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tenthcrowley · 1 year

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BINDER

Bucky Barnes x Trans!Reader (he/they)

Request: None.

Fandom: MCU.

Genre: Little angst but fluff at the end.

Words: 1370

Summary: You haven't been feeling great lately, you haven't been feeling any positive at all. After a rough day at work someone finally notice your mood.

TW: Faking happiness, intense crying (just the noise of throwing things and groans), old binder not binding enough now, reader's looks like a MESS, and just fluff? idk

This was just awful. Since you woke up you knew the day will suck. You didn't have motivation for anything and you were just sick of feeling like this. You sighed now laying down on the couch of the living room in the Avengers building. You remember the first time you entered hhere, it was like a kid with a bunch of brand new toys. Just that the kid didn't had to fight constantly.

"You okay?" You didn't realize when you had closed your eyes, wow you must be really exhausted. You open them and look up at Steve who had a concerning look in his face.

"Yeah, yeah, just... very tired." You try to smile at him but it's most like a disgusted face. He chuckled. He knows you, he knows you're stubborn and never admit you're dying to have some rest. You remind him of his younger self. Younger in like before he was frozen, but technically he hasn't changed because, again, technically he's still a young man. Never mind, he thinks you look like him when he was trying to join the war, strong, insistent, brave and a little (much) stubborn.

"Go on. Get a shower and sleep. Some rest will do you well."

You roll your eyes as you got up from the couch.

"Yes, dad." He laughs while you're leaving to your room.

You were really good at faking, lying. Everyone would think you're living the best moment of your life while you're internally dying. You're so good to put a fake smile on your face and hide all of your pain. Pain. God, when will you stop feeling pain? When will you feel free, happy.

Steve looked at your way still when you had left. Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder to get him off of his trance.

"You okay?"

Rogers nod. "I am. He's not. They say they're okay but it's just not true. I don't know why he cannot trust me yet." He's sad. Because he really loves you, you're like kind of a little brother to take care of and seeing you this way, seeing you in pain but not telling, faking, hiding it, not trusting him. It hurt his heart a lot. "They will tell you, tho." That's true. (Y/N) is always honest to Bucky. When (Y/N) opens to him, they ask him to remain silence about it. He does. But Steve wasn't born yesterday, he knew they tell each other almost everything. Didn't know what exactly but that's not of his business and he gets it.

"Uh, I can't try." The black haired man left his friend alone in the living and made his way to your room. He wasn't gonna show it, but he was very worried about you. You are really important to him, you take a big place in his heart and viceversa.

Before he can knock, he hears groans and sobs with violently punches to things, not things that can break tho. Bucky sighs and finally knocks, instantly the noise stops.

"It's me."

The door immediately opens and (Y/N)'s hand reaches him to pull him inside the room and closing the door again. When Bucky turns, your eyes are red and swollen from crying, dried tears on your cheeks being replaced by new ones, your hair is all messed up like you just got out of a street fight, but what caught his attention the most was that you were shirtless, scratching your arms without causing any injuries but leaving your skin red and burning, you were in just your binder, in your old and worn binder. Now he knows why you were all shut the entire day, you were having dysphoria the whole fucking day. He understood, being around cisgender men all day could be tough for you, he didn't know you feel, but he understood. Plus you haven't bought a binder in like a year so it's stretched out and old, which means it doesn't tightness like it used to.

No words needed for when he opens his arms and you ran to hug him. He squeezes you and puts his nose on the top of your head. You love that. His hugs are different than the rest. Despite his metal arm, his hugs are comfy and warm, it brings you back to Earth instantly, they make you feel safe and like home. Minutes passed and you just hug. He never let you go making you the one to break the wrap when you feel it's been enough. So he just stays, smelling your hair knowing you just showered and maybe that's another reason why you're like this, since your binder it's not wet you didn't wore it to get showered. Finally you pull out the hug now calmed.

"Do you want to explain it me? If not, that's okay, I understand." He smiles at you, looking directly at your eyes.

You feel your heart warm and you sigh. You've been in the Avengers for like a year now and it's been impossible to not fall for Bucky. You avoided him, all the time! But that bastard always found a way to come back to your life. Until one day you stopped fighting and just gave up to the idea of having him around almost all the time, making you fall really hard. And stuff like this, this situation right now, everytime he comes and calms you down, he gives you a kiss on the forehead, when he hugs you, when you compliments you, stuff like this makes you confuse and it's like playing with your emotions. You know Bucky doesn't realize that so at least you can be obvious about your feelings for him and he will just never know.

"I need a new binder." Being honest? That's the only thing you could say right now. You wanted to explain to him but... you couldn't. It's like if you say how you feel, all the calmness he gave you would fly away like a feather in a rough wind. Simple as that.

"Okay. We can get you one." He smiled again and you felt melting. You adore the way he smiles. He stepped closer and gave you a kiss on your forehead but staying inches from your face.

You looked at him. You wanted to kiss him so bad. So so bad. So you did, excepting that could say all your words can't. For your surprise he responded the kiss with the same sweetness and caring. You both blushed because you understood each other. This kiss speaks more than a million words and you get it. It feels like you both needed it, you both needed to let out all the sentiment you've been keeping and couldn't express. Your hands were at the sides of your body and so his. You didn't want to touch each other, at least not yet. The kiss finally broke and you could look at each other's eyes, another thing you understood.

"So you...?" He said.

"Yes." You answered fast. "You?"

"Yeah." You both giggled and finally looked at each other. You saw his blue eyes that were like a sky in a plenty summer, clear, shining and beautiful. There was love in his eyes you could tell. You smiled for real for the first time in days. You felt happy after so long. You wanted to cry of happiness, not just because Bucky feels the same way about you but because you're finally feeling good, at least for a moment.

"Go on, put a shirt on and we will go out to buy you a new binder." He said giving you a kiss on the forehead and then walking to your bedroom door.

"Really?" You said trying to hide your excitement.

He looked at you and nod smiling before leaving.

You smile got even bigger as you grabbed any t-shirt you liked to put it on then fix your hair to finally come out. You're being happy. Even if Bucky was already there for you before, somehow, now it feels even better, have him by your side like more than a friend it felt different. You felt different. Different good.

#bucky barnes x male reader #bucky barnes #marvel x male reader #marvel #x male reader #mcu #trans reader #bucky barnes x male!reader #bucky barnes x trans reader #bucky x male reader #bucky x reader #bucky x trans reader

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candycane969 · 6 months

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✨🎧🌆ROTTMNT DONATELLO HEADCANONS🌆🎧✨

made by me! candy! :3 no major spoilers

A quick guide!✨

💜 - Supported by canon (things that are pretty sure out there, maybe not confirmed 100% but yeah)

❤ - Kind of supported by canon (things that happened in the series that miiiight lead to some other stuff)

🧡 - My source is that I made it the fuck up (still trying to fit it into the character tho)

⭐ - Not sure if I'm taking this headcanon or not, but I do think It's pretty neat

💋 - Kinky! DISCLAIMER: Ive always seen the rottmnt boys (and April) in the age group from 17 to 19 and thats what I headcanon them as (as it is my own age group!). Ive seen the show and was fucking sure theyre my age and then a month or two later I was slapped in the face with thier actual age lol. I dont support any pedo shit, I also dont think minors can consent. Just putting it out there

Lets go!🌆💜🎧⭐✨

The 'Tism

• 💜 I think Its pretty fucking obvious that this boy is autistic, pretty much everything in the show supports this.

• ❤ Donny's headgear also works as noise cancelling headphones! He's often overwhelmed by background sounds and his gear makes it easier for him to live his life (either on missions or just spending time with his brothers and/or April). He still loves blasting his music on the highest volume tho. It's different when you consent to hearing your jams then when several people are talking at once and youre going crazy.

Tagging as kind of canon because he might have audio sensory issues because of his autism and you can reraly see him without the damn googles.

Different stims

❤ Foot stomping

❤ Hand flapping

🧡 Repeating a song/part of song over and over (yes, even if it has no words)

❤ Spinning on chairs

🧡 Pacing around the lab/the lair

• 💜 He knows ASL! Though It's never said in the show why he learned it, I believe that because he goes nonverbal often. Everyone in the lair can sign a bit because of that, but not everybody is too good at it. Donatello can communicate in ASL fluently.

Gender

• 🧡 Donatello never really felt connected to being "a men" and categorising things as "for boys" and "for girls" always seemed dumb to him. Shortly after Leo's coming out as a trans men (SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON) he went to talk to him about his gender experience. After some thinking and digging, Don came to the conclusion that he is in fact nonbinary. He still uses mostly male pronounces but always appreciates gender neutral pronounces coming his way.

Sexuality

• 🧡 While realising his own gender he also figured out that he doesn't really sees gender that seriously in others either. Men or women, its pretty much whatever to him. He doesn't like to label himself much when it comes to his sexuality, he accepts reffering to him as a pansexual or bisexual.

• 🧡 When it comes to dating Donatello doesn't imagine himself with anyone, really. He finds himself attractive, but doesn't think anyone would fancy him in a romantic way. He's not interessted much in dating either way. But he doesn't exclude dating someone in the future. It's just he won't go out of his way to look for love.

• ❤/🧡 Its obvious Don is a men of science, he's a genius when it comes to coding, math, engineering, I would say chemistry as well. Thats the field he feels the most comfortable in, but he loves learning new things in general. As long as there is interesting knowledge he can obtain, he will be there, soaking it like a sponge. He likes listening to info dumps, and probably listens to long ass video essays and/or podcasts.

• 🧡 Don likes to learn about others people hobbys and takes interest in learning about it. He likes showing others that he cares about something, even though Its something totally indifferent to him. For example, he knows lot about art making process from Mikey (Angelo even made him paint with him a couple of times!) even tho he doesn't really likes drawing and/or famous artists. No many people appreciate his work so he wants to show his appreciation to others.

• 💜 He is pretty low empathy most of the time. It's hard for him to relate to others, and can often feel like someone is overreacting. It's also challenging for him to put his feelings "out there". Which often makes him look unloving or unfriendly. And it couldn't be farther from the truth. He loves his brothers even though they bother him most of the time. And he loves April as well (though she never really troubled him much). He never really thinks that his low empathy is a flaw (more often he thinks about it as a blessing) but there rare are moment when he feels helpless because of it. He is glad that his family knows that he truly cares about them (and accepts any effort he puts in to express his feelings, even if it seems small).

• 🧡⭐ I've seen people headcanoning Donny as a baker and honestly I like it a lot. Cooking is Mikeys domain, and it suits him well, as it allows a lot of freestyling and just overall feeling. Baking and pastry making is very calculated and one miatake can ruin the whole thing. It reminds Don of engineering in a sense. Also baking is an easy way to get love and appreciation from his family because, cmon, he just made the most angelic fruit tarts in the whole universe, of course they're going to praise him. It also works as a stress relief. When feeling stumped and/or overwhelmed over a project or a situation he'll make something easy like brownies to get his mind of it.

• 🧡 He's very sentimental. He loves receiving gifts and will cherish and use them (even if he doesn't like it). He still has every "gamers dont die they respawn" Tshirt and every "dont fuck with my brother he was born in october and has autism" mug. Sometimes he REALLY wants to throw something away but god damn it this is painting Mikey did when he was ten and is just five splats of paint and thinking about him somehow finding out and crying about it might destroy him forever.

• 🧡⭐ This bitch reads fanfics, thats it. It started when he was around 13 or smth with Atomic Lass x Reader and now he knows all the fanfic lingo. He still might read something from time to time and writes very long and well written comments (with constructive criticism).

• 🧡 Speaking of which, Don writes perfect sentences while texting. All the correct spelling and punctuation. He also communicates with emojis and gifs like a millenial.

Food, TW: drinking!

• 🧡 He has a rather strong head, you cant make him drunk that easily. But when it finally happens, youre in for a ride. Shutting him up is near impossible, he will talk non-stop but with much less eloquence then while sober. Its extremely easy to make him laugh, so Leo absolutely loves it. He often looses track of what hes saying and starts completely different rant. Overall a chaotic mess. Really fun to witness it at least once. His beverage of choice is either fun cocktails or beer (tho rarely and/or only with some kind of juice because he doesn't like the fizziness on his tongue).

• 🧡 And that takes us to Donatello that hates fizzy drinks. He hates carbonated beverages, no matter if its cola or champagne. The feeling on his tongue and in his mouth makes him really uncomfortable. When there is no other choice but to drink up some bubbless, he leaves it open for as long as he can to get rid of them. His brothers despise him for that.

• 🧡 He doesn't like weird food combos either and is rather picky. When ordering food Don sticks to what he knows not to risk an uncomfortable texture touching his mouth. Texture is the most often reason for him not liking a specific food. Donnys pretty strict to preparing food as well (the way he does a thing is The Correct Way and no other exception is acceptable). Also he puts milk first so his cereal doesn't get soggy.

• 🧡 I feel like he likes fruit juices in boxes and fruit mousses but this is pretty random 🤷

• ❤/🧡 He wears contacts! We've seen little Donny with glassess, so I assumed he wears contacts now. When he knows he will be spending all day in the lair (for example because of an injury) he still has a pair of glassess he uses. And yes, he tapes them to the head. Because he rarely ever wears them, he never came up with a solution for not having ears and needing glassess.

• 🧡 ABSOLUTELY hates smoking. Will go on a rant if he sees someone he knows smoking. He absolutely despises the smell and WILL take it out of someones mouth/hand and throw it away. Appreciates the fun smells of vapes but still hates them. Will call vapers losers (maybe not exacly in these words but he will for sure).

• 🧡 Really good at makeup, but not as good as Leo is (ANOTHER SURPRISE LEO HEADCANON). He spend years perfecting his eyebrows of course. He also wears eyeliner because serving cunt is important even on the battlefield. From time to time you can see his nails painted as well.

• 🧡⭐ While being flustered or simply distracted he stutters a lot, mostly in a way of repeating whole words or parts of a sentence ("Its good because- Its good- Its good because I um- Its good-")

• 🧡 Enjoys taking very long baths, and actually prefers them much more then showers. Can stay underwater for a rather long time as well!! Being fully submerged calms him down a lot and its overall very relaxing for him.

• 🧡⭐ Ive seen a lot of takes that without his battle shell, he is really flexible (due to having a soft shell). And I like the idea. I think, that before sitting infront of a screen (or a desk in general) to do his work for several hours he stretches deeply so his back won't be so sore later. Also a reason to draw Donny in yoga poses and thats always cool.

• ❤ Makes up shit to fuck with his brothers. Like just spreading misinformation and gaslighting them for shit and giggles. Or to get them to leave him alone for a while. Also will gaslight them if they somehow find out that he was lying ("what? you must have heard me wrong then 🙄💅")

• 💜/❤ Loves singing and dancing!!! Aint the best singer (tho I love his songs in the show Im kissing him as we speak) but is a gorgeous dancer! He finds it incredibly fun and feels fabulous while doing it. Also Im pretty sure dancing counts as stimming so add it to the list. Dances solo like 90% of the time but really enjoys dancing in pairs (dances with April a whole lot when they get the chance!).

• ❤ He rarely laughs out loud, but when he does it is loud and messy. A good joke can make him think about it all day and continue laughing for a long time. Not my og take, Ive seen this headcanon before and I love it so so much :3

• 🧡 From all his brothers, he kind of wishes to be human the most of them all. Its not a big big wish, he does think of himself as very unique individual and takes pride of being a mutant. But sometimes while hanging out with April he can get lost in his thoughts of "what ifs". Maybe in the process of making a cloaking accessory.

• 🧡 His handwriting is god-awful. All scribly and fucked up like Doctors writing. Unfamiliar eye would not decipher a word out of it, but Don knows exactly what everything means. But he mostly writes digitally.

• ❤ Dons dislike of hugging is canon, but I do believe he likes being touched on his head and face (head pats, cheek rubs, scratches). He enjoys hand holding when it's appropriate as well.

• 💋 Im headcanoning the boys to go through mating season once a year (except mikey cuz he small) everyone at a different time. It would be similiar to an ovulation but much more horny (with also fever symptoms). Don would be the second after Raph to get it. While in heat he doesn't go feral or anything, but after a few days stops working because he cant focus on his craft. Waves of sudden temperature changes (mostly high heat) with really horny thoughts and hypersensitivity to pretty much everything...yeah not the best work environment. He spends his most intensive days closed off in his lab or room because he really doesn't want his family to see him like this (the rest of the turtles are in thier rooms during thier mating time as well for the same reason). Also add being possessive while having a SO, and also veeery easy to irritate.

• 💋 Donny takes on a more submissive role while being intimate, even though he loves to be in charge all the time. But he isn't a bottom either, I would put him perfectly in the middle as a switch (more leaning on that sub part tho).

• 💋 His biggest turn on is smell. Like someones natural smell, no perfumes and all. He likes to snuggle in the crook of the neck and take it all in. This becomes cranked up to eleven during mating season, as he absolutely cannot stop sniffing. Would love his significant other to leave him clothes with thier smell on it and sleep and/or snuggle with it.

Might add more later but thats all for now :3💜

Hope you enjoyed it⭐✨

#If you think Ive misrepresented him or something is clashing with canon let me know #going to make Leo headcanons soon cuz I have a lot I love him #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #tmnt #donatello #text #rise donnie #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #donatello headcanons #headcanons #donnie headcanons #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt donatello #writing #rise donatello #rise headcanons

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d4t-webserial · 9 months

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D4T: Page 6 (Alice POV)

//cw: transphobic slur// go here for more info on d4t

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Alice’s been able to get Lu to hang out very often (pretty much whenever they both have free time ;p). Having this large amount of time in person she’s been able to realize some more things about him.

First off he isn’t a chaser… well he is in that he’s a “man” (we’ll get into that later) who likes trannies, but he doesn’t fit with… what you'd call the stereotype of “chaser”, but that’s not what made her come to this conclusion. No, it’s whenever she calls him a chaser he’ll visibly cringe, most men who are shameless enough to use 4chan *and* openly admit to dating tgirls are more than comfortable using chaser to describe themselves, so something about it has gotta be off to him. Secondly he’s really feminine like *super*, don’t get her wrong she wasn’t one of those weirdy homophobic girls who usually call themselves allies but would rather their boyfriend cheat on them than be bisexual, and she always knew Lu wasn’t exactly… super masculine (the idea of him doing typical straight man posturing was both ridiculous… and upsetting), but he’s *so* feminine in how he holds himself and talks... and honestly even his body (his hands are so smooth). This leads her to a simple conclusion, he isn’t *really* a chaser but instead a repper in denial (honestly she should have seen this sooner it’s a classic chaser archetype), now other girls usually talk about these chasers as bad and to be avoided, she didn’t know if this was cause there was something inherently bad about your boyfriend trooning out on you or is it’s just about the gender, due to not knowing she assumes the latter and luckily for her she’s a **massive** bishit (she has decided this as of now) and if he (or should she switch to "she"?... nah, she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt) takes the pinkpill she can still make him her girlfriend… unless he was straight technically but he obviously isn’t (he’s the dictionary definition of agp t4t transbian… except he isn’t into diapers… she hopes).

While hanging out they tended to fall into an interesting pattern whether it’s at her house in her room or at his dorm when his roommate’s out, he’ll sit at some large but not too noticeable distance away from her (he isn’t as subtle as he thinks), then while they’re talking or watching one of his shows or playing video games (well he plays she just watches, unless it’s mario kart she’s the fucking best at mario kart) she’ll move ever so closer, bit by bit so he can pull back if he wants (he never does) until she’s right next to him, she doesn’t go overboard only the sorta interactions that’d make sense for… completely platonic friends (but like… gal pal friends). Whenever she leans on him he stops making much sense like his brain is malfunctioning, and she can totally hear his heartbeat. One time she caught him looking at her and could’ve swore he was gonna kiss her… but he didn’t, ever since then he’s been a bit more distant, not much tho… just, a bit.

gsrtgsgkgnrstlhnrturwlj okay… okay… it’s okay… she’ll just wait for him to be ready, she’s okay with that, he’ll make a move… eventually,... but he *is* autistic like sooooo autistic, he might not know she’d like it, maybe if she told him… oh god…

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “hey lu”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “hi”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i have smth i wanna tell u”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “what is it?”

she starts typing

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “if you want to date i would like that”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “oh”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i kno u said u werent dating a while back i just”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “if u wanted to kno i guess”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “i’m detrans”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “what?”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “i was a trans girl for,, a while, but i stopped”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “i kno tht”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “or i didn’t kno u were but i kno what detran means”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “why?”

Too anxious to wait for a response she put her phone down… fuck, he’s a detransitioner. What does that mean? Like why tho… the only detransitioners she’d seen were the bald ones on twitter saying she was in a cult, she didn’t even know trans women detransitioned, well like obviously they do at least one did, but like… she hadn’t thought about it. Is he like… one of those ex-gay people, using her in the same way an “ex” gay uses anonymous hookups on grindr to satisfy some repressed desire. Did he think his body was mutilated, or that hers was? Why did he identify as a chaser, or go on /tttt/? Did he actually like trans girls… she had thought he did but was “chaser” just an excuse to be a cis man in trans spaces? He always seemed so supportive, but she thought detransitioners hated the trans community for “ruining” their bodies. Did he hate all trans people or only himself… Was he still the same person, Her Lu?

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#d4t #webnovel #web fiction #webfiction #web serial #webserial #romance #queer #trans #transgender #detrans #alice #alice d4t #alice d4twebnovel #d4t-webserial

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faithlesbian · 1 year

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trans angel thesis post

so me and @titsgirlbuffy on our joint watch noticed this line (in my header image!) from btvs s1e7 and immediately thought hehehe well he said he’s not a man, that means He’s Trans. partly due to the existing bank of star trek characters who clearly meant they werent human but just happened to phrase it a certain way -- its great fun to just take these lines out of context and run with them

[ID: angel in a darkly lit scene saying “I can walk like a man, but I’m not one.”]

the thing is tho the further we got the more trans angel material we kept finding. like we weren’t even looking it was just There. so it went from basically a joke to the actual lens through which we’re now watching ats so. here’s the trans angel thesis post i guess!

so obviously this line was intended to mean hes a demon. its from the episode where we first find out hes a vampire, so the writers are clearly using “not a man” to mean “not a human being” as mentioned before. but then there’s the flashbacks in ats s1e15 to when he was alive and definitely human which...

[ID: three screenshots of angel and his father in 1700s dress. his father says “It’s a son I wished for! A man! Instead, God gave me you.” while Angel looks hurt]

i remember another post (which i will try and find and link to) saying that darla was trapped by societal confines of womanhood and she was drawn to angel bc he was being crushed by societal expectations of masculinity -- “being a man” was something he resoundingly failed at in life. crucially also his birth name, Liam, is left off his headstone and no one ever calls him it again. in contrast to spike for example, who still responds to William, Angel seems to consider Liam to effectively be his deadname (which is funny yk given he only used it when he was alive), and both of his chosen names, Angelus and Angel, are much less masculine.

spike regularly refers to himself as a man, he also sometimes acknowledges that he’s not technically a man meaning not human, but for him this is paired with wishing he could be a man (”i know that i’m a monster, but you treat me like a man” btvs s5e22, “to be a kind of man...” s7e22). in every sense masculinity isn’t something that seems to cause him any kind of distress to be associated with, and while he still has a fascinating relationship to gender i think you’d be hard pushed to say he doesn’t identify as male (tho i’d love to hear any takes on that!!).

on the other hand, here we have one of the few times angel willingly refers to himself as a man in btvs s3e10

[ID: two screenshots of angel, crying and facing buffy, saying “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”]

if there is a part of himself that he sees as a man, its something he associates with guilt, failure and weakness. obviously there’s other layers to this scene but i do think the word choice is interesting!!

and then theres what i consider one of the seminal trans angel episodes, ats s2e6. first of all he admits that he changes his appearance based on how he wants other people to see him, that he’s worried about what they think. the character he’s talking to in these scenes tells him since he doesn’t have an actual reflection, his outward appearance only matters when considering the people around him, and that there’s two versions of him -- “the image you’ve worked so hard to create, and the real you.”

[ID: Angel, looking concerned and saying “Maybe my persona is a little affected”]

his outward - masculine - presentation is something he maintains for the sake of what others think of him, it’s not an authentic expression of who he is (see this post by @buffyology on how he literally seems to get his whole wardrobe directly from mens fashion magazines). also in this episode, he refers to the aspects of himself that he’s repressing as “it” -- dehumanising but also degendering the things he doesn’t want to come to the surface

[ID: four screenshots of dialogue between angel and another character out of frame. he asks angel “it?” to which angel responds “the demon.” the other character then says “ah. But the demon is you.” angel says “no”, the other character responds “yes. That’s the thing you’ve spent so much energy trying to conceal.”]

he explicitly labels the things about himself he’s afraid of other people seeing with a genderless pronoun, lumping in the demonic aspects of himself alongside the other things being hidden by his artificial masculine outward presentation. he hates himself for being a vampire, and for having done awful things in the past, but also for failing to live up to the expectations of masculinity that he’s still hollowly trying to perform now as he was when he was alive.

masculinity is tied to humanity which is tied to morality -- he ascribes the bad parts of himself to “the demon” which is also genderless, he equates his failure to be a good person with his failure to be a man. in ats s1e15 his father tells him he’s neither a son nor a man, and later on in the same episode darla tells a freshly turned angelus that he’ll never be able to get his father’s approval and that his defeat will last lifetimes -- he’s still trying to prove himself a man and he’s never going to succeed. in ats s2e5 we get this exchange as darla burns angel with a cross

[ID: three screenshots of a standoff between angel and darla, in the first two he holds her by the throat while she burns him with a crucifix. she says “See? No matter how good a boy you are... God doesn’t want you.” In the third screenshot she stands apart and says “But I still do.”]

Darla's word choice in this scene also links masculinity to morality and humanity - essentially saying he will never be a good enough person nor perform masculinity convincingly enough to be accepted by anyone but her, because he's a vampire and he can't change this fact of who his is.

but it’s not a moral failing not to want to be a man, and as much as angel tries to hide and repress it it’s still going to come through because it’s just who he is. while trying his best to Look like a man, he’s still finding ways to assert his identity through his choice of name and aversion to gendered language

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “More than you might think, Mr. Angel.” “Just Angel”]

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.” “Could you not call me that?”] And then there’s this scene where he’s talking about the differences between him and Cordelia and like, i get the joke but also. come on. he cannot commit to calling himself a man without chickening out

[ID: two screenshots dodgily cropped and stitched together to just show subtitles - “Human. Vampire. Woman. Man... pire.”] admittedly most of these lines have fairly obvious intended meanings and me and @titsgirlbuffy were likely picking up on the subtext mostly because we were watching both shows through this lens. it could be argued as a niche reading - up until ats s3e6 that is, in which there’s a guy called Billy who can curse men to become fucked up and evil, who tries to curse Angel, only for him to be immune. A curse. That only affects men. to which he is, randomly, immune.

[ID: four screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “[Cordelia] I don’t get it.” Angel replies “I don’t get it, either.” and Cordelia continues “I mean, you’re a man, so, why didn’t Billy’s touch affect you?”] I cannot stress enough that they genuinely didn’t have a good reason -- whoever wrote this episode hadn’t come up with a decent explanation as to why angel was immune to the Curse That Affects Men. This is not a great episode but I do consider it to be basically canon confirmation that Angel at the very least isn’t cis.So to conclude, Angel is nonbinary/transfemme and has been trying and failing to perform masculinity well enough to hide this since he was alive. He objects to being called masculine terms and almost never refers to himself as a man, he changed his name to something more androgynous and refuses to go by his old name, and he admits to dressing and acting a certain way to seem more normal and masculine in other people’s eyes. He associates the parts of himself that he hates, fears, and represses, with genderlessness. And he is immune to a curse that only affects men. thank you for reading this long fucking post!

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sweagen · 8 months

Text

Working on a crazy theory BUT—

Man and woman: no more

Trans people are God’s pilot

To show that people can do both, and live a life more in-line with their identity

ALSO, trans people have always been around and existing in history, there have always been people who don’t fit neatly into the gender binary. In past generations, people just kinda embraced the unique aspects of themselves but still just lived their life as their assigned gender at birth and fit in as best as they could

It’s just finally becoming known and recognized as a ‘thing!’ For people to be able to discover the gender of their soul.., and be able to live their gendered life out in the world, as they have chosen? That is a great boon, it’s a freedom and a kindness that should be available to all …at least to be able to explore and understand themselves! And I think I might be trans… but it’s a side of myself I never wanted to acknowledge in any significant way before now. I’ve lived my IRL life as a man for 29 years. I’ve struggled to understand and develop my identity and live in the world as a man.

I’m not unfamiliar with other ways of being tho.., Once s*xuality finally clicked into place I was okay!!!! Most people who have ever liked me have been trans men or at least queer!!!! We are just who we are and who God has created us to be!!! To accept this burden, and freedom, is also a challenge to live authentically: for trans people who have fully come to terms with themselves, you’ve learned to navigate the world as both a woman, and a man. That’s something deep and that a lot of people may never quite understand on that same level!!!!! They can only see things from one side of the equation or one side of society...

When and whether trans people become fully accepted in society now or never, the truth remains: trans people are uniquely equipped to understand the nature of gender struggles currently ravaging society. They understand the heart of the conflict, the challenges both men and women face. Trans people are intimately aware of the barriers to connection facing the world today!!! And will probably end up being the ones to save it… and for people not interested in directly saving the world, if you’re living the identity that feels most right to you, while striving to live an authentic witness of Christ’s Love, you’re already doing more for the cause than you know!!!!

Ok I ended up typing quite a bit but as I said this is a work in progress!!! Still I would like to share what I have so far, please weigh in if you have any thoughts as well as I love to hear from people!

#will talk more about this later #still figuring out how the pieces might fit together #trans #trans rights #transgender #pilot #theory

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butch-reidentified · 7 months

Note

What do you think of this

https://www.tumblr.com/feminist-fog/722630344826847232/the-funniest-thing-to-me-rn-is-seeing-transphobic

I'm gonna respond to this as if I share your belief that it's easy to disguise your sex and that tons of trans people are doing this all the time, but it's worth noting that I really don't. Anyone can select and post a bunch of pictures, which may be edited for all we know, but are certainly deliberately posed and carefully selected by the subject before being shared online. Pictures do not reflect real life "passing," especially since these pictures don't show the full body and since a large part of "passing" is in the voice, intonation, mannerisms, and behaviors.

I don't blindly believe stuff like this. This is one single anonymous post that feeds right into a popular TRA narrative claiming that "transphobic" women would have an issue with trans men in women's bathrooms. Respectfully, one single anonymous post does not mean anything to me. If OP is going to claim that this phenomenon is really happening (and by happening, I don't just mean once or twice, but rather to claim that it's an actual phenomenon and an issue worth paying attention to), then OP should provide more & better receipts than this. It's the internet. We've all seen far too many fake posts that look rather similar to this, where someone allegedly is having their politics backfire on them. I've seen similar content where a supposed anti-choicer is being criminally charged for having a miscarriage and mourning how wrong she was to celebrate the end of Roe. It had zero outside sources to make it believable, yet I saw a lot of (intelligent!) women sharing it. That stuff is insidious. And I will be honest with you, the way this post is written/worded makes me suspicious. "This person looks so weird. Like they look super masculine. They even have a beard and everything." This just sounds so fake to me, it sounds like something a TRA would THINK a "transphobic woman" would say, not like how I ever hear radfems/gc women talk (can't really speak for conservatives/trads tho bc I don't fw them so idk, but from screenshots I've seen and whatnot it doesn't sound much like them, either). It especially doesn't sound like anything any radfem would ever say for the reasons I detail in #2.

If this did happen, it must be some conservative trad type, NOT a radfem/gc feminist. Why? Simply put, because conservatives/trads want to reinforce gender, so they aren't thrilled with the existence of unfeminine women, whereas we want gender abolished, so we love gender nonconformity. Our communities are FULL of gnc women, including detrans women, many of whom still look the same as they did when they identified as trans - despite the weird narrative I often see, "FTMTF" detransition does not inherently entail becoming feminine and/or performing feminine gender roles, stereotypes, and expectations. Radfem ideology being opposed to gender and viewing femininity as an oppressive construct means a large portion of our communities will be gnc women who don't shave or wear makeup, who have short & practical hair/nails, who wear baggy shorts and sneakers, etc. I myself do all of this, have had a mastectomy, was briefly on T in the past (and thus have a little facial hair and a deeper voice), and have stereotypically masculine behaviors/mannerisms. Many people have mistaken me for male. Do you think I have a problem with myself in the bathroom? I don't buy this narrative TRAs have about how trans men and gnc women would/do have issues in bathrooms from "transphobic" women because I've looked like this for many years and never had so much as a nasty look - and I go out ALL the time, at least multiple nights a week downtown + going to all kinds of places and events during the day. I also have a tiny bladder, so if any "masc" (hate this term tbh) woman was going to run into this issue in a public restroom, I'd be shocked it was never me.

So, yes, I don't technically know if this is fake or not, no matter how odd it seems to me, but regardless of whether it's real, I find it very hard to believe that this is happening with any degree of significance. And whatever degree it is actually happening is the doing of conservatives/trads, who presumably were already doing that to gnc women (including butch, trans-identifying, etc) before the whole trans bathroom debate was even a thing, and would/will continue to do this to those same women whether or not the trans discourse existed at all. Bottom line here: this isn't about trans stuff; it's about gender nonconformity which happens to include trans stuff. And if you are sending me this because you think I could ever be one of those women, joke's on you bc I'm on the exact opposite side of this story 😅

#mine #ask #long post #anon #anon ask

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smolltpup · 1 year

Text

Big important post to know boundaries and all!

I am a 20+ year old autistic trans man, I think so far I may be a sub for the most part, but I’m still exploring that stuff. Feel free to call me Oddity if you need to use a name for me.

Do note I do have a partner but it’s a open relationship, everything is consensual, and they will hear about you lol

Things/kinks i live and die for with absolute conviction

• praise (the most important one and the most nonnegotiable out of all of these)

• marking

• possessive tendencies

• manhandling

• shotgunning

• teaching/corruption (this is also just so…..hhhhhhgggggg)

• cockwarming

•petplay

•body worship (so far me doing it to someone else)

• voice kink….a very strong one

•overstimulation

The things I’m exploring and would definitely not say no to that I’ll post about.

•breeding (no prego tho)

•doll/toy play (seems interesting ngl)

• light to mid degradation (call me a slut and a whore and make fun of how desperate I am as long as you say how proud you are of me for being said things)

Things that will be more vague in posts (if I even bring them up), but will include warnings in the tags, feel free to Dm these things to me

•some cnc

•somno

•slight intoxication (gotta be the both of us)

My absolute no’s

•feminization

•misgendering/detrans

• scat, lots of blood

• heavy degradation

• gunplay (we practice gun safety in this household)

•ageplay

•calling someone/me daddy/mommy (funny story if you wanna ask why)

• can only call me baby if you know me very very well

Into all genders around here, though tend to lean more t4t (includes non-binary people btw) so I’ll probably focus more on that side of things.

Dni if you’re a: minor/underage (aka under 18), Republican/right leaning, bigoted (racist/sexist/ableist/queerphobic/etc.), straight men, detrans and trying to get me out of the “gender cult” (if your detrans and that’s your personal choice but understand that I’m happy to be trans feel free to stay <3), MAPs. If you’re not any of these feel free to message me or talk!

When I say dick in my posts I also equally mean strap when talking in a sexual context

Lists will expand and be altered as I continue to explore and figure stuff out, hope you enjoy yourself around here!

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booksandpaperss · 2 years

Text

Idk this may be a hot take but, I feel like the trans girl Mike headcanon kinda erases all his mlm coding. Bc like, his coding isn’t just queer, it’s pretty specifically mlm.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m very much a he/they non binary Mike truther, I just think that the trans girl hcs erase his identity yk?

Also like… Will is canonically gay. He does not at all like girls romantically, so when I see byler shippers who hc Mike as as trans girl that feels like it’s either erasing Will’s sexuality, or implying that ppl exclusively attracted to men can still like trans girls, which… yeah no. 😐

I normally don’t have any issue with different gender headcanons cuz like, this is a fandom and we’re all gay here anyway. But it’s just this hc in particular that makes me a lil 🤨🤨🤨

And btw I’m non binary so it’s not like I’m saying this as a cis person lol

I’m not mlm or a trans girl tho, so if you are and you have some thoughts on this I’d love to hear them <3

#just keep things respectful plz #byler #byler tumblr #mike wheeler is queer #mike wheeler headcanons

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trixeraptops · 1 year

Text

My second ever commentary post how fun

This time it's Enola Holmes 2

This is a live reaction so there is no context, suffer.

Warnings for swearing and all capsAnyways let's hop in the carriage and travel back to Victorian(?) England.

Ooh letter burning for the logo fun

Ok I doubt any of this is true don't lie to me bitch

Why is she running away from the police?What did she do

I will say she looks good

Yeah you should explain and I do remember you

Oh yay she opened a detective agency

Awww she kept Dash how cute

But didn't she give it Sherlock in the end of the last movie?

She forgot how sexist and ageist her time period is lmao

Hah they all just want Sherlock221B!!!!!

Trying not to draw attention, blows up a mailbox

Tewksbury is champion for change and progress I love it

Girl you have time for a little distraction you fucking tsundere

Chrysanthe-mum

Oh her agency is already shut down

2who is it

Aw a little girl she's so. Cute I love her scarf

Ooh the cinematic shot

Enola looks so out of place lol

I hope this is pro Bono I don't think this girl has much

Enola don't look so put off, not everyone is rich as you

Ew rat

We weren't sisters in the usual way, love that

It soesnt mean anything to the Lil one but to Mae it clearly does

Aw this is so sweet

The game is afoot Jesus your finding a missing person not hunting one

Changed her name to Hilda

They're looking for disease at the entrance omg

Bruv you're gonna get yourself and bessie in trouble bruv

That was smart tho

Ooh torn pages that's sus

She stole the pages?

Oh that woman has such a soft voice it's so pretty but I can't hear her

Mae definetely knows somethingMae was involves in the theft o.o

Haha 'young lady I'm afraid I'm married'

Damn she's in a bar and it's fucking rowdy in here

Mae is a showgirl isn't she?

She is

That was a fun jaunty number

The missing worked with Mae as a showgirl

Jesus Mae

Lol fake knife

False bottom! I knew she was a top lmao

It's a sappy romance poem

She ran away to marry someone didnt she?Ooh drama

Dun dunbdun mysterious blurred fellow in the background

Ew he's following her

He hid but he's very loud what is cane made of metal?

Sherlock! He's drunk

Lol roasted

His bullshit tips are everything

Now sh I'm thinking you should write that down

You shouldn't get so drunk ehen you have no way home write that down

Wait is she gonna live with her brother or is this is a John reveal?

Jesus christ he's really fucking observant even when drunk and hungover

I don't need tour help! But I'm still taking the food you offered

Don't speak with a mouthful

Tewksbury!!!

Ooh she sits where he walks to work so they can run jnto each other.

She looks so upset after making a joke

That was so awkward lmao

Feel a need?

It's a coded poem! Open mouth

She's so excited

You didn't have to say you don't sew bruv we get it your not like other girls

I doubt this case will get media coverage

The doors open o.o

Suspecious...But not as sus as her for breaking into someone's house

Oh this shows a struggle and abandonment

MAE she's dead!

This case just got alot more interesting

Inspector!

It'd mr.clangy

Sarah is wanted oof

Oh he tried to be respectful but superintendent is a bitch

I hate this guy I'm calling him mr.clangy forever now

Lestrade is so fucking calm, your boss just got punched in the gut

Hah he doesn't remember you bruv

Just a friendly visit cause your sis is running away from the cops

I cant I can't, maybe I can

He's such a fangirl omg

Damn she roof hopping

Shit she almost fell, she gone die

Wait what the fuck

Enola Holmes is turning all the men in England trans lol

I wonder if the cases are related

Wait Moriarty maybe?

I'm a slut for BBC Sherlock so forgive all the speculation that's purely based on BBC Sherlock, I know they aren't related

He has this walk

Grail

Immediate recognition lmao

AH VIOLIN

Enola looks weirded out

You tell Sherlock! She made it bout herself, she wants media attention not to help

Haha callback

He just walks past them lmao

I think Poppy might be a chick but I could be wrong

A hat! Dun dun dunnn

A TAPER CROWN HAT I KNEWBTHEY WERE RELATED

It's not a date it's a place!

Williams for reds not a Poppy at all

I'm going to a ball yay! Ew

Smh Enola

I love her cloak

Her dress is so pretty

Why is the music so sus when they light the cake

Lol the chaperone

She keeps forgetting what her society is like

Bitch you live here how do you forget this shit

He's actually leading Sherlock in a dance lmao

Oh she gone get caught

Tabitha Timothy lol

Fan language!!! Oh thats so clever and cute!

But she doesn't know fan language hahaha she immediately messed up

Omg Tewkesbury

Of course he's doing something with plants

This is so weird and cute i love their little relationship

Haha I love her

You're a man when I say soShe's such a bitch

She's a natural at dancing or maybe just with Tewksbury

What does that mean lmao

Don't touch the ginger cake!

Wait dance cards are an actual thing lmao

ID the writing ON SIGHT

TSUNDERE

jealous bitch

Cicely seems nice, she complimented Enola even if she had an outdated dress

Dislocated and I'll scream, ICON

He knows Bessie!

Ooh a secret meeting how funBunch of random letters returns

ITS MORIARTY OMG OMG

I LOVE THIS

I hope their as gay as the BBC

Oh my lord JUST SAY ITS ABOUT YOUR CASE

Not the police barging in

She gave him her evidence! How sweet

Cecily is the only one who looks concerned for her everyone else is making fun of her

Keep silent Enola!

Shut up mr.clangy no one likes you

Oh no he's gonna kill Bessie isn't he :(

His job is to kill match girls who are needling out the corruption?

Sexist

Oooh mr.clangy stopped Sherlock from getting her

Oof

POLICEMAN IS HIDING HIS HAND

Those fingerprints are blurry at best

Ohmygod I was typing the last line then Sherlock kicked a fucking sign and scared a cat

It's the jujitsu woman!

It's ok you can say it

Ew I don't like how that guard looked at Enola

Wtf whyd they push her into the center?They're gonna hang her? Or beat her? What?

IS IT HER MOM?!

No its jujitsu lady

AND HER MOM

Prison break bitches

Her mom really likes bombs huh

Carriage chase carriage chase

Theure giving people typhus or something

He's gonna jump on isn't heNot anymore lol

Mr.clangy you bitch stop shooting st them

You go girl

Holy shit he just broke their wheel

I hope the horses are all right

Probably are they disappeared with the crash

Fuck off you bitch

I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THEM OMG

HOLY TRINITY INDEED

DAMN HE GOING FOR THE KILL

THE CARRIAGE IS A BOMB

Genius

Aw they changed her into new clothes how nice

Her mother is initiating boy talk

He ain't my Boi

I love that's she's acknowledging her part in Enola self isolating

She's encouraging her to get allies ♡

I love these women

She just winked? Why?

Get a haircut as your parting word lmao

I knew it

They're killing the match girls by giving them typhus through the MATCHES

FUCK YES

And Sarah figured it out

She and Mae were expirementing eith it

Genius

They tested flies, mice, plants

Extraordinary I love them

She went to Tewkesbury!!!

His flat is filled with flowers and plants ♡♡♡♡

I love him

Yay their allies

Jealous bitch

IS CECILY SARAH?!

Shut up you awkward bruv

SHE IS

I FIGURED IT OUT MOTHERFUCKER

To be fair they spelled it out

TEWKESBURY YOUR NOT EVEN COURTING AND YIU DAID ILY

She sent Ily to William too

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS

SHE HIT HIM

AAAHAHHHHHHH SHE RETUREND FEELINGS OMG OMG OMG

We live we laugh we love

Just tell em your a lord, I am, then they'll believe you omg

Sherlock!

The contempt in their voices I love this sibling dynamic

I knew they were connected I KNEW

Is that guy dead

He is

Mr.clangy

Moriarty is dead :(

Haha Tewkesbury

It's a set up!

Is Moriarty actually alive

He is

Ooh William thankyou for golding onto that

It's a letter isn't it

Nope map

Dora Dora Dora the explora

He can't fight lol

She's just beating him up until he pussies up and fights her

AH THEY KISSED

After she punched him multiple times lol

They're so cute

Secret treasure

SARAH!

She was wearing a wig this whole time damn

Uh oh they have to tell her he's dead

Aww poor Sarah ♡

Ew mr.clangy

BESSIE NO

YOU GO BESSIE BITE HIS ASS

SHERLOCK NO

Tewksbury is getting fucked up

Ooh but he's got a sword now

Fuck off clangy

Did Sherlock just kill someone?

How many bullets has he got? It's a small gun can't be too many

HAHA HE RAN OUT FUCK YOU CLANGY

ENOLA NO

Retractable knife for the win!

Ah shit she got knicked in the head real bad

Yes Tewkesbury fuck him up and get your girl

Shit clangy is dead Enola full ass killed him

Now that murder charge is valid

Sherlock you dramatic bitch

THE SOFT VOIXE WOMEN IS MORIARTY

WHAT A TWIST

I LOVE THIS

Go off queen! Tell him, dick him down verbally

Society creates yet another villain

For now at least, love thatOh no is the bad guy gonna win?

He paper burning is beautiful though

But the movie isn't over yet

Revolution!

Shut up boss man

Sometimes an inspiring speech doesn't work

At least not right away

Yiu go Bessie I love you girl

This is amazing I love this

I think this music was at the end of the other movie too

She runs her agency out of the fighting place now :)

Holmes and Holmes ♡♡♡♡

But I glad she refused

The running write that down gag ♡

They're gonna meet with jne another ♡

Ah they're so cute

MORIARTY ESCAPED O.O

I love them so much

Ohhhh the true part was Match Girl Strike that makes more sense

I thought I heard of match girls before

ENILA GOT HIM A FLATMAYE LMAO

IS THIS JOHN

IT IS OMG OMG OMG

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

♡♡♡♡/5 I loved this movie

#enola holmes #enola 2 #netflix #Sherlock #lord tewksbury #Long post #Commentary #movie commentary #Live reaction #tw: swearing #tw: caps

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seraphinashaw · 11 months

Note

Hi! I forgot my original question but I guess I'll ask you some other things 💚

❥ Do you like Melanie Martinez? If so, what's your favorite album/song?

❥ What's your favorite color? >:D <3 (Mines Green, purple and yellow :>)

❥ What's your opinion on the group? (Killian, Julius, Seamus, Kelly, etcetera)

❥ What's the worst part of being a woman? (I LOVE how you're trans! I'm a natural born woman and I rlly wanna be a boy. But I WANNA HEAR WOMAN FROM YOUR POV, DEAR <3)

SMALL RANT ON WHAT I LUV ABT YOU <<33

I LOVE your albinism! I love people that are albino, have vitiligo, etcetera! They're so eye-catching and so are you! You're absolutely gorgeous and I 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 your clothing choice!

Smash. You're just- SO BEAUTIFUL AND BADASS AND I LOOOOVVVVEEEEE YOUUUUU!!!!!!!

☆ Have an amazing day/night!!!! ☆

✫ ℳℯ𝒾ℳℯ ✫

omg hi babes xx so many questions 4 me!! 😳 sry if i get a wee bit incoherent i'm still hung over 😹😹 i'll do my best to answer ❤ this might get long just cuz of the amount of questions asked LMAO

i've known about mel from the start, but to be real and controversial here i'm not rly interested in her music? like it just isn't rly my style i don't like it very much LMAO, it's kinda um... teenager music 2 me, sorry if ur a fan lol. i do think she has a nice voice tho

as 4 my fav colour.... have 1 look at my wardrobe choices and notice the only colour i wear other than black 😹 i'm a purple girl all the way 😼 i like matching my eye colour LOL

the other girlies are crazy LMAOOO they definitely took some getting some used 2. i'm used 2 being the crazy one but they make me look normal 😭😭 2 be real with u i thought killian was cishet at first... 💀 and he got RLY mad when he learned of this 😹 (can u blame me tho? he literally is into ancient rome and his misogyny is smth else 💀) as for julius, um. he gave me free gender affirming surgery and did a good fucken job sooo legally i can't say anything bad 😹 he is like a bestie 2 me, even if he doesn't acknowledge anybody as a friend LMAO. seamus and kelly are rly smth else too, i love hanging w/ them cuz there's always smth mad going on w them😹😹

the worst part of being a woman, mmm. the underboob sweat 😹 jk sorryyy LMAO. i can tell u as some1 who's presented as male b4 that ppl def are much, much nicer and more lenient w/ u whenever ur a man. i also need 2 be more cautious ig now that i pass as female? cuz men LOVE 2 try pulling things w/ me thinking i'm 'vulnerable' and all that. i have stood strong tho, i haven't rly had too many problems myself cuz i'm a bad bitch, and they never know what's coming 😼 if u decide 2 transition 1 day ull prolly notice the opposite will happen 2 u, i hear this from transmasc ppl at least.

girll u rlly made my day with this 😽 keep this up and ull make me blush LMAO. thank u tho 😌 i kno i'm hot and cool but the reminder is always welcome 😼

u have a good day 2 babes xx

#//ooc: man thank you for these asks it makes me really happy to wake up to these and answer them 😭😭#//ooc: i also wish to say that i don't personally support melanie martinez due to the allegations #//ooc: I've responded in character and as sera is a problematic person herself she unfortunately isn't the type to care #//ooc: however this does not mean i personally support mel. i feel that should be cleared up #rp blog #hellcrew #seraphina shaw #asks

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legion-gringo · 2 years

Text

// this is heavy and personal //

It's supposed to be my 4 year HRTiversary but something happened.

A few months back I stopped feeling as much like a girl, then I started taking T as well as E, then I stopped taking E, then I stopped wearing women's clothing then I stopped wearing makeup. I might go back to E/being a girl at a later date, but I might not.

Now I wear suits, use the men's toilets, go by he him pronouns, and I'm happy - or as happy as I was as a girl. I still feel trans, but I'm not really transfeminine at this point, and I'm clearly not transmasc either.

I don't think i count as transmisogyny affected, even. I just seem to most people like an effeminate gay man (they're not wrong, but it's more complicated than that, same as it is for anyone really)

I don't have any regrets - I look at my tits (small and perky) and I think they're neat. I like that estrogen gave me a softness and a connection to my emotions I had previously been lacking, but I like that T has given me the composure and poise to push back the tears and communicate to ppl how I feel instead of just falling apart and letting people see how I feel from that.

It's hard though. Am I detrans? Not really but I do make some people uncomfortable, I suspect. Or a joke that I could have made without a second thought suddenly becomes a minefield of "is he allowed to say that"

There's another detrans grifter in the media. This one is complaining that testosterone made him bald so he "may as well" keep being a guy even tho he regrets it. Fuckin idiot. Men go bald. If I go bald I think I'm gonna cry, (only I can't cry now.) Does this make me a hypocrite?

What's a HRTiversary anyway - it's a big deal for some, for others it's just "the earliest date possible they could get on hrt."

There's other people like me, irl and online, doing similar things - retransitioning rather than detransitioning - but I don't really feel that connected to them either. I know people desperate to tell you that they're a boy (but a girl really!!!!) and try and look as clocky as possible - this reads as weirdly transphobic against the tboys. There's a way to honor and appreciate trans beauty without fetishising clockiness, that's chasershit to me.

Idk where I'm going with this tbh. I don't really understand it but I am starting to resent the constant attempt by other trans people to categorise me into something safe, or at least nameable .

"so have you detransitioned"

"no"

"so you're still a girl"

"kind of but not really"

"are you a man?"

"yeah I guess"

"oh you're nonbinary"

"no"

"oh! You're genderfluid"

"idk no I don't think so"

"oh you're just nonbinary but you don't like the word"

"..."

It's funny as well how many people are completely in denial about what's happening in the same way that my family/coworkers were at the start of my first transition.

*turns up to a party in a suit*

"gurl you look amazing"

*uses men's bathrooms*

"wow she's so fierce"

*gently corrects misgendering*

"Hun you are so butch"

What I've really learned as well is how fuckin godawful girlie culture is from the outside. You go to a trans night in London and everyone's making the same tired jokes about praise kinks and headpats, catgirls and thighhighs, whether they're 19 or 50. Some stranger tried to pat my head at a punk gig my girlfriend was playing back in april and I told her to go fuck herself. If I tried that now I'd probably get booted from the community. Fuckin hell we got Imogen Binnie, Lou Sullivan, yknow there's actual cool parts of The Culture that you can engage with/riff on (like Jackie Ess did with Darryl and its links to Nevada) - why are we content with memes about sword lesbians and blahaj?

I'm part of the problem, too! I did that stupid "gifted boy to burnout girl with a praise kink" post from last year that I've seen go around twitter, Facebook, insta, tiktok, I'm feeding the cultural rot.

I fully expect to lose followers over this, cause it's upsetting to hear. i avoided detransitioners (still not a word i identify with) like the plague ever since i transitioned, not just cause they're normally creepy and weird but i think i genuinely believed that they'd somehow social-contagion me (Torrey Peters is occasionally capable of making a salient point, turns out!)

Anyway whatever. Burn it all down. Love and solidarity to my trans siblings, if this is creepy and weird to hear, catch you on the flipside in like 6 months when i get bored of this and go back to being a girlie

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discyours · 1 year

Note

[a different anon] you still can admit that its not universal - i agree - that all trans people fetishize but there are some that do it and it’s not in the chronology you mentioned (getting obsessed as a result of transition)

greetings!

Yeah I agree. Although I think a lot of people fail to understand that they're both pipelines. If you're not active in kink communities yourself (or sometimes even if you are) you may see the fetish as a starting point, but someone still ended up there somehow. People may be predisposed to certain kinks/fetishes but they aren't born with them (for the most part, I think there's exceptions like foot fetishes where there's some research that it's literally some neurological wires being switched).

In either case you have someone who has been influenced to direct their feelings (sometimes sexual, sometimes not) towards the concept of being a woman (taking that as an example because the flipside is much much rarer). And that can be anything from "I want to do something Sexual and Naughty and Taboo and society has taught me that women's underwear (very much unlike men's underwear) is all of those things", to "I've never related to the masculine expectations that are put on men, I feel like I relate a lot more to the women in my life and I think that's a sign I was meant to be born as one". One is obviously grosser to hear given the sexual nature of it, but both groups of people are being needlessly funnelled into connecting their (natural and understandable) feelings to womanhood.

Not that a crossdressing kink necessarily goes as far as fantasising about actually being a woman, but because of the pipeline(s) it's very common for it to end up there. I do have to say that while still inside kink communities, men with cross dressing/sissy kinks who are openly considering ""becoming a woman full time"" usually seem pretty self aware that it's a matter of living out a sexual fantasy, and they don't tend to bother with politically correct language (still misogynists tho). It's just that if they do ever make it into trans communities, they are very quickly "re-educated" that sexual crossdressing or sissy porn is a normal starting point for getting in touch with your (fully nonsexual and entirely innate) gender identity.

#anon

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rainbeausobsessions · 1 year

Text

Literally no one asked so I'm building my Sonic HC Library

Shadow

100% vibing with him being autistic

no wonder I must protec

Gives off he/they enby, but I also don't think he's thought much about it one way or the other, he just feels like he knows who he is and that's valid

Panromantic, may or may not be demisexual.

He has a type(tm) and it's Maria, I mean, the beaniest of beans, I mean, 'the gentle and hopeful and somehow still fully in love with the world despite being forced to face with the cruelest realities of it' type

(he'd probably hear silver's backstory and just suddenly fall madly in love because this bean is such a bean despite everything he's gone through)

(does this count as demiromantic (probably))

Bruh would feel so awkward with a crush but he'd probably seem mostly normal except to people who knew him pretty well (Rouge, and then she'd tease him for it), and he'd get so flustered if they ever tried to make a move on him like 'what are you doing' + internal panic

Looks like he's totally in control, but if he ever gets his own place it will be an absolute disaster cuz our boi don't know shit

Asking him for polyamory would probably result in "whatever, just spend time with me"

They'd probably get overprotective in physically dangerous situations tho

Sonic

Vibing with the transman fanon rn

I'd say he's on T if it wasn't for the fact that our boi couldn't stay in a single city to save his life

He has a type(tm) and it's Sally Acorn, uh I mean, 'the confident and self-assured but somehow still conscientious leader's type

(I can see him with some of the newer versions of Amy, considering her character growth so far)

(oh look, another demiromantic)

Man can't stick around long enough to keep a long term monogamous relationship tho, so he'd be a comet in a thousand different QPRs

Maybe he's relationship anarchist, idk but it makes sense

Definitely a solo poly guy tho. He's his own primary.

Silver

FEMBOY

My boi deserves all the love

Would probably come back from the future at some point and then just keep delaying going back to the future because all his friends are in the past and he's so lonely

(oh no, can't go back to the future, accidentally started a family in the past, whatever will I do *lives the rest of his life in happiness and adventure*)

is giving he/they/she

Espio

Transmasc goth boi

(I love him)

Seems like he's pretty stable and self-assured. Would probably be really polite and attentive as a partner. Would absolutely just ask his crush out on a date, cuz again, he's in a good place.

(and if he didn't he knows that Vector would stage an intervention for him)

Rouge the Bat

Ngl she's giving transfem/mtf vibes

Absolutely loves messing with people. Probably partly why it's so hard to pin down what her moral compass is, she *likes* keeping people guessing

Can't do that with Shadow tho, they may have even gotten in an argument about it at one point

She still loves him tho, Shadow's a found brother/sibling

Charmy Bee

Baby trans boy

I imagine his Big Brother(tm) Espio started sharing his experiences as a trans guy and Charmy was like "GASP, THAT'S ME!!"

(Someone pointed out to me that female honey bees have stingers and not males, so now it's headcanon)

Vector

Unfortunately I can't not see him as the token cishet guy in Sonic's friend group

Probably gets some loving flack about it ("when's your shell gonna crack, big guy" "you sure you don't wanna check out men? I met a really sweet guy at the bar the other day")

May have a reputation for adopting gays.

Might not suddenly be housing them, but he'd absolutely send random care packages

(is this why you're always in debt, buddy)

Definitely has bi wife energy (his wife being Vanilla (eventually))

(more to come, probably, eventually)

#sonic hcs #sth #im honestly open to any ship as long as it makes sense in my head #no character bashing in my house #no ship bashing in my house

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radellama · 2 years

Note

Magus and/or Flea

Magus

First impression

Ohhhh big cape evil dude with one of the coolest boss themes I've ever heard!?

Impression now

Favorite moment

Sighhhhh there's so many... When you really look at him he has such nuance and everything is linked and I LOVE thinking about him (been almost 15 years lol...) It's really hard to just pick one. For now, let's just say his iconic line

Idea for a story

Men of Mystics

For real tho, I've wanted to do a cool horror/creepy pasta type story about Magus in relation to the black wind. I just don't know how to get the really good feeling out into words or art so it's been a few years in the back of my mind. Just something about being so young and losing your mum to the black winds, and watching your sister slowly succumb to the same thing, all before you start to hear it yourself... Yeah, I wish I had in inspiration to pull it off how I want

Unpopular opinion

A vast majority of the fandom reduce him to a gross and/or incorrect flanderization of self. That, or glossing over him entirely, when he adds so much to the narrative of ct as a whole. I still see fucking terrible takes on him as recently as 2022 lol and it makes me a bit sad. I know my interpretations won't be to everyone's liking but I've put effort into looking into him (and most the ct cast as a whole) and picking up the subtle things that are laid out right there in the source material. Looking only at him (or anyone for that matter) PURELY through a fandom lens gets tiring for me to see sometimes...

Favorite relationship

HARLAND

FOR REAL THO, ALL THESE YEARS LATER AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH SCHALA IS STILL SO NICE.... EVEN THO most of that relationship is his one sided view on it, he still dedicated most of his life working to try and avenge/save her. It's strong enough that it prevailed through to both sequels (to varying degrees and missed opportunities 🙄) because he just cared that much. Even when he's a grown man, he's still that little kid who's sad cause he misses his sister!!!!

Favorite headcanon

That the use of magic changes your appearance. I had a whole theory about hair colour and magical affinity, which explains why Magus has such a beautiful icy blue colour. It also explains why his ears got pointy, and I like to further that by imagining that he overall looks very sharp and angular, as much as a human can. I try to express that with most art I make of him, I know he's really hot and even if it's so subtle most will miss it, I try to keep him looking sharp.

///

Flea

First impression

WOAH WE'RE FIGHTING IN THE STARS!!!

(fun fact, flea was one of my very first glimpses of ct, before my very own playthrough I used to sit with my dad in his office and watch him play, and he was going through Magus' castle one of the first time I watched him!)

Impression now

EPIC NB TRANS MASC KING!!!

Favorite moment

Idea for a story

Hmm... Honestly, a lot of the stuff I wanted to explore for him (+the other generals) is gong into men of mystics. I've always just wanted to kinda explore the behind the scenes lives of everyone leading up to the war in 600ad, and that's exactly what men of mystics is - all that boring stuff, but harland is there :p

Unpopular opinion

Flea is not trans fem. Let trans mascs have this one, he literally says 'hey, I'm a guy'

I'm not saying this as a dig at trans fems, if they see something in him and connect with him that way I love to see it - I'm saying as a trans masc myself who often feels like people hear the word 'trans' and think it only means 'trans woman,' let us have this one and respect the masc despite appearing androgynous/feminine, I talked about it a little while ago here

Favorite relationship

Honestly? With slash and ozzie. I'm soooo interested in how the dynamic between the three of them plays out, I love thinking about the antics they'd get up to while they were rising to general status

Favorite headcanon

Honestly not so much a hc but more trying to bring back the aspects of Flea that were lost through translation. Mainly the amazing pun on his name making him talk real flirty. I wish there was a way we could have all the little nuances brought over to eng, I could talk about them all day....

#asks #ksera sera #magus #flea #chrono trigger #rads asks

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dorefasolsido · 2 months

Text

40.

Do you ever wonder how Atheist people raise their kids?

I mean, just normal? I was raised by an atheist and an agnostic, I guess the only difference is that they never really taught me about religion whatsoever, so when I was asked in school which faith I identify with, I had no idea what to say. But they never told me I can't read the Bible if I wanted to (only read part of the kids' one tho), and we still celebrated Christmas and Easter like everyone else. Tbh, hearing about some people's experiences with growing up in religious households, I'm glad mine wasn't like that.

If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not?

I'm more of an agnostic, but if I ever had kids (which I don't want to), I'd raise them like my parents raised me. They can explore on their own, I can answer some questions, and that's it. I won't push anything onto them, especially not something I don't really believe in either.

How long does it usually take you to finish answering a survey?

Depends, I'm done with some in ten minutes, others in half an hour or more.

Do you spell it gray or grey?

Usually grey, but depends if I'm using American or British spelling.

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title?

I don't.

When are you going back to school?

I'm done with school.

If you don’t go to school anymore, what do you do?

I work, attend German classes, deal with the crushing reality of everyday existence. As everyone else.

Do you care about other people’s status messages?

Hmmm where? I can only check those now on WhatsApp, and yes, I do that. I'm too nosey not to.

Do you like reading self help books?

Nah, it's just not for me.

What is your opinion on sex change?

Those who want it should go for it, I'm glad such options exist for trans people.

Do you think that this will take away the essence of gay pride?

I have no clue what this means, tbh, but the answer is probably no.

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke?

I laugh at myself and give myself a highfive while others all sigh and groan.

If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you?

It's not important and I think the whole concept and discussion around it is stupid. Like, I'd just get rid of that whole idea entirely. It seriously fucked with my head when a gynecologist reacted like I'm some mythical creature just because I'm over 20 and have never had sex with a man. I'm still dealing with that shame sometimes, and I'm not even attracted to men like that.

If you have lost it already, do you regret it?

As I said, it doesn't mean anything to me, so no, I wouldn't regret it. But tbh, I can't see myself in that situation, being ace and all.

Do you believe in marriage? Why or why not?

Well I mean sure, but I don't personally see that much of a point. I guess there are financial benefits and so on, but ehhh, I don't know.

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends?

A few close friends.

Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they?

Summer is far away, but I'd like to travel somewhere, I guess.

Or do you plan on getting a summer job? Or do you already have one?

I have a job--not just a summer one.

If so, where do you work and what do you do?

Content writing and translating.

Do you watch the TV Show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character?

I don't.

And which generation do you prefer? Or do you equally love both?

Refer to the above.

Do you know someone who still typpe thiszz wayy?

Has anyone ever typed that way?

Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)?

Well I didn't--it's not exactly a common thing to do here, but I think it's not bad. Like, if you can afford it, why not travel a bit before college?

Do you feel tired after stretching?

Not normally.

Can you get a strike at bowling?

I did a few times. Beginner's luck!

Do you use Facebook? If so, what is your favorite application there?

I don't use it anymore.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you?

Nope. I'm barely ever on there.

#personal #surveys

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