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#dan levy has done it again

yurmomsawh0r · 1 year

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Mᴜᴛᴇ ᴘᴛ. 3 - ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴᴀʟᴇ// 18+ MDNI!!!!

Warnings: Physical Abuse, violence, murder, P in V intercourse, Oral (m. Receiving), unprotected sex, squirting, cervix kissing, afab! Mute reader! [Reader suffers from ptsd] Mental abuse. Infidelity, exhibition if you squint.

Geto, Gojo, Nanami, Megumi, Daisuke, Iwaizumi, Uzui, Tanjiro, Levi, Muzan, Itachi, Kaneki, Seshomaru, Ban, Hak

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

♡

There you stood in the silk gown that gracefully fell down your body. Diamond earrings dangling from their hooks and a matching necklace to go along. You could feel the stares and whispers about the how you looked or simply about how Lord h/l/n has chosen a lovely wife for him to parade around.

They were jealous or maybe envious. Either way it didn't matter to your husband. It didn't matter to him because you were his. Nobody else's.

He would show you off for the world to see, but tonight was a special night. He was gonna show a certain someone exactly what he was missing!

°•○

You watched the way your husband conversed with his associates and colleagues. He still held his everyday stoic expression, but conversed amongst them.

Sipping your glass if champagne, you walked around the room admiring the decor the servants displayed throughout the ball room. The insignia of your husband's organization was painted in huge bold lettering on the floor.

Three perfectly lined crystal chandeliers hung, lighting up the room. An assortment of food and sweets was lined on the back wall, as well as a bar placed adjacently agaisnt the corner.

Your skin prickled. Someone was watching you - and you could feel all their exasperation, which you couldn't think of why? You hadn't done anything to anyone. Let alone spoken to them.

Only a select few were graced by your soft and seductive voice - or so, your husband liked to say. You took another sip of your drink trying to take the nerves away.

"Well look at you. All prim and proper, dressing the part." An all to familiar voice spoke from behind you. This voice was definitely something you didn't want to hear ever again.

Fear and dread filled you. Reliving the most traumatic experience you've ever had. As you faced him, you got a good look at what was once the love of your life, but now, you realized how wrong you were. His eyes was sullen and held bags under them. He was alot thinner too and his skin was a sickly pale. He was dying.

You once cared for him sure, but it wasn't love. It never got to blossom into that. Instead it turned into fear. You'd never give him the time of day ever again.

Clearing your throat, you did a quick look around. Your husband was no where in sight, leaving you in an even more distressed state.

He'd never left you alone before and him choosing to not be present anywhere in the room made you mad, and scared. "Your little sugar daddy is occupied." Dan spoke out, noticing your distress.

"You know it's all a lie right you'll never be good enough for him. For anyone. He doesn't fucking love you. Your a pet to be displayed on his arm. That's what everyone is saying anyway-"

"Even though you broke my fuckin heart, I would still take you back y/n, you should just, come back to me." In all reality, Dan knew the truth. He let his jealousy and rage take over. Resulting in him losing the best thing his had. You

You tried finding your voice but you felt it quickly fading. All the work that your husband had put in just to even get you to speak, and you were allowing this man to make you go backwards.

He went to speak again, but one of the servants called for your attention. "Lord h/l/n is requesting your audience ma'am."

Flittering away from the past as quickly as you could, you marched towards his office.

When you arrived, you seen your husband having a glass of whisky with his subordinates, but upon your arrival, they all said their goodbyes, and headed back to the party

"Enjoying yourself dear?" He asked. You gave a stiff nod hoping that he wouldn't notice your distress, but that was impossible. This man knew you better than anyone - better than yourself.

"What's wrong?" Again, you just shook your head. The words failing to leave your lips. By now you were sure he noticed something was wrong with you. He took slow calculated steps towards you until he stopped right in front of you. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you flush against him.

His eyes narrow into slits as he examined you, trying to find anything abnormal. "Why won't you speak?" He racks his brain for a probable cause of what could make you so meek.

Just earlier you were fine, and the only time he'd ever seen you like this was when you first started to speak but was still to scared to voice your concerns and opinions.

The other was when . . . "Was is Dan?" He asked you suddenly. "Tch - of course it was. What did he say to you?"

"N-nothing, he-he just - is it true what they say?"

"What are you talking about?"

The tears you had been holding in began to fall from you freely. "Am I just your pet that you parade around. Like your charity case?"

You know you shouldn't have let Dan's words get to you, but your insecurities were stronger than your will. Its not like you haven't questioned whether or not your husband loved you. Truly loved you.

"Have I ever made you feel like a charity case y/n? - have I ever rushed or forced you to be presented in a way you never liked?" Irritation now laced his voice. You shouldn't feel like this. He shouldn't be the reason you were. You trembled a little, but still said no.

"Exactly. So just because Dan decided to show up does that mean everything I've done for you mean it's a lie?"

Again you responded no. He caressed your face, sliding down his hand down until it gripped your neck.

"Must I show you every time?" He pulled you in for a deep penetrating kiss - one that led to many other things in his office once again.

°•○●°•○●°•○●°○●

"Come in" The door clicked open and footsteps thumped the floorboards under their souls.

"What are you doing here?" H/N asked whomever he was speaking to. He was looking over a few papers before he decided he wanted to head back over to the party. "Nice party your having, but it's sad to see the host is not present."

Dan's voice rang out through the room. He was looking around the place. Trying to find anything valuable that he could take. "When business is booming, sometimes you have to-"

He pauses for a moment. Clearing his throat and adjusting himself before continuing. "- To work when it isn't convenient."

Dan analyzed his former partner. A bead trickling down his forehead and a light tint to his cheeks and his fist kept clenching and unclenching.

"What's up with you?" Dan asked him. He had never seen this man so flustered. The only other expression he seemed to hold was neutral and anger.

"Nothing, what do you want." He proceeded to say. What's wrong is the repetitive stroking of your tongue on his cock (ee I hate this word) what's wrong was the fact he had to hold back just mere seconds from fucking your face and having the best climax in the world.

He was trying to keep his cool but once you started to stroke him with sucking on his balls he couldn't help but sweat. His nails digging in his palms.

"Oh nothing. Came to see an old friend."

You could tell your husband was getting fed up and honestly so were you. "I don't have time for games, get on with your constantly procrastination." He was close - you could tell by the way his balls tightened in your hand.

You go to stroke him again but hesitated with his next choice of words. "How is she? Tired of her yet?" You could hear the smugness in his voice. You could even imagine his stupid little smirk.

You were tired of it - you were tired of him and his constantly bullying bullshit! You've had enough.

A snap of fingers and more footsteps fall into the room. Your husband is stunned to see you rising from your spot beneath his desk. You don't know where you got this courage from, but it felt good. Dan and the guards all had shocked expressions on their faces.

It was you who had snapped for them to come in.

"Take him downstairs so I can finish what we started, and then you can ask him if he's tired of me yet."

Dan's face looked completely taken over. He hadn't heard your voice in years and to hear it now did something to him - meanwhile your husband's dick throbbed even harder with need from thr scene before him.

So he decided to add a little to moment. "Well you her my lady. Take him away" and just like that, Dan was dragged away like the trash he is.

"Now where were we my love?"

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alexzalben · 1 year

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Shadow and Bone Season 2 premieres March 16, 2023 on Netflix

First look images, followed by quotes from Eric Heisserer, Daegan Fryklind, and Leigh Bardugo, as well as a synopsis and more info on Season 2, which I cannot frickin' wait for.

Eric Heisserer and Daegan Fryklind (Co-Showrunners / Executive Producers / Writers) & Leigh Bardugo (Author / Executive Producer) on what fans can expect this season:

HEISSERER: The most wonderful thing about Season Two is that we get to advance the story of these characters that we'd left in precarious positions at the end of Season One. There's a lot of potential for them this season. They have to face the consequences for their actions, and then they get to meet new people along the way. The Grishaverse also expands in this season, both in mythology and in characters. In doing so, we expand the world, we go to new locations, we visit Novyi Zem and Shu Han, and those are all integral to the narrative.

FRYKLIND: We've also really dug into more of the mythology this season in terms of the amplifiers, but also the creator of the amplifiers, Morozova, who he was, what his backstory is, and how he ties into this world. We go out and we go deeper.

BARDUGO: I think the readers now trust our writers the way that I do. This season I was able to step back and put the show more firmly in their hands. I think when we approached Season One, a lot of people were like, "It's impossible. It can't be done. Why would you bring SHADOW AND BONE and SIX OF CROWS together?" And I think now, we have that trust. And I think it's going to be very, very exciting for them to see the way that trust pays off in Season Two. Every part of the Grishaverse is coming into play. We are going to get to see some incredible new characters. We're going to see characters interacting with each other, questing with each other, fighting and laughing with each other, who we never got to see together in the books. And I think that's a unique thing about this show. Readers are not only going to be surprised by the way that these storylines crash into each other, they're never going to know where the next move is coming from—and that actually was a pleasure for me because I got to be surprised by my own stories.

ABOUT THE SERIES

Co-Showrunners / Executive Producers / Writers: Eric Heisserer (Chronology) and Daegan Fryklind

Author and Executive Producer: Leigh Bardugo

Executive Producers: Shawn Levy, Josh Barry, Dan Levine, and Dan Cohen for 21 Laps Entertainment, Pouya Shahbazian (Loom Studios) and Shelley Meals

Directors: Bola Ogun (Episodes 1 & 2), Laura Belsey (Episodes 3 & 4), Karen Gaviola (Episodes 5 & 6) and Mairzee Almas (Episodes 7 & 8)

Season 2 Format: 8 x 1 Hour Episodes

Cast: Jessie Mei Li (Alina Starkov), Archie Renaux (Malyen Oretsev), Freddy Carter (Kaz Brekker), Amita Suman (Inej Ghafa), Kit Young (Jesper Fahey), Danielle Galligan (Nina Zenik), Daisy Head (Genya Safin), Calahan Skogman (Matthias Helvar), Lewis Tan (Tolya Yul-Bataar), Anna Leong Brophy (Tamar Kir-Bataar), Jack Wolfe (Wylan Hendriks), Patrick Gibson (Nikolai Lantsov) and Ben Barnes (General Kirigan)

Synopsis: Alina Starkov is on the run. A beacon of hope to some and a suspected traitor to others, she's determined to bring down the Shadow Fold and save Ravka from ruin. But General Kirigan has returned to finish what he started. Backed by a terrifying new army of seemingly indestructible shadow monsters and fearsome new Grisha recruits, Kirigan is more dangerous than ever. To stand a fighting chance against him, Alina and Mal rally their own powerful new allies and begin a continent-spanning journey to find two mythical creatures that will amplify her powers. Back in Ketterdam, the Crows must forge new alliances as they contend with old rivals and even older grudges that threaten not only their place in the Barrel, but their very lives. When a chance at a deadly heist comes their way, the Crows will once again find themselves on a collision course with the legendary Sun Summoner. Based on Leigh Bardugo's worldwide bestselling Grishaverse novels, SHADOW AND BONE returns for a second season of new friendships, new romance, bigger battles, epic adventures — and a shocking family secret that could shatter everything.

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klbmsw · 2 years

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“Dear Republicans,

You all used to claim to be the party of ‘family values’ but then you elected a man who cheated on all three of his wives and paid a porn star hush money to not tell anyone about their tryst in a hotel room. Then you all had the audacious gall to say he was a ‘Christian’ despite the fact that he never set foot in a church for his entire adult life *and* has committed every deadly sin and broken every commandment.

I remember when you all used to say you support the blue and were the party of ‘law and order’ but then a bunch of you went to our Capitol and began to assault law enforcement and even maiming them. Now you want to sweep that under the rug and act like we didn’t see you doing it or hear the deafening silence from all of you when we all did.

I remember when you all chanted, ‘lock her up’ without specifying what charge you would like her charged with. I sure can imagine what you all would have said if President Obama had a bunch of his closest advisers indicted and he pardoned them! But what happened when it was your man pardoning his cronies and henchman? Nothing but crickets from you all.

We can all imagine what you would have said if President Hillary had appointed Chelsea to work in some official capacity. The howls of nepotistic outrage would have been deafening but your conspicuous silence when Jared and Ivanka were using gmail to conduct government business said that you all didn’t really care about Hillary’s emails, you only cared about setting new levels of hypocrisy the world had never seen before.

You all never shut up about the Clinton Global Initiative and how it did something illegal that you heard about somewhere but can never say exactly what was done. *THEN* you get to see the Trump Foundation get dissolved after it was proven in court that it had stolen money that *you* donated for veterans *and* children’s cancer and again, you said absolutely nothing but you did nod your heads in agreement that it was ‘political.’

Was the Trump University dissolution also political? Because if it was, why did Trump pay the $25 million fine levied against it? Did you even listen to the testimonials from the people who sued Trump for fraud? Do you think they were Democrats? They weren’t, they were Republicans.

I don’t know how to put this very gently but what the rest of the planet knows is that you were bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray and basically conned by a conman. The sooner you sober up to that immutable fact, the sooner we might pull you out of that cult that you’ve transmogrified into.

You elected a crook who ran a criminal organization. Of course it’s going to be hard to ever admit that because like I said before, you all aren’t known for changing your minds about anything even when presented with overwhelming evidence.

I know this is going to be a hard pill to swallow because there were 75 million of you who thought he should be president again and the 81 million of us who made Joe Biden president are truly horrified that you would yet again attempt to suicide our democracy out of some sense of sheer petulance.

Just once I wish one of you who says, ‘there were a lot of irregularities in the election’ would actually say aloud what they actually are because I pay attention to this stuff as do a lot of journalist who would like nothing better than to win a prestigious Pulitzer Prize by proving there was some manner of fraud but of course, there was none except by people in your party doing it. All of the convictions for voter fraud in 2020 have been Republicans, all of them.

Dan Patrick offered a $1 million reward for evidence of election fraud and nobody collected but that hasn’t stopped you all from lying about it has it? Hillary conceded the day after the election and Trump is still telling the lie that the election was stolen even in the states where Republicans are in charge of the election. So you don’t like those terms either.

If you can’t win a free and fair election where you do everything you possibly can to keep black people from voting, then just give up on elections huh? That’s the prevalent attitude amongst your gerrymandered politicians. Can’t you all win in a contest of ideas if your’s are so much better?

Ah, there’s the rub. You can’t can you?

Hate doesn’t seem to flourish as much among the kids coming of voter age now does it? Tucker might pull in the 55-65 demographic on Fox but that ‘the NSA is spying on me’ nonsense doesn’t sit too well with them youngins does it?

I guess you all aren’t for the ‘free market’ of ideas anymore since you’ve lost the likes of George Will, Steve Schmidt, Rick Wilson and Nicole Wallace. Now you have Marjorie Potater Greene and Lauren Boebert as your ‘brain trust’ and that’s nothing to be proud of except at the klan rallies that have spewed ‘America First’ for over a hundred years now.

You’re a party that embraces racists,

defends child-traffickers and tried to overthrow an election you lost. That treason isn’t lost on any of us and no matter how hard you try to sweep that under the rug or bury it with your endless lies, we all know what you did. The most troubling thing about all of this is that none of it was a deal-breaker for you.

You were more than willing to sit by as those traitorous insurrectionist tried to murder our elected representatives to overthrow our government so you could do what? Make Trump dictator or king?

And you all have the unmitigated temerity to call yourselves ‘patriots’?

You’re not patriots, you’re traitors to every principle this country was founded upon.

The actual patriots of this land see you for who you are and we will never surrender to the brainwashed cult you’ve become.”

- Thomas Clay Jr

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kilfeur · 23 days

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Quelque chose qui est différent entre le final de la saison 1 et celui de la saison 2. C'est que le final de la saison 2 est personnel pour Mark, Mark se retrouve à gérer plusieurs choses dans cette saison : ses études, sa vie amoureuse, sa vie de super héros et sa vie de famille. Il encaisse encore et encore ne sachant pas comment expliquer ce qu'il ressent. Et de l'autre je peux le comprendre. Comment est ce qu'on arriverait à mettre un mot sur ce qu'il traverse ?

Levy est le catalyseur, la scène où il le reconnait me fait penser à TASM 2, où Spiderman ne reconnaît pas Electro. Mais quand il se souvient qui il est, il essaie de l'aider avant qu'Electro se retourne contre lui. En revanche Levi a arboré une telle haine envers Mark que ça le perturbe de le voir être un héros et non un méchant. Ça le rend aveugle et refuse d'écouter Debbie croyant fermement qu'il a raison. Et quand à Mark, le nombre de fois où il est envoyé dans les dimensions. Ça ne fait que monter et monter même en essayant de le dissuader de s'en prendre à sa famille, ça ne marche pas. On arrive à la scène où il le passe à tabac et c'est là où il craque qui fait parallèle à Nolan quand il le tabasse. Mais la différence c'est que quand il se rend compte de ce qu'il a fait, ça le brise mentalement. Nolan en revanche, ne comprend pas pourquoi il ressent ses émotions.

Le pire dans tout ça, c'est que Mark va s'isoler, il abandonne ses études pour se focaliser sur le fait d'être un héros. Cecil aura beau lui dire qu'il a fait ce qu'il devait faire, ça va le hanter et le peser dans sa conscience. Donc je suis curieuse de voir comment la saison 3 va gérer ça pour lui.

Something that's different between the season 1 finale and the season 2 finale. The season 2 finale is personal for Mark, who finds himself managing several things in this season: his studies, his love life, his superhero life and his family life. He takes it again and again, not knowing how to explain how he feels. And on the other hand, I can understand him. How can you put into words what he's going through?

Levy is the catalyst, the scene where he recognize him reminds me of TASM 2, where Spiderman doesn't recognize Electro. But when he remembers who he is, he tries to help him before Electro turns against him. Levi, on the other hand, has displayed such hatred for Mark that it disturbs him to see him as a hero and not a villain. It makes him blind and refuse to listen to Debbie, firmly believing he's right. And as for Mark, the number of times he's sent into dimensions. It just escalates and escalates, and even trying to dissuade him from attacking his family doesn't work. We get to the scene where he beats him up, and that's where he breaks down, which parallels Nolan when he beats him up. But the difference is that when he realizes what he's done, it breaks him mentally. Nolan, on the other hand, doesn't understand why he feels the way he does.

Worst of all, Mark isolates himself, abandoning his studies to focus on being a hero. No matter how much Cecil tells him he's done what he's supposed to do, it's going to haunt him and weigh on his conscience. So I'm curious to see how season 3 will handle this for him.

#invincible #invincible analysis #analysis #invincible spoilers #mark grayson #angstrom levy

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monsooninn · 20 days

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Berakhot 7b: 2. "The Words of Leah."

Daniel means "to govern after the Superior Being", From the verb דין (din) means to judge or govern. It's an old verb that mostly describes the authority of a naturally superior (because that person is wiser, stronger, older, etcetera) in contrast to the governing done by a formal government (by politically favored and appointed officials).

The noun דין (dayyan) describes one such a leader, and noun דין (din) describes anything pertaining to primitive governing: a judgment, plea, complaint, contention.

Noun מדון (madon) literally describes a "place or judging" and is synonymous with the contending that goes on in such a place. Noun מדונה (medina) described the jurisdiction of one judge, and became the word for province.

The Torah emphasizes that the roles of God, man, religion, and government fit like the engine of a car with all of its parts fit under the hood.

As the Mishnah says, Daniel or Dan came into the Torah as a result of Leah's words. Leah means "leading woman". In Torah terminology, women are the creators of patterns. A leading woman without the ability to create new patterns is anathema to how its logic works. If we combine the words in Hebrew this is what we find:

Leah (the leader) plus Jacob (the follower) produces Reuben Simon Judah Rachel Dan., "Shabbat follows leaders with good reputations who glorify God by formally governing the people."

The Great Flood represents a time before we abided by the tenets of formal government. The beaching of the Ark on Ararat establishes the curse of animal man, intense competition resolved by violence will need to give way to voluntary citizenship within formalized systems of government. A properly translated Torah will reveal this was God's real intention through the story of the Flood and the Great Ark.

This is emphasized in Leah's Words, from Vayetzei:

Jacob’s Children 31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. 32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben [the leader],[g] for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” 33 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon [of good repute].[h] 34 Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi [unity].[i] 35 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah [praise].[j] Then she stopped having children. 30 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” 2 Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 3 Then she said, “Here is Bilhah [the drop, the trickle], my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 4 So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, 5 and she became pregnant and bore him a son. 6 Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan [to govern] .[k]

2. Rabbi said: We did not answer Daniel except for the sake of Abraham, who said: "And now our God hear the prayer of your servant and his supplications and let your face shine upon your holy temple For my Lord's sake, "for your sake" from Leah's words.

The Superior Being said: We did not answer the Governor except for the sake of great compassion, who said: "And now our God hear the prayer of your servant and his supplications and let your face shine upon your holy temple For my Lord's sake, "for your sake" from Leah's "the leading woman's" words.

For the sake of compassion and the supplication of the people, for their sake and God's, lead the people.

The Value in Gematria is 12500, יבך‎, "And for the sake of your heart."

The world is being subjected to the pretense real government is not possible when in fact when we want to do it we are quite good at it. We are breaking our own hearts by allowing all this diarrhea about Jesus, the Bible, gay sex, gay sensibilities, abortions, marriage, and science interfere with following through on the real reasons God told mankind to organize and participate in government.

The church and the state are supposed to partner in buoying mankind not use each other to raze the world. The Mishnah Torah states there is to be little filtration between the Grace of God and its delivery to the people by the government. Further there are secular laws that prohibit abuses by the church or the state that protect service delivery. It is a near perfect system that only requires a willingness to make it all work.

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reginadeinisseni · 7 months

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GLI EBREI SONO SEMPRE STATI UN POPOLO DIVISIVO

LE 12 TRIBU' IN CUI ERANO DIVISE SI FACEVANO SEMPRE GUERRA TRA LORO

Ruben, il primogenito, il cui nome significa guarda: un figlio (maschio)!, derivante anche dalla radice di Gevurah. Era figlio di Lia. Simeone, secondogenito, figlio di Lia. Il suo nome significa YHWH mi ha udito. Levi, terzo figlio di Lia. Mi si affezionerà significa, sperando Lia, in un avvicinamento di Giacobbe. Ma lui amava di più Rachele, sua sorella. Giuda, quarto figlio di Lia, chiamato "giovane leone". Significa loderò YHWH. Dan, figlio di Bilhah, un'ancella di Rachele, poiché questa sembrava non poter avere figli. Significa YHWH mi ha fatto giustizia. Neftali, altro figlio di Bilhah: rivalità tra sorelle. Gad, figlio di Zilpah, ancella di Lia che gridò per fortuna! Aser, secondo figlio di Zilpah: così mi diranno felice! Issachar, concepito da Lia in un giorno in cui Giacobbe avrebbe dovuto appartarsi con Rachele. Dio mi ha dato il mio salario, per avere io dato la mia schiava a mio marito. Zabulon, ancora Lia: Dio mi ha fatto un bel regalo: questa volta mio marito mi preferirà, perché gli ho partorito sei figli. Dopo Zabulon Lia ebbe anche una figlia: Dina. Giuseppe, Dio ha tolto il mio disonore, disse Rachele, al primo figlio. Beniamino, secondo e ultimo figlio di Rachele. Non temere, disse lei, prima di morire. Il nome, in semitico, significa figlio della mia mano destra, capo, o reggitore del Sud (il sud sta a destra, nella geografia semita, guardando verso Gerusalemme da occidente verso oriente, ma dal Qodesh haQodashim si guarda verso occidente). A questa prima struttura tribale ne succedette un'altra, in cui appaiono Efraim e Manasse, citati come figli di Giuseppe, ma adottati da Giacobbe. Queste due tribù furono a capo del Regno di Israele, nato nella parte nord del Regno di Davide dopo la morte di Salomone.

THE JEWS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A DIVISIVE PEOPLE

THE 12 TRIBES INTO WHICH THEY WERE DIVIDED WERE ALWAYS Waging WAR WITH EACH OTHER

Reuben, the firstborn, whose name means look: a (male) son!, also deriving from the root of Gevurah. He was the son of Lia. Simeon, second son, son of Leah. His name means YHWH he heard me. Levi, third son of Leah. He will become fond of me means, hoping for Lia, in Jacob's approach. But he loved Rachele, his sister, more. Judah, fourth son of Leah, called "young lion". It means I will praise YHWH. Dan, son of Bilhah, a handmaid of Rachel, for she this she seemed unable to bear children. It means YHWH has done me justice. Naphtali, another son of Bilhah: rivalry between sisters. Gad, son of Zilpah, Leah's handmaid who cried out for luck! Asher, second son of Zilpah: so they will call me happy! Issachar, conceived by Leah on a day when Jacob should have secluded himself with Rachel. God gave me my wages, for having given my slave to my husband. Zebulon, Leah again: God has given me a beautiful gift: this time my husband will prefer me, because I have given birth to him six children. After Zebulun Leah also had a daughter: Dinah. Joseph, God has taken away my dishonor, said Rachel, to her first son. Benjamin, Rachel's second and last son. Don't be afraid, she said, before she died. The name, in Semitic, means son of my right hand, leader, or ruler of the South (the south is on the right, in Semitic geography, looking towards Jerusalem from the west towards the east, but from Qodesh haQodashim you look towards the west). This first tribal structure was succeeded by another, in which Ephraim and Manasseh appear, cited as sons of Joseph, but adopted by Jacob. These two tribes were at the head of the Kingdom of Israel, born in the northern part of the Kingdom of David after the death of Solomon.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ #gustavopetro #colombia #DONALDTRUMP #TRUMP #BOLSONARO #DORIGHEZZI #STRISCIALANOTIZIA #FRANCESCO #RUTELLI #PROPAGANDALIVE #ELUANA #ENGLARO #ELUANAENGLARO #CRISTIANODEANDRE #twitter #facebook #skyrock #linkedin #instagram #okru #tiktok

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flowerfan2 · 1 year

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I posted 600 times in 2022

25 posts created (4%)

575 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@flowerfan2

@kedreeva

@steverogersnotebook

@pterawaters

@dietraumerei

I tagged 221 of my posts in 2022

#ofmd - 40 posts

#our flag means death - 37 posts

#patrick brewer - 22 posts

#david rose - 22 posts

#david x patrick - 22 posts

#schitt's creek - 21 posts

#dan levy - 19 posts

#schitt's creek fic - 16 posts

#reblog - 14 posts

#noah reid - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 103 characters

#i didn’t even realize this post was from a darren fan but my mind went instantly to darren’s italy film

My Top Posts in 2022:

My friend @sunlightsymphony has made a beautiful podfic of Lonesome Road - it’s a joy to listen to. This angsty Zimbits fic with a happy ending is one of my favorites. I wrote it for the Heartbreak Fest in 2017, so please note the tags/tw. Enjoy the podfic, it’s amazing!

Summary: After rehab, Jack leaves home, unable to face his parents and the legacy he failed to uphold. He gets work as a truck driver and enjoys the relative solitude of it for a few years, until the day he picks up a hitch-hiking runaway from Georgia.

22 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

I’m not sure if anyone is still following me for SC content, but my new story is now posting on A03! Chapter 1 is here - I’ll be posting every other day or so, and will post again on Tumblr when it is complete. You can read the first story in the series here: One Night in Milwaukee. Please reblog and spread the love, and thank you for reading!

Summary: Patrick is hiding something from David, and if he’s being honest, David’s hiding something too. It’s making them both miserable. When Marcy asks them to go to the Brewers’ house in Florida as a favor, David agrees. Maybe a week in the sunshine will help them find their way back to each other.

22 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

Lighthouse Tavern

I couldn’t help myself - here’s my take on the inevitable Ed/Stede post-Season 1 reunion. Read on A03 here. And please reblog and spread the love!

⚓️

It’s a slow night in the bar. Ed occupies himself drying glasses and giving the ever-sticky counter another half-hearted swipe. He wishes the group of increasingly drunk regulars in the back would leave already, so that he could go home and be done with his day. Although he’ll just have to get up the next morning and do the same thing over again, so it really doesn’t make much difference.

It’s been almost two years since he was shipwrecked off the coast of this small Caribbean island north of Barbados. Ed’s bar is a simple place, not infamous like Spanish Jackie’s, but appreciated by the fishermen who stop by to forget their troubles. He doesn’t water the liquor - much - and he doesn’t try to give advice. He just serves drinks.

Ed doesn’t see many of the people he used to know. Izzy disappeared after the shipwreck, and most of the crew members that survived didn’t want anything to do with Ed. It was just as well, Ed had realized quickly, because he didn’t have to try to be anything anymore - not what Izzy wanted, not what Stede’s crew wanted, nothing. He could just be Ed, a guy who wanted to run a bar.

Of course that was a joke too. Running a bar wasn’t particularly interesting, or fun. Not by himself.

He limps out from behind the bar and begins wiping down the tables, hoping that the group in the back will take the hint. His knee is hurting more than usual tonight. He had banged it up good during the shipwreck, turning what was already a bum knee into a permanent problem. Even more reason to close up and get home before the wind picks up.

Finally the last patrons leave, the least wrecked of them tossing a tip on the table and giving Ed a sloppy wave goodbye. Ed picks up the coins and their beer glasses, retreating behind the bar once more to close out the till.

After he finishes, he quickly glances around to be sure no one else is hiding in a side booth or passed out under a table, and then withdraws a teacup from a hidden cabinet. It is a dainty thing, adorned with faded pink roses on the outside and a thin gold band along the rim. Ed sets it in front of him on the counter as he makes the tea, then adds a small amount of sugar and raises the cup to his lips, holding his pinky finger out just so as he had seen Stede do.

Ed doesn’t hate himself anymore, not like he used to. His anger at himself and at Stede has long burned out, in the months after he learned of Stede’s death. He likes to think this nightly ritual is an appropriate way of honoring Stede’s memory, one that his friend would have appreciated.

He’s not sure that Stede would approve of the Lighthouse Tavern. It’s got crooked floors and mismatched bar stools and a distinct lack of fine fabrics. Ed’s place is a far cry from the place they had laughed about, Blackbeard’s Bar and Grill with its delicacies and gift shop. Ed couldn’t bear to name it that, and anyway, Blackbeard is long gone. But this place is safe, and it’s his, and Ed can at least live out his days here without engaging in yet more violence and mayhem. If it isn’t exactly what his heart desires, well, he had his chance, and he let it get away from him.

Ed used to wonder why Stede didn’t show up that night, whether he had pushed too hard, or whether Stede decided that the neutered version of Blackbeard that Ed had become wasn’t interesting enough for him. When he was being honest with himself, he knew it wasn’t the latter. In their last conversation on the beach, Stede was happy, Ed was sure of it. Ed knew Stede wasn’t lying when he said that Ed made him happy.

If Stede had then simply gotten scared, scared of committing to a new life with Ed as his unexpected, socially unacceptable partner, well, Ed could understand that. He could forgive it, even, and he had, although not soon enough.

He still can’t help think about what he might have done instead of fleeing to the <i>Revenge</i> and letting the kraken emerge. He might have gone to look for Stede, figured out where he had gone. What would have happened if he had shown up at Stede’s house? Would Mary have invited him in for a cup of tea, served in delicate china trimmed in gold? Would Stede have sat outside with him as the stars came out, explaining what had gone wrong? Would Ed have been able to change his mind about giving up a life with him?

In his long list of regrets, that’s the one that tops them all - that he didn’t go after Stede.

Shaking his head, he finishes his tea and gives the cup a wash, then sets it carefully inside the cabinet. He doesn’t even have a proper saucer to go with it, or a teaspoon. But it’s enough to give him a taste of the pageantry that Stede so sweetly taught him. He smiles, remembering the light and mischief he loved in Stede’s eyes.

Ed is startled by the sound of the door, and curses to himself as he realizes that he forgot to lock it closed. He quickly checks to make sure his gun is within reach as Jim enters and strides over to the bar.

Jim had shown up here six months ago, mad as hell at Ed until Ed happened to mention that he had a lead on where Jim could find Oluwande and the rest of the pirates Ed had left stranded on a tiny island. The fact that Jim hasn’t yet stabbed Ed gives Ed some reassurance that his lead panned out.

“Something to drink, mate?” Ed asks, already placing a heavy whiskey glass on the counter. Jim is soaked through from the rain battering down outside, and Ed is tempted to offer a mug of hot chocolate instead. But Jim might still try to kill him, and he’s not inclined to make nice just yet.

Jim sets their hat down on the counter and nods towards a bottle. “That’ll do.” They drink down the liquid and lean back, fixing Ed with a steady gaze.

“Any luck?”

They both know what Ed is talking about.

“Yup.” A smile flashes quickly across Jim’s face, hidden almost before Ed can see it.

He doesn’t press. He doesn’t need to know where Olu is now, or the details of Jim’s life with him. But he’s glad that they found each other. They didn’t deserve to be caught in the wake of Ed’s self-loathing.

Jim finishes their drink but doesn’t leave, and the hairs on the back of Ed’s neck bristle.

“You still living in that little shithole house on the cliff?” Jim asks.

“Fucking rude.” At least with Jim he doesn’t have to try to interpret any passive aggression. Just pure aggression. “And yes.” The moment stretches, and Jim just stares at him, then lets their gaze wander to the door. “Something else you wanted to say?”

Jim appears to consider this for a long moment, then shakes their head. “No.” They put their hat back on, nod curtly at Ed, and leave, their long coat still dripping rainwater.

Ed sighs. He’s not surprised - never thought that Jim could be a friend, not after everything he did. Okay, maybe he’s a little disappointed that they didn’t at least stay for a few more minutes. But being alone is nothing new. He’s used to it.

See the full post

27 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

56 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.

Gloria Steinem

84 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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patrckbrewer · 2 years

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but like u don’t even write smut tho so what’s the issue

listen i contemplated being nice but nah fuck it.

it doesn’t fucking matter if i write smut or not. what matters is that this shit is for fans and dan levy and noah reid (and every other actor/creator whose work has fanworks) are not fucking fans

i would highly recommend reading this post by @dinnfameron but i want to highlight this section specifically

schitt’s creek is dan levy’s intellectual property (IP) he owns it and he has the rights to do what he wants with it. fanfiction is technically considered fair use but it’s a tricky grey area. because the fact of the matter is that we do not fucking own these characters and if the person who does says “okay we’re done with this” then guess fucking what? no more schitt’s creek fanworks

i don’t know how old you are anon or how long you’ve existed in fandom spaces but i suggest you read up on the history of fanfiction. if you jump to the legality section, you’ll see a few very notable things:

1) in 2003 JKR and warner bros sent cease and desists to people who wrote and published harry potter fics with ✨adult✨ content and essentially forced them to delete any smutty harry potter content.

2) anne rice was so violently against fanfiction that there was next to zero interview with a vampire fics online because she would hit them with lawsuits. in the days following her death, ao3 was flooded with fics dating back 20+ years

3) george r.r. martin has said that he believes fanfiction is copyright infringement and a bad exercise for aspiring writers

you know what things like what happened with JKR and anne rice bringing lawsuits against their fans? it led to people being so terrified of being sued that they were putting disclaimers on their stories that they don’t own the characters and a lot ended with “(creator) please don’t sue”

the fact remains that these aren’t our characters, we have no legal claim to them, and we can only continue to create because dan allows it. he doesn’t seem the type to pull a JKR or anne rice, but it is his legal right should he choose to do so

i don’t give two shits if you think saying the actors should read a certain fanwork is a compliment because it’s fucking not. it doesn’t matter if it’s a short and fluffy drabble, a novel length epic, or a hardcore kink PWP.

it is not fucking for them. it is for us. do not fucking show it to them or even joke about it because that’s how you get people nuking their works and never fucking creating again. stop being fucking freaks and learn the fucking history

#asks #anon #feel free to reblog this #i’m fucking sick of this

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girlblocker · 2 years

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Notes on Shawn Levy’s Night at the Museum 3 Director’s Commentary

I had a difficult time getting this one because it’s only on the Blu-ray edition of the DVD. Oops.

Once again, Levy and Stiller waited until they had a good story to make a good movie. There was years of development on the script. The desert was filmed somewhere in Canada. Set was built. They worked to combine practical effects and real locations with special effects. Levy describes his pasts with some of the actors from intro scenes.

Museum beginning: Levy discussing the visual effects work in the museum and how prep for comedy movies DOES have to stay fluid because of ideas that would happen on day of filming.

The Jedediah and Octavius watching cat scene was in early drafts, the idea of Jed & Oct interacting with contemporary technology was funny to Levy. It took Levy three movies to realize that the magic of Jed & Octavius was the chemistry of Coogan & Wilson. There are no close ups of Jed or Oct in this movie bc Levy says the magic is in the two of them together, except during the tripping guests scene.

He discusses Robin Williams, how warm and funny he was and how devoted he was to what he did. The Laaa scenes were done by moving the camera and not ‘cheating’ with over the shoulder shots, bonus featurette on it. Levy says he thinks the extras on this disk are very cool.

Levy talks about the CGI and mentions that it is a digital monkey doing the performance stunts. Williams did the Teddy glitches himself. Levy loved how Wilson was always committed to the ‘maniacal ferocity of this little cowboy’, hes never asked him to beef up his energy for Jedediah. He discusses the surreality/absurdism in movies. In the scene of Laaa imitating Larry, Levy would play Laaa during first during first take, then Stiller would imitate Levy as Laaa.

Levy discusses Nicky, how Nicky anchors the surreal events of the movie in the father-son relationship. They made a conscious decision to return to the family themes from the first movie for NATM3. The movie has themes of letting go, but they were also saying goodbye to the franchise (not planning on natm4). He talks about the filming in New York and the support from the institution of the real-life Museum of Natural History. The archive scene was filmed in actual museum archives. Andrea Martin suggested the goofy wig and glasses.

The old guards add to the movie. Rooney died a few months after filming natm3 and Levy knew he’d have to do it in wheelchair, liked the idea of him being in the wheelchair but still wanting to pick a fight. Levy complements van Dyke’s performance here as more than just a comedy actor.

The Larry/McPhee scenes take a long time to film, they improvise a lot there and there is extended features. Levy discusses allowing for others’ ideas and surprises as a director. They filmed in London for a week, the British Museum allowed them access.

Rebel Wilson was his first and only idea for Tilly (Levy’s daughters are fans), and he wanted a similar vibe to the Brundon scene in natm2 with a young, offbeat guard. She’s amazing as improviser as well. Levy couldn’t film the McPhee scene where they wanted to due to snow and had to walk around looking for a location.

Often with Ben, they will do a few takes and often ask for one more take not knowing what they will do, just to explore. Improvization requires a good script. Stiller is reactive, committed to Laaa. The Laaa/Larry imitation scene by the door was complicated to film. The ‘stay’ motif for Laaa evolved from when Ben got into character at the makeup text.

He talks about the visual effects of Marbles of the Parthenon. Levy fought the budget for the animal heads on the wall. Levy was once again playing off camera characters not yet CGI-ed and doing the sounds himself. While choreographing the fight scene, stunt guys would just make up a battle with wooden swords. Dan Stevens auditioned, Levy didn’t know who he was, then auditioned with Ben Stiller, which went so well he immediately got the part. Lancelot did a Ben Stiller imitation for Erik. These movies make a lot of references & jokes Levy knows a lot of people won’t get. Ahkmenrah’s ‘scarabs in the sinai’ joke was scripted, ‘too dark?’ was suggested by Levy.

People respond to the subjectivity of the little guys (Jed & Oct), reccuring joke of showing close shot of them and then wide shot showing how small/insignificant what is happening around them is. They shoot the whole movie and then Coogan and Wilson show up for a week at the end of the filming. Levy would have to give story to Coogan and Wilson of what had just happened like ‘oh, you’re in a ventilation shaft, you’re embarrassed because you asked to hold his hand’, and then the three of them would brainstorm.

Next scene was shot in the actual museum at three in the morning, walking past priceless antiquities. The British museum sent Levy suggestions of things it might be fun to bring to life. Levy says Pompeii became a central sequence in the movie and marketing. Pompeii was all greenscreen. Levy saw Geruda in the museum and liked it, Robin Williams voiced it.

Stiller improvised the joke about Nicky not having finished his Bar Mitzvah notes, liked the tonal juxtaposition between talking about writing Bar Mitzvah notes while talking about mythical snake demon. Editing the Xianglu scene was difficult, so much going on: tablet corroding, exhibits glitching, Lancelot fighting, Xianglu waking. In the script, Pompeii and Xianglu were separate, but Levy decided to intercut them. Ben Stiller did not use wires jumping onto Xianglu with defibrillator. He used an Olympic trampoline. Wilson improvised ‘that wasn’t necessary’ after the Dexter piss scene. They built an actual oversized iPhone for the Jedediah and Octavius selfie.

Levy describes Williams as amazing, both comedically and in drama. He made an effort to cast every role as someone good. Some adult-toned humor. All the shots of the tablet corroding was digital. “Ben Stiller is a great runner.” Lancelot reveal casting shadow over tablet.

Levy describes Octavius’ ‘his eyes are very blue’ line as the “first of several very edgy improvs by Octavius, who is in some way attracted to Lancelot.” Many scenes where Owen Wilson and Coogan would try stuff, and his “weird man-crush on Lancelot became a bit of a runner”. Levy’s quotes, not mine.

The sequence in the painting was complicated because of the multiple gravity scenes using real actors. Levy used to be terrified of complicated films, turned down NATM multiple times. “If a movie isn’t a little bit scary to you, you probably shouldn’t do it.”

The Tilly, Laaa, Larry scene was shot outside of real British Museum. Scene of Larry talking in “hyper-therapized” lingo to a Neanderthal, funny because of surreality of man therapizing himself through doppelganger who doesnt understand what he’s saying. Atilla’s freakout was all improvized. The Trafalgar Square lions scene was rainy but allowed them to make the lions more textural. Stiller doesn’t blink at all as Laaa in the Tilly scene. Camelot was shot at exterior of a real theater.

Hugh Jackman cameo, Jackman did not ask to see the script or anything, just agreed. Stiller had “Huge Ackman” joke. Audience was edited in after. “No matter what complex, challenging work we do, kids think of it as ‘the movie with the monkey’”. Levy thought of the image on the bus early on, first movies never explored the exhibits in the real world. The kids on the bus are Ben Stiller’s kids. Jackman’s involvement in movie was kept secret until opening.

The roof was a set on Vancouver, didn’t know how the melted nose scene would play. Usually the third act is the big battle, other versions of the script where there was a fight between Larry and Lancelot, but ultimately Levy felt that there was no lack of setpieces, and instead chose to go with the rooftop scene.

Lancelot struggling with the fact that he’s not real, doesn’t even exist, relation to the idea of letting go. Lancelot of letting go of him not being real, Larry letting go of his son as a kid, his museum family, the exhibits faring very badly. Levy did vocals as Dexter was dying. People appreciated the emotionality of final film as much as the comedy. Levy likes the image of solitude of Lancelot after he gives tablet back.

Levy says these comedies won’t get cited for the artistry, family films are treated dismissively in terms of recognition of the craftsmanship. He talks about how they were filming goodbyes to museum family while saying goodbye for real. Rebel & Stiller committing to forbidden love between Tilly & Laaa. Had to send hair person to pharmacy to get more scrunchies for Laaa’s hair.

Callback to instruction manual from first movie. Gallagher (Atilla) came up with the ‘my friend’ line. In Stiller’s monologue to Dexter, Crystal put her hand on Stiller’s arm without being instructed. Stiller improvised the post-kiss “yeah, i felt that was there” and follow up kiss. Emotional scene between Teddy and Larry was scripted. On general themes, Levy talks about the romanticism of museums and of New York. Some versions of films ended with Larry walking away from the museum (without the scene of the tablet returning on tour), but audiences wouldn’t accept the exhibits not coming back. They craved the magic continuing.

Levy believed this was the final chapter of this franchise. The song “to be real” seems fitting lyrically, McPhee witnessing that the magic is real. Levy played the music loud, had everyone dance, leaving the franchise on celebratory note. The characters are living beyond franchise into infinite possibility and future. Scripted dialogue jokes at the end of Lancelot. Final ending echoes shot from the first movie but with Larry outside. Levy knew Larry wouldn’t go inside the museum, but wanted the audience to see he knows the magic continues. Owen and Coogan were on ‘weird greenscreen turning table’ on record scene.

Overall, this commentary was good like the previous ones. Additional bonus features also go into detail about the specifics of some filming, like a feature about Laaa and how the scene in the painting was filmed. I was again impressed at the descriptions of how much in this movie was improvised. A lot of the themes of it being a goodbye are less interesting now given the production of Night at the Museum 4.

#night at the museum #natm #natmposting #flop era post #shawn levy

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ratchet · 3 years

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ya girl has had the last week off work and may have gone a little overboard dragging out all the mostly finished wips lurking around in the google docs and just shoving them all onto ao3 within days of each other.

IN ORDER OF POSTING:

like family would

[david/patrick, rated T, 3938 words]

Patrick has literally never been sick in their entire four year relationship, is the thing. Barely a sniffle or a sore throat or a summer cold to speak of. His apparently impeccable immune system had unnerved David, who suffered with winter colds and summer allergies that could be scheduled like clockwork. He’d become so adept at managing his own ill health each time it rolled round that he’d felt weirdly put out that Patrick had never needed his expertise. But now Patrick is sick, and David feels a little at a loss of how to help him.

----

or: Patrick gets the flu. David learns a new definition of family.

you want some soft post canon hurt/comfort? competent!david? unexpected mom feels from jocelyn? big community/found family feels? then THIS, my friends, is the fic for you.

caught in the slightest wind

[david/patrick, rated E, 2878 words]

Patrick hums thoughtfully.

“You’ve jerked off during a storm before, haven’t you.”

David waits too long to be able to respond with anything but the truth. Another flash of lightning accompanies his answer.

“The energy is just really good, Patrick.”

turns out david gets off to thunderstorms. patrick fulfils his husbandly duties and takes full advantage of it when a winter storm hits. idk man, it’s just 3k of solid pwp with bonus thunder and lightning.

oh dear, the biggest of all fears

[david/stevie, rated E, 3242 words]

It's not jealousy he's feeling. Absolutely not. There's nothing to be jealous of. They're friends. Just friends. Who fuck, occasionally. Nothing more. He doesn't want anything more. More involves putting down roots, investing time, feelings. He doesn’t have the emotional collateral for that.

-----

or: s01e10.5 - david what on earth is going on in that little head of yours, huh?

david catches some canon-compliant feels (hey, just bc dan levy didn’t feel the need to make it explicitly clear doesn’t mean it didn’t happen) during the period he and stevie are sleeping together. it’s just a shame he’s not sufficiently equipped to deal with those feelings just yet.

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OH AND!

i wrote the olive branch edition of the it just felt right to me in the moment series of season four i love you aus with a bunch of dear pals of mine.

all the fear and the fire of the end of the world

[david/patrick (obvs), rated T, 4153 words]

He can do this. He can love Patrick and not tell him and live with that. Alexis has done it, she’s living her life knowing she’s in love with Ted and not telling him that and just accepting that for herself. Alexis is managing it. If Alexis can manage it then David can manage it. David needs to be able to manage it. Patrick wants to focus on the business and David needs to do that, for Patrick. Because he loves Patrick. And perhaps loving Patrick can just look like this, for now. Doing what Patrick needs him to do and being what Patrick needs him to be. David took his week-long selfish and he figures it's time to be selfless. For Patrick.

or: the olive branch but make it worse before it gets better again.

im really tired now and you won’t see me til summer break hits ✌ please go forth and read, i’d really appreciate it 😂

#fic dump BABYYY #it's not gonna show up in tags bc of all the links so fuck it #em ratchet #that'll do

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Top 12 Christmas Episodes!

Merry Christmas Eve Everybody! We’ve reached the end of my christmas reivews and what not on this blog.

But as a wise barrel chested canadian man once said, I fucking love christmas, So if i’m finishing up the holiday on my blog I want to go big and stay home. So in honor of the holiday, my memories of it and just how GREAT it makes me feel i’m counting down my top 12 christmas specials! After last year’s worst of list I really wanted to do the oppsiite.. but it was naturally a lot harder. Shows usually put a LOT of effort into their christmas outings, even the ones who do so once a year, so the good FAR FAR OUTWEIGHS THE BAD. To show the contrast I could only find like.. 8 I was comfortable with putting on the worst list and even some of them aren’t that bad just not good. With the best of list? I had over 60 considered and even once I started narrowing down.. it was still around 30 or 40 REALLY GOOD specials I had to work down into this list. It took a lot of work and up to the last one it was really HARD to cut it down this far. But this is the best of the best of the best of the best of the.. you get the bit. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover and this review was already supposed to come out on christmas eve, so, since I won’t be able to use this for another year...

Er. Top 12 Christmas Specials.

12. Merry Christmas Johnny Rose (Schitt’s Creek) So I finally watched all of Schitt’s Creek this year.. and i’m kicking myself for not powering through it’s terrible starting decent ending first season earlier because the show is easly one of the best comedies of the last decade and rightly earned it’s emmy sweep this year. Heartfelt, hilarious, and starring some of the best names old and new in comedy, the show is really great and I recommend checking it out.. just again be aware the first few episodes are not very good and if it wasn’t vital to the rest of the show story wise, i’d just recommend skippping season 1. While the characters minus patriach Johnny are insuferable at first... it’s their growing from self absorbed assholes to still self abosrbed but really good and decent people that is the beating heart of the show. And no where more is this heart on the show’s sleve than at christmas time as this episode is baked in just how far our cast have come.

The episode centers on Johnny Rose, played by Eugene Freaking Levy who co created the show with his equally talented son Dan who desrves the lion’s share of the credit for the show’s upturn in quality. Since the Roses used to have big lavish christmas parties once a year, Johnny decides to throw the equilvent of what they can do on a budget at the Motel they all live in. But his family all has other plans with daughter Alexis, now happily with Ted again, meeting his friends for the first time, son David, played by Dan Levy, busy at his store with his partner, in both senses, patrick and his wife Moira having a performance with her acapella group. At first it just comes off as something typical of johnny: Something well meaning and what not but ultimatley just not something his family is into or that he planend well for.

It’s only when Johnny finds himself alone at the local diner with Moira coming to see him we find out why he’s REALLY doing this: the old lavish parties, which we see one of at the start.. ultimately ended up with him alone, sad and everyone off to their own corners. WIth the family having actually come together over the past 4 seasons, Johny simply wanted to celebrate that and says such in one of the best moments in the entire show and with one hell of a line.

"I just thought, in spite of all the hardship, we found ourselves coming together, the kids, you and me, as a family. And it just seemed like the perfect day to celebrate that. The perfect day for a Rose Family Christmas Party." But Moira has already taken care of it and thus takes JOhnny home to find all their friends and the rest of the family gathered, wtih the Jazzagals serandading eveyrone with a beautiful rendition of silent night. It’s just a warm, well done character piece that really fits the holiday while also really cementing what the show had become: a show not afraid to make dirty jokes or humilatie it’s cast but one that has a true sweetness to it. It’s only that the first half’s jokes don’t quite pop all that well and feel a bit at johnny’s expense that holds it back. Otherwise this is one i’ll be coming back to every year.

11. Father of the Bob (Bob’s Burgers) Bob’s Burgers is a damn great show i’m season’s behind on. Warm, charming, weird and with an expansive side cast played by a whos who of whose in comedy today. It’s a damn fine show and i’m happy it seems to have manatained it’s quality long after the simpsons and family guy lost theirs. And the show really loves christmas.. and halloween.. and valentine’s day.. and thanksgiving. Oh god does it love thanksgiving. Point is, the shows good at holiday episodes and loves doin em and has produced some stellar ones and I had a lot to pick from here.. but I ended up going with my gut and my personal faviorite. It’s not the most christmasy despite the trappings, but the character work is just too good to leave it out in the cold. It’s Christmas Eve and the Belcher’s are visiting Bob’s Dad. As you can tell by the fact the most we’ve seen of him is a picture of his restraunt, big bob’s diner in the belcher’s living room and a flashback where he told bob to work instead of play as a kid that set off an episode’s plot, they don’t have the best relationship. Bob has a firm rule about not spending more than 15 minutes with his dad, as that’s the point they run out of things to talk about and his dad starts getting overcrytical and making jabs at bob’s life and restraunt. Linda, being Linda, decides to meddle and when she finds out Big Bob’s short order cook is missing, has our Bob fill in. But as we see in flash backs it’s not THAT easy to repair things, as there’s a long, bitter history between the two: When a youngbob made his first unique burger and served it to a customer, his dad threw it out without even letting anyone taste it. He then offered bob a partnership when bob was a young man but Bob snapped at Big Bob in front of his friends and left to make burgers his own way, leading to where we are now. And honestly i’ts the perfect origin story for Bob and adds a lot of shades to his character. He’s obessed with the restraunt not just because he genuinely loves cooking but because it’s HIS. His place, to create creative burgers, his family and his regulars. It’s his corner of the sky. It makes the restraunt’s existance and surivvial that much more heartwarming to know the meaning behind it.

Naturally things end up blowing up with Bob pointedly serving the burger to make a point and Big bob walking out angrily and sadly. It takes bob’s gift from the kids, who had their own neat subplot of making gifts for bob in the basement, a snowglobe wrapped in newspaper.. to find out hsi dad kept the newspaper with the review of his first restraunt and kept ALL reviews of Bob’s Burgers. Despite being a stone faced critical ass on the outside, Big BOb STILl cared.. and bob relizes he needs to make amends and actually make an effort instead of just avoiding his dad or gettin gback at him. And through the power of gay club next door line dancing, and nick offerman whose a wonderful guest star here, the two reconcile with Bob admitting he shouldn’t of humilatied his dad even if he had to go his own way, and Big Bob admitting he’s hard to work with, the loss of his wife hit him hard, and he was a bit too much. The two hug, and it’s genuinely just a good, well done story of father and son that somehow gives even more dimension to Bob, an already pretty damn fleshed out character. Just a really great episode whose holiday timing makes it better.. though not being AS much a holiday episode as a really good bob’s burgers that’s enhanced by it is why this one’s so low. Next!

10. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (MST3K) I”m honestly surpised i’ts taken me THIS long to get to something MST3K related. I’ve loved the show since high school, first exposed to it thanks to a dvd from the library and continuing from there to present day. I love the show’s combination of riff’s on perfectly cheesy movie and fun skits with really good puppets especially for the budget. It’s just good comfort food in show form and no where is comfort food more welcome than christmas, and each era of MST3K, so far hopefully the show will come back again eventually, has had i’ts own damn good christmas special, with this being my faviorite out of the three.

The other two are good: ironically I have a poster for the santa claus over my computer, or rather crow and tom as santa and pitch aka satan respectively. Yes really, that’s the premise. IT is as awesome and batshit insane as it sounds. Point is I like that one and year without a santa claus, this one just has more personal warmth to me. I jus tlove the holiday feeling of joel and the bots readying for christmas in the host segments. It just feels like christmas and it’s wonderful to see the bots act like kids. That being said.. it’s still also fucking hilaroius, with the mad’s hilariously petty wish squisher, a device that turns good gifts into socks and other unwanted presents, the best Crow T Robot quote of all time as he gives joel his santa wish

And of course, one of the best and most patently insane christmas songs ever: Have Yourself a Patrick Swayze christmas, which has become oddly sweet after his death and got me to watch road house for the first time last year... and it’s as awesome and wonderfully rediclous as this song inspiried by it and even better once you get the refrences

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But while the host segments are what push this film into the list, the movie is still a delightful bit of 60′s cheese as, to restore their children to being children, a couple of martians kidnap santa to bring christmas to mars. Fights iwth robots, an asshole martian and an obnoxious sidekick named droppo, yes really, insue. IT’s just some fun cheese for the holiday and a staple of my holidays.

9. The Three Wise Men (Letterkenny) It’s no secret Letterkenny has quickly become one of my faviorite shows. After watching it last January, it’s become part of my being and one of my go too feel good shows, a funny as hell, uniquely weird slice of life show set in rural canada. While like it’s fellow recent legend of canadian television Schitt’s creek it’s first season CAN be a bit rough.. but it’s not as rough and getting through it is worht it as the show immiedatly picked up and became one of the funniest things to ever exist. It’s also uniquely tied to christmas as every year a season of the show has dropped on that day on it’s home streamer Crave TV in canada, and on boxing day here in the us. So it’s only fitting the show also has a REALLY great christmas special.

It’s Christmas eve and our heroes the hicks, are having a christmas party. For the uniniated the hick’s aren’t really all that “hick” ish just hardworking farmers who still accept everybody and work damn hard. Leading man, terse talker and certified badass Wayne is suprisingly really into christmas, as he spent pretty much every holiday spouting out inacuracies about it but this day? He genuienly enjoys, even insiting on awful holiday drinks only and a midnight toast, the titular three wiseman (Canadian, irish and American Whiskeys, one shot of each). “It’s tradition”. And thanks to tradition we get the main gag of the episode: most of the episode is wayne calling in various members of the town, most of whom he dosen’t like very much and some who deeply annoy him, to give them presents. And while i’ve admitted to being a guy who dosen’t like a plot that basically repeats itslef.. it works here.. mostly because while the setup is the same, each member provides something new and hilarious: while it starts innocently enough with Bonnie Mcmurray, local fanservice, nice lady and fangirl of wayne, getting a camera and offering to be an elf, an offer wayne is forced to take up, it soon becomes a parade of weirdness and bullshit Wayne really dosen’t want to put up with and that really makes me laugh hard: Local loveable sex maniac and bar owner Gail goes on for a good minute about her sexual antics with Wayne’s beloved departed uncle eddie after Wayne gives him a picture of the guy, Glenn, another of wayn’es unwanted admirers and local pastor, obsesses over a christmas themed digeredoo, local druggies and emos the skids intitally refuse to open their gift out of prinicpal until wayne simply asks “What if theres drugs in it” (It’s insted vitamin d), the local hockey coach sings a hilarious and gloriously cringe song about having sex with his wife when they were alive and the hockey players make wayne uncomfortable both by crying a bit. Also tanis gets an apron.

But even if the reactions horrify or piss off our hero into needing his elf’s help, the heart is in the fact that despite hating most of these people, he still got them a gift and one that’s hearfelt and well meaning. And naturally the sweetest is saved for his family of choice with the hicks: Squirrely Dan gets a pencil case for his oft talked about women’s studies class, Dary gets some clonge since he wears his barn clothes everywhere, and Katy gets an obscure korean christmas movie since her subplot that episode had been spent trying to get a christmas movie going, only for everyone to pick it apart: from the racisim of santa and co towards rudolph to pointing out how profoundly fucked up the premise of the santa claus is (including the fact various serial killers could’ve gotten the suit), which I agree with, it’s just a sweet gesture that shows how well he knows his friend. Overall it’s just a fun hangout of an episode that feels like a real christmas party and in these troubling times we could all use that. Now let’s all have a spit.

8. The Feast of Alvis (Sealab 2021) Another Christmas staple for me.. and a gloriously strange one at that. This time we’re checking under the sea with Sealab 2021, one of the earliest adult swim shows and the blueprint for the abriged series format, it took a dry hannah barbara show about an underwater research station and remixed it into the antics of a bunch of idiots and lunatatics throughuly unequipped for the task. Except Dr. Quinn, the only sane person aboard.. most of the time. It was comedy gold courtsey of Adam Reed, creator of the later Frisky Dingo, a throughly underated show, and Archer, which is like Frisky Dingo but refined into it’s truest and most sucessful form. It was magical and just talking about it makes me want to talk about it again at some point, probably in a best of list. So naturally this madcap energy was perfect for the holidays. Originally the crew planned to use ACTUAL religions for this, but were forced by network to change it.. which ended up being one of those cases where the network ended up actually making the right call as the creators instead created thinly veiled substute for the various religions... and centered it around Alavanism, which is christianity.. but if christ was instead born in the us at some point, and instead of being a pacifist, was a drunken beligernt gun loving redneck who shot a guy in the face, has “vengance is mine” as one of his quotes (from said face shooting) and still had pomp and circumstance as part of his holiday. Helping this though is our Alvian for the evening is Captain Murphy, the series best character and often the center of it’s best moments, played by the wonderful and sadly late Harry Goz, a half crazed half chidlish cloud cuckoolander who often comes off like a demanding child in an old man’s body. So naturally this holiday is for him and even more naturally he’s holding a massive alvis day cermeony that’s as batshit as he and his religion are in the main deck: he’s got buffalo, a buffet that’s deeply unsanitary, and a hallogen light mimickign the alvistide star that he wants to plop a baby under. Naturally no one else is happy about this. Well Stormy, local hilarious dumbass, is as the only other alvian on board for this, and a general sucker for dumb shenanigans but he’s so plastared he’s even less coherent than usual and can mostly muster the desire to kick something’s ass or a weak “shut up” Most of all Quinn and his girlfriend debbie, who point out religious tolerance is a part of the sealab charter and that this kind of grotesuqe celebration really isn’t in season. I’ts also a nice dig at “War on Christmas Assholes”, long before that was as big a problem with Muprhy very much being the asshole and his cleebration rapidly crumbling. He also attempts to fire Sparks for being a wiccan stand in so yeah he deserves it. It’s all capped in Muprhy getting visted by a drunken halucination of his lord. All in all easily one of the best and most insane christmas specials ever put to film. If you have HBO Max watch it today or tommorow you will NOT regret it.

7. Arnold’s Christmas (Hey Arnold) A classic of my childhood, Hey Arnold is one of the best animated shows period. It’s something i’m not shy about saying, I bleivie I said it in my thanksgiving list and i’ll say it quite a bit. It’s not PERFECT, it has it’s flaws.. but it’s still damn good and the golden standard for slice of life shows.

This episode naturally is one of it’s best and, while I didn’t catch as a kid the signifigance or what this was about, touches on of all things the vietnam war and the children who were helicoptered out. In a heart destroying story, Mr. Winn, one of Arnold’s boardinghousemates, reveals he has a daughter he has no idea where she is as to give her a better life, he made sure she got on one of those helicopters as an infant. While he was able to immigrate later, he never found her. Arnold being our own personal jesus, refuses to let this stand and goes out of his way to figure it out and goes on a quest that seemingly ends in failure. It falls on Helga to save the day as Helga actually gets what she wanted from her parents, a pair of nice boots, and gets the rare moment where they actually acknoledge her.. but loving arnold and seeing the noblility in his quest.. she gives it up. Just to make someone elses’ dream come true. He may never know who did it and tha’ts okay. An utterly heartwarming and heartbreaking episode. Nuff said.

6. Santa Claus is Comin To Town Speaking of classics this is how you do a santa origin story. Not the first or last i’d see, and we’ll get to one of those in a moment. While i’m not a huge fan of Rankin Bass’ other big hit with Rudolph, this one really hits the spot for me and is only this low because it’s pacing is really slow at points. Otherwise this special is near flawless, looks good and holds up today. As I said this is a good Year One for santa establishing how he became immortal, how he met the elves, he was raised by them, how he started giving out toys, how he met mrs claus you know all the stuff you’d ask about. To me what really sells it the best though is Mickey Rooney as Santa. While I had no idea who played him till literally writing this article in my mind his earnesness, kindness and genuine nature just.. fit the old elf to me even as a young man and everything from his humble beginings to his wanting to help children just out of kindness to his teaching an old man to dance to his romance just feels.. genuine and warm like christmas should. It just makes me feel good and like others on this list.. FEELS like christmas if that makes any sense. Not a lot else to say. Burger Meister Meisterburger isn’t the best vilian, but it was the early 70′s and we weren’t quite to diamond levels of complex interesting villians just yet so fair enough. Baiscally I don’t have a TON to say about this special in short, I may review it next year, we’ll see, but it’s really good, really fun and sometimes simple just works I guess? Speaking of stop motion..

5. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas (Community) I love a good sitcom. I haven’t shared that love enough on here, I should try and change that at some point, but I do, as a fourth of this list should make crystal clear. So while sadly some of my faviorites like Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Rec and Roseanne didn’t make the cut, Community thankfully did. Community is a show that’s really damn good and had THREE awesome Christmas episodes. All three, all winners and all in contention for some time. Regional Holiday music just barely didn’t make the cut. But ultimately I went with the best of the best, the most creative, most character driven, and most intresting. And the one that in Community’s traditional style, decided to take a spin on an old genre. In this case Abed, the study groups resident pop culture junkie, guy who thinks in tropes and future Huey Duck, is seeing everything in stop motion and may get thrown out of school as a result. With his friends deeply worried, they turn to Greendale’s local psychologist and british areshole Professor Duncan, played by my spirtual father John Oliver. ALL HAIL THIS MAN

Duncan takes the two into Abed’s fantasy and thus into a rankin bass special where Abed slowly weeds out his friends and tries to get rid of Duncan, whose naturally only intrested in proving a case. It’s a fun, chaotic ride including christmas pterodactyls, and the cast all in bizzare forms based on what Abed thinks of htem. it’s really damn creative and beauitfully animated at that. Naturally like most of these what clinches it is the heart and soul. We find out towards the end WHy this happened: Abed’s mom is spending christmas with her new family instead of him and it’s broken him to not be able to watch specials like they do> Thus the group rally behind their friend, beat duncan in a wonderful christmas number and watch specials with their buddy, as the weird ass family some of whom have or will make out, they are.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas With my love of comic strips and sentiment, it should suprise absolutely no one this is on here. I love peanuts and have only grown to love it more over hte years for it’s mealancholy, finely constructed cast and weird bits people forget about like Snoopy’s disco phase, that really damn good arc where his house burned down, his brother stealing his fiance only to have her stolen from him, the fact Lucy threw Linus out once, that peppermint patty was once held back a grade and her snores took her place at her desk, the fact there was a character named 5, Charlie Brown and Linus’ friend roy who introduced peppermint patty to the cast, the fact a character named crybaby boobie exists, the fact there are specials devoted to a pastiche of call of the wild, a friend of linus’ getting cancer, and Flashbeagle. Just flashbeagle.

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It is glorious. And I really need to add that to my review queue.. maybe for late january. Seriously, tis glorious. And I OWN this one. So yeah. What were we talking about? Oh yes the special that made all the specials, especially flashbeagle, possible: A Charlie Brown Christmas This one has always been part of my life, but even beyond it’s signifigance to me, having grown up with it and grafted it to my soul, it’s just .. good. It has some good commentary on the consumrisim of the holiday with Charlie Brown rightly a bit upset about it and ending up roped into directing a christmas play. Great gags, and charlie brown trying to stick up for a scragly tree no one enlse likes insue. Oh and scripture as this is probably the only overtly religious special on the list. Not that ther’es anything wrong with not being religious and celebrating christmas: i’m not anymore but I still do and while I respect people who celebrate the holiday int he spirit of christ I have none for people who bash anyone who dosen’t just see it religiously and whose over zealous about it. Your just as bad as war on christmas people and you should feel bad. But yeah overal it’s just an inconic special whose clunkyness in production and audio just adds some charm to it. It shows it’s age.. but only in the animation and production values, which is just.. charming. It’s message is timeless, it’s characterization is perfect as you’d expect from peanuts in it’s prime, and i’ts ending is truly heartmelting. If you’ve never seen this one.. just go do that. I can wait.

3. How Santa Stole Christmas! (Ducktales) I”ll be brief on this one as, since it only aired a few weeks ago, i’ve already done a full review on it. But I will justify why such a recent special is this high up: because it’s just that good. It may of JUST been aired, but it’s as good as anything else here and age dosen’t matter. Quality does. There will likely be future specials worth this list i’m sure but for this moment in time this one earns it. It has Santa perfectly charactrized and tells an utterly heartrending story of friendship that ends up ending simply because the two are moving in opposite directions and of Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas. Not thorugh the ghosts, they already brilliantly messed with that one. It’s just really fantastic, gets the christmas spriit perfectly and uses the characters just as flawlessly. I will defintely be watching this one every year. Just a warm, creative, funny as hell special.

2. Comfort and Joy (Justice League) Speaking of reviews I held off reviews of my final two so I could save more thoughts here. I probably still will review them eventually, especially this one, I just felt i’d be repeating myself or have to be brief like the last one. But yeah this one slaps. The Justice League cartoon is easily one of the best superhero cartoons, if not superhero properties, period. Taking the base already built in from the previous three dcau cartoons, this one builds out the world and expands it , and introduced a young me to my lifelong loves of Martian Manhunter, The Flash and especailly the green lanterns with John Stewarts badass reciting of the oath easily etched in my brain. The only reason he isn’t my faviorite lantern is because mogo exists.. aka the lantern that is a living planet.

You can see why. But yeah Jon stuck in my mind. So it’s probably no suprise that the christmas special heavily featuring all three. It’s Christmas Time and after the league stops it’s usual disaster, they head off for their usual holiday activities. Batman and Wonder Woman are missing, but it’s fine. While I love both, especailly DCAU Batman, the episode is probably better off not trying to shove them in there just for the sake of it. One of the show’s greatest strength’s was character ballance, not forcing EVERY member of the big 7 into every episode and just using whose needed and shuffling them in and out FAR BETTER than say, Ducktales. Point is this, much like being loved by anyone, was not unusual and it makes the episode tighter. Even more so since this is the ONLY half hour episode in the first two seasons, the rest are basically hour long episodes split into two parters, though still paced for being two episodes so it’s good.. and three movie length three parters for the premire, and the season finales. Fun Fact: As a kid I missed starcrossed and thus had to find out second hand, and barely at that, why hawkgirl was gone at the start of unlimited. I still have not seen it. I will correct this eventually. It was a diffrent time.

So yeah this episode not only has a main character cast of 6, with 3 other major supporting characters, but is handily split into three amazing plot lines. The first has Green Lantern try to teach Hawkgirl how to have christmas fun by playing on a snowy world, while Hawkgirl takes him to a bar to show how she celebrates.. i.e. getting hammered and starting a fight. Nanananana, she’s gonna start a fight. It’s a fun really sweet segment, and some nice ship tease between the two. The other two though are what make this special.. not that the first one is bad these two are just really inspiried for the characters involved: For the Flash, who in this series is both Wally and a bit of a smug quipster.. we see beneath the ego and flirting he’s really a sweet, caring guy and spends his christmas finding a toy for the orphans in this case a rapping duck.

Not QUITE as embarassing btu close. He runs into the Ultra Humanite whose destroying the toys because he hates the comercialism and how it dumbs things down for the kids. Have I mentioned that I love the Ultra Humanite? Because I do.. the animated version. The comics version is REALLY fucking creepy but this version? He’s fucking great, an intellectual whose a formidable threat.. and honestly sympathetic. His motive here, while misguided, is well meaning and his price for selling out the injustice gang and going back to jail quitely? one of the best gags in human history. Getting PBS to say “This program was supported by viewers like you.. and the ultra humanite” He’s just awesome and i’ts a shame he never returned for unlimited. His comic version, while not BAD is just.. not NEARLY as intresting or deep and I wish the comics would have him take after this version. And that depth shows as once he learns what was going on, he willingly helps flash and simply reprograms the duck to recite the nutcracker. It’s a really nice gesture, that flash returns by giving his foe a christmas tree. Really good stuff. And I saved the best for last. Heading home for the holidays, Clark takes Jonn with him since otherwise he’d be stuck at the watchtower and batman was apparnetly “Begging” for duty. Granted one wonders what his surrogate dad and adopted sons think but odds are alfred would just drag them up there anyway no mater how much Dick protested. And of course Alfred has watchtower clearance, he’s alfred: he’s the only one besides Diana looking out for bruce.. and no I don’t buy the bullshit from the batman beyond comics that never happened. And Clark too, this is true... but it takes a village to get bruce to go the fuck to sleep and most of that villiage is alfred. And if your wondering “wait won’t he be in danger”... the only thing that can kill this man is apparently bane. He’s survivied earthquakes, poisonings, turning into a supervillian via radaition induced crazies, yes really, apparently dying leading to the supervillian thing, being stabbed, being shot at, having to help raise damien... my point is the guy’s been through a lot in comics, I doubt the dcau version is any less resilent and god damn I miss this old man. Salute alfred, salute. Where was I oh yeah, Clark insists on taking John home. And it’s stuff like this why I freaking love superman. Many dismiss him as corny, unrelaistic or boring.. all untrue. Sure he’s a boyscout, but he’s meant ot resprsent the best in mankind, what we can truly be powers or no, what we can achieve and the kind of moral, kind person we can be. He’s an inspiration for us all. And this kind of act is what shows that: his response to one of his friends having nowhere to go on christmas and not having been around the holiday? Take him to his house to share in the warmth and love. And Clark’s parents here show WHY he’s the hero he is and why I freaking love them in all flavors.. except Zack Snyder flavor and even then tha’ts only for Pa “Letting people die is the right thing to do now i’m going to throw myself into a tornado to prove that” kent. But it’s christmas so i’m not here to bitch about zack snyder and if you want that in full, you can pay for it. My point is they show, as they should how he became the moral paragon he is: they meet a man from mars, who they’ve never met and their son just invited.. and welcmoe him without a thought. While this isnt’ their first alien obviously, and they say so, it’s still really sweet they just warmly welcome the man in and give him their surrogate daughter/their sons’ biological cousin’s room while sh’es away. Oh Kara’s away conveniently skiing with barbra. Also she lives with them in this continuity. Also maybe that’s where dick is. I dunno, but I hope so. Dickbabs for life.. depending on the continuity. I”m still dick and star for life in the titans cartoon. Point is we get nice of sweet, and hilaroius, holiday stuff: Jonn is suprised to see this side of clark: while he’s always warm and inviting as Clark.. he can also be relaxed, enjoy the holiday and get real spirited. For one day he dosen’t have to be superman. He can just be clark. Evne superman can take a day off.. and he’s superman, he desrves one. Let Bruce and Diana take care of it after they finish marathon sex and Diana finshes with Cheetaah and Maxwell lord. But yeah as I was saying hilarious as we find out clark used to peak and they had to, and still do, line it with lead foil to make sure he can’t peak, and Martha gives John a sweater, saying his company is all they need for a gift and when it’s a bit big he charmingly grows into it. Jonn also walks among the humans a bit and we get a great little bit of him sneaking down a chimney after hearing the thorughts of a girl whose worried santa isn’t real. It’s just all great stuff that cumilates in Jonn joyfully singing a song in his native tounge while stroking Kara’s cat Streaky.. who sadly does not have a cape or super powers in this universe. Yet. Just a really good superhero story, a damn fine christmas story and one of the best episodes of a stellar show that thankfully is still remembered in this new age of heroes.

1. It’s Christmas You Dorks (Harvey Beaks) Yup not probably a lot of people’s first choice but fuck it. I’ve loved this one since i saw it a few years ago shorlty after the series ended, having grown far behind and caught up just as it was ending... and regretted it as Harvey Beaks is easily one of my faviorite shows from the wall to wall hit parade that was the 2010′s. It’s charming, hilaroius, heartfelt, and creative.. and really weird if not as weird as CH Greenblaht’s previous show chowder.. but still weird enough.Thankfully Big City Greens is carying the banner for this kind of show, as is Craig of the Creek, so the kind of gentle, slice of life stuff hasn’t gone away, but this show was still it’s own thing and i’m sad it’s gone. But while it was here it was spectacular and this is one of the best of em if not the best. And naturally for a show like this it has a neat approach: The episode is dialouge free, only having some singing in the last act and that’s diagetic, the characters singing a christmas song. We’ll get to that. This isn’t the FIRST silent christmas special i’ve seen, Courage the Cowardly dog did it’s own take on the nutcracker, but it’s still the best. And given Courage the Cowardly Dog is one of my faviorite shows, that’s high praise. Each segment is charming, unique, and well done.

As for what each are: The wraparound is a gorgeously animated bit of stop motion or something like it where the spirit of winter goes around and turns fall to winter or helps the kid with winter fun. It’s a bunch of really adorable stuff. The first proper one is the kids having a snowball fight when a bunch of asshole adults interupt, and hte kids end up getting even by hiding in some snowmen. Again just some really fun, really well done stuff. But the first one that really makes it follows Technobear, local wannabe ladies man in training who has a crush on Harvey’s mom and fantasies about giving her some lovely read shoes and skating with her. His hopes are dashed when instead her daughter michelle, the horrifing baby child pictured above, takes them instead. But not only is it heartwarming to see the stone faced future rule of the world crack a smile, Techno instnatly realizes whats’ improtant and takes the bby ice skating. The next segment is just some goofy googus with the squirrels, the local crooks who are also squirreels, but it’s still pretty good. We then get Jeremy trying to be santa which is both funny but genuinely heartwarming and finally the best bit as Dade, local killjoy, gets annoyed at everyone singing a popular new christmas song instead of the old standard he likes and being a dick about it before softening a bit when Harvey genuinely offers him camradere. It’s just.. good stuff that’s hard to put into words, and given putting it into words is my thing, it really speaks to just hwo good this special is. it just, makes me feel nice, and really gets the spirit of the holiday in all it’s forms. It’s gorgeously aniamted, well paced, and never stops being entertaining and that’s why it’s both my faviorite and why every year.. i’ll be coming back to little bark. And if nothing else.. it’ll keep this warm, great show alive in my heart. So with that I end this list. If you didn’t like it tha’ts fine, this is my opinon. But I wanted to share my faviorites with you and hope you’ll check them out this or next chirstmas. Until we meet again... Merry Christmas to all,and to all a good night.

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phantasticworks · 3 years

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If You Don’t Love Me, Pretend - Chapter Twenty

Thank you so much for the patience on this story. I promise I am not going to leave you guys hanging without an ending, it's just a long work in progress. I hope you enjoy this chapter! <3

read on ao3

Words: 12.3k

Summary: Dan and Phil have an interesting "date night" at the BBC Fundraiser.

Warnings for this chapter: swearing, mentions of alcohol

Dan doesn’t know what to wear. He’s stood in front of his side of the shared closet, blindly. There’s nothing jumping out at him, nothing screaming “first public appearance with your fake fiancé in front of people who matter!” And he’s not sure what to do about that.

“Dan,” Phil’s voice filters into his ears. “Hello? Daniel, honestly-“

“Huh?” Dan mumbles in confusion, turning to glance at him. “What?”

“Did you honestly not hear a word I just said?” Phil asks, sounding exasperated.

Dan huffs. “I didn’t even know you were standing there until, like, now. So no.”

Phil seems to shift from annoyance to worry then. “Are you okay?” Before Dan can reply, Phil steps forward, pressing his hand to Dan’s forehead to check for a temperature. “You don’t feel like you’ve got a fever,” he announces.

Dan rolls his eyes at that. “That’s because I don’t,” he sighs, knocking Phil’s hand away. “I just can’t decide what to wear.”

Phil lets out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort of disbelief. “That’s what’s got you looking like someone just kicked your puppy?”

“Hey,” Dan whines weakly. “I just want to look good.”

There’s a mutter of something that sounds suspiciously like “you always look good,” which Dan decides to ignore. “It’s not that big of a deal, Dan,” Phil says when Dan doesn’t say anything. Phil flops onto the bed, staring up at Dan with a sweet smile. “You’ll look fine no matter what.”

“But... what if I’m too overdressed? Or what if I’m underdressed?” He crosses his arms, pouting. “Should we match? Would that look stupid? Would it look more stupid if we didn’t match?”

Phil sighs, opening his arms. “C’mere.”

“I’ve got to pick something to wear,” Dan protests immediately.

“No you don’t, we’ve still got like two hours before we have to go. Now come here and let me comfort you, buffoon.”

His tone leaves little room for argument, so with a very over-dramatic sigh, Dan consents, crawling onto the bed and flopping down right into Phil’s arms. They wrap around each other smoothly, and Dan tries not to compare the way they fit together to a puzzle or something else vaguely suggestive. It’s just nice, being close to someone he cares about like this. In a completely platonic way.

“You know it’s not that big of a deal, right?” Phil murmurs to him. “Like, I know it sounds like it is, but they’re just people, Dan. Just like us.”

“I know,” Dan murmurs. “But they’re people I’d like to impress.”

Phil kisses his hair. “I know.” Evidently that’s all the advice he’s got, as the room gets quiet then, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

Rather than stew in his own nervousness, Dan pats Phil’s chest. “Should we match though, seriously?”

There’s a lovely little crinkle to Phil’s nose when Dan glances up at him. “I’d really rather we didn’t, actually,” he mumbles.

“What, you don’t wanna go with the coordinated husbands look?” Dan asks, quirking a brow.

Phil rolls his eyes, before rolling Dan off him, going to sort through the clothes on his side of the closet. “I actually had an outfit in mind for myself. But I know you’re gonna make fun of me.”

Dan bites back the instant denial that tries to crawl out of his mouth. Clearing his throat instead, he asks, “Well, what did you have in mind?”

Phil grins, and Dan suddenly feels like he’s been baited. Before he can revoke asking, Phil fishes something out of the closet, grinning broadly as he holds it up for Dan to see. It takes approximately four seconds for Dan to study the forest green shirt to notice that the pinstripes, wavy and trippy at first, are actually little bamboo stalks, and the waves are actually tiny pandas. Dan huffs, making Phil’s grin widen.

“That looks ridiculous,” Dan informs him, sitting up and crossing his arms. “What blazer are you matching it with?”

Phil looks smug. Dan rolls his eyes. “I have the black one that might be nice. The beetle one? You remember?”

Dan vaguely remembers mocking Phil about a beetle shell blazer, but he only recalls seeing it once or twice, so he’s already dreading whatever it is that Phil is about to pull out of his closet. Instead of the flashy monstrosity he’s expecting, it’s actually a very subtle shade of black iridescent, catching the light just the right way to turn it a bit greenish. It looks undeniably attractive paired with the shirt and Dan sighs but nods. “You’ll look great,” he says, almost exasperated.

Phil grins before laying his clothes haphazardly on the bed beside Dan. “Do you want me to actually help you pick something or do you want me to leave you alone?”

Dan considers it, but allows a sheepish shrug to possess his shoulders. “As much as I appreciate your opinion...” he trails off, giving Phil an apologetic look.

Rolling his eyes, Phil nods and steps away. “Okay. I’m gonna go get ready in the bathroom, but you can come in whenever you need to.”

“‘Kay,” Dan mumbles, already standing to thumb through his options again. Phil brushes his lips against Dan’s temple before leaving him be, and Dan smiles at the fabric in front of him.

After staring at his closet for nearly ten whole minutes, Dan decides on a white button down, paired with a flowery blazer he hadn’t had the chance to wear yet. It’s a little flamboyant, a little loud, but he likes the attention, if he’s being perfectly honest. He doesn’t like the idea that he and Phil won’t match, but he notices that there is a subtle hint of green to the leaves in the floral pattern of the jacket, and he hopes that’s enough to make them look matched.

After tugging on some fitted black slacks, which are cut neatly to show off his ankles, he pulls the white shirt on and makes his way into the bathroom to do something with his hair. Phil’s stood at the sink already, combing through his hair with his fingers. Dan can smell the product, an almost citrusy note to it, and he smiles at Phil’s reflection.

“You pick something out?” Phil asks, sliding his gaze to Dan’s in their reflection.

“Mhm. I’m wearing the flowery jacket, the one I got from Topman?”

Phil nods like he knows which one Dan’s talking about even though they both know he doesn’t. It’s quiet for a moment while they both fix their hair, and when Dan’s done all he can in terms of making sure his hair behaves, he begins rifling through their drawers, looking for something else. It only takes a moment of his rummaging for Phil to get curious.

“What’re you looking for?” He mumbles, rubbing at his jaw like he’s trying to decide if he should shave or not.

“Mm,” Dan hums, not quite answering. His hand finally finds the tiny cylinder and he brandishes it triumphantly. “Ah-ha!” He announces. “Found it.”

Phil squints, clearly trying to figure out what it is. He watches intently as Dan unscrews the cap, and Dan catches a flicker of dawning understanding across his face as he brings the mascara spooly up to his left eye. Dan’s careful and precise in his movements, making extra sure that he applies it neatly, considering how long it had been since he’d had any reason to wear it. When he’s finished with both eyes, he replaces the cap and admires his work in the mirror, batting his eyelashes several times to make sure it’s not sticking together.

Phil’s watching him when Dan turns around. He’s got a soft look on his face, easing the slight anxiety Dan still feels about doing things outside the traditional gender norm. “Beautiful,” he says simply, reaching up and tucking a tuft of hair back into place on Dan’s head.

Dan feels his face heating up under the praise. “Thank you,” he says, surprised at himself when he manages to keep his voice sincere. Phil’s hand slides from Dan’s hair to cradle his cheek and he gives him a soft smile before his hand falls away entirely. Dan has to clear his throat twice to settle his sudden butterflies. “Are you ready to go?” Dan asks, his voice almost cracking towards the end.

Phil shrugs, pouting at himself in the mirror as he prods at his face. “I can’t decide if I need to shave or not,” he complains.

Stepping right into his space, Dan knocks Phil’s hands out of the way, smoothing his hand over his jaw slowly. He can tell there’s a hint of stubble from feeling of it, grainy against his fingertips. He hates that he kind of loves it. His eyes flick to Phil’s as he leans in, pressing his lips to Phil’s jaw and brushing them softly against the skin. He’s got one hand on Phil’s arm and the other on the opposite side of Phil’s face, thoroughly trapping him right in Dan’s grip.

When Phil shivers, Dan pulls away. “You’re a little rough,” he murmurs, their faces closer than before.

“What?” Phil asks, his pupils blown wide. Dan can’t help but wonder if it’s him specifically or his actions that did that. Either way, he bites his lip to hide his smug grin.

“Your beard. Little bit scratchy. Maybe just a quick shave and you’ll be good,” Dan tells him.

Phil nods, looking slightly vacant. Dan’s never really seen him like this, looking this affected by anything Dan’s ever done, and honestly... the thought of that is enough to give him a confidence boost like no other. “Alright, I’ll... I’ll shave and then we can go.”

“Perfect,” Dan says brightly, clapping his hands together with a smile. “I’m going to go find my shoes.”

There’s a mumbled response that Dan doesn’t quite catch, but he smiles to himself all the way to the other room.

~~~

“Remember, call us if anything happens, okay? I’m serious, Levi,” Dan says for maybe the fifth time that night.

Levi nods, his gaze flicking to the ceiling in an almost-roll. “Got it.”

Dan stands in the hallway leading to their front door, tugging at his suit jacket to make sure it’s situated properly on his shoulders. He’s getting impatient at this point, having been waiting for nearly ten minutes now. “Phil, come on!” Dan calls. He glances at Levi, who’s leaned against the wall waiting for them to leave. “And he says I take forever to get ready,” Dan mumbles, loud enough that Levi can hear but Phil can’t.

Levi laughs, which is what Dan was hoping for. “Should’ve put money on it,” Levi jokes with a grin.

Dan rolls his eyes but nods. “Honestly,” he agrees.

They’re interrupted by footsteps and Dan turns to face the sound, propping his hands on his hips and tapping his foot, the epitome of impatience. “What took you?” Dan asks as Phil steps into the hall.

He gets the answer unspoken, as Phil barely acknowledges that he’s even said anything, too busy focusing on attempting to tie his bow tie. Dan can’t help but sigh fondly. “I can’t- ugh!” Phil complains, starting over.

“C’mere, idiot,” Dan says, his voice incredibly fond. Phil huffs but steps into his space. “Turn around, I don’t know how to do it that way,” Dan instructs, nudging lightly at Phil’s shoulder.

Phil complies, and when he does, Dan puts his arms around Phil to grab the material of the tie. He presses close to hook his chin over Phil’s shoulder to watch what he’s doing to make sure it looks okay. There’s a soft noise from Phil as Dan ties it, and Dan smiles at the way Phil’s body seems to melt against his own.

“All done,” Dan announces, pressing an impulsive kiss to Phil’s neck before stepping back.

“Thanks,” Phil says, turning and smiling at him. Dan nods, straightening the bow tie a little bit as Phil turns to Levi. “Do you have everything you need? Phone, food, all that?”

Levi has a sort of thoughtful look on his face as his gaze flicks between the two of them. He looks a little startled when he realizes Phil’s asked him a question, but he only nods. “Mhm. I’ve got everything I need.”

“Alright,” Phil says, buttoning his cuff on one sleeve. He glances at Dan, his gaze flicking up and down the length of him, nearly making Dan blush. “You look good,” Phil tells him unashamedly.

Dan avoids eye contact, clearing his throat. “Thanks.” He flicks a curl out of his eyes, fiddling with his hair absently. His gaze flickers to Phil, who’s looking at him expectantly. “What?” He asks, deadpan.

Phil huffs. “Where’s my compliment, rat?”

Dan cuts his eyes at him, quirking his brows. “You’re really gonna stand there and ask me to stroke your ego?”

There’s an adorable pout on Phil’s lips as he blinks owlishly at Dan. “Please? I told you how nice you look.”

Rolling his eyes and looking away to hide the flush on his cheeks, Dan steps past him to grab his car keys off the hook by the door. He spares a brief glance at Phil, his resolve crumbling as he reaches for his hand. ��You look amazing,” he says quietly, pressing a quick kiss to the back of Phil’s hand before dropping it. “Dashing, even.”

Phil grins widely, rolling his shoulders in a puffed-up, proud sort of way. It makes Dan’s chest ache with fondness. “And to think you made fun of this blazer when I bought it.” He looks well chuffed as he tugs on the cuffs of the jacket.

Dan takes a moment to look at Phil then, really look at him, and he smiles with a wistful shake of his head. “It’s not the blazer, bub.” Before Phil can respond to that, Dan turns his gaze to Levi, who’s watched the exchange with amusement. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He asks one last time.

Levi rolls his eyes, but nods. “We’ll be fine. Everything’s under control, I promise.” He gives a little salute in a bid goodbye, reminding Dan of himself. “Have fun on your date,” he says with a smirk.

Dan points an accusing finger at him. “Keep your phone on, okay? We’ll be checking in.”

Levi waves him off with a nod. “I know, I know. But honestly we’re fine. You guys can have fun, do whatever. We’ll be alright.”

Dan’s about to argue when Phil puts a steadying hand on his shoulder. He gives him a look and Dan knows he needs to chill now. “We know, Levi. We’ll be home around ten or eleven, yeah?”

Levi nods. “Alright. See you then.”

Phil waves, putting his hand on the small of Dan’s back to guide him out. He probably realizes that if he gives him literally any more time to procrastinate, Dan will either find a reason to stay home with the kids, or make Levi actually lose his mind, neither of which are preferable right now. Having already said goodnight to the twins, they make their way out the door, locking it behind them.

“They’ll be okay, right?” Dan asks worriedly.

“Of course they will,” Phil replies easily, squeezing Dan’s hip in reassurance. “Come on, we’ll be late.”

Dan mumbles something half-heartedly irritated under his breath, but Phil ignores him, which is probably for the best.

~~~

When they arrive at the venue the BBC had rented out, the event is in full swing. They’re not late, Phil assures Dan when he complains about their timing. Everyone was supposed to show up around seven, then socialize amongst themselves until the speeches and things started at eight. Most of Phil’s coworkers were already there, and Dan recognized PJ and Chris among a few others he’d been briefly introduced to over the past few years since Phil’d started there.

Another thing Dan notices quickly is how Phil carries himself in this space. He’s completely in his element, holding his head high and greeting his employees with a smile. He’s so... powerful here, if Dan’s being honest. He tries not to think about how attractive that makes Phil seem, seeing him take on this leader personality. It’s made more difficult as he’s led through a crowd of people who seem to part for Phil, smiling and nodding at the two of them like they’re some sort of royalty.

“I forget about the whole “BBC producer” thing sometimes, but god, these people really treat you like a king, don’t they?” Dan whispers to Phil.

Phil laughs, moving his hand to the small of Dan’s back to lead him to a table with some people Dan recognizes. “Maybe a little bit. It’s mostly superficial though- if they’re nice, they usually want something from me.”

Dan tries not to let that rub him the wrong way as Phil waves to the table of his coworkers, a bright grin on his face. “Hi, everyone,” he greets. “I’m sure you all remember my fiancé, Dan.” Phil rubs gentle circles against Dan’s back as he speaks, making his cheeks warm in response.

“Er, hi,” he says quietly, waving to the four people sat at the table.

“Phil! Dan!” PJ says joyfully, tipping his head back to smirk at them. “We were just talking about you,” he jokes, gesturing to a woman next to him. It takes Dan a moment to recognize her in this setting, but when he does- “This is my girlfriend, Sophie,” PJ introduces her with a bright smile in her direction.

Dan laughs. “We’ve actually already met. Hello again, Sophie.”

The brunette smiles at him, a twinkle of surprise in her eyes. “Dan! And Phil! Lovely to see you again. How are the kids?”

Phil pulls a chair out for Dan next to Sophie, taking the one beside him and next to a man Dan’s never met before. Dan smiles gratefully at him as he sits before answering Sophie’s question. “They’re doing really well! The twins are loving school and I think Levi’s made a couple friends. It’s still an adjustment having three of them, but it’s really lovely.” He’s close to saying more, gushing about how much he loves being a parent, but remembering where they are and who they’re with makes him pause.

“That’s wonderful!” Sophie replies. She must notice PJ’s confused stare, so she leans closer to explain. “They’re fostering Levi, one of the foster children who I used to have on my case list.”

“Oh,” PJ says, nodding in understanding. “Small world, huh?” He asks with a lazy grin.

Dan nods with a polite smile. He’s still a little uncertain about PJ and Chris for how they treated Phil before, but he’s willing to be civil tonight. Chris, who’s sat between PJ and the man Dan has yet to be introduced to, smiles and waves at Dan, who returns it with a nod.

“Dan,” Phil says, nudging Dan’s arm with his wrist. “This is Tom. He’s one of the technicians at the studio.”

Dan reaches over to shake his hand with a polite smile. “Nice to meet you.”

Tom nods at him. “And you as well,” he replies. He turns to say something to Phil, then, so Dan occupies himself with looking around the table for a drink.

“So, things are alright?” Sophie asks, her voice quiet enough not to disturb the others, having their own separate conversations in pairs. “Levi’s doing okay?” She sounds concerned, but in a way that makes it obvious she’s trying to mask the emotion.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan agrees with a smile. “He’s getting on well with me and Phil, the twins are happy to have him home... I think he’s doing really well.”

“Good, that’s really good,” Sophie says with a sigh of relief. “I worry about him sometimes,” she admits. At the panic that’s probably on Dan’s face, she shakes her head, waving her hands dismissively. “No, no, not that he’s with you and Phil, just... in general. He’s had a very hard life, and it was one of the saddest cases I’ve worked recently, so... I just keep him in my thoughts very often.”

Dan nods slowly. He’s trying to think of a subtle way to ask about their home life, but he doesn’t think this is the right place. Another vacant look around the table has him wishing for that drink all over again. “Well... I know he’s come out of his shell a lot since he moved in. We’re really happy to have him, though. He’s such a good kid.”

PJ, who’d tuned into the conversation somewhere during Sophie talking, tilts his head at Dan, smiling. “You sound like you really enjoy being a foster parent,” he says. Something about the emphasis he puts on the word “foster” prickles underneath Dan’s skin in an uncomfortable sort of way. He tries not to let it bother him, knowing that PJ probably didn’t mean anything by it at all.

“I do,” Dan says, tilting his chin up, almost defiant. He glances at Phil, who at some point has placed his arm on the back of Dan’s chair and is softly running his fingers through the hair at the base of Dan’s head. “I think we both really enjoy it, honestly.”

PJ nods with a grin. “I know Philly does, he talks about you guys constantly,” he teases.

Phil rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it. “It’s my family, Peej, what do you expect?”

PJ’s grin only widens, as if this is fuel to his fire. “Oh, I know, I get it.” He turns to Dan then with a cheeky smirk. “He told us all about your Halloween costumes the other day. That’s such a fun idea, honestly.”

“Oh, what did you go as?” Sophie asks, interrupting whatever mocking remark PJ was surely about to make. Dan’s grateful for her all over again.

“Er, we did a Pokémon theme. The kids were the three starters, Phil was Ash.” He’s very specifically avoiding sharing what part he played in that theme, for obvious reasons.

“And Dan was Pikachu!” Phil announces cheerfully, tugging lightly on a strand of Dan’s hair.

Sophie coos as Dan sends a glare to the side of Phil’s face. Chris has engaged him in another conversation already, and Dan’s just left to sit there steeping in the hot water of embarrassment.

“That’s precious,” Sophie declares with a smile. “Do you have any photos?” She asks.

Dan wants to lie and say no, but he sees the hope in her eyes and he knows he can’t do that to her. Instead he nods and goes to fish out his phone from his pockets. He panics when he can’t find it, shifting in his seat to see if it’s slipped out somehow.

“What’re you looking for?” Phil asks, sending him a confused look.

Dan sighs. “I think I left my phone in the car. Can I see yours? I wanted to show Sophie our Halloween photos.”

“Sure,” Phil says easily, sliding it out of his jacket pocket and handing it to Dan. He turns back to his conversation with the other men immediately, and Dan nearly rolls his eyes.

Dan goes to type in the password, which has been 1987 for as long as he can remember, and he’s shocked when it doesn’t work. He tries it again, slower, thinking he’s somehow typed it wrong. Still nothing. Poking Phil’s side, he turns the screen to face him.

“What?” Phil asks, his brows furrowed.

“You switched passcodes.” It’s almost an accusation.

Phil looks guilty. “Er, yeah. Mia kept trying to download games to play and I finally just changed it.”

“Okay, fine, what’s the new one?” Dan asks impatiently.

“Uh, ten-nineteen,” Phil answers, already becoming distracted by some joke Chris is trying to tell, his voice slightly loud and obnoxious.

Dan types the numbers in, his mind taking a second to process it after the home screen has already appeared. His mind, still trying to process the meaning of the numbers of the new password, is overwhelmed again at the sight of Phil’s home screen background, which upon closer inspection, is a photo of Dan sleeping.

Dan flushes, trying to cover it up with a cough into his elbow. He clears his throat, tapping on the photo app and scrolling as he leans closer to Phil to speak quietly. “Ten-nineteen?” He asks. “Our anniversary?” He doesn’t specify which one; he doesn’t have to- the only real one they share is the anniversary of the day they met in person.

“Mhm,” Phil half-responds, still not paying much attention to Dan at this point.

Dan sighs, his veins thrumming with something nervous and excited. His hand wobbles a little with it as he turns the phone to Sophie, showing her all the photos they’d taken with the kids that night.

She coos and aww’s at all the right places, asking questions and listening to Dan’s stories of their adventures so far with the kids. It’s refreshing, to talk to another adult outside his immediate family about his kids and all the funny little anecdotes. PJ and Chris want to see the pictures as well, so Dan passes the phone around, beaming at all the compliments about how cute their kids are.

“Well we can’t really take credit for that,” Phil jokes, glancing at Dan with a smile. “But we really are so lucky to have such good kids.”

“Do you reckon you’ll ever have any for real?” Chris asks, a little invasively, Dan thinks.

Still, whatever noodle part of his brain that isn’t running on the same wavelength as the rest, chooses to ask, “What do you mean?”

There’s a brief, awkward pause, before Chris explains. Phil’s hand tightens its grip on the back of Dan’s neck. “I just meant, like... these are foster kids, correct?”

Dan nods. “Yes.”

“Right, so something will happen to them eventually and they’ll leave or whatever happens to foster kids, but will you guys ever have a real family?”

He’s not trying to be mean, Dan reasons. He just doesn’t understand the situation. Dan tells himself this as he blinks back tears, his heart suddenly in his throat at the thought of something, anything, happening to these kids, their kids. And really... really he shouldn’t be surprised. Obviously Chris isn’t entirely wrong, generally children are fostered for less than a year before they either age out of the system or get moved to another home. And then what? Will Dan somehow convince Phil to stay with him, to foster more children to build an emotional connection with? To get far too attached to, only to have those children ripped out of their arms the minute they start to feel like a family? To love like their very own, to-

“That’s not really an appropriate question, Chris,” Phil says in that strong, authoritative voice that he has, sending Dan’s train of thought to a screeching halt. He sends Chris a look, one that shuts him up right there. Turning to look at Dan, Phil’s eyes soften. “Hey, why don’t you call Levi and check up on them? Yeah? I’ll go fetch us some drinks and meet you back here when you’re done, alright?”

Dan nods, numbly. “Okay,” he says, going to stand on stiff limbs. He doesn’t look at anyone at the table as he holds a hand out for Phil’s phone.

“Here,” Phil says, leaning in and kissing his cheek once. “Tell them I say hello and I love and miss them.”

“I will,” Dan agrees before stepping away, scrolling to find Levi’s name in Phil’s contacts. He smiles a little when he sees the little wolf emoji next to his name, recalling very clearly the conversation Phil had with him, asking what Levi wanted his contact emoji animal to be. He’d picked a wolf, saying that it was his favorite animal, and Phil had immediately made a joke about Dan’s surname, as was typical of him.

He’s still thinking about that conversation when Levi answers the phone. “Hey,” he says, sounding a little hesitant.

“Hey Levi, it’s Dan,” he greets.

“Oh,” Levi nearly sounds relieved. “Why are you calling on Phil’s phone?”

“I left mine in the car,” Dan explains. “Are you guys doing okay? Everything alright?”

Levi laughs. “Yes, helicopter dad. Everything is fine.” Dan can hear the smile in his voice and it both eases his mind and squeezes his heart, a heavy reminder of how temporary this connection of theirs really is. “We ordered pizza and ate it in the lounge, just like you said we could.”

“Good deal,” Dan says, glancing over to see if Phil was back at the table yet. He is, but his gaze is on Dan. When their eyes lock, the older man smiles at him softly. Dan can’t help but feel a little warmer. “Phil says to tell you and the twins hi and he loves and misses you all,” Dan relays the message.

Levi snorts, not unkindly. “You guys have been gone for, like, an hour.”

“So?” Dan replies with a little laugh. “That’s an hour longer than we’re usually away from you guys unless it’s a school day. We miss you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi mumbles. “I’ll relay the message.”

“Perfect,” Dan grins. “Thank you. Are the twins waiting for you to hang up so you can play Mario Kart?” He asks knowingly.

“How’d you-“

“I could recognize the distorted sound of the Mario Kart 8 soundtrack in my sleep, bud,” Dan says with a smile.

“Right,” Levi sighs, a whisper of sarcasm in the sound. “Well I’m sure you’re having a blast at your charity whatever thing, so...”

His unsubtle “good riddance” has Dan cracking up. “Alright. I’ll check in again shortly, yeah? You guys be good.”

“Will do. Bye.”

“Bye, Levi,” Dan replies. He waits until Levi has hung up before he slowly returns to the table.

Phil is speaking quietly to Chris as Dan approaches, so Dan pretends to be distracted on his phone, straining his ears to listen.

“Look, I know you weren’t, Chris. But Dan’s... we’ve gotten really attached to the kids, okay? So just... choose your words better.”

Chris looks guilty, but nods. He’s about to say something when Dan finally looks up from the phone, sending Phil what he hopes appears to be an easy grin. “The kids are fine,” he announces, sliding into his seat. “They had some pizza and they’re playing Mario Kart.”

Phil grins, dropping his arm back across the back of Dan’s chair. “See? I told you they’d be fine.”

Dan rolls his eyes, turning away pointedly. “Whatever,” he mumbles.

“Here’s your drink, love,” Phil says, his voice taking on a softer pitch as he hands Dan a glass of what Dan assumes is some type of punch.

“Phil’s really got the parental controls on tonight, he’s even censoring Danny’s drink,” Chris announces in a teasing sort of voice.

Dan sends him a wry look. “I’m driving, actually. I’m assuming he’s just looking out for me by getting me something without alcohol.”

Chris looks immediately embarrassed. “Er. Right, yeah.”

PJ shakes his head at him mockingly. “When will you learn, Chris, when will you learn?”

Chris mumbles something probably rude under his breath, but Dan chooses to ignore it in favor of thanking Phil for his drink. Phil smiles, pleased, and Dan finds himself unable to care about the other people around them at all.

~~~

There’s quiet conversation for a few more minutes until someone takes to the stage, thoroughly quieting everyone down. Phil whispers to Dan that this is his boss, and Dan, in turn, whispers back that he looks kind of like a cool wizard, with his wiry white beard and round glasses. Phil pinches his waist.

“Welcome, everyone, I’m really excited to see the turnout for the evening. We’re here to support a very good cause, as you are all probably very well aware. Mind Over Matter, the prestigious mental health charity, and also the reason for tonight’s event, has helped thousands of young people struggling with mental illness across the UK. Tonight there will be several speeches made by some of MOM’s leadership, as well as some special guests invited on behalf of the BBC.” He pauses, probably for dramatic effect, and several people applaud during the silence. He grins before continuing. “Of course, this is a fundraiser, so there is a silent auction operating in the B lobby, just down the hall from this room, and there will be several opportunities for donations throughout the course of the night, in between speeches and presentations.”

He speaks a little more, but Dan mostly tunes out, most of it applying to actual employees of the BBC. Phil seems interested, and Dan takes a moment to admire him. He looks good tonight, with his quirky outfit choice and his freshly washed hair swept back in a perfect quiff. The index finger of one hand traces the stem of his champagne glass while the other rests against Dan’s shoulder blade, where he’s rubbing smoothing circles with his thumb.

Phil’s gaze suddenly flickers over to Dan, startling him. Phil sends him a confused smile and Dan shrugs sheepishly. It’s a wordless conversation, barely even a conversation at all, really- more so just an acknowledgement of the other’s presence. It’s nice, the way it fills Dan with a comfort, bone deep.

“And of course, Mind Over Matter has been kind enough to donate some of their merch, so be sure to pick up a gift bag on your way out, everyone,” Phil’s boss, who Dan vaguely remembers is called Greg, is saying. He clears his throat as if he’s coming to an end of his announcements, which Dan is secretly relieved by. “The presentations will start shortly, led by Mind Over Matter’s co-founder, and my co-host for the evening, Bryony Matthewman. Before she takes the stage, dinner will be brought out, courtesy of our caterer for the evening...” Greg trails off on another ramble, thanking the catering company and anyone else who donated or helped set the fundraiser up in any way.

“Bit of a shaggy dog, innit?” Phil whispers right into Dan’s ear, his voice deeply northern.

Dan flinches away in surprise at the closeness. Phil places his palm on the back of Dan’s neck and squeezes gently. “A what?” Dan whispers back, their faces incredibly close.

“A shaggy dog,” Phil repeats.

Dan shakes his head, uncomprehending. “I don’t know what the hell that means,” he says with a smirk. “I don’t speak hobbit language, or whatever the hell.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “C’mon. That’s a British thing. A shaggy dog?” At Dan’s blank stare, he huffs and moves imperceptibly closer, probably noticing the subtle questioning glances from their table mates. “A made up story? Or like a long story with no point?”

Dan blinks. “You couldn’t have just said he talks a lot or something? You had to go full northern?”

With another huff, Phil reaches up and tugs on the hoop of Dan’s earring in reprimand. “Hush.”

Grinning, Dan shifts his face just enough to brush his lips against Phil’s cheek. “You started it.”

“Oi,” Chris says teasingly from across the table. Luckily, the stage is empty now and a dozen or so people in white uniforms are moving around the room with food trays. “Stop flirting in front of my salad,” he says, gesturing pointedly to the salad that’s been placed in front of him.

Dan rolls his eyes as the waiter makes his way around the table, delivering salads to each of them. “Sorry,” Phil says, not an ounce of sincerity in the way he smirks around the words.

“Don’t listen to him,” Tom says from Phil’s right side. “He’s just jealous that he doesn’t have a relationship as cute as yours.”

Chris makes an indignant squawking sound at this, which everyone at the table laughs over. “I am not!” He protests.

“Okay, sure,” PJ says. He nods like he’s being genuine. “You’re definitely not a jealous bitch.”

Chris mumbles something scathing about what he thinks about their affection, but Dan’s too busy trying to manage his face-splitting grin to even process it. Phil tuts from beside him, but a glance proves that he looks pleased by the comment as well. Dan has a fleeting moment of disappointment; these are Phil’s coworkers and friends, it’s important for them to believe the charade that is their fake engagement. As much as some newish part of Dan would like to believe that Phil is happy about their perception of them for the same reason Dan is happy, he knows that’s likely not the case.

He makes a split-decision right then, watching that relaxed smile on Phil’s face. Tonight is a performance, the fundraiser their stage, Phil’s coworkers their audience. And for tonight, Dan would be the best actor he could. And as someone who had been a theatre kid in school, he knew the best method actors used real-life emotions and thoughts to enrich their acting. So for tonight, with their perception in the hands of his acting abilities, Dan would allow himself to indulge in those emotions to impress their audience.

As his hand falls to Phil’s thigh, he tells himself this is part of the script. That the way Phil glances at him, a raised brow, is penciled in as a blocking note rather than a reaction of surprise. He smiles at his best friend, the portrayal of his love interest for the night, and allows himself a moment without pretenses or a mask of uncertainty. If Phil notices the shift in Dan’s face, he doesn’t react.

Instead, he nudges Dan’s elbow with his own. “Can I have your croutons?” He asks, nodding to Dan’s food.

It’s not a line. None of it ever is, with Phil. “Sure. If I can have some of your cherry tomatoes,” Dan says, lips quirking on a grin.

Phil nods, smiling excitedly as he moves his bowl closer to Dan’s. They pick at each other’s salads, trading the things they like or don’t like out of each other’s bowls until they have what they want. “Is that cheese?” Phil asks, pointing to something.

Dan squints at it before shrugging. “I think it’s a lettuce.”

Phil pouts. “If it’s not I don’t want it. Will you take it?”

“I’ve got lettuce,” Dan argues.

Stabbing the mystery bit with his fork, Phil holds it in front of Dan’s mouth. “Please?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, alright,” he sighs, opening his mouth and allowing Phil to pop it in. He chews thoughtfully. “It was a lettuce.”

Phil shrugs, already picking at his food again. “Better safe than sorry.”

Dan turns to roll his eyes at Phil for their tablemates to see, but instead he finds them all pretending not to look at them. “What?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow up.

PJ shrugs, looking entirely too amused. “Nothing,” he sings. “Just funny seeing the two of you in action.”

Blinking, Dan shrugs. “Okay?”

Sophie swats at her boyfriend’s arm playfully. “He just means it was interesting to see how in sync you both are.”

Phil speaks up then, half-paying attention as he is. “We’ve been together for ten years,” he comments, almost off-handedly. “I reckon we’re as in sync as two people can be.”

Chris whistles lowly. “Ten years is a long time, innit?”

Dan’s not sure if it’s rhetorical or not. “Well, where were you ten years ago? Does it feel like it’s been a long time?” He asks him.

The man surprisingly nods immediately. “Forever ago, actually. Being in uni and drunk off my face every night with Peej. Feels like ages ago now.”

Not sure how to respond to that, Dan shrugs, taking a sip of water. “Well. I don’t know, ten years hasn’t seemed that long to me.” He looks over at Phil and risks being overly sappy, under the pretense of playing his part. “Not long enough, I reckon.”

Phil looks up as he says this, looking genuinely surprised when they lock eyes. There’s an intensity there that would usually scare him, but Dan refuses to look away now. Instead, he just offers a little smile. Phil returns it immediately, without any hesitation.

Chris makes a gagging sound. “Ten years in and you still look at each other like you’ve hung the bloody moon or something,” he sounds both awed and disgusted. Dan can’t help but laugh. “I reckon if I’d been with someone that long I’d be ready to rip their face off, I wouldn’t be giving them Bambi eyes over salad.”

Phil cuts his eyes to him with a sly grin. “But that’s the thing, Chris, you’ve not been with someone for ten years. In fact, you’ve barely managed two.”

There’s a chorus of laughter around the table, but Chris takes it in stride, shrugging. “What can I say? I can’t be tied down, I’m just not made for that kind of life.”

Almost imperceptibly, Dan and Phil share a look. Phil’s eyes are dark in the light of the room and he gives Dan a look that gives him shivers. Dan clears his throat before looking away, his cheeks flushed. “Believe me, the right person can change that,” he says simply. Promptly, as he’s suddenly feeling giddy with whatever brief moment he and Phil just shared, Dan changes the subject. “So are any of you involved with the charity?”

They move the conversation to the event of the evening, and Dan’s genuinely happy to listen to everyone discuss the mental health organization and what they do, especially as it gives him a distraction from the way Phil’s decided to place his hand so delicately on his knee. It’s a light touch, punctuated occasionally with a brush of his fingers or a squeeze, and by the time the spokesperson from Mind Over Matter takes the stage, Dan’s heart is a hummingbird in his chest.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Bryony, as Greg introduced me earlier. Mind Over Matter is so very pleased to be here this evening, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to have the chance to work with the BBC for such a good cause.” She continues speaking about the charity’s mission statement and the logistics of running a mental health charity, and Dan finds himself enraptured in a way he wasn’t with Greg.

He actually genuinely cares about mental health charities and already donates to several, but now that he’s listening to someone from inside one of those charities, he realizes how much more involved he’d like to be. He makes a mental note to grab more information about the charity later in the night, listening intently as Bryony shares some of her own struggles with mental illness and the stigma that surrounds it.

Without his conscious consent, his body tenses up when she begins speaking about depression and how it has affected her life. It’s not that depression is a universal truth for every person that has it, as it comes in many flavors and shapes and sizes, but hearing someone else’s story about something he’s struggled with most of his life puts him on edge. A touch to his hand has him flinching, and Phil shushes him softly. Dan glances at his blurry face, blinking quickly to bring him back into focus.

“Breathe,” Phil murmurs, almost silently. He holds Dan’s clenched hand in both of his, holding eye contact as Dan forces himself to relax. Phil smiles when Dan unfurls his fist, squeezing Phil’s fingers several times.

“Charities like Mind Over Matter helped support me when I needed it most. I wanted to give that gift to someone else, and be a voice for someone struggling.” Bryony appears to be at the end of her speech. “Throughout the course of the night, you’ll hear several other stories, both from speakers and videos we’ve put together, and I hope they inspire you to be the change in someone else’s life. Thank you.”

An applause Greg’s introduction couldn’t have challenged erupts as Bryony leaves the stage, Dan included this time. His mind is running on a loop of what she said, repeating the words over and over. He realizes, somewhere, that he’s desperate to find a way to integrate his passion for mental health awareness into how he contributes to the world. All he’s ever wanted was to put more good into the world than bad, and part of that need has been soothed by his insistence to foster. Now, his mind is being opened to a new realm of possibilities he hadn’t even considered before.

He’s so focused on thinking of all the ways he could make a change that it takes him a moment to realize that Phil is trying to speak to him. “Dan,” he says, almost panicked.

“Hm?” Dan hums, half-listening.

Phil lets out a breath of relief. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” Dan murmurs. “Just thinking. That was a lot, right? Like a lot to think about?” He looks up at Phil, waiting for him to agree.

Phil flicks his gaze between the stage and Dan several times before he seems to get it. “The speech?” When Dan nods, Phil shrugs. “I mean, it was a good speech. She’s a good spokesperson.”

Dan nods, looking away. Phil’s not insensitive by any means, he just didn’t always get the desire to speak out the way Dan did. He was a more passive and peaceful sort of thinker, preferring to exist in the comfort of his own mind when it came to his belief system, which generally reflected Dan’s own, even if it was more subtle. “Right,” Dan says belatedly.

There’s a flicker of confusion on Phil’s face as he glances at Dan, but before he can say anything else, their waiter has returned to clear their plates away.

“I hear we’re having chicken parm tonight,” Chris says, rubbing his hands together conspiratorially.

“That’s one of my favorites,” Dan says mildly, his mind still running in circles around something else entirely.

“Except when I’m cooking it,” Phil jokes, smiling broadly when his coworkers laugh. He’s good about making light jokes at his own expense sometimes, and Dan’s always sort of admired that about him.

“I didn’t say that,” Dan protests with a roll of his eyes. He considers it, then shrugs. “I am a bit better at cooking, though.”

Phil snorts, quite unattractively. “Okay, Mr. Boil the Pasta Without Water,” he taunts.

Dan swats at him playfully. “Hey,” he protests weakly. “I don’t tell everyone about your cooking failures. Remember the dalgona coffee? Or the brownies? Or the-“

He’s interrupted by Phil placing his fingers over his mouth. “Okay! We get it, we get it.” He sounds sheepish.

PJ tuts. “I didn’t realize we’d be getting all this hot gossip.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Do tell us more, Daniel.”

Phil’s quick to interrupt there, of course. “How about we don’t and say we did,” he says blandly, looking vaguely worried.

“What’s the matter, Philly?” Chris teases. “Afraid he’ll tell us all your secrets?”

Before Phil can answer, Dan shakes his head. “Nah, he’s just afraid I’ll tell you about how he tried to cook a pizza while it was still in the box,” he says smoothly.

“Dan!” Phil squawks, indignant.

“Oops,” Dan says, grinning at him.

Shaking his head, Phil crosses his arms, looking the epitome of a spoiled child. “That was supposed to be a secret,” he whines. He’s playing it up for the sake of the people watching and laughing at their little argument, but Dan allows it. It’s nice to have a moment to be sort of themselves, banting about things that happened even before all the pretending. Not to mention it’s kind of adorable when Phil pouts.

“Not anymore!” Dan says cheerfully. He sees the same waiter from before approaching their table again, this time with a tray of food. Sure enough, there are several plates on it, each of them full of a serving of chicken parm. He’s careful as he passes them out, and Dan’s sure to thank him politely when his plate is placed in front of him.

As everyone tucks into their food, another presentation starts, and after that the chatting is at a minimum. Other than when the waiters swoop in to collect the dishes between the speeches, there’s not a whole lot of time for small talk, and Dan spares a moment to be grateful for that. Despite how much he’s genuinely and unironically enjoying himself, he’s not sure he likes the way he’s put himself on this stage, their every move speculated on by Phil’s closest coworkers. He tries to tuck that thought away for now. He’s having a good night; they both are, he thinks, so there’s no point in ruining it for himself because of his own self-doubt or whatever his mind is conjuring up now.

Eventually, the evening begins winding down. Greg takes to the stage to remind everyone to stop by the silent auction on their way out, something everyone could have filtered in and out of as they pleased throughout the night. He also thanks everyone for coming and reminds them to pick up a gift bag on the way out as well. Bryony comes back to the stage for a thank-you message as well, and then everyone slowly starts mingling, wandering over to other friends and coworkers they hadn’t had the chance to speak to yet.

“This is the part I was dreading,” Phil mumbles. “We got here late enough that we could avoid it then but there’s no way to avoid all the small talk now.”

Dan drops a hand to his thigh and squeezes reassuringly. “It’ll be alright, baby. I’m the master of escaping social situations, remember? We’ll be out of here in no time.”

Phil grins at that, and Dan’s heart flutters at having that lovely gaze on him. “I’m holding you to that, you know.”

With a smirk, Dan turns away, looking over at Sophie and PJ. “It was really lovely to see you both again, but we should probably go ahead and say goodbye to everyone. We don’t want to be too late getting home to the kids.”

Sophie nods understandingly. “Oh of course! It was great to see you two.” She smiles at PJ then, nudging his arm. “Small world, huh?”

PJ grins, the expression almost cat-like, as he glances over at them. “The smallest, really. Dan, lovely to see you again, mate. You and Phil should join us for game night sometime.” He doesn’t sound like he’s kidding, the invitation genuine.

“Sure,” Dan agrees with a noncommittal shrug.

Phil stands then, placing his hand on Dan’s shoulder as he says his goodbyes. “PJ, Chris, Tom, I’ll see you all at work Monday. Sophie, it was great seeing you again!” His thumb brushes over Dan’s collar, sending a shiver up Dan’s spine inexplicably. “C’mon, love. I ought to go say goodbye to Greg.”

Dan nods and stands, waving to Phil’s coworkers as they make their way from the table. They get several paces away before Dan grins, knocking his elbow against Phil’s. “Told you we’d get out of it quick.”

Phil rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t hold my breath,” he mutters, straightening his posture up when they get closer to the stage. “Greg’s a talker.”

Dan smirks, slipping his hand into Phil’s. “So am I.”

~~~

It turns out Phil wasn’t kidding about Greg’s talking ability. He rambles for nearly twenty minutes, seemingly without taking a breath. Dan tries to take several opportunities to slip away, but each time, Greg manages to start in on something else, keeping them stood there nodding along politely, pretending to care. Eventually though, Greg seems to run out of things to say, and Phil takes the chance to pretend to check the time on the watch he’s wearing, sending Dan a look, his lips pursed. “I hate to say this, but Dan and I really should be going,” he says, his lips twitching into a very convincing disappointed pout.

“Oh that’s too bad!” Greg says, looking genuinely let down. “We were going to invite you out for a drink.”

Dan’s quicker than Phil this time, sending the older man a helpless sort of shrug. “We’d love to, but with the kids at home and this being our first night away from them, we really should be getting home.”

Greg nods sadly. “I understand.” He claps Phil on the shoulder and Dan can tell just how annoyed the gesture makes him. “Well, Phil, I appreciate you being here, always glad to have a chance to sit and chat with you.”

Phil smiles, his mouth tight. “Right. You too, Greg.” He turns to Greg’s wife and smiles a little more genuinely. “It was lovely seeing you again, Marianne.”

The brunette smiles and nods. “And you as well.” She glances at Dan with a polite smile. “It was nice meeting you, Dan.”

Dan offers an easy grin. “You too, both of you,” he extends the sentiment to Greg, who responds with a nod.

“Cheers, lads. See you on Monday, Phil,” Greg bids them a goodbye, waving with the hand holding his champagne flute.

Phil waves before taking Dan’s left hand in his right, leading him to the exit. They’re nearly to the door when Phil pauses, giving Dan a sheepish smile. “Do you care if I stop by the loo really quick?”

Dan rolls his eyes but releases his hand. “Go, go. I’d rather you didn’t wet yourself in my car.”

Phil’s nose crinkles delicately at that. “I’m not a toddler, Dan, I would never!”

Hiding his grin, Dan pushes him gently in the direction of the restrooms. “Sure, bub. Go ahead. I’m gonna go snatch another one of those little biscuits.”

Phil’s eyes light up at this. “Will you get me one? The ones with icing?”

Dan huffs playfully. “Obviously. Who do you take me for?”

There’s a precious grin on Phil’s face as he leans in and presses a kiss to Dan’s cheek. “You’re the best. I’ll be right back.”

~~~

Phil takes nearly fifteen minutes in the loo, and Dan’s starting to get a bit annoyed when he shows up in the foyer where Dan’s waiting, looking a little out of breath. “You okay, mate?” Dan asks, his voice a little teasing.

“Never better,” Phil grins. “Ready to go?” He asks, reaching out to hold Dan’s hand as they walk.

Dan nods wordlessly. They’re handed a gift bag each at the door, and Phil chivalrously offers to carry both of them to the car. They’re quiet as they walk, both of them lost to their own bubble of thoughts as their hands swing between them.

“Did you have a good time?” Phil asks into the silence.

Dan glances at him, finding an almost nervous look on Phil’s face. “I did, actually, yeah,” Dan says with a smile and a squeeze of Phil’s fingers. “I really enjoyed hearing all of the ways to get involved with the charity and stuff.” Phil nods along, looking relieved. Dan nudges his elbow with his own gently to get his attention. “Thank you for inviting me,” he says softly.

Phil slows his steps a little, really looking at Dan before he speaks. “I know how much mental health means to you, Dan. I just... I figured that you’d enjoy something like this.”

Dan nods, looking down at the pavement below their shoes. “I did.”

“Did you get to speak to everyone you wanted to? I know lots of people were handing out information,” Phil says, changing the subject a little. Dan’s secretly a little pleased; he’d rather not talk about how much the gesture of Phil inviting him to such a public event means to him.

“I think so, yeah,” Dan nods.

Phil nods too, slowing to a stop as they’ve reached Dan’s car. “That’s good. I, um... I actually went and spoke to the lead speaker, Bryony?”

Dan glances up at him. “Yeah?”

Phil nods, not quite looking directly at him. “Yeah, I figured... I figured if you had an in with someone you knew at a mental health charity the school might finally let you do that assembly about mental illness and how to get help.”

“I...” Dan stutters out, suddenly at a complete loss for words. The thoughtfulness of the gesture is setting in, and all he can think about is how much Phil means to him, how much it means to him that Phil would suffer through his social anxiety in order to talk to someone for Dan, without Dan even knowing. Dan can only stare at him in shock, eyes and mouth wide and gaping as he struggles to comprehend how absolutely selfless this man is.

“I know it’s not a lot,” Phil rushes to say, clearly taking Dan’s silence the wrong way. “And it’s not my business anyway, but I- I know how much you’ve wanted to do that for the school, and I thought maybe this would be a good place to start and-“

Dan interrupts him then, flinging himself forward and wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck. He’s half a second away from kissing him, but at the last second his lips change course and land firmly against Phil’s lovely cheek. Despite the change Dan’s felt this evening in that aspect of their behavior, this is one moment of their genuine real relationship that Dan doesn’t want to mar with the confusion of his romantic feelings. So instead he hugs his best friend as tightly as he can, feeling full of something warm and fuzzy when Phil wraps his arms around Dan’s waist and squeezes.

“Thank you,” Dan whispers. “Thank you so much, that...” he clears his throat. “That means more than you’ll probably ever know.”

Phil kisses his cheek, right where his dimple is. “Of course. Anything for you, you know that,” he says, his voice soft and full of feeling.

Dan squeezes him once more before releasing him, giving him another smile before they get into the car. Almost immediately, their hands find each other again over the console separating them, and Dan resigns himself, happily, to a one-handed drive.

~~~

The flat is quiet when they get home, both of them more than ready to get out of their suits and into some pajamas. Phil murmurs that he’s going to go put the gift bags away and Dan nods before going to check on the kids. As expected, the twins are fast asleep in their beds, and Dan creeps through the room, making sure each of them are tucked with their favorite plushies. He kisses the top of both of their heads, and only Mia stirs, just a bit.

Walking down the hall, he hears quiet voices and finds Phil, minus his shoes and suit coat, talking to Levi in the kitchen. “And they didn’t give you any trouble going to bed on time?”

Levi shakes his head with a smile. “Not at all. I uh... pulled a Dan and stayed in there to read to them for a while and they both just fell asleep.”

Phil looks relieved. “Perfect. Did we leave you enough money for the food? Did you all have enough to eat?”

Dan steps behind him then, wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist with a hum. To his credit, Phil doesn’t even jump at the suddenness of the contact. “Stop interrogating him, you sound like me,” he chastises, grinning at Levi over Phil’s shoulder.

Phil huffs, crossing his arms. “You worried before, I’ll handle worrying after. Go to bed.”

Dan shakes his head, kissing Phil’s jaw before stepping away. “I don’t really think that’s how this works,” he says. He turns to Levi then with a smile. “You guys were okay I take it?”

Levi nods, looking tired but happier than Dan’s seen him since he moved in. “We were fine. I’m exhausted though, I’ll give you that. I don’t know how you guys do it.”

Phil flicks his gaze over to Dan’s and they share a smile. “It’s worth being tired,” Dan says simply. “But you’re a kid too, and the kids shouldn’t have to be tired for doing the parents job, so it’s time you head to bed too, bub.”

There’s a flicker of disappointment on Levi’s face and then it’s gone as he nods in agreement. “Okay,” he says, turning to leave the kitchen with a little wave. Before he gets too far though, he spins back around, quirking a brow. “Did you guys have fun on your date?” He asks with a smirk.

Dan flushes, not even sure why it embarrasses him for Levi to call it that. Before he can answer, Phil puts his hand on Dan’s back, nodding for the both of them. “We did, yeah.”

“So does this mean you guys trust me enough now to leave us home alone every now and again? You could have a weekly date night,” Levi says with a very sweet smile. A twitch of his lip shows that he’s mostly kidding.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Thank you for the suggestion, Levi. We’ll think about it,” Dan nods to the stairs, his arms crossed. “To bed, kiddo. Don’t forget about therapy tomorrow.”

Levi nods, waving half heartedly as he leaves the kitchen. “Yeah, alright. Night, guys.”

“Goodnight, Levi,” Phil calls. He turns to face Dan with a smile. “The twins okay?”

Dan nods, pulling his suit jacket off. “Yeah, they’re all tucked in with their plushies.”

“Good,” Phil nods, leading the way back to their bedroom. He’s flung his jacket across the bed and Dan makes a petulant noise when he sees it. “Sorry,” Phil grins, going to hang it up. “What pjs do you want to wear?” He asks, pulling one of their dresser drawers open and sifting through it.

“Mm. Just a shirt, please. Something cozy,” Dan mumbles, taking his shoes off and neatly placing them back on the rack. He places Phil’s beside them, smiling at how neat it looks.

“Here,” Phil says, handing Dan a folded up tee. When he grabs it, Dan realizes it’s one of the shirts Phil had gotten him on a family vacation to Florida a few years ago. It’s got little cats in space suits and is quite honestly the best piece of clothing he owns, in his opinion.

“Thanks,” Dan says, working on unbuttoning his shirt. The bundled up t-shirt in one hand makes it difficult to make any progress though, and Dan makes an annoyed noise through his nose. “Stupid shirt-“ he mutters darkly to himself, tugging on the second button aggressively.

“C’mere, idiot,” Phil says fondly, knocking Dan’s hands out of the way in order to actually unbutton the shirt. Dan watches his hands, lips quirking when he notices how they’re shaking.

“Your hands are shaky,” he murmurs softly. “You okay?”

Phil lets out a quivering laugh. “You just make me nervous, sometimes.”

“Me?” Dan asks, incredulous. “How?”

Phil gives him a look, but doesn’t answer. His knuckles brush Dan’s stomach as he gets to the last couple of buttons, and Dan can’t stop a shiver from crawling down his spine. Phil pauses his movements, eyes flickering up to meet Dan’s again. The blue-green of his eyes is almost completely gone, his pupils blown out and making his eyes look darker than Dan knows them to be. Dan’s breath catches as their gazes lock, the soft sound audible in the limited space between them.

Swallowing hard, and trying not to spook him too much, Dan raises his hands carefully to Phil’s neck. He brushes his fingers against the bow tie around Phil’s neck, and he shivers. “I’m gonna take your tie off, yeah?” Dan whispers. Any amount of volume sounds like screaming right now, in this quiet space between them.

“Yeah,” Phil breathes back. His hands slowly drop down to undo the last two buttons of Dan’s shirt, and he hesitates, his hands poised in the air at Dan’s waist. His eyes drop from Dan’s gaze to stare at the bare skin of his chest and he cautiously reaches out, tucking his hands inside Dan’s open shirt and smoothing over his waist, just above the band of his trousers.

Just that innocent contact has Dan flushing, and he drops his gaze to where he’s undoing Phil’s bow tie, trying to hide from Phil’s searching eyes. “You looked so good tonight,” Dan says, the confession almost inaudible.

“Yeah?” Phil whispers back, squeezing the bare skin at Dan’s hips.

Dan nods, tugging the tie loose and tossing it on the dresser. He focuses on his hands as he undoes the buttons of Phil’s shirt, working slowly down the line. “I was really proud to be your date for the evening.”

Phil makes a soft noise at that. “Dan...” He takes a deep breath, almost like he’s steeling himself for something, and suddenly Dan can’t do it. He knows, with how their evening has gone so far, how this chat would go and what it is Phil might be gearing up to say, but right now- Dan can’t hear it. They’ve lived in this little bubble of peaceful in-between for so long, and right now, he isn’t mentally prepared for how their relationship could change if they have the chat they both know is coming.

“All done,” he says, loud in the space they were just occupying. His hands gently press against Phil’s stomach, pushing him out of Dan’s space a bit. “I’m gonna go have a wee and brush my teeth,” he announces, moving to step past Phil.

Phil catches his arm before he can get too far. He’s got a pained sort of look on his face. “We need to talk, Dan.”

And there it is.

“I... I know, just... not tonight, please? We’ve had such a good night, just... tomorrow?” Dan practically begs.

Phil looks reluctant, but nods slowly, running his palm gently down the length of Dan’s arm before it falls away. “Alright. Tomorrow.”

Dan nods in agreement. He’s already trying to think of a way to prolong it past tomorrow, but he’s not about to tell Phil that. Nodding to the bathroom, he holds up his pjs. “Be right back.”

When Phil nods, Dan quickly disappears into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, something he very rarely does anymore. His hands are shaking as he goes to have a wee, and when he’s finished he washes his hands a little too vigorously, as if that’ll help with the tremors. He’s just washing his face when the bathroom door opens and Phil pops his head in.

“Remember to take your meds,” he reminds, studying Dan in the mirror.

Dan nods, gesturing to the pillbox on the tap. “I’m going to,” he replies with a little smile.

Phil looks relieved. He glances around the bathroom almost awkwardly. “Is it okay if I...”

Dan’s quick to nod, trying to force a casualness he doesn’t really feel. “Yeah, course.”

He tries not to watch as Phil comes in, moving through his own nightly routine of washing his face, brushing his teeth, and taking his contacts out. Dan’s a step behind him, just reaching for his toothbrush when Phil is fastening the top back on his contact lens pot, and instead of leaving, Phil leans against the counter and watches him.

It makes Dan feel even more nervous, and now his hands are shaking even more as he tries to ignore the way Phil’s very obviously studying him. “Quit looking at me,” he mumbles around a mouthful of toothpaste.

Phil’s got a smile on his face when Dan glances at him. “Sorry.” It doesn’t sound very genuine, but then he sighs, reaching out and tugging gently on the hem of Dan’s t-shirt. “You just look kind of adorable in that shirt,” he says with a sweet smile.

Dan flushes red all over at the compliment. “Shut up,” he grumbles before spitting out the foam in his mouth and reaching for their little rinse cup. It doesn’t hit him until after he’s swishing the water around in his mouth that this is another one of their things, another little domestic object that they share, undisputed. He places it gently back on the tap before spitting the water out. “I’m tired,” he announces, turning to leave the bathroom without another glance at Phil.

He crawls into bed, a real exhaustion suddenly wearing on him as he does, proof of the full day they’ve both had. Phil slides into bed beside him after turning the light off, casting the room in a near pitch-darkness. He shifts around a bit before finally settling, and then it’s so dead quiet that Dan nearly stops breathing, the sound shockingly loud in the silence.

“Come here,” Phil says softly.

“Why?” Dan mumbles, unthinkingly.

Phil lets out a huff. “Because I want to hold you, that’s why, rat.”

“Oh,” Dan whispers. He slowly shifts over, crowding into Phil’s space gradually. Phil apparently doesn’t have the same patience, as he hooks an arm around Dan’s waist and tugs him right up against his chest.

“Mm,” Phil hums contently in Dan’s ear. “Are you comfy?”

Dan smiles at the low voice. “Yeah, baby, I’m comfy.”

Phil kisses his jaw, close to his ear. “Good.”

They lay in silence for long enough that Dan assumes that Phil has already fallen asleep. He’s proven wrong when he feels another kiss, this one pressed to his hair, followed by Phil squeezing his waist. “You okay?” Dan mumbles, something worrying in the strength of Phil’s grip.

“I’m fine,” Phil says dismissively. There’s an audible hesitance in the following silence until he whispers, “Did you really have a good night?”

Dan tilts his head back a little to smile at him. “Of course I did.” He nuzzles into Phil’s chest, leaving a fleeting kiss on the collar of his t-shirt. “I wanted to say thank you again, by the way. For the whole...” he gestures vaguely. “Talking to Bryony for me. That was really sweet of you.”

Phil kisses his forehead. Dan feels so small in his embrace. “Of course. I mean...” Phil sighs. “Even before the whole fake dating thing, I would’ve done that. You... you’re my best friend in the whole world, Dan.”

“I know,” Dan replies, his voice cracking in an embarrassing sort of way. “I know that,” he repeats after clearing his throat. “This wouldn’t work if we weren’t.”

“Right,” Phil says slowly. He tugs gently at Dan’s shirt, and Dan feels his heart flutter at the way Phil’s hand sneaks underneath the fabric. His nails lightly scratch over Dan’s back, and the feeling is so light and gentle that it sends shivers all over Dan’s spine. “But even outside of this part of our life, the part that’s just for now... you’ll always be my best friend, yeah?”

Dan swallows hard. Something hot and sick is crawling at his throat, making him feel suddenly fidgety and anxious. He goes to shift and Phil’s hand splays out on his back, holding him steady like he’s falling. He is, in a way.

“Of course, yeah,” he rasps out, half-responding to Phil. The half of his brain that isn’t stupid and filled with mush is trying desperately to come up with a way to curb his anxiety.

He finds that distraction in the way Phil strokes his back in long sweeps, and Dan feels himself relaxing into it. “You look so cute,” Phil whispers.

Dan smiles, his eyes having fluttered shut at some point. “Thanks,” he mumbles.

Phil laughs, and then there’s an easy, sleepy silence spreading over them. Dan’s brain, even as it slows down with the impending sleep, manages one last coherent thought. “Phil?”

“Mhm?”

Dan smacks his lips as he tries to remember what he wanted to ask. “How long do you think we can do this for?”

“What?” Phil asks, nearly inaudible.

“This,” Dan mumbles, punctuating his words with a squeeze of his arm around Phil’s torso. “It’s got a deadline, doesn’t it?” It’s not really a question. Dan knows the answer.

The question’s not completely out of left field, Dan thinks vaguely. It’s been on his mind all night rather consistently, and even before that he’s thought about it from time to time; wondering if they’ll get to celebrate Christmas with the kids, or Easter. Sometimes his mind races past that, to the what if’s beyond their current family unit: what if someday these children were moved somewhere else, would they even be able to cope well enough to move on and foster other children? Or would this whole thing, this whole life they’d built together, come crashing down?

“I don’t know,” Phil eventually answers, after what feels like hours.

Dan nuzzles his chest. “Not forever though, I guess?”

Phil leans down and kisses his cheek softly. “Let’s not think about that tonight. We’ve had a good night and we can talk about this tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Dan says quietly. There’s a lot on their plate for tomorrow’s conversations, it seems. Suddenly Dan’s so exhausted, he feels like he could sleep for a year. He’s not sure how much of that is genuine exhaustion and how much is the desire to avoid the confrontation he knows will be waiting for him on the other side of tomorrow. He kisses Phil’s neck. If this is the last night they have like this, with this same platonic intimacy, he wants it to end on a good note. “Love you,” he mumbles, intentionally low and inaudible.

Phil rubs soft circles between his shoulder blades. “Love you too, bear.”

#phan #phanfiction #parent!au #parent!phan #foster parent au #bbc producer!phil #school counselor!dan #fake relationship #friends to lovers #best friends #if you don't love me pretend #iydlmp #chapter 20

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himbothomas · 3 years

Text

Video Games || 2018 || PT. 1

“Your house is nice.”

Dean says, mostly to be polite but also cause he means it. Levi scoffs, leading him around the cluttered kitchen island towards the basement steps. His older sister, Sabrina, had already stalked upstairs, but she’d smiled when Dean told her she was a good driver, and had let him pick out which Paramore CD to play. She smelled really good, too, but Dean wasn’t about to risk one of the only friendships he had. And, until yesterday when he asked him to hang out after school today, Levi had been strictly a practice and class friend. They usually had to run laps together for dicking around between drills and usually got detention together for dicking around between classes, but this was different. It’s not like Dean was hurting for friends-everyone liked him and he and most of the other 11th graders on the football team hung out together in a big group, but no one has ever invited him over to their house. Just him.

And Levi. Dean really likes Levi. Really likes him. He, Dean notices as they settle on the well worn couch, also smells really good.

Shit. Fuck. Dean stops just short of shaking himself. He-well he wasn’t gay. He likes girls. But he also likes…Levi. It’s stupid and Dean knows it-the best thing that could come out of acting on those sorts of feelings is getting completely ostrichized. He’d be lucky if he didn’t end up hospitalized, for that matter. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t look. Or think about him before he falls asleep. Or purposefully get detention for the third time in a week so they could keep hanging out. Levi settles next to him, and it’s not weird for Dean to look, so he does. Curly black hair and eyes that were green in the right light. A tan that was half freckles and a quarter Puerto Rico and a smile that keeps Dean up at night, one he returns easily.

“Oh.” Levi says, standing again to grab the Xbox controllers. Dean tries not to look at his ass but it’s right there. Maybe he just likes nice asses. That’s not that weird.

Levi hands him the controller and continues to fuck with his Xbox.

“Madden or call of duty?”

Dean scoffs “You think after finally being done with football season, I wanna play football on screen?”

“So you suck at Madden?” Levi responds, booting up the game and laughing when Dean flips him off.

“No I’m just trying to be a good guest-“

“You just flipped me the bird-“

“I don’t think it’s polite to kick your host’s ass within 20 minutes of arrival.”

“Whatever.” Levi says, sitting back on the couch and closer to Dean. It’s just because he has wired controllers and doesn’t want to stretch the cord out. Dean has to stop from physically yelping when their knees touch. He shifts away. Levi, for his part, is texting.

“My mom says you can eat dinner with us if you want.”

The thought of processed food not from the organic grocery store is even more attractive than his friend or his sister.

“Oh cool. Sure, thanks.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “You’re not even gonna ask your parents?”

“Do they still hold your hand when you cross the street, little boy?”

“Fuck off. “Levi shoves him and Dean laughs

“Nah I don’t have to do shit. My mom doesn’t care about me and Kenny forgets my name once football is over.”

“Oh shut up, sad sack your mom cares about you.” Levi rolls his eyes and picks the Dallas Cowboys as his team. Dean let’s him and picks the Patriots simply because-

“Why the fuck did you pick the worst team to ever fucking exist?”

“I figured if you’re gonna insist that I kick your ass I might as well break your spirit too.”

Levi shoves him again and Dean’s mission is accomplished. “Bastard.”

“Yeah, technically.”

Levi rolls his eyes again and they start to play. When Levi is down 40 points, Dean speaks.

“She really doesn’t care though. My mom. Which is cool most of the time cause I can do whatever I want, but last year she forgot about my birthday until it was 6 weeks later.”

Levi turns his head to look at him. “Oh you’re not kidding, are you?”

“Why do you think she bought me a car before I could drive?”

He’d failed his test twice at this point but that didn’t matter.

“That’s uh…pretty fucked, man.”

Dean shrugs. “It is what it is. I’m just wall decor unless there’s football talk or she needs to prove to someone she was once liberal enough to fuck a black guy.” Levi chokes a little on the Gatorade he's drinking.

“Jesus.”

“Nah, his name is Rodney.”

“Do you see him ever?” Levi asks. Something about the genuine curiosity in his voice is so nice that Dean lets him get a first down.

“Ha!”

“Nah. He took off when I was like…4? 5? And then we lived with my grandparents for a bit, which was cool. My grandpa was fucking awesome. But he died when I was like, 9 and mom was already with Kenny at that point so I never felt like I could ask about my dad.”

“You ever wanna meet him?”

Usually people express some sort of false sympathy for him, but Levi is too focused on making passes Dean is letting slide.

“Oh I did. Last Christmas. We met at Waffle House. He asked me for money.”

“What?!” Levi pauses the game and stares at him. “Whatd you do?”

Dean shrugs. “I had like $50 on me so I uh…gave it to him.”

The tips of his ears burn with shame and he looks away, suddenly uncomfortable.

“Jesus I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to like-Thats some tough shit, Deanie.”

Levi had been the first to call him that. Dean has been pretending for almost two and a half years that it didn’t make his heart race.

“It’s ok. Really. It sort of…I know now. It sucks but I can’t do a whole lot about it.”

Levi sighs. “Yeah but I shouldn’t have, like, forced you to tell me.”

“You didn’t.” Dean says easily. “It was actually nice to tell someone that.”

“Thomas.”

“Sanchez.”

“You’ve never told anyone that before?” No one’s eyes have any business looking that pretty when they’re sad. Especially Levi’s. Dean shrugs again, his voice a little lower.

“My mom doesn’t even know I met him. She’d just get pissed at me anyway so like…” he shrugs again. He feels Levi’s eyes on him and it makes his stomach tighten. “Do you wanna get back to the game or is therapy Levi still happening?”

“Stop being an asshole. That’s…so much, dude.”

“Yeah, a real winner runs through my DNA. Glad I kept his name.”

Levi groans. “You make me feel like a dick for being unhappy here.”

“You are a dick. Your mom lets you have video games and a whole basement that I’m guessing you decorated unless she’s a Kate Upton fan.”

Levi snorts. “I don’t entirely feel bad for you and your step dad’s fucking fortune and mansion.”

Dean doesn’t say anything because he knows Levi is right. “I dunno man, I’d give it all up for there to be bacon in the house.”

“What?!”

They keep talking as they play the game. Levi asks questions that are direct without prying. Dean tries to ask them back. He is shortly losing by 70 points. When the cowboys win, he does his best to demand a rematch, which, really, means he gets to keep talking to Levi.

“So-“ Levi says. “I think it’s only fair since you told me your secret, I'll tell you one of mine.”

Dean snorts. “This isn’t a friendship based on transactions you weirdo.”

“Right, yeah. Then I’m gonna be super narcissistic and make it about me.” Dean laughs at this and it’s his turn to pause the game.

“You uh, told me all that stuff because why?” Levi’s voice is different. Less confidence. Dean slowly realizes he’s nervous.

“I trust you.” Dean says, realizing he does as he says it.

“You do?”

“Should I not? Are you as shitty at keeping secrets as you are at realizing things?”

When Levi doesn’t laugh, Dean puts his controller down fully and turns to him. “Dude are you ok?”

“Yeah I uh-so what I told you before was a secret isn’t exactly secret it’s just…something I wanna ask about to see if it’s uh, normal.”

Something small and evil like a shred of hope crawls into Dean's stomach.

“Even if it’s not, Levi, I wouldnt you know, treat you differently for it.”

Levi scoffs again and Dean frowns. “What? I mean it. Have you ever known me to like, you know, judge people or whatever?”

Levi considers this and, as he strokes his thumb slowly up and down his index finger, his voice relaxes. “No. I guess I haven’t. You’re even nice to Dan-Danielle Stevens.”

Danielle was openly trans and braver than anyone else Dean knew.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We live in Texas.”

“And I’m Black. And from Wisconsin.”

Levi laughs. “Two things I always say about you.”

Dean can’t help himself. “You talk about me a lot?”

He could be mistaken, but some of Levi’s freckles darken. “That’s not-do you want me to tell you the question or not?”

“Ask me the question, Leev.” Dean says, hoping he’s right.

Levi takes a breath. They’re facing each other on the couch now, controllers as abandoned as their math homework.

“I was just uh, you know, wondering if you-or if it’s normal or whatever... to think what it’d be like to you know…kiss another guy or something.”

All the blood leaves Dean’s upper body and rushes south.

“I think that’s normal.” Dean says, hoping he didn’t pause too long or answer too eagerly. “I mean it’s 2018, you know. Like all that gay shit is way more accepted so like, we see it more and maybe it sparks some inspiration or something.”

“Right. Ok. Yeah. Like when you see an ad for something a bunch of times and then you finally buy it. “

Dean laughs. “Yeah. Curiosity isn’t bad unless you’re a cat or like, a guy who defuses bombs.”

Levi laughs and moves a bit closer.

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“You’re getting really close to your allotted time slot being up but I’ll see what I can do.”

“I hate you.” Levi says, his smile directed just at Dean is too much to handle.

“Have you ever thought about-”

Before Levi finishes, Dean closes the distance between them, stretching out on the couch and very carefully and purposefully placing his lips on Levi’s.

And its right. It’s so right Dean almost feels bad for being so ashamed of all the times he’s thought about it.

Levi pulls away just slightly and when his thumb comes up to trace Dean’s cheekbone, that evil shred of hope doubles in size.

They stay like that for an hour, getting bolder and more confident with each kiss, their hands firmly on each other’s. When his mom comes home with the smell of pizza lingering with her and calls down the stairs, they pull apart. Without speaking, Dean knows they’re not going to talk about it, but he can’t even bring himself to care-everything he’d been fantasizing about was so much better in practice. Even if Levi never wants to see him again-

“You wanna come over again tomorrow?” Levi says, clearing his throat. His hand covers Dean’s on the couch and gives him a squeeze.

Dean’s fate is sealed before he can even finish saying “Sure.”

#drabble #video games #levi

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reginadeinisseni · 7 months

Video

youtube

Storia dell'antico popolo di Israele

GLI EBREI SONO SEMPRE STATI UN POPOLO DIVISIVO

LE 12 TRIBU' IN CUI ERANO DIVISE SI FACEVANO SEMPRE GUERRA TRA LORO

THE JEWS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A DIVISIVE PEOPLE

THE 12 TRIBES INTO WHICH THEY WERE DIVIDED WERE ALWAYS Waging WAR WITH EACH OTHER