Hmmmm.... Sephiroth gets sent out on a LONG ass mission on a Tuesday by himself. (a segment of one of your asks)
The Wild Goose Chase Prank On Sephiroth
• Zack's most elaborate prank yet has Sephiroth as its victim. He has Kunsel hack into the mission roster's system and give Sephiroth a solo mission to the middle of nowhere in the western continent.
• It's summer, it's humid, and Sephiroth's assignment is to find an escaped creature from R&D labeled a "Triserpoco"
• Zack photoshopped an extra leg and a zolom head on a chocobo.
• Sephiroth takes the mission, seething with rage as he thinks about the poor creature having been subjected to Hojo's experimentation—it's the main reason Sephiroth doesn't question the mission. Knowing Hojo, a chocobo-zolom hybrid is something he would pull.
• He's flown out to a quiet little village near the coast, where the mission detailed that it had last been seen.
• The villagers are absolutely perplexed to see a Shinra helicopter touch down on their quaint village, and even more so when the Sephiroth appears. But nothing could've prepared the poor mayor for the "Triserpoco."
*Sephiroth holds up the clearly photoshopped picture*
Sephiroth: I'm looking for this creature.
Mayor:
Sephiroth: Don't laugh.
Mayor: I'm sorry.
Sephiroth: This is a serious matter. It's classified as a highly dangerous and invasive creature that could—sir please stop laughing, your village is in danger.
• After the mayor asks the other officials who confirm that there has never been a sighting of that creature in the village, Sephiroth takes matters into his own hands. He figures that since chocobos flock to grass lands and Zoloms to marshes, he'll have better luck on the outskirts of the village where there's nature.
• He asks a curious and starry-eyed group of kids near the town hall where he can locate the local chocobo-keeper, or perhaps the farmer. Once the kids finally finish asking him for his autograph and waxing poetic about how awesome he is, they point him in the right direction.
• He decides to try his luck and ask the kids if they've seen the Triserpoco, since children are naturally adventurous and would be the first to find some mythical creature when playing in nature.
Child #1: I never saw that in my life, Mister Sephiroth!
Child #2: Me neither! It looks fake. Are you sure that's not a photoshopped picture?
Sephiroth: No, children. This is a Triserpoco. It is a very real and very dangerous creature that I must catch before it harms the townspeople.
Child #3: Hmm I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.
Sephiroth: It does too.
Child #3: Does not.
Sephiroth: Does too.
Child #3: Does not.
Child #4: I know where it is! I saw it that creature by down the river!
Sephiroth: Ah, thank you.
*He turns to child #3, lowers himself to his eye level, and leans in to whisper in his ear*
Sephiroth: It does too.
• He finds the local chocobo-keeper at his farm—after traversing a field full of clingy chocobos who want to cuddle him.
Sephiroth: I'm looking for this creature. Have you seen it?
Farmer: Son that's photoshopped.
Sephiroth: I appreciate the concern, but this is Shinra's official image of the Triserpoco, a hybrid who escaped captivity and was last sighted in this village.
Farmer:
Sephiroth:
Farmer: Do you want us to contact Shinra and tell them that you're here?
Sephiroth: I assure you I'm of sane mind. I'm just trying to locate this creature and get it back to Midgar before it harms someone.
• The farmer tells Sephiroth he'll have better luck looking it in thing in the woods, since that's the best place something could hide.
• Sephiroth declined the farmer's wife's offer to join them for lunch, but accepts the borrowed chocobo for his journey.
• Sephiroth rides to the woods on the chocobo and begins his search for the Triserpoco. One hour in, he hears some ruffling in the trees and stops.
• Bandits. As if he didn't have enough to deal with.
• They try to ambush him unsuccessfully. Sephiroth manages to protect the chocobo and fight the group of men off, tying them to a nearby tree.
Bandit #1: Let us go! You defeated us already!
Sephiroth: Absolutely not. While I've got you, have you seen this creature?
*Sephiroth pulls out the Triserpoco picture and shows it to them*
Bandit #1:
Sephiroth: Well?
Bandit #2: Is this a joke?
Sephiroth: Do I look like a comedian to you?
Bandit #1: That's photoshop.
Sephiroth: It's a Triserpoco, a dangerous hybrid bred in captivity that went missing around this area.
Bandit #3: That's bad photoshop too.
Bandit #2: Dude are you high? Guys maybe he's lost or something.
Sephiroth: I am not inebriated nor am I insane.
Bandit #1: Are you sure Shinra sent you here to look for that?
Sephiroth: Yes. If you are able to provide information I might be inclined to let you go.
Bandit #2: My cousin photoshopped a picture of herself marrying Genesis Rhapsodos once and told everyone it was real.
Sephiroth:
Bandit #2: She's in jail now for setting her house on fire.
Sephiroth: What on earth does this story have to do with my question?
Bandit #2: She legally changed her name to Sephiroth when she was 18.
Sephiroth: I'm leaving.
• Sephiroth ventures further into the woods, stopping twice to pause, rest and consider retirement a total of 58 times. He keeps his eyes peeled for the creature, but even he's starting to doubt why Shinra would send him out here alone with no additional information about the sightings.
• He doesn't dwell too much on it though. Hojo's involvement and R&D's penchant for secrecy makes the mission sound normal.
• Sephiroth finally comes across a river and ascertains that it's the same river the enthusiastic three-year-old claimed to have seen the Triserpoco. He sees a old woman fishing by the river bank and decides to ask her for information.
*34 minutes later*
Sephiroth: Ma'am, for the last time. While I'm flattered, I have no interest in marrying your granddaughter. I'm sure she's lovely but—
Old Woman: You're gay.
Sephiroth: Excuse me?
Old Woman: That's perfectly fine! I have a nephew who's gay. Oh, I should've known. You look very gay, did you know that?
Sephiroth: I wish to speak to you about a creature that escaped Shinra's captivity a few weeks ago—
Old Woman: What about Genesis Rhapsodos? Do you think you could introduce him to my granddaughter?
Sephiroth: Ma'am if I look gay, he looks like he's been inhaling the rainbow since birth.
Old Woman:
*Sephiroth pulls out the picture*
Sephiroth: Have you seen the Triserpoco?
Old Woman: Oh, I know what that is. The kids these days call it photoshop.
Sephiroth, through clenched teeth: It's not an edited image. It's a real creature. Have you seen it or not?
Old Woman: You'll have better luck looking for that thing in the mountains.
Sephiroth: Why the mountains?
Old Woman: Have you checked the mountains?
Sephiroth: No.
Old Woman: There you go.
• Sephiroth thanks her and leaves for the mountains. On his way there, he stumbles across a path near the lake that leads to some wet lands. He figures he should try his luck there before going up the mountain.
• There he finds a group of teenagers hunting and decides to avoid them entirely and instead try his luck with the man collecting crabs in the marsh.
Sephiroth: Hello. I'm looking for this creature, the Triserpoco. Have you seen it, perhaps?
*Sephiroth holds up the image*
Man: That's photoshop.
Sephiroth: It's a Triserpoco.
Man: That doesn't exist.
Sephiroth: It's a hybrid bred in captivity. Only one of its kind exists.
Man: I think someone's playing a joke on you, boy. That looks like something straight out of a horror movie.
Sephiroth: So you have not seen the Triserpoco?
Man: No one in the world has seen the Tripsipico.
Sephiroth: Do you have any idea where I could find more information about the Triserpoco?
Man: You could try a psychiatrist.
Sephiroth:
Man: Have you spoken to that group of teenagers over there?
Sephiroth: No.
Man: Do you intend to?
Sephiroth: Please don't make me.
Man: .....?
Sephiroth: Fine. I'll talk to them. Thank you for your time and help.
• Sephiroth turns around and begrudgingly makes his way towards the group of noisy teens. Just as he had feared, one of them is wearing a Silver Elite T-shirt. After the initial fanfare, groveling and autographs, Sephiroth calms them down enough.
*He shows them the picture*
Teen #1: What is that, satan??
Sephiroth: IT'S A TRISERPOCO.
Teen #2: That looks like bad—
Sephiroth: I KNOW I KNOW BAD PHOTOSHOP.
Teen #3: Uh..Are you oka—
Sephiroth: I'M FINE.
Teen #4: Really? Because you look—
Sephiroth: GAY, YES, WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT.
• For the first time in his life Sephiroth manages to scare away a group of people without needing to take his sword out. He sighs, turns around, and begins his trek up the mountain. He wonders wether those therapy vouchers Angeal gave him for his birthday are still valid.
• He decides that if the Triserpoco isn't anywhere on the mountain, he'll declare this as a mission failed and go home. It's a foreign concept to him. He hasn't failed a mission since he was a child.
• Back at the headquarters, Zack can't sit still and finish his overdue mission reports. He keeps giggling and thinking of the wild goose chase he sent Sephiroth on. This distracts Genesis, who's on the SOLDIER lounge trying to read.
Genesis: What's so funny?
Zack: I'm playing a prank on Sephiroth. I had the mission roster send him out to the western continent to look for a monster that doesn't exist.
Genesis: That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of that?
*Angeal walks in*
Angeal: Has anyone seen Sephiroth? Director Lazard's sent for him but no one can find him.
Zack: He's out on a mission looking for the Triserpoco.
Angeal: The what?
*Zack holds up an image of the photoshopped creature, unable to contain his laugh*
Genesis: That's what you sent Sephiroth on a wild goose chase for?? That photoshop is horrendous! He's never going to buy that!
Zack: He already did! He left on his mission nine hours ago. He should be back any moment now empty handed.
Angeal: He's going to murder you. He's going to shove your head in an oven and make you suffocate on the fumes from your hair gel.
Zack: No he's not! Sephiroth will think it's hilarious. He hasn't failed a mission since he was a runt. This is refreshing for him!
*And then the elevator doors open. Sephiroth steps out, looking exhausted as he pulls a Three-Legged-Chocobo-Zolom hybrid on a leash*
Sephiroth: Good evening, gentlemen.
Zack:
Sephiroth: I found the Triserpoco.
Zack:
Sephiroth: It's appalling what atrocities Hojo uses R&D's resources for.
Zack:
Sephiroth: Anyway, I must take it back up to the labs.
Zack: But this is impossible...The Triserpoco doesn't exist....It's photoshop....
*Sephiroth turns to Angeal and hands the leash to him*
Sephiroth: Hold this for me.
*Sephiroth unsheathes The Masamune*
Sephiroth: COME HERE.
Zack: WAIT WAIT I'M SORRY I'M SORRY OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW ANGEAL HELP.
*Zack runs away as Sephiroth chases him, hurling balls of firaga at his feet*
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KWODKSOW HELLO I found you on Ao3!! If you don't mind I have a request :) Can I have Cloud with Y/n who's helping him with his motion sickness? Like maybe he feels really insecure about it for mutiple reasons and they have a trip coming up and y/n is super sweet and tells him he's still strong/amazing and they do everything they can to make the travel comfortable for him until they arrive at their destination? Y/n making sure no one else says anything about Cloud either makes me heart go doki ❤
This is so sweet😭
Thank u for the request sweetie, hope u enjoy it and I'm sorry for the wait😭🫶🫶
Long trips ミ★
⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Cloud/fem!Reader
⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluff, cuddles and just sweet sweet stuff :) not proofread!
⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ I want to hold him I want to hold him I want t-
⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 774
"Alright, let's hop on"
Barret's shout ringed through everyone's ears. Tifa, who was right next to you, grabbed your forearm as she guided you to the front seats.
Of course, the farm truck of a kind man who offered all of you a ride, was packed with chocobos. And you wouldn't have cared if Cloud was with you, far away from those hyperactive big chicks.
You knew he struggled with motion sickness, he had told you that he didn't enjoy long trips. And you knew this wasn't going to be the shortest one.
So you felt guilty
You should've at least lent him your seat next to the girls, but you got too carried away. And looking at his stoic but rather uncomfortable face by the window behind you, made your gut clench.
"Hey, where are you going?"
As your hand opened the warm window, you turned around to face the confused frown of the brunnette.
"I'll be right back don't worry about me!"
. . .
"Y/n?"
His eyes found your big grin as you sat next to him, your butt touching the coarse hay bellow you.
You tried to keep some distance between the both of you, not wanting to make this more uncomfortable than it was. But it sort of was a difficult task by the way you were all enveloped by two big birds.
"Are you feeling alright?"
His face was a replica of the frown you had seen on Aerith's one, and he asked himself if it was so obvious that his brain was spinning harshly inside his head.
But he nodded his head, ignoring the horrible feeling down his stomach.
A few minutes passed by and you noticed that his hand was holding his head, eyes closed as he tried not to focus on the dizziness.
A bump made your shoulder bump with his own one, coming to rest close to him. You enjoyed the warmth he seemed to radiate, that's why you always kept close to him on cold days.
What he didn't expect was your palm being softly placed where his hand rubbed his temple. And before he had time to open his eyes, your hand guided him to your right shoulder.
His eyes shoot open, but his body slumped over yours.
Unconciously drowning further into your lulling mute voice.
Soon, he was fast asleep over your shoulder, the afternoon rays of dying sun washing all over his face. He looked too cute to be real.
And you had finally seen him calm, not a sign of stress or worry on his cold facade. He was just laying there, his hand holding yours as you fidgeted with his fingers.
"Look"
It came out as a whispered snicker, followed by two warm smiles as they looked at the scene.
"They are so cute"
"I know right? Such a shame they are too dumb to notice"
The black-haired girl then looked at her green orbs, seeing the well-known comforting and loving gaze she had seen before as she talked about her lover.
"She's safe with him, he always tries to protect her from anything"
She nodded her head in approval, listening closely to what her braided friend was saying.
"It's almost as if they were made for each other"
He had calloused and dry hands, he didn't have time to spend on taking care of himself since there was a bigger problem out there.
Your right fingers inspected his hand, taking him with both of your hands as you smiled like a dork. You looked around for a few seconds and you saw that Barret and Red XIII were snoring too, next to the Chocobos that had eventually laid down to rest too.
The scene was so serene, the passing mountains in front of you and the warm breath that often trickled your skin.
How would it feel to be cuddled by him?
Maybe he would sneak a hand over your stomach as he spooned you, keeping you close to his chest as you both drifted off to sleep.
Maybe he was the one who liked being spooned, his hair brushing your neck as he held your forearm.
He would crush you down on the bed as he laid on top of you, and you wouldn't mind since it was Cloud who was fast asleep on top of you.
Or maybe he would like to hold you, keeping an arm over your thigh as your leg rested on top of his waist, wrapping your arms around his neck while his other hand secured your back into him.
Who knows...
"Such strong arms"
Your whispered praise fell all over the chilly afternoon air, and you didn't care since everyone was visibly asleep. Your hand traced patterns over his unclothed arm, admiring the hard work he had done over the years.
"And such amazing skills"
Your mouth kept ranting all the things you had kept to yourself, weary eyes open as you shuffled closer to him.
"Woah there"
You chuckled lowly as your hand kept his forehead from falling off your shoulder, oh how you wish you could've stayed there for just some few more hours.
"You're not only handsome but you're smart too. So oblivious you don't even notice all the people who look at you"
Your hand fell until it wrapped itself around his own one once again.
"I wish I could tell you all this stuff to your face for once"
A sigh fell from your lips and as you slowly closed your eyes again, something interrupted your well-deserved rest.
"Did you mean all of that?"
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