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#cal’s rambles
calli0p3 · 4 months
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has anyone done this yet
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cals-corner · 7 months
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i feel like it’s been long enough to talk about this BUT once a few tumblr users had a sort of.. passionate(?) exchange on my post. maybe rbed 6 or 7 times before being like “we should take this to the dms or something so we don’t annoy OP”
and you know what i really do admire tumblr because nowhere else could experience something quite like that i think
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treasure-goblin · 3 months
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Ok, here we go.
If this post gets 5k notes, I'll actually start sending the resources I've been saving on autism/adhd to my parents and ask about going back to therapy.
Edit: ok, 5k for sending resources, 10k for therapy because 1) yall are too fast, and 2) I'm terrified of asking.
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catlliecal · 11 months
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The Tumblr migration from Reddit is hilarious to me to watch given the reputation of the two sites. You’re coming here? When it feels like Tumblr is the opposite of Reddit? I welcome you in with open arms, I just find it interesting, that’s all.
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llumimoon · 8 months
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THEY WERE NOT KIDDING ABT THE BOT NAMES LEVELING UP R YOU KIDDING
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PLUMP UROLOGIST????????????
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moonlit-endor · 4 months
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Jedi: Fallen Order/Jedi: Survivor + text posts
Part 1/ ?
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kaseyskat · 8 months
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okay since they said that the san diego show is gonna be the only one Not recorded, i'll do my best to summarize the show for y'all!!!
-glenn's dad fact: the glenn close trio instagram (? i think?) is full of pictures of glenn standing next to a picture of the real glenn close
-darryl's dad fact: he and carol go to san diego very frequently because darryl likes the breweries and carol likes surfing! they have not "had sex" there once, but they HAVE made love (statements that made me cringe out loud)
-henry's dad fact: he and mercedes make a fake san diego burrito for themselves and the twins. it sounds awful.
-ron's dad fact: he thinks san diego is a type of eggo waffle
-the prompt that we rolled was called DADDY BABIES. the plotline? the dads (and paeden) went to the dimensional witch tilt toblerona to ask her to give them the strength of their youth back so they could find their kids. instead, tilt turned them into babies.
-the dads still have all of their memories of who they are as people and they can talk to themselves and to paeden (tilt does not understand them though, tilt only hears baby noises) but physically Being a baby affects their mental state just a bit
-ron wanted to stay a baby forever. henry tried to explain the concept of ageplay to him, darryl got confused thinking that ron just wanted to HAVE a baby like with samantha, henry had to explain fetishes
-during the baby section, henry is the most "adult" and ends up having to corral the others. darryl is a close second, but glenn and ron both Suffer Immensely
-while tilt is making. applesauce? the babies scheme on how to escape, involving an elaborate scheme in which henry uses mold earth on playdoh to make fake versions of themselves blue in the face and choking in a plastic bag and ron throwing his voice to sound like a baby crying. beth made the worst fake crying noise ever but then also gave us an INSANE dolphin noise when anthony called her out on it
-(also the dads had to roll object permanence to see if they thought tilt was gone forever when she was out of their line of sight. glenn failed this check very badly. darryl even played peekaboo with him to demonstrate object permanence and it failed. anthony made a horrible horrible joke that glenn's not a bad parent he just has bad object permanence even when it comes to nick)
-somehow this works? they trap tilt toblerona (glenn using illusory mind prison to make tilt think SHES the one choking on a plastic bag, henry casting stone wall on her to build a lego wall around her and effectively cask of amontillado-ing her) and then wander around the house looking for a way out.
-they realize they need tilt's key to escape, but first they watch an episode of bluey! henry is the only one who saved on a roll to Not be sucked into watching bluey and ends up unplugging the TV and going on a tangent about how screentime is bad
-(which is really fucking funny because he very explicitly says "lark and sparrow are well behaved because we set boundaries and have them play outside instead of using screens" and we all know how lark and sparrow are like. not???? not well behaved. henry im so sorry to break this to you but they are not well behaved-)
-anyways they get back to tilt, find and steal her key, and then open the door, promptly getting sucked through dimensions
-(darryl thinks for a second that he's in the rapture and tries to baptize himself in case his baby form isn't baptized. henry tries to help but goes on another tangent and they miss the opportunity)
-when they awaken, they find themselves now as teenagers in a classroom! and they see a GOTH PUNK SEEKER OF DARKNESS (phrases that made the entire crowd erupt in screaming, myself included)
-this time, darryl is the most stable of the dads! glenn coming in second, and then ron and henry were both. very teenager.
-darryl immediately offers to play ball with link. link is interested but ultimately gets shot down by tilt, who explains that they are in interdimensional detention forever
-glenn and taylor immediately bond over how cool they are
-scary asks ron if she can copy his math homework because he seems smart with a tie. ron agrees to let her but is very nervous about it (we later find out this is because he is not very good at math)
-teenage henry is a fucking delight yall. he sits there staring out the window at the trees and writing poetry (with long hair! long hair teenage hen is real!!!) about the trees and enjoying nature
-scary has to roll not to fall in love with him the second she finds out that he writes poetry (she fails)
-normal tries to bond with his grandfather. henry brushes him off entirely. its heartbreaking and also hilariously funny
-normal goes fucking apeshit yall. he gets so fed up of henry ignoring him and the others not talking to him and being trapped in this small room that he takes a crossbow and threatens tilt with it. she calls his bluff and he SHOOTS HER?
-at least, he tries. she catches the bolt and then tells him that if he's serious he needs to actually stab the bolt into her heart himself. he does. he's unhinged.
-tilt tries to explain her entire sob story backstory. darryl interrupts to boo her and call her a loser.
-glenn and taylor throw a desk out of the window to break it open. going out the window Will Kill You.
-ron paints the window like a slip and slide to try and trick tilt into going into it. it doesn't work. however two guards come in and it DOES work on one of the guards
-the other guard eventually gets physically thrown out of the window by taylor, who proudly declares that this will not affect him at all
-henry goes to talk to scary. scary gets excited, but then henry just asks if she thinks that teen darryl would go out with henry because even though he's "not henry's type", something about him is captivating. scary is heartbroken.
-darryl overhears this and rejects henry on the basis of him still dating carol! but offers to set henry up with carol's friends.
-glenn and taylor use awful fireworks to blind tilt, the other guard (that taylor kills), and normal since he was in range.
-scary tries to be bitter and calls henry out for being blind, but henry wasn't hit with the spell and immediately says some fakedeep shit about seeing more than most people do. it is insanely funny i cannot stress how funny teenage henry is
-link is now convinced that public schools were a mistake and he needs to leave Right Now. he rolls a nat 20 on taking the key, but uses it for himself to fucking dip. he just ditches them. he bolts for it. normal even tries to give him a high five and link completely goes NOPE.
-when nobody else has another form of escape, henry takes out his sketchbook? that apparently he always has as a teen? and uses summon creature to draw a boar and bring it to life. the boar smashes through the door and now they are saved!
-it is here that it is revealed this was all a dream but specifically a dream set pre-canon. darryl makes a comment about link being a narc. glenn tells taylor to never change because he's perfect exactly the way he is. scary tells ron that he sucks at math (and ron is very confused about scary's existence he doesn't know who she is).
-HENRY. tells normal to be the best version of himself. AND TO HELP HIM WITH THAT. he draws. TEENY. TO GIVE TO NORMAL AND INSPIRE HIM TO BE HIS BEST SELF. and that is how normal came up with teeny the teen as the mascot of teen high
-it was such a fun show, i'm so glad i got to attend! shame that it isn't being recorded
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ilovethebittertaste · 2 months
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i hate how ppl say”things will get better” but like they never do it just keeps getting worse
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weadapt · 11 months
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I think it’s interesting storytelling how in the beginning of the game Cal says the Sixth Sister’s name, Masana Tide, and reminds her of who she used to be—and it visibly distresses her because it hurts what was done to her and Cal isn’t wrong in what he’s saying. The shocking thing for me was the moment when Cal said “It’s time to set you free”. It was such a surreal feeling hearing Cal say that, those kinds of words, to know he decided it was time to strike her down; it’s understandable because she killed his entire crew, but for Cal to be the executioner in that way was scary to see coming after only experiencing the young kid he was in Fallen Order. Now you really get the feeling Cal has been through a lot, he’s grown as a man since Fallen Order and he’s calloused, not entirely in a bad way given he’d have to be to survive but still in a depressing way, as a result. I know overall and gameplay wise, Cal has killed a lot of people, it’s nothing new, but storytelling wise it’s a serious moment for Cal. It’s a moment you know is going to follow him the rest of the game for character development. After he kills her, it’s made clear by the music and by Cal’s body language that this isn’t a good thing coming from him. It isn’t a triumph. Even BD-1 knows and worries for Cal with his little “Boop…?” and Cal is only able to respond rather shakily, “Yeah… I’m okay”.
When he meets up with Bode and Bravo and they ask him what happened to the Inquisitor, he gives a simple, no emotion, “Dead”. The long pause of Bravo not saying anything in response to me says a lot; it feels like he isn’t used to Cal having a reaction like that.
Then we have Rayvis. Cal defeats him in battle and asks him to join in the fight against Dagan. He doesn’t want to kill Rayvis—“You don’t have to do this”. The oddly tragic part to me is that Rayvis has dreams of seeing Tanalorr again. If Dagan succeeds his dream will be realized, but he’s given up on the dream and wants a warrior’s death now. He wants to die, and in his mind, honorably, by Cal’s hands, and he’s going to force Cal to do it. But for Cal it’s another execution on his part. He pauses before he lifts his saber and kills Rayvis. It isn’t a triumph. Again we’re given a sudden swell of music to tell us the emotion behind the action of killing Rayvis. You can see it’s affected Cal badly. BD-1 seems to ask Cal the same question as before, “Boop…?” but this time Cal doesn’t acknowledge the question and just replies, “We should go”.
Killing Dagan hurts for Cal too. Dagan is a Jedi, someone who held onto the Order, who tied his entire identity to it and all of his goals are focused on restoring the Order and fighting to change the universe. Just like Cal in a way. Dagan is single-mindedly focused on the mission, so obsessively, he lost himself and the one he loved as a result. Cal understands and see the parallel of that kind of drive in his own mission against the Empire and it terrifies him. Dagan could’ve helped him fight the Empire but it became another tragic moment of having to kill a once fellow Jedi. This is another tragedy. Bode doesn’t care about Dagan being dead on the floor but Cal does. Cal has enough respect to place Dagan’s lightsaber on his chest. Cal pauses to reflect but Bode immediately gets back to getting the compass.
We have this interesting arch of reactions to killing his opponents. They were each killed for the mission. It was necessary. They each started the fight against him. No matter the reason though, it’s still very painful for Cal.
Cal is being pushed into this direction of forcing him to question his beliefs and who he is. His whole identity at this point has been tied to the Order, of being a Jedi, and it’s very clear by his conversations in Fallen Order that it really matters to who he is. By the end of Survivor, we have three fallen Jedi: Masana Tide, Dagan Gera, and Bode Akuna. So who is Cal Kestis? What will he become? Is he doomed to fall like they did? That’s what troubles him—“Let’s just say I don’t wanna end up like him [Dagan]”.
He’s afraid he’s going to lose himself.
The fear is almost realized when he’s about to kill another opponent. The one behind the murders of his friends and mentors. Cal’s been killing each of his main opponents up to the point at Nova Garon—this one will be no different. Except killing the man who sent Bode on the mission to infiltrate his team is different. Cal is on the edge of losing himself to the Dark Side. In Fallen Order he pleaded for Cere not to use the Dark Side because “She’s stronger than that”, “[she] still had a choice”. But Cal is failing to remember any of that for himself. He wants to kill because he’s angry, grieving, and in immense pain. Merrin has to bring him back—“This is not you!” There’s a question of whether or not Cal would’ve been able to stop himself if Merrin hadn’t been there though.
When we get to the final battle, Merrin is warning Cal of what’s likely going to happen but he ignores her for a while which prompts her to say, “Well? Say something!” He doesn’t want to acknowledge that Merrin is right and they’re likely going to have to kill Bode, and with that, taking Kata’s father away—a loss of family Cal and Merrin know too much about. So they both try and give Bode every chance to stop and turn away from what he’s done, despite how much Bode had hurt them. Sadly, Cal once again is forced into using the Dark Side to prevent Bode from killing Merrin. It was worth it. It was worth using it to save Merrin. He couldn’t let her be killed. He couldn’t see that happen before his eyes like he had with all of his friends and mentors.
After everything is over, there’s this sickly feeling left behind. Not simply because of Bode’s death, but because of the impact on Merrin realizing Kata has lost family just like she and Cal had, but also because of the impact the death of Bode has on Cal. And after Cal carries away Bode’s body, the music changes to an eerie, ominous, high pitch, minor key when we see Cal board the Mantis. The kind of change in music which lets the audience know there’s something seriously wrong. Things are different now. Cal’s different. And he knows it.
He’s lost in time watching the pyre, reflecting on everything that had happened but also on how grateful he is to Cere, but he knows the impact of her loss will continue to be with him for the rest of his life. Just like Jaro Tapal. Another guiding force in his life is gone. With Cere and Cordova gone, there is no longer any Jedi wisdom to seek out. He’s now alone in that way as a Jedi.
“I’m scared… I almost lost myself… I don’t know if I’m ready.”
Cal and the audience are left with the dreadful realization—
“I don’t know if I’m ready for what comes next”.
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juiceboxerr · 9 months
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no, i’m taking akutagawa away from bsd, bc what is this bullshit
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“dazai is the most qualified person”
“dazai’s training plan has never been wrong”
“dazai had no ill intention towards akutagawa. he chose the optimal method to deal with a disciple who tends to be very preoccupied with his own beliefs”
are you fucking serious.
we’re victim blaming now?
akutagawa’s trauma is basically completely disregarded and justified because “the end justifies the means”
and it didn’t even stop when dazai left the PM, he still treats akutagawa like he’s nothing more than a weapon
"dazai sees himself as the presence that continues to give a meaningful life to akutagawa"
having to see dazai justify the abuse he still keeps putting akutagawa through is so fucking painful.
no one talk to me right now, i’m so pissed off
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alexsrandomramblings · 11 months
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Saw someone say that the whole section where you play as Cere is a force echo Cal is sensing while holding her, and goddammit, I can't get that thought out of my mind.
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calli0p3 · 4 months
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“what did you say?” “i killed her sister.”
“what did you say?” “I cut off her head”
okay soulmates
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cals-corner · 10 months
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it’s been a year since me and my old best friend talked. i’ve been so nostalgic recently and i couldn’t explain why until now :((
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treasure-goblin · 3 months
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Reblog to let prev know you're proud of how far they've come and that they are deserving of love and care.
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catlliecal · 7 months
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Therapy isn’t enough I need an Untitled Track to appear on my phone followed by Hatsune Miku pulling me into a whole separate plane of existence world thing born from my passion and feelings
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llumimoon · 7 months
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pssst. come closer
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a little closer...
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.
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SEAL ATTACK !!!!!!!
🦭🦭🦭
MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH !!!!!!!!
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GET SEALED IDIOT
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