly, suckling as he thrusts his hand.

I don’t care if my body is reacting. I want them to stop! This is humiliating!

Tears fall as Rin finally releases into her mouth, cum shooting out as he fills her throat. She orgasms right after as Sanzu assaulted her core. Rin removes himself as Sanzu and Ran pull back. She breathes heavily as she tries to gain strength in her weakened body, still trembling from the violent acts. She freezes when she sees their boss stand up. Her eyes widen as she picks herself up and sits up, not long before Mikey motions for Sanzu to lie on the floor. The short man shoves her over the pink haired man, her face meeting his amused expression.

She’s forced to hold herself up as the brothers stood up and took the chairs her and mikey used, sitting themselves down as the anticipation of what was to come caused them to grip their erections.

When she realized what was happening, she attempted to push herself out of their grips, to no avail.

“No, please! I’ve never done anal before and I don’t want to, please! Don’t make me do this!” She sobs. Her breath hitches when Mikey shushes her from behind. As Mikey grabs her hips, Sanzu eases her down on his cock, gripping her back so she won’t pull back. She shrieks from the force, slight pain blocked from wetness yet her anxiety makes it hard for her to fully open, causing him to bully his way in.

She cries as he adjusts himself, gripping her head as he rubs her back, causing shivers to run down her spine. The brothers watch with smirks, groaning quietly as they begin to rub their own cocks. Mikey wets his finger before slowly shoving it into her anus, causing her to flinch in pain and legs to tremble. Sanzu pulls her down to lie fully on his chest as Mikey uses his other hand to push her back down, aiming for a better angle as he adds another finger.

Sanzu groans as her walls tighten around his cock, shoving it deeper as he holds it in place, head falling back as he breathes heavily. She whimpers in his ear as she tries to hold back a moan from the head hitting her cervix. It presses causing pressure as it’s still inside her, twitching occasionally as he waits for Mikey to enter.

Finally, Mikey adjusts his head to her hole after wetting his cock, shoving it inside as he ignores her cry of pain. He doesn’t stop until he bottoms out, both men groaning as they rub against each other through the lining causing extra pressure. She grunts in pain and stimulation as her body trembles. She breathes heavily in Sanzu’s ear unconsciously bringing him more pleasure as he feels the hot air against his ear, her lips barely touching his neck.

“Oh fuck, M-Mikey, can I please move?”

Forgetting his king’s title in the midst of intense pleasure, the Haitani brothers chuckle as they continue their motions.

“Yes.” He breathes as he pulls back, gripping her shoulders as he leans over, thrusting deeply as well as slowly. Long strokes as he repeats the process. Sanzu syncing with him as he hits her g-spot repeatedly, pressing against with his own long strokes.

Her eyes snap shut, tightly, as she grips Sanzu’s shoulders. Tears fall on his neck as she begins to cry. Both men’s jaws hang slightly ajar as they accelerate their speed, one going in as the other goes out. The sound of all their juices mixing as her holes drip with moisture.

Their hips snap as they become sloppy with their movements, syncing once more as they thrust inside of her roughly. All four men’s moans filled the room blocking her whimpers and cries as she sobbed for them to stop. The Haitani’s eyed the sight intently, faces bare of any smiles with nothing but undeniable pleasure as their hands bring them closer to release.

Thank god I’m on birth control.

Their grips become tighter as well as their thrusts until finally with one long but hard stroke, they both cum deeply inside her, pressing themselves inside her walls as they hold in place, the pressure causing her orgasm to crash violently, as well as the Haitani brother’s who rubbed themselves until ropes of cum shot out on their clothes.

After a while of everyone’s rugged breathing echoing through the air, Ran began to let out a light - hearted laugh.

“Awe princess, look at the mess you made! This is my favorite suit.” He smiles.

“Slutty girl, all worn out when you made us do all of the work.” Rin taunts.

Unable to keep her eyes open any longer, she allows the darkness to take over, closing her eyes and drifting into a deep sleep.

Waking up, she eyes the ceiling in confusion. She sits up, eyeing the unfamiliar room as the memories from before she passed out recollected. Her eyes widen as she dashes from the bed, falling back when her ankle is held by something cold against the bed’s bottom post.

She yanks the covers and eyes the cuffed ankle.

“No! No, no, no!” She cries, the feeling of being violated and stripped of her freedom all taking a toll as she reaches for her head. Finally feeling the cold breeze, she eyes her naked body, feeling shame as she uses the comforter to cover herself.

She looks up as the door clicks open, an unfamiliar male walking in with his white hair to the side.

“Hello, Y/n. I’m here to inform you that your stay in Japan has been prolonged.”

#bonten x reader #tokyo rev x reader #yandere x reader #haitani brothers #sanzu haruchiyo #sano mikey manjiro #rin haitani #ran haitani #yandere #ran x reader #rin x reader #sanzu x reader #sano manjiro x reader #manjiro sano #tokyo revengers #bonten #tokyo rev smut #yandere tokyo revengers

[robertreich]

The Biggest Economic Lies We’re Told

In America, it’s expensive just to be alive.

And with inflation being driven by price gouging corporations, it’s only getting more expensive for regular Americans who don’t have any more money to spend.

Just look at how Big Oil is raking it in while you pay through the nose at the pump.

That’s on top of the average price of a new non-luxury car — which is now over $44,000. Even accounting for inflation, this is way higher than the average cost when I bought my first car — it’s probably in a museum by now.

Even worse, the median price for a house is now over $440,000. Compare that to 1972, when it was under $200,000.

Work a full-time minimum wage job? You won’t be able to afford rent on a one-bedroom apartment just about anywhere in the U.S.

And when you get back after a long day of work, you’ll likely be met with bills up the wazoo for doctor visits, student loans, and utilities.

So what’s left of a paycheck after basic living expenses? Not much.

You can only reduce spending on food, housing, and other basic necessities so much. Want to try covering the rest of your monthly costs with a credit card? Well now that’s more expensive too, with the Fed continuing to hike interest rates.

All of this comes back to how we measure a successful economy.

What good are more jobs if those jobs barely pay enough to live on?

Over one-third of full time jobs don’t pay enough to cover a basic family budget.

And what good are lots of jobs if they cause so much stress and take up so much time that our lives are miserable?

And don’t tell me a good economy is measured by a roaring stock market if the richest 10 percent of Americans own more than 80 percent of it.

And what good is a large Gross Domestic Product if more and more of the total economy is going to the richest one-tenth of one percent?  

What good is economic growth if the way we grow depends on fossil fuels that cause a climate crisis?

These standard measures – jobs, the stock market, the GDP – don’t show how our economy is really doing, who is doing well, or the quality of our lives.

People who sit at their kitchen tables at night wondering how they’re going to pay the bills don’t say to themselves

“Well, at least corporate profits are at record levels.”

In fact, corporations have record profits and CEOs are paid so much because they’re squeezing more output from workers but paying lower wages. Over the past 40 years, productivity has grown 3.5x as fast as hourly pay.

At the same time, corporations are driving up the costs of everyday items people need.

Because corporations are monopolizing their markets, they don’t have to worry about competitors. A few giant corporations can easily coordinate price hikes and enjoy bigger profits.

Just four firms control 85% of all beef, 66% of all pork, and 54% of all poultry production.

Firms like Tyson have seen their profit margins skyrocket as they jack up prices higher than their costs — forcing consumers who are already stretched thin to pay even more.

It’s not just meat. Weak antitrust enforcement has allowed companies to become powerful enough to raise their prices across the entire food industry.

It’s the same story with household goods. Giant companies like Procter & Gamble blame their price hikes on increased costs – but their profit margins have soared to 25%. Hello? They care more about their bottom line than your bottom, that’s for sure.

Meanwhile, parents – and even grandparents like me – are STILL struggling to feed their babies because of a national formula shortage. Why? Largely because the three companies who control the entire formula industry would rather pump money into stock buybacks than quality control at their factories.

Traditionally, our economy’s health is measured by the unemployment rate. Job growth. The stock market. Overall economic growth. But these don’t reflect the everyday, “kitchen table economics” that affect our lives the most.

These measures don’t show the real economy.

Instead of looking just at the number of jobs, we need to look at the income earned from those jobs. And not the average income.

People at the top always bring up the average.

If Jeff Bezos walked into a bar with 140 other people, the average wealth of each person would be over a billion dollars.

No, look at the median income – half above, half below.

And make sure it accounts for inflation – real purchasing power.

Over the last few decades, the real median income has barely budged. This isn’t economic success.

It's economic failure, with a capital F.

And instead of looking at the stock market or the GDP we need to look at who owns what – where the wealth really is.

Over the last forty years, wealth has concentrated more and more at the very top. Look at this;

This is a problem, folks. Because with wealth comes political power.

Forget trickle-down economics. It’s trickle on.

And instead of looking just at economic growth, we also need to look at what that growth is costing us – subtract the costs of the climate crisis, the costs of bad health, the costs of no paid leave, and all the stresses on our lives that economic growth is demanding.

We need to look at the quality of our lives – all our lives. How many of us are adequately housed and clothed and fed. How many of our kids are getting a good education. How many of us live in safety – or in fear.

You want to measure economic success? Go to the kitchen tables of America.

#youtube #videos #economics #inequality #video #politics #money #cars #housing

[sneakyboymerlin]

Heeeeeyyyyy it’s ur boy uh. Skinny penice.

If any of you lovelies wanna help me get my mom’s account out of the negatives, I would be eternally grateful.

Her account is around -$300 after the bills got taken out, we’re just trying not to rack up any late fees at this point ✨ any money will go to getting her account out of the negatives or else paying off the fees as they add up. She’s already been in the negatives for 2 or 3 days because she tried to “fix it herself” without telling me (I only found out because I happened to see her bank app).

Her car’s engine also stopped and we can’t afford a rental so I have to drive her to and from work myself (a 40 minute drive each way, I will be making the 80 minute drive twice today so I can go to my own job). I don’t get paid until Thursday and the only thing I can afford rn is gas.

I just had to pay $500 to get my own car out of the shop after almost 2 months since someone tried to steal it in September (all the parts they needed were on back order) and the dude who tried to take it for a joy ride gets to pay it back in small increments (when a white boy does it for fun, they give him every excuse) which means I’m out $500.

I wanted to attend my community college this upcoming semester but I’m just going to have to skip again if this keeps up, which I really don’t want to do because of pressure from my sister to get a degree or apprenticeship. She won’t help my mom in order to “punish her” but it really just punishes me. My mom has been hiding her finances from me ever since my dad died, resulting in things like my car (the car is under her name & insurance but my dad gave it to me) getting repossessed during the summer (we were able to get it back luckily) and the internet getting shut off. She lied about where the money I paid her was going, paid for her own car + insurance instead and let my car get repossessed. My finances and well-being are entirely dependent on her bank account, and she is consistently dishonest about where our money goes, and then funnels any money I make into her account. She also tries to buy frivolous things we don’t need when she runs out of money + tries to force me to buy those things for her and is only frugal when spending her own paycheck. Everyone I have explained the situation to tells me that I am being financially abused, and I cannot find a way out of it besides moving out, but I can’t afford to do that and I can’t leave my pets behind.

I was also trying to pay off my phone and late bills to T-Mobile so we could switch over to a cheaper company but I can’t make any progress on this because we can’t afford to pay anything off before the next month rolls over and we get charged yet again (when T-Mobile bought Sprint they started charging us out the ass). The electric bill is also going to be unsustainable this winter, our heater doesn’t work half the time so we have space heaters but that’s it for us + our 4 cats + 1 dog.

I’m also supposed to be going to the doctor’s to get a diagnosis (probably EDS), physical and mental therapy, etc. but I have to go through multiple doctors and institutions(?) to do this, which is pretty much impossible when you’re sharing 1 car between 2 people and are the only one with any gas money (which is gonna go FAST). I also do not want my mom to know under any circumstances if I attend mental therapy.

And there’s always more but I don’t have time to continue on

If you follow me or enjoy my posting please consider helping out if you can 💗

C*sh*app is $ThreeTrilobites

DM me for P*yP*l or V-nmo info

[lexa-griffins]

I know I haven't been keeping up with asks and due to probably not being able to write anything for while here's a short drabble of an idea I had ages ago and might never write.

Assassin Lexa x Target Clarke

--

You’re here to kill her. 

Your end goal is simply to terminate her, a job like all the others. You keep reminding yourself of your assignment, repeating it like a motto so it  never leaves your head. 

When she smiles you repeat it, a warning to yourself. When she wraps a hand around your waist and pulls you closer, biting your lip like it belongs to her. When she takes you on a date that always ends with you naked in her bed, panting and unable to differentiate the taste of her from the taste of you, you see it burnt into your brain.

Clarke’s not a play thing, she’s not a lover. She’s a target.

And she knows it.

She’s not stupid, not the way your briefing said she might be. There is some naïvety to her, that much is true, how she believes she can make the world a better place, her drive to help and be needed mildly infuriating but she is still as cunning and manipulative and deceiving as you are, keeping you on your toes everyday, like this is a game - like she has a chance to win.

Truth is, you enjoy it. That’s why you keep delaying putting a bullet to her head. That’s why you keep dressing up, the tight short dresses and expensive lingerie that remove all of the bright blue out of her eyes. That’s why you keep coming back as if you were addicted to her; her smell, her taste, her touch. She’s addicted to you too, it’s oh so obvious in the way she looks, touches, fucks you.

She knows how this will end. She knows you are as further as she’ll go in life, for when you’re gone from it, she will have no more life for her to live. 

Nevertheless, here you stand, in the living room of her uptown loft, the one she can somehow afford, despite working as family doctor in a clinic downtown and claiming she has nothing to do with her mother’s political career. The apartment is bare for the most part. She prefers spending her money on experiences you’ve come to learn; Michelin stars dinning, tropical vacations, luxurious hotels. You’ve gone with her on them all. 

It’s quite sad it has to end but you’ve gone on with this charade for long enough. The loaded gun weights on your hand, on your heart, but you both knew it would end up like this. You went out of your way to make sure she dies well, happy, loved, a luxury you have never granted to a target before.

A loud pop coming from the kitchen momentarily distracts you.

“One of these days I’m gonna lose a fucking eye trying to serve you wine!” She grunts from the kitchen, back turned to you as she tries her best to get as much wine inside the glass as she can manage.

You smile, despite yourself. She’s just a few drops past tipsy, her tone dropping lower and raspier, the slurred words adding just the right hint of adorableness to the eroticism of her voice. 

You raise the gun. 

You took her to dinner at the Greek place downtown, her favorite. You kept your hair loose because you know that’s how she likes it; she told you so the very first time she met you, only a couple exchanges into the conversation, your hair tied in an elegant bun at the time. You made a point of wearing the tight leather dress she commented on more than once when you walked hand in hand through the stores fronts, whispering all the sinful things she would like to do to you while you wear it. 

The barrel points to her head, quick and clean. 

In another life maybe you two could have been happy. You’d move in with her and in a one year time you’d propose, married by this date two years from now. You’d get a cat and then go off to travel the world with her, let her pamper you like she enjoys to do while you simply sit back and enjoy life. It sounds nice; perfect even.

But that life does not exist, and because you cannot afford what if’s, you take a deep breath.

She turns before your finger presses the trigger and you’re left with her staring at with a playful smirk, your gun pointed right at her forehead - a clear shot.

“Lexa, I’ve told you, no weapons in the apartment.” She’s nonchalant about it, does not even blink an eye at the gun you hold in your hand.

You adore her for that.

#ignoreme.jpg #clexa #this is actually what latter become mobster daughter #Clarke was supposed to take the gun from Lexa and point it at her while fucking her #sorry for 2nd person i was trying something when i wrote this

[seat-safety-switch]

When you become the handiest person on your block, lesser homeowners will flock to your door in order to seek your counsel. Sometimes there is a pretext to it: just need to borrow a tool, oh, and while you’re here, do you understand what the fuck “grout” is? That kind of thing. Usually, when confronted with home-repair questions, I pretend not to be able to speak English anymore (I have a forged doctor’s note explaining that it is a pathological mental condition brought on by unresolved childhood trauma) and eventually they go away.

Once in awhile, though, there’s a job so interesting that I can’t help but get involved. You might think that these are hard jobs, or at least ones where I can learn something. Nothing doing: when I’m helping out a neighbour, it’s because I suspect that there will be a really funny story afterwards. Such a currency will never depreciate, and in fact will probably allow me to get a couple free beers at the local watering hole when they get a new bouncer who doesn’t recognize my face.

My neighbour, who we’ll call Hal because I think that’s his name, wanted to fill in the old swimming pool behind his home. It was dug into the ground decades ago by the bourgeois previous owners, who were capable of comfortably maintaining a household with children on a single income. Hal knew that this era was over, and in either event that he would never be able to afford the water bill required to fill such a pool, and so he decided it would be a nice way to extend his yard. Having a large and featureless yard also appealed, but mostly to me, because I knew there was a pretty good chance I could later leverage my helping-out into him letting me park a parts car or two there.

Filling a hole in the ground with dirt is not difficult. So why did Hal ask me for help? It’s really very simple. Human beings are social animals, and doing home maintenance without someone nearby to shoot the shit with is torture. Many hands make light work, even if the only hands actually digging and tossing are yours, and everyone else’s hands are just holding your craft beer and pointing at cool cars driving past. After a few hours of a well-spent Saturday, the hole was filled.

This is where the trap is sprung: drunk on our success, we were already making plans for the rest of his house. Maybe we’d put some solar panels on the roof. Fix that crack on the driveway. Hell, we could do anything. Unfortunately for Hal, I remembered the presence of my rare affliction just in time, and quickly slipped into a string of coprolalia while fleeing, until I was well out of his earshot. 

[mulderscully]

respect tentoo or die by my sword

it doesn't happen as much as it did when i was originally in the dw fandom, but it still does drive me insane when people reblog a gifset that involves tentoo/rose and talk negatively about them, because so many times it's just a fundamental misunderstanding of not only that scene, but of the relationship between the doctor and rose and their individual personalities and how those things intersect.

it's still so frustrating when people say "it was fucked up that he gave her a copy of himself to fix" for example, because in no way is that what happened.

tentoo is not a "copy" or any less truly the doctor than any other version, and people still thinking so confuses me, because if the doctor can change everything about themself- their entire personality, appearance, likes and dislikes, gender, sense of style, everything- and still fundamentally be the same person, what do you think makes it so that they're not just someone else? it's the memories, it's the regeneration energy. that's the essence of who the doctor is, not the body that carries it.

i can see people thinking tentoo is a clone or copy if you look at the doctor from a human perspective, but the doctor is an alien. he didn't copy himself, he split into two. there is a difference. if you cook a pizza and then cut that pizza to share, every slice is still the original pizza. (yes, i'm comparing ten to pizza) tentoo is just a regeneration that happened outside of the body. this is also why his body can handle what donna's couldn't- because he is genuinely the doctor and still has a timelord mind.

but getting back to the scene itself. if you really pay attention, you will realize that the way the doctor handles the situation is one of deeply understanding who rose is and what she needs because of what happened the first time he regenerated. it's not a woman's job to fix a man, but rose is someone who needs to feel wanted and needed by the doctor.

a lot of rose haters fault her for how she reacted when nine regenerated, but it was realistic! and that's what's so special about her. you see the man you love explode and then be completely different you're gonna lose your shit a little! and ten understands that now. he understands why she freaked out and he knows that part of it was also fear that since he changed he wouldn't want her anymore. that's why what he leads with is that tentoo needs her, because he knows she needs to know that it's not because he doesn't want her anymore or something like that.

the doctor condemns tentoo for being dangerous, but this is the same man who literally went mad and attempted to take over the universe just episodes later. i would say he was projecting, but it's just him knowing himself. he knows he needs rose to keep him from going insane, but he also knows that rose needs to know she is needed.

there is also a direct parallel between the scene in born again where he convinces her that he is still the doctor by telling her about the first time they met to when tentoo tells her he has all the same memories, and to rose asking him what the end of that sentence was. it’s the memories that make the man, and rose understands that now which is why it’s what both of the doctor’s say to get through to her.

there is also, i think, some jealousy at himself here. i mean, imagine knowing you're gonna get to spend the rest of your life with the woman you love- but you in this body will not experience it. after the dalek shoots ten and he starts to regenerate, ten and tentoo start being different people and that is the bittersweet element to their ending. 

which is interesting!

ten and tentoo is a really cool example of how different our lives can turn out if we make different choices and have different opportunities afforded to us. how many different lives would we be living if we had different chances? that’s maybe not a cookie cutter happy ending for everyone, but it’s something to think about. and it IS a happy ending, as happy as it gets for the doctor. and it was a gift for rose, for him to split himself in two so he could be by her side, for her forever - even if it caused him pain in one world and happiness in the other.

it’s not abandoning her to fix a different version of himself, it’s him knowing that he is his best around her AND that he wants her to be happy, so he has to let her go - which is painful but also beautiful and almost a form of self love since he knows that he can and would make her happy if he could.

i have another post about why this ending was perfect for their relationship here, if you are interested but tdlr  it’s a bendy and a bittersweet ending for them, but it’s one that makes sense and one that is not malicious or mean. it’s actually very, very selfless and powerful.

#** #dw #doctor who #doctor x rose #tentoo x rose #tentoo #girl i'm regressing but in a smarter slay way

[spudlord]

Crowd Funding !!

Venmo: jesse-a94

Cash app: $jessethecutie

Paypal or zelle: [email protected]

475/2500 I don't know if I even have active followers anymore over here but I am sharing this everywhere I can because I'm pretty desperate. I know money is tight for everyone and there are so many worthy causes and people to donate to right now so I was really hesitant to toward to crowd funding for this but I am at my breaking point. Please consider helping 2 queers find better housing closer to our jobs& friends. Even if you can only send 1 dollar, every penny will help. If you can't donate, please consider sharing!My wife& I are near our breaking point with our current housing situation. I'm asking for donations to help us move.

I didn't want to turn to crowd funding for this but I'm beginning to feel desperate. Based on the rent we could afford monthly we need about 2000 dollars for move in fees, but we've been hoping to save around 2500 to be safe since moving comes with a lot of unexpected costs and we'd need to rent a moving truck since we don't own a car. We currently have 475 dollars set aside and will also be trying our best to put aside every extra penny we have after bills&groceries& other necessities.

We're 2 disabled queer people trying hard to get our shit together. We've been trying to save for months to move us and our 2 cats but every time we get close an emergency happens or one or both of us gets sick and misses a lot of work. Our current rental house is moldy, and has a laundry list of issues that are impacting our health. It's also a 2 hour commute one way via bus to our jobs. We're trying to move to the Oak Park or Ferndale area so we're walking distance from our jobs, and many of our friends/support network, to be closer to my doctors, and closer to more bus lines since I can't drive due to my disability. Thank you for hearing me out at least and please consider sharing or donating or helping in any way you may be able to.

#crowd funding #gofundme #mutual aid #paypal #cash app #venmo #zelle

[juvia-is-beast]

Hey y'all. I hate to make this kind of post while the world is in the condition its in but I'm trying to survive and not be homeless.

The Situation

I've taken care of my disables veteran mother since I was 14. I'm 27 now and I'm really chronically ill from PCOS. I have PTSD and Major Depression because of this I never learned to drive because I was continuously traumatized while trying to learn or when trying to ask to learn. I needed my family's help to get to medical appointments and instead I was treated like an inconvenience until I could no longer work from being in pain all the time. My family kicked me out of the house after I snapped when I told them I was in a lot of pain and to nauseous to eat and they replied with a scoff. My mom called the cops and lied to them telling them I hit her and had me arrested for domestic violence... I've been a pacifist since I was 5 I've never hit anyone except for when I was having severe psychosis because I was unmedicated and undiagnosed. I greatly regret those times even though I have no memory of them. My mom was also pocketing and lying about my SSI. She had me work 3 jobs when I started getting sicker and my body started giving out about a year ago. I had to pause my college classes because of my health and I smoke weed to manage the pain since I can't get to doctors. My pausing class led my mom to tell everyone that I quit school to stay home and smoke weed all day. I work at the college and my campus is my real home. I would rather spend all day in pain on campus at work then stay at home because my real home is my campus. I gave her everything I could. I took care of her half of my life and when I genuinely needed her she abandoned me. I got kicked out in November and I've been staying with a friend. I'm trying to find a place to rent when I can afford to reunite with my cats. I need help with a deposit and some groceries for now. I live in FL and you need a medical card and I couldn't renew mine in time so I can't get medical weed for a while. The semester hasn't started yet so I can't start work yet. I don't want to be short because of the deposit and I want to help my friend with groceries while I'm staying with her because she isn't charging me to stay here even though if someone finds out that I'm here they'll be in breach of their lease and can get kicked out. I also need help with basic hygiene because I done want to spend my SSI because I need to find a place to stay ASAP.

Please if you can spare anything at all cash app me.

$0/$750

$600 for rent

$100 for the background check

$50 for a Uhaul to move my mattress, dresser, shelf and desk to the new place once I have one.

TLDR: Help me put down a deposit for a room to rent and and moving fees. My mom pocketed all of my SSI for the last 10 years while lying about how much I was receiveing and also demanded most of my paycheck. I don't have savings because she would take them. 

C@shapp: $ButtPirate27

V3nm0: Komal-Deo

#my post #mutual aid #financial aid #help #kicked out #aid #on ssi #housing #physically ill #rent #i just left my abusive indian household #financial abuse #mentally disabled #PTSD #PCOS

[cocklessboy]

The problem with my ADHD medication is that it wears off every evening.

I had some success with Ritalin, but I had some really unpleasant side effects with it. Constant desperate thirst, no appetite, grogginess, occasional racing pulse, and, oddly, disruptively increased sex drive (to which my psychiatrist said, and I quote, “well that’s weird. that shouldn’t happen.” exactly what you want to hear your doctor say). I was panicking, because Ritalin was my last hope. There are no other ADHD meds in this country (we don’t even have Adderall here), just atomoxetine (which gave me psychotic side effects) and Ritalin.

Well, methylphenidate. That’s the chemical name. Ritalin, but also... Concerta. The same drug, but in a slow-release capsule. When you take Ritalin, it enters your blood stream quickly, then gradually fades and leaves your system within about 4 hours. Concerta is taken in the morning and very slowly releases the drug over the course of 8-12 hours. In my case, about 10 hours, pretty consistently.

On the Concerta, my side effects vanished. I have. ZERO SIDE EFFECTS. Just the benefits. It has been life-changing. I get done in a single day what used to take me a month. Easily. With minimal effort. And with no side effects.

That constant desperate itchy NEED for stimulation is... gone. I can just... do stuff. Focus on stuff. Remember stuff.

I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 37 years old. 37 years of coping mechanisms and just scraping by. 37 years of hating myself and assuming I was the lazy, useless loser everyone said I was. 37 years of finding clever ways to trick my brain into letting me do basic life tasks.

And now I have my medication. A medication that works, perfectly, and with no side effects at all.

Until it wears off.

I take my pills around 10 am, and by about 8 pm, the meds have worn off. But I’m a night owl. I’m up till 1 am at the earliest. And from 8 pm till bed time I am unmedicated.

And it’s strange. It doesn’t feel like how I used to feel. By 8 pm I’ve accomplished loads. I’ve done work for my job, cleaned my home, cooked and eaten several meals, sent a load of emails, exercised, worked on projects, done some errands... And now I’m tired. Really, genuinely tired. But the gremlins have wrested back control of my brain from the medication and they are ANGRY. They have been denied their day of constant stimulation seeking. They have been denied their frequent little dopamine hits from scrolling tumblr or playing some stupid no-effort video game. They want stimulation NOW.

But there’s none left to have. There are no tasks to be distracted by, or distracted from. No emails to agonize over replying to. No work tasks that I know I should really get done but haven’t managed to do yet. No new posts to read on tumblr. And yeah, I could probably find a no-effort video game to play but... I’m tired. I’ve been doing stuff all day. I don’t want to.

But I’m not sleepy. I have that delayed sleep cycle and I absolutely cannot sleep so early no matter how tired I am.

And so I find myself in a weird haze at the end of each day when my meds wear off. The itchy feeling of needing stimulation is back, but the usual cycle of distraction and dopamine hits has been more or less dismantled. I don’t have anything ready to keep my brain satisfied anymore. I don’t have the mental energy left to focus on anything that requires even the tiniest bit of brain power. I can’t focus both because the gremlins have taken the wheel and because I’ve been focusing really well all day and my brain just doesn’t have any fuel left.

It’s a strange sort of state to be in each evening, feeling that vague need to do something but not being able to come up with anything to do.

I’m profoundly lucky that I not only have found a medication that works for me, but live in a place where it is very affordable. I wouldn’t trade my new life for anything. In the few months since I started this medication I’ve literally turned my life around. I went from barely surviving to finally being able to do all the things I’ve always needed and wanted to do with time left over to relax. There are so, so many people who could be helped just as easily, but don’t have access to the proper medication, or maybe don’t even know they need it.

But there is still this weird state I enter each evening. The gremlins are waking up just as I’m trying to head towards bed. I’ve completed my tasks for the day and I can relax and watch a movie or read a book or play a game but... I’m tired. And the gremlins are bored. It sort of... itches. But differently to how it itched before.

And I guess I need to learn new coping mechanisms for this new situation, to replace the old ones which I no longer need.

#actually adhd #adhd #ritalin #concerta #mental health #executive dysfunction #brain gremlins #neurodivergence #medication

[2boldlyqueer]

help a disabled queer fix their car this pride month (please!!)

Me (left) and my cute cat Cosmo (right) for attention

I am trying to raise $1500 to fix the transmission on my car, as it's currently undriveable. I have been out of work since early February due to a drunk driver rear-ending me while he was going 60mph. My family is helping me as much as they can, but it's going to take months to scrape this kind of money together without help, and until then I'm totally dependent on others being available when I have doctor's appointments. I haven't been able to go to physical therapy as often as I'm supposed to because of it, and I'm in a lot more pain because of it. 

DONATION LINKS

Paypal https://paypal.me/tastreg

CashApp https://cash.app/$tastreg

Venmo https://account.venmo.com/u/TonyGo12 

GoFundMe https://gofund.me/df8d4896

(If I happen to get incredibly lucky and get more than my goal, that money will go towards getting a new pair of glasses, since mine have been broken and held together by glue for two years now! TT-TT)

If you can’t give, please consider reblogging this post.

Thank you for reading!I hope you have a lovely day <3

More detail below the cut if you want it:

The Car

The transmission on my car is failing, and I can't drive it without fear that it'll give out any moment. There have already been a few scary moments where I thought I was going to be stuck in the middle of the road. I was able to get to the mechanic and get a quote, I need $1500 to fix the issue. (And that was before a second issue popped up on the way home, so it’s possible it’ll be more.)

Where I live, it's impossible to get anywhere without a car, so I'm really stuck and relying on the kindness of others to get me to my doctor's appointments, since I also can't afford taxis, plus Uber/Lyft don't service around here. This has already caused issues, as I've had to cut back on my physical therapy appointments due to not being able to get to them, and I've been doing a lot worse since then.

My Health & Monetary Situation

I've been unable to work since early February, as I've been recovering from a major accident, where I was rear-ended by a drunk driver. The car I had then was completely totalled; thankfully his insurance paid out just enough to get another cheap, used car. I've been dealing with major pain and health issues since. Pain and spasms in my hips and legs make it difficult to stand, sit, or walk for any amount of time. Multiple vertebrae throughout my spine are out of place, which cause a ton of constant pain and unpredictably variable numbness that makes my arms and hands useless when it happens. 

My work prior to the accident involves a lot of lifting and carrying, as well as repairs that require full control of my hands, so I haven't been able to return to it. I've actually picked up a new job remotely tutoring due to monetary needs, but it doesn't offer much in the way of hours and is difficult with the on-and-off brain fog and fatigue I've been experiencing since the accident. I'm in the process of being assessed for post-concussive syndrome because of that and new difficulties with language & numbers (which are driving me up the wall, I love writing and now I have to really work at it. This thing took me multiple days to write out when normally it would've taken me about half an hour.)

My credit cards are all maxed out from my last health crisis in 2021 and my credit score is too low to get another credit card right now. I'm just barely scraping by on lost wages from insurance and help from my family. Unfortunately, they can't support me any more than they already are, as we’re all straddling the poverty line and live in areas with high costs of living. I do have a civil suit pending against the man who hit me, but I don't expect that to resolve for at least a few months.

Thank you so much if you took the time to read all that. I really hope you consider donating -- even a dollar will help! Whether you donate or not, please consider sharing, it would really help me out. I hope you have a wonderful day! <3 To reward you for reading all that, have another cat pic :3

#mutual aid #donations #please donate #signal boost #please signal boost #help

[haechannabelle]

hiii today is bad my hair is messy but we out here i guess. lots of very negative venting under the cut yayyy (it’s okay tho venting made me feel better)

i’m just frustrated because my stupid job where i have to stand on concrete floors for 7 hours a day has ruined my knees, i have the knees of like a fucking 60 year old and i’m not even 30, like i can’t exercise and i keep gaining weight from my medication and idk what to do about it

and i made an appointment to hopefully get a doctor’s note so i can sit at work but because i’m on medicaid my doctor was like yeah earliest i have is in three months and even then he’ll have to refer me to a specialist to get anything done about it

and my arm has also been bothering me since we moved in august, it’ll go away but then it comes back worse. so of course i’m worried about that too

and NOW my foot is all fucked up on TOP of that stuff and because they’re doing stupid construction on all the public transit i’m walking like an extra 3 miles some days which obviously isn’t helping anything…and i had to leave work today because i couldn’t stop crying because i feel like my body is failing me and i can’t afford to take time off of work and also fuck the healthcare “system” in this country, i just had to pay a $750 bill for dental work so who KNOWS how much it’ll cost if i need treatment for my knees OR arm OR foot OR all three of them

anyways i’m sad and in pain and im freaking out about how i’m gonna get it all fixed or IF i’m gonna get things fixed and how much i’ll have to pay if i do…. it’s just not a good situation and it’s only been building as i tried to ignore the problems and hope they would go away, so now i’m directing anger at myself for not taking care of myself

but whatever my partner will be home soon and he’s gonna drive me to the doctor tomorrow and i know he’ll have comforting things to say. i know it’ll all be okay i’m just upset and what is tumblr for if not long sad personal posts and also selfies riiiiight ???

in other news tomorrow is 4/20 and i WILL be ceremoniously ending my 3 week T-break and i cannot fucking wait. i read four (4!!!) books in that time which is 4x as many books as i had read in the previous 5 years so,, i’m doing good in other ways !!!

everything is gonna be okay, it’s just hard right now. shoutout to anyone who read this far i am virtually giving you a fresh baked cookie 🍪

#myself #annabelle talks #i promise i’m okay i just needed to get some of this out

[birdgirl90]

Well preparing for the move is in full swing! Full details below, and thank you all for being so supportive.

I have technically three ish weeks to get everything ready to go, but I want to be done before the week of Thanksgiving so I can spend that week doing nothing except being with my family, so it's more like two weeks.

I've been steadily going down my to do list - stuff for my dog is all taken care of (treats, toys, food and water bowls, etc all for the trip itself), my medications are all called in for 90 days so that I have a few months to figure out insurance and get doctors (parents said they would mail the meds to me if they don't get filled in time), I ordered my contacts for the next six months so that I'm stocked up on those, hotels are reserved for along the way, and so on.

I have a tentative plan for when I get there, but it's still scary as fuck.

My parents are being supportive even though neither of them like that I'm moving so far away. (For reference, I'm in Colorado and I'm moving to Maryland, which I love the east coast and am very excited.) Thanks to my dad helping me out, I was able to get a loan from the bank to pay for my move and living expenses until I get a full time job. Both of them are sad, as is my little sister who is heartbroken I'm leaving, but they all know I have to do what's right for me.

The half baked plan is to take four days to drive cross country with as much of my stuff that will fit in my car as well as my dog, driving about 6 hours or so a day since it's just me. I have my cities picked out to stop in, and I think it's going to be a pretty uneventful drive. I love road trips, so it's great getting to take one on my own tbh.

Then when I get to Maryland, I'll be rooming with my best friend. Once she left her fiance and I got divorced, it was the plan to be roommates, so she got a decent two bedroom apartment last month that she can afford on her own. My contribution when I get there will be to pay for groceries until I work full time and can afford to help with rent too. I figure groceries is the least I can do, and she keeps telling me that I don't have to do anything if I don't want to, which is incredibly generous but I refuse to just be a bum and do nothing.

Once I'm settled, I'll be hitting the ground running looking for work. The job I really wanted I got overlooked for because I'm out of state, so being in state will help for other jobs. So far I'm looking into online tutoring (I have an education degree and I currently work for Sylvan Learning Centers - I've done administrative director stuff as well as tutoring and they have a lot of opportunities) as well as transcription jobs for like court reporting. Both together should tide me over until I find a full time job somewhere, I think.

This whole thing is exciting and also terrifying as fuck. I have never done anything even remotely close to this before, and going out without a job lined up scares me shitless. But as I had it pointed out to me, nothing gets done staying in one place forever, and if I want to make this change, I need to just do it.

Does anyone who follows me live on the east coast of the US? If you do and would ever be interested, I would love to get coffee once I'm settled. I am really looking forward to making friends for once outside of the two or three that I currently have.

Thanks again for everything guys, all of you mean a lot to me.

~Birdie

#birdie speaks #moving #moving across country #from colorado #to maryland #so much chaos going on #I have no clue what I'm doing at this point

[riflebrass]

Sending this to anon because we are from very different circles, I think, and I don't want to start shit (this is about your Medicare reply/post). I probably won't even check if you've answered this or anything, so don't feel pressured to; I'm just writing because you seem like you hold your beliefs in earnest and in good faith, and I just wanted to offer you another perspective (I'm a leftist, and count myself amount the camp that would unambiguously support any move for universal healthcare).

Here's the thing, right? We don't trust the government either. I actually don't believe in state power at all, but that's neither here nor there. You're right that if universal healthcare were implemented, the government would positively have layers of means testing and other bureaucratic nonsense keeping people from the care they need still. We would protest that too. People who support universal healthcare (at least, ones who aren't libs) aren't proposing that we just hand the reins over to the government and let it do what it wants: we just recognize that solutions aren't one step.

Things are bad already: tons of people can't afford the care they need, possibly can't afford insurance at all (while also not being qualified for the very much not universal Medicare, on account of their sin of making $16/hr instead of $15/hr), and THEIR INSURANCE cuts every corner possible to deny them benefits for the sake of profit anyways (they could switch, but only in the winter, and the other choices suck too). My girlfriend has to drive forty minutes to get to an in network doctor and has no ability to switch insurance without finding a new job, this is a problem that exists NOW.

And I'm not saying a one-step switch to the government here doing what the government in Canada does would fix things, I'm not that naive. But I do firmly believe that healthcare is a basic human right, and it ought to be treated as one by any body which has power over our lives. I don't trust the government, but as long as it's in power I AM going to advocate for it to do its goddamn job and take care of its citizens; if it does a shitty job with that, we can march in the streets about that next. The thing about the government is that, unlike private insurance companies, it IS technically beholden to its citizens in some capacity beyond our dollars. I don't trust the government, but I trust insurance companies even less, and I have a good reason to. I'd rather neither of them have final say on the quality of my healthcare, but in the meantime I would like the people in power to do some good with it.

I got to the part where Anon said they won't even check to read my reply and stopped reading. We seem to mutually agree that neither of us cares what the other had to say so I'm moving on with my day. Sucks you spent 15 minutes writing that.

[doctorguilty]

griping about popular post but I don't wanna comment on it and potentially get too much attention and dogpiled

bad and terrible take I'm sorry like the "individual action is not effective" because "the fundamental problem is [higher institution]" is applicable to stuff like, "reducing your carbon footprint by driving electric cars and using metal straws makes minimal impact on the planet because multi billion dollar corporations are deep frying the planet" and even THAT concept has more to do with like personal sacrifice vs personal accountability.

For example if I spend extra money on sustainable eco-friendly food products and exhaust my food budget so that I go hungry at the end of the month, for the sake of individual action to like help save the earth, it is not worth hurting myself for because no amount of only purchasing free-range eggs will make an impact equal to me as a human being with basic needs and rights to food. And being guilt tripped and told I'm selfish for eating cheap eggs instead so that I have enough money to eat every day is bullshit.

At the same time, it DOES NOT mean that because your individual actions are small in the grand scheme of things, it is a waste of effort to do actions that DON'T negatively impact your life, health, or wallet. Like separating recycles from the trash, buying affordable cotton/wool/leather clothing instead of stuff made of plastics, those are still worthwhile things to do if you HAVE the ability, if you ARE capable.

Equating masking to the like, propaganda of "individual actions are necessary self sacrifice, go green at the cost of your well being while we spill 300 tons of oil into the ocean" is stupid, it's not the same thing. It's more like the separating-your-recycles thing but not even that either. Because it's not about the nebulous concept of "the planet" or the "wildlife and forests", it's about your NEIGHBORS, your fellow people at their jobs and at the store and living their lives, doing something individual for THEM, and it does ABSOLUTELY matter and make an impact.

It makes a HUGE impact every single day what you choose to do around other people; wearing a mask could be the difference between, what, you wearing a piece of cloth over your face that is uncomfortable sometimes? versus a cashier getting sick and having to stay home from work and lose a chunk of their paycheck, versus a child at the store catching your infection and bringing it to school with them and they all bring it home to their families, versus an elderly person who lives alone taking care of themselves, becoming bedridden and no one can get them groceries or pick up their medication at the pharmacy.

That stuff REALLY fucking matters and that doesn't even start breaking ground of disabled people, that op was really quick to throw under the bus?? oh society has forsaken them, it's an institutional, such a shame. nothing we can do about it. (also like. who was even talking about cons or events when it came to any of this.......because as far as I know everyone was like, please just wear a mask when you go to the store. to the doctor's office. like wha?)

oh, you feel bad it's being "moralized"? you don't like feeling personally responsible? it's uncomfortable when us undesirables are forsaken by everyone in power and all we can do is beg and plead to be considered by the average person in our vicinity? like honestly, op is right in the sense that the hard statistics when it comes to how much of an impact 1 person in a crowd of 500 don't really matter, but you know when I see that 1 person I think, god at least someone cares. Like. I mean it's complete misinfo to say it does nothing for disease transmission but since people don't care about THAT anyway, then yeah it IS a moral issue and you should feel bad about it! you should feel bad ignoring our voices, you should feel bad when we die, and you should feel bad if all it takes to even communicate to us, "I hope my choice does matter enough to save even 1 person in the world" is wear a piece of cloth on you face and you think that's equitable to corporate ceos guilting you over not driving hybrid cars while they tear down forests to build parking lots over, you think disabled people asking for a sliver of consideration on par with like, taking the grocery cart back to the return so it doesn't smack into someone's car is the same thing as oppressive institutions scapegoating poor people and profit from it...... like I think you've lost the plot, terribly.

#seth speaks