#contrary to popular belief there are a lot of ways to be a lesbian actually

[findafight]

The "Robin would never date Steve's ex who broke his heart" take is FUCKING stupid for a lot of reasons.

First of off, the autonomy you're taking out of Robin with this.

Like she's not Steve's sidekick, she's not his yes man, she's an indepent girl who should be free to date any girl she wants.

She would never let her friendship with him ostacolate her love life.

Why the fuck she should do that?!

No one would.

And also, Steve is actually the one who hurt Nancy the most (slut Nancy Wheeler).

And if you think for a second that Robin would ever take Steve's side, then you're wrong.

Just stop centering everything around Steve, and stop reducing Robin to be just his sidekick, 'cause she's FUCKING not.

Hi! So. Pretty sure you found the most recent post I made (on April 6th) tagged anti rnce (and ONLY anti rnce. Not even stranger things. Just anti rnce and my personal original text post tag and a quip about choosing violence. So clearly if that’s how you got here you chose to not just send a post you disagreed with to your friends to rant about but came into my inbox and tried to start shit)And if you didn’t I truly don’t get how you, clearly a rnce fan, found me.

I’m going to be honest. Neither of us are going to change each other’s minds. I don’t like rnce for a lot of reasons, from i just don’t see a romantic spark there to a lot of the shippers being kinda shitty. I don’t care what you ship, really, just that. Claiming it’s canon or should be canon endgame etc gets annoying. And that a lot of the times the way I’ve seen the relationship portrayed (because, contrary to possibly popular belief, I have actually tried to read some fics for them. It’s also such a commonly untagged side or background pairing that I am subjected to it like that often as well) there’s so often weird terf or radfem red flags and alarm bells going off. I’ve seen someone harassed by rnce shippers for calling them out and then those shippers loudly regurgitating terf talking points like it’s fucking funny. I know all fandoms and ships have bad eggs but holy shit.

There’s been a few posts about how for some reason rnce fans try to portray people who don’t like it as making Robin Steve’s sidekick, when really we are acknowledging the facets of her characterization other than her lesbianism. Just because she likes girls doesn’t mean that’s the only thing that matters to her!

Yes, Robin liking girls is part of who she is, it influences how she acts and what she talks about, but it’s not the ONLY thing about her. She likes old movies, she enjoys pop and new wave music, she does her make up in her best friend’s car, she forgot to mention she never learned to drive because he forgot to ask if she could, she thinks combining into a super being with said best friend would possibly solve most of their problems.

Robin is a character who makes her own choices! She chooses to butt in at scoops, chooses to stay with Steve in the bunker to hold off the Russians, chooses to tell him her deepest secret, chooses to apply for jobs with Steve once they heal from the mall, chooses to spend a lot of time with him! And that’s rad. It gives us insight on who she is!

Whenever I’ve written or talked about Robin choosing not to date Nancy, I’ve always made it perfectly clear that it is Robin’s choice. Because given what we see of her in two seasons, Robin is loyal, and greatly values her friendship with Steve. Like. Regardless of how Steve feels about it, and I do think of Robin was legitimately interested in Nancy and Steve thought she had a chance, he’d encourage her to go for it. (Steve isn’t blindly encouraging Robin to hit on Vickie. He has high suspicions that Vickie is queer in some way too! She likes boobies!) I think Robin would think twice about it just because how much she encouraged stancy to get back together in s4.

Honestly, it makes me sad seeing how many times “why would robin choose her best friend’s feelings over getting a gf” is said because like. I value my friends’ feelings all the time. If I thought something I was doing was or would hurt them, I would reevaluate. Why WOULDNT Robin consider her best friend’s feelings? The first person she ever came out to? Who made her feel safe and accepted? Who made her laugh when she felt most vulnerable? Who she encouraged to get back with his ex? Romance is not a level up from friendship, it is not the endgame of life, it is not superior to any other relationship type. Treating friendships as less important to romance is something to reconsider and reevaluate.

Your last point. Anon, who is centring Steve now? Sure. He fucked up in s1. Literally no one denies that. He fucked up and he worked to make things right. He cleaned up the graffiti, he went to apologize to Jonathan, and he presumably apologized to Nancy, because she decided to date him for eleven months after that. I highly doubt there wasn’t heavy gossip about the graffiti or their breakup/makeup. I do agree that before Tina’s party Steve wasn’t helping Nancy as much as he could have, but Nancy wasn’t communicating to him either. They weren’t in the right place for each other. If we consider the alley the breakup, how is that not still breaking his heart? Yes Nancy was on a noble crusade, but it still had collateral damage. It’s something interesting about her character!

Robin wouldn’t be on board with the graffiti. But like. Steve’s changed and apologized since then. And She wasn’t there? She’s just here for the aftermath of Steve’s reignited feelings for Nancy. Idk. Both Steve and Nancy hurt each other in s1/2. It’s not a Steve v Nancy thing? It’s just an acknowledgment that of the two, Robin is closer to Steve. She’s more likely to consider him. She’s not omniscient to everything that happened or the persons feelings and reasons for doing it.

I’m sorry you don’t think friendship has an equal or greater value than some romantic relationship, it must suck. I also hope you find better things to do than to come to someone’s inbox and try to start something over a ship you like that they don’t.

#anti ronance #I censored it in my answer but anon didn’t so it might show up in the search #but not in the tag #findaanswers #listen. just get out of here #if you think I’m a stupid idiot then block and move on #but you clearly came here from somewhere looking at stuff to be mad at because I always make sure to tag #also everyone ignores that Steve has CURRENT FEELINGS for Nancy that ROBIN ENCOURAGED

[genericpuff]

Hello, I am a huge fan of your work and I’ve been following you for a while! I am a gay Greek student at the History & Mythology department from Aristotle University. I had to do a lot of research and homework regarding certain subjects and one of them was Κρόκος (Krokos/Crocus). Crocus was in fact in love with a nymph named Smilax, but was never, in any valid story, involved with Hermes romantically. Contrary to popular belief, homosexuality was something that was condemned in the majority of most city-states of ancient Greece, especially Athens. In fact, they even had the derogatory term for gay people “kinaidos” (κίναιδος) and they were banned from participating in politics, banned from the Olympics, banned from participating in the war, banned from being priests and in worse cases, they were sentenced to death. :( “Αν τις Αθηναίος εταιρήση, με έξεστω αυτω των εννέα αρχόντων γενέσθαι, μηδέ ιερωσύνην ιερώσασθαι, μηδέ συνδικήσαι τω δήμω, μηδέ αρχήν αρχέτω μηδεμιάν, μήτε ενδημον, μήτε υπερόριον, μήτε κληρωτήν, μήτε χειροτονητήν, μηδέ επικυρήκειαν αποστελλέσθω, μηδέ γνώμην λεγέτω, μηδέ εις τα δημοτελή ιερά εισίτω, μηδέ εν ταις κοιναίς σταφονοφορίες σταφανούσθω, μηδέ εντός των της αγοράς περιρραντηριων πορευέσθω.

Εάν δε ταύτα τις ποιή,καταγνωσθέντως αυτού εταιρείν, θανάτω ζημιούσθω.” Translation: “If an Athenean performs this, he will not be allowed to become member of the 9 lords, he will not be able to become a priest, he will not be able to become an advocate of the people, he will have no authority inside or outside of Athens, he cannot become a war preacher, he will not be able to express his opinion, he will not be allowed to enter the sacred public temples, he will not be able to take walks happening in Agora. If he ignores any of these laws he will be sentenced to death.” - Solon Laws in book 5, chapter 5

Also, the term “Pederastry” actually meant “Mentoship” and it had nothing to do with sexual relationship between a male teacher and a male student. Many of the homosexual depictions regarding historical and mythological figures are created in modern times without any evidence to back it up. For instance, Achilles and Patroclus are often assumed to be lovers in modern media when in all actuality they were just cousins. Patroclus’ father Μενοίτιος (Menoetius) and Achilles’ father Πηλέας (Peleus) were brothers.

Alexander the Great was never in a relationship with his best friend Hephaestion as there’s no evidence to back it up besides him telling him his secrets and mourning his death.

The only historical figure that could be a legit bisexual was Sappho from the island Lesbos (which is why Greece now calls the island “Mytelene” to avoid any association with lesbians, despite it being the name of one of the cities there). She was accused of being a promiscuous woman who was sleeping with many men and that she was a woman-lover due to her poems, but this is still up to debate to this day.

The worst of all is that most pictures involving homosexual activity used as evidence to prove queerness have been modern remakes of an ancient artifacts depicting heterosexuality (or even the rape of women). Eros Kalos is responsible for many of these “queer copies”.

This deeply saddens me as I am a homosexual myself, but I don’t think Ancient Greece deserves credit for being “open-minded” on the subject knowing that they would treat me badly if I was born in my country in that era. I don’t feel comfortable with people trying to prove that it was gay when that’s not true at all. Anyway, I am very happy that artists like you exist and make their own fictional versions of the characters in ways that feel comfortable for us to look at. Stay amazing. <3

Wow, this was a super interesting read !!! Thanks for all the helpful info :3 It's sometimes difficult to discern what "love" between gods and mortals means in the translated texts, as sometimes it can mean romantic/sexual love, and other times it just means godly love, i.e. mortals who were "chosen" by gods to be their patrons (so just having a very strong spiritual connection in the same way the Christian God "loves his children") and I feel like sometimes those two things become conflated a lot in discussion around those stories, but that's why it's always important to listen to other interpretations and translations to try and get the most accurate recounting possible.

Mind you, I am not Greek so take ALL of my opinions on this topic with OLYMPUS-SIZED-MOUNTAINS OF SALT LOL

I actually had no idea about the Alexander the Great x Hephaestion thing, and upon searching it up, it brought up articles about a Netflix production? Would I be wrong in assuming that's what motivated you to clarify on that ? 😆 (or is it just a common sentiment these days? genuinely asking haha I'm not so sharp on my Alexander the Great lore these days 😔🤡)

I absolutely agree that Greece itself isn't exactly a pillar of LGBTQ+ representation or rights (it is, after all, predominantly Orthodox Christian and they just legalized gay marriage in this, the year of our suffering 2024) and it's important not to put on blinders or use our connection to the gods and myths to erase what's going on historically. It's certainly not a magical imperfect wonderland - no culture or country is - and the more people are aware of that, the more they can become aware of ongoing issues and fight for things like equal rights (as they should!) so they can move towards positive change.

I think there's definitely lots to be said about the fandomification of Greek myth as well, where a lot of people take fun in the cute / funny / easy-to-headcanon parts of the myths without recognizing where they come from, why they were written, and who they were written for. It's easy to be a non-Greek person consuming and engaging with all the fun parts of the myths, because we get the privilege of being outsiders looking in who can interpret the myths in our own way free of consequences or the reality of the culture these myths are from. And I say that as someone who's not Greek and absolutely falls into that camp! Some of us use that privilege responsibly, others... not so much. And again, that's something that can happen with any culture (though I can definitely name a handful that have become notorious for how fandomified they've become through pop culture cough Japan cough Korea cough Canada, yes I fucking said Canada-)

That said, as with any culture that becomes more popularized with people outside of it, as much as that can lead to harm and misrepresentation in many ways, it can also lead to a lot of joy and appreciation. I'm glad that so many people have found themselves in the myths and find their hope through them and reclaim their power through them even if they've had a messy history. I see this sort of reclamation thriving in Christian mythology as well, through those who want to reclaim the beauty of many of its stories and messages and express the joy and love and compassion in them, rather than using them for hate and discrimination as they're so commonly and systematically used. In that way I think you can easily have adaptions that aren't historically accurate, but are more reflective of the culture and hopes and dreams of the people who are retelling them in the modern day. I think it's important to keep both in mind.

IMO it's one of those "if we don't find joy in it and use it to spread love to others, that means the bigots get to use it for harm" type things, if that makes sense :'0 But that doesn't mean we should pretend like history never happened, because in doing so, we're doomed to repeat it. We should always do our best to respect where these stories came from, and do more to learn about them when we get the opportunity to do so, because not doing so is how we end up with adaptions and "retellings" that are so far removed from the source material - but still ingrain themselves so seriously without a shred of transparency - that they almost become erasure in and of themselves. As I say a lot here, balance is key, and we should always be making efforts to learn ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

#idk if any of this was actually worded well it's like 3 AM here lmao #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

So I didn't want to involve the people on this post in my shenanigans. Mostly because I don't want to see a dogpile, or because I don't want to deal with the ignorance that will come from the responses.

So this showed up on my dash

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And honestly I don't think they understand what's really going on. There are a lot of people living in a bubble and it kind of annoys me a bit.

People are not pissed that LGBT people exist. Contrary to popular belief. Nor are they mad that LGBT products exist. What they are mad about is that June has become, "Worship the LGBT or else" month. And while many don't think that's true, it very much is.

I've seen pride parade over the last 6+ years with HEAVY kink involvement IN PUBLIC in full view of kids. Also in full view of people who really don't want to see it. People who can't close their businesses. People who have appointments to keep at offices. Dick shaped lollipops. Near full nudity. What used to be SUPPOSEDLY a celebration of love is now a degenerate (and that's coming from me) fetish fest. More over, if you don't brandish your cult symbol, people get mad at you. And now a days threaten to destroy your livelihood.

(And before you continue reading. THIS MAY well ruffle some feathers. And while you may not agree with my sentiment, this post is not hateful. It's observations and ideas based on people I've talked to both in and out of the LGBT, things I've experienced in my own life, and stuff I've read up on over the years. And while I'm not as articulate as a used to be, it's written not in anger, but with the intention of explaining all of my thoughts. And while they may not get across the way I want, I mean no hate by them.)

Pride hasn't been about love in years. It's been about how degenerate and fetishy can we get in public until they start putting us in jail. Except we can't even do that anymore because protected classes get an absolute pass to break the laws now. And you might not see that but everyone else does.

What's more, what LGBT means now isn't what it used to mean. It's some weird amalgamation taking every sex based thing and non sex based thing and shoving it all under the same umbrella. Hell, most modern trans activists want to get rid of gay people. And no that's not some joke or conspiracy.

Consider this. A lot of modern "LGBT" people claim that gender is a social construct right? Ok and now they are trying to say there is no difference between men and women. In the biological sense. Now you have, "Lady dicks and man pussys" and what not. Except it's not a joke. And I'm not joking. I've been seeing a hard push from trans activists in the modern day, to claim that biological sex does not matter (to the point they want to be able to change their birth certificates), and that if you are a Female dating a male, so long as they SAY they are a woman you are still somehow a lesbian.

THEN you have the now famous Tim Pool clip where the guy from The Serfs claims that if a woman sleeps with an effeminate man, she's actually a lesbian. Or vice versa, if a man dates a non feminine woman, he's actually gay. I don't think most of you realize right now but modern activists are hell bent on erasing gay people. Gay in it's ACTUAL meaning. Which is sexual attraction to the same SEX. Not the same gender. Which both were interchangeable for years. Now it's a clusterfuck of what ever either side wants it to mean. And that's devastating for society. It's devastating for communication between people. And it's devastating for relationships.

Things are breaking down at the seams. People who have been gay their entire lives now have to contend with being called bigots by self righteous, narcissistic, young, dumb people trying to tell them THEY are the bigots. When arguably they had it much harder in society. Hell the middle east STILL gives you 2 options if you are gay. Transition so you are not a monster, or die. Because at least if you appear like the opposite sex you can't participate in your debauchery. That's how they view it. And activists in the west are doing the exact same in their own way. It's pretty fucking scary.

But to the original point. It's not just about Trans this, Gay that, Lesbian this, or anything. People are just tired of the celebrations. Because it's moved way past that into glorification. To a point that among the people that support it, they are deifying it. That's not exaggeration. You are now considered boring if you are straight. You are considered an evil racist monster if you are "cis". And don't get me started on the rant that is talking about that term. Kids are now being indoctrinated into being something other than straight and their own sex/gender. Because according to this hell site and others like it, "Straight people are so boring and stupid and violent and and and and and~" Fuck you.

You don't get to shit on straight people with impunity and then get upset when they say enough. You don't get to tell people that "every day is straight pride day" meanwhile smearing your privates in their faces for a full month. No criticism. No conversation. Just mindless worship. And don't tell me that's not what it is. That is fully what it is.

And before anyone decides to come at me telling me I'm transphobic or homophobic, Plenty of LGBT people agree with me. Some even have more extreme views on all of this than I do. Mine seems to be the very mild view on all of this considering.

But we don't need a pride month anymore in the US. The initial movement was about not just getting the right to marry, but being able to be seen as human just like everyone else.

Well guess what? It has not been like that since 2012. Now it's about, "Call me my pronouns or I'll cut your head off" and "If you don't celebrate pride then your a bigot, a monster, and a nazi", or, "I can't believe this old woman called me young lady, WTF, I'm clearly a man" or my personal favorite, "Kink needs to be in front of kids so they can grow up and understand good sex". Yeah. I've actually heard every one of these IN PERSON and wanted to call the cops on the last one. And fringe or not, these ARE the views being pushed to the forefront.

And more than that even. A school quite literally said, "Memorial day weekend? What's that? Pride month though. Let's dress all these kids in pride stuff and parade them around to prove how virtuous we are."

Yes this DID actually happen. A school opted to not recognize or celebrate our fallen, and instead opted into worship. Modern pride is a cult. I'm not sorry for saying it. Most of you pushed to see how far until it was too far. And now you WILL see people walk back acceptance of the LGBT as a whole. You waved your crotches in their faces for long enough and they've had it.

And that makes me pretty upset honestly. Because my LGBT friends may likely have to suffer through widespread discrimination again because you didn't understand how far is too far. And then when you were told how far too far was, you opted to take it further than that.

Now let me cool the pot as it were. I'm not putting this on the LGBT people who've been nothing but good people, who just have been trying to live and enjoy their lives. And I don't want to see an overreaction to all of this. But the issue is not enough people smacked these activist types down. Their fringe views were allowed to flourish and be the dominate idea. And now we have people boycotting LGBT stuff aimed at kids, and parents are pissed. Kids are already confused enough growing up. Hormones, School, Friends, Parents, figuring out life, etc. It's a confusing time in their lives and they frankly don't need more stuff to be confused about. More over, they don't need to be focused on sexuality (which again is a concept based on SEX based attraction) at 10 y/o. Will they figure that stuff out? Yes. Do they need a LGBT teacher teaching them how to be gay? No.

Do they need books teaching them how to get on gay dating apps at 14 for anonymous hookups with gay men? ALSO no. Do they need to learn how to use butt-plugs at 13-14? FUCK no. Do they need to be taught in gay books how to give head to other boys? NO! THEY DON'T! Do they need drag queens, wearing thongs and a miniskirt twerking in their faces at 6? *cocks shotty*. And before I get the onslaught of, "That's not happening", yes it is. There's proof of it all over the US. Happening in more and more frequency. Including librarians suggesting books featuring explicit content to very young teens.

The final straw was kids. And when you told parents they were not allowed to defend their kids, parents said, "Excuse the fuck out of me". And now here we are. In a country were if you are LGBT and you rape someone, it's perfectly fine. And calling it out is actually bad. If you call out biological men, claiming to be trans so they they can rape women in prison an issue, THAT'S somehow calling all trans people rapist? If you point out that a gay man or a trans woman is grooming kids and or has sexually assaulted them, that SOMEHOW all gay men and trans women are predators?

No one said that. YOU said that. And your fighting tooth and nail to defend people who do those things, is a problem. And it's why people are fed up.

This is not and has never been about anti-LGBT sentiment. But it will become that if people who've done this stuff continue to be shielded. It will become that if normies get even more fed up with the cult like worship once a year of Pride. I don't want to see it become that. It will however, if things don't come down from a boil. Leave kids alone, call out groomers and predators, and stop featuring kink and fetish at pride parades. Put on a rainbow shirt hold hands with your S/O Hold up a sign saying "Love" and that's it. It's super simple. And for the love of all that is holy, stop shaming straight people. Because if you don't they WILL come to resent you. More than some already do.

And just to wrap things up. I don't want to see things get worse for LGBT people. What I do want to see is certain LGBT people stop acting like being LGBT is their entire personality. Because it's not just grating to me. It's grating to other LGBT people. And worst of all it's grating to normies. And they are the people you need to be worried about.

#discourse

[trans-wojak]

I just wanted to say I saw your response to the ask about Nex and I wanted to say that the way you explained your stance is very well thought out…

I hold the same beliefs as you, and I would like to not be on Anon but I fear if my friends found I hold these beliefs that they would call me transphobic and hate me (it is a kinda complicated situation…)

I just want to say I admire your bravery to speak your thoughts and opinions so openly and seemingly without fear of being rejected because of them. I hope one day to be able to have the confidence to speak my thoughts on subjects without fearing to be criticized.

-A shy anon 🪼

I have been criticised a lot for my stance because it creates conflict and many people just dislike conflict in general, which I understand. I just avoid trans spaces online and irl these cause they are predominantly filled with trenders and “non binary”. I prefer LGBT mixed spaces cause atleast those are not just a group made up of women who ID as non binary. Since it’s LGBT and not “trans”, there is less room for radical feminist man hating bullshit cause gay men will tell them to stfu.

Non binary in my experience and research is really just radical feminism lite, it reminds me of “political lesbians” who were straight femcels out of choice. All core beliefs of non binary activism heavily align with radical feminist theory more than it does with anything about trans rights. Contrary to popular belief, many radical feminists believe that medical transition is fine aslong as you retain that you’re a masculinised female or feminised male and don’t assert you are changing your sex or try to be in any of your group’s gendered spaces. Though, this treatment is mainly only directed at trans women - they rarely care about trans men sharing spaces with cis men cause they see it as “rebellious against the evil patriarchy” and benefiting.

This is why most “detrans” TERFs you find will have identified as non binary but then switched, usually after trying testosterone and ACTUALLY getting dysphoria. If you go to non binary subreddits, there’s countless posts about being scared to start T cause “I don’t want *insert literal male sexual characteristic*” or even worse “I don’t want to be perceived as a cis male”. The comments are filled with encouragement to start T anyway, saying you can microdose to control effects (a lie, it just makes it slower), suggesting taking certain hormone blockers to literally block male sexual characteristics but get very minimal ones that could be achieved through diet, exercise and voice training. Or worse, suggestions that laser hair removal isn’t even hard or expensive, it’ll work blah blah.

These retards then go on T, get side effects that cause actual dysphoria and then go full blown radical feminist.

At this point? I think anyone who identifies as non binary should be banned from transitioning medically. I don’t think you should qualify for a gender dysphoria diagnosis unless you want to be the opposite sex; not some magical androgynous being to get out of misogyny in society.

Though I do keep my beliefs to myself in many situations to avoid conflict but I also play heavily on my autism as an excuse for things, if the government and society wanna deem me as retarded then I’ll play into it. So, no I struggle with singular they cause I’m autistic. Honestly, I actually do struggle with singular they especially if they look entirely as their birth sex. I just don’t bother putting in effort cause I don’t care about how they feel. The worst woman I ever encountered who got mad at me for this was self diagnosed autistic, had a fucking child and was raising him “as non binary” so she got mad if you used he/him. I’m all for not raising kids with no gender roles or stereotypes but doing that is gonna fuck up the kid.

I also know a woman who started T cause she thinks she’s non binary and immediately stopped cause of body hair growing. Now she complains about her slightly deeper voice and says she wants to get pregnant again but worries that T hurt her. Oh she still retains she’s non binary tho, just that she likes living as a female “cause its way more comfortable” - yeah cause you’re a cis woman!

Anyway sorry for the rant, I’m glad that my opinions aren’t all seen as me being uwu disrespectful and mean cause my intent isn’t to be “mean” it’s to use critical thinking. If you want, you can privately DM me to discuss more on this so you don’t feel so alone in your convictions. It’s one of the reasons I have stopped showing my face online publicly cause trenders tried to doxx me, dangerous at times to not believe in non binary.

#thanks nonnie #thanks for the ask!

[autisticlee]

i've noticed that there's always a lot of discourse about trying on labels like for sexuality and gender for example. people saying if you dont know, don't claim am identity. people complaining about people using labels lying and being fakes. complaining when someone changes their lable/identity.

you even see it in conservatives who whine and cry about gender and sexuality saying stuff like "you can't know that yet/you're too young/what if it changes/you can't just decide now and change later" and seeing queer people say the same things can be super discouraging and alienating.

because the thing is, humans do change. It's a natural phenomenon we can't do anything about. it's perfectly ok to feel one way now and then realize you feel differently later on. it can be because life experiences changed who you, or you realize/discover something, or etc.

also, how will someone know who/what they are without trying things out to see what fits? to see what feels right? not everyone just KNOWS who they are or what they want or how they feel automatically. telling people they can't experiment to see what works does nothing but alienate them and make them feel even more lost and alone.

i know it's a bit more of a touchy and difficult subject and im debating adding it in, but I see a similar discourse for example in the autistic community where people try to gatekeep the identity for only "officially diagnosed" people. (I was trying to think of something else that's not only gender/sexuality because my whole point should apply to more than just queer identities but this is all I could think of atm) i've seen it in other communities as well (mental or physical illnesses and disabilities and stuff for example) you have to relate to an identity basically, in order to bring it to a doctor. usually a doctor won't just say "oh you have this!" on their own; you have to tell the doctor "I think I have this" and sometimes it takes you years of research to figure out things yourself (because we all know doctors can be useless at times) by that point, if someone is putting that much time into a thing, there less chance of them faking it. if they think they have a disorder like DID but don't, then they still need help. but there shouldn't be so much aggression towards people who get evaluated or reevaluated and realize they were wrong. it's actually ok to be wrong and correct yourself later, contrary to popular belief. 1 or 19 or even 100 people being wrong doesn't mean we should let that reflect on *everyone* and let people with ill intent call everyone a "faker"

even if it turns out you were wrong, there's no real harm in trying on things until you reach a final conclusion. it's other people's opnions and reactions to it that are the harmful part.

[imagine if you had to guess what clothes and shoes would fit you, look good on you, and feel good without trying them on, you have to decide on one only, and then you have to keep wearing only those clothes and shoes after that and can never change out of them. that's so silly, right?]

sometimes you have to make guesses about your identity first and get confirmation later. sometimes you guess that you are a cishet man and date a cishet woman and realize a few years into the relationship that you are actually a trans lesbian. It's perfectly fine and normal to change after some time! we all need to not gatekeep and instead support each other. accept each other either way.

if someone feels they are trans for years and transitions and then realizes they are actually nonbinary and maybe slides into a more androgynous state or even stops transition or detransitions, don't call them fake! if someone is aroace and then starts dating, realizing they felt that way due to trauma in the past but were able to heal from it, don't call then a fraud! if a lesbian falls in love with a man and realizes she's actually bi, don't say she lied or tricked you!

yes, I know that there's often stigmas and stereotypes about changing. the whole "it's just a phase" thing for example. or accusing people of "following a trend." and the whole fact that the phobes always try to force their harmful belief that these identities are a "choice" and "choosing" them is wrong. change can mimic "a choice," but change does not always equal choice! someone changing does NOT always mean they are choosing something different. many times in life change isn't a choice!!! the fact that reflects poorly on the lables/communities by those who already have a bias against them is what needs change.

but that's the thing. that's precisely what i'm saying. we need to break down those stigmas around change. so what if it's a "phase" ???? why can't someone have an experience for a short time and then change it later due to whatever reason or circumstances? why can't someone try something out and then realize it's not right later on? why do we have to decide on a label or identity for life while still trying to figure out who we are? why is someone naturally changing or realizing something about themselves considered lying and fake? why do we let other people's bad opinions create stigmas and stereotypes around everything and then let that dictate everything we do? instead of gatekeeping and hurting potential new community members, why can't we break down those stereotypes and stigmas instead? instead of shaming people who try out your lables, why not shame and demonize the people that throw stereotypes and stigmas at you just because someone else is trying to figure out who they are still????? why let haters dictate how you treat others?

choose the right battles. fight the right people.

#lee rambles #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #queer #what do i tag this as???? too many words. brain tired from words and cant think of tags now #maybe those few will be fine for now #i hope this ramble made sense. it was hard to put into words. so not sure if it came across correctly or not #took forever to write. dont feel like proofreading. apologies for any typos or mistakes

[rendsflesh]

basic relationships chart (or something something...) with a double feature including kitty's children--

so! for the canons--

naki married dating shuu and they are so happily in love it's genuinely sickening; rough dynamic with karren because she doesn't trust his crybaby ass and he picks his nose in front of her to get under her skin. thinks of junichi as a cool older brother

mirumo the proud papa of shuu and adoptive father, of sorts, to karren; single but unsure if ready to mingle. i'm personally open to it but i'm unclear on if it actually suits mirumo's character considering his undying love for his wife. a true wife guy for the ages! he knows of lenn and thinks of him as strange. he distrusts the ikari family

karren is not in love with shuu-- mistook her feelings of adoration and idolization as genuine romantic love. she loves shuu but not in that way because i think it's a little weird considering the circumstances ♡ anyone that is an enemy of master shuu or the tsukiyama family are enemies, no ifs ands or buts

akihiro "dating" donato (no one knows what's going on with these two old men but at least they're having fun? question mark?) and, contrary to popular belief, is alive! why? who knows! i'll think of something. one-eyed ghoulification mayhaps.

renji dating watching over uta, more or less a wandering sort that does odd jobs on the side. he's probably staying with uta somewhere and is constantly having to keep him in check but also joins in on hijinks more than he cares to admit sometimes he's just too darn tired

cool! and now for the original characters--

ren, "head" of the ikari family-- slaughtered his ex-wife, yumiko, in cold blood and fed her remains to his two sons, nori and takeshi. don't worry, he also cleaned his plate. it was satisfactory. currently married (in his heart of hearts, awww omg!) to junichi. his ward loves him because it's borderline a cult. everyone else hates him though because they're sane. it's a whole thing.

yuu "dating" furuta, frenemies (enemies mostly.) with takeshi. they're sorta kinda rivals and all of their fights end in gorefest tie single time. was part of the ccg but leaves after faking his death, primarily because he thinks the ccg are a bunch of pussies and he wants to kill ghouls as he pleases. he also eats ghouls.

yori, professional clown at your service! dating nori and wants to marry him some day. rough relationship with ren because of a violent run-in, ren nearly kills and cannibalizes him. he and renji are kind of friends, mostly because of his ties to the clowns and renji's proximity to uta.

jun, head of the miyamoto family, has been a widow for several years. he and his teenaged daughter, aimi, live alone in their well-kept mansion. his wife, airi, was murdered by ryosuke and her kakuhou made into his very own quinque. he doesn't have a lot of relationships, considering his shut-in status. he's the closest thing to a pacifist ghoul you're gonna get and simply does not fuck around and find out.

katsuro is dating takeshi and has been defected from the ccg for quite some time. he leaves as a rank 1 but, currently, could be considered an associate special class or higher nowadays. he's turned more and more into a ghoul sympathizer as the days go on, mostly because of takeshi. lost his eye in the past due to a run-in with "glasgow", aka ren. also has a prosthetic right leg born from the same incident. slightly terrified of junichi.

chiyo is yumiko's sister and is married to asuka-- they're the rich lesbian aunts everyone wants but only takeshi and nori get. hates ren's guts, tolerates junichi's presence. she's well-known in the human world as a dj, known formally as b@rracuda and frequents the night club scene both as ghoul and "human" as a regular

masao is part of the washuu clan, born into it under the designated title of "seed" but ultimately defects because of it. he's an on and off ally of goat. hates every other washuu and associate, furuta especially. has a bit of a soft spot for rize, sees her somewhat as a sister. otherwise, he's known as a brutal and aggressive ghoul known as "ogre" that is infamous for his mass killings after long lulls of silence

ryosuke is a quinx, unsure of the generation (and i canNOT bother to care right now.) currently, and is a special class investigator. killed jun's wife and claimed "her" as his quinque. he "jokes" about his frame also being her but c'mon. that's too much ghoul. regularly conflicts with jun. jun killed his own husband as revenge, quoted as, "now, be as lonely as i am." and bit off one of his ears too. has a prosthetic ear now as replacement. would kill a child if they were a ghoul, has killed a ghoul child, and will continue to do so. aimi, you're next.

lenn is a clown that works at a ghoul restaurant. he doesn't really come into contact with the rest of the clowns unless necessary due to being a bit of a "homebody" at the restaurant. he's regularly paired up with furuta, however, and they've become besties. he likes playing bait for potential victims, hence his name "catfish", and loves seeing their faces when they see him auctioning them off like cattle to other ghouls. yori thinks he's fascinating, lenn thinks yori is kind of annoying.

#ooc tag tbt. #tbd / #this is liable to change as things develop <3 but thats the barebones of it rn! #if u see any weird formatting u don't. i hate this editor so much dude

[emerypilled]

I do think that Sylvimi is a switch4switch power struggle relationship contrary 2 popular belief (no one talks to me about this). Like there’s this one tumblr post that’s…really good I’ll add it to this post later that describes them really well. There’s really a lot to deliberate with them. I wonder if I’ll ever incorporate nsfw into canon. I doubt it but I love thinking about it!!

At first I was like well Domini is a total sub everyone knows that but then I was like BORINGGGGGGGGG but then I was like wait. No. I don’t want this to be a vanoe situation where noe (very similar to Domini and even moreso to myself) tops vanitas in every fic because Sylvia isn’t at all like vanitas and actually I don’t think noe is in any way a top and I hate how misinterpreted he is. So where’s the balance…I just think power struggle switch 4 switch is where it’s at.

Obviously Sylvia isn’t really a submissive person by nature and she certainly ends up “winning” 90% of the time but it’s not without resistance from Domini. And on that: NEITHER OF THEM ARE BRATS! They both take themselves so fucking seriously it’s annoying. But they both initiate about equally and I think while sylvia always goes at it from a dom angle I do think with Domini she’s a little more…I don’t know. Half the time she’s like Shut The Fuck Up (they start making out) and half the time she’s like Hey do you wanna have sex cause I wanna have sex and Sylvia’s like Yeah let’s have sex and then they have sex.

I don’t know guys I think sometimes Sylvia loses. I thinkkkkk I think sometimes every now and then when they’re making out Domini’s able to get Sylvia to forget herself and she just wordlessly lets Domini take complete control because she just wants to serve! Sometimes the hunger takes over the ego. I personallyyyyy I personally think that’s awesome I mean.

If there’s one. Thing I’m going to do it’s going to be writing lesbians that probably have terrible rough sex all the time (wherein one of them is just me but way worse and the other is my dream girl but only a little worse) but the whole reason I wanted to make this post is because of This

Aghhhhhh you know WHAT??????? SYLVIA IS SAYING THIS ABOUT DOMINI BECAUSE DESPITE EVERYTHING SHE DESPERATELY WANTS TO BE VULNERABLE AND DOMINI IS THE ONLY PERSON SHE WOULD EVEN CONSIDER SHOWING HERSELF TO!!!!! SHES STOPPED BY HER ENVY AND WRATH AND PRIDE AND THIS DESIRE IS SO FUCKING REPRESSED IN HER SHE DOESNR EVEN KNOW ITS THERE BUT DOMINI DOES. DOMINI DOES!!!!!!

AFHHHHGHHHH AND DOMINI DOES AND SHE EANTS THAT SO BADLY BECAYSE SHE WANTS TO SEE ALL OF SYLVIA BECAUSE SHE REALLY FEELS A LIT OF DISGUST AT PEOPLE AND TBIS WOKLD CONSOLE HER ENVY BUT AS TIME GOES ON SHE REALIZES SHE WOJKDNR FEEL ANY DISCUST AT SYKVIA AT ALL BEFAUSE SHE RESPECTS HER SO HARD AND SYKVIA RESPECTS HER FUCKJNG BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#domini flores #sylvia ko #nsft

[osmiabee]

The day this website realises that labels should simply be a way to describe an overarching theme of a persons lived reality rather than shoehorning every microscopic detail of a persons life into a different pseudoscientific term as a way to seek ~validity~ from strangers online is the day I'll know peace

#not to invite disc horse in the year of our lord 2020 but bruh #i be out here... seeing things... and i just dont care for it?? #contrary to popular belief there are a lot of ways to be a lesbian actually #you can be ace you can be non-binary you can be a questioning wlw that only wants to date women at the moment while you figure it all out #because ultimately it just has to be a theme of your lived reality like actual real life stuff that is happening to you #being like ''i think this broadly describes my current situation pretty accurately'' is like.. as far as these labels should go #you don't need a label for ''i have trust issues'' or ''i struggle to experience attraction because im traumatised'' you need a therapist #i say this from a place of love as a deeply traumatised dyke with a therapist #big up halima #but seriously dont stagnate because you've defined yourself into a tiny box because someone on the internet said it was valid #also while we're here and youre reading these tags like what the fuck set her off it was the lesbian masterdoc discourse #the fact that it explains experiences that also apply to bi women is not biphobia #its a facet of the fact that women experiencing attraction to women have shared lived experiences #there isnt some hard line to cross with lesbians trying to recruit and convert innocent bi girls to be evil dykes its just not happening #if bi women read it and go OH SHIT THATS ME IM DEFINITELY A LESBIAN thats cause for celebration #if they read it and go OH SHIT ME TOO but also I don't fully relate and I'm still bi then fuck yeah thats fine #like literally nobody is forcing anyone to read it #shared experiences... are normal and good actually #also while were here #gender non-conformity or being transfeminine or non-binary does not make you immune to being a lesbian #dont make me tap the sign #but like in all seriousness lesbian is such a good term with a rich history of gender non conformity and inclusivity #and its our responsibility as a collective to emphasize that the community can and does include transfeminine and nb identities #because it literally has in the past its a really recent modern change if you look historically #half the reputation is just straight up lesbophobia i cant even lie #but also a collective effort to be openly intersectional can only bring good things #wow this went off on a tangent #but also theres so many microdefinitions drawing these hard weird chopped up lines across the community #and it makes me sad #so stop it.. just fuckin live your life... and get a therapist... can be related i just think therapy is good anyway bye

[kingjinxii]

Okay. (cracks knuckles)

First of all, I'm not obligated to tell you my sexuality to argue my stance. If you can't accept that, then you're honestly really creepy for wanting to know my personal information.

Yes I know what he did. It was a harmless joke about accidentally being mistaken for a lesbian that occurred over two months ago on a stream that anyone could have seen before then. However, with the way everyone's reacting, you would think he outright said "I hate lesbians" or called someone a dyke.

And why are people bringing it up now, when again, this was on a stream where anyone could have called him out for the past two months?

I don't know, maybe because yesterday he tried to assert a boundary with his fanbase? He tweeted "Don't send sexual shit into my DMs like we're friends" and suddenly people are dragging up this one-off joke.

And about his apology: although, I personally don't think he should have had to make one, y'all don't think that ACTIVELY HARASSING THE MAN AND HIS FRIENDS FOR HOURS wouldn't put him on edge and make him fuck up more? Contrary to popular belief, even though he's a cishet man, he still has feelings and he's still human. And me saying that is not "babying" him that's treating him like a fucking human, not overly idolizing him or demonizing him.

From what I've seen of Khoi, if you had given him the time to process what he'd done wrong, he would have come up with something more thoughtful to say. But instead you fucking push him to slam something out while under constant attack and then harass him more because it's not good enough.

And a lot of what he said in the thread was accurate. He said that he's not sure if this callout was in good faith because of the sexual harassment, he said he's human so he's probably going to fuck up again (because not everyone is perfect), and that, hey, there are bigger things to worry about than a one-off joke he made months ago (And, just to add, a joke the majority of lesbians I saw who were 20+ and not terminally online, actually found pretty funny)

For fuck's sake, at this point, I don't care if you found the joke unfunny or not. The treatment of Khoi this past 24 hours has been fucking abyssmal, and you're honestly heartless if you can't see that.

#genshin impact #khoi dao #albedo #lux_ren.mp3 #i've said my piece

[mariaiscrafting]

Cishet dnf stans are without fail just super gross about it. I've cultivated my tumblr sphere to be so queer that I genuinely forgot how terrible cishets are about mlm ships they deem "attractive". Cishets making homophobic "jokes"........bro that's just homophobia.

I feel like that's so much easier on Tumblr anyways since Tumblr is so disproportionately queer. I can actually stand to follow Dream stans (*cough* looking at you Angel *cough*), George pfps, and some DNFers here because they're mostly queer. Probably the main reason I stopped using Twitter was actually because of all the cishet DNF shippers. I think there's just something about being queer that makes you more understanding of comp het, queer fetishization, being treated as Other, being psychoanalyzed like a lab specimen, and being potentially outed. Subsequently, queer shippers are simply less likely to take DNF shipping a step too far...

There are lots of ways in which cishet shippers take it a step too far. One common thing is fetishization. Contrary to popular-anti belief, not every shipper is fetishizing mlm relationships. But a lot of them are. Fetishization is contingent on a foundational belief that one is consuming media about a certain romantic/sexual dynamic because they find it attractive. To fetishize is to treat a ship as Other, as lesser or more or weirder or "special" or whatever. If one wouldn't treat a het relationship the same way as they do the mlm relationship they're theorizing about, gushing about, drawing about, writing about, etc., then one should reexamine the reasons one is even shipping them, because the likely answer is fetishizing reasons. Another way shippers take it too far is their creepy fascination with all the intricacies of DNF. Like, the analysis of every voice inflection, every mention of the other, every moment they're together, every smile and laugh and facial expression. It's so beyond creepy. This isn't how you treat real life humans. This isn't how you treat people you respect. This is how you treat fictional characters, or toys, or specimens you're curious about. It's absurd.

But those are all things I've talked about a hundred times on this blog. I'm glad I have been able to, too, because it seems so impossible to get through to Twitter DNFers compared to Tumblr DNFers, partially because of the character limit and partially because of what mcyttwt stan culture is like (stubborn, hardheaded, overly protective, significantly more obsessive, etc).

Regarding homophobic jokes... I think a lot of cishet shippers think they can't be homophobic if they are shipping an mlm pairing. Because if you're so open to gay people that you ship them, how could you possibly be homophobic? Isn't that the opposite of homophobia? To that, I respond the same way I respond to cishet men who claim they're not lesbophobic because they like lesbian porn and white people who claim they're not racist because they have black friends and men who claim they're not misogynistic because they love their daughters or wives; bigotry is not solely enacted upon with explicit hatred. Bigotry can manifest itself in many ways, and in the 21st Century, most often that is in subtle ways that implicate one's own view of minorities/oppressed groups as distinctly "Other." You can have a fascination, love, or adoration for an oppressed group, and still be bigoted against them. Love /=/ the inability to be racist, homophobic, sexist, etc. A failure to accept criticism and recognize one's own propensity for homophobia will only lead to making the same homophobic remarks/jokes, failing to eradicate one's own subconscious beliefs that led to one's homophobia (e.g., comp het), and stagnation in one's personal growth.

And yes, if you can’t understand how treating DNF like this obsession, this other-than-human idealized fasion, is homophobic, then you are one of these subtlely bigoted people, and I am begging you to pause, step back, and self-reflect, please.

As always, the usual disclaimers apply. First, not all cishet DNF shippers cross a line in their shipping. If you read this and you don't know if this applies to you, it's important for you to pause and reflect on your manner of shipping. Recognizing when we do wrong is the first step in eradicating homophobia and fetishization. Second of all, for those who don't know what prompted this ask, here is a link to the half-joke post of mine from a few hours ago. Third of all, I am never an expert on any of the discourse I engage in. I'm simply providing my opinion. Fourth of all, this is not meant to be hateful. Yes, I come from a place of extreme frustration and exhaustion towards cishet shippers, but I still think there is capability for growth within the mlm shipping community. I am a DNFer, just a queer one; I read DNF fics, I love DNF art, and I watch DNF compilations. I, too, gush whenever Dream and George act fond of each other. I'm not an anti; I just like to criticize the communities I am a part of because I love the spaces they provide for me and want them to grow and improve through self-reflection and critical analysis. Positive change always starts from within.

Anyways, if you're interested in my other random rants about related issues: here is one of my original takes on DNFers crossing lines they shouldn't and dehumanizing DNF for their own enjoyment, here is a more general take of mine about reading into DNF dynamics with empathy, here is my thing with fetishization (thank you Angel for the input), and here is a long-ass post with queer perspectives on DNF shipping (thank you Xen for the input).

As always, reminder to blacklist /neg or #discourse if you don’t want to see posts like this from me. Take care of yourselves <3

#/neg #discourse #long post #long posts #dnf #dreamnotfound #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #homophobia #mcyttwt #asks

[bills-pokedex]

Worldbuilding Month: Day 3

{According to my outline, today was supposed to be “explain to the audience that culture is not erased but rather embraced; it just happens to coexist alongside Common and other international efforts for unity and peace,” but because yesterday’s post was so in-depth, fuck it, we’re talking about gay stuff.

Putting this behind a cut because the intro is long and the meat of the post is longer, and also, I’m one of those people who say the word “queer” a lot and would prefer to have this up as a warning so I don’t have to explain to folks why it’s okay and why the “queer is a slur” thing is TERF rhetoric.

Because Pokémon is a children’s franchise from a country that’s somehow more conservative about LGBT+ issues than the United States, it should come as no surprise that there’s very little explicit queer rep in canon, and anything that could conceivably connected to the LGBT community is either: A) actually fanon, or B) treated as a joke. (See any time crossdressing is brought up for the latter.)

It should also come as no surprise that I like to ignore this. Or, rather, I like to briefly touch on it now and then because I like the idea of using media to discuss topics of real-world importance, so the short answer about whether or not homophobia/transphobia/etc is dead is “legally, yes; culturally ... eeeeeeeeeeh.” As in, no one’s outlawed being queer. Gay marriage is legal everywhere. No government, national or otherwise, cares that you’re gay. Resources are not that difficult to find if you’re new to this and trying to figure things out, and the trainer community is very, very queer and very, very prone to having older trainers mentor younger ones so they can figure things out for themselves. (For the latter, the entire point of training according to trainers themselves is to go out, find themselves, and change their lives out there, so even if the rest of the world was just like it is IRL, honestly, training would probably be a lot like Tumblr, only with fewer TERFs and a lot more walking.)

On the other hand, there’s still a lot of tension. The entire idea of world unity and openness is still a pretty new thing, so older generations aren’t as accepting of queer people as the younger generations and various governments themselves are. There’s not really any violence, exactly, but it’s not exactly unusual for someone to have a parent who believes their lesbian daughters just need to meet the right person or a grandparent who’s just casually transphobic. The point is Bill’s world is definitely a utopia compared to ours, but it’s not perfect. Yet.

When it comes to culture beyond the old-fashioned folks out there, queer people are pretty well-accepted. There’s no push for having queer people in certain roles because on a greater scale, discrimination doesn’t exist. To that end, a lot of the characters you’re familiar with may be queerer than you think.

Which means I’m about to get into a List, but first, a couple of side notes:

1. The canon pokémon professors are largely ace, straight, or lowkey bi. Professor Juniper is definitely a lesbian, and Sycamore is pan, but the majority of the others are currently cis dudes in marriages with cis women, cis dudes who were once married to cis women, or Professor Magnolia (who’s aro). The point here is that most of the canon pokémon professors are at least attracted to a gender other than their own.

2. Giovanni is a painfully straight dilf, but the other evil team leaders are some form of queer. For example, Maxie is gay af, Archie is pan and in a poly relationship with his own executives, Cyrus is aroace, Ghetsis is sexually attracted to taking over the world (and himself), Lysandre is very gay and lowkey pining for Sycamore, Guzma is bi, Lusamine is also painfully straight, and Rose is pan but pretends to not be interested for the sake of the media.

3. All of the pokémon storage system administrators are queer with the exception of Amanita, who’s eight years old and therefore we are not going to fucking talk about what she wants right now. Granted, this is largely due to Bill’s habit of adopting every underdog he can find and turning them into administrators, and it just so happens that society’s most offbeat characters might be a little bit queer, generally speaking. I’ve gotten into which flavors of queer in previous posts, but I might bring it up again in a resource post of its own this month if people are interested.

4. Ash Ketchum is perpetually ten, so like Amanita, we’re not gonna talk about what he wants. He is, however, absolutely questioning his gender. (Red, who’s a separate character from Ash, will be mentioned below. Likewise for Blue, who’s separate from Gary. Alls I can say is Professor Oak had really bad luck with children and just so happens to have three orphaned grandchildren.)

That leaves the gym leaders, trial captains, kahunas, Frontier brains, and the Elite Four gauntlets/Champions, which are as follows:

KANTO

Brock is bi but doesn’t realize it.

Misty is painfully straight.

Lt. Surge is painfully straight.

Erika is trans and a lesbian. She may or may not be pining for Sabrina. (Related note: She’s the daughter of one of the kimono girls from the same troupe as Bill’s mother. I bring this up because of the whole technically canon point that only girls can learn the dances to summon Ho-oh and Lugia, which means Erika was taught these once she came out.)

Koga is ace but heteromantic.

Janine is a lesbian though. Koga doesn’t know, and Janine, knowing her father is super-traditional, has no intention of telling him, so she’s 100% in the closet.

Sabrina is ace but questioning her romantic orientation, and probably the only thing that gets her really flustered is the entire concept of romance (which is to say, Erika).

Blaine is gay.

Blue is very gay.

Lorelei is aroace.

Bruno is straight.

Agatha is straight and also salty over a failed relationship with Professor Oak. (Blue’s father is her son, by the way, but not Gary’s.)

Lance is gay af.

Red is pan and perpetually confused by Blue.

Trace does not exist idek what you’re talking about.

JOHTO

Falkner is bi.

Bugsy is aroace.

Whitney is a lesbian who likes to pretend she’s bi so no one questions why her gym is full of pretty girls only.

Morty is gay and publicly in a relationship with Eusine. (Or, at least, people know he’s in a relationship, but the media just refers to Eusine as “a local pokémon collector” and nothing more.)

Chuck is bi and happily married to his wife, thanks very much.

Jasmine is trans and aroace. (I like to pretend Special didn’t happen.)

Pryce is aroace.

Clair is probably the gayest gym leader you’ll come across. Yes, I’m including Kalos here.

Will is gay.

Karen is not only gay but also has been elevated to gay icon by the media. She is the sort of gay baby gays look up to and hope to be one day.

HOENN

Roxanne is trans but straight.

Brawly is bi.

Wattson is shockingly (no pun intended) straight and happily married.

Flannery is gay. She’s not as gay as Clair, but she comes very, very close. She’s also post-op trans.

Norman is aroace, and we won’t get into what that means for his marriage.

Winona doesn’t care for labels. (She’s nonbinary but goes by she/her and she’s pansexual.)

Liza and Tate are, like, eight, so we’re not getting into this either.

I take my comments about Clair back. She’s the most lesbian gym leader. The gayest gym leader, hands down, is Wallace. As an unrelated side point, he's not in a relationship with Steven Stone, contrary to popular belief.

Juan is Wallace’s gay mentor, but because he came from an older generation, his queerness is kinda toned down by comparison.

The entire Hoenn Elite Four is aroace. All of them. Glacia is trans.

Steven Stone is also ace, but he’s panromantic. He’s currently in a relationship with adventure.

SINNOH

Roark is gay.

Gardenia is gay. And trans.

Maylene is bi.

Crasher Wake? Gay.

Fantina? Gay.

Byron? Bi and married to a cis woman.

Candice? Gay.

Volkner? Very gay. Not dating Flint, weirdly enough. Yet.

Sinnoh is famous for having an extremely gay lineup, in other words. It’s a meme among the pokémon training queer community that one day, everyone will just move to Sinnoh and be ridiculously gay in the snow.

The Elite Four, however, is three-out-of-four gay, with Aaron, Flint, and Lucian being the gay ones here. Bertha is not gay but rather aroace and also trans.

Cynthia isn’t gay, contrary to popular belief, but she is in a wlw relationship. She’s actually pan, and her partner is Diantha.

UNOVA

Cilan is straight. Chili is ace. Cress is gay.

Lenora is bi and extremely happily married.

Burgh is aroace and nonbinary. (Pronouns are they/them or he/him.)

Elesa is ace but doesn’t quite know where she is romantically speaking.

Clay is extremely straight and furthermore one of those old-fashioned people I was talking about earlier.

Skyla is a very proud lesbian.

Brycen is gay and in the closet because he’s afraid Unovan tabloids would have a field day with that.

Drayden is gay, but Iris is pan.

Cheren is gay but too uptight to admit it.

Roxie is bi and also poly, incidentally.

Marlon is bi.

Shauntal is gay. She has a crush on Caitlin.

Marshal is gay.

No one really knows which way Grimsley goes, and he seems to delight in not telling anyone. (He’s bi.)

Caitlin is a very tired trans woman who’s also bi.

KALOS

You would think Kalos would be gayer than Sinnoh, but actually no. A lot of them are actually straight, bi, or simply ace. 

Viola, Ramos, and Wulfric are all the “we’re just cis and straight” crowd.

Grant, Korrina, Clemont, and Valerie are all ace.

Valerie is homoromantic, though.

Olympia is bi and also post-op trans.

Malva is straight and once had an unfortunate thing for Lysandre.

Wikstrom is straight.

Siebold is shockingly straight, to the surprise of literally everyone before he’d clarified this point.

Drasna is gay ... which is also to the surprise of literally everyone, who all thought she was straight.

Diantha is openly gay, but her relationship with Cynthia isn’t public knowledge. She leans into the gay identity to be a lesbian icon for younger queer kids, but she’ll still accept roles for straight characters (even ones in romance movies) because she wants to also show off her range as an actress.

ALOLA

Ilima is gay and trans.

Lana is eight and what is this.

Kiawe is bi.

Mallow is also gay and trans.

Sophocles is aroace.

Acerola is surprisingly not ace but rather just simply straight. I have this headcanon because I refuse to make a pun out of her name.

Mina is pan af.

Hala is straight.

Olivia is very, very straight.

Nanu is too tired to care. (At one point, he was bi, though.)

Hapu is a baby gay.

Kahili is an awkward af gay.

Molayne is not only gay, but he’s also the storage system admins’ wise gay uncle, who possesses the only brain cell among the storage system admins’ gay community. He’s also nonbinary (they/them or he/him), but he’s honestly extremely chill about pronouns.

GALAR

Galar is basically the Sinnoh for bi people, ngl.

Milo is bi.

Nessa is bi.

Kabu is bi.

Bea is bi.

Allister is eight years old and what is this. (Probably ace, though.)

Opal is actually pretty straight. She was once in a relationship with Mustard.

By contrast, Bede is very gay. And also trans.

Gordie? Bi.

Melony? Bi.

Piers? Very bi.

Marnie is bi but kinda denies it.

Raihan is extremely gay and for some reason thinks the other Galarian gym leaders are gay too.

Klara is bi.

Avery is bi.

Leon is bi.

Mustard is straight and once had a relationship with Opal but is currently happily married to someone else.

Peony is basically like Clair and Wallace for straight people. Like ... he’s the straightest person you will ever meet. Take all the stereotypes about straight people, remove the toxic masculinity, and distill the results down, and you will have Peony. Peony is so straight you can use him to hang pictures perfectly. He’s so straight that if you’re ever insecure about whether or not you’re gay enough, you need just to stand next to Peony for five minutes. Peony is basically why almost everyone else is a little bit bi—because Arceus or Mew or whoever put all the straightness in the world into Peony and went, “Wow, I think I went a little too far.” Peony is that straight.

ORANGE ISLANDS

Most people probably don’t care about this region because it’s an anime only, but I care.

They’re all gay. Luana’s daughter exists because of a sperm donor, but Luana herself isn’t married and is very much a lesbian.

Furthermore, Rudy is trans because Electric Tales of Pikachu once made a trans joke about him, and you know what? I’m going to fix that so it’s something that actually respects trans people.

The Orange Islands are basically the other location gay trainers say they’ll turn into a queer commune, only it’s for gay people who judge the snow-loving gays hardcore. (To be fair ... they have a valid point. Listen. Listen, my fellow queer people. Why would you want snow when you could have sunny beaches and no frostbite?)

BATTLE FRONTIER

Anyway, Noland is aroace.

Greta is ace but biromantic.

Tucker is nonbinary (they/them or he/him) and also aroace.

Lucy is straight, shockingly enough.

Spenser is aroace.

Brandon is aroace.

Anabel is bi.

Palmer is straight.

Thorton is aroace.

Dahlia is homoromantic but ace.

Darach is 100% straight.

Argenta is aroace.

The Battle Frontier is, in other words, the closest thing to a Sinnoh or Galar for ace people. }

#worldbuilding month #resources #pokemon headcanon #pokemon lore #long post

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

unpopular opinion: lgbtq coding or actors/writers/producers/whoever else works on a movie i don't know enough about film saying that a character is lgbtq doesn't make it canon. if that's how they view the character (especially writers or producers) then they can fucking put it in the script. it's essentially queerbaiting while pandering to conservative audiences

Okay I’m assuming you’re talking about birds of prey and not Six (which also has queercoded characters), and I have some thoughts.

Firstly, Birds of Prey DID put canon queer characters in the script. Harley is confirmed to be bisexual within the first five minutes of the film, with Poison Ivy (or someone who looks suspiciously like her) appearing in that slot machine bit where Harley talks about her previous relationships. As a bisexual women who never really sees myself represented in blockbuster films (especially superhero films), I was so glad that BOP carried over Harley’s bisexuality from the comics. And we have to remember, this isn’t some throwaway character...this is Harley fucking Quinn, one of the most popular DCEU characters to date. And she’s queer and it’s not treated as a big deal! It’s just a part of her character. (Plus, Margot Robbie herself and Cathy Yan want to introduce poison Ivy into the DCEU soon and get that queer relationship going which would be absolutely fantastic and I for one cannot wait). And that’s not even mentioning Renee Montoya, was confirmed to be a lesbian within the script and whose sexuality directly impacts the plot via her ex wife. That was literally in the script.

I’m not going to get in to the whole thing surrounding Black Mask and Zsasz because I don’t feel qualified to discuss that and I understand why some people dislike how they portrayed them, but what I can get in to is Huntress and Black Canary’s relationship. Because I have a lot of feelings.

Do these characters specifically say that they’re part of the LGBT community within the script? No. They don’t. But there was no point in the script where it would have come up naturally. Huntress spent 90 percent of the script being awkward and fighting people. At what point would she bring up her sexuality? Same with Dinah. They had shit to do and honestly in their situations I don’t see why they would need to bring up that they’re gay. Contrary to some people’s beliefs...gay people don’t go around announcing that they’re gay every four seconds. Why would these characters do that?

But what Birds of Prey did do was show some small moments of chemistry between those two characters, specifically the diner scene at the end where Dinah keeps complimenting Helena and correcting Renee on Helena’s behalf. When I first saw that scene, I definitely got some vibes there...and then I find this interview a few weeks later where the actresses confirmed that that’s what they were actively going for!

But here’s the thing: I don’t personally see any of what birds of prey did queerbaiting. Why? Because the film never really flaunted it’s gay characters or tried to gain brownie points with the LGBT community by saying that it was some cornerstone of representation. There was a little bit of coverage on Harley being confirmed to be bi, but Margot Robbie (who also produced the film) was very casual about the whole thing. She didn’t see it as a big deal, didn’t act as if she was some amazing person for putting it in, she just treated it as a normal, everyday thing that she wanted to carry over from the comic books. Compare that to another comic book oriented series of films that keeps saying they have queer representation and keep acting as if they’re doing something amazing for the queer community by having these characters exist but the actual scenes that would back these claims up are mysteriously nowhere to be seen. Or how about teen wolf? Remember that video of two of the actors hinting that their characters would be in a relationship in the upcoming but they actually weren’t. Or fuck it, how about Supergirl? They keep teasing the audience that maybe Kara and Lena will get into a relationship but refuse to go anywhere with it or commit to it. These series draw in LGBT people with the hints that these characters are maybe possibly part of the community but never want to take the dive and fully commit.

But Birds of prey didn’t tease anyone. It didn’t try and draw LGBT people in by flaunting their characters. Birds of Prey simply showed us a handful of confirmed queer characters, and also showed some characters who either have great chemistry (Dinah and Helena) or hint towards their relationships in a different way (for example Black Mask and Zsasz wearing each other’s clothes) and then confirmed beyond the film that, yeah, that’s what they were going for. It doesn’t mean that these characters are 100 canonically gay, but feels a hell of a lot more genuine than other studios or other films.

And pander to a conservative audience? I’m pretty sure all conservatives hated this film for its stance on patriarchal structures and misogyny. Birds of Prey did a lot of things...pandering wasn’t one of them.

Could the film have been gayer? Yeah...a lot of it is blink and you’ll miss it moments and I would have loved for characters like Poison Ivy to actually show up. But,,, damn it I respect the film for a) putting it all in there and b) never treating any of it like a big deal or trying to act as if they did something amazing for representation. And, just like I said in my last post, I feel like there’s a big difference in having one vaguely queer coded character versus having 2 definitely confirmed ones and 4 coded ones. And if we want more openly and explicitly gay characters or more LGBT romances (such as Harley and Ivy) then we need to show support for a film that, while it wasn’t perfect in the representation department, was at least trying to give audiences queer characters.

As always feel free to disagree with me on this or continue to discuss it. I can only speak from my personal experiences with my sexuality, but I (for the most part) enjoyed how BoP added LGBT characters into the film without trying to act as if it was revolutionary.

#birds of prey #birds of prey (2020) #birds of prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn) #harley quinn #helena bertinelli #huntress #dinah lance #black canary #renee montoya #black mask #victor zsasz #roman sionis #enya discusses: birds of prey 2020

[lily-orchard]

Since you seem to be burying yourself in warcraft fanfic lately (understandable fuck bfa) what do you think of Sylvaina in terms of story quality?

Story quality? I’ll level with you: It’s awful. Like just straight up awful. A lot of meandering, overly-padded trash that keeps burying an interesting premise under it’s weight.

Mikaila’s got me reading a lot of them, and I’ve noticed with this pairing in particular a lot of common issues.

Meadering stories that go nowhere for half the word count

Sylvanas written to be either a stock anime trope or just Genderflipped Nathanos (I know it’s hard to tell, but those two have different personalities).

Distractions upon distractions upon distractions.

One in particular I read is really long, but the actual story only accounts for a third of it’s runtime. The rest is spent characterizing a TON of Champions. Just a shitload of champions. The main cast consists of Sylvanas, Jaina, Nathanos, Kalira and a single Forsaken Warrior Champion named Tyra. But then you’ve got every single leader who has a quarter of their own story, and then 18 other Champions.

I don’t know if a lot of people know this, but story-wise there are a lot of adventurers, but the Champion on each faction is a single character. The player is the Champion while questing, and an adventurer in group content. Questing is a single-player adventure and the Champion is the main character there.

There aren’t a ton of Champions referred to as such, there’s just one. So characterizing so many of them just pads the story.

I’m of the opinion that fanfics should be focused. If you want to tangent to focus on characters other than the ones given top billing, you should maybe give them their own story rather than stalling and bloating and getting so distracted. I’ve found a lot of creators have a hard time saying ‘no’ to new ideas and try to shove all of them in there and that’s a story that has that problem.

Steven Universe Syndrome I’m gonna call it.

Oh also there’s like... way too many Arranged Marriage stories. Why is this such a fixation? Honestly you should just drop the pretense and have Sylvanas take Jaina prisoner because that’s basically how these work most of the time. It’s basically little more than an excuse to trap Jaina in Orgrimmer/Undercity and force them to have interactions. It’s like Beauty and the Beast but the Beast has PTSD and that’s why they’re a fucking shitheel. It’s always got this undercurrent of “Oh Jaina’s a prisoner but she’ll warm up to her and then fix someone who doesn’t need or want fixing.”

It’s like every gross heterosexual trope stapled onto a lesbian relationship and contrary to popular belief being gay doesn’t make this BatB/Reylo bullshit any less disgusting.

I know people are going to say I’m just biased, but the best of the bunch are the two written by Mikaila because one is a big TSR-style canon rewrite and the other starts from the premise of Sylvanas empathizing with Jaina having suffered severe loss and trauma at the hands of a violent and egotistical man, and then CHEWING OUT ONE OF THE MANY CHARACTERS WHO TRY TO SHAME JAINA FOR HAVING EMOTIONS!

Hi I’ll take “literally the best fucking premise for a story ever” for $100 Alex.

It’s kinda why me and Mikaila started writing this Horde Champion story for our own sake, as a way to vent our frustrations with not only Blizzard but all the people who claim to hate how Blizzard writes and yet simultaneously writes exactly like them.

And we also vented a little frustrations at the Arranged Marriage trope as well

I fucking love writing with Mikaila. Half of this shit is venting the rest is crack pairings.

#Anonymous

[floral-cutie]

Hi I have something to say about the organised religion reblog. Being critical of religion generally (and especially from my experience and research, abrahamic religions) is good. That isn't to say the followers of those religions are inherently bad, but that there are lots of harmful teachings in these ideologies. I know if you yourself are religious this can be hard to hear.

hey anon! i've been thinking a lot abt what you said, and thats why i took so long to reply, im sorry. i think i understand what you're trying to say, and i guess you have a point. i, myself, disagree with A LOT of the catholic church's rules and "teachings" because they literally go against Jesus own teachings, shown in the bible, like queer people for example, Christ never said ANYTHING bad abt gay nor trans ppl, or yet, the sin of sodom, contrary to popular belief, was not homosexuality or anything of the sort, but inhospitality and rape???? yet cardinals and bishops have been saying throughout the years "we accept the sinner but not the sin", "acting on your impulses is sinful" or "sodomite people are all going to hell" like..... excuse me? have you ever even READ the mf bible? i guess not right? the catholic church as an institution has a lot of rules i dont agree with, and ig the problem in itself isnt Christ's teachings and all but the way ppl have been repetitive, throughout the years, saying shit and spreading evil in Christ's name. the way they have meddled, and twisted and rewritten Christ's teachings, to fit their narrative. you are right, not all followers are evil or anything, even i, myself, treat every christian as a homophobe until proven otherwise, for my safety, not because all of them are bad, but because a lot of them already said a bunch of horrible things to me for being a lesbian, so then i try not to open up myself too much until i know its safe for me to do so. and yeah, there are some catholics who are bad, and some that are not, but you got a point there when you say that there are a lot of harmful things on those religious institutions teachings.

one of the things i most thought of, when i reblogged that post was those many times in which ppl mocked me for being a lesbian and a follower of the catholic faith, and actually believing in a God, which alright, i think i might get where they're coming from, but its still kinda sad. but thank you for writing this to me, truly, you made me think abt things i hadn't even thought abt when i reblogged that post.

#ask #anon

[k8kat]

bi/pan discourse

i want to preface this by saying that i am not trying to invalidate bisexuality in any way. i condemn biphobia, harmful bi stereotypes, and pansexuals who use the label in biphobic ways. 

there has been a major resurgence of pan vs bi discourse lately, and it has been EXHAUSTING. (honestly, i’ve seriously considered leaving the lgbtq+ side of the internet before just because of the sheer amount of discourse.) initially, i was going to keep to myself and try not to let the discourse get to me. but there’s a shit ton of misinformation and people not taking pan voices seriously, so i thought fuck that. i try not to comment on individual community discourses because i believe that if it’s not your label, it’s not your place. for example, i don’t weigh in on lesbian discourse because i am not a lesbian. therefore, my opinion doesn’t really matter. anyone who identifies as a lesbian is more of an expert on the subject than i am and my voice might get in the way of other valid opinions from lesbians. same goes for trans, nonbinary, ace, etc. but this discourse does involve me, so here’s my two cents. 

first off, we need a bit of history. pansexualism was coined in the early 1900’s by freud to denote the idea that all human behavior is driven by sexual instinct. but no one listens to freud because he was wrong about a lot of things. many people, when looking at the origins of modern pansexuality, point to a horrendously biphobic and transphobic internet post from 2002. however, pansexuality as a label has been used as early as the 1960’s/1970’s (though that was partially within kink communities to mean someone who was open to any sexual experience). in the mid-90’s a more recognizable version of pansexuality came into play. pansexuality was used in some cases interchangeably with bisexuality in the 90’s. some have said that they used the pansexual label because of transphobia and nonbinary exclusionists in certain areas of the bi community. (i am not trying to say that bisexuals are transphobic, i am only saying that there were/are transphobic bisexuals, just like there were/are transphobic pansexuals, lesbians, gay men, etc.) some have said that the label was used because of the fact that more gender identities were starting to be more widely accepted, so some in the bi community felt they needed a new term. while the bi community has become much more accepting, many people today still identify as pansexual.

many people have also said that pansexuality promotes bi erasure. if people use pansexuality to describe someone who actually identifies as bi, then yes. If you use pansexuality to invalidate bi people, then yes. but someone simply identifying as pan does not automatically erase a bi person. if someone includes the pan flag in a post but not the bi flag, that is the fault of the person who made the post, not the pan community as a whole. pansexuality is a valid identity with a history that, contrary to popular belief, extends past the existence of tumblr. most labels with overlapping meanings tend to lead to some degree of erasure (e.g. i’ve heard many claim that sappho was actually bi and calling her a lesbian is bi erasure, which, if true, i agree with). bi erasure is a serious issue that does need to be addressed, and while pansexuality does sometimes contribute, someone identifying as pan is not actively hurting anyone (unless they use pansexuality to justify bigotry, but that’s true of any identity).

many people have used pansexuality to excuse biphobia and transphobia. i am not trying to excuse any biphobic or transphobic pansexuals. i want to make it clear that i do not agree with these people in any way. trans women are women and trans men are men. bisexuals are valid and are not hypersexual, dirty, or less inclusive than pansexuals. bisexuals are wonderful and i 100% support anyone who identifies as bi. 

there are many definitions of pansexuality, some of which have been problematic. however, the most widely used one today, and the one that i use, is attraction to all genders. many people use the similar if not identical definitions of bi and pan to say that pansexuality is redundant and unnecessary. i do recognize that bisexuals can also be attracted to nonbinary people (yes, i’ve read the bi manifesto, many times. in fact, the part that comes after the famously-quoted bit in the bi manifesto tends to get overlooked and reads, “We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals. Many of us choose not to label ourselves anything at all, and find the word bisexual to be inadequate and too limiting.”). i am not going to tell bisexual people what their identity means. that’s not my place. i realize that some people say that pan, being on the mspec (multi-gender attraction spectrum) falls under the umbrella of bi, and i realize that some people find calling bi an umbrella term offensive. and i realize that having two words for pretty much the same thing can seem very redundant. so why don’t i identify as bi? the best way that i can describe it is that i don’t feel any connection to the term. when i use it it feels like it’s not mine. like i’m stealing or hiding. (though that could partially be because the only time i’ve called myself bi was in the presence of someone i knew would make fun of me for being pan.) simply put, i feel more comfortable identifying as pan. and yes, i realize that many people believe labels are strictly for description and not comfort, but i have to agree to disagree. labels are inherently there for your comfort. (e.g. some wlw prefer to simply be called gay instead of lesbian.) finding a label that you identify with can be an important part of being lgbtq+. and in the end, even if there is quite a bit of overlap in mspec identities, the labels that people use are ultimately their business. i am not going to force myself into a label that i don’t feel fits me just because of some online discourse (because, to be quite blunt, 99% of the lgbtq+ discourses are mostly if not completely online. I haven’t seen many be brought up in real life.). 

to be quite honest, the continued hatred of pansexuality only pushes me further into identifying as pan.  with all due respect, you can tear my pansexuality from my cold dead hands. 

ultimately, division between the bi and pan communities only leads to hurt. arguing amongst ourselves not only divides us and distracts from our common enemy, but actively gives our enemy more fuel to hurt us with. arguing amongst the lgbtq+ community gives homophobes and transphobes more examples of our “ridiculousness” to make fun of us with. as someone who goes to a school with lots of homophobes and has heard every homophobic/transphobic insult under the sun in the school hallways, i find the unification of the lgbtq+ community very important. we need to protect each other, not tear each other down. making each other feel invalidated and unwelcome only harms the lgbtq+ community. 

another issue this discourse has brought me to is the need for a new pan flag since the old one was created by someone who has been accused of being lesbophobic. so if and when a new flag comes up, i’ll be excited to see what it looks like! 

i realize that even after this, there will still be many people who disagree with me. and that’s okay! we can agree to disagree. i do it all the time. honestly, as long as people don’t try and force labels on me i’m cool. 

MORE RESOURCES ON PANSEXUALITY:

The Past and Popular Usage of the Term "Pansexual" 

 What Is Pansexuality? 

 defining pansexuality over the years

pansexuality vs bisexuality 

What is Pansexuality? | Definition, History and Pansexuals in Pop Culture 

What Does 'Pansexual' Mean? Behind the Rise of the Word | Time 

Pansexuality 101: It’s More Than ‘Just Another Letter’ 

Hiding in Plain Sight: Why We Need To Pay Attention to Bi/Pan Erasure 

The Difference Between Bisexual & Pansexual Matters Less Than Solidarity Among LGBTQ Folks, Advocates Say 

#i'm only posting this here for convenience lmao #not to be dramatic but if one more person tries to force me to identify as bi i will kick their teeth in #also it seems a bit ridiculous to be arguing about these things when there's a literal gay purge going on in chechnya #and all the problems lgbtq people are facing in poland

[my-darling-boy]

What is ace? I hope asking this isn’t offensive, I’m just honestly curious.

Oooh no worries, it’s not offensive to ask :P I’d be glad to explain!

Ace is short for being asexual, and there are many ways that asexual people interpret and view what being asexual means to them, but asexuality generally means you do not experience sexual feelings for others. However, some use asexuality as a blanket term to describe other orientations in the ace spectrum such as greysexual or demisexual (more on these later). So with that in mind, asexuality is also categorised by those who experience quite inconsistent or unclear sexual feelings. Asexuals may experience forms of attraction, such as romantic, aesthetic, and sensual attraction, but still not feel the need to pursue someone sexually. This is NOT to be confused with sex repulsion; although there are some asexuals who are sex repulsed as well, the two are separate ideas. This is also NOT to be confused with low libido, which is often an argument to discredit asexuality. Having a low libido, the body’s low desire to feel bodily satisfaction, is not the same thing as asexuality, which is, loosely, the mental feeling of having no (or unclear) desire to have sex with someone. Contrary to popular belief, an asexual person can actually have a very high libido and still not experience sexual attraction. Asexuality is also NOT to be confused with being celibate, which is the act of consciously abstaining from having sex.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of hate towards people who identify as ace, both within the LGBT+ community and outside of it. There are even recent accounts of asexuals being driven out of Pride events because they were flying ace flags. You might think a lack of sexual attraction would be cause for people to leave us be, but instead, it draws just as much harassment from LGBT+ people as it does from cishets. Many trans individuals are targeted as well since a higher number of trans people identify as ace. Lots of asexuals sometimes feel unsafe to disclose their asexuality because of situations like this. Seemingly nice people have even abruptly stopped talking to me after I casually mention being ace. And if you are unfamiliar with asexuality as you say, I think it’s important to know that there is a lot of misinformation surrounding asexuality which needs to be taken into consideration if you ever plan on looking more into it. So here’s a bit of some General Info and it’s a bit Longᵀᴹ and I’m by no means a Highly Educated Ace Expert, but this is what I can tell you as best I can!

Some people feel asexuals receive no oppression or hardships at all, and that they don’t deserve a place in the LGBT+ community simply because they lack attraction in that manner. This is not true.

Something asexual people hear, ironically from people who claim to be LGBT+ allies, a lot is: “You just haven’t found the right person yet!” which, surprise, is what lots of other lesbian, gay, bi, etc. people hear. “You just haven’t had sex yet” is an invalid argument since people accept gay men all the time who have never dated men before; those men know they are gay because they feel romantic feelings towards a man before having intercourse with one. Asexuality works in the same fashion. I don’t have to have sex to know if I’m asexual, because the fact I already lack sexual desire, sexual attraction, etc. is already enough to tell.

People who are ignorant towards asexual people will often say that they’re “sick and demented” for having no sexual attraction, since society has been predisposed to think for a very long time that the pinnacle of a relationship is sex, which is untrue. Sex can be a way for a couple to express their love for one another but it is NOT the only way, though society often treats it like it is. Many asexuals, myself included, felt very alone and confused growing up into adulthood as seemingly everyone around them–friends, family, advertisements, films, music, clothing–assured them they were SUPPOSED to be feeling sexual attraction, and they weren’t, and it can make an ace person feel very isolated and yes, mentally ill. I myself thought there was something wrong with me when all of my contemporaries were obsessed with sex and I wasn’t. Even more pressure is put on asexual people when their parents demand children from them, when people make fun of them for seeming “so innocent” for not having sex or, even worse, when partners FORCE them to have sex with them. Asexual people sometimes suffer in relationships where their partner feels sex is vital to being a couple and forces the asexual person into having sex to “convert” them and you guessed it! It’s called rape. If you ever encounter a situation as an ace person where your partner feels that they are entitled to sex with you just because you are in a relationship with them, they do not deserve you, as NO ONE is entitled to your body but you. Allosexual people, the term used to describe anyone who DOES feel consistent sexual attraction, do not often understand how strongly steeped society is in sexual content and how even large corporations capitalise off of perpetuating the idea that sexual attraction is the hallmark of being a human. This massive and widespread idea has led lots of people to believe asexual people are mentally ill and that is COMPLETELY untrue. It is completely normal to have no sexual attraction or very weak/unclear sexual attraction to people. And this is what asexuality means.

Usually, people who are misinformed on asexuality hear the term and think of this completely heartless, emotionless person, and this is also untrue. They can be lovable, bubbly, and sweet! Asexuals are not emotionless: they experience the same levels of emotion as anyone else. ALSO. Asexual people can be romantic! Asexual people can hug AND kiss! Asexual people can masturbate! Asexual people can even have sex and still be asexual! Why? Because it has to do with the fact in all these examples, they still lack sexual desire and/or attraction to the person or object they engage in these activities with. You can like the feeling of sex as an asexual person; what makes you asexual is that you enjoy the feeling of the action versus feeling the actual desire towards the person you’re having it with. However, some people feel this latter fact makes them greysexual, a term used to describe someone who has unclear levels of sexual attraction or simply doesn’t know where to identify on the asexual scale. Some may even feel they are demisexual, a person who feels sexual attraction only after getting to know a person very well or being with someone for a long time. And some people even feel liking sex, without having sexual desire/attraction to the person they have it with, makes them not asexual. Some asexual people do not feel comfortable with kissing, and some love sloppy kisses. Some asexuals love things like very bodily romantic activities (such as what some might refer to as foreplay), and some just prefer holding hands or hugs. Some asexuals masturbate a lot, and some may never feel the want to or do it seldom. Some asexuals experiment with kinks, and some do not. Often, the definition of being asexual, along with its general perception, is often too black and white. You don’t have to hate EVERY bit of physical interaction to be considered asexual because like a lot of sexualities, it’s a sliding scale. And figuring out whether or not your personal preferences regarding romantic relationships makes you ace or not is really completely up to you when determining which term feels more comfortable.

Acephobic people often use the same historic argument that was used against gay men through the decades: that just explaining the sexuality is being inappropriate towards teens, which is also untrue. Acephobic people, after some Mental Gymnastics, believe that asexual people are pushing the idea that teens need to be constantly contemplating sex in order to even figure out if they’re asexual, and therefore, perverted, which is just??? The same kids get taught sex education in school (For instance, I was 10 when we had our first lesson) and some adults object to this because they don’t want their kids to be learning about sex at so young an age. But like school sex ed, or even explaining what being a lesbian means or what being asexual means, it’s being done so educationally, so that when a person is ready to determine something about themselves in regards to sexuality or gender, they have the tools and resources to make an educated self discovery with themselves and how they feel they identify. I can’t tell you how relieved I would have been at 14 for someone to tell me that it was normal to feel no interest in all of the sexual content my friends were obsessed with at the time. Instead, I was made to feel “weird” and was made fun of because I wasn’t infatuated with it like everyone else. It even led me to have so many nights crying, wondering how I was going to ever find someone to love after being taught that ALL my partner would want is sex. Explaining being gay to a 13 year old isn’t trying to force the teen into having thoughts on whether or not they like male sex, it’s simply saying “If you like boys, and you’re a boy, that’s normal!” Asexuality is the same way. It could simply be introduced by saying “If all your friends are getting curious about sex and certain body parts and you don’t feel very interested in that now and ALSO as time goes on, that’s normal!” And this is VERY important for asexual people to know. A lot of kids grow up thinking sex is expected of them, and are more likely to, once adults, be pressured into it and get stuck in relationships they feel abused or uncomfortable in. In a highly-sexulised modern society, it is important anyways to inform younger people it is normal to not be interested in sex and they should not be pressured into feeling like they should be. In fact, there are studies which show asexual people are just as likely to experience corrective rape, dehumanisation, abuse, sexual harassment, and invalidation, as other LGBT+ members and may also experience unique forms of sexual abuse allosexual people, within the LGBT+ community or not, do not endure. Educating people about asexuality is just as important as educating them about being gay or being transgender. It’s giving LGBT+ youth the resources they need to avoid being manipulated, given misinformation, or made to feel lesser and letting them know that who they are, however they eventually identify, is valid. Personally, I find the parents/adults who reject explanations of being asexual are the same parents/adults who ironically perpetuate sexual-normativity charged ideas in their household such as insisting on telling their 13 year old daughter to give them grandchildren, which for those of you who don’t know, usually requires sex. The same sex they don’t want their kids knowing anything about when someone talks about asexuality or being gay. Weird, right? It’s almost like they think anything other than being straight is “dirty” and should not be taught to their children or something. Also, I should note, Stonewall even flies the asexual pride flag (the purple, grey, black, and white). So for those acephobes trying to say asexuals are “fake”, just know the literal Stonewall officially acknowledges asexuality

And for me personally, I am gay, but I’m also asexual. So how does this work? Well, asexual people only have issues with the “sex” part. There’s nothing in it that outlines romantic attraction. I love men and doing romantic things with men, but have no sexual desire/attraction to them. There are asexual individuals who identify as aromantic-asexual. Meaning, in addition to not being interested in sex, they may also not be interested in being romantic. Since I’m gay and ace, I could technically also be referred to as homoromantic-asexual (having romantic feelings for another person of the same gender and ALSO having no sexual feelings towards another). But for ease of wording, I say gay and ace :P But you can say whatever you want! You can be biromantic-asexual! Or Pan and ace!

I should also note that, if you feel you are ace yourself, even though things might seem hopeless or scary with the amount of people spreading lies and hatred, you will find a partner who loves you, if that is something you wish to pursue and are worried will never be a reality. You will find friends who understand you or who are ace or aro as well. You will find people who support you. Your asexuality is not a burden or a disappointment. You are not “boring” or “selfish”. And you deserve every bit of happiness. 

There are more than a few websites and sources about asexuality, but I feel this one provides some short but concise insight into if you would like to know a little more!

Thanks for the ask!

#asks #asexuality #ace #*explains own sexuality* #*worries I explained it wrong* #also I do mention rape so tw #ok to rb I suppose? #acephobes who try to kick up a fuss about this #the bins are out back