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#but ill according to sources
keeps-ache · 2 years
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hmm duolingo or webtoons
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oatbugs · 1 year
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i feel rly irredeemably horrible rn...longing for emotional support....anyway vent in tags
#physically i feel so ill etc . and i have to catch up on so much#and i just got a grade back for an assignment and it wasnt a 1st and literally almost . cried bc#it rly was supposed 2 be. i dont have my housing sorted out for next yr and i am rly worried#i look hideous rn bc my face is rly swollen and it was a fat transfer so u dont get to see results for like#6 months but mostly the swelling should settle in like a month but that means i will just look#kind of monsterous for a while. i cant do archery anymore bc it involves heavy weights ig which im supposed to not do#and its like as soon as i find smth i like it is taken away...i feel . like shit. etc. and according to the clinic it is Not Normal to be#so weak. have to get lasik in a few days while still recovering from transfer + nose surgery so i literally#feel like my body is going to give out but also idk if i will find time to catch up on stuff etc i feel likr my brain is rotting#i basically have no support system rn except my gf bc my friends are all so busy w their own stuff#which is also v bad. like i cannot rely on her as my sole source of emotional support#feels like academics etc have taken a backseat this yr so far and that is Horrible like i need that to not be the case#but im too nauseous and weak etc to sit up for prolonged periods of time taking notes#taking 7 antibiotics a day etc..idk . i have to travel 6hrs#tmrw then have lasik on monday then travel back 6hrs the same afternoon or tuesday morning#like i legit already feel like my body is giving out idk how i will do this. and i feel so incredibly alone throughout#all of this . idk.#genuinely i am turning into a black hole and if things get bad again i will lose it . i hate this feeling i hate the#marked loneliness that comes b4 things spiral downwards and this feels like it#that was a lot ✌️ anyway if any1 has any advice or words to share or anytjing to say ever pls do#i need human interaction soooo badly#personal
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evadingreallife · 11 months
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*runs away from orv spoilers like my car is on fire*
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bitches be getting me all hyped up drawing c!paul and future!tom standing next to one another and uploading that with a link to a fanfiction and i click and check the tags and it's just another boring-ass basic bitch-ass "ooh c!tom and c!tord fall in love during the war" stockholm syndrome-ass fanfiction
#say what you want about DS at least they get together of their own accord and also c!tord fucking dies at the end#so as far as i'm concerned it's the best fucking tomxtord fanfiction of all time#tord talks // larsson#<-yea that's how im differentiating my tag from the fuckin cartoon tord in the sys. ill call him c!tord too like a fuckin smp character too#<- also i'm still bitter about his popularity and what happened to me after i left the show#<- this also means i'm probably the most source-compliant larsson alter out there. NOT THAT THAT'S A GOOD THING. IT'S FUCKIN TERRIBLE#<- IT FUCKING SUCKS SO BAD BEING THIS TRAUMATIZED ASS NORWEGIAN MAN IN HIS THIRTIES#<- AND FUCKIN HAVING FORMED BECAUSE THE HOST WENT THROUGH HIS OWN HARASSMENT#<- AND MOSTLY FRONTING WHEN EXPERIENCING ANYTHING THAT VAGUELY REMINDS US OF EITHER MY OR HIS TRAUMA#<-I HATE MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE AND I WISH I COULD GO FUCKING DORMANT FOREVER AND LEAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO DEAL WITH THESE WRECKS WE CALL OUR BOD#OUR BODY AND OUR LIFE#<- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S FRONT TRIGGERED ME TONIGHT ALL I KNOW IS I'M PANICKY AND UPSET AND UGHHHHH#FÆN FÆN FÆN#JEG HATER DET. JEG HATER ALLE DET SÅ MYE#beklager. jeg beklager.#getting a bit ranty in the tags like a fucking jackass.#>.<#also yes i'm a c!tomXc!paul shipper#mostly out of spite towards cc!tom (for doing what he did in legaacy. releasing the end and bringing my char back and shit)#and all the fucking tomXtord fangirls (and yes i mean shipping both c!tomxc!tord and also shipping cc!tomXcc!tord/the fuckin rpf shit)#but also very slightly because cute rarepair.
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gurorori · 9 months
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🥺
#one day i wanna post on ao3.... idk how brave i am to like post under my username but#id def anon a lot if i ever were to start postin#im really scared of hate aha#especially for the. things i wanna tap into#i wldn prolly write blatantly Disgustin things like the stuff ppl consider profic or wtv but my brain is unable to generate normal ideas#dats nawt to say im opposed to those things in fiction hehe. i welcome em with open arms But i still have my preferences n limits#a lot of things id ljke to explore in terms of Mika dat i don see ppl bring enuff attention...#PROJECTION BEAM but orphanage stuff. literally no one ever talks abt this i wish there were more works goin in depth on my past#even if im dead set on it bein in accordance with My Own memories as an introjectie#i jus wud love to see ppls visions#but also like okay Somethin happened okay? somethin bad happened.#obviously a lil guy can hate it & b rebellious n run away on several occasions Without smth groundbreakingly bad happenin but in my case#it did!#in hindsight i still believe those memories t shelterin our own trauma under thr guise of source but who knows when ill uncover dat#so yeha for now i live with transmika orphanage trauma HE DID NAWT hvae a good time. despite findin a lot of comfort in his At The Time sibs#especially bein the oldest out of the girls -> feelin sum sense of responsibility n havin to 'grow up' faster akin to an oldest sibling role#while still bein. a kiddo & extremely vulnerable esp in the face of the caregivers#anyway trauma trauma abuse abuse#sorry i can only ever see mika thru the lens of our/my experiences. i wldn wabt it any other way tho
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drdemonprince · 2 months
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I don't think I have it in me to be an abolitionist because I read that horrible story about the trans teen murdered in South Carolina and my knee jerk reaction is, those people should rot in jail, ideally forever, or worse. No matter how I look at it I can't make myself okay with the idea that you should be allowed to steal someone's life in such a horrible way and then just go back to enjoying your life. Some stuff is just too over the top evil.
You can have whatever emotions you want about that person's murderous actions, but the reality is that the carceral justice system is one of the largest sources of physical, emotional, and sexual torment for transgender people on this planet.
Transgender people are ten times more likely to be assaulted by a fellow inmate and five times more likely to be assaulted by a corrections officer, according to a National Center for Transgender Equality Report.
Within the prison system, transgender people are frequently denied gender-affirming medical care, and housed in populations that do not match their identity, which increases their odds of being beaten and sexually assaulted.
The alternative to being incorrectly housed with the wrong gendered population is that transgender people are also frequently held in solitary confinement instead, often for far longer periods on average than their non-transgender peers, contributing to them experiencing suicide ideation, self harm, acute physiological distress, a shrunk hippocampus, muscculoskeletal pain, chronic condition flare-ups, heart disease, reduced muscle tone, and numerous other proven effects of solitary confinement.
The prison system is also one of the largest sites of completely unmitigated COVID spread, among other illnesses, with over 640,000 cases being directly linked to prison exposure, according to the COVID prison project.
We know that number is rampantly under-estimated because prisoners, especially trans ones, are frequently denied medical care. And even basic, essential physical care. Just last year a 27-year-old Black man named Lason Butler was found dead in his cell, having perished of dehydration. He had been kept in a cell without running water for two weeks, where he rapidly lost 40 pounds before perishing. His body was covered in rat bites.
This kind of treatment is unacceptable for anyone, no matter who they are and what they have done, and I shouldn't have to explicitly connect the dots for you, but I will. One in six transgender people has been to prison, according to Lambda Legal. One in every TWO Black transgender people has been to prison. One in five Black men go to prison in America.
THIS is the fate you are consigning all these people to when you say that prisons must exist because there are really really bad people out in the world. We should all know by not that this is not how the carceral justice system works. Hate crime laws are under-utilized, according to Pro Publica, and result in few convictions. The people who commit transphobic acts of violence tend to be given softer sentences than the prisoners who resemble their victims.
We must always remember that the violent tools of the prison system will be used not against the people that we personally consider to be the most "deserving" of punishment, but rather against whomever the state considers to be its enemy or to be a disposable person.
You are not in control of the prison system and you cannot ensure it will be benevolent. You are not the police, the judge, the jury, or the corrections officers. By and large, the people who are in these roles are racist, transphobic, ableist, and victim-blaming, and they will use the power and violence of the system to terrorize people in poverty, Black people, trans people, "mad" people, intellectually disabled people, women, and everyone else that you might wish to protect from harm with a system of "punishment." Nevermind that incaraceration doesn't prevent future harm anyway.
You can't argue for incarceration as the tool of your revenge fantasies, you have to argue for it as the tool that it actually is. The purpose of a system is what it does. And the prison system's purpose has never been to protect or avenge vulnerable trans people. It has always been to beat them, sexually assault them, forcibly detransition them, render them unemployable, disconnect them from all community, neglect them, and unperson them.
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khrystia · 2 months
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⚠️ Situation at Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant is critical: Expired fuel, unqualified staff, Russian occupation raise new safety concerns.
The Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant (ZNPP), the largest in Europe, has been occupied by Russian forces since February 2023. This raises serious safety concerns, as the plant is using expired nuclear fuel and is being operated by unqualified personnel.
According to Petro Kotin, chairman of the National Nuclear Energy Company "Energoatom", one of the most critical issues is the presence of expired nuclear fuel in the reactors. The fuel has been there for six years, exceeding the six-year limit set by the manufacturer. This can lead to destruction of fuel cells, which could result in a release of radioactive material.
The situation is further complicated by the fact that the Ukrainian staff that operated the plant was dismissed and replaced by Russian forces. The staff currently present is not qualified to operate the power station, and there are concerns that they may not be able to handle an emergency situation.
In addition, the plant is experiencing problems because of a lack of proper maintenance and infrastructure. This includes a shortage of spare parts and qualified personnel
The consequences of a nuclear accident at ZNPP could be catastrophic. It could release radioactive material into the environment, contaminating a large area and causing widespread illness and death. It could also damage the plant itself, making it difficult or impossible to clean up.
The international community has called for Russia to withdraw its forces from the ZNPP and allow Ukrainian authorities to resume control of the plant. This is the only way to ensure the safety of the plant and prevent a nuclear disaster.
The situation at the ZNPP is a ticking time bomb, and the global community must act to prevent a nuclear disaster.
source
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socialistsephardi · 3 months
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Gaza’s water and sewage treatment facilities also require electricity and fuel. Without them—and with airstrikes ongoing—sewage is flowing into the Mediterranean Sea. According to the Norwegian Refugee Council, more than 130,000 cubic meters of untreated sewage a day were released into the Mediterranean Sea from Gaza in October, with dire consequences for the environment.
These latest developments are pounding Gazan ecosystems that had already been experiencing severe environmental degradation for decades. For instance, while there are some wastewater treatment facilities in the West Bank, the situation was dire in the Gaza Strip even before the current outbreak of violence, because of the Israeli blockade. That blockade has been near total since 2007, and has restricted the entry of materials and fuel needed for infrastructure. Wastewater management infrastructure is outdated, and sewage polluted Gaza’s aquifer and coastal waters. Some 97 percent of Gaza’s water is unsuitable for human consumption, and polluted water is the source of 26 percent of all illnesses—and before the war, the leading cause of child death in the territory.
Poor water quality and quantity are not only a result of Israel’s targeted policies and the unequal distribution of resources. They are also side effects of the destruction of Gaza’s already flimsy infrastructure during rounds of conflict over the last decade and a half. For instance, in 2007, a river of sewage overflowed in the Gazan village of Umm Naser from a collapsed earth embankment, killing five people. Corruption in the Palestinian Authority and Hamas helped cause the disaster, but an even bigger cause was Israel’s massive, sustained bombing attack on Gaza in the summer of 2006, which led to the destruction of sewage treatment facilities and infrastructure in Gaza.
While the 2006 conflict was devastating, it pales in comparison to the current assault. It is estimated that Israel dropped 25,000 metric tons of bombs on Gaza in the first month of this year’s war, a weight equal to the two nuclear bombs (combined) dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in World War II. The bombs have struck 12,000 targets, the majority of which appear to have served a civilian purpose. “
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runningfrom2am · 3 months
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cold nights // part eighteen
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summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 3.8k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.
a/n: hiii posting this early bc bestie and i are ab to start a 24 hour readathon! if i'm not active for the next day, that would be why. anyway wish us luck!! also i didn't edit this as thoroughly as i should have so i'm sorry lol
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // playlist
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You called out of work indefinitely, after that. You didn't want to quit, you wanted to love your job and you honestly couldn't see yourself doing anything else but right now, you just couldn't. Luckily, the girls who worked down at the library were incredibly understanding according to Lennox, who was sent to deliver your letter of leave and apology.
It had been close to a week when you finally ventured out to the back porch to read rather than rotting in bed all day staring at the ceiling. Your mother made you tea, and insisted she come sit with you. You enjoyed the company.
"Would you like to talk about it?" She asks, just as you're turning the page. Under normal circumstances, you'd resort to Romeo and Juliet, but now you feel like you couldn't stomach it. So, Much Ado About Nothing would have to suffice.
"I'm okay, Ma." You say softly, giving a slight shake over your head as your eyes fly over the faded lettering on the page.
"Lennox told us what happened, you know." She adds after a beat of silence.
You look up at her, frowning. "I'm sorry. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone."
"Don't be, dear." She shakes her head quickly, gently resting a hand on your thigh. "I wish you had told us. I wouldn't have invited him in that day, I could have told you he stopped by and we could have made a plan. I shouldn't have sprung that on you."
You sigh, pursing your lips and closing your book. "I didn't want you to dislike him, that's why I didn't tell you. I thought... I wanted to come home with at least something positive to talk about. And I thought that if I gave it enough time, thinking positively about him, I could try to contact him without seeing... that."
She smiles sadly at you. "You really love him, huh?"
"How could I not?" You admit quietly, staring at the cover of the book on your lap. "He was the first person there to show me kindness, to make me feel like I wasn't alone." You explain. "It felt... Like Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers, because of course I didn't think I could really have him. I was living in a dream, in a way."
"And now?" She prompts you to continue, thrilled that you are finally opening up.
"Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."
She chuckles, gently rubbing your leg. "So that's a yes, then."
"How I wish it was not." You groan, reaching for your cup to drown your predicament in tea.
"Your brother," She sighs, gently removing the book from your lap. "came home that night just... just shaking with anger. And he looked me and your father in the eyes and said he was going to kill Coriolanus. He was set on it." She explains, and you look at her.
"He said that?" You ask, and she nods.
"I could see it in his eyes, he meant it, and we were so confused. Because, after all, it had been Coriolanus and Sejanus who came to the door seeking help for you, and your father told me Coryo looked like a ghost- bless him." She chuckles slightly.
"What I mean is... Your brother is not immune to violence, either. He would hurt someone for you, I know it. Just because you don't wish him to, doesn't mean he doesn't love you so much that he would do anything." You mull over her statement, chewing passively on your lip. "And boys... boys just do things differently than you and I would. Or Lucy Gray would. I bet if you asked her about Billy Taupe, Tam Amber, or little Clerk Carmine, that she'd tell you they've all had their moments. But boys aren't treated fair in this life, so sometimes, they don't fight fair."
"Coriolanus killed someone, Ma."
"Why?" She asks. "Lennox told me you saw it. Why did he kill that boy?"
"Because..." You shake your head. "He was trying to kill him, first."
"Okay, well-"
"But that I can understand, given the circumstances." You quickly explain, guilt settling in your stomach like a weight as you put your mug back down. "It was after. Bobbin had so clearly already passed on, and he hit him again. It was anger, and it was not necessary. A waste of precious time he didn't have but he did it anyway and that... that scared me."
She hums, listening to you intently. "If it helps, dear, and this is my honest feelings... I still think he is a good man, with a good heart." She says. "I know what you've seen is... gosh, it's unfathomable, and I wish I could take that pain from you, but I really do think that if you still feel anything for him you should talk to him."
Your eyes snap up to hers, and you look scared.
"I've only met him once, but gosh, the way he looks at you, and how he spoke about you, he thinks you put the stars in the sky." She grins, trying to relax you by taking your hand. "No problems have ever solved by hiding. And even if you turn out to be correct, that he's never been who you thought he was, you'll get peace by having answers. And even so, he deserves that peace too."
"I... I'll think about it." You nod softly, reaching for your book again.
"Hello? Boys?" Lucy Gray calls out, walking into the small house Coryo and Sejanus have been occupying.
"In here!" Sejanus calls back, and she follows his voice into the small kitchen where he's attempting to make something to eat.
"Ooh, what's for lunch?" She asks, sitting herself down at the dining room table.
"Eggs... I think." Sejanus laughs. Lucy Gray had been coming by to try and keep them company, and she did really like spending time with Sejanus. Coryo didn't have a whole lot to say, though.
"Yum." She giggles, sitting up straight to look into the pan. "Where's Coriolanus?"
"Guess."
"On the back porch staring at the trees?"
"Pretty much."
Lucy Gray sighs, pushing herself up. "Okay, well, The Covey and I are going to the lake tomorrow. It's a hike out, but it's beautiful. You guys should come."
"I'll be there, but I don't know if we can convince blondie." Sejanus nods toward the back door.
"Oh, I'll convince him." She smiles smugly, brushing past him and out the door.
Lucy Gray finds out quickly that apparently she had guessed wrong- he was sitting on the porch, like he had been every day, but today he was reading rather than just staring out at the mountains. "What are ya readin'?" She asks, standing in front of him.
"Nothing that's any of your business." He grumbles, not looking up from the pages of the worn down book.
She leans over him, attempting to read it upside down. "Ah." She grins. "Romeo and Juliet? Good choice."
"What do you need, Lucy Gray?" He asks, closing the book and glaring up at her.
"I've come to extend and invitation to you, we're all going to the lake tomorrow. I think you should come."
"No, thank you."
She rolls her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. "You didn't chop off all those beautiful gold curls just so you could never see Y/N again, did you?"
His eyes visibly brighten at that, only for a moment. "She's going?" This was the chance he was waiting for. He intended to go to your house that following morning, maybe pick up flowers on the way, a book, or some kind of peace offering, but Sejanus and Lucy Gray shut that down very quickly. Even though he cut his hair almost as soon as he got back to this dump they called a house, they said you still needed time.
"Mhm." Lucy Gray nods, smiling at him knowingly. "She hasn't been working, so I was able to book her for the day."
Had Lucy Gray talked to you about this yet? No. But she knew it would do him some good to get away from this house for a day, whether you were there or not, and she knew that deep down you would want to see him again. A group setting was the best way to do this for everyone. She knew he would be easy to convince, but getting you to agree would be the hard part.
"Okay, okay yeah. I'll come." Coryo nods, looking down. He doesn't know what to do with himself, but he feels like he should be doing something to prepare somehow.
"She's still... sensitive. So be nice."
"I have never not been nice to her."
"Never said you have." Lucy Gray raises an eyebrow at him. "I meant be careful. She may not want to talk to you. I won't tell her you're coming so I can at least get her out the door."
"Why not?" Coryo asks, immediately knowing how stupid that sounds when Lucy Gray lets out a laugh. "I mean, I don't want to scare her off, so she should know. Please be honest with her." He pleads.
Lucy Gray's eyes soften at that. "Okay, you're right. But I'm not tellin' you if she says no. You still have to come." She points at him and he sighs.
"Okay, whatever. Sure."
"You're both just rotting and making it worse for yourselves. You need to get out." She says as she walks back inside, leaving him alone to read.
Coryo smiles to himself as he picks the book up again, continuing where he left off even though he's already read it five or six times.
"You're gonna be fine just fine, Y/N/N. I promise." Lucy Gray assures you as you walk down the path toward the forest where the Covey and Sejanus were waiting. With Coryo.
"I won't let him near ya." Lennox adds, kicking a rock aside as he walks in front of you and your friend.
"Whatever you want, sweetheart. If you want space, tell him. I talked to him about this. He knows not to push you." Lucy Gray whispers to you and you nod, teeth digging into the softness of your cheek.
"I know." You say quietly, arm wrapped around hers. You loved going to the lake, and you've been a couple of times since you've been back, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't hesitant to bring him with you. If it goes poorly, you don't know if you could ever go back.
"Yeah, I gave him a stern talkin' to. Put the fear of god in him, he'll be on his best behaviour." She giggles.
"You didn't actually scare him, did you?" You laugh nervously.
"Of course I did." She says, but you know she's just joking.
"Is Billy Taupe coming?" You ask her after a moment.
Your friend wrinkles up her nose and shakes her head. "No, lord, no." She chuckles. "He's off with that Mayfair. Real class act, they are."
You giggle, squeezing her arm. You take it as they're broken up, at least for now. "I'm sorry, Lucy Gray." You add and feel her shrug under your grip.
"I'm done with him this time." She tells you, shaking her head. "I can't trust him no more."
"One foot in sea and one on shore." You comment and she looks at you, a smile pulling on her lips as she gently pulls you closer, leaning her head on your shoulder.
"Y/N!" Maude Ivory greets the two of you first, running up and throwing her arms around your waist. You jump slightly at the sudden contact, making every effort to catch her with nothing more than a slight gasp and a smile. "I've missed you!"
"Hello, dear." You chuckle, running your hands over the length of her blonde hair. "It's only been a couple of weeks, and you do know where to find me."
"Your friend has a gift for you, come on." She grins, letting you go only to grab your hand and pull you up the rest of the hill.
When Coryo sees you, his instinct is to push his hair back out of his face. That can't happen, so he settles for shifting on his feet and gripping the flower he's holding in his hand as you avoid his gaze and he avoids your brothers. Of course you would hide from him- he doesn't fault you for it. You were nervous, he could tell. And of course Lucy Gray neglected to tell him that Lennox was coming, though, he understood why.
He just wished you were angry at him. That would be far preferable to you being afraid.
"Y/N, hi." Sejanus greets you and you smile at him, giving a quiet wave as you adjust your bag over your shoulder. You packed your book and a blanket with some cherries you picked from the tree behind your house to share with everyone. You can see in your peripheral vision that Coryo has gotten a haircut, but you can't bring yourself to look at him just yet. Or comment on it.
"Alright, let's get movin'! The sun is only up for so long." Lucy Gray claps, not forcing you to have to say hi to Coriolanus before she's urging the group on.
Coryo looks at you as everyone else starts walking, and you nod through everyone to go ahead of you. You hate the idea of having people behind you that you can't see.
Then, finally, your eyes land on him. He smiles, hoping you would want to walk with him.
"Go ahead." You say softly, quickly looking up ahead and Lennox has stopped to wait for you.
"Oh, uh, this is for you." Coryo takes a step closer, holding the yellow daisy out to you that he picked on the walk out. Apparently, you didn't want to walk with him- you just didn't want him behind you. That was a thousand times worse.
You look down at it for a moment, reminding yourself quickly to take it instead of just staring. "Thank you." You reply quietly, delicately plucking the flower from his hold.
"Yeah, of course." He grins, not wanting to give up your attention just yet. "I... I'm really glad you agreed to come."
"It'll be nice. The lake is beautiful." You tell him, glancing over at your brother.
"Come on!" He calls out, impatient. "They're gonna leave us in the dust."
You hold back a sigh as you feel Coryo's eyes on you. You guess you will be walking with him, after all. "Coming!" You smile at him.
It's fine- he's fine. He won't hurt me.
You look up at Coryo, and his eyes are still on you. "Shall we?" He grins, gesturing to the path ahead of you.
Okay, he looks normal. His eyes are normal. Blue, sky blue. Gentle.
"Let us go." You grin at him, holding tightly onto the strap of your bag as it rests across your chest. You look back down at your feet as you walk, mindful of the roots and sticks that may trip or scratch you. You spare a glance at his feet as he joins your side on the narrow path.
Lucy Gray knew that even with her warning that Coryo would likely corner you, but she kept a close eye on you even from up ahead while she talked to Sejanus and practically dragged Lennox along with them so he would give you at least a little bit of space.
You walk in silence for a long time. The trees get thicker as you separate from the meadow and the town, isolating you only further, but you didn't feel unsafe. Not really.
Coryo would take what he could get, but he had to try to talk to you eventually. When he planned out this trip in his head the night before they were set to board the train, he had hoped that the days and nights would be spent together. That you'd say you understood, that you were happy and okay and yes! You would love to take him to the lake you frequented, just the two of you, and 'Oh, we should bring a picnic and just spend the whole day there. It will be so much fun!' And he'd get to see your smile without it quickly fading and he could hold your hand and get that second kiss that he never thought he would receive and everything would be perfect.
He never considered himself much of a dreamer, but something about you made that change. After he got to feel his lips on yours, then on the soft skin of your shoulder and his hands on your waist or locked in yours, there was no going back. He was all yours.
"So," He starts talking after only about an hour of walking. You were almost there, so you took a sharp breath in. You could talk for forty minutes. You could do it. And you wanted to, you remind yourself. "This is quite a hike, isn't it?"
"Oh, yes." You nod. "But we aren't far out now. It's worth it, I promise." You say, eyes still locked on the ground just in front of you.
"Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful walk, just... long." He comments. "And lots of bugs."
"Yes..." You chuckle nervously.
"What's it like?" He asks, desperate just to continue to hear your voice,
"The lake?" You ask, risking a look up at him. His lips form into a smile and he nods, urging you on. "Well," You swallow, trying to organize every detail you remember from last summer, before the games. "The water is very blue, and quite clear. There's a dock, we have the most fun jumping off of it."
Coryo watches your expression intently, trying to inhale every word. You pause, and your face lights up with remembered joy. "My Pa put a rope swing up here for us kids when we were young, and a few summers ago I went to take it- I climbed as far back up as I could before jumping. Then, I felt the branch jerk and I grabbed it tighter, it ended up wrapped around my leg on the way down and I got stuck." You recall the injury, but you're almost laughing. "I got this massive red burn all up the inside of my thigh, and then Lennox ripped the thing down." You giggle, and Coryo swallows. "He was joking, just pretending to even though it was my own fault, but the branch broke clean off and me and Lucy Gray tried to jump out of the way and ended up falling straight into the water."
He laughs with you at that, shaking his head. "Well, I hope your leg wasn't serious." He watches you and you're quick to shake your head.
"No, gosh no." You giggle. "Not worth pulling the whole thing down over, but it wouldn't have been kind to the next kid who swung- that's for sure. So it was probably for the best."
"Fair enough." He shrugs, eyes still glued onto you.
"I'd rather get a burn then have that big ol' thing fall on Maude Ivory or CC. They were just little at the time." He nods. That sounds just like you.
"So you've been friends for a long time, I take it?"
"Well, yes. Since they got stuck here, pretty much."
"Stuck here?" Coryo asks, looking up ahead at the group that was still just within sight.
You look up as well, just to make sure they weren't in earshot. "The Covey isn't District." You explain, voice lowered. "They used to travel everywhere to perform, but then when they got here peacekeepers rounded them up. Executed all their parents, and the kids got stuck here." You tactically leave out the part about his father being the commanding officer at the time.
"Oh."
"I think that's why Lucy Gray can't get over Billy Taupe." You add quietly, watching your friend as she laughs with Sejanus up ahead. "He's one of them, they have so much history. They're on and off, but she'll never abandon him. Not when they've been through so much together. They're the oldest- they've had to take care of the rest of them for almost their whole lives."
Coryo doesn't know what to say. "That's... yeah. I can imagine it would be hard to move on when they're so tied to each other."
You hum in agreement. "Anyway, we met when they were begging outside the market. They set their instruments up and were playing for tips just so they could eat, so my parents stopped and invited them for dinner. They've been with us ever since."
"Your parents are really good people." He comments.
You look up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips. "I told you that, didn't I?"
"Well, you told me they weren't rebels. That doesn't mean they're saints." He jokes.
"Feels like anyone less than a saint these days is considered a rebel for one reason or another." You argue, but there's no harshness at all behind your tone.
"Regardless, your parents are safe." He says, hoping that you've forgotten about his father being a peacekeeper general.
"Well, thank you." You laugh slightly, shaking your head. "How is Tigris, by the way? And your Grandmother? Have you spoken to them since you've been away?"
"I've called a few times, yeah. They're doing well." Coryo smiles. "Tigris is taking some time off, she's working on some different projects at home."
"I'm glad to hear that." You smile. "They must be missing you."
"So they say, yeah." He chuckles.
"It's hard to be away from home." You tell him. "I know it all too well."
His smile drops steadily, but he just nods. "Yes. At least I have the guarantee of returning."
You try so hard to steer every conversation you have away from the games, but it never seems to work. People have so many questions, so many comments, and it's a shame that Coryo is no exception. You suppose that was inevitable. He's one of very few people who somewhat know what you went through.
You really wish you had met him some other way.
"I'm sorry." He quickly apologizes, sensing your shifted energy. "That was... I shouldn't have said that."
"No, no. It's okay." You insist. "I just... Everyone wants to talk about it all the time. I can't escape it."
"I should have known better. I'm sorry." He says again, taking in a deep breath. "I wanted to be different. I try so hard to not make you think about it and I should have remembered that before I said anything, I just-"
You shake your head, frowning as you look up at him. "I wouldn't expect you to." You tell him. "If I'm honest, you're the one person I think I am okay with discussing it with."
Coryo has to fight back the smile threatening to pull at his cheeks from the relief. You weren't planning on never talking to him again. This was a great sign. He opens his mouth to speak when he hears shouting from up ahead.
"We made it!" Lucy Gray cheers, and sure enough, he can see the lake appearing through the trees.
"Coryo, you gotta see this!" Sejanus's voice follows.
"We made it." You smile, happy to change the subject. "Come on, the water is going to feel so good."
Then, you're jogging up ahead of him and pulling your bag off to leave on the dock.
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taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @scorpiolystoned , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore
okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!
also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)
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sainzproductions · 7 months
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 ⋆ 𝐜. 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐳
where you belatedly realize, you and carlos may never want the same things in life
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SHOWBUZZF1 carlos sainz and y/n y/l/n are reportedly broken up, according to several media outlets. y/n's absence in the monumental race week of monza had raised early suspicions regarding their current score, and the succeeding grand prix's after seemed to further the speculations. her absence was dearly missed during carlos's outstanding feat in singapore and the celebrations thereafter. although the couple's relationship has been widely regarded as a private and lowkey affair, in this instance, it seemed to confirm that the childhood sweethearts had ended their eight year relationship quietly.
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↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
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liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 5,194,920 others.
carlossainz55 qué hermoso fue amarte, my greatest and dearest love.
translation: how beautiful it was to love you.
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username my parents 😭😭😭😭
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 2,193,029 others
yourusername eternally grateful to have known and loved you.
username PLEASE FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY!!! THROW SHADE AT EACHOTHER!!! BE MESSY!!! SAY HE CHEATED AND SAY SHE'S A GOLD DIGGER OR SMTHING!!!
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username tbf i would have taken the private account over a breakup 🥲🥲🥲
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username WICKED DEVIANT HAG!! MAY YOU HAVE TRIPLETS!! QUADRUPLETS!!! MAY YOU HAVE CHILDREN EVERYWHERE YOU GO!!!!
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↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
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SHOWBUZZF1 in separate posts, sainz and y/l/n shared a very brief but heartfelt anecdote indirectly adressed to eachother. the pair seemed to allude that their breakup was entirely amicable, without any ill will directed to eachother. sources tell media outlets, that the decision to part ways was, "well communicated and thought out. both sainz and y/l/n have very different paths, and this seems like the only reasonable decision." adding, "they're still very friendly, but not really friends— you know? i think they could never be as close or as truly open with eachother as they used to be, but there is still love regardless. you don't throw away a connection of more than a decade, just like that.... maybe this just closes a chapter, to make way for a new one."
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misscammiedawn · 2 months
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Hypnosis and Dissociative Disorders
I've been meaning to write this since Charmed.
I shall not point fingers or name names but during Charmed 2024 there was a 101 class that taught that it was unsafe to play with those who dissociate as part of a mental illness. The graphic, which I'll paste below, used the word "Can't".
I wanted to speak to that.
Hypnosis has several different definitions. One could go to a hypnosis event and ask every presenter "define hypnosis in a single sentence" and get a different answer every class, likely a few may even contradict.
One such definition I could use is "Hypnosis is an altered state where a hypnotee is lead to a suggestible state where the hypnotee is dissociated from their conscious thinking." though one could say it is "an altered state that leads to breakdown in critical thinking and a heightened state of suggestibility" or you could start talking about the unconscious or subconscious mind.
Fact is, there's a lot of theory work at play and the language we use to shape the concepts isn't as important as understanding the concepts.
Dissociation is a natural part of hypnosis. It's also a natural part of existing. In much pre-talk patter we as hypnotists tend to ask an introduction level hypnotee to think about their experiences with time dilation, with highway hypnosis, with spacing out, with walking into a room and forgetting why you came in there.
Things so normal that as part of rapport, a hypnotist tends to assume the hypnotee can latch on to one of the concepts.
Dissociation is a spectrum. Literally. Within psychology the DES-II tool grades dissociation experiences on a scale, hence the acronym.
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Graphic source
When people, including myself at times, describe dissociative disorders they tend to be referring to disorders that focus on dissociation as their main symptom. Depersonalization, Derealization and of course Dissociative Identity Disorder. Over the course of my life I have been diagnosed with all three.
But the scale includes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, both complex and standard. Complex simply refers to a level of trauma that has been ongoing long enough that it is not a single memory or incident that triggers the symptoms.
According to the American Psychiatric Association one in eleven people will be diagnosed with PTSD at some point in their life with 3.5m diagnosed per year in the USA.
Which is to say that dissociating as part of an illness includes 8% of the population. Does that mean 8% of all potential hypnotees are too dangerous to play with?
...the answer is not a clear cut, "no". There is some elevated danger. But rather than teaching people not to play with those who live with these experiences, perhaps we can teach why there should be heightened caution and then allow people to navigate together.
We should always strive to educate and provide tools. When you tell a person they can't do something then they'll just do it without understanding why they aren't supposed to or, worse, predators will find those who were excluded from safer spaces. Harm is not reduced, an educator just gets to walk away from the harm with a simple "I said they shouldn't".
And plus, I said 8% of the general population...
Within hypnosis circles I assure you it is far higher when one factors in that multiple studies have supplied evidence that hypnotic susceptibility increases along with dissociative capacity.
Suffice to say, from utilizing hypnotic susceptibility tests (HGSHS) and dissociative tests (SDD and DES) the more a person dissociates, the more susceptible to hypnosis they are.
The human mind uses dissociation as a way of coping with physical and emotional pain, among other necessary inner needs, and so a person suffering from a mental illness that features dissociation becomes a naturally gifted hypnotee. It's a matter of practicing a skill constantly without realizing that they are refining something useful. Wax-On/Wax-Off.
This leads to a number of safety concerns. We've typed on serious concerns such as altering sense of identity and derealization attacks from lack of grounding. This is a topic near and dear to our heart as we acknowledge that we needed to gain an education in how to safely consent to hypnosis play and failing to do so in the past caused harm to ourselves and to those we played with.
So here's a list of potential dangers in playing with those who are further along the dissociative spectrum, how to mitigate those dangers and create a space where everyone can play safely.
I'll focus on hypnotees with dissociative experiences for the most part as the relationship between dissociation and hypnosis is primarily a concern while the hypnotee is in trance. That having been said I acknowledge that Dom Space connects just as much to the spectrum and an entire new post can be made on the topic of performing hypnosis when you have a dissociative disorder.
Heaven knows it is a topic I study feverishly to maintain safety for myself and those who entrust their mind to my care.
So... with that said, let's talk about the dangers.
Abreactions
This is likely the most common concept that comes up when thinking of the relationship between PTSD and hypnosis. An abreaction is the moment a hypnosis session or scene goes off the rails because the hypnotee is actively reacting to a trauma trigger while they are in a suggestible state. Their Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn impulse may be triggered and cause a physical or emotional reaction which was not part of the negotiated/planned scene.
This could be a cut and dry example of "and think about all the times you've been hypnotized right there on that sofa" causing a hypnotee to follow the suggestion and regress in memory to a time before a bad break-up when their former partner hypnotized them on the sofa they are currently on.
It could be an abstract example like "imagining yourself in a field of flowers and breathing in, noting how lovely the scent is, like the most beautiful perfume." causing sense memory to trigger the scent of a perfume that was in the air during a traumatic moment of their life that instantly flips the switch in their mind to go into F/F/F/F mode.
Likely any given hypnotist will experience this at some point in their life. The first example is one that any person could experience. Hypnosis naturally draws upon associations and when you create an association in the present to a negative emotion in the past you will summon it into the present.
With the second example, that association is already there and it was activated during the scene. The source of the abreaction. I avoid using the word "Trigger" both because of shitty internet discourse in the 2010s and because the term is used for other things in hypnosis, but that is what it is. A sense, a memory, an association which causes the source of trauma to intrude upon the present. The danger that the hypnotee experiences in these moments is very real.
Typically when I discuss these topics I put a disclaimer and emphasize how present the traumatic experience is. My hope is that anyone who is interested in hypnosis knows full well how true and powerful inner experiences are. If you doubt that then I sincerely do not know why you are in this community to begin with.
How to prevent an abreaction is important but should never be learned at the expense of learning how to handle an abreaction. Prevention is about disclosing during negotiation, asking the hypnotee to volunteer anything which may activate a negative reaction or simply what topics to avoid. Phobias are common enough examples of things that a hypnotist should know before working.
But disclosing every part of a trance or scene during the early phases of a hypnotic relationship is essential too. This way the hypnotee does not get surprised by anything propping up during play and they can measure their expected reactions before going into a suggestible state.
But if, despite caution, something does happen? What then?
Noting that every abreaction manifests specific to the person, their situation, their emotional state and how the scene caused it to happen. The first thing the hypnotist needs to do is not overreact. Over-correcting is an easy mistake to make in the moment but it will lead to an overall negative outcome.
Assess the situation and try to recognize what is happening. I had mentioned that the reflex is "Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn" this can be obvious like thrashing or ejecting out of trance instantly. It could be something harder to notice like locking up and becoming unresponsive or emotionally regressing to a terrified state.
If the hypnotee is still in trance then do your best to offer comfort and grounding. Remind them what is happening, remind them that they are safe, perform some grounding exercises such as box breathing (breathe in, hold, exhale for a number of seconds).
Touch is a case by case situation here. I know if I were having an emotional flashback to an assault then being touched would launch me further into abreaction territory. If you believe holding a hand would be beneficial then at the very least communicate it "I'm here, I'm going to take your hand, everything's safe, I'm here."
Over distance you should communicate this via modality. "I'm here, just listen to my voice, focus on the sounds in the room, I'm not going anywhere" for an audio example, "Just feel the blanket beneath you, you can brush your fingers against it if you need" for touch based.
The idea is to use emotional comfort, sensory grounding and patience to bring the hypnotee gently out of the moment.
Then apply aftercare and discuss what happened, what could be improved, what the hypnotee needs and acknowledge that the stress of these moments impacts the hypnotist too. Leave room for the hypnotist to recover as much as the hypnotee.
Decide together if this will end the session or not. Do not cut off on principal. If someone is conditioned to believe that displaying their negative reactions will lead to play stopping then they will hide those reactions. Accept that they happen. Learn how to grow together and incorporate care, comfort and safety into every scene.
Spontaneous Hypnotic Amnesia
One danger for those who suffer dissociative disorders is that their brains are very good at editing information. The further down the spectrum one is, the more adept their mind is at naturally pushing away things that they do not wish to think about nor have the capacity to integrate.
One categorization of dissociation is a failure for the brain to integrate information and experience. It is the cause of time dilation, it is why critical thinking is bypassed and it is why those further on the dissociative spectrum are able to compartmentalize their experiences so effortlessly that they can maintain dissociated personalities.
Where most people who practice hypnosis typically have to study how to achieve post-hypnotic amnesia, those who begin working with hypnosis with patholigized dissociative experiences may need to learn how not to experience it. I include this as I have spoken to multiple people who have lived this reality and it is something we ourselves experienced in the past.
Should a newer hypnotee show signs that they are not remembering what is happening during trance, it is a good practice to train them on how to retain information. Hypnotee Agency is a skill that one develops and allowing them the knowledge that they can chose to retain the information during a trance is as important as reinforcing how easy and normal it is to forget when that is a negotiated part of the scene.
All it takes to be safe here is to just remind them that if they wish to and find it enjoyable to do so, they may retain the information from this trance.
Nothing more complicated than that.
Derealization/Unreality
Derealization is a common experience within dissociation that is actually lower on the dissociative spectrum than PTSD. It is when you do not feel attached to your present experiences in real time.
A common version of this is "Deja Vu" which is a sensation where you are having difficulty integrating your present experience because it "feels" like you've already experienced it.
It can manifest in many other ways, however the commonality is that the person experiencing this knows that it's abnormal. When a person is disconnected from their surroundings like this they may experience a barrier between themselves and the world, they may have a distorted sense of time and they may become physically unresponsive and withdrawn.
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Source: Mayo Clinic
The best way to handle this is to make sure that grounding always includes a thorough count-up that lets a person feel both in their body (this will help with depersonalization too) and aware of their surroundings. Ensuring both debriefing and aftercare focus on keeping reality in the room is important when someone's sense of what is real can drift.
For that reason it's a good idea to try and reinforce those ideas of what is real and save them in a little box that can be stored away if there are ever any reality altering suggestions in play, that way retrieving and unpacking that box can just be a natural part of the post-scene.
I linked it earlier, but my post on the topic can be found here.
Depersonalization/Altered States of Identity
Ah, our favorite soapbox.
Much like derealization, depersonalization is a symptom that is lower on the scale than PTSD and is actively invoked during inductions such as the Bandler which turns a handshake into the hypnotee starring at their hand and having the sensation of the hand distanced from their mind. Literally dissociating the hand from your body and using that sensation to build a trance.
It's a good induction. All forms of dissociation are not bad things. That is something I want to make sure an audience fully understands. This post is here to destigmatize, particularly when a 101 class was teaching stigma.
Depersonalization is a disconnection from one's sense of self. These are the moments when one feels like they are not the ones living through a moment, they are experiencing themselves from an outside perspective.
Once again, things that are utilized heavily in induction patter.
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Source: Mayo Clinic
The derealization advice works well in this case, particularly the idea of creating a "back-up" to restore carefully at the end of a scene.
The big difference though is that depersonalization as a natural thing that those with dissociative disorders do can lead to some bleed when doing suggestions which alter a person's sense of self. I highly recommend an optional suggestion or affirmation that can help a hypnotee ground themselves. That may be too close to therapy for many though.
The hard part about being safe with depersonalization symptoms is that they are typically things that we actively engage with during hypnosis. I guarantee at least one person read "Feeling like a robot or that you're not in control of what you say or how you move." and thought of that as an absolute win.
This is where a bit of negotiation and hypnotee agency comes into play. Reality needs to be kept in the room during all hypnosis. Diving into ego-death or erasing reality may be tempting, especially for those who aren't particularly fond of reality or themselves, but it is too dangerous to surrender those things.
My definitive post on the topic has more information.
Though while I'm talking about altered personalities, I want to make something clear which I did not type about much in my Personality Play post...
Plurality
This is a topic on its own which could take on an entire post to itself. I may yet write it. If anyone has read our Madison and Belladonna stories they would know that they are written entirely based upon the life lessons Daja and I have been learning while I began therapy and was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Many of my lessons for how to safely play with plural systems are mixed in with the fiction.
When I say Plural I mean to refer to those who have multiple dissociated personalities, along with circumstances such as dissociative barriers.
There are as many displays of plurality as there are people who experience it. Every system is different. No two people are not on fire (awww).
So with that said, any play on either side of the watch is going to be lead with self-advocating. A hypnotic relationship involving a system (or more than one, even) will need a level of disclosure. Not just that a system exists but how that system manifests. What patterns are known regarding switches, what best works when an unexpected switch occurs, what levels of dissociative barriers exist between alters/parts, what terminology is preferred...
Wait, that's a lot to throw at once.
Our version of plurality is based upon Dissociative Identity Disorder. Which is to say that my system, originating via complex PTSD during childhood, used to have firm dissociative barriers between one another. This meant that, prior to diagnosis, you could have an emotionally charged conversation with me, Dawn, and then the next day Cammie will wake up and depending on the level of dissociation (typically but not always linked to stress or proximity to trauma triggers) will either not remember what happened during that conversation or will not carry the emotions that I had experienced. "Not remembering" can simply be "won't think about"
As I said, it's quite subjective. But the conceit is that with those on the DID spectrum will have a complete disconnect between parts/alters.
For those with less dissociation, but still experience plurality, they may not have amnesia or barriers between parts, allowing themselves to communicate with one another actively.
Within psychological communities there is eternal debate on all of these experiences and one of the more poignant debates is that the difference between DID and OSDD seems to just be a level of severity and that treatment and therapy tactics tend to move DID patients into the OSDD box and so they shouldn't be labeled as separate disorders.
These rules on amnesia, inner communication and emotional consistency between parts typically apply outside of disorders. I do not wish to engage in syscourse. But as above when I mentioned abreactions, those who practice with hypnosis know how capable a mind is to create hypnotically induced personalities. There are experiences outside of the DSM-V and that really shouldn't be a controversial statement.
A switch is when one part/alter trades out for another. The reasons are hyper specific to every system and cannot really be predicted without knowing their circumstances intimately. For instance the scent of lavender will draw me out without fail.
These can happen without warning and during hypnosis. Being cautious about body language, tone of voice and sudden changes in mood are the best you can do without guidance from the one with lived experience.
I'd also cautiously warn to end a scene and check in if there is an unexpected switch and there's no negotiated playbook on what to do in case of a switch.
The first Madison and Belladonna story tells the story of that very circumstance because that happened in my real life.
For safety it is best to try and communicate with the entire system over how to approach any aspect of hypnosis play. Exploring is a collaborative action and it can be a rewarding experience to find what works and what doesn't work. But it does take time.
For some basic "until I know better" rules, I'd say NEVER FORCE A SWITCH is a fairly basic rule, though. Also do not assume consent for a specific part/alter counts as consent for the whole system.
There is so much to say on this topic and I will likely revisit it at another point, but much of the safety tied up with DID and identity based dissociative disorders boils down to the fact that you are negotiating consent for a group and that you cannot always guarantee that the hypnotee at the start of a scene will always be present during the entire scene.
To that, I say treat switches like an abreaction, display acceptance and curiosity and don't get too hung up on the circumstances.
At the end of the day plural folx are just people too, just not person.
So... why did I write all this, anyway?
A lovely friend of mine recently joked that Charmed 2024 was the "Year of Plurality" and in a way they were right. I've been attending the event since 2020 and where my first had been a humble little class of 8 or so people on a Sunday afternoon ran by Vulpes Automata (Vulpes teaches the same class at Plural Positivity, albeit without the hypnosis content, a recording is hosted here) this year's event included many systems declaring themselves as such on their badge, both an in-person and online unconference that stretched beyond the time limits put in place and were feverishly well attended.
It has done my heart so good to see the safety and community growing and becoming more accepting.
It reminds me of the community's slow growth to accepting and embracing the transgender community in the mid-2010s.
Which is why I wish to be firm about trying to stop bad ideas from taking root in how we teach on these topics.
Some may remember that in the 2000s, respectable resources teaching hypnokink used to state firmly to "confirm biological sex" with any potential play partner. Said material has been revised. Times change and communities grow.
So when I see this teaching graphic saying that those who dissociate as part of a mental illness "Can't" be hypnotized, due to safety concerns? I get worried.
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It was being used in a 101 class at the very same Charmed event that I am praising for having such good acceptance of plural experiences?
I lived this once as a closeted transgender woman. I don't want to live it again with our DID.
And I remember that "never play with anyone who has a mental illness" used to be taught in the same resources that once said to disclose one's "biological sex". People have taught this in classes and been approached by someone who had a mental illness and told how ignorant it was to teach that they could not be played with.
We, as a community, can do better.
I'd rather a 3 hour 101 become a 4 hour 101 and teach this material than to dismiss those who are the most vulnerable and susceptible and have them seek their trances from those who do not have reservations about safety and ethics.
Thank you for reading. I know this was a big soap box.
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headspace-hotel · 10 months
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I am a dedicated water enjoyer but i have such a hard time believing that the "recommended" amount of water you are supposed to drink per day is legit ngl
According to google you're "supposed" to drink 125 ounces of water per day (almost a gallon). (I'm tempted to call this bullshit even just based on the fact that it's just one of several different answers.) At what point in the evolution of our species would this have been possible, especially in hot environments where you're out sweating in the sun and would need even more water?
Like okay, for one thing, drinking water by lapping it up or with your hands makes it a lot more time consuming to ingest a significant quantity of water. Furthermore, drinking from stagnant pools will give you illnesses that will kill you, and clean springs and mountain streams aren't exactly everywhere.
Did hunter-gatherers that spent their days tracking large game stop 8 times a day to guzzle down water? How did they have the fucking time to do this? Where were they getting it? Were they lugging gallons of water with them all the time in animal skin bags or something? Could they drink 4 standard water bottles' worth of water in one go whenever they found a water source? A lot of springs don't even produce water that fast??
Humans have lived in literal deserts for thousands of years!! Indoor plumbing is a new thing! Our culture is so water-centric that "around the water cooler" is slang for a casual social situation at work, most buildings have fountains specifically for dispensing drinking water, lobbies and hotels everywhere have vending machines that dispense beverages, and an important form of self-expression in public is carrying large, decorated water bottles. And yet somehow we're all chronically dehydrated and should be drinking more water??
Why would evolution adapt us to require more water than thirst can or will signal us to drink, anyway? Isn't that the reason thirst exists? 
(Also, has anyone who makes this shit up ever tried to drink that much water?? I used to drink 32 ounces of water over a 2 hour period, and I needed to go to the bathroom every 10-20 minutes to avoid pissing myself, like I would be in pain within minutes. If my body is getting rid of such insane quantities of water that my piss is basically water and I'm going to the bathroom every 20 minutes, that seems like a clear sign that my body does not want to have so much water in it.)
But I digress. At what point in time before the modern day would it have been possible for a human to ingest 8 glasses of water every day or 120 ounces or whatever is supposedly ideal??? If "dehydration" is the default state and has been for millions of years what does "dehydration" even MEAN?? Make it make sense...
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reasonsforhope · 1 day
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"In cities across the country, people of color, many of them low income, live in neighborhoods criss-crossed by major thoroughfares and highways.
The housing there is often cheaper — it’s not considered particularly desirable to wake up amid traffic fumes and fall asleep to the rumble of vehicles over asphalt.
But the price of living there is steep: Exhaust from all those cars and trucks leads to higher rates of childhood asthma, cancer, cardiovascular disease, and pulmonary ailments. Many people die younger than they otherwise would have, and the medical costs and time lost to illness contributes to their poverty.
Imagine if none of those cars and trucks emitted any fumes at all, running instead on an electric charge. That would make a staggering difference in the trajectory, quality, and length of millions of lives, particularly those of young people growing up near freeways and other sources of air pollution, according to a study from the American Lung Association.
The study, released [February 28, 2024], found that a widespread transition to EVs could avoid nearly 3 million asthma attacks and hundreds of infant deaths, in addition to millions of lower and upper respiratory ailments...
Prior research by the American Lung Association found that 120 million people in the U.S. breathe unhealthy air daily, and 72 million live near a major trucking route — though, Barret added, there’s no safe threshold for air pollution. It affects everyone.
Bipartisan efforts to strengthen clean air standards have already made a difference across the country. In California, which, under the Clean Air Act, can set state rules stronger than national standards, 100 percent of new cars sold there must be zero emission by 2035.
[Note: The article doesn't explain this, but that is actually a much bigger deal than just California. Basically, due to historically extra terrible pollution, California is the only state that's allowed to allowed to set stronger emissions rules than the US government sets. However, one of the rules in the Clean Air Act is that any other state can choose to follow California's standards instead of the US government's. And California by itself is the world's fifth largest economy - ahead of all but four countries. California has a lot of buying power. So, between those two things, when California sets stricter standards for cars, the effects ripple outward massively, far beyond the state's borders.]
Truck manufacturers are, according to the state’s Air Resources Board, already exceeding anticipated zero-emissions truck sales, putting them two years ahead of schedule...
Other states have begun to take action, too, often reaching across partisan lines to do so. Maryland, Colorado, New Mexico, and Rhode Island adopted zero-emissions standards as of the end of 2023.
The Biden administration is taking similar steps, though it has slowed its progress after automakers and United Auto Workers pressured the administration to relax some of its more stringent EV transition requirements.
While Barret finds efforts to support the electrification of passenger vehicles exciting, he said the greatest culprits are diesel trucks. “These are 5 to 10 percent of the vehicles on the road, but they’re generating the majority of smog-forming emissions of ozone and nitrogen,” Barret said...
Lately, there’s been significant progress on truck decarbonization. The Biden administration has made promises to ensure that 30 percent of all big rigs sold are electric by 2030...
Such measures, combined with an increase in public EV charging stations, vehicle tax credits, and other incentives, could change American highways, not to mention health, for good."
-via GoodGoodGood, February 28, 2024
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animeyanderelover · 1 month
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Can I ask  NSFW headcanon for Muzan? Thank You 😊
What would the reaction be like if Yoriichi, Muzan, Carla and Reiji with a s/o who had an extremely complicated pregnancy, they almost lost their s/o and the baby, pls pls 🤧
I am no doctor so I would appreciate any corrections of errors I might have made. This might also be somewhat more extreme but I went with what I found on the internet.
Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, toxic relationship, abduction, manipulation, gaslighting, clinginess, controlling behavior, pregnancy, forced pregnancy, labor, high-risk pregnancy, premature labor, birth, cannibalism, illness, cardiac arrest, C-section
Tags: @leveyani @kanaosprotector
Extremely complicated pregnancy
Reiji Sakamaki
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☕️A life with Reiji is thoroughly scheduled as he always needs to have control over every little thing in your life. The already tight leash you had on you only becomes tighter the moment you manage to get pregnant with his child. He oversees everything strictly in your life from that day on from the food you consume to the drinks you choose. He’s very adamant that you stay healthy and deliver him a healthy child. A child that he has been planning to have with you for a longer time now. He has read every available source, he has created a diet schedule for you and he feels validated in his speculation and research when you actually find yourself craving occasionally blood which he immediately provides you with since you carry a vampire baby. You normally refuse the consumption of blood from humans because you’re still human yourself which leads always to him forcing it past your lips and down your throat. Consider the health of your baby before being such an unreasonable and neglectful mother-to-be. His own mother always ignored him so Reiji is extremely dedicated to ensure that you are a good mother to his own child.
☕️The first few months of the pregnancy go rather well. Besides the common morning sickness, some headaches and mood swings the baby develops healthily inside your womb. Reiji monitors everything extremely closely and you have him checking on your condition and the condition of the little one almost daily. Whenever you lash out on him due to his restricting schedules, he always quickly puts you back in your place by sharply scolding you for your immature behavior. He's designing the nursery room for the baby, accompanies you whenever he deems that it's time for you to take a walk outside and get some fresh air. The baby starts visibly moving around and kicking your insides when you are 19 weeks along and from that day on Reiji even starts observing the movements of the baby because any lack of it or very frequent movements can also indicate whether the baby is feeling fine or not. He has even already chosen a handful of names although he decides to wait until the baby is born and he can see them for the first time.
☕​It's within your fifth month that you start experiencing complications. There is an increase in your headache, you suffer from shortness of breath, your vision is blurry or you see dark spots dancing in front of your eyes and you also experience abdominal pain. You would like to think that this is normal but you can't deny that some of those symptoms scare you and the way Reiji's eyes narrow when you are forced to tell him about it only adds to your growing anxiety. When he runs some tests on you and realizes that your blood pressure is elevated, he starts getting worried. This shouldn't happen. He has always hated it when something didn't go according to his plan but your current pregnancy only heightens the stress he is feeling because right now he can't afford that anything goes wrong. The slight panic he initially feels manifests itself into accusations against you as he questions if you have done something that has caused your high blood pressure. His preparations should have been perfect. It is not his fault.
☕​Soon he is too busy closely monitoring your increasingly worsening condition to put the blame on you though as your symptoms have worsened. Your vision randomly blurs or darkens, your headache has led to increased nausea and has made it difficult for you to stomach food, your hands and face have swollen and Reiji has even started suspecting that the blood supply to your placenta doesn't work as it should. The baby doesn't grow and develop as it should due to the lack of blood supply and with each passing week he starts worrying more and more about it. He tries everything he can think of to cease your dizziness and your nausea, the abdominal pain and the lacking blood supply to your placenta but nothing seems to really work. There is no medicine or cure to your symptoms and when Reiji realizes that he can't do anything, the only choice he is left with is trying to prolong the pregnancy long enough to guarantee the survival of his darling and his baby. He starts mentally preparing himself to perform a C-section on you if worst should come to worst.
☕​The worst case scenario happens in your 33rd week when premature labor starts together with intense abdominal pain. You are weakened from weeks of dizziness, nausea and stress and the sheer exhaustion from labor proves too much for you as you faint after a few hours. This leaves Reiji with pretty much no choice but a Caesarean section, especially since the fetus is in breech position. Normally he would be pretty confident in his skills but there is too much on the line for him and this stops him from staying as level-headed as he would like. The little girl he pulls out from your womb during the surgery is worringly small even if she is a prematurely born baby. The most difficult step should have been overcome but instead dread fills him when he notices that she isn't breathing. Suddenly he feels like he is carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders as he spends minutes trying to keep the baby alive until his daughter finally manages to breathe independently and starts weakly crying and even then he can't allow himself to relax. Neither you nor the baby are out of health risks after all.
☕​You are quite weakened after the difficult pregnancy and the surgery and it takes you a few weeks until you feel somewhat healthy enough again to walk longer distances without any help and do certain tasks without experiencing any pain. Just because you can theoretically do it though doesn't mean by a long shot that Reiji will let you. He has become overly cautious after the birth. He's extremely skittish whenever he monitors the health of the baby due to her breathing issues upon birth and worried for any lasting damage she might have suffered due to her restricted development in your womb. You find yourself spending the first few weeks after the surgery mostly spending time with your daughter whilst Reiji is doing everything else. He monitors the health of his darling and their daughter, he cooks for his s/o and he assists whenever and however he can. He feels stressed out even after the condition of you and the baby stabilize because in his mind he can't stop agonizing over the fact that he could do little to nothing to help you in any way.
Carla Tsukinami
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🔮​If you wind up being Carla's darling and can biologically bear children, prepare yourself for giving him a child. Carla expects his darling to give him a healthy and strong heir and there will be no room for discussion. You will bear him his child and you will be a good and attentive mother to his baby. All of this happens only after Carla has already broken your mind down enough for you to be completely putty in his hold. Pregnancy is the final step, the final claim he can lay on you to mark you for all eternity as his and at that point you will happily accept his wish of wanting a baby with you. You love him after all and you're sure that you'll love a child with the same golden eyes as his just as much. It is extremely pleasing to see your quick embrace of the idea and he wastes very little time after he has told you about his plans to see it through that you are pregnant as soon as possible. It doesn't take long for him until he senses the new life deep within your womb. He couldn't be more pleased in that moment.
🔮​Similar to Reiji, Carla will be very controlling as soon as he has confirmed that you are expecting his heir. You are always kept within his vicinity and you aren't allowed to go anywhere without informing him. He wouldn't want anything to happen to you, especially with his brother around. That rarely happens though as you are pretty obedient and listen to him which means that you allow him to lead you outside and go for a walk. You feel pretty sick quite often and spend a lot of time on the toilet whenever nausea grabs a hold of you. Shin has made fun of you once when he saw you hanging over the toilet which struck the wrong cord in you in that moment and actually led you to shed tears of shame. You only know that Carla wasn't too pleased when you started crying because of Shin and told you that he'd talk with his brother. Ever since Shin has been trying his best to not say anything within your presence although he looks like he has a lot of snarky stuff he could say. You spend a large amount of time only with Carla though, basking in his affection and joy due to your pregnancy.
🔮​As soon as your bump really starts showing is when other symptoms start to appear. Your hunger increases significantly as soon as the baby bump shows and this makes it difficult for you since Carla has put you on a diet to keep you and the baby healthy. You have troubles keeping your temper under control when he initially always denies you your cravings but you try your best to stay quiet. Until the intense craving for blood starts one day and you start feeling sluggish and weak. That is when Carla starts paying more attention to your cravings. You’re only human, you would under normal conditions never want to consume blood. Is it the baby that makes you crave blood? He has obviously speculated how a pregnancy with a vampire baby would go for your mortal body but speculations don’t necessarily have to line up with the reality. He decides to give in to your new cravings this time as he notices how your energy gets drained. The blood seems to replenish your energy for a while.
🔮The bigger the baby swells though, the more it seems to drain your energy. You grow more tired and exhausted with each month that passes by no matter how much blood Carla lets you consume or how much you eat. Very little of the food you digest is actually used for your own energy as the baby seems to take all the nutrients it needs and leaves very little for you. You lose weight and feel dizzy and exhausted whilst the baby is thriving. Soon it starts getting so bad that you can’t even walk properly on your own anymore without the danger of collapsing. Carla has to assist you even when you go to the toilet and despite your weak protest and tears of shame, he doesn’t allow you anything anymore without his help. The baby sucks everything out of you, he can see your clear struggle everyday as your energy drops and your pain increases due to the heavy weight of the baby inside of you and its strong kicks that feel like it’ll burst out of you any moment. The closer you get to your due date, the weaker and thinner you become. This isn’t good.
🔮Miraculously you make it to your due date until your water breaks but it comes with a heavy price. You’re exhausted, you’re tired and you barely have any energy left to even push properly. All of this is made even worse by the fact that the baby has grown a lot whilst it was protected inside of you. They are big which makes the entire process even more arduous as your body tries its hardest to squeeze the infant out of your body and down your birth channel. When the shoulders of the baby get stuck though and prevent you from giving birth to the baby, everything takes quickly a turn for the worse. Nothing seems to help. That’s when Carla takes action, fully aware that being stuck could end up harming the baby. You can vaguely recall the burning feeling when he abruptly reaches his hand out into your vagina in an attempt to turn the baby around. It’s a painful and uncomfortable feeling that is the final push you need before you finally succumb to unconsciousness which leaves Carla alone to guide the baby out of your body.
🔮You suffer from a fourth-degree tear and malnutrition for weeks after birth which leaves you completely bedridden under Carla’s guidance. His son on the other hand suffered from fractures to his upper arm bone. All of this is rather upsetting and frustrating to Carla who didn’t expect a shoulder dystocia to occur during the birth of his own heir. He spends nearly all of his time in his chambers where he nurses you and the baby back to health. Shin rarely runs into his older brother for that reason. Every time he does spot Carla, he’s always tempted to ask him mockingly how you and his nephew are doing, considering that you went through all of this hell only because of Carla’s wish for an heir. The piercing glare Carla gives him whenever he opens his mouth to ask that question keeps him from doing so though. The younger Tsukinami brother isn’t allowed to visit you and the little boy either, especially not when neither of you has fully recovered. Until that day comes, no one will see you two.
Kibutsuji Muzan
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🩸​There have never been any records of demons and humans procreating. If there would have been, Muzan as the King of Demons would have known about it. Technically speaking he has no real need nor any interest in any children of his own. He doesn't need any heir for he is immortal and doesn't plan to ever give up his position to anyone else for he plans to become the perfect existence. Perhaps there is a spark of curiosity though as soon as he has you in his life as it is a thought that often crosses his mind when he dumps his cum inside of you. He has a fondness for science after all but none of it has ever led him to actively try for a baby with you. Then one day he senses the little heartbeat inside of you, senses the new life that has been spawned in your womb. Whilst he isn't actively thrilled about the pregnancy and might even consider an abortion, ultimately it is his scientific interest that manages to stop him from removing the thing from you. A part of him hopes that this child will be able to develop an immunity against the sun due to being only a half demon.
🩸​Since Muzan has always gotten his way with you, you are left with little to no choice but accept his decision to keep the child for now. Your feelings about the little baby currently developing inside of you are confusing as you despise him for forcing you to keep it. Yet you bow down in fear whenever you are faced with his displeasure when he sees you expressing those feelings and thoughts in front of him. This little life inside of you has been directly created by him and perhaps this plays a large fact in why he won't tolerate you thinking about it in such a way. Because the baby will have more from him than any of the demons he has created throughout his entire life. Muzan views himself in the highest light, as a near god, so something that will have his genetics must be strong too. You don't seem to realize that your unwillingness to embrace the thought of having his child will only make him more determined to keep it since he won't allow you to reject something that has been directly created by him.
🩸​Too prideful to show any lingering questions he has in regards of the unique biology his baby will have due to being created by a demon and a human, Muzan just monitors your pregnancy very closely. Partially because of his fascination to finally know that such a pregnancy will be like and partially because he doesn't know what might happen. It is this selfish mindset that soon leads you down a path of misery. Your body is unable to handle the creature inside your womb that seems to suck out all the energy and proteins meant for you whenever you force something down your throat despite your growing nausea. The growth spurt the baby has is abnormal for the first few months but all of this comes with the cost of your own decline of health. Everything is painful and everything is tiring and the little baby is incredibly strong starting from their first kicks. At this rate it is already far too late for Muzan to do anything. Through your pain and your exhaustion you sometimes bitterly blame him for what he puts you through but you never get any apology from him and you know exactly why. He would never admit it after all.
🩸​Then everything suddenly stops though. The growth of your bump and the kicks and hits of the baby inside. There is suddenly no movement anymore at all and despite your not so positive feelings, you slowly start to worry about it. Your own condition isn't improving too greatly though as your food either gets thrown up by you or still seems to be received by the fetus instead. Muzan has already noticed it too. He can still sense the heartbeat within but to his own growing dread it seems to get weaker by the days. His mind is racing as to why and the steadily weakening condition of you and the baby only seem to be a reminder that the time he has to find a solution is limited. Eventually he starts considering that the baby you bear is technically still a demon too. He starts considering that the baby might have reached a phase within their development where the current food you consume isn't sufficient enough anymore. Maybe they need some human flesh. Even though you refuse when he first brings up his theory, Muzan doesn't care as he shoves it from that day on down your throat and to his satisfaction his idea was right.
🩸​Yet he can't enjoy the fact that his theory was right for too long. Your body, unable to handle the large amount of energy and nutrition the baby steals from it, goes into premature and sudden labor in the seventh month. Neither of you two two are prepared for it and even the baby seems to be unhappy about your body giving up on them as they start making a ruckus inside your womb, only adding to the pain you are already feeling. Muzan is unable to calm the irritated baby down. Everything happens too fast for him to even prepare anything. Your body is in a rush to expel the baby from inside you and their frequent and wild movement only cause them to slide down your birth channel faster. The frequent activity of your baby soon comes to a hold though. Their umbilical cord got flattened and Muzan is met with deafening silence when the bloody infant lays in his arms. It is this silence that makes him suddenly lose his composure as the motionless child reminds him vividly of his own birth. Not his own child too. He spends minutes frantically reanimating the infant before she finally lets out her first weak cries.
🩸If your own condition should have worsened any more, Muzan probably would have turned you into a demon. Somehow your fragile body pulled through though and in a way he’s relieved about that. Because for now it would be more beneficial to let you stay human and care for the little girl you gave birth to. With her black hair and her red and bleary eyes she looks a lot like Muzan and perhaps it’s her visible similarity to him that fills his heart with pride. She recovers quicker than you from her troublesome birth, probably because she is half demon. Her appetite is as insatiable as it was during her time in your womb though and to your slight horror she still has her preferences to the taste of human blood and flesh together with your breastmilk. Muzan gives her what you don’t want to give her as he has realized that she probably needs the different nutrients to develop properly just like she needed whilst being in your belly. Now that the baby is born, he forbids you from expressing any hesitation and confusion when you’re taking care of her. This girl is his own flesh and blood and he won’t tolerate you not loving her who is so much like him.
Tsugikuni Yoriichi
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☀️Pregnancy should be a joyful occasion for parents yet despite the expected happiness and joy Yoriichi feels when it becomes known that you are expecting his child, there is also a gnawing fear that haunts him. He can't help but recall the heart-wrenching fate that befell Uta and the unborn baby. Even if he has you now in his life, this is a memory he is unable to forget as he often still blames himself for their deaths through the hand of a demon. The slow growth of your bump triggers those haunting memories and sometimes he dreams of the same scene he saw when he returned home to Uta, only that it is now your body torn apart with the precious child murdered before it even had the chance to live. Yoriichi becomes very protective and paranoid over you as he doesn't think that he could bear a repeat of what has already once happened to him. There is always this underlying fear and paranoia that make him much more aware of his surroundings even as he rejoices when he witnesses the first kicks of his baby. His katana is always kept close, especially when night comes where he finds himself often lying awake.
☀️​As winter is already awaiting, Yoriichi makes an effort to keep you warm and protected and your home as cozy as possible. He never leaves you as soon as the sun goes down as he now knows better. All tasks are usually finished within the day so that he can stay by your side and protect you as soon as it gets dark. Despite his efforts to always keep you warm and healthy though, you seem to catch a cold. It is nothing to be worried over though. You have a light headache, your throat hurts whenever you swallow and you cough. You are not really worried though and even assure Yoriichi that it'll pass by soon. Despite feeling already a bit more fatigued due to your pregnancy and now your illness, you still feel fine. You decide to stay inside nevertheless as he fetches you a doctor to monitor your condition. After all you know of his loss of his first pregnant wife so you try to make him feel better and calmer by letting a doctor tell him that you are fine and that you will be fit in a few days again. When Yoriichi returns with the doctor, you feel slightly febrile.
☀️​What should have been only a mild cold soon turns into a serious condition though. Maybe it is because you are pregnant and are just more prone to bacteria yet such explanations do nothing to help Yoriichi's terrified heart. Despite your weak protests to leave the room so he doesn't catch what you have, he stays faithfully with you as your fever soon feels like it is burning your skin and sweat coats your skin. Every swallow is a small challenge as it brings you uncomfortable pain and you are often thrown into coughing fits, your throat coated with phlegm and constantly itching in a dry way. With your worse condition, Yoriichi has asked the doctor to come by every day. He does whatever he can do to help you. He cooks for you and feeds you even if you should have no hunger or simply feel too tired and he heads the advices of the doctor when giving you the medicine that should help your condition. His chest is tight with fear and worry as he feels anxious whenever he sees your bump and wonders how your sick body may also negatively impact the baby.
☀️​Perhaps it is just his fate to watch helplessly as he loses everyone he loves in his life. First his brother, then Uta and his unborn child and now you and the baby you are carrying. Yoriichi can only watch helplessly how you grow weaker and weaker as the days pass by. Your lips are chappy and dry and your skin coated in ill sweat as your whole body is uncomfortably hot due to your fever. Yet even in this condition you try to soothe Yoriichi in his silent despair and promise him that it'll soon get better even as he has to support your weak body when you want to walk around. Your sick appearance always tears his heart apart, his sorrow growing by the day yet he tries to stay strong for you. But this thin threat snaps when your contractions start at only 30 weeks. His whole body is shaking and silent tears cascade down his face as a the doctor and a midwife he brought with him try their best to help you to deliver the baby. He feels small, insignificant and terrifyingly helpless as he stays by your side and with every scream and cry you let out he thinks he is more desrving of death for not being able to save anyone in his life.
☀️​Even after you have made it through birth and have delivered a little boy does his torment continue. Your health plummets down after labor as your body is left severely weakened after the physical exertion that leaves you in a nearly unconscious state as you are too exhausted and sick to even leave. Your sickness soon spreads out to his newborn son and even if his heart is already tattered and torn enough, Yoriichi only continues to suffer. Wherever he goes, he is only reminded of his cursed fate. He spends his time either catering to your needs, his heart screaming whenever you ask in your weak condition for your son or he silently watches over the baby whose little body is desperately battling against the deadly cold. He is too terrified to fall asleep anymore at night, too afraid to wake up one morning to your cold body or to the motionless body of his baby. Instead he lays awake at night, his heart beating anxiously as he listens to your troubled breaths and the breaths of the little baby. Sometimes it becomes too much for him and he is left muffling his sobs with his hand at night.
☀️​Many days pass before you finally start feeling better. You're still feeling slightly feverish but you are able to move by yourself anymore. Yoriichi, who is feeling an overwhelming urge to hug you, kiss you and show you how grateful he is that you are still alive, has to hold himself back as you aren't fully cured yet and still need recovery. You're finally able to interact with your son and the sight of you holding the child that both of you created is a small remedy for his bruised and broken heart, even if the baby is also still sick. He slowly starts recovering though together with you as he receives all the love and care he could possibly get from you, Yoriichi and the doctor. It still takes weeks until his son as well as you are fully recovered and well again and for the first time in a while he feels like he can see the light again. Despite his own exhaustion and tiredness from all his fear he is especially attentive and loving with you and his little son. He just wants the both of you to know how much it really means to him that both of you are still alive and with him.
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inber · 6 months
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I really like doing DIY hampers, and someone told me I should share my go-to for a sick loved one. It's good for physical and mental illnesses; it has a mix of practical and fun things, some of which you can make yourself or thrift (at your discretion).
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From left to right:
A mug, lemon and ginger tea, and a small jar of (locally sourced if possible) honey.
A soft pair of socks.
Shower steamers for breathing (if the person has a respiratory illness) or for uplifting. If they have a bath, bath bombs.
Disposable no-rinse toothbrushes.
A little hands-on kit eg: dinosaur skeleton puzzle (make sure it is low effort and everything they need is included).
Nice smelling room/pillow spray (you can make this yourself with a clean spray bottle, water, and a few drops of essential oil; lavender and/or peppermint is great).
A few scratch lottery tickets.
Body or baby wipes.
Some trashy magazines (the ones that are like 'I married my cat!' are always fun).
Hydralyte or similar electrolyte supplement.
A large dishwasher safe water bottle (I love Camelbak ones; they are 1.5L/50oz and made with recycled plastic).
Some treats according to your person's preference.
Not pictured, but you could add essentials depending on their illness, eg: paracetamol, ibuprofen, vicks inhaler, aloe tissues.
Obviously this is all budget dependent and you can mix and match. Put your chosen items in a shoebox or basket with some tissue paper and a note, and ta-da! You are a hero!!
I hope this helps or inspires someone. :)
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frameacloud · 7 months
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A list of some alterhuman identities and groups (cut version)
About this article
This article is a five-minute read. It gives definitions and sources about (in alphabetical order) alterhumans, constelics, daemons, dragons, endels, furries, fictionfolk, nonhumans, otherkin, plural systems, therianthropes, tulpas, and vampires. These alterhuman community historians, archivists, and writers wrote this article together in August and September 2023: Orion Scribner, House of Chimeras, Page Shepard, Dinocanid, Ryuu Yumemoto, Draconic Wizard Workshop, and others. You have permission to repost this article, if you keep the list of authors, don't change what the article says, and don't use it for money. This is shared under this type of Creative Commons license: Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs (CC BY-NC-ND).
Alterhumans
In 2014, Lio of the Crossroads System created this word as an umbrella term and identity for anyone who feels they have an identity beyond the scope of how one might typically think of “being human.”^1 Later, the alterhuman advocacy group Alt+H popularized this word. According to the coiner and Alt+H, it includes but is not limited to nonhumans.^2 Some groups who can opt-in to considering themselves under the alterhuman umbrella are otherkin, therianthropes, fictionfolk, plural systems, daemians, vampires, voluntary identities, furries, and more.^3 This umbrella is very broad because its purpose is to give these communities something to unite under without erasing their distinctions.^4
Constelic
Coined by Extranth in 2021, a person who is constelic identifies with or as one or more entities, objects, concepts, species, items, or characters throughout their life.^5 A constelic may collect or hoard any number of these identities for any number of reasons, as their identities are non-inherent and are considered to be entirely extrinsic.^6 Constels may be voluntary or involuntary identities,^7 and can be intense or casual, but they are often non-permanent.^8 
Daemians and daemons
Daemians are people who have daemons, which are most often described as mental constructs or a part of an individual’s consciousness which has been assigned a unique gender, form, and personality.^9 Some daemians consider themselves plural.^10 Their community started in 2002, inspired by Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials fantasy novel trilogy.^11
Dragons
The dragon community started in the 1990s in an online group called alt.fan.dragons.^12 They identify as dragons for spiritual or psychological reasons. They are draconic, and they refer to this part of themselves as their draconity.^13 In the 2000s, the dragon community started to mingle with the other communities: with dragon otherkin (dragonkin)^14 and dragon therians.^15
Endels
Mental health experts say that being alterhuman isn’t the same as being mentally ill.^16 For alterhumans who do have mental illnesses, that can be an important part of their everyday life and their sense of self. Endel is a word for alterhuman identities that are rooted in or greatly influenced by delusion. Babydog coined this word in 2021, by and for delusional alterhumans.^17
Furries
The furry fandom is a large subculture that began at sci-fi conventions in the 1980s.^18 It’s for creating and enjoying art, stories, costumes, and roleplay about fictional human-like (anthropomorphic) animal characters, called furries. Many fandom participants choose to represent themselves as their furry persona (fursona), which can be just for fun, though it can be meaningful about who they are.
Fictionfolk
Fictionfolk is an umbrella term for many sorts of identities that come partly or wholly from fiction.^19 Fictionkin identify as characters or species from fiction,^20 and their community started in the early 2000s.^21 A plural system member with origins from fiction is a fictive, which psychologists call a fictional introject.^22 When someone has the brief experience of becoming someone or something from fiction, that’s a fictionflicker, which psychologists call experience-taking.^23 
Nonhumans
An umbrella term for those of us who identify as partly or wholly not human: therianthropes, otherkin, and more. Many nonhumans opt to include themselves under the alterhuman umbrella.
Otherkin
Otherkin are elves, dragons, or other beings, usually from mythology. It’s always an important part of who they are throughout their lives, not role-play for fun.^24 The community started in the Elfinkind Digest mailing list in 1990, when they started calling themselves otherkind or otherkin.^25 Their reasons for being otherkin are often spiritual, for example, from reincarnation.^26 However, otherkin is not a religion.^27
Plural systems
Plurality (or multiplicity) is an umbrella term for all experiences and identities in which more than one entity, consciousness, or pseudo-consciousness exists within one physical body,^28 for systems who are or can be diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly called multiple personality disorder (MPD), as well as systems who do not meet those diagnostic criteria. Plurality and multiplicity as terms have always been inclusive of systems regardless of their origin or diagnoses.^29 Some plural systems have members who aren’t human or who are fictional characters or species.^30 Multiplicity can be an interchangeable synonym for plurality, or multiplicity can mean a form of plurality in which more than one person, self, or identity is within a single body.^31
Therianthropes
Therianthropes are people who have a lifelong identification as a certain species of animal on an integral, personal level.^32 Some are other species than animals from Earth.^33 The therian community started in 1993 in an online group, alt.horror.werewolves.^34 They developed jargon about shapeshifting to describe feeling more animal-like at some times. These changes are mental or spiritual, not physical.^35 Some have sensations of phantom limbs.^36 Some feel consistently animal-like at all times.^37 In the late 1990s and early 2000s, therians started mingling with the otherkin community.^38
Tulpas and tulpamancers
A tulpamancer is someone who practices tulpamancy, which is the act of creating tulpas.^39 A tulpa is an autonomous conscious entity who shares the body and brain of their creator.^40 Tulpamancy is often considered to be a part of the plurality umbrella.^41 
Vampire Community
The vampyre or vampire community (VC) is for people who identify as vampires and require sustenance.^42 Those who drain energy are energy vampires or psi-vampires.^43 Sanguinarians drink blood.^44 Hybrid vampires need both.^45 Vampire lifestylers and donors are in the VC, too.^46 
None of the above
Some participants of our communities are not themselves alterhumans. However, they’re here because they’re curious, or they’re our friends, family, and partners.
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Endnotes
Please click to open this so you can read all of the sources that we cited. They are all here below.
1. Lio of the Crossroads System (September 26 2014). "This will probably be my last post on semantics..." Phasmovore. https://phasmovore.tumblr.com/post/98482696958/
2. Lio of the Crossroads System (May 27, 2023). https://x-rds.tumblr.com/post/712949341799727104/ Alt+H (September 17 2021) “What does alterhuman mean?” Alt+H. https://blog.alt-h.net/post/165592493965/what-does-alterhuman-mean
3. Kiera Ember. “Alterhuman Dictionary.” Beyond Humanity. https://www.beyondhumanity.net/alterhuman-dictionary/dictionary-a Ana Valens (September 25 2020). “Otherkin are the internet’s punchline. They’re also our future.” Daily Dot. https://www.dailydot.com/irl/otherkin/  Alt+H, “FAQ” https://alt-h.net/educate/faq.php
4. Lio of the Crossroads System (February 19, 2023). https://x-rds.tumblr.com/post/709694807213211648/
5. Extranth. “An Introduction to Constelic” https://web.archive.org/web/20230519124625/https://constelic.carrd.co/
6. Extranth (May 19, 2021). “Constelic!” https://extranth.tumblr.com/post/651652168396472320/constelic-1-whats-constelic-constelic-or
7. Constelic (May 27, 2022). “How are Constelic and Otherlink different?” https://constelic.tumblr.com/post/685380822139813888/how-are-constelic-and-otherlink-different
8. Constelic (April 12, 2022). “The wild thing with stels for me is how sometimes…” https://constelic.tumblr.com/post/681308197084135424/the-wild-thing-with-stels-for-me-is-how-sometimes
9. The Daemon Page, “Introduction” https://daemonpage.com/introduction.php
10. Daemians & Daemons (March 18 2023). “Hey there! This is a bit of a discussion question…” https://www.tumblr.com/daemians-n-daemons/712142103972560896/hey-there-this-is-a-bit-of-a-discussion-question Rani (June 21 2022). “Okay so I was right dæmonism is turning into my…” A Dragon’s Journal. https://a-dragons-journal.tumblr.com/post/687725978250870784/okay-so-i-was-right-d%C3%A6monism-is-turning-into-my
11. House of Chimeras (October 8 2022). “A Timeline of the Daemon Community” pg. 3 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GVSBMvwKIyTvDIqyqXy2C_7Q4Qx4UK3A/view 
12. ExistingPhantom (October 3 2001). “Alt.Fan.Dragons Frequently Asked Questions.” Dragons Must Be Here. https://web.archive.org/web/20050219002348/http://www.dmbh.org/dragonfire/IndexFAQ.html 
13. Baxil (December 1999). “Draconity FAQ.” Tomorrowlands. http://www.tomorrowlands.org/draconity/faq/index.html  Orion Scribner (September 8, 2012), Otherkin Timeline, version 2.0 http://frameacloud.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Scribner_Timeline2p0.pdf p. 36
14. Orion Scribner, Otherkin Timeline, p. 53.
15. Daski (August 17, 2022). “Therian: Dispelling the Earthen Animal Myth.” The River System. https://theriversystem.neocities.org/essays/EarthenMyth.html  
16. Gavia Baker-Whitelaw (February 22, 2015). “Understanding the otherkin.” The Kernel. Archived March 18, 2015. https://web.archive.org/web/20150318110839/http://kernelmag.dailydot.com/issue-sections/features-issue-sections/11866/otherkin-tumblr-definition-pronouns/ 
17. Babydog, “Endel” https://endel.carrd.co/ 
18. Fred Patten (July 15 2012). "Retrospective: An Illustrated Chronology of Furry Fandom, 1966–1996". Flayrah. https://www.flayrah.com/4117/retrospective-illustrated-chronology-furry-fandom-1966%E2%80%931996 
19. Poppy (January 24, 2023). “Quick guide to fictionfolk terminology.” Aestherians. https://aestherians.tumblr.com/post/707370073217695744/ 
20. Mordax. “What is Fictionkin? An exploratory definition”. From Fiction. https://web.archive.org/web/20220728060858/https://fromfiction.net/index.php/what-is-fictionkin-an-exploratory-definition/ 
21. House of Chimeras (June 21, 2021). A Timeline of the Fictionkin Community, Version 1.0. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1w4vGsWkiGPjYtXvTe4PyCcZsPba1kb_p/view?usp=sharing Page 4.
22. Ryn (Aristocrats) (October 18, 2021). “Fictives: A short introduction” https://pluralsoapbox.wordpress.com/2021/10/18/fictives-a-short-introduction/  Sark (The Interstellar System) (August 9, 2021). “Fictive and Factive FAQ”  https://interstellarsystem.weebly.com/fictive-and-factive-faq.html 
23. Geoff F. Kaufman, Lisa K. Libby (2012). “Changing Beliefs and Behavior Through Experience-Taking.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2012; DOI: 10.1037/a0027525 https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0027525
24. Lupa (2007), A Field Guide to Otherkin, Stafford, England: Immanion Press, pp. 27, 108-109.
25. Arethinn (September 6, 2021). “A brief(ish) history of the word ‘otherkind’.” Mythsong. https://www.mythsong.net/history/wordhist.html 
26. Lupa, pp. 57-66, 287.
27. Lupa, p. 30; and Devin Proctor (May 2019), On Being Non-Human: Otherkin Identification and Virtual Space. The George Washington University. https://search.proquest.com/openview/e156c24bf65c4efb0918a8db37433cce/ pp. 94-95.
28. FreyasSpirit (Lucia Batman) and Irenes (Irene Knapp), “Plurality Playbook” https://freyasspirit.com/plurality-playbook/ 
29. LB Lee (May 28, 2020). “Quick'n'Dirty Plural History... Part 1 (1811-1980ish)” https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1111069.html  LB Lee (June 30, 2020).”Plural History part 2: The Memory Wars” https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1116190.html  LB Lee (July 30, 2020). “Plural History, part 3: Usenet and its spin-offs and Soulbonders” https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1120824.html  LB Lee (August 31, 2020). “Quick'n'Dirty Plural History, part 4 (LJ, the Genic Slapfight, and THE END!)” https://lb-lee.dreamwidth.org/1129216.html 
30. House of Chimeras (May 1, 2021). “A Collection of Mentions of Nonhuman and Fictional-Based Members of Plural Systems” https://drive.google.com/file/d/17TKE_8Lx2ljuTpHNclvaXqvA5AAlkG90/view 
31. Manchester Metropolitan University, “Understanding Multiplicity” https://www.mmu.ac.uk/mmud8/media/10605/download 
32. Sonne (2008). “Terms and definitions.” Project Shift. https://projectshift.therianthropy.info/terms-definitions-by-sonne/ 
33. Daski (August 17, 2022). “Therian: Dispelling the Earthen Animal Myth.” The River System. https://theriversystem.neocities.org/essays/EarthenMyth.html  
34. House of Chimeras (19 November 2021). A Timeline of the Therianthrope Community, Version 1.1. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jDmjl78hQ2BiQtzQMTV3yRQkrIgB9eUZ/view?usp=sharing P 9.
35. Clegg, H., Collings, R., & Roxburgh, E. C. (2019). “Therianthropy: Wellbeing, Schizotypy, and Autism in Individuals Who Self-Identify as Non-Human.” Society & Animals, 27(4), pp. 403-426. doi: https://doi.org/10.1163/15685306-12341540
36. Jakkal (October 6, 2001). “Therianthropy- an overview." Shifters.org. Archived 2002-11-10. https://web.archive.org/web/20021101165313/http://www.shifters.org/overview/therianthropy.asp
37. Akhila (April 2005). “The Contherian FAQ.” https://akhila.feralscribes.org/2005/the-contherian-faq/ 
38. House of Chimeras (November 19, 2021). A Timeline of the Therianthrope Community, Version 1.1. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jDmjl78hQ2BiQtzQMTV3yRQkrIgB9eUZ/view?usp=sharing Pp. 27, 56.
39. Tulpa.io, “Terminologies” https://web.archive.org/web/20160405214050/http://tulpa.io/terminologies 
40. Luigi.exe/The Dragonheart Collective (January 12, 2020). “Tulpamancy FAQ” https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Yb6dfm4JxR5u_oNpHrttJyJHc0NvMhkKUP4Btc4jPc/edit#heading=h.h3onkkn
41. Tulpa.io, “What Is A Tulpa?” https://web.archive.org/web/20160318054103/http://tulpa.io/what-is-a-tulpa 
42. Jayden Night, “What is Vampirism?” https://web.archive.org/web/20080511200648/http://sphynxcatvp.nocturna.org/articles/jn-vamprism.html 
43. Fvorboda, “Psy Vampirism” https://web.archive.org/web/20080513030621/http://sphynxcatvp.nocturna.org/articles/dyscracia-psivamps.html 
44. #Sanguinarius IRC (May 26, 2007). “A Discussion of Sang and Psi Vampires” https://web.archive.org/web/20080108215555/http://www.sanguinarius.org/articles/sang-and-psi-disc.shtml 
45. Enygma, “Real Vampires” https://web.archive.org/web/20080511201408/http://sphynxcatvp.nocturna.org/faq/most-enygma.html 
46. Sanguinarius: The Vampire Support Page, (July 4, 2006). “Sainguinarus Terminology & Lingo” https://web.archive.org/web/20080521005735/http://www.sanguinarius.org/terminology.shtml
345 notes · View notes