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megistusdiary · 2 years

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I’m not sure if you’ve written for Xiao yet… but I’m always curious of how people interpret his.. libido to say the least, considering he’s an adeptus and doesn’t feel emotion the same way humans do.

Maybe a shy Xiao were he’s not really sure HOW to ask reader to sleep with him so he tries to give “subtle” hint but they really aren’t as subtle as he thinks.

BTW I love your writing ahhhh

(Can I claim an emoji.. idk how that works tbh I never leave asks so if I can… could I be like, 🥀 anon?? Thanks!!! 💜)

hi there! of course you can be 🥀 anon, welcome to my page :D i'm also very happy you like my writing ♡♡♡ tysm for reading

also i have actually only written two pieces for xiao which are as follows:

1) jealous dom xiao

2) consensual somno with dom xiao

i like to think that xiao doesn't know much about sex except that when done between a male and female, you can create another human sometimes

he doesn't really understand the love-making part of intercourse, so i have an idea of who he would try to ask lol

honestly this has a lot of plot. i have been writing so much these past few days, phew! when i have the time, i am a writing machine haha

warnings: switch!xiao and switch!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

nervous xiao, handjob (xiao receiving), lots of touching/making out lol, first-time sex for both of you :) , lube, fingering/penetration (reader receiving), soft ♡, kissing, baizhu is here but just as a side character because i ♡ him

the leather-bound book sat heavy on your desk in xiao's memory, unable to remove itself from his thoughts.

slightly worn around the edges and held closely to your face while you read it, lips thoroughly bitten. you seemed to think you were so sly when you hid that book behind you whenever he mentioned it.

so it was unusual that he had found it on your desk, for once unguarded by your form. xiao innocently opened the unlabeled cover to see what you had been reading so intently this week.

barely a few sentences in to the page, he immediately realized this was some type of erotic book. he was unfamiliar with some of these terms, purely from a lack of knowledge of human intimacies.

when he finally reached the end of the page, he snapped out of his trance, slamming the book shut with so much force it scattered the pages of your report to the floor.

never had the yaksha been more thoroughly embarrassed, cheeks stained red as he clutched his head.

he knew humans were odd, but he had never seen such a crude book. he never pegged you for the type to be interested in such things. how could one want to read about the act of producing a child?

odd.

perhaps that's how xiao ended up seeking out a personal consultation with the popular pharmacist from bubu pharmacy.

as uncomfortable as it was, the doctor was happy to make his acquaintance, keeping an even-toned expression when he welcomed the yaksha in after hours.

"i understand these concepts might be unfamiliar to you, though i mean no disrespect. these types of things are different from public displays of affection, and they aren't so easily written in literature."

xiao begged to differ based upon that book you left out so haphazardly on your desk for anyone to see.

he allowed the doctor to explain things in the most scientific way possible, trying to remain calm and collected until the yaksha suddenly held up a hand to stop him.

"i...appreciate your effort, but i already understand the act of procreation. i just don't..comprehend why humans seem to enjoy it so much."

baizhu paused, determining the best way to answer the question before he finally understood why xiao really wanted to see him. "i see. you're asking about why lovers like it so much." baizhu barely stifled a chuckle. "to be honest, it's been a while since i have done that myself, but it isn't so much about the act itself."

"how so?"

"it's about being vulnerable with someone. allowing them to see all of you while you see all of them. it's hard to let ourselves be open with everyone, especially if we have a particularly traumatic past. it can lead to becoming guarded." xiao frowned at this. "but, when you're with someone special, a normally uncomfortable situation becomes tender. intercourse becomes love-making." baizhu scratched the back of his neck, wondering if any of this was even sticking. "ah, i'm sorry if-"

xiao abruptly stood, silencing the doctor. "no need to apologize. i understand now. thank you for your time, doctor."

"oh, before you go-" baizhu stood up slower than xiao, reaching behind the counter to collect a small brown bag. "it might not be my place, but i always see mr. zhongli from the wangsheng funeral parlor here collecting peculiarly strong medicine for someone in liyue. it might be presumptuous of me, but, here." he held the bag out towards xiao. "it'll save mr. zhongli a trip here."

xiao gingerly took the bag, holding it in one palm before practically vanishing before baizhu's eyes. the pharmacist smiled to himself, shaking his head before locking up the pharmacy doors and heading home.

it had been a few days since then, and after continuous thinking, he finally decided it was the right time to ask you to do this with him.

you seemed to thoroughly enjoy that book, so surely, it would be even better to experience the real thing, no?

although, xiao had no idea how to bring this to your attention without sounding crude. why was he so nervous about something so simple? he was a yaksha. why were trivial human matters frightening to him?

when you finally came home that evening, you were surprised to see xiao waiting for you, standing in the doorway at attention, watching you almost drop your bag.

"oh, xiao-" you held a hand over your heart, laughing to yourself. "you scared me a little there."

you walked past him, opting to unpack your bag as xiao focused his steel gaze upon your form. "i don't know if you're hungry or not, but i brought your favorite." you turned, holding the container of almond tofu with a big grin.

you expected to see the usual hint of a smile on his own lips, though he seemed to remain neutral as you frowned slightly. "hey, is something wrong?" you started to feel concerned, worried you had upset the yaksha.

xiao clenched his fists as he huffed. "it's nothing. i appreciate the gesture."

you deflated a bit, causing xiao to feel that slight burn in his chest. guilt, he assumed. "alright, sure. i'll leave it here for you." you set the container back on the counter, rubbing your eyes as you put the rest of your things away.

xiao could take it no longer, wishing desperately to get this idea out of his head. "i read your book." he softly blurted out as you slowly turned towards him on your heels.

"what book-"

"the book."

"oh..." you fell silent, face feeling hot as you coughed. "well, i am, uh, sorry for traumatizing you with that, so...yeah." you averted your eyes, screaming at yourself inside your head. how could you forget to put that book back under your pillow? xiao was definitely going to disappear forever now. well done.

"do you want to try...that."

your eyes practically popped out from your skull, covering your mouth. "try what now?"

"intercourse. with- me."

xiao's face was as red as a tomato as you stared at him shocked. "i knew this was a foolish idea, i apologize for offending you. this is an insult to-"

"no!" you yelled out, moving your hands to his shoulders. "no, no, no you're misunderstanding!" you shook your head. "xiao, do you really mean it? you'd try it? with me?"

xiao nodded once, surprised by your overdramatic reaction. was it really as good as baizhu explained it to be?

he also wondered if his karmic debt would weigh too heavily on you for a moment before you gasped, shaking his shoulders with your excited gestures.

"oh, xiao, i...i wanted to ask you for a really long time. i just- i thought you'd never want to. and i never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable." you explained as xiao finally understood.

so you did want to create a child with him? to be honest, he wasn't quite sure if it was even possible, though he had heard stories of half adeptus children in liyue, namely that very popular lawyer woman.

"i'm willing to try." xiao nodded. he allowed you to excitedly lead him to the bedroom, stumbling over your own feet as you pulled him to the bed.

"there's really no need to be nervous." you told him sweetly, cradling his face between your palms as he willed himself to relax.

you were correct, and he hated to admit that a human was more wise than him.

you slowly leaned forward. "is this okay?" you questioned, noses nearly touching as he nodded, staying still and allowing you to approach him. you carefully pressed your lips to his, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones as you smiled into his mouth.

xiao's eyes fluttered shut as he allowed you to guide him, keeping his hands at his sides, awkwardly clutching at the blankets. you gently pulled away, feeling him lean forward to chase your lips before catching himself and opening his eyes.

you reached towards his hands now, holding them gently and placing them on your waist as you climbed into his lap. "there, that's better." you commented, kissing him deeper, swiping your tongue across the seam of his lips.

shockingly, xiao seemed to understand this gesture, parting his lips and allowing you to slide your tongue into his mouth. he seemed to find this sensation odd, gripping your hips a little tighter when you shifted against him.

he felt warm when you moved over his hips, pressing your weight down onto him as he groaned, feeling the strange sensations.

you smirked, grinding down against him as he leaned away, panting with spit-slicked lips as you held onto his shoulders tighter. "does that feel good?" you asked as his eyes closed once more, eyebrows furrowing. you giggled a little before stopping, hips growing tired before you suddenly let out a soft moan when xiao started moving your hips for you.

it was easy to forget his inhuman strength when he looked so soft. his grip was tight as he moved you at his leisure, inexperienced yet curious.

"have you- done this before?" you asked him, feeling warmth building in your core as xiao shook his head.

"never." he answered before pulling you against him once more, trembling a bit. "have you?" from the way you spoke and read it so freely, he was shocked to see you shyly shake your head.

"no...i was waiting for the right person." you admitted sheepishly. "i wanted it to be special." you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

xiao realized you were talking about him, making it feel like he had crystalflies in his stomach.

"here, i want to try something." you moved off his lap, opting to tug at the waistband of his pants. "we both take off some clothes so it isn't as awkward, okay?"

xiao was perplexed when he watched you shyly pull of your jacket. "i assumed it was normal to strip during this act. is it not natural?"

"huh?"

"being nude. why would you be uncomfortable with the idea?"

you paused, mouth opening and closing as you tried to think of an excuse. in that time, xiao took it upon himself to fully strip. "i have no shame in this form. i took it many years ago in honor of my savior. it is something of pride and loyalty. your form is to be respected." xiao reminded you as your eyes widened.

"well...okay." you took a deep breath, removing the rest of your clothing to match xiao as he carefully folded the fabric, placing it on the chair near the bed. "come here." you gestured as he moved towards you. "lean against the headboard."

xiao did as you commanded, feeling your gaze burn against his skin when you trailed your eyes down his body. you stopped just above his groin, feeling embarrassed as you leaned forward.

"oh! i almost forgot, i actually had something, well uh...just in case." you laughed nervously, reaching over to your nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of liquid.

"what is that?"

"it's supposed to make it easier by making your skin more slippery." you explained, uncapping the bottle to pour some on your fingers. "it'll feel much better with this. or so i've heard."

"from who?"

"...sources."

you ignored xiao's huff, carefully tracing a finger along his shaft as his hips jumped. "sensitive." you smiled, feeling his thighs go tense as you swirled your finger around the tip, playing with the slit as his cock slowly grew harder, leaning up against his stomach.

you moved your hand around him, carefully stroking in a gentle motion as he let out a groan from the slick sounds of your hand on his skin. "it...feels good, but strange-" xiao's hands clenched on the sheets as you moved your hand up and down, using the other hand to play with his heavy balls as he gasped.

as expected, he didn't last long, reaching his first orgasm quickly, coming all over your hand and his stomach, feeling sticky on your fingers as you gently eased him through his orgasm. he relaxed against the headboard, watching as you smiled to yourself.

the expression slowly faded when you realized he was still hard...?

"what- xiao, that's...weird? that's not supposed to happen."

xiao looked perplexed. "i thought humans are capable of enduring multiple orgasms."

"i mean, yeah, with breaks- they don't just keep going-" xiao cut you off by pulling you towards him, pressing your body to his.

"what do i do to return this favor?"

"well, i guess the equivalent would be fingering me? i'm not really sure about that though because-!" xiao reached his hand down to press against your wet cunt, feeling your hips jump against his touch. "xiao, hold on, i'm sensitive-"

he pressed his free hand against your fingers, collecting the leftover lube to press against your cunt, rolling his fingers over the skin messily. "xiao, there's a specific way to do it." your cheeks burned. "i'll show you." with one hand, you gripped his shoulder, the other reaching down to wrap around his wrist, feeling around for your clit until you positioned his finger pads just right.

"oh- there." you sighed, moving his fingers in circles as you moved your hips to match the motion.

"is this...adequate?"

"very," you laughed breathlessly. "but, i need you to do something else for me too."

"anything."

"before we try to put your...you know in me, i need to be, how should i say this, stretched out? they say it really hurts the first time...and i guess i'm just a little nervous because-"

"i promise i won't let anything hurt you." you were taken aback by xiao's sudden oath, looking deep into your eyes as your lips parted. "tell me what i need to do."

you carefully moved his hand down towards your hole, allowing him to feel for himself. "here?" he asked.

"yeah, just press in but be gentle, please." you whimpered as he dipped the tip of his index finger in, gently pushing as you shifted uncomfortably. "feels weird."

xiao stayed silent, eyebrows furrowed by the strange texture around his finger. it was tight, yet soft, wet, and warm as you sucked the digit in. he stuck another next to it, feeling you grip his shoulder tightly, hand falling from his wrist as you dug your nails into his bicep. "archons-"

he continued to push the digits in and out, sometimes moving his fingers a bit. he recalled baizhu explaining some of this. he called it 'fingering' or something along the lines. a fitting name indeed.

eventually you stopped him, gesturing for him to remove his fingers as he frowned. "is something wrong?"

"no, no, i just- i think i'm ready." you took a deep breath as he nodded.

he positioned his tip at your entrance, watching you worry your lip between your teeth as you felt it slowly enter you, tensing your body as he hissed.

"don't do that-" he groaned, grabbing your hips. "relax your muscles, it's too...tight."

you tried to relax, eyes tearing up slightly. it was not as excruciating as you expected, though the stretch did burn, and once you finally got through the hard part, xiao paused.

he allowed you to lean on him, taking shallow breaths as he smoothed a hand down your back. baizhu told him to be patient. he explained you would need time to adjust, that it could be painful taking something in your body this way.

xiao was glad he listened, finally feeling your heartbeat slow as he gently soothed you, albeit stiffly.

"are you okay?" he asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder. he carefully moved his hips experimentally, feeling you clutch your arms around his neck for stability, still pressed to his chest as he hummed, picking up the pace gradually.

you allowed him to buck into you at different angles, feeling him shiver as you kissed at his neck, humming into his skin.

"ah-" you suddenly arched when he hit your g-spot unexpectedly, eyes closing as xiao looked concerned. "that was- good, that was a good spot and-"

he pressed into it again, maintaining the angle of his hips as you trembled. "no, no, i'm gonna come if you keep doing that, xiao." you panicked, though he paid no mind, hearing going static as he continued to fuck up into you. "xiao-" you whined as he held you close to him.

he felt your soft breaths on his skin, hair tickling his neck as you suddenly jolted. "oh- i'm close, i'm really close, xiao, xiao-" you moaned lowly, desperately holding back.

"why are you afraid to experience orgasm?" xiao asked, breaking you from your stupor.

"huh?"

"why?"

"you...i need to keep up with you, xiao. if i- fuck, if i come now...you won't get to and i-"

"i don't mind." xiao admitted, focusing on the feeling of you squeezing around him. "i wanted to know what this was like. i didn't understand why humans were so fond of such things."

he reached down with a hand, sliding it down your stomach to press into your clit as you gasped. how did he remember where-

right. yaksha.

he had you trembling against him, orgasm washing over you as you went slack, leaning onto him and crying out his name as he shuddered, leaning back as you continued to squeeze him oh so tightly.

you felt blissed out as you slowly regained your senses, vision coming back to you as you smiled up at him.

your body still felt tingly, limbs numb as he slowly slid out of you. xiao could tell you were out of it, eyes hazy as he leaned down to kiss your head tenderly.

perhaps human intimacies weren't all completely useless.

#🥀─ 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 ˚ૢ⋆˚#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #xiao smut #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #switch xiao #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚#✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

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hotchs-big-hands · 3 months

Text

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

#vent post #tw vent #tw: self harm #tw suicide #tw self harm #a speaks

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dballzposting · 3 months

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i feel inclined to add on to that ask abt movies (cuz i love watching movies).

Trunks to me speaks to me as a person who at one point expected the stuff he watches to change him a little. To help him think in a different perspective and challenge his preconceptions or. SOMETHING. hes the kind of guy to try to watch movies like 2001 space odyssey but by the end of it, just looks up the ending explained. he has to try to get anything out of it. I don't think he liked trainspotting. I don't think he knew what to make of The Shining. Trunks would almost certainly try to not get bored at the beginning of Pulp Fiction (the bulk of that movie is talking). But he'll still go see movies in theaters or watch whatever he's got laying around in the house though.

He thinks he's watching movies to gain something but tbh ? Trunks has been watching movies all his life, and it might just feel rly weird to suddenly. not to. If that makes grammatical sense. I think it just gets too quiet in his house. His mom's always working on something in her lab, vegeta's always in his training room, etc etc. so he puts em on to chill. Even if he doesn't really get them sometimes. Bulma seems like the type to do the same thing while she works, maybe he gets it from her.

That's probably why watching movies with goten is so interesting though. He can really get to the core of what it's trying to say, engage with the story and themes on a meaningful level and come up with his OWN well constructed analysis with an infectious enthusiasm reminiscent of the way Gohan talks about entomology.

And Goten, country bumpkin that he is, probably hasn't even seen more than MAX 30 movies in his life (ever) besides whatever soaps his mom leaves on. he's glad trunks invites him over to watch this stuff. At the end of analyzing whatever film they saw I think he'd be like Waow. That was so cool Trunks thank you for showing me this :-) can I borrow this dvd and never give it back and Trunks will be like yeah man thats cool I'm glad you liked it so much. I have a bunch more laying around it's whatever. (He found a lot of these movies in this "guest" room he's never really been inside of. It still has a lot of stuff from before he was born.)

I think that's so interesting.. that Trunks is familiar with the elements present in film but because it's familiar, it's harder to parse how or why these elements are meshed together to make the whole. he's just "watching" them without really thinking about anything and as such, doesn't gain anything.

But because Goten isn't accustomed to watching movies all the time, he can look with unclouded eyes. Not just watching, but observing and taking all of it in.

Its the difference between hearing and listening if that makes sense.

(One last tidbit which isn't super important. I mentioned earlier a guest room. It was yamcha's. When he moved out, he didn't really take a lot of things with him, choosing to leave some of his clothes and most of his movies behind. Bulma probably told him that he could just leave his stuff there in case he ever wanted to visit. The only movie he bothered to take with him was Caddyshack. For some reason. Why)

peace 🌷

I mean this as a kindly reminder and I'm saying this to everyone: you can always make your own post / reblog the post in question in order to add on to it. You can get your name out there. Look alive... It's showtime. I mean I will always faithfully post asks (I cannot guarantee in a timely manner) but never forget your options there.

(For instance perhaps posting your own words on your own post stands to grant them more respect, rather than forcing them through the filter of somebody else's input in order to be posted - as is the reality of sending asks. I can tell when someone really cares, and I appreciate that, and I try to be faithful to that, but I also like to babble. Maybe some posts ought to be stand-alone?)

(Gotta raise my glass to this though becasue i found out today [I would have found out a week ago if I had bothered to check my email] that I may or may not be helping my school start a film club so TBH i gotta appreciate this ..... and I gotta respect the grinde.... It's funny thouhg because you know I actually hate watching movies. When the time comes I ought to come back to you and the other user for recommendations. Well anyway back to the ask)

OK Well this is some real shit you just said. I fully agree. It coheres with what was already said although with some extra sensitivity ...

Reposting this segment for a TL;DR becasue I thought it was an elegant conclusion:

Trunks is familiar with the elements present in film but because it's familiar, it's harder to parse how or why these elements are meshed together to make the whole. he's just "watching" them without really thinking about anything and as such, doesn't gain anything. But because Goten isn't accustomed to watching movies all the time, he can look with unclouded eyes.

I mean really it all comes down to Trunks being a Modern CityBoy; he's used to background noise, he's used to mindless entertainment. Goten doesn't have things in his life that are meant to be taken for granted, though, so that just makes him overall more attentive and appreciative.

That's the greater discussion here ... A veiled call for action for us all to try to look with fresh eyes upon our own lives ....

Really, If Trunks isn't taking to the creative storytelling aspect of it, he should at least take a shining to the technological artistry. Maybe he doesn't care why or when, but he does know HOW they do what they do. That'd be swagg. But then he'd have to do research on something that isn't Minecraft related. Sighhhh

BTW Thanjk you for addsing that Caddyshack bit in there for me. Mondo appreciated <3

#dballz posting #dballz asks

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theloveinc · 2 years

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do you talk hawks at all? i just love bird man so much i wanna pick his brain. wanna study him under a microscope. must be all of the ✨trauma✨ he’s been through

ANYWAY

do you think he’d have abandonment issues in a relationship? how clingy do you think he’d get?

(also i hc virgin hawks on my deathbed. wouldn’t surprise me at all if you were his first serious relationship. just ‘cuz i could see it being pretty difficult to really get close to him. but once you do…he ain’t letting go

buuuuttttt that’s just me)

i talk every character tbh but people always seem to forget💔💔💔but hawks omg... remember back in the early days of the pandemic when he was basically everyone's number one sexy boy? i'm honestly not sure why the hype for him died down so much.

ANYWAY i absolutely wanna study him, too! his trauma is SO interesting to me esp because i think his demeanor + motives are honestly... berry strange LMAO. respectable... but berry strange (we can address this another time sdfkjadsf).

To get down to it, though... I agree with you about Hawks' clinginess (if you can call the rest of this agreeing), as well as that it takes long time before you ever see that side of him, too. And not like a three month long time, more like a YEARS long time. One or two at least, given I also see him as being really hesitant about relationships. Not exactly having abandonment issues... but commitment ones.

Which isn't to say he's unloyal, or even as more of fuck buddy than anything else... I DO think he very seriously dates you (cuz I see him as being very serious in general, actually)...

But at first, dating him is never... romantic. Or it is and that aspect of it just feels... weird. Like you definitely like each other... but don't actually know each other, if that makes sense, all because he's distinctly refusing to let you in. And it's not even intentional, or ill-intentioned, at that... he genuinely does want to be with you... he just can't bring himself to commit in the ways that matter.

Until he does.

Because I think if you stick with it, enjoy the relationship as best you can, there comes a point after all of this nonsense, where... yeah. He gets attached. WAY too attached. Codependent attached. Which is kinda strange because part of you thought he just liked you for the company... like, a friend he could bang..

But the reality is, the entire time you were dating, literally while you thought things would never progress and this might just be... settling, Hawks was building a nest with you in his head. Piece by piece, leaving bits of himself beside you and then pondering if it was finally safe to leave them all. And suddenly, it is. And you become his lifeline, the person he trusts more than anyone else in the entire world... all because you waited for him, dealt with him... showed him that you loved him even when it was hard.

Then he becomes clingy. Nightmarishly so, as this is when his commitment issues turn into abandonment issues. He goes from being somewhat scared of tying either of you down to being afraid you'll leave him for the way he's treated you, all in like... less than a month.

(And since he's not dumb, it goes smoother than I'm making it seem. Like he definitely has a moment where he tells you all this, and explains what he's been going through in trying to stay so casual; that he knows it was dickish, but it was only because deep down, he was so, so scared.)

But this means you go from hardly anything—dinner dates that would sometimes get canceled whenever he picked up an extra patrol, always leaving your apartment before anything other than kissing could start—to so much: going on fancy dates. Spending the night and waking up together. Talking about the future... as the future finally feels right.

I think it’s a kind of a nice clingy, though. He’s not whiney at all, more happy and silly than you’ve ever seen him (completely delighted by you, all the time), and if anything really, it never feels like the honeymoon phase, just like you get very close and comfortable with one another, like you’ve been together for years.

He just wants to see you everyday, not to exhaust, but to spend time together, even if that means doing nothing at all. He calls you and wants to talk for hours, about anything and nothing at all. He doesn’t mind anymore.

AND turn this fantasy into your own, by god, please, but... yeah. He probably is virgin up until this point. Acts so cocky and suave about it but only because he doesn’t know what else to do. He wants to be good, thinks he has everything mastered to a certain extent... then your pants come down for real and he just... losing all cool, focus and control.

Gotta treat him so sweet🥺🥺🥺 so his first time w/ you is magical. I already know it is, though.

#hawks #im just imagining hawks on ft with you and being unable to tear his face from the screen and the whole thing is just his eye and hair #bc he's so happy to be looking at u #sorry this got... out of hand #hope it's okay tho!#i always forget how much i feel about hawks until im writing about him #sighh #then im 5 paragraphs in and in my own world #i actually had a lot to say here but ... i forget LOL sorry sdfjkahsdfhkjahsdkj #i kiss u thank u so much for the ask and the hawks #caitie things #anon

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indigo-flightly-falls · 10 months

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Watcher's Clutch AU - basic info

Soooooo... this is a mcyt X httyd crossover AU! (it's the 3rd of my mcytXhttyd AUs lol, more on those later)

It's vaguely inspired by the fanfics The Orphan's Ballade and The Hermit's Refuge, which are fanfics for the dsmp and hermitcraft fandoms respectively and feature one character adopting all the others. So uh, yeah. The basic idea is from those, go check them out they're fun to read.

In this AU, it's mostly about the Watchers/Listeners (and a few others), as they get adopted by a stray Watcher who is the protector of children. It all starts when a kid winds up on her doorstep at night, covered in blood (some of it not his own), and begging to be killed. That night, the Watcher takes him in, and slowly starts to draw more kids into the mix.

Under the cut is the details about who are the stray children adopted, and what dragon hybrid they are! I won't go into backstory details because I actually want to write this soon. With in two months at least. Maybe. Don't hold me to it.

Grian - sentinel If you don't know what sentinel dragons are, you probably won't understand why this works so well. It's because sentinels in httyd exist to watch over a dragon graveyard. What better dragon for Grian? On top of that, this adds an interesting idea, because sentinels are blind. So hybrids would probably be born with vision problems or develop them during childhood. So the idea that Grian, even as a teenager, still has relatively good eyesight despite being a species that would've lost it at that point is rather interesting!

Etho - whispering death/sand wraith Weirdly fucked up mouth. That's my main reasoning. Try to put a whispering death mouth on a human. It would looked really fucked up. Idk I almost went with changewing but figured whispering death was a better choice for a hybrid. No I will not explain why he's a hybrid of two dragons <3

Exion (Evil Xisuma) - night fury This one will make zero sense unless you've read my helsmit headcanons post so I'll sum up why I chose this: I headcanon Ex and X to be two of the last voidwalkers, similar to night furies in httyd. Main reasoning tbh.

Helsknight - singetail Arson chameleon.

Skizz - triple stryke Skizz gets the cool scorpion dragon. Also because the only triple stryke we see in canon gives off 3rd Life!Skizz vibes. No I will not explain Sluther could be Skizz and nothing would change.

Chicken - thornridge This one will also not make sense unless you've read the helsmit heacanons post (also included in this category are Echo, 13, Adubs & Grain) But basically Chicken is one of the most peaceful helsmits, and I though he'd fit a thornridge!

Adubs - prickleboggle Funky dragon that casts healing fireballs. Idk I just wanted something vaguely plant themed for this guy.

Grain - dramillion Parrot dragon parrot dragon parrot dragon- Basically the dramillion can mimic any blast it sees, and I thought that it would be cool if hybrids could also mimic voices!

BigB - speed stinger Don't blink or he will zip past you can suddenly you can't move. I like the raptor dragons alright :) He could also be a dreadstrider, which is a hybrid between a speed stinger and a flightmare, but I like basic speed stinger for now!

Echoslab - egg biter Honestly it is simply the vibes

Martyn - slithersong Listen, this dragon lures it prey in by singing. And Martyn is widely regarded as a Listener in headcanons. It's perfect.

Jimmy - razorwhip A) Jimmy is a toy would work great with the dragon that looks like it's made of metal B) Jimmy can have poisonous tears and breath for fun :)

Scott - snow wraith I am channeling Empires season 1 for this. Es1!Scott is so snow wraith coded.

Bad - flightmare Idk he's Scar's counterpart and sibling. Don't know what else you need

Xornoth - deathgripper Xornoth is so deathgripper coded. I am correct about this btw. I'm thinking Exor is like Grimmel and basically drugged deathgripper hybrids to use for his own purposes, and Xornoth is one of the few who escaped!

13 - sword stealer Metal dragons that steals stuff and looks scary :)

Joel - small shadow Small shadows are the wolves of the dragon world alright. Also I think it'd be cool of Joel just goes missing for days at a time and nobody's really worried because he can fight when he needs to, and the entire time he's building a small shadow pack!

Ren - scuttleclaw Again, vibes. Scuttleclaw's have dog vibes and it is Rendog.

----------------------------

Anyways, those are the main children, with others appearing in cameos or backgrounds. Pearl, Joe, and Keralis have all been excluded from this group despite being Watchers (in my headcanons at least), due to possibly having different roles in this AU.

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@kamishirosss here's the tag! Sorry this took so long, I got busy-

#mcyt x httyd au #trafficblr #hermitblr #watcher's clutch AU

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xsoulxsilencex · 8 months

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Well, episode 72 was surely... something.

There's a lot to talk about (especially when it comes to Zwijo and Mitsuko) so if you can't stand seeing anything negative about this episode then better not read any further.

Well, where to start? I guess with the jab at Manabu. Seriously, can't the writers go one episode in this arc without reminding us of Commander Study or clowning on Manabu? And I can't believe that the reason why Manabu can't be in the finals is due to him not entering with his real name. If you never wanted him in the finals in the first place then you should've given him a better reason than that, Bridge.

Yudias and the twins know that Epoch avoids them (or more specifically Yudias) and we see a hint of darkness still in Yudias. This could get interesting if the writers don't screw it up. There's also Yuamu and Yuhi talking about the relic and Yuamu asking Yuhi for a favor we haven't gotten to know what that is exactly yet. Maybe that plays already a role in the next episode. (or in ep 74 which has "road" in its title and Yuamu once again mentions how "this is their road" or whatever after Yuhi got to know about the favor)

Now to the tournament final: Why does Ranran say there's around 8 finalists? How does she not know the exact number? Or does she know better and was told to say this? From the spoilers, we already know we have 10 finalists. At least Manabu is also aware of how weird this is.

And to the biggest topic of the episode: Zwijo and Mitsuko.

Honestly, what the heck? Don't get me wrong: I never expected Zwijo going full mushy mode and say he missed Mitsuko and he loves her too and all that shit. This is still Zwijo so he will never be super emotional and say cheesy stuff. But whenever Mitsuko asked him if he has something to say to her or if he remembers their first meeting, he just said "no". That's it. They meet each other for the first time after 2 years and he doesn't bother explaining anything. So am I supposed to think that Mitsuko doesn't matter at all to Zwijo? Was she just a tool like Chupataro but he kept her longer with him for some reason?

Speaking of "meeting each other for the first time": Seriously, what was that backstory? Mitsuko accidently bumped into Zwijo's space ship, he said sorry and she went full delusional mode and thought he wants her to live with him? *sigh* Why do the writers suddenly turn Mitsuko in some kind of Ranze 2.0.? Sure, her "love vision" is just for Zwijo and not every guy around her. But we never saw it as bad as now. Like there was nothing until ep 41 and even then, the way she saw Zwijo was still with him frowning which we are used to. But now, she imagines him all smiling charmingly?

Tbh, I don't really understand why Zwijo even accepted Mitsuko to live with him. Like he sees this 3 meters tall lady for the first time, she wants to be with him due to her delusions and he just accepts it? Why? He could've just told her to leave him alone or push her away or simply ditch her without looking back. But no, he took her with him. Tbf, we just got Mitsuko's POV on their first meeting but I don't think Mitsuko would have forgotten it if Zwijo had been totally against it. Now I'm sure some will say "maybe Zwijo saw some use in Mitsuko which is why he was okay with her" but again: Why would he accept her to live in his space ship along with him? Just because Mitsuko wanted to live with him together doesn't mean he had to do this. He could've found a random house or so for her (or tell her that living together isn't possible but spending time together is fine) and still use her as his tool but he didn't. There's also the question where the heck all of Zwijo's people were including Myuda and Dinois during the time Mitsuko lived with him. On the battlefield? Somewhere else?

And speaking of Dinois: 1. why was she suddenly with Zwijo, 2. why did Zwijo use her ace monster and 3. why did nobody give a shit that a desk is suddenly talking and moving? Are everyone in Mutsuba Town so used to aliens now, they think a talking furniture piece is normal too or an alien?? But yeah, Zwijo using Heavenstar doesn't make any sense to me. Why would he do that? He has enough monsters that could be used for a new fusion. I did think of the possibility of Zwijo wanting to provoke Mitsuko with this to lure the darkness (but then, Dinois must have told him that Mitsuko can't stand her, I doubt Zwijo found that out himself) but we also see him taking Darkness Sansara away from Mitsuko which Yuamu speculates on that he maybe did that to prevent her from getting consumed by darkness. Which would mean that Zwijo does actually care for Mitsuko? At least a tiny bit? Or am I supposed to believe that Zwijo just took Sansara for himself since he later said that he thinks that it can bring back memories and he saw some use in it?

Ofc, Zwijo defeats Mitsuko and Mitsuko falls for him again - due to her delusions of thinking he says he loves her too. Come on, don't do this to her, Bridge. And ofc this can't end in those two making up since Zwijo just angers Mitsuko again with not remembering how they met for the first time and then she falls down the pit. I did a post before by saying how much this duel reminds me of Roa vs Getta and I'm still standing by this. (and Roa still gets at least points for telling Getta that he's a great friend to him - all Zwijo does is tell Mitsuko she "did well" and "good work")

Look, I don't say Zwijo has to reciprocate Mitsuko's feelings for him. He doesn't owe her any love just because she is in love with him. And I'm honestly not believing in them becoming a canon couple anymore (because yugioh rarely cares for proper romances anyway). But is it too much to ask for Zwijo appreciating Mitsuko as a friend? This guy doesn't have a single deep bond with someone who isn't from his own kind. Yudias has a bunch of non-Velgearian friendships who helped him understand things better, why can't Zwijo at least have one with Mitsuko too? I've also seen some saying that Mitsuko "forced" herself into Zwijo's life and while she did have her delusions, Zwijo isn't some shy, weak kid who can't speak for himself. Again, if he can't stand Mitsuko or feels uncomfortable around her then why did he even accept her to live with him together in the first place? You can't tell me he couldn't tell no to her. This is still Zwijo we're talking about - the guy who let Mitsuko do work for him so Idk how Mitsuko is now the one who forced Zwijo to keep her with him and he had no chance to escape her? You really think she has that much power over him? He could've also asked any of his own Velgearian soldiers to be still with him to work as a henchman on Earth or could've looked for other aliens who wouldn't have felt the need to be close to him like Chupataro so needing Mitsuko as a henchwoman would've been redundant.

The way the relationship between Zwijo and Mitsuko is now is just frustrating. If Zwijo just straight up told Mitsuko that he doesn't love her or that she should stay away from him, this chapter could be done and Mitsuko could move on. But we don't have that. Instead I fear for Mitsuko doing it like Getta (when it came to Roa) that she might be angry at Zwijo again rn but she will return to him if she thinks he is saying something she could interpret as him actually loving her or needing her. And I really don't want this shit again. Either have Zwijo fall in love with Mitsuko eventually, have him reject her but they still stay friends or do a clean cut of him telling her she should stop approaching him. Mitsuko won't stop reaching for him as long as Zwijo doesn't make it crystal clear what he really thinks of her. Maybe this is a hot take for some but it is partly his fault if Mitsuko still has hopes for them together. Like get your damn point across, Zwijo! Tell her straight in her face to get lost if she really never meant anything to you other than a tool you had some use for a while but now you want her to leave you alone. Heck, even insult her if nothing else works to make it obvious to her that you see nothing in her.

Next episode is Asaka vs Tell, Rovian vs Yuna and Nyandestar vs Yuamu. Also hinted Zwijo vs Yuhi but that could be pushed to episode 74. And I want Yuhi to beat Zwijo since I want to see Yudias vs Yuhi as the arc final duel and Yuhi being the one helping Yudias to get rid of the darkness in him. After all, they're best friends and this arc had some build up for them to face each other in the finals. I would be disappointed if they just did nothing with them now.

#yugioh go rush #ygo go rush #soul rants #long post

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boku-no-anime-phase · 9 months

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Sugar Apple Fairy Tale first season review

(with apologies to the friend who recommended this to me, for thinking way too hard about this piece of media like I do everything. Sorry friend. I'm incapable of being a casual enjoyer.)

Spoilers for Sugar Apple Fairy Tale S1 upcoming, as well as discussion of topics like sexism, discrimination and slavery.

SAFT follows Ann Halford, an aspiring sugar artist, as she enters sugar sculpture competitions, takes freelance work with unreasonable clients who don't know what they want, trains under sugar sculpture masters, and deals with politics and sexism in the workplace. Oh yeah, and falls in love with her man-sized gothboy fairy friend.

I honestly don't even know where to start with this show 😂

Let's talk plot. When I watch anime, I expect to have to swallow some wild stuff in the first episode to establish the premise. My Hero Academia said "suddenly everyone got powers, idk how." Fruits Basket said, "these boys turn into animals (literally) when a girl touches them." Once you get past the wild initial premise, you can pretty much sit back and enjoy the show. And those shows are kinda classic! So having a ridiculous premise doesn't mean you can't have a great show (especially in the case of FB, which has an absolutely absurd premise, but is a phenomenal and moving show once you accept that and immerse yourself).

With SAFT, I felt like every episode I had to accept some new aspect of the world that was difficult to swallow. I don't think it ever explained why sugar and sugar sculptures are so culturally important to this kingdom. That wouldn't have been an issue as long as they established how important sugar sculptures actually were - I was surprised over and over again by minor characters' investment in the over-arching plot. 🤷 The storytelling also didn't feel internally consistent. Certain plot beats or themes were introduced like halfway through the season, where they definitely should have come up before. And certain plot points definitely felt contrived - characters coming up with solutions to problems that felt like they could have been solved another way.

It's not like I didn't have a good time watching this show - I did - but also I'm cursed to never just enjoy something, I have to Actually Think About It.

On that topic, let's talk about themes.

This show seemed like it had a few thoughts about sexism, slavery, and minorities... But I don't feel like it really committed and delivered its message, at least in the first season.

Fairies in this are often enslaved to humans and at the beginning we see some distrust from fairies directed towards Ann because of this dynamic, which I thought was interesting; but she quickly "proved herself" as an ally and won their trust.

The other messaging about fairy slavery is super mixed. Ann is against it and frees the only fairy she buys as soon as she is able (actually before it's even feasible but whatever). Another character we meet is a benevolent master to a fairy who is only "technically" enslaved - he could claim his freedom at any time, but doesn't because he enjoys his situation (😬). In another situation, an enslaved fairy is in love with her master. But then we meet another character who treats fairies, including free fairies, as subhuman, and the show highlights how she treats fairies differently than humans because she looks down on them, and that's bad. But it doesn't seem to make a consistent moral stand on the slavery of fairies, and often casts humans who "own" fairies in a sympathetic light, or paints the relationship between the human master and enslaved fairy as a mutually-agreed-upon, mutually beneficial thing. That made me pretty uncomfortable. It seems like the show wanted to really grapple with slavery as a topic, but couldn't stick the landing.

Also, towards the end of the season we find out that female sugar artists are extremely rare (feels like this should have come up earlier tbh!), and the show introduces ¿¿Christianity?? Or like a religion that seems to borrow really heavily from Christian creation myths and their sexist undertones? Anyway. Ann experiences a lot of gendered discrimination at this point. It seems like a weird time to introduce such an important theme, but 🤷 it also feels like it wants to grapple with sexism as a topic, but imo it fumbles there too - sexism is a factor in the harassment Ann experiences, but it's not really the thing that ultimately puts her in trouble. Also around this time, the show's second significant female character is introduced, and she actually fits a bunch of sexist stereotypes so it feels like the show shot itself in the foot.

The way the season ended, it seems like slavery is going to be an ongoing Big Topic, but I'm concerned that it's going to be a plot point rather than something to be truly grappled with and dealt with on a moral plane. If I were gonna make a prediction, I'd say S2 will be mostly concerned with slavery in the sense that Ann will be upset that Challe is serving someone else, and the orders his new master gives him will hurt Ann's feelings bc she thinks he's doing it because he wants to. That feels like an icky way to talk about slavery, to me. I could be wrong though (let's hope so).

I don't want to be one of those moral purists that's like, "shows shouldn't depict XYZ", but I do think it's kind of irresponsible to depict stuff like chattel slavery without giving it adequate moral consideration, and this show just... Doesn't seem like it's the type of show to spend a lot of time challenging the morals of something. Maybe S2 will be surprising but 🤷 I also recognize that this is Japanese media and idk what their history is with slavery but maybe it's not such a sensitive topic there. I'm not sure.

Last thing, which is more of a generalized anime gripe - the main character is 15 (which she takes care to inform us is the age of legal majority in her country). She's in love with a 100+yo. WHY 💀 they could have at least made her an adult - 3-4 years is not that different! Why is it always teenage girls in love with powerful immortals?

All in all, it's a fun brainless show with a cute developing interspecies romance if that's your thing. I can't turn off my brain and I also do intersectional feminist analysis here so here ya go 😅

Did you watch it? What did you think? How is S2 so far? I don't know how to end this post help

#sugar apple fairy tale #saft #anime #anime analysis #anime review #bnap anime review

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sorrowful-personage-family · 2 years

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Affection and lust.. What's the difference..?

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

TRIGGER WARNING- MENTION OF SA

CHARACTERS- Laito, Ena

AUTHOR NOTE- Not a long fic (I hope) just a small scenario to hopefully boost this blog a bit (ngl it do be kinda a ghost town ere☠️) but I just wanted to go into Laito and Ena more cuz I like their dynamic tbh (tbh they really just are like Reiji and Chousoka but with more genuine teasing and insulting each other-) So I very much hope people enjoy this :) (I gotta get better at protraying Laito's character-)

@crimson-mayhem tagging u cuz CAN'T BELIEVE U FORCED THIS UPON ME 🙄 now u gonna face the consequences 😈 JKJKJK Nah you just inspired me to write this-

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

Love is real, no matter how you seem to look at it love exists. It's like a unstoppable force of energy that hits you in the chest so painfully. At least... It hit Ena in the chest so much it hurt. Not a good hurt.

Love exists, love is more painful then pain itself. It brings unwanted emotion that makes you grow insane with lust, affection. Sometimes you have to step back to then remind yourself of the difference between lust and affection. They both go into the love category. But for some reason we are told they are two different things.

When trying to bring someone up into adulthood. Lust should not be the first thing introduced to them first. Affection and lust are different, if your introduced to the wrong thing your idea of love gets boggled with.

𓆩 ♱ 𓆪

The room was quiet. Nothing but the sound of Ena combing his hair, the sound of Ena sipping on Champaign. Maybe if you listened hard enough you could hear him drowning himself in his own sorrows, drinking himself dry.

The feeling of his hands caressing Ena's shoulders, up and down moving to his face. Hands so cold like no other as if these hands aren't there, they aren't there.

"Don't touch me..."

"But I'm not..? Fufu..~ What are you thinking about hmm..? I'm all the way over here I can't possibly touch you." Laito chuckled. Ena could have sworn he was alone but no, here he was sitting in Laito's bedroom. He was simply to busy wondering off into space to notice. "Maybe the champaign is making you go crazy, or.. Perhaps your thinking about something dirty..~? Ohhh I wonder what that could be." Laito teased.

"Tut... Don't be stupid, I just... Thought you were touching me, just go back to your stupid word game things or whatever it is that you find interesting.." Ena avoided the question, he could have sworn he was touching him.

"Hey hey don't ignore the subject..! Come on tell me, pleaseee..~ I won't tell anyone okay..? It's just me and you after all."

"Piss off.. I'm interested in making conversation." He sipped more from his glass, suddenly his cup was snatched right from his hands. "Haah..?! Hey give that back to me..!" Ena reached for his cup but Laito put his arm back.

"Ah-ah-ah~ Not until you tell me what you were thinking about. Come on I've grown bored sitting in silence." He smirked, something about bothering Ena breaking him till he fell to his knees. He liked watching him cry or burst out emotion. "Come on, tell me."

"Tch.." He sat back leaning back into the chair near the bed. "What do you think about love... Laito."

"..?" He looked at him, confused. He fell back his bed on his back looking up at the ceiling thinking about the question. "Love.. Non existent I'd say, 'I love you' why you can say that to just anyone and it might just get them to bed." Laito spoke. "Why do you ask..? Don't tell me you've started to 'fall' for me..!"

"Haah..? Don't be idiotic as if." Ena scoffed. The mere thought of loving Laito made him sick to his stomach. "I have no particular reason, my perception of love is similar though I believe it exists."

"And why's that..?"

"It just is.. I don't the energy to explain further." Ena looked down, at his pale ghost like hands. "My father.. He was gross and the object of my hatred. So he found things to love."

"Hmm..? I've heard stories of that man. I truly wonder what being raised by him must of been like. So what did he love..?"

"What do you think..? That brat of course, everyone likes that thing.. Everyone I can tell from looking at you with it that you like it to." He clutched his hands. "However it seemed it wasn't enough so he ravaged at other things as well.. He was a monster a demon even though he was human."

"Really now..? Just what else did he like to ravage on..? Do tell could that be what you were thinking about..?" Laito smiled, sadistically.

"Nn..." Ena grabbed onto the wine glass, finally being able to grab it from Laito's hand. Pouring more of the toxic liquid he oh so loved. "Anything and everything that moved.. Me to be exact, my mother. I heard even watched him attack and ravage her like a animal.. Yet..." He paused, the thought of his childhood memories circling back to those times made him feel dizzy. "His attention... His affection, he felt... It always went to the brat.. Always... It wasn't fair...—"

Crack. The glass in his hand broke splattering all over the floor, his hand bleeding mixing into the champaign liquid onto the floor. He breathed heavy, he hated that Laito could crack him open like a nut cracker. He hated his eyes, his sadistic smile, teeth and voice.

"Fufu..~ Seems I asked too many questions.." Laito laughed "I got what I wanted to hear though.. Me and you are alike in a sense aren't we..?"

"Don't be ridiculous... A human and a vampire alike..? You sound idiotic." Ena's hand grew numb, maybe it was just the alcohol in his system talking making his body feel numb. Could have also been the talk of his past as well.

"I suppose it does" He tilted his head looking off to the side, he had to admit it did sound a little stupid. "But that's not what I'm really getting at."

"Then get to the point..."

"You and I both know what it's like to love someone so much it hurts.. So much so that it just turns into burning hatred." Ena blinked in confusion. "You can feel them right..? You hear them whispering into your ears and you can't do anything but listen.. Me and you are alike because we grew up from lust and bad affection."

"..." He stayed quiet for a moment, then laughed for what felt like a long time. "Comparing yourself to a mere human..! A human from a clan whom killed most of your disgusting kind. Honestly you really are something Laito..! What a joke..!!" Laito continued smiling, Ena truly hated that.

Ena found himself in hysterics laughing himself senseless. At this point it was most likely the champaign. Laito reached for his bleeding hand. Not to care for it but to grab it. Ena smacked his hand away. "I don't your sympathy...!"

"Pfft... I wasn't sympathising with you, far from it actually. You're a sad human but I can't help but be interested in that sad person you are." Instead of his hand, Laito grabbed Ena's wrist pulling him to his bed, climbing on top of him. Their green eyes both aligned together.

"I'm not sad... I'm not angry... I don't care about Sumire or my father... None of them... No one..." His voice quiet. Ena's feet touching the glass and champaign on the ground cutting his feet a bit.

"You're right, you are a mere human, a human with human emotions.. Emotions you let run your life" His face closed in near his ear, his hand tightening Ena's wrist. "You're sad, an angry person.. Fufu..~ I know just from the way you are that you do love Sumire. No matter how hard you try you'll always love her."

"Haah..."

"It's funny.. Such a proud figure easily broken down if you pull at the right strings... Right memories, oh those painful painful memories.. Haah..." Laito opened his mouth, near Ena's neck. "You're weak.. So very weak.. You'll never admit it but me and you are alike even if it's only slightly.."

"...!!" Ena swung his left arm up, pushing Laito off of him he ran out of the bedroom. God why did he even go into that cage in the first place..? Maybe it was because he liked the smell of the room, not the room maybe it was Laito he enjoyed the smell of.

He slammed the door behind him. Leaving Laito alone once more in his bedroom. He smiled, he smiled once again. There honestly just was something about pushing that man to the breaking point that amused him. They were alike, even if only slightly. Laito wanted to see every ounce of emotion come out of him. Because it was funny a sick joke to him.

Raised on lust, no matter where they went. They felt hands crawling up their spins, the tiny whispers of no one in their ears. The feeling of being unclean, dirty and all.

Love is real. But it's painful, so mindlessly painful not even physical pain can compare. Ena and Laito knew that much.

꒷꒦꒷꒦𓆩 ♱ 𓆪꒷꒦꒷꒦

#diabolik oc #ena #ena kanashi #laito #laito sakamaki #diabolik lovers oc fanfic #fanfiction #scenario #ena fic #(( irjghriojefe ))#(( writing bout these two my favourite thing to do ISTGGG ))#(( Honestly though there's more to the two of them then just this ))#(( But this is what I wanted to put out and I am deadass liking it tbh ))#(( Time for sleep though cuz it currently 2am atm- ))

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darkerthanblack-666 · 1 year

Text

About my fic "Frozen"...

One of the posts of the series "no one asked", but I just need to release my thoughts into the void. Beware, spoilers incoming. If you still want to read it, don't bother with this post. Here's the fic if you're interested.

I'm not going to explain why I chose that song as a theme (you can read it in my fic comments if you're interested), because when I talk about something personal I don't like repeating myself (I wasn't in a good emotional state when I wrote it, either... for reasons I won't explain).

The topic I want to talk about is the tarot card I used there, it was three tarot cards in particular. The Fool, The Devil, and Death. The first two are very nice cards, but I'm going to talk about the last one here, because I find its symbolic and the topic it's related to very fascinating (I think it might be my favorite card in general, because I'm the local edgelady lmao).

First, I'll share the image of the card from my deck:

It's of course the death itself above the grave with the remains in it. There's a cat person (because the whole deck is cats) walking away from it.

The meaning of the card is transformation. Something dies, so something else has to start. The cycle of death and revival. NOT the actual death, so if you get that in your reading it rarely means something like that, usually it's the end of something. It has to die for something else to grow. It might be an intense, but beneficial change.

The zodiac sign associated with this card is Scorpio (which I have a huge mental boner for, like everyone knows already, I can never shut up about my Mars in Scorpio 😂) and its number is XIII, so it's pretty cool.

Now, on topic of my fic. The whole transformation into a vampire is literally dying and being revived as something else, something better, right? Your old, human shell has to die in order for a better being to grow out of it. First, Joel dies and Samy gets Taz (who's already a vampire) to revive him as one of his kind. He joins them, because he doesn't want to leave them (or be left alone), he's attached to his friends this much. That's one of the ways Death manifests itself in this fic.

Another one is Joel's suicide. He kills himself because of his broken heart and when he turns into a vampire, he's no more that sweet and sensitive man. He gets cold, humans are just food and sexual toys to him, he cuts himself off his emotional side. It's beneficial to him in a way, because he isn't in emotional pain anymore. Even Samy wants to keep Aleksi away from Joel, because his presence messes with his head. He wants to protect his friend from getting hurt again (especially after Aleksi says mean things about Joel... of course he has good reasons, but Samy knows Joel's past and he's protective over his friend's feelings).

One more meaning of Death is how it changes Aleksi. He's a very carefree, enthusiastic intern at a newspaper, wants to get a promotion and write something amazing that would get him the actual journalist job, so he risks a lot. He's The Fool, who plays with The Devil (Joel), which ends up in his own metaphorical Death when Joel almost kills him after biting him for the second time and drinking too much of his blood. When he wakes up, it's in his warm bed, with Joel being suddenly very soft with him and opening up about the trauma that caused him to become that emotionally "frozen" person.

In the end he promises to try to be nicer. It doesn't end with great love confessions, but with them agreeing to work on their issues together and treating each other with respect. It's a subtle, but very positive ending, because difficult relationships require work, not grand emotional displays and ignoring the issues.

So, that's basically it. I really like this fic and even if it's not popular (idk why tbh 😅), it's one of my favorites. If someone read all of my babbling until this point, thank you 💖

#.text

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konnorhasapen · 1 year

Note

Hey~~ for the Redacted Ask Game - Freelancer, Starlight, D.A.M.N. 💞

OMG HIIIII- (I literally was not expecting anyone to ask me anything💀💀 but I'm so happy people are :D) thankies for the ask!!

Freelancer (what is a skill you'd like to learn and be good at?)— I've bounced around interests quite a bit, and I know some stuff and can do that stuff decently, I'd like to think^^; the thing that I've been hellbent on recently is bass! I've been playing guitar for a few years now and I'm hoping that gives me at least a little but of a buff when learning how to play bass :)

Starlight (what is your favorite constellation and/or planet? What's your zodiac sign?)— My favorite constellation is Orion. I'd like to give a super detailed reason as to why, but I don't think I can. I don't know very much about the constellations—though I'd love to learn (I love learning about anything I don't know or understand tbh-)—but Orion is one of very few constellations I can see right from my backyard, and every time I look at it, I just feel kind of comforted? Little hard to explain and kinda dumb, but I'll stick with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

D.A.M.N. (how did you get into Redacted?)— This is a really funny story to me actually- it's pretty long so I'll put it under the cut.

I've gone most of my life being subject to my older sister and her incessant obsession with all things vampires and werewolves, so I grew to hate the whole genre altogether. Not to mention, as I got older and was still being forced to sit down and watch The Vampire Diaries with her (otherwise she'd cry and accuse me of not loving or caring about her and make me feel kinda shitty, so I just sucked it up lmao) I came to realize that it was just... horribly written. I'd say horribly acted, but I don't think I can fully blame them for the god-awful teen angst that was poured into that show by the tons. Anyway- when I got into the whole asmr rp thing, I was mostly just listening to normal boring domestic stuff (and comfort for trauma and all that blah-blah-bull). One day, I stumbled across a recommended video from Mr. Redacted ASMR (at the time) and was... less than interested when I saw it was an audio of a "feisty werewolf boyfriend" so I kinda rolled my eyes and continued with my boring normal human stuff. Then, few days later I'm hit with another Redacted recommendation, but this time it was a "nervous air elemental" I was still a little iffy bc this was the same guy who had the werewolf bf stuff, but I went ahead and added it to my playlist of "listen to later" anyways. And then proceeded to forget about it and never touched it.

Couple days after that, I was hit with yet another Redacted recommendation! And this time around it was "a flirty vampire," so now I was like "jfc, why am I getting this stupid vampire and werewolf crap in my recommended??" Scrolled twice, came across another "nervous air elemental" audio and shrugged as I added it to my list, but then promptly forgot all about it yet again.

It was a month and a half. I was still getting this "Redcated ASMR" guy sprinkled generously throughout my recommendations on the youtubes, so I finally said "fuck it, what the hell is this dude all about." Took a gander through his playlists, rolled my eyes again at all the werewolves and vampires in his most popular audios and decided to still steer clear.

Then, as someone who was evidently a sucker (no pun intended) for a good injury comfort, I was suddenly struck with an offer I was admittedly hesitant to take: "Vampire Tends to Your Injuries." I saw it was by that same Redacted dude. Finally, I said "fuck it" and gave it a shot. And now, here I am; one year later stuck in this rabbit hole I don't think I will ever want to climb out of.

(I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO MENTION THAT IM STILL SO PISSED OFF AT MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T JUST GIVE THE FIRST LASKO AUDIO I CAME ACROSS A LISTEN BC IF I HAD, I GUARANTEE I WOULDVE FALLEN IN LOVE AND GOTTEN TO LISTEN TO THE FRED AND BRIGHT SERIES BC I HAD BEEN GETTING RECOMMENDATIONS AND HAD AUDIOS SITTING IN MY PLAYLIST FOR OVER A FUCKING M O N T H BEFORE I ACTUALLY CAVED FFS-)

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multi-lefaiye · 2 years

Note

S&S ANON AND I DONT HAVE MUCH TO ADD ATM BUT IM GOOD WITH ANY GENDERED TERMS/PRONOUNS AND I AM PUTTING THAT DRAWING UP ON MY WALL LIKE A MASTERPIECE!!!

I do also wonder what even started the beings picking people to make deals with, since rn it seems like Cyan was the first to make a deal, with Red and Magenta following far behind (Red being second and Magenta just slamming accelerate and being third and fourth). Im also expecting someone to mention how Deedee suddenly has colored eyes too, im surprised no one has questioned it yet (probably just haven't had time to ask). Same with Scoob/Bugs, surprised neither has asked the other about it yet, seeing as they are most likely to understand what it means (i dont even think Deedee knows her eyes are different yet tbh, but i could see her connecting the dots and trying to dig deeper and trying to find more answers after noticing)

ALSO ALSO I JUST REALIZE NONE OF THE OTHER BEINGS BESIDES MAGENTA SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE. I say that but we've only seen Cyan speak, but i have a feeling that Magenta only spoke that language specifically for Deedee (for what reason, idk yet actually. Maybe to make her feel special in a "I can only understand you through my unique power" way, or to chain her to her ballyhoo in a "If you lose your ballyhoo, you lose communication to me" way? It could also just be that Magenta CANT speak english for some reason or another.)

HI YES HELLO SCOOB AND SHAG ANON MY BESTIE!!! YEAH THAT'S FINE, THANK YOU FOR CLARIFYING!!!!! ALSO I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THE DRAWING HEHE <33 I had to commemorate the occasion. Also apologies for the delayed response, I had to scream for the past 18+ hours. You know how it is.

Also yeah that's a really good question!! Honestly, this update answered a bunch of questions but also opened SO many more. I do agree that this is one of my biggest questions too tbh, and actually now that you mention it I wonder that too!!!!! I went back to check before responding to this b/c I had the thought that maybe the eye color changes are more for the reader's sake than anything, but no yeah Mick's red eyes are specifically referenced and called out ASDFJKL; so yeah confirmed the eye colors Are happening that way. So yeah now I'm curious why no one has mentioned Dee's eyes yet? I def agree that I don't think she's realized anything has changed about herself yet, but maybe once things calm down a bit someone will ask her about it.

As for Bugs and Scoob... I get the sense that it's very possible they both already know what it means for each other, and that's why they haven't mentioned it. It's very possible they had some conversations during the timeskip about it, or otherwise they just have a sort of understanding. I do definitely want to see if this is talked about further, which I'm assuming it will be now that we're receiving so many more clues. I want to see how these puzzle pieces fit together, dammit!!!

YEAH THAT'S SOMETHING I WAS THINKING ABOUT!!! I think both of your theories definitely have some merit to them (and I think the former is especially interesting, because that implies so much about Magenta as a character), but I also wonder if it's possible that the beings, by default, speak that way, and it's only after you've made a pact with them that you can understand them perfectly. Though that doesn't really explain how and why the pacts are able to be made..... okay I'm gonna have to ruminate on this a bit more.

#talk to the bunnykitty #scoob and shag anon #scoob and shag #WE BE THEORIZIN!!!!!!

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shdwwlkrsblog · 3 years

Text

I'm in love with an angel

Different naruto charakters with an angel hybrid reader

Some might be story some might be headcanons depends on what my ideas are

In here are : Kakashi , tobirama , madara

Warning : cursing

A/n : also even if no one missed me sad backgroundmusik starts playing , 'inhales' IM BACK AGAIN TO MAKE YOUR LIFE WORSE

Masterlist

Kakashi

When you first told him he immediately wanted to touch your wings and when he did , you began laughing

"wait that tickles? "He wondered and continued touching them making you laugh even more "Kakashi please stop for a sec" you said while laughing .he stopped and you explained him that they are ticklish as hell as long as you aren't in a "fight mood"

He asked you what the fight mood means and brushed a hand through the feathers making you chuckle " it means when I'm fighting or want to fight they aren't ticklish anymore " "but angels don't fight ?" "Yeah but I don't have a halo or access to heaven the only angel thing are the white wings but this doesn't really makes me an angel " "ah okay" suddenly you're teleported to the training fields

"would you mind showing me how you fight with the wings,?" He asked handing you a few kunais "Uhm sure " you prepared you to fight while Kakashi hid somewhere watching you . Once you were ready you jumped and flew around taking one kunai in your hand and storming into a tree but landing there and watching Kakashi running to the tree in worry .

You sprang on him making him fall back and held a kunai to his throat the shock on his face quickly transformed into a smile " that was clever little angel" he said and you smiled "thanks " "but you forgot something" a voice said behind you ' damn you and your shadowclones Kakashi' you thought and heard him sprinting towards you but you were fast enough to launch yourself up into the sky . " Pretty good" Kakashi sprang at you ready to throw the kunai and bring you down but you quickly blocked the kunai leaving him in wonder . "Chidori!" You looked behind you and as you do so the 2nd shadowclone was gone with a puff

" You wings seem hard enough, can they block Chidori?" He asked and you shrugged with your shoulders while landing infront of him "idk let's find out " you answered and put your wings infront of you as a defense . You felt the immense painburning on your wings but after few seconds it stopped and you heard an out of breath Kakashi "thats so powerful it only burned a few feathers but they are still protecting you . How?" You opened you wings fluttered with them and folding them. " Idk the feathers are hardened and sharper than usual i guess that's why and how it works but I still feel the pain " you explained and Kakashi brushed a finger fast on the edges of your wings stopping when pain shot through his finger . They were indeed sharp "thats pretty good for a fight " the crouched and picked up a feather "imma keep that " he stuck it into his pocket and teleported you both back home

Tobirama

He started taking some feathers from you and researched them to understand how they work he's really interested about them but when tobirama isn't his we need to research that and use it against uchihas in a fight self And is his soft self he loves that when you both cuddle you put your wings around him in a protective way

It let's him feel safe and makes him relax you can feel he's always near falling asleep and resting his head on your shoulder he once wanted to let you wings thinking it would relax you but wrong you laughed and he stopped "you're ticklish?" He asked and you nodded relaxing again in his lap putting your wings around him again you never thought of it as something useful but oh boy he did

Whenever you and him are in a fun argument or pillow fight (yes if he feels clingy he's another person) he's attacking your wings catching you off guard and winning the fight .every.Damn.time.

And sleeping with him is truly one of the sweetest things . Blanket ? What's that? He doesn't know it he only knows your warm wings . And when he's feeling really clingy he won't sleep until you put one of your wings around him

When you're on his back spread your wings to their biggest size and say " look you're an angel too!" His heart is melting and warm-hearted tobirama is active now " but you're still the most beautiful angel" making you smile and start a "no you "fight but he makes you accept you're the one

He absolutely loves how cute you look with those wings and how they move when you feel happy , sad , angry and when you're both alone he can't keep the chuckles and aawwwws in while looking down at the pouting you that wants attention

When he's at public his eyes are filled with love whenever he looks at you

Madara

End

" but angels have pure white wings don't they?" Was his first question when you told him about it" no that's what many people are getting wrong the color of the wings is random only wings bloody and damaged so they look like they can't fly are the fallen angels or how we call it dark angels " you said folding your white with some black feathers wings " oh and what can they do ?" He was extremely curios what those wings could do besides flying and making you look cute asf" basically depending on my mood or what I want to do they feel different when someone's touching them , when I feel normal they are ticklish and to not get tickled all the time I unequip them then there's when I get turned on they are a special way of sensitive " on madaras face grew a dirty smirk 'we'll have fun with this ' he thought " and then last when I want to Fight they get incredible hard and sharp " after finishing the sentence you were picked up and brought to an open area

"show me what you can do pretty angel " he let you down softly and went into his attack position "ok " was all you answered before you launched yourself up in the sky and looked down at him " Bring it on little human " you teased and he immediately sprang at you but it was easy to dodge him . You knew teasing him with "little" made him want to kick your ass really bad . "Katon!" You turned around and see met with flames you were able to dodge in the last minute now was your turn to attack you flew a few rounds around him before storming down then up again while realising razor sharp feather at him that broke through his chakra shield but to his luck he wasn't hurt too bad . You landed right beside him " you broke through an easy shield can you break through the good ones to? And how?" He asked pulling the feathers out of him

" i can break through normal and easy. Shield bc of a special liquid but I'm not able to one shot harder shields but I'm able to break them by shooting on them more than one time " you explained helping him up but he pulled you into his lap and smiled " my little angel " he cooed (is that right?) And you relaxed in his grip and put your wings around them "ah!" You screamed as pain shot through your wing and you looked at Madara who now proudly held a black and white feather and pulled a string out of his pocket and made a small necklace

" so I can remember you every time my little angel" he said and put it on . Madara pulled you closer "mads i thought-" "no one is going to interrupt us here" he answered your half spoken question and you put your wings around him in a relaxed and lazy way but he felt protected by it He stood up still holding you but changed it and put you on his back "relax imma bring you home safe" he started running and you put your head bored on his shoulder

Idk what to think of it tbh but anyways ask box is open , if the links don't work tell me have nice day/night

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hollowedwing · 3 years

Text

Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life

Hawks x gn!winged!Reader

Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing

THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA

(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)

(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)

_________________________________

tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part.

Word count: ~1,800

_________________________________

You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.

You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.

It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀

The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street

little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street

A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.

You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes

You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious

________________________________________

Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door

He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.

He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine

As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets

Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work

What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.

*******

Reader's pov(?)

*******

You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you

oh wait...

You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.

You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?

Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?

Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.

Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...

Then it hit you.

You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.

That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.

In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?

Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.

That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.

Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.

Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground

You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.

The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.

"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.

"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.

"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly.

“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.

“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought.

You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.

Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters.

" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.

Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.

"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.

"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.

"Well thank you very much!"

"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.

Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."

You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."

He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”

You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door.

Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events.

Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on.

You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess.

You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good.

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I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have

#hawks x reader #hawks x gn!reader #hawks x winged reader #bnha x reader #bnha x gn!reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #keigo x you #takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #ahHHHh i really hope this ok???#feedback might be nice? idk Dx #I'm still not in the flow of fanfic writing DX its been 5 years #geeeeZ #also I apologize for the amount of ellipses that i use #thats just how I text/talk kinda #isekaied into hawks life

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free!#nanase haruka #rin matsuoka

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bookofmirth · 2 years

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Hi!!

I'm back after been away a bit. I'm currently rereading acotar. (rather skimming through some parts because i don't really have the time, but i just wanted to read it again :p)

And i read some of your posts just now. And now i have a quick question, probably will have more soon :p

But do you think that if sjm had thought Mor's character and story through before releasing the books, azriels story and character would be perceived differently?

Because imo Mor's storyline wasn't supposed to go the way it went. I think Sarah changed it in between books... And because of the alterations in everyone's storyline it feels like sjm fucked everyone over. It also would explain why a lot of people see Azriel as toxic. I don't think it was supposed to be like that, but sjm couldn't really change the books that were already published so idk i'm probably babbling and not putting my thoughts in the right words but anyways!!!

Do you think that it could maybe be an explanation of why Azriel is suddenly toxic? Because sjm changed maybe some storylines along the way? i'm in the beginning of acowar and up until this point i don't see the toxic traits yet...

Anyways i could be totally wrong :))))

Have a lovely day/evening

Hello! I think this is an interesting question. Sorry ahead of time that this got REALLY long haha

It was in acowar that I started to side-eye Az - I LOVED him in acomaf. Seriously, I was always doing headcanons and fics and stuff. acomaf was all the parts of Az that I love, with none of the parts that make me go "yikes".

But in acowar I started seeing him differently mainly because he supposedly loved Mor so much, but 1) he didn't show any awareness that she is queer and in retrospect he should have, 2) he didn't warn her about Keir showing up despite knowing how it would affect her, and 3) his violence towards Eris during that High Lord's meeting did Mor more harm than good. Defending someone is all well and good, until you're hurting the person you're defending in the process!

After acowar, I personally stopped talking about him so much because I knew that all of my opinions were unpopular, I didn't have a ton of evidence for it yet, and why rain on people's parade.

Even though I am one of the people who points out Az's shortcomings, I don't think that Az has changed in his core from acomaf to now, because if we look at his characterization, it has stayed pretty consistent through the series! He's always been loyal, super hard on himself, hard-working, but with an anger underneath it all because of his childhood and his resentment towards Illyrians. I think that if anything, his "icy rage" is showing itself more and more frequently because he is lonely and he is jealous of Rhys, Cassian, and Lucien's mating bonds. So really it's that his behavior is starting to change, not that he's more or less toxic.

And tbh, I don't think that Az is currently "toxic". I still hate that word 😭It's so vague and feels like a fandom dogwhistle. People just throw that word around without it really meaning anything except "bad". How would we define it, even? I have no idea. Angry? Then literally everyone is toxic at some point. Sometimes mean and/or rude? Moody? Sad? Lonely? Occasionally losing our tempers? Again, then we would all be toxic. It's just such a useless word.

Personally, I think that Azriel has problems that are valid and understandable, but I don't like his behavior around certain women. The feelings are valid, the behavior is not because he's affecting the people around him in negative ways. He has a tendency to latch on to people he can't have because it's easier than being rejected by someone he really wants. It's why he's never been blunt with Mor, imho. I think his anger is getting to be a problem, that anger is based on events that happened in the first 20-ish years of his life, and he has never dealt with them.

All of these are solvable problems, and I am 100% sure he will work through them. I don't think he will actually be in a toxic relationship, but I can see him on a path right now that has a fork in the road - does he work through his shit and stop letting his anger hurt people, or does he let it take over and excuse it as self-sacrifice?

It's a very similar situation to what Nesta was in before her book. Does she literally drown her sorrows into oblivion with alcohol and sex, or does she get some better coping mechanisms and repair her relationships?

Now on to Mor...

Personally, I think that sjm was invested in making Az have feelings for Mor, that she wanted that to ultimately not happen, but that she didn't initially know how or why it wouldn't happen. This is pure speculation. But it seems like making Mor queer was an easy way for make that not happen and get some rep in the story. Two birds, one stone.

Something that reinforces this, for me, and this is one of my big issues with sjm right now, is that Mor's queerness has not mattered to the story whatsoever except for how it affects Azriel. That's... honestly just gross.

Queer people are always queer, not just when straight people notice us being queer. Mor was not written as queer in acomaf. If this were intended, then it would have been so, so easy for sjm to slip in hints that just made Feyre go "huh", just a little bit! She liked to go out to Rita's, but in acowar Rita's somehow becomes a gay bar that all these supposedly straight people never noticed was a gay bar? How many times have they been??? Cassian didn't even make mention of her being queer in acosf, even as he sat there wondering if Mor knows how wonderful she is? WHAT??? Az sidesteps that question every time someone brings Mor up to him?

WHAT???

I have a lot of very complicated feelings about Mor being queer.

I think that if Mor were written as queer from the very beginning, then people would have noticed these problems with Az from the beginning. As it is, just reading acomaf makes him just look like a pining sad boy. It's easy for us to romanticize "oh he just loves her so much and wants her to choose him", which was 100% me! I did that! I was such a slut for moriel! That's partly why I understand shipping e*riel - I was on that ship wherein sad boy Az was pining for a woman at one point in my life and I wanted him to get the lady. I really wanted that for him. I wish that we had known about Mor from the start, but again, I really think she just hadn't decided yet how to make moriel not happen.

I was chatting with @gimme-mor a while back and she suggested the thing with Elain came about so that sjm could emphasize that Az's inappropriate attachment to Mor is not about Mor, because that could make him... icky. Instead, if he shows a pattern of attaching himself to unavailable women, then the problem becomes deeper, and rooted to his past. It's not just that he has his blinders on when it comes to Mor being queer. It's an interesting take, and I'm curious to see if it goes anywhere! I don't think we will ever truly know her intentions regarding Mor and Az, at least not any time soon.

tl;dr I don't think that Az has actually changed, it's just that he is losing patience with being lonely and so his behavior is changing! And definitely Az would have been perceived differently, because I know that's where my (and many others') opinions about him changed.

#azriel #ask #acotar #mor #heleencollier #i probably could have kept writing #sjm critical

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