#but thanks for all the love and support you’ve shown me in just one month of being here

[omgeto]

EVERYONE IT IS MY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF MY BLOG TODAY EVERYONE GO CRAZY AND GIVE ME A REWARD FOR STAYING THIS LONG.

#my wifi is still out of my building so it won’t let me answer asks and stuff or barely make posts. #but thanks for all the love and support you’ve shown me in just one month of being here #it’s actually crazy #I love you all!!! #★ — emptalkshit!

[moonchild1]

 kim taehyung fic rec list (Ⅴ)

hello everyone i know it's been a while since i posted, work has been hectic, but i got some time and managed to finish a list so please enjoy i have a few lists ready to post so i'll que them up... here's my all time favourite taehyung fics, please show lots of love and support to these wonderful authors and their blogs, leave a heart, reblog or even leave a message or feedback under their posts i know they would appreciate hearing from you, some of these fics contain smut so no minors allowed you will be blocked ♡ feel free to recommend me some fics or just share what your reading right now i'd love hearing from you 🖤✨

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

only here to sin by @gimmethatagustd s a ft. namjoon

When your genius of a boyfriend returns to Harvard for his sophomore year of college, you never would have expected to have his worst enemy keeping you entertained in his absence.

our gray winter by @vyduan s a ft. jjk

“Were you looking for this?” Taehyung asked as he handed you the box of tampons you always bought. He remembered. You wanted to sink into the floor and die. Instead, you recalled your manners and said, “Thanks.” You put the box in your basket. “I can’t believe you remembered.” He beamed at you. It was patently unfair how he could look all glowy and soft while you looked… not like that. “Of course, Y/N.” If possible, Taehyung’s voice dropped even lower. “I remember everything about you.”

schemes and tricks to win her heart by @crystaljins ft. ksj

Rich company heir Kim Seokjin has a plan to win the heart of the girl of his dreams, and you, his little brother’s best friend, are dragged along for the ride. His younger brother objects, of course.

camboy!tae by @hisunshiine f s a

Give me all of your love, gimme something to dream about. KTH is your favorite camboy, and as a loyal subscriber, you are chosen to test out some new features on the platform he uses to go live. He’s really good at selling his viewers a dream, and as a thanks to a new milemark he’s hit on the platform, he’s choosing one winner to get their fantasy scene. 

tolerate it by @archivedkookie s a

Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.

what was hidden by @daechwitatamic s a ft. myg

This is how it all starts: Taehyung is flunking Western Lit. You're assigned to tutor him. His paper on Strindberg's The Ghost Sonata could pass or fail him for the semester. As you and Taehyung slowly become friends, then more, you learn that there's a lot more to him than you originally assumed. Together, you navigate your own experiences with the play’s themes: one's "true self" versus one's "shown self", darkness behind the facade, and how people can be quite literally haunted - and it has nothing to do with ghosts.

complete faith by @daechwitatamic

It’s Taehyung himself who admits that it’s usually around the one-month mark that he starts to lose interest in his relationships. So even though you’re so drawn to him you can barely stand it, even though he’s attentive and funny, even though you’re helplessly crazy about him… when you start dating, you feel like you’ve got an expiration date from day one. But will it be Taehyung’s issues that get in the way, or your own?

and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. jjk

it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung. 

with a brush of fate by @yoongiofmine f s a

Your roommate was sure she found you the perfect man. Her boyfriend believed he found Taehyung’s soulmate. The only problem was that you never wanted to date an idol and he never wanted to drag you into this life. Taehyung didn’t even know what he wanted anymore and was tired of being criticized for simply growing up. You just wanted to finish university and do something for yourself. What started out with the meddling of your friends became something neither of you expected. Could the two of you be what the other is missing? Or would things just fall apart?

groovy by @kinktae f s a

Even in the 70s, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t have feelings for your best friend’s little sister. 

tempting by @/kinktae s a

Y/N is an angel. She steers clear of the seven deadly sins, especially lust. She runs into a demon but, luckily for her, that demon doesn’t seem to buy into that whole “Angels and Demons are sworn enemies” idea. But unluckily for her, he just so happens to be the very embodiment of sin. Especially lust.

talk by @gukslut f s a

Finals week is kicking your ass, thank goodness you have a friend to help you relieve some stress. It’s a great arrangement, as long as no one finds out... as long as you don’t catch feelings. What could go wrong?

somebody to love by @cutechim

kim taehyung wins the heart of everyone he meets, and you—his self-proclaimed work “nemesis”—are not an exception.

tear you apart by @bratkook s

I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear, ‘I wanna fucking tear you apart.’ demon au

clairevont by @/bratkook f s a ft. jjk

The second year of college starts off with a bang until you find yourself tangled in between your fuck buddy Kim Taehyung and his innocent room mate Jeon Jungkook.

free use by @littlemisskookie f s a

You tell your crush you want him to have full control of you in every way always. He obliges.

lost myth of truelove by @sugalaritae f s a

for six months you wait for him, a weekend spent together, finally able to reach the man your soul is tethered to.

because of you, blue by @ugh-yoongi f s a

nearly a year out from your breakup with taehyung, jin begs you for help saving his failing restaurant. the two of you aren’t exactly friends, but you feel some stupid sense of obligation and, really, what’s the worst that could happen?

true love by @jjkeverlast f s a

in which you're face to face with your ex again after 5 years, because both of your friends start dating each other.

obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash s a

The world of magic is divided into dark and light, witches and warlocks, choice and fate. You’re a prodigy of light, a witch who works within the police force. You’ve heard of Taehyung in passing, spoken in whispers as the warlock of dark who has the world holding it’s breath.  All this changes on the night you’re assigned as security for a mysterious singer named V and you come face to face with Taehyung himself. What happens after that might be fate.

baby, baby by @hobiwonder ft. pjm f s a

When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.

entangled by @caelesjjk ft. jjk s a

He saved your life twice. But he’s also been your sweet lab partner in college for the past two years and now someone who is more than just a friend. You care about him…maybe even love him. But something tells you that you aren’t quite sure what love even is. How could you when you have feelings for someone else as well. Kim Taehyung is the handsome stranger you’ve seen around campus and somehow ended up dancing with at Club Onyx. You were upset that Jungkook had stood you up once again and Taehyung made you feel like you were on top of the world. What you didn’t know that night, is the dark secret Taehyung is trying desperately to hide, but the closer the two of you get the more difficult that becomes.

buzzed by @junqkook f s a

maybe ordering a vibrator and letting your best friend open your mail wasn’t such a great idea.

queen cobra by @fantasybangtan f s a

when your boss offers the chance to take down the nation’s most lucrative gang from the inside out, you know you’ll do it no matter what the cost… even if that means entering an arranged marriage with the kingpin himself.

pulse by @rohobi f s a

You fell in love with Kim Taehyung during Medical School. Now living totally different lives in completely different hospitals, you're pulled together again as if by fate during a code black when someone plants a bomb in your hospital. 

things we don't say by @wintaerbaer f s a

Three years after graduating college, everything seems to be falling into place for you: stable job, cozy apartment, and a long-term boyfriend with a ring box hidden in his desk drawer. But when a mutual friend makes a remark that your best friend of nearly two decades is clearly in love with you, you realize that life may not be as simple as it seems.

mars by @to-star-lake s a

ahistorical au, military au, yandere!taehyung

satisy by @suga-kookiemonster f s a

 “listen,” taehyung says, eyes wide and eager as he smiles at you. “i figure we can just help each other out. i scratch your back, you scratch mine.” but when you find yourself suddenly in need of a massive favor, exactly how much scratching are you willing to do?

no kisses by @icedmatchatae f s a

It's championship week! The most anticipated week of the school year; however, leading up to the events, you and your council must collaborate with the football team to promote school spirit and pride. Unfortunately, you're forced to work with your number one enemy, Football team captain and fuck boy, Kim Taehyung, known for having a mysterious "no kisses" rule.

beyond desire by @strwberrytae s a

it’s never easy falling for your best friend when you have so much history. it’s especially difficult when you both share the same sexual desires and lifestyle. taehyung is a dominant CEO of a well known company in Seoul and you are an up and coming editor. while both of you come from a troubled and dark past, you lean on each other for support and comfort. what happens as your feelings blossom and grow over the years? what happens when you fear taehyung may be falling in love with someone else? will you confess your feelings or remain in the shadows?

one-shot

crazy for you by @oddinary4bts f s a

 you’ve known Kim Taehyung your whole life. When you meet again at a party hosted by your best friend, alcohol looses your lips and you spill your secrets to your childhood crush. Will Taehyung give in to your desire, or will you be struck by remorse?

seventeen times 17 by @cutaepatootie f s a

You loved him Seventeen Times 17.

ten out of ten by @shadowkoo f s a

For the past three years, Kim Taehyung has made it his mission to annoy you relentlessly on campus, finding every possible way to drive you up the wall during your shared classes. However, as you both enter your senior year, something strange happens. Taehyung begins to sense a shift in his energy, realizing he might just have some secret feelings for you. What unfolds when you make this earth-shattering discovery too?

under wraps by @jungkxook f s

there’s nothing you and taehyung seem to hate more than each other - except for christmas. having recently been dumped by your (now ex) boyfriend only seems to make this holiday even worse. but when taehyung suggests that you should pretend to be dating each other to save you both the embarrassment, pity, and bothersome questions from family and friends alike for a fun carefree month of celebrations, you can’t possibly say no.

always the bridesmaid by @kookingtae f s a

When you first meet Kim Taehyung, you’re determined to find every reason you can to hate him—or maybe he’s just looking for ways to get on your last nerve. But when a turn of events has the two of you working the wedding of the man you’re hopelessly in love with, you’re too late to realize the real reason to hate Kim Taehyung is because of the latest column he’s secretly writing: “Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride”, and it’s all about you.

any way you want it by @noteguk s

in which your best friend, Taehyung, finds out about your unsatisfying sexual experiences and decides to put an end to that track record himself. 

sharing is caring by @jjkpls f s ft. pjm

Taehyung is taken aback when his soulmate, Jimin, introduces his new girlfriend to him. Jimin tries to help them break the ice.

the end of all things (and the beginning of us) by @/kidguk f s a

the end of the world has come and passed, but there is still much to live for. there’s hope, there’s tomorrow, and there’s that guy you met while scavenging for supplies in an abandoned cinema. turns out he hates being alone, and the feeling is mutual.

aberrant by @kth1 f s

Meeting a handsome and rare fox hybrid was the last thing you had expected in a world of coexisting hybrids. What you also hadn’t expected was how this fox found a liking to you, showed up randomly at places where you were and next thing you knew - you were falling, hard, for the man.

lost in you by @/jjkeverlast f s a

the infamous kim taehyung, campus fuckboy and heartthrob is much more than you thought after an unexpected night.

the dinner date by @diortae f (ao3)

pretending to be on a date with your best friend to get a free meal at the fancy restaurant jeongguk works weekends at doesn’t sound so terrible, all things considered. there’s just one small problem: you’re pretty sure you’re in love with the aforementioned best friend.

until yesterday by @jimlingss f s a

You and Taehyung are hopeless as you are hopeless romantics. But five months after tying the knot and saying "I do", you're hospitalized after a car accident with him. But upon waking up, the doctors tell you that you don't have a husband.

the forsaken by @yoonia s a ft. knj

In order to save your people from the danger of drought and hunger, your father had sent you out on a mission across the ocean to find the heart of nature that could bring back the prosperity which your land had long lost. As the Chief’s daughter, you took the mission as your responsibility, even if you had to let the man that vexes you the most join you in your journey, even if you had to ignore the Elders’ warnings about the dangers and all the vicious monsters lying in wait.

blacklist by @httpjeon f s a ft. jjk

after departing from your dom, you’re assigned to two incredibly powerful men.

1-800-music-street by @/httpjeon f s

↬you’re enchanted by a street performer and then he saves you, resulting in multiple meetings one can only describe as fate.

farner boy i love you by @strawberrynamjoon f s a

↬Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.

waterloo by @/kinktae f s a

↬Taehyung is a famous but pessimistic art prodigy who doesn't believe in love. You are an art student studying in Paris, who sees the world through rose-colored lens and is a certified cheesy romance film enthusiast. And this is your love story. Or, “Well, it is the city of love. Maybe you just need to fall in love."

get you the moon by @bymoonchild f s a

↬Life has its ways of fucking with you, but you know you’ve hit 50 feet below rock bottom after being tasked to do a profile feature on Kim Taehyung, the varsity football captain, for your school newspaper. Pure torment awaits you, but this is alongside glassy eyes, pink cheeks and conflicted feelings that you’ve never dared to imagine with the likes of the devil incarnate.

fate of the fast & furious by @prolixitae f s

↬you’re a first-generation college student and taehyung is the hot guy with a love for motorbikes who lands the job babysitting for your family while you’re away.

fast & fearless: what comes first by @/prolixitae

↬taehyung is used to earning his keep through illegal street races, and he’s got every reason to win that upcoming promise of prize money for an old friend. but when the odds don’t fall in his favor, he turns to babysitting. enter, you: a first-generation college student with too much to lose to be spending all your time with a troublemaking biker. who also happens to babysit for your kid brother.

cobalt blue by @hobivore s ft. jjk

↬you ask Jungkook to draw you like one of his French girls. 

let it snow by @/suga-kookiemonster f s

↬it all started by accident, but it continues by choice—even before you began sleeping together, things with your friend taehyung have always been comfortable and easy. simple, and this new arrangement between you is certainly no exception to that rule. well...that's definitely what you thought before a major snowstorm traps the two of you in his apartment over the holidays. now? now, it is quickly becoming apparent that things are a bit more complicated than you realized.

muse by @/suga-kookiemonster f s

↬this could finally be tae’s big break, but he’s nervous and struggling to find inspiration. luckily, you’re willing to support him in all ways necessary.

falling, falling gone by @johobi f

↬Taehyung. Captain of the soccer team. Master of your heart. You'll never tell him for fear of rejection. So why the fuck are you about to do it in front of dozens of his peers?

new tricks by @geniuslab f s

↬When your newly adopted puppy turns out to be a lot more work than you expected, a cute dog trainer comes to the rescue. You soon become friends, but you begin to realize friendship might not be all you want.

guns & roses by @chateautae f s

↬he was cold-blooded, stone-faced and ruthless; a formidable force anyone in the criminal underworld sought to destroy. and he didn’t care, so long as it was never you.. anything but you.

saudade by @chateautae f s a

↬a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.

strands by @xjoonchildx s a

↬taehyung can't figure out how he got separated from his men, or how he ended up stranded in these woods -- hurt. the only thing he knows is that he has no choice but to rely on the beautiful, secretive stranger who's found him.

cheap skate by @/gukslut f s

↬Who doesn’t know Taehyung and his lady? Cutest couple in town, I’d say, and have been since they started dating in their college days. Oh, that was a while ago, though. And still, they’re happy as can be in that place they have together. Almost hate seeing one without the other, y’know, it’s like seeing just one testi- oh, right, I’m not supposed to talk like that. Anyhoo, I only say that because I saw Taehyung at a jewelry store the other day while I was buying my sweet Jiminie his presents. Maybe that boy’s finally gonna pop the question, but I do hope he’s got a good plan for it. Something sweet and romantic. Maybe I’ll find out after Jiminie gets back from that cabin he’s visiting. 

definition of love by @taegularities f s a

↬When the gorgeous student from your literature class starts showing interest in you, you discover that there's much more to him than his know-it-all facade. But is this realization enough to get through your insecurities and secrets?

↬looking for other kth fics or the other members check out my library for more

#kiki's recs #moon's recs #kiki!fic!rec #taehyung #kim taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung fic recs #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fanfiction #bts fanfction #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung:smut #taehyung:fluff #taehyung:angst #taehyung x reader #taehyung oneshot #taehyung series #taehyung drabble #favourites!kth #taehyung fic #taehyung x you #taehyung bts

[mrsshabana]

♡ 𝑮𝒚𝒖𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒐 𝒙 𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍!𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔 ♡

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

CW: NSFW, 18+ MDNI, female reader, blood, gore, manipulation, smut, creampie, violence

AN: Thank you all so much for 500 followers!! I can't believe that this happened so quickly, it was only a month ago that I made my 300 follower special! I want to thank everyone who took the time to support me this far. And I'd also like to welcome everyone that is new here! There will be lots more Gyutaro content to come ~ ♡

Gyutaro doesn’t understand his romantic feelings towards you. He expresses them in ways that are difficult for you to decipher. So he just acts on impulse. Usually having no filter or boundaries.

Treats you like a toy. Similar to how a vindictive child would treat a small puppy.

He’ll make you cry just so he can be the one to comfort you in the end.

As a demon, he thinks he’s superior to you in every way. The only thing you have going for you is your pretty face and beautiful body.

He’ll coo and hold you close, complimenting your beauty only to claw at you flesh. Leaving wounds and bruises on your most beautiful features. He wants to destroy your beauty out of envy, but yet it’s what attracts him to you.

Before him, your life was meaningless. So now that he’s here, you don’t exist outside of him. Without him you are nothing. Which is why he keeps you stored in his sister’s obi whenever he’s away. Sometimes leaving you for days before he wants to play with you again.

Gyutaro grew a soft spot for you because of your juxtaposition. You don’t show disgust towards things that most people consider revolting, like reptiles or people that look different from you, but yet you are the most beautiful human he’s ever seen.

Every time Gyutaro thinks of your beauty, he claws deep red wounds into his flesh, fantasizing about gutting you alive, slitting your throat while digging his hands through your intestines. But the way that you look at him prevents him from doing so. You look at him with fear in your eyes, but without a hint of disgust. After 100 years of hunting humans, Gyutaro knows the difference.

It infuriates him that he can’t bring himself to hate you for your beauty. This frustration is always taken out on you. In the form of cuts and bruises.

But after being held captive for so long, you’ve learned how to behave around him. And things do get better. 

Gyutaro is incredibly intelligent, he just doesn’t understand emotions. Especially ones that he never even got to experience as a human, let alone a demon.

He can read you like a book. Always aware of when you are plotting an escape attempt or when you are lying to him. You learn quickly that there’s no point in trying to fool him.

The thing is, eventually you have grown a soft spot for the demon. The few moments that he is vulnerable with you, have shown you a beauty that you thought impossible for a creature such as himself.

After an argument with his sister, he’ll show you a side of him that you’ve never seen before. The sadness and deep anguish that he holds within himself. No one deserves to have such pains. Even a man-eating demon like Gyutaro.

You want to comfort him and heal his wounds.

As a demon, Gyutaro doesn’t have much sexual desire. He feels no biological urge to reproduce. The only urge within him is to destroy and devour.

But when you’re around, that all changes. Something within him yearns for your touch, your love.

He’s seen humans have sex before, and even though he doesn’t quite understand it, he wants to try. It’s not uncommon for Gyutaro to witness humans having sex in the district. But now, everytime he sees such things, he imagines what it’d be like to do it with you. The tent forming in his pants isn’t anything he hasn’t seen before, but there’s an urgency behind it now. Whereas before he’d be able to ignore it. But now it seems to control his every thought. Blood and carnage replaced by thoughts of your fragile body lying beneath his.

Gyutaro isn’t embarrassed about his desire to have sex with you. He will be completely open and up front with you about it, because he’s been surrounded by sex his entire life. So to him it’s just a normal thing that humans do. He doesn’t understand the social norms/stigmas surrounding sex.

During your first time having sex, it will be the first time that he’s careful with you. 

Once he is accustomed to having sex with you, he will start being more rough. Pulling your hair, biting your neck, and thrusting his hips into you so hard that you bruise.

He’s touch starved, so it makes sense that he gets overwhelmed by the pleasure of having sex with you. He loses himself in you. Fucking you like his life depends on it, moaning and groaning with every thrust.

Even after he fills you up with his cum, he won’t stop. 

He keeps going until he can see that you are exhausted. He may be selfish but he still cares about you. He doesn’t want to push you too far past your limit and risk breaking you.

Surprisingly he’s big on aftercare. Most of the time he’ll fuck you til your legs stop working, so he takes initiative in cleaning you up and tucking you into bed. He loves cuddling you and feeling you tremble in his arms from having orgasmed so many times.

Your sexual experiences with Gyutaro changes your relationship drastically. His feelings for you start to come through in less toxic ways as he begins to understand his feelings. But when he gets annoyed by them or they become too strong, he thinks that having sex will make it go away. When in reality they just make these potent emotions even stronger.

Showing affection towards him will usually calm him down. Once you are able to love him and he can accept your love, things get much easier for the both of you.

It will take lots of time, and the likelihood of surviving that long is slim. But if you do, it’ll be well worth it.

#gyutaro #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro x reader #gyutaro x y/n #gyutaro smut #kny smut #demon slayer smut #follower milestone

[kithtaehyung]

[ 231224 ] hey, loves! just wanted to hop on and say thank you for making this year better, despite there being a little less creations from me. some big leaps and decisions were made this year, and the amount of love and support from everywhere has been greater than anything i could’ve asked for. already planning big things for 2024, both with art and writing, so stay tuned!

just wanna say… 2023 was a year of high high’s and low low’s. shoutout to all of us for getting through life despite it kicking our asses for the past 12 months. let’s keep pushing.

and thank you for everything, no matter how you’ve shown up🫂💕 things are still hectic here so my more sappy post can wait until later, but💀 yeah. if you’ve been an active supporter or a more quiet one, all of you are appreciated and you are the reason i’m still here.

wishing everyone a good holiday season if you celebrate, and big hugs and love if you don’t no matter the reason🤍

#love y’all so much #happy holidays! #and here’s to a new year #personal

[blue-slxt]

Our Song Cord: Like I've Never Seen The Sky Before

(Chapter 6)

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: We've made it to the end! Thank you to everybody that's shown me support on this series! It's been a crazy ride since this is my longest story to date, but I'm happy with how it turned out. There's lots of baby fluff because I think it's cute. I hope you all enjoy it too. This is also very lightly proofread, so if you see any mistakes, no you didn't. Every chapter title is a reference to a song, so if you know the song, you get a cookie. I really really appreciate feedback so comments and reblogs are encouraged! All characters are aged up.

Series Masterlist

Previous Part

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Lots of Baby Fluff, Soft Domestic Neteyam, Smut, P in V, Mentions of Breeding, Mentions of Knotting, Oral (F receiving), Fingering, Making Out, Scenting, Mentions of Pregnancy, I think that's it

Word Count: 7.1k

Summary: Neteyam confronts you about your child and it changes both of your lives.

You gently lay Veyä on the soft mat trying to be careful to not wake her. She fusses a bit at the loss of contact with your warm skin, but quickly settles back down and you wait for her breathing to even out. Once you feel like you’re in the clear, you breathe out a big, but silent, breath of relief. You find yourself just sitting and staring at her little sleeping face. Her small ears flick wildly in her sleep and it makes you smile fondly.

Just as you stand to prepare yourself to sleep, the cover to your home flips open. It startles you a bit, but you relax when you see Neteyam standing there.

“Neteyam? What are you doing here?” you ask more than a little confused.

He’s silent as he looks at you. He slowly approaches you and you’re not sure if you should back away or not. When he gets close enough, Neteyam can notice the subtle changes in your face. How much rounder your cheeks look and the small bags under your eyes that you no doubt got from so many sleepless nights during and after your pregnancy. He stands there examining your face for a moment before his eyes fall to your baby who lay there sleeping next to you. There was no denying what he knew. If he had any doubt before, there definitely was none now. Neteyam falls to his knees beside Veyä and he watches the small rise and fall of her chest.

“Neteyam, what—” “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” his voice is low and even. Your whole body stiffens at his question. Your mind wants to shoot off your usual denial that you had become so accustomed to, but when Neteyam looks up at you and you see the tears filling his eyes, you know that he knows. There’s no more hiding.

“…I-I…didn’t know how to tell you…” you finally admit and it feels like letting go of a breath that you’ve been holding for months. The tears fall quick and steady down your face.

Neteyam rises to stand in front of you. He cautiously reaches one hand out to hold yours and when you don’t pull away from him, he steps closer. He brushes away your tears with his free hand and holds your face.

“You should have said something to me. I would have been there. You know I would have.”

“I was afraid, Teyam. You were supposed to be mating with someone else and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to jeopardize the future of the clan. And—”

“Hey hey hey, look at me. It’s over with me and Layao, okay? We called it off.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together trying to understand what he was talking about. “But why wou—”

“We don’t even like each other. She’s fine, but I don’t love her. I never have.” He pulls you in closer ever so slightly and rubs his thumb against your cheek.

“Really? But you guys always seemed so…together.”

“We were making the best of the whole thing, but I could never give her my heart. Not when you already had it.”

The tears come in full force and it feels like all the air has been stolen from your lungs.

“I love you. Oel ngati kameie.” The tears finally fall from his eyes, but he also smiles down at you. Your body feels like it will go completely limp at any moment. For so long you had dreamed of hearing those words from him. And now, here he was ready and willing to give you all of him. How are you supposed to turn him away?

“I love you too, Teyam. I always have.”

His arms fold completely around you and he holds you close letting you nestle your face in his chest. He kisses the top of your head and relishes in the feeling of holding you again after so long. Too long.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He mutters from above you.

“It’s not your fault. I didn’t give you the chance.”

“I swear, I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours and only yours. I just want to take care of you and our child.” He says still failing to hold his tears. The words ‘our child’ still feel so odd on his tongue, but it’s a good kind of unfamiliarity. His voice wavers a bit and it breaks your heart, but you cling to the hope for the future.

When Neteyam finally pulls back to look at you, he holds your face in his hands and gently kisses you. It’s so small and tentative, it reminds you of the first time you kissed. He’s so careful with you. But you don’t mind since that delicate care was just what you needed right now.

You break the kiss when you hear Veyä rustle around trying to get comfortable. Neteyam bends down next to her and admires her cute little face.

“She is beautiful. Just like her mother.”

You roll your eyes playfully at him, but the blush on your face is evident.

“She takes after you.”, you say nudging his shoulder. You yawn feeling the exhaustion finally catching up to you. “It’s been a long day. I should probably get some sleep.”

“Of course.” Neteyam says before lying down and making himself comfortable on your sleep mat. You watch him surprised, but he’s unphased by your shock when he holds his arms out towards you. You shoot him a questioning look, but he only urges you towards him still waiting with open arms. Hesitantly, you lay yourself next to him and he wraps his arms around you holding you close to his chest. His hand strokes the top of your head while he kisses your forehead and whispers about how good of a mom you are. If you weren’t half asleep already, you’d definitely be on the verge of tears again.

“Hey, Teyam.” You mumble into his chest.

“Yes, tìyawn?”

“I really missed you”

He gives you one more peck, “I missed you too.”

And with that, you let yourself succumb to sleep.

…

These days, you rise early. Your body had become so accustomed to waking up with Veyä in the wee hours of the morning that it’s just automatic for you now. Without opening your eyes, you wait and listen for sounds of her rustling around or fussing, but there is none. You silently thank Eywa that she’s still sleeping and so you turn back over to go back to sleep. When you reach out your arm, you’re surprised when there’s nothing there. No one right there. Your eyes shoot open and panic starts to set in when you see that Neteyam isn’t lying next to you anymore. You whip your head around and your whole body visibly goes slack when you catch sight of him sitting next to your mat. Your hand holds your chest trying to physically still your erratic heart.

“Teyam? What are you doing?” you groggily ask trying to crane your neck to see over his shoulder. You catch a glimpse of Veyä’s tail lightly tapping against his forearm.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. She was getting fussy and I wanted to let you get some more rest. I finally just got her to settle down.” He whispers turning his head to you so that you can hear him better.

You shuffle around a bit and scoot closer to get a better look and sure enough, Veyä is cuddled in close to Neteyam’s chest breathing deeply. You can still see the tear stains on her face from her episode that she had. One of your hands reaches out to lightly run over her head and smooth her hair.

“Thank you.” You mutter to Neteyam before pressing a kiss to his temple.

“I almost wasn’t sure she’d take to me.” He admits with a bit of guilt.

“Trust me, Teyam, she loves you. She’s loved you since before she was born. Every time I would talk to her about you, she would flip and kick all around.” You recount fondly.

A smile appears on Neteyam’s lips, but then his bottom lip quivers and tears start to fall down his face. When you notice, you hop up from your sleep mat and come to sit next to him.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“I…I missed everything. I wasn’t there for you; for her. I never felt her kick in your belly. I didn’t get to talk to her. I couldn’t even bring myself to stay and see her be born. You both needed me and I left you to do it all on your own.” More tears race down his face and his voice comes out shaky as he speaks.

Your lips press into a line feeling the guilt and shame radiate off him.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me, but I am so incredibly sorry and I swear before Eywa that I will find a way to make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Teyam. I should have told you. The important thing is that you’re here. And you’ll be there for her from now on.” Your head rests on his shoulder hoping to show him that you really don’t blame him for how things turned out. He leans his head on yours and sighs deeply looking down at his daughter in his arms.

“Veyä is a beautiful name.”

You smile, “I thought you’d like it.”

Silence falls over you, but it’s a comfortable silence. It’s serene. You close your eyes wanting to bask in this moment and commit every detail to memory. The smell of the early morning air, the steady rise and fall of Neteyam’s shoulder under your head, the tiny coos from Veyä securely clutched in his arms, all of it.

“I’m here to see my favorite girl! Aunt kiri brought toys!” Kiri calls out while wandering into your kelku.

Both you and Neteyam snap your attention to her and she freezes when she sees the scene in front of her.

“Oh, Neteyam! What are you doing here?” she asks awkwardly.

“Wait. Kiri, did you know that this is my child?” his tone is filled with disbelief.

“W-well, yes, but I wanted to tell you! Multiple times.” She says pointedly looking at you and crossing her arms. Neteyam follows her gaze to you and raises his empty brows at you incredulously. You grimace feeling the weight of his stare and cringe when he just utters ‘really?’.

“But it looks like you two idiots finally worked it out. Thank Eywa. Watching both of you dance around this whole thing was starting to get painful.” She says walking in all the way.

“I can’t believe you knew this whole time and didn’t say a word to me. You never even hinted at it.” He shakes his head at her as she comes to sit in front of both of you.

“Go easy on her, Teyam. I wouldn’t let her. But she was also a huge help to me during the pregnancy. She’s part of the reason we’ve been doing as well as we have. If not for Kiri, Veyä and I would be in a much rougher situation than we are.” You explain to him.

Neteyam’s expression softens listening to you. He can’t be upset with Kiri really. It wasn’t her responsibility to tell him. Plus, she was there for you when he wasn’t. If anything, he felt like he owed her his gratitude.

“Thanks.”

She playfully rolls her eyes at him, “Yeah, yeah, skxawng.”

…

Living the domestic life with Neteyam was an adjustment for all of you. Neteyam was eager to step up and step into the role of father for Veyä and you had to learn to take a step back and let him handle some things on his own just like you had to. But there were sometimes where Veyä just wouldn’t settle down for him no matter what he tried. But as soon as he would hand her off to you, she’d calm almost instantly. It broke his heart. All he wanted was for her to feel connected to him. Safe with him. One night, you could hear him sniffle softly next to you on the sleep mat. It made your heart heavy for him. You did your best to offer him some comfort holding onto him and pressing kisses to his shoulder.

“You’re doing a good job, Teyam. It’s just going to take a little time, that’s all.”

He’d turn and wrap his arm around you kissing the top of your head. He wouldn’t say anything, but he’d nod his head lightly listening to your reminder of patience.

Things finally took a turn for the better when you let Neteyam convince you to leave him alone with Veyä for a few hours while you went out to bathe and gather some fruits.

“Are you sure, Teyam?” you ask feeling flutters of apprehension dance in your chest.

“Of course. I think this will be good for us. Isn’t that right, my little tanhì?” he says cuddling Veyä in close and tickling her a bit making her laugh. “Just trust me.”

You know how much this means to him. And you trusted him, of course. “Alright. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done, okay?”

“Yes, yes, now go relax and we’ll be here when you get back.” He smiles at you while he gently holds a hand on your back to guide you out of your kelku. You laugh a bit at his antics and roll your eyes. “Fine, fine. I’m going. I’ll be back soon.” You say bending down to give Veyä a kiss on the forehead. “I love you. Be good for your sempu.” You straighten up and give Neteyam a peck on the lips before finally walking off to the pond to bathe.

“Now, how shall we spend our time, hm?” he smiles down at Veyä as her eyes watch him back curiously.

He walks back into your kelku and lays Veyä down on her back and he lays on his side looking at her. He wiggles a finger at her which she reaches out for. The unrelenting baby strength of her grip on his finger makes him huff out a small laugh.

“Strong girl. No surprise there, though.”

She uses her other hand to grab his finger and bring it to her mouth to nibble on.

“You know, you come from a great line of warriors. A line of toruk maktos and fierce fighters. And your sa’nu…she’s just amazing all around. I just know you’ll grow up to be just as beautiful and smart and tough as her.”

She continues to busy herself with chewing on Neteyam’s finger, but he hopes that his words will reach her somewhere deep inside and that she’ll carry that sentiment with her. When she finally tears her mouth off of him and looks at his face, she stares blankly at him for a minute or two. Neteyam doesn’t say anything or make any attempt to break her focus. After she’s decided on whatever was plaguing her tiny mind, she cracks a big, bright, toothless smile up at him.

Neteyam feels his heart squeeze in his chest. It’s as if he’s been hit with an arrow in the best way possible. How could something so small have such a massive impact on him this way? He can feel himself crumbling right on the spot. He knows that he would happily lay down his life if it meant protecting this tiny little life. Truly, is there anything as undoing as a daughter?

Once her smile drops, she lets out a big yawn.

“Looks like my princess needs her rest. Here.” He says picking her up and holding her flush against his chest. He lies down rubbing a hand up and down her back gently. The steady rise and fall of his chest while he breathes soothes Veyä into a quick slumber. Her tiny tail curls in towards her body while she buries her face in his chest. Neteyam dares not to move right now. He knows the repercussions that come with waking a sleeping baby. Plus, he wants to enjoy this moment for as long as possible. And before he knows it, sleep comes for him too.

The sight you’re met with when you return home completely melts you. The love of your life sleeping peacefully with your child curled up gleefully on his chest. Soft snores coming from both of them and their ears flicking back and forth sporadically.

‘They even sleep alike.’ You think to yourself trying to stifle a giggle. Silently, you place the basket of your fruit in the corner and sit on your knees in front of Neteyam and Veyä. As much as you hate to break up this touching scene, you know that it’s time to feed Veyä again. You carefully lift her from Neteyam’s chest making his eyes shoot open immediately to see who had dared to disturb his bonding with his precious baby. He’s relieved to see that it’s just you back home, though.

“Welcome home. I must’ve fallen asleep.” He rasps out still full of sleep. “I see. Looks like things went well.” You say smoothing Veyä’s hair where it had gotten a little messy.

“Of course, it did. I told you we’d be fine.” He finally sits up and rests his elbows on his knees.

“Yes, yes. My mighty warrior is quite the amazing father.” You lightly tease kissing his cheek making him flush a bit.

From that day on, you had both gotten much more acclimated to your new roles and lives as parents and building your family together. There would even be times where the roles would reverse and Veyä would only want her father. Neteyam loved to tease you about it to no end. You never minded it, though. It actually made you indescribably happy to see how attached your daughter had grown to him. Especially considering you weren’t sure either of them would ever even know about each other. So, if it meant that sometimes she would prefer her father over you, you were more than willing to live with that.

…

“Teyam, I don’t know about this. Are you sure they won’t be mad?” you ask fidgeting in your spot next to Neteyam.

“Are you kidding? All my mother has been talking about for months is how excited she is for grandchildren. They’re going to be happy. Trust me.” He says taking your hand in his and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“Okay.” You sigh.

You had let Neteyam and Kiri convince you to tell Jake and Neytiri the truth about Veyä. To say you were nervous was an understatement. You were essentially the reason that their plans for Neteyam and Layao and the future of the clan fell through. They were like family to you and the last thing you wanted was to make them angry or disappointed in you.

You anxiously readjust your sling with Veyä on your chest as you walk with Neteyam into his parents’ kelku. You’re thankful to see that it’s only the two of them home right now. This was going to be hard enough to get through without an audience.

“Well, well, hey there stranger. Look at you all grown up with a kid of your own now!” Jake says approaching you with a smile and wrapping you in one of his famous dad hugs.

“Our deepest sympathies about Aykxo” Neytiri says to you.

You squeeze Neteyam’s hand hoping that he’ll say something because you feel as if a palulukan has your tongue right now.

“Actually, that’s partially why we’re here.” He starts looking between both of his parents who now were eyeing you both in confusion. “Mom, dad, say hello to your granddaughter. Veyä is my child.” He states proudly.

Silence.

When you’re finally able to bring your eyes back to look at their faces, there is shock and confusion and some other third emotion that you’re not quite able to make out. Somehow, though, Neytiri looks less surprised than Jake.

“Wait, your kid? But that’s not possible, right?” he asks in disbelief. He looks at you and Neyteyam waiting for one of you to answer.

“It’s true, she is Neteyam’s child. I was never with Aykxo.” You finally speak even though it’s barely audible even in the silence.

“I—” Jake huffs out a breath cutting his own sentence short while he processes this new revelation.

“Ma’Jake…” Neytiri speaks up and gives him a look. It’s the kind of look that communicates so much without any words. The kind of look that you learn to understand after years and years of being with each other.

“Let’s talk a bit. Outside.” He says to Neteyam specifically.

“Yes, sir.” He says already readying himself for the lecture he was surely in for. “I’ll be right back.” He says gripping your hand one last time before he follows his dad out of the kelku. The silence left behind between you and Neytiri somehow feels even heavier on your shoulders than before. Her eyes scan you up and down and she tilts her head a bit at the sight of your baby.

“May I?” she asks gently holding her hands out. You’re more than a little surprised, but you nod anyway. Scooping Veyä out of your sling and placing her in Neytiri’s hands, she looks the infant over carefully seemingly examining her every feature.

Clearly, she recognizes the similarities when a warm smile crosses her face.

“She looks just like Neteyam did as a baby.” She remarks.

“The pattern on her head is just like his.” You add

“It is.” Neytiri brushes her nose against Veyä’s and she squeals with joy flailing her little limbs in her hold. “She is beautiful.”

“I have to admit, I was worried you would be upset.”

“Oh, how could I ever be upset to have such a precious grandchild? The Great Mother makes no mistakes. Besides, I already had a suspicion. You’ll come to learn this, but a mother knows.”

Neteyam and Jake come back inside and Neteyam immediately retakes his place next to you holding your hand. You raise your brows slightly at him silently asking him if everything was okay and he offers you a small smile in response.

“Alright, let me get a look at the little ball of sunshine.” Jake says walking over to Neytiri and smiling down at the baby. “Hey there, I’m your grandpa.” He says letting her grab his finger.

“Whew! Feel that grip! She’s a Sully, alright.” He laughs.

…

The next month felt like it flew by in a whirlwind. Neteyam moved in to your kelku, you introduced Veyä to the rest of his family, and did a lot of explaining. In just a matter of weeks, life as you’ve known it has been completely turned on its head.

Neteyam had insisted on adding one of the beads from his braids to Veyä’s song cord. The gesture was sweet enough to bring a tear to your eye

Jake and Neytiri loved being grandparents. Jake would fly Veyä around like something called an airplane. You didn’t really get it, but she loved it so that’s all that mattered. It surprised you at first how accepting his family had been of your situation, but at the same time, you were beyond grateful for their support.

Tonight, Jake and Neytiri offered to keep Veyä for the night so that you and Neteyam could have “date night”. It’s supposed to be a chance for the two of you to spend time alone together without having to worry about the baby. It was a nice gesture, but admittedly, you were apprehensive about spending a whole night away from her. You hadn’t spent so much time away from her before and it was a worrisome feeling, but they insisted it would be good for you. Plus, Neteyam seemed keen to have you to himself for a night so you agreed.

“Alright, Neteyam has his throat comm in case there’s an emergency and you need to reach us.” You explain trying to stall as long as you can.

“Yawne, it will be fine. It is only one night.” Neteyam says lightly peeling you away from Kiri who was holding your baby.

“We know how to reach you. Now, go have fun. Relax a little.” She says.

“Okay, okay. You’re right. But we’ll be back first thing in the morning.” You say caressing Veyä’s cheek with your finger.

“Say bye sa’nu!” Kiri gushes while waving Veyä’s arm at you.

“Thanks again. See you in the morning!” Neteyam waves goodbye to his family as you both leave. You do your best to hold it together, but a single tear still manages to escape from your eye. You try to quickly wipe it away before Neteyam notices, but of course he catches it.

“Oh, come now. Am I that miserable to be around?” he jokes at you trying to make you laugh. And it works.

“You know it’s not that.”

“Well, I think I have something that will cheer you up.” He says calling his ikran over.

You squint at him suspiciously wondering what he had planned for you for the night. He laughs a little to himself and holds his hand out to you to help you mount his ikran. “Just trust me.”

You sit in front of him during the ride while one of his arms holds you close around your waist. While you’re soaring across the night sky, Neteyam does a particularly steep dive making you reflexively hold on to his arm tight and let out a small yelp of surprise. He chuckles seeing your reaction, but he also secretly loved how you held onto him. Once he levels back out, you playfully smack his arm and he kisses your shoulder in apology.

He finally lands at a clearing near a waterfall where you can see the moon and stars more clearly than back home. The light of the moon dances across the water and you notice that there’s an assortment of bioluminescent flower petals scattered around a small mat on the ground next to the water.

“Neteyam…what is this?” your eyes are full of wonder as he helps you down.

“This is our date. I know it’s not much, but I thought it was pretty at least.” He sheepishly guides you over to the mat in the middle of the flowers.

“Are you kidding me? Neteyam, this is beautiful. You did all of this yourself?”

“Well, I got the idea from my dad.” He admits.

When you sit down, Neteyam runs back over to his ikran to unload a small basket that had some pxir, meats, and utumauti. He runs back over to you to set all the food down and you smile at his endearing display.

“You know these are my favorite.”

“Of course. It wouldn’t be complete without your utumauti.”

The smile on your face could crack your face in half. Suddenly, you notice Neteyam seem to become very nervous about something. His tail thumps lightly at the ground behind him and his ears were flicking wildly.

“Truth is, there is something else I wanted to do tonight, too.” He speaks up, but his eyes have a hard time staying focused on you. You tilt your head at him waiting for him to continue. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before he goes on. He comes to rest in front of you and kneels on one knee. He fidgets around with the satchel on his hip and pulls out a small bracelet to hold in his palm in front of you. At the center of the detailed braiding is an iridescent purple pearl surrounded by multiple smaller gemstones.

Your mouth falls open a bit and your eyes jump between the small piece of jewelry and his face.

“I know that this may seem redundant, but it only feels right to still do this…I love you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. And I love our child and the life that we have together. No one else knows me like you do and no one else can leave me breathless like you. Every night, I thank Eywa for the privilege of holding you close. I never want to be without you ever again. So, will you be my mate?”

The tears fall fast and steady down your cheeks while Neteyam pours his heart out to you. It feels like all of your emotions are stuck in a ball in your throat preventing you from speaking properly. All you can manage to do is nod your head at him. The light of his smile rivals that of the moon right now. He takes your wrist in his hand and fits the bracelet around you. Your hand covers your mouth to stop the small sob that tries to escape.

He brushes away your tears with his thumb. “Was it too much?”

You quickly shake your head at him. “No, it was perfect, Teyam. I’m just really happy.”

His arms wrap around you and you bury your face into his chest smiling to yourself. When you look up at him, his smile still hasn’t left his face. Your lift your face to his to kiss him and he’s more than happy to return the gesture. His hold on you tightens and you breathe out a small moan against his lips. The sound sends a shiver through Neteyam’s body. He tries testing the waters by parting his lips slightly, but before he can lick your lips, your tongue is already invading his mouth eagerly. He can’t help but smile into the kiss.

You’re not sure if it’s the emotions getting to your head or the overall atmosphere around you right now, but you feel this need to have his hands on you. You grab his hands and guide them to your hips and you can feel how he’s putting forth all his effort to show some kind of restraint with you. You press your body more into his to let him know that he doesn’t need to hold back. He finally starts to get the hint when you feel his tail sneak its way to wrap around your thigh.

“Yawne…” he says against your lips. It’s meant to be something of a warning, but the way he growls it out makes all the blood rush to your head and make you dizzy.

“Yes, sayrìp?” you ask still not taking your lips off his.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Oh, I know you’ll make sure I finish.” You look up at him feigning innocence and he just smirks at you.

“You are something else, you know that?”

“Of course. That’s why you love me.”

He pulls you into his lap and rests his hands on your hips. The gesture is familiar and oh so missed. “I suppose you have a point.” He says starting to kiss your neck and lightly rock your hips back and forth on top of him. Your head lulls to the side opening yourself up to him more.

“Just don’t get me pregnant again yet.” You half-joke.

He chuckles lowly to himself, “No promises.”

“Teyam…” it’s your turn to warn him, but it comes out more as a moan than anything, spurring him on even more.

“You’re so pretty pregnant. Carrying my baby. So beautiful” he halfway mumbles while he carries on scenting you. It feels like he won’t be satisfied until he’s completely drowned you in his scent. Eywa, you missed this. Your mind is telling you to be careful, but it’s powerless to stop your body from naturally pressing more into him and moving your hips. Neteyam’s hands run up and down your waist and hips and thighs, only stopping when he lets one wander between your legs. There was no way of getting around how soaked you were right now and he loves it.

“See, look how ready your body already is for me.” He says licking a long stripe up your pulse point and letting himself get drunk off your scent.

You can’t deny it, your body trembled with anticipation under his touch. And you make no efforts to stop him when his fingers slip past your loincloth and drag themselves through your slick.

You gasp when he slips a finger inside of you and curls it in just the right way that he remembers you love. It feeds the carnal part of your brain that wants to submit to him completely. And so you do.

“Ahh…Nete…”

His hold on you tightens and a low growl rumbles in his throat.

“Fuck, I missed hearing you” he says picking you up and laying you on your back still keeping his fingers inside of you. He quickly finds that one special spot that only he could reach and it makes you throw your head back in lust. Even after all this time, he still knew your body so well. But you still knew him too.

You tease him by just lightly dragging your fangs over his neck. With his lips right next to your ear, you can hear clearly how his breath stutters. Neteyam loved for you to mark him and stake your claim over him and now you could without restraint. The slow drag of your teeth against his skin made goosebumps appear all over his body. The waiting was torture. It makes his cock twitch with need.

He decides that he’s had enough of your loincloth being in his way of what he really wanted. He only pulls his fingers out of you long enough to slide your tewng and his off. He palms his fully hard length while he drinks in the sight of you for the first time in so so long. It’s almost like a compulsion when he dips his face down to bury it between your thighs and his tongue swipes across your clit.

Your whole body jumps at the contact. He presses messy, open mouth kisses to your cunt, sucking lightly on your swollen clit. “You taste even better than I remember” he kind of mutters to himself between devouring you like a man starved.

“Mmm! Neteyam! I’m gonna cum!”

He hums out a response with his tongue buried inside of you while he strokes himself faster. When he swirls his tongue around, he swipes a spot that fully makes your thighs try to squeeze together around his head.

“Ah! I’m cumming!” you moan just as it finally crashes into you. Your whole body seizes and Neteyam greedily laps up all of your overflowing arousal while you ride out your high against his face. Your hips buck and jerk against him as you slowly try to come down. It’s easier said than done when Neteyam won’t stop licking up every last drop of you. From the inside of your thighs to directly from the source, his mouth is all over you.

“Nete…n-need you…please”

He’s just about at the edge of his own patience by now, too. He sits back on the balls of his feet to line himself up with you so he can slide in slowly.

You’re not used to the feeling anymore. It’s unfamiliar, but at the same time, it feels like finally sliding the last piece of a puzzle into place. There’s this sense of ‘oh, this fits perfectly here’. Neteyam clings to whatever shred of sense he still had left to make sure he doesn’t do too much too fast with you. It feels like you lose more of your mind with every inch he sinks deeper into you until he’s fully bottomed out in you. He holds himself still so you can adjust to the feeling again, but also because he’s afraid he might cum too quickly if he doesn’t take a second to take a deep breath or two.

Your arms fold around his neck pulling him in closer and you can see how the bottom half of his face is glistening still covered in you. His eyes watch you looking for any signs of discomfort, but also just because he loves to watch your face when he first slides in you. You offer him a small nod letting him know that you’re fine and he takes his time dragging out of you and pushing back in. It’s a slow roll of his hips back and forth into yours. Long, loving, powerful thrusts that press into your sweet spot perfectly.

“Mmf!...Ha-ahh…right there” you whimper out.

All the sweet sounds spilling from your lips is too much for Neteyam. He can already feel his knot starting to grow.

“Shit…” he says under his breath. He thinks about it for a while in his own mind. He thinks about knotting you again and thinks about the eye-rolling pleasure it would give both of you. He thinks about getting you pregnant again. Using your cunt however he pleases to breed you over and over again to ensure it takes. Filling you until it’s literally having to spill back out of you. There’s not a single thing he wants more right now than to stuff his knot into you and let nature take its course.

Thankfully, he’s able to remain logical enough to stop himself from doing so. He knows it would be unwise, to say the least, to get you pregnant again so soon. But fuck, you make it hard when you’re looking at him like that and digging your nails into his skin from how hard you’re holding onto him while he fucks into you.

“Ah! Ah! Great Mother! I’m cumming again!” your eyebrows scrunch together as your face contorts in ecstasy when your orgasm takes you for the second time tonight even stronger than the last one.

“Oh, fuck, me too” he says gritting his teeth still struggling against his body’s primal need to fill you. At the very last second, he pulls out and watches as his seed spills onto your lower abdomen instead.

Heavy panting breaths fill the air as you both come down. You look at the mess he’s made on your stomach and shoot him a tired smile.

“Smart man.” You say making you both laugh.

“Just consider yourself lucky that my willpower is so strong.” He responds.

For the rest of the time that you’re there, the two of you alternate between eating the food that Neteyam brought and taking your time relearning each others’ bodies. It feels familiar and comfortable just like it used to, but now, you don’t have to worry about hiding.

…time skip…

“Sa’nu!” your daughter’s small voice calls out to you as she eagerly runs to your side. You sweep her up in your embrace and spin her around while wild giggles jump from her throat.

“Yes, ma’ite?” you say while snuggling her closely against you.

“How did you and sempu meet?” her voice is filled with innocence and her big eyes blink at you.

You cock an eyebrow at her, “Well now, where did that question come from?” Your daughter was only 4 years old, but in all of her years, she’s never inquired about you and your husband’s relationship. It was never really necessary.

“Well, Ipxpa said that Uncle Lo’ak and Aunt Layao told her that they met because of you and sempu. But how did you meet?” she inquires genuinely. You chuckle a little to yourself finding her curiosity endearing.

At the same moment, your husband walks into your kelku. “I heard my name?”

“Sempu!” you watch your daughter run and throw herself into your husband’s arms and nearly knock him back.

“Woah, did you grow even more since I left this morning? I swear you’re getting bigger every time I turn around.” His fingers tickle at her sides making her squeal and squirm in his grip.

“How was the hunting trip, sayrìp?” you say making your way to his side so he could place a light kiss on your forehead.

“It went well. We have plenty of meat to get us through several weeks. But, more importantly, how are you, ma love?” he asks looking down at you still holding your daughter in his arms.

“I am fine. We are all fine.” You reassure him holding your hands against your slightly protruding lower abdomen. “Your son has a hunger that would rival your own.”

A proud smile crosses Neteyam’s lips and his hand lands on top of yours. “He is strong. That is good.”

You smile contently feeling your unborn baby wiggle at his father’s touch.

“Our daughter is wondering how we met.”

He raises his would-be eyebrows at you, “Oh really? Well, that is a fun story.”

“Oooh I wanna hear it! Please, sa’nu!” Veyä clutches her hands together and pouts her lip at you.

You throw your head back relenting, “Fine, fine. Come, sit.” You instruct her and she worms her way out her father’s grasp and sits cross-legged on the floor in front of your sleeping mat. Thinking about the full story, you realize that you’ll have to leave out a few details that she doesn’t need to know.

Your husband holds your hand to help guide you down to the ground on your mat.

“Well, it was a long time ago. Long before you were born ma’ite.” You begin and her face lights up with wonder. “Your sempu was in love with a different girl!” she gasps dramatically and looks at her father full of scandal making you laugh.

“Hey now, if you’re going to tell the story, then tell it right!”

“Fine. Your father and I had been in love our whole lives, but we had to keep it a secret because he was supposed to be with someone else.”

The three of you settle in so that you can listen to the story as you recount it fondly until you notice Veyä’s eyes starting to droop.

“Look’s like someone needs a nap” you say pausing the story.

“Noooo, please keep going sa’nu!” she protests even though she’s clearly struggling to hold her eyes open.

“We can finish when you wake up, tanhì” Neteyam says scooping her up in his arms and holding her against his chest. You could tell he about ready to settle in for some rest too. You figure you might as well join them and finally rest your exhausted body. You scoot in to Neteyam’s side while Veyä curls up on his chest just like when she was a baby and Neteyam holds a hand around both of you and kisses both of your heads while you all slowly drift off to sleep.  

Taglist: @soleilmoon @netemoon @fifia-writes @strangersav11

@eywascall @neteyamsluvts @heart-an0n @iman-lu @xylianasblog @theunfortunateplace @hyejusdiary @savvysscandles @randxmthxughts @yeosxxx @atwow69 @bellstwd @iseeyouuu @simp4ff @universal-s1ut @mynameisjuno @teyamsatan @uaze123 @nelissecrectplace  @angrypomeranianwifey @perfectxserendipity @yumimak @rainbowturdz @rhiannonhippiegirl @sullymenrhot @hiddensnow1 @rainymoonsheep @ivysully @badbussylol @afro-hispwriter @fandom-geek17 @teyamsmate @iameatingmyhair @leaveitbythewave @battylupin @angie-1306 @skywonder @criticallybella @xreadersstuff @yunho-leeknow @tiredmamaissy @hadesbabygurl @angelaut0matec @ntymavtr @shhhhhhh162 @solanasmh

(Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist. If your tag isn't working, please check your settings.)

#avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #avatar fic #awow #neteyam x na'vi!reader #atwow #atwow neteyam #avatar twow #avatar neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar smut #neteyam smut

[winterrrnight]

rant + potential renewal of new beginnings

hello <3 so, something has been bothering me a bit for the past few days now, and I need to let it out. (more below the cut!)

I have seen people express their concern here regarding Rafe being written “wrong”, that is when he’s way too much of a softie, a romantic, etc etc. That really struck a chord in me because if you’ve read any of my content, you’d know I write a lot of soft!rafe/fanon!rafe. And even though no one has ever said to me directly that I’m writing Rafe “wrong”; when I read the post, it really hit me for some reason.

I totally understand if that isn’t your cup of tea. That’s okay. I wholeheartedly agree with the fact that I do write Rafe very differently from how he is shown canonically. But, I unfortunately don’t have an explanation as to why I do it (and now that I think about it, I don’t essentially owe one either). To add, there are so many authors for Rafe on here, so you can engage with all sorts of Rafe content; fluff, smut, dark!rafe, etc etc. I don’t read or write dark, nsfw content because it’s just not me.

I’ve been writing for months now, and never did I ever stop and question my writing the way I’m doing right now. Which leads me to really doubt everything I’ve ever written – even though the said post was never ever directed to me, it was a public announcement, it still felt like such a personal jab. (I am not even mutuals with the one who made this post, so honestly I don’t even know why it is affecting me so much).

I guess this is why my requests plus really old 300 followers celly requests are piling up, and I’m really really sorry for that. It’s a weird slump I’ve hit, and honestly I am not able to make my way out of it.

I was attempting to work on future chapters for New Beginnings, but failed miserably because I realized how fanon that Rafe is. And even though I have had so much love on New Beginnings so far (which I so so highly appreciate), it just isn’t sitting right with me right now, and I can’t find myself with any motivation to work on it. I also fear that the more the story ascends, I will lose engagement.

So, at the moment, I am not taking the story down or anything!! It is right there, but here is what can potentially happen:

-> I may never resume it, and have its three chapters up on my blog just like that.

-> I may take it down, renew it, and post a better version of it, one that suffices me.

-> I take it down (which, let me add, has minimal to no chance of happening because I don’t want to make any spur of the moment decisions).

The trope of the story has my whole heart, I just think I can take a better approach. So the chances of the second one happening are really high at the moment.

Thank you so much for reading, thank you so much for understanding <3 writing means the whole world to me so I wish for nothing but to escape this horrible slump :(

I hope you all are doing okay, please keep on taking care of yourself, drink water, eat some food, and just enjoy living 🤍🎀

Signal boost to spread within my moots (who are the literal reason I live and breathe 🥹 + people who have been so supportive of new beginnings it is crazyyyy): @runningfrom2am @maybankslover @totalswag @chenslucy @wallsdreams @sadfury @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @rafeinterlude @congratsloserr @bejeweledreverie @tortured-poets-depxrtment

(no pressure to interact!)

#rafe cameron #rafe #new beginnings #drew starkey #edith rambles! 🪄 #written by edith! 🪄

[everafterhighliveaction]

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 February Update 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

hello everyone! my name is katelyn, my pronouns are she/her, and i am the owner of this account.

it’s officially been one month since i started this account, and i just wanted to express how grateful i am for all the love that the content i’ve put out has received; seeing people interact with a fandom that i assumed to be dead for a very long time is really exciting to me.

i’ve decided that i’m going to give monthly updates of what kind of content i’ll be putting out, how much content, and how frequently.

as of february 14th, i will be aiming to post a minimum of once a day, with a maximum of three times a day. as i’ve stated in a recent post, i’m planning on posting playlists for characters and ships soon, hopefully before the end of this month. i will continue to post head canons, but collages of characters will be few and far in between; i’m actively working on aesthetics for background characters and a few characters from specials.

i will be trying my hardest to stay true to this, but i would also like to remind everyone that at the end of the day: i am just a girl; i (unfortunately) do have a life and a job outside of posting my fun little character aesthetics.

if there is any specific content that you want to see, please feel free to submit suggestions or ideas!

again, thank you so much for the support you’ve shown this account. likes, reposts, comments, submissions, follows, etc are seen and deeply appreciated. i adore you all! until next time <3

#ever after high #ever after #ever after academy #eah #ever after high live action #ever after high irl #ever after high headcanons #update #account update #monthly update

[marbarmars-arts]

So...I MAY have been collecting Fawfuls like pokemon cards <3

(and what the heck do I mean by that exactly??) WELL in a discord GC my friend Parmy suggested we’d imitate each other’s art styles as like a collab of sorts? Well...I kinda took that a step further heheh ^^

(And fun fact...this was supposed to be something I was gonna do for AU day of Fawful month too, but that idea got cut due to time)

So may I present...the different Fawfuls I drew!! For my friends/cool acquaintances!

So the one who led up to this in the first place, Fawful from @parmsnik AU!! He is dating/eventually marrying Naspi depending on where you’re at in the AU haha! Your way of drawing Fawful seems to change a little bit each time you draw him, so I tried to my best to guestimate a consistent looking Fawf! Very cute!

Up next is Fawful from @the-spacewaffle AU!! Yippee Ronnie’s AU! Thanks for being my friend for so long,,to talk about Fawful and all that stuff y’know? I’ll be cheering you on to complete the story qwq your Fawful is always so nice to my OCs when we crossover khskdjh also...pet the Reddo!

Eee yay now it’s @snuffydoo Fawful and his AU title I totally made up on the spot! I know you don’t really have a name for that kind of thing and it doesn’t have to be canon but I hope you think it’s cute anyways haha! I had a lot of fun drawing this one!! It’s so stylized! AND IT HAS DIMMY (I enjoy your Dimmy artstyle sm) but I don’t draw Spamton very often kjhskgh

Here’s @federthenotsogreat Fawful AU of sunshine goodness~! HE RETURNITH (and since I couldn’t think of another character to feature with your AU...not knowing if Cackletta is there or not jhgskg I gave him a cute little swirly sun!) I admire the fact his outfit is mostly YELLOW and also blue those are cool colors OH AND THAT LEG TOO, also super cool :)

The smol and cute @omgtheywereroomates Fawf! Your ask blog is so neat! I know I don’t ask too many questions there but I just,,,the cartoony fluffy hair?? Love that, and also thank you for your support and the super cool ship as well ^^ 

Heheee yeah hey it’s @cammiluna Fawful from Immortal Fool! Before you say anything YES I’m aware he’s got the new design since it’s near the end of the comic, you released the page that featured said new design while I was already working on this drawing xD So whoops! I just wanted to give appreciation to your comic series that you continued despite everything, and well...I know I haven’t shown much progress on it, I also want to make a comic series...so you’ve inspired me a lil :D

Deep down here there’s a little AU by @aliencatwafers which features Fawful in the sewers! With the little baby bros!! You’re a very insightful and inspiring writer with plenty of neat headcanons and ideas for the bean! Ik you mostly draw in pencil but I took the colors from your submissions to Fawful month this year and used em here! Hope it looks cool!

This little gremlin here with the two moms is Fawful from @bean-n-shroob ask blog! He looks very silly and unhinged (in a good way) and I hope he’s having a good time since after BIS! I love how round your designs are and Fawf is no exception :D

Last but not least is this VERY soft Fawful from @localdealmaker​ and their AU, whose title I made up too (again doesn’t need to be canon or anything if you don’t want it to be, I just wanted to give every drawing a cute name ^^) I think yours was the most complicated to draw for me but I love how he looks, so squish!! Kaboo is cute too!

WHEW THAT WAS A LOT OF TYPING KSJHKGH but yeah I hope you guys have enjoyed this...I might make another part someday full of more Fawful designs from friends but I AM A LITTLE BURNT OUT...doesn’t mean I didn’t have fun tho!

#Marbars2023 #Fawful #AU #oc x canon #Superstar Saga #partners in time #bowsers inside story #dimentio #spamton #cackletta #baby mario #baby luigi #Naspi #Reddo #Kaboo #so many Fawfs!

[simplysolo]

simply’s back! (sort of?)

hey everyone! just making this post to give a little life update to those wondering what’s been going on

1. I am feeling much much much better since when I had initially logged off for a bit; I wasn’t really used to being on here so often for so long, so I needed a bit of time off to adjust. Biggest “thank you”s and “I love you very “much”s to my mutuals and everyone who sent me messages with support, I don’t even have the words to express my gratitude for the amount of love you guys have shown. Kisses for all of you xx

2. Thank you all for the love you’ve shown to my art while I was gone!! One of my posts had reached 1.2k notes which is mind-blowing, so thanks for all the support everyone’s shown for this blog

3. I did make some more art while I was out! Keeping consistent with sketching was grounding me a bit every day, and it has been so great to be able to reconnect with my art lately. More to come! Dropping some silly sketches just for funsies:

4. I got to watch Dune Pt. 2 opening weekend (which was seriously the only thing keeping me going at one point) and HO BOY was I kicked with inspiration to write again! No promises, but maybe I’ll start posting some of my writing on here if anything comes to fruition

5. I say I’m “sort of” back because, well, Ramadan starts on Monday; I wanna take advantage of this month to the best of my ability, so I probably won’t be interacting much on here for the next month. That doesn’t mean I won’t be hovering around, though, so feel free to hit me up anytime to talk!

6. With that said, I’m gonna be catching up on as many of my moots’ wonderful fics as I can this weekend!! pls don’t mind me popping into your inboxes/dms every now and then to gush about you all ❤️

ok i think that’s it. will edit if i remember anything!

#simply speaks #again thank you to everyone who gave me love n support #you know who you are #you guys are so amazing and i love you sm #💋

[jrob64]

Saying Goodbye and Moving On

An OUAT Canon Divergent fix-it fic

Here is my entry for CSSNS 2023, which was written to fix what I thought was a grievous wrong in the show. All of you need to know that I wanted to make @kmomof4 a co-author because she did so much to help me with this story, but she refused. Several tragic things were happening in my life while I was writing this story and she talked me through it - giving me ideas for the plot, encouraging me to keep going, checking it over when it was incredibly full of errors or didn't make sense, and just generally being the best friend and supporter I needed in order to finish it. On top of that, she created the gorgeous pic set you see at the top, with some manip help from @motherkatereloyshipper. Thank you so much, ladies! I love it!

Many thanks to @hookedmom who was my official beta once again.

SUMMARY: Killian has returned to Emma from the Underworld and they are starting to build their future together, when a ghost from his past suddenly appears, giving them the opportunity to right a few wrongs.

CHAPTER 1/1 - 5230 words

RATING: T

ALSO on Ao3 (I'm unable to post to ffn at this time)

*********

Storybrooke was peaceful for perhaps the first time since Emma Swan crashed into the town sign three years ago. The Underworld saga was behind them, Killian had returned in dramatic fashion, and no new villain had shown up in town…yet. Emma knew it was only a matter of time, but she was going to enjoy the calm after the multiple storms for as long as she could.

Gold was the Dark One again after negating Killian’s sacrifice, but he secluded himself in his Pawn Shop. Emma figured he was avoiding everyone in town because they were furious over him not letting go of the dark power. Even though Emma knew the Dark One couldn’t be killed, she wasn’t above putting a bullet in him for something as minor as jaywalking, given the opportunity. She could never forgive him for what he did to the man she loved.

Right now, that man was alive and well beside her, his arm flung over her hip and snoring softly in her ear. It had been nearly two months since he returned and she was still hesitant to let him out of her sight. The first few nights after his return, both of them were desperate to reacquaint themselves with the other’s body. Gradually, as the realization grew that Killian was truly back and nothing was going to threaten their blissful happiness, their lovemaking grew gentler and less frantic, but no less meaningful. Now, after their bodies were sated, they’d lay in each other’s arms talking softly before they drifted off to sleep, content in the fact that nothing would pull them away from one another again.

*********

Killian awoke with a jolt, heart thundering in his chest and breath coming in sharp gasps. Sitting up quickly, he closed his eyes, tilting his head back while he concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths to calm himself, hoping he wouldn’t wake Emma. When his heart rate slowed down a bit, he opened his eyes and the blood in his veins froze.

He rubbed his eyes furiously, then cautiously opened them again. The image hadn’t disappeared. Hovering hazily in front of him was…

“Milah?” he choked out.

The specter’s pale eyes brightened and a slight smile crossed her face. Drifting closer, she opened her mouth to speak…

“Killian?”

Immediately, the ghostly figure disappeared. Killian blinked rapidly as he felt Emma’s hand on his back.

“Are you okay?” she asked, sitting up beside him.

“Oh, uh…aye,” he managed to say, still trying to get over the shock of seeing what was obviously the ghost of his former lover.

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

His head jerked around, searching her eyes to determine if she realized the accuracy of her statement. All he could see was concern in the green depths. “Aye, Love, I just…I’m having some trouble sleeping and I don’t…I don’t want to keep you awake, so…uh…I think I’ll spend the rest of the night on the Jolly, if you don’t mind,” he stammered.

A wounded look crossed her face so quickly, he wasn’t even sure he saw it. She schooled her features carefully before replying, “If you’re having nightmares, I can help you through them. You don’t have to handle them yourself, you know.”

He wiped a hand down his face. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt this woman who sacrificed so much to bring him home. He loved her more than he could express and owed her his very life. But after seeing the vision of Milah, he knew he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep that night and he didn’t know how to explain what had happened.

“I know, Love. I just…I think I need some fresh air.” Enfolding her in his arms, he rubbed her back soothingly. “I’m not pulling away from you, I promise. I’ll meet you at Granny’s tomorrow for breakfast, aye?”

“Yeah, okay,” she mumbled into his chest. “Call me when you get to the Jolly?”

“Of course.” He got out of bed and began putting on his clothes, feeling her eyes on him the entire time. When he finished, he turned back to see her still sitting up, the sheet wrapped around her. Moving to sit on the edge of the bed, he reached over to brush some wispy strands of hair away from her face. “Get some sleep, Darling. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She leaned in to kiss him, pressing her forehead to his for a brief moment afterwards. “Be careful on your way to the docks.”

“I will. Goodnight, Love.” After brushing her lips with his once more, he stood and began walking toward the doorway.

“Killian?” she called softly.

He turned. “Aye?”

“I love you.”

He couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his face. “I love you, too, Swan.”

*********

On his way to his ship, Killian searched the skies for any sign of Milah’s apparition. He was torn about whether he wanted to see her ghostly image again. On the one hand, he was curious why she was here and wanted to talk with her to get some answers. Conversely, he was ready to move on with his life and his True Love.

He made it to the Jolly without any sign of the specter, but upon entering his quarters, he was met with the sight of her hovering over his bunk, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

“Milah!” he gasped. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Her eyes widened in horror as she continued to try, with no success.

“You can’t talk?” he questioned. She shook her head sadly, and seemed to shrink in on herself, floating toward the ceiling. “No! Don’t go!” he cried. “Please…stay.” He held out his hand in invitation, knowing she wouldn’t be able to physically take it.

Her eyes softened, her distress easing as she settled back down to eye level with him.

“But you can hear me, can’t you?” he asked, needing to clarify their connection.

She nodded and made a hand gesture urging him to continue speaking.

He sat in his desk chair and swiveled it to fully face her. “I don’t know how you’re here, but…I’m glad you are.” His comment made her smile. “Emma, she…she told me the two of you met in the Underworld, and that you helped her get to me when Hades had me chained up over the River of Lost Souls.”

Milah nodded again, giving him a small, tight smile.

“I’m truly sorry Hades threw you into that river before I had a chance to say goodbye.”

Anger flashed across Milah’s face and she shook her head vehemently.

“What is it, Milah?” He watched her making motions with her hands, pantomiming pulling her heart out of her chest. “Hades tore your heart out? No, that wouldn’t make sense because you were already…” He stopped short, unable to bring himself to say the last word.

Milah continued to make gestures showing her heart being crushed, then pointed to Killian’s hook.

Suddenly, understanding dawned on him. “The crocodile?” he asked incredulously. She nodded vigorously and he could feel the rage rising in him. “Was he the one who pushed you into the River of Lost Souls?” At Milah’s emphatic nod, he angrily jumped to his feet. “Not only did he take you from me the first time, he also doomed you to eternal torment and deprived me of a chance to give you a proper farewell! And now he’s the bloody Dark One again! Bloody fucking hell!” He spun in a circle, wanting to throw or hit something.

The specter of his first love drifted closer and reached out to stroke her palm over his cheek. He felt a cool sensation where her ghostly hand brushed past him, calming him instantly. He sat down on his bunk and she moved over to him, sadness mixed with compassion coloring her translucent features. “I’m so sorry, Love. I should have killed him long ago to avenge your…death. I never figured out a way to do it since the Dark One is immortal, and then I met Emma and I…I chose her over my quest for vengeance. I failed you, Milah…”

She brought her finger to her lip and shook her head to silence him. Then she placed her hand over her heart, before moving it to cover his heart. He understood her meaning and his shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank you, Love. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’m very happy to have it.” He smiled gently at her for a moment before a startling realization came to him. “Milah,” he said, confusion infusing his words. “How… how are you here?” He stood quickly, not knowing what to think. Could he still be dreaming? Milah shouldn’t be here. She couldn’t be here. This had to be a trick of some kind. Was Gold behind it? Had Hades found some way to return?

Alarmed recognition crossed her face and she reached for him. He stumbled back away from her and she made no further move toward him. In an effort to help him understand, she placed both hands on either side of her head, fingers pointed straight up. She moved them up and down in short, sharp movements that reminded Killian of Hades when his hair erupted into blue flames.

“Hades?” he asked tentatively.

She nodded furiously, her face lighting up with his understanding of her motions. She drew a single finger across her neck in a motion he had no trouble interpreting.

“He’s gone forever, right?” Killian asked. When she continued nodding, Killian felt excitement and hope rise within him. “When he was vanquished, was your soul released from the river?” It was more than he could possibly hope for, but her joyous visage and nod confirmed his speculation. Relief completely enveloped him and he moved closer to her, holding his hand out again. This time, she reached out for him as well. He felt a chill that somehow felt warm at the same time as her hand passed through his. “Oh, Milah,” he breathed. “I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.”

Milah smiled gently at him then floated over to his bed and patted the space beside her. He sat down and saw her gesture for him to talk. Taking a deep breath, he launched into the tale of his life after losing her.

*********

Emma was unable to go back to sleep after Killian left. He’d had plenty of time to make it to his ship, yet he hadn’t called her as promised. She was well aware he would have a lot to work through after everything he’d experienced. Becoming the Dark One, dying and going to the Underworld, being tortured by Hades, reuniting with his brother Liam, only to have to say goodbye to him again, not to mention being separated from his True Love, before being sent back to the land of the living by Zeus.

She was willing to give him all the time he needed, but tonight, something was amiss. She could sense there was more to his abrupt departure than simply a desire to get some fresh air. His eyes were…haunted, fearful. She couldn’t help but wonder what he wasn’t telling her.

Sighing heavily, she shoved back the covers and got out of bed. Something was troubling the man she loved and she was determined to help him through it.

*********

Emma drove slowly through the streets of Storybrooke, scanning every street and alley, but didn’t catch sight of Killian. Parking at the docks, she was relieved to see his ship was still in the usual berth. She hadn’t thought he would take the Jolly Roger out to sea this late at night, but she knew how sailing calmed him, so she wouldn’t have been surprised to find the space empty.

Killian wasn’t on the deck, gazing at the stars - another activity that always brought him peace. Emma quickly crossed the polished surface, descended the steps taking her below deck, and walked down the narrow hallway, stopping outside the captain’s quarters. As she reached for the door handle, she heard Killian’s voice and paused. It sounded like he was carrying on a conversation with someone. She didn’t want to invade his privacy, but curiosity won out and, in spite of herself, she listened.

“...that’s when I found out Bae had a child with Emma - a boy named Henry. Yes, I know. It came as quite a shock to me, as well. By that time, I was already intrigued by Emma, and also very attracted to her. I hope you don’t mind me talking about her. She’s my True Love and I owe her so much. She’s the one who made me want to give up my fruitless quest for revenge in order to be someone worthy of her love.”

Emma took a step closer to the door, hoping to hear the other person to identify him…or her. Her mind raced as she waited. Nearly everyone in town knew that Henry was Neal’s son, so who could it be?

“I wish you could meet Henry. He’s a wonderful lad - intelligent, kind and brave. Bae would be so proud of him.” There was a long pause before Killian resumed. “He, uh, he died trying to warn the town about a villain. He visited Emma before she went to the Underworld and told her he was in a place where he was happy. Perhaps you’ll be able to take care of your unfinished business and join him there.”

Emma’s brows furrowed. He was talking to someone with unfinished business? Someone who might be able to join Neal, which would mean they were dead…

Suddenly, it dawned on her who it had to be, but how was it possible? Milah had been thrown into the River of Lost Souls. There was no way she could be here talking to Killian. Emma’s mind swirled with doubts. Maybe he needed someone to talk to and couldn’t trust her, so he was talking to the memory of Milah instead.

  Unable to quiet the negative voices in her head, Emma grasped the door handle, and after a brief moment of hesitation, pushed inside the cabin.

Killian looked up when he heard her enter, his startled look turning to one of chagrin. “Swan? What are you doing here?”

“I…I was worried when you didn’t call,” she said, looking around the room and seeing no one. “Killian, who were you talking to?”

Killian glanced beside him, where Milah still hovered. “I was…” Turning his eyes back to Emma, he asked, “Can’t you see her, Emma?”

Emma’s brows furrowed. “The only person I see here is you. Were you…it sounded like you were talking to…to Milah.”

He stood, casting a quick look at his first love, then moving to stand in front of his True Love. “Aye, Love. Milah is here, in this room. Her spirit is, at least. She appeared to me in your bedroom and that’s why I left so abruptly. When I reached the Jolly, I found her here, too. I don’t understand why I can see her and you can’t.”

Emma closed her eyes, her heart pounding. If he was telling her the truth - and her lie detector was silent, confirming his words - then Milah was haunting him, no matter where he went. How was she supposed to deal with that?

Tilting her head, she sensed something different about the atmosphere in the room. Breathing in deeply, she caught a whiff of…

“Killian, did Milah smell of lilacs?” she asked, her eyes opening to focus on him. A shocked expression crossed his face.

“Aye, Love. She…she always wore lilac water. I purchased it for her every chance I got. How did you know that?”

“I can smell it, and I feel a…a presence. Can she talk?”

Sadness filled his eyes. “No, she can hear me, but she can’t speak. She has been able to communicate, though. She…she told me it was Gold who threw her into the River of Lost Souls and that she was released when Hades was defeated.”

“Gold did that to her?” Emma spat. “That bastard! I’m already furious over what he did to you and this just adds fuel to the fire! Dark One or not, someday he’s going to pay for all the evil things he’s done, and I, for one, am not going to be sorry about it!”

Killian stepped forward to squeeze her hand, his eyes flicking up behind her. “I think Milah likes you, Love,” he grinned.

“Why do you say that?”

“She’s right behind you, smiling and clapping her hands.”

Emma’s cheeks reddened. “We got to know each other a bit in the Underworld. I liked her, too.” She looked thoughtful. “There has to be some way to allow her to talk to us. Remember when we used that double-ended candle to try to talk to Cora?”

“Aye, but the candle had to be lit over a person’s heart before they were killed in order to use it to communicate with that person’s spirit,” Killian reminded her.

Emma sighed. “That’s right, I’d forgotten that detail.” She chewed on her lip in thought, before speaking again. “I’ll go talk to Regina. There has to be a way.” She pulled her hand out of his and turned toward the door.

He caught her arm with his hook. “Perhaps you should wait until morning, Darling. I doubt the queen will be very amenable to helping us if you wake her in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot what time it is,” she admitted. “I, um, I guess I’ll just go home for a few hours, then. Are you…will you stay here?”

Killian glanced to his right before answering. “I still have a lot I want to share with Milah and I don’t know how long she’ll be able to stay here. I hope you don’t mind.”

Emma gave him a weak smile. “No, I understand. Do you want to come with me to talk to Regina in the morning?”

“Aye, Love.” He pulled her into his embrace. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, I’ll come by and pick you up around seven,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

He put enough distance between them to be able to cup her chin in his hand. “Be careful going home, my love.”

“I will.” Leaning up to whisper in his ear, she asked, “Do you think she would mind if I kissed you?”

He gave a low chuckle. “I’m sure she won’t. She knows we’re True Love.”

She combed her fingers through the hair above his ear. “This is a weird situation, you know that, right?”

He nodded with a lopsided grin and leaned in to share a lingering kiss with her.

“See you in the morning,” she said when it ended, then added, a bit louder, “Goodbye, Milah.” After brushing his cheek with her lips one more time, she turned and left the cabin.

*********

Once Regina heard Emma and Killian relate the events from overnight, she sat behind her desk in the mayor’s office pursing her lips in thought.

“Can you explain why Killian is able to see her, but I can’t?” Emma asked.

“I’m not sure, but my guess would be it’s because Killian is Milah’s unfinished business,” Regina stated.

“That makes sense,” Emma agreed. “I can feel her presence, though.”

“Have you any ideas for how to talk to her?” Killian inquired.

Regina considered for a moment. “Using the enchanted candle to talk to her definitely isn’t an option. The phone booth in the Underworld was a way for the dead to communicate with the living, but we don’t have anything like that here. You obviously don’t want me to ask Gold for help, or Belle for that matter.”

“Absolutely not,” Emma said emphatically.

“We don’t want the crocodile to know that Milah has made an appearance,” Killian added angrily. “If I had my way, I’d send the bloody bastard back to the Underworld, never to return. Hades wasn’t the one who threw Milah into the River of Lost Souls. It was Gold. He needs to pay for what he did. It wasn’t enough for him to kill her in front of me in the first place, but he had to sentence her to eternal torment, as well.”

Regina’s eyes widened in surprise. She didn’t know all the details of what happened between Rumplestiltskin and Killian Jones, but she could certainly understand Killian’s anger and wanting to make sure ‘the crocodile’ paid for what he’d done. “Well, there’s nothing we can do about Gold. If you recall, he’s the Dark One and can’t be killed, no matter how much all of us would like to see it happen. Now, let’s focus on the problem of how to communicate with Milah. Do you have any idea how long she will be haunting you, Hook?”

Killian shook his head sadly. “No, but I have a feeling it won’t be very long. From the first time I saw her until she left this morning, her form had already faded substantially.”

“Hmm, I wonder,” Regina said, walking around the front of her desk and crossing her arms. “I know she probably didn’t come through a portal from the Underworld to get here, but I wonder if being close to one will give her more strength and help her be able to speak.”

“You mean the one in the duck pond?” Emma asked.

“Do you know of any other?” Regina snapped, her sarcasm in full force.

Emma chose to ignore her snark. “I think it would be worth a try to see if she’ll join you there, wouldn’t it, Killian?” At his nod of affirmation, she added. “How would you feel about Henry being there? If Milah is able to speak, he would get to talk to his grandmother.”

“I think that’s a grand idea, Love. I told her about him and what an exceptional lad he is, and I’m sure she would appreciate the chance to see for herself.”

“Is that alright, Regina?” Emma asked.

“Of course. I don’t think he would find meeting the spirit of his grandmother any more disconcerting than any other adventure he’s experienced since he brought you to town. He planned to spend the day at my house playing video games. I’ll pick him up and meet the two of you at the pond.”

���Do you think Milah will find you there, Killian?”

“She found me at your house and on my ship, Love.”

“Good point. Well, let’s see if this works,” Emma said, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze before they headed out the door.

*********

Returning to the place where Emma was forced to run Excalibur through Killian was difficult for the couple. As they drew near the exact spot where it happened, Killian heard her breath hitch and he tightened his grip on her hand.

Regina and Henry arrived a few minutes later and joined them at the edge of the duck pond.

“Mom says Grandma Milah appeared to you, Killian,” Henry said excitedly. “Is she here now?”

“Not yet, lad,” Killian said.

“We’re not sure she will be, Henry,” Emma said.

“Yeah, Mom explained that to me. She also said Grandma can’t speak, but I’m still glad you wanted me to be here.”

They waited for several minutes, as Killian scanned the skies for any sign of Milah’s ghost. The only sounds heard were the birds in the trees and the occasional quack of a duck swimming past, until Killian declared softly, “She’s here, right over the center of the pond.”

“I was going to ask if she was,” Emma said. “I thought I felt her presence.”

“There is definitely a stirring in the atmosphere,” Regina remarked.

“Is she trying to say anything?” Henry asked.

“No,” Killian answered, “she’s just watching us.” Suddenly, the water in the pond began rippling as a breeze blew across it. “Hello again, Milah. Someone is here to meet you.” He stepped over behind Henry, putting his hand and hook on the boy’s shoulders. “This is Henry, Baelfire’s son.”

“Hi, Grandma,” Henry said, his eyes darting back and forth across the sky. “It’s nice to…kind of…meet you.”

“She’s smiling at you, lad,” Killian assured him.

“I wish I could see you. Were you the one who churned up the water?” Henry asked. In response, a stronger breeze blew, causing small waves to form in the duck pond. “That’s a cool trick, Grandma!” he laughed.

A chilly wind swept past the group, rustling the leaves on the trees. “Is Milah doing that, too?” Emma whispered.

“Aye,” Killian answered, his eyes following the movement of the specter only he could see. “Something seems to be distressing her.”

“I think I see the source of her agitation,” Regina remarked, her brow furrowing in concern. “Here comes Gold. He must have sensed a supernatural disturbance, too.”

The man came stumping up the path, slowing as he took in the scene before him. Seeing the group assembled by the pond, he asked, “What are you all doing here? Are you trying to cast some sort of…” His words came to a stop as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in surprise. “M-Milah?”

Another rush of cold air swept past them, strong enough this time to shake the tree branches and increase the turbulence of the water. “Seeing him has made her extremely angry,” Killian explained.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Regina remarked.

The wind kicked up even more, causing dust and debris to swirl around them. It seemed to center on Gold, making him duck down and cover his head. “Get away from me, you vile woman!” he screamed. “You’re supposed to be in the River of Lost Souls!” At his confession, the wind picked him up bodily and slammed him to the ground, stunning him as he hit his head on a rock.

“And YOU’RE the one who threw her into it!” Killian shouted.

Gold raised his hand to his head, wiping at the blood over his brow. Suddenly, it was if something grabbed him by the ankles and began dragging him toward the pond. “NO! NO!” he screeched, attempting to crawl back up the path.

“Grandpa!” Henry yelled.

There was a loud whooshing sound and they turned to see a vortex rising up out of the water, the force of it beginning to pull Gold toward it. He continued to scream his protests, his fingers scrabbling in the dirt as he was dragged backwards. They watched incredulously as he flew past them, too quickly to even attempt to grab him.

He was caught up in the vortex, which spun across the surface of the pond. Emma gasped as she spotted something moving behind the trees. “It’s Charon’s boat! Why is it here?”

“Gold is tethered to the Underworld through his blood,” Regina explained, shouting to be heard over the tumult. “The blood from the gash on his head must have gotten into the water and summoned Charon.”

The four people on shore watched the furiously swirling waterspout until it reached the boat, where it suddenly disappeared, depositing the helpless Dark One in a heap in the middle of the vessel.

Gold’s blood curdling screams echoed through the air as Charon guided the boat toward the portal to the Underworld. The moment it passed from view, his cries were silenced and they knew he was gone.

“Look!” Henry cried, pointing at the sky.

Emma, Killian and Regina turned to see a black vapor in the shape of the Dark One’s dagger hanging over the pond. As they watched, it dissipated, completely disappearing within seconds. “Does that mean what I think it means? What I hope it means?” Emma asked.

“No more Dark One? The Darkness is gone forever?” Regina questioned, turning back towards the others.

“Yes, that’s exactly what it means and now I can finally be free,” a serene voice said from behind them.

“Milah!” Killian gasped. “You can speak!”

“Rumple silenced me when he threw me into the river,” she explained. “Now that he’s gone, he has no power over me, or anyone else, for that matter.”

“I’m sorry you lost your grandfather like that, kid,” Emma said, putting her arm around Henry’s shoulders to comfort him.

“Yeah, me too, but he had a lot of chances to give up the power of being the Dark One and he never did. He loved power more than he loved me, Belle, and even my dad, so I guess he deserved what he got.”

Killian patted him on the back, then looked at the specter hovering in front of them. “You did it, Milah. Everything he ever did to us has now been avenged,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Yes, it has,” Milah said, her voice sounding much thinner. “My time here is drawing to a close, so I have to say my goodbyes.” Killian watched as a wide smile spread on her lips. “I can see Killian was right when he told me how special you are, Henry. I just wish I had more time with you. When I move on, I will tell your father what a fine young man you became.”

“Tell him…tell him I miss him,” Henry said.

“I will,” she promised.

Emma stepped up beside Killian and stretched up to kiss his cheek.“We’ll give you a chance to say goodbye,” she whispered. “I’ll be home if you want to come by afterwards.”

He nodded and watched her walk away with Henry and Regina. Turning back to Milah, he saw her translucent form was fading quickly. “I’m very happy I got the opportunity to bid you a proper goodbye, Love.”

“So am I. Oh, my love, I’m glad we were able to have so many wonderful adventures together.” Her voice grew so faint, he had to listen intently to hear her. “ Emma is good for you, Killian. It’s wonderful that you’ve found love again and you’re finally moving on. I can see that you’re really happy.” She paused for a moment, then- if it was possible for a ghost- she sighed. “I’m your past and she’s your future.”

“You’ll always have a place in my heart, Milah. You were my first love.”

“Yes, and I will always love you, but Emma is your True Love. You deserve happiness with her.”

“And you deserve peace. I hope you find it.”

“Now that all of my unfinished business has been taken care of, I’m sure I will.” Swooping down, she brushed her nearly invisible fingers across his cheek. “I must go now. Goodbye, my love.”

“Goodbye, Milah.”

He stood transfixed, staring at the sky for several minutes after her form disappeared. The sadness he had carried in his heart for so long over the loss of Milah, was replaced with relief and joy.

Finally, he turned and began walking back to town, where he knew he would find Emma waiting.

He saw her sitting on the steps of her house when he stopped in front of the gate. Looking up at him, a warm smile crossed her face, and he returned it with one of his own. Stepping through the opening, he moved toward his future.

*********

Was I the only one who thought Gold should have been held accountable for what he did to Milah? Or that Killian should have had the chance to say goodbye to his first love? Please let me know how you felt about it.

Special thanks to the people who have held the Captain Swan Supernatural Summer event for many years now. It's always a lot of fun!

And thanks to all of you for reading, commenting and reblogging!

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#csff #cssns23 #captain swan supernatural summer #saying goodbye and moving on #jrob64 #art by krystal #manip by motherkat #canon divergent #fix it fic #ouat fanfic #ghost story #milah gets justice #rumple gets what he deserves #one shot

[leejungchans]

candlelight : y.jh

༉‧₊˚✧ for my 1k event !

requested by @crimsoncauldron : hey, sol! congrats on 1k (woo hoo). well deserved <3 blind date, friends to lovers, jeonghan

a/n: hi livvie!! thank you so much for sending a req and for all the support and love you’ve shown me 💓 i hope you’ll like this hehe i went overboard a tad :’))) requests are open until june 1 so please reference this post and read the guidelines if you’re interested!

word count | 1.2k

pairing | yoon jeonghan (svt) x gn!reader

genre | fluff, blind date au, friends-to-lovers au

warning(s) / includes | food and alcohol mentions (please lmk if i missed anything!)

joshua (18:43) you better be on your way

joshua (18:43) trust me, you’ll like him ;)

joshua (18:44) when have i ever wronged you?

Rolling your eyes, albeit fondly, you shoot a quick text back to your friend promising you really are just a block away from the restaurant, and not buried under your covers at home restarting your favourite K-drama for the fifth time like most of your Friday nights. Considering how many praises Joshua had sung about your to-be date, he will never let you hear the end of it if you stood this guy up.

You’re not a mean person—at least, that’s what you tell yourself to soothe the guilt of rejecting all the blind dates you’ve been set up on in the past several months. Your friends have good intentions, wanting to help you get back into the dating game after being single for a considerably long time, yet for some reason the people you were matched with just weren’t… right.

Some of them weren’t even horrible people to begin with, in fact you quite enjoyed the evening you spent with Seungcheol’s friend, Seokmin. He was incredibly sweet and did everything right by conventional first date standards, yet something still felt off. You just couldn’t picture yourself being with him in the long run, and you ended things after the second date. Seokmin was understanding, perhaps even sympathetic, but that somehow made guilt weigh heavier on your gut.

Your phone chimes again.

joshua (18:54) he told me he’s inside, table next to the waterfall

joshua (18:54) have fun :))))

The knot in your stomach tightens as a waiter shows you in, and you tell yourself to take a few deep breaths and put more faith in Joshua Hong. The extravagant interior of the restaurant does little to soothe your nerves, but the sound of running water coming from the indoor waterfall is pleasant, that you’ll admit.

You scan the tables surrounding the structure, finding all but one of them already occupied by couples. The man sitting alone has his back facing you, thus preventing you from seeing his face as you walk up to the table with a lump in your throat. Your approaching footsteps alert him of your presence, and he looks over his shoulder at you—

You can’t help your surprise. “Jeonghan?”

“Hi,” he smiles, sweet but self-assured. You’re still in a mild state of shock even as he gets up to pull out your chair, waiting for you to settle into your seat comfortably before returning to his own.

You wouldn’t say Yoon Jeonghan is a close friend, but he certainly is far from a mere acquaintance. You’ve talked quite a few times at the meet-ups Joshua likes to organise every month or so for all his friends, and he’s always been nothing but kind and courteous to you, sometimes allowing his witty side to shine through just to hear the chime of your laughter.

You knew he liked you as a friend, but enough to ask you out through your mutual friend? You never would’ve guessed. Somehow, it all seemed far too good to be true that someone so charming, so effortlessly commands attention everywhere he goes, would take an interest in you.

He’s still observing you with a lopsided grin when you snap out of your inner monologue. “Hi, Jeonghan,” you finally squeak out, “I-I must say, I never expected it to be you when Joshua told me about this. This isn’t… another one of your pranks, is it?”

Jeonghan’s smile fades and he shakes his head solemnly. “It’s not, Y/N. I promise,” he says. “My shenanigans are strictly confined to his get-togethers. He’d actually have my head on a chopping block if this was a joke.”

“Oh, okay, good to know,” you smile shakily at his reassurance before raising your glass to your lips, taking a sip of water to compose yourself. “Why didn’t you text me? I thought you had my number?”

“I, uh,” it’s a sight to behold, the tips of his ears stained a faint pink as he admits, “I was too nervous to ask you myself, so I asked Shua if he could set this up.”

A coy smile crosses your lips. “Mustn’t have been easy to get him to say yes,” you tease, knowing they definitely aren't exempt from being the target of the other’s antics despite usually being partners in crime.

“No,” Jeonghan agrees, mirroring your smile, “but I like to think several factors convinced him to agree.”

You notice that the tension in your shoulders has lessened as you raise a brow at his cryptic statement. “Which are?”

Jeonghan hums, feigning deep thought. “Let’s see: I’m charming, I’m irresistible, I’m his best friend,” laughter bubbles out of you as he ticks each one off on his fingers, “he loves me even if he claims I annoy him more often than not, and finally… because he knows I like you.”

It takes a few seconds for the last part to register, but when it does it slams into you like a ton of bricks. “You… like me?”

If he picks up on how incredulous you sound, he doesn’t comment on it. “Very much,” he says simply, dark eyes gazing at you so intensely and sincerely that for a moment you fear you’d be knocked off your chair.

“Why?”

Jeonghan makes a noise of confusion, but hums in concentration as he thinks of his answer. “Well… you’re sweet, you’re funny, you always care about what someone has to say and make them feel heard. I noticed that time at K-BBQ when you encouraged Minghao to talk again after he tried to say something but no one else heard because of the noise.”

You sit in stunned silence, words failing you as he speaks. You knew he was observant from how he’d scan his surroundings, always appearing at the side of anyone in need of help or simply some company, but you never considered yourself important enough for him to pay attention to anything you were doing. It seems he’s proven you wrong.

And while it’s flattering, it also brings a surge of warmth to your cheeks that you’re pretty sure has nothing to do with the burning candles on your table.

“And… I don’t know, I just like you a lot,” he continues, never breaking eye contact, “and I’d love to get to know you more… if you’d let me.”

The flickering, pale glow of the candles lend you an ethereal halo when you shyly beam at him. His heart almost stops; you’re beautiful.

“I’d like that too, Jeonghan,” your voice is gentle and serene over the soft drizzling of the waterfall, “I’d like that a lot.”

“Come to think of it, I think I started having a crush on you ever since Shua’s Halloween party.”

“The one where Soonyoung showed up in his tiger suit?”

“Yeah, that one. I asked you not to tell Seungcheol that I was the one who spiked the punch, remember?”

“I’m pretty sure he eventually figured out it was you anyways, but I did keep my promise all this time.”

“Mm, and I still owe you for that, don’t I?”

if you enjoyed this, please support my work by reblogging and leaving feedback <3

© STARLIGHTJOONG 2022

#ficscafe #caratwritersclub #kdiarynet #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fluff #yoon jeonghan fluff #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan imagines #sol.writings

[abbatoirablaze]

Behind The Scenes, Tom Hiddleston

Word Count: 1.1k

“(Y/N)” the paparazzi called hoping that you would look at them.  You faked a smile as you walked the red carpet with your partner, “(Y/N)!  TOM!”

“Wait, love,” Tom beckoned, his fingers pulling you back for a moment as you stopped walking.  You gave him a small glance back and it seemed like his world lit up.  Your heart panged in your chest as he swept you back into his arms, his charming smile making you feel all the more guilty, “Just a few pictures?”

“Eleven months minimum,” his manager said firmly, pointing to the contract.  Your brow raised as you went to question it, but he was already shaking his head, “he’s been too close to some stars lately who are on the less-than optimal path when it comes to relationships, and he’s starting to look like a playboy when he isn’t one.  Ond we want to straighten that out before it goes too deep.  A long term, committed relationship where Tom seems utterly and hopelessly in love with you will do that.  You two will be the power couple.  The star-studded leading man, and his down-to-earth girlfriend that keeps him grounded in reality.  It’s perfect.”

You glanced over at the bored looking actor. 

It was obvious that he didn’t want to be there.

But he’d just gone through a very public divorce.  And a custody battle that made Brad and Angelina’s breakup seem tame. 

You felt bad for him, you did.

“Mr. Hiddleston?”

Tom looked up from his phone, finally showing some sense of acknowledgement.  You noticed a photo of his toddler son sitting in his lap while he read to him on the screen.

A gentle pang in your heart.

He was a good guy.

But the people he’d hung around with in the wake of his divorce…weren’t. 

“Terribly sorry,” he apologized with a sad look, “I-I’m sorry.  Did I miss part of the conversation?”

“Just negotiating terms,” you smiled politely, “what all are you looking for out of this?”

“I don’t care,” he admitted with a shrug, “the world sees me as this awful human ever since the divorce…I just-I want people to see the real me…not the one that I was said to be.”

“I think we can do that, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“I haven’t gotten the proper time to thank you for everything as of late…” Tom sighed from his spot at the podium.  You caught as a camera panned to you, and you kept your focus on the man of the hour, trying to play it right.  You felt the cameraman moving out of your peripheral and you noticed Tom tearing up, “you and I met at a pivotal point in my life.  A low point…and you did something no one else could do.  You built me back up to the man that I was before.  I want to thank you for the love and support you’ve shown me these past twelve months.  Without you-I-…”

He halted his speech, his voice cracking at the end.  You stood up and began clapping for him, and a second later, the rest of the crowd was on their feet, cheering on Tom as well.  Even the presenter came back to the podium and clapped Tom on the shoulder, assuring him that it was fine he didn’t finish his speech. 

“I LOVE YOU!” you called out, not lying about your feelings.  Tom gave you a sweet smile as he picked up his award and swiped away the tears.  You smiled, knowing how it would look all played out. 

The sweet, kind man that you’d gotten to know over the past year had been redeemed in the eyes of the general public and those in Hollywood’s circles. 

“W-we don’t have to do this…if you don’t want to…”

You leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth, “I want to do this, Tom.  I want to be here for you!”

He sighed, the appreciation visible across his features, “You don’t know how incredibly happy I am that my manager found you…”

“You’re not a bad guy, Tom…” you smiled gently, “you’re sweet…and funny…and kind…and compassionate beyond all belief.  The rest of the world saw it once.  I’m just helping them see it again.”

“You’re an amazing woman, (Y/N).”

“You’re all over TMZ…(Y/N)…are you there?”

“Funny…I was about to say the same thing about you…”

Tom gave you a sad smile, “they-they shouldn’t be saying that type of thing about you.”

“As far as they know, I cheated on you the night after you won your award,” you replied with a shrug, “that was how it was supposed to play out.  We spent a better part of a month being in public and looking happy.  You were about to propose, thinking you found someone who was so good to you…Tom…this is a win for you.”

“I-I asked my fans to stop calling you those names though…it’s not right.”

“They aren’t supposed to know what I did for you, Tom.  It’s okay.”

He sighed, “it still doesn’t make it right.”

You reached out and took his hands in your own, “hey…cheer up.  If anything, this makes you the Jennifer Anniston in the Jen Anniston/Brad Pitt scandal.  You’re a loveable underdog.  You’ve undergone a divorce and custody battle before finding me, only for me to break your heart as well.  Tom…you have the public in the palm of your hand…”

He frowned before giving you a small, curious look, “Wh-what if I don’t want that anymore?  What if I don’t care about the public eating out of the palm of my hand?”

Your brow furrowed, “What are you talking about?”

“I-I know you’re not really seeing anyone…” he said after a moment’s pause, “do  you-is-is that something you normally do?”

“I guess?”

“I-I’ve just been thinking a lot is all…”

“About?”

“You…” he admitted softly, his eyes lighting up when he gave you another soft look, “and us…the past thirteen or so  months.”

“N-none of it was real, Tom…”

“It didn’t feel like it was fake,” he shrugged.  You watched as the A-lister looked at how your hands were still joined together, and he softly started massaging them, “did it-was I ever more than just a job to you, (Y/N)?”

You felt your throat go dry, and suddenly, you didn’t want to meet his eyes.  You didn’t want to lie to him and tell him that it felt more real than you’d wanted.  Didn’t want to admit that over that course of time you really had fallen for him.

“(Y/N)?”

Your eyes met his and you tried to keep a straight face.  But you felt your bottom lip warbling, “I-it worked out for the best…didn’t it?”

“I-I don’t want it to end…” he muttered, sparing you another small look, “i-is that-am I allowed to say that?”

Your gaze broke from him as you looked out to the snow that was lining the English street, “T-Tom…we-we shouldn’t talk about-“

“I miss you…” he said quickly, cutting you off, “I-I don’t want this to end…please, just say that it doesn’t have to end…”

#behind the scenes #tom hiddleston #25 days of christmas #one shot

[chronicallycouchbound]

Homeless Delicacies and Finding Unhoused Joy

When I was 10 years old and spending most nights sleeping in parks or couch surfing, someone showed me an amazing dessert: canned frosting on graham crackers. You can eat it anywhere, and the frosting stays good for quite some time even kept outside the fridge. It was super sweet and brought me so much joy, I ate a whole sleeve of graham crackers and half a can of chocolate frosting in one sitting.

When I was 16, I came out as trans and quickly after, was forced to leave my family for the last time. I remember talking to my sister about me being trans, trying to explain the hurt of misgendering, how it felt for her to listen to me about it, her telling me she loves me no matter what. And afterwards, we ate chips ahoy cookies covered in frosting.

When I was freshly 18 and sleeping on a floor with no heat, my love and I shared nilla wafers dipped in strawberry frosting. It was cold and uncomfortable but we still laughed and held each other while sharing a simple snack.

And now I’m a couple months away from being 23 and I’m revisiting these memories while eating this overwhelmingly sweet snack. I’m reminding myself that younger me was being cared for all the time, in so many ways, by my community. And I still am. The support I’ve been given throughout my life has been so beautiful, even while it hurts that my family of origin didn’t support me.

Happiness comes from the root word ‘hap’ meaning chance. Like in perhaps or mishap or happenstance. It’s based in circumstances, so if you don’t feel happy when life isn’t going well, it’s appropriate, and shouldn’t be expected of you. But I feel that joy is different.

Joy is that same core emotion as happy, but you can find it in other ways. It’s not unwavering positivity, it’s being thankful and making peace with what you can. It can coexist with a feeling overall displeasure with your life or the situation you’ve been put in. (Note: I recognize that not everyone feels this way, this is just the framework I think in and it helps me cope).

For me, finding joy is much easier than finding happiness, particularly when happiness is unattainable given the happenstances. And I need joy to get by. I need to be able to laugh and smile and feel loved and in community. I think everyone needs that.

As someone who’s unhoused and has spent most of my life that way, I can confidently say that unhoused joy isn’t shown to people who haven’t experienced it themselves. Our community lives in public and yet we’re so invisible. It’s bittersweet sometimes to see other marginalized communities being uplifted, their happiness shown on TV, their joy alive in the streets. I wonder when unhoused people will have that. Our lives are based around despite pleas, hoping to survive every day, fighting so hard with no rest.

And still I seek to find joy every day. Today, that joy is found in frosting on graham crackers.

[Originally written on 6/20/22]

#unhoused joy #unhoused #homeless #houseless #houselessness #homelessness #chronic homelessness #chronically couchbound #housing instability #housing crisis #housing insecurity #housing #protect homeless youth #homeless youth #unhoused youth #couch surfing #hobo #homeless trans youth #trans #trans pride #protect trans youth #homeless crisis #homeless culture #unhoused culture #couchsurfing #tent city #tent cities #poor #poverty #poor kid

[i-fondued]

Ghost | Yule at the Abbey | A SiS Prequel

Yule at the Abbey | A Sinners in Secret Prequel Story Pairing: Cardinal Copia x Reader/Sister of Sin x [LIGHT] Papa “Terzo” Emeritus III

Rating: Mature [No Sex but we get close LOL] Warnings: Mention of death? IDK this one is pretty fluffy

A/N: Here is a belated Holiday gift to all my fellow Ghesties, thank you for all the support you've shown me in the last few months. I'm so grateful for the love and support, I have so many things planned for the new year including opening up commissions once Sinners is done.

I hope you all enjoy this story, I may end up making a sequel if people are happy with this because I did end up cutting a lot out...

The Eve of Yule

The sounds of my fellow junior siblings excited giggling was what woke me up. The three other sisters were standing at our window looking outside, faces pressed to the glass. 

"What's going on?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I sat up. 

"Sister, look! It snowed overnight, that must be good luck right?" One of them smiled brightly as I padded over to them from my bed. 

The Abbey was blanketed in a thick layer of snow, fluffy swirls in the air as the wind blew across the grounds. I could already see the grounds keeping siblings and some ghouls shoveling paths from the various buildings and Primo's greenhouse. I smiled softly for a moment at the picturesque landscape and it was all just in time for the yule holiday. 

I heard the chime of the first bell, signaling the one hour mark till our lessons began and I stretched out lazily. Walking back to my bed and dresser I pulled out my daily uniform, thick stockings, and junior habit. 

"Let's get ready, Cardinal Copia won't appreciate us being late to class even if there's three feet of snow out there. Although, he does seem to have a soft spot for you, Sister." One sibling giggled, my cheeks flushed slightly as I tugged my nightgown over my head and pulled on my thick wool winter habit.

"Ha ha. Very funny." I said dryly, rolling my eyes despite the small smile on my face. "The Cardinal is a good man, he just likes that I have a talent for languages is all.”

“At least you’ve caught someone’s eye. Papa won’t even look at me!” One sister lamented, pretending to dramatically faint onto her bed. The other two sisters giggling and diving into a heated conversation about Papa Emeritus III and his particular prowess. I tuned them out, happy to get ready for my day. 

I’d been at the Abbey now for almost a year now, settling into a new way of life relatively quickly. I’d followed a tug in my heart I’d had for years, pulling the string as I followed the siren song and found myself at the Abbey. My family hadn’t been happy, in fact they borderline disowned me over it, I still sent letters back and forth with my parents and my grandmother. They didn’t always respond but it was mostly pleasant when they did. I’d left behind my clothes, my phone, my laptop; all of my modern possessions for the call I’d followed. It was a simple life here at the Abbey, one that felt more purposeful and more aligned with who I felt deep down I was. 

Instead of spending my days in an office, grinding myself into a more corporate appropriate version of myself with nothing to show for it, I worked in the library putting away books between my lessons. I’d struck up a friendship with Papa Emeritus I, Primo as he’d asked me to call him. He and I would trade books for flowers and company, I’d help him in the garden and he’d help me with my basic ritual herbs work. I felt at home in my life for the first time in a long time, both satisfied and almost happy about what I was doing. However there was still a part of me that longed for more, that particular tug between my collarbones sharp when I was around a particular pair of senior clergymen. 

“Sister, are you ready yet? I want to grab breakfast before we’re too late!”

I was pulled from my thoughts, shaking my head and smiling at the Sister who had waited for me to come back to earth. 

“Y-yes! Sorry, clearly I’m still half asleep.” I laughed as she and I grabbed our cloaks and scarves as we hurried from our dorm rooms to the main abbey building.

The main building was where not only all the main offices were but the library, the dining hall, kitchens, classrooms, and the church itself was located. It was also where the senior siblings and clergy members had their own rooms; they kept us junior siblings in our own space so as to not overwhelm us as we adjusted to life at the Abbey. Though, many of my sisters joked that we junior sisters were kept in our own dorm building to keep the wandering eyes of the clergymen from snatching us up in the name of the carinal sins; not that many of us would complain truth be told.

My Sisters and I chatted and laughed as we made our way quickly in the snow, almost slipping on a hidden patch of ice at one point. When we were finally inside again, I dusted my cloak off and hung it in the entryway where all the other siblings kept their cloaks in the winter time on days like today. Quickly we made our way to the crowded informal dining hall, bustling with siblings and ghouls trying to eat and get warm on the chilly December day. 

The hall itself was set up much like a cafeteria at any school or business, however there were far more options for anyone with any dietary preference. Today, with it being the day before Yule celebrations, the entire space was decked out in evergreen branches and tinsel and baubles of deep red and gold. Swags of red and gold fabric hung from the tutor style rafters, with soft glinting yellow lights bringing a glow to the space. 

“They really blew any Christmas traditions I had out of the water…” One sibling behind me in line said, eyes looking around the space. 

Another warning chime went off as I was waiting to snag french toast and I groaned, knowing I wouldn’t have enough time to have a real breakfast before classes. Instead I grabbed an english muffin with peanut butter and tea in a to-go mug. I was about to run off before stopping and snagging a second to-go mug with a small blush. I rushed towards the door, stopping only to let my roommates know I was heading right to class, I hurried off as they teased me about being the class pet. 

…

I was always the first one to lessons when my day started with Latin. 

Would I ever admit why I was the first one there, sitting with rapt attention, in the front row? No. But today, I was very happy to be the first one there. 

Cardinal Copia was sitting at his desk, birreta perched slightly askew, as he hunched over his notes for the class. I bit my lip, trying to prevent a goofy smile as I looked at his face of absolute concentration as he scribbled something. I knocked on the doorframe so as to not startle him, he looked up at me with a quirk of his lips.

“Good Morning, Cardinal.” I said, a cheery smile on my face as I walked up to his desk. “I brought you some tea, thought it might be nice on a cold morning like this.

“Thank you, Sorella. I do really appreciate it. The Abbey, she is drafty in winter.” He chuckled, an appreciative look in his eye as he took the cup from my outstretched hands. I fought the urge to blurt out ‘I could keep you warm at night if you’d let me’ and instead went with a more appropriate approach at conversation.

“I’m sure the wind and snow must not have helped either,” I watched him as leaned back in his chair, gesturing to the empty one across from his desk as was part of our morning ritual before class, I sat down before continuing. “It must be good luck for this much snow before Yule.”

“Ah, I do not know about luck on Yule. I seem to have my fair share of bad luck at this time of year.” He sighed, sipping from the mug in his hands.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Cardinal. The holidays have always been my favorite time of year, if I’m being honest, Sir.” I smiled, my mind drifting to when I was young at Christmas time. “I’ve always loved winter, even when I was little. The festive and joyous feeling in the air is just infectious to me.”

“I envy your optimism, Sorella.” Cardinal Copia chucked with a sort of sad, wry smile. “Maybe someday I can share that infectious feeling with you.”

“W-what?” I blurted, cheeks flushing at the implications of his words. Copia also sputtered, cheeks redding as he realized his wording.

“Me scusi, Sister. I meant with all of the siblings. You are not the only one who is excited by the holidays.” He backtracked, eyes unable to meet my flaming face. “Sometimes I forget a word here and there. My English is not always so good.”

“I-it's alright, Cardinal! It’s very impressive you know as many languages as you do.” I said as I tried to calm my pounding heart and flushed cheeks. “I’m sorry you don’t care for the holidays, are you at least coming to the Yule Mass and festivities tonight?”

“Si, si. I will be there, Papa Emeritus the third will need my help with some of the ritual. It will be a late night for all of us,” Cardinal Copia smiled warmly, sipping his tea at the same time as me. “Are you looking forward to it, Sorella? It is your first yule mass, yes?”

“It is and yes I’m very excited.” I laughed, crossing my legs under me as we relaxed into easy conversation as always. “I grew up catholic so we’d gone to Midnight Mass a few times, I’d never paid any attention to what was going on because the church had always been so spectacularly decorated. It was very distracting to a seven year old you know.”

“Wait till you see the space tonight, it will leave you in awe. Ie lo prometto, I promise.” He smiled wryly at me. “I know most of the siblings are more excited about Secondo’s after mass party, though I normally retire for the evening before that.”

"You won't celebrate with us, Cardinal?" I couldn't help my face falling slightly at the idea of Copia tucked away in his rooms without anyone with him. 

"Ah, probably not Sorella." He chuckled, standing to transfer his notes onto the blackboard "I think I am getting too old to keep up with the siblings at a Secondo party."

"Well I'll be thinking of you…" I said before my cheeks flushed.

"You will be thinking of me, eh?" He teased, turning back to smirk at me, wagging the white chalk in his hand at me.

"Cardinal I…" I started to say something back to try and save my dignity but I could hear the sounds of my fellow junior siblings coming to join us for class and I made the decision to not stick my foot in my mouth any more than I already had. 

…

Our Latin class passed quickly as always, though most of my fellow juniors might not have agreed with me. 

"Ah, our time has come to an end. Please all of you remember yourselves tonight, Si? The Midnight Mass tonight will be a good way to test your comprehension skills." Copia called out over the sound of the other packing up their things. 

I hung back slightly, tempted to have another little conversation, but when I saw another sibling asking for him to go over the translations again I knew I wouldn't have time before I'd be due at the library. I gave him a small wave as he caught my eye, his mismatched eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't put a name to. I snagged his mug, now empty, and dropped them off at the kitchens before heading over to the library. 

The halls were abuzz with activity, everyone excited and restless for tonight festivities. Several ghouls were helping other siblings with finalizing decor and hiding various symbols of good luck in the evergreen trees that decorated the main halls. I had a smile I couldn't seem to get rid of as I slipped inside the ancient wood doors of the library. 

"Good afternoon, Sister." I greeted the senior sister who directed the library before grabbing the cart full of books to be put back. 

"Ah, afternoon Sister! It should be a quiet time today, between the Yule activities and the snow we were blessed with, it doesn't seem like many people are all that interested in books today." She laughed, I gave a little shrug. 

"I don't mind a quiet shift before lunch, besides it's going to be a late night tonight." 

"Very true Sister, let me know once you finish putting these away and we can get you set up to work on some small translations. You have a real skill that is rare with dead languages.'

"Yes of course, Sister. Thank you." I smiled brightly before heading to put away the old and practically crumbling leather bound books.

My work was slow but enjoyable as I scooted around the quiet library, tucking books back into their proper homes. I lost track of the time, humming to myself and not paying attention. I was up on a ladder when I felt the familiar tug, tucked deep inside my sternum. I shuddered at the feeling, like someone was dragging a single finger nail right down my spine. On my tiptoes I reached to slip a book back in its spot and the ladder wobbled slightly. I gave a little screech as I tried to hold tight to the wood, completely off balance. My foot slipped and I closed my eyes, waiting to hit the ground. Instead I felt arms coming to steady me at the waist. 

"You must be more careful, Sorella. We would not want anything to come to our newest translator, si?"

I opened my eyes and blushed bright red, Papa Emeritus the third himself had caught me. He was smirking mischievously at me, his gloved hands warm even through my wool habit. 

"Y-yes your Eminence. Of course, I'm sorry for not being more careful." I stuttered, fumbling my words as he helped me back to the ground. 

"Ah, it is okay Sister. It was an accident, yes? No harm." He chuckled. "Now, please allow me to help you."

"O-oh no, Papa it's okay. I couldn't ask you to hel-" I started, already flustered and now working to the point of almost panic. 

"Nonsense, per favor Sorella." He laughed, taking the large book from my arms and stepping up the ladder to slip it back into its place. "I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." 

I could feel the coil of that familiar tug deep in my chest, the familiar warmth as Papa and I worked together to quickly empty the cart. Not that I had much left when he joined me, but having some company was nice. He asked me about my budding translation work, impressed at how quickly I'd picked up Latin. I had asked him about the ghost project and when he'd be going on tour in the new year. We chatted happily, occasionally to the point of distracting each other. When the final book was tucked away he turned to me with a triumphant look on his face. 

"There, Sorella. Perfecto!" He boomed, I couldn't help but giggle. "I will see you tonight, yes? Midnight Mass?"

"Yes of course Papa," I smiled, growing flushed as he stepped close to me. "I-I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

"Good, good. Who knows what surprises await us tonight eh?"

…

Midnight Mass

Cardinal Copia hadn't been kidding when he said that the Satanic Clergy’s version of Midnight Mass on Yule would blow anything I’d seen as a child out of the water. 

The Abbey’s main lights had been turned off for the evening. Instead all the fireplaces had been stoked to blaze brightly with merry yule logs and a little help from the fire ghouls. Along with the strings of twinkling warm lights in every tree in the halls were lanterns with pillar candles of all sizes lighting the pathways between the main Abbey and various dorms and outbuildings. Inside were more paths and gathered spots of candles, giving everything a devilish glow. There were also small pots of incense burning a warm and cozy combination of cinnamon, orange, and clove. It reminded me of the simmer pots I’d have at home before joining the siblings.

From the main halls of the Abbey, filled with tired but excited siblings, we followed the sound of the light music coming from the church. There was a long hallway that connected to two spaces, decorated with candles and swags of evergreen branches and glittering gold ornaments. Once down the hall, I stepped into the vestibule, giving a small nod and an offering of holly to the statue of Baphomet in the vestibule before excitedly following my roommates to our pew. 

When I stepped into the nave my jaw fell open. 

The entire church hall was lit by an exorbitant amount of variously sized candles along the aisles on the outsides of the pews. There were swags of evergreen, holly, and tinsel strung between the massive stained glass windows. Poinsettia plants were placed everywhere on the raised dias and altar, bringing a fragrant scent to the already thick incense in the air. There was an enormous yule tree on either side of the statue depicting Lucifer’s fall in the center of the dias, decorated with soft golden lights and red baubles. 

The entire space was glowing in an otherworldly haze, between the burning pots of incense and candle glow. It really did take my breath away. I couldn’t focus on anything around me as we all settled in for Mass, hands crossed in prayer as we waited for the processional to begin. We were seated in the middle of the rows of pews, however I was right on the aisle and I couldn’t help but wonder if my sisters did it on purpose, thinking back to how the teased me about the Cardinal. The strike of the organ pulled my eyes from the front of the church to the back as all of us siblings stood and looked back. The massive, ornately carved wooden doors opened up and so began the procession of the Emeritus family.

Leading the processional was Primo, walking with a grucifix staff, he was dressed in his chasuble and miter. His painted face was stoic, serious as he looked up at the altar with reverence. When his eyes drifted to me, his eyes softened and he winked at me. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as he passed me. 

Next was Secondo, also dressed in his chasuble and miter, he was carrying the sacred book of Lucifer. His painted face always made me feel like I was in trouble and even in the act of Mass I squirmed when his eyes passed over me, trying to appear smaller than I was to not catch the man’s sharp gaze. Papa Nihil was escorting Sister Imperator, who was dressed in her finest for the holiday. Nihil was followed by the set of twins who were bringing his oxygen with them, both of them having a slightly otherworldly aura to them. 

The next person in the processional was Cardinal Copia, I felt my cheeks flush as I took him in as he slowly made his way up towards the altar. He was wearing neither of his cassocks, instead he was wearing a sinfully tight white suit. White tail coat, brocade vest, and impossibly tight pants. He still wore his black leather gloves, in them was clenched the chain of the thurible he was swinging back and forth with practiced ease. The smoke incense trailing back behind him, causing him to look ethereal and otherworldly as he made his way past me. I felt that now familiar tug behind my collarbone, deep in my chest, and I couldn’t help but squirm with my cheeks flushed. Copia’s mismatched eyes locked with mine and he gave me a small shy smile. I bit my bottom lip to hold back the grin that threatened to spill. 

I looked back at the doors and was smacked in the face with Papa Emeritus the Third in his full papal glory. It was so rare to see him in anything but his papal suit, seeing him in his papal robes took my breath away. My heart felt like it was going to leap out of my throat and throw itself at his feet. Terzo stood with his arms held out, a small smirk on his face as he took in the awe on the face of all of us new siblings. He was dressed in his miter and chasuble, both embellished in threads of gold and glittering beading. The silk on the inside was a royal purple, slightly shining in the low light as he made his way up the aisle to the altar. His white gloves had been traded for black leather ones with claws on the tips like fingernails, an image of him running them down my bare back flashed in my mind before I could stop it. Like he could hear my thoughts, Terzo’s eyes locked with mine and he smirked wickedly as he winked at me. My heart tugged at him painfully, as if to tell me that I’d be saved from my troubles in life if I was to throw myself at his feet, kissing his hem and begging for forgiveness. 

I had to turn away from him as he passed, cheeks burning as I looked up at the altar as Copia tucked the thurible away in the cabinet at the front of the room. He looked deliciously sinful as he bowed his head, offering prayer to the statue of Lucifer, before moving to bow to Terzo as he made his way to the altar. 

“Good Yule Evening, my flock.” Terzo welcomed us, arms held out again in a welcoming opening of them. “Let us offer prayer to our Dark Lord on this Yule Mass.”

As the congregation mumbled their prayers, heads bowed, I couldn’t help but let my eyes drift up to the pair of men at the front of the room. Terzo in his element, leading us in prayer, and Copia working to set up the tools needed for the ritual. I felt my heart pounding and threatening to burst from my chest as I secretly watched them together, small smiles and whispered words I desperately wished I could hear. The familiar tug almost felt like it would physically tug me from my seat.

As the opening prayer finished, Terzo continued on with mass. He spoke of the Yule traditions and how they celebrated the seven sacraments of sin, he told us to remember that our ability to sin and follow our hearts was a gift from Lucifer. That we shouldn't waste that gift in the new year as the snow slowly melts away to bring on rebirth. My cheeks flushed as he spoke of following our deepest, secret desires; feeling two pairs of mismatched eyes on me as my cheeks flushed. My mind wandered as he spoke, only coming back to the moment as a familiar voice took over speaking. My eyes brightened as Cardinal Copia came to stand at the pulpit to take over for Terzo. 

“Merry Yuletides to you all.” He started, eyes scanning over the crowd as he started on his sermon. 

I couldn’t help but let my mind zone out again, watching the way he worked the crowd of us siblings and partitioners.Everyone was locked in on the Cardinal as he spoke, his passion and his emotions as he spoke of Lucifer and the value of sin in our lives. He spoke of the Book of Lucifer and read us a psalm speaking of the idea of the seven sinful commandments and how even little movements in our everyday lives could bring us the opportunity to bring glory to his Eternal Darkness below. 

Before I knew it my mind wasn’t on the sermon that was being given, instead it was distracted by how broad Cardinal Copia’s shoulders look in his white suit. I watched how his lips moved as he spoke, how his cheeks flushed as he was sucked into what he was speaking about. My eyes drifted from Copia’s spirited speech to take in Terzo, sitting in his chair on the altar. My heart tugged longingly at them both, and in all honesty I was unsure what that meant. 

…

Mass finished surprisingly quickly, though I was only half focused on the actual sermons the whole time. Watching Terzo and Copia as they spoke of sin and bringing of good luck in the new year to come, wishing us joy and laughter, was what I really focused on. My cheeks flushed when I was given the sacrament, Terzo giving me a wink as he placed the wafer on my tongue. 

After Mass most of the siblings excitedly made their way to the large hall in the abbey where the large parties were thrown, some of us lingered behind to speak with other siblings and parishioners who’d joined us. I saw Cardinal Copia standing to the side, speaking with Primo quietly, small warm smiles between them. I saw my perfect opportunity and couldn’t help the grin I tried to stifle as I made my way over to them. 

“Happy Yuletide Papa Primo, you as well Cardinal.” I said happily, trying to keep my face neutral as my heart threatened to tear itself from my sternum. “Your sermon, Cardinal, was wonderful.”

“Ah, Piccola! Happy Yuletide to you as well.” Primo grinned, pulling me into a warm hug. “I hope I will see you at il mio fratellino party, yes?”

“Of course, Papa Primo.”

“Child, I have told you before, you do not have to call me Papa. Primo is fine.” He laughed, teasingly wiggling his finger at me before turning it on Copia. “I will see you there then, si? You too, Cardinal?”

“Ah…I, well-” Cardinal Copia stuttered, cheeks flushed at being put on the spot. “Si?”

“Good, now if you will excuse me…” And with a satisfied little grin, the eldest Emeritus brother left Copia and I were left to ourselves in the almost empty church hall.

“Happy Yule to you too, Sorella. Thank you.” Copia turned to me, I prayed the low light of the candles made it harder for him to see the blush on my cheeks. “I’m glad it resonated with you.”

“I did, it was very inspirational.” It had been…at least for my absolutely filthy thoughts of what I wanted a worked up Cardinal Copia to do to me.

“Would you like to aco-” Copia started before something was dangled between us.

A gloved hand held a sprig of mistletoe with a cheery red bow holding the bundle together. Copia and I both whipped our heads in the direction of the hand holding mistletoe, my cheeks now positively on fire. 

“Papa?” Cardinal Copia’s voice was tight and hard, his eyes had a dark look that made me shiver slightly. 

“Si Cardinale?” He asked, face the picture perfect image of innocence as he stood there, now only in his papal suits and paints.

“What are you doing?”

“It seems I have caught the festive yuletide spirit and just happened upon a sprig of mistletoe.”

“And why are you holding it above Sorella and I’s head?”

“Sto solo cercando di portare un po' di spirito festivo a quelli che ne hanno più bisogno, Cardinale.” I'm just trying to bring some festive spirit to the ones who need it most, Cardinal. Terzo said, smirking while he pretended to inspect his nails through the glove of his free hand. 

“Lucifero aiutami…” Copia growled, rubbing his temples. 

“W-we don’t have to if you don’t want to Cardinal.” I spoke softly, eyes unable to look right at him as I felt that tug in my chest going absolutely feral at the idea of him kissing me or walking away.

Copia looked right at me then and I had to hold back a whimper at the intense look in his eyes, heat pooling in my belly just from the desire plain in his gaze. He stepped forward, one gloved hand coming up to cup my head softly. His fingertips cupped around my neck as his thumb settled at the corner of my jaw. My pulse was thundering in my ears as he tilted my head to look right at him, my lips parted without thinking as I tried not to pant. Slowly and deliberately he closed the distance between us, my eyes slipping closed as he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. It was gentle and caring, full of unspoken moments between us. I felt that tugging urge in my chest shudder through my whole body, alight with what felt like an electric shock, and I gasped slightly into the kiss. I fought the urge to wrap my arms around him, to never let him step away, and felt the Cardinal stiffen. As quickly as it happened it was over, Copia stepped away with a hunger in his gaze. I was practically breathless, looking at him with almost reverent awe. 

“You call that a kiss, Cardinale?” Terzo teased, seemingly unaware of the unspoken movement between Copia and I. “Let me show you how to kiss Sorella under the mistletoe, si?”

Without even warning me, already dazed and unfocused from the lighting dancing in my veins at the kiss I just shared with Copia, Terzo wrapped one arm around the small of my waist. I looked away from Copia and at Terzo as he stepped so close I could feel his body heat rolling off him. 

“Papa?” I asked questioningly, looking up at the mistletoe he now held over him and I.

“This is how you kiss someone under the mistletoe, Cardinale.” He chuckled before he dropped the sprig and held the back of my head, absolutely crushing me to his lips. 

I gasped, eyes widening slightly before slipping closed, as Terzo coaxed my lips to follow his lead. My hands came to rest on his upper arms as I practically clung to him for balance as his tongue slipped into my mouth, I gasped. Despite the mostly flirty relationship I had with Papa, I’d never thought about kissing him like I had with Copia. But actually kissing him now? My god now I understood why my roommates would go on an on about him. 

I felt the same electric feeling I’d felt with Copia moments ago, tingling down to my fingertips and toes. My heart was rattling in its place in the cage of my ribs, desperate to climb into Terzo’s chest and never leave. A heat pooled in my belly at the feeling of Terzo’s hand on my waist gripping me tightly to him, the hand in my hair possessive, and when he let out a low growl I couldn’t help the whimper that slipped from my mouth to his. That was when he stepped away, I felt as if I was unmoored at sea as I opened my eyes and saw the ragged look on Terzo’s face. My cheeks were on fire as he smirked at me as I subconsciously leaned forward to go in for another kiss. 

“Ah, one kiss per mistletoe Sorella.” He chuckled before looking at Copia, who’d I’d almost forgotten was there. “That, dear Cardinale, is how you kiss someone under the mistletoe.”

I looked at Copia and almost took a step back from the pair of clergymen. Copia’s eyes were deep and dark, a curiously dangerous look on his face. He was looking at me like a starving man who found the last rabbit in the dead of winter. I felt myself grow wet under his eyes, squirming slightly with a flush to my cheeks. 

“L'hai sentito anche tu?” Copia asked Terzo who nodded yes. I wasn’t quite sure what he had said so I looked away, cheeks flushed. Copia sighed heavily as he took my hand, kissing the knuckles and side stepping Terzo and I. “Happy Yule, Sorella. Please excuse me.” 

My heart was breaking, the clenching ache causing tears to threaten to well up in my eyes. I longed to go after him, to speak with him about what had just happened here. I took one step towards his retreating form and Terzo caught my hand. 

“Not tonight, Sorella. Leave him be, si?” He sighed, a small sad look on his face. “Yule has always been his least favorite holiday.”

“O-of course Papa.” I mumbled as Terzo took my hand and tucked it into the crook of his arm. 

“Come, let me escort you to la festa di mio fratello, yes?” He tried to soothe me, but I couldn’t help but wonder what sort of exchange or test had just passed between us all. 

…

I’d maybe had a little too much to drink.

Okay, maybe a lot too much to drink. I had been upset after the exchange in the Church hall so when Terzo had offered to bring me a cup of mulled wine, I hadn’t thought twice about it. 

After my third cup, I had a movement where I couldn’t help but think maybe this much drinking might not be a great idea. But after the fifth cup that didn’t matter anymore. I’d been dancing with my fellow sisters, giggling and drinking when one of the other Senior Siblings had started talking about a massive yule log pyre outside. When I asked them about it excitedly, they all shared a look before laughing and telling me I’d have to find it myself but that it was outside by the old abbey entrance on the south side of the compound.

“I’ve got to see this,” I laughed, stumbling slightly as I headed toward the front door. “Are you guys coming?”

“It's freezing outside, no way!” One sister laughed, cheeks flushed. 

“I feel like we would have seen the ghouls setting this up this morning if its as big as they said it would be…” Another one mumbled, but I waved her off. 

“You guys suck, I’m going out there.” I teased, darting past siblings, ghouls, and clergymen all in various groups. 

I stepped into the vestibule of the Abbey, trying to locate my cloak in the piles of others. After a few minutes I threw my hands in the air, speaking to nobody in particular. 

“I’ll just take a quick walk and look around, it can’t be that cold outside.” I grumbled, pushing open the doors and stepping out into the cold early morning of Yule. 

It had stopped snowing at some point during the day but the snow was still fresh, the entire grounds covered in a thick white blanket. The crystals of ice glinted in the light of the candles outside and the moon high in the sky. Outside I could fainly hear the sound of the music and party inside but it was mostly quiet, not even a breeze in the air on this eventful Yule. I wandered the paths, taking in the soft and quiet beauty of the wee hours of the morning. My breath came out in small little clouds of steam as I walked, a small smile on my face. 

Slowly but surely I got myself turned around, unsure of exactly where I was on the grounds. I tried to not panic, following the light of the candles, but the cold in the air was slowly slipping its tendrils under my skin. No amount of mulled wine could keep my teeth from chattering and my shoulders from shivering as I made my way back to the main building. 

“S-Sorella!?” 

I turned my face to the familiar voice and smiled drunkenly, a blush on my cheeks hidden under the flush of the alcohol.

“Ah, hello again C-Cardinal.” I chattered, walking towards him as he rushed to me. “A-are you l-looking for the Yule pyre too?”

“Yule pyre what are you-? Per amore del fottuto Lucifero…” He asked at first before snapping and rubbing his temples. “Every year I tell them to not trick the new siblings and every year they do it anyways.”

“So there is no pyre?” I asked, head fuzzy slightly as he took off his short cape from his cassock, wrapping it firmly around me as he pulled me to his side tightly trying to warm me up

“So, mi dispiace Sorella.” He sighed, walking us back inside. I could hear the party raging now, I started to walk in the direction of merriment but Copia firmly tugged me with him. 

“The party is sti-” I whined, stumbling slightly as he helped me up the stairs. 

“You need to rest and warm up, Sorella. Not to party.” He grumbled, eyes hard as he slowed slightly.

“But I want more of that mulled wine.”

“I think you are done with the wine, Stelina.” He cracked a small smile, eyes soft for a moment as I looked at him with a blush on my face. 

“S-stelina?” I stuttered, a small shy smile on my lips as his gaze flickered between my eyes and my lips. “How did I earn a pet name?”

“You are my star pupil, are you not?” He teased before scooping me up in his arms. I couldn’t help the ungraceful squeal that came out of my mouth before he shushed me. “Come on, we do not want people to get the wrong idea do we?”

“A-and what idea would that be, Cardinal?”

“That I am taking you back to my room for any other reason than to get you warmed up and send you on your way.” He teased, winking at me as we made our way to the senior clergy’s dormitories. I blushed and bit my bottom lip without being able to look him in the eye as he opened his doors and we stepped into the space. 

It was dark, only lit by the fireplace in the middle of his sitting room, but I could see shelves filled with books and trinkets. There was a large wooden desk off to the side, cluttered with all matters he’d need for writing sermons and letters. I could see a set of pocket doors left slightly ajar and beyond it in the dim light from the windows was a large ornately carved bed, the covers left open like someone had just sprung from them. 

“Sit here, Sorella.” Copia’s soothing voice brought me back to the present and I looked to the pile of blankets in front of the fireplace he’d left for me. “I will grab you some clothes to change into.”

“T-thank you, Cardinal.” I smiled, cheeks flushed as I wrapped the warm blankets around me and soaked in the feeling of the fire on my chilled skin. 

“Of course,” He smiled back at me, handing me a stack of clothes. A red track suit and a black t-shirt. “Here. I will leave you to change, would you like some tea?”

“Y-yes please, t-thank you.” I stuttered, partly still cold but also because I was flustered by him and the wine was still sliding around my system. I watched him step into another room, flick the lights on and the sounds of a tea kettle being filled.

I hid under the blanket and took my clothes off quickly, tossing aside the damp pinafore dress and blouse to the side along with my wet bra. I shivered, my blush somehow deepening as I pulled over the shirt and tracksuit jacket. I knew he’d be able to see my nipples under the jacket and I felt warmth pool deep in my belly at the idea of him seeing me like this. Once I pulled on the pants and slid back under the warm blankets, fully enveloped in the scent of him I called out to him. 

“I’m dressed, Cardinal.”

“Good timing, tea is almost ready.” He called back and after a few moments more of my eyes staring at the blazing fire in front of me I felt his hand on my shoulder. Looking up he handed me a mug. 

I reached out taking the offered cup with a smile and a thanks, blanket shifting off my shoulders. I sipped the spiced smelling tea and hummed happily. 

“Chai tea is my favorite, Cardinal. Thank you.” 

“You can call me Copia, Sorella.” He said quietly as he sat next to me in front of the fire. He was still wearing his white suit from earlier, sinfully tight and I had to fight to keep my eyes on his face and not wander over his lithe form as he lounged somewhat awkwardly on the floor with me.

“Okay, thank you then Copia.”

We sat in comfortable silence then, just the crackling of the fireplace between us and the warm spiced tea in our hands, before my mind couldn’t take it any longer and I had to ask him a question.

“Car-Copia?”

“Si?”

“Why do you not like Yule?” It was the question that had been burning in my mind for the last twenty four hours and I couldn’t help but blurt it out.

“Sorella…” He started, heavy sighing as he turned to face me. 

“Y-you don’t have to tell me! I was just curious…” I blushed, stammering and unable to look at him. I felt his fingers under my chin, tilting my eyes to lock with his. The familiar tug in my chest coming on steadily as my heartbeat.

“It is quite alright, Sorella. It was a long time ago, but I lost mi familia on Yule as a young boy.”

“O-oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, no. It is nice to share, I don’t think I have felt the urge to share myself with someone like you in a very long time, Stelina.” His soft wry smile, made my heart hammer in my chest. “I was a young boy, it was a cold icy night in Italia and we were driving home. The car skid on ice, I was the only survivor. Primo had found me, he was traveling to the Monastery back when he was being prepared to ascend, and he took me in. I lived in the orphanage all my life till I felt the calling to join the Siblings, making my way up the ranks till one day I was the head of the clergy.”

“I’m sorry about your family, Copia.” I said, taking his hand in mine. I’d only then noticed he’d taken his gloves off to prepare the tea. I felt his bare hands on mine for the first time, it caused that lighting shock down my fingertips again. “I-I understand why Yule would be painful for you.”

“It is not all bad,” He whispered, I looked up as he leaned into me. I felt like a moth drawn to the flame as my eyes flickered between his face and his lips. “This year I was able to have an excuse thanks to Papa to kiss my star student, si?”

“Copia…” I whimpered, his warm hand skimming from my hip up my side. “Can I confess something to you?”

“What would you like to confess, Stelina?” His face was almost close enough to brush our lips together. 

“I think you held back on our mistletoe kiss.”

“Si? Did I?” He chucked, his other hand slipping to cup the back of my head as he slid closer to me. “Should I fix that for you?”

“Y-yes, I think so. It was my first mistletoe kiss after all.” I mumbled, eyes already half closed. 

“Ah, well I would not want to leave you with any ideas about my kissing skills being lackluster would I?”

“No I don’t think you wou-”

Copia didn’t even let me finish my thought, kissing me with such a fierce grip on my waist I couldn’t help the whimper that slipped from my lips. I slid forward, straddling his strong thighs, with my back to the fire. Blankets long forgotten in favor of his body heat, I curled my arms around his neck as Copia coaxed my lips apart, slipping his tongue to tease my own. 

I whimpered, heat burning deep in my belly, as I bucked my hips against his hardening cock. He hissed into the kiss, hands moving to grip my hips to still me, as I quaked in his lap. He nibbled on my bottom lip, pulling away slightly to catch his breath before catching my pants with his lips. I sighed happily, my fingers playing with the ends of his hair, and I melted into his tender touch. 

He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine, our breath minging as we giggled together. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for the last six months, Sorella.”

“You know…I’ve wanted to kiss you since I met you at that first class.”

“Really?” He pulled back, face filled with surprise. 

“Copia…you called me a very good girl in front of the whole class.” I laughed, cheeks flushing slightly at the memory. “You could have told me to stay for detention and taken me right on your desk and I would have said thank you sir.”

“Careful, Stelina. You are giving me some ideas…” He purred darkly, pressing kisses to my jawline as I trembled in his lap. “Though I should warn you now, my tastes tend to be on the darker side…”

“So are mine.” I whimpered as he bit and lapped at the spot below my earlobe, a gasp slipping from my lips as he wrapped his arms around my waist firmly. 

“È come se fossi stato creato per me all'inferno da Lucifero in persona…” Its like you were made for me in hell by Lucifer himself...

“Maybe I was…” I mumbled, chest heaving as he teased my neck. His hand came up to cup my breast and he groaned into my skin as his thumb brushed over the pebbled peak of my nipple.

“You are mine, Sorella. Mine alone.” He hissed, punctuating his words with a pluck of my nipple. 

“I’m yours alone, Cardinal.”

He growled at me then, capturing my lips in a vicious and heated kiss, and pushed me over onto the floor. Pinning my hand high above my head, I looked up at him with a heated gaze. His hair was ruffled by me, his lips plumped by the force of our kisses, mismatched eyes dark and stormy as he looked down at me. 

“I think I need to punish you for your little adventure in the snow, Si?”

A shiver went down my spine and pooled between my legs as I nodded my head, cheeks flushed. 

“Please, Sir.” I begged, Copia groaned then, settling between my legs and grinding his cock on my cunt. Both of us gasped at the feeling. 

“You will be the death of me, Sorella.”

“It will be our little secret, Cardinal.”

“Ah, we are to be sinners in secret then?”

“For now.”

“If you wish, Sorella. Then who am I to deny you our most honored and cardinal sin, eh?”

#ghost #the band ghost #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus x reader #terzo x reader #sinners in secret au #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iii x reader #papa emeritus lll #my writing

[kithtaehyung]

argh. i tried, y’all, but it’s becoming more and more apparent that i won’t get this done by tonight, so 3tanW will be the first part of 2023🫂

but holy hell it’s been one heck of a ride this year. thank you to everyone that’s shown support on this blog and the newly created @threetangerines one, too.

three tangerines was the start of something that i never ever dreamed would happen, and 13 parts, countless asks and theories and comments, wild ass times, a tiny podcast, 24 run-in’s with Mr. Min, numerous drabbles, and 150,000+ words after that, here we are.. with fireworks setting off the new year, i’m filled to the brim with feelings. i’ve grown a lot through working on this series, both as a writer and as a human. and even though i’m the one giving them life, these characters have given me the same.

before my day gets busier—and my 2023—i wanted to take this moment to sincerely thank you all for being present, no matter how you’ve showed up. there have been many of you that have been reaching out all throughout the year, and many of you that have reached out once or twice despite being silent readers before. i cherish all of you, and i hope we can continue to build this community even more in the coming months.

i wouldn’t have been able to do all of this without y’all. so truly, thank you so much. whether three tangerines is just a fanfic to you, or something much more than that like it is for me, thank you for giving it a chance. i’ll keep working on this series until it’s all wrapped up, and will enjoy the journey to the very end🍊 i hope you’re still there when it happens. but if you aren’t, that’s okay, too.

let’s have a prosperous and healthy 2023. when i watch the fireworks tonight, i’ll be thinking of you, and how loving something we’re afraid of isn’t so weird after all.

— ryen, 221231🖤

#I accepted the fact that i won’t finish #and that’s okay!! #3tan yoongi will also return🍊 #in the new year #and with the teaser for the next canon part! #*ryenfictalk #3tanotes #3tan #ryensnotes #thank you all endlessly for a stunning year

[burnnotice]

hey all! sorry for not being active.

i just want to thank you all so much for the support you’ve shown for my little business, and especially my art.

ive been a struggling artist since i was about ten. never good enough, never could get a following, and forget about commissions.

i want to just say how much it means to me. and for those of you who have purchased any of my burn notice pins (or any items in general), you’re such a kind soul. though truthfully, any support makes me feel so loved.

i don’t like to get personal on here but ive had some of the hardest months of my life recently, and coming back to this little community of silly fellas who likes the silly spy show is always so nice.

to those of you in my asks, I SEE YOU, I SWEAR, and i WILL get to you, im just busy. and. well. have a gimp right arm. hahaha. i just sustained a pretty nasty injury to my wrist which makes me unable to draw (which is DRIVING ME NUTS) or really do any activity with my right hand.

due to my lack of ability to do basically anything right now, i’m running another sale in my shop to get some product to move. when my arm is done being a useless club, i have some more product that i want to move into the shop.

the sale will start NOV. 11 at 12:00am/00:00 and last until NOV. 12 11:59pm/23:59.

the sale is 20% off my entire store if you add $15.00 or more to your cart! again, same as last time, do not feel pressured to buy or even look! i just want to get my items out there (especially my burn notice ones!!!!)

i also just wanted to give you all an update on my absence. im ok, im just perpetually Going Thru It.

love you guys, please take care!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ChaosCultureUS?ref=seller-platform-mcnav

#burn notice