#but shawn is like. That clingy guy after a one night stand who thinks that Had Something | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

🔥 = smut 🌈 = readers’ favorite 🌷 = author’s favorite

Find my other masterlists HERE !

No gifts — First Christmas living together you and Shawn agree on not gifting each other, but he has a huge surprise for you.

Lonely Christmas — It’s your first Christmas dating Shawn, but he couldn’t make it for the first day. To cheer you up he calls you in the evening.

Late — Shawn couldn’t make it in time for New Year’s Eve, but you are surprised to see him pull up on your driveway just seconds after midnight.

Wearing nothing 🌈 — You feel like nothing looks good on you after you’ve put on some weight, but Shawn assures you that he is crazy for your curves.

I only need you 🔥🌈 — A heated smut that starts off with an angst filled fight.

Best friends — You’ve been best friends for ages and you realize you feel something more. You cook together like in the old days and some confessions are made at the end of the evening.

Clubbing — You feel uncomfortable in the club with your friends. When a drunk asshole makes a move on you Shawn comes to your rescue.

I miss you — Video chatting with Shawn while he is away, just being cuties online.

Morning — Waking up next to Shawn, getting a little too touchy which makes it harder to leave the bed and start the day.

Dimples — You’re insecure about your dimples so you make up your mind not to smile that much, but Shawn tries hard to see you smile again.

Aging 🌷 — It’s your birthday and it’s making you feel anxious that you are one more year older. In addition, you are older than Shawn and it also bothers you, but he is quick to make you feel better.

Just you — You visit him on tour, but you get jealous of all the time he spends with Alessia. You start fighting about it, but after you go through a not too serious car accident it makes you realize how imprtant you are to each other.

Home 🌷🌈 — During a chill day off at his parent’s place Shawn realizes that home is not a place for him anymore, you are his home. Proposal involved.

Family — You’ve kept it from Shawn that you can’t have kids. Talking about having a family you break down and confess to him thinking he will leave you. His reaction is not what you expected.

Dance moves — After a long day Shawn gets home just to see you busting your best dance moves around the kitchen, putting up your best performance and he can’t help but admire you.

MET 🌈 — Your debut as a couple happens to be at the MET Gala and it’s stressing you out, but Shawn knows just what to say to make you feel better.

I promise — Shawn’s lifestyle is taking a toll on your relationship. After a fight he shows up at your place because it bothered him how your conversation ended on the phone.

Prom 🔥 — Shawn surprises you at prom after making you think he can’t make it. You are so happy to be together again that you can’t hold yourselves back and end up having a quickie in the bathroom.

Tired — Shawn has had a lot on his plate lately so you go to check in on him. You take a shower together and you experience the intimacy of washing each other’s hair.

Chemistry — You do a shoot for CK together, but you get nervous right before it’s time to shine. As always, Shawn knows just exactly how to make you feel better and comfortable.

Fantasy 🔥 — You’ve been fantasizing about giving a blow job to Shawn and your fantasy finally becomes reality, blowing not just his mind.

I got you — You’ve been keeping it a secret that you’re pregnant, worried what Shawn might say, but a sudden incident forces you to confess.

Leaving — You don’t want him to leave again. Emotional conversation in the middle of the night.

Slipped 🌈 — Shawn accidentally reveals at a Q&A that he has a girlfriend.

Happy father’s day 🌷 — A creative way to tell Shawn that you are expecting your first child.

Summer fling — You feel like you’ve been just a summer fling for Shawn, but soon he confesses that it’s much more than that.

Icebath 🌈 — Shawn has been terrified to take an icebath but his body needs it so he agrees to do it but only if you do it with him.

Don’t say my name 🔥 — You absolutely hate the t-shirt he is wearing tonight, so he finds a way to make you like it.

Love Of My Life (part 1) (part 2) 🌷 — Touring with a baby in the first part, touring with a toddler in the second part. Pure fluff with Dad!Shawn.

Better — A blurb where Shawn is the cutest boyfriend ever, holding his girlfriend tight after she had a bad day.

Everything about you 🌷🌈 — You’re Shawn’s personal assistant, have been having feelings for him, but a misunderstood situation pushes you and him farther away from each other until you confront him.

Red thong 🔥 🌈 — Shawn, standing tall, and very much naked, looking down at you, practically fucking you with his eyes, your lacy thong hanging from his mouth that he just pulled off of you with his teeth.

Lesson learned — It’s Shawn’s 21st birthday but not he is the drunkest one. Aaliyah’s first time drinking has him worried, but he finds entertainment in her teasing in the morning.

Sober — bartender!Shawn oneshot where you meet a cute guy during a night out, but he turns out to be the new guy working at your fav bar.

Teeth 🔥🌈— A juicy sugardaddy!ceo!shawn au insipired by Teeth by 5SOS

Unfortunate mistake — You and Shawn used to be an item. Meeting at the VMAs turns out to be more eventful than you imagined when you accidentally kiss him. Or was it meant to happen?

First times 🔥— Shawn and you have shared some firsts, but drifted apart during the years. It’s only until he shows up one thanksgiving and the two of you finally talk everything out.

One more — You and Shawn have twins, Charlotte and Miles and it’s the first day of school for them. It makes both of you emotional seeing them grow up so fast.

Lurking — Shawn lurks on your ex’s Insta and definitely doesn’t like what he sees there.

October 🌈 — Personal assistant themed fic inspired by October by Alessia Cara

Cinnamon — A peaceful day in the park with Shawn.

Careful what you wish for — You and Shawn are married, but it’s getting harder with each day. After a bad fight you make a wish upon a shooting star that turns your whole world upside down.

Opia --- Being Shawn’s friend has become emotionally tiring for you, especially since he is more than just a friend to you, so you ask for a break, but things don’t turn out as you expect them to.

Hands 🔥 --- The choker you want to wear: Shawn’s hands.

Sock 🌈 --- college!shawn au - Shawn and you live in the same dorm and one evening you both get locked out by your roommates who are having guests over.

After party --- Shawn chooses to spend the night with his very pregnant fiancé over going to an after party.

Yoga --- Shawn is being extra clingy while you’re just trying to do yoga.

Valentine’s Day --- The day that brings a change into your relationship with Shawn.

Sibling --- Your family of three is expanding and it’s time to reveal to your son that he is about to become a big brother. Shawn handles his awkward questions pretty fine.

Sister --- Part 2 to Sibling. The arrival of baby number 2 is a little messy, but eventually everything is going to be fine.

Choices --- CEO!Shawn AU. Working to The Shawn Mendes doesn’t turn out like you imagined it.

Crazy about you --- Sequel to Everything about you. Coordinating a new, secret relationship when you feel like the universe is playing against you.

Goodbye --- You have one rule. You never say goodbye. So what happens when in the heat of an arguement Shawn says the forbidden word and then things take a turn for the worse?

Hardest To Love --- Fic based on the song Hardest To Love by The Weeknd

Tease 🔥 --- Teasing has consequences. Dom!Shawn fic.

Number 20 🌷 --- AU based on the movie ‘What’s Your Number?’

Curls and boobs --- Cuddling in a blanket fort.

Privacy --- Shawn is doubting himself because of a stupid dream, and your privacy gets invaded that just worsens the situation.

Sleepless --- Pregnancy brings a lot of struggles to you, like not being able to sleep comfortably.

Two weeks --- PA themed fic! Quarantined with your boss who youa re in love with? That’s quite the situation!

Who you are --- soon-to-be-mob-boss!Shawn au, that’s it, that’s the fic

Hints --- Non-famous AU where Shawn is your brother’s best friend and you have the fattest crush on him.

Love hating you --- College!hockeyplayer!Shawn au where you start as enemies.

Better --- Morning with Shawn, a fluffy blurb.

I need you 🔥 --- Shawn needs you in the most intimate way.

Birthday tradition --- You and Shawn have had a birthday tradition for years, but this year you feel like things might change.

What you are to me --- (PA themed) Shawn celebrates is birthday with an epic vacation. Your feelings for him and your own demons are making it a mess and things take a surprising turn.

Empty promise 🔥 --- You try that TikTok trend out on Shawn where you send him a dirty text out in the public.

It’s alright --- Shawn helps you through one of your darker days.

Scoring You 🌷 --- college!soccerplayer!Shawn AU

I never stopped loving you --- Sequel to Hardest To Love

Room service --- CEO!Shawn AU, where you’re a maid at a hotel who gets fired and ends up in Shawn’s room.

Wonder --- Shawn wrote a song about you back when you first met, now it’s time to show it to you.

Hot Chocolate --- Some teasing on a cozy fall evening.

My wonder --- A short story built around the songs Dream, Song for no one and Teach me how to love from Wonder the album.

Day one — A late night talk with Grayson that ends with a kiss and confessions.

Hot 🌈 — After someone tries to break into your home Grayson comes to your rescue and you spend the night at his place, the two of you share his bed for the night.

Angel — You’re a nurse assisting to the twins’ nose surgery and Grayson is flirting hard with you while the goofy juice has him muddle-headed. When they come back for a check up he builds up the courage to ask you out.

Memories 🌷 --- You are childhood friends with the Dolan siblings and you recreate childhood photos, but one recreation results in surprising consequences.

Even — You thought it’s going to be easier to deal with the fact that Tom and Zendaya has to kiss in the new movie. But it turns out different and Tom has an unusual idea to solve this problem. To make it even, you also have to kiss Z.

My girls — While Tom is away you shower him with content about you and Tessa, being the best buddies, waiting for him to finally come home.

Helping hand 🔥 🌈 — Tom is having a hard day on set and needs something to get the steam off. You are more than happy to help him out.

The kiss — Tom makes your dream come true by kissing you in that famous, upside-down way like in the original movies.

Truth or Dare — The story of two kisses that are exactly one decade apart.

Okay --- Just some cute fluff with boyfriend Tom.

Buzz cut --- In the middle of your social distancing you decide to shave your head.Tom is a partner in the process.

Sleepy babies 🌈 --- Waking in the middle of the night you find your husband sleeping with your daughter in his arms.

Dust --- You have a nightmare after seeing Tom die in Infinity War, but Tom is there to console you.

Sunset --- Tom reminds you why you are so in love with me.

Sing to me --- Watching the sunset with Tom as he sings to you.

Celebrity crush --- In a round of Who’d you rather with Ellen, your crush on Tom gets revealed to the world.

Forgiving 🔥 (kinda) --- You and Tom like to experiment sexually. After having your first ever threesome with him and an unknown guy you realize it was not what you wanted but you’re afraid to come clear to Tom.

Homecoming — Homecoming is near and you wish Peter would ask you out. You’ve been crushing on him since you met him, but does he feel the same way?

Lazy Morning --- The title says it all basically.

Update 🌈 --- Harry falls for a mysterious girl from YouTube.

The best present --- Sequel to Update.

Flatmates 🔥 --- You move in with Harry and after a failed Tinder date, Harry proposes an offer you can’t turn down.

Two hearts in one home --- Just a short, domestic blurb!

Lending a pair of hands --- An appreciation fic for saggy boobs!

Never have I ever 🌈 --- Actress!reader playing the game on The Ellen Show with Harry, her celeb crush. Questions get a little nasty.

The art and the artist --- Harry, that amazing hat from the Golden mv and a nice Italian day by the pool.

Our song --- Harry helps vocalist!reader to come over her stage fright and the process brings them closer than ever.

Running — Nick is done hiding his feelings for you. After his marriage failed he is ready to be with the girl he has always been in love with.

In His Arms — The ending we all deserved in TROS.

Safe --- Kylo wants to know that you are safe even when he is not around, so he decides to teach you how to fight.

Everything --- Sequel to Safe. You gave up on a lot of things to be with Kylo. You crave small, normal things like dancing sometimes and one day you take your chance before training and ask him to dance with you.

Benefits --- You and Adam meet at an AA meeting and soon enough, a weird, but benefitial relationship forms between the two of you.

Train ride talks --- The aftermath of a fight with a cute ending.

❄️ FANFICmas 2019 ❄️

A set of holiday themed fics!

Mistletoe - Promise - Make It To Christmas - Cookies - Under The Mistletoe - A couple of reindeers - Santa Tell Me (Part 1)(Part 2)

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

My business - With you - And I always will - First Christmas (VALERIE blurb) - Locked up Christmas - Waiting for you - Keys of truth

2K notes · View notes

wholesomemendes · 4 years

Text

Fallen on Deaf Ears

Summary: You’re Shawn Mendes’ personal assistant which is all fun and games until feelings begin to change between the two of you. Words are said that could either ruin your friendship or help it grow into something more.

Author’s Note: Hi guys! This is my first attempt at writing for Shawn, but you have to start from somewhere. Anyways I hope you enjoy it! And please let me know what you think!

“You coming out with everyone tonight?”

The sound of a voice brought you back to reality, snapping your head up to be met with the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen. “Oh, um I don’t know, Shawn. I have a lot of emails to catch up on and I haven’t even started the calendar for May yet,” you responded, tearing your eyes away from where he was leaning on the door of the green room. After tonight’s show, you had sneaked away to the green room to finish up some work that was piling up lately, only after giving Shawn his celebratory hug of course. He didn’t have another show for 3 days, meaning the boys usually wanted to go out to drink, something they couldn’t do on a show night in order to preserve Shawn’s vocal chords. You honestly could go without the drinks, knowing you would have to stay mostly sober in order to take care of your giant man child. Even though you were off hours, being Shawn’s assistant meant there was never really an off time. If he needed something, he knew he could rely on you, either as an assistant or even a friend, and it went both ways. Although as much as you loved spending time with him, probably more than you would like to admit, you needed to catch up on the work that he had been distracting you from lately with his daily exploring.

“Pleaseeee,” Shawn borderline whined, “You have two days of doing absolutely nothing coming up, can’t you just do your work then?” The soft pitter-patter of footsteps got louder as he approached where you were sitting comfortably against the armrest of the couch, lifting your legs up to put them in his lap.

You peered at him over the top of your laptop, losing your focus for a second over the way the muscles in his arm were practically begging to rip open his shirt from the way he was leaning his head on his hand, “Becauseeeee I have a feeling someone is going to prevent me from doing said work on those next two days off. Would I be wrong in saying that?”

“I don’t prevent you from doing work!” he feigned offense, placing his large, tattooed hand over his heart. You glared at him again, earning a scoff from him, “I don’t!”

“Sure you don’t,” returning back to your work, you forwarded an email to Andrew about some radio interview in the next couple weeks before your laptop was pushed shut, almost pinching your fingers in the process. “Shawn!”

“Please come tonight,” he pleaded, giving you those puppy dog eyes he knew you couldn’t resist, “I don’t want to go if you don’t.”

Of course he was guilt tripping you. And you both knew he meant it when he said he wouldn’t go without you, the boy didn’t lie. You stood your ground, trying to act like his adorable face wasn’t breaking down your facade, “Fine, I’ll go, but don’t expect me to save you when you get so drunk you can’t stand.”

“I won’t I promise,” he smiled that genuine, happy smile that filled up his whole face before launching himself into your lap to hug you, “You won’t regret it.”

__________________________

You regretted coming. It was hours after midnight, your feet ached, the stench of sweaty, drunk people consumed your senses, and Shawn was no where to be found. After 2 hours and countless shots later, he transformed into the clingy, manchild that is drunk Shawn, meaning that you had to be on high alert to keep watch of him. But your bladder could only hold out for so long, which is how you found yourself in the present situation, aimlessly looking around for any signs of the tall, curly haired giant that had wandered off while you went to the bathroom for two minutes.

Just as you had almost given up hope, you felt a large hand wrap around your arm and a warm breath against your neck, feeling the presence of someone much bigger than yourself behind you. Before you could even think about trying to pull away, a familiar slurred voice filled your ears, “You know, you look awfully pretty tonight m’lady.” You let out a sigh of relief and turned to see the beautiful boy staring down at you with glazed eyes and a wide smile, a bright blush on his cheeks from the alcohol.

“You scared me,” you laughed, shaking your head, “Thought you were a stranger.”

“’M not a stranger,” Shawn responded, eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, “You work for me, remember? You’re my girl right?” He placed his hands on your shoulders and stepped back so that he could extend his arms fully and scrutinize your face. His eyes scanned you up and down, finally settling on your face with a satisfied huff of approval, “Yeah, you’re my girl.”

He pulled you into his strong arms as you laughed, “I remember bubs, just couldn’t see you from behind me. You told me you would stay at the bar while I went to the bathroom.”

“I did?” he questioned, pulling back to look at your face, “Are you sure?”

“You did, what happened to that?”

“Got distracted or something,” he mumbled into your shoulder, “Don’t remember. I missed you.”

“Did you now?” you asked, ruffling your fingers through those curls you love so much, earning a muffled yes in response.

A few moments of silence passed, his body engulfing yours as the two of you stood in the middle of the crowded club, “You smell so good, honey. Wanna make you mine.”

Your heart stopped for a moment, heat rushing to your cheeks from his drunken slurs. “Shawn,” you cupped his face in your hands for him to look at you, “you’re drunk, we should go back to the hotel.”

“Will you come back with me?” he asked, silently pleading with you with those damn puppy dog eyes.

“Yes, my room is kinda connected to yours,” you laughed as his face lit up, mumbling something along the lines of “’M so lucky” under his breath. You called an Uber as he leaned his weight against you, stumbling out of the club for the night.

__________________________

“Come on, Bubs, just a couple more feet and then you can get to bed.” Getting Shawn in his bed at this state was near impossible, but on duty or not you weren’t going to leave him on the side of the road for tomorrow’s headlines to pick up. Finally collapsing on his bed, you started unbuttoning his dress shirt to get him ready for bed.

“Hey, hey! You can’t undress me, I have a girlfriend,” he protested, pushing your hands off him.

“Since when do you have a girlfriend, mister?” you raised a brow at him, watching as his eyes fought to stay open.

“I don’t. But there’s this really pretty girl that I wanna date and I don’t think she’d like it if you were taking off my clothes.”

“Oh really? What’s she like?” you tried to distract him as you continued to take off his shirt.

“She’s gorgeous, like a literal goddess and she’s got the most beautiful eyes that I just get lost in all the time. She’s also super smart, like I think she could be on Jeopardy she’s so smart. Did you know I’ve been on Jeopardy before? Well not on Jeopardy, but like as a question? I’m not smart enough to be on Jeopardy cause I’m not as smart as she is. But I also didn’t go to college like her cause I’m not smart enough for that, ‘s why I became a singer.” A chuckle left your lips at his little drunken slurs, allowing you to take off his shirt and begin on his shoes. “Oh, and my girl is also the kindest person in the entire world. She has the biggest heart and that’s saying a lot cause she’s teeny tiny. I can rest my head on her head when we’re standing, but it’s ok cause she’s cute. Really cute. And she also makes the best grilled cheese sandwiches when I ask her to come over in the middle of the night, and sometimes she gives me throat massages before or after my shows.”

Your hands still where they had begun to unbuckle his belt, his words making you realize just who this mystery girl he was talking about was. “Shawn, I work for you, we can’t date.”

“Wasn’t talking about you, was talking about my girl.”

“Mhm, this girl sure does sound a lot like me.”

He took your face in his hands and began to stare into your eyes, “You do look a lot like her. Are you her?”

“Yes, I’m her, Shawn and we can’t date,” you removed his hands from your face and turned back to his belt.

“Why not?” he asked hurt, his drunk mind not being able to comprehend why the girl of his dreams didn’t want to be with him.

“Because I’m your assistant, bubs, I work for you which means we can’t date,” a pleased sigh escaped your lips once he was finally left in his boxers and you began to stand up so that you could head back to your room for the night’s sleep you were looking forward to.

‘But I like you.”

“I like you too,” you told the curly haired boy with small smile. I love you your mind screamed, but your rational brain did what it did every day and told you it wasn’t possible.

“Then be my girlfriend,” he huffed, reaching out to take your hands and pull you between his legs.

You stared at his disappointed face, threading your fingers through his long curls you loved so much, “I can’t, bubs. Besides, you’re drunk right now. Let’s get you to bed, how does that sounds?”

“‘M not going without you,” pulling you into his arms, pressing his face into your stomach, “You’re not going anywhere.”

You sighed trying to push him away to no avail. What harm would one night do? It’s not like the two of you hadn’t shared a bed before. It wasn’t rare to find the two of you cuddled on a couch between interviews or as a result of a night out, bodies intertwined under the covers. Nothing ever happened, but a small part of you almost wished that it had, and that was the part aching to just hold him for one more night. “Ok, just let me grab one of your shirts to put on instead of this dress.”

Ruffling through his drawers, you found a spare t-shirt that you knew would end up looking like a dress on you, opting out of finding a pair of sweatpants. You slid out of your skin tight dress, sighing in relief at the feeling of being free of it. “Wow,” you snap your head at the sight of Shawn sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, a dopey smile on his face, “You’re really pretty.”

A soft blush creeps up onto your cheeks as you pull the shirt over your head and climb into bed next to him, “Thanks, you’re not that bad looking either, rockstar.”

He situates himself under the covers, maneuvering so that his arm was laid across your waist with his head on your chest, legs intertwined, “I love you.” His soft voice is almost incoherent in the night, but your ears pick it up in the silence. Your breath catches in your throat, and hearing his steady breathing gives you some courage, knowing the words will stumble on deaf ears. “Shawn?” you whisper. Nothing. Not even a hum. “I love you too.”

__________________________

Mornings meant consequences. The bright Miami sun filtered through the hotel windows, causing you to squint your eyes at the unpleasant light. A heavy weight was placed around your body and it felt like an absolute dream, causing you to close your eyes once again and bask in the feeling. That was until you felt a hot breath on your neck that made your senses wide awake. You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but that only made his steel grip on you tighten. “Shawn,” you whispered, failing to move his arm. He hummed in response, pulling you closer to his partially covered body. “Shawn,” you said a bit louder, making him hum again, “wake up.”

“’M tired,” he mumbled into your hair, “Just wanna cuddle.” He pushed his body onto yours, his hips pressing into your lower body, causing you to freeze.

“Shawn get up,” you say quickly shoving him off you, much to his dismay. He covers his eyes with his arm as you sit upright, trying to process the past few moments.

“Stop yelling,” he whines, letting out a deep breath, “my head is pounding.”

“That’s what you get for recklessly drinking last night.”

“At least I’m not stuck up all the time and too worried about my job to let loose like someone else I know.”

“Excuse me,” you asked looking over at him, shocked and frankly hurt by his words. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t have a perfect singing voice and good looks to be a multi-millionaire recording artist like him. Yes, you won’t deny that sometimes working for him just felt like hanging around an old friend, but at the end of the day you worked for him. It was work and whether he liked it or not, that’s how you had to treat it.

“Listen, I shouldn’t have said that,” he sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Are you really? Cause sometimes I think you do believe that.”

“No I don’t, I just-” rubbing a hand over his face in an attempt to open his eyes, he stares up at the ceiling, “Sometimes I wish you would just stop treating everything so professional all the time. I don’t understand why you can’t just enjoy something without worrying about your job.”

“You know what, Shawn, I take care of everything for you! I organize your schedules, I help you get ready for concerts, pack your bags, take care of you when you’re sick, I even help you when you’re drunk god knows where in the middle of the night because you want a ride home! And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! I know sometimes we act like we’re friends, Shawn, but this is my job. So no matter what happens between us, at the end of the day I’m getting paid to be here. That’s why I’m here. Not because I’m your friend.”

He watches as you stand up, grabbing your clothes from last night, leaving his heart to ache in his chest, “You don’t mean that.”

Before you turn the door handle to your room, you spare a glance at the broken man in his bed, your own heart weighing heavy knowing you’re the one that caused the pain on his face. “I’ll see you around Shawn.”

__________________________

Nothing could have prepared you for the tension that would have followed between you and Shawn. He didn’t speak to you for the next two days, unless he needed information on something, which usually resulted in an email or text from him even if he was only 5 feet away. You didn’t blame him. You knew your words hurt him and you wanted nothing more than to take away his pain and be there the way he wanted you to be. But you knew you couldn’t do it. You weren’t going to be Shawn Mendes’ personal assistant forever, and when it comes to finding a new job, you know that someone that had a relationship with their previous boss wasn’t exactly the type of person companies were lining up to hire. Besides, the bigger issue at hand was what would happen if it didn’t work out. How would things turn out? Job aside, you don’t think you could handle it if you lost Shawn. Nothing could be worse than this, you reasoned with yourself, but you couldn’t help but think that if the two of you broke up, there would be no way of getting your Shawn back. Then again you didn’t know how much longer you could take this.

Everyone in the team could tell something was wrong. The two of you went from an excessive amount of contact to absolutely nothing in a matter of 24 hours and no one could wrap their head around what happened. Neither one of you would talk about it and would brush someone off if they asked, so for the next week, there was a growing tension in the air. No talking between the two of you. No cuddles. No teasing. And no after show celebratory hugs.

__________________________

Day 8. 8 days without Shawn and you were starting to go insane. You missed him so much you were physically hurting on the inside and all you wanted was to melt in his arms while he held you tight to his chest. That’s what led you to knocking on his hotel room door in the middle of the night, knowing he would be awake. After not receiving a reply, you slowly opened the shared door that hadn’t been used for days and peered your head inside, finding him strumming his guitar on the hotel balcony. You stepped into the room, quietly shutting the door the best you could before making your way to where he was sitting, beautiful melodies flowing out of him. It was entrancing listening to him play, and from what you could make of his quiet singing, it was another beautiful love song being created in his mind. “I’m surprised you’re here,” his voice broke you out of your trance, “Thought we weren’t friends.”

“I came here to apologize, I feel terrible for what I said....and I missed you,” you confessed, watching your toe move around the cold concrete, the only thing grounding you right now. He stayed silent at this, continuing to move his fingers methodically on his guitar. “Its beautiful by the way,” he looked up at your words, your eyes meeting his for the first time tonight, “the song.”

He nodded, focusing his eyes on the strings once again, ”It’s about you. They all are.”

You sighed, slowly walking over and taking a seat next to him, “I’m sorry, Shawn, I really am. I didn’t mean what I said at all I just...I don’t know.”

“You know for someone who’s so smart you never seem to know anything when it comes to how you feel,” he quipped and you couldn’t blame him for acting bitter towards you.

“I know, and you can hate me all you want, but I can’t do this anymore. I miss you. I miss your little jokes and your cuddles and I really miss the look in your eyes before you hugged me after a show. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want things to be back to normal so bad.” You couldn’t stop the small tear that fell from your eye and suddenly, as Shawn’s guitar playing stopped, the sounds of the cars in the streets never sounded so loud. You fiddled aimlessly with your hands, never looking up in fear of what you’d see on his face, “I like you a lot, Shawn, but I’m scared. I’m so scared because you’re you and I’m just me. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future and I’m terrified. Yes, I worry about how my career would be impacted if I dated my boss, but the main reason I’m so scared is because I can’t lose you.” At this point tears were flowing down your face and you placed your head in your hands, unable to stop them.

His hands were rough and calloused from years of playing guitar and a stark contrast to your smooth skin as he moved your hands away and cupped your face. The dark blue sky shined down on the two of you, and as you brought your eyes to his, you swore he was a god by the way the moonlight was glowing on his face. He smiled softly at you, his eyes holding such sincerity and truth in them, “Listen to me, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Hell, I don’t even know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But what I do know for sure is that I need you by my side to get through it. I want you in anyway that you’ll give me, but I promise that if you give your heart to me, I won’t break it. And I don’t break my promises.”

“I know you don’t,” you let out a sad laugh before wiping your tears, causing Shawn to take your head in his hands again to wipe your tears, “I want to give you my heart, all of it.”

A smile broke out onto his face, making your heart glow just from seeing him happy, “Really?” You nodded and he brought your face closer to his, resting his forehead on yours. His eyes looked at your lips and you found yourself doing the same, longing for the feeling you had been dreaming about for years. “Can I kiss you?” You didn’t respond, instead leaning forward and connecting your lips.

You didn’t know if this was real or a dream. But there was no way that this could be a dream because it felt better than anything you could have ever imagined. His lips were soft against yours, which was no surprise given how obsessed he was with chapstick, and the feeling of it was enough to make you dizzy. When you finally pulled away he kept you close, afraid that if he let go, you would disappear, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” except this time, your words didn’t fall on deaf ears.

365 notes · View notes

mendesficsxbombay · 4 years

Text

just let me adore you | s.m

my third fic this month! this is absolutely NOT like me!!

Requested ‘fluff’ from this prompt list:

34: you look so comfy and cuddleable

40: I’m not going to get sick you baby. Just let me hold you, can we just stay in bed

The call cuts off and she lets out her longest sigh of the day. It’s her fourth time calling him in a row, when otherwise, it’s him doing the calling.

She let off the calls and texts the last few days, their relationship was still so fresh how dare she appear clingy to this beautiful boy she’s liked for as long as she can remember? As soon as they put a tag on it, the years of knowing each other, and the knowledge of each of their tricks and tactics went out the window. Three months in and they still act like teenagers with their first crush. Not that there is anything wrong with teenagers and crushes, but they’ve both already lived through that phase of life, why are they back here again?

She racks her brain for alternatives, then furiously rubs at her temples as if that would make her thoughts come through easier. She could call up their friends, see if they’ve heard something from him in the last week. She hadn’t seen him for 7 days, his last message was 4 days ago. She could march over to his house but again … they’ve only been together together for three months. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to go knocking on his door without notice. Then again what if he’s in danger and she is the only one who thought about saving him? What if she is his only hope? He is the current Prince of Pop, the people wanting to cause harm to him must be endless.

She scoffs at her usual downward spiral. Everyone in the world is not out to get him. He’s worked with her through her panic multiple times, so if he knew how much she worried about him why not just give her a heads up that he’s alive and safe?

His apartment is really just twenty minutes away from hers after all, she could go over - she should go over. She purses her lips while looking at her black phone screen, as if staring at it hard enough will just, you know, make him call. But that’s not how the world works. And so she marches to her room to collect her bags, picks up her keys on the way, and sets off to his house.

She used to do this all time, earlier - showing up unannounced. They’d spent a better part of three years being strictly friends. Nothing more. Except the times she would catch him staring at her a bit longer than what seemed normal, or when she would put in extra efforts to dress up when she knew she would be seeing him. They had been introduced through friends, an effort to club their friend groups into one large social circle, and they didn’t have a lot in common, but that’s what worked for them. They lived each other’s lives through the other’s eyes, and sometimes, that’s all you need in a friend.

Unfortunately, most times they saw each other outside of their respective flats, there was alcohol involved. And bottled feelings and bottles of alcohol never really mix well. They used to play this game, they used to order drinks for each other, with the promise that the other would have to finish the drink, and the swear was on their friendship. A year and a half or so of knowing each other later, they found themselves exchanging kisses in dark corners of clubs and pubs, a glass of whatever they bought each other in hand.

Soon enough, they didn’t need the liquid courage. Although it was the sort of thing that everyone knew of and no one said aloud, they kept their distance in front of their friends and the sneaking around never really ceased. And what their friends don’t know, didn’t hurt them. As if their friends didn’t know why or how they always arrived and left together. As if they didn’t notice that after a while she had chosen to stop bringing her car to these parties altogether because she knew she would ride back with him anyway.

At some point, a boy she knew from university, a far off member of said social circle asked her out. And quite boldly so. In front of all their friends and at their favourite bar. She brushed it off, said she wasn’t interested. But he persisted. And that’s where Shawn stepped in. Gently, yet firmly, pushed the guy back from closing in on her so publicly. He said she wasn’t interested and he should have listened the first time. He asked him to learn. To do better. Then took her hand and left the place.

The car was silent for the first time in all the rides they’d taken together. She didn’t like it. But she also didn’t have the guts to ask what all of that was about until she realised that he wasn’t driving to her place, he was straight on his way to his.

She softy asked about why they were going to his, and his eyes widened as if he hadn’t realised that himself. He spluttered for a second, and then ‘fessed up. He felt she was the safest if she stayed over at his that night - if she was okay with it. He knew he sounded like a hypocrite, making her decisions for her and all, but just this one time, he couldn’t reign it in.

She didn’t say anything back then, just linked her fingers through his on the centre console and leaned back against the headrest. He took it as a sign and brought her home. That night, they slept the best either of them ever had.

The next morning, she asked him to be hers, and that was that.

Three months in, though, she’s pulling up to his apartment and she’s more nervous than she was the first time she met him. It’s the fear of the unknown, really. What if he had another girlfriend on the side this whole time and he didn’t tell her so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings. She’s been cheated on before, she knows how gullible she is. It was really not hard for her past boyfriends to sneak around. But Shawn’s not like that. Or is he?

Riding up the elevator she send up a quiet prayer to anyone who was willing to listen. Please let me still be with him at the end of the night, I can’t lose him.

She walks out of the lift as if she’s headed for war. Her head is spinning already but really, what was she expecting if she so suddenly decided to confront the panic she had been wallowing in for days now?

She took in a deep breath, and knocked on his door, patiently waiting for whatever was on the other side. She could take it (could she?). She would put on a brave face and confront - his mom?

“Babe! It’s so nice to see you here!” The older woman exclaimed, gently pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back, like she did with her son. “Shawn didn’t tell me you were coming over, I would’ve made some food for you as well!”

“Oh I - didn’t actually tell him I was coming over, Miss Rayment, he-“ it is okay, you can talk to her, she knows you are together and she loves you through it all, just keep talking, “He hasn’t really answered my calls or texts these last few days, I didn’t know what was wrong so I came over.” She winced finally, somewhat ashamed for showing up.

“Is that so?” Karen frowned a little, letting go of her and finding her way into the kitchen. “Babe, he’s been sick for a week, it was the stomach bug, but then his body was heating up, too, and I called him on the second day of it - he didn’t sound too good and you know what mums are like, I packed a bag and drove right over. We had him speak to a doctor over the phone, thank god he doesn’t have any events lined up anytime soon, because the meds keep him knocked out for most of the day. I did expect him to call you, though.”

“Yeah, me too,” she whispers, her face growing hot with embarrassment, and she didn’t know why. “May I go up and see him? Is he awake?”

His mom smiles and nods, saying she’ll be down here if they need her.

She silently pads her way up the stairs of his penthouse, cursing herself for thinking the worst of him while he just lay here drugged up and sick. She felt sorry for him and for herself, too. Why couldn’t she have figured this out sooner?

Before she knows it she’s standing outside his room, and there’s no turning back. She softly knocks twice, and waits for a response she isn’t sure she would receive. She turns the doorknob gently, aware of the slight creak it usually lets out.

The room was darker then usual, the curtains to his floor to ceiling windows were drawn shut, and there was one nightlight glowing softly in the corner of the room. It took her a second to make out his figure under the lumps of the duvet pulled over him. She felt sadder than she did a second ago, thinking of how uncomfortable he must’ve been these last few days and how she wished she could just take it all away.

There was a tiny empty spot on the bed next to his torso, she found a place for herself there. The covers were pulled up to his chin, his hair looked messier than it did usually and he looked so much younger, as if he was at peace even when his body wasn’t.

She snaked her pinky through his, through the hand that was peaking out from under the layers of warmth. His lips parted slightly, hand curling around hers even when he continued to sleep. This was their secret move every time they were in public. Like a silent hi, I’m here when they couldn’t say it aloud.

She peppered a few kisses to his forehead, light enough to not awake him, but dusty enough so he knew they were there. She saw his face scrunch just for a second, smiling to herself because of how much of a baby her big, strong boyfriend really was. It was adorable.

She wanted to test how far she could go before he woke up. She smirked a little at the thought, remembering the last time she had stayed over at his, just last week, on this same bed. There wasn’t a lot of sleeping that happened that night.

She leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and she got the exact reaction she got every time. His lips puckered against hers for a second before falling into a deeper sleep, lips parting again. Her heart warmed and she almost awww ed for real, but he was still sick, and still needed rest, so with one last long look at her love, she left the room again.

Downstairs she found his mom on the phone on the pretty white couch everyone loved so much, patiently waiting for her to hang up.

“What’s up, he still sleeping?”

“Yes… I was thinking I could make something for dinner since you’ve cooked this whole time?”

“Oh, you really don’t have to I could just -“

“No, please, I want to. Is soup and garlic rice okay with you?”

It was the first real meal she had learned when she was 16, and it was her signature. Everyone loved it. You couldn’t possibly go wrong with it. When his mum smiled and nodded as a reply, she knew they loved it too after she brought it home to them when they visited for Christmas.

She went into the kitchen, happy to see most of the ingredients she would need. This would be a different case if his mum hadn’t come over, she would’ve only found fruits and frozen meat and some form of soda or beer in his fridge.

She could cook this one with her eyes closed, so she was done relatively quicker. Just an hour later she was eating dinner with his mum, catching up on lost time.

After the dishes were dried and put up, his mum asked if she was going to spend the night. She wanted to, but she also didn’t wish to overstep. She said she would wait till Shawn was up and had dinner and then leave. Karen understood and gave her a warm hug, a kiss to her head and found her way to the guest room.

In the meantime she found the few books she had left at his house for him to read - as he had specifically asked, and she knew he hadn’t even touched the covers - and cuddled into the throw he usually had by the couch.

When he come down the stairs an hour and 7 chapters later, he looked like the most beautiful train wreck. His cheeks were flushed red from the sleep and his body heat that she hoped had stabilised, and wasn’t increasing anymore. He wore a black muscle tee and gym shorts, yawning and making his way into the kitchen slowly, and it hurt to see her otherwise tough guy be this fragile.

She waited for him to notice her. It was another challenge they had between them, he prided himself in how attuned he was to her, he could walk into a room and sense if she was there, too. Usually she would hide and try to throw him off but he found her, always. Which is why when he froze in front of the stove and let out a choked breath (it was probably a gasp but, you know, he is sick right now) and turned around, she couldn’t help but grin like a lovesick fool.

“What.. are you?” He stuttered, his voice down several decibels, a throaty rasp which, in any other condition would’ve sent chills down her spine.

“Heard someone was sick,” she sighed, putting her book down and joining him in the kitchen. “You hungry? I made dinner. The garlic will do good for your throat and tummy.”

“And mom?” She turned around to reheat the soup and toss around the rice a bit more.

“We ate and she went to bed.”

“Are you mad at me?”

She finally looked at him, looking like a wounded puppy sitting by the breakfast bar. It was hard to stay mad at him, but she would hold her ground this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Shawn?” He only ducked his head down, looking anywhere but her. So great, now he’s sick AND guilty.

Shawn liked being taken care of - but he hated people having to worry about him. He hated being the subject of someone’s concern - especially those closest to him. He liked knowing that there were people who had his back but he hated having to use that support for anything. It made him feel guilty and incapable - a habit she was trying to rid him of since their first year of knowing each other.

“Didn’t want you to worry.”

“So you worried your mum who lives an hour away?”

“No she was… going to come over anyway.”

“No she wasn’t. Just last week you said she probably wouldn’t come over for a bit because she had things to finish back at home. She told me during dinner, too. So what’s the real reason?”

She plated three scoops of rice and a bowl of soup and passed it over the counter to him, then sat down right where she was. He felt like that was a kick to his lungs. He would say guts but his lungs were weaker at the moment. She never, ever passed up an opportunity to sit next to him, to be pressed up to him, and looking at her settle herself so far away from him (four feet away is quite far when you’re in love) let him know he really messed up this time.

“Didn’t want you to think I’m weak,” he mumbled around a spoonful of rice to make sure he didn’t hear him correctly. She did, though.

“You falling sick would make me think you’re weak? Are you out of your mind or are the meds that heavy in dosage?”

“Look it’s just - you’re so strong? You’re immune system is made of fucking metal. And then there’s me. I get a cold every few months even though it can seriously harm my singing. And then I get a fever or stomach bug or just - something - every few months and like - You deserve someone stronger. I didn’t want you to be bothered by this.”

“Okay so the meds are definitely still working their magic,” she muttered as he rolled his eyes. “You have got to be joking, Shawn, look at you! How on earth could I possibly find someone stronger than you? You picked the worst time to be insecure honestly.”

She glared at him but stayed silent to let him have a bit of the soup, pushing back the urge to smile as his face almost unclenched at the taste and his shoulders sank in relief. She was a good cook and she knew it.

“You do realise that I would’ve been more than happy to come over and help you out? I came up to your room and you looked so comfy and cuddleable I would’ve jumped right in to sleep too had you not looked so sick. What even happened anyway?”

“The doctor said it was because of a weather change, it’s a common cold but the stomach bug might be the real problem. You know how you came over on Saturday and then I dropped you home and went out with the boys? I think the meat I had wasn’t so good. So he advised vocal rest and then said I should eat home as much as possible for the coming few days or weeks. That’s all.”

“And you called you mum? Why, doesn’t she also think you’re weak? Now that she still has to look after you?” She hit back in frustration, “Look, if you didn’t want me to come over, you could’ve just said so, but dropping off the face of the earth was not it and I was really fucking worried, so thank you.”

“But, baaaabe I said I’m sorry,” he whined, his face scrunching up again as if he was in physical pain.

“I’m only mad because - Shawn, wouldn’t you have done the same for me? Why are the rules different for you?”

He pursed his lips as it fully sank in, she wasn’t mad, she was upset. And all that could’ve been avoided very easily but he did nothing to solve it.

“I understand, and the next time something happens, you’ll be the first to know so you can come over and make me all this yummy soup and then you can yell at me a bit more for being so careless. But until then, please don’t be mad at me again?”

She glared at him for a bit longer until her resolve finally broke. There wasn’t really a way for her to stay mad at him still looking like so soft. She cleaned up after he was done eating some more, handing him his medicines like Karen had asked her to.

She linked her pinky through his as they climbed up the stairs, suppressing a smile again as she saw him turn his head towards her with a look of wonder evident. He asked her if she was going to spend the night, she said she would only stay until he fell asleep because she still had work tomorrow, but she would drop in before and after.

She got him into bed first, nicely tucking his head in in the many pillows he had, curls fluffing out at the top as he looked at her dreamily. She pulled the covers up to tuck herself in next to him as she usually did, only to have him slap his hand down on the covers, snatching them out of her hands.

“What are you doing?!” His eyes grew wide as if what she did actually offended him.

“uh, getting in with you?”

“I’m sick and you shouldn’t be getting in anywhere with me. I’ll get you a chair or something to sit in-” and he was already struggling to get up and out of bed when she calmly put her hands on his shoulders to push him down again.

“Stop moving around so much, you don’t have the energy. I’m not going to get sick you baby and you’re not contagious. I already have sinusitis, you couldn’t possibly give me more of a cold than I’ve lived with my whole life. And your stomach bug won’t magically transfer to me. Just let me hold you, okay?”

He gulped nervously as she slipped in next to him, worry flashed across his features. But it melted away slowly as she tucked herself around him, her head coming to rest under his chin, over his heart as it always did. He hadn’t held his girl in a week. It felt good.

“Can we just stay in bed, forever?” He mumbled sleepily.

She snickered lightly, “I’m sure we can arrange that. Until then do you wanna watch something? Harry Potter, maybe?” She found his television remote by the bed, and pulled up his queue of movies on the screen.

His eyes narrowed at her - “You don’t even like Harry Potter?”

She finally smiled at him, patting his cheek and settling down again.

“It’s okay, I like you.”

taglist: @shawnwyr @mendesstories @lanallaa @sleepybesson @rulerofnocountry @luvluvxx @wholesomemendes @c25905 @angl-phile

dm to be added or removed ♥️

274 notes · View notes

brianc521 · 5 years

Text

Hickey

You sneak around the arena halls, trying to go unnoticed by the band and crew, looking for the two boys you knew would be able to help you with the idea you have.

You find them in the catering room, like you thought you would, and sit in front of them both, resting your hands on the table.

“Okay, so here’s the deal.” You start, catching both of their attentions. “Shawn thinks he’s unprankable,” You say, both of them raising an eyebrow with a sly smug smile gracing their features. “And since you decided to post the video of him scaring me on the new behind the scenes of tour vlog,” You give Connor a pointed look, “I wanna get him back. But it has to be really good.”

Brian sits up straight in his chair, locking eyes with you. “I’m one step ahead of you.” He grins, standing from his seat, motioning for the two of you to follow him away from listening ears of the crew around you.

You and Connor look at each other and shrug, standing to follow Brian out of the room.

You find yourself in a huddle with the two boys, all three spitting out ideas on how to get Shawn. Things like ‘I accidentally broke your guitar’ or ‘You leaked my nudes’ becoming frequent. Brian even going as far as to looking up other couple pranks on youtube to get ideas, and he lands on one that he can’t help but convince you to do.

“The hickey prank.” He grins, showing Connor the screen he was one.

“Yes!” Connor yelps, but then hushed as all three of you look around like you’re doing something suspicious.

“No he won’t believe it.” You shake your head.

“He will.” They boys nod.

“No, we have a strict no hickey rule.” You mumble.

“Exactly, we’ll set the whole thing up. We’re in Portland till the 13th, and it’s the 10th. Tell him you’ve gotten into contact with an old family friend and that you’re going to meet up with them for dinner, don’t say who or what gender, just say a family friend. I’ll go out with him the same night to keep him distracted.” Brian starts his plan.

“But wait, I don’t have a family friend here.”

“I know, that’s why we’ll send you with Connor here.” He pats Connor shoulder. “And you can post a picture of you and Connor, but hide his face, that way Shawn can be like ‘she’s with a guy?’ you know.”

“He’s not the jealous type.” You point out.

Brian gives you a dead look, “All boys are the jealous type when their girl is out with another dude.”

You nod, acknowledging that that’s true. “Okay so then what?”

“The next day we’ll plant a fake hickey on your neck, and have Connor say he wants to record all day, that is until after the prank you know, and wait till he notices and reacts.”

The plan sounded really good, and deep down you know Shawn would never believe it, but the two puppies in front of you were so excited and practically pouncing at your feet so you sigh, nodding and agreeing to the plan.

“Babe, I’m going out with Brian to watch the game at the arena, they’ve set it up on the big screen and everything, wanna come?” Shawn asks, slipping on a new t-shirt, freshly washed curls clinging to his forehead.

“Actually,” You bite your lip, the nerves already eating you alive. “I’m meeting up with an old family friend for dinner.”

Shawn turns and looks at you with furrowed brows. “I didn’t realize you knew anyone from Portland.”

“Well I don’t,” You drag out. “They used to be really close with my family, and moved when I was fresh out of high school.”

“Oh, okay.” He runs his fingers through his curls, pushing them back. “Want me to come? I can tell Brian I have plans.”

“No it’s okay, go watch the game. I’ll meet up with my friend, and meet you back here.” You say, fixing up your lip gloss a bit.

Brian gave you notes on how to act, what to say, and what to do.

“Oh,” Shawn watches you. “Okay, have fun then.” He turns away confused.

It wasn’t often that you turned down his offer of joining you somewhere. With the fact that he toured so much of the year, any chance you had to spend together you took greedily.

“Thanks Babe.”

He watches you slip on your heels and adjust the dress you’re wearing in the mirror. He walks up behind you, arms circling around and pulling you into his chest, chin on your shoulder.

“You look pretty.”

“Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Where are you going for dinner?”

“This restaurant not far from here, my friends gonna pick me up.”

“Do they know about me?” He asks.

“No, I didn’t want them to like leak the hotel, they don’t know I have a boyfriend.”

Shawn’s eyes harden a little. “Who is it?”

“An old family friend, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you about them.”

He doesn’t want to ask if it’s a boy or not, because he knows he has no reason to be jealous, but his gut is telling him that something is off here. He takes your left hand and nervously plays with the promise ring on your finger.

“Okay,” He pouts, “Be safe okay? Call me if you need a ride or anything?”

“Of course.” You smile at him.

Your phone buzzes and you know that’s Connor texting the ‘I’m here’ as your ride.

“I gotta go Baby.” You look at Shawn through the mirror.

He nods, letting go and watching you grab your purse and slip it over your shoulder. You lean up and leave a chaste kiss to his cheek and bolt out the door, you physically have to bite your tongue to not say ‘I love you’ like you always do.

You and Connor sit in the parking lot of a McDonald’s waiting on play by plays from Brian on how Shawn’s doing.

Shawn’s been texting you all night, but you’ve kept the responses short and sweet, sometimes not even responding at all.

“Connor, I don’t know about this. I feel bad.”

“Come on, you wanted to get him back right? Well jumping out around the corner from him isn’t gonna do it. We had to take it up a level.”

You nod, and bite your nail as Brian texts.

iMessage from Brian: He’s freaking out.

iMessage from Brian: Post the picture.

You wiggle your toes anxiously as you click over to Instagram, and post the picture you and Connor took earlier today at the arena in a safe zone that could look like you were anywhere.

His face was covered by your hand as you were pushing it in the opposite direction, big laugh and smile on your face, and most importantly his hand around your waist, gripping your left hip.

You wait and close the app, to anxious to see if he’s seen it.

iMessage from Brian: He just saw your post.

iMessage from Brian: He’s replayed it 5 times.

iMessage from Brian: He’s zoomed in on Connors hand

iMessage from Brian: He’s jealous

You waited in Connors room alone while he went out with the rest of the crew to make it seem like you were still out with your friend.

Shawn had decided to stay in and not go out, so he could wait for you. You knew he was probably pacing the length of your shared room across the hall.

It was now a little past midnight and you decide it’s time to head back over, especially because you’re tired and want to go to bed. You quietly sneak out of Connors room and tip toe back to yours, slipping the key card in the slot and walking in.

To no surprise the lights are still on and the TV is playing a rerun of One Tree Hill. You look around and don’t spot Shawn anywhere, but you hear the toilet flush and the sink water start running so you quickly take your heels off and set your purse down, and start rummaging for things to wear to bed.

He walks out of the bathroom, flipping the light off and stopping short when he sees you.

“Hey,” He says softly, taking a seat on the bed next to your suitcase that you’ve set on your side so you can dig through it.

“Hi.” You greet him.

“How was your night?” He asks.

“It was good, yours?”

“Um, it was okay.”

He watches you as you grab a tank top and shorts with a pair of lace panties. You turn and grab your lotion off the nightstand and your hair towel wrap.

“Are you taking a shower?” He asks, looking at the clock. “At midnight?”

“Yeah, I feel all gross.” You nod. “It was hotter than I was expecting and I’ve been sweating.”

His heart is racing a little. “Can I join you?”

At any other moment you would have pulled him into the bathroom with you, but to keep the act up you shake your head. “Maybe next time, I just wanna shower real quick and head to bed.”

He nods, and watches you go and shut the door to the bathroom behind you. You even go as far as to flip the lock. He grabs his phone and looks back at your story, biting his lip and bouncing his leg as he tries to figure out who you were with.

You met with Connor and Brian first thing in the morning to apply the hickey. From watching the few other hickey pranks you noticed that the ones with the most success used lipstick. So that’s what you did.

In no time you had a nice little purple bruise littered to your skin.

“It’s perfect, subtle but eye catching.”

“Good, okay.” You take a deep breath. “I’m freaking out.”

“It’s okay, once he notices it you can stop the prank at anytime.”

“Okay.” You nod.

“It’s okay Y/n, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s all a joke.” Brian pats your shoulder.

“I know but to him it’s not yet, and he’s being really clingy and I’m like pushing him away.”

“For now, it all ends today. Promise.”

Connor focuses the camera on you so you can start the video.

“Hey guys! So as you saw Shawn scared me a week ago and I broke my phone. Well he claimed, after that, that he was unprankable. So I’ve teamed up with Brian,” Connor pans to Brian, “And Connor,” Connor waves at that lens, “And we’ve come up with a plan to prank Shawn. So last night I told Shawn that I was meeting up with an old family friend for dinner while him and Brian watched the game. In reality I sat at McDonald’s with Connor and got play by play text messages from Brian. The picture I posted with another guy was actually a picture completely posed of Connor and I, that Brian took earlier while Shawn was at rehearsals. I was super shady and have been keeping my distance from Shawn since I got back from my ‘dinner’” You motion air quotes, “And well,” You pull your hair back and reveal the fake hickey. “We’re gonna prank Shawn into thinking that someone else gave me a hickey.”

He’d gone all morning without noticing. You even put your hair up to expose of your neck even more.

It wasn’t until you were seated with the band at lunch that he saw it. You knew when he saw it too, because his eyes widened a little, and Connor had zoomed in on the two of you.

He cleared his throat, adjusted the way he was sitting and leaned closer to subtly inspect your neck. His cheeks flushed, and when you laid a hand on his thigh he brushed you off.

You made the slight signal to Brian and he nodded and worked on getting the team out of the room, Connor dropped his camera off on the desk, still filming and everyone left except you too.

The second you two were alone he spoke up.

“What is that?” He asks, pointing at your neck with his chin, voice even, jaw clenched.

“What’s what?” You play dumb, looking behind you at the camera.

“On your neck.” He bites his lip. “That’s a hickey on your neck.”

“A what.” You reach up and rub the wrong side of your neck.

“No, right there.” He reaches out and touches it. “That’s a hickey.”

He locks eyes with you, and all you can see is anger and insecurity.

“Did you give me a hickey?” You stumble over your words.

He rolls his eyes. “When the fuck would I have given you a hickey? We haven’t done anything in four days.”

You wanna laugh at the fact that he knows the exact amount of days, but don’t.

“I must have burnt myself on my flat iron this morning.” You pull away from his hand.

“Bullshit,” He spits, “That’s not a fucking burn, that’s a fucking hickey.”

“It’s not a hickey Shawn.”

“Yes the fuck it is.” His eyes flare, and it’s like it all clicks. His breathing picks up and his hands start to shake.

You’re over the prank by now.

“Shawn,” You reach for his hand before he pulls away and slides his body away from yours. “Stop.”

“Who were you with last night?” He asks, eyes flickering from your neck to your eyes. “Where did you go? Why were you gone so late?”

He’s finger combing through his curls and shaking his head.

“Oh my god, holy shit.” He looks back at your neck, really looking at it.

“Shawn,” You start but he shakes his head.

“Tell me the truth, who were you with? What friend was it?”

He was actually believing that you would cheat on him, and he was working himself up into a panic.

“Stop,” You crawl forward, planting yourself on his lap. “It’s a prank, look at me, it’s prank.”

His head snaps to look at you, eyes wide and blown out. “What?”

“Connor! Brian!” You call. “I’m calling it, prank over.”

The boys peek into the room from the hall.

Shawn looks confused as he looks around, watching Connor walk over to the desk and grab his camera.

“Oh my god,” Shawn throws his head back, “Holy shit.”

His breathing starts to even out, and he relaxes against you.

“I can’t believe you believed it.”

“You scared me!” He whines, looking at you with hooded lids. “You were being hella shady last night and this morning, and then like you’ve got a hickey.” He mumbles. “How do you have a hickey?”

“It’s lipstick.”

He licks his thumb and wipes it across your neck, looking back at his thumb that’s now a slight shade of purple.

“Oh my god,” He sighs, “Don’t do that! I was freaking out. You’re my whole life, and like, ughh!”

“How’s that for unprankable bitch?” Brian asks, laughing from the doorway.

“That was mean.” He pouts looking up at you. “Don’t do that! Fucking, pants me in public or something, but don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry, they convinced me too.”

“I almost took your promise ring.” He whispers, thumbing with it.

You gasp and rip your hand back. “You will do no such thing.”

“What do you expect, I thought-”

“I know,” You dig your hands into his curls. “But I would never, you know that.”

He takes a deep breath and rests his forehead against yours.

Connor walks around and focuses on your face.

“Well you saw it here folks, Shawn Mendes isn’t as unprankable as he thought he was.” You say to the camera, getting Shawn to look up.

“Oh Baby, you don’t even know what you started.” He grins, looking at you to the camera. “Stay tuned.”

2K notes · View notes

brashierc · 5 years

Text

Baby Brash

July 13th, his 20th birthday. That night was the reason why you were here today. If that night wouldn’t have happened you wouldn’t have peed on a stick this morning, it wouldn’t have been positive and you wouldn’t be sitting on the bed at your OBGYN’s clinic awaiting for her results.

You’ve been best friends with Connor since you both were 7. That was 13 years of friendship. 13 years of listening to him go on about photography, 13 years of supporting him and his dreams no one else really supported when he first got started in high school.

It was also 13 years of being asked how long you two had been in a relationship.

Girls and boys can be best friends without falling in love. Or well, that’s what you always said to everyone when they asked. You’d been in love with Connor since you were 17, but you knew he’d never feel the same, so you kept that feeling pushed way back into your brain.

Connor was there for you through every boyfriend, just like you were for his girlfriends. The heartbreak and the first time discussions after the fact.

“Alright,” The Doctor walks in after tapping on the wooden door with her knuckle twice. “So your positive was correct, you are pregnant.”

You sighed, shoulders sinking. “Really?”

“Yep, really really pregnant.” She smiles, handing you a few brochures. “Let’s go over your options.”

You look up with wide eyes, horror running through your veins and emotions.

“Let’s not, thanks Doc, but I’m already attached to this kid, and if you knew the Dad you would be too.”

She smiles, nodding but telling you to take the brochures just in case.

She refers you to one of her colleagues who’s an Obstetrician with her practice and can take you through your pregnancy and birth.

You take the information she gave you and leave with a small smile and a polite wave goodbye to her front office receptionist. Once you’re back in your car you let the new totally settle in.

You were having a baby, with Connor, at age 19 and 20. Super cool.

On Connor’s birthday everything went a little crazy. Shawn threw a rager, wanting to celebrate his newest addition to his team, and his friend who was turning the big 2 0. He flew you out to where they were so you could be there to celebrate and surprise Connor.

Everyone went a little crazy, everyone.

Brian was so blacked out that he took Alessia back to his room with him, forgot that he invited her in, and called Shawn from the bathroom freaking out that she’d followed him home. (Even though we were all in the same hotel)

Shawn was the only one that didn’t go hard. Knowing he had shows and other obligations like filming music videos and meeting up with Chance the Rapper. He supervised, and not well, but had a blast watching everyone be stupid and make fools of themselves.

Connor was a clingy needy drunk, so throughout the night he just became more and more glued to your side. He hadn’t seen you in months, and missed you so much. It all started when he wanted to dance to the slow songs with you, hands on your hips, holding you close. You fell into his embrace, missing being held in such a way, and feeling so safe with Connor. He planted a few kisses to your neck, and one just behind your ear learning very quickly that that was your weak spot.

After you let out a shaky moan of his name, tucking your fingers into his hair, you were a goner. You both quickly found your way back to his room, falling on the bed nakedly exploring the other between the sheets.

By morning? You both swore to never speak of it again, pretend like nothing happened, and move on. Everything was normal, it literally was like nothing happened. He still picked on you, you still gave him shit in front of the guys, but you both were still there for the other in ways no one else could be.

You clicked on his contact; ‘Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash”

Brian really changed Connor’s name in your phone to the best thing you’d ever seen, you wouldn’t dare change it.

“Whattup?” He answered on the third ring, and suddenly, you’re emotional.

“Hey,” You choke out, looking around trying to distract your brain.

“What’s wrong?” His side of the phone shuffles, and becomes marginally quieter.

“Nothing,” You whisper, “What are you doing?”

“I’m talking to you, tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing Con.”

“You’re upset though, I can hear it.”

“When do you come home again?”

“I come home next week, I have to meet my counselor and then register for classes. I get into town on Monday, and I leave Friday.”

You nod, knowing full well he can’t see you. “Can we meet on Monday?”

You need to tell him, and you won’t keep this a secret from him longer than you have too.

“Um yeah, I fly in at like 8, wanna meet for coffee and breakfast or something?”

“Yeah perfect.”

“Okay…..? Ready to tell me what’s wrong yet?” He asks.

You sigh, “I should let you go, you’re probably busy.”

“No, hey,” He protests. “I wanna talk, I miss you.”

You smile, insides running warm when you hear his voice say those words. “I miss you too Baby Brash.”

You can hear him sigh and you can practically see him rolling his eyes. “So you watched the newest video?”

“Of course I did, got your post notifications on.”

“No you don’t.”

“No you’re right, I don’t, I have Shawn’s on.”

At this he laughs, like a snort and everything and it makes you feel good, to be able to get him to laugh like that again, to hear that laugh.

“Brashier, we gotta go!” Brian yells at him in the background.

“You’re literally standing behind me, why you gotta yell?”

“Because I felt like pissing you off.” Brian snickers. “Who you on the phone with? Gots a girlyfriend?” Something must happen on Connor’s side of the phone because suddenly all you can hear is boys yelling.

“Connor that’s the fourth girl you’ve been on the phone with today!”

“There is no hot sex going on over here!”

“PASS THE WEED MAN!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Connor’s voice is back, “Jesus it’s just Y/n, could you…?”

“But we wanna say hi!” Shawn and Brian whine.

You giggle and blush a little at the attention.

Connor shuffles the phone, and then you can barely hear him, he’s really muffled but you make it out. “She’s upset about something, so could you fucking leave for a minute. I was getting her to talk and then you fuckers walked in.” A few seconds later and he’s back crystal clear. “Okay they left, you still there Honey?”

“You didn’t need to kick them out.”

“But I wanna talk to you.”

“They just wanted to say hi.”

“But you’re my best friend.” He whines, “They’d steal all your attention.”

“You need to go, I’ll see you next week okay?”

“Okay, love you kid.” He says softly.

“Love you too Brash.”

He walks in, looking all nerdy cute, face down into his phone.

iMessage from Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash: Im here where u is

“If you ever looked up from your phone you’d know I’m here too Bitch.” You say from your table, laughing when he jumps and looks over at you.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He laughs, smiling really wide when you stand and give him a big hug. “Fuck I missed you Kid.” He sighs into your neck, letting your scent relax his stressed out mind.

“Missed you too.”

He takes the seat across from you, thanking you for the coffee you already had ordered and sat in front of his seat on the table. He takes a sip as you take a deep breath and shut your eyes to give yourself that last push of encouragement.

“Connor?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.” You blurt.

It’s then that you realize your eyes are still closed, opening them one at a time to see his reaction. It’s comical almost, the sight of him, jaw dropped, eyes bugging, body frozen.

You give it a moment, a second to really settle into his brain, you needed to do the same when you found out. Hell, you’re still doing that.

He clears his throat, shakes his head a bit, but his eyes continue to flare out at you.

“Excuse me?” He croaks.

“I’m pregnant,” You nod, watching him nod with you. “And it’s yours.”

He hums, and continues to stare at you. You take a sip of your decaf coffee, wincing at the weird taste.

“Fuck man, I don’t know if I can handle 9 months of decaf, that shit is gross as hell.”

This seems to snap Connor out of whatever daze he was in.

“You’re being real right now?” He looks around, “Is Brian here filming me? Is this a prank or something? You got me, you got my reaction, turn it off now.”

You sigh, worried he would think something like that. You just sit there, staring at him.

“You’re being real?!?” He says with persistence in his voice, leaning closer to you.

“That night we swore to never speak of again? Well, we’ll be talking for at least the next 18 years.” You shrug.

He’s still in shock, just staring at you with a glazed over glance. You just nod and smile a little at him, trying to coax him through his shock.

“I-” He gapes, “Um, we...I...condom!”

You giggle, shaking your head at him while rolling your eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re gonna do? Blurt ‘condom’ out like it’ll fix everything?”

“But I used one!” He’s becoming defensive. Snapping at you in ways he’s done in the past when he’s stressed to the brim and can’t control his emotions. You can count the amount of times snapped at you on one hand.

“They’re only 98% effective, if that, Connor. Or maybe it broke or something. It happened, and I’m pregnant.”

“No! We can’t, a baby?”

You take a deep breath, trying to tell yourself that he’s just in shock and that he’s gonna be happy about this, someday. He doesn’t mean the way he’s reacting right now.

“How are you calm right now?” He asks in shrill.

“I don’t know Connor, life happens. It’s not perfect but we’ll figure it out.” You shrug, raising your voice a little to match his level.

“Fucking shit,” He tugs at his hair, face grimancing as he groans.

You sigh, grabbing your purse, collecting your phone and coffee and stand to leave. His head whips up when you stand, and he watches as you straighten out your shorts before starting to walk away.

“No, don’t go.” He pleads.

“Talk to me when this settles Connor. I can’t be here to watch you freak out. My hormones are all sorts of fucked up right now and I’m trying to stay positive about this whole thing but your reaction isn’t helping.”

He gets up and follows you out of the coffee shop, racing to meet you at your car before you can leave.

“Wait, talk to me, please.” He blocks your door so you can’t close it.

You look up, tears in your eyes that tear his heart apart. “We really did turn into Ross and Rachel huh? Just like everyone said throughout high school. Except we won’t end up together, we’ll always be the Ross and Rachel before they got together.”

He shakes his head, “I’m your lobster.”

Connor sits on your couch three days later. This was the first chance he’d been able to actually come over, any other conversations have been over the phone or text message since your meeting at the coffee shop.

It’s kind of awkward, the both of you sitting in silence as you try to not bring up the elephant in the room.

“I’m sorry,” You clear your throat, wincing as you lean forward and start this conversation. “I’m sorry that I up and left you on Monday. That wasn’t cool. I dropped a big ass bomb on you, something we would have never expected in a million years, and then just got up and left you alone. My hormones are whacked out right now but that’s not an excuse. So I’m sorry for being a shitty friend and making you go through that shock alone.”

“Hey,” He shakes his head, turning towards you on the couch, scooting closer. “Don’t be sorry. I was kind of being a jackass. I shouldn’t have flipped out like that.”

You sigh, smiling up at him. “I missed you, a lot.”

His hand falls on top of yours, fingers intertwining. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” He sighs, letting his eyes rake over you for a moment, imagining what you’ll look like with a baby bump. “How the hell am I supposed to leave for tour?”

“Just go, I’m not due until May. You’ll be back in December, that’s plenty of time.”

“You’re pregnant, I want to be here for appointments, picking out and setting up the crib, cravings, all of it!”

You smile, reaching over and caressing his cheek. “Then talk to Shawn, sit down with Cez, explain it to Brian because he’ll lose his shit if you leave him without a solid reason behind it. We’ll figure it out, and make do.” You shrug.

He nods, leaning into your hand a little. “You always make everything better.”

“That’s because I know you Connor David,” You tap his cheek twice, “I know how to handle you.”

He grins, rolling his eyes before flopping back into the corner of your couch he’s claimed as his. “Have you told your mom yet?” He asks, throwing your fluffy white and black throw blanket over his lap.

“No,” You sigh, kicking your feet up and relax across from him on your sectional. He smirks as you take a breath, reaching over and grabbing your feet to give you a foot massage. “What are you doing?”

“Gotta get used to pampering you, might as well get a head start.” He murmurs. “Are you scared to tell your mom?”

“I mean not really. It’s not the ideal situation I was hoping for when I thought about having kids. But like, I can’t complain. I’m honored to have your kid Con, I think I got lucky when it comes to the baby daddy part of this.”

He tilts his head, looking over at you with a blush on his cheeks.

“I guess you could say I got pretty lucky with the baby mama part.” He mutters, watching you from under his lashes, grinning when you roll your eyes and throw your head back to hide the apparent blush forming across your cheeks.

Your guest bedroom that once used to be your small library and office area has now been bombarded with camera gear, a full sized bed covered in basic grey sheets and a black comforter.

Connor spoke with Shawn and Cez the first chance he had when he got back to tour. He explained the situation, as awkward and unexpected it is, and expressed his need to be home more for you and his unborn child.

Both were very understanding to him and his needs, granting him a week off a month ensuring that he’d still be able to get enough footage but also time at home. It also gave Shawn and the crew a moment of peace and not having to worry about cameras so much, not that Connor is like the crazy paps.

But now that Connor will be home once a month it made sense that he move into your spare room instead of having to stay with his parents or pay for a place he really wouldn’t see all that often. It was the perfect set up, to be there and help you when you need it.

You two were still adjusting to living together, or with another human (of the different sex).

You walked into the apartment from class, stopping short when the first thing you saw in your kitchen was Connor, in only his black Calvins.

“Bro,” You shield your eyes setting your backpack on your bar stool, “Can you wear pants?”

Connor looks over at the sound of your voice, a slice of cheese between his fingers, munching on a bite. He looks down, and then back up to you holding a hand over your eyes.

“I’m in boxers, I’m not naked.”

“No one wants to see your dick though,” You shake your head, grinning as you say, “Been there, done that.”

He chuckles, leaning closer to you and peeling your hands away from your eyes so you can see his smug smile. “You weren’t complaining then.”

Your jaw drops and you blush as he raises an eyebrow at you. “Well,” You stutter, “I mean,” He smiles, getting the best reaction out of you. “Shut up, go put clothes on!” You smack his arm shooing him to his room.

You both were getting really good and creative with ways to hiding your pregnancy. The only people who knew were the team, and family. Not even friends from your high school knew.

The issue with hiding this was the fact that Connor was gaining a lot of attention from Shawn’s fans. You didn’t blame them, no matter what brought them to become a fan of his, it at least brought more attention to his work and was getting him that much more popular. This just meant that you had to take hiding your pregnancy to a whole new level.

For a while you were able to just wear some big sweatshirts to cover the smallest bump you had. When sweatshirts weren’t able to work so much you then resorted to really flowy shirts and a big purse you could always swing in front of your belly.

There was even one time that Connor and the whole crew were in town. They had invited you to lunch since no one had seen you since Connor told everyone. But at the end of lunch the manager came to tell the group that the paparazzi had followed Shawn and his own lunch date.

You were panicked while everyone just rolled their eyes and grumbled about how someone had probably called them so pictures of Shawn and his date could be taken. You looked to Connor and gulped as he laughed with Brian about a meme he was showing him.

“Y/n, you okay?” Shawn asked from across the table.

He was always so kind, and it boggled your mind how he could always see everyone, even when there were thousands in front of him, he could see everyone and notice every mood change.

Connor looked over after Shawn’s question and noticed your worried expression.

“Um, I’m,” You looked down at your shirt that very clearly showed off your small baby bump. “We haven’t told-”

“Oh shit,” Connor mumbled now noticing what you were referring too. “Fuck they’re gonna get pictures of us.” He looked to Shawn.

“I totally forgot,” Shawn rubs his forehead. “I’m so sorry you guys.”

“Do you have anything to like hide behind?” Brian asked.

“No, I didn’t bring a jacket because it’s so nice out.” You shake your head.

“Actually,” Connor cringes, looking at Josiah. “Do you still have your pocket reflector?”

Josiah nods, handing it to Connor.

“We’ll head out first, and then you guys go with Brian and maybe they’ll won’t pay you much attention. We’ll take a walk down the block or something.” Shawn stands, giving you an apologetic smile before walking out with his date.

You look to Connor and Brian as Connor is unfolding the reflector that creates a decent sized circle. You just laugh out loud when he offers it to you.

“What?” He asks.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” You laugh taking it from him. “It definitely doesn’t look like I’m hiding anything.” You’re sarcastic tone makes the boys chuckle.

“Here,” Brian hands Connor an old disposable camera. “Pretend like you’re taking my picture as we walk to the car so it looks like she’s actually using it.”

You just laugh harder and so do the boys at this elaborate plan to cover your pregnant belly.

At 5 months your little one is now starting to move. You’re really uncomfortable at the moment, in the stages of dealing with pregnancy and the symptoms.

Tonight is no different, if anything, it’s worse. Baby Brash (literally) has the hiccups and it’s causing your belly to move every 30 seconds or so. So sleeping at the moment isn’t a reality. Finding a comfortable spot to fall asleep isn’t a reality either.

iMessage from Papa 👶: Stop moving, I can hear your bed springs, lord help our child when you get laid.

You rolled your eyes at Connor’s message. He changed his name in your phone when he finally saw what you had him under. He even changed your name in his phone to ‘Mama 👶’ with the baby emoji.

iMessage to Papa👶 : Tell your child to stop moving so much then

You watched as he read the message, but frowned a little when he didn’t start responding. You jumped when your bedroom door creaked open, revealing Connor in a worn white t shirt and plaid pajama pants.

“Hey you,” He crawls into your bed, shuffling under your covers with you. “Hey Kid,” He smiles, leaning down to plant a small kiss to your belly. “Stop moving in there so Mama can go to sleep. She’s keeping me up because you’re keeping her up.”

You roll your eyes again, glaring at him. “Really?”

“You told me to tell the kid.” He shrugs.

His hands have found their way to your belly, rubbing soothing circles in hopes of calming his baby down and lulling you to sleep.

You sigh and let your eyes flutter close.

“What hurts tonight?” He whispers.

“My hips and back.”

“Roll to your side for me.”

You do as told, and moan a little when he starts massaging at your tender hips. Your lower back is so tired and your hips are sore.

He keeps rubbing and tracing designs on your skin until your breathing evens out. He rolls away a little to go back to his room before your rolling towards him, and resting your head on his chest.

“Don’t go.” You whine.

His whole life flashed before his eyes when he got the call. His whole life.

That’s the only words running through his mind.

His whole life.

“What did she say?” Brian as he drove to the airport.

“She said that she was being transported to the hospital and because she’s pregnant they wanted to take her in for more testing just to double check that everything was okay.”

“And what happened again?”

“She was driving home from work, her light went green and she proceeded through the intersection when some dipshit in a fucking truck ran the red and hit the back of her car, sounds like it’s totaled but luckily he just hit her trunk, so she wasn’t hurt to much.”

“She’s okay though right?” Brian asked again.

“As far as I know, but I’ll keep you updated. Just tell everyone else for me okay?”

“Of course man. Just go take care of her and that Baby.”

Connor takes a shaky breath as he looks out the window.

“Connor,” Brian said, surprising him by using his full name. “You need to breathe.”

“My whole life was in that car Brian, my whole life was sitting in the driver's seat of that car, and-”

“You need to breathe Connor.”

“I’m trying!” He snaps at Brian, “But I’m freaking out! My girl and our baby were in an accident today and I’m not there with them! So please forgive me if I’m a little scared and panicked.”

“I know you are, you just gotta stay calm. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.”

“You really need to stop doing that weird fucking yoga thing with Shawn. It’s changing you man.” Connor jokes, trying to lighten his own mood.

By the time Connor’s landed you’re already home and resting. He bursts into the apartment like a bat out of hell, slamming the door and flipping the lock before throwing his bag to the ground and racing to your room.

“Jesus, be a little louder why don’t you.” You comment when he falls into your room.

“Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Is our Bean okay?” He throws himself onto your bed, hands instantly searching for your ever growing bump.

“We’re okay.” You whisper, threading your fingers through his hair to calm him down. “I told you we were fine and that you didn’t need to come home.”

“Right,” He scoffs. “Like I was just gonna stay miles away from you after you’ve been in an accident.”

“But we’re okay! You’re parents, my parents, our siblings, everyone was there with me. Really we’re okay.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, laying down with his head beside your big belly, rubbing and tapping at it, smiling when he feels a few kicks. “My Bean is kicking?” He looks up at you.

“Yeah, has been for a week or so.”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“Well,” You frown, looking away. “To be honest I planned on pretending that the first time Bean kicked when you were home next was the first time so you didn’t feel like you were missing out on anything.”

Connor smiles at you, shaking his head and leaning up to plant a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for planning to lie to me.”

You giggle, before shifting to sit up more. You reach for the papers on your bedside table and hand them to Connor.

“What’s this?” He asks, looking down. His face falls, frown dropping his lips eyes looking up at you. “What is this? Why are you handing me this?”

“I think we need to talk about it.” You shrug.

“Not right now.”

“Connor this is serious, it’s not just us anymore. We’re having a kid, we need to have a Will drawn up.”

“I understand that, but I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“Connor, in the event that something happens to one of us, we need to know what the other wants.”

“Stop, stop, stop talkin’ like that!”

“Connor,”

“Please,” He tugs at his hair, “Please not right now. I understand we need to know, I get that and we’ll have it drawn up but I don’t want to talk about it right now. All my nightmares came true today.” He looks at you with sad eyes. “I haven’t told you this, but lately I’ve been having a few nightmares that something happens to you and our Bean, and I’m not there to help you or protect you.” He shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut. “And that happened to me today. You both were in an accident, and I wasn’t here.”

“Connor,” You say again.

“I get it!” He snaps. “But I don’t like the thought of losing you okay? I’m fucking in love with you, and I don’t really have you, but I thought I lost you when I got that call. So can we stop talking like this for the day? Please? Please can you give my heart a moment?”

You stare up at him with wide eyes, your heart rate picking up at his words.

“You’re what?” You whisper, caressing his cheek.

“Huh?”

“You’re in love with me?”

His eyes go wide in panic now that he’s realized what he’s said.

“Are you being serious?”

“Yeah?” He nods.

“Why haven’t you said anything!” You slap his arm.

“I don’t know, you never-”

“I’ve been in love with you since Junior year!” You keep slapping his arm.

“Stop hitting me!” He grabs your hands, interlocking your fingers.

“You never said anything!” “Neither did you!” He responds.

Things were different now, you still hadn’t really said officially what you two were now, but it was this weird in between stage of best friend and boyfriend.

He would kiss you sometimes, and always hold your hand, he’d even let a few pet names slip, but when asked by others he still referred to you as his best friend.

It confused you to no end, because now that something changed he’s moved into your room, claiming that he would just sneak in every night anyway, and now you had room for a nursery.

“Babe?” He called from the nursery, seated criss cross on the ground, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for your response. “BABE?”

“What?” You call back, walking down the hall to the laundry room.

“Can you bring me a water?”

“Really? You can’t get it yourself?”

“I’m building the crib!”

“I’m doing your laundry!” You yell back, leaning against the dryer, rolling your eyes at his request.

“Please?” He asks softly. When you don’t respond he resorts to baby talk he knows you can’t resist. “Pweety Pwease? I’ll give you kisses.”

You groan, waddling down the hall to the kitchen, grabbing him a cucumber mint flow from the fridge, and grabbing yourself a watermelon lime one. You make your way to the nursery, throwing him the water before taking a seat in the new rocking chair Shawn bought you guys.

“How you doing there Pretty Mama?” He smiles looking over at you.

“I’m tired, and big.” You whine, looking down at your very pregnant belly.

“I think you look really pretty.” He blushes, looking back at the crib.

“You owe me kisses.” You pout.

“Do I?” He looks at you, “What if I was crossing my fingers?”

You gasp, furrowing your brows and crossing your arms across your chest. “That’s so mean. You’re pregnant best friend just waddled her way to the kitchen and back to bring you your precious water and you won’t give her kisses like you promised?”

He’s up on his knees crawling towards you. “Girlfriend.” He hums setting his hands on your thighs so he can lean closer.

“What?”

“You mean my pregnant girlfriend.” He corrects you.

“Do I?” You asked softly, biting your lip as you stare into those blue eyes.

“I sure hope so.” He whispers.

“Is that what I am? Your girlfriend?”

He pulls back a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean? I thought-”

“Yeah me too but then you told the guy at the baby shop that I was your best friend.”

He sighs, hanging his head. “It’s so natural, or I don’t know, programmed in my head to introduce you that way. But I thought we turned into something more when we confessed.”

“Me too, but when you did that it through me off.”

“Babe,” He smiles, rubbing his hands up your legs, “We live together, we sleep in the same bed, we kiss, we love, we laugh, we fight, we’re pregnant.” He let’s his right hand wander to your belly. “I consider you my girlfriend. I hope you consider me your boyfriend.”

“I do.”

“So then why are you pouting?”

“Because I really want kisses.”

“Oh my goodness.” He laughs, leaning forward to cover your lips with his own. He kisses you deeply, pecking your lips three more times before pulling away. “Better?”

“For now.”

“Okay.” He laughs, shaking his head before going back to building the crib.

“Boyfriend?” You yell from the bedroom when you hear the door open.

“It’s Boyfriend and his friends!” Connor yells back. “Girlfriend?”

“Yes?”

“Where are you?”

You quickly finish tying the bow to his gift before making your way to the living room where Shawn and Brian are seated on the couch.

“Hey!” Shawn jumps up, giving you a hug before looking down to your belly. “Can I touch your belly?”

You laugh a little, “Yeah go ahead, thank you for asking.”

“Of course, it would be a little rude to just go ahead.” He says touching your belly.

“Can you tell that to the rest of the world?”

“Hey Bean!” Shawn says to your belly. “Uncle Shawn got you the coolest thing ever!” He says before running to the couch to show you a small guitar case.

“Shawn you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t help myself, I was looking for a new one and saw this little thing.” He pops the case open. “I’ll teach Bean how to play and everything!”

“There you are!” Connor smiles when he enters holding three beers and your favorite flow flavor. He walks up to you, planting a wet smooch to your lips before handing the boys their drinks.

“I have something for you.” You grin, holding up the little gift wrapped box.

“Oh yeah?” He takes it from you.

He unties the bow, rips the paper, and opens the box to reveal a small blue Polaroid camera.

“This is so cute,” He says holding it in his hand.

Shawn gasps and Brian stands up in excitement.

“Where’d you get this honey?”

“It doesn’t matter,” You wave him off, bouncing on your toes in excitement. “What color is it?”

“Blue?” He asks, looking up at you, and then over to the excited boys next to him that are punching the other in the arm.

“And blue is for what?” You pull it out of him.

“Blue is for….” He stares at you, “Blue is for boy.” His eyes light up. “Blue is for boy?”

“Blue is for boy!” You squeal.

“Oh my god! Blue is for boy!” He wraps you up in his arms, kissing your neck. “It’s a boy, we’re having a boy!”

“ITS A BOY!” Shawn and Brian cheer.

You groan in pain as you feel another contraction hit. You’ve been in labor for three hours now and your little boy does not want to come see the world.

Connor tries not to wince or complain about his hand he’s sure you’ve severely bruised. He breathes with you through the pain, running a soothing hand over your head and taking your matted hair back away from your forehead.

“There you go Baby.” He whispers, “You’re doing so good.”

“I love you Connor David,” You smile at him, “But I want to fucking kick you in the balls right now.”

He winces at the thought and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Baby,” He looks away. “I wish I could take your pain away, I wish it were me.”

“Me too.” You relax when the contraction stops.

“Still holding your hand?” The nurse smiles when she walks in to check on you. “You’re better than most Dad’s, they usually wimp out by now from the pain.”

“He never lets go, no matter what.” You smile up at Connor.

“You’re my lobster Baby,” He leans down to kiss your lips.

written by: @shawnm521

615 notes · View notes

loveylangdon · 5 years

Text

Land in Miami

Requested: Hey! I had a story request, could you write about Shawn Mendes, Camila Cabello, and Shawn’s female bf. The bf is on vacation with Shawn and Camila and she gets jealous of their relationship and the bf has health complications and something happens to her and Shawn is torn between his bf or Camila. I know it might be a stretch of you writing this but Thank You! @verylandcolorwagon

Word count: 5k+

A/N: sorry it took so long I saw Shawn in Pittsburgh and have been feeling it lately haha, hope you enjoy Xx

*not my gif credit to owner*

_______

y/n p.o.v.

Landing at the airport was different, getting off the plane to humidity was gross and I definitely needed 10 showers but as promised I told Shawn I would come out for his Miami and Orlando shows. Waiting at baggage claim you couldn’t help but smile remembering Shawn FaceTiming you in his hotel room shirtless white sheets surrounding him as he pouted and begged until you agreed to take time off work to fly out from Toronto to see him for his “Miami magic” shows as he called them. After that call not even 3 minutes later you got an email from Andrew with your airline tickets. Assuming he already asked Andrew to get them and was just waiting for you to say yes like the dozen other times its worked in that order as if you could ever tell him no.

So here you were waiting to get off the plane and head over to baggage claim.

While Shawn couldn’t pick you up for obvious reasons Brian offered to pick you up right after they finished setting up the venue not even 10 minutes after you grabbed your luggage you were being crushed in a bear hug being caught off guard you pushed the body away from you realizing it was the infamous redhead you went in for a hug with the same force. Smiling from ear to ear.

“I missed you” Brian smiled at you kissing your temple “remind me why you can’t join the tour again.” He asked smirking taking your luggage

“Some of us have to work for real Bri we can’t all travel and follow our crushes around like lost puppies” I joked and nudged his shoulder watching his face turn red referencing Alessia and Liv Shawns opener and her best friend for the tour

“Anyways” he clears his throat before continuing “have you seen anything on-“ Brian was cut off by your phone ringing

*Incoming call from rockstar*

Brian smirked at you before you shoved him again answering the FaceTime

“Hello, rockstar what do I owe the pleasure?” You teased through the camera

“Believe me the pleasures all mine, just making sure you landed safely you didn’t text me back” he answered as his ears tinted pink lighting up your phone screen

“She didn’t answer because she’s with the better version of you Shawn, we’re on our way back to the venue” he spoke into the phone

“Oh, I’m not at the venue Andrew wanted to go out to lunch so we’re out now I’ll see you, honey, when I get back to the venue okay, I’m so glad you’re here” he smiled at you and blush covered his cheeks.

“Okay rockstar see you soon” you smiled warmly at him as the FaceTime disconnected.

Brian smirked at you, “Let's go to the venue Tiny is waiting” grabbing your luggage Brian headed towards the car.

————

First it was the Miami show watching from a distance, dealing with Camila wearing all white so Shawn could spot her in the crowd when he performed and the glances he kept sneaking over in her direction is what started your bubble of irritation and her suggesting the beach the next day when she knew you didn’t favor the Ocean is what was getting you past your boiling point.

Shawn asked you to come out but didn’t tell you Camila was here too, not that you necessarily had a problem with her in the past you never favored her. She was always tugging on Shawns heartstrings and he always ran to you to fix him back up with cuddles and loving that was a little much to be considered just best friends. You thought this Miami show was going to be the next step for you guys but you were wrong, clearly.

It started After the Miami show when you waited side stage per tradition for Shawn to come hug you before making his rounds for ‘In My Blood’. You stood there like an idiot when his band members started coming off stage one by one and the song ended. Shawn nowhere in sight exited from a different stage entrance. You waited it out a good 10 minutes watching the arena clear out slowly from where you stood. Thinking why the hell did you fly out here to get ignored. Not having seen Shawn all day except for a brief 5 minutes before the show started you were about to storm out to the bus area when Connor walked past and stopped when he noticed you

“Oh y/n what are you doing back here” he chuckled

Clearing your throat you didn’t really have an answer “I was just about to get to the bus to grab my bag to get ready to go to the hotel” you looked away emotions hitting at once.

First Shawn didn’t see you in person till before the show started, leaving you to spend all day with Brian and Connor and when you finally saw Shawn he was attached to the hip with Camila, you two were supposed to go out to eat at a cafe you both loved only to find out the real reason why he couldn’t pick you up from the airport was because he took Camila there instead Andrew nowhere in sight.

Shaking your head and closing your eyes you felt Connor getting closer to you taking steps towards you with a confused look on his face and then his eyes widened “you were waiting for Shawn, he’s in his dressing room” he gave you sad smile “is it, Camila” he asked with a sincere smile no hate or underline in his tone just concern

“Fuck haha that makes me sound so pathetic, my best friend paying attention to another girl and here I am hurt over it” you joke as you look up trying not to let the tears fall using your hands to hold your face with your eyes peaking out

“It doesn’t, and you’re allowed to feel that way. We all know you guys have something special he’s being an idiot. Honestly, she changes a lot of things. Since she joined the vibe has been different and everyone’s noticing but no one wants to say anything that’s why Andrew suggested to fly you out to try and” Connor stopped talking eyes going wide and looked at you shaking his head “I didn’t mean it like that at okay obviously Shawn wants you here he’s just an idiot and needs help sometimes” he tried to fix his mistake but it was too late your mind was reeling

Shawn didn’t even want you out here, he only asked because Andrew suggested it and he didn’t know how to say no, Connor took a step towards you closing the space between you guys and pulled you into his chest hugging you

“He’s a fucking idiot okay but don’t let it change your trip okay, think of it as a mini-vacation instead you’re only here for 2 more shows let’s make the most of it. And if we do any team things I’ll be right next to you okay” he talked into your ear his cheek resting on the side of your head in your hair he was about to speak again when Shawn started talking from down the hall

“Tiny what are you doing man we need you I’m going to take an ice bath-“ he stopped talking when he got closer and realized Connor was hugging someone with his back to Shawn he didn’t notice you since Connor was a little taller

“Oi, what the hell what happened” Shawn squeaked pushing Connor from you and looking at your face for any sign of distress “what’s wrong” he looked down at you but you looked at Connor, Shawn turned and looked at Connor “what did you do Brashier” Shawn spoke to him

“What” Connor squeaked “nothing I was on my way backstage and-“ Connor looked to you and you gave him a look warning him not to mention anything

“And what” Shawn glared at him getting defensive over you

“Nothing Shawn everything’s fine really I just messed up something with work and Connor was comforting me” you smiled at him and moved his arm that made its way across your shoulder moving towards Connor who was in front of Shawn

Shawn looked down at you hurt flashing across his eyes and was about to say something when you heard the clicking of heels. Camila was running towards Shawn heels clicking along the concrete floors getting louder and louder the closer she got hearing her squeal she wrapped Shawn in a big hug and he lifted her off the ground wrapping his arm around her torso and hoisting her up to level with him they immediately went into a kiss Shawns concern for you long gone and forgotten.

You felt Connor looking at you sadly, you just nodded your head towards the buses and walked outside the venue feeling him follow closely behind.

That night Shawn, Camila and some of the crew went out for drinks. Brian stayed with Alessia who headed to Orlando right after the show because they wanted to go to some of the amusement parks in the area before soundcheck the next day.

Laying on your hotel bed hugging a pillow to your chest after checking your phone you found out Shawn and Camila were at the club from one of the crew members Instagram stories. Shawn didn’t even invite you or let you know where he was going. He forgot about you again.

Glad you had your own room you wouldn’t have to deal with Shawn, usually when you came on tour he was clingy not that you minded you loved him and would do anything for him he usually wanted to share a room with you so you could cuddle and hang out but obviously that was already being done.

Sighing you heard a knock on your hotel room door leaving it alone thinking they would go away because no one even knew you were here you let it be until it got louder

“Okay I’m coming hold on” you shouted as you made your way through the ensuite to the door opening it seeing Connor holding a pizza box and a grocery bag of snacks

Smiling at him “Connor Brashier and what do I owe the pleasure” stepping back to make way for him to come in he smiled at you

“Thought you could use some company” he shrugs and goes to put everything into your bed “I brought snacks, food, and movies”

“You’re the best Brashier honestly” you smile at him and notice him standing awkwardly next to the bed you go to pull him onto the bed next to you digging out the plates and napkins, eating and snaking talking about college courses and how he handled touring so young. You both fell asleep after a couple of movies and before Shawn sent a mass group text telling everyone to get ready for the beach in a couple of hours.

___

You’re second day here and have probably seen Shawn for a total of 20 minutes altogether. You texted him about breakfast after he sent out the text about the beach to find out he was already out with Camila from pictures all over social media.

For the past two days, that's how you’ve seen Shawn, plastered all over the internet with the short girl attached to his hip at your guys’ favorite restaurants kissing or eating each other as you saw it. Both of them eating at places he promised he would take you out to when you landed, and here you were spending more time with his tour photographer and seeing the inside of your hotel room than him.

The only person that seemed to care was Connor, and even then it was because when you guys all went to the beach despite your disapproval. But you couldn’t handle the waves, Con saved you from almost drowning, being surrounded by 6ft something guys everyone just kept going deeper and deeper into the water, usually you would be holding onto Shawn but he seemed to be pre-occupied and Brian left on the bus with Alessia to head out early to Orlando so your only lifeline was Con.

Your fear of large bodies of water completely went over Shawns head when Camila said she knew the perfect beach to go to, Connor offered to stay behind with you not being a big fan of the ocean himself but Shawn wasn’t having it. He wanted the whole team to go. The beach was the final straw, you were ready to go home after his Miami show clearly you weren’t welcome here with Camila pulling him every which way and you definitely weren’t the type of person to fight for a guys attention.

Watching her cling on to him for dear life and watching them make out in front of paps has gotten annoying and frustrating. You wanted to yell at Shawn and Andrew for even inviting you but you were more hurt than anything. You were easily forgotten and no one seemed to notice.

Connor kept his promise and stood by you the entire day which he was truly an angel for. When the waves got a little stronger Con noticed Camila and you struggling to keep afloat Shawn automatically went to Camila leaving Connor to help you attach yourself to him. You and Con stayed on the other side of Cez in the water across from Shawn and Mila. You rested your head on Con’s shoulder most of the time due to being tired from the movie marathon the night before and irritation from Shawn. You noticed Shawn glaring in your guys direction, Connor must have to because he wasn’t having any of it so he kept twirling you in the water keeping a firm grip on your waist and made sure your arms were wrapped securely around his neck, keeping up a conversation to distract you which you were happy for.

After the beach Camila wanted to go to the Hotel pool and swim for a bit you were going to excuse yourself but again Shawn wanted the entire team to go leaving you no choice but to follow.

Now here you were 2 days after landing you found yourself in your hotel room packing up your suitcase ready to leave after leaving the hotel pool to Shawn and Camila eating each other once again in front of everyone and paparazzi, having enough of seeing Shawn swallow Camila you were tired of it. You told Con you were going back to your room and left without saying goodbye to anyone.

Texting your friend about everything she agreed you should just come home. You thought yours and Shawns relationship was stronger than this, being friends for 15 years you’ve been with him through everything and never has he ignored you this bad or left you to your own defenses or even alone at all, when you joined him on tour regardless of what girl he had on his arm he always prioritized you and if his girl couldn’t get that he wouldn’t waste his time with her. You thought this trip was what was going to finally take things into the next step of your guys' relationship but clearly, you were wrong. This trip was a dud and all for nothing and you were left fuming.

Your thoughts about the horrid past two days were broken when you heard pounding on your hotel door about 15 minutes later.

“Why did you leave?” You hear Shawn stomp in after hearing the door slam forgetting Andrew had the second key to each of the rooms. You cursed under you breathe. He walked in shirtless hair still damp from the pool wearing his Nike shorts. He sounded pissed.

“Because I got tired of being ignored” you look at him shrugging your shoulders

He narrowed his eyes at you “this is about Camila, isn’t it? She said you were jealous I should’ve known”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You look at him and he’s gone all defensive again arms crossed over his chest

“You left the pool do you know how rude that was, Camila just wanted to have a nice off the day with everyone and you fucking left without telling anyone” he looked at you

“Con knew I was leaving I told him” you huffed and watched him roll his eyes

“Oh yeah your new best friend right, after I fly you out here all you can do is spend time with Connor” you heard hurt and sarcasm in his tone and it only made you mad

“You do not get to do this to me Shawn I’m fucking tired of it, don’t drag Connor into this he didn’t do anything wrong”

“Tired of what y/n the truth you’ve been spending time with Connor more than me I haven’t seen you in months and the first time I see you you’re wrapped up in Connors' arms and I find out form Andrew that Con didn’t sleep in his room he was with you the entire night” Shawn shouts at you

Rubbing your temples you look up to see a red-faced Shawn “No Shawn I'm tired of you ignoring me the second I stepped foot off the plane-”

“what are you talking about” he scoffs

“let me finish” you glare at him “You’re right I've been spending time with Connor but because my best friend didn’t even want me out here in the first place, how do you think that makes me feel Shawn honestly you beg me to come out here to hang out to see some shows I finally take time off work which I don’t have because I visited you for 3 weeks a couple of months ago, but I made it work because you said you needed me out here.” You’re about to cry but continue after taking a breath “As soon as I land I find out you’re doing everything you promised to do with me but with Camila.” You sigh rubbing your temples looking up at him “I'm not going to fight for your attention Shawn you know that, so yes I left and I'm oh so sorry for upsetting your little girlfriend but clearly I’m not welcome here and I’m tired of seeing you go out and do our favorite things with someone else.” You look at him and you see the pain behind his eyes and he's about to respond when his phone rings in his hand and a picture of Camila pops up on the screen.

You scoff “of fucking course” you grab your purse and head out of the hotel room and make your way to Connors room hoping he left the pool when you did.

Knocking on his door and not receiving any answer you know he's still at the pool, you go to reach for your phone before realizing you left it in your hotel room and you’d be damned if you went to confront Shawn again. Making your way into the lobby you ask the concierge to leave a message for Connors room so when he got back to his room he would know you went out and didn't have a phone but not to worry you’d be back before dark.

You were walking around for what felt like hours, not remembering where you roamed off to you had a headache and you're sure you looked like death. You noticed some who you assumed were fans looking at you but you could care less. Eyes bloodshot and puffy you were tired and feeling pain in your feet from walking so far but being too stubborn to turn back. The last thing you remember was it being too hard to breathe feeling a sharp pain in your back and seeing black spots before you heard someone scream your name and felt the ground under you.

---

Shawns p.o.v.

Watching y/n walkout was the hardest thing I felt like a piece of me walked out of the door but it was my fault for not telling her about Mila and expecting her to go along with whatever plans I obviously didn’t tell her about. I felt like I let her down that I let us down.

I've been so stressed about tour and Senorita coming out when Camila told me her boyfriend broke up with her because of me I felt awful and she kinda just stuck around after that.

Sitting down at dinner with Camila I can feel her starring at the side of my face. I kept my phone in my hand waiting for a call from Connor to tell me he found her. Biting the inside of my cheek I hoped she would come back by now. Y/n left as the sun was about to set and in my attempt to call her back into the room I realized she left her phone behind. I broke down into a panic and that's how Connor found me with Camila trailing behind him upset that I wasn't ready for dinner and that I left her at the pool.

Here I sat with Camila and her family talking about last nights show and how it was probably the best show out of the entire tour. Feeling Camila’s eyes boring into the side of my head I turned to look at her and gave her a kiss trying to portray that I was here with her and she had my full attention. She already chewed me out for leaving her with the team, and how y/n was being selfish and inconsiderate of her feelings. How she didn’t get to see me as often as she wanted either.

My phone glued to my hands waiting for anything to pop up about y/n it was like I summoned a call from Andrew going to hit the answer button, Camila’s small hand took my phone out of my hands ended the call and put it into her purse.

“Mila my phone” I looked down at her softly so her family wouldn't notice

“We’re having dinner Shawn you don’t need it” she pecked my cheek and turned to talk to her cousin next to her

I stared at Mila’s bag watching it light up counting 7 different times where it did, my knee bouncing with nerves. Grabbing Mila’s hand I excused us to the hallway

“Camila my phone now” I held my hand out waiting for it

“Shawn no, we’re having dinner you promised you would do this for me, for us I already told you that girl is fine she’s probably doing it for attention now lets go back sit down and have a nice meal you can have your phone back later” she pecked my lips and held my hand pulling me out of the hall before I could get a word in.

Before we could walk all the way back to the table I saw Andrew standing next to the table and looked at Camila who rolled her eyes in annoyance

“Andrew what-”

“y/n is in the hospital Connors with her right now but she might need her stuff to go home after, you have the extra hotel key I need it,” he said nonchalantly staring me down and I felt myself visibly shrink he was mad at me

“Oh I have the extra key” Camila chirped and dug through her purse handing it to Andrew

“Is y/n okay what happened, where is she lets go?” I said grabbing my jacket and waiting for Andrew who put a hand on my chest

“Stay and finish your meal with Camila and her family, I'm going back to the hotel to get y/n passport so when she wakes up we can get her home”

“What,” I say louder “What do you mean when she wakes up what happened Andrew lets go” I go to pull on his arm when I feel Camila tug on mine

“Shawn you can’t drop everything for her, she's not your responsibility she walked out on you why do you care” she huffed annoyed with jealousy dripping from her tone

I lean down to kiss her forehead “Ill see you at the hotel later okay” I smile at her and she crosses her arms over her chest

“Shawn if you leave that's it. You've embarrassed me enough tonight” she spoke through her teeth

“Mila don’t do this right now I have to go” I see hurt flash across her face

“Then leave! go after her like you always did, like you always do” she huffs and throws my phone at my chest and turns around back to her family.

I give them a small smile and her mom gives me a sympathetic smile and I turn to find Andrew but he’s nowhere to be found. Fuck.

I walk out of the restaurant and check my phone all missed calls from Connor and Andrew and I hit Connors number and start sprinting back to the hotel hoping to catch Andrew.

----

y/n p.o.v.

I wake up to bright lights and a weight on my side I look down to see a mop of brown curls resting on me and on the other tufts of blonde hair.

I’m about to wake Connor to find out what happened when Brian and Andrew walk through the door

“Oh good morning sleeping beauty, how are you feeling,” Brian asks whispering to not wake Shawn and Connor

“Everything hurts, what happened” I nod to Shawn and raise my eyebrows his body was hunched over in his chair, his cheek was laying on my side and his eyes puffy with his mouth slightly open breathing softly.

“Let’s get the boys out of here and we can talk yah?” Andrew suggests and you nod at him closing your eyes again and feeling a pain in your arm. Letting out a yelp you start to feel dizzy all over again and see you woke up Shawn and Connor looking frantic while a nurse came in to check on you before your vision went black.

Waking up a second time to bright lights making you squint going to move your hand to shield your face you felt a weight in it. Looking over you saw Shawn a 6’2 giant curled into a ball attempting to fit in a chair next to your bed with his hand in yours. You try to detangle your fingers from his but even in his sleep he’s not having it and you feel too weak to fight it. He must’ve felt your struggle because his eyes opened wide not even 5 seconds later.

As soon as you made eye contact with him he a fresh set of tears started streaming down his pink blotchy cheeks and streams of mumbled apologies fell from his lips.

“Hey, hey rockstar it's fine I’m okay, look I'm here”

His tears didn't stop flowing but he rubbed his nose on his sleeve taking a shaky breathe “I could've lost you and its all my fault I'm so sorry I shouldn’t have let you leave, I shouldn’t have yelled at you ‘msorry for being so shitty everything that happened was my fault and I understand if you don’t want to talk to me for a while” he broke eye contact and looked down on your bed

“What happened,” you ask softly

“After you left the hotel I don’t know how long you were gone but apparently you went far enough and cried enough to where it was enough to dehydrate you, the weather and traveling also impacted your body, your body went into stress paralysis causing you to blackout and have an internal seizure” he sighed as more tears streamed down his face “I could have lost you, luckily a fan saw you and called an ambulance and they brought you here and made sure the hospital called Andrew luckily he was on your emergency contact” he shows a small smile remembering how when you first went on tour with Shawn you broke your arm and neither of you had your phones so you guys just waited in the hospital. After that Karen made sure you added Andrew onto your emergency contact in case something like that happened again he would be notified instead of thinking he lost two teenagers in a random state. “If I was with you, or even paid attention to you like I promised we wouldn't be here you wouldn't have to be dealing with this if I didn’t ask you to come out here because I'm selfish, I'm so sorry I'm an idiot who doesn't deserve you at all” he choked out

You hummed, stress paralysis was something you dealt with when your parents went through a divorce and things got really bad. Putting on so much stress and not being able to talk about it your body retaliated and went into fits of paralysis to literally exert the stress out of your body. You didn’t realize how hard yours and Shawns fight effected you.

“Please say something” Shawn looked up at you with red eyes and blotchy cheeks, holding your hand in both of his he waited patiently

“You’re going to have to do worse than put me in a hospital to get rid of me rockstar” you spoke softly to him as you felt his arms wrap around your torso and his head in your neck “I’m still upset but you can make it up to me”

“Anything you want and it's yours, I love you and I'm so sorry” he mumbled into your neck careful not to squeeze you too tight placing a kiss on your pulse.

---

thank you for reading, slightly unedited I've been busy but I wrote this in under an hour thank you for being patient. don't forget to leave feedback and comments thank you Xxx

#shawn mendes x reader #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes blurb #connor brashier #camila cabello

544 notes · View notes

harryandmolly · 5 years

Text

Ten Years - Part One

summary: ten years after 2007 Warped Tour, Shawn and Val come face to face in London

warnings: Language, that good yearning

WC: 3.3k

A/N: this is a post-epilogue miniseries of I Could Write It Better Than You Ever Felt It. I recommend you read that first or this will make you go 🤔

------------

Shawn has never felt further from his 19-year-old self than right now, squished into what has to be the world’s tiniest lift with Val and Alice and Alice’s very large, fancy pram.

The rickety lift slowly drags them up to the third floor of the old building. In the mirrored doors, Shawn watches them, saved from Val’s returning gaze as she focuses on making faces at her sleepy baby. Her back is pressed up against his chest. He can smell the achingly familiar citrus scent of her hair. But he can barely recognize the boy that ran away from this girl.

The lift stops with an alarming little jolt but Val looks unbothered. She hands the pram off to Shawn to steer while she fishes keys out of her purse. Shawn walks slowly, gazing down at Alice’s round and curious face. Who are you to be taking up my mommy’s attention? She seems to say. Shawn’s lower lip twitches. Who, indeed.

Val lets them into the dark flat. It’s roomier than Shawn expected, having seen the modest building from the outside. As Val flips on lights, Shawn’s hungry eyes suck in as much as they can, committing it to memory for further study.

The walls are a rich shade of deep, deep red. The furniture is modern but comfortable. There are bookshelves in every corner, packed full of fantasy, art texts and music biographies. He stumbles over a stuffed colorful caterpillar toy. It makes Val chuckle.

He looks up at her and watches as she drops her jacket onto a hanger and kicks her boots into a corner next to a teeny tiny pair of cleats that make him smile.

“Already got her on a club team?” he rasps, finding his voice has failed him slightly. Val graciously ignores it and glances over at the cleats.

“Aren’t those hilarious? Raf sent those for her a few weeks ago. They were his daughter’s when she was Alice’s size.”

Shawn smiles and tucks his hands into his jacket pockets, rocking back and forth. He’s gazing around, memorizing as casually as possible, when he feels her warmth again. He looks down to see her smirking up at him. He ducks his head and chuckles. There never was any hiding from Val.

“Wanna stay for dinner? I was going to order takeaway.”

He grins at her British -ism and bites into his lower lip, nodding at her fridge. “I can cook if you want.”

Val’s eyebrows lift. Shawn’s laugh is low and gravelly. His voice is still not working quite right. He thinks it’s prolonged exposure to her coming out of nowhere. He doesn’t really mind. She could always understand exactly what he was saying even when he was babbling helplessly, even when he wasn’t speaking at all.

“You can… cook?”

Shawn rolls his eyes and shucks off his jacket, placing it on the back of a barstool at her modest kitchen island.

“I did grow up a little in the last ten years,” he sighs, wandering into her kitchen curiously.

“I noticed.”

Shawn freezes almost comically. His hand is halfway to the fridge handle. He blinks and turns his head slightly to look at her. She’s wearing the smile that’s haunted him for ten years, the one that’s so signature Val -- it’s a dare and a promise all in one. He swallows so hard his throat visibly bobs.

She’s fucking flirting with him. And she doesn’t look like she did it accidentally.

His motor function comes back enough to open the refrigerator and look around, and also hope the cool air will reduce the pink burning in his cheeks. Val busies herself with freeing fussy Alice from the pram, holding her against her hip after shedding all her tiny little layers down to a pair of leggings and a long sleeved tee with the Arsenal FC logo on it.

Shawn studies the contents of the fridge. It doesn’t take long. He looks up at her, frowning disapprovingly.

“You don’t cook,” he says plainly.

Val snorts, which makes Alice wriggle against her chest.

“I don’t cook. Never have, never will. It horrifies my mother, who sends five pounds of frozen homemade empanadas every month packed with dry ice.”

Shawn groans and lets his head loll back. “Fuck, I love your mom’s empanadas.”

A moment later, his head snaps up. His eyes widen. He claps a hand over his mouth.

“I’m so sorry!” The sound is garbled against the skin of his hand. He removes it to Val’s amusement.

“Don’t worry,” Val hums, pressing her nose and lips up against Alice’s patch of dark hair above her little ear, “I swear around her all the fucking time. Don’t I, nina?”

Shawn grins and turns back to the fridge. With a sigh, he unloads a carton of old Waitrose eggs, some wilted spinach and a bag of shiitake mushrooms. He snuggles the ingredients into his arms and nudges the door shut with his foot, glancing at her reproachfully.

“Don’t judge me on this, it won’t be my best work. But I have limited resources.”

Val takes a deep, calming breath, watching him start to sort out a cutting board and a pathetically dull knife at her kitchen counter. Because Shawn Mendes is cooking her dinner.

It’s been a weird six hours.

Val props herself up on a stool, planting Alice in front of her, holding her by the waist so her floppy, energetic baby doesn’t squirm onto the floor. Alice also serves as an excellent shield between herself and the man in her kitchen she can’t stop staring at.

She listens to him chop and crack eggs and melt butter like making dinner for her is some kind of Food Network challenge. She tries to tamp down a goofy smile at the thought. Alice smacks her tiny palm against Val’s lips for her attention. She holds her daughter’s hand and mimes nibbling at her fingers, making Alice squeal with laughter. Val peeks over Alice’s shoulder to see Shawn grinning at a frying pan, expertly flipping an omelette. Val’s stomach flips with it.

“So,” Val coughs, “How’ve you found London so far?”

Shawn slides the omelette sizzling onto a plate and cracks pepper over the top. He slides it over to her with a fork, slinging a dish towel over his shoulder while he gets to work on the second. Val mouths thank you, sealing it with a wink as she lifts the baby into a high chair and pops open a can of mashed carrot and swede from the countertop.

“I love it,” Shawn murmurs, nodding, “I’ve always really liked it here. My mum has family here. I’m over here a lot for work.”

He slides his tongue over his lower lip, making the black enameled ring quiver as he thinks about the comment he left out -- he’s long been considering getting a place here. Many of his favorite producers are based out of London. He and the guys love working out here. Forefront has remained more popular in the UK after the scene faded in the US. It makes sense.

“And… how long are you staying?”

Val hopes the eagerness doesn’t cut too deeply into her voice. If Shawn notices, he’s mercifully cool about it.

“I’m leaving Thursday to go home for the holidays.”

Val’s jaw tightens. She straightens up and stares at Alice, watching as she takes a fist of Val’s hair and shoves it into her mouth instead of the spoon of food Val is offering.

“I’ll be back after New Years to write the new album. Gonna spend a few months here.”

Val’s stomach swoops. She jams the spoon into Alice’s cheek by accident, reaching for her bib to wipe the food away before Alice can protest.

“That’s nice,” Val replies airily.

Shawn plops into the stool next to her with his plate and eyes her as she takes one bite of her food and feeds her daughter with her other hand.

“Ever accidentally mixed up the spoons and eaten baby food by mistake?”

Val barks a laugh. “Happens like, once a week.”

Shawn, Val and Alice eat in comfortable silence. Shawn chews a little slower than usual because he knows he’s probably getting kicked out after dinner and he’s not really ready to let go of this just yet.

This.

What is this?

Shawn shakes the thought before it can sprout in his brain. He’s not going to freak out over this. This is fine. It’s dinner with an old friend and her baby. Nothing weird can happen with a baby around, right?

Val stands and scoops a squirming Alice out of her high chair, walking toward the nursery with a glance over her shoulder.

“I’m gonna get her changed and put her down for the night. Want to open that bottle of wine there?” She nods at a bottle of cabernet and Shawn’s eyes get a little brighter.

“Yeah,” he responds enthusiastically, nodding, “Good night, Alice!”

Val beams and flaps Alice’s little hand at him. “Night night, Shawn!”

When Val emerges twenty minutes later with the baby monitor, Shawn has the dishes cleaned and the wine breathing with two glasses out on the counter while he flips absently through his phone.

“I’m gonna get changed, too,” Val says softly, gesturing down at her leather pants and chewing on the inside of her lip, trying not to read too much into all the different cozy-cute outfit ideas in her head.

Before she can overthink it, she swaps out her urban mom chic look for clingy charcoal leggings and a black camisole with her favorite cable knit cardigan over top. She gives her hair a flip in the mirror and pinches some color into her cheeks.

You know, just because.

When she walks back into the living room, Shawn has the wine poured. She tips her glass against his and murmurs “cheers,” willfully ignoring the way Shawn is trying not to check her out.

They sit at the bar. Shawn watches Val cross her long, slender legs, her bare, black-lacquered toes glinting up at him. He hums a chuckle and sips his wine.

“What?” she giggles.

He nods at her. “You. Your black nail polish. Some things never change, I guess.”

The words feel heavy as soon as they leave him. It swirls around them, all that has changed, all that hasn’t.

It would be easy to look over at Val now and see a stranger. It’s been a full decade. The amount of life experience packed into the ten years between 22 and 32 could have made her an entirely different person. But Shawn’s been watching her, listening to her all day. She’s still Val.

It’s a comfort and a curse, he thinks. It’s not like he hasn’t wondered about her, about how much the years have changed all the things that drew him in. It hurt to think she was changing and he didn’t even know it, couldn’t see it. And now he knows just how… Val she still is.

This night won’t last forever, even if they did just open a nice bottle of wine. He’ll go back to the hotel, he’ll leave London. He’ll be stuck with knowing the woman he loved is still every bit as incredible as he remembers her. Hell, she got better. He can’t believe it, but Val Moreno got better with time.

He shakes his head and pushes a hand through his hair. “Wow,” he mutters.

Val takes a gulp from her glass and nods. “I’m kind of feeling that, too.”

“It’s just…” Shawn hisses, finally cracking with the help of the fine cabernet, “It’s been… ten fucking years.”

Val looks over at him. She’s silent for a few long, slow seconds.

“So tell me about them.”

Shawn looks at her as she stands and reaches for the bottle and her glass, heading for the couch.

“Didn’t we do that all afternoon?” he laughs, standing and ambling after her.

Hey moron, he thinks to himself, Do you really want to give her a reason to make you leave sooner than you have to?

To his relief, Val persists, swinging her legs up to fold beside her and patting the cushions. He settles in and continues sipping from his glass for courage.

“Well,” she starts, looking a bit uncertain as she gazes into her glass, “If your ten years has been anything like mine, you have a list of things you’ve been wanting to tell me, saving up for if we’d ever see each other again.”

Shawn’s fucking fingers tingle. She’s been making a list. For him.

He nods. “Y-yeah. I mean… yeah.”

Val smiles. It’s soft and encouraging. “Ok. I’ll start.”

Shawn’s heart softens its battering ram motion in his chest. He bobs his head.

“I was… so scared when I got pregnant with Alice. God, it was the most frightened I’ve ever been of anything. More scared than when I told Raf I was leaving Streets, even more scared than when I was pregnant with Rafael. Because I felt so ready this time. If she was taken from me… god, I swear to god, I held my breath the entire nine months with her. Even after she was born, I just stared at her. Like if I blinked, that would be it. She’d be gone. I think it’s only in the last six months that I’ve started to fucking relax.”

Shawn’s body surges with affection and protective instincts he barely recognizes. He nods eagerly.

“I think it’s amazing you decided to do it on your own. I mean, I bet you hear that all the time. But…”

“But you know better than most how much of a risk I felt I was taking,” she says softly, leveling him with her gaze.

Shawn is quiet remembering the night she finally released it into him, a flood of words he was too young to hear, to feel, to accept. It was the night they said ‘I love you.’ It was the night he ran.

“Your turn,” Val whispers, refilling their glasses. Shawn drinks eagerly.

“Uhm… I… fuck. The closest I ever came to calling you was six years ago, after Making Midnight. I felt like shit. I think I knew all along it wasn’t right -- none of it. It wasn’t me, it wasn’t us. It was a bad album. I had no business being as pissed as I was that it sucked and everyone hated it. But I was so angry with myself. I just felt powerless. It took me so long to be ok with speaking up and saying when I thought something was wrong. It took me so long to find a way to be a leader. I think that’s the way I’ve changed the most in the last ten years.”

Val watches him thoughtfully. She takes a short sip and shakes her head.

“Maybe that’s one of the ways. I’m not sure it’s the biggest. I think 19-year-old you wouldn’t have lasted through a walk in the park with me and my kid. 29-year-old you held her for over an hour. I think you fell a little bit in love with her.”

She chuckles but she’s not joking. Shawn goes crimson.

“She’s… god, Val, she’s amazing. You’re so lucky. You… you both are.”

Val’s eyes drift shut. She drains her second glass. When she opens her eyes again, Shawn’s warm honeyed eyes are watching her. He doesn’t look scared. He doesn’t look anxious. He looks a little lonely.

Val fills their glasses again. She’s warm enough now to slip out of her cardigan and leave it beside her on the sofa. She watches Shawn watch her toss her hair over her shoulders. He chews on his lip until it’s red and swollen.

“Say it.”

He looks up from his already half empty third glass. He blinks quickly. “What?”

“Say it, whatever it is.”

Her voice is calm and smooth. He swallows.

“I was just… wondering if you’ve been in love in the last ten years.”

Val’s head tilts. “Honestly? I didn’t really try. I didn’t want to be. I just wanted Alice. Even before I was ready for her, though, I wasn’t all that interested in looking around. I guess I figured it would fall into my lap when it was right.”

“Why didn’t you look?” Shawn asks, a little too quickly.

Val notices. She takes a slow, deep breath. Shawn watches it inflate and deflate her chest as his tightens. With a resigned smile, Val reaches out and cups his cheek. Her whole body is warm, humming with alcohol in her veins. Her fingers have him choking down a gasp.

“Do you know what I think is really the most incredible part?” she breathes. He blinks at her again, dumbstruck.

“We were together less than three months. It was Warped Tour. We were… fuck, we were kids. I never expected that I’d be hung up on it after all this time. That years later, I’d be on dates and thinking of you. That I’d be sleeping with other people and still thinking of you. I thought this is something that would fade. When I saw you in the garden today, it felt exactly the same as waking up next to you in my bunk on that stupid tour bus, like it was 2007 all over again.”

Shawn’s eyes have fallen shut. He’s overwhelmed, breathing heavily. He turns his face to nudge his lips against her thumb, leaving a gentle kiss.

“God, I still write songs about you. Like, all the time. I thought I was crazy. Maybe I am. I don’t know. Maybe we both are.”

Val waits a beat, then drags his lips to hers. Her kiss is firm but sweet. Her face softens as soon as his mouth touches hers. His fingers curls into the ends of her hair as he edges closer, carefully, dropping himself headfirst into the kiss because who knows if he’ll get another.

They break apart, panting for air. Val plants her hands on his shoulders and wastes no time hauling herself into his lap.

Shawn whimpers, gasping into her mouth. She feels… perfect. Fuck, he’s on fire. It’s been so long. Her tongue slips against his, she groans into his mouth. Her arms are slung around his neck so all he can see and hear and feel is her. How did he go without this for so long? How did he let her go? How could he leave?

But he knows why he left. He left because he was a kid. It took every ounce of strength and maturity he had to walk away when he let himself realize it. He left for him.

Shawn inhales deeply and scoops his hands around her cheeks, easing her back gently. Val’s eyes are heavy. She’s panting.

“Wait… wait,” he grunts, shaking his head as he breathes heavily, in synch with her, “It can’t be like this this time.”

Val feels his words snapping into place in her head. She looks down at the baby monitor she dropped next to her sweater. She lets her head fall forward as she laughs breathlessly.

“Ok. Add that to the list of things you wouldn’t have done ten years ago.”

Shawn grins and tugs her forward until her head rests against his shoulder and his arms drape around her back.

“You deserve so much better than what I gave you last time,” he says softly. It’s not pained or self-deprecating, it’s simple and honest. “I want it to be real.”

She turns her lips against his neck and sighs. The same scurry of goosebumps she remembers she always left on him marches across his skin.

“Then let’s talk about it in the morning,” Val murmurs. Carefully, she unfolds her body from his, takes his hand, and leads the way to her bedroom.

-----------

Do your part to support the Scene and buy me a Ko-fi (link on main page)!

Taglist: @smallerinfinities @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @grittyisaho @sinplisticshawn @rollingxstone @yslsaint @randi-eve @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire @itrocksmysocks @parkerspicedlatte @embracehappy @peacedolantwins2 @kitykatnumber

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fic #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes drabble #shawn mendes one shot #punk!shawn #warped tour shawn #dad!shawn

178 notes · View notes

shawnies-rihno-blog · 5 years

Text

Avoiding Commitment

A/n: I love this one so much. Its probably gonna be like a mini series. Thank you for reading!!

Also listen to “Girls love Beyoncé” by drake. That what inspired this!!! It sets the mood and all!!!

Where Alisha likes to play around with boys, Shawn is one of them. Both of them avoiding commitment. Though he gets intrigued by her and ends up asking her to stop ‘playing around.’ She does, but this time Shawn ends up playing her.

WC: 1.6k

Warnings: Cussing, talking about sex??

Enjoy!!

Alisha had Shawn wrapped around her finger. It was supposed to be a one time thing, meet at a bar in Toronto, spend the night together, and then forget the other existed. Alisha was used to boys like Shawn, who got clingy, but Shawn knew he wasn’t one of those boys. He was a man, he was never the one to be hung up on a one night stand.

Whenever Shawn was in town, he always saw Alisha at the bar, around other men. Well boys. Shawn wasn’t jealous, he was just curious, he wanted to know why everyone got so hung up on her. Did she mix something in their drink? He couldn’t stop thinking about her, it wasn’t sex, it was something else about her -not that the sex was bad.

One night he took her back to his apartment, again. The sex was amazing, but he had amazing sex before. Sure Alisha was mind blowing, but Shawn couldn’t pinpoint what was mind blowing about her, her body or her personality.

That night though, he got her number. For casual fucks whenever he was in town. Shawn knew it was just for casual fucks, he was too busy for commitment. No actually, he was scared of getting fucked over by a girl like Alisha, he knew he was playing with fire but for some reason he couldn’t stop.

Alisha on the other hand didn’t even think about him that much, he was just another pretty, rich, fuckboy looking -but too soft to be one, boy. A boy, definitely not a man. Alisha had her fair share of men, Shawn wasn’t one. All the guys she was “with” were boys. None of them had half the guts to be a man.

Alisha gave up on the whole relationship thing a long time ago, she wasn’t as bad as she looked, she just played around now. Committing had fucked her up many times, after her last relationship she gave up on ‘commitment’ so she thought it would be better to have her play toys. Some would call her a whore, but she couldn’t care less, those people were stuck in their captivity of negativity.

Alisha was heavily making out with a guy that took her home, she knew it wasn’t going to be more than making out, he wasn’t enough for her. She knows she’s being cocky, but she wasn’t going to give herself up that easily. Her phone starts ringing, she pulls away trying to answer her phone, but the guy is too desperate and starts kissing her again. She pulls away again when her phone started ringing again. The guy now leaving sloppy kisses down her neck. She pulls her phone out of her butt pocket. Pretty Boy.

She’s confused for a second, who the hell could be pretty boy? Oh. She answers.

“Hi.” He exhales.

“Why’d you call?”

“I wanted to talk to you.” He replies with a shaky voice.

Alisha gets up from that guy’s lap. She forgot his name. Oops.

“I jus-” Shawn stops talking when he hears another man’s voice in the background.

“Why are you leaving?” She hears the guy growl, she grabs her bag and leaves, accidentally slamming the door. She winces for a second, forgetting about the pretty boy on the other end, until she hears shuffling.

“So you called?”

“Oh yea… I accidentally dialed your number. M’sorry.”

Alisha pulls away the phone from her ear, rolling her eyes at him.

“Does he think I’m some kind of fucking idiot!” Shawn hears her say, and then the line cuts.

Shawn sighs and tries sleeping on the bus. He doesn’t sleep all night though, he blames it on the shitty roads, even though that was far from the truth. He knew that. Good thing he didn’t have a show the next day.

For the first time Alisha actually spent the night thinking about a boy -after a very long time anyways. Why would he call anyway? So I could help him jerk off?, She thought. It wasn’t normal for her to think about boys. -At least the ones she was fucking.

It’s 2 am when she decides to call Shawn, asking him why he really called. It was cliche and very unlike her, but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to know why. Though, she would be a little disappointed if he called her so she can just help him jerk off.

She is about to end the call after 3 rings, already regretting the call, but he picks up.

“...Hey?” He questions.

“I- uh-” She stops herself from speaking when she hears a voice in the background. A voice that belonged to a girl. Well, she was right, he probably found a girl to help him out.

“You called?” Shawn questions again.

“Well technically you called me first, i’m just calling back.” She states.

“Well isn’t it awfully late to call back?” Shawn says harshly. “It’s been about 4 hours, since I last called,” he continues.

“Well I-” She’s cut off.

“Are you done with that guy you went home with, and now you’re bored, so you decided to call me.” Shawn says bitterly.

“What? I just called cus’ you called me and it seemed like you had something to say. So I thought why not call you back.” She’s truly confused.

“Oh so you didn’t call me, cus’ you were awfully bored, and thought why not call your toy. You couldn’t even say my name in front of that dude,” he continues.

“What the hell is your problem? I called you because I genuinely wanted to know why you called. Plus you thinking I would call you cus’ I’m bored, you are so fuckin’ wrong. I would never call a rookie to entertain me. I have better options. Much better options.”

She couldn’t care if she offended him, he went there in the first place. He practically begged to be her toy, and then he decided to add his number on her phone. What a hypocritical rich boy.

She ends the call, and goes to bed. She wishes she was in her fiance’s arms right now. The only guy who actually understood her. She meant her dead fiance. She hadn’t thought about him in awhile, well no, she thought about him everyday, correction, she hadn’t begged that she died in that car crash instead of him, in a very very long time.

---

She woke up in the morning with puffy eyes, good thing it was the weekend. She didn’t have work. She headed to the bathroom, before checking her phone, it was a habit, for which her fiance always bothered her for. But she always told him bad breath makes her want to puke. He only knew that.

She headed to the kitchen and fried herself some eggs with bacon. After finishing up her breakfast and catching up on the news, she put her dishes in the dishwasher and headed to go take a shower.

When she got out, after moisturizing herself and doing all the other stuff girls do, she grabbed her phone to see a text from Pretty boy.

Pretty boy: Look i’m sorry, i shouldntve said that but it still doesn’t change the fact that i feel like your play toy. And u just use me when u need too.

First of all, what the fuck is ‘shouldntve,’ Did he not graduate highschool? What a hypocrite. He uses me and then says I use him???

Pretty boy: Also i am good! Infact im amazing! You just dont know what amazing feels like!!!! I’m a pro not a rookie.

She snorts at his second text. He really said that. He wasn’t bad, she just said that to make him feel horrible, and she guesses she succeeded.

She replies with a “K,” and not long after her reply, her phone starts ringing. She picks up already knowing who it is.

“How dare you not reply to me all night, and then reply with a k?!” Pretty boy exclaims on the other end.

“Oh what can I say? I guess I was too busy fucking a guy last night, and then this morning another one came over, so I had to reply to u quickly cus’ I had to go suck him off.” She says rolling her eyes.

“Oh.”

“Okay well I’m gonna go now, cus’ another one is coming. I’m gonna suck him off too. Y’know me and my whorey ways have to be prepared.”

“What’s your problem?”

She laughs, it isn’t a chuckle, it’s a laugh, it’s loud and it lasts about 15 seconds. Shawn truly confused on the other end, not knowing what he did to make her laugh that hard. He couldn’t lie to himself though, she had a cute laugh.

“Can I ask you the same question?” she says genuinely.

He ignores her and says, “You think you’re so great right? Well don’t sleep with anyone else until I come back to Toronto.”

“So you wanna dictate me now too?” she questions jokingly.

“I’m serious, don’t sleep with other men. You think you are some next Angelina Jolie, so let's see if you can even go without sleeping around for like 2 weeks.”

“Oh pretty boy, I don’t think i’m Angelina Jolie, cus’ I’m Alisha Bianchi, and there’s only one of me.”

“What boy?”

“I’ll prove you wrong, but I need something in return.”

“You have me, you don’t need anything else.”

“Oh really, well then i better memorize your name, cus’ i don’t know it yet.”

Oh was he offended. He just wanted to smack her on the face -well preferably her ass. He would never say that out loud. It was wrong, but she was pissing him off, alot.

“It’s Shawn.”

“Oh right. Now i remember. Well then, Shawn, you better be ready for this ride, cus’ you just signed up for hell.” She chimes.

-----

Even though alot of you wanted Ready for Me, i ended up writting this, cuz i was listening to my homeboy Drake’s new album and this just clicked. Anyways I hope you liked it. I cant wait to write part 2 like literally. If you wanna request keep requesting. I also am working on a kind of smutty request. Its actually hilarious. I can’t wait to share it with you!!! THANK YOUUUU for reading and liking it!! x

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes masterlist #fanfiction

70 notes · View notes

f-l-writes · 6 years

Text

Reignited

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 6531

Hope you enjoy and feel free to request

Note: I had enjoyed working on this one so I hope you guys enjoy. Also, as a random fact, I love Bang Chan with my heart and soul lol.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Shawn. You can’t just bail on me the last second!” you snapped at him, doing your best to keep your voice down as you looked at the German-American man, arms crossed over your chest and your eyes narrowed at him angrily as you spoke.

He had decided that, on the night of a very important gig, he was going to back out on you. The night that the two of you planned on going up to play for a live and full house instead of just passing discs to the managers to play throughout the night, he bailed on you.

“Y/N, you know my girlfriend comes first. She got hurt today while at work and I need to be there to take care of her,” he said, keeping his tone as level as possible.

As you tried to keep your breathing under control and tried to keep yourself from getting too worked up, you began to scratch at the back of your hand. It was a habit of sorts. It happened usually whenever you were getting anxious or over emotional about things but you found that it helped keep you level despite the pain that sometimes came with it.

“Fine. I’ll play alone. I’m not losing this opportunity to get my name out there because of your girlfriend,” you ground out, venom dripping from every word.

“You never used to be so horrible,” Shawn observed, crossing his arms.

“Because I’ve been letting you slide on missing the last three fucking shows and having to disappoint a crowd! I’m done fucking waiting for you, Shawn! I’m done waiting on your needy little fucking girlfriend!” you shouted this time, now using your hands as motion gestures to get your anger across if your voice wasn’t doing it.

“You know what, fuck off. I’m done playing around with this shit. We’re not going to get big. We’re gonna be stuck doing fucking bar gigs and underground clubs. I’m done with this. I can handle you insulting me, but you’re not gonna talk about my girlfriend like that,” he responded, his own anger seeping into his voice.

“Wouldn’t have to if it wasn’t the truth, Madej. She’s a clingy little-”

“Y/N, you should take a step out from back here for now. Go outside, get some air and calm down before things escalate. Shawn, I think it’s time for you to go. They’ll find someone to replace you,” the bar owner interrupted, hoping that the two wouldn’t have a run in outside.

With that, the two went through two separate exits; Shawn through the back one and you walking out into the main part of the bar you were in and stepping outside. You leaned against the brick wall next to the door of the bar, setting your head against the cool stone and closing your eyes.

“Fucking bastard couldn’t take just one night to let us try,” you muttered to yourself as you decided to take a seat on the cement and watch the cars that flew by, almost in blurs. Just as you were about to get up, someone exited the bar and walked over to where you were, looking down at your still seated form. The unknown man extended his hand to which you took in your own and were hauled to your feet.

“I heard about the argument between you and your bandmate… If you want, I could help you?”

“It would take too long-”

“I already know all your stuff. I’ve seen your stuff on YouTube and I’ve practiced it for the fun of doing it. I also know all the songs- including covers- that you’ll be doing tonight,” he responded.

“So you saw the announcement on our channel about that too, huh?” you stated with a chuckle, looking up at the slightly taller man with a smirk settling over your lips as he looked away somewhat shyly and nodded.

“I’ll tell you what, we’ll get you set up with a guitar to see if you’ve practiced as much as you say you have, do a quick vocal session to see how your voice fits with our… my songs and then do a once over for the covers we’re doing. While we’re at it, tell me a bit about yourself,” you finished, walking around him to head back inside, the man staying close behind as you made your way back to the backstage area.

Motioning for him to sit, you grabbed the guitar that Shawn had, thankfully, left behind in his fit of annoyance and anger. Passing it to him, you instructed him to play one of your most recent songs, Guidance. Immediately, he set to making sure the guitar was tuned properly before he began to play the instrument expertly. You were amazed that he had already mastered the song considering you had only released the video for it four days prior to the gig. Not only was he playing the guitar, he sang along as well, his words flowing perfectly.

The man had a velvety voice and you were almost upset at the fact that you hadn’t found him sooner. Maybe he could be your Shawn replacement? God, you wanted him to be the replacement so bad. His voice was perfect, beautiful and all you wanted in a musical partner. Shawn’s voice had been nice, but it had been nowhere near as nice as this Australian-accented mystery man.

You hadn’t realized when the song came to an end until the man spoke, causing you to jump slightly. “Was that alright?” he questioned, some tone of worry hidden in his voice.

“Yeah. It was amazing! Perfect, really. But what about some of the covers we’ll be doing? Anywhere But Here, Heavy, Feel Like Home? How do you think your voice will fare with those?”

“For Heavy and Feel Like Home, I think I’ll do alright. I don’t have as gruff of a voice as Ivan Moody so I’ll do the best I can for Anywhere But Here. The rest of the ones you mentioned on YouTube I can do as well,” he notified, watching as your lips relaxed from a tight line to a smile.

“Well, as long as you do your best then it doesn’t really matter. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself before the show starts?”

“My name is Chris Bang,” he began, “but my stage name, which is also my Korean name, is Bang Chan. I lived in Australia until I was thirteen to which I went to an audition for an entertainment company called JYP. Went into training for seven years and just recently debuted with a group called Stray Kids,” he explained the basics of his life and you slowly nodded as you listened to him talk.

“Man, and I was looking forward to bringing you on as my new guitarist,” you stated somewhat jokingly, watching as the man chuckled a bit.

“Ah, my bad. I really wish I could but I have a group to look after.” he seemed almost guilty about it and you quickly put a rest to that.

“I was just playing around, don’t worry about it! You’ve got a group of people that, I’m assuming, you need to lead and you don’t need a side thing to worry about. But how often do you show up here? Just so I know what days I need to play for you,” you cheekily winked at the man, causing him to let out a laugh as he set the guitar down.

“If you must know, I show up every other Saturday if I don’t have practice or a schedule that day,” he admitted, setting his hands on his thighs as he leaned forward, his innocent yet tired looking eyes staring into your own.

“I’ll keep that in mind then, Chris,” you responded with a smile, looking up as the bar owner stepped backstage.

“Knew you’d find someone,” the man stated, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked between you and Chris.

“Yeah. Not hard when you have a fan who approaches you on the street and happens to be in an idol group themselves,” you responded, standing up as you took ahold of your own instrument, a bass guitar, and quickly tuned it. “How much longer until you announce the live show?” you turned to the owner, eyes showing your obvious curiosity.

“As soon as the bartender can break up a fight that broke out. Once that’s taken care of, I’ll introduce you two and you can carry on as you will,” the man responded, his eyes flickering over to Chris and chuckling at the amazingly contrast difference between your apparel and Chris’.

Chris had on a white button up dress shirt that was rolled up to his elbow and black slacks, followed by black dress shoes. He had a few rings on and two black earrings, but otherwise nothing. He had no visible tattoos and no other piercings. In other words, he looked like he just got off of his office job and wanted to have a drink or two but ended up getting wrapped up in your mess.

On your end, you wore a plain black tee under a leather jacket and had on extremely distressed black skinny jeans, ending in black men’s combat boots. Your fingers were decorated with rings and you had in double zero, solid black gauges. Under the jacket, you sported a fair amount of tattoos and the same was said for under your jeans. All in all, you sported the typical “rocker” style look.

To the owner of the bar, it was amusing to see someone who looked like he got pulled up out of his comfortable spot in the crowd to participate alongside someone who looked like they could break someone in half with nothing but a kick. Shaking his head, the man peered out, letting out a satisfied grunt when he noticed there was no longer a fight.

“Get ready. You’re about to go up,” he said with a grin as he turned, stepping out onto the stage and taking the mic that was set up. “Thank you, everyone, for joining us tonight. If you couldn’t tell by the posters posted around the bar we’ll be having a small rock duo, by the name of Northern Star, playing tonight. Enjoy,” with that, the man walked back to where you and Chris were standing, waiting to perform. Once the owner of the bar walked back in, you and Chris walked out, introduced yourselves separately before you started up, the backing tracks you needed to cover the drum where it was absent playing alongside you and Chris.

When the night finally ended, you and Chris thanked the crowd for sticking around to listen for the last two hours before you directed them to a donation jar near the end of the stage. Once everyone was done, you collected it, thanked them again, and headed backstage once more, Chris following behind you.

Once the both of you were settled back and you were packing up your bass and Shawn’s guitar, you turned to Chris. “Thanks for tonight, Chris. I appreciate it a lot. You said your group’s name is Stray Kids, right?”

“Yep!”

“I’ll check you guys out when I get home then. I look forward to hearing your stuff,” you smiled at the man as you picked up the cases that you had to carry out to your car. Just before you were able to turn away, Chris stopped you, grabbing the case that had Shawn’s guitar in it.

“Let me help you. I need to ask for something once we get outside anyway,” he said with a sly smirk on his face before he began to walk off towards the back entrance, forcing you to follow behind him.

Once you had made it to your car and loaded in the guitars, Chris spoke up, his breath visible in the quickly cooling night. “I was wondering if I could have your number? Or at least KaKao account. I want to keep in touch. You seem like a cool person and I want to let you know the days I’ll be showing up to hear you perform,” he said with a chuckle.

With as cute and caring as he seemed to be, you couldn’t say no. Taking your phone out, you went to your contacts and opened up “Create New Contact” before passing the phone to him. When he passed the phone back, you texted it quickly to ensure he gave you the right number. He chuckled when he read the message, responding out loud.

“Thanks, I got them from the President. Anyways, I get the feeling I’ll see you around… I never got your name…”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you responded, leaning against the side of the car and taking Chris in as he changed your name in his phone.

His hair was somewhat curly, frizzed up slightly from the humidity of the day. His had dark, almost black eyes and skin that almost anyone would die for. He had a somewhat broad bridge and nose that was outlined by smile lines, something visible as he smiled at you once he put his phone away. He had dimples on his cheeks and nice lips, the top one being slightly fuller than the bottom and looking somewhat heart-shaped. His skin was fairly tanned, but it only added to his overall beauty.

In your quest to examine the male to perfection, you hadn’t quite realized you were staring until he spoke, his voice holding a slight lilt to it as he chuckled while speaking. “I hope you like what you see. You’ll have to be dealing with it if you decide to watch my groups stuff,” he teased, watching as you rolled your eyes.

“Alright, hot shot, I’m sure I could pick out a few other cuties,” you joked, watching as he held a hand to the base of his throat in a mock hurt. You chuckled once more, shaking your head.

“I’ll see you sometime again, Y/N, I can promise you that,” he said, waving goodbye to you as he walked away.

You watched him go, a smile on your face before you got in your car and made your way home, glad for once that Shawn bailed on you. While you knew you would be struggling as a one-man show, you also knew you always had a backup in your brother, the older male always willing to help you out with your career option since it was one he had never really pushed towards despite wanting to.

As soon as you stepped into your home and dropped on the couch, you pulled up your brother’s contact after clearing the messages from Shawn and Chris, before hitting the call button. Once he picked up, you began to speak.

“Hey, Y/B/N, I need your help.”

“Oh god,” he responded, “what is it?”

“Well… Shawn quit on me after an argument tonight and I need the second best guitarist I know.” even though he couldn’t see you, you were smiling.

“Second best? You always said I was better than Shawn!”

“You are, but I met a guy tonight named Chris and he’s amazing. Like wow. Kinda hot too,” you said, chuckling a bit.

“Why don’t you ask him?” your brother wasn’t hurt, you could tell, he was just genuinely curious.

“He’s part of a busy K-Pop group so he wouldn’t be reliable as a guitarist. You, on the other hand, would be,” you finished, hoping he would respond positively.

“Alright, fine. When’s your next show?” your brother questioned before you began to thank him profusely.

“It’s next Saturday at nine, so please don’t be late. I don’t need you to pull a Shawn,” you stated, a slight smile on your lips.

“Sounds good to me, Y/N. I’ll see you Saturday then.” with that, your brother hung up the call, leaving you to get back to your messages. First, you decided to get back to Chris, the male asking if you had watched any videos yet.

Not yet. I will after I get done ranting to Shawn though lol.

Once the message was sent, you went into Shawn’s messages, looking through the various messages he had left you. Most were about “his” guitar before he descended into name-calling, and stated that you were a “bitch who had no care for other personal lives”. To everything, you responded in as short of a message as you could.

Sorry to hear you didn’t enjoy working with me. Unfortunately, I didn’t care about your personal life and clingy girlfriend because she was causing you to miss shows that we could have been making money off of. In fact, you costed us about $600 dollars worth of shows. That being said, the guitar isn’t yours. I bought it for you because you didn’t have one and now it’s my compensation for your missed shows. Finally, I got my brother to agree to continue on with me so, for me, seeing you gone is good riddance. Have a nice life being controlled by your girlfriend, Shawn.

Not bothering to hear his calls or complaints, you blocked his number, all his social media, and removed him from your bio on Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. When you were positive he was almost completely erased as someone you had associated with, you went on to YouTube, deciding to look up “Stray Kids” like you had promised Chris.

When you noticed the sun beginning to rise from outside your living room window, you swore slightly as you hopped up, rushing to your kitchen to make yourself some coffee. While you didn’t have to be to work until twelve, you wanted to have your time to get ready and then relax. Whilst in the middle of making coffee, you texted Chris.

I haven’t slept all night because of your guys’ videos. Thanks, Chris lol

There was an immediate response, which somewhat surprised you as you knew idols were insanely busy most of the time, making you wonder if he was actually doing anything that day.

Sorry lol. Hope you didn’t have anything planned for today~

You chuckled a bit at his response, rolling your eyes as a smile lit up your face. You chose not to respond right away, your coffee becoming priority before you did so. As soon as you made the coffee to perfection, however, you messaged him back.

Only work in 5 and a half hours.

Day gig?

More like a barista at a coffee place. If only I could be a full-time musician…

There wasn’t a response for another ten minutes, allowing you to eat half of a breakfast sandwich and drink a quarter of your coffee. When you saw his message though, you almost choked on your coffee.

Why don’t you audition for an entertainment company? I’m sure FNC or someone similar would accept you. You’re obviously talented, you have a fair fanbase already on YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter, and they probably wouldn’t take long to debut you. Two or three years at most, I bet.

Was he being serious? You couldn’t see yourself becoming a musician under any sort of actual record label. It seemed so many years off for you that it almost made you frown. You weren’t jealous of Chris in the slightest. You knew that he had been in training for seven years, dealt with the pain of seeing his friends debut and then having to see two kicked from the show before being brought back.

You knew this, but this isn’t what made your heart ache. It was the fact that you felt like you wouldn’t be able to make it. That even if you tried one thousand times, you’d be rejected. You didn’t feel good enough. You felt inferior. Despite having talent, you felt like you had nothing to show off. You didn’t feel charismatic enough or beautiful enough. You weren’t anything special so you couldn’t understand why someone as amazing as Chris would tell you to try and audition.

Shaking your head, you responded, trying to seem like you were feeling light-hearted now.

Yeah, sure thing, Kangaroo lol.

There wasn’t another response the rest of the morning, unlike what you had been hoping for. Instead, however, you did spot a nine-manned troupe walk through the doors of the cafe you worked at and immediately recognized them as Stray Kids. Sure, you had become a slight fan over the night but it’s not like it was completely one-sided. After all, Chris claimed to be a fan of yours the night prior.

You smiled when you saw Hyun Jin walk up to the counter to order the drinks for his group. You punched everything into the machine as he spoke, your eyes continuously flickering over to Chris as he laughed and joked with his friends and group mates.

Once everything was put in, you gave him a number for when his drinks were up. Thankfully, Chris had ordered the one strongest thing on the menu that the others hadn’t and you had been tasked with labeling the drinks. Once you got to Chris’, you decided to add a little note beneath his name. Nice to see you here, Mr. Bang. You smiled as you finished writing it, setting the cup on the tray before calling the number.

This time, instead of Hyun Jin coming up, it was Felix. You gave the Australian male a smile and a “have a nice day, sir” before you went back to taking care of the other customers. By the time the line was finally cleared, you had noticed that Chris finally noticed the note on his cup after it had been pointed out by one of the other members.

You watched as he glanced at it, chuckling before excusing himself and heading over, speaking with a smirk on his face and a laugh buried deep in his throat. “I think you gave the wrong order, Y/N,” he stated, his eyes glittering with amusement as he looked at you.

“Oh no, did I? Would you like me to hand make you a new drink?”

“Instead of that, why don’t we hang out this weekend? I have Saturday and Sunday off from schedules and we can hang out. If you have a gig this Saturday, we can do whatever you want after that.” his words didn’t hint at anything more than just two acquaintances getting to know one another better and, honestly, it didn’t seem to be that bad of an idea.

“Alright, I’ll have to take you up on that, Chris. This Saturday, after my gig, why don’t we go take a walk by the river?”

Just before he could answer, one of your co-workers called you over to help him out. Waving bye to the Australian male, you quickly moved over to where your co-worker was, helping with a failing machine. You watched from the corner of your eye as Chris moved back to where his group mates were waiting for him. Once they had begun to joke around, it wasn’t much longer until you heard their loud laughter fill the fair sized shop, disturbing the other patrons with their joy.

By the time Saturday came, you were jittery about the night that awaited you after the gig. Thankfully, your brother didn’t bail on you like Shawn would have, but he arrived only three minutes before the show started, giving the two of you no time to do a quick run-over of things.

One thing that also contributed to you being happy about your brother being there was that he helped you in the creation process of your songs. Often times, he was the one who would call you in the middle of the night (when you were more than likely working on a new melody), saying that he had come up with the absolute best ideas for lyrics. This, of course, would prompt your brother to come over at two twenty in the morning so the two of you could work on a song.

Once your brother had finally entered the backstage area, you quickly glanced over his attire, giving a nod of approvement once you had done so. Soon enough, your brother and you took the stage and began the show. During this particular show, you revealed a new song. It didn't resemble your other songs in the slightest. It had an upbeat, slow and calm melody and sounded more along the lines of a ballad. When you had begun to sing this particular song, a murmur rippled throughout the crowd that had been actively paying attention.

Even while in the midst of the song, you could tell there were mixed opinions on the song from I thought they were supposed to be a rock musician? to it's nice to see something that differs from their heavy sound. You, however, kept up the smile that planted itself on your face as your eyes skimmed the crowd, easily picking out the man that you would be ditching your brother for.

When the show finally came to an end, you quickly cased your guitar before heading out, meeting Chris by the door, the two of you walking out to his car. Once he popped the trunk, you slipped your guitar in and closed the trunk before circling the car and settling into the passenger seat.

“Thanks for doing this, Chris,” you said, looking over at him as he got himself situated in the driver’s seat.

“It’s no problem, Y/N. I think we both need some time to unwind. You’re working double as a barista and a musician and I’ve got my own problems dealing with my group,” he stated, not seeing you nod as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Still, it’s nice to just...not be worried about how the show went overall and whether or not the next one is gonna have to be canceled…” you responded, turning your head away from the man as you looked out the window.

Your eyes flickered from one lit up building to the next, watching as they flashed by in a blur along with the cars that drove alongside you and Chris. You found yourself wondering about other people’s lives. Were they struggling to make ends meet? Or were they living comfortably in an upscale apartment without a worry in the world?

Your mind then drifted to Chris. What was his life like now? What was it like before he joined JYP? What did he have to go through to get to where he is now? You knew nothing of the idol life and had no idea how difficult it could possibly be and, for once, you found yourself wanting to know.

Sure, it’s easy to make a slight name for yourself through being a self-taught musician with some alright songs, but when it comes down to it, you’re not professionally trained like Chris was. You knew what you needed to know and while you often pushed your boundaries with teaching yourself, it wasn’t the way idols pushed themselves, staying up two or three days in a row to perfect a dance or staying up until the sun began to rise to record and perfect melodies.

You found yourself thinking about these things, tuning out the world around you as you did so. You didn’t even realize Chris had said anything to you until you felt a tap on your shoulder, the man pulling you back to reality.

“We’re here,” he said with a small smile settling over his lips and giving just the tiniest tease to his dimples.

It was a smile that, even if only a hint of it was there, if it was genuine it could light up his whole face. It gave him a look that reminded you of the days when you were a child, the light of that curiosity about everything giving you that air of innocence. Of course, with time, came the reality and toughening of that light. Between school and being in the face of life, that curious flame became dull, almost snuffed out completely. But, as you looked back to Chris and saw that once familiar light, it reignited a spark in you. It made you crave that curiosity and innocence of life again. It made you want to ask him questions about all the things he knew and experienced and it made you want to experience something new.

“Thanks again for all of this, Chris,” you let out slowly as you stepped out of the car, forever grateful about the few hours the two of you would be able to spend together. You weren’t sure why, but over the week that the two of you had been talking, you had wanted nothing more than to meet in person again to hang out. You found such interest in Chris and you were craving to know what he knew. To understand how he felt about anything and everything. You craved that knowledge like a child might crave the knowledge to learn how to read to prove themselves. You wanted to be someone who Chris could talk to if he didn’t feel he could tell his members something.

“You keep thanking me,” he said as the two of you walked over to the bank of the river, walking along the side of it. “I don’t understand why. All I’m doing is taking you out for a few hours of relaxation before we jump back into our busy life schedules,” he stated, looking over at you. His face held no trace of a smile now and, instead, seemed to be rather analytical as he studied you.

You felt almost exposed underneath his gaze, but you mustered up the courage to speak through the sudden timidness. “I don’t often have people who take interest in hanging out with me. More often than not, people avoid me. Too scared to come up and speak to me because of the generally bad rep that rockers get. Along with that, I wouldn’t expect it from you of all people. Not when you have thousands upon thousands of fans and at least one hundred fansites that could catch you with me and make up a rumor. If we’re being honest here, you’re taking a risk to be hanging out right now because what if one of your fans saw us? Posted it online and spread a rumor? You know how words get twisted out there. I don’t want to be the reason you get into such a scandal so early in your career,” you finished, letting your eyes drift away from Chris to settle on the water the two of you walked along.

Chris nodded silently as the two of you continued to walk before he suddenly stopped and plopped down in the grass. He patted the spot beside him, that beautiful smile lighting up his face once more. He looked almost ethereal in the moonlight, the full moon casting a gentle silver glow over his already beautiful features. As you sat beside him, you began to notice the slight imperfections in his skin. A few acne scars here, a forming whitehead there.

Nonetheless, it proved to you something. It proved that he was human. The stories he would tell throughout the night would only prove that further, allowing you to lift the veil that had previously been settled over your eyes by the fans who wanted to make their idols out to be perfect. Who wanted to make them seem like angels without problems.

You could understand wanting to put up that facade for people coming into the fandom, but you believed it was better for them to see the imperfections. To see that you don’t need to worry about the blemishes that decorate the skin or the scars that may be littered all over from childhood accidents. That it was normal and that things happen. That no matter what, no one was perfect. Not even the seemingly perfect idols.

“Hey, Chris?” you questioned, looking over at him after the silence had consumed the two of you.

He hummed in response, glancing over at you with one brow lifted slightly, eyes silently urging you to ask or say what you wanted. For a second, you hesitated before carrying on with what you decided to ask.

“Can you tell me more about yourself? You don’t have to share your whole life story, I just want to know more about you. Whatever you’re comfortable with sharing.”

He smiled widely at you before nodded and leaning back, propping himself up with his elbows before he began to talk, his eyes following you as you laid down on your side, getting yourself comfortable on your elbow, face rested in the palm of your hand.

“I’m from Sydney, Australia,” he began, his eyes glazing over now as he let the past come to the surface and spew from his mouth. For the next two hours, the two of you got to know one another almost inside and out. Within a week that consisted of three face-to-face meetings and a lot of texting, the two of you had pretty much become best friends.

Three months had passed since you first started talking to Chris. The two of you spent every off-day together and you had gotten the chance to grow close to his members. Within those three months, you had also gotten gig-casted by an entertainment company called FNC. Based on your research, they had their fair share of K-Rock groups and you hoped you’d be able to fit in nicely once everything was said and done.

Once you had revealed the news to Chris, he had insisted that he and the boys take you out for a celebratory dinner. Of course, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity and ended up having a blast with the boys as they congratulated you on passing the auditions to get into FNC.

Chris had done his best to explain the ins and outs and pros and cons to the whole contracted music production stuff and, while you understood for the most part, there were still things you didn’t understand but would soon figure out. Chris had warned that you could spend up to seven or eight years as a trainee, but he had also reassured you that, due to your age and self-done practice, you would probably only be a trainee for about a year or two. If FNC really wanted to push it, then maybe they would keep you in for three.

Once the talk about the more stressful bits to being an “idol” were done and over with, it was back to the celebrating. It had been a fun night where those older than nineteen had a bit to drink and those younger sat back and watched their friends slowly lose the ability to speak straight.

Come the following week, marking the first day off of practice that you got since you joined FNC, Chris had wanted to meet you by the river. Of course, you agreed to the meeting, wanting to see him at least once before he went on tour and you got back to training for debut.

“Hey!” you said happily, jogging over to him as you spotted him staring out at the glistening water, the sun reflecting back on your eyes and almost making it seem like diamonds littered the top of the water.

Stopping by his side, you linked your arm with his, only to notice the small, black box he held in his hand. He slipped his arm out from yours before turning to you and opening the box. Inside, there was a ring. It wasn’t anything special, really. It was a gunmetal gray band that had an alternating pattern of stones.

The first was an extremely bright blue stone that he had revealed to be paraiba tourmaline stones, the tourmaline being one of the stones for the birth month of October. The second had been your own birthstone. From his pocket, he produced a sterling silver chain before pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto the chain. You found it amusing that he was making a show out of the whole ordeal, but you couldn’t say you minded. It was a sweet thought and you knew you’d probably keep the necklace and chain for ages to come. Hell, you’d probably end up being buried in the jewelry.

“Turn around,” he stated as he suppressed a smile, watching as you did so before reaching around to secure the ring and chain around your neck. Once he had clasped the chain, you turned back to face him before pulling him into a tight hug. He held you close, not wanting to let go, though you unfortunately had to after a few moments.

“Thank you so much, Chris… I appreciate it so much,” you said, your eyes glittering in happiness as you lifted the chain to examine the ring that had settled on your chest, crookedly clinging just to the right of your heart. On the inside, you noticed an engraving. Twisting the ring slightly on the chain, you noticed that it was your and Chris’ initials followed by “Forever with you!”

“You’re seriously the most amazing man I’ve ever met,” you cooed at him, your eyes lifting to look at him as the ring settled back down on your chest atop your shirt. “I swear, I didn’t do anything in my life to deserve a friend like you and yet, here you are,” you continued, a small smile of disbelief settling on your lips. “All because of the one day that my ex-friend decided to bail on me for his girlfriend…” you shook your head.

“Well, I for one am happy that we met. You’ve proven to be the absolute greatest person I’ve ever met. You’re funny and charming. Charismatic. Beautiful. You’ve made my heart stop in 101 different ways and more. I’ve been contemplating on saying this for the last couple of weeks, but I want to be with you as more than a friend. I want to be your boyfriend. We can be like shadows. No one has to know but us. If the time comes five, ten years down the line, then we can reveal ourselves. Until then, I just need you at my side and my group behind me and I will be unstoppable. I can be your Superman and you can be my Lois Lane.”

“Oh my god, you’re so cheesy,” you chuckled, smiling at the beautiful, brown-eyed man. “But I’ll take you up on that offer so long as no one else finds out,” you agreed, the biggest smile on your face. Finally, the flame of that childhood innocence and happiness reignited itself in full and you knew the only one who could ever snuff that flame again now was the man who had lit the wick of your soul.

37 notes · View notes

infiniteshawn · 6 years

Text

House of Boys | College!Shawn AU | Part 12

some fluff and mostly dialogue

You woke up to a very large, very sleepy boy wrapped around you. God, was he ever clingy. His arm had you in a death-grip and his legs locked yours in place, preventing you from any form of movement. You put your hand over Shawn’s, patting his swallow tattoo and trying to turn around to face him.

“Shawn,” you whispered, attempting to twist a bit in his hold.

“Mmmmm?” he mumbled into your neck, half asleep.

“Shawn, get up!” you whispered, successfully turning around and nuzzling into his chest. Tilting your head up, you were greeted by two chocolate-brown eyes opening up and meeting your gaze. A lazy smile graced Shawn’s face as he remembered the events of last night.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled, squeezing you a little tighter against his bare body.

“Morning, Shawn,” you said, inching up a bit to plant a little peck on his grin, “We gotta get up.”

“No, we don’t,” he said, closing his eyes and covering his yawn with his hand.

“Shawn, as much as you don’t wanna face them, we have to get up,” your stomach was in a knot, realizing that all the guys had heard what was going on in your room last night. Hiding out all day would only make the situation worse.

He let go of you, rolling out of bed and reaching for his underwear. He stood to put them on, giving you a full view of his muscular back and cute little butt above his thick thighs. You pulled on some sweats and headed downstairs, followed by the clingy teddy bear that was now your sort-of boyfriend. Luckily, no one was awake yet, so you and Shawn had a little while to think about what you were going to say.

“Why don’t we just tell them the truth?” you asked, confused by Shawn’s keenness to make up excuses.

“Babe, you don’t understand. I’ve been pining after you forever. They’re gonna make jokes, they’re gonna roast me, fuck, they might even roast you. I don’t need that,” he said, popping some bread in the toaster.

“They won’t be, like, happy for you?” you asked, still perplexed that everyone had known about Shawn’s not-so-little crush except for you.

You heard a floorboard creak above you, causing you to snap your head toward the direction of the stairs. Ian and Brian were on their way down, Matt shuffling about in his room. You closed your eyes, dreading what was to come.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the woman of the night herself,” Ian spoke, crossing his arms and looking you up and down.

“Yeah, whatever, guys,” you trailed off, failing to meet their burning gazes.

“Come on, we’re not gonna give you shit. Glad you’re so comfortable in our house, actually,” Brian pressed, a giggle erupting in Ian’s throat, “So, who’s the lucky guy?” Brian asked.

You scrunched your nose, not quite understanding the question. Lifting your head, you could see Shawn looking at you with a slight smirk on his lips, his eyes wide open. What the hell? They didn’t know it was Shawn in there?

“What do you mean?” you asked, in denial of their obliviousness.

“You must’ve kicked him out pretty early, it’s only eight in the morning. Aren’t you gonna tell us who it was?” Brian stared at you expectantly.

Holy shit. Maybe it did make sense, they hadn’t seen Shawn enter or leave your room, and they couldn’t tell his moans from any other guy’s. They genuinely don’t know who you slept with last night. You looked back at Shawn, who was still staring at you in shock.

“You don’t know him,” you said, turning on your heel to grab some orange juice out of the fridge.

Matt was downstairs now, joining in on the conversation. All the guys were gossiping about it, throwing names around about who it could have been in hopes of getting a reaction out of you.

“Guys, stop! I’m not gonna say,” you said, giggling, “I’m already embarrassed enough.”

“You shouldn’t be, it sounded like whoever it was must have been having a great time,” Ian pressed, causing Shawn’s face to turn completely red. Shawn let out a cough, turning his head to somewhat escape the situation. Your face faltered as you looked over to him, praying the subject would be changed soon. To your dismay, Brian seemed to be catching on.

He looked from you to Shawn and then back to you again, finally opening his mouth to say something, “Wait a minute, is there something you’re not telling us?”

“Hmm?” you perked up, trying to play it off.

“Shawn, where were you last night?” Ian asked as your head fell into your hands. Here we fucking go.

“I, I, uhhh, I was out,” Shawn said, crossing his arms and failing to make eye contact with anyone.

“Out?” Brian chirped, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah, out.”

“Out, like, of the house, or out of your room and in someone else’s?” Ian asked, beginning to make sense of everything. Thinking quickly, Shawn began babbling uncontrollably.

“I went out after I got home because realized she was with someone, like that,” he said, motioning over to you, “I couldn’t bear the thought of her being with another man,” Oh my fucking God. Were they seriously going to fall for this? “You guys know how I feel about her. I couldn’t listen to it,” Shawn said, pleading with them.

“Holy shit, dude, I’m sorry,” Brian said, looking at Shawn, “Wait, does she know? Do you know?” he said, looking over to you. This could not be real.

“Know what? Shawn, what is it?” you asked frantically, trying to remain in character.

“I, fuck, I’m like, I’m in love with you,” Shawn said, looking at you from across the kitchen and standing up to walk over in your direction, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you could see him trying to hold back laughter. This had to be believable.

“Oh my God, Shawn, I had no idea,” you said, looking over to the rest of them, “How long?”

“Forever,” Shawn said, looking down at his feet. The guys had their hands covering their mouths, looking back and forth between you and Shawn. They were eating this up. Idiots.

“Oh my God. Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, stringing this along a little further. Shawn was tapping his foot against the floor, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I was terrified. I’m sorry, sorry I didn’t say anything and I’m sorry I’ve been a dick to you,” he said, voice turning solemn, “I just, I like you so much.”

You looked from Shawn to the guys, speaking to them now, “Umm, can you guys maybe give us a minute?” you asked, hoping they just would get up and leave. Your prayers were answered as Brian sprung from his seat, the others following him upstairs to leave you and Shawn alone.

The second they were out of sight, the two of you burst into laughter, completely in disbelief that you were able to pull that off.

“Shawn, what the fuck now?” you whispered, wondering how you were going to hide it any longer.

“I honestly have no fucking idea,” he said as he gasped for air, trying to keep his giggles quiet.

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes #imagine shawn mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes series #house of boys #infiniteshawn #shawn mendes is my daddy #shawn peter raul mendes

663 notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

Text

I promise - Shawn Mendes

a lil something for you on this wonderful wednesday

masterlist

“I’m sorry about today. Can I come by tomorrow and talk?”

You read the last text from Shawn with a tired sigh, you fingers lingering on the keyboard of your phone on the screen. Your damp hair is sticking to the back of your hair and it’s making the back of your jumper wet, a feeling you absolutely hate, but can’t really care about right now.

2019 has been… hard. You really hoped it would be your year, going into it with utter positivity as you felt like you had everything in your hands to have the best time of your life. Well, it’s not true that everything was going downhill, you managed to step up your game at school putting extra work into your studies, your last two tests came back with awesome points making yourself proud of all the work you’ve been doing. You’ve been attending your yoga classes regularly, not missing any of them in the past two months which is quite the achievement from the person who is the queen of just lying in bed all day.

But things didn’t seem to be too good with Shawn. The European tour leg really took a toll on the both of you since you couldn’t visit him because of school and for a couple that’s used to seeing each other at least once a week it’s quite challenging to survive almost two months separated. One fight followed the other, shouting through FaceTime, pages long text messages to another continent and sleepless nights became regular while you both just tried to survive. You hated yourself for ruining his time in Europe, but distance brought out the worst from both of you. His returning brought some light, but in the past week it all went on from where you left off. Things just didn’t seem to be working lately and the thought of him soon leaving again has been just bugging you non-stop. Though you already have plane tickets to see him three times during his time on the road it still won’t be the same as him coming home to you every second evening.

During tonight’s fight you both said horrible things to each other. It all started when Shawn found out you’ve been going to the library with a guy from campus, someone who is entirely just a study partner, because he is good in Economics and in return you help him out with Literature. You just forgot to tell Shawn about it, but he took it as if you were hiding it when there was nothing to hide. Then he asked if you are hiding anything else, you took it personal and asked if he has anything to hide and at the end you both accused each other with cheating. You had to end the call because you didn’t want to sob into the phone and when he called back and realized how far this went he apologized.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I have to go now, but let’s talk tomorrow, okay?” he said in a soft voice as you wiped your tears off of your puffy cheeks.

“Okay,” you breathed out.

He sent the text an hour later, making sure you still wanted to see him the next day. You type a simple okay in and send it to him before muting the phone and deciding to end this day. It’s only nine pm, some children stay up longer than this, but you just don’t have the energy to function. Shawn is probably on the stage by now, he won’t see the message probably until midnight and there is no way you are staying up for that long.

You quickly braid your hair on the way to your bedroom so it’ll dry in waves, you crawl under the sheets and pull the blanket over your body as your head weights into the pillow. Closing your eyes you think about him. All the memories you have with him, how much you love him but about all the doubts you’ve been having. Before Shawn you wouldn’t have put this much effort into a relationship, putting up with all the fights, but he is different. You just can’t let go, no matter what happens and it’s messing with your head. Right before falling asleep a thought pops up in your head: Does it worth it?

When you wake up you see it’s still dark. Flinching your eyes you look around for your phone to see what the time is, but you realize you left it in the living room after texting Shawn. You plop back closing your eyes, but then you hear a thud. Your eyes pop open any sit up immediately realizing you didn’t just wake up, something woke you up.

Hopping out of the bed you grab your Spanish dictionary from the shelf since this is the most massive thing in the room and you slowly tiptoe out of the room. You don’t hear much, just some tired sighs coming from the hall, but that’s enough for you to recognize the intruder. Reaching for the light switch you switch it on revealing your boyfriend standing in the hallway, a sports bag at his feet, his shoes already kicked off.

“Shawn?” you question still debating whether if you are dreaming or not.

“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry, I almost fell over,” he growls as he wiggles his coat off.

“What are you doing here?”

You watch him hang the coat and then walk over to you, looking at you with the softest gaze. His hands cup your face as his thumbs runs across your cheeks, his hot touch immediately making you feel secure.

“I hated how our conversation ended, I wanted to see you. And it’s also three in the morning, so it’s already tomorrow.” A cheeky smile appears on his lips making you smile.

Your heart so full, knowing he drove all the way to your place after his show just because he didn’t like the way you ended the conversation.

Kissing the palm of his hand you turn around and pull him after you into the bedroom. As you crawl back to bed he gets rid of his jeans and shirt before he joins you under the sheets. His arms curl around your waist as you lie face to face in the dark. Neither of you speaks for some long minutes, just staring at each other, listening to the silence.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he then speaks up. “I just… lost my rational mind, I didn’t mean anything I said.”

“I know,” you whisper, your hand reaching up to his face and a finger tracing the line of his jaw.

“I’m just… It’s so hard. I can’t really function when I know you are out here somewhere and that I could be with you. God, I’m so clingy,” he chuckles shutting his eyes closed, making me smile.

“I feel the same way,” you admit. His eyes find yours again.

“You do?” You slowly nod.

“Yeah. I want you to be happy, do what you want and I know it’s impossible to always be with you, but I’m selfish and I want to be part of these important parts of your life.”

“I wish I could take you everywhere with me,” he sighs as your finger reaches his lower lip and you draw the line of it. His tongue sticks out wetting his lips and the tip touching your finger too. “Have you thought about giving up on us lately?” His question makes you stop and your eyes move to his, not sure if you should reveal the truth. “Honestly, I won’t get mad, I promise,” he adds.

You slowly nod your head, feeling the guilt and shame spreading under your skin.

“Me too. But then I realized that letting go of you would just kill me, even more than what we are going through now and I knew that I couldn’t take it. Not talking to you, not hearing your voice, not seeing your face and then eventually seeing you with someone else.”

The way he described it is entirely what you’ve been feeling. The doubt always turned into realization that you wouldn’t survive ending your relationship because as tiring and draining it has been you need him and he needs you.

“I think we just have to learn how to be patient. We had it too good in the beginning, but it’s obvious it gets hard sometimes.”

“Yeah. I promise I won’t give up on us.”

“I promise too,” you smile at him. He moves his face closer and kisses your lips gently before dropping his head back to the pillow.

“I love you,” he whispers pulling you to his chest and you make yourself comfortable curled up against his side, listening to his steady breathing. You press a soft kiss to his hot skin.

“I love you too,” you whisper before letting yourself drift to sleep again.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes oneshot #mendes army

375 notes · View notes

crowned-ladybug · 6 years

Text

So a while ago there was some talking about what if the egos suddenly forgot one of their own? And I’ve come back to it for some Extra Angst

This turned out way longer than expected but still gets no title and only a mini-fic status bc the most of it is not polished enough. I’m putting it under the read more bc it’s long and deals with heavy shit at the start.

Warning for lack of self-care/passive suicidal behaviour, depression, abandonment, lots and lots of pain. There’s also Shawn/Jameson.

They forget Shawn. Like, one day they all just get up and he’s gone from their heads. No name, no face, no memories. The name “Shawn Flynn” wouldn’t ring a bell to any of them. They don’t notice something is wrong. After all, you don’t know what you’re missing if you’ve never had it. They go on with their lives like nothing happened, nothing changed.

Shawn wonders after two or three days why no one has showed up still. They might be busy, sure, he’s busy a lot too, but someone always comes to check in on him every two days or so. But now he hasn’t seen anyone for three days, not even Jameson. He tells himself that it’s fine, they must have got the days mixed up, or they had already told him they wouldn’t be able to come visit and he just forgot. It’s not like he has a phone yet to call them, he’s not quite there with technology yet and he’s never needed it before. He convinces himself that it’s fine.

A week passes, and it doesn’t feel fine anymore. It’s not normal for Jameson and Marvin to just abandon him like this even if the others ever did. He misses them terribly, especially Jameson. But he stays put and doesn’t go to find them. His anxiety has been worse these past couple days and he doesn’t think he can safely leave his home. Plus why would he bother them anyway? If they aren’t coming to visit, they surely aren’t missing him either.

After ten days he finally drops his head on his workbench and accepts it. They aren’t coming.

It only gets worse. As the days go by, he falls deeper and deeper into depression, losing every bit of will to take care of himself that he’d built up over the past months. He barely eats, he doesn’t seem to crave it. He only sleeps when he passes out over his workbench, only to wake up screaming and fall out of his chair an hour or two later. He cries so much, once he starts he just can’t stop, and his head and chest hurt almost constantly from it. He’s shaking, his hands clumsy and useless when he tries to work. He keeps thinking he hears the door open and close, or footsteps making their way down the hallway, only for him to scramble up and run to meet his visitor because finally, finally someone is here, stumbling over his own feet, and find that he’d only imagined it. After a while, he stops getting up to the noises. He knows they aren’t real.

With every passing day, Shawn fades.

It’s like some sort of wave hits them, all at once, one morning when they’re all hanging out together and having fun. They remember. They remember their friend Shawn Flynn, the toymaker, the grumpy yet lovable guy who almost never leaves his home, one of the newest additions to their family...their friend Shawn, how needs to be checked up on every couple days or so because he tends to neglect himself, and no one wants that. Their friend, who they haven’t seen in weeks.

Anti glitches out violently for a moment as the memories wash over him. Marvin stumbles back and has to grab the counter behind himself to avoid falling. Robbie lets out a startled shriek, eyes wide. Jameson drops his tea and stumbles, having to catch himself on the doorframe, one hand over his heart as he heaves. He looks around at the other egos with terror in his eyes. They have no idea what just happened, they have no idea why, but they all know what it means. Shawn is alone. And he needs them.

Shawn doesn’t at all react to the sound of the front door slamming open and footsteps rushing down the hallway. He barely reacts when Jameson bursts into his workshop, out of breath and eyes brimming with tears. He only blinks slowly, vision hazy and eyes hurting. He’s just imagining this again. He’s just hallucinating.

Still he mumbles, voice quiet and hoarse from not being used for so long. “Jaime?” he raises his head from his workbench, and for a moment his vision doubles. When it clears, Jameson is still there, looking hesitant and anxious as he slows his pace making his way towards him. He’s crying. “Are you real?”

Jameson sobs, and he finally runs to him, pulling him into a desperate, tight hug. It’s a bit of an awkward position, because Shawn is still sitting in his chair, but neither of them care. Jameson cries silently as he presses his face into Shawn’s tangled hair, his hands grasping him so tight his nails are digging into his skin and it hurts.

“Jaime...you’re here,” Shawn rasps, pressing his head against Jameson’s chest with a relieved sigh. He’s too tired to cry properly, but his tears slowly start streaming down his face again. “You’re real. You came back for me.”

Jameson just nods and presses a kiss to his head, then another. He wishes he could talk and just tell Shawn everything (though he himself barely knows anything), because he doesn’t want to pull away to sign, he doesn’t want to pry his hands away from Shawn and let him go. He doesn’t know what had happened, but even just the thought of what it must have looked like to Shawn and what it must have done to him hurts so unbearably much.

He finally gathers himself enough to pull back, but Shawn speaks before he could make himself finally start signing and explaining.

“I’m sorry,” Shawn says, still so hoarse and quiet. He’s staring up at Jameson with those wide, grey-blue eyes now so full of pain and shining with tears, and Jameson had thought his heart had already broken for him, but no...it’s breaking now. “I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to make you all leave me, I’m...I’m sorry.”

The only thing Jameson manages to sign is “no” before he’s just desperately pulling Shawn against himself again, crying into his hair. Of course he has arrived at the conclusion that it was all his fault, of course he has. Jameson knows he shouldn’t have expected anything else. Shawn has never thought nearly as highly of himself as he pretends to.

He feels Shawn pulling him into his lap, hands shaking as they hold him, and he curls against him. He presses his face into his neck, tears still flowing and chest still hiccuping with his sobs, one of his hands wound tightly into the back of Shawn’s shirt. Fuck no, he’s not letting him go. Not now, not ever. Not again. But his other hand wanders until it finds one of Shawn’s, and he squeezes it before he presses against his palm and start signing, letter by letter. They’ve done this before, it’s how they talk in the dark, and it’s slow and full of abbreviations, but it works, and it’s all Jameson can do right now.

Shawn sighs again as he reads what Jameson is pressing into his hand. He’s not crying anymore, he’s too tired and disoriented to. Jameson, his darling Jaime is in his arms again, warm and heavy and undeniably real, and he knows it’s not a dream but it feels a bit like it.

“N-O-T--U-R--F-A-U-L-T” is all Jameson manages to sign before there’s more noise coming from the hallway, then that noise is flooding into the workshop, and so are the rest of the egos with it. They all look like they’ve just got the biggest emotional shock of their lives, and quite frankly, maybe they have. They explain what they know in broken half-sentences, cutting off each other and trying to finish at least one thought process together. They only one not partaking in the chaos is Jameson, still clinging to Shawn and absolutely refusing to let go. Shawn doesn’t mind one bit, he lays his head against his shoulder and rubs circles into his back as he listens to the others trying to explain what had happened, though his tired brain barely understands half of it.

They finally agree to figure things out another time, because Shawn hasn’t had a good rest in weeks and that’s the most important thing right now. For now he knows what’s the most important anyway, that he’s not alone and his family still cares about him.

“Jaime?” Shawn nudges his boyfriend (so still really his boyfriend. Wow.) gently as everyone else says their goodbyes and makes to leave. “You staying?”

Jameson nods with a look that reads “you better believe I’m not leaving you alone after this”, and Shawn smiles up at him lovingly. If this was just any other day, he’d carry him upstairs as a joke and spin him around before he puts him down, and they’d laugh until their sides hurt. But this is not any other day. Shawn stumbles when Jameson gets off his lap and lets him stand up, because the world is spinning around him like crazy. He has to use the walls and Jameson for support to get up to his flat, and even though he’s having trouble staying upright he sticks as close to Jameson’s side as he possibly can.

He gets better again, but it takes a while. The other egos check in a lot, make sure Shawn knows how much they love him. Jameson sleeps over every night for a whole week, then another. He practically moves in and is very reluctant to leave. Shawn wakes screaming and crying from nightmares more often than Jameson has ever seen it happen to him before. He gets more clingy and jumpy, or at least for a while, and he feels horrible about it. He develops a fear of being alone for too long.

None of them manage to figure out what happened, none of them know why. They just have to keep moving forward and try their best to recover from it.

#this hurts so so much and i feel bad for even writing it #why do i keep doing this #is could have expanded way more on the first day/night jameson is taking care of shawn bc i have hcs and ideas for it #but no energy or time. i'm tired #i might expand on it later if anyone wants that bc honestly no idea #it's just painful kinda hurt/comfort #shawn flynn #jameson jackson #the reast of the appearances aren't extensive enough to tag #oldtimers #writing #fanfiction #headcanons

54 notes · View notes

goldendream-s · 7 years

Text

too good at goodbyes

a/n: inspired by too good at goodbyes by sam smith. this is such an incredible son, and i highly recommend listening to it if you haven't already. i hope you guys love it just as much as i loved writing it

warning: this is 2,960 words of 110% angst, you’ve been warned

MASTERLIST || REQUEST

Things haven’t been the same between you and Shawn lately; you wish you had another reason to blame, but you knew the only person at fault was you. The two of you had been dating for nine months now, and although Shawn never rushed you into the relationship, both of you knew that the relationship was stuck at a dead end.

It wasn’t Shawn’s fault though — in fact, if it weren’t for his persistence, you don't know where the two of you would stand today. Not only was he extremely patient with you knowing how fragile your heart had become from your past relationships that didn’t work out, but he also fought for the two of you. He’d be on the other side of the world, yet his thoughts would only be on you. Even at 3am in the morning after a show, Shawn’s mind would make him pick up his phone and press on your contact to tell you how the concert went. He’d always buy you a small gift from every place he stopped by on tour, and always made an effort to see you as much as possible. You insisted that having Shawn as your boyfriend was all you needed and the amount of gifts he spoiled you with was unnecessary, but you eventually gave up protesting. You hated throwing the word around, but Shawn truly was a perfect boyfriend to you.

You must think that I'm stupid You must think that I'm a fool You must think that I'm new to this But I have seen this all before

You weren’t sure when it had happened, but everything was quick to fall out. You weren’t going to lie -- you were beyond scared of being so in love with someone, but you were even more scared of having your heart broken. Your past relationships always left you hurt, and you weren’t sure if you could take another hit.

Break-ups never came easy to you, but after your third boyfriend in a year broke up with you, you were convinced that there was something wrong with you. The hurt finally became a feeling of numbness, a feeling you were too accustomed to. The ever so familiar feeling of emotional pain had become a friend of yours, and you had become convinced that every one of your relationships would end up leaving you in the same way: alone and shattered. You thought you were impossible to love, unwanted.

That was what you thought before Shawn came around; and as cliche as it sounded, he taught you what love was again. He was understanding, and made you realize that no relationship would be flawless, no matter the people. He was your shoulder to lean on when you were sad, the back to hide behind when you were scared. He was your rock, and you weren’t sure if it was safe to rely so much on one person.

Your conscience so badly wanted to let your mind accept Shawn, but you couldn’t will yourself to bring your walls down, even in the time of your now nine month relationship with him. You didn’t want to admit it, but you knew you weren’t putting your all into the relationship. The thought of telling someone all of your secrets to have them leave you the next day made your stomach turn and heart wrench -- you were tired of being the one left brokenhearted.

I'm never gonna let you close to me Even though you mean the most to me 'Cause every time I open up, it hurts

It was evident to you that things between you and Shawn hadn’t been the same after your realization, and it seemed like Shawn had noticed, too.

To top it all off, only one month back from tour, he started going out every night to catch up with some friends and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt you. You never hesitated to tell him it was okay every time he’d ask if you were fine with him going out for the night, but you just didn’t know that it’d mean staying at his friend’s house every time he’d be “too drunk,” or coming home hours past 2am.

Shawn had become a ghost in his own apartment, especially because your work schedule only let you see him in the evening. It felt like he was prioritizing clubbing and friends over you, going out for hours on end. You were tired of thinking everything was your fault, because you knew Shawn was trying to escape the painfully clear tension the relationship had seemed to develop.

Maybe it was just another excuse for you to use in attempt to cover up the real reason you were slipping: you were scared of getting your heart broken over and over. Whatever it was, it didn’t feel like things were working out anymore, and you had to let Shawn know.

“I just don’t get it!” Shawn threw his hands in the air as he yanked the blanket the two of you were sharing off of him.

The two of you were on the plush white couch of his new Toronto flat, about to start a Grey’s Anatomy marathon. Being the hopeless romantic he was, Shawn had dimmed the lights and lit candles all around his place for the night. It had been almost three days since the two of you could find a time to hang out, but you knew what you had to do.

“I do so much for this relationship, why can’t you see that I’m not like the rest?” Shawn asked, his eyes softening as he tried to calm himself down.

You scoffed at his words, knowing it was a white lie considering the amount of times he had turned down your plans to go out.

You had brought up the mention of taking a break, but you didn’t mean to draw this reaction out form your boyfriend. Breaking up with Shawn was the last thing you wanted to do, but you weren’t sure if you could take the anxiousness nipping at your tail anymore. You were beyond petrified at the idea of being so invested in someone, especially someone who was constantly on the move. You didn’t want to be the first one to get hurt, so you figured you’d end things before the situation worsened

“I-I don’t know, I just-” you tried to explain, but you knew you were just running in circles with your words.

“Baby, please don’t give up on us,” Shawn pleaded. He had found his seat next to you again, his voice returning to the soft and calming one you were used to. “I know you’re scared, but just let me in. I’m not going to hurt you like Jay did. I’m not going to leave you in the dirt like Aaron did.”

The mention of your exes made you squirm in your seat. You were well aware that Shawn wasn’t like the others -- he cared so much more than the rest. If it weren’t for the voices in your head telling you to run away as far as possible, you would’ve let your guard down but it wasn’t enough.

So I'm never gonna get too close to you Even when I mean the most to you In case you go and leave me in the dirt

“I-I can’t Shawn. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t deserve your love. I can’t give you what you need,” you admitted as you finally felt the tears begin to wet your face.

With those words, Shawn brought you into a tight hug. He let his anger out with your confession, too consumed with trying to stop your tears.

“I’m sorry I’m such a shitty girlfriend, I’m sorry that I’m s-scared, I’m so, so sorry, Shawn.” you repeatedly apologized in his shirt.

Shawn’s hand stroked your hair that messily cascaded down you back and he tried to hush you.

“Darling, please don’t say that. You are more than enough. You’re my world. I’d never leave you for anything. Please, just trust me,” he soothed your fears as you nodded

“Please, don’t give up on us because you’re scared. Don’t let what we have become destroyed because of a ‘what if,’” He practically begged you.

In the middle of it all, his legs somehow became intertwined with yours as his hands softly laid on your damp cheeks.

“Okay,” you finally gave in.

The smile that grew on Shawn’s face as he heard those two syllables come out of your mouth was a site to remember. His grip around your hand tightened as he adorned your body in kisses. In that moment, you knew that he was worth fighting for.

That conversation was exactly one week ago. This was real life: a single discussion couldn’t fix all of the mistakes that had accumulated. Things hadn’t turned out the way either of you had intended.

The words exchanged that night definitely made the relationship and bond between you and Shawn grow stronger, but it still wasn’t enough. It felt like a hurdle had been jumped, a step forward for both of you, but events following those couple of days were quick to feel like another two steps back.

But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry

Your boyfriend made sure to find time in his schedule to be with you. It was more than reassuring, and for a second, you almost thought that you didn’t have to worry about your heart being broken by Shawn. You must’ve jinxed yourself, because as soon as you had felt like it was okay to let Shawn in, he had started going out almost every night again.

Although you weren’t one to be clingy, you had definitely felt lonely during the nights. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were holding him on a leash, so you had of course encouraged him to go out when he would get invited somewhere to let loose a little, knowing how hard he had worked during his nine month tour. You had ditched your friends so many times in hopes that Shawn would do the same for you, but of course, it only made you look like a fool when he would be a no show.

Your texts to him soon had been unanswered for days, and every single one of your calls had been sent to voicemail. Shawn had without a doubt been on his phone especially with his activeness on Instagram and Twitter, and it began to upset you that he couldn’t even take two seconds out of his day to send you a text to let you know that he had at least been doing okay.

It wasn’t a lie to say that you felt the hurt and abandonment that you were trying to avoid. Maybe you were being over-dramatic, but you knew these line of events to think of them as nothing. It had been five days since you have had a real conversation with your own boyfriend, and it became all too hard to hold it all in. You had started to think that your attempt to break up with Shawn had caused a strain in the relationship, and once again, it was all on you.

Would you have been if this position if you never brought up the break?

And every time you walk out, the less I love you

Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true

A few days soon became a week as you waited to at least catch a glimpse of Shawn to talk to him in person. You made some progress last Friday when he finally texted back, but it felt as if he only replied you of pity and for you to stop pestering him. You knew something was going terribly wrong, and your suspicions were confirmed after your boyfriend hadn’t been in his flat for the sixth night in a row.

As the clock above Shawn’s TV struck two hours past midnight, you knew that this would make it the seventh time your boyfriend didn’t come home for the night. You were on your last straw, and this seemed to push you over the edge.

Removing yourself from the spot on the white couch that you and Shawn were cuddling on just weeks ago, you headed for Shawn’s room that had practically become yours since he’s moved in. You dug in the closet to find your duffel bag, and quickly stuffed all of your possessions in. It didn’t take long considering most of your wardrobe was made up of Shawn’s shirts, but you rushed to grab all of your items nonetheless.

I know you're thinking I'm heartless I know you're thinking I'm cold I'm just protecting my innocence I'm just protecting my soul

After you were sure that you had packed up everything you’d need, you pulled off your promise ring from your ring finger that Shawn had given to you on your sixth month anniversary along with the key to his flat that he gave you when he first got his place. Setting it down near the entrance’s drawer, you closed your eyes in hopes of settling down the headache that you felt washing over you.

The memories that you felt being pulled away from you along with your ring was a hit to your whole body, but aside from the initial hurt, you felt nothing. You had become too good at leaving, too good at protecting yourself from the hurt that you always anticipated. It was foolish to think that things between you and Shawn would ever work: the two of you were living in two separate worlds. He was becoming more and more popular every day, while you were the average city girl trying to get through college.

How naive you were to think this relationship would be any different from the rest.

I'm way too good at goodbyes, I'm way too good at goodbyes

You didn’t bother to write a note or let Shawn know, almost positive that he wouldn’t even notice that you were leaving him. He hadn’t been home for the past few nights, so why would this one be any different? As you took one last look around the flat you had gotten so used to spending late nights and early mornings with Shawn, you finally pushed yourself to close the door.

You weren’t sure what hurt more: the thought of you leaving someone you cared so much about, or how you didn’t shed a single tear that night as you left Shawn’s flat, also leaving behind the relationship you so badly wanted to work out.

SHAWN’S POV

I opened the door into my flat, the alcohol in my veins slowly subsiding as the seconds passed by. I had spent the last few weeks feeling this doziness, but Brian had finally convinced me to stay at my flat instead of his. It was a foreign feeling to be back here; It had felt like years since I’ve been in my flat, but in reality, it had only been less than a week.

I haven’t seen her in the same amount of time either and I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain my absence. Guilt washed over my face as I realized that I never texted her back from the other day, but my approaching headache was telling me to get some water and pain reliever.

Closing the door as I removed my shoes, I looked around for the one person I was expecting to be waiting, but I was only met with pitch black.

“Hun, are you home?” I called, but the silence was the only thing to eat up my words.

“Babe, where are you?” I tried again

Flicking on the lights, the bulbs in the hallway immediately illuminated the flat I’ve left untouched lately. Setting down my keys on the entrance’s table, my fingers lingered on the drawer’s smooth wood finishing, my hands feeling something too painfully familiar.

Inching my glance down, too scared to be right, my eyes spotted her promise ring that matched with the very same one wrapping around my right hand’s ring finger. The same ring I had spent weeks trying to buy for our sixth month anniversary. Next to it was the duplicate of my flat’s key that I could only assumed was her’s as well.

My heart began to beat faster as I frantically tried to prove my thoughts wrong.

“Baby, c’mon, where are you?” I nearly shouted.

Reality was slowly creeping along my back until everything finally clicked together. Sprinting to my room, the sheets were perfectly folded like how I left them since the last time I’ve slept in them. Even the laundry basket was still overflowing with my dirty shirts. I rush to the closet only to see her side of the closet empty, as if her clothes were never filling the racks and shelves. The restroom was no better, her toothbrush and hair products all just ghosts now.

Putting two and two together, I finally understood the situation.

She was gone. Gone before I could even see her.

I couldn’t calm myself down before the sobs began to overcome my body. The truth hit all in one crash, my heart twisting into the pit of my stomach. Collapsing onto my bed, my mind flew to all of the places she could’ve gone. I mentally cursed at myself for knowing how she had been treated by her past boyfriends, and how I always thought they never deserved her. Now I’m just as bad as them, and I’m the only one to blame.

Staring at the ceiling, I finally understood the loneliness and pain she had been feeling. But now, I was just another reason for the hurt.

494 notes · View notes

brianc521 · 5 years

Text

Rough Corridors

When you joined Shawn on tour, this is not what you expected.

You expected traveling the world with the love of your life. You expected fun adventures seeing different monuments. Late night diner crashes during a trip to a new state. Fun plane rides to each country.

But what you got? It was the exact opposite.

You got traveling with the band on a separate flight because Shawn was booked for a last minute interview. You got, passing out in the bunk alone while Shawn was out celebrating with the band. You got, not seeing him at all on performance days (which you totally understood) but still ignored even after the show.

It was tiring for you, trying to fit yourself in his schedule. You spoke more to him through text than you did in person.

And when you did speak in person? It was usually some sort of fight.

He’d blame it on being tired, and not wanting to take you somewhere on a day off.

This last fight, that you had in the arena’s greenroom before leaving was a bad one.

Now you sit on the bus, cramped with him and the team, driving to the next arena with no where to really hide from him.

He sits next to you at the table in the little kitchen area, on his phone, posting his annual after show ‘thank you’ and commenting on tweets about the show.

You sigh, letting your head hit the window as you watch the dark scenery pass by in a blur.

You looked down to your lap, clicking your phone on to see the time, breath hitching when you see the cute picture of Shawn as your background.

You stare at the picture for a second, taking in the cute sleep swollen eyes and the soft smile. You remember the exact day you took the picture.

It was the day he left for tour, by himself. You both had spent the night saying goodbye, and when he woke he was real clingy, dreading having to leave you. When you took the picture you were straddling him, sitting on his lower abdomen, hair framing your face as you giggled at his dirty jokes. You took the picture wanting to ‘remember this moment!’.

And now as you stare at it, you can’t help but wish to go back to that day. Even if he was leaving, it was a helluva lot better than fighting with him nonstop, and hearing him call you a ‘clingy, naggy bitch.’

That’s all you can hear, those three words on repeat in your head. The anger that bled through each word he spoke scared you, but what scared you most was the way he was viewing you.

Your chest got tight, eyes pooling with tears, sniffling as you cleared your throat. Shawn looked over at you, his body still held the tension and anger from your fight. His brows were furrowed, his eyes were black and hard as you flicked your gaze up at him for a moment.

His face fell a bit when he noticed the tears in your eyes.

You swallowed, cheeks pink in your upset state, eyes big and watery. You sit up straight, grabbing your phone.

“Can I get out,” You whisper, voice breaking as you bite your lip to keep the tears at bay.

Shawn huffs, sliding out of the little booth you were both seated in, letting you out as he slid back in once you were out.

Andrew looked up at your movements, noticing your demeanor change.

“Y/n?” He asked, eyes moving to Shawn, who is angrily typing at his phone. “You good?”

You nod, coughing to get the lump out of your throat. “Just gonna shower and then go to bed.”

You quickly turn on your heel and book it down the hall to the bathroom with a change of clothes.

Andrew stares at your retreating figure and then lands his gaze back on Shawn. “What’s wrong?” He asks softly.

“Don’t worry about it.” Shawn shrugs off Andrew, and the rest of the teams concerned stares.

You let yourself cry in the shower, hoping the shower itself would drown out the few sobs that left your heavy chest.

Your eyes are red and puffy as you leave the bathroom, slipping out in your comfy pants and an old tank top, staring at the bunk, noticing how the curtain is drawn.

You peek in, finding Shawn sleeping where you usually do, not allowing you space to get in.

You sigh, dropping the curtain and walking back out the couch. Andrew sits at the table on his laptop, typing at something as you sit and pull the throw blanket over your lap, turning the TV on low.

“You’re up late,” Andrew comments.

“Had some coffee at the arena, it’s keeping me jittery, don’t wanna keep him up so I’ll just hang out here if you don’t mind.”

Andrew squints at you, letting it go and nodding in response.

In reality you are just waiting for Andrew to go to bed so you can sleep on the couch. But because you don’t want to cause a scene you don’t really want anyone to know you are sleeping on the couch, or they’d all be up in your business.

An hour later you’re slowly dozing off, head propped up on your hand. You startle awake when Andrew taps your shoulder. He stands in front of you with a blanket and pillow. You stare at him with a dropped jaw.

“I don’t know what happened, but you didn’t have coffee tonight. Sleep well, and if it means anything, the couch is comfier than the bunks, so you won in the sleeping arrangements.” He says softly, handing you the plush accessories and then wandering down the hall, the light flipping off.

You arrange yourself and curl into the couch, falling asleep fast, hoping to forget the night.

Usually when you and Shawn fight, and one ends up sleeping elsewhere he’s the one to sneak up on you and apologize, wanting cuddles and a few sleepy kisses so he can sleep properly.

But you wake the next morning to Andrew making coffee, and Zubin on a face time call with his wife and kids.

You sit up, throwing your hair in a bun, popping your neck and discreetly fixing the bra you slept in, since you were out front where the whole team could see you.

Shawn stalks out of the hallway as you are folding your blankets, he shoots you a dirty look, scoffing as Andrew slides you a coffee and few ibuprofen since you’d mentioned a headache from your stay on the couch.

“I’m going on a run, alone.” He spits as he walks off the bus, letting the door slam behind him.

You sigh, looking over at the door, and then up to Andrew’s apologetic stare.

You shake your head, heading to the back of the bus, finding that one contact on your phone that you needed in this moment.

“Hello?”

“Mom?” You sighed, tears surfacing again.

At the new arena, parked out back, the whole team inside while you stayed on the bus.

You bit your lip as you moved your, now packed, suitcase to the front door, going to the bathroom for your toiletries.

“Hey Y/n!” Geoff called, looking around for you.

“Yeah?” You asked, popping out of the bathroom.

“I was gonna ask you if you wanted anything from Starbucks, but now I’m gonna ask you why your bag is packed at the front of the bus?”

You sigh, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you fiddle with your fingers. “Because I’m going home?” You answer softly.

Geoff sputters, head cocking forward as if he didn’t hear you. “Come again?”

“I’m going home,” You said confidently this time.

“Why?” He asks, voice shrilled.

“I think it’s best if I give Shawn some space, and being crowded on this bus with him is not doing that.” You laugh pathetically.

Moving back to packing your last minute things, Geoff following like a shadow.

“What happened?”

“We just had a little fight, and I don’t really know where we stand, since he won’t talk to me.” You mutter. “And I’m really hurt by what he said. I need space, and he obviously does too.” You shrug, grabbing your toothbrush and brushing past Geoff.

“Are you coming back?” He asks, still following you.

“Right now? I don’t plan to come back to tour,” You grab your book, keys, and purse.

“Are you guys done? Like broken up?”

“I don’t know,” You sigh, rubbing your forehead. “He won’t speak to me.”

Geoff just stares at you, and he can see how upset you are. He can tell something is up with the both of you, but he doesn’t know what was said and how either of you are feeling.

“What did Shawn say when you told him you were leaving?”

You look to your bag, avoiding that question.

“He doesn’t know?” Geoff gasps.

“You can’t tell him.” You point at him. “He doesn’t need to know, doubt he’d notice anyway.”

Geoff’s eyes are wide in realization of how badly Shawn fucked up this time.

“I’m telling you so you know, but he can’t know okay?” You reason. “So when he does find out you can give him some peace of mind. My flight boards at 4, and I should be home later tonight. I’m staying with my Mom, and I’m gonna,” You pause and really think of how to word it so Shawn knows what’s up.”I’m gonna soul search.”

Geoff sighs, shoulders slumping as he nods. He gives you a hug as you zip up your purse. “I’m going to tell Andrew as well, since he’s kind of in charge of flights and crap. So he knows not to book me flights anymore.”

“Okay,” Geoff nods.

He walks with you into the arena, leading you to Andrew, and then booking it to Shawn.

“SHAWN!” Geoff yells, rushing to side stage, knowing Shawn’s in the middle of sound check.

Shawn turns at the yell of his name, stopping at the frantic Geoff running towards him. “What?”

“Y/n,” Geoff breathes out. Shawn rolls his eyes, turning back to his microphone. “NO!” Geoff grabs the neck of Shawn’s guitar.

“Get off my guitar!” He spits.

“She’s leaving.”

This gets Shawn to stop. His eyes widen, “She’s what?”

“Leaving.”

“Why?”

Geoff sighs, glaring at Shawn.

“Geoff, she’s just being dramatic, trying to get my attention.” Shawn shrugs him off.

“Shawn,” Geoff says, voice going serious. “Her flight boards at 4, shes gonna be home later tonight. I watched her finish packing her bag. She’s talking to Andrew so he knows not to book her flights for the rest of her time on tour,” Geoff starts ticking off all the proof, Shawn’s face paling, his heart dropping. “She’s staying with her mom, heard her on the phone with her Mom this morning when you left for you run. She told me that she was going to,” He snaps remembering what you said. “She’s soul searching.”

And that’s when Shawn knows this is real.

You told him, all the time, that when you feel confused with your life, or that you’re scared that something’s not working out the way you wanted that you like to go soul searching to figure it out.

“Where is she?” He asks, ripping his guitar off, shoving it in Geoff’s hands.

“Was talking with Andrew.”

Shawn’s off in a sprint, Chelsea boots slipping on the floor of backstage.

When he makes it to Andrew, he’s alone. “Where is she?” He asks, breathing heavy, fright running through his veins.

“Headed for her UBER.” Andrew points to the front doors.

Shawn’s busting out the doors to the front in seconds.

He finds you, sitting on your suitcase, staring down at your phone.

“Babe!” He calls, still running to you.

You look up, eyes widening as you see your lanky boyfriend barreling his way to you. You scramble to your feet, yelping as he wraps you up his tight arms, burying his face into your neck.

“Don’t go,” He says into your skin. “Don’t leave,” He shakes his head. “Please, please don’t leave. Don’t go.”

You sigh, “I think it’s best if you had some space”

“I don’t want space,” He refuses. “Cause space is just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close.” He quotes Nick Jonas.

You roll your eyes, and then nod. “I am scared to get close right now.”

He pulls back, hurt flashing in his eyes. “Why?”

“Because the last time I tried I got called a bitch.” You shrug.

“No,” He shakes his head, hands coming up to hold your face, his own tears pooling his eyes. “No, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it I swear. I should have never said that, I’m so sorry.”

“If that’s how you feel,” You hiccup, looking away from his face so you won’t cry, “Then I think we need some space.”

“No! That’s now how I feel!” He raises his voice a bit. “Please, don’t leave me like this.”

“Shawn?” You look up at him.

“Yeah?”

“You really hurt me.”

He sobs, dropping to his knees, hugging your waist. “I’m so sorry,” He rubs his nose on your hip. “I don’t want to hurt you, ever. I can’t believe I did. I’m so sorry Baby. I love you so much, you’re not a bitch. Jesus I can’t believe I called you that. Baby you’re my Angel. My beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous, amazing Angel.”

You sigh, fingers curling in his brown locks. “I love you too.” You whisper.

He looks up with hopeful eyes. “Please don’t leave Baby,” He pleads. “Please, I don’t want you to leave.”

“I can’t do this anymore Shawn. I can’t keep fighting you on stupid things, and for the love of god I can’t fight for your attention.”

“No, no more.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to fight for my attention. Fuck I didn’t even really want you to sleep on the couch last night. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t get myself to go to you last night. I was so ashamed of myself, for treating you like that. You don’t deserve that, you deserve so much better than me.”

You shush him, shaking your head as you look down at him.

“Shut up,”

“Don’t go,”

“I’m not, I’ll cancel my flight.”

“And call your Mom, tell her that you’re not coming home. That you don’t need to soul search. That you aren’t going anywhere. That us, you and me, we’re gonna be okay, and that you don’t need to figure out what you should do about us.”

You bite your lip as you nod at him.

“You don’t ever have to soul search over me.” He stands up slowly. “Because I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay,”

He reaches around you, grabbing your suitcase, then your hand, and walking you back to the bus.

He stomps on the bus, tossing your suitcase on the bed of the bunk. Opening it he almost growls at the sight of all of your belongings. He reaches in, grabbing a handful of your clothes, throwing them all over the bed.

“Shawn!” You push his shoulder.

“No more packing,” He shakes his head. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Okay, but don’t make a damn mess,” You giggle, grabbing the things he threw and folding them back to a neat pile.

“No more trying to leave.” He whispers, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Okay,”

“Especially trying to leave without saying goodbye.”

“Fucking Geoff, he’s gonna get an earful.”

“Why?” Shawn whispers, swaying you to the beat in his head.

“Because he wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

“You were gonna leave without telling me at all?” He squeezes you tight. “You just wanted me to come back to the bus before the show and see my girl gone, and think that that’s okay?”

“Well no, I figured you wouldn’t come back to the bus before the show because you were mad at me. I assumed you’d find out after the show.”

“I would’ve thrown a damn fit.” He kisses your neck. “Glad Geoff told me” He whispers. “Fucking trying to leave. My girl trying to leave and not tell me.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good, now get your ass into that bunk.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re about to cuddle all afternoon long.”

“You have a show!” You protest.

“Not till 7 smarty pants.”

“What about soundcheck, Q&A, meet and greet, Smarty Pants?”

“That doesn’t start till 4, it’s 1:30, sounds like I have time to cuddle, Beautiful.”

You roll your eyes, squealing as he lifts you up and softly tossing you in the bunk, crawling in behind you.

“You’re trapped now.” He grins.

“No where else I’d rather be.”

He looks up at you with an unreadable face, surging forward and kissing you fiercely.

“I love you, more than anything. Please know that.”

“I do. I love you too.”

“Alright little spoon let me hold you.”

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes request #shawnmendes imagine #shawnmendes fluff #shawnmendes blurb #shawnmendes fic #shawnmendes request #shawn imagine #shawn fluff #shawn angst #shawn request #shawn blurb #shawn mendes angst #shawnmendes angst #shawn mendes #shawnmendes

2K notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 5 years

Text

Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 11

HAPPY EFFING 2019 YOU GUYS!!! hope yall had a great night, mine was pretty chill but honestly i loved it haha. anyways, here is part 11 to celebrate the new year!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10

Going home the next morning feels like going to my own funeral. Everyone is so quiet, no one dares to say a word to us and I guess this has something to do with how we look and act.

On our way to the airport we are basically inseparable, we never let go of each other’s hand, I’m so clingy normally I would feel ashamed, but Shawn is the exact same. I’m constantly on the verge of crying, but I’m trying my best to look tough and I also don’t want any photos of me with red and puffy eyes. We have to make it look like we are more in love than ever, which is kinda true, but also, we only have hours left together.

Shawn doesn’t try to change my mind though I really thought he would at least make an attempt in the morning hoping I softened through the night, but for my biggest surprise, he says nothing. Instead, he is trying to use our final hours together wisely just like me. Neither of us sleeps on the flight, we share a seat and watch the clouds swimming under the jet in silence, we share kisses from time to time, but it’s mostly just us silently enjoying having the other one close for the last time.

Shawn cancelled on our last appointment on Sunday, he called Andrew and told him he isn’t feeling too well so the interview got postponed to a later date. I’m happy I don’t have to see him once more, saying goodbye is already hard enough, I don’t know if I would have enough strength in me to spend one more day with him without breaking down in tears.

Arriving back to New York Shawn puts on his best fake smile as he takes selfies with the fans waiting for him while I go straight to our car. Ten minutes later he follows and we are on our way to my place. My stomach is in a knot, my throat is dry as I’m staring out of the window, Shawn’s hand still holding mine and I’m thinking about what I should say to him before walking out of his life. I’m cursing myself for making it this hard, I should have been smarter.

When the driver stops in front of the café, our usual spot he suddenly gets out of the car and stands next to it as Shawn turns to me. I guess he asked him to give us some privacy beforehand.

“I guess this is our goodbye,” I mumble under my breath, already feeling the tears dwelling in my eyes.

“I want you to promise me one thing,” he starts looking into my eyes and I nod. “Call me if you need help. With anything. Even if it’s the slightest problem ever, I want you to know that you can always count on me, okay?”

Feeling a tear rolling down my cheek I smile at him sadly as I nod.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“And… if you change your mind in the future… about us… just call me,” he adds and I can’t help but chuckle. He did try for one last time after all.

Cupping his face I pull him into one last kiss and it turns out longer and more passionate than what I planned, but I don’t mind. I let his tongue dominate mine, he is nibbling down on my lip gently and I moan into his mouth, all kind of emotions mixing in me at the same time.

“I love you,” he whispers to me once we part and he rests his forehead against mine. I’m shutting my eyes closed tight and I fight the urge to say it back immediately. If I say it now, I feel like I won’t be able to get out of the car and leave him behind. “It’s fine,” he smiles at me when I open my eyes. “I’m happy I got to meet you. Take care, Naya.”

“You too, Shawn,” I smile as I reach for the handle and using everything in me I turn away from him and get out of the car.

I avoid looking at him one more time, I just start walking. I hear the driver getting back into the car and when I hear the car’s engine starting again I turn around and watch the black Range Rover drive away and then disappear from my sight.

My days without Shawn are just one dark blur from the moment I get home after Paris. All my stuff gets delivered to my place and he even let me keep the dresses I wore to the fashion shows. I want to call him to say thank you so badly, but I decide not to.

The next Friday we have the Assembly, everyone gets their new deals and clients, except me. Joshua explains to me that I need to lay low for a while, so I get signed up for shifts in the Nook as a hostess and I’m honestly happy I don’t have to get back to my usual work. I don’t think I would be able to work with another client so soon.

I spend a lot of time with Elisa and the kids. I volunteer to babysit as much as possible, and when Riley asks about Shawn my heart breaks every time. I tell her she’ll meet him again soon, and I hate myself for lying to a kid, but I guess these lies are making me feel better as well. Playing with the thought of seeing him again occurs to me often and it’s soothing to think about possible alternative universes where we are still seeing each other.

But no matter what I do, how hard I’m trying to keep myself occupied nothing really eases the numbing pain I constantly feel in my chest. I spend all my freetime in my room, mostly sleeping, because this is the only time I can avoid thinking about Shawn, but sometime my brain finds a way to torture me in my dreams too, because I often wake up in the middle of the night looking for him besides me only to find no one in bed with me. I usually can’t fall back to sleep when this happens so I just lie in bed awake, staring at the ceiling until the Sun comes up.

The money gets transferred to me on Monday, after we parted and in the following days I do what I’ve been doing for months. I transfer almost the whole amount to different accounts that belong to people that I owe to. When I finish I have just the right amount of money to get through the month, but at least I have the thought that I took a huge step closer to my freedom with this money as I was able to pay back a lot more than I usually am capable of.

It’s the third week now and I’m somehow feeling more… normal. Everyday things don’t take as much effort as they did in the past weeks. I’m on my way to the Nook for my night shift, Elisa is with her client tonight and I’m just hoping Josie is in tonight so I can hang out with her in my breaks.

The dim lighting and loud music with a chest banging bass feels like the best place on Earth tonight. I woke up a bit dizzy today, felt like I was about to throw up, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I ate a whole pack of salty crackers before going to be and my stomach just couldn’t deal with it properly. But now I’m all good.

I put my stuff down and get changed before sitting in front of my mirror to put on some more makeup and my black pixie cut wig that helps me keep my identity hidden and no one recognizes me as Shawn’s mystery girlfriend, who is by the way very much missed lately.

Yes, I kind of got obsessed with reading gossip sites since we parted our ways, I’m very ashamed of it, but I couldn’t resist. We went from one hundred to zero pretty quickly and I needed a daily dose of info about him to keep me sane, this is when I started browsing these sites and searched for his name. I read articles about him, saw paparazzi photos of him and the guys leaving places, he apparently spent a lot of time with them after our split and I checked his social media profiles regularly. Every time I saw a new post from him my heart started racing and stared at the photos he posted for an hour at least. I’m not proud of the way I’ve been acting, but I think I’ve been doing better in the past couple days and I can actually see a time when I’m not thinking about him for an entire day.

“Honey! I didn’t know you’d be in tonight!”

Josie’s chirpy voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I see her in the mirror, standing behind me in her neon pink dress that she paired with blue thigh high boots and a pearly necklace. Honestly, I have no idea where she gets these stuff.

I smile at her putting the eye-pencil down and turning around I get up to give her a hug.

“Hi J, I’m glad to see you.”

“You are looking better tonight, Sweetheart. How are you?” She gives me a knowing look and I just shrug my shoulders.

After the Assembly I stayed for half a shift at the club, but I wasn’t feeling too good. Josie found me crying in the bathroom and I told her everything. She listened to me whine about how much I’m missing Shawn and that I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love him. I cried for long minutes choking on the words and cursing myself for being so stupid. When I was finally breathing somehow normally Josie gave me the best pep-talk of history. She didn’t try to tell me to just forget about it and stop thinking about him, because it’s obviously the shittiest thing to say. She sat with me on the floor and told me:

“I know how much it hurts. It will hurt, for a long time, but you are strong enough to put up with it. Breaking doesn’t mean you will never feel better, it’s just a temporary thing now. Cry for as long as you want, scream or shout, whatever makes you feel better, but also be patient with yourself. You will get through this and if in weeks you still feel like you can’t get over him, we will figure something out. But time can heal everything and I believe you’ll feel better soon.”

She covered for me for another hour until I somehow covered my puffy eyes and stopped crying. I knew she was right and I just did what she told and I decided to be patient with myself. Three weeks into my No-Shawn life and I’m starting to feel better, just like she told me I would.

“I’m doing okay,” I say as I let go of her and she fixes my wig a bit giving me a proud smile.

“Good. You look stunning, I’m sure you’ll break some hearts tonight.” She winks at me giving my arm a squeeze.

Half an hour later I’m out with my best fake smile as I serve cocktails to a group of men sitting in the VIP section in their expensive suits. I let my mind go blank, I only focus on the music that’s blasting through the place and when I’m not talking to a guest I’m just staring at the stage, watching the girls perform.

It’s around 1 am when the suited men order fruit flavored shots and I walk over to the bar. The bartender places ten shots on a tray and the deep red liquors dance in the small glasses as I’m walking over to their table. When no one is watching I lean closer and sniff at one of the glasses. I love the sweet smell of the syrup we use to make these shots, but this time, when the smell hits my nose my stomach takes a double flip.

I stop for a moment as I feel like I’m about to throw up. The tray almost loses balance on my hand but I quickly recover and catch it from falling. I close my eyes for a moment taking a deep breath as I feel my stomach growl in disagreement.

I serve the shots and rush to the back as fast as possible. As I’m on my way to the bathroom Josie steps out one of the dressing rooms.

“Honey, everything alright?” she asks, but I just shake my head and run past her, right into the bathroom where I barely reach a toilet before throwing up.

I hear Josie coming in and a moment later two hands reach for my wig and she is keeping the hair out of my face while I put everything out from me. When it seems like I’m done she disappears for a moment only to return with a glass of water and some paper towels in her hands.

“Thanks,” I choke out wiping my mouth and flushing the toilet.

“What happened?” she asks with concern all over her face. I’m sweating and I need a few more seconds before I find my voice.

“I don’t know. I smelled one of those fruity shots and just… lost it,” I breathe out still panting a bit.

“Have you been feeling nauseous?”

“In the morning yeah, but I didn’t throw up. I thought I just ate too much crackers before going to bed.” I finally get up from the floor and walk to the sink to wash my hands and mouth. My throat is burning and just the thought of throwing up makes me want to vomit again, but I keep it under control this time.

“Honey, I hate to ask this but… did you use protection with him?”

I freeze the moment these words leave her mouth. She is standing behind me, the water is still running from the tap as I lock eyes with her through the mirror. My stomach drops and my heart starts beating crazily as my thoughts drift back to Paris.

He did not use a condom, because I told him not to. Because I told him I would get a morning after pill, which I had in my purse, but with everything happening between and around us… it slipped my mind. Therefore, we had unprotected sex and I forgot to take the pill afterwards, meaning…

Meaning I now have a chance of being pregnant.

My hands are shaking, I feel like I’m about to throw up again but I’m ready to swallow it back as my unsteady fingers flip through my small calendar I usually keep with me. Josie is standing right behind me as we are standing in the corner of the room, girls are chattering happily in the back not even knowing what is going on here.

When I finally find the right month I look for the red marks, I’m clinging onto the last straws of hope, but when I find them, I almost start crying.

I mark the days when I should start my period with empty circles and then when I actually get it I usually just fill them in so I know which day is the first of my cycle. The damn circles are staring back at me from the previous week, meaning I should have gotten my period eight days ago. Sometimes I’m late, but only with maximum two days. Never eight. Never.

“Is that what I think it is?” Josie whispers and I can’t speak right now, I just nod my head. I close the calendar and show it back to my bag turning to Josie as I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown.

“What do I do now?” I ask with wide eyes. The thought of being pregnant is so foreign me at this moment and I think my mind hasn’t really processed what this means.

“You have to make a test or go to the doctor. Being late can mean a lot, maybe it’s just the stress.”

I nod my head think about it. She is right, I’ve had some pretty stressful weeks behind me, it wouldn’t be surprising if my hormones were all over the place and make my period late somehow.

Josie tries to convince me to tell Joshua that I’m not feeling well, which is true, but I choose to finish my shift. When I get off at three am I’m already a mental wreck, but there I have to face some more waiting since nothing is open at this time.

When I arrive home Elisa is sleeping in her room, she has a morning class tomorrow. I take a quick shower, put on some clean pj’s and crawl into bed with my phone. I open the contacts and I start scrolling down until my finger lingers through a name. The urge to call Shawn is tempting, I almost press on the button, but not even knowing what I would tell him I lock the phone and put it to my nightstand. I can’t talk to him until I find out for sure.

For my biggest surprise I sleep pretty okay. I set an alarm last night so I can go to the pharmacy in time to get a pregnancy test and do it while Elisa is in school. I keep my cool as I run to the nearest pharmacy and try to look as unbothered as possible when I pay for the test. I hide the box in my bag and I’m dying to finally get back home and take it.

Time has never went by slower than at this moment as I’m sitting on the floor of our small and messy bathroom. I watch as the numbers change on my phone’s screen and I almost start thinking time has stopped, but I know it’s just in my mind.

I turn my head trying to make myself busy, so I pick up a set of false lashes from next to the bathtub and hold it up in front of my face. It can be mine, but I think it’s Elisa’s. It’s longer than what I usually use. Setting it to the edge of the tub I stare at it as if I’m waiting for it to start talking to me and tell its story. Waiting is really making me go crazy.

I stand up, carefully not looking at the stick at the edge of the sink as I throw the lashes into the small trashcan and I start sorting all the makeup products that are everywhere. I already know what’s mine and what’s Elisa’s, we have lived together long enough to get used to each other and know what we use. I was always afraid that if I live with another woman we will start using each other’s stuff, like in the movies. I always thought it’s weird. I mean, it’s fine a few times, but not all the time. It’s not too sanitary and budget friendly. It’s better if everyone sticks to their own things. Elisa thinks the same. We are happy to help each other out if one of us runs out of lipstick, or needs a specific color of eyeshadow. But we never touch what’s not ours without asking first. I think this is one reason why we are so good together. Another one is our shared history, I guess.

I check the time and it’s the last ten seconds, finally. I take a deep breath and hold it as I watch the numbers change on the screen until it hits zero. I switch the alarm off, but I don’t do anything. I stand there like a statue, my limbs feel like rocks and I don’t have the energy to lift them up. My throat is so dry, I could drink a gallon of water at once.

I look at myself in the mirror and furrowing my eyebrows I tell myself that I can’t just ignore this. I have to find out the truth so I can carry on or… or find a solution if the result is what I was afraid of.

I blow out the breath I was holding and glance down at the stick that’s lying face down. I slowly reach for it and take it between by pointing finger and thumb. It’s now or never.

I turn it over and when I see it I forget to breathe for the longest second of history. I freeze and my eyes are glued to the two little lines on the stick that means one thing. The one thing I was so worried and the one thing that is now freaking me out to the point where I feel like I’m about to pass out.

I’m pregnant and I have no idea how I’m going to deal with this situation. I’m twenty-one, practically a child myself, I can’t take care of a baby, not with the way I’ve lived in the past two years, it’s impossible. I can’t do this alone and even if Elisa helps me out it’s still not enough. I have only one choice, the person I never thought I would see again and I promised not to think about ever, but I have no choice. I wasn’t alone when this baby conceived and as much as I would love to figure it out on my own, he deserves to know.

I wipe away the warm tears from my cheeks and reach for my phone, still holding the pregnancy test in my hands. Opening my contacts I scroll down and I stop at his name. Biting into my bottom lip my thumb linger over it as I hesitate and try to think about what I want to tell him. But I slowly realize that it’s not something I should tell over the phone, so instead of calling I open a new message.

To: Shawn Mendes Hey. Can we meet? We need to talk about something.

I press send before I can change my mind and I finally walk out of the bathroom. I walk through our small, but cozy living room and don’t stop until I’m in my room. First, I hide the test into one of my drawers and then I check the time. Elisa will be home in an hour from her class to get ready for work, there is no way I can face her right now, so I better not be here. As I’m gathering a few stuff my phone buzzes from a new message. It’s from him.

From: Shawn Mendes Somewhere private or do you want to have drink somewhere?

I could use a drink right now, but then I realize, I won’t taste any alcohol in the upcoming months. And a private place would be the most ideal for this conversation.

To: Shawn Mendes Can we meet at your place?

His reply arrives a few seconds later.

From: Shawn Mendes I’ll send a car for you. Where do you want it to go?

I text him to pick me up at the usual spot at the café and he assures me that a car will be there to pick me up in thirty minutes. Perfect, this way I won’t meet Elisa. I grab my bag, put everything I think I need in it and leave the place, but before I could step out, I stop at the mirror that’s right next to our front door. I see myself in an entirely different way than how I did when I arrived home, though I was already suspicious back then. But now I know that somewhere under my oversized black sweater there is a baby in my stomach. I’m not alone anymore, not even when there is no one around me.

I slide my hand under my sweater and touch my lower belly, but I don’t feel anything yet it’s so different. Nothing will be the same from now on and it frightens me so much I can’t even describe.

I shake my head, fix my clothes and switch the lights off before leaving to meet the father of my unborn child, Shawn Mendes.

taglist: @damnigotadime @jrock-1987 @dacutiehart @ricchhelle @shar-is-my-name

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes x reader #mendes army #boundaries #boundaries series

87 notes · View notes