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babymetaldoll · 1 year

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Baby I'm yours- Chapter one: "Fuck it, I'm in love"

Summary: Spencer and reader have been together for just two weeks and their relationship is still too new. However, they are still getting used to being lovers and not just friends after so many years.

Warnings: I curse a lot, mention of smut, usual Criminal Mind cases info and descriptions.

Word count: 7,9K (because apparently I can't write 2K chapters)

Divider by @skylightlantern

A/N: Thank you to everybody who supported me and waited for this update. Guys! honey bunny and chipmunk are back!!

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel Masterlist

Next chapter

Spencer’s point of view

I sighed and breathed in as (Y/N)’s hair fell on my face when I rolled in bed. I wrapped my arms around her and moved her closer, as she continued sleeping. We had been together for ten days. The best ten days of my life, if you ask me. Catching unsubs wasn’t even bothering me. The blood, the gore, I didn’t care about that anymore, as long as I could be with my sweet (Y/N) next to me.

Yes, I am cheesy. And I’m not even sorry.

- “Wake up princess, time to go to work.”- I whispered softly in her ear as she rolled in bed and hid her face in the crook of my neck.

- “I don’t wanna”- (Y/N) whispered and held me close- “I wanna stay here with you”

- “I wanna stay here too, with you. But we got a case.”

- “Why can’t fucking psychos take a day off?”

- “Been asking myself the same for some time now. Wanna shower with me to save time?”- (Y/N) giggled and looked at me, as I leaned over and pecked her lips.

- “Last time we did that we didn’t save time. We actually were late for work and everybody made fun of us.”- I chuckle at the memory of that day. Well, it was just last Thursday, and Morgan is still teasing me about it.

- “Fine, you shower and I’ll make breakfast.”- I sigh defeated, but in a second her arms around my neck make me giggle again- “What are you doing, chipmunk?”

- “I’m giving you your good morning kiss, my sweet prince.”- I chuckled and kissed her sweetly, biting carefully her lips as she rubbed them against mine.

- “I am not getting out of bed if you are doing this to me, chipmunk.”

- “Come on, honey. We didn’t leave this bed for the entire weekend. Time to work”

- “That’s not true… we spent some fun time on the couch too, and on the kitchen counter… and in the bathtub”

- “Spencer Walter Reid, you are acting like a horny teenager!”- (Y/N) laughed and looked at me as I blushed, but kept smiling and caressing her cheeks as I stared at her.

- “I might be… but I just wanna spend every second I have with you, now that I have you”

- “You are gonna have me forever, honey bunny,”- I kept my eyes in hers and tried to take it all in. Her sweet smile, the loving look in her eyes, her scent. Everything drove me mad about her in the most sensual and yet adorable way. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I knew we had to. Most of all I knew we had to keep our behavior at our best. We had promised Hotch we were going to keep it professional. So far we had managed, though believe me, it had been a challenge.

I had never had a girlfriend before. I didn’t know what it was like to have someone who loved me back. Yes, it was still odd for me to face my feelings so openly in front of (Y/N). And it was still weird to hold her hand and hear her saying she loved me. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I wanted to give her everything I could. All my love, all my kisses, all of me, if she had me.

It is hard for me to explain exactly how it felt. I was so happy my entire soul was about to burst out of my body each time I held (Y/N)’s hand and kissed her lips. And at the same time, I was freaking out ‘cos I knew I could ruin it. I usually ruin the few good things that happen to me. I could speak too much and think too much. I overanalyze everything.

- “Ok hon, it’s your turn to drive today”- (Y/N) announced as she grabbed her bag and her coffee to go.

- “Do I have to?”- I pouted and frowned immediately- “You know I’m not a big fan of cars.”

- “You were the one who said that didn’t want Morgan to make fun of your driving anymore.”

- “I know, I know. I just get nervous”- (Y/N) gave me my satchel and smiled widely.

- “If you drive us to work today, I will give you a reward tonight.”- my eyes open wide at those words. She knows the effect she has on me, ‘cos she is giggling. Is it too obvious that my pants are feeling tight right away?

- “Oh my god! Spencer Walter Reid! you are such a horny boyfriend!”- (Y/N) shouted, laughing as she opened the front door.

- “But I didn’t say anything!”

- “You didn’t have to! I know you!”

- “Please don’t profile me, chipmunk! we promised we would never do that to each other”

- “I am not profiling you, hon. You have a boner.”- she chuckled as I moved my satchel to cover myself as we walked out of her apartment.

- “I… this… what I’m…”

- “Come on, honey bunny. Don’t get all shy now. You know I love it when your pants are feeling too tight.”- she wanted to kill me, I knew it. And honestly, dead by her kisses sounded like heaven to me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

There are no words that could ever explain how I felt walking into the BAU holding Spencer Walter Reid’s hand. My whole body trembled with happiness and a deep sensation of peace. His finger intertwined with mine, and the sweet smile on his face as he opened the door for me was all I needed to start the day.

Well, Spencer’s kisses earlier that morning had been, in fact, all I needed to be happy. But we couldn’t share those kinds of moments at work, Hotch had warned us already.

- "You know I am very happy for you, but I need you to keep your relationship at work strictly professional."

And of course, we had agreed with our Unit Chief.

- “Did I drive alright?”- Spencer asked me, and I nodded. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, tell him he had won a reward that night. But I couldn’t. Holding hands was all we could do at work, and that was already pushing things a little. So I walked to my desk and sighed, staring at the pile of paperwork I had to do.

- “Good morning, lovebirds”- Penelope walked into the bullpen holding a bunch of file cases- “I’m sorry to bring the news, but we have a case.”

- “I guess I’ll just keep piling up paperwork on my desk, then”- I sighed and held my coffee. Spencer did the same and cut me another shy smile.

- “You two are so sweet!! I can’t deal with all the love in this room!!”- Garcia nearly squealed- “Please, tell me you are getting married and having a million babies as soon as possible.”

- “And you told me I wasn’t the one supposed to scare them”- Morgan chuckled, overhearing Garcia’s excitement as he walked from the kitchenette toward our desks.

- “I am not scaring them! I’m just telling them what everybody wants!”- Penelope defended herself and pouted- “Besides, picture their babies! they are going to be so cute and smart!”

I looked at how Spencer’s cheeks turned red, but his eyes sparkled with joy. Clearly, he wanted to have babies. I hadn’t thought of it yet; we had been dating for a couple of days, literally. But I was in that relationship for the long run and there was no one else I would rather have babies with than Spencer.

- “Come on! I don’t want Hotch to get mad at us,”- I said and started walking to the conference room, knowing Spencer was following close behind.

So far, our BAU family, plus Frank, Mikey, and Lu were the only ones who knew about our relationship. Honestly, we hadn’t had time to tell anyone else. Spencer told me we could make a short trip to Vegas in a few weeks to tell his mother, and I thought it was the sweetest idea. I loved Diana, and I knew she was going to be happy with the news.

However, the idea of telling my family made me feel a little uneasy. I knew they loved Spencer as much as I did. I just didn’t want to hear mom’s comment about how our job was too dangerous, stressful, and demanding. Besides, I knew Phoenix was going to start acting all protective, like an older brother. And I didn’t want to go through all that. And who knew what my dad was going to say or do? Jesus! I kept praying he wouldn’t act all possessive and threaten Spencer with a gun as he did with my first boyfriend. So, telling them wasn’t in my plans at the moment.

It was a good thing we had a new case, which gave us little time not to think of any family issues. Spencer moved the chair for me, and I cut him a smile as I sat down. Hotch looked at us, and I could feel the pride coming from his eyes. You could tell he was happy for us.

- “Where's Prentiss?”- Morgan asked, looking around trying to spot her in the bullpen.

- “I don't know.”- I shrugged and opened the file case in front of me- “Maybe she overslept.”

- “Her car wasn't here when we rode in this morning.”- Spencer added, and I bit my lip, thinking of the make-out session we had in the parking lot when we got to work, just to help us through the day not touching.

- “I'm gonna give her a call, get her eta.”- Pen said and walked to the door the second Emily showed up, looking rather exhausted.

- “Hey.”

- “Somebody had a long night?”- Derek was trying to be fun and playful, but it backfired quickly.

- “Somebody wants to mind their own business?”- clearly Prentiss wasn’t in the mood for jokes. Spencer looked at me, frowning and I shrugged. Things I’ve learned working at the BAU: you never upset Prentiss when she is crossed.

- “Garcia.”- Hotch’s voice forced me to sit straight on my chair, even when he wasn’t even talking to me. I guess I was very self-conscious of every movement I made.

- “Oh. Spin the wheel and it is sunny Los Angeles, people.”- Pen turned on the screen and started going through the pictures.

- “Two times in one year, huh?”- I was about to argue with Morgan’s comment when Rossi asked:

- “Remind me again why it’s called the City of Angels.”- and of course, my boyfriend had an answer to that question.

- “It was originally called the town of our lady the queen of the angels.”- and everybody turned to look at Spencer- “That was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?”

- “Maybe, but can you tell me more about that later?”- I whispered and squeezed his hands underneath the table. He smiled and blushed as Rossi shook his head and chuckled.

- “You make my teeth hurt.”

- “This is a weird one.”- Garcia’s voice took me from my staring competition with Spence.

- “As opposed to?”- Morgan questioned as Prentiss kept pouring herself a cup of black coffee. I looked at her for a second, she looked nervous and tired. Did something happen to her? She had been acting a little off, but I thought she might be dating someone. Maybe the Scottish guy she kept talking with.

But it wasn’t time to sniff around my friend’s life. It was time to work and I had to make an effort to focus.

My cell phone rang as I grabbed my go bag from my desk and headed to the elevator. Spencer was waiting for me to go to the jet.

- “Hey dad!”- and that was a call I didn’t want to answer.

- “Hey peanut! how are you doing? Where are you today?”

- “Just leaving town. We are on our way to Los Angeles.”

- “Again? what’s wrong with that city?”- I chuckled and held Spencer’s hand as we got into the elevator.

- “I don’t know, but clearly, sunny weather ain’t no certainty of security. How are you?”

- “I’m well, just calling to catch up with my favorite daughter.”

- “You know I’m the only one you have, right?”- I joked and my boyfriend chuckled, overhearing my conversation with my father.

- “So, when are we meeting for lunch?”

- “How about dinner when we come back from the case?”

- “We? Are you bringing Spencer?”- oh shit…

- “Yeah, is that ok?”

- “Of course! I love that kid. There are still a few scrapbooks I haven’t shown him.”- his excitement made me chuckle.

- “He is going to be so thrilled.”- and I wasn’t even being sarcastic.

- “Then it’s a date. Call me when you get home and please be safe.”

- “You too dad. I love you.”

- “I love you more, peanuts.”- I hung up and turned to Spencer, who kept playing with my fingers the entire time.

- “Do I have to ask your dad for permission to date you?”- his voice was a soft whisper, I don’t know if he was afraid of my answer or paranoid about getting caught talking about our relationship.

- “Are you scared of what he might answer if you ask?”- I whispered, leaning closer to him. Spencer smiled, kind of awkward, and cleared his throat. But before he could answer, the elevator’s door opened and we were forced to walk, rather quickly, to the jet.

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) frowned as she stared at the corpse’s pictures in the case file she held. We were in the jet on our way to Los Angeles, and she kept the satin scarf around her neck, covering the hickey I left on her skin the night before. I remembered second by second the moment I marked her as mine. I remembered clearly how her body felt under mine. She trembled as my lips traveled slowly from her mouth to her neck, enjoying the taste of every inch of her skin. The sound of her moans and sighs kept guiding me and encouraging me to go on.

- “Reid?”- Morgan raised an eyebrow and kept staring at me with a silly grin.

- “What?”- I widened my eyes as I waited for his words.

- “I asked you if, considering we are going to Los Angeles…. You might give Lila Archer a call.”- there was a silence in that plane, too awkward to even describe it. (Y/N) raised her eyes at Morgan and if looks could kill, my friend would be buried already.

- “No. Why would you even suggest that?”- I shook my head as Derek simply shrugged.

- “I think, Spencer, that our dear friend here just wants to find all the ways to make you feel uncomfortable around me at work, ‘cos he can be a jerk sometimes”- my girlfriend said and sighed- “I would say it’s disappointing, but it’s actually what I expected from him.”

I just kept my eyes on her, as Morgan just chuckled and turned to Hotch. I kept my eyes on (Y/N), she was still looking at the case file and clearly, something was bothering her, so I made my way to the kitchenette and started making a cup of tea for her and one for me as well. My mind kept going back to the images of (Y/N) naked under me on my bed, so I started rambling facts about the case, in a desperate attempt to focus on work, and avoid getting a hard on in front of the team.

- “Methanol is compositionally speaking the simplest of the alcohols. It's actually ubiquitous in the environment. There are small traces of its vapor in the atmosphere, but atmospheric methanol is easily oxidized by sunlight.”

I didn’t even breathe.

- “Is it toxic?”- Prentiss asked right away.

- “Ingesting 10 milliliters of it will cause permanent blindness, and as little as 30 is potentially fatal.”- I kept giving facts and picked two bags of earl grey tea.

- “These victims had between five and six ounces in their lungs.”- Morgan seemed confused by my words, but I just continued talking and poured hot water into two cups.

- “You know, if they were immersed in it, they would have died even without ingesting or inhaling it. When absorbed through the skin, it depresses the central nervous system to an unsustainable degree.”

- “Well, what's it used for?”- Morgan kept his eyes on me as I walked to (Y/N) and gave her a cup of freshly made tea, and sat next to her, as she whispered a sweet thank you. I couldn’t help but picture her naked again, so I started spitting facts one more time.

- “What isn't it used for? A solvent, an antifreeze. In World war II the Germans used it for rocket fuel. It's used in wine-making. Its most commonplace use, however, is in the creation of other chemicals. Methanol can become plastic, plywood, paint, explosives, and permanent press textiles. It's essentially the chemical used to separate other chemicals from each other.”

- “Breath, honey.”- (Y/N) smiled at me and landed her hand on my knee, making me realize I was rambling too fast.

- “Can it be bought? Is it tracked?”- I heard Prentiss’ question but didn’t answer it by decision. Instead, I focused on the warm feeling (Y/N)’s touch gave me. It was soothing and relaxing. Just knowing she was there made me feel better about basically everything.

- “California's got some of the strictest environmental laws in the country. I'm sure it's regulated.”- Hotch analyzed, and Rossi continued talking.

- “Yeah, but methanol is also used in making biofuels, which quite a few people have been doing at home. I'd imagine the sale of it is fairly commonplace.”

- “But he needs enough in which to immerse a body.”- Hotch replied, and though I wanted to add a thought, I didn’t. I held (Y/N)’s hand instead and intertwined my fingers with hers.

- “All the victims were nude, but there's no evidence of sexual assault on any of them.”- Morgan added, and Prentiss continued talking.

- “And the skin was removed from the bottom of the foot. Unless we're talking about a foot fetishist, you actually can't get further away from sexual areas.”- (Y/N) let my hand go suddenly and tapped on my leg sweetly. It was my cue.

- “Yeah. Impotent sadists like Robert Napper typically take their frustration out on their victims. You'd think there'd be a lot more kill.”

- “And what he's doing is very specific, very focused. It’s not just about sex or power.”- my girlfriend added, and I nodded at his words.

- “What about the skin patches? Is this a trophy of some sort?- Rossi questioned, staring right at me.

- “I have no idea. Skin, independent of any other substance, would wither and die rather quickly.”

- “ Well, that might be the thing that's forcing our unsub back out on the hunt.”

- “Considering the wide divergence of abduction and dumpsites, this guy could be anywhere. L. A. is over 500 square miles.”

- “Uh, 498.3”- I corrected and Morgan shook his head, annoyed.

- “And the fact that no one has seen him either abduct or dispose says he knows the city and its patterns well. Day and night, it's all the same.”- Rossi looked at (Y/N) and waited for any word coming from her. She had been very quiet since we got on the plane. But instead, Hotch spoke.

- “Reid, you and (Y/N) start working on how he is getting so much methanol, plus a geographical profile. We need to narrow down his hunting area.”- we both nodded and re-opened the file again. I was excited to know I was paired with her. Hotch trusted me, and that felt good. I didn’t want to let him down.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I hated Hotch. He kept pairing me with Spencer, and I felt like I was never going to do my work in peace again, ‘cos I kept thinking about humping that hot boyfriend I had every minute of every hour we were together. It was already hard enough leaving the house every day on time for work, and keeping my hands off him for over 9 hours every day.

Honestly, I don’t wanna sound like a horny teenager, but I had held myself back for years. Years! I didn’t want to anymore. I didn’t feel like I could. So when I saw Spencer walking toward me in those tight gray pants and that white shirt, I knew my day was gonna be hell.

- “Ready chipmunk?”- he whispered and I nodded- “Ok, let’s get to work.”

The last thing I wanted to do with Spencer was work. Every hour was torture. I couldn’t even kiss him in that police station. And no, I didn’t try to sneak him into the bathroom with me or anything like it, though I thought about it more than once. I had to make sure to keep it professional.

At least until that night.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew it was childish, and most of all, it was just what Hotch had asked us not to do the minute we told them we were together. But none of that actually mattered, ‘cos there I was, sneaking into Spencer’s room in the middle of the night.

He opened the door and smiled at me, wrapping his arms around me before I could close the door behind my back.

- “Wait, Batsy, someone might see us,”- I whispered and turned around, but his arms locked me against his chest, and his lips moved quickly all over my skin.

- “I missed you so much,”- Spencer whispered and pushed me against the door, closing it.

- “We were together the whole day”- I chuckled and sighed, enjoying the nice welcome.

- “But being professional and not kissing you all day is horrible. It’s torture!”

I stared at him, unbuttoning my shirt, and bit my lips. Spencer Walter Reid was my boyfriend, and I couldn’t be happier to enjoy his love.

- “I missed kissing you too,”- I murmured, running my fingers through his hair as his lips made their way to my neck, sucking carefully my skin, making me moan in a second.

- “I swear, we are catching this guy tomorrow, so we can go back home and be together”- I chuckled at the desperation in his words, but I couldn’t even answer, ‘cos someone knocked at the door, and the two of us froze, wide opening our eyes, feeling caught.

- “I’m busy”- that was all Spencer managed to say.

- “Open up, kid. We need to talk.”- Derek commanded from the hall. I quickly buttoned my shirt as Spencer looked at me, almost like a lost puppy, and fixed his clothes too.

- “Sorry,”- I whispered, and gave him a short smile. Defeated, my boyfriend opened the door, and I waved at Morgan, who widened his eyes as soon as he saw me there.

- “Shit, kids. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be here.”

- “It’s ok. We were just catching up on a few things. I have to go back to my room anyway. It’s late already. I’ll leave you two to talk.”- I kissed Spencer’s lips, feeling Morgan’s eyes on us the whole time.

- “Good night, chipmunk,”- my boyfriend whispered and caressed my face sweetly.

- “Bye, Morgan”

- “Sleep tight, pretty girl.”

I closed the door behind my back, and Morgan nearly yelled right away.

- “My man!!”

I could only imagine Spencer’s cheeks as he heard our friend’s teasing. We knew Morgan would give him a hard time when we told them we had started dating.

- “You owe me”- I read the incoming text from my boyfriend and chuckled as I laid back in bed.

- “No, you owe me a thousand kisses”- I texted back and closed my eyes, waiting eagerly for his reply.

- “Deal. But I get to choose where I kiss you”- how on earth did I wait for so long to tell him I loved him?

There was one downside of dating Spencer, though. My boyfriend was very insecure. He was jealous and scared someone was going to show up and steal me away from him. He couldn’t see he was the sun of my days, and that I would never change him for anyone else. Like that could ever happen. I had been in love with Spencer Walter Reid since day one, and though we had only been together for two weeks, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. No questions asked. If he asked me to marry him that night, I would have accepted in a second, and actually, drag him to the nearest church.

The following morning, when we reached the police station, Spencer took a look around the room and scanned the bunch of police officials that greeted the team. There was nothing out of the ordinary, so I smiled at him and continued walking to our office, where we started working right away. Morgan called García and asked for information about the taxi companies that worked in the area of the latest abductions, and for a moment, I enjoyed overhearing their random conversation. Until...

- “SSA (Y/L/N)”- one of the police officials knocked on the door and half opened it. We all stopped and turned to see him, but he just smiled and walked in.- “Good morning, I just wanted to bring you something to eat with your coffee”- and just like that, he gave me a donut. I didn’t know how to act, or what to say. I never saw that coming, honestly. So I just cut him a very polite smile and watched him walk out of the room.

The way all of my teammates looked at me was embarrassing, to say the least. But the look in Spencer’s eyes was pure jealousy.

- “Someone has been breaking hearts at the station while we’ve been breaking our backs trying to catch a serial killer.”- Morgan joked as I shook my head right away.

- “I have no idea what this is all about”- and I wasn’t lying.

- “You are cute, (Y/N).”- Prentiss smiled at me and grabbed the donut- “And if you are not gonna eat it, I will gladly help.”

- “Thanks”- I mumbled as she continued talking.

- “We can go out for drinks when we get home. Maybe you can get us a few rounds for free.”- Spencer stood up and faced the blackboard with leads in one corner of the room. Of course, he was mad. No questions asked. And of course, the team had to make it worse.

- “I’m actually surprised this hadn’t happened before. Bad luck for this official, Spencer already made his move.”- and Morgan chuckled at his own joke.

- “Let’s focus on work now.”- Hotch basically commanded, his expression serious as I nodded and took a look at the room. Prentiss kept reading files as she ate the donut, Morgan did the same, trying to steal part of the pastry. Spencer didn’t turn and kept his back to us, pretending to be focused on the board. But I knew he was just jealous.

- “What about a gypsy cab?”- Rossi pointed out after a short silence- “They roam around in unregistered vehicles with fake insignias that look legit.”

- “There are 2,300 registered cabs in the city and at least as many unregistered.”- detective Bailey added, as Hotch kept walking around the room looking even more serious.

- “And no one pays any attention when they get into a cab.”- Rossi sentenced.

- “If he's unregistered, he's not gonna sit outside taxi stands and wait to pick up fares in the traditional way.”- I added and kept my eyes on the map behind Spencer, trying to see if there were any official taxi stands there. But mostly ‘cos I wanted to see if Spencer turned to look at me. But he didn’t.

- “Which makes him either harder to find. This guy could be anywhere.”

- “Detective, can you gather everyone? We'd like to give the profile.”- Hotch interrupted Morgan and we all stood up to get ready. Detective Bailey walked out of the room, along with Rossi, Prentiss, and Morgan. But I stayed behind with Hotch, waiting for Spencer.

- “What is it, Reid?”- our Unit Chief asked, and I prayed we just talked about our professional issues.

- “When I was in school, we used to use methanol to separate chemicals from each other. Whatever we did, we’d clip a sample of the source material to label and keep next to the output.”- my boyfriend explained, frowning.

- “What kind of samples?”- I asked him, already knowing the answer.

- “Square samples 2 inches by 2 inches.”- right like our unsub.- “I think this guy's a scientist and he's experimenting.”

- “What kind of samples could he be getting from each girl?”- I asked but neither of them answered - “It sounds like that book, “Perfume.” Do you think he is trying to capture an essence?”- I asked, honestly wondering if this case was related to the book. But neither of them could give me an answer.

- “Let’s deliver the profile”- Hotch walked to the door and I held Spencer’s hand, stopping him from walking away.

- “We’ll be there in a second”- I cut Hotch a short smile and pulled Spencer’s arm closer to me, as he tried to walk towards the door.

- “Two minutes”- I nodded at Hotch’s words before he closed the door behind his back.

- “Don’t be mad at me.”- I whispered right away, and the word left my lips more like a plea than as a command.

- “I am not mad at you, chipmunk.”- Spencer mumbled and looked at his feet. He was nearly pouting, and I couldn’t help but feel it made him look adorable. He was too cute for his own good. And mine. How could I control myself around him if he looked like that?

- “Then why are you acting like this, honey?”

- “I just… how should I act when some random cop just stops a meeting to flirt with you? And I know I can not tell them you are mine!”

- “I don’t care if a cop gives me a donut! I don’t even like donuts! I just want you. I love you!”

- “And I love you too”- Spencer whispered as I moved closer and wrapped my arms around him, feeling the warmth of his body invading mine, making me feel loved, protected, and… automatically aroused.

- “You are the one who is gonna take me home as soon as we catch this killer. Don’t forget that.”- I added and looked at how his cheeks turned red in less than a second.

- “I know… I just… it’s hard to forget you are way out of my league. I still don’t know who I got lucky enough to call you mine.”- and that just hurt.

- “What? Who says that?”

- “Everyone who knows we are dating”

- “Honey Bunny, I am not out of your league. You are hot, smart, and funny! and most importantly, I love you!”- I stood on the tip of my toes and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to plant a kiss on his lips. It was fast and sweet, and it left me wanting more immediately.

Spencer stared at me, dumbfounded for a second. And that’s when Hotch opened the door and stared at us.

- “We are waiting.”

Spencer’s point of view

The team was out, (Y/N) and I were alone at the station - alone in the middle of all those officials- trying to narrow the geographic profile. And you know what? Despite my initial thoughts of Hotch longing to torture us, I was actually enjoying my time alone with my girlfriend. I knew I would never be able to work if we were apart. I could never live with myself if anything ever happens to her while we are together.

- “This is impossible”- (Y/N) mumbled, staring at the blackboard- “This unsub is all over the city, dumping bodies like a pizza delivery guy”- my phone rang that second, it was Prentiss.

- “Could it be smell?”

- “What?”- that came out of nowhere. Well, not exactly, (Y/N) had said it earlier, but we had nothing to link it with yet.

- “Could smell be what's attracting him to his victim?”

- “Distillation extraction.”- I whispered and turned to my girlfriend.

- “I told you it was like Perfume”- she shook her head as I went through the plot of that book in my mind, again.

- “Well, I hope you know what you just said, 'cause you lost me.”- Prentiss said at the other side of the line, and I proceeded to briefly explain the facts.

- “Methanol can be used to create scents or aromas. If you soak something in it for hours, it draws out the essential oils. Emily, let me call you right back, ok?”

- “I’m gonna call Hotch”- (Y/N) said as I hung up my phone.

- “And I’m gonna call García. We have to narrow down all the equipment needed to distill an essence.”

- “And I thought homemade scented candles could be a nice hobby”- (Y/N) joked as I dialed.

- “Hello loverboy, what can I do for you today?”

- “Hey García, I need you to help me track and address where a specific kind of equipment has been delivered.”

- “Do you have a list?”

- “No, but I can dictate it very fast”

- “Tell her I can fax it”- (Y/N) interrupted me and Garcia chuckled.

- “That is the best girlfriend ever, right there. She deserves a donut.”- of course, Morgan had told her already about what had happened that morning. It felt like nothing could ever be private working in the BAU. I bit my lip, as I meant to tell her (Y/N) doesn’t like donuts, but instead I heard Garcia say goodbye.

- “Hotch is on his way with Rossi”- (Y/N) announced, sitting by my side to start writing down all the equipment for a distillation extraction home lab, while I stared at her for a minute.

- “What?”- she whispered- “Am I forgetting anything?”

- “Receiver flasks”- I read the list quickly and my eyes moved back to her lips as she smiled. I had to close my eyes for a second and list prime numbers to control myself.

- “So, I was thinking, they are showing the original “Solaris” tonight back home. If we get there on time, do you wanna watch it with me?”- my girlfriend asked and for a moment, all I could do was stare at her in silence.

- “Marry me”- I whispered and her sweet laughter filled the room. I knew my cheeks were burning red 'cause I meant it. I wanted to marry her, right there, on the spot. I knew it since the day I met her, and now that she was mine, it was impossible to hold my feelings back.

- “Just ‘cos I wanna watch the best sci-fi movie meditation of all time with you?”- she continued giggling as her lips touched mine for a second.

- “Well… yeah…”- that was all I could answer and I just stared at her, probably looking like a dork. She loved calling me a dork, and I just wanted to be her dork.

- “So, if we make it on time, can we invite Prentiss?”- (Y/N) whispered and looked around, though we were alone, and we had been for at least an hour.

- “Why? I thought you meant going out as a date”- I looked down at my hands, fidging on a piece of paper, as she kept her eyes on me. I could feel her smiling.

- “We can have a date after… maybe a sleepover. But I feel like Emily needs a little fun. She seems kinda distant and worried. I don’t know why. Maybe she misses JJ.”

- “We could invite her too”

- “I don’t think JJ would enjoy Solaris as much as we do.”

- “Right, she doesn’t speak Russian”- (Y/N) chuckled and held my hand.

- “Neither do I.”

- “Yeah, but you know I’m gonna whisper the translation in your ear the entire movie.”- I answered and moved closer to her, landing a hand on her waist.

- “Aren’t you getting bold, Dr. Reid?”- (Y/N) whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck.

- “I’m getting…”- but before I could finish talking, Rossi and Hotch stormed into the room.

- “Oh come on! hang a tie on the doorknob next time! I don’t wanna see that!”- David argued as (Y/N) moved away from me.

- “Sorry, sorry! I’m gonna fax this to Garcia.”- and just like that, she left the room.

But though it was a very good plan, we didn’t get to watch Solaris that night. And it wasn’t because Prentiss turned us down (‘cos of course, she did), it was because (Y/N) remembered she had made plans already, and she couldn’t cancel.

- “Chipmunk, are you sure this is a good idea?”- I turned to her before we exited her car, trying my best (and failing) not to show how nervous I was. And I would have been embarrassed, but she was worse than I was. My girlfriend was actually pale, scared to tell her father we were dating.

- “I am positive I have no idea.”- she mumbled and sighed- “But if we hide it, it’s gonna be way worse.”

- “Yes, that’s true. But if we tell him, we are gonna have to tell your mom, and your brother.”

- “And then we are gonna have to move”- she added, giggling. And those giggles made me chuckle, as I held her hand and kissed it.

- “With you? I would go anywhere”

- “Dad is a cop, remember that. He knows how to track people.”

- “Witness protection program, chipmunk. We can make it”- and her giggles turned into laughter that made my heart flutter- “Come on, the quicker we do this, the quicker we are back home, and you promised me a sleepover”- I opened my door and ran out to open hers and help her out of the car.

- “Peanut!”- Chief (Y/L/N) stood up and opened his arms to hug his daughter. And just then I remembered how much he intimidated me. He was sitting all alone, drinking a scotch, waiting for us. And somehow that made me feel like a kid. A weak kid who was about to tell the scariest man alive that he was sleeping with his daughter.

- “Hey daddy! I missed you so much!”

- “How is my little princess doing? Did you catch the bad guy? Hi Spencer!”- and suddenly, I froze. All I could do was wave, but chief (Y/L/N) grabbed my hand and shook it.

- “Sorry we are late, we just got home after the case”- (Y/N) excused us as we sat at the table. I quickly grabbed a menu, basically to do something, as my girlfriend leaned over to her dad and rested her head on his shoulder. Yup, I watched her cuddle with her dad right in front of me and somehow it made me feel jealous. Is that bad? ‘cos I felt bad about it. I also felt weird to hear her calling him “daddy.” But I refused to think further about that at that minute ‘cos I felt like a perv. And mostly ‘cos I felt I was developing a weird kink I didn’t know if (Y/N) was going to like.

- “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you are here, kids. Were you on the field?”

- “No, Hotch kept us at the police station the entire time we were in Los Angeles, which was great actually, ‘cos I didn’t want to deal with the heat. Is this for me?”- (Y/N) grabbed a glass and sipped it- “Gin Tonic!”

- “You deserve it, peanut. You had a long few days. I also asked for a Sprite for Spencer, ‘cos you told me he is cutting caffeine at night”- I looked at my girlfriend and she sincerely blushed, embarrassed. So she talked to her dad about me. I already knew she loved me, but that silly confirmation made me feel so cared for.

- “So, tell me, kids. What’s new?”- we both opened our mouths but no word came out. It was too fast to just drop the news, right? Or at least that’s how it felt.

- “Not much”- my girlfriend answered quickly and cut her father a big grin- “How about you?”

- “Since the last time we met, not much either. Oh, your brother has a new girlfriend. Did you know?”- (Y/N) shook her head and turned to me, I just sipped my Sprite and hid behind my menu. It felt like it was going to be a long awkward night.

- “He has been dating for over six months, I am actually proud of him. Maybe not telling us made his relationship work, finally”- Chief (Y/L/N) joked as the waitress came over to take our order. That forced us to pause our conversation and focus on food for a minute. But as soon as the waitress was gone, the topic came back.

- “So you think keeping a relationship a secret from family can be a good idea?”- (Y/N) asked, biting her lip.

- “No, but I think whatever helps your brother keep a girl longer than a weekend is good enough for me.”- I nodded and smiled, awkwardly at chief (Y/L/N)- “How about you, Dr. Reid? What’s new?”

- “We are visiting my mother by the end of the month.”- that was the first thing that came to my mind and I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth.

- “Sounds like a good plan. Where do you stay when you go to Vegas?”- and suddenly I felt like I had to explain to chief (Y/L/N) I was actually sleeping with his daughter.

- “We alternate between a Holiday inn near the institute and a Marriott closer to the city, where Spencer can’t get into any casino ‘cos he was banned at eighteen.”

- “Why do you always bring the banned from the casino thing?”- I argued embarrassed as (Y/N) and her dad chuckled.

- “‘Cos it’s fun to see you get all embarrassed out of something that is actually quite funny.”- my girlfriend sipped her gin tonic and looked at me in a way that I still wasn’t used to. She looked at me like she wanted to get me naked. And that made my pants tight in less than a second. I hadn’t made love to her in two days and it was turning into agony.

- “Actually dad, there is one thing Spencer and I wanted to tell you about.”- but her words took me from my thoughts and slammed me back to reality.

- “Sounds serious. Everything ok?”- (Y/N) turned to me and immediately, her father followed her. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I felt worse than during my first interrogation with an unsub. I felt like I was thirteen again, in my first college class.

- “Ok… so, what (Y/N) wanted to tell you is that, contrary to what most people thought, we were able to take the next step. And though it was hard, and though it really took us way too much time to do it and admit it, the truth is…”

- “Are you trying to tell me that you two are finally dating?”- (Y/N)’s dad wide opened his eyes and stared at me as if I had just confirmed we found the cure for cancer. I just nodded and felt her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers.

- “Are you fucking kidding me?”- chief (Y/L/N) stood up and automatically I caught a glimpse of his gun on his belt. Great. I was going to die.

- “Dad, I know this might be a little bit of a shock, but I love Spencer and we finally decided to…”

- “A little bit of a shock?! Peanut, it took you forever!”- and right after that, (Y/N)’s father wrapped me in a tight hug that forced me to stand up.- “Well son! you are officially part of this family now!”

- “Dad, we are dating, not getting married”- you could feel the embarrassment in (Y/N)’s voice as she spoke.

- “After how long it took you two to get together, I actually settle for just dating. As long as you are together, in love and happy, I don’t want anything else.”- chief (Y/L/N) tapped on my back and smiled, then turned to his daughter and hugged her too.

- “Just take care of each other. I had never imagined a better man for my peanut. Does your mother know?”

- “His mom or my mom?”- (Y/N) asked as we all sat down again and Chief (Y/L/N) raised his hand to call the waitress and ordered champagne to celebrate.

- “Either”

- “No, no one knows. You are the first family member we tell the news to, but that’s why we are going to Las Vegas in a few weeks, we wanna tell Diana face to face.”- (Y/N) added and turned to me with a huge smile- “I wanted to tell you first ‘cos I knew mom was gonna make a huge deal and Phoenix is gonna try to act like a protector brother.”

- “You are right, peanut. Your brother is gonna try to threaten Spencer, so get ready for that scene, son.”- I bit my lips and nodded, as the waitress appeared with the champagne and glasses.

- “To you, kids. And to love. I am more than sure you two will make each other very happy for a very long time.”

Later that night, I was trying to catch my breath on (Y/N)’s bed. She was wrapped around my body, sweating and resting her head on my chest. I hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head as I felt her sigh and giggle for a moment.

- “What’s so funny, chipmunk?”

- “The fact you just made me call you daddy.”

- “You didn’t like that?’”

- “Try to stop me from doing it again, daddy.”

- “You have to be a good girl first. Earn it.”- (Y/N) giggled and started leaving sloppy kisses on my chest, up to my neck until she reached my lips.

- “I promise I will be good for you, daddy.”

- “You have to be good now and sleep. We still have to work tomorrow.”- and for a moment, we just lay on her bed in total bliss, listening to each other’s breathing. Until my sweet girlfriend sighed and looked at me.

- “It’s scary.”

- “What chipmunk?”

- “The fact that everything is finally perfect.”- I smiled and kissed her nose, making sure I had her locked in my arms, safe and sound.

- “Why is that scary?”

- “I’m afraid something very bad is about to happen.”

- “Don’t think that. Nothing bad will happen to you, or me, or anyone around us if I can help it.”- I kissed the top of her head and tried to be as soothing as possible.

- “I just… I had never been so happy before.”- I could hear the embarrassment in her voice as she confessed her feelings.

- “Me neither.”- I whispered and felt her kiss my neck in reassurance- “Maybe that’s what’s scary.”

Little did we know things were weeks away to turn into the biggest and saddest mess we had ever faced before.

- “Perhaps.”- (Y/N) made a pause and sighed- “I just don’t wanna lose you, honey bunny.”

- “I promise you, you won’t, ma cherie.”

Next chapter

Taglist:

General tag list

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego @muffin-cup @cynbx

Spencer Tag list

@calm-and-doctor @lovejules888

DIWK Taglist

@tvandfanfic @shilohpug @eternalharry @fandomtrash2405 @eyakoroleva @nani-2305 @padsfirewhisky

BIY tag list

@miaxx03

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler #babymetaldoll writes #spencerreid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds

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justanotherrpmeme · 9 months

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Anxiety sentences

"I can't shake off this feeling of impending doom. Something bad is going to happen." "I can't catch my breath. My heart is racing, and I don't know why." "What if everything goes wrong? What if I mess it all up?" "I can't help but overthink every little detail. It's exhausting." "I feel like everyone is judging me, scrutinizing my every move." "I wish I could just relax and enjoy the moment, but my anxiety won't let me." "My mind is constantly filled with 'what ifs' and worst-case scenarios." "I'm so afraid of making a mistake that I'm paralyzed by fear." "I can't trust my own judgment. It's like there's a voice inside my head constantly questioning everything." "I wish I could switch off this constant worry, but it's always there, lingering in the background." "I can't handle uncertainty. It feels like a constant threat hanging over me." "I'm sorry if I seem distant. Sometimes my anxiety makes it hard for me to connect with others." "I'm constantly second-guessing myself. It's like I'm never good enough." "I worry about things that haven't even happened yet. It's exhausting and irrational, I know." "I'm always on edge, waiting for something bad to happen. It's a never-ending cycle." "I overanalyze every conversation, wondering if I said the right thing or if I came across as awkward." "My anxiety makes me doubt my abilities. It's hard to believe in myself sometimes." "I wish I could switch off my brain for a moment and experience some peace." "I'm constantly seeking reassurance because I can't trust my own instincts." "I'm sorry if I seem overly cautious. It's just my anxiety trying to protect me."

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aleksanderscult · 6 months

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Meta about the scene where he kisses her? The tether one?

Dear anon, I sincerely want to thank you for this meta ask. 'Cause while I was analysing it I felt so many emotions (*wink* *wink*) and I noticed some things that I didn't before. ❤️❤️

(By the way, if you chose this Darklina scene because it's your favorite, then congratulations! You've got taste 🤝😍)

This is gonna be two parts because I overanalyzed (again).

(Part 2 here 💛)

So it's obvious that Alina was thinking of the Darkling before he came to her that night:

She's realizing that the Darkling was right. Mal can't understand her, she will never be ordinary or have an ordinary life and the only person that truly understands her, her powers and emotional world and conflicts is the person she wants to kill.

Now let's get to the meat of the story 😋

The Darkling sensed her loneliness and understood that Alina came to realize how right he was. That, in addition with the fact that he has missed her too, made him respond to her and give the both of them what they want. The desire to be close to one another and satisfy their sexual desire.

Also, the fact that he's so soft with his kisses makes me think of how pleased he is that Alina and Mal are separated and now he is the one that gives Alina what she wants.

(we're not going to talk about how he takes his time to explore her face 'cause I'll scream😩)

Can we talk about how he always kisses her throat though? 🫠🫠

Just like I said, he sensed her loneliness which echoed his own and he responded. 'Cause even though he kept visiting her almost every day, he still missed her. He missed touching her and kissing her. Being close to her. Just seeing her wasn't enough.

The way he slowly dominates her but at the same time he gives her what she wants.😏😩

Am I the only that can hear this line??😭😭👀

The way they are softly panting, their heartbeat rising, their movements, bye--

AGAIN THE THROAT *SCREAMS*

Also, here he was softly sucking her skin and no one can tell me otherwise. 🙂🙃

Wait I just realized something.

DID HE LEAVE A HICKEY BY ANY CHANCE?!??!

Truth is I don't understand this. "Mal" is supposed to be kissing you, touching you etc. and you still have doubts? But then of course her instinct is screaming to her that something is not right.

(the way she just senses the Darkling)

Just imagine seeing this scene, this image on screen, guys. 😍😩

Not that shit second season we got but THIS!

It would be phenomenal for every Darklina stan.

That little shit🥹🥹

He deliberately let his guise fall and it brings him joy 1) to hear Alina say these words to him 2) seeing Alina horrified that she was kissing him and saying these words to the wrong person. He's like, "Gotta ya😏"

The continuation of this ask on part 2 💛

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borrowedtimeandspace · 8 months

Text

Suitcase of Memories

24. Memory

From this list of gt prompts

AU: Time After Time (Twelve AU); direct continuation of "The Second Hand Unwinds"

Note: I LIVE. I can't say these will be frequent, but I do plan on finishing out all these gt July prompts. Eventually. Hoping I can build momentum back up!

~~~

"You haven't aged a day," the Doctor observed, shifting the pad of his thumb ever so slightly to brush the tears away from Zepheera's very tiny cheek. "I assume. Considering your vastly extended lifespan, which it seems you still have. Though I've been getting subtle hints lately that I might be a bit biased in my perception of–,"

"I see you still ramble on." Zepheera gave a tearful chuckle. Such emotional vulnerability was a rare thing for her these days, but it simply couldn't be helped now that she was talking to her long lost friend. "New face, same old Doctor."

The corner of his lip gave the slightest tug, as though a smile snuck its way there before it thought better of it and retreated. He felt her grip on his thumb relax, and he slowly turned his hand palm-up next to her.

"How long has it been for you?" he ventured to ask.

Zepheera ran her hands down her face, pulling herself together a little before climbing into the offered hand. She focused on settling in the middle of the living platform to delay answering the question.

"Honestly? I sort of stopped keeping count after a while," she said as the Doctor slowly drew back from the shelf and turned toward his desk. Then she glanced his way, finding his frown deepened in concentration. "You?"

The Doctor hesitated himself, as though lowering his hand to the surface of his desk required so much focus. "The same," he answered at last, once the back of his hand had come to rest there.

Hopping off of his hand, Zepheera fixed him in a knowing look. "Is that a lie, Doctor?"

"Yes."

Zepheera nodded. As the Doctor carefully took a seat, she began meandering about the desk. He noticed that, while her gaze wandered to all the things he kept there, her feet moved at a confident pace. She moved as though she were having a walk around a familiar neighborhood rather than exploring a new place. It wasn't new for her.

"I suppose I can estimate," Zepheera admitted as she drew close to the picture frames. She focused more on her own reflection in the glass than the faces she'd grown accustomed to seeing there. For her own sanity, she tried not to think too hard about what had separated them all that time ago. She tended to overanalyze those moments, pretending that there was something she could have done differently that would have changed things. As such, she'd packed those memories away as best as she could.

She supposed now was as good a time to unpack them. Who would understand better than the Doctor?

"That thing… it sent me back in time. To a different place."

"Bad habit of the Weeping Angels," muttered the Doctor with a bitter bite to it.

"Dropped me in Dublin, 1929. I waited, but you didn't show up, so I reckoned it didn't get to you. After that, I felt like it was my job to get back there, to the time and place where I lost you. Catch back up to just after the attack, and pick things up where you left off. Even if it took 80 years.

"But… it found me before I could."

"Before?"

Zepheera gave a helpless shrug. "Best guess is, my first encounter with it wasn't its first encounter with me. I remembered you said they feed off all the days you might have had, and…I guess it could tell I had plenty more to give. It was like it could sniff me out, or maybe it sensed the time travel energy on me, but every time I got close it managed to find me and zap me to the same time, but a different place."

"All-you-can-eat potential energy loop." Realizing he'd said that out loud at probably an insensitive time, the Doctor cleared his throat and sat back in his seat, lacing his fingers in front of his chin. "How'd you get out of it?"

With a sigh, Zepheera turned her back to her reflection and leaned against the frame. She hugged herself around her middle as she studied the grain of the wood desk, dredging up a not-so-distant memory.

"I had help. The third time it sent me back, I managed to run into someone in the same boat as me. Another undying snack for an Angel." Remembering herself, Zepheera glanced up to meet the Doctor's gaze. "Captain Jack Harkness says 'hi', by the way."

The Doctor nodded in understanding. It had been a good long while since he'd run into Jack, but he could see how he would end up in such a predicament. "I trust he behaved himself."

That got a dry chuckle out of Zepheera. "Strictly business there," she assured him, recalling Jack's flirtatious disposition. "Really, it was lucky we ran into each other. I happened to be there when he got shot back to Liverpool in the 'fifties. Since we couldn't beat our Angels individually, we came up with a plan to lead them on, somewhere remote where we could trap them. Trick them into staring each other down for eternity. It was quite clever. You would have been proud."

Any trace of a smile melted when Zepheera remembered the tough choice she had to make, and she once again found it hard to maintain eye contact. "Except, in order for it to work, we had to lure our Angels far away. I had to give up on meeting back up with you, the one place and time where I knew you would be. And of course, by the time we finished and I made it back, you'd gone."

A pregnant pause extended between them. At least as far as the borrower was concerned, the rest was history. Zepheera shook off the oddly heavy feeling that had come over her.

"Look who's rambling on now," she chuckled, running a sheepish hand through her short brown hair as she shifted her weight away from the picture frame. Desperate to change the topic, she said, "So… new face, eh?"

The corner of the Doctor's lip tugged into the slightest dry smirk as he considered her observation. "Second one since the one you knew."

"Still you, though," Zepheera stated without an ounce of uncertainty. That much she'd always known.

"Same software, different case," the Doctor mused, gaze softening and sliding toward the corner where the TARDIS stood.

#gtjuly #gtjuly2023 #doctor who gt #doctor who g/t #doctor who crossover #the borrowers #the borrowers crossover #borrower OC #Zepheera #Time After Time #TAT: a BTaS AU #giant #tiny #giant/tiny #twelfth doctor #sfw gt #giant tiny

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ayaitch · 8 days

Text

Well, I got through the Embassy quest. Here's the only clear picture of Chekkatah that I could get. My photo mode finger wasn't very fast when I was going through it, and I most certainly didn't want to restart it for another chance at pictures. Sorry, Chekkatah. Another time.

Other scenes I tried for he was too far into the background and was very fuzzy. He's clear here for the split second before his screen time ends. Spoilers and (lengthy) thoughts below the cut, just in case? Idk.

Chekkatah's about to risk his life to try to pull someone out of further harm's way. (Or so I tell myself.) But alas, he runs from cover just to die immediately with an arrow in his back of all ways to go. It made me sad when I first played that he wasn't even given the "noble"/"honorable" way to go out fighting the enemy, defending someone, or whatever. He got shot in the back.

When I first went through this quest, I actually thought he was trying to run away, which I had scoffed at when I saw it, but (and maybe I'm delusional after having decided that Ikkotah is the best and so want to think his husband was worthy of him, he deserves the best) subsequent views of the whole cut scene definitely made it look like he wanted to get an injured (already dead?) soldier out of the continuous barrage of fire arrows. Which was nice, if a bit futile.

However, I remain a bit annoyed by the Embassy as a whole. I get that they were very outnumbered, fighting against a superior force that had both the high ground, the element of surprise, and came ready to wipe the floor with the very small contingent of individuals gathered for peace talks. But these are supposed to be the Tenakth soldiers who are the best of the best of the best, sir, with honors. They all died far too easily, even Fashav and Javveh, though to a much lesser extent. Again, it was for the plot, I understand, but it still would have been nice if the Marshals could have had more of an impact in the battle or left a more competent mark. Even Nozar, who we're not supposed to like, went out in a better way than the Marshals.

Maybe I'm just too salty about Chekkatah in particular, because his death really sucked, and someone had to tell Ikkotah that his husband died from an arrow in the back. Every single time we see these warrior tropes exercised in stories, emphasis is always placed on honorable ends; to die while fighting or defending. Even the trial by combat after a Tenakth soldier is grievously injured is to provide them an honorable death. To die from an arrow in the back would signal cowardice or ineptitude.

I know I'm overthinking it, and one can make the argument that he died while trying to get someone to safety, but it still feels like Chekkatah wasn't actually using his brain at that moment. Which best of the best warriors should be able to do in the heat of battle. Even a surprise one. He just saw someone needed help and went to go help. I suppose that's noble enough, that his gut reaction is to help without a second thought, but seriously. Under a hail of arrows, you're just going to dash out there? Seriously, Chekkatah? Even Aloy with plot armor doesn't do that. Though the way I play Aloy, she definitely would do that....

This seems to have turned into a proper rant, which was unintentional. I just meant to expound on some thoughts that always bothered me when I think about this quest or play it. The Carja too. They waited way too long to retreat. As soon as Regalla showed up and called out Fashav specifically, it should have been, OK, team, we're out. We did not come to fight, this was a meeting of peace talks, we have no real way to defend ourselves for any kind of fight. Skirmish, maybe, but an ambush would have been retreat in double time.

Again, plot, I understand. As someone who likes to write plots though, I can't help but overanalyze motivations and how realistic and understandable certain reactions would be. I struggle with the Embassy because very little of the motivations make cognitive sense to me. And I try to look at many perspectives. Maybe I'm not as good at that as I thought I was, because there are so many illogical reactions. I know it was a battle and people aren't thinking very well under that kind of stress, but again: best of the best normally have better snap decision making skills and quick assessment abilities.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my talk. Maybe I'm the only one who agonized about the Embassy for a reason that isn't Kotallo's maiming and Fashav's death. At least they both went down fighting.

I'm not saying any of this to start a debate about the psychology of battle or consistent framing of certain aspects of the story and/or cultures, or to actually gripe about this (I love this game and its predecessor too much to actively dislike something), I just wanted to think out loud about why I feel so blah after the Embassy is over. It was high feelings, and an instantly lovable character came and went all in one fell swoop, one our favorite guys gets terribly injured and loses all his close comrades, and Varl gets hurt. And then to have Ikkotah be the most heartbroken sopping wet kitty I've ever met just really seals the deal on how sad that whole thing was.

Also, this particular go through, Aloy ended up in such a position that Javveh's poor dead body was flung at her after the whole thing is over. It was a bit startling when the playable scene sets and Aloy's got Javveh's ankles around her ears for a split second before his body crumples to the ground.

#horizon forbidden west #chekkatah #hfw npc #horizon forbidden west embassy quest #this is a very long post beneath the cut #Apparently I had Feelings to work through #Make private later and post Chekkatah's cute face by itself

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vexic929 · 8 months

Note

returning the favor!! thank you bestie!

☀️🌬🌌🪹🪨⛰🌋🌈

of course!!! thank you for the ask!

☀️ Sun - What's your favorite part of your WIP?

which one? lol but honestly it really tends to be the more dramatic scenes, I find myself enjoying and succeeding at writing tense moments most often, they just come easiest to me :)

🌬 Wind - What was the easiest part of your WIP to write?

again, the tense moments lol (particularly torture scenes? there's probably a lot to unpack there but I ain't got time for that)

🌌 Clear Skies - How long have you been writing your current WIP?

one I've been plotting since college so about 12 years? my newest one is literally like a couple months old lol

🪹 Drought - What do you do to help with Writer's Block?

cry I've never really found anything that helps honestly, for the most part I just wait until it passes on its own

🪨 Landslide - Which WIP has the most worldbuilding?

my main original story which I haven't posted much if anything about on tumblr yet lol (I did post my lesbians in an art post but I think that's it?)

⛰ Earthquake - Which WIP has the least worldbuilding?

my thallen au, mainly because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna keep 90% of canon worldbuilding so I don't need to do a whole lot lol

🌋 Volcanic Eruption - What's your biggest flaw as a writer?

I tend to second guess myself to death and overanalyze every single piece of dialogue because I really don't ever feel like it sounds realistic (because I just straight up didn't talk for most of high school so I didn't get a lot of practice lol)

🌈 Rainbow - What do you think makes your story unique / stand out?

my characters, my plots may not be 100% original all of the time but when I create original characters they always have a little piece of me and that can't really be replicated for better or worse

#practically an x man #practically-an-x-man #ask game #vexic answers #vexic lives

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datturtle · 1 year

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For as long as I can remember, there's been a voice in the back of my head that's constantly telling me what I'm doing wrong, and what I should be doing instead.

It feels like I have a permanent Filipino mom installed in my subconscious. Whenever I have something that I know I need to do, the voice in the back of my head tells me I should stop what I'm doing right now and just do that thing instead, stop wasting time.

Even when I'm just trying to relax and do some thing W that I enjoy, that voice in the back of my head gets even louder. It tells me I don't deserve to enjoy myself. Why haven't I done X, Y, or Z yet? How can I even live with myself like this?

So I go ahead and try to do X. But when I do, I'm constantly distracted. I'm second-guessing my ability to do it properly, and overanalyzing my every attempt at doing X. Then I ultimately fail to do X. The voice in my head tells me I shouldn't be having this much trouble with this at this point, am I really 28 years old? What a sorry fucking excuse for an adult. I keep making such stupid mistakes, and REPEATING these same mistakes. I don't think I'll ever learn how to do this properly.

I have put off doing Y for a long while, and the voice in the back of my head gets even louder.

Why have you been putting off doing something so simple? Just go fucking do it, you idiot. This is why you never get anything done, because you take so long thinking about doing Y without actually doing it. What are you preparing for? You're gonna fail anyway, so why even bother planning so much? You're hopeless.

So I finally do Y, and I feel momentary relief. But then the voice gets smug.

Wow, that took you long enough. See, you could do it after all. If only you just listened to me earlier, then this wouldn't have been such a big deal. Why don't you just do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it? You're so difficult. You already know I'm right.

My mood is sour. I don't even feel like doing Z anymore. I'm not even confident in my ability to do it, and now I'm exhausted just thinking about it. It's better that I don't even try, and wait till I'm in the right mindset to tackle it.

And the voice goes,

Wow, you're really gonna use that excuse again? You're tired? What have you even done? You've failed at doing X, barely accomplished doing Y, and you're not even gonna start on Z? You're gonna wait for the right mindset? Okay, so when is that happening? Because it sure as hell has managed to escape you for the longest fucking time. You don't have the right to take it easy right now. You'll never catch up at this rate. You're just a fucking waste of oxygen, you know that? Other people don't even struggle this hard doing such a simple task. Look at the people you know. Do you think they struggle with doing Z? No, because they've all grown up. They learned to do that on their own so long ago. But you? You're nothing but a fucking child in a man's body. You let your fear of failure control your whole life. You're just a loser who refuses to look reality in the face, who ignores his own problems and keeps finding all sorts of excuses not to do the things you know you have to learn how to do on your own. You're not a victim, you're just a coward. You're fucking cringy. You're embarrassing. You're disgusting. I hate that I have to live in such a shitty, half-assed life. You're just wasting your time. You never get anything done. You always let people down. Especially those close to you, who just want you to get better. What results do you have to show for all that effort you told them you were putting in? Huh? Why do you keep letting them down? Do you actually not care about them? You're really gonna make excuses when so many people are counting on you to get better? You even started to make a list of all the things you have to do, so you wouldn't forget. So you can't even use that excuse anymore. So what is it, huh? Tell me, why won't you just fucking do what you're SUPPOSED TO DO?

I've had it with this voice. So I just choose to ignore it, and do whatever I want to do. But the more I try and ignore it, the louder it comes roaring back, when I least want to hear it.

I decide to try and finally enjoy W. But it's different this time. That guilt in the back of my mind has grown 10x larger, and it's only getting worse. Now I hear the voice in the back of my head judge me at the games I'm playing.

Wow, this is something you're doing for fun, right? Why are you so bad at it? If you can't even get good at the things you're trying to enjoy, why even bother? You're wasting your time. If you're gonna spend time getting better at something, at least spend it on learning to do something that will actually improve your life.

Okay, there goes my relaxation. But maybe I have a point there. So I decide to channel some of that energy into getting good at journaling. After all, it's something that I've been wanting to do for a while anyway.

But I have slip-ups from time to time. Whoops, voice is back.

You're so inconsistent with your journaling, are you even trying? It takes 30 days to establish a habit, but you've failed half a month into the new year. It's like you don't even care about getting better. This clearly isn't working out for you, so why don't you just give up and save yourself the trouble? Hey, with all this time you spent on getting better at journaling, why didn't you spend that time and energy on Z? You could've been done with it by now.

It's like I can never win with this voice. It's an endless hate machine, that does nothing but cast judgment. It never acknowledges what I do right, and it has a seemingly endless amount of energy to point out what I do wrong. Whenever I accomplish anything I set out to do, instead of feeling a sense of satisfaction, I just feel relief. Relief that I don't have to worry about doing that thing. And then go on to doing the next thing.

It's an endless cycle with no mental reward, that I think has ultimately led to me burning out. I want to change it. But whenever I do try to change it, I end up thinking I just want to rip that part of me out entirely. And that never ends well. It ends up coming right back, manifesting in ways that I least expect--sometimes even externally, directed towards the people I care about. I hate that the most.

I've come to understand that I don't need to necessarily discard this voice. It can be useful at times. I just need to learn that I will always have these types of thoughts, they're a part of me that I just need to accept. I don't have to let these thoughts inform my actions. But that's much, much easier said than done.

Yeah, considering how much trouble you had just doing Z, good luck trying to get rid of me. I'm the voice that's gotten you this far, after all. You're nothing without me.

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forcedtoland · 2 years

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jacin clay in "cress" (2/2)

hi!!! welcome to part 2/2 of me just talking about jacin clay because i finished rereading cress and i love him a ridiculous amount

remember when i said the second part would be up "in a few days"? yeah me neither.

part 1 can be found here!

this post will cover his moments in cress from chapter 29 and on. enjoy<3

disclaimers:

this post might include spoilers for all of the lunar chronicles series, since i sometimes make links with moments from the other books!

it will also probably end up being long because i have the wonderful tendency to overanalyze everything

for a bit of context, cinder just found dr. erland in farafra and is staying with him with part of the crew. part of crew being iko (still body-less and working full-time as a ship at that point of the book), wolf (unconscious) and jacin (barely trustworthy snarky potential-maybe-hopefully ally). not exactly an ideal situation, socially, for cinder.

jacin is painting over the naked lady on the rampion ship to cover it — HE DOESN'T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS

he actually isn't getting paid at all he seemingly dislikes working with them and at that point he shows no clear motive to why he's helping them. i can't imagine how confusing that must be for cinder.

and yet he still cooperates. sure he throws in a lot of snarky remarks here and there (read: every 4.7 minutes) but he's still cooperating. and yet he's very much expressionless and keeps his mind blank all the time, shows no effort to seem trustworthy to the others... very much giving "oh i like to keep people guessing"

"Hey, mongrels, try to stay in the lines!" — i had to look up what mongrel means and even after searching i'm a bit confused but all i can say is that please do not let jacin babysit kids alone ever he'd terrorize them

wait but no he wants to be a doctor i like to think that he secretly is good with kids or maybe he only realizes that post-winter (when did this post turn into a hc)

"I’ve taken enough orders in my life.” YOU GO JACIN

no but he's kinda right even if he was harsh with cinder? the kids' painting was adorable but it wouldn't exactly be discreet when the entire world is on the look out for the rampion...

when cinder says “You have a funny way of showing loyalty.” and he just chuckles in response — and let the ambiguous loyalty misunderstanding continue

he chuckled

also stop being cryptic jacin this is why no one likes you /j

i really need to share this entire interaction because i was laughing so hard

Jacin’s concern turned fast to annoyance. “Your ship has some messed-up priorities, you know that?”

“Iko. My name is Iko. If you don’t stop calling me the ‘ship,’ I am going to make sure you never have hot water during your showers again, do you understand me?”

“Yeah, hold that thought while I go disable the speaker system.”,

jacin: ship, can you stop talking

iko: but i'm iko, the literal reason you have warm water and functioning lights i could literally cut off your internet access right now and make sure you always get locked inside the bathroom i will—

jacin: ok iko, can you stop talking

like he's just so annoying but i can't even be mad because it's so funny. my guy is stuck with people who don't trust him, outnumber him and could easily take him down if needed and he insists on antagonizing them at any chance he gets just because he can.

i love that the others never hesitate to put him in his place though like yess rampion crew humble him make him develop those social skills

i promise he's my comfort character

Cinder punched him.

Jacin stumbled against the wall, already chuckling as his hand came up to his cheekbone. “Did I hit a nerve, or was it a wire that time? You have plenty of both, right?”

what can i say.. if he gets punched again after this that's on him

thing is, jacin's so hostile when cinder is talking about her plan because he thinks she's just insane like ?? what is this 16 year old outlaw doing trying to overthrow a tyrant

you have to remember he has NO idea she is princess selene and he definitely did not sign up for this

at least kai believes cinder is doing it because she found princess selene. jacin never even considered the possibility of selene being implicated he literally just can't figure out what's wrong with these people and why they even think they have a chance against levana

long-ish quotes because jacinter<33

"I’m here because I saw an opportunity to get away from that thaumaturge without getting killed, and—” He cut himself off.

“And what?”

His jaw flexed.

“And what?”

“And it’s what Her Highness would have wanted me to do, although now she’s probably going to die for it.”

!^*#*%*@*×&#&#,,HERE WE GO

first let's appreciate the fact that he flexes his jaw and stops himself from mentioning winter

it's just. the fact that every time he thinks or mentions her his entire demeanor changes and it's so painfully visible. he's trained his whole life to hide everything from his face but he can never control his reactions when it comes to winter.

the way he abruptly cut himself off isn't something he can just shrug off. everyone noticed it. everyone knows he was about to say something important or he wouldn't have reacted that way. he probably knows that avoiding the question again (which is about the reason he joined them) would just make him more suspicious so he continues what he was saying and mentions the princess, basically confirming that he's not working for levana in any way.

also in the last sentence, and in a later quote too, he implies that something might happen to winter... and we all know what jacin does at the end of cress right

and then the big reveal, the moment we've all been waiting for: “Princess Winter. Who do you think?”

like sorry but he has NO clue why everyone would ever question who "the princess" is or why they're surprised and it’s just so funny to me? just thinking how in his perspective the rampion crew probably seem like a bunch of weirdos (like, on top of it all, you don't seem like you know who THEEE princess winter is? do better.)

“I thought maybe the princess would be proud if she heard about me turning against Sybil. That she would approve of my decision. But who am I kidding? She’ll never even know.”

HE WNATED HER TO BE PROUD OF HIM SHUT UP??????

i'm sorry but i just. they . i always talk about how jacin kept being a lunar guard no matter how hard it was for him so he can protect winter & his family but can we also talk about how one of the main things winter has always wanted was for him to be able to escape this life? even if it meant she would have to stay alone?

jacin and winter depend on each other's presence to endure the lives they've been forced into. they give each other a reason to tolerate it no matter how bad things get. and yet, all they want is for the other to be able to improve their situation.

jacin would do anything for winter, that we know. and since she's in no position to ever leave her situation (unlike jacin who technically can try, but would risk too much) the best thing he can do to help her is stay by her side, even if it means sacrificing a lot.

meanwhile, the fact that winter encourages him to leave means that she is willing to let go of him if it means him living a better life. considering her situation, her condition & the fact that jacin is literally her only friend, it takes so much selflessness to put him first like that.

they just want the best for the other. they love each other so much.

and obviously, jacin never planned on leaving her for good here, but for once he's taking initiative. he doesn't want to follow orders anymore. he took a chance. and winter would be proud of him for that.

“Do you … do you love her?”

He glared at her, disgusted. “Don’t try to push your swoony psychodrama on me. I’m sworn to protect her. Can’t very well do that from down here, can I?”

jacin, baby, you're also "sworn to protect" levana, i don't think that excuse really works here...

and there he goes contradicting me right after i said they love each other so much. but he didn't deny it, did he?

“Protect her from what? Levana?”

“Among other things.”

Jacin peered at her like he couldn’t figure out why he was wasting his time with such an idiot.

that last line@^*$ he really has no idea why his loyalty to his "princess" (the only current lunar princess) would ever cause so much confusion.

now, a necessary compilation of jacin clay being an absolute menace

when they're all surrounded by authorities and cinder asks jacin if he can control any of the humans, and he goes "Yeah, right." — he doesn't even TRY ???? also this shows that he doesn't believe in his lunar gift skills at all oh wow

this thorne/jacin interaction:

"In that case, has anyone seen my gun?”

“I’ve got it,” said Jacin.

“Can I have it back?”

“Nope.”

a MENACE i tell u

but also good on u for not giving a blind man a gun, jacin

"When he did talk, he tended to say something rude or prickly." that's my boy

take a shot every time someone describes him as looking extremely bored

“Let’s say you manage to pull this off, not that I really think you will.” — WHAT HAPPENED TO BOOSTING TEAM MORALE

cinder giving him instructions and him repearing "I know." after each sentence (until thorne cuts her off and goes "Cinder, he knows." — he might have saved some lives here)

also i need more thorne/jacin interactions i can't wait to reread winter & stars above

AND...... jacin betrays them

i'm going to be honest there i haven't read the 4th book in so long so i forgot some things related to that — like i know he did it for winter's sake but the exact specific reason is just a vague memory so i can't say much about this part

but we do get this scene with him and levana and i feel like it's so important to point out the fact that the queen herself decides to confront some "lowly guard" and you can even tell through their conversation how much she's just looking for an excuse to have him be considered a traitor... and obviously she'd love that to make winter suffer

jacin claims that he infiltrated the rampion crew as a spy and that he betrayed them after gathering info, etc.

he says that he's the one who gave sybil the location (did he though? i forgot lol)

levana tries to test his mind for rebellion but his mind is blank as always — obviously she's disappointed to not find anything but can we just talk about how ???? like even levana who has an EXTREMELY strong gift and an insane amount of practice can't even get near his thoughts and oh he's able to do that

NO DOUBT YOUR EAGERNESS TO RETURN ENCOMPASSED A DESIRE TO SEE YOUR BELOVED PRINCESS AS WELL

and THERE the "tiniest ripple of emotion" before he goes all blank again

sorry i know i've said this before but even after years and years of practice and mastering that expressionless face it takes the MOST MINIMAL mention of winter for it to break in an instant my heart hurts she's his weakness and he doesn't even try to pretend otherwise

like. he goes on saying he serves the entire royal family — first of all, very careful wording because levana would be the type to find ANYTHING to use against him (like i can totally see her going "oh, so you don't protect my beloved stepdaughter? that's treason" if he hadn't)

but also it prevents him from telling a full lie about it. idk if this makes sense but something i've noticed is that jacin is ok with lying / hiding many things but when it comes to winter, he goes with half-truths.

is it because he knows he can't control his expression anyway and that his emotions would give him away?

is it because he knows they would force it out of him if he tried to? (since he's used to being controlled)

maybe it's that something in him prevents him from denying it, like even if it's a lie he just can't say it...

idk... but i do know that he didn't attempt to lie about it even with the rampion crew

no one, not even lunars with their gift, can figure out his thoughts so it actually seems fair that we rarely have any idea what goes through his mind either lmao

WHEN JACIN FINDS OUT THAT CINDER IS SELENE AND HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO HIDE HIS EXPRESSION

it's like. Oh. Oh.

suddenly everything starts to make sense to him and i have to say it had me grinning

actually, thinking about it, it's kinda good that jacin acted like an antagonistic jerk for 90% of cress (guys i promise i love him) because can you imagine if the rampion crew trusted him? if they had shared their secrets with him?

not only would hiding the plans he'd have known about from levana have been nearly impossible, but he also might not have had a properly shocked reaction at dr. erland saying that cinder is selene and hide the fact that he had known like...

levana would have gotten to them so easily.

in conclusion, jacin clay is the reason the lunar chronicles has a 4th book in the first place. his sarcasm single handedly extended the plot. everyone say thank you jacin.

this is technically the last moment jacin appears in cress BUT if you think i wasn't going to scream about winter talking about him to scarlet, then there is no way you have been actually reading this post because of course i'm going to scream about it

first things first, she is playing make-believe doctor/patient with scarlet

I REPEAT: doctor & patient

this isn't even directly related to jacinter but i don't care i'm making it about jacinter

when she talks about jacin going missing :(((( i'm so upset can you imagine how hard it must have been for her... her going "and I don’t know if he’ll ever come back" and nearly dropping everything

i just find it so interesting that while jacin never shows his emotions, you can feel winter's strongly. like she's so physically expressive, and not just in terms of facial expressions.

"But I asked the stars to send a sign that he was all right, and they sent me a shooting star across the sky."

despite scarlet not really looking like she's about to answer her / cooperate, she just keeps going and asks whether he's safe... she's so worried about him i'm actually sad

more about how expressive winter is:

when scarlet confirms she saw jacin: "Glee spread over the girl’s face."

the instant scarlet implies that jacin might have been killed: The smile vanished and the girl shriveled away, tying her arms around her waist. “You don’t mean that.”

it's just so interesting how marissa meyer made them complete opposite in that aspect. winter shows her emotions in such an open, unfiltered way, to the point you feel that emotion yourself, meanwhile jacin...

“Jacin Clay,” she whispered. “Sybil’s guard, with the blond hair and beautiful eyes and the rising sun in his smile. Please, tell me he’s all right.”

i love this quote a lot because first of all you can just feel how in love winter is oh god she loves him so much (also it's just so endearing coming from her)

second of all, it's just the huge contrast between the jacin we've seen up until now and winter's version of jacin (who is technically his real personality)

and obviously, as i'm rereading this i can immediately go "awww" but i can imagine that when reading it for the 1st time, when you don't know either of them that well, you'd go ?? who? is winter just blinded by her crush that she sees what she wants to see? or has jacin clay actually been nice to another living being before in his lifetime?

and scarlet mirrors that thought perfectly because she's like,, well i remember a blond guard but definitely not a rising sun in his smile. or a smile point blank. also he tried to murder us.

and then winter doesn't even react to the last part. him trying to kill other people. she's absolutely unconcerned.

and it's not in a "oh yeah he does that sometimes" type of unconcerned (which i've seen with different fictional characters for who killing is a 'normal' thing). but no really, her lack of concern about it is because she knows he would never do that willingly.

she knows he has had to do things he doesn't want to do as a guard. that fact doesn't change the image of jacin she has, since she's known him for so long, way before he became a guard.

and i just love that because all the other tlc ships meet during the story's timeline, right? so they all have their moments where they don't fully trust the others, or doubt each others' loyalties, etc. especially in the early stages of each relationship, you have several moments where a certain action one does or miscommunication causes some sort of conflict between them.

take wolf/scarlet, for example, wolf also gets forced into doing things unwillingly, and despite knowing that, scarlet still hesitates in trusting him.

not that it's a bad thing! if anything, it's realistic. completely normal. even when you really care about someone, if you don't know them enough, sometimes 1 wrong move (even if it turns out you just misinterpreted the situation) can make you mistrust them for a while.

but jacin & winter are way past that stage like there is nothing one of them could do that would make them immediately think the other might be a bad person after all or anything like that. they just know each other too much for that.

plus, she knows how ridiculously rational he is all the time so she knows that if he did a certain thing, he had his reason and it was probably his best option at the time.

have i mentioned how much i love them btw

so. that was something.

pleeaaaase leave your thoughts in replies and reblogs let's talk about jacin i want to talk about jacin

i'm also planning on rereading winter at some point, too, and i'm wondering if i should make a jacin post for that. will it end up being 6 parts long? perhaps. but i'm still considering it.

if you somehow made it to the end and don't yet want to block me for how ridiculously long this post is, then congratulations! you are now officially a citizen of the Jacin Clay Nation. we are proud to have you here with us.

part 1

#ik i make fun of him a lot in this post but i swear i love him #jacin clay #the lunar chronicles #winter hayle blackburn #jacinter #jacin x winter #winter x jacin #cress #marissa meyer #tlc #tlc reread

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thepenultimateword · 2 years

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Righthand x Henchman: Part Two

Oof, this is a bit long, but oh well! Here's the Original if anyone wants to read that first.

Villain snapped the head off one of his wooden figurines--the one meant to represent hero--and tossed it to the streets of his city model like a destructive giant.

"This time that hero is dead!" he said, voice edged with a cackle. One allnighter of planning later his burning ember eyes were half-closed and swollen, and his dark, shaggy hair tangled around the ram horn on the right and tufted out on the left where Hero had snapped the other horn off. He still wasn't used to having nothing to tuck it behind so it was generally ridiculous, but pulling on it all night didn't help. Hero was just lucky she hadn't touched the gazelle horns; he got weird about those, probably would've blown up the whole west side. "We begin movement first thing tomorrow.

"Hm, yes," Righthand agreed absentmindedly where he was doodling in the margins of their blueprints. "Would you like me to do the physical evaluations for the combat teams?"

Villain squinted at him; anyone else would have been intimidated, but Righthand knew he simply needed glasses but wouldn't set up an appointment. "The what?"

Righthand pushed out from Villain's desk. "We're supposed to evaluate the combat team semi-annually to gauge the level of their fighting abilities That way we know which people to send up against Hero and which to use against smaller threats or for general acts of force. We haven't evaluated any of them for over a year now, but I'd like to get back on top of it with this new plan. So, would you like me to take charge of the evaluation?"

"Well...I don't want to do it, so I suppose so. But where is this coming from all of a sudden?"

"Very well. I'll send out a memo and stop by their department this afternoon. It should take up most of the day."

"Aren't you going to take a nap or anything? I can't afford to look after you if you fall asleep on the job tomorrow."

"I'll be fine," Righthand waved him off, already stepping through the connecting door of their offices.

"I'm serious, Righthand," Villain said, pounding his fist in his palm, "I won't have this ruined bec--"

"I understand, and I'll be fine, ok? Ok. Talk later." He eased the door shut with a heavy sigh, running both hands through his long hair as he approached the mirror hanging on the far wall.

He usually looked like a corpse, but now he was a corpse with eyebags and unwashed hair. Wonderful. He pulled a hair tie off his wrist with his teeth and gathered his inky hair into a half-up. A few thumb-rubs beneath his eyes later, he didn't look any better.

Ugh, he was so over this!

He flopped into his computer chair and began typing up the evaluation email.

"...an evaluator will show up at 12:00 pm...evaluations will be staggered every hour for every 200 henchmen...every member should be present and punctual at their correct time...sincerely, Executive Management..."

Click and send.

Righthand stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, tapping his fingers absently on his desk. A small glance back in the mirror made him cringe. He finally had an excuse to seek Henchman 1462 out directly, and he couldn't even look himself in the eyes.

Maybe he wasn't built for this sort of thing. Relationships. It was why he worked with Villain; he was good at breaking things not building them. But plenty of successful villains were in relationships, so that was really just an excuse for his own feelings of inferiority. The nagging in his gut that he would never be good enough. Wait, good enough for who? Her? She was the henchman, he was the second-in-command if anyone was more desirable in this relationship, it was him. She should feel flattered that someone as powerful as he was even looking in her direction. If she even remembered him. It had been nearly three weeks since the cafeteria incident. A small blip in the span of a human lifetime. An incident more impactful for him because of his propensity for overanalyzing everything. He could hardly expect her to remember the existence of someone-- But he was basically her boss! She knew who he was from the start. She'd have to be a complete idiot not to. Which she was not. He'd gone over her tests for employee on-boarding and maybe she wasn't ever going to win the Nobel Prize or even get higher than a C in any Calculus class on the planet, but she definitely wasn't straight stupid.

His brain continued to run at the same breakneck, indecisive speed throughout the rest of the morning and into the physical evaluations. Several senior henchmen were helping him through the process, but as hundreds of employees were evaluated and sorted, as he marked off each and every one of them, counting up the numbers and checking the clock in anticipation for the 7:00 pm time slot, it hit him for the first time just how ridiculously far he was willing to go to see one person again. He was in trouble.

Righthand rubbed his burning eyes, as the next silent group filed in. For once, he was actually oblivious to the henchmen's cold, discomforted demeanor. How could he worry about something like that when--

A hand shot up at the back of the group. "Can I go first?"

The familiar voice sent Righthand's guts writhing. She was as rumpled as the first time they'd met, though maybe it actually had less to do with the state of the uniform and more to do with her undone buttons and lack of the mandatory tie.

"Your number?" Righthand asked coolly, as if he didn't already have it branded into his memory.

"Oh, uh, 1462." The bright expression on her face faltered and Righthand hated himself for the words he was already saying.

"Then you will be the 62nd person evaluated. There is a correct order to these things that must be strictly adhered to."

1462 blushed a little but nodded, a mixture of abashed and understanding. "That makes sense."

Of course, I want you to go first! he shouted internally, wishing he could counteract the damage he just inflicted. I've been waiting for you all day, and the only thing that sounds better than sleeping right now!

This was fine. He'd just say something nice when he evaluated her. Casually compliment her skill. Yeah. He could still salvage this. Or at least, that was what he thought before she paired up with one of the senior henchmen as an evaluator instead of him.

He watched helplessly as she was cycled through the first test. What could he do? Tell them no? For all his thinking, for some reason, this problem had never occurred to him. Perhaps he'd thought seeing her from a distance was enough, but it wasn't. He needed her right here. In front of him. Maybe closer. For what he wished wasn't the 57th time, he remembered her arm around him.

"Um...sir?" the henchman he was supposed to be evaluating piped up nervously.

"Yes!" he yelped, heat rising to his face as he whipped around to where his position deemed his attention should be. He fumbled with the stopwatch on his tablet. "We'll just begin with something simple: how many push-ups you can do in a minute."

He kept strict control of his expressions and the direction of his eyes for all of 13 minutes. Numbly entering his charge's times and stats while listening to #1462 pant and exclaim only 5.4 feet away. He would have liked to believe he could have made it the entire 15 if it weren't for the semi-commotion that suddenly roused as #1462 was excused.

"Get off the mat," the senior henchman snarled.

"Just one more try," #1462 begged.

"I said get off!"'

"I can do better. I was just a little off."

Righthand turned just as the senior went to snatch #1462's arm, and she threw up her wrist and blocked him. A sharp smacking sound pierced the air as she whacked away his palm. He made a move to grab her again, but this time she caught his arm and threw him down on the mat.

"It will only take 15 more minutes," she said pleadingly. Was she really still asking after tossing her evaluator? As if feeling his gaze, her eyes flicked up and met Righthand's. "I just want one more try at the evaluation. I really know that I've been sorted wrong. I just got nervous, but I can do better!"

Her voice slowly raised in volume. A little too much as the whole room slowly stopped what they were doing. One came up from behind and seized her by the shoulders. She easily shrugged him off, but then her evaluator was back off the ground and grabbing her too.

Righthand held up his hand, and all three henchmen froze. "Let her go."

#1462 rapidly stepped toward him. "Could I have another evaluation? Please?"

"If you can't perform under pressure, that's that. There are no second chances in the real world." Righthand's voice sounded unfeeling even for him.

"But I'm usually great under pressure," she said, starting to sound a little desperate. "I just got a little distracted. I can prove it!"

"You get one evaluation, and that's it," he said automatically. "We don't have time to test every egoist who believes themself stronger than they are."

Righthand wished she'd punch him because he knew he’d never be able to hit himself with the force he deserved. But instead of getting louder or angrier like he expected, she wilted. He couldn’t look at the sad way her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth pulled together so tight he only just saw how it quivered, so he turned his back and only listened to her exit.

He was so stupid. But could he have done it any differently? He would’ve said the same thing to anyone, and he needed to treat her like anyone else or everyone would know. She would know. And was that actually a problem? He wasn’t sure. But he’d made the right choice. And also the wrong choice. He focused on work, losing himself in the monotony. He wished he could get so distracted that he would be forced to excuse himself, but for some reason distractions just made him work faster. It was like the part of his brain that worried and the part that problem-solved were two separate entities on the same team, working simultaneously while never interfering with each other. He finished all the evaluations at 11:00 p.m. sickeningly on time.

He exited the gym last, wanting at least a few seconds to properly hate himself before he went home to immediate sleep and then became too caught up in Villain’s plans in the morning.

When he pushed out the double doors and into the quiet hall, Henchman #1462 was sitting on the floor with her chin resting on her knees. Righthand’s heart felt like it was pulsing in his throat and he began to cough suddenly and uncontrollably.

#1462 looked up and immediately jumped to her feet, surpassing Righthand by a few inches.

“I’m sorry,” she said before he could speak. “But…but you said to let you know if I ever need anything, and I do. So I’m calling in the favor now. And before you get mad and fire me, remember that I got first degree soup burns for you. So please let me redo the evaluation.”

Righthand blinked, taking a moment to sort out the jumble of words she’d spewed at him.

“Oh, sure,” he said. It was too quick a change of heart, but he needed her to stay.

Her olive eyes widened. “Sure? Wait, you mean yes? You’ll let me?”

Righthand held open the door for her to re-enter the gym. “I happen to have some time, and you’re right, I owe you, so if you don’t tell anyone, I can make it happen.”

“I knew you were nice!” she burst too loud, so it echoed on the gym walls. “Er…I mean thank you.”

They moved to the center mat, and he pulled up her profile on his tablet. D-Rank. She’d scored low in every test. That surprised him with the way she’d defended herself earlier.

“Why is this so important to you?” he asked as she positioned herself for the push-up test.

“Money,” she said bluntly. “D-Rank has a much lower pay. I can’t afford a cut right now. Plus, if people think I'm weak it kinda pisses me off." She raised her head toward him, the overhead light catching on the eager glint in her eyes. "I'm ready."

She was better than Righthand had ever imagined. She crashed past every average and surpassed more than half of the records. She had not been lying when she said she could do better. Which begged the question, why had she done so badly the first time? By the end of the 15 minutes, she had been moved to the A-Rank, and Righthand was almost drooling. He never thought he was the type of person who was especially impressed by strength; he openly mocked the hero fan clubs that glorified brawn. But for some reason, this was really doing it for him.

He snapped his mouth shut as she met his eyes.

"How was that?" she asked.

"Amazing," he said immediately.

She grinned then perked up like a hound on a scent. “Want to see how much I can bench press?”

“The evaluation is over.” He didn't want her to keep feeling the need to prove herself when she'd already done more than enough.

“Oh, right…”

“But I’m intrigued, so I would love to.”

He had a weakness for the way she lit up like a sunbeam when he agreed with her. It was this that made him agree again and again, trailing her from exercise machine to pull up bar to weapon's room and finally at the bottom of a tree on a nearby park swing set.

Righthand gripped the chains and leaned way back in the swing to see the latest on #1462's tree-climbing progress.

"I'm sorry for what I said," he called up.

"What you said? What did you say?"

"Earlier, when you first asked for another evaluation. I was worried about looking leniant and didn't know how to act. But I wanted to help you from the start."

The tree stopped rustling for a moment. "Really?"

"Yeah." Righthand pushed off the woodchips a couple times, each time catching himself in the same spot before he could swing forward. "I don't usually watch people climb trees for no reason."

"What's your reason now?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted honestly. "You were talking, and next thing I knew I was here." He shouldn't say too much, but maybe it would be ok to admit the bare minimum of his feelings. "Actually, I wanted to see you again ever since the soup accident. Only...I wasn't sure how?"

Ugh, what sort of villain talked like this? He was second-in-command; he should be more confident.

"I'm coming down," Henchman said.

"Did you reach the top?" Righthand leaned back again.

"No, I'm just coming down." A few minutes later her boots thudded in the woodchips. A leaf stuck out of her short hair and the moon illuminated a wicked scratch across her cheek from one of the branches.

"Um...I'm kind of dumb sometimes," Henchman said, kicking at the ground. "So maybe I'm reading this wrong...but you distract me. A lot. And it feels nice when you’re paying attention. And I know we’ve only talked twice, but I guess I wanted to ask...would you want to, um, do something sometime?"

"More something than we are now?" he asked, chest squeezing tight.

"Yeah, more of an official, er, date something?"

"You want to?" he blurted out disbelievingly then immediately caught himself. "Yes. I mean, yes."

Sunbeam once again. She was going to turn him to puddle if she kept doing that.

"Well, not tomorrow cause there's the heist," Henchman said. "But maybe Saturday?"

Righthand jolted at the mention of tomorrow. His watch read 2 a.m. Villain wanted to move at 7 a.m., and Righthand was running on 38 hours without sleep.

He was definitely going to blow Villain's heist. But he really didn't care.

#righthand x henchman #villain #villain x villain #fiction #hero #superheroes and villains #heroes and villains #hero and villain community #creative writing #hero x villain #writing snippet #strong lady x weak guy

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haechanokeh · 3 years

Text

I’m Right For Your [pt. 8]

[teaser] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 2 ] [ Chapter 3 ] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (general): corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

your eyes were squinting as it became sensitive to the morning ray of the sun. but your breath hitched when the first thing you saw was mark in his serious face.

woke up in the wrong side? why does he look… awfully upset? you asked yourself.

"we need to talk." he said in a serious manner, you could see from his eyes how urgent or determined he was.

you sat up and leaned back against your bed's headboard. he sat up too, one leg on the bed folded, and the other on the floor and he's facing me.

"did you remember anything before you slept on me?" he asked with his eyes slightly wide open as if he's anticipating something but it is something serious.

"you mean before i passed out?" you indirectly made a correction of his statement of you sleeping on him, because you literally passed out. mark fucked your brains out.

you saw from your peripheral view the wall clock, then your eyes widened in shock.

"mark! we're going to be late!" you gasped and kicked the comforter on your legs but he quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you back to bed. your back bounced on your fluffy bed and in just seconds, mark's on top of you straddling over you.

"we're skipping." he said in a low tone voice.

"what?" you were bewildered by what he said. "do you have a fever, are you okay?" your cupped his cheeks.

mark felt like he's going to melt from your touch but he needs to settle things between the two of you first and by force is also in his options.

"y/n, answer me, what do you remember you knocked up?" he asked you again.

"moaning?" you really can't remember anything.

"tsk." he was kinda pissed, he thought maybe this you were trying to push your agenda of not falling for him. you heard something clicked but you're not that curious about what it was.

"moaning? i'm sorry i c- mark!" you yelped when you felt a familiar shaky shape against your bud. "is that my vibrator?" you asked in disbelief and hands about to push him but he quickly pinned both of your hands on the bed with just the strength of his one hand.

"next time, hide it very well. this beautiful thing…." he put it in max that made you swear. "sitting on top of your underwear." he smirked. mark just wanted to dress you but his pervy thoughts won.

mark was pressing the vibrator harder on your clit and sliding it between your folds caused nothing but an increase of libido. right here and there, you wanted to be fucked again.

"mark…" you moaned.

"yes baby?" he whispered into your ear and bit it. You groaned and lifted your hip wanting to push your pussy harder on the vibrator. “y/n, do you remember what you said to me last night? Hmm?” he’s licking the side of your neck and nipping it. Your abdomen hardens in arousal.

“no, I couldn’t…” you honestly replied. You couldn’t the last thing you remembered was that you were a mess and passed out because of the good fuck.

Mark lifted his head and faced you, nose inches away from you. His eyes, those dark dominating eyes are back like at any moment about to make your knees functionless.

“you’re so cruel.” there was a glimpse of disappointment in his eyes. “ you gasped when he inserted a finger inside you but the vibrator didn’t move an inch. “and if i tell you what you said to me, you’ll deny it. you’re always like that, do you know that?”

“ohh sht.” you cried out and clenched his finger when he folded it. every time he folds it he always hits your spot. mark already memorizes your anatomy, he already knows how your body works and what turns you off, that’s when he professes his love for you. “mark, fuck right there… please…” you were a moaning mess and naively begging for him to let you cum.

when you were about to reach your climax he quickly removed his finger and turned off the vibrator. you sat up and frustratingly glared at him.

“why did you stop?” you asked.

“sharing what i felt last night.” he said with a smug look. your brows met.

“you didn't… you know, last night?” but as far as you could remember he reached it too. he just smiled at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“are you satisfied with what we have now?” his voice became soft, him and his quick switching of mood.

oddly, your heart squeezed from his word, afraid that he isn’t satisfied. you were petrified that he’s growing weary of you. is it the sex? is it the presence? or is it mark that you enjoyed whatever you were sharing with each other, regardless of the reason, when he asked you if you were satisfied you suddenly felt scared of losing him. you were thinking ahead of time, once again. you always overanalyze or overthink things.

“why?” your throat became dry, and so you swallowed hard while staring at his eyes.

“because, i am not.”

it was as if you can hear a thud sound when your heart fell.

“wha… what?” you breathlessly mumbled without your prior notice. “what did i do? are you leaving me? i thought you liked me?” there’s another delay in transmission of a message between your brain and mouth that there are things that shouldn’t be told.

he chuckled and shook his head, you clearly like him back, and mark knows that but you always deny it which is extra harder for him to have you.

“what’s with that? where did you get the idea of me leaving you? do you not know how i like you, and you don’t have any idea of what i have become and will have become just for you.” mark was dead serious. while you were sleeping, he was already thinking about how to have you. if the problem is him being too friendly and well known, he swears that he can shut people down. if you want him to ignore people, he can. turn down an invitation, he can. all just for you.

he made sure that this day will not end unless you accept him and your feelings for him.

"then why does it sound like you're not satisfied of whatever we have right now?" your voice was shaking. you're starting to think that you're not good.

and why does it matter? this is what you want in the first place, to get rid of him or to distance yourself and look at you, afraid that you will lose him.

"because i am. i am not satisfied of what we have right now because we both know what we have. i like you, no, i always tell to you that i love you. i want us to have more than whatever we have.” and just like that, mark saw fear and denial in your face.

“no, we can’t.” you shook your head. same story, different personality and heaven and earth-like situation. he’s… to much, that’s what you always say to yourself.

“why?” mark still can’t understand you. “tell me why.”

“i already told you you’re different, you’re… you’re too much for me.” you’re almost choking and chest heaving.

“be more specific, i need to hear it from you. y/n-”

“if you’re just looking for a girlfriend, then you’re with the wrong person, mark.” you bit your lower lip as your lips began to quiver and fight back your tears from falling.

“i’m not looking for a girlfriend, i am looking for you. allow me to enter because i’m already greedy y/n.” mark reached for your hands and hold it.

everything became silent. you see nothing but sincerity in his eye and he’s squeezing your hands as if he has no intention of letting it go, as if anytime you’re going to slip away. mark already determined to not end this day, not making you speak out of your honest feelings.

“i…” you choked at your own saliva, you couldn’t speak properly. mark on the other hand waiting for you to continue and silently pushing you to speak. “i really admire you, mark and it scares me. you almost embodied the word perfection. i, on the other hand don’t have good grades, a wallflower, i bet that even though both of us are not in the classes they will only notice that you’re gone.” tears started to stream down in your face.

loneliness.

mark realizes that it wasn’t because he’s not just different that you dislike him at first, it’s because you want to be like him. you didn’t want to be alone, you want to have friends. you don’t hate noise, you want to be in the noise. you don’t hate attention, you want it. you want to be noticed that you exist. you didn’t say this but mark already understands where these things are coming from. on the other hand, you’re fully aware that you envy him and that you’re lonely but you refuse to accept it because it fucking hurts when every time you want to do the first move it’s was always ending awkward or you were still unnoticeable.

“they will notice, believe me. you don’t know how much they love to befriend you and want to get closer to you but they don’t know how to and we’re so sorry for not trying, i’m sorry that you feel so lonely.” mark words made you cry more. you were whimpering and pouring out the loneliness bottled up inside you. mark was also fighting his tears back and pulled you into his arms. he was kissing the top of your head and caressing your back.

it’s not mark that needs to change because regardless of him changing that doesn’t fix anything. mark sympathizes with you, holding it in for years. you hate being alone at the same time he felt bad for making you feel like this.

“i love you too, i’m so sorry.” you were wailing in embarrassment and sadness. but mark is smiling and happiness engulfed his heart that you finally admit it.

“ouch, why are you saying sorry?” mark pushed you gently to look at you. “goodness, your crying face is fucking sexy.” he joked. you playfully pushed his face away. “why? that’s true!” he was laughing and pulled your face and gave your lips a peck.

“you should be more vocal, people around you are not fortune tellers hmm? at least be more vocal to me, if you’re lonely, call me and tell me. hmm?” mark wiped your tears. “breakfast?”

you shook your head. “you didn’t finish me.” you pouted. mark laughed at you and kissed your cheek.

“you’re vocal now huh.” he chuckled and dove into your wetness.

things went dirty but it was genuine and honest. after sharing an intense orgasm, you took a bath together and mark wore his clothes and went back to their house. he wasn’t asked by his parent because they thought he just went out to jog but asked why he’s still home because they have classes but for the first time he lied that the class was canceled in the first subject. your mom was back and asked you the same thing, you told her the same alibi.

you went back to your room and caught your phone ringing which is on top of your side table. you checked the caller, it’s mark. you answered it.

“why?”

“let’s go to school together? okay?”

“fine.” you chuckled then he hangs up the call.

you heard a honk outside and received a text that mark is already outside.

“mom! i’m going to school!” you shouted and ran outside.

mark was hella looking fine crossed legs and leaning against his car. fuck this is the guy who likes me? did i save a country in my past life, i mean i deserve this if that’s the case.

“hi.” you greeted him. mark noticed that you put a little makeup but he doesn’t want to mention it, it may ruin your confidence, so instead…

“you always look lovely.” he kissed your lip.

you thought you will attend the next subject but…

“mark! oh my god!” your eyes rolled and your arms above your head and flatly on the headliner of the car as your body bounced harshly on mark’s dick. you squirted for the 2nd time in his pants and ruined his car. your jaw dropped and gasped for air and so was mark.

how can we go to classes? we’re both wet mark.” you were slightly annoyed.

you’re in the university’s parking lot but mark’s evil hand touched you everywhere and you’re weak in his touches.

“i have clothes at the back because i’m going to stay at my condo.” he said, still catching his breath.

“how about me? i am going to class… like this?” your hand gestured to show your state to mark.

mark jaw clenched, this sight is only for him and no one is allowed to see you like this but only him.

“who told you we’re going to attend school? we are going to my condominium.” he lifted you and put you on the passenger’s seat.

“mark, my pussy is tired.” you scoffed.

“and so is my dick.” he started the engine. “don’t worry i won’t touch you.”

“you always say that.” you rolled your eyes. he just laughed at you.

he didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend, because mark just wants you to be honest to him and to yourself.

i'm sorry for the late updates huhuhuhuhu 🙇‍♀️🙏🏻

✨if you want to be added in I’m Right For You Tag List, you can DM or Ask me so i can add you ✨

Tag List: @babylion-mork @lalaname @cloudykeiji @jjikyuu @sunshinedhyuck @wassup-haeyadwae @erisxczenie @mrklyy @resceluwu @jenotation @wanlore @watermelonlovermark

#mark lee angst #mark lee imagine #mark lee fanfic #mark lee smut #nct #mark lee nct #nct mark #nct dream smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #mark smut #nct mark smut

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years

Text

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 02 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.5K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (01)

Next part (03) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

Car Trouble

“Are you having car trouble?” Billy asks, his eyes locked on yours.

“Judging by the smoke, yeah.” You sigh, opening the door and stepping out of the car. You avoid eye contact, looking at the light gray smoke instead.

“Pop the hood, let me check.” Doing as he says, you press the button as you sit back on the driver's seat, hoping he can actually fix whatever is wrong just so you can make it home. “Bad news.” He says after a couple of minutes.” There's nothing I can do. Not here, at least.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent.” He lets the hood fall before coming to stand by the door. “Didn't it give any signs something was wrong?”

“It has been making this funny noise since I bought it. But that was a month ago, I didn't think it would actually stop working.” Taking a deep breath, you take your bag and get out, closing the door. “I'll call the mechanics when I get home. Thanks for checking it out.” You wave at him, walking away.

“I could give you a ride home if you want.”

“I'm alright. Don't want to be a bother.”

“I wouldn't offer you a ride if you were a bother. C'mon, I'm just trying to help a co-worker.”

You stop, turning to face Billy. He doesn't have to usual cocky expression he always has. And he's right. He's just offering a ride home because your car is broken, there's nothing more. Monica and those girls are just getting under your skin, making you think too much about something that doesn't deserve much thought. “Ok then.”

“Let's go.” Billy guides you to his Camaro and you get into the passenger seat. Seconds later you're spending up through the streets, and you buckle up because he's going a little too fast for your taste. You give him your address, not really paying attention to the route he's taking. Your eyes are on the landscape outside the window, passing by in a blur.

“Do you mind if I stop to get some tacos before dropping you off?”

“No.” Shrugging your shoulders, you run a hand through your hair as he parks in a small restaurant and gets out to buy his food. As you wait, you wonder if you should tell Monica about this. If you do, you probably won't hear the end of it. But it could also snap her out of this whole mission thing. Today she was silent again, overanalyzing Billy instead of watching the pools. At least she seems to be excited about something.

A whistle gets your attention, dragging you out of your thoughts. It's Billy at the restaurant's door, gesturing for you to go there. You're a little confused when you leave the car. Did he make the order and then realized he forgot his wallet or something?

“What's up?” You ask him, crossing your arms.

“Nothing. C'mon.” Billy guides you to a table on the back, where he sits. “I ordered you some tacos too.”

What the hell. “Do you even know if I have money with me? You should've asked.”

“But I didn't, did I?” He raises an eyebrow.

Taking a deep breath, you decide not to make a big deal out of it. “Whatever,” you mumble, sitting down across from him. It's so damn obvious he's staring now. He doesn't even try to hide it. Since you're here, you could try to put a stop to this nonsense. Sorry, Mon. Your mission will be over soon. “What are you looking at?” You ask, elbows on the table, finally meeting his gaze.

“You.” He simply says, and there's no hint he'll give further explanation.

You were just about to say something when the waitress comes with your tacos. They do look good, and you're a little hungry.

“I'll get something to drink. What do you want?”

“Ice cold Coca-Cola,” you answer, watching as he gets up. You don't wait for him to come back, you just start eating. The last time you ate tacos you were in elementary school.

“Here's your drink.” He places the can down and you open it, taking a sip. “So, new girl... How do you like this dipshit place?”

“I really like it. Hawkins is exactly what I was looking for.” Billy seems a little surprised, raising his eyebrows. “What? Did you think I was dragged here? I wanted to come.”

“Can't understand why anyone would want to live here.”

“I had my reasons.” Shrugging your shoulders, a loud laugh gets your attention. It's a girl you see often in the pool. She's friends with one of those girls from the locker... The girls who were talking about Billy. “Hey. Don't you have a date today? With that Jennifer girl?” It comes back to your mind, and you burst it out. “Let's go, I can take these and eat at home.” The last thing you want is Billy being mad because giving you a ride kept him from meeting some girl. So you get up, taking the plate and the can.

“Where are you going?”

“...Home? You're taking me home now so you won't be late to be with the girl.” Why do you have to state the obvious? You doubt he'd forget about a date.

“I am with a girl. Now sit down and relax.”

If this day gets any weirder, you're calling it a night and going back home immediately. “Fine. It's your night you're ruining.” You sit back down, defeated.

“Who said my night is ruined?”

“Billy...” Leaning forward, you look into his eyes. “Whatever you're trying here, it won't work.”

“I'm not trying anything.”

Alright. Time to end this game. “I'm not the kind of girl you hang out with, ok? Put your efforts on someone hot and beautiful, don't waste your time with me.” You take another bite of the taco on your plate.

“Wait. You don't think you're hot and beautiful?” He leans forward too, pushing his empty plate away, eyes on you.

He totally got the wrong part of what you said. “I'm... Ok. I'm cute but you can aim so much higher than me.” You're not blind, so you're not immune to Billy's effect. You have to admit you stole a few glances on your first days working on the pool, but knowing his reputation, you'd never let it go further than finding him handsome. “But they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so...” You're done with the tacos, and you drink what's left of your Coca-Cola.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes then.” Billy lowers his voice, the smirk leaving his lips as if this statement is the most important thing in the world, a fact on which the whole Earth stands.

You gasp, giggling a little. “So that's how you do it. That's what you say to get your girls.”

“No. I say very different things.” The smirk is back, and you look away for a moment. You really hope you're not blushing.

“We're both done eating. Can we go now?”

“I haven't finished my drink yet.” He gestures at is can. “You don't need to leave your guard up all the time. We're just... Two friends hanging out. No big deal.”

“So we're friends now?” He simply nods. “You don't even speak to me at work, how can we be friends?”

“I'll change that, don't worry. You don't seem to have many friends, anyway.”

“I do. Monica and her little crew.” It's actually mostly just Monica, but he doesn't have to know that. “They're nice.”

“Well, you can just add me to your list of new friends then.” Billy smiles at you, and now that you get to see it, from up close, it's so damn beautiful. There's a secret behind it, something he's hiding, and it looks like he knows you're aware of that. “What do you say?” He reaches out his hand over the table. “Try to get to know me instead of judging by what you heard.”

You hesitate for a while before shaking his hand. You won't fall for his game, so there's no problem befriending the guy. And you must admit it's a little mean to judge someone by what people say. You rather judge him by his actions. “Fine, Billy Hargrove. We can try to be friends. But that's it. Nothing else.”

“Good.”

You stay at the restaurant for another hour before he finally takes you home. Your aunt is organizing some papers, so she doesn't make many questions. She's just happy you were out with someone. And you don't really give much thought to what happened. You actually had some fun today, and since you're still struggling to fit in, you're in no position to refuse any friendship you can get.

And it was kind of Billy to offer you a ride home. You're so attached to everything you heard of him that you didn't even felt thankful for his help. If he was the asshole people say he is, he'd just leave you in the parking lot, or take you straight home. But he didn't. Billy even paid for the tacos. It's mean of you to judge the guy so harshly, before exchanging any words with him. He does sleep with a different girl every night, but they go out with him because they want to. They know he won't stick to them. But this is just something he enjoys, it doesn't mean he's a total jerk. Right? Jennifer and her friend seemed okay with a one night stand, so it's obvious he's not forcing them into it. They know it's a one-time thing.

So if you take this part away, you're left with a normal guy. So, if he's not trying to make you fall on his game, maybe his intentions aren't what you think they are. It's harmless to try and get to know him. Maybe he can become a good friend, who knows?

During the next day in the pool, you're still thinking about it. You don't really understand why you're feeling a little guilty for thinking so low of Billy. So, as you're walking back to your post and Billy is coming from his chair, to take his lunch break, you decided to talk to him.

“Billy, can I talk to you for a sec?” You say when you're close enough.

“Of course. C'mon.” He tilts his head, gesturing for you to with him back into the cafeteria. You were just going to say it right here, but since he's already walking, you just follow him. Monica gives you a meaningful stare once she notices you're following Billy. But you shake your head no, trying to tell her this is nothing.

“I'll be quick. I have to get back to my chair.” You say as he sits down on the table. “I just wanted to say thank you for yesterday. For the ride home and for the snack you bought me.”

“That's it?” He seems genuinely confused.

“Yeah...” You stand there awkwardly, watching as his lips break into a smile.

“What happened to your car?”

“It'll be ready in two days. Mon is giving me a ride until then.” Shrugging your shoulders, you start making your way out. “Well, that's it. I gotta go.”

“Keep doing the good job.” He winks at you, and you can't hold back the smile that comes to your lips.

“I will.” Turning your back at him, you go back to your chair.

•••

By the end of the day, you're sitting shotgun in Monica's car, the windows opens to let the fresh wind come in.

“I have great news.” She says, smiling.

“Let's hear it.”

“Jennifer was super mad today. Now guess why.” You exchange a glance as you think if you should tell her or not. But she's so excited about it, and Jennifer has always been mean to her... So you decide to just say it.

“Because my car wouldn't start, so Billy offered a ride home. And in the process, he stopped by this restaurant and bought me tacos.” She hits the breaks so suddenly that your heart skips a beat. “Holy shit, Monica! Are you trying to get us killed?”

“What did you just say, (Y/N)?” She's dead serious, looking at you. “Explain it. And don't hold back the details.”

She drives slower, just to give you more time. She forces you to remember everything he said, and everything you said, overanalyzing every single word. She doesn't seem too convinced that Billy just wants to be friends, going on about how he looks at you. With affection, admiration. But you don't really believe that.

“Just the fact that he was straight forward with wanting to be your friends is impressive. You gotta understand this is not usual of Billy.” She says as you walk into your house since you invited her to stay for dinner. “Believe me, I know. I wouldn't be talking about Billy with you if I wasn't utterly perplexed.”

“Who's Billy?" Your aunt asks, coming from the kitchen, an amused smile on her face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Florence," Monica says, matching your aunt's tone.

“Call me Diane, dear. And tell me about this Billy.”

“He's just a friend, aunt. He gave me a ride home yesterday.” You and Monica follow her into the kitchen, sitting on the table.

“Yesterday? You came home late yesterday.” She rests her back on the counter, looking at you. You feel like you were busted doing something wrong.

“He wanted to eat tacos so since I was with him, we just stopped by a small restaurant at the side of the road.” Shrugging your shoulders, you try to act casual. But why are you trying to act casual? It was a casual meeting.

“Did he pay?”

“Yes, but–”

“Then it was a date,” Diane states before turning around, her attention back to her current task.

You feel your cheeks burning as you exchange a glance with a smirking Monica. “It wasn't a date.” You have no idea how you could make this more clear than that. “If it was a date he would have kissed me goodnight.” You use the cliche every romance movie implements, trying to change their minds. “If that doesn't happen, it's not a date.”

“Well, say whatever you want. But tomorrow you'll be going out with me and the guys. No Billy.” Monica says, gesturing at you.

Whatever. You don't have to explain anything, and time will show them there's nothing between you and Billy. “Count me in,” you tell her, looking down at your hands for a moment. It will be good. No Billy, nobody talking about Billy for a change. It's your second week here, and it feels like it's all been about him from the start. You can't wait until people realize that everything that's ever gonna happens, if it happens, is just a friendship. Nothing more.

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