#but the interest -especially in playing it- began in 2018

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

#it's so interesting #important #for me it's 2020 when it became hardcore #but the interest -especially in playing it- began in 2018 #music #poll #polls #heritage post #The Beatles #that’s why I’m here

[dalishious]

A BioWare Guide on How to Murder a Fanbase

I have been a Dragon Age super-fan for almost fourteen years, now. I have played every game, with every DLC. I have read every novel, lore book, and every comic — yes, even the terrible ones that are better off forgotten. I have seen the anime film, the animated series, and the web mini-series. I have enjoyed all of these pieces of the franchise over and over, more times than I can count. So, make no mistake: the negativity you’re about to hear comes from a place of love for this fantasy world, developed by many creative people over the years. I would love nothing more than to see the resurrection of passion in the Dragon Age fandom again. But the unfortunate truth is, that resurrection is only needed because BioWare took the fandom out back and shot it in the first place.

In December 2018, three years after the release of Dragon Age: Inquisition’s Trespasser epilogue DLC, BioWare first announced the then-untitled next Dragon Age game with a teaser trailer. At this point, most fans were anticipating this would mean within the next couple years, we would see the game. This assumption was based on the fact that Dragon Age: Inquisition was first announced in 2012, and released in 2014, with an extra year of development added last minute.

There have been dribbles of extra content since then, adding to the franchise. This was enough to keep some fans still breathing and interested. 2020’s Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights was a lovely anthology. 2020’s Dragon Age: Blue Wraith and 2021’s Dark Fortress were wonderful comics tying up the story started in Knight Errant. And 2022’s Dragon Age: Absolution was a well-animated series with an interesting cast of characters and story. But all these still left the fandom with a major question: What was going on with the next game? It was untypical of BioWare to be so secretive, in comparison to how they handled sharing information of the past games in the franchise. The only form of updates fans still have to go on is mostly just concept art and short stories, hinting that something must be in production. But why was the wait so long?

In 2015, the first version of the next Dragon Age began with a clear vision, clear scope of practice, and a reportedly happy developer team. Most gloriously in my book, there was no multi-player… but this did not align with the Electronic Arts typical money-mad schemes. EA’s push for “games as a service” meant they wanted to monetize all their games as much as possible, and therefore, they wanted them to be a live service — as Anthem demonstrated, that meant sacrificing things that are staples of good RPGs, like narrative and character choice. So in 2017, version one of the next Dragon Age was scrapped and replaced. This new version would have, in total or to at least some degree, an online portion of play.

There is one part of Schreier’s article, “The Past and Present of Dragon Age 4,” that really sticks out to me, regarding this:

“One person close to the game told me this week that Morrison’s critical path, or main story, would be designed for single-player and that goal of the multiplayer elements would be to keep people engaged so that they would actually stick with post-launch content.”

The idea of splitting up components of a game into single-player and multi-player is a terrible idea, because it means that there would be a large bulk of content only accessible through online gaming; something many fans, like myself, are repulsed by. Even if I did enjoy it, I spent most of my life growing up with either no internet or shoddy internet incapable of playing online games. I know many rural people who are still in that position, losing more and more of their favourite gaming pastimes because they are locked out of the ability to play them. It is a disservice to hide content behind a wall like this, especially in a world that is so lore-heavy like Dragon Age. The news of multi-player in Dragon Age understandably upset many, and this is when I first noticed a large drop off in excitement over the next game.

However, in 2021, the failure of Anthem (multi-player) and success of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (single-player) led the executives at EA to bend to the wishes of BioWare leadership and allow them to go back to the drawing board yet again on the next Dragon Age. This meant removing all multi-player content!

While I am very happy that there will reportedly be no multi-player in Dragon Age: Dreadwolf, I can’t help but feel bitter and a little disgusted over the ridiculous development time spent on something no one but EA wanted in the first place. If it weren’t for this foolishness, Dragon Age: Dreadwolf would be in our hands right now. Instead, it’s been in development hell for nearly nine years and counting. Nine years is a long time to expect fans to carry a torch for you through radio silence, but it’s no wonder BioWare has shared barely anything about the next game; it’s been in flux for so long, they likely haven’t had anything concrete to show.

BioWare hurt its reputation even more when the news broke that the studio very suddenly laid off 50 people who were working on Dragon Age: Dreadwolf. This is pretty damning on its own, but BioWare took it a step further. Former developer Jon Renish shared a statement revealing that the studio was only willing to offer laid-off employees two weeks of severance per year of service, and denied health benefits. The denial of health benefits in particular is a pretty wild move for a studio with a reputation for “stress casualties”. The latest news on this is that BioWare has still so far refused to negotiate better severance packages, leading to a lawsuit. The lawsuit originally had 15 former employees, but this dropped due to the fear of not being able to afford to pay their bills. So now, while EA sits on $400 million net income, the laid-off employees are struggling to buy holiday presents for their children. These horrid business practices are not to be ignored when accounting for a lack of faith in a studio. What kind of monsters reward workers who make your games special with vaguely reasoned lay-offs?

The latest news on the Dragon Age: Dreadwolf front from BioWare came early this month, December 2023, with a trailer… announcing a trailer that will come next summer… that will announce the release of the game. Supposedly. Maybe. We’ll see. But by this time, BioWare is something of a laughing stock of their own fandom. Reactions to the video released with a pretty map graphic and a few rendered locations were, from what I personally observed, mostly sardonic in nature. People have commented on the vapourware nature of the game, and like all vapourware, that leads to disintegrating trust.

Despite all this, people like Mary Kirby, (one of the veteran Dragon Age writers who was a victim of the layoffs,) said, “it’s bittersweet that Dreadwolf is my last DA game, but I still hope you all love it as much as I do,” encouraging fans to still support the game when it eventually is released. But after every misstep BioWare has taken, that’s a tough sell now. Fans are finicky, RPG fans more so than others, one could argue. We have our favourites, and many of us stick to those favourites for life over our appreciation for the artistry — but that relationship between studio and fan should go both ways. EA and BioWare has betrayed that relationship, and it will take a hell of a lot to build it back up again, now.

[This piece is also available on Medium!]

#dragon age #dadw #dragon age dreadwolf #bioware #game development #meta #releasing this into the wild and running away

[averagewriter-inthedark]

When Three Became Two 🪽| Platonic!Weasley Twins Imagine

Set during the Battle of Hogwarts

Harry Potter masterlist

Characters & Pairings: George & Fred Weasley x Sister!Weasley Triplet (platonic), the Golden Trio x weasley!sister (platonic)

Content Warnings: Character Death, sadness, angst, mentions of blood and major injury, profanity | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 7k

Premise: The dynamic redheaded duo Fred & George were never particularly close with their older triplet sister Y/N, especially after she was sorted into Slytherin during their first year at Hogwarts. It is not till the Battle of Hogwarts do the twins realize just how important family is, but by then it was too late to make amends.

(Y/E/C)- Your eye color

Note: I’m going to put red hair because you know Weasley but if you want to envision your own hair color that is totally fine too. Also, just so y'all know....I started this piece back in 2018 and recently picked it back up. So....the last 400 words are pretty much the most recent material I added + i did A LOT of editing. So I apologize if the beginning is trash because like I said, 6k of the nearly 7k words are from 6 years ago. I've been hyperfixating on the Weasley twins again which is why I was like 'maybe I should finish that imagine I started...'

Italics are flashbacks

------------------

Y/n Weasley felt the sweat and blood drip off her forehead as she ran through the halls of the school she had spent several years in which became a second home to her. She was out of breath, dodging and reflecting spells that were casted her way from the surrounding death eaters. Screams and shouts echoed from every corner, flashes of red and green light nearly blinding her (Y/E/C) eyes while her flaming red hair swished when she ran. Her breath was wavering, she could see several of her fellow Order members dueling around her. Passing the Great Hall, her pace nearly faltering when her eyes locked on the doors, the memory of walking through the first time when she was just a nervous little eleven year old began to play in the redheads mind….

Y/n sighed, stepping off the Hogwarts Express for the first time. Her twin brothers had already raced to the boats leaving the smaller, although older, of the three behind. Picking up her robes that were slightly dragging due to her small stature, Y/n followed her fellow classmates to the boating docks, casting a smile to Hagrid as she walked past him, who in return smiled back. She found a boat that already had two other first years seated, and quickly took the spot adjacent to a girl about her age.

“Hi,” the girl smiled to the redhead, “I’m Angelina Johnson. What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/n Weasley, it’s nice to meet you,” the two shook hands with smiles.

“What house are you hoping to be in?”

“Honestly,” Y/n sighed, “I’m not sure. My whole family has been in Gryffindor, including my two older brothers who are currently here. It would be nice to be sorted there so I have my family, but I’ve always felt different.”

“Are those other two ginger boys your brothers?” Angelina pointed to the boat where Fred and George were laughing loudly while talking with a dark-skinned boy. Y/n nodded after looking where Angelina was pointing, turning back with a grim expression.

“Yeah, that’s Fred and George. We’re triplets, I’m the oldest of the bunch yet I never seem to be included in anything.”

“Aw, that’s not right,” Angelina said with a frown. The two continued to talk the entire boat ride to the castle, learning about their backgrounds and finding out  they had several similar interests. One could tell that the two instantly connected and were on the road to becoming best friends. The two girls got off the boat once it got to the docks, Y/n helping Angelina when she nearly tripped as she got out, to which the young girl was grateful for. 

“Oh my gosh thank you!” Angelina exclaimed, “That would have been so embarrassing.” Y/n laughed slightly, fixing the girl’s robes.

“No problem, I wouldn't want you tripping on the first night and being made fun of before classes even started.” The two girls followed everyone to the entrance of the castle, beaming in awe of everything they passed. Climbing the steps that lead to the great hall seemed like forever, but soon they were faced with an older woman who wore a pointed hat on top of her head and green robes. 

“Good evening,” she greeted, “I am Professor McGonagall. In a few moments, the doors behind me will open and you will enter the Great Hall where you will then be sorted into one of the four houses named after the four founding members of Hogwarts; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin--.” She continued to explain the four houses to the children before the doors opened. When they did, Professor McGonagall escorted the group into the Great Hall. Many looked at the ceiling, gasping at the candles floating in midair. Some caught the eyes of soon to be fellow classmates, the students sending smiles to the young ones. 

The group halted in front of the steps leading to the podium. The members of the head table gazed down on the children, Headmaster Dumbledore giving them a warm smile to welcome them making many feel more at ease. Professor McGonagall stood beside a stool, on top of it was a brown pointed hat. 

“When I call your name,” she said, capturing everyone's attention, “You will step up, take a seat on the stool and I will place the sorting hat on your head where you will be sorted into your houses.” Y/n felt her hands become clammy, nerves racking through here with each name being called getting closer to hers. When Angelina was called and sorted into Gryffindor, Y/n clapped for her with a smile, happy for her new friend. She immediately hoped she would also be sorted into the house to be with not only her older brothers, but also with Angelina. 

“Weasley, Fred.” The ginger boy raced up the stairs, careful not to trip over his robes and took a seat on the stool with a grin. The hat was placed onto his head and it took only moments before the hat exclaimed, “GRYFFINDOR!!” Cheers erupted from the lion house, the older Weasley boys, Charlie and Percy, clapping loudly for their brother and greeting him with open arms when he ran to the table. George was called next, the boy also running to the stool and the Gryffindor house applauded with joy once more hearing the sorting hat call out the name again. Fred and George embraced in a big hug, happy they were going to be in the same house and sat next to each other beside their brothers. 

The room went quiet and Professor McGonagall read out the name many had already guessed was next, “Weasley, Y/n.” The small eleven-year-old let out a shaky breath, ascending the steps before taking a seat on the stool. She flinched when the hat was placed on her head and heard a gasp emitted from it.

“Ahh another Weasley,” the hat began, “only you are much different than your many siblings huh? Loyal to your family, a trait you value, but Hufflepuff is not for you. There is no doubt you are brave like a Gryffindor, there will be a time your bravery will be put to the test, but there is a strong ambition that lies within you. You are a very determined young one, and will do anything to accomplish your goals.” Y/N felt her heart begin to beat faster as the hat continued talking, “So, there is only one house in which you will find what you are looking for and that is SLYTHERIN!!”

That day, while no one wanted to admit it, changed everything. The twins hardly ever talked to Y/N, even less than what they already had. Many of the Slytherins ignored her, not enjoying the fact that a member of the blood-traitor family was sorted into the notorious pure-blood house. Even though Y/N was of pure blood, it did not matter to them, she was still relatively shunned from her housemates. Professor Snape was displeased at first until she proved she had a talent for potion making, becoming more advanced than any student he had ever taught. It was then he treated the Weasley girl with some actual respect and even allowed her to practice in the classroom whenever she pleased as long as she promised to never let her brothers get their hands on any of the ingredients he stored in the room. 

Charlie, Angelina, and Cedric Diggory from Hufflepuff seemed to be the only people besides her parents and professors that looked beyond the fact she was in Slytherin. Others included her older brother Bill, her younger sister Ginny and eventually Hermione Granger. The bushy haired Gryffindor met the older Weasley in her first year at Hogwarts. After being told of the talented potion maker from Ron, Hermione sought to meet her. Y/N was shocked when the girl first introduced herself, but it was the start of a treasured friendship Y/N held dear to her. 

“Hi!” a cheerful voice sounded, causing Y/N to look up from her textbook. Her eyes met the warm brown ones of a petite girl bushy haired girl sporting a Gryffindor tie and robes. The Slytherin girl gazed at her confused, looking around  the library in case she was addressing someone else other than her. By the warm smile the first-year gave her, Y/N realized she was in fact talking to her. 

“Uh hi?” she said with a questionable tone, brows furrowed. The girl stuck her hand out which made Y/N slightly flinch by how fast the movement was.

“I’m Hermione Granger,” she introduced. Y/N hesitantly extended her own hand, clasping it with the girl's small one and shook it lightly.

“Y/N Weasley.”

“I know,” Hermione smiled, “Ron told me about you. Well he did not tell me much except your name and that you were in Slytherin. He also mentioned you were really good with potions and Snape likes you.” Y/N could not help but slightly chuckle at the last sentence.

“I wouldn’t say Snape ‘likes’ me, but he certainly tolerates me more than my siblings. You’ve probably already seen that the twins are pranksters, they tend to cause him immense distress.” This made Hermione laugh and Y/N felt her lips curl up. She then noticed the girl holding several textbooks, one of which was a first-year potions book, “Is there anything I can help you with Hermione?” 

“I just wanted to get to know you,” the girl said warmly, which made Y/N slightly shocked. “Ron and the twins did not speak much about you and when they did they made it seem like you were horrible just because you were sorted into Slytherin. I know that a house does not define who a person really is, so I wanted to talk to you myself and it appears you are not a mean or evil person that your house makes people think you are.” Y/N could not believe what she was hearing and she could not detect any hint of a lie in the girl's words. 

“Wow,” She breathed, “Sorry, I’m just a little taken back. It’s been a while since I’ve really heard anyone say that. Only my older siblings, minus Percy, my parents, my sister, and a few people who I happen to be friends with think the same way you do. Ron and the twins just really ignore me.”

“But aren’t you and the twins actually triplets?” The question caused Y/N to frown and look down at her book.

“Yeah,” she muttered softly, “We are. Many people forget that we are because we never act like it, but it’s okay, I’m used to the two leaving me out. It happened before we were sorted into our houses so it does not bother me much anymore. I’ve learned to live with it.” Hermione frowned at that, feeling sad for the older Weasley.

“That’s not right. You guys are siblings, family. They should not treat you like that.” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. One day they will realize how they act wrong, until then I can only be patient.” Hermione nodded though she still possessed a frown  and Y/N pushed away the many books laid on the table, gesturing for the girl to take a seat. “Here, sit down. You said you want to get to know me, so let's just talk while we do our homework and you can see how I really am compared to what Ron tells you. I’ll even help you with potions if you need.” Hermione beamed, placing her books on the table and sitting down across from the redhead. The two talked for hours until it was time for curfew, getting to know one another and Y/N offering help when Hermione had a question on a certain subject and Y/N felt it was the start of a blossoming friendship.

The years continued, and Y/N only had few friends, hardly ever seeing her siblings due to them all being sorted into Gryffindor leaving her alone. Her friendship with Hermione grew and she even looked at the girl as a sister, the Gryffindor looking at her the same way. Y/N and Angelina remained close even after being sorted in different houses. Despite having few friends, she could not wait to graduate and finally go off on her own, already planning to continue her work in potions and become a potioneer after spending countless summers devoted to perfecting different elixirs. Several events happened during her time at Hogwarts, including her sister Ginny unlocking the Chamber of Secrets and the tragedy of the TriWizard Tournament. 

When the Order of the Phoenix was back in business to stop Voldemort following the death of her dear friend Cedric, Y/n immediately joined despite objections from her parents. The death of her friend caused immense grief. She became depressed in the following months, hardly sleeping due to nightmares of his corpse and she rarely ate, resulting in her facial features becoming more hollow. It was not until she joined the Order that she was back to her normal self and that was because of her determination to bring justice to Cedric’s death. The Order faced great loss. The deaths of Sirius, Dumbledore, Moody and with her brother George losing his ear proved how real the war was and the fight to make the world a safer place. 

Now it was the second of May, and the fight of everyone’s life was in place. Death Eaters swarmed every inch of Hogwarts, attacking students whether they were armed or not. Y/N ran down the corridors, deflecting spells and sending jinxes back and forth. Her adrenaline was soaring, not knowing where exactly she was headed, but the only thing she knew was to survive and protect the students around her. Y/n never thought she would ever cast the killing curse in her life, but when a second-year Hufflepuff was about to be killed, the spell left her mouth before she could stop herself. The Death Eater fell back unmoving, Y/n took the hand of the small boy she saved and hurried him to the nearest dormitory or classroom. 

“Here, go!” she ushered him into the room, “Stay here and do not leave! Hide somewhere and be alert, you understand?” The boy nodded furishouly, his small body shaking and clutching his wand tightly in his hand. The redhead raced out of the room, closing the door shut before darting down the hallway. A flash of familiar hair caught her eye and her feet carried her to the source. “Ginny!” She shouted upon seeing her sister. The younger Weasley halted her movement at the sound, turning around only to collide in the older one’s embrace. “Oh my God,” Y/n breathed, “Are you okay? Why are you out here? I thought you were to stay in the Room of Requirement until this was over?”

“Harry needed me to leave,” she told her sister, the two moving to a corner where they were slightly hidden from the battle, “He needed to search the room for a possible horcrux. Once he went in, I left and came here. I couldn’t just let my friends and family fight with the chances of them getting killed and just sit and wait!” Y/n sighed, bringing a hand to wipe the sweat on her face which resulted in more dirt being rubbed. 

“While I don’t like you being involved, I understand where you’re coming from.” She pauses to rub her nose bridge, placing her hands on Ginny’s shoulders to look at her sternly, “Mum and dad might kill me for letting you fight, but there’s really no time to negotiate and stop you. At least find Neville or someone who can stay close to you and keep you covered, okay?” Ginny nodded, embracing her sister once more in a tight hug. 

“Stay safe, sis.”

“I will,” Y/n told her, “You stay safe too, I’ll see you soon.” The two pulled away and Y/n bolted away down the hall while Ginny rushed to Tonks after seeing her battle a Death Eater and rushing to her aid. Y/n turned the corner, something in her stomach dropping and her intuition telling her something bad was about to happen. She heard the sound of a duel taking place and followed it. Familiar voices echoed in her ears and her pace picked up. The redhead rounded the corridor, jets of light flashing in her eyes and she spotted Fred and Percy battling Death Eaters while Harry, Ron, and Hermione helped while dodging incoming jinxes. 

“Hello, Minister!” Percy bellowed, sending a jinx at the man, “Did I mention I’m resigning?” 

“You’re joking, Perce!” Fred shouted and looked at his brother. Y/n watched the two and in the corner of eyes she could see a Death Eater with their wand raised. Her brothers could not see the man, and she noticed he was pointing at the wall directly behind them. Before she could think, Y/n sprinted as fast as her feet carried her, eyes widening when the flash of light emitted from the want of the assailant. At that moment, nothing mattered other than making sure her brothers were safe. All the years of being ignored and looked down upon by them due to being sorted in Slytherin seemed to vanish, and Y/n felt water line her eyes as she got closer. 

“You actually are joking, Perce… I don’t think I’ve heard you joke since you were--.”

“Fred! Percy!” Her scream ignited and the two snapped their heads toward her just in time for the redhead to push them both out of the way at the exact moment the air exploded around them. The two brothers along with the Golden Trio were flown back from the impact, all landing onto the stone ground with a groan. Pain erupted to several areas of their bodies which would surely bruise. Dust covered them, their vision blurred from how much was in the air. 

Fred pulled his body up, groaning from the pain in his side and coughing from how much dust filled his throat. He scanned the area and saw how the wall he was in front of was blasted apart with stone and wood now covering every inch of the ground with a large pile in the middle. It took two seconds for the ginger to realize what had happened, the last thing he saw was his sister running at him before he was flown back. He immediately got up and rushed to the pile of debris, staggering over the stones while shouting his sister's name.

“Y/n!!” He screamed, moving at a fast pace. “Y/n, can you hear me!” The boy began throwing the many pieces of stone and wood away from the pile, searching for any sign of movement and listening for sound. Percy and the trio joined in, the group shouting Y/n name and digging through the debris. “C’mon Y/n I need you to tell me where you are!” Fred grew more and more worried, feeling his heart sink by the second. It was not until he heard a pained groan and rushed to the source. He spotted a hand peeking through the rubble and Fred shouted for the others saying he found her. They all rushed to him, removing the stone covering Y/n's body, allowing Fred to pull her out of the wreckage when they were able to get her upper half revealed. She let out a scream, pain erupting all through her and Fred tried his best to get her out as gently as he could. 

“I got you, sis.” He said with a shaky voice, “I got you.” With one quick but harsh tug, Y/n was removed from the rubble and was laid onto the floor. Everyone surrounded her, becoming frozen by how much blood covered her body. Cuts and gashes painted her skin, her clothing ripped and chunks of stone were embedded into the many wounds. Her breath wavered, gasping for air and they all felt their heart race at the sight. Hermione, with shaky hands, pressed a palm on to a deep cut in Y/n’s neck. The Weasley girl hissed, blood filling her mouth and dripping down her lips. 

“You’re going to be okay, Y/n,” Hermoine’s voice cracked, trying not to look at the many wounds which the girl could tell will be fatal if not treated immediately. Ron could see a large gash right above his sister’s temple and gently laid his hand on top of it, while biting his lip to stop a sob from escaping. He knew it was bad, and his sister was dying in front of him. They needed a healer, but the Great Hall was several corridors away and Ron feared she would not make it in time. Percy began calling for help, applying pressure onto her stomach which had been cut open when a large piece of wood had impaled her. Harry stayed on his feet with his wand ready for any threats while also keeping his eye on Y/n, his heart dropping at the sight of her battered body. 

“I can’t--,” Y/n gasped with a tired breath as Fred held her hand, “I can’t feel my legs.” She could hear them gasp, Fred’s hand becoming tense in her hold. 

“We need to get her to Madam Pomfrey!” Fred shouted and went to pick her up, the others keeping their hands on her wounds to hold the bleeding but when they tried Y/n erupted in wails from the pain filling her by the slightest movement. It was like a volcano, fire filling her blood. The thick liquid poured out of her wounds, her skin becoming pale. Hermione’s hands were painted red, as were Ron and Percy’s. The sound of her screams were so loud it echoed through the nearby hallway and caused tears to stream down Hermione’s face.

“Stop!” she shouted, “Fred stop! It’s too late, she won’t make it!” 

“You don’t know that!” He yelled back trying to get his sister into his arms, his clothes now coated in red. Y/n began to shake from the pain, becoming numb by the intensity and Fred started to panic. 

“Fred, she’s losing too much blood,” Hermione cried, “She’ll bleed out before we can even get her to the Great Hall.”

“Are you serious, Hermione?!” Fred shouted in disbelief over the chaos around them, “Do you even hear yourself?! She’s your friend and you’re gonna let her die!? ”

“Fred stop,” Y/n's hoarse voice whispered. The ginger boy looked down at his sister, her upper body being held up in his arms while the others continued to put pressure on her wounds but blood continued to seep through their fingers. 

“What--?”

“She’s r-right,” Y/n interrupted, “I-I won’t make it. The pain is too much--I-I can’t move and I'm losing too much blood.” She was shaking, fighting against what was pulling her to the other side to have a few precious moments with her family. “You need to get out of here, go find mum and dad.” Fred could not believe what he was hearing, neither Ron nor Percy. All three boys felt their eyes water and Fred tightened his hold on her. Percy grabbed her other hand, and Ron kept his on her head, covering her wound while tears flooded his face. 

“Y/n,” Fred stuttered her name, “We can get you to a healer. Madam Pomfrey will help and she will heal you, you’ll be fine.” The words were more to convince himself. He watched as her lips curled up, tired and broken eyes looking into his. 

“Fred,” she sighed, “You and I both know that I am not going to make it.” A sob escaped his throat.

“No! You’re not dying! You’re going to be okay!” He cried, dropping his head so his cheek rested on her hair. “You’re going to get out of here. You’re going to go home and learn how to walk again and become a potioneer like you’ve always dreamed of. You’ll get married and have kids…” He trailed off when sobs overtook him and he began to cry into her hair. Fred never believed he would ever have to watch his sister die in his arms. He had never felt more pain in his life than in that moment watching her gasp for air as her life started to fade away. What made it even more painful was knowing she saved him in the process, “I was supposed to die, not you! Not you!” 

Fred started to think back to all the times he and George would ignore Y/n, never including her in pranks or just ordinary things. The moment she was sorted into Slytherin they acted like they were not even related at times and Fred felt more tears fall knowing he could never make up for it. He won’t ever get the chance to show her how sorry he was. 

“Y/N go get your brothers and tell them supper is ready.”

“Yes mum.” Y/N raced up the many flights of stairs in the burrow in search of her twin brothers. When she got to the room, she knocked gently and waited for a reply but did not hear one so she pushed it open to see the two boys sitting on the ground in between their beds with several items in front of them. 

“Hey, hey!” Fred shouted in surprise and George started to gather their many inventions away from her sight. “You can’t just come in here without saying anything!” Y/N frowned at him.

“I knocked,” she told him, “neither of you responded.”

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, “Still does not mean you can just walk in our room unannounced. We are doing something very exclusive and can’t risk you snitching it to mum or dad or your pal Snape.” Y/n’s eyes narrowed at her brother.

“Snape is not my ‘pal.’ He just stands me more than you lot because you are always causing him trouble.” George mumbled something under his breath, but the girl could not hear it. “And besides, I haven’t told anyone about your previous antics so why would I do so now?”

“Oh please,” Fred said in an annoyed tone, “we know you told Filch that we were the ones who put fireworks in his office second-year.” Y/N’s jaw dropped at the accusation, her cheeks becoming inflamed as anger rose.

“I did no such thing!” she shouted, “whoever told you that was a lie! I never ratted you out to Filch and why would he believe me? He thinks I’m just as bad as you two because I’m a Weasley.”

“Sometimes I don’t understand how you are one?”

“Excuse me?” she said appalled, “What in the bloody hell do you mean by that?” The twins just looked at her with blank expressions while she felt her eyes begin to water. 

“Well first,” Fred started, “the most obvious is that you are the only one of us who got sorted into Slytherin. A house you know is full of pure-blooded pricks and bullies who hate everyone but themselves. You don’t like quidditch like the rest of us and prefer to be by yourself working on potions. Snape likes you, but hates the rest of us and you just have always been the outkast in the family. Who knows, you may even become a Death Eater like the rest of your housemates. Maybe you already are one and just haven’t said anything, wouldn’t be surprised you never tell anyone in this house what you are up to.” Y/n stayed silent when Fred finished, she felt a small tear fall down her cheek but neither of her brothers looked like they were unapologetic. She bit her lip giving a small nod and wiped away the drop.

“Mum wants you to know that supper is ready.” Turning on her heel, Y/n paced out of the room with the door slamming shut behind her. She shoved past Percy who simply glared at her for her attitude and bumping into him, obviously not knowing what the twins had said to her to cause such emotion. The redhead burst into her room, collapsing onto her bed and pushing her face into her pillow as cries erupted from her, being muffled by the pillow. She felt her heart break, her brother's words replaying in her head causing torment like a radio playing a horrible song over and over again. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he wept into her hair, “I’m sorry I treated you so badly. For everything. Ignoring you, pranking you in ways that had humiliated you and made you cry. Accusing you of snitching on us when you never did.” He held her close to his body, breaking inside each time she made a sound of agony. “I’m sorry for what I said to you during fourth year. I’m such a horrible brother,” he sobbed, “Please sis, don’t go. Don’t leave us.” 

“It’s okay, Fred,” she hushed him, stroking his arm with the hand Percy wasn’t holding. The two other Weasley boys were sobbing next to her. They two often treated her unfairly and were now going to live in tremendous guilt and despair, begging God to not take her. “It’s okay,” she said again, this time quieter.

“Y-Y/N,” Percy stuttered, but she simply hushed him.

Her voice grew weaker, and the group knew it was only moments before she would be gone forever. “It’s gonna be okay. I love--,” it was getting harder to speak, but she was fighting. “I love you all.”

“We love you too. We always will,” Ron said and Hermione started to cry harder, leaning onto Ron for support. Harry no longer looked around for Death Eaters, his own face drenched in tears at the sight in front of him. He felt anguish in him, seeing another friend die at the hands of those who wanted him dead. 

“You think I’ll see Cedric up there?” She questioned, eyelids falling shut and the image of her best friend filled her mind. Happy at the thought of possibly seeing him again. Fred let out a small cry before she felt him nod. 

“Y-yeah,” he croaked, “He’ll be waiting for you. You’ll be together again just like before.” 

“Freddie?”

“Yeah, sis?”

“Take care of George,” she managed to breathe out, “Tell him I love him.” 

“I will,” He sniffed, feeling her take one last breath.

“Promise me you will live.” The air left her body one last time, the pain no longer present and Y/n felt at peace, unable to hear Fred’s last words to her. 

 “I promise. I love you, sis.” But Y/N did not respond, causing him to gently shake her.  Her lack of reaction caused Fred to collapse into a heap of cries when her body finally went limp in his arms. “Y-y/n?” 

Percy felt her hand become unmoved and he too, cried in heartbreak. Ron held onto Hermione, turning his body away so he did not see his now dead sister in his brother’s arms. His heart was heavy with agony and he could not help console Hermione for he was in the same state. Harry dropped his head, sadness all within him at the loss of someone he looked at as family. He would never forgive himself, and he wished nothing more for Y/n to be brought back.

“Y/n,” Fred tried again, but to no avail. “W-wake up. Please w-wake u-up.”

The Golden Trio had to force themselves to leave, to continue their search before more people died. Harry and Hermoine having to drag poor Ron away from his siblings. None wanted to go, but time was limited and it took all their strength to get up and leave Percy and Fred with Y/n’s body. Promising Ron they’d get her to their family once it was safe to do so. 

The two Weasley brothers lost track of time. They stayed put, mourning the loss of their sister until the battle ceased and they were drained of tears. It soon became quiet in the castle, Death Eaters had retreated upon Voldermorts order and bodies laid all through the halls. 

“We should take her to the Great Hall,” Percy spoke with a dry voice, hoarse from all the cries. “Take her to mum and dad.” Fred was still, looking in front of him at the dusted hallway full of debris from the explosion that killed his sister. She was still held close in his arms, eyes closed and the blood stopped flowing but coated every inch of her skin along with Fred’s clothes. It took all his might to look down, eyes landing on her face. She looked peaceful, her lips slightly curled as though she had died smiling and that gave Fred some sort of comfort despite her damaged body. 

That she left the world at peace. 

“You think she’ll watch over us? Even though we treated her like shit?” His voice cracked. The older Weasley gazed down at his little sister, a small yet heartbroken smile on his lips and he cleared his throat. His hand came over her forehead to move some of her red hair, flinching at how cold her skin was.

“Yeah,” he said, “I think she will.” Fred carefully stood, cradleling Y/n in his arms. Percy rose beside him, grabbing their discarded wands and leading them out of the hallway, careful to avoid the debris around them. They reached the Great Hall, hearing the sound of others. Many were painful groans, others were cries of despair. The two emerged in the doorway, paying no mind to those around them and instead continued to walk forward until they saw their parents, Ginny and older brothers Bill and Charlie. Ginny was the first to see them, and rushed to them relieved they were okay and searched for her sister, but when her eyes landed on what was in Fred’s arms she halted. She could see the flaming red hair similar to hers and the blood stained clothing on the unmoving body. Her mouth went agape, hand flying to cover it as her eyes filled with water threatening to escape.

“Please tell me it’s not--.” But Percy simply shook his head, looking at his baby sister with sorrow and Ginny let out a small scream, falling to the ground but was caught by Bill. He stared at the Y/n’s lifeless body, his heart breaking into pieces and he tried desperately to console Ginny, but found it hard to battle his own grief emerging. Molly and Arthur ran upon hearing their daughter’s scream and froze when they saw their son.

“Fred,” Arthur said in a hesitant voice. His son looked at him with tear filled eyes, lips quivering and for Fred, he could feel his body start to shake.

“I-I-I,” he could not find the words, “S-she saved us. She saved us…..” His knees nearly gave out and his brothers Percy and Charlie helped him lower their deceased sister onto the ground. After gently placing the fallen Weasley onto the stone floor, Fred once more collapsed over her body as his grief overpowered him once more. Molly fell back into her husband’s arms, wailing in agony, he too had trouble holding her up as his body racked with sobs. Ginny was still on the floor, being cradled by Bill while Charlie and Percy stood over Fred, rubbing his back with tears of their own falling. 

Onlookers watched with solemn expressions. The sight was gut wrenching but unfortunately resembled many throughout the Great Hall as friends mourned friends and teachers draped blankets over their deceased students.

“No! Not my girl!” Molly screamed, “Please not m-my girl.” She fell to her knees, crawling over to the opposite side of her daughter's body and caressed her cold cheek. Blood was all over her precious face, adorned with cuts and gashes, the most horrific on her head and neck. Molly did not even want to look down at Y/n’s body, for she was afraid of what else had happened to cause her daughter such a horrific death. Arthur could see the gaping wound in Y/n’s torso, his stomach lurching at the sight and he had to turn away as he felt nauseous. 

George burst through the entrance of the Great Hall. He had separated from his family and Fred at some point during the battle which resulted in his anxiety to soar at not knowing where they were. He heard the wounded were being treated in the Great Hall along with the bodies of those who perished being moved until further notice, so the ginger bolted to the location as fast as he could. His eyes scanned every inch of the large dining hall, and soon he could see a group of people with the same colored hair as him, instantly relieved. 

George walked with a rushed pace, slowing with confusion when he heard the wretched cries of his parents and siblings. They were all huddled, blocking his view of the ground. He immediately looked for Fred, becoming relaxed when he saw his brother alive. But George’s stomach dropped at the broken look painted on his twin’s face.

“F-Fred,” he stuttered out as he approached him, “what’s wron----.” Something behind Fred’s shoulder caught his eye, George’s gaze falling to the still figure on the ground. That’s when he realized the fact Fred was kneeling on the ground, hovered over the figure, and his mother was sobbing into their neck. 

His twin lifted his head, turning to meet George’s eyes, which revealed the horrific reality waiting for him. There, lying on the stretcher covered in a dark red--almost black--substance and nearly unrecongnizable, was his sister Y/n. Unmoving. Dead. 

All the air left George’s body, face consorting to match his family as he took in sight. The clothes she wore were tattered. Dirt and grime painted the visible parts of her skin not coated in her blood. Gashes upon gashes. A nasty intrusion on her temple and torso. George felt the bile form in his throat and before he could stop it the redhead was hunched over, spilling the contents of his stomach onto the floor. Arthur instantly went to him, rubbing his back. Once it appeared George had got it all out, Arthur produced a handkerchief from his pocket, wiping his son's mouth as he had seemed to freeze.

“Y-Y/n,” he dropped to his knees. Crawling to Fred and their mother. His twin slightly moved aside to give space. George instantly reached for her hand, devastated when the cold touch hit his skin. “No.” Tears dropped from his eyes, George looking to his family for them to say it was all a nightmare. “N-no. No!” 

“George,” Molly whispered, reaching over to comfort him. 

He shook his head, not wanting to believe the truth. “What happened?!” Fred winced, returning to a heap of sobs. 

“She saved us,” Percy whispered, making George look up. “There was an explosion. A-and she pushed us out of the way. A wall came crashing down,” the older Weasley boy flinched, head dropping as he relieved the most horrifying moment of his life. “It crushed her.”

Molly wheeped into her daughter's chest. Picturing the scene. Unable to save her baby girl who she had spent so long wishing for. 

For the twins, it was like a piece of them was now missing. Creating a hole deep in their hearts. They all came into the world together. Y/n first, then Fred, lastly George. How were they supposed to go forward without the third piece of their puzzle? 

This question only surfaced the ocean-sized guilt swimming in their veins. Like Fred had done in the precious moments he held their dying sister, George was replaying all the times he had tormented Y/n. The constant pranking. Humiliating her in front of her friends and schoolmates. Getting her in trouble with their antics when she took the fall. Accusing her of snitching on them. 

George crumbled, clutching onto Y/n’s hand as he lowered his head to her torso. Praying to whoever above to take care of her in the afterlife and begging her spirit to forgive him. Wishing he could turn back time to tell her how much he loved her. He wanted his sister back. 

A cold breeze brushed his ear, almost like a whisper. George thought he felt a hand on his shoulder, but when he turned the closest person to him was Percy, and he was at least five steps away. 

Whatever it was Fred had felt it two. The redheads glancing to one another, anguish filling their gaze. For they had their suspicions of what--or who--was responsible for the touch. 

Turning back to Y/n’s body, Fred and George pictured what life was in store for them without their sister. Reality sunk in. No longer a bright light, but instead dimly lit. 

For what was once three became two. 

#weasley twins #george weasley #fred weasley #weasley twins x reader #weasley twins imagine #fred weasly x reader #george wealsey x reader #weasley!reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #fred weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfiction #ron weasley #ron weasley imagine #slytherin!reader #platonic!reader #harry potter angst

[redhairedwolfwitch]

Nothing Stays The Same - Ana-Maria Crnogorčević x Reader

A/n: This was a request. It gets a little spicy but there's also a twist and some chaos here... so this fic is not what you think it is from the title.

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You were eighteen when you moved to Frankfurt, a budding forward for 1. FFC Frankfurt and a first year undergraduate at the university, studying sport science. It hadn’t taken you a long time to develop a rapport with the staff, but the friendships with your teammates were a lot more interesting. Your first three years at FFC Frankfurt, you were teased for what was brushed off as a puppy love crush on Ana. It was something that she became aware of, but would just softly smile at you, rolling her eyes at your teasing teammates because you were young and needed to focus on your studying when you weren’t playing football.

You were twenty-one when Ana left FFC Frankfurt for the US, joining the Portland Thorns and the NWSL. The same season that ended with Ana leaving, a new transfer from playing college football in the US arrived, who eventually became your best friend. Laura Freigang. 

Laura ended up being there for you through everything, going with you to your graduation and comforting you after your relationship went up in flames, not letting your ex ruin as much as she could have, but some things were still ruined for you.

Leaving what was now called Eintracht Frankfurt after the 2019/20 season, you left your fellow chaotic forward, and Germany, behind. Barcelona Femeni had decided they wanted to sign you for the next season due to injuries and transfers in their current squad. You were twenty-three when you arrived in Barcelona.

Your Spanish was, well, you weren’t as confident with it as you were with German or English, but you knew from looking at the Barcelona roster that you wouldn't be stuck struggling without any help. One thing you didn’t expect however, was to end up on a team with Ana again, the familiar nerves you thought had disappeared years ago cropping back up at the realisation you’d see her again.

However, you were not the same lovestruck eighteen year old crushing on someone older than you, anymore. The years at Frankfurt after Ana left had become powerful years for your development as a player, and as a person. Laura knew this, especially since she had helped you with everything to do with your ex, and as your chaotic best friend, loved to tease you about the idea of you and a Spanish girl instead of the Swiss player who was seven years your elder, and had moved on from your puppy love crush to date someone else.

Ana wasn’t sure how she felt when your transfer had been announced, her first thoughts going to her time at FFC Frankfurt, before reflecting on your skills as a forward… then remembering your little puppy crush on her, and how you’d stammer over your words, get flustered so easily and do whatever she asked you to. It was sweet, but that was all it was.

So when the other girls began to research you, finding your socials, she did the same, scrolling far back enough that she found your graduation photos with another player who was at FFC Frankfurt, arriving in 2018, Laura Freigang. She didn’t expect to hear her ex voicing the same thoughts that she was having.

“Are they dating Laura Freigang?”

Mapi’s question floored her, but she, like the other girls, had no answer. She was not even sure if you knew Spanish, but as she began to scroll up from after she left in 2018 to now, in 2020, Ana discovered she didn’t really know that much about you after losing contact.

You didn’t reach out to Ana upon your arrival to Barcelona, only making contact with her when she approached you talking to Caro, testing Caro’s German since she had spent five years at Wolfsburg before coming to Barcelona last season, the same season as Ana did.

“Na, kannst du noch Deutsch oder hast du schon alles wieder verlernt?” you teased, asking Caro if she still could speak German or if she had forgotten it already, having made a beeline for one of the players you knew could understand you, since your Spanish was very much lacking.

Catching Ana looking at you, you shot her a small smile before continuing to talk to Caro until the meeting began. You could feel more than one set of eyes on you as you spotted one of the Spanish defenders, María León looking at you, sending her an amused smirk/smile before trying to listen to the meeting again, grateful that Caro translated the important bits for you.

Heading out onto the pitch for the first training session, you’d already been in once before preseason, working with the staff to show what rate you were already at, but you immediately stayed close to Caro, until Ana walked over.

“Hey, wir werden heute zusammen trainieren, wir dachten uns, dass es vielleicht hilft, weil wir ja schon mal zusammen gespielt haben?” Ana explained, teaming up with you for the training drills since you both were forwards and knew each other from Frankfurt. You nodded as you headed off with Ana, smiling softly as she translated the instructions of the drills for you, before she turned to you with a smile.

“Dann zeig mal, was du alles so gelernt hast, seitdem ich gegangen bin.” Ana sassed, raising an eyebrow as she passed the ball to you.

The training drills had been fine until the attackers had to team up with the defenders, separating you from anyone else who spoke German in the process. Mapi raised an eyebrow at the confused look on your face at what Leila was trying to say, her Spanish going way over your head as you tried to pick out any words you knew, even glancing around at everyone else doing the drills to get an idea of what to do.

“Okay, um… I seriously need to find a Spanish teacher or something… Lo siento Leila!” you grumbled as you wiped at your forehead, feeling yourself starting to perspire in the heat.

“I can teach you, cariño?” Mapi offered, walking over to try to explain the drill to you, since Leila was still struggling.

“Danke schön, María!” you smiled, biting your lip as Mapi asked you to call her Mapi instead, about to explain the drill until Caro walked over, Mapi was taking too long so she explained it in German for you.

It was as Caro was walking away with Mapi that you called out to her, “Hey, ist es immer so heiß?” asking if it was always so hot, but the laughter from Caro suggested that it always was, making training a bit more interesting as all the girls were sparkling with sweat, and you were just about dying. No doubt it would amuse Laura when you called her later.

You had sparked intrigue in Mapi from the moment your transfer was announced, she knew she wanted to get to know you as more than just a teammate from watching you during training, but she waited until she finally had her chance, when the team went out to a club the night before a day-off during pre-season training.

Mapi approached you after having spotted you sitting in the booth on your own, the rest of the team having spread out across the dance floor. Instead, you were sitting there in the booth on your phone, texting who Mapi realised after a glance, was the player she wanted to ask you about.

“So, what is the deal with you and Laura Freigang?” Mapi asked, leaning forwards slightly so you could hear her better over the music, raising an eyebrow as you leaned in with a smirk.

“What do you think the deal is?”

“Only friends, I hope.” Mapi’s confidence wavered for a moment, but you smiled instead, remembering Laura’s teasing about you and a Spanish girl, even if it wasn’t meant to last.

“Then, you hoped correctly, contrary to what a lot of people think, Laura is my best friend.” You replied, assuring the Spaniard as she smiled, the confidence in her eyes amusing you as it reappeared.

“That is very nice to know.”

“Is it now?” raising an eyebrow, your head tilted to the side slightly as you questioned Mapi, but she smirked, leaning back slightly but her arm rested on the table.

“It really is.” Mapi hummed appreciatively, giving you a nowhere near subtle once over as you laughed slightly.

“You are not a fan of subtlety, I take it?”

“Now when I like what I see.” Mapi flirted, leaning in slightly again so you could hear her more clearly, thinking she was making you flustered.

“Well, I like what I see too.” Looking the Spaniard up and down, you ignored the feeling of eyes burning into the side of your head, no doubt that whoever it was, was watching you and Mapi interact.

“That is good, do you want another drink?” Mapi enquired, raising an eyebrow as you bit your lip for a moment. The Spaniard was clearly unaware that the two of you were being watched.

“Do you know if they do passionfruit martinis?” you asked, chewing your lip as Mapi nodded to herself.

“Let me find out for you.” She affirmed, getting up to head to the bar. Your gaze followed Mapi walking away as you called out “gracias!” the energy shifting as you met the gaze of who had been watching you and Mapi. A frowning Ana, who was supposed to be dancing with Jenni.

Jenni hadn’t realised the power behind her words as she pointed out that you must have been Mapi’s next target, admitting that you and Mapi seemed to be getting cosy as you didn’t back down or fluster at Mapi’s flirting. Jenni’s laughter stopped however when Ana failed to even smile, instead, a sour look overtook her face.

“You look like you sucked a lime, but we have not done body shots!” Jenni pointed out, watching as you got up from the booth to meet Mapi at the bar, who was having a rather long conversation with the bartender.

“Maybe we should do some then.” Ana didn’t think about what she was saying until it was late, just wanting you and Mapi off of her mind, but Jenni was already heading towards the bar.

“Hey, I think it’s also called a pornstar martini, but if they don’t do them-” 

It took that name, plus the bartender googling the recipe for some reason, for the drink you asked for to be given to you.

“I was going to say, if they don’t do this, see if they can make an old fashioned.” you explained, raising an eyebrow as Mapi’s hand rested on your lower back, protecting you from whoever was barging past.

“Gracias… do you want to try it?” you asked, holding one of the paper straws out to Mapi, who nodded and tried the drink, her face burning slightly as you chuckled at the look on her face.

“Too sweet? No worries, I’m sure you are sweet enough without it.” You smirked, ignoring the look on Mapi’s face by drinking your martini, not hearing Mapi order an old fashioned next.

Jenni grinned as she ended up sliding in on the other side of you, ordering the tequila shots and lime wedges then stealing a couple of salt shakers.

“You two, body shots?” Jenni asked, gesturing to the salt shaker as the bartender passed Mapi the old fashioned, starting to pour the tequila into shot glasses.

Your nose crinkled up as you shook your head, “sorry, my ex ruined tequila for me,” having finished the passionfruit martini, Mapi passed the glass of old fashioned next, staring as you extracted the cherry and popped it into your mouth. Maintaining eye contact with the defender, Jenni smirked, a mischievous glint in her eye that Ana could recognise from across the club.

Jenni watched as you offered Mapi a sip of the old fashioned, how you had to remind her this drink had no straw, so she needed to hold the glass herself, seeing how Mapi fumbled slightly as your fingers touched hers.

“Better than the passion fruit martini?” you teased, noticing how Mapi hadn’t grimaced at this drink, but the contrast in your tastes intrigued her even more.

“How did your ex ruin tequila for you?” Jenni’s question interrupted the intense eye-contact that you and Mapi were sharing, raising an eyebrow as you went to eat the orange slice in the drink.

“We drank it a lot.”

“And now it reminds you of her?” Jenni tilted her head to the side, not seeing the tray of tequila shots and the lime wedges being passed to her until you gently nudged it so it wouldn’t fall on the floor.

“Safe to say that I do not want that.” Shrugging it off, you sipped your old fashioned, raising an eyebrow at the look on Mapi’s face.

“But tequila is fine when you are not the one drinking it?” Jenni asked, going to pass Mapi one of the tequila shots, a lime wedge, and the salt shaker.

“As long as I can’t taste it on your lips, but the lime and salt overpowers it.” You replied casually, not seeing the grin on Jenni’s face, or how Mapi was becoming the flustered one.

Jenni nodded, grinning as she picked up the tray, and another salt shaker, heading over to where the rest of the team were congregating.

“So… I’ll take that… but you have to figure out what you’re doing with the salt.” You smirked, taking the lime wedge to slip into your mouth, whilst Mapi picked up the salt shaker, glancing from it, to you.

Ana directed her gaze away, turning on her heel to head towards one of the doors, the bathroom or outside, it didn’t matter, she couldn’t watch Mapi do a body shot off of you any longer, the cacophony of thoughts in her head overwhelming and confusing her. 

The only thing she could figure out from watching you and Mapi flirt was that you were not the shy human she’d met five years ago, but a much more confident chaotic being, who had no problem flirting, even if it had to be with her ex, of all people. 

She had tried brushing it off as protectiveness as her ex pursued you, but she herself wanted to know more about you and who you had become after she left FFC Frankfurt. Maybe she hoped that you would come to check on her, but that was selfish, your puppy love crush had clearly evaporated, even as she heard the door open, revealing a concerned Jenni instead.

You may have loved her five years ago, but you were not the same person you were then, that you were now, and you shamelessly flirting with Mapi proved it.

#woso x reader #woso imagines #woso imagine #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni imagines #ana maria crnogorcevic x reader #ana maria crnogorcevic imagine #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine

[canonicallyobserving911]

9-1-1 Season 6 - Constructive Criticisms #13

Evan “Buck” Buckley

DISCLAIMER: THERE ARE THREE SEPARATE POSTS ABOUT BUCK, EDDIE, CHRIS AND BUDDIE.  The reason for this is because there was a lot of information to cover and the attempt to combine it into a single post, like those completed for the other main characters and ‘ships’, wasn’t feasible since one post for them and their family would’ve been too long.  Therefore, their posts are numbered as follows: Evan “Buck” Buckley - #13, Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz and Christopher “Chris” Diaz - #14 and “Buddie” - #15.  Each of these posts are identically tagged because they include information that’s related to all of them.

This is a LONG POST.

__________________

Evan “Buck” Buckley is a main character and he’s been part of the main cast since 9-1-1 began in 2018.  His legal name is Evan but he started asking people to call him Buck after he graduated from the LAFD Academy.  He said he changed it because there were other candidates named "Evan" in his class.

He started out as a reckless 25-year-old who stole firetrucks to have sex in them and so he could have sexcapades on rooftops but overtime, he learned how to be ‘somewhat’ better.  The word somewhat is being used to describe his character because for every one step his character is allowed to take forward, the show drags him back 500.  He had a difficult childhood because his parents were emotionally absent (they still are), his sister Maddie raised him and she was the mother figure Margaret wouldn’t be (she could have but she chose not to). 

In season 6, he had more than quadruple the amount of storylines (discussed here) than the other main characters and they were the most detailed of all those included.  Even though he had more than everyone else, the truth is most of them weren’t GOOD because they didn’t follow the previously established narrative and they were frustratingly off which made him appear to be out of character for 95% of the season.  It seemed like the show purposefully regressed him and for whatever reason they kept doing it until he was back to being Buck 1.0.  The only difference in Buck 1.0 from 1A and the one from season 5 and 6B is he stopped sleeping with random women and started having sex with the same random woman over and over again (Taylor in season 5 and a replica of her at the end of 6x18, Natalia).

By the end of season 6, he entered another doomed relationship with someone who’s only interested in one thing, “his death” and it appears he’ll be entombed in his loft again if that raggedy relationship is allowed to continue.  There were a lot of unanswered questions regarding his character after the finale and none of the things that happened prior to 6x18 made any sense at all because he still didn’t make a decision for himself.

My thirteenth set of “constructive criticisms” regarding the character Evan “Buck” Buckley in season 6 are included below the cut.  Please note criticizing a TV show is NOT a bad thing especially since TV critics have been doing it for decades.  Constructive criticisms are designed to help make something better and they are VERY different from negativity.  A person can offer criticisms about a form of entertainment they spend their time watching and not be negative about it the same way two people can agree to disagree on a topic.  Just because one person liked the season, they shouldn’t expect others to feel the way they do because everyone has their own opinions.  Simply put, two people can have different opinions about 9-1-1 and those opinions can COEXIST since they are not mutually exclusive.

If reading criticisms about the TV show 9-1-1 upsets you, then don’t read below the cut.

             Warning! ⚠️“Constructive Criticisms” Ahead!⚠️  

Disclaimer:  This post is NOT about the actor OS who plays the character of Buck.  OS is an excellent actor who has a lot of range and experience and he plays the character effortlessly.  The issues with Buck and all the flaws included in season 6 as well as other seasons, are not reflective of OS as a person, so please don’t confuse the information included in this post with the actor.  These criticisms ARE NOT about the actor, they’re about the character (not a real person) and the way the show portrays him.

Evan “Buck” Buckley

Buck is no longer the reckless firefighter he was at the beginning of season 1 because after Bobby fired then rehired him in 1x1, he began a journey of self-discovery.  Bobby is his captain and mentor because for the entirety of the first season, Buck was his mentee and they went on calls together since Buck didn’t have a partner.  Bobby taught him how to respect his elders and he also learned how to be part of a family during that season.  At the time viewers didn’t know much about Buck’s background, his childhood or how he traveled the Americas in search of a family but when it was finally revealed in 4x5, everything about his previous behaviors made sense.

Due to his recklessness and HIMBO tendencies, initially, he was an unlikeable character but as he started to grow and mature, his likeability changed.  For several seasons, Buck was shown to be moving forward but that all changed after season 4 ended.  In season 5, his storylines took a nosedive and he began to run in circles because he was stagnate and he started making poor decisions.  It was kind of like all the growth he experienced from his self-sought therapy had been thrown out of the window.  He dated THE WORST CHARACTER to ever appear on the show for the entirety of the season and he became a cheater in 5x11.  It was a forced narrative since Buck waited around for a woman who CLEARLY ABANDONED him at the end of season 1 and he didn’t like being catfished by a man who used his profile to meet women.

Then in season 6 he was given more storylines than any other main character and there were more recurring characters included in them than for the other main characters' storylines/arcs (there was a total of 7 people included in Buck's storylines during season 6, i.e., Margaret, Phillip, Connor, Kameron, Lucy, Taylor and Natalia). Almost every episode (except for 6x3 and 6x6) focused on Buck and his journey to do something but whatever he was attempting to accomplish was never made clear and he ended the season right back in a redux version of his life that mimicked the way he ended season 4. 

Buck’s past

Buck has a lot of things in his past he hasn’t dealt with and for some reason the show won’t allow him to.  He has all sorts of issues that stem from his birth and the way his parents treated him and they’ve continued to perpetuate throughout his life.  He still struggles with his identity, decision making and he continues to make mistakes.

Identity

Buck’s always struggled with who he is and he constantly tries to differentiate between Evan and Buck but he still hasn’t realized they’re the same person, i.e., him.  He wouldn’t be Buck if he wasn’t Evan first but the issue is he left home to find happiness and instead of dealing with his past, he ran away the same way his sister did and she was the one who taught him how to run.  Maddie didn’t stop running until season 5 but even though Buck physically stopped running when he moved to L.A., he’s still mentally running from a life he doesn’t want to remember, hence all the running he did in his coma dream. 

He wants everyone to SEE him as “Buck the firefighter” but the people who know him, Maddie, Eddie, Bobby, Hen and Chimney, all fully understand Buck and Evan are the same person.  They also know Evan’s insecure and afraid while Buck puts on his firefighter persona to make people believe he’s a fearless man who will walk into a dangerous situation without giving a second thought to his own safety.  It’s an ACT and Eddie called him on it in 4x14 when he said, “You act like you’re expendable… but you’re wrong”.

Buck thinks his uniform is the thing that makes him matter but he’s wrong because the people who TRULY care about him, aren’t concerned with his uniform, they’re concerned with him as a person.  Buck said it himself twice in CANON.  The first time was in 2x18 when he told Maddie being a firefighter was his life and it was the only thing that he’s done that matters and without it, he trailed off.  The second time was in 3x6 after Bobby met him at the hospital and he said when he puts on the uniform, he feels important and like he matters.  But the issue is, he hasn’t realized that EVERY TIME HE’S SAVED SOMEONE (Maddie, Chris and Eddie) he wasn’t wearing his uniform.  Also, Buck has to learn the difference between rescuing and saving someone (related post linked here).  He rescues people for his job but he saves the people he loves and he’s only saved three people (his family, i.e., his sister, his future husband and his future son).

In addition to the struggles that he’s currently experiencing with his legal (Evan) and pseudonym (Buck) names, he’s struggling to figure out who he is within the Buckley family too.  The name plate on his equipment locker has the ‘ley’ covered with a red X because it’s possible Buck will either change his last name or he’s going to figure out he’s not biologically related to Phillip in the near future.

Future captain of the 118

Since Buck’s always been shown to be Bobby’s mentee, the foreshadowing that’s been done over the last six years illustrates how he will become the next captain of the 118 but after he mentioned his desire to become interim captain in 6x1, he hasn’t mentioned anything about it since.  It seemed like the show was trying to divert attention away from him becoming captain someday (not today but some day) for the remainder of the season when they focused more on Chimney and Hen.  They’re certainly both qualified but based on Hen’s comments of "Don't call me that" whenever one of them tried to call her "Cap" in 6x2, it’s possible she may not want it and Chimney said he didn’t want it twice; once in 6x1 and again in 6x14.  Even though they’re qualified, Buck’s shown an interest in it and even though he’s not ready now, he could be one day but Bobby should work with him.

At the end of the season, after the bridge collapse, Buck was in the leadership role since he was alert and cognizant while everyone else wasn’t.  But 6x18 was rushed and none of it made any narrative sense so WTF is the show doing?  It’s like they’re trying to throw the audience off track but they’re failing miserably.  Did Buck finally get the life experience Bobby said he needed in 6x1 or not?  Who knows because once again he was regressed and he passively fell into another relationship that wasn’t good for him.

Decisions

It’s possible Buck’s upbringing still affects the way he makes decisions but the truth is he’s rarely made them.  He’s very PASSIVE with the way he ends up in relationships and situations and it almost seems like he allows life to just happen to him.  Other than becoming a firefighter, hiring Dr. Copeland and breaking up with Taylor (he did end it but he didn’t do it for the right reasons), Buck has barely made any decisions for himself.  It started when he left Hershey because Maddie told him to go and be happy and then he left Peru because Connor said he should move to L.A. with them because they were “kind of like a family”.

Buck’s previous relationships

All the women Buck’s ever dated used him until they got what they wanted.  Let’s be clear, these weren’t romantic love stories that foreshadowed Buck’s endgame so don’t get confused by it simply because they were having sex.  He dated Abby in season 1 because she called him after she illegally obtained his phone number and she coerced him into dating her only for her to abandon him in 1x10.  Dr. Wells abused her authority in 1x2 as the departmental therapist and she had sex with him instead of helping him deal with losing Devon.  Ali called him several weeks after the earthquake in 2x8 but she broke up with him in 2x18 when he wouldn’t agree to stop being a firefighter.  Taylor bought him a drink in 2x8, they had sex in the restroom of that bar and when she reappeared in season 4, they were friends (NOT REALLY but that’s what he called it) but every time he pursued her, she friend zoned him.  Then after Eddie got shot, she kissed him and said she wanted to be with him.  She was the worst of all his exes because she constantly belittled and demeaned him and her actions were reminiscent of his mother Margaret.  At the end of 6x18, he ended up in another passively intertwined mess of a relationship because he couldn’t stand the fact that Natalia left after he told her he was Connor’s sperm donor so he did what he always does and tried to fix it to make her like him. 

Others who’ve manipulated Buck

Buck’s passivity with regards to situations don’t stop with the people he’s dated.  In 3x4, Chase MacKey manipulated him into filing a lawsuit when he told him he did research on him and he knew why Buck was off the job.   Connor manipulated him too in 6x4 (exactly three years later) so Buck would agree to be his sperm donor and even though Buck agreed, he wasn’t doing it for the right reasons (see Sperm Donor section below).  It would have been better if Buck had actually PROGRESSED and learned something from all the attention that he received in season 6 instead of him REGRESSING.  By the end of 6x18, it seemed like all the progress he made was null and void since he repeated his previous mistakes.

Mistakes

Buck’s still making the same mistakes he’s made every year even though at the end of season 5, he said he didn’t want to keep making them.  He’ll experience a situation that he should learn from and it seems like he understands but once it’s over, he regresses again.  There have been at least four old men who’ve given him advice over the years but he’s continuing to misunderstand the assignment.  Five years ago, Thomas told him “You don’t find it son… you make it” but at the end of season 6 he was still trying to find it with some random woman who’s only interested in the fact that he died.  Red told him he could be the hero firefighter but he shouldn’t neglect having a life of his own and it’s been more than three years since he told Buck that but Buck still doesn’t get it.  Lev described in 6x2 how he lived his life the way everyone thought he should only for it to end up being a blur and when he finally figured out what it took for him to be happy, he died and Buck thought he didn’t share it with him but he did.

Bobby’s not dead in CANON but he was in Buck’s coma dream and he told him “Aww kid, if what matters to you most is how other people see you… then you haven’t learned a DAMN thing” and true to form, Buck woke up from his coma and he still hadn’t learned ANYTHING!  He’s 31 years old now (not 30 like the show had Bobby say in 6x11 because Buck was 29 in season 4 and since math is a universal language, he’s 31 or 29 +2 = 31 not 30) and he shouldn’t still be making the same mistakes.  He’ll never learn anything if the show won’t allow him to.

In addition to the mistakes he keeps making, he’s also the king of AVOIDANCE and he does it, so he won’t have to deal with difficult situations.  He faced his parents once in 4x4 but he hasn’t told them how much they hurt him and in season 6 they were still hiding something from him.  He wants people to SEE the new and improved version of Buck which he hasn’t realized is the same old Buck in new clothes who continues to avoid his death.  Until he accepts the fact that Evan and Buck are the same person and that he died doing the one thing he identifies himself as, he’ll keep making the same decisions that are filled with nothing but mistakes and he won’t grow as a person.

While it may be unintentional, Buck hurts the people who love him and he continuously places those one-dimensional love interests he ends up falling into bed with or the people who don't care about him like Chase MacKey over them.  He did it in 3x4 - 3x5 when he told Chase all of the 118's personal business so he could get his job back. He was so focused on going back to work (to his family) that he didn't realize he hurt them and he said it during his argument with Eddie while they were in the supermarket. (Please note this observation is NOT about who was right or wrong during the lawsuit; it's included to illustrate how Buck hurt his found family.) And by the end of 6x18, he still hadn’t talked with any of his found family about his death and in CANON, he was only shown talking to Hen about the sperm donation.  He completely ignored talking to anyone else about it and it was RUDE the way Connor and Kameron showed up at the firehouse to harass him about it.

He hurt Eddie in 6x15 when he said Natalia sees him which EVERYBODY KNOWS WAS A BUNCH OF BS.  He hurt Maddie when he told her to stop trying to fix him in 6x12 and he hurt Hen in 6x16 when he accused her of hiding Maddie’s engagement ring from Chimney. For the entirety of season 6, Buck spent the majority of his time listening to people who don’t mean him any good, i.e., Connor and Natalia.  He omits talking to his found family in favor of the recurring characters who’ll only be around for a hot minute.  It’s a pattern he’s continued to follow for years but he’s so afraid the people he loves will leave that he keeps them at arm’s length while he clings to the people who treat him poorly.  Sounds familiar doesn't it? It should because that’s how his parents treated him and he’ll remain in that cycle until he goes back to therapy.

Buck still makes everything about himself

In Buck’s coma dream, everything was all about him and rightfully so since it was his dream but the show has shown many times over the past six years that Buck makes things about himself so what was the goal of the dream?  He didn’t make different choices after he woke up so it kind of seemed pointless to spend an entire episode on the things that he should have learned only for him to regress in the end.  Was the purpose of it to show the way things are jumbled in his mind?  If so, then the audience may never know since he ended the season still making the same mistakes.

If 6x11 was supposed to show the audience things in Buck’s mind, they didn’t do a good job of it because it took several rewatches to figure out the background images were all things he’s seen before along with things he wished would have happened.  It wasn’t executed in a way that made sense for everyone in the audience to understand.  Whatever point they were trying to make got lost in translation and the majority of viewers didn’t like it.  Therefore, if his coma dream was an experiment, they SHOULD NEVER DO THAT AGAIN because Buck made EVERYTHING about himself including things that weren't about him, i.e., he didn't save Bobby in season 1.

He literally thought he saved Bobby when that was CANONICALLY INACCURATE since Chimney was the one who saved him.  Also, in his mind he believed he was the reason Eddie was able to keep Chris which is BS!  Did Buck introduce Eddie to Carla, Yes!  BUT HE IS NOT THE REASON WHY EDDIE WAS ABLE TO KEEP CHRIS!  Eddie was a GREAT DAD before he met Buck and Buck said it himself in 2x4 while he was talking to Maddie.  Please be aware, if Helena would have tried to take Chris away from Eddie, EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THAT EDDIE WOULD HAVE QUIT BEING A FIREFIGHTER (more on this in Eddie’s post).  (I’m still pissed about this reference because it was a LIE!)

Buck only mentioned his dream three times, (to Bobby in 6x11, to Maddie in 6x12 and to Natalia in 6x15) but he was never shown explaining the full dream to any of them.  Therefore it made the rest of the season even more confusing because hardly anything made sense for the remaining seven episodes.  The interactions with his parents remained WEIRDLY OFF and he didn’t talk to them again after they left in  6x11.  With everything that happened, DID BUCK EVER WAKE UP FROM HIS COMA DREAM AT THE END OF 6X11 OR WAS HE STILL SLEEPING FROM 6X11 – 6X18?  It’s a valid question since everything that happened during and after 6x11 didn’t make any sense at all.

He ended the season still not knowing anything.  Bobby told him during his coma dream “Aww kid, if you’re still worried about the way people see you then you haven’t learned a damn thing” and it appears Buck’s still living in a world where he CARES ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE SEE HIM, hence the foolery that was 6x18.  He’s still worried about it and that’s why he’s still making the same mistakes. 

Therapy

WHEN IS BUCK GOING BACK TO THERAPY?  The show spent WAY TOO MUCH time focusing on Buck trying to figure things out by himself when he already knows he CAN’T.  His 4x5 “Buck Begins” episode did a great job of illustrating why he is the way that he is but after that season ended, his character development was FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT REGRESSION.  Instead of the show allowing him to keep growing the way he had been at the beginning of season 4, they kept him stuck in a relationship for all of season 5, he wasn’t happy and he only broke up with her due to something he already knew, her piss poor journalistic ethics.  He had a therapist before 4x5, he was shown having a session with Dr. Copeland in 4x2 and in 4x3 he told Maddie the reason he went was because he wanted to be “finer”.  Well, he’s not fine and all he’s doing is treading water.  This was the most frustrating part about his character in season 6 because he’s not being allowed to grow.

Throughout the season, he tried all sorts of things to answer the questions he had but it ended without him finding any solutions.

Did he decide if he wants to become a captain? NO!

Did he find happiness?  NO!

Did him saying Yes to the possibilities work? NO!

Did he figure out what he wants? NO!

Did he deal with his death?  NO!

Did he keep making mistakes?  YES!

While it’s true that healing is not linear, it’s also true healing doesn’t go in different directions, i.e., north, south, east and west, all at the same time either.  Therefore, Buck should have exhibited some growth instead of him constantly being regressed back to square one like he has been for the past two seasons (related post here).  Since the answers to most of the questions above is no, then there’s clearly a problem with Buck’s development.

Buck’s HIMBO tendencies

The tired trope of Buck being a HIMBO that every woman no matter her age, race, ethnicity or background wants to date has gotten extremely OLD and TIRED, therefore it needs to END!  Contrary to popular belief, every woman doesn’t want him because some women prefer Eddie, Bobby, Chimney or Ravi. (I like Eddie!) Buck is so much more than a man who falls into another lackluster relationship of convenience to make himself feel better but that’s how they keep portraying him.  In season 6, he WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES but obviously someone forgot he said those words in CANON at the end of season 5.

He’s smart and he does research to figure things out so the whole sperm donor debacle was a mess especially since THERE’S NO WAY BUCK WOULDN’T HAVE RESEARCHED THE HELL OUT OF IVF TREATMENTS AND SPERM DONATIONS.  He would have known him not ejaculating for four weeks was a MISTAKE and he also would have learned about all the SPERM DONOR MIX-UPS that have happened.  But once again, he was made to look like a HIMBO who doesn’t make good decisions.

Buck and his parents???

After everything Margaret and Phillip did to him while he was growing up, he still wishes they would treat him the way he’s always wanted them to instead of him doing the easiest thing and simply cut them off.  They’re toxic and they continued to do what they’ve always done when they bought him a couch.  He got hurt and they rewarded him for it.  They emotionally abandoned him and Maddie when they were kids and their actions in 6x10 were WEIRD because they’re still hiding something.   They treated him like he was of no consequence his whole life and they weren’t in the room with the 118 after he woke up so WTF was that?  Does Buck still not understand his found family is the family he should be clinging to?  Also, what other secret is Margaret and Phillip hiding?  The framing of the shot in 6x10 proves they know something about Buck’s conception that Maddie and Buck don’t know.  Since they didn’t return in season 6, maybe the secret will be revealed in season 7.

Buck’s death

When the season ended, Buck still hadn’t dealt with the fact that he died.  His found family was worried sick about him but he wouldn’t talk to them about it.  So, the question is, is he over his death?   The answer is NO!  Will he be allowed to deal with it?  Who knows.

Themes

FAMILY AND FATHERHOOD (discussed more in BUDDIE #15)

The overall themes for season 6 were family and fatherhood and both of them revolved around Buck’s found father/son relationship with Bobby and his own father/son relationship with Chris.  Eddie is Chris’ father and Buck has been shown to be Chris second parent for years (more on this in the Buddie post).

If Bobby and Buck’s father/son relationship isn’t important, why did May acknowledge and validate the fact that Bobby is Buck’s found dad in 6x11 when she told Bobby he brought one child into his marriage with Athena?  Even though it was finally CANONIZED that Bobby is like a father to him, they spent the remainder of the season not talking to each other.  They only had one conversation after 6x11 and it happened in 6x14.  It was a professional conversation about Buck’s job performance, so what was the purpose of May saying that if the show planned to ignore their relationship for the rest of the season?

Also, the whole biological vs. found vs. own family dynamic was in play too.  In Buck’s mind, his biological family is what he wants because his parents finally treated him like he’s always wanted to be treated but he negated his found family in the process even though THEY’RE THE ONES WHO’VE BEEN THERE FOR HIM FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS.  Buck’s literally trying to hold onto his bio family instead of clinging to his found family and it’s ridiculous.

Buck also wants to be a dad.  He’s never said it in CANON but his actions and comments regarding kids proves he does.  In 2x2, after Eddie showed him a picture of Chris, he told him that he loves kids and he spent the rest of the day telling Eddie that Chris was safe at school.  Then he took the initiative to help Eddie find childcare in 2x4 when Eddie didn’t ask him to.  Also, to further prove this FACT, in 3x18, he was adamant about helping Sam (Abby’s fiancé)  get back to his two daughters and he argued with Bobby and Eddie about it while they were inside of the train car.  He didn’t save Sam just because he promised Abby he would, he became determined to save him after Sam explained he had two kids at home.  Reminder, Buck knew who Sam was but Sam didn’t know who Buck was until after they got off the train.  He saw a father in need and he wanted to help him get back to his kids.

In 6x8, Buck told Maddie and Chimney that he was living the dream when he was preparing to babysit Jee-Yun which answered the question of whether he wants to a dad or an uncle.  Even though he never explicitly stated which one he wants to be, it’s clear he wants to be a dad otherwise the scene with him and Chris baking cookies in 6x13 wouldn’t have been included.  Reminder, Eddie wasn’t at the loft with them and his and Buck’s conversation wasn’t shown.  Therefore, viewers were left still trying to determine if Buck wants to be a dad when the show did a 180 degree turn at the end of the season.  The callbacks, foreshadowing and hindsight to previous episodes illustrated Buck wants to be a dad even though he didn’t verbally say it.

It appears, Buck gave away his sperm because he thought he’d never be able to have a child of his own but the truth is he already has a child, his name is Christopher Diaz and he’s been co-parenting him with Eddie for years.  When Buck told Connor and Kameron in 6x4, he didn’t know what he wanted, that was a LIE because he did know and still does but he wasn’t allowed to say it.

Sperm donation

By the end of the season, the sperm donor debacle left the audience with a lot more questions than answers.

Why wasn’t Buck allowed to talk to anyone other than Hen about it in 6x4?  He told her that he didn’t want to turn down Connor and Kameron but he NEVER explained why. 

Why didn’t Maddie and Buck have a CANON conversation about it especially since she knew the reason why Buck didn’t have a couch?  She literally told their parents it was a whole story but every time the sperm donation was mentioned in 6x10, she left the room. Does she even know about it?

Why was Eddie frustrated after Buck made his announcement in 6x9 about being the official creator of new life?

Why was Eddie shown backtracking his disdain for the sperm donation in 6x10?  Was it done to make it seem like he was supportive of Buck’s decision?  He clearly wasn’t in 6x9 since he was on the verge of having a panic attack when he dropped off the call.

Did the sperm donor storyline change after 6x9?  It must have because Buck bought an LAFD onesie for the baby (Reminder Buck identifies himself as a firefighter so the fact that it had an LAFD logo on it meant something to him).

What happened to the onesie?  And if he UNDERSTANDS he’s the donor not the dad, why didn’t he give it to Kameron while she was staying with him from 6x17-6x18?

Make no mistake, before the hiatus Buck was under the illusion the baby was going to be his since they used his sperm, hence the reason he bought the LAFD onesie. If that wasn't the case, he could have bought a regular onesie instead.

By the end of the season, the ultimate question was, is Connor and Kameron’s baby biologically related to Buck?  If the NARRATIVE is followed, the answer to that question is NO!

I’ve already completed several blog posts and fanfics about this topic but I don’t believe Connor and Kameron’s baby is biologically related to Buck for several reasons.  I’ve already posted my disdain about this storyline and the details of why I don’t like it (linked here).  Also, the post I completed about the possibility of Buck not being biologically related to Phillip Buckley is linked here).

Everything that happened after 6x6 proved it’s not Buck’s baby but the question is, will the show follow through with the narrative or will it change once again?

First, in 6x7, Buck stop masturbating for four weeks before he went to donate.  That’s an issue because medical research states men who don’t masturbate for an extended period of time have a lot of dead sperm.

Buck was scheduled to donate in an episode titled “Cursed” but every time he went to donate, there was a problem.  Even on the last day when he finally did donate his sperm, the lady at the front desk didn’t check him in.  Also, he touched the cursed bracelet and so did Eddie.

In 6x10, Bobby told Buck the secret ingredient for the chili was “Cocoa Powder” (foreshadowing that the baby is Connor’s not Buck’s).

Buck said his parents thought his decision was idiotic but they didn’t want Sang Han to have the last word.  The truth is Margaret and Phillip’s reactions to his announcement happened BEFORE Sang objected to it but in Buck’s mind, he wanted his parents' approval so badly that he missed it just like he missed everything else.

In his coma dream in 6x11, Buck was searching for something but he KEPT LOOKING PAST CHRISTOPHER. He thought Eddie lost Chris because he wasn’t a firefighter but that was ridiculous (see above). Chris was actually looking for Buck when he asked him to help him find his dad.

In 6x12, it’s possible Dr. Salazar’s reference to Italy might be connected to Buck’s sperm donation because there was a “sperm donor mix up” that happened in Italy but the couple didn’t find out until the baby was born.  It was a Caucasian couple but they found out the sperm of the donor they chose got mixed up with an African American man’s sperm donation.

In 6x13, Buck was LITERALLY BAKING COOKIES with Chris while Eddie wasn’t there, like WTF?  If that wasn’t LOUD enough for those who didn’t understand before that Buck’s already a dad then, what else is going on here?

When Kameron gave birth, the baby WAS TOO BIG TO BE A PREEMIE which means she was a lot farther along than she thought.  She had a full-term baby which means she was already pregnant with Connor’s baby when the IVF treatment took place. Instances like these have happened in real life.

The end of 6x18

If Buck would have ended the season single, it would have shown he actually grew instead of him regressing.  The way his introduction to Natalia happened in 6x15 for him to end up having sex with her made the whole situation seem like something he did in season 1. She was supposed to be there to help him with his OWN DEATH the same way Dr. Wells in 1x2 was supposed to help Buck deal with DEVON’S DEATH but the same way Buck ended up having sex with Dr. Wells to avoid talking about the way he felt is the same way he ended season 6.  He had sex with Natalia to avoid talking about his own death therefore, he’ll end up spinning the bowl once again.

They won’t be long term because she said it herself in 6x15.  She told him “Well, if your job is to help prevent death, my job is to help people accept it.”  She literally helps people accept death while he’s tries to help people prevent it.  So, Buck’s clinging to yet another person and that relationship will meet the same fate as all the others because he’s trying to make something work instead of dealing with the fact that he died.  Not only is he clinging to that mess; he’s also clinging to the “IDEA” of a relationship.  Be clear, all she saw was a firefighter who could give her what she wanted for a time the same way Taylor, Ali and Abby did.  She doesn’t know EVAN and when she finally meets the insecure man who can’t take it when people leave, she’ll run for the exit too.  Buck will never learn who and what he wants if they won’t stop throwing people at him.

Natalia told Buck “I like you” and he said, “I like you too” and all their comments did was VALIDATE Taylor’s comment to him in 4x8.  Taylor told Buck, “You can’t stand it when someone doesn’t like you” and she was right.  Buck was frustrated with the fact that Natalia left and instead of just letting her stay gone, when she showed up at his loft, while he was helping Kameron give birth, he misunderstood why she was there.  He didn’t like the fact that she left but when she came back, he thought it was a good thing, IT WASN’T.  If the show really wanted him to GROW AND MATURE, he would have told her to keep it moving because he wasn’t going to make the same mistakes but once again, he did exactly that.

Finally, what was the purpose of “highlighting” him being bad in bed with women in 6x13, only for him to fall back into bed with Natalia at the end of the season?  Buck not being able to satisfy women was an unnecessary addition to the season if it didn’t mean anything.  The show contradicted itself on that front and who knows if they’ll spend an entire season trying to fix it.

By the end of season 6, there was NO CLOSURE for Buck and if the show really wanted to convince the audience into believing it was supposed to be the series finale, THEY FAILED AT IT because it was RUSHED and none of the things that happened with Buck’s character made any sense.  He ended the season the same way he started it DAZED, LOST AND CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT AND WHO HE WANTS out of life and until they let him go back to therapy, he’ll remain like that, regressed and ridiculously oblivious.

Will he spend another season entombed in his loft with another one-dimensional girlfriend?  If so, then the show should expect to lose even more viewers because a lot of the audience was and still is TIRED of the way Buck’s not being allowed to grow and mature.  Hopefully, he’ll return to therapy with Dr. Copeland so he can continue to work through his issues. Otherwise, it’ll be wash, rinse and repeat on the Evan “Buck” Buckley home front and that will not be exciting to watch.

These are my criticisms regarding the character of Evan “Buck” Buckley for season 6.

I have a total of 15 CANON “Constructive Criticisms” and as of Wednesday, August 30, 2023, they’ve all been posted.  The topics were posted in a specific order that begins with the overall issues for season 6 so they can be referenced within the posts about individual characters and ships that followed them.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 #911 on abc #911 abc #911 meta #911 season 6 speculation #9-1-1 Season 6 - CANON Constructive Criticisms #Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks #911 s6 #911 season 6

[kqirvaa]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Day 19💙

What are your top 3 fave/dream cast constellations for smosh vids? (so typically 4-6 people each)

Bonus: What are your top 3 smosh ships?

1. Spencer, Tommy, Shayne, Courtney:

Absolutely stacked cast, even better if someone like kimmy, ian or Damien were added on. I just love everyone’s chemistry together.

2. Angela, Amanda, Keith, Shayne, Spencer:

Imagine these five playing a rage inducing competitive game together, absolute art. Also like before I feel like if Arasha, Damien or even Trevor were added on it would be beautiful.

3. OgSog (+Boze?) interacting with members who began appearing on camera 2018 and later

After the recent podcast about their ideas for what a Smosh Winter Games: 2024 would be like especially, I would love to see the dynamics formed between them. Imagine Joven and Angela going insane raging at each other, Lasercorn freaking everyone out or even Chanse learning that they even existed.

Also as a Spirly I would be super interested to see how Spencer’s dynamic would be with them because not only has he known them since 2014 and just never really interacting with them on camera (even then, that Spencer is fairly different, mostly in confidence, then present day Spence). But also that he’s currently in charge of Smosh Games and I’d like to see what they think abt that 💀💀💀

Bonus - ships

1. Spommy 🤭🤭

2. Spourtney

3. Ianthony

#smosh #spencer agnew #ask game #shayne topp #angela giarratana #amanda lehan canto #anthony padilla #ian hecox #smoshblr december asks #courtney miller #tommy bowe #keith leak jr #ianthony #spommy #spourtney #OgSoG

[d1vined3vil]

Okay so abt to go on a little bit of a tangent- feel free to ignore :)

So please tell me I'm not the only one who's lowkey on the verge of quitting Royale High and making my own game because of everything? Like I'm honestly getting sick of the Game Devs not having their shit together and actually admitting their mistakes.

For those who haven't heard: NightBarbie has just released a post on the main Royale High twitter talking about a new school. This came as a HUGE shock because not even Campus three is complete, yet their discussing (and possibly have already) started building things for the new school based on some of the things mentioned in the post (such as how development has been going fast and their hoping to have it out this summer). The reason for this is because apparently NightBarbie had realized that the new school took away from the RP experience because of the new features (such as switching servers entirely when entering a new part of the school).

Whilst I think it's AWESOME that the Devs are finally admitting their mistakes (because I can't stress how much the server hopping thing and the lack of time passing bothered me), Deciding to make a new school when you haven't even finished the old one is a horrible Idea in my opinion. i feel that, now that they have a new project that their working on, they won't be focusing much time on the Campus 3, and while they said that they'll still be implementing everything into the campus, I feel that the things will likely be more rushed so that they can meet deadlines. And who's to say that the fourth campus will be worth the wait anymore? I mean- it took four years for Campus 3 to arrive, so whats saying that it won't take the same amount of time (or even longer) for Campus 4?

I just feel that they don't really care about the game anymore, and are simply doing this to try and boost activity. The game has slowly gotten less fun over the years, especially with the lack of updates, overly expensive prices, and lack of RP's that began happening during Campus 3's development. Not to mention that really no new is joining because it's impossible to farm without spending money on the game passes. I would know: I had joined in 2018 but recently lost my entire account after being locked out of my old account (long story for another time). I had been able to (luckily) get one of the multiplying game passes on my new one, but even then it's still incredibly hard to farm in time, and I rarely want to play the game anymore because of it.

Royal High was originally a game where people of all different backgrounds could get together and RolePlay, or farm for different items to customize their character. It was a place to meet new people, and play pretend in a more advanced way, whether you were new and had nothing, or a veteran with everything. Now it feels like thats gone. (In my experience) There's barely been any RP activity, and the items are so expensive that it drives new players away, and makes it to where only the veteran players can thrive (Which becomes an issue when like me, they lose interest in the game, or get older and busier, meaning they can't play as often). Not to mention the new player's that DO decide to stick around tend to be made fun of by veterans, who are typically the same people complaining about the aforementioned things.

I'm just sick and tired of the Devs making empty promises and not having their act together. The newer versions of the game had so much potential yet the Devs (and the community) ruined it. At this rate, I'm ready to simply learn how to make games similar and make my own version for people to play, because this is getting insane.

Anyways- that was my rant for the day, feel free to ignore or interact as you please, and I'll post if I have any updates on anything. In the meantime, I hope those who read this have an amazing Day/Night, and remember to take care of themselves.

#royale high #roblox #roblox games #video games #video gaming #videogame #rants

[s-division]

⸻ MEMBER PROFILES ; meet the members of S-DIVISION

⸻ BASICS !

FULL NAME: Kim Hyunwoo STAGE NAME: Max BIRTHDATE: august 30, 1995 ZODIAC: virgo, pig BIRTHPLACE: busan, south korea

⸻ CAREER !

COMPANY: infinite stage entertainment YEARS TRAINED: 2010 - 2018 YEARS ACTIVE: 2018 - present GROUP: S-DIVISION POSITION: leader, sub vocalist, bass

⸻ HISTORY !

from a very early age hyunwoo always dreamed of becoming a famous musician. his father taught him to play guitar, and later hyunwoo discovered bass guitar through the music teacher at his elementary school. later, hyunwoo joined the school choir at the prompting of this same teacher. noticing how popular certain idols were amongst his peers, hyunwoo decided he would audition to become an idol as well to achieve the fame he'd dreamed of. while he was received warmly after his audition, his training period was especially hard on hyunwoo, experiencing harsh treatment and even harsher reprimands. throughout it all hyunwoo remained headstrong and compassionate, promising to always protect his members. he is often credited as the parent of the group, and many fans adore him for his kind and caring nature. hyunwoo still has a streak for mischief, though, not making it through the past years without a few dating scandals.

⸻ BASICS !

FULL NAME: Zhao Jiang STAGE NAME: Jasper BIRTHDATE: february 27, 1997 ZODIAC: pisces, ox BIRTHPLACE: chengdu, china

⸻ CAREER !

COMPANY: infinite stage entertainment YEARS TRAINED: 2012 - 2018 YEARS ACTIVE: 2018 - present GROUP: S-DIVISION POSITION: sub vocalist, keys

⸻ HISTORY !

unlike others in his group, jiang never much cared for becoming an idol or even becoming famous at all. he was scouted during an outing with his friends, and his parents agreed it would be a great opportunity for him. jiang has always known that his struggling parents were mostly interested in the financial benefits it might bring, and he's always tried his best for them because of it. so, jiang moved to korea, struggled to learn korean for months, until meeting dae and hyunwoo, and finding life-long friends in both of them. over the years jiang has remained his stoic self, though at times certain members of his group will entice a softer side out of him.

⸻ BASICS !

FULL NAME: Kae Dae-jung STAGE NAME: Dae BIRTHDATE: november 16, 1999 ZODIAC: scorpio, rabbit BIRTHPLACE: wonju, south korea

⸻ CAREER !

COMPANY: infinite stage entertainment YEARS TRAINED: 2012 - 2018 YEARS ACTIVE: 2018 - present GROUP: S-DIVISION POSITION: visual, drums

⸻ HISTORY !

of all members, dae has the most mysterious history. often described as quiet and keeping to himself by fans, dae never indulges much information about himself or how he became an idol. he began training at the same time jiang did, and the two boys were roommates for their entire trainee period. jiang has joked that dae was much more talkative during this period in their lives. while some might assume he's simply shy, in truth dae is often instructed to keep quiet by hyunwoo to avoid him from saying something mean. dae was raised by a single mother who was quite opinionated herself, and who always encouraged her son to speak his mind. he used to get in trouble with both his peers and teachers, and this did not change too much during his trainee period. surprisingly, dae is still a fan favorite at times, adored for his funny facial expressions and unfiltered comments.

⸻ BASICS !

FULL NAME: Hwang Sangho STAGE NAME: Leo BIRTHDATE: august 18, 2000 ZODIAC: leo, dragon BIRTHPLACE: pohang, south korea

⸻ CAREER !

COMPANY: infinite stage entertainment YEARS TRAINED: 2013 - 2018 YEARS ACTIVE: 2018 - present GROUP: S-DIVISION POSITION: rapper, guitar

⸻ HISTORY !

sangho is not shy to admit that junseo was the only reason he ever auditioned to become an idol in the first place. despite being almost a year older, sangho has always followed junseo to the end of the earth. he was the reason sangho learned how to play guitar, and developed an interest in music in the first place. his interest in rap, however, can be entirely attributed to sangho's older brother, who instilled a love of 80s and 90s hip-hop in sangho. he's always been incredibly vocally grateful of the space he and his group have been given in terms of exploring and developing their artistic abilities, which allowed him to develop his singing and other artistic abilities. many people see sangho as the 'perfect' idol out of all members, as especially in the later comebacks sangho was the one to shine the most during both performances and interviews.

⸻ BASICS !

FULL NAME: Nam Junseo STAGE NAME: Atlas BIRTHDATE: december 19, 2001 ZODIAC: sagittarius, snake BIRTHPLACE: pohang, south korea

⸻ CAREER !

COMPANY: infinite stage entertainment YEARS TRAINED: 2013 - 2018 YEARS ACTIVE: 2018 - present GROUP: S-DIVISION POSITION: main vocalist, sub guitar

⸻ HISTORY !

junseo had always been the happiest child anyone knew. a seemingly permanent bright smile plastered on his face, junseo faced everything in life head-on and with cheerful optimism. his audition to become an idol was no different, and it is this same happy disposition that earned him one of the only trainee positions given out during the season he applied. junseo has a great love for both music and being an idol in general, being perceived by fans as always being welcoming and willing to meet them and take pictures. it is clear that junseo suffered an especially hard period, both during his trainee years and after his debut, but despite this he's always tried to maintain his kind smile. recently, he's opened up about his mental health issues and sought treatment for several problems he developed in his years after debut. 

#*SDIV: profiles #*max #*jasper #*dae #*leo #*atlas #fictional idol community #fictional kpop community

[hisui-cotton]

Hello Hello! Today I’d like to talk about my experience in going to digital art as my primary workflow over the past 5 or 6 years and what I’ve kinda wanted to do for my art in the past and now in the future. Overall I wanted to share my thoughts on the two primary programs I use, how I critique myself and what I’ve learned about art on a personal level.

To preface, as this is a newer format, you expect a level of self-reflection in this that may seem odd! This is both a report to my own brain cave (in lore it's Ithod my "home planet") and a personal exploration of aspects of my life that have taken my interest. This is one of my big steps into finding what I enjoy creating as a VTuber. So please look forward to it as the future has more of this type of blogging but on a variety of topics I find interest in in addition to my Art posts!

Alright let’s start from the…beginning? One of the first times I got a genuine chance to use digital art was in 2013 on a Acer laptop and a tablet I can’t remember the brand of. I didn’t learn too much, I kind of just went for it. It’s hard to explain that I was not really looking at digital art as something I needed to relearn compared to traditional art, not to mention that I was still not improving my art in a….genuine way? I think I was just trying things out to explore how it works. The main problem was that I just didn’t know what I wanted to be using it for at the time. Like yes I wanted to draw but what did I want to be using digital art for that I could use traditional art to do? Overall I didn’t do a whole lot with that tablet other than play around with it but that was a good entry nonetheless.

Sometime after that in 2016/2018-ish I began to draw on my phone and I got a Windows Surface Pro. These were the two steps that really gave me perspective on some of the stuff I can do in digital Art compared to traditional, especially since I had also by that point learned way more about concepts in art and planning my work. This is really where I leaned into taking stuff I learned concept wise and played around with the ability of digital programs like layers, clipping, and being able too revert to old phases of the process without having to totally restart. I played around a lot with making sure I was atleast TRYING to get fullbody work in my compositions as I noticeably struggled with getting body gestures down. Everything felt stiff and I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of that while getting line art in. A lot of that went on to mean that I just did a lot of sketching, studies and generally drew things I felt I had a vague idea for. I typically didn’t go beyond the testing/planning either there because that wasn’t what I was really aiming to do. If I wasn’t thinking of an image beyond it’s initial idea then I had no need to try things beyond that. This wasn’t like a bad time for my art though. In the one year of drawing on a Surface Pro I went from basic fanart doodles to a fairly well developed digital style. I hadn’t even really looked back at the progress of that first year of drawing on the surface pro till now. In the year before I had been drawing fairy consistently on my phone but it was doing basic little portraits and stuff like that. If I had to say I learned one specific thing in the time I used the surface pro (which was for about 3 years) it’s likely that the screen/tablet type you use has a greater effect on how you draw that you may realize.

The ability to draw in my phone was great for at work during lunches or for jotting down sketch ideas which I could use/develop later if I wanted to. I very much loved this convivence because I didn’t want to risk taking my Surface Pro to work or something like that and then it breaking or getting stolen. So the phone usage was very nice especially in our modern era where a good mini-stylus or just the right free app is enough. Specifically I worked in Pixiv Sketch, and still do when I draw on my phone. It’s got a great basic variety of brushes and then a layer function with a decent amount of layer limits.

The Surface Pro’s ability to make the process feel smooth and clean even at various pen pressures was really interesting to realize after switching to an XP-Pen Tablet. It was also really nice to have something to just pull up a full drawing program but also be able to lay in my bed lmao. It may not have done much for my quality but it made me feel like drawing wasn’t something that I had to be up and ready to do if I just wanted to doodle. It also ran really well with decent memory space. This bring me to Paint Tool Sai, the program that I’ve been using for most of my digital art.

I bought Paint Tool Sai back on my Acer laptop. It was $75 at the time which was a lot for me but now looking back…I’ve had like a lifetime art program that can be used at a professional level. I remember recently watching one of the BTS of Genshin Impact and seeing Paint Tool Sai open in on one of their PCs was really refreshing lmao. It was the same hat meme. It was great. But also the fact that it’s made by one guy in Japan, who has been developing the 2.0 for the past few years is crazy because it’s honestly such a great program. I got the 2.0 upgrade for free as well which was even nicer in regards to the fact I only paid for it once also 10 years ago.

Because of it’s program nature with various brush folders and texture folders, it’d similar to Clip Studio in it’s customization for brush textures and settings. You can create your own textures, brushes and such and import them into the program. I find it’s overall feeling when drawing is really smooth even in a lot it’s brush settings. It’s got great reaction time and feels a lot like traditional art for that reason. Even with a really high Stabilization it’s reaction and accuracy to the line is really nice. The digital coloring on the other hand doesn’t really feel as good. I like to use the marker tool because I personally enjoy the look of washed colors so it isn’t too bad for me but when I need flat colors or blended rendering I tend to personally struggle with getting it done at a decent speed. But all the conveniences of the placement for in-program functions like new-layer, merge layer, copy/paste and blank layer are in the same place which I prefer over Clip Studio’s spread out options. It’s possible I can move them around more but the built in thought of the placement for a lot of things in Paint Tool Sai is a nice start for someone looking to just get started within digital art and needs a program with just enough stuff beyond the essentials to let you do really good quality work.

Now I’ve upgraded to a full PC, which I got in 2020. I use an Omen as I expected that if I wanted to use other art programs or draw on even bigger canvases that I should need a more robust system than what I used on the Surface Pro, but I didn’t need anything too crazy that would require a custom system. I also took this as a time to get a slightly larger tablet. Currently I use a XP-Pen tablet which is noticeably different to use than a surface pro. Since a surface Pro is also a laptop/tablet it had a smoother screen, untextured and such, where as the XP-Pen has a slight Matte to it. The XP-Pen also has a layered screen, where theres a slight slight space between where your pen is and the actual place it’s drawing at.

My use of Sai has gone down in the last month however as I finally began using Clip Studio. I admit that theres still something about the feel of the program I don’t like in comparison to Sai but it’s a better overall experience for making higher quality, more complete work at this time. Partially because I still haven’t figured out my art process. Clip Studio has made the convenience of coloring much more accessible to me on a variety of levels. It let’s me feel like I’m not overly perfectionist on my sketch process or lineart in comparison to just laying down a few colors because I don’t have confidence with them. Now even without confidence in my color choices or usage I at least feel like I’ve been able to fake it. In sai it was very dependent on you knowing what colors you wanted to use and what tool you’d use to lay them down. So far it doesn’t feel that way in Clip Studio. I can choose a basic brush and paint bucket and get color laid down in about 20 minutes if I wanted or take more time with a slightly varied brush and get that washed style I like while also being able to properly fill the spaces of the work.

Overall in my art process itself it’s been a lot faster as well than in Sai, perhaps because I’m still taking it slower with the express reason of really learning to use it for efficiency. My progression through the years has sort of allowed me to take that previous knowledge I’d gained and use it in what I do next which is generally what one does when making a change to their professional processes. A lot of doing things new successfully depends on how much you can make it work with what you already know.

Finally let’s talk about my art process itself, what my sort of mentality is behind it. A lot of what I do is based on “Oh I really want to see something like this!” or “That would be a fun/cool image” if I’m drawing for myself. I start with a thumbnail sketch, enlarge that and then do another more detailed sketch on top of that. Typically I haven’t done lineart in the past because it adds a lot of time to the process and I never feel like it looks good compared to sketch. Now that I have clip studio though and the coloring process can go a lot faster with better lineart, I’ve been trying to do a bit cleaner sketches or full lineart. Coloring usually is flat colors first, washed shading next and then multiple layer styles on top of that of highlights and shading. I usually do washed shading as a sort of “sketch” for the shades. Usually a rough colored drawing takes about 2 hours? Sometimes a bit more depending on how much I clean up the lines, sometimes less if I just slap on the colors and lines.

The things that I feel I need to work on the most are usually in regards to colors and composition. I tend to focus up my character compositions to fill the whole page either by intentionally drawing them large or by enlarging the sketches to fill the page size. But if it’s a composition that isn’t character focused or has some more environmental aspects then I tend to struggle. My color choices also are hard to do because I don’t usually consider them in my sketching phase. Since I usually go into pieces with an idea of what person, character or outfits I’m drawing then colors tend not to be something I think too much about. This is something I notice a lot in environmental drawings though because the colors get so clashed when actual lighting and such needs to be planned out against a certain layout. Which sucks because I absolutely LOVE vibrant coloring and such but I don’t know how to make that work with environment stuff yet.

A lot of what I want to draw, in both style and “substance”, is character driven. I like action that shows a lot of atmosphere or feels very in character. When a still image can feel like it captures the feeling of a moment or feels like it was made with a real idea in mind that means a lot to me, so that’s what I try to go in with when I’m drawing. For characters and such that can be a variety of things from just lounging around or hanging out to getting dressed-up or a variety of actions. It’s really fun to see so much more in the things that I like and to be able to share those things through art is wonderful.

To send you off I want to say that…I like being an artist. It’s so nice to know and learn a skill like art since it can be a sort of perspective into a person’s views. People’s ability to connect over concepts and such is so cool and I feel like even today when we have fine art, fanart and everything in-between that it really sets up the fun of creativity and community. Right now there’s an ongoing official art series of Miku and Pokemon drawn by various artists. Some people have begun taking that concept and drawing it themselves, putting their own spins on it in their version of the pokemon style and outfits. It’s so cool that looking through it all I can barely tell which ones are official and which are fan made. Like it’s a clear cut conversation where everyone can give it a shot with their own ideas and can still be talking about the same thing. I think that’s lovely.

For my art in the future, I want to be able to design and draw a buncha stuff. I really like stationary and want to make some stuff in the future for it. These report logs are one place I’ll be playing around with that to test it a bit so I’m excited to continue these. I also want to better my Background drawing because I really love the idea of being able to put characters in a location, somewhere I can imagine them being. I’ve gotten better at character interactions but I want to think about how much further that can go if I add an environment. For the future of my style…I don’t know! I like to have a very dreamy or washed style but also bold colors and expressive lines. But I’ll definitely be thinking about it even more in the future as I start developing a finished my process (getting fully rendered colors, lineart, etc.).

#digital art #digital illustration #long reads #long post #clip studio paint #paint tool sai #paint tool sai 2 #digital aritst #thank you for your time I'm giving some stuff a go! #i'd love to hear about what other's experiences are with programs and learning digital art has been over the years #it's been a really really weird learning curve in that most of the learning was just...futsing around #Hisui Notes

[nysocboy]

Michael Monsour: Cryptocore, Chalk Mountain, and Potential Transphobia

I'm not sure if this joke is transphobic or not.

Cryptocore appears in Episodes 1.4 and 1.9 as one of Keefe's Satanist ex-boyfriends. He appears first wearing a gas mask. At Club Sinister, he grabs Keefe and fondles his chest. And during Kelvin's rescue of Keefe in the isolation tanke, he says "Shh! The baby is sleeping,"

I have yet to determine where the name comes from. Cryptocore is a malware attacking cybercurrency, but it didn't appear in the news until 2020. He was created sometime in 2018.

Michael Monsour, who played Cryptocore, has an interesting biography: from Chalk Mountain, Texas -- 65 miles from Fort Worth -- began doing theater at the Granbury Opera House at age 12, then moved to Austin to pursue his "true love," filmmaking. He produces and hosts comedy shows, especially improv.

He has 24 acting credits, including Ziggy Rotten in Die, Emos, Die!, Judas in Saved by the Savior, Timmy in Potheads: The Movie, and Asmodeus in Dead in Texas.

He has a girlfriend, so he is probably heterosexual, which I guess is a good thing. Imagine the life of a gay kid growing up in Chalk Mountain, Texas.

#the righteous gemstones #Michael Monsour #Keefe Chambers #Club Sinister #Cryptocore

[mkpenvs3000w23]

The Last Blog

I want to begin this post by saying thank you to everyone for taking the time to read and respond to these posts! I loved reading about everyone’s personal experiences on concepts this class has presented us with. I probably would not discuss these topics without this class.

We started off the blogs by discussing our relationships with nature. I found my childhood has a lot to do with the way I interpret nature and my family and friends play a large role in these experiences. The idea of” invisible backpacks” and how we all carry our knowledge and experiences with us when interpreting any situation, was a crucial part of the blogs in the starting weeks. In unit 2 we had the opportunity to discuss the role of environmental interpreters and how the roles may vary depending on where you are in the world. We then discussed our own ideal roles as interpreters, and I specifically chose to look at plastics and wastes. The following week the role of “privilege” was discussed, later in this post I will discuss why I think it is crucial to acknowledge how privileged we really are. Then we looked at different interpretation of nature such as art and music, followed by the role of history. The reason for this really brief wrap up is because all of these posts lead into this weeks prompt. Putting all these ideas together, we are able to answer the question of how we would describe our person ethic as a nature interpreter.  

In terms of my personal ethic as a nature interpreter I think the biggest belief I bring is that everyone is free to and should interpret nature in their own way. In other words, there is no right or wrong way to interpret nature. I also believe it is important that we do not take the opportunities we have for granted. We are living in a time where everyone is constantly on the go, and I think practicing gratitude is often overlooked. Getting caught up in day-to-day life, especially those who work in a closed office 9-5, get stuck in their routine and having been there before, I found myself really missing my afternoon hikes and adventures I went on during the pandemic. I began to appreciate the smaller things like sunsets while coming back from work or the beautiful clear sky on my way to work. Here is one of the beautiful pictures I got to take right outside my workplace!

A lot of my beliefs stem from my childhood and how I was brought up. My parents always emphasized the importance of gratitude, whether that be the food on your table, the trips you are able to take or the heat in your house. It is important to note that privilege is also interpreted in different ways by every individual, so what I see as a privilege may not be seen as one for someone else.

The idea of “invisible backpacks” comes back to me when thinking about the beliefs I bring as a nature interpreter. The “baggage” we all carry with us allows our interpretations to different (Beck et al., 2018). I mentioned in one of my first blogs that this can be something as simple as looking in the sky and seeing a cloud shaped as a bunny, whereas someone else might see the same cloud as a cat.

As I was looking through some articles, I found a lot of them come back to teachers and school settings. Teachers’ beliefs about the nature of knowledge and learning have an impact on curriculum selection, teaching tactics and assessment procedures. Teachers’ beliefs influence their learning objectives and plans (Li, 2018). The research in this study is relatable to a nature interpretation perspective as it allows you as an interpreter to use your thoughts and experiences to guide your peers, friends and family. Something as simple as going on a walk on a summer night where you look up at the stars can be influences by an interest in an astronomy. Findings in this case study, specifically of students and teachers’ perspectives on the education of translators and interpreters, show factors not related to schooling may have an effect on how effectively teachers instruct their students (Li, 2018). When I think back to my days in grade school, I realize my favourite teachers were those who I was able to relate to and had similar interests and traits as me. I vividly remember my gym teacher being my favourite because he shared an interest in the same sports as me.

In terms of responsibilities, I believe sharing and showcasing the beauty of nature is something I am responsible for. As I mentioned in an older blog, I love taking pictures, so sharing these with family and friends on social media or in person is something I feel responsible for. Having a section of my personal social media to display my passion for photography is a way for me to express myself, which I am so grateful for. Stories, dances, and songs serve a range of functions in various cultures from amusement to instruction, as was discussed in the course notes (Hooykaas, 2020). We are able to see a wide variety of talent presentation in different ways because we live in such a multicultural society (Hooykaas, 2020). Personally, photography, listening to different genres of music, and being a dancer having done hip-hop and bhangra (Folk dance that originated in Punjab) are some of the few opportunities I have had to explore different cultures and practices. I am sure I am not the only one, so I’d love to hear from you guys!

Here's another picture I had the opportunity to capture at the Arboretum here in Guelph!

I have loved writing these blogs and reading everyone’s in return! Being able to connect with everyone has been a great opportunity. Have a great rest of the semester!

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For a better world. Sagamore Venture.

Hooykaas, A. (2020). ENVS 3000 Unit 10: Nature Interpretation's Role in Environmental Sustainability [Courselink Content] https://courselink.uoguelph.ca/d2l/le/content/791355/viewContent/3306935/View

Li, X. (2018). Teaching beliefs and learning beliefs in translator and interpreter education: An exploratory case study. The Interpreter and Translator Trainer, 12(2), 132-151.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’m almost at the end of Daniel Kitson’s radio show Trifle radio, and somehow the fact that I had the central conceit spoiled for me before I ever started it does not take anything away from its ability to mess with my mind. I know what the ending is, and I’m still listening to it thinking, “I have no idea what’s real. How is this happening? Does he even own a van? I’m no longer sure Devon’s a real place. I don’t think that’s actually a kettle. Does Tim Key even exist? I think Tim Key might be a fiction invented by Daniel Kitson in 2002, just to set up this ruse.”

I guess that’s the sign of a well executed twist, if it doesn’t rely purely on the shock of the ending, and can get in people’s heads even if they’ve already been told the ending so the pure shock isn’t there. Basically, what I think has happened is Daniel Kitson wrote a radio play about how weird it is to not be able to do the Edinburgh Festival because of the pandemic, and then recorded it with some of his friends, and released it throughout August 2020. But lied about what it was all the way along. Only I’m not sure what it actually was, and I have a couple of episodes left but I have a feeling they’re not going to answer all my questions.

The music got better. I haven’t even wanted to skip any songs during the Trifle episodes, the way I did in some of his 2018 and 2019 radio shows.

He’s talking about editing the Gregory Church show while doing this, and that seems to make sense. It has a vaguely Gregory Church-esque feel, as in that show, he started by telling us, “Most of the story is fiction, this bit’s true though”, and then he told us the true bit, but then he just kept talking and never said when the true bit ended and the fiction began. I got way too far into that show before I realized he wasn’t only embellishing the details, he had in fact left the truth behind completely, almost at the very beginning. But I kept waiting for something that would explain it all, and it just ended without that, and that is why I think Gregory Church is his story show I’ve re-watched the most times.

Gregory Church was also similar to this in that it sounded real because it takes place in the same universe as his stand-up shows, in which the stories are real (I mean, I thought they were, I now think the entire Chocolate Milk Gang and also Isy Suttie might somehow be figments of both his and my imagination). Like he’d talk about taking letters to Edinburgh and running them by his friend Gavin, and he perfectly matched the tone of the way he’d tell that story in stand-up, so I’d get lulled into the mental state in which I listen to his stand-up shows, which is an assumption that it’s all real, and then I’d have to re-remember that none of it happened. That’s happening in the radio show too, except that this time he’s got the actual Gavin Osborn to go... somewhere, and play along with it. And has gotten Tim Key to pretend he’s been taken hostage and forced to read poetry, I think.

I realize no one or almost no one reading this will have any idea what I’m talking about, and if you’d like to fix that, I recommend the radio show and the story shows (the radio show wasn’t meant to be recorded and therefore could fall under the category of “Kitson shows that I’d love to post about but shouldn’t because he doesn’t want them out there”, except that the files are right there on Fourble and easy to find, so I feel like you can’t say I was the one ruining his desire for secrecy by making a Tumblr post). And if not, then thank you for letting me take advantage of the way this website just lets us post any random thoughts we have, whether or not they’re of interest to other people. Feeling especially appreciative of Tumblr’s existence on this day, as some important bits of the rest of the internet fall apart.

[daddybiff]

DO DINOSAURS DO DINNER PARTIES?

Part 2. I know it is long, I truly thank you.

In May 2021, T&B invite us to join them on a trip to Tennessee in July. Miggs (@dirtylittlebookworm) likes to 'joke' that B likes to "collect" popular Fetlifers. My understanding is that one of B's biggest sources of BDSM info during her early exploration in late 2018/early 2019 was a podcaster based out of TN. Over time, she connected with this person (T running into him at an unrelated conference helped also) and she began to develop a friendship with this figurehead and some of his local followers, especially during COVID through their Discord group.

The relevance is that this trip was a week long road trip and vacation for T&B that would culminate in her finally getting to meet all these people. T&B invited us to join them, with the expectation that we pay for our travel since they were renting their AirBnB either way. The offer was generous and we were glad to accept. But more on the trip later.

As May and June progressed, we continued to meet up with the couple, both in public/vanilla settings for dinner and private for play. Around this time, T is starting to frequently mention and discuss the subject of a quad/poly type dynamic amongst us, with comments not subtly thrown into convos. Almost immediately when we were asked about our thoughts at dinner one night, we made it clear that wasn't of interest to us. Miggs had dabbled in a triad shortly before meeting me with rather disastrous results and it simply wasn't an idea she (and I by proxy) cared to explore. But even after that initial discussion, T would continue to bring it up, essentially ignoring our boundaries.

In Mid-June, T&B invite us over to their house for dinner and to discuss the upcoming trip to TN. We would only be in town from Thursday-Monday of that week, while they would be there the whole week. During that weekend we were down there, there was going to be a meet & greet at the rental house on Friday night and on Saturday we would attend a 'Taste of Kink' and Play Party at a recently opened space. The objective of the meeting was to set expectations, boundaries, limits, etc. for the trip overall, but especially the party.

We went to their house for dinner, sat around and had drinks while discussing the trip. During this period, a convo struck up about a "new hairpulling technique" T was using on B *eye roll*.

B asked me if it was okay if T showed/demonstrated on Miggs, which I allowed. Shortly after, T and Miggs went into the kitchen and w/o hesitation B began to brat and whine as she wanted attention and hair pulls also. B craves attention, I later learned from Miggs, B may have been quite fond of me also. We would at times refer to B as being a "needy slut w/ a greedy pussy". She asked (or begged) that I pull her hair. I went into the kitchen and asked T if this was okay as I wasn't sure if we were "playing" that evening. T stated he was okay with it and turned to ask Miggs if she was okay with it. Miggs hesitantly stated it was okay, so long as it took place in the kitchen.

I admit, I enjoyed putting B in her place when given the opportunity. I went and got B and lead her into the kitchen by her hair, instructed her to sit on a stool and behave, while I pulled her hair and teased her. Now I will admit, despite my good long term memory, sometimes I may confuse a thing or two...

If I recall, I noticed Miggs was uncomfortable and began to withdraw from the whole situation. Following dinner and the intended convo, the night concluded w/o further engagement in a kink/sexual sense. On our drive home, Miggs informed me that she was very uncomfortable as she had been lead to believe the evening was not going to involve play of any type and understandably was not happy as she had not been in the mindset for what occurred. She began to divulge that she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the dynamic (the four of us) as a whole. Speaking up was a struggle for Miggs back then and she admitted she hadn't spoken up before or even that night, but had felt at times the concept of us playing together as couples came rather quickly and though she enjoyed it most of the time, other times she felt conflicted. Now, the occasional talk and what she felt was a growing pressure to further things in a poly sense, had heightened these feelings and made her uneasy.

We discussed this at length (even had an argument) and debated whether we should still go on the trip. Airfare had been bought, plans/arrangements were made, a lot had to be taken into consideration. We eventually agreed to still go, but emphasized the need to communicate and understand we can withdraw or not participate if we don't wish to. Days later, I reached out to T and explained what had happened so he and B could be aware. T is good at appearing to sympathize and "hear you" but you come to learn he doesn't. While he acknowledged our concerns, he did something I would come to realize later was very common. He deflected by adding his recent feelings about Miggs presenting as 'jealous' at times. This did not sit well with me, as I knew and went through jealousy often with my ex-wife. Miggs was not jealous.

This convo happened to run parallel to another convo in the same time frame with T&B, in which I reached out for some advice about mine and Miggs future and my intent to propose to her. While talking to T, B interjected that I better hurry as she knew that Miggs was "getting antsy". This was weird, as Miggs and I had a very clear understanding that we wouldn't do anything until after my divorce was official, which wouldn't happen for almost two more months. I later asked Miggs about this and learned it was not true and she confirmed that as we planned I needed to be divorced first and back on my feet with work. Miggs didn't even want to live with me until I was divorced, let alone be engaged.

A lot was happening in my personal life at this point. I tragically lost a good friend at the age of 30, I would go on to quit my job after the 4th of July and just before our trip to start a new career and of course our trip to Tennesee.

Things definitely got Rocky on 'Top' of everything...

TO BE CONTINUED...

#story of t

[mavdrones]

Why Are Drone Delivery Services Becoming So Popular In India?

Drone delivery services have made a significant entrance into India's technological and logistical landscape, marking a notable milestone in the country's progression.

This journey began in 2018 as the Indian government began relaxing regulations on drone operations, opening doors for pilot projects and experimentation in drone-based deliveries.

One noteworthy initiative took flight in 2019 when the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) Kanpur launched a pilot project to assess the feasibility and efficiency of drone deliveries, showcasing India's growing interest and potential in drone technology.

Today, although still relatively limited in deployment, drone delivery services are gradually gaining traction across India. Looking ahead, it's foreseeable that such services will become increasingly commonplace nationwide.

Advantages of Drone Delivery Services in India

India has witnessed a notable shift towards incorporating drone delivery services into its logistics and supply chain sectors, driven by a range of compelling advantages that these services offer in the country's diverse and challenging terrain.

Enhanced Accessibility to Remote Areas: India's varied geography, encompassing vast rural expanses, mountainous regions, and islands, presents logistical hurdles for traditional delivery methods. Drones adeptly navigate these challenges, reaching previously inaccessible areas with essential goods and medical supplies.

Speed and Efficiency: Drone delivery significantly slashes delivery times compared to conventional ground transportation, bypassing issues like traffic congestion and poor road conditions prevalent in India. This heightened speed and efficiency are especially crucial for time-sensitive deliveries such as perishable goods or emergency medical supplies.

Reduced Operational Costs: Employing drones for deliveries can prove more cost-effective than maintaining a fleet of vehicles, offering long-term savings on fuel, maintenance, and labor. This translates to potential cost reductions for businesses and possibly more affordable products for consumers.

Importance of Drone Delivery Services in India

Drone delivery services play a pivotal role in driving economic growth and development in India, owing to their diverse applications and benefits.

Fostering Innovation and Economic Growth: Embracing drone delivery services stimulates innovation and technological advancements within the country. It fosters a conducive environment for startups and businesses to pioneer new solutions and applications for drone technology, thereby fueling economic growth and generating employment opportunities in the tech sector.

Enhancing E-Commerce and Consumer Services: For the burgeoning e-commerce sector, drone deliveries offer a competitive advantage by ensuring rapid and dependable delivery services. This improvement can bolster consumer confidence and loyalty, spurring growth for online retailers. Additionally, drone delivery opens doors for businesses to extend their services to previously underserved markets, expanding market reach and inclusivity.

DJI FlyCart 30: The Premier Delivery Drone by DJI in India

The DJI FlyCart 30 stands at the forefront of delivery drone technology, poised to revolutionize the logistics sector in India.

With an impressive 30 kg payload capacity and a flight range of up to 28 km, it excels in executing last-mile deliveries and navigating remote logistics challenges.

Its remarkable speed of 20 m/s and maximum altitude of 6,000 meters ensure swift and efficient operations across diverse terrains.

Engineered for durability, the DJI FlyCart 30 is built to withstand extreme temperatures and harsh weather conditions, boasting resistance to winds up to 12 m/s.

Equipped with advanced sensing and safety features, including obstacle avoidance and dual batteries with a parachute system, it prioritizes safety during flights.

The drone's communication capabilities, featuring O3 technology for stable video transmission up to 20 km, enable real-time monitoring over extended distances.

Enhancing operational flexibility, its dual-operator mode allows for seamless coordination, while its foldable design and portable storage case facilitate swift deployment and easy transport.

In essence, the DJI FlyCart 30 represents a fusion of cutting-edge technology and rugged design, poised to address the evolving challenges of modern package delivery in India.

#dronelife #drones #dronepilot #uav #drone photography #droneshots

[thisaintascenereviews]

Justin Timberlake - Everything I Thought It Was

Justin Timberlake’s first album in six years, Everything I Thought It Was, comes with some context that frankly needs to be unpacked before we can talk about it. For starters, JT’s public image has been somewhat tarnished over the last couple of years, due to Britney Spears releasing her memoir and saying a lot of unflattering things about him and their relationship. People have also been began reexamining certain pop culture events in retrospect, especially the 2004 Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction of Janet Jackson (which she was penalized for but JT wasn’t). He should be rightfully held accountable for things that he’s said and done, and he has since apologized, but JT’s biggest crime is relying on his white male privilege in the pop industry during the 90s and 00s, especially when misogyny was running rampant. The other important piece of context that’s needed is that his last album, 2018’s Man Of The Woods, wasn’t critically acclaimed like his last few albums. It was successful, but a lot of critics were not kind to it. Man Of The Woods tried to reframe his sound as “back to his roots” album, taking on influences of country, Americana, traditional R&B, and some futuristic funk, but it was kind of a mess. Personally, I like that mess, and think that album isn’t as bad as most critics made it out to be.

A couple of months ago, JT released the first single from this album, “Selfish,” and it served as both somewhat of a return to form and a red herring. That song is very reminiscent of something he would have put out The 20/20 Experience, especially “Mirrors,” but with a sense of wisdom as someone who is a decade older. It turned out to be a red herring, because Everything I Thought It Was is a very energetic, groovy, and fun album. It has a few ballads, and some introspective moments, but this album is very much a return to form. This album reminds me a lot of his first few albums, whether it’s the straightforward pop and R&B of Justified, forward thinking pop and R&B of FutureSex / LoveSounds, or the disco, funk, and retro-inspired sounds of The 20/20 Experience. You can listen to the album and pick out sounds from other albums, or even specific callbacks to other albums, but the songs stand up on their own, so as much as this album leans into nostalgia, and it definitely does, it’s not the only trick it has up its sleeve.

At this point in his career, where JT is a husband, father, and older in general, he doesn’t have anything to prove. I don’t understand why people act as though a lot of well-established artists, especially those that have been around for decades, need to keep pumping out mindblowing or unique material that rivals their best stuff. That is ideal, as we want our favorite artists to keep making great music, but JT is a guy with nothing to prove and nothing to lose. If he wants to make an album that’s basically him doing what he does best, I’ll take it. A lot of other reviews I’ve seen for this album have made the argument that this record is safe, and I’d say that, too, but why is that a bad thing? Songs like “Fuckin’ Up The Disco,” “Play,” “Technicolor,” “No Angels,” “Liar,” “Selfish,” and “Sanctified,” among others, have fantastic grooves, silky smooth vocals, and wonderful production from a myriad of producers and writers. All of these songs have something I really enjoy, and weirdly enough, its 77-minute length doesn’t bother me. There’s something to like on every song, but I will say that the last four songs slow down the album a bit, because they’re slower ballads. “Selfish” is the one that kicks off the last few tracks, and that song is the best out of them, but there’s “Alone,” “Paradise,” and “Conditions.” “Paradise” is interesting, because it features *NSYNC, and not in a small role, but this an *NSYNC song, through and through.

If there is one issue I have with this album, and I say that lightly, it’s that the lyrics aren’t anything we haven’t heard from him. JT made the album out to be that this would be very self-reflective and introspective, and the opening track, “Memphis,” sort of promises that. The song is JT looking back at his younger self and being told that he’s going to be a star but at the expense of not being able to express sadness and pain, along with feeling alone and isolated. The song is sort of clever by being this drab and downtrodden trap / R&B song and JT’s vocals sound defeated and saddened. If that’s the point, that’s extremely clever, but if not, it’s just a coincidence the song sounds like that. The closing track, “Conditions,” is a song that has him admitting that he isn’t perfect and he’s working on being better. The album is bookended by some introspective songs, but the issue is, the rest of the album is stuff we’ve heard from him for the past 20 years. If anything, the reflection comes into the sound of the album, not necessarily what he’s saying.

Everything I Thought It Was is an album that feels like a mix between a course correction after Man Of The Woods (which isn’t even that bad, honestly) and an album that takes advantage of the nostalgia wave that we’re in. He doesn’t have anything to prove with this, and from what I’ve seen, most casual listeners care more about the hits than they do new material. That’s the case for most artists, unfortunately, but this is an album for diehard fans and people that are looking for a solid pop and R&B record. This has some of the best pop and R&B tracks I’ve heard in a while, and given some time, a handful of these songs may end up being some of his best. As a diehard fan of JT for the past 12 years, this is everything I’ve wanted, especially after Man Of The Woods. It’s just JT doing what he does best, and while there’s only one song that’s over seven minutes (“Technicolor”) that brings to mind The 20/20 Experience, this is a fun, energetic, and groovy album that I’m having a blast with.

#justin timberlake #everything i thought it was #selfish #no angels #pop #r&b #soul #funky #funk #rock #FutureSex LoveSounds #the 2020 experience #suit and tie #pusher love girl #mirrors #justified #man of the woods

[graziadiocenterilpostino]

Alumni Spotlight: Alessandro Russo

1. What first piqued your interest in the Italian language and why did you decide to get an MA in Italian Studies?   

My parents immigrated from Naples, Italy and our regional language Neapolitan was always spoken in the house, among my parents, grandmother, siblings, and aunts. Although not standard Italian, this imbued within me a strong connection to Italy and an interest in knowing more about the country of my ancestors, especially during my teenage and early adult years. I began immersing myself in Italian music, films, magazines, and books to familiarize myself with Italian culture and develop an ear for standardized Italian. I also took my first college courses in beginning and intermediate Italian at local colleges to enhance my knowledge of Italian language and culture. I worked in the public sector for many years afterwards and was not able to formally study Italian though I continued to engage with anything Italian including making friends and acquaintances with other Italians and Italian Americans. It wasn’t until I began attending Cal State Long Beach and spoke to Dr. Carlo Chiarenza who encouraged me to change my major to Italian. Soon after I met with Dr. Clorinda Donato who heard my spoken Italian and immediately boosted my confidence that I could pursue an Italian BA. Dr. Donato changed my major that day and that is when I seriously began to study Italian Language, Culture and Literature more in-depth. When Dr. Donato became the George L. Graziadio Chair of Italian Studies, she hired me to be her assistant. At the time, the MA in Italian Studies did not yet exist though Dr. Donato had been working very hard on a proposal to create the program. I played a small part in assisting her during the process. She gave me the awesome responsibility of helping create the survey piece and writing its executive summary which was included in the final proposal. The MA in Italian Studies became a reality in Fall 2014 and I immediately enrolled. I was the second graduate of the program. All thanks to the extraordinary professors who mentored and encouraged me which include Dr. Clorinda Donato, Dr. Enrico Vettore, Dr. Carlo Chiarenza and Dr. Pasquale Palmieri.

2. You are Italian-American, do you have friends and family in Italy that you visit or speak with often? 

I have a vast network of relatives and friends in Italy that I communicate with often and visit as often as I can. The largest of which is my mother’s side as she was the only member of her family to immigrate to the United States. My cousins and their spouses along with my three siblings have a WhatsApp group where we often talk to each other. It helps keep the family close even if far away. I also have connections to more distant relatives on my father’s side with whom I stay connected. This includes my second cousin who I have vacationed with often and whose home I stay in when I’m in Italy. While pursuing my MA in Italian Studies we had a Visiting Fulbright Scholar Dr. Pasquale Palmieri with whom I developed a friendship. I was also able to attend his wedding in Caserta, Italy in 2018.

3. You currently work at CSU Long Beach for the Economics department, what kind of work do you do there?

My title is Administrative Analyst/Specialist so I’m basically the operational manager for the department. I handle most all aspects of the administrative functions of the department. My responsibilities include fiscal spending and budgeting, faculty travel, classroom scheduling, curriculum submissions (new and updates) including catalog updates, hiring of lecturers and student employees, assisting with tenure-track faculty searches and collection and maintenance of department materials and data, to name a few. We staff members are like the spokes on a wheel that provides the support and stability for the campus to run 365 days a year.

4. What has been your fondest memory at CSU Long Beach so far (as a student or staff member)? 

I have so many fond memories as both a student and a staff member. However, if I have to pick one it would be the last day of my master’s degree comprehensive exams. This was the day of the oral examination where I was interviewed by Dr. Donato and Dr. Vettore on what I had written during the two-day comprehensive exams. The oral exam had just finished and they asked me to step out in the hallway. I was so nervous and practically jumping out of my skin when another faculty member walked by and saw how anxious I appeared. This other faculty member told me not to worry and that I will be called any minute back into the room. At that moment, Dr. Vettore peered out of the room and solemnly asked me back into the room while gesturing with his finger. I apprehensively walked into the room as Dr. Donato threw her hands up and exclaimed “Congratulazioni!!” and Dr. Vettore smiled and said “Alessandro Russo virgola M.A.!” (Alessandro Russo comma M.A.). I breathed a sigh of relief and a feeling of profound pride and accomplishment came over me. I was so happy to have shared that moment with two of the professors I hold in such high regard. As I left the room all the pent up nervous energy was lifted and I was floating on cloud nine. I immediately called my family to tell them the good news.

5. What is something unique about yourself that you would like to share?My family often asks me to sing Neapolitan songs at parties, especially at weddings. My dad had always been the go-to for singing at family functions where he would belt out songs like “’O Sole Mio” or “Torna ‘a Surriento”. When my family discovered I could hold a tune like my dad, I inadvertently took his place after his passing. I’m often joined by all my cousins as I lead into “’O Sole Mio” though I prefer “’O Surdato ‘Nnammurato” or subtle ballads such as “Reginella” . I am very proud of my “napoletanità” that I have always immersed myself in the language, history, culture and traditions of my ancestors. So much so that I have involved myself in genealogy and discovered that my great grandfather Raffaele Russo was a Bersagliere (member of the Italian army infantry corps) during The Capture of Rome on September 20, 1870 that was the final event of the unification of Italy (Risorgimento) and around 1820 his grandfather Giuseppe Russo (my 3rd great-grandfather) was a royal horseman for Ferdinand II of Bourbon, King of the Two Sicilies. My family roots run very deep in Naples.

Alessandro Russo