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princeescaluswords · 2 years

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Seasons Change

Yesterday I saw a post by someone I admire in which they answered an anon who wondered why the fandom pays so much attention to seasons one through three of Teen Wolf, and their answer was that part of it was they were 'mourning' characters that had left the show.

And I had to laugh, because it's such bullshit.

In this scene from Riddled (3x18), Scott and Derek are talking together while waiting on Stiles MRI, and they say this:

Derek: Think of it more like sharing a few trade secrets. You know, I took Cora back to South America, right? It's where she spent most of her time after the fire. But that's not the only reason I left. I needed to talk to my mother.

Scott: Your dead mother?

Derek: She told me something that changed my perspective on a lot of things. She said that my family didn't just live in Beacon Hills. They protected it. This town needs someone to protect it. Someone like you.

Scott: And someone like you to teach me a few trade secrets.

Scenes like this is why the fandom seems to me to be predominantly and perpetually stuck in the first three seasons.

It wasn't because certain characters had left. Jackson and Erica had been gone for more than half the aired episodes at the end of the season. Everyone could recognize that Boyd had been underutilized during his time on the show. Cora had always been a non-entity. I would pay money for someone to give me an answer on what part of Isaac's story still needed to be told. Allison may have been dead, but her presence was still felt through Scott, Lydia, and Chris throughout the next seasons. And Derek and Peter were still around and would be until Smoke & Mirrors. There had to be a specific reason at this point.

Because it was at the end of Season 3B that they realized that no matter how much they wanted it, the narrative focus of Teen Wolf was and would always be Scott McCall. The show wasn't going to be a reclamation narrative about powerful families devastated by an endless war. It wasn't about Derek or Peter rising from the ashes to become beautiful, powerful leaders.

The scene in the hospital waiting room was the closest thing to an explicit statement of purpose. Scott wasn't going to be a point-of-view character or a gateway to traditional werewolf power structures. He wasn't going to slowly come to the realization that the Hale way was the best. The story was indelibly about his rise from being Red Riding Hood to becoming the Big Bad Wolf, about him forging a new pack around him, based on beliefs that were important to him, around the premise that "Not all monsters do monstrous things." Scott was forging the future, and he was leaving the "Hale Legacy" in the past where it belonged.

It's a great story, but it had a fatal flaw to the United States audience: it wasn't going to be a white story. And thus the fandom lost interest in what was actually happening on the screen when that became apparent. Let me provide you some evidence.

It stands to reason that if the fandom found the characters of the first three seasons more interesting and relatable, they would focus their efforts on them, right? But let's provide some statistics. Let's see the amount of work done on certain stories focusing on the relationships that they claim drove the first three seasons and didn't appear in the last three. These are filtered on the relationship and otp:true.

Jackson and Lydia: 135 stories

Scott and Allison: 328 stories

Boyd and Erica: 198 stories

Isaac and Allison: 107 stories

Stiles and Derek: 46364 stories

Stiles and Peter: 6293 stories

Stiles and Theo: 582 stories

Stiles and Derek's completely fanon romantic relationship gets more than 343 times the fanon attention than Jackson and Lydia gets. You can't tell me that Jackson and Lydia's relationship wasn't at the heart of the first three seasons, can you? There are nearly twice as many stories featuring a season 5 character than what many consider the seminal relationship of the show.

Or take a look at the Alpha Derek and Alpha Derek Hale tags, which account for nearly ten percent of all stories, and figure out which ones make him an alpha for no apparent reason other than Derek should be alpha. Because the alpha is the center of the pack and thus the narrative, right?

It's not hard to discover for yourself. It's easy to see that fandom's focus may be on the first three seasons, but the focus isn't on what actually happened in the first three seasons. Their focus is on what they wanted the first three seasons to be about. Look at the stories where Jackson comes back (or never leaves) and the author takes very special care to make sure that the animosity towards and rivalry with Scott (the person who spent most of a season trying to save his life) remains but Jackson's sneering attitude toward Derek has vanished into the ether. Look at the stories where Stiles can't stand the fact that Scott was forced by Gerard to make Derek bite him and turns to Derek, only to forget how many episodes that season Stiles was frantic to stop Derek and his betas from killing Lydia. Find, if you can, stories where Derek addresses Isaac's complaints from Alpha Pact beyond "Shut up and know your place."

There are changes going forward in the second half of the show's story but these changes arise in order to present different types of challenges to Scott, not because the show lost its sense of humor or its found family themes or it's dedication to high school shenanigans.

Characters left, but they aren't mourning the fact that the 'heart' of the show left, because it didn't. They were mourning because the story was never going to be a white story about a white family. It's the same reason that parts of the fandom are excited about Eli Hale even though we literally know nothing about the character or the size of his role. It represents another chance.

#teen wolf fandom racism #fandom racism #scott mccall defense squad

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 3 years

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So I know I've talked a lot about these two contrasted party scenes in season 3 but I want to focus specifically on the placement:

In the first shot, this is 3x01 and Buck's party after passing his re-certification test and being cleared for active duty. We have Michael sans a partner, Eddie sans a partner, Bobby sans a partner (since Athena is with Buck), Karen and Hen, Chim sans a partner (since Maddie is with Buck). We also have Christopher front and center and Harry behind him. (I can't see Denny but I'm sure he must be there somewhere). We also know Bobby pushes Eddie forward and Eddie is the first one to hug Buck. And we also see the scene happen right after of Buck, Christopher, and Eddie having a moment to themselves where Christopher gives Buck the card he made for him.

Then we have 3x18, May's graduation party. Before this shot, we saw Bobby and Athena standing together, and then Hen and Karen. When we see the shot above happen right after, we see Maddie and Chim standing in the background, Michael (sans a partner though after the beginning of the party, during the montage, he goes on his first date with David) up front and center with May, Buck and Eddie standing together in between the area of Bathena and Henren and then Madney, and then we see Christopher front and center, Denny right behind him, with Harry right next to Denny. Literally, the kids of two of the canon couples (May, Harry, and Denny) are all grouped together in between the couples (and someone who is about to be coupled up) with Christopher in front, standing side by side with May.

And they not only showed you the contrast of both parties with these shots. They also showed you Buck's moment with Christopher to show how their bond had solidified by the end of the season, the conversation Buck has with Bobby and that it doesn't end with Buck coughing up blood, the night vs day dynamic (something not so great happens at Buck's party and leads into Buck's lawsuit arc and Eddie's eventual spiraling as well as the lawsuit angst/anger for the 118), the parallel that is its own contrast of the events that are being celebrated (both people getting to the finish line for different things but also both not going as expected, Buck not able to return to work, May choosing to become a 911 operator rather than go to college right away), Eddie being given his own homemade card from Christopher before he leaves for summer camp, everyone chatting vs everyone dancing and taking pictures, Buck mentioning the end of his relationship with Ali vs Bobby checking that Buck is okay after what happened with Abby, etc.

All of this is very purposeful. They could have placed Eddie and Buck differently. They could have placed the kids and especially Christopher differently. They could have had Michael in May's spot and vice versa. They could have not contrasted (and somewhat paralleled) the two party scenes at the beginning and end of the season. But they did. And they absolutely did it for a reason. Especially when we all know scenes get blocked before they're shot.

And considering we got all of this (and Buck's closure with Abby and Eddie choosing not to pursue the flirtation with Ana) in season 3, then this is seriously right around the corner:

Buddie is coming.

#buddie #buck x eddie #buddipher is endgame #911 fox #buddie meta #meta #911posts

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deluweil · 3 years

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Buddie 4x14 review - if you haven’t watched it yet don’t read.

The episode starts where we left it, once Buck was on the ground, it seems like he was thrust back into reality. I noticed two things here (connected with 4x13) Eddie didn’t close his eyes until Buck was safe behind the truck on the ground. And the second thing is that Buck was spurred into action the moment Eddie’s eyes closed.

And I mean this was some BAMF Buckley right there, that was SEALS trained Evan Buckley! 😱🤩 It’s like training and instinct kicked in and all that mattered was to get to Eddie and get him help as soon as possible, sniper’s bullets be damned. I gotta say it was executed to perfection❣

Big kudos to both Oliver and Ryan for delivering this whole sequence in a heart-wrenching, beautiful manner.

The shooting doesn’t stop and they get Eddie out of there under fire, I really like the 133 captain and crew, they worked so well with the members of the 118, it seemed effortless. (I’m not touching that subject, but let’s picture Buck lifting Eddie bodily up into his arms and in to the truck for just a second here. - I mean we wanted it but not under these circumstances)

Buck taking the role of medic when finally getting Eddie into the truck, is so amazing, he’s usually the one either in need for treatment or the one who stands back and let’s Hen, Chim and Eddie do the medic stuff, it is their jobs after all, but he doesn’t sit back and let the medics of the 133 to take over, he does it himself.

He tore Eddie’s uniform’s buttons open (again, that’s not how any of us wished for this to happen), tore the pressure bandage wrap open and pressed it down on the wound, he did not step back from Eddie, until he absolutely has to, at the hospital. 😭

Eddie, my poor baby, was lying on the ground of the truck, bleeding and half conscious and the one thing he focused on was the blood on Buck’s shirt and he asked him if he’s hurt. I mean I could totally cry, because that’s Eddie. Best friend, combat medic, protective and caring, that never goes away even as he’s lying there bleeding. 🥺🥺

Eddie was legit ready to forget his injuries and try to get up and take care of Buck if he was hurt too. He loses consciousness only when Buck assures him that he’s not hurt.

Buck’s frantic litany of “Just hang on, we’re almost there.” and “I need you to hang on” (“I need you”, not we, not Christopher, “I need you”) was really hard to watch, because even though we all read and wrote it in fanfics thousands of times, watching it actually play out was heartbreaking, I totally teared up with Buck there.🥺🥺

For firefighters the job ends at the hospital doors, so Buck naturally, out of instinct stops from following. But that’s Eddie taken away from him and he looks frozen, at that moment he must have thousands of thoughts running around his head.

“You ok Buckley?”

Buck’s broken “No.” was maybe expected, but it was also earth shattering of sorts. This is Buck standing there, knowing (especially after the well incident) that when Eddie is not okay, he’s not either. 😭❤

I want to point out that I loved the fact that the 133 didn’t just drive away or waited outside for the cops, they went in after Eddie. And after trying to check in on Buck, the Captain of the 133 went in too.

I’m going to point out a parallel here between S3 Finale and S4 finale, in 3x18 Eddie asks Buck if he’s ok as his ex-girlfriend was taken in the ambulance with her new fiancé, Buck’s response was “What’s next?” and going back to work. He was okay, because Eddie was with him, and there was still work to be done.

Here in 4x14, Eddie is taken from him to the hospital, and Buck doesn’t know if he’ll live, so Buck’s obvious answer here is ‘No’.

Later we see Buck exiting the hospital, in his firefighter uniform. I’m a little disappointed we don’t see him cleaning up, I know that could have made for a hell of a scene, Oliver would have killed it, and us in my opinion.

Taylor is coming to the hospital, not as a reporter but as a friend. She was worried. I like that side of her, when she knows to put away the reporter and to make sure her friend is in one piece. Her character development is shown beautifully in this scene.

Buck, in no condition to pretend and speak to the press, turns away from her, he doesn’t trust her at that moment and he doesn’t trust himself not to break down there. He’s teary, still in shock and his hands are shaking like crazy. (in complete contrast to the usual Buck, where he can be in danger or wrap up a crazy rescue and he is normally completely steady.)

Taylor, offered to take Buck to Eddie’s house to see Christopher, telling him he can’t go see Chris looking like he does now. “You can’t got see his son like that.” - At first hear and several others it sounded like “Your son.” - of course it’s not but either way it would have been true too, because in a way Buck has been co-parenting Christopher for a very long time now. And indeed later when Buck gets to Eddie’s house he is washed and dressed in civilian clothes.

The scene with Oli and Gavin killed me! I thought for sure the breaking down will be done in private, but Buck couldn’t hold it together in front of Christopher once he found out Eddie is going to be ok, and Christopher comforting Buck was so so sweet.

Christopher’s “like the ones who fixed you?” Kind of gives us a certain idea as to the conversation Eddie had to have with Christopher when Buck was hurt. His sweet “Then he’s going to be ok,” he says it with such conviction, only adding “right?” only as an afterthought.

And as if he manifested it himself Buck then gets a text from Bobby that tells him that Eddie pulled through surgery and it looks good.

Buck actually dropped the phone from the relief and he started to cry, and sweet, adorable, national treasure Christopher puts an arm around him and tells him that Eddie is going to be okay. I definitely cried with Buck here. It was such a powerful scene and it was portrayed so well by Oliver and Gavin.

The “it’s going to be okay Buck” was kind of a call back to 3x01 - when Christopher reassures Buck and tells him “You’re going to be okay kid.” - I love these two together so much! ❤❤

When Bobby gives them the talk in the firehouse about how they proceed from there, Buck is standing with his arms crossed, looking completely dejected. And when Hen asks about the safety of their families, Bobby says there's no reason to believe they are in danger, Buck pipes in with “We didn’t have a reason to believe Eddie will get shot helping a kid either.” Buck is traumatized, and worried, he sleeps at Eddie’s house looking after Christopher.

I loved Christopher waking Buck up, and them having cereal breakfast together, a call back to Eddie and Christopher having breakfast together in 2x04. Buck doesn’t sit next to Chris, but across from him - to me it says that the seat between them is usually reserved to Eddie when they’re together at the house.

I love how Christopher’s teasing Buck about him snoring. And Buck is later confused because he’s unsure of whether or not Chris really understands what’s happening, but Carla assures him that he already lost his mother, unfortunately he understands better than he or she thinks. Which again should give people a new appreciation for Christopher’s sunshine child attitude.🥺❤

Carla showing up to take Christopher to school, is showing relief that Buck could finally sleep, which means that he didn’t for at least a couple of nights. She’s also asking him how it feels to go to work, Buck doesn’t even think about the sniper, for him all that matters is that Eddie is not out there with him and it feels off. (call back to 2x18 when Eddie seemed pensive about being back at work but Buck was not with them.)

Carla, bless her, retorts that that is not what she was asking - obviously she meant, she was worried about the sniper, but that is not Buck’s main worry, his head and his heart are somewhere else.

The crane scene was insane! I laughed when Chimney looked to Bobby and asked him “Can you blame him cap?” and Bobby flat out responded “Yeah!” 😂

The rescue was really impressive. However if Eddie ever found out about this he would probably hit Buck over the head with something heavy. It just goes to show that Eddie is Buck’s impulse control and vice-versa.

Bobby and Buck’s interaction wasn’t one of anger, Bobby was terrified and Buck was guilty but unapologetic, because he couldn’t protect Eddie but he could protect the rest of his family, so he did just that. Bobby didn’t have anything to say other than give him the same response Eddie did in Monsters - “Don’t do it again.” - Because for one, in my opinion, Bobby knows where Buck is coming from and also Bobby knows, he knows Eddie is Buck’s impulse control, knows he’s his anchor, he knows that Buck will only be his relatively normal self when Eddie comes back.

I’m not even going to touch the Taylor scene, yes she was worried, and yes she scolded him in a friendly way, but that kiss felt so out of left field for me, especially since Buck was just packing a bag to go stay with Christopher and Eddie was still unconscious at the hospital.

Also she freaking friendzoned him last episode, how fickle do male writers think women are? She gets a little scared and kisses the guy? Lucky they didn’t write in a sex scene! That was an insult to women everywhere in my opinion. It could have been set in so many better opportunities, why now? And if she’s scared now what’s to say that won’t make her leave like Ali did? I have a whole tirade about it but I will let it go for now.

Now I know ya’ll are like - Eddie woke up because his spidey senses told him someone was kissing his Buck (and I do not negate that point lol), but he just woke up and he asked for Buck. I find it so deliriously endearing that I need a moment even as I’m writing this.🤗🤗

I have to point out that there is no scene of Buck, Eddie and she who will not be name together other than the second when Buck walks in (read ran through the hospital corridors) and Eddie has only eyes for his partner. 👀❤

Afterwards it just the two of them, with a brief facetime to Christopher. I love that Eddie thanks Buck for staying with Chris, and Buck pretty much breaks down the logic behind the decision, like a true parent. - Christopher’s comfort came first in Buck’s eyes, and really that just demanded a hug right there.

“Is he doing ok?”

Buck’s response here, was very honest, a lot more honest than I expected, “better than me.” He said. Buck openly admits to Eddie, “I kinda lost it when I told him you got shot. I’m sorry I should have held it together.” To be honest, I’m very curious as to the ins and outs of Buck and Eddie’s friendship, especially during quarantine, they seem so much closer, a lot more open. More honest than you'd expect two male, straight, lead characters to be with their friends.

Buck would have played it down and shared only the essentials when it’s anybody else. With Eddie he openly saying here, in his own way, ‘I was terrified, and heartbroken, and ‘couldn’t imagine my world without you.’ - ‘I couldn’t function with a clear head.’ - ‘all my masks were shattered.’

“You were there for him when I couldn’t be, that’s what matters.” Eddie knows, buck, he understands him better than anyone, he’s telling him here in his own way that it’s okay, and he loves him just the way he is - it was his way to reassure Buck that he was doing just fine.

But Buck’s “Still I think it might have been better for him if I was the one who got shot.” - Eddie looked like he was ready to get up and smack some sense into Buck.

I want to point out that Buck’s response to Eddie being hurt or in danger is nowhere near the same as his response to anyone else in danger. Case in point in 4x14 is Bobby, he is inside, probably injured, in a fire with a gunman - if it was Eddie, Buck would have waited 0.1 seconds before he disappeared back into the flames to help Eddie.

With Bobby, he was calm, cool, calculated, he knew what Athena would do because that’s exactly what he would have done if it had been Eddie and he is ready with helpful details and a plan. He wants to go with her, but doesn’t argue when she says no.

Eddie is Buck’s Bobby, and it reflects all throughout this episode, and I think I had some parallels pointed out in 4x13 too. So I don’t know what scripts Tim reads or if we’re all watching the same show but buddie exists and thriving as far as I’m concerned.

Buck is also the one to pick Eddie up at the hospital - he tells him that the nurse is getting his meds and discharge papers ready, which means that Buck did all that process, he was busy getting Eddie discharged. (Take a moment to soak it in.)😌

Eddie sits Buck down to talk, to be honest this talk went pretty much the way I expected it.

Eddie explains why he had his will updated, and that Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if anything happens to Eddie. - I love that after all this time, sweet Buck is still surprised.

He asks if Eddie didn’t need his consent for this and Eddie’s reply is: “My attorney said you could refuse.”

I also love, that even shell-shocked, Buck knows that Eddie knows him “You know I wouldn’t.”

And Eddie assures him that he does in fact know Buck, and he knows that Buck loves Christopher as much as Eddie does “I know you wouldn’t.”

(”I had to do it.” - “Yeah, I know you did.” this was a call back to 4x05 where Eddie understood why Buck did what he did. And knowing what we know now, I can assume that even though Eddie understood and forgave Buck, he didn’t have to like it.)

“No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you.” - call back to 3x03 anyone?

“There’s no one I trust with my son more than you.” - and Eddie proves it time and again.

And here he is basically giving Buck permission to give hell to his parents or anyone who tries to take Christopher away from His Buck. - And I love it!! 🤗❤

Buck, smart, handsome guy that he is, asks the right question again - “Why are you just telling me now?”

“Because Evan.” That first name that even took Buck by surprise, because Eddie only ever called him Buck, to our knowledge anyway. - Eddie was talking to Evan Buckley, not Buck, and yes they are two separate entities living inside one hunky firefighter. - This is Eddie saying, I know you’re frayed around the edges, I know I’m asking for a lot right now but I need you to hear me.

“You came in here the other day and you said it would have been better if you who were the one who was shot,” and I think for Eddie, who was lying on that firetruck floor bleeding out, and his only concern was that Buck may have been hurt, that was the worst thing Buck could have said.

“you act like you’re expandable but you’re wrong.”

Eddie has been where Buck is at that moment, losing his wife, watching his best friend nearly die time and again. - Really at this point Eddie just wants him safe, and if telling him about Christopher is what will do the trick, then he is not above playing dirty.

Eddie is telling Buck, you are my partner, you are Christopher's second parent, I love you, Christopher loves you, I don’t know what I’d do without you. - Because Eddie has been without Buck before and he was completely lost. - And that’s before they became even more intertwined as they are now.

I love the second before Buck and Eddie enter, Eddie’s house, before Buck opens the door, Eddie looks like he’s steeling himself to get in and Buck has a knowing grin on his face, somewhere between ‘ready?’ and ‘they’re happy you’re back be nice.’ 👀😂

I hated the jump forward, but everyone standing on the roof looking good and Eddie with those sunglasses? wow!! 🥵🤩

This was an all out buddie episode, and I was totally there for it!! I really hope for many more, because these two give me life!!

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #LIs who?#christopher diaz #buck is christopher’s second dad #it's pretty much canon now #buddie and bathena parallels #call back #9-1-1 4x14 #9 1 1 on fox #9-1-1 on fox #9 1 1 spoilers #❤❤❤

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punksarahreese · 4 years

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WASH: taking a bath with Ava to help calm her down.

This took FOREVER but it’s long so <3

So this is anxious!ava and is a continuation of this oneshot, so it takes place during 3x18

CW: death mention, shooting tw, violence tw, PTSD, panic attacks, dissociation

***

"Ava."

"Love, you said you wouldn’t fall asleep."

"I’m not carrying you, Ava."

Ava whined as her arguably too short nap was interrupted by her girlfriend’s soft voice in her ear. Of course, Sarah was her favourite interruption so she didn’t mind too much, but she was just so tired.

"So whiny," Sarah teased as she leaned across Ava to unbuckle her seatbelt, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her own shoulder.

"C’mon, let’s get you inside."

Ava had begrudgingly opened her eyes, rubbing at them sleepily, and Sarah thought she looked downright adorable like that.

She didn’t complain when Ava’s arms wrapped around her neck, leaning heavily on her girlfriend as she helped her out of the vehicle. They walked to the apartment complex like that, Ava using Sarah as support because her brain was too fuzzy to focus.

She stumbled a little as she forgot about the step leading to the lobby, apologizing to Sarah when she almost dragged her onto the floor.

"It’s okay, Ava," she promised as her arm tightened around her waist to support her more. Ava didn’t register much after that, just the squeaking of shoes on ugly linoleum and the harsh fluorescent lighting she hated so much. Everything sounded way too much, felt like it was all drilling into her skull, but at the same time she just felt numb.

"Sarah," Ava mumbled as she let her girlfriend lead her into their apartment, "Too much."

"Too much what, Aves?"

"I don’t know," she replied after a moment of hesitation, blinking at her in confusion, "Lots of blood."

"I know, you mentioned that," Sarah reminded her patiently. She set their bags down and then offered her hand to her girlfriend, "Bath or just bed?"

"Bath... feel icky."

"Alright, bathtime it is," Sarah concluded and gently tugged her in the direction of their bathroom. She let Ava climb up to sit on the counter, one of her favourite places to sit for some reason, while she got things ready. She started the bath, making sure to add some of her favourite lavender Epsom salts to ease her mind a bit and turning the hot water tap almost all the way on. Ava was always running a bit cold and hated lukewarm baths, so she insisted the bathroom be full of steam before she even thought of undressing.

The woman in question had been silent the whole time, swinging her legs a little but jumping every time her heel accidentally hit the drawers in the counter. Sarah watched her for a minute, noting that she was still zoning out for a while before seemingly remembering where she was. Dissociation was always iffy, since it was so subjective and the person wasn’t always able to understand or explain what was going on. Sarah had seen it in Ava enough to know how to help her, but it was still overwhelming and worrying to see happen to the woman she loved.

"Ava?" She called softly, walking over to catch her attention. The blonde blinked harshly for a second before looking at Sarah, smiling weakly.

"Hi."

"Hey, pretty girl," that always made Ava smile and Sarah liked to use her favourite pet names to help ground her. As expected, Ava’s smile grew a little and her eyes focused completely, letting Sarah help her off the counter.

"Bath time?"

"Mhm," Sarah agreed and tugged gently on the hem of Ava’s scrubs, "Want help?"

Ava suddenly seemed to notice that she was still in her least favourite fabric and nodded quickly.

Sarah chuckled a little at that, "Alright, arms up then."

***

Sarah would have liked to say it took more persuasion for her to join Ava in the bath. That would be a lie, though, because she caved the second the older woman asked softly.

She knew the close contact calmed Ava’s nerves, especially as she leaned back into Sarah’s body in the warm water, safely in her arms. It was a nice moment of unadulterated closeness too, definitely needed after such a traumatic work day.

"Feel better?" Sarah broke the comfortable silence to ask gently, running a hand up Ava’s arm to make sure she wasn’t getting cold. The blonde just nodded, her damp hair sticking to flushed cheeks a little when she turned to look back at her girlfriend.

"Thank you," she certainly seemed more alert now, despite her eyes drooping heavily with exhaustion. She was overwhelmed, burnt out, but thankfully no panic rose to the surface despite the events of the day.

"Anything for you," Sarah promised as she brushed a drop off water off Ava’s cheek, "You deserve to rest."

"So do you," Ava reminded her and it made her girlfriend smile; even when she was just now coming out of a dissociative episode she still wanted to return the love and care Sarah gave.

"I’m resting," the brunette replied, "I feel quite relaxed right now."

"Good," Ava sighed and slouched back into Sarah, her head bonking lightly against her shoulder. Sarah laughed at the dramatic movement, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. Even in the overpowering lavender scented water, Ava managed to smell like lilacs and coconut; a combination that her girlfriend long since had associated with her. It was more calming than any amount of chamomile or lavender to Sarah, making her feel at home.

They lapsed back into the comfortable silence, to the point where Ava had begun to doze off again. She was so tired, Sarah frowned, she really needed some time off to recharge before she burnt out completely.

"Baby," she spoke quietly to not startle her from her rest, "If you’re going to sleep why don’t we get ready for bed first. The water’s getting cold."

Ava mumbled something that sounded like agreement, shimmying out of Sarah’s arms and standing up, shakily supporting herself of the counter to get out of the tub. She helped Sarah out too, grabbing her favourite purple towel for her. Sarah smiled warmly and let Ava wrap the soft thing around her, mussing up her water-darkened hair affectionately.

The next few minutes were had in quiet as they went to their bedroom, the only sound coming from the fan Ava always had to have on for background noise. Ava had mindlessly grabbed a pair of boxers and one of Sarah’s sweaters, clothes she considered "safe" for bad sensory days. She then plopped down on the bed, idly watching as Sarah searched for her own pyjamas because she wanted a specific pair.

Sarah felt eyes on her as she changed and when she turned around she indeed found her girlfriend staring at her with an unreadable expression.

"What’s up, Aves?" Sarah asked after she had changed, tugging the long pyjama shirt down to fit loosely on her body.

Ava shrugged, eyes a little unfocused as she tried to gather her thoughts. Sarah came over to the bed and sat beside her, taking Ava’s hand gently in her own. She wasn’t sure what that meant, since she had seemed so lucid moments before. Sarah wasn’t quite sure if her mind was still warping her senses or if she was just tired.

"Anything we need to talk about?" Sarah prompted, knowing her girlfriend was doing her best given the circumstances but worried she was hiding something.

"Just..." Ava sighed and looked at her, "Do you think he’s... o-okay?"

"Who?"

"T-the little boy," her voice was thick with emotion as she replied, "He- The baby we got to too... too late."

"Oh, Ava..."

"He was so l-little," she murmured, "We didn’t... I never s-saw his family. Do... do you think they know?"

"I..." Sarah sighed shakily because she knew there was no way to make this better, "I’m sure Maggie found his family, yeah."

When Ava looked at her again, Sarah wanted to cry. Her girlfriend had such a pained expression, her eyes filled with tears but still partially unfocused. It was almost as if she could see the gears turning in Ava’s head, trying to distinguish reality from whatever turmoil was going on in her mind.

"I keep..." Ava took a breath, "I keep thinking about what if it had been Owen. Or what if... it was o-our baby... W-what would it be like... to experience that kind of loss?"

Sarah looked at her in shock, not expecting that. Her and Ava had been together for a while, yeah, and there was no doubt in her mind that she was in love with her. She had imagined a future with Ava for a long time, found love and stability in the other woman that she had lacked for so long. Ava was her future, undoubtedly. Still, Sarah wasn’t a maternal person and Ava never seemed like one either. Yeah she was so caring and loving, but she was so invested in her job and life she never came off as someone who wanted to settle down and have kids. They had certainly never talked about children yet; Sarah didn’t even know it was something Ava thought about.

Ava seemed to notice the reaction because her cheeks reddened considerably, which Sarah always found adorably out of character for her. She was the only one who seemed to get that reaction out of her girlfriend and normally she would tease her about it. This time though, she didn’t, the tension was much too fragile to break it like that.

The blonde mumbled something that Sarah couldn’t quite pick up, so she asked Ava to repeat herself.

"Sorry... I-I’m not making sense. F-forget I said that."

"Ava, baby," the younger woman squeezed her hand reassuringly, "We... we can talk about that stuff when you’re feeling better, if you want to. Until then, I get what you mean. Looking at things from the family’s perspective is scary, I can’t imagine how hard it is for parents who go to work every day not knowing if something like this would happen."

"Yeah..." Ava shook her head as if trying to clear her thoughts, "It’s just horrible... there was so much blood today... that boy was so little."

"I know," Sarah agreed, "He didn’t deserve this."

Ava’s hand was trembling in hers, making her girlfriend look at her in concern. The blonde just sighed heavily, trying to hide behind her curtain of hair. Sarah could still see the tears though, caught the way her lip was quivering and her shoulders began shaking slightly.

"Hey... Ava," Sarah was trying her hardest not to cry too at that point, "Come here."

Ava let herself be pulled into a tight hug, immediately clutching onto Sarah’s shoulders as if she was her only anchor. It broke her heart to see her girlfriend like this so often, especially since it was such a major contrast to Ava’s behaviour back when they first met. She was almost always dissociative back then, suppressing her feelings as a defence mechanism even though it was majorly detrimental to her health. This kind of reaction to stress seemed so much worse in contrast, but Sarah knew it was all part of the diagnosis and recovery process.

"I-I’m sorry," Ava’s voice was thick from crying and muffled by Sarah’s damp curls, "This is... I’m so dramatic."

"You’re not," Sarah promised, "This is normal. You had a long day, Ava. You were dissociative for hours, you’re allowed to cry, especially when it hits this hard afterwards."

"I was?"

Sarah smiled sadly at her, brushing tears off her cheeks, "You don’t remember?"

"I do... kinda," Ava shook her head, "Fuzzy."

"Always is," her girlfriend concluded, "But you got through it."

"And made a fool of myself..."

"Absolutely not," Sarah said immediately, "You’re never a fool. You’re brilliant, Ava; sometimes your brain just can’t keep up with everything at once. You just need to adapt."

Ava pouted at her, which she did when she was either too tired to argue or unsure of how to reply. Sarah just smiled a little, smoothing down her damp hair before speaking again.

"Today was a lot. I know you don’t like the ED all too much on big traumas, but you did so well. You know that, right?"

"I just..." Ava shrugged, "I did my best."

"Well your best is pretty damn impressive, Doctor Bekker," Sarah mused, "I’d say you’ve earned yourself a break."

"And what about you, Doctor Reese?" Ava shot back weakly, "You actually practiced trauma medicine today. For a psych resident I’d say that’s just as impressive."

"You say that like I wasn’t almost an ED resident."

"Pathology is not trauma," Ava rolled her eyes, "I could not see you cooped up in a lab like that. You’d lose your mind."

"Well lucky for both of us I’m a psychiatrist now then, huh?"

The banter had ended up bringing a genuine smile to Ava’s face, which was very reassuring. She still looked exhausted though, her eyes half-lidded as if she was having trouble keeping them open.

“Tired?” Sarah asked, as if it wasn’t obvious. They were both sleep deprived and in need of a rest, especially Ava after having done multiple back to back surgeries that day.

“Yeah,” her words were interrupted by a yawn, “Bedtime?”

Sarah nodded, getting off the bed in order to pull back the blankets. Ava didn’t even bother standing up, just rolled over to her side of the bed and shimmied under the covers. That made her girlfriend laugh, glad to have a lighthearted moment after everything.

Sarah usually slept on her stomach and she tended to take up more than half the bed in the process. She wasn’t one for cuddling, not at night anyway; during the day she was a clingy as can be. That night, however, she didn’t want any space between them. She knew Ava needed her, whether she’d admit it or not, and she wanted to be there. She needed Ava too, though, especially after the events of the day. Some things hit her just as hard but she tried so hard to be strong for her girlfriend that she forgot about her own anxiety. Her PTSD may have been controlled, but it still snuck up on her in the quieter times. When she didn’t have a distraction, could dwell on her thoughts, it hit the hardest. it didn’t help that the reality of what happened at the park that day and knowing how many victims there had been was finally sinking it.

So many people died.

All because of that man. One man who got so mad, so frustrated due to his mental illness, that he killed his wife. Then he killed countless others.

How much did he think about it before he did it? Was he calculated or did it all happen so spur of the moment? Did he feel remorse? Was there any emotions to be felt? Or was he just as apathetic as...

Her father.

Psychopath.

“Ava?”

Her girlfriend hummed in response, clearly half asleep, but she still rolled over to face her. She felt bad for bothering her, when she was recovering from her own bad anxiety and deserved to rest. Sarah couldn’t help it though; she needed the reassurance.

“Hug?” Her voice was soft, slightly embarrassed, “Please?”

Familiar arms immediately wrapped around her, one tugging her closer by the waist while the other cradled her head gently. Sarah let herself be gently pulled into her embrace, melting into the comfort. It was her turn to cling, hiding her face in Ava’s chest as she let out a frustrated sigh.

“Sarah?”

“Sorry,” she mumbled, “I’m okay.”

“What’s wrong?”

Sarah shook her head, “Just... so much at once.”

Ava frowned at that, her own anxiety returning to gnaw at her stomach. This time it was because the woman she loved was clearly hurting, was probably feeling this way the whole time, and Ava was too dissociative to notice. She didn’t see any indication that this had bothered Sarah beyond her usually worry, even though common sense would dictate this a trigger for her.

“Darling,” Ava murmured in her ear, “Talk to me, please.”

“I just-“ she huffed at her own behaviour, “I hate feeling like this.”

“I know, trust me I know,” the other woman soothed, “It’s not fair. You know talking it out helps though, let me help.”

Sarah felt a gently hand comb through her hair, loosening knots in her curls and rubbing at her scalp. Ava knew how to keep her calm, ground her when it got bad. Just like she knew how to help Ava. Even if the other sometimes crashed after helping, they always managed to keep each other safe.

“I- The shooter,” Sarah started, “He... did he think about it? Did he feel any remorse?”

“I don’t know,” Ava said honestly, “What do you think?”

“I don’t want to think,” Sarah’s voice wavered, “My default thoughts cannot always be psychopathy. I cannot be a good psychologist if I’m always so accusatory.”

“Sarah,” Ava sighed, “In this case, it’s a valid thought. He hurt a lot of people. You know the possible diagnoses, don’t let your inherent bias make the diagnosis for you.”

“I hate this.”

“I know, but remember you’re a good psychiatrist, love; your trauma doesn’t change that.”

“I don’t wanna think about it,” Sarah whined, too overwhelmed to focus anymore. She had so many thoughts and they were all screaming at her. She couldn’t focus, didn’t want to. She knew it wasn’t real; couldn’t be real. Still, images of the shooter and what she imagined happened at the park raced through her head. Suddenly, he began morphing into her father. He was holding the gun, pointed at the ground, face splattered with blood. Ava was on the ground, bleeding and unresponsive just like so many victims she couldn’t save that day. Her father was laughing, taunting Sarah, promising that no one would ever be able to love her. She was too toxic, too much like him; undeserving of real love.

She couldn’t stop the sob that tore through her chest, making her head ache. Ava flinched at the sudden noise but only held her tighter, immediately trying to soothe Sarah when she noticed her panic.

“Sarah, you’re safe,” she promised as she rubbed her back, “You are safe and he can’t hurt you. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

“I-,” another sob shook her body, “He- you...”

“No, no, he didn’t,” the words were firm, “I’m right here. Whatever your brain is telling you is not real. I have you, Sarah, I’m not going to let go until you want me to.”

“I’m- he... I’m not l-like him,” Sarah was shaking like a leaf, “I’m not!”

“No, you’re not, darling. Oh, Sarah, you’re nothing like him.”

“But... he said- I...”

“Love, focus on me, okay?”

Sarah tried, she really did. She tried to open her eyes, to make out Ava’s sharp, regal features in the dimly lit room. She couldn’t though, her eyes were too watery and her chest ached; she just wanted it to end.

“Sarah,” hands cupped her cheeks, “Just listen, focus on my voice; let everything else go into the background.”

Sarah nodded weakly, tears still streaking down her cheeks as the intrusive thoughts tried to tear at her mind. She felt like she was suffocating, it hurt so bad, she hadn’t felt like this in ages. It should have stopped; she shouldn’t still feel like this.

“I’m right here,” Ava’s promise was repeated, “I know it’s hard but you need to remember it’s not real. You’re in our room, I’ve got you, and he can’t ever hurt you. You’re safe, Sarah.”

“Y-you...”

“I’m safe, he never hurt me and he never will. You’ve got me and I’ve got you, right?”

Sarah nodded rapidly, “R-right.”

“Good girl,” Ava’s voice was low in her ear as she hugged her a little closer, “Where are we, Sarah?”

Sarah hesitated a little as she tried to speak over the noise in her mind, “Home?”

“Mhm,” she hummed affirmatively, “In our safe home, and we’ve always been safe. Things are okay, Sarah, it’s all okay.”

“Today...”

“Today something very bad and unfortunate happened. I know it was scary, trust me I felt it too. We’re all safe though, and you dad was never involved.”

“No?”

Ava shook her head, “No, darling, he can’t hurt anyone ever again.”

“Promise?”

“Sarah, I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I-I know,” Sarah nodded, “You love me?”

Ava was a bit taken aback, but she knew the mental manipulation did this to her sometimes, “Absolutely.”

Sarah blinked rapidly to try and focus on her girlfriend’s face in the dark, searching for any sign of fallacy, “B-but... he said- and I...”

“Sarah Reese,” Ava spoke close to her ear, lips brushing her temple with each word, “I, Ava Bekker, am in love with you. I sincerely adore you and I never want you to believe otherwise. You deserve all my love and even more, okay?”

Sarah could help it when she sobbed again, this time in relief. Ava’s firm words seemed to have gotten through to her and she slumped into her girlfriend’s arms. Ava caught her, shushing her gently as she held her again. She could feel the rapid beating of her heart against her own chest, knowing Sarah’s body was working overtime due to the panic.

“Deep breaths,” she reminded, “I’ve got you.”

“Y-yeah,” Sarah nodded into her shoulder, “Got you...”

“You do,” Ava promised, “And I’m very grateful. We’re okay, baby; it’s all okay.”

The next few minutes passed in slow motion. Sarah’s adrenaline was still pumping through her body, making her feel like she had to run away. She stayed with Ava though, clinging to her tightly because she was the only constant in Sarah’s life she could trust. She was trying to follow Ava’s gentle breathing prompts, listening to her whispered reassurances with silent gratitude.

She was so sweet, so caring; Sarah didn’t deserve her.

“You absolute do,” Sarah didn’t realize she had said that out loud until Ava replied, “You deserve only love and happiness, Sarah. No question.”

The brunette fell silent, staring at her with a million unspoken apologies and thank you’s. Where would she be without Ava? Probably not in Chicago, that’s for sure.

“Breathe,” her girlfriend reminded as a kiss was dropped on her forehead, “Just relax, love.”

It took a little more reassurance and time before Sarah had relaxed completely in her arms. Slowly her breathing had returned to normal and her heart rate was a bit slower when Ava’s hand slipped to her wrist to check her pulse. Sarah looked exhausted, her mind finally letting go of the made up scenario that haunted her.

“Okay?”

Sarah nodded hesitantly, “Y-yeah.”

“Good,” Ava dipped her head to kiss her, only a tiny peck really; but it was more than that. It was a promise; a reminder; an oath. Sarah was loved, so very important, and Ava would always be there for her.

“Thank you.”

“Anything,” Ava replied immediately, “You did the same for me.”

Sarah smiled weakly, “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”

“Trauma bonding,” Ava joked lightheartedly, “I love you, Sarah.”

“I love you too. You’re the best.”

Ava smiled at the little pout Sarah gave her, “I do try, darling.”

Sarah nuzzled into her shoulder a little and then spoke again, “Sleepy...”

Ava immediately gathered Sarah in her arms, shifting their position so her girlfriend was sharing her pillow. Sarah snuggled down, her mind being overtake by exhaustion as her adrenaline crashed. She felt lips press against her forehead before that gorgeous accent was the last thing she heard as unconsciousness overtook her.

“Rest, my love; I will always protect you.”

#welcome to the trauma bonding club reesker are the co-presidents #this is so unedited lol #its 3 am i need rest #chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #anxious!ava #4 mg ativan #my aus #my-writing #death tw #shooting tw #ptsd tw #panic attack tw #dissociation tw #chicago med one shot #chicago med fanfiction

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ingu · 4 years

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hi there! loving your "Buck is Eddie's love interest" gif series with the tropes. Wondering if you might also have an "Eddie as Buck's love interest" set planned? I think you have a great eye for finding and exemplifying the tropes at work in the narrative. thanks!

Thank you so much! I do have something in the works atm, though I still need to go back through Season 1 to get a better grasp on Buck and Abby moments that would best illustrate the points I hope to make. Buck is a bit of a harder one to map for the main reason that his arc isn’t nearly as clearly mapped out and resolved as Eddie’s (arguably) is. It doesn’t help that we don’t have a Buck Begins or much of anything on his past. But I think there’s definitely enough scenes and moments to work with. I just have to find the time to put it together. :)

Some thoughts under the cut because I love these boys and may as well ramble a bit at the opportunity?

I think the most obvious thing pointing to Eddie being Buck’s love interest is the way their arcs complement each other. In the series, one of Buck’s most well established fears is his fear of abandonment. It's hinted at from the first episode but especially driven home in season 3 (in 3x16, for example). And it’s really remarkable considering that Eddie was introduced as a character who is known for abandoning those who needed him. Eddie’s entire life and marriage collapsed because he kept running away, and he’s shown as someone who is deeply aware of the damage he did, and trying to make up for his past and to move on and grow as a person. And even at the first level, these two arcs match perfectly, as for Eddie to develop and mature, he has to learn to demonstrate courage and commitment to those important to him. And in turn, for Buck to grow, he has to learn to recognise his own value and worth to others, and he needs to see that others are willing to stand beside him when things get tough.

It’s what it made it so significant when the show chose for Eddie to be the one to drag Buck out of his post-injury slump. Because at this point Buck is at his most vulnerable, and it is the moment that would justify any other characters drifting apart. But Eddie is shown to consciously make that effort. A character who used to run away the moment things got too hard was the one who went and showed Buck that he still stood beside him, that Buck still had a friend in Eddie (and Christopher), and that he wasn’t being left behind. And it’s such a beautiful progression for both of their arcs.

Another more obvious sign of course is the fact that Buck thinks he has nothing in his life aside from his job. It’s in part what drives his character angst for the entirety of season 3, all the while he is slotted into every possible scene with Eddie to show the viewer that he’s actually already part of Eddie’s family whether he believes it or not. And again, this so perfectly echoes Eddie’s own search for a co-parent and his desire to complete his family again. From the start of season 2, it’s Eddie’s aunt who remarks to Buck how Eddie struggles being alone, and in that same episode, Buck shows himself as the answer to that loneliness.

For the two seasons, the writers have only built up this family unit more and more. It’s why so many fans found it ridiculous that Buck didn’t say yes when Eddie invited him to Christopher’s sleepover. Buck has more than his job, he isn’t alone, he has Eddie and Christopher. The show has set it all up perfectly, and all that’s left is for Buck to realise that fact for himself.

911 has a habit of using failed love interests to reflect the fears and flaws of the male heroes. The thing that strikes me about Shannon and Eddie, and the way that relationship developed and resolved, was that Eddie wasn’t ever going to escape the mistakes he made as Eddie 1.0. With Shannon, he would always have been a husband who ran away from his struggling wife and young child when they needed them most. And in turn, Shannon also ran away, and wallowed in guilt for years. The trust they had between them was so mangled and broken, they may never have been able to truly move on, with the shadow of their past decisions hanging over them. And at the end of it all, Eddie was left feeling inadequate, not good enough, suffering still from the consequences of Eddie 1.0

Buck and Abby, in turn, echoes this to a certain extent that was really only established/acknowledged in 3x18. With Abby, Buck entered into the relationship as Buck 1.0. And no matter how happy they are, how much Buck grows, he will always be haunted by the man he used to be. And this is in turn what Abby hints at and reflects when she properly broke things off with Buck in the s3 finale. With Buck, Abby will always be afraid of falling back into the person she used to be, the person she was not proud of being. And by extension, Buck carried that same stigma with him, the fear and danger of falling back into Buck 1.0, or worse, of not fully maturing into his properly-realised self, because of how eager he is to not fall back and do the wrong thing again. Abby knew him first as who he used to be, and unless they leave each other behind, that history can always come back to haunt them again.

And Eddie, being introduced when he was, only ever knew Buck 2.0 - someone who was devoted, loving, endlessly caring for others. And in turn, Buck has only ever known Eddie 2.0 - a responsible and loving father who fought for the people he loved no matter what. It’s telling, in a sense, that they put Eddie’s mistakes in his past, instead of letting it unfold in real time. He could just as easily have been a character who abandoned his wife and child in El Paso and moved to LA to ‘pay the bills’. But he isn’t Eddie 1.0, he’s Eddie 2.0. Buck and Eddie are set up to meet each other right at the cusp of each other’s fresh starts.

And that’s what the lawsuit conflict really drives home in terms of development, is that it’s the first time Eddie and Buck truly glimpsed each others flaws, and the echoes of their 1.0 selves, in a way that hurt each other. Eddie saw a Buck who acted (out of pain, but still) selfishly without regard for how his actions affected and hurt others. And in turn, Buck saw Eddie who turned to avoidance to an extent that it hurt another (and toward violence, but that’s a whole other thing to unpack).

Then, they reconciled. They saw those ugly parts of each other, they saw those flaws, those imperfections, and they told each other - hey, I forgive you. I care about you. I believe in you.

And all of these things... that’s where this pairing comes from. They have grown as people, and you see them both toward the end of that growth, seeing how far they’ve both come. You have Buck who is desperate for family, for connection, for someone to love. And in turn, Eddie is someone who is desperate to be loved, to have someone see him as who he is beyond the mistakes he’s made, and to be enough.

And, well, they complete each other.

#buddie #mind mumblings #replies #anonymous #m: meta #f: 911 #p: buddie #this has turned into a pseudo ship manifesto #i had a lot of feelings?#i don't know why the readmore has broken

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snowbellewells · 4 years

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Self Promo Sunday: “The Simplest Touch”

Today’s selection is an older one shot I wrote during 3b, back when Emma was still fighting hard against that attraction and connection she definitely felt with her pirate, still not sure she wanted to make the strange little town of Storybrooke (and all that came with it) her permanent home. There all of these beautiful little quiet moments between CS in that stretch of the show, and particularly in 3x18 - that almost-touch of Killian’s hand at Emma’s back! - which really prompted this. It’s pretty much canon compliant up to that point as well.

The reason I’ve truly chosen it for this Sunday’s Self-Promo though is that I shamelessly want to show all of you and sing the praises of the fic art to accompany it that was made for my this week by @searchingwardrobes. <3 Thank you so much for this lovely story cover art Melanie! I’m so flattered at the thought and how wonderfully it fits the story I had in mind.

Summary: In the moments between scenes in 3x18's "Bleeding Through" there is more brewing under the surface for Emma and her pirate than they yet know how to express...

Notes: This little one shot fits right into show canon during episode 3x18, and more than being divergent or AU, it’s missing moments in a way - or at least, it’s the thoughts and feelings behind some of the quieter, tiny moments we saw onscreen. I was attempting some stylistic things in this, and to switch from Emma to Killian’s point of view at various moments in that episode. I still think the result turned out pretty well. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

"The Simplest Touch"

by: @snowbellewells

He acts as though he is cursed.

Emma Swan doesn't understand what has changed in the pirate captain, but something is different. His eyes haven't twinkled mischievously at her these last few days, and she suddenly realizes how much she liked the playful attention, how it made her cheeks flush and her heart beat fast, even as she rolled her eyes and pushed him away. His innuendos are missing from their most recent interactions, and though Emma did nothing to encourage his outrageous attentions when he was lobbing them at her constantly, she feels strangely bereft now that they are gone. When he does toss her a line now, it feels empty without the lascivious heat and intent, and she comes close to begging Hook to tell her what is wrong, what has changed…why he no longer seems to want her.

Thinking back over the past week, Emma cannot come up with any new disagreements they have had, insults or slights directed at Hook. There is no way for her to question him the way she wants without revealing just how much she really cares, how much he does mean to her. Instead, she practices her magic, making sure she can protect him – and all of those she loves – prompts and playfully needles him while trying not to let his blackened mood and purposeful distance sting…and she hopefully watches and waits.

^^^00000000000000000000000000000000000^^^^

She touches his stump as if it is the most normal thing in the world.

It nearly steals his breath, heat rising unbidden within him at the sensation of her fingers lightly gripping the leather that covers his violently truncated wrist. So many years – literal ages – have passed since anyone made to hold what was once his left hand, and the sensation of warmth and comfort would risk bringing him to his knees if he were not already seated at Regina's table. Most avoid getting anywhere near his left arm, and especially the prosthetic hook and brace, but his Swan has surprised him once again and claimed even more of his affection.

Killian Jones, notorious pirate captain and erstwhile villain of the realms, is holding his breath at the mere pressure of a lost princess's fingers, but he cannot help the reaction. For one horrified second, he had wanted to shy away from her, pull his arm from her grasp for fear she would make contact with the amputated limb and show disgust, but he had held himself steady, and now he is praying that she doesn't let go. Emma prompts inexplicable reactions within him: thaws parts of him long frozen in hatred and anger and makes him want to feel. Her simplest touch can do things to him that the most powerful magician surely could not accomplish. This though, is new and even more intimate. Her gentle clasp around his brace, that he swears he can feel completely even through the heavy leather, shows no fear, no horror or repulsion, and speaks to him of nothing more than pure, blessed acceptance. His devotion to her swells even higher – when he could have sworn he would never be able to love her more than he already did.

Her fingers clasp just a bit tighter, holding on that tiniest bit more firmly, almost as though she wants to stroke his skin. Her eyes lift from where they have followed her fingers' movements to meet his gaze. She gives him a wavering half-smile, in spite of the chaos and dead witch summoning about to begin, nods to him slightly, and he simply knows. They are in this together now, and they will be from now on…

^^^^0000000000000000000000000000^^^^

He had nearly guided her down the stairs with a hand at the small of her back.

Emma sucks in a sharp breath at the tingling sensation he causes with his good hand wavering just shy of touching her until he snatches it away. Whatever has been troubling Hook is still present; he retreats just before making physical contact, and it has the effect of making Emma feel starved for his touch. She doesn't understand the reversal that seems to have taken place; her following him, being drawn to him, and Hook pulling away from her, but he seems to have decided he is some sort of poison – a threat – the way he so studiously avoids contact when always before he has been creeping into her personal space.

They are preparing to leave Regina's after the failed séance, to make another patrol seeking signs of the Wicked Witch. She wants to pull him after her, drag him off into the woods where they can find some true privacy, not be overheard, and she can demand that he explain what is troubling him. The near-touch was tantalizing enough in its assumed closeness and almost possessive nature. The pirate captain, for all his dangerous rebel tendencies, is an old-fashioned gentleman when all is said and done. The chivalry in his nature still sometimes steals the breath of a formerly unwanted, ignored, orphan Lost Girl. Moments like this one, where they are about to go out seeking danger again, show her anew that he is right here at her back, intending to guard it with all that he has.

She brushes her hair back impatiently from her face, stealing a quick glance over her shoulder at Hook before turning again to precede him down the steps. There are too many words she wants to say to him for the company they have and the task they are attempting, but she wants him to know that she is onto him, she sees what he is doing, and she wants to help. He wouldn't allow her to be alone in a world of lies, and so now she won't let him drown in whatever lie he is determinedly keeping.

Her skin burns with longing for the touch he almost gave unthinkingly, and then robbed them both of. She is not accustomed to letting someone else take care of her; it is a concession, a weakness that has always made her distinctly uncomfortable. Wanting to allow him so much of her now is both frightening and a long-awaited relief. They will fix whatever has been marred – she will not leave him alone until he tells her his secret – so that she has the chance to experience how good letting him in could be.

^^^^0000000000000000000000000^^^

Killian knows that he has been cursed.

If he had thought there was any loophole, any way to lessen the pain for what has been lost, he sees now that those were vain hopes.

He watches Emma darkly as he broods in his seat at one of the booths in Granny's Diner. She seems so light, so happy, since she has just made a mug of cocoa with cinnamon appear before her at the counter, and he wants to smile, to chuckle along with her, and celebrate her unparalleled brilliance when she magically makes it disappear and reappear in front of him. He does not wish to darken her mood or spoil her moment, but he cannot bring much joy to the surface either.

Cringing at himself, Killian wants to stab his hook into his own chest when he snaps at her for playfully stealing the weapon with her powers. The mischievous light in her eyes flickers fitfully, and she stops teasing him, lowering into the other bench at his claimed table. She starts to reach out, to take his hand, and he wants so badly to meet her halfway, to pull her close, to rain kisses all over her face and tell her everything. Knowing that he can do neither seems almost too cruel to bear, but he cannot give in. The risk is too great; he will not have anyone else he loves hurt because he fails them.

Something in Emma's expression makes him think she knows, or has guessed, more than he realized, and he lets himself dare to hope that she understands his fear. She cocks her head, raising an eyebrow at him curiously and blowing out a tense breath. Finally, she comes out and asks him beseechingly what is wrong. He leans forward, literally biting his tongue so as not to let it all pour from him in a rush.

Then Belle is there interrupting breathlessly, and Emma snaps back to attention, a true leader through and through. He cannot help watching her in awe, drawn to stay near her; despite the pain it causes, he cannot separate from her. He watches her make up her mind and stand from the table. Following her, he cannot help believing in this tough, street smart princess, and hoping that there may still be a cure for Killian Jones – a chance for redemption at the touch of Emma Swan.

#self promo sunday #cs one shot #ouat 3b missing moments ff #the simplest touch #cs canon compliant #gorgeous cs fic art #thank you a million @searchingwardrobes

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yurireview · 5 years

Text

Lena Luthor feelings for Supergirl made her get together with James

It was a painful thing but I could see again all season 3 including the Lames scenes and I can give a good review.

Even though the Lames was super forced and although 99% of the fandom felt disgusted ... in the Third season it fits into the narrative of our favorite girls and helped highlight the Supercorp dynamic ... I will explain why:

As you know the Third Season of Supergirl is where there was more tension between Lena and Supergirl, because this season Lena and Kara did not interact much there were so many problems of trust, misunderstandings and Lena felt very unfairly pressured.

In season 3 she went through a lot of stress and sadness especially with her friend Sam and the heroine Supergirl.

Remember at the beginning in 3x1 where Lena builds her a statue, with the events of Season 2 she thought she had a bond of trust with Supergirl and it is understandable, in those 4 chapters Lena had normal interactions with everyone... until she reached the chapter 3x5.

When Lena was about to die, Supergirl appeared and rescued her ... the highlight is that this event made Lena very happy, because Supergirl chose to save her instead of saving the entire city ... it was something very important between them... then The first person Lena sees was James who, in spite of everything, is the one who is trusting her ... besides that Kara left her in the Sisterzone at that time.

Then his most notable appearance was with James where he focuses his confidence on her in 3x9 where they just kissed, but more than that Lena does not take much attention, until we reach 3x12 where everything changes.

In chapter 12 of that season I think one of the funniest interactions comes where she mentions her "dream" and as she deliberately puts herself in a state of denial that Kara is Supergirl (as Lex said) ... made me remember a little as Lois refused to accept that Clark was Superman

Then comes the party to catch the villains where Mon El appears next to Supergirl and Lena's expression to that is incredible ... I must say that the narrative of the series always stands out as Lena is well aware of Supergirl

Lena in 3x13-3x14-3x15 3x16 is dedicated to her friend Sam short scenes but of great emotional bond.

The most remarkable of these chapters is that Lena is mentally exhausted, sad and is alone (the only one who appeared was James)

Lena is human and in those moments Kara who is her best friend, had almost abandoned her and really had no one to hold on to ... just for that she appreciated James

His "dynamic" was never about love or attraction, but that this was the one that was at least on her side unlike the others ... that's why in chapter 3x17 It was one of the toughest for Lena because Supergirl and everyone They were turning their backs on her because she had Kryptonite and what hurt her most was Supergirl rejection.

Then Supergirl did not want Lena to accompany her, something that offended Lena a lot, but they both still fight ... but still the whole encounter with Sam where again Supergirl was willing to sacrifice herself for Lena, which made things better

At least for that moment Supergirl confidence made Lena happy ... no matter if it was a minimal gesture, this made the two girls happy.

Lena was happy after that talk with Supergirl ... until her encounter with James.

James tells her the truth about who is the guardian and honestly, her reaction was interesting because she really didn't care about James's secret, she was more interested in the fact that he had stolen her things ... but when she found out that Supergirl lied to her, really broke her heart

After that, he comforts her and she spends the night with James (who honestly was more of a consolation than an act of love and the narrative makes it clear)

Then we have the 3x18-3x19 where she again has fights with Supergirl and is as evident as the two of them care a lot as the other perceives her (remembering the fear she had when thinking that Supergirl could hate her, I love that Lena defends her posture )

Many mention that Supergirl was an idiot with Lena and they are very right ... but that was the point, that constant rejection caused a lot of effect on Lena

The funny thing about all that is when Supergirl wants to make the passes...but Lena rejects her (where she almost makes Supergirl cry) is how Lena didn't realize that every Supergirl action towards her affects her a lot and because that she is very offended every time Supergirl distrusts her...she has very strange emotions towards Supergirl that she herself has not noticed.

Honestly it is not difficult to deduce that Lena felt more than friendship for Supergirl

As you could understand dear fandom of Supergirl, Lena reason for being with James was mainly because of the damage that Supergirl did to her and the lack of support from her best friend Kara along with the stress and sadness of the situation ... all this it's understandable.

I will make a review of the dynamics of Lena and Supergirl in season 4 but I will tell you this:

While her bond between Lena and Supergirl-Kara increased ... her bond with James diminished to the point that their relationship (born not of love, but to console herself) was no longer necessary for her.

I hope you liked the review ... until next time and remember (Supercorp is the best ship)

#supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #arrowverse

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officiallallorona · 4 years

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AOS thoughts 3x08-3x18

the latest in opinions no one asked for

Hunter’s hacker persona when they break into the ATCU is fantastic. Love Daisy feeding him hacker jargon as Mack pretends to be the FBI hotline. Lincoln looks impressed af and honestly me too. The team just doing classic spy hijinks is my fave.

Oof. I KNEW Rosalind and Coulosn wouldn’t end well. I was hoping they’d just have a “sorry it didn’t work out” sitch that ended with her put on a bus. But of course they fridged her. *eyeroll* It’s not as if Team Coulson doesn’t already have 1000 valid reasons to kill Ward.

A taste of DIRECTOR MACK this early? In season 3? Be still my beating heart.

God, these Malick’s stay annoying, don’t they? Although I think Nathaniel will still prove to be the most annoying.

Fitz is so SOFT for Jemma, and it’s really cute. Homeboy’s heart is breaking trying to help her with Will but he’ll just do whatever. Fitzsimmons is still far from being “the draw” for me like they are with most of the fandom, but I do enjoy them.

Kinda sad they killed Will off. He had the makings of being a good character. Now it just seems like he was contrived Fitzsimmons angst that they neutralized immediately.

Omg OF COURSE Hunter tried an Inhuman fish oil pill. That’s one of those little character things just thrown in that I love.

I’ve seen the Spy’s Goodbye in GIF form but I didn’t expect it to hit so hard? I nearly cried! I already miss Bobbi and Hunter so much.

Oooh! Surpise Bethany Joy Lenz! Is Haley James Scott here to fuck shit up?

I have a lot of thoughts about 3x15 in particular because I love this damn episode.

I love Coulson having trouble not calling Daisy “Skye.” The fact that he slipped up for the first time in awhile in this ep when telling her to come home really emphasizes their father/daughter relationship. Skye is the girl he found out in a van and “adopted.” So that’s who he thinks of when she’s going off into a more dangerous than usual situation.

Great job, effects people. Those fleshy skeletons Hive leaves behind genuinely squick me out.

Fitz explains the concept of space-time SO MUCH BETTER than anyone in Endgame did.

May and Andrew have such a beautiful, tragic story. Ming-Na Wen and Blair Underwood’s acting is just top notch.

Oh, Lincoln has indeed grown on me. I no longer find him boring. I still don’t think that he’s Daisy’s soulmate or anything (I think they’re both too similar in letting their emotions get the best of them that they wouldn’t have worked long-term even if he hadn’t died), but I do enjoy them. And they are sweet/helping each other grow even among the chaos.

Fitzsimmons in the “snowy” ashes saying “I think we’re supposed to hold hands now...maybe some things are inevitable” is lovely.

This stuff with Daisy and Charles Hinton is really sweet too, if devastating. He’s just so HAPPY he finally made a difference. And she’s promising to protect his daughter (not unlike the agent who protected baby Daisy). I’m EMOTIONAL.

Damn it. So much for Bethany Lenz fucking shit up. Fridged for Malick. I swear, when they introduced her in the stinger, they were implying that she would be just as formidable as her dad. But nope. Disappointing.

Oh that’s nice that they got the same dude to be young Gideon in S7 as they did in S3.

Eww Malick dying was gross. This show goes pretty hard with gore for a basic cable show.

YoYo and Mack learning each other’s languages. She was practicing “nice to see you again. You’re looking well” specifically for him? GIRL I LOVE?!!!!

Also God, I love Daisy as the leader of the Secret Warriors. The show is NOT going to give me enough of this. I already feel robbed.

Bruh, 3x17 was fantastically suspenseful. Who’s the mole? The Inhumans feeling hunted by SHIELD and trying to regroup. And Dark, Brainwashed Daisy is one of the things I knew was coming, but my jaw still dropped.

Wow, the team really doesn’t like Lincoln, do they? They’re doing everything to save infected Daisy but Coulson is willing to nuke Lincoln the second he gets infected? I’m glad May calls Coulson out on it. Also, Lincoln saying that he bets they’d like if he died so “you three can go back to being a small, messed up, family.” While I like the emphasis on them being a family (and doing the classic “I don’t like our daughter’s bf”), it seems a little unwarranted. Lincoln’s volatile, but I don’t think he’s any more chaotic than Daisy. And sure, he’s there for his girl and not the cause, but such was the case with Hunter and the only one who gave him shit for that was May. In this case it seems like so many--Coulson, May, Mack--are kinda just dealing with Lincoln for Daisy’s sake and I don’t know that strong of a dislike/distrust is earned.

However, it does make me smile thinking of the future in which everyone is on-board with Daisy/Sousa.

Mack saying “If [Dr. Radcliffe] is the only way to cure Tremors, you know where I stand” when it comes to Fitzsimmons performing unethical surgery. Listen, I know it’s protagonist-guided morality with how the team would flame anyone else for staking so much on one person vs the greater good, but honestly Daisy deserves people who love her that much. Who say “fuck it. You do what it takes to get her back.”

NEEDLE IN THE EYE. I DID NOT NEED THIS. Also omg, it’s Jonathan from The Mummy!

#evan watches aos #agents of shield #mcu #long post

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multimetaverse · 4 years

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HSMTMTS 1x05 Review

Homecoming was a historic ep that was a giant leap forwards for rep on Disney and an overall delightful ep. Let’s dig in!

I was blown away by Seblos this ep, I never expected Disney to go this far this soon but what great scenes we got. It was so refreshing to see Carlos and Seb acting like normal teens, just like any straight couple. They have good chemistry and Frankie played Carlos’ nerves when asking Seb to the dance perfectly and his celebration after Seb said yes. I liked when Seb mentioned that homecoming would mean dancing together in front of all the non theatre kids, a little reminder of how much of a safe space the theatre can be. Really powerful to see Carlos tell Mr. Mazzara that he thought he made a mistake asking him to dance with him publicly and to see Carlos be brave enough to go dance on his own. And then when Seb arrived we got the shot we see in every teen movie where the love interest arrives at the big dance and sees the main character and smiles, it’s amazing that we saw that with two guys on a Disney show. Also impressive that Seb apologizing to Carlos was done in just one take as Tim revealed on instagram

Tim Federle has done an amazing job so far and good for him for going right into text. He’s said in interviews that no one from Disney ever asked him to cut any scenes or shy away from certain topics, which doesn’t mean much since he’d be saying that regardless of how much he was being censored, but we can see with our own eyes that he really is telling the truth. Now I do want more development for Carlos and Seb as characters as well as Seblos as a ship and I do think we’ll get that especially since Joe Serafini has been promoted to a series regular for S2, which is a very good sign that Disney is all in with Tim Federle’s plans. What an exciting time, there will soon be two main gay characters on a Disney show played by openly gay actors on a show created by an openly gay man. Tim has spoken of how Disney + is in some ways an open frontier and that he’s willing to take big jumps and I can’t wait to see what the rest of S1 and S2 has in store for us

Things have changed a lot since the High School Musical movies came out. It’s well known that Ryan was meant to be gay even though he could never actually be gay. Lucas Grabeel has spoken of how Kenny Ortega told him that Ryan was a lot like his High School self. In an interview with EW, Tim Federle was asked about the censorship of Ryan’s character and he noted that he wasn’t there for the movies and doesn’t view what he’s now doing on HSMTMTS as making up for anything that the original movies weren’t able to do. Which is fair but regardless in some ways tonight's ep does make up for the censorship of the movies

While reading an article on HSMTMTS I came upon a link to a story from October 2008 about Ryan and how he was clearly being coded as gay that featured some revealing quotes from Gary Marsh, from an interview conducted in summer 2008:

Regarding the fact that there are boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in the HSM movies, Marsh interjected, “Yeah, but that’s not about sex,” as though having two boyfriends equals full-tilt boogie. And as to why there can be boyfriend and girlfriends but not two boyfriends, he could only note, “It’s just not something that we’ve ever had the opportunity to portray. It hasn’t been a place we’ve gone.”

If someone, like Gary Marsh, believes that lgbtq relationships are inherently sexual then that means they don’t believe they’re appropriate for children. It’s no surprise then that it wouldn’t be until 2014 that Disney Channel had two lesbian moms appear on Good Luck Charlie and it wouldn’t be until 2017 that Cyrus came out to Buffy. Clearly Gary has for whatever reasons evolved in his views or there wouldn’t have been any rep on Disney Channel in the past 11 years nor do I think that he would make a comment like that publicly today but he probably does still believe that to an extent and I’d imagine other senior Disney executives do as well

A few things are helping Disney + push boundaries, being more of a PG than a G rated service, not being exclusively targeted towards children, and being a curated service so parents can easily avoid showing their kids shows with lgbtq rep. And perhaps most importantly, the cold hard reality that if Disney + is to become financially viable then it has to appeal to a broad audience and provide the same quality or better than people could find on Netflix or other streaming services so the kind of censorship we see on Disney Channel just can’t fly

There’s been a lot of discourse regarding Seblos and Tyrus and HSMTMTS and Andi Mack and I’ll take the time to say my piece now. It’s not entirely fair to compare the ships and shows since they’re taking place under very different circumstances. Tyrus was a heavily censored ship that was only given permission to canon when the series finale was written whereas Seblos is already canon in the 5th ep. It’s true that TJ was written in a way to subvert gay stereotypes which was important but it’s also true that for most of the audience they didn’t know that he was gay until the bench scene itself so there wasn’t that much trope subversion going on. And who knows how he would have been written if they were actually allowed to have him be openly gay before the series finale

Carlos and Seb may fall into some stereotypes but Tim Federle has spoken of how when he was in High School he would have loved to play a character like Sharpay but wouldn’t have had the confidence to do so and he wrote Seb wanting to play a female role with his own past experiences in mind. He’s also spoken about how Carlos was based off of a close friend of his and he put some of himself into Carlos as well with Carlos telling Mr. Mazzara that he was meant to be on Broadway being something Tim told one of his own teachers in High School. Frankie and Joe have talked about how they see a lot of their own experiences in Carlos and Seb as characters and in Seblos as a relationship. Tim has spoken a lot about how important authenticity is to him and while Carlos and Seb may be stereotypical to some people it shouldn’t be discounted that others can see their lived experiences in those characters

For Andi Mack it’s important to separate Cyrus’ story from the Tyrus story line. It’s unlikely HSMTMTS could have pulled off Cyrus’ coming out story line, the shows are just too different. We’re almost certainly not going to see a One in a Minyan style ep on HSMTMTS but would we have seen such an ep on Andi Mack if they didn’t need to pack all of Cyrus’ S3 story line into one ep? We also can’t forget that 3x11 was written shortly after the cancellation and it was written as a potential end to the gay story line since they didn’t know until months later if they could go with canon Tyrus or not. Even with the limits it faced Andi Mack did a great job with Cyrus’ coming out story line and I think eps like 2x01 and 2x13 and 3x11 will be fondly remembered and will stand the test of time

When it comes to Tyrus though it’s fair to say that the bench scene was a historic and important moment but also an underwhelming one. Andi Mack didn’t live up to the promise that Cyrus was no different but it was never going to be able to with Disney’s restrictions, they were willing to focus on Cyrus as a gay character but not Cyrus as an actively gay character. One thing that will make Seblos go down a lot better than Tyrus is that we aren’t going to see Carlos bearding himself like Cyrus did. It won’t age well at all that Cyrus got to go on dates with Iris and kiss her twice and refer to her as a his girlfriend and even come up with a mashup name for them but Terri probably would have done things very differently if she had known that all Cyrus would be able to do with a boy was hold hands in the series finale. We can also tell that HSMTMTS won’t be facing an increase in censorship later on since Seb will be a main in S2 whereas Disney cracked down hard after S2 for Andi Mack, probably because the story was shifting from Cyrus having a hopeless crush on a straight guy to a reciprocated crush on a gay guy

Since Seblos is textual from the start it will be much easier to write and also much easier to fix things when the writers inevitably make mistakes. I think a lot of the defensiveness coming from certain corners of the Andi Mack fandom is because deep down people know that the bench scene wasn’t enough pay off for the long dragged out Tyrus no burn we got; especially with all of the drama and angst they had. Development is important but it doesn’t take two thirds of the series to set up a silent handhold. I think it’s very unlikely that for HSMTMTS we’ll see the drastic decline in quality that Andi Mack had for most story lines after 3x11. The bench scene would have been better if we hadn’t gotten the worst writing of the series for TJ and Cyrus as characters that did a real disservice to them and to Tyrus as a ship in the eps before the finale. The Tyrus story line was never going to get a great ending with Disney’s restrictions but it is also true that Terri’s choices made things a lot worse than they had to be

It’s insane that they introduced Kira as a homophobic character who was manipulating TJ but also was clearly into him; how do professional writers come up with that? It’s just not a mistake Tim Federle is going to make. Trying to do an external homophobia story line was an obviously bad idea but so was giving TJ an out of nowhere internalized homophobia plot in 3x13 and 3x15 before dropping it in 3x18. Cyrus’ coming out story line helped a lot of people because it showed the correct way for friends to react when someone comes out to you but for TJ they never did anything to help people dealing with internalized or external homophobia, the message was effectively ‘’deal with it on your own kids’’, which is sharp contrast with how openly his dyscalculia plot was handled. I don’t think HSMTMTS would be effectively able to deal with homophobia either but I think Tim probably realizes that and won’t attempt it

There were a lot of little things Terri could have changed that would have helped. Don’t insert Kira into their plot. Don’t have Amber kiss Jonah or say she’s love him so at least she could have pointed to another character who never got to kiss a guy or talk about feelings. Put the Jandi bracelet scene in between the Muffy and Tyrus confession scenes so we don’t go straight from a Muffy kiss and handhold and verbal confession to the bench scene. And just write the bench scene better so it’s more in line with the Tyrus dynamic like how the Muffy and Jandi scenes did a good job capturing their own dynamics. Of course, we’re not going to see Seblos end so subtly so all these problems just won’t arise

Tyrus was important because it happened and may well be the only lgbtq rep we see for middle school characters played by actual teenagers for a very long time. But it’s also true that Andi Mack’s legacy will probably rest a lot more with Cyrus specifically, especially him saying the word gay, whereas HSMTMTS will be remembered more for normalizing lgbtq relationships with Seblos. I’m glad Tyrus happened but I’m also glad that Seblos will be a much smoother story line and will break boundaries for years to come. Anyways that’s my two cents

I really liked the Gina development this ep. Her doesn’t do cash line was interesting, hinting at financial problems? Moving 5 schools in 7 years is rough and I’d like to hear more about that. I’m glad that we got confirmation that she didn’t have an actual plan and was just winging it because her actions really did not make much sense. Tim Federle had said that love triangles will become love squares and it does make more sense to have Gina be into Ricky than EJ since there’s no real drama if she’s into EJ because Nini is totally over him. I do think Gina was being sincere in the scene with Ricky in the car (which Tim said was Big Red’s car that he lent Ricky and that Joshua and Sofia did that scene in just two takes). I also think that she needs Ricky as a friend not a lover and Ricky would not be happy if he ever found out that she was the one who initially stole Nini’s phone

Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen and Benjamin Mazzara love triangle? We do know that Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara spend Thanksgiving trapped together which is obvious set up for feelings to develop. We also got Mr. Mazzara doing a 180 and being nice to Carlos this ep which seems like a ploy to get him on the audiences good side

Loved the friendship moments we got this ep. Big Red and Kourtney are great friends. Ricky taking Big Red to his first dance was sweet and I love that Big Red showed up in a old man suit jacket that looks like it was from the 70s. Ngl I thought Ricky was wearing pajama pants for most of the ep. Glad we got a glimpse into Kourtney and Nini’s past, they’ve been friends at least since the 7th grade. I hope Kourtney stands up to the mean costume designer senior

I liked seeing Nini grappling with her self confidence after finding out that she got the lead role at summer camp because EJ poisoned the original lead. She does have the talent but that kind of revelation would leave most people shook

Glad that Ricky and his dad had a honest convo this ep. It’s just the two of them now so they need to stick by each other

Ashlyn has been an unexpected delight so far, I liked that she was the only one to go and support Carlos and she was rocking that suit

Ricky’s office stare after Gina dumped punch on EJ’s head was too funny

Born to be brave was a great song and the choreography blew me away, such a talented cast and crew they have

All of the costumes looked great this ep, kudos to the costume designers

RIP Seb’s cow

Looking Ahead:

Miss Jenn faces her tribunal, I’m curious to see how much she faked on her resume

We get photos of Seb comforting Carlos which I think comes after he finds out that Miss Jenn is suspended. In the medley trailer there was a clip of Carlos hugging Miss Jenn at a coffee shop so maybe that’s next ep since there’s no need to meet at a coffee shop if she’s not suspended

The cast has talked about how we the audience we’ll be going back and forth on team Ricky vs team EJ all season long which at this point seems like a lie. I’m sure EJ’s redemption arc starts soon and if he’s still going to panic attacks I’d imagine that will soon be brought up but Nini is totally over him and I can’t see her being torn about her feelings for EJ in the final 5 eps of the season

With Seb being a main in S2 that will make things more difficult for the writers to juggle and I hope they are thinking about how to balance the different characters. I also wonder what the long term plan for EJ is since he’s the only senior and if S2 takes place spring semester of his senior year then what are they gonna do with him in S3?

We know that in 1x10 breaking free has EJ, Nini, and Ricky so I wonder if EJ starts off playing Troy for whatever reason before Ricky shows up. Since Ricky thinks Nini is over him I don’t think we’ll be seeing him make a move unless he gets some kind of signal from Nini

Wonder what was up with that Sharpay’s mom credit on imdb, just some random imdb troll? If so, what a coincidence that she picked what happened to be a big Seb ep

I don’t know if this will have impact on the show going forward but this marks the point that Tim Federle took over as showrunner after original showrunner Oliver Goldsmith departed. Oliver wanted to take the show in a more mature direction but Tim disagreed and Disney sided with him over Oliver

Until next week Wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Seblos #Carlos #seb mathew-smith #Ricky Bowen #Gina Porter #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Kourtney #Big Red #Ashlyn #EJ Caswell #Mike Bowen #Miss Jenn #Benjamin Mazzara #HSMTMTS Reviews

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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What do you think are some underappreciated Glee episodes?

This is a good last question for the night :)

Bad Reputation (1x15) - I think there are a lot of funny things going on but it’s often ignored because there aren’t any big, plot revolutionary moments in it. I also think the humor is in the music, which might have been lost a little on a general audience.

Duets (2x04) - I mean, people do praise it, but I think it’s a magnificently written episode, and an episode where they use the entire ensemble well, where everyone has a rather strong and balanced arc. The production level of Glee was always iffy, but this one nails it.

Sexy (2x15) - There’s a very mature and open minded conversation about sex in multiple forms in this episode and I think since it’s squished between Blame It on the Alcohol and Original Song it gets a little lost, but it’s just as strong an episode for a lot of good reasons

Heart (1x13) - Glee’s Valentine’s episodes were exceptionally strong -- it seemed to be the one time of year when they really understood how to use their ensemble in a good way. It’s a little overshadowed by Silly Love Songs and I Do (and even Tested) but it’s a highlight in a somewhat abysmal sea of episodes.

Makeover (4x03) - It sets up The Break Up, so it is a little hard to comeback to, but there is a lot of great Blaine and Kurt stuff in here, but not often remembered as being a great story for the both of them.

A Katy or a Gaga and The End of Twerk (5x04-5x05) - The first one is actually incredibly funny, while the second one has a very poignant Unique story. Both of them have fantastic Kurt subplots. True, they’re both a little outlandish, but they are also sitting in the shadow of The Quarterback

Frenemies and Trio (5x09-5x10) - These are both solid episodes with some really great plot lines. Yeah, the Rachel/Santana fight gets slightly irritating as it plays out, and the most frustrating part is that this is where you can tell the show is really stalling to get to 100, but I’ll still stand by the fact these are still really enjoyable episodes.

Most of Season 6; With the exception of episodes 9 and 10, and a little bit of bumpiness, the whole season is really fantastic, and is often dismissed because didn’t go where people wanted it to go and feels very different from what the show once was.

Some runners up, where there are still things I had problems with within the episode so they didn’t make my main list, but maybe not as bad as people think; Mattress (1x12); Furt (2x08); Yes/No (3x10); Saturday Night Gleever (3x16); Choke (3x18); Swan Song (4x09); Feud (4x16)

If I didn’t mention it -- it means I think it got the praise (or the criticism) it deserves :)

#that's how s.o. sees it :)#Anonymous

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seraph-novak · 5 years

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The Lunchtime Club (Post 3x18)

Summary ~ When Cyrus shows up for lunchtime detention, he isn't expecting to find TJ alone in a room full of muffins and baby taters...

~~~~~

Cyrus forced himself to pass the cafeteria without breathing through his nose, refusing to let the sweet, chocolatey scent of the freshly-baked muffins lead him astray. He’d been asking for punishment by getting into that golf cart with TJ, and this was it: eating a pitiful lunch in a dusty classroom with the other rebels of the week, while the vulturous students in the cafeteria happily dined on chocolate muffins and baby taters. They weren’t as good as the ones they sold at The Spoon, but they were close enough. And now he’d have to wait another agonising week before tasting them again.

Oh well. At least he got to spend his lunchtime with TJ, no matter how dire the circumstances.

Just thinking about TJ was enough to put a smile on his face, despite the impatient grumbling of his stomach. These past few days had reminded him how much he enjoyed the other boy’s company, and the frantic beating of his heart when they’d hugged had reminded him of something else… With every passing day, his feelings for TJ were growing stronger and stronger, and Cyrus wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Being with him was intoxicating, but being away from him was unbearable. It felt like an ongoing game of emotional tennis inside his chest, and he had no idea which side was going to win.

But right now, the ball was in his court, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care about the dangers of getting too close to TJ, just like he’d allowed himself to do with Jonah. If things were destined to end badly between them, then so be it. At least he could enjoy himself while it lasted.

As he approached the classroom where detention was being held that afternoon, he shoved all those needling thoughts to the back of his mind, sucking in a deep breath as he prepared himself for a room full of glowering punks and paper-throwing delinquents. There was no sign on the door, but it was definitely the right room; TJ had given him very clear directions earlier that day, urging him to be there on time. It seemed a little strange to hold detention in such a small classroom at the back of the school, but who was he to question it? He wasn’t exactly familiar with the rules of detention.

With another steadying breath, he rapped his knuckles lightly on the door, then let himself inside.

At first, he was too overcome by the mouth-watering combination of aromas wafting around the room to notice anything overly unusual; he’d been expecting the cloying stench of teenage boys doused in too much aftershave, so he was more than a little stunned to find himself breathing in the familiar fragrance of muffins and baby taters he’d left behind in the cafeteria instead. But then, as he slowly adjusted to the wonderful smell, his eyes landed on TJ in the middle of the room. His dreamy gaze re-focused, his brows crunching together as the scene before him finally registered in his brain.

TJ was standing in front of him, a gentle smile softening his face, and there was a delectable spread of Cyrus’ favourite foods laid out on the table before him. And if that wasn’t strange enough, there wasn’t a single other student in the room with him. Not even a teacher to supervise the detention.

“Um,” he said, blinking at TJ in confusion.

TJ chuckled. “Surprise, Underdog.”

“Is this detention?” he asked with a frown. All of a sudden, he was hit with a blinding sense of panic, and he had to grab onto the doorframe to keep himself from toppling over. “Oh, God… We’re in heaven, aren’t we? We crashed in that stupid golf cart, and now we’re dead.”

“Calm down,” TJ said, huffing a laugh as he motioned for Cyrus to come inside and close the door. “We’re not dead, Cyrus. But we’re not in detention either.”

“I’m… confused.”

“No one actually gave us detention for stealing the golf cart again. I guess we must’ve returned it before anyone noticed.”

“Or maybe the Student Court was too intimidated by me to demand another trial?”

TJ wrinkled his nose. “I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I lied about detention so I could get you alone,” TJ admitted, shyly rubbing the back of his neck in a poor attempt to hide his quickly-rising blush. “I wanted to thank you, for defending me the other day. You really didn’t need to do that.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Yeah, well… I couldn’t’ve asked for a better lawyer, so…”

Cyrus snorted. “You do remember losing, right?”

“Ah, who cares?”

“I do!”

“Well, you shouldn’t,” TJ said, effectively subduing the twist of guilt in his stomach with an easy, charming smile. “I’m just glad you were there for me.”

Under the inexplicable softness of his lingering gaze, Cyrus felt his knees buckle slightly. This really wasn’t doing his ever-growing crush any favours. But TJ was still staring at him, his eyes wide and imploring, and Cyrus couldn’t do anything but walk across the room and take a seat at the table. Anything to please TJ. Anything to see that goofy grin he’d come to adore so much. Anything to spend just a little more time with him, regardless of whether or not it caused him even more pain in the long run.

“Where did you get all this food?” he asked, trying his best to fight the wobble in his voice.

TJ didn’t seem to notice.

“Buffy owed me a favour after I gave her a lift,” he said simply. “I know that’s not how acts of kindness are supposed to work, but… She insisted.”

Cyrus quirked a disbelieving eyebrow. Even though she’d admitted at The Spoon that TJ had grown on her, it still wasn’t like Buffy to dish out favours for no apparent reason. Unless, of course, she was up to something. Which terrified him more than any other possibility. He hadn’t exactly been subtle about his crush on TJ, but the idea of Buffy setting them up on poorly-disguised dates was enough to make his blood run cold. Because if his friends were starting to figure it out, who’s to say TJ wasn’t close behind?

“Well, it looks great,” he said, smothering his anxieties with a breathless smile as he helped himself to the mountain of chocolate chocolate-chip muffins in the middle of the table. He didn’t even realise how aggressively he was chewing his chosen muffin until TJ laughed softly, his eyes practically gleaming as he watched Cyrus from across the table.

“What?” Cyrus asked, blushing as the word came out garbled by his overly-full mouth.

“You’ve got something on your face,” TJ said, his lips twitching with a smile as he reached across the table and wiped away a smear of chocolate with the pad of his thumb.

Cyrus froze. All his years of watching romantic movies with Buffy had prepared him for this very moment, and yet… His mind was blank. The boy of his dreams was currently hovering over him with the fondest of smiles, his thumb still brushing the corner of his mouth, and Cyrus had absolutely no clue how to respond. All he could do was stammer and blush and ball his hands into tight, trembling fists as the feeling washed over him, his innocent crush steadily evolving into something far more significant…

“Where’s Kira?” he heard himself blurting out, desperately trying to distract himself from the emotional hurricane causing havoc inside his heart. “You usually play basketball with her at lunch, don’t you?”

TJ winced, slowly withdrawing his hand from Cyrus’ mouth. “I haven’t been hanging out with Kira much lately.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… Things were getting weird between us. I think she wanted to be more than friends.” He shrugged, rubbing his hands up and down his thighs. He looked a little flushed now, as if Cyrus had unintentionally asked him a personal question. “But I don’t like her in that way.”

“Oh,” Cyrus said again, trying his best to keep the startled relief out of his voice. “How come? I mean… You guys have so much in common.”

“Like basketball?”

“Well, yeah!”

“That’s it,” TJ said, an edge of irritation to his voice. He was staring at him with an expression of impatience and disbelief, and Cyrus had the feeling he was missing something obvious. “Liking the same sport doesn’t make two people perfect for each other, you know? There are more important things… Like, getting to be yourself around each other. Feeling comfortable with them. Happy.”

Cyrus frowned. “You didn’t feel those things with Kira?”

“She wanted me to play a certain part,” TJ mumbled, staring down at his twiddling thumbs. “The person I used to be. A jock. A…”

“Scary-basketball-guy?” Cyrus suggested.

TJ smiled thinly. “Yeah. Exactly that.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re not hanging out with her anymore, then. A real friend wouldn’t do that.”

“I know. I realise that now.” TJ licked his lips, a nervous habit that made Cyrus’ stomach flutter. He was too distracted by the flick of his tongue to notice TJ reaching across the table again, his fingers gingerly brushing the back of his hand. It felt like a question. An invitation. And Cyrus accepted it without hesitation, allowing TJ’s fingers to melt into the gaps between his knuckles as they moved closer together, practically draping themselves over the table. “I know who my real friends are now.”

Cyrus nodded. “We’re here for you, Teej. Especially me…”

“I’ve missed you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” TJ said, laughing self-consciously. “Hanging out with you these past few days… It’s been fun. More than fun, it’s… It’s been amazing, Cy.” He took a deep, shuddering breath, then turned Cyrus’ hand over in his own, gently sliding their palms together. “When I’m with you… I feel like myself, you know?”

Cyrus gave his hand a comforting squeeze. “Yeah, I know. I feel the same way.”

“You do?”

“Every time I’m with you,” he said, a dreamy smile passing his lips as the very feeling washed over him in earnest, seeping into his veins and warming his heart with easy, weightless joy, “it’s like the opposite of holding your breath. Does that make any sense?”

TJ grinned. “Totally.”

“Do you… I mean, is it like that for you? With me.”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“Well, my crippling paranoia kinda demands it, so… Yeah.”

“You’re such a dork,” TJ said fondly, his eyes bursting with undeniable affection as they flitted over Cyrus’ face. After a moment of quiet exploration, they settled on his lips, and Cyrus could feel his pulse leaping with possibility. “Of course it’s like that for me.”

“Okay.” He swallowed thickly. “Good.”

A beat of silence passed, and TJ tore his eyes away from Cyrus’ mouth, pointedly clearing his throat and staring at the table instead. His ears were practically glowing with embarrassment, which Cyrus found incredibly adorable. Just like everything else about him. And for once, he didn’t chase those crush-induced thoughts to the back of his mind. Instead, he looked at TJ and allowed himself to appreciate how wonderful he was, and just how much he cared about him. Those feelings didn’t scare him anymore. They excited him. And judging by the bashful, giddy smile adorning TJ’s endearingly flushed face, the feeling was mutual.

“Anyway,” he said after a while, reluctantly letting go of TJ’s hand to wave at the banquet of muffins and baby taters. “We should probably make a start on all this.”

“Yeah,” TJ said, absently drumming his fingers on the edge of the table. “It’s not gonna eat itself, right?”

“God, I hope not… I have nightmares about that sort of thing.”

TJ laughed, and Cyrus felt it in his gut.

“We should steal golf carts more often,” he teased. “If this is what detention is really like.”

“It’s not,” TJ said. “But don’t worry, Underdog. If you want me to break into empty classrooms and prepare elaborate picnics for you more often, all you’ve gotta do is ask.”

“I might just take you up on that, you know?”

TJ met his eyes and smiled, without an ounce of insincerity. “Good.”

And, yeah. It really was.

The End.

~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading! As always, all likes/comments/reblogs are very much appreciated ♥

#tyrus #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #andi mack #tyrus fics

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what-do-1000-swords-look-like · 3 years

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This is just my opinion, it doesn't mean I'm wrong or right, but I read this recently and had some thoughts. I have to say I personally do not feel like this show is queerbaiting or even ratebaiting at this point (more than the usual stuff I mean). This show has excellent representation and there is no reason for anything to be so definitive when it comes to Buck and Eddie. Meaning that their story can progress at a natural pace as the story evolves around them because there is such excellent representation around them. Would it be nice if their relationship was defined one way or another? Sure. But the beauty is that it can unfold naturally and organically. There is no added outside pressure to complete the mold just yet (unless the network decides otherwise). Imho, they're taking the time to make sure that each and every piece is put together before they head into wherever it is they're heading for these two.

I just feel like there are too many things that the show has done to start to put the pieces together that it won't have some payoff in the end. I am a Destiel/SPN veteran so of course naturally I was a bit unsure and absolutely wary when I started to see things occurring and developing in the show for Buck and Eddie, but having taken a second look, and a third, and a fourth, and so on...I do feel slightly better and more confident in the belief that queerbaiting is not taking place here. There's just way too much that they literally have built from the ground up. I know I talk about framing, props, music cues, camera angles, certain reaction shots, costuming, lighting, dialogue, parallels, etc, a lot but that's all because they (and other TV shows) use all of that to help tell the story they're presenting to us as the audience on screen. Tim himself even makes two references to this that I've seen, once jokingly (about the Christmas Elf scene and the fountain behind B&E) and the 3x18 episode (where the train is supposed to represent Buck). And we definitely saw a shift in dynamics in season 3. Not only did we see Christopher and Buck's bond deepen, but so did Buck and Eddie's. They purposely went out of their way to show us this, to have the lawsuit/divorce arc, to show us just how much Buck's actions affected him (as well as Christopher), to have Lena be a stand-in for Buck (where there wasn't any romantic or sexual intentions) for Eddie in contrast, to show us that while Eddie considers the 118 to be the family he chose that he has Buck set apart from all of that...there's just so much and I just don't get the feeling that it's all for naught, all for ratings and to keep a certain section of fans watching. For example, they could have started separating these guys, defining their relationship as more brotherly and platonic, especially since they had Eddie with Ana and then Buck with Taylor, but they didn't. Instead, they double downed on the B&E relationship by not only having Carla blow open Eddie's real reason for getting with Ana (even if he didn't realize it at the time), but they also gave us the shooting scene where it's heavily framed (and shot) as romantic, and then 4x14.

I don't know, I mean I could always be wrong, and maybe they may do as this person said, have the feelings only be one-sided, or maybe they'll define the relationship more as they go, but I just don't see it as a big trap. A lot of us were beyond shocked (though pleasantly so) when SPN actually allowed Cas to confess his feelings in 15x18, because I think a lot of us, even though we saw the writing on the wall, did not actually expect it to happen, not in that show for those characters. But, I gotta be honest, I don't get that same vibe here. They've made numerous vague references or hints to Buck's sexuality and that question and while we've seen on screen what it purports to be, it has not been explicitly confirmed (it hasn't needed to be up to this point). While there hasn't been hints or vague references or any questions to where Eddie supposedly stands, that also hasn't been explicitly confirmed (because it also hasn't needed to be to this point). To me, their connection supersedes sexuality and is more deeply rooted in the emotional (the 3x03 scene, the 3x09 kitchen scene) which I think is becoming more and more romantic (3x18, 4x14) as time goes on. Which, if that's what the show is indeed going for or at least in the neighborhood (based on Tim's quote in this article), then that makes a lot of sense that he's not ready for the relationship to be defined yet and he's just going where the story (and characters) take him. But ultimately, I don't feel it's queerbait. Speaking strictly for ratings and numbers, they already have the LGBTQ+ community of viewers with Michael and David, Hen and Karen, Tarlos and Paul on Lonestar, if that was their true intention. I don't think it is, though. I think Tim realizes now he has what he originally thought was just another piece of the mural of 9-1-1 in his hands but it turned out to be a diamond or lightning in a bottle even, and he's trying to navigate the story as best he can now knowing what he has.

But that's just my personal opinion. I hope that whatever way Tim chooses to go with these two, that he doesn't let us down.

#just thoughts #buddie #buck x eddie #911 fox #tim minear i want to study you #911posts

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deluweil · 3 years

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So as a request was made yesterday for the 3x18 buddie this is my choice of Eddie gif (read gifs coz this may get a little long) for today:

We’ve covered the five stages of Eddie’s reaction yesterday which was - “Oh shit this is Abby, she is rude and ginger (for Dr. Who fans;) ), bitch has a fiancé and will now get my man killed because she knows he is really a big marshmallow inside and will probably get himself killed just so that she can be happy, I hate her.”

If that wasn’t enough, Buck made a stupid promise to Abby (which seriously, any rookie knows -be it a doctor, a teacher or a first responder - you do not make promises you aren’t 100% sure you can keep, and really even then, don’t.) and as we learn later Eddie knew about that. Either he hung back and waited for Buck to join him, or Buck told him himself, Eddie now knows that this is going to turn dangerous, because Buck, bless his big reckless heart, will do whatever it takes to fulfil that promise, one way or the other, and I bet you all Eddie was praying all the way up the car that 1. the dude is alive and 2. no dangerous rescue will be needed.

But of course that wasn’t the case, as luck would have it this turned into one life or another and Eddie was put in a position where he’s the one as the medic who has to make the choice. And you can see on his face how much he hates the fact that Bobby puts him in this position because, he has to be the one to look into Buck’s baby blue eyes and tell him that he may have to break that promise.

Moving on Buck continues to insist on saving both Sam and the girl and comes up with one of the craziest ideas ever (it worked, who am I to judge?;)) and really “I know this is a lot heavier than a firetruck”? I wanted to hit Buck over the head!

This was pretty much the breaking point for Eddie, in my opinion. Eddie who was there when the truck exploded, who had to stand and watch his friend, his best friend being crushed by a firetruck, not two weeks (was it?) after losing Shannon and not being able to go help him, because of some crazy kid and a bomb.

Who was there for the silent tears, and the defeated “kinda numb” and the screaming that followed while trying to get the truck off his leg, and the race to the hospital.

Why 9-1-1 writers chose for Carla, Maddie and Ali to be the first faces he saw when awake is beyond me.

We all know it was supposed to be, either the entire team or Eddie and Christopher. Chimney got Christopher, why not Buck? Who is way WAY closer to the Diaz boys than Chimney.

But, I digress. Eddie was not down with his partner sacrificing himself for the woman who hurt him and left him, and moved on without so much as a word.

This scene up there has been the talk of the fandom for ages, because obviously Eddie's face is contorted in a way that can be construed in so many ways.

At this point I think Eddie was expecting Buck to level with Bobby, to tell him the truth. And when Buck doesn't, Eddie is at the end of his rope, because Buck just lied to Bobby, fully expecting Eddie to do the same thing.

But Eddie knew that Bobby was the only one with the authority to stop Buck’s crazy plan, so he brilliantly (in my opinion anyway) threw Buck under the bus in the hopes that Bobby will see that this is an emotionally based decision and refuse Buck’s plea to go outside the car.

Also knowing that he had no control over the situation, Eddie wasn’t just frustrated at his friend’s refusal to see reason, he was hurt that his voice, his own plea to Buck to not go through with the plan was not heard.

And yes he was angry that Abby still had such a sway over Buck, because in his opinion (and really everybody else’s) she should have lost that a long time ago.

So really Eddie didn’t have anything else to do but sit back and watch this disastrous conversation with Bobby taking place knowing that their captain is going to lose because really Buck is too stubborn and persuasive for his own good. (Also Bobby is sort of useless when associated with Buck, just saying.)

So he storms off, making his displeasure known quite effectively (and yes dramatically), but really he couldn’t very well turn to his Not-Currently-His-Boyfriend and yell at his face that he shouldn’t be doing this for that ungrateful bitch who up and left him and came back with a fiancé. That Eddie didn’t want to lose him and how the hell is he supposed to go home and tell Christopher that “His Buck” isn’t coming back barely a year after losing his mother. - That'd just be unprofessional. ;)

Obviously, once it was decided that Buck will be going out there, Eddie was completely with him, watching his back as best as he can, he even made it out of the train after the rescue, as quickly as possible, to be at Buck’s side (front) when Abby and Sam were loaded into the ambulance.

(my take on that scene is in last night’s post.)

Through the buddie goggles again:

- Before I sum up this rescue and the rest of the episode, there is one thing everyone were overlooking - Buck’s mind was made up the second he learned that Sam was a father.

Eddie and Bobby lost the argument before it started because Sam was a dad with two daughters waiting for him at home. - In my opinion, it wasn’t about Abby at this point, it was about Eddie and Christopher.

Even Buck’s argument wasn’t about Sam being Abby’s fiancé, it was about him having two daughters. 🤔🤔

I can go on forever about this episode simply because it was SO GOOD, buy it is 3:20am here so I will leave you with this little gem:

The biggest Buddie gem wasn’t during the rescue, it was at the wrapping song of this episode at May’s party.

The song - Only You is playing in the background and among the couples taking pictures together Eddie and Buck show up too not once, but twice.

Wow this turned out a hell of a lot longer than I planned 😅 if you made it this far, thank you 💕💕💕

hope you enjoyed this. ❤❤❤

#eddie diaz #one Eddie pic a day #more like a montage this time 😅#this got away from me #a little 😂#evan buckley #bobby knows #buddie #9-1-1 #9 1 1 on fox #9 1 1 3x18 #somebody teach me how to do under a cut so I won't cover too much of your dashboard 🙏#hope you like it #if you have any requests for eddie and/or buddie lmk #😘😘😘

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thanks--for--listening · 4 years

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one of hers

its ya girl, back with another root/shaw fic. this one takes place after 3x18, the episode when root gets her hearing aid. also on ao3 ~~ Shaw couldn’t stop staring at the scar.

She couldn’t see it very well anymore, not with the new hearing aid Root had gotten in the time it took her to fight her way out of Vigilence’s grasp. But if you knew where to look, you could just see the scar tissue, peeking out from behind her ear. And Shaw knew exactly where to look.

Standing in the hallway, she tried to get the image out of her head. She’d never once wished to be ignorant, but right now she almost regretted having the medical knowledge she did. She knew too much about that procedure, knew the agony it caused people who felt pain in the right way, especially without an anesthetic, which she was certain Control didn’t use. She also knew Root. She’d smile and flirt her way through anything, which normally didn’t bother her, but there was something so invasive about taking the hearing from someone who’s livelihood seems to rest on listening to the words from her machine overlord. She added it to her list of reasons she was going to kill Control, when she finally got the chance. It founds its way near the top, second only to Shaw’s own murder.

The door opened, and she watched Root walk out, Fusco a few steps behind her. If Root was surprised to see her waiting, she didn’t show it; instead, she said something to Fusco, and a minute later he was gone, walking past them and into the elevator.

“You miss me already?”

“Move your hair.”

Root raised an eyebrow at her, and Shaw wondered if The Machine knew what she was doing, if it was whispering away into Root’s ear as they spoke.

“If you want to play with my hair, all you have to do is ask, Sweetie.”

Shaw rolled her eyes, stepping forward and reaching for the hair on her right side. Root flinched. Shaw looked up and saw poorly disguised panic in her eyes. She swore to herself as she held her hand up, palm out. “I just want to make sure the doctor who operated on you at gunpoint didn’t screw anything up.”

“Oh.” The word was so uncharacteristically meek. It made her angry.

“Figured you might not have wanted me to look at it with the boys around.” She said, trying to soften her voice as much as she could. Her bedside manner had never been up to standards, but she hoped by now Root would be able to recognize her intent, would hear Shaw’s attempt at what most people called empathy.

“I appreciate that,” Root said quietly, pulling her hair up and away from her ear carefully, like she was scared to touch it.

Shaw moved her head closer. It looked like it had healed alright — by some miracle the original cut hadn’t gotten infected, which had been her biggest concern, despite what she told Root. The device didn’t seem to be impacting the healing, and she silently commended whichever doctor Root had forced into working on her.

Her eyes and hands lingered, just for a few seconds. She stared at the incision, at the hearing aid that would only help her hear one voice. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but somewhere between the gunfights and the sacrifices, Root had become one of hers. One of theirs. And the thought of someone else cutting into her, robbing her of one of the things she valued most…

Shaw forced the fire in her chest to simmer as she took a step back, letting Root release her hair and cover the permanent reminder of her time in captivity. “Keep an eye on it,” she told her. “If it ever starts swelling, itching, turning red, steal some antibiotics. I’d tell you which ones, but I have a feeling that voice in your head already knows.”

Root just nodded. Shaw didn’t know what to do with her silence. She usually begged for it, but now that it was here, it felt too…wrong. Almost painful.

“How are you holding up?” She asked, searching for the words she knew most people didn’t have to search for.

“Just got a clean bill of health from my favorite doctor, so I’d say I’m doing alright.” Shaw could hear the attempt to flirt, to lighten up, to deflect. It almost worked.

“You know what I mean, Root. Trauma—“

“—is nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“This is different.”

Root laughed, but it was a broken sound, without an ounce of humor. “Oh, really? How so?”

She knew Root’s agitation wasn’t really aimed at her, but that didn’t stop it from setting her off. “It’s different,” Shaw snapped, “because she took something you can never get back. Bullet wounds will scar for a while and then fade away. This won’t ever fade.”

For two and a half seconds, neither of them spoke. It was Root who broke the silence, who whispered in a way that Shaw could only name as angry, although anger wasn’t quite right: “You think I don’t know that?” Shaw bit her lip when she saw the tears in Root’s eyes, doing their best to stay exactly where they were.

“Root—“

“It’s fine.” Root shook her head. “I have a direct connection to Her now, one they can’t take away. That alone is worth any amount of pain.”

Shaw took a breath, tried to say what she wanted to the right way. “Just because you can make a good thing come out it doesn’t mean you have to pretend like you didn’t lose something.”

Root didn’t speak for a minute, and Shaw was convinced she’d ruined it again, before she sighed. “It was…unnerving. Still is. I walk down the street, and I feel like there’s somebody behind me. And I know that if they were, I’d have no idea unless She told me.” Root shrugged, looking down at her hands. “It’s been a while since I felt that vulnerable.”

Shaw forced the feelings of guilt down her throat. It burned like bile. She thought about Root on the ground, bleeding from her arm, telling her to go, to leave her behind. And she did. And for days, for weeks, after, she had to wait and see if that choice had cost Root her life, had to grapple with the fact that the thought was more than concerning, when six months ago she’d have gladly put a few rounds in her and called it a day. Watching Root, listening to her speak, Shaw decided she wouldn’t make that mistake again. Whatever pain, whatever torture came with being captured by the enemy, she could handle it. She would handle it. It was a promise, one she made to herself and no one else, although she wondered if The Machine somehow knew the thoughts that ran through her head.

“I may not get your obsession with it, but I know The Machine would never leave you unprotected,” Shaw told her, “and if you let us, neither will we.”

This time Root smiled, and it actually reached her eyes. “Why Sameen,” She drawled, “are you saying you’ll be my knight in shining armor?”

Shaw shook her head, but she couldn’t stop the smile from sneaking onto her face. “Get out of here before I change my mind.” Root started to walk away, but she only made it a few steps before Shaw called after her.

“Be careful,” Shaw said when Root turned back toward her. Root froze, before she walked straight to Shaw and kissed her on the cheek. She felt her entire body tense up, but before she could respond Root had backed away. She could feel her cheek heat up where there would surely be a lipstick stain, and she had to force herself not to reach for it.

“Thank you, Sameen.” Roots voice was soft and genuine, and Shaw decided she could give her this moment. Just this once.

#please let me know what u think!#i love that shit #root x shaw #root #sameen shaw #poi #person of interest #tflao3 #fanfic #poi fanfic #fanfiction #shoot

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