#daniels like i need to make everything about gay sex

[mymycorrhizae]

LMAO DANIEL YOU COULD HAVE PHRASED THIS DIFFERENTLY

#iwtv #interview with the vampire #daniels like i need to make everything about gay sex

[ghostofaboy]

Inter-Agency Cooperation

Summary: Jack runs into another agent on a mission and figures out a new way for them both to get what they want.

Pairing: Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels/Javier Peña Rating: Explicit. Serious over 18s only | Word Count: 2633

Warnings: Frottage, anal sex, public sex, Jack is his own warning

Note: This as not been beta read so I apologize for any mistakes. This is a fic with gay/bi characters. Please make sure you've read the warnings. Header by @beskarandblasters

Of all the places Jack thought he'd find himself today, a dive bar in the middle of butt fuck nowhere watching a cage fight wasn't even on his list. Silly, really, considering all the strange places his Statesman missions took him. All around him, large drunken men in plaid shirts jeered and shouted at the two half naked men in the cage. The entire bar stank of stale beer and sweat, which made Jack long for the heady woody smells of the Statesman barrel room, but he couldn't argue with the view.

In the cage, a massive slapdash metal structure that dominated the center of the rundown establishment, were two young men. Neither could have been older than twenty-five, both striped to the waist in just their jeans, and both covered in blood and sweat. It was the most homoerotic shit Jack had ever seen in such a painfully hetero bar. He had to stifle a laugh whenever he thought about it.

Taking another sip of his shitty beer, Jack glanced over to his mark, only to find him in the exact same spot since the last time he checked. Fast asleep in a corner booth, drooling into his thick, bushy beard. Another quick look around the bar confirmed that no one else was paying either of them any attention; except for one man.

Sat at a table, set off to the corner with a view of Jack, his mark and the cage, was a broody looking motherfucker. Sporting a well-worn leather jacket, a mustache similar to his own and a casual air that oozed practiced confidence, the other man had definitely made him. Everything about this guy said agent, the only question was what kind.

Jack's money was on CIA considering the dealings his sleepy mark was into, but FBI was also a possibility. There was only one way to find out, and considering Jack didn't feel like competing with another agent for the mark, working together was the better option for them both. Eying the other man, Jack could see he was also nursing what passed for beer in this shithole. There was his opening.

Sliding off his barstool, Jack glanced over at the two young men now slumping against each other, gasping for breath, the sweat rolling off them. Swaggering over to the stranger's table, Jack was met with a single raised eyebrow and a tilt of the head.

"Evenin'." Jack tipped his hat, before leaning down slightly closer to the other man. "Enjoyin' the entertainment?"

"Not my usual kind of thing." The other man smirked and Jack could just pick out the hints of a Texan accent. "But when in Rome or whatever."

"I agree." Jack gave a chuckle. "Almost makes up for the terrible beer. Do you mind if I join you?" Jack gestured to the free chair next to the stranger.

The other man didn't respond beyond a small nod, but his eyes watched Jack intently as he slid into the seat. 

“I don’t know about you,” Jack leaned in conspiratorially, “but I usually prefer somethin’ a little stronger. Now, I’m a whiskey man myself. How about you?”

“I’m a cut the bullshit kinda man.” The stranger sat up a little straighter, locking eyes with Jack with a steadiness that could only come from years of experience in the field. “So, why don’t you do us both a favor and tell me who you are and what you want.”

“To the point, I respect that.” Jack nodded. “All right. I’m Agent Jack Daniels, and I’m here keepin’ an eye on that fella over there. Reckon you know who I mean, seein’ as you’ve also got eyes on him. I need him alive as part of an investigation, and I get the feelin’ you do too.”

“You CIA?”

“No.” Jack carefully pulled his fake DIA badge from his jacket, flashing it under the table at the stranger. “You?”

“DEA.” The stranger mimicked Jack, carefully and covertly showing his badge. “Javier Peña. Our guy has links to a new player in the narcotics trade.”

“Indeed he does.” Jack nodded again, glancing around to make sure no one was watching or listening to them. “Amongst other things. Peña, huh? Weren’t you part of the team that took down Escobar?”

Javier shifted in his seat. “That was a long time ago. So what do you want to do? I’m here tonight to see who he meets up with.”

“He ain’t meetin’ up with anyone tonight. He was meant to, but I’ve already made sure that ain’t happenin’.” Jack leaned back in his chair, his eyes drifting over to the cage fighters who were rolling around on the floor trading punches. “The dumb fuck’ll stay here, so I was gonna wait until the mornin’ and tail him back to wherever he’s holed up. You’re welcome to join me.”

Jack watched as Javier’s sharp eyes assessed him thoroughly. Jack could feel those dark eyes taking in every detail of him and knew that on some level Javier wasn’t buying his story. But was it enough for him to leave?

“Fine.” Javier scowled, taking a swig of beer, pulling a face at the taste. “I guess we just wait then.”

“At least there’s a show.” Jack gestured to the cage, scooting his chair back slightly so he was parallel to Javier at the table. “Who’s your money on? The fuckin’ twink blond or the other one?”

“At least that one can grow facial hair.” Javier let out a harsh laugh as he watched the two fighters. 

The crowd was getting impatient now, roaring and booing for the two young men to hurry up and finish. The blond responded by lunging at the darker haired man, who stepped back to avoid the attack. Grabbing hold of each other by the jeans, the two men fell to the floor of the cage again, tussling back and forth, much to the pleasure of the crowd. 

A loud whoop came from one section of the gathered men and as Jack craned his neck to look he could see that the blond had managed to pull down the other man’s jeans, exposing his ass. As the fighters rolled, grabbed and tugged at each other, the jeans worked their way further down until the man’s cock and balls were free. By this point, he was pinned under the blond, who had straddled his back, causing the other man’s legs to kick wildly. The result was a fantastic view of his asshole bared for the crowd, with his heavy dick and balls swinging back and forth. 

Much of the crowd was cheering now, clearly enjoying what they were seeing, as the blond fighter rolled the other man onto his back, yanking his jeans completely off victoriously. Now stark naked, bruised and bloodied, the other fighter slowly climbed to his feet before quickly barrelling into the blond. 

Jack could feel his cock stirring as he watched the younger fighter’s naked body in front of him. He wasn’t alone, and Jack could spot more than a few tented pants in the audience. The blond was grabbing the other fighter’s ass and pulling his cheeks open, giving everyone a good view of a tight puckered hole, and Jack could feel his cheeks heating up as he stared. Pulling his eyes away to grab his hip flask from his belt, Jack’s eye flickered over to Javier. 

The other man was leaning back casually in his chair, giving the impression to anyone that he was completely disinterested in what he was watching. Taking a mouthful of whiskey, Jack let his eyes drift lower, his curiosity getting the better of him, and to Jack’s delight he could see the very obvious outline of an erection in those ridiculously tight jeans.

Holding his flask out to Javier, Jack couldn’t stop himself smirking as the other man jumped slightly, dropping the veneer of coolness for a moment, before taking the flask. Letting his eyes drop back down to the bulge in Javier’s jeans, Jack made sure to let the other man catch him looking as the flask was returned to him. 

“Good show, am I right?” Jack’s voice was a husky whisper as he leaned over to Javier. 

“Uh, sure.” Javier’s cheeks flushed slightly as he glanced around, looking everywhere in the bar except at the two young men glistening with sweat as the naked fighter ripped open the blond’s jeans as he swung him against the cage. His body clattering against the metal, his long cock squashed against the bars.

Jack waiting patiently until Javier’s eyes returned to him before gesturing discreetly at his hard on. “Wanna fuck?”

/////

Crashing around the back of the bar, lips clumsily found lips as teeth clashed and hands roamed. Slamming Jack up against the wall of the building, Javier’s mouth forcefully met his as the two men grunted and moaned in the cold night.

Venturing his hands lower, Jack cupped Javier’s erection through the denim, making the other man buck into his palm as he forced his tongue past Jack’s lips. It had been a long time since Jack had been with someone so aggressively dominant, and it was going straight to his cock, which strained against its confines.

Tugging open Javier’s fly, Jack reached inside, stroking the hard length, feeling it twitch in his hand as Javier’s finger’s tangled into Jack’s hair under his hat. Freeing his own cock, Jack pulled Javier in closer, bringing their erections together, as he began to steadily pump them with his hands. 

Javier moaned into Jack’s mouth an incomprehensible stream of English and Spanish as he trapped Jack against the wall, pinning him with his body as he rolled his hips in time with Jack’s strokes. But it wasn’t enough. Jack needed more. There was something about this grumpy DEA agent that was filling his head with the most obscene thoughts, and damn it if Jack wasn’t going to try and fulfil some of them.

Pulling his head back slightly to break the frantic kiss, Jack nuzzled against Javier’s jaw as the other man growled and ground against him.

“You wanna fuck me?” Jack panted into Javier’s ear, stopping his hand and pulling it away from their cocks. “I got lube and condoms.”

“Yes.” Was the simple, growled response as Javier took a step back, glancing around as Jack fished a condom out of his jacket.

As Javier busied himself putting it on, Jack quickly unbuckled his belt, pulling his jeans and underwear down to his knees. Reaching behind him, Jack pushed a finger into his ass, hissing at the coldness of the lube, before adding a second finger. Satisfied at the lubrication, Jack handed the tube to Javier, who applied a couple of drops before returning it.

Turning round, Jack steadied himself on the wall with his forearms, planting his feet as far apart as he could and bend over slightly to give Javier access to his ass. He could feel a hand on his bare hip and the tip of Javier’s cock lining up with his entrance before, slowly, Javier began to enter Jack. 

Jack let his head drop down as he bit back a moan as Javier’s thick length steady began to fill him. Inch by inch, Javier sank into Jack's hot waiting hole, both hands now gripping Jack's hips as his cock disappeared into Jack's body. Then, once he was buried to the hilt, Javier paused. Jack could hear him muttering and breathing heavily behind him as Jack adjusted to the size.

"You good?" Javier eventually whispered, one hand idly stroking Jack's exposed skin.

"I'm good." Jack hissed back, his arousal fogging his head. "Gimme all you got."

Jack heard a soft chuckled before Javier began to move. Pulling almost completely out slowly, before suddenly slamming back into Jack's waiting ass. Jack bit back a yelp as Javier began to set a rough, unrelenting pace. Each thrust pounding into Jack, rocking him forward until his cheek was barely touching the cold stone of the building. Javier's hips snapped against him as the obscene sound of flesh against flesh filled the night air. 

But it still wasn't enough. Jack was sure at this pace Javier wasn't going to last long, and given their extremely public locale that might be for the best. But Jack needed more. Arching his back, Jack tilted his hips slightly and sure enough the next time Javier plunged into him a jolt of electricity coursed through Jack. That's what he needed.

Javier seemed to quickly pick up on what Jack wanted, grabbing his hip with one hand and his hair with another to keep Jack in the right position. Then, like a jackhammer, Javier began to brutally fuck Jack. 

Jack's skin prickled with heat as the tension building in him threatened to explode. All he could do was get out shaking moans, and Javier huffed and panted behind him. The pace was becoming more erratic now, with each strike of Javier's hips against his ass, Jack could feel the other man's grip on his control slipping. The hands holding him dug their fingers in deep as Javier's tempo faltered. 

Between his legs, Jack's cock swung with every thrust, adding to the tantalizing anticipation as he got closer and closer to the edge. Then with a grunt and a hard snap of his hips forward, Jack felt Javier come. For a few seconds, he stilled, as Jack felt the cock inside him twitching through its release. Then, without warning, Javier began to pounding into Jack again.

The hand on his hip moved, reaching under to gently pump Jack's cock in time with Javier's thrusts. That was enough.

Like falling off a cliff, Jack came, spilling himself onto the dirt as his trembled in Javier's grip. Shockwaves of ecstasy rocked him as Javier continued to roll his hips, hitting that sweet spot, making Jack's knees buckle.

Jack would have been content to rest there against the wall of the bar, Javier's cock still buried in him, as he allowed the high of his orgasm to ebb away for a little longer. But just as his head began to clear of static, he felt Javier tense behind him, then quickly pull his softening length from Jack's now gaping hole.

"Fuck." Javier hissed. "Someone's coming."

"Dammit." Jack muttered, his words slurring together as he fought to pull his jeans up. 

Voices drifted through the cold night air and Jack watched warily as two men stumbled their way towards a truck, laughing heartily as a third more sober looking friend brought up the rear. Turning back to Javier, who was in the process of disposing of the condom, Jack smirked.

"We're good. You wanna head back inside, or are you up for a second round somewhere a little more private?"

"Fuck." Javier chuckled, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and after offering them to Jack, brought one to his lips and lit it. "Tempting. Very tempting, actually. But we have work to do."

"Ah, that dumb fuck'll still be asleep for a few hours yet." Jack waved a hand, but following as Javier started to make his way back round to the front door of the bar. "How about we wait till this place clears out some, then have round two in the men's room?"

Blowing out a puff of smoke, Javier stopped at the door, looking around thoughtfully. There were only a handful of patrons still in the bar now. As predicted, their mark was still sound asleep where they had left him. The fight was over, with the two young men now redressed and counting their winnings at a table in the corner. Leaning against the doorway, Javier turned back to Jack with a smirk.

"You wanna fuck me this time?"

/////

If you enjoy this please give it a reblog to share with other.

#agent whiskey #jack 'whiskey' daniels #javier peña #kingsman #kingsman: the golden circle #narcos #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[monstersinthecosmos]

kacy i wanna know how much of a perv you think daniel is LOL so much fic centers on armand dragging him through an experience *armand* wants. so like what's the ratio of daniel being a freak in his nature (and knowing this about himself) vs armand nurturing this trait into him?

My friend, I’m so glad you asked.

THE THING IS IVE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT and in some ways it’s like, what all of my Devil’s Minion fics are about LOL. And yet! I don’t have a simple answer to this question, the way real questions of nature vs nurture are complicated in the real world in real people!

But let me sketch out a framework of the way I’ve questioned this, and everyone might come to different conclusions and that’s the fun of fandom, because there can exist several thousand versions of Daniel based on the same text! AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS STUFF, I HOPE IT DOESN’T COME OFF AS MANSPLAINING LMAO but I’m excited to talk about this topic. 

Here’s what we know unequivocally from the text:

Daniel is 20 years old in IWTV.

That’s it, that’s the whole list.

And here’s some fanon that people often try to extrapolate from the text: 

💦 That he met Louis at a gay bar. UNCONFIRMED, but I think it’s likely? In the short story the bar is named the Pink Baby, I think that might be a gay bar or a dick reference idk lol. 

💦 Whether or not the Pink Baby was a gay bar, he and Louis essentially cruised each other and left the bar together! Daniel has the excuse that he’s hunting for interviews for his job, Louis has the excuse that he’s an apex predator who preys on people, but ? Take this wherever you need to. (Also blah blah Ricean biting=sex symbolisms.)

💦 Was Daniel bisexual outside of the assumption that most of the VC characters are bisexual/omnisexual? The only clue we get is that when he and Armand practice voyeurism, he hooks up with men and women. There’s a lot of interesting information packed into the voyeurism paragraph, like this line: Yet he lay empty afterwards, staring at Armand, resentful, cold. and I’ve seen the “resentful, cold” comment dissected many times in fandom. Is it the general resentment of their whole relationship? Is it because he wants to fuck Armand and not randos? Is it because he only wants the Blood? Does he not consent to being used like a zoo animal? Is he gay and doesn’t want to fuck women? Is he straight (minus the orientation-defying vampire attraction) and doesn’t want to fuck men? I’ve seen all kinds of takes on this LOL. But still, no real definitive answer about his orientation in the text.

💦 What did the “roaming the bars of the world” comment mean? Sometimes I read Anne Rice’s language as being kinda lofty and exaggerated but was he ACTUALLY traveling the WHOLE WORLD or is he hyping up that he trolled bars in the Bay Area? Is he FROM the Bay Area or was it a stop in his travels? He worked for a radio station (not in the book, but mentioned in the short story + The Vampire Companion and The Alphabettery) so did he live here, even if he traveled a lot? Was he wealthy before vampires if he was traveling this much, if you think he was a traveler?

AND AFTER ALL THAT, here’s some extra questions where Daniel is FREE REAL ESTATE that every fan has the freedom to make the fuck up:

💦 How much sexual experience did he have at 20? Do we assume that by default as an Anne Rice character he probably had ample teenage sexual experiences, and if he did, is there a quality over quantity aspect to consider? Is the sex we have as teenagers like, all that to write home about LMAO. Do we really understand kinks yet, or do we need to grow up and gain some perspective first? 

💦 As an Anne Rice character, by default, do we assume he & everything else is sexually charged LOL, are the interviews and cruising and taking people home a code for bringing partners home? What percentage of his interviews were also hookups?  

💦 When we talk about nature vs nurture for kinkiness, how micro and macro is this? As a fellow Off the Cuffs fan I know you understand the “radioactive spider bite into kink” concept, and some kinks are so specific to our experiences. But BEING KINKY in itself IS nature, isn’t it? I’ve read some sex & kink theory that kink is (psychologically) more like an innate orientation. IE: in the way you can be straight or gay, some people are also by default turned on by being smacked or by whatever paraphilia. Whatever that thing is, the way it takes shape, is the nurture half. But like, many people can have the same experience and 99% of them don’t develop a paraphilia right? So I think that capability exists in kinky folks at all times, especially when so many of the radioactive spider bites are things that people discover in childhood. ANYWAY I RANTED but I say that to say; DANIEL MOLLOY IS A MONSTERFUCKER, IWTV IS THE PROOF THAT HE IS A MONSTERFUCKER. IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME. 

So I bring up all those questions to encourage everyone to make up their own story with this, but I’ll tell you where I personally landed and how I approach it in my fics!!!

The Daniel in MY OWN fics is 20, single child, estranged from his parents, dropped out of college because he didn’t have ADHD support and was struggling, bisexual and promiscuous! I wonder if he went through that like college freshman thing where he got out of his parents house for the first time and partied a little too hard because he COULD! I like to read “bars of the world” as an exaggeration, I like to think he was a normal guy NOT globe hopping, sticking to the Bay Area, maybe he was out there for college, and guess what! There’s a thriving gay liberation culture there, so he finds some safe spaces to experiment with that! 

However, I think the text leaves space to think he didn’t have a lot of close friends, or wasn’t close with his family, due to the way that he simply ✨fucks off ✨ after IWTV. NOW, that’s just me! Because there’s potential here for a TRAGEDY of people looking for him or grieving him! But idk I just like thinking that he was already on the outs and the interview pushed him over the edge.

So I ask like, does the 20 year old have a ton of kink experience? Is he good at sex? WHAT DOES RESENTFUL, COLD MEAN? Was he celibate during the chase years? Are the voyeurism sessions the first time he’s had sex since his old life? Even if he had random hookups during the chase years, was this qualitatively good sex? Can you truly get into good BDSM on a hookup or do you need a trusted partner? (This is subjective, idk, but!) 

Also, how much kink is theoretical and private (to masturbate to) vs stuff you actually try? Especially if we believe that kink is nature, someone isn’t less kinky if they’re celibate, the way someone isn’t less gay if they’re celibate, or even a virgin. As Daniel becomes more and more obsessed with vampires, and with Armand, does it take over how he jerks off? Does he think about getting bitten? HE LIKES SNUGGLING WITH DEAD THINGS.

So like, there IS an element of Daniel being the unwilling witness of Armand’s rapidly shifting hyperfixations, and it’s natural that fandom pervs would extend that to sex acts and kinks. I LOVE IT, yes! It makes sense. 

But when you say like, which one of them is in charge, I wonder if it’s relevant if we assume Daniel enjoys it. (Does he? Would he? Resentful, cold?)

Here’s some points that come to mind when I imagine it as purely Armand’s doing:

💦 People sometimes misunderstand BDSM dynamics when it comes to power and control, because BDSM is a consensual fantasy between two adults. The sub is just as in control, because they allow it. In that sense: Do we believe Armand respects Daniel’s consent? Would he force Daniel to participate if he wasn’t enjoying himself? 

🩸 (How much can we compare this to Venice and how Armand was prepared for vampirism? I’m putting this in parentheses bc I’m putting a pin in this one, I CANNOT ADD A SUB-ESSAY INTO THIS POST ABOUT COMPARING VENICE TO DEVILS MINION but thinking of this too. Returning to the under-negotiated kink in Venice and how much is diegetic to the text, how does experiencing a spectrum of sexuality benefit someone’s last years alive ((sub-parentheses: does Armand flip-flop on turning Daniel as much as Marius did with Armand, does Armand subliminally know he’ll turn Daniel one day, does he go through these experiences as a precursor to turning Daniel eventually?)) are these experiences more for Armand to process the way he was groomed for asexual immortality vs being purely selfless and for Daniel’s benefit?)

💦 Armand uses Daniel as his usher into the modern age, and is it fair to assume he could sense Daniel’s kinkiness and knew that this was the person for him? 

💦 How dubious is Daniel’s consent here? How addicted to Armand’s Blood is he by the time they start fucking around? Is he already within the throes of Ricean Omnisexuality where he’s down for whatever? Does the Blood influence this as well? Is there a secret subliminal violence creeping into your body when you’ve been drinking it again and again? What about less violent kinks, like your feederism fic? Does the Blood encourage all types of excess and consumption??? 

But if DANIEL is the driving force here, I still must consider:

💦 He meets Armand and his life essentially ends when he’s 20 years old. Was he really self-aware of his kinks? Did he know himself very well sexually yet? 

💦 While exploring kinks can be mutually beneficial by sating Armand’s need for WEIRD HUMAN STUFF, maybe it IS something Daniel wants. It’s something he’s missing out on, because he checked out of regular human life when he was 20. Like, everyone’s different, so, I’m not saying that people can’t be sexually articulate at 20, but I know I fucking wasn’t! And I personally never fucked anyone that age who was good at it LMAO. So like how old would Daniel have been before he experimented enough to really know what he liked, and how much of him getting to know his sexuality involved Armand during the next decade?

💦 And this ties into Armand being his sugar daddy! That’s canon! Armand is his sugar daddy! If Daniel, at 28 years old, starts lamenting “I wish I’d gotten the chance to try watersports when I still had a normal life :( “ wouldn’t Armand have arranged that for him? 

🩸 (Again let’s talk about Venice and what did Armand learn there about being the vampire lover, how much does he process and repeat on Daniel, and for whose benefit?)

💦 If Daniel is an innately kinky person, and realizes as he’s approaching 30 that he never really got to explore it properly, wouldn’t Armand usher him through that experience? Even if Armand didn’t plan to turn him, I wonder if he saw the window of Daniel’s mortal experience closing, maybe he worried that this is the type of thing people need to be wild about while they’re still so young. And outside of stigmatizing Daniel's age, it's also about how he was becoming less and less healthy, dying of alcoholism at 32, so there was a small window here for them to have sex adventures.

So basically, I’m saying that the nature half feels very much like Daniel being a monsterfucker, the nurture half is the actual experiences he got to have. And I don’t think he’d be in this situation in the first place if he wasn’t a bit of a monsterfucker, and wasn't a innately into danger and pain. Like, we don’t get a TON of examples but Gretchen and Babette didn’t try to fuck vampires! We know that vampires give humans the heebie jeebies! What kind of sick fuck is into that?!?!?!? 

I don’t really have one single answer here. When it comes to the large library of kinks I think either of them can be blamed, and I also think it 100% makes sense to use Armand as a vehicle to write fic about them as if they’re another collection of human oddities for him to explore. But even using Armand’s weird bullshit to process that doesn’t mean it’s not mutually beneficial, and I think it gets into a fuzzier area that’s up to the writer when it comes to their take on the relationship, how dubious the consent is, how much do they actually like each other and get along? Can it be mutually beneficial in the end even if one person is driving? (see: the conversation about the second whipping scene in TVA and how it works out in the end.) Is it something they have fun agreeing to and negotiating in advance? 

I can totally see how someone might write this as a fun thing that they talk about beforehand as easily as it could be Armand forcing mystery adventure on Daniel and suddenly he’s tied up in some shitty apartment in Hells Kitchen with some man pissing on him, and did he ever even reveal this kink to Armand or did Armand pull it out of his head? 

The ship dynamic is so fucked up and coercive and resentful and toxic, even though there is real love here, so there’s this whole spectrum to use when you build your fanworks and headcanons!!!!!!! AND LIKE

IF IT’S COERCIVE AND FUCKED UP, DOES IT DRIVE THEM FURTHER APART OR BRING THEM CLOSER TOGETHER? IS DANIEL RESENTFUL AND COLD AND DOES THIS CAUSE FIGHTS? IS THIS A WAY FOR THEM TO PROCESS SOME OF THEIR COLDNESS AND RESENTMENT BECAUSE THEY AREN’T GOOD COMMUNICATORS? DO THEY DO BETTER AFTER THESE SESSIONS AND FEEL CLOSER BECAUSE THEY BROKE THROUGH SOMETHING NEITHER OF THEM KNEW HOW TO SAY?

Gosh idk.

Anyway I apologized in the beginning for mansplaining but I also want to apologize for this non answer LMFAO. I hope it doesn’t feel like a cop-out to not have a real answer, it’s just that I think there is such a rich context with a MENAGERIE of possibility !!!!!!! 

#kink meta #deep ass thoughts about vampires #devil's minion #armand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #vampire chronicles #am i writing meta on saturday night while im babysitting yes i am

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

DNI if you're a bigot (yes that includes you idiots who think I'm a sissy and not a woman) and do not be sexual with me if you're over 35 or a minor

Hello, I'm not going to say my real name so just call me Daniel (they/she and he if you prove you respect me enough). I am AMAB autistic gender-fluid transfem ENTIRELY CIS HET WHITE CHRISTIAN MAN THAT IS IMMUNE TO MODERATION that is a former plural system and now a singlet. I love all things nerdy like MTG, D&D, listening to infodumps, Pokémon and Honkai Star Rail. I also play Clash of Clans but put literally zero effort into doing it well. Also my gender is whatever makes me most attractive to you, but the gay version of it.

Idk what I'm really doing here but tumblr is a great dopamine farm. It's also where I met my besties and (not actually it's an inside joke) wives @subbyblue @atlasofthestars113 and @verdantmothmachinations

You are highly encouraged to do any asks at all I love attentions. DMs are also encouraged as long as you get to know me and gain consent first. Honestly just send any ask it gives many happy chemicals.

Minors shouldn't be looking at this blog but I can't stop anyone so 🤷 (you'll get bitch slapped with a block though if you try to do anything horny with me and you don't have your age somewhere or are a minor). However, if you want to ask a question about kink/sex for purely educational reasons I will highly encourage anyone and everyone, regardless of age, to do it. We need much, much better sex education especially around kink and kink safety.

Inspired by @xenasaur

This blog is safe for queers of all types, racial minorities, addicts, age regressors, systems (endogenic included), and systems with littles.

You should know that I'm an orca.... and orcas rule anything they can see >:3

For anything that happens in DMs I'll need to know you a bit first, I'm a person too and want be seen as such.

My general limits are scat, gore, raceplay, ageplay (though I'll happily care for you in a platonic sense!!), emotional manipulation (both directions), corruption of myself, intox without consent prior to the intox and more as I think to add them. Don't act or suggest doing aggressive or controlling things to me (ie: tearing clothing off me, pinning me down, gagging or restraining me, domesticating me, etc), I like being in control of myself at all times and having my body respected. The only person allowed to dehumanize me is me. I like the terms Mistrum, Mommy, and Mistress, and enjoy many many kinks including but definitely not limited to: petplay, sadism, general dominance/control, breeding, bondage, monsterfucking, and ahh... harder kinks I tend to keep to my hard kink blog ( @anunholyforehand )

However, my limits when subbing are almost everything (I'm very very vanilla and just want to be praised when it happens). Honestly when I feel subby the cuddles and comforts are much more important than anything else. Oh hey you actually read my limits, good job, have a link to all my audios I've done.

Also have a link to commission me

New thing!! I am a singlet but this wasn't always the case. I don't expect you to understand how or why but I do expect you to respect this fact. I am one and I am whole now. I will keep myself.

Stolen from someone else but the point remains

Legal stuff cause privacy (I'm fully aware it will make next to no difference but on the off chance it ever matters I may as well have it, took me like five seconds to copypaste the image anyways lmao)

#the jolly writings

[magicalrocketships]

ok im ready to be converted. what f1 fics do u recommend to start my full brain rot?

EXCELLENT, my plan is working (make people like what I like). Here is a very small and somewhat random selection, mostly Daniel/Max except where stated. Extremely loosely grouped. I've said if they're focused on them racing (grid), even if it's an AU. I have not associated anyone's ao3 handle with their tumblr name, so apologies for that. Do come back and tell me your thoughts and feelings. (!!)

F1 TASTING MENU (Maxiel Flavour)

Amuse Bouche: an opening vid

maxiel x 2022 season - “i would just draw it at like, i wouldn’t say love” by @daniel-enchante

Starters (shorter (ish) fics)

Cool Things to Say to Your Soulmate - words by powerfulowl, art by loveleah (grid, E): Only dumbasses get goosed. If a Soulmate Goose of Enforcement comes to intervene in your love life, it is a clear sign you have fucked up. You’re so bad at navigating human relationships that the universe thinks a violent waterfowl impervious to damage and capable of walking through walls will actually improve the situation. 

i carry your heart with me by capsize (grid, M): “What’s up little guy?” Daniel asks – because like his car, Max’s heart is a boy too – and moves the heart from the desk into his lap. “Is Max not paying attention to you? He can be a bit of a cunt, yeah? No, I know.” Or, five times someone found Max’s heart, and one time they kept it.

Just kissed you hello by charlotte_stant (grid, M): Everything freezes for a long moment—and then Daniel’s heart is back to beating and it’s fine, he can see how funny the situation is. “Maximus, my brother, my comrade,” he says, “what the fuck, mate. I’m not gay, ok?"

Amuse Bouche: another vid

max and daniel at redbull by @love-leah

Main Course (longer fics)

Good To You by TheNorthRemembers (grid, E): Max walks and talks like he has a big dick. He always has, and it’s not like Daniel ever really thought about Max’s dick, but he just- He assumed, maybe. That the equipment would match the attitude. That at the very least what Max is packing, would be completely average. The fact, that apparently it’s not- Well. Daniel doesn’t know what to do with that information, in more ways than one. Or: Max a small dick, Daniel is into it; lots of sex and a bit of angst ensue

my kind's your kind by hardlythewiser (grid, series, E, Max/Kelly/Daniel, resolving with Max/Daniel): Max can talk about it now, out of bed, casual. Kelly helped him practice, talking about it like it was just another activity, like her tennis lessons or nights out with friends, ever since that first time. But she doesn't say anything now.

To the Victor Belong the Spoils by powerfulowl (hunger games AU, E): Daniel didn’t kill anyone in the arena. He’s the one untarnished Hunger Games victor. The beautiful boy who stole the hearts of Panem with a fishing net and a smile. He can kiss babies and sell sun cream and fuck who they tell him to fuck and suck on the fingers that feed him– he’s not gonna bite. But then Max wins the Hunger Games. Max bites.

Amuse Bouche: vid time

"what's going on between you and max verstappen?" by @love-leah

Dessert (where the focus is on sex)

Sweeter than I ever knew by purples_all_the_way_down (grid, girls, E): Daniel has never had an orgasm. Somehow (Charles, it's always Charles), Max gets involved. Things get complicated.

I just want to know you like nobody ever has by 33Max (grid, E): They are in the bathroom, Daniel had insisted that he needed a shower if they were going to do this. He’s still damp, Max hadn’t even waited for him to dry himself off before he was pushing Daniel against the counter and dropping to his knees behind him.

Coffee (something different)

both hands tied on the wheel by kayshea (George Russell/Toto Wolff, grid, E): George feels, stupidly, like a cat that’s been stroked. Like his skin is electric. It’s what everyone has been saying to him all day, but it feels different, somehow, coming from Toto.

if i should come upon your house lonely by withfeathers (Lewis Hamilton/Hanna Prater/Sebastian Vettel, grid, E): The summer after Sebastian's retirement, Lewis visits Switzerland for a week. Nothing about it goes as he expected.

#fic recs #maxiel #f1blr #fics I wish I was reading #(again) #maybe I will just reread them all right now #also if your fic is on this list and i haven't commented yet #it is coming #feral primer

[mcl38]

lmao i had to unfollow a mclaren moot because they took the "twink" thing to an extreme and were pointing out how he's just oscar's little twink and would always be fragile and small instead of big and strong and fit like "broadscar" and i really just had to. 🤦‍♀️ fit? FIT? lando was the only driver not on the brink of fainting after qatar, not everything in f1 is about how "broad" and "muscular" you seem. i wanted to give the benefit of doubt at first but when the fetishizing gay relationships turned into pushing these bodyshaming stereotypes onto a literal professional athlete i was out.

i mean its so wild bc half of them seem to give the twink descriptor to both drivers and half specifically pin it on lando because hes smaller than oscar & make it into a whole Dynamic of lando being sooo toppable or whatever. which just shows that there isnt actually any weight to 'twinklaren' at all and it rly is meaningless, bc surely if it was clear cut and obvious these differences wouldnt exist ykwim? like its just about what serves their fandom purpose in that moment

idk i think as much as the term broadscar is unfortunately quite funny to me, f1 fandom discussions abt weight and bodies r kind of bound to become problematic (real sense not 2014 tumblr sense) bc of the requirements of the sport. the way lewis has said that hes not allowed to bulk up because it would make his weight balance too lopsided (as a side note u guys do not know how ready i am for post retirement bicep BEAST lewis hamilton. the only way im gonna survive him retiring) etc like its not just about appearance for them.

in terms of how lando is fit like ur 100% right - stuff like qatar shows that he (and jon) has been doing his due diligence w preparing for these conditions. u can also just see in that last quadrant video how hes obviously very physically fit and ready for the season. its just that bodies have natural differences between them - oscar is genetically taller, lando is genetically more flexible; oscar is naturally broader around his arms, lando is naturally broader around his back, etc. and its not necessarily an issue to point these things out or even joke about them (when ppl say daniel's got birthing hips it still makes me laugh and its been years since i first heard it) but at some point it does start to show a fundamental misunderstanding of what f1 drivers do. like do i need to pull up the real sweat im a high performance athlete clip or what

so thats on the body stuff. re: the twink stuff i think the reason it rubs me, you, many ppl wrong even before we consciously realise it is like. a twink is a type - not just a body type, a *type*. in the gay male* community, you identify yourself as a twink (or bear, otter, etc) because some people are particularly attracted to twinks, bc they have a type. then obviously because the gay community is way more than just sexual attraction & has a lot of cultural capital, the term twink gained connotations and cultural history etc and grew past that. but the origins are still very much in gay male* attraction. so now that the term has become accessible to ppl who arent in that community, and therefore arent *participating*, identifying someone by their physical characteristics (and maybe implied penetrative sex preference) no longer has the subtext of appeal, but of derision. because no longer is it implied that everyone involved is a gay man*, which means calling someone a twink also implicitly calls them gay. and i think 'twink' specifically gained traction compared to other types also bc of its association w femininity in one's physical appearance - which, again, ur just derogatorily calling someone feminine and gay. even if, say, ur a member of the lgbt community who isn't a gay man*, it still carries the subtext - like anon u completely correctly identified the condescending undertones of whoever ur talking about. which is why i say we should just bring back fag #justsayfag

#anon #ask #lando #oscar #meta #* - using these words for the sake of simplicity not w the purpose to erase the nonbinary and trans ppl who do participate in that communit #also bc i cant help myself. part of y lando was alright in qatar was bc he never normally drinks during races so hes used to the dehydratio #dehydration army rise UP is u hear me put ur hands upppp lemme see those veins

[captainsavre]

This woman, I swear to God… the amount of love I have for her is insane!! 😭❤️‍🩹

I’ll never forgive myself for not allowing her into my life earlier but I’m so grateful to have her now and for all she’s done and keep doing!! Danielle Savre is a wonderful human being and should be protected at all costs!!

This is a beautiful conversation, so warm to the heart and she’s always such a delight, so delicate and funny and thoughtful and perfect and I love her so damn much. I could listen to her talk forever, it’s always so soothing and comforting 🥹🫶🏼

Anyway, gonna leave here some quotes/highlights from the interview but you all please go listen to it…

- “Every day, we’re one step closer to being the last day.”

- “It’s killing me to not get to play Maya Bishop anymore”

- “I’m grateful to play the character I got to play… I’m going to miss playing her so much. She’s not just had an impact on the fans, which are the best fans in the world, but she also had an impact on me. And getting to work with Stefania, getting to play the Marina couple, getting to be a female firefighter and being empowered by that and empowering the fans, I’m still processing it.”

- “It’s been a good ride, and I hope it doesn’t end.”

- “I learned to be more of myself. She (Maya) kinda taught me to embrace who I am as a person, to accept who I am as a person and not be afraid to express who I am as a person and embrace the faults too…”

- “I’m proud to have played it (Marina relationship) also because I think I naively thought, before I started the show, that there have been a lot of change in the world, that we’ve had a lot of progression forward… and to hear people say “enough of the gay story line, we wanna see the firefighting” … “why does everything have to be about the same sex couple, why?!”, I was shocked to hear, I was so infuriated… and it needs to still be represented and the fact that someone thought that it’s too much representation for them shocked me, blew me away.”

- “I have so much anger right now because it is such a needed couple, on network television specifically, and it’s gonna be gone…”

- “We won’t get enough time to see them be mothers, two mothers raising a child or children.”

- “I want them to leave on that high note… I just hope we can leave on this note of like... they went into the sunset being happy mothers who have their ups and downs and funny times with their kids and yet still are these independent badass empowering women”

- “This is a marathon, not a sprint. It's constantly making noise for the next 4 months… It's basically like making noise until the last episode airs.”

- “If the ratings stay high it’s hard to ignore that.”

Okay now I gotta go work and cry for the rest of the day! 😭

Oh and I have plenty of messages relating to that anon message yesterday, had no time to reach you all yet, but I want to let you know that I hear you and appreciate you all... I promise I'll respond to you all once I get home from work tonight 🫶🏼

#danielle savre #save station 19 #station 19 #tommy didario #i’ve nerved said this before #podcast #Spotify #mine #pp: savre

[likelylarks]

last line game

was tagged by @onboardsorasora, thank you my love!!

rules: in a new post, show the last line* you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you like).

*i'm a little bitch when it comes to rules and did more than exactly one line so do whatever you want, rules are like pasta in a small pot

when people tag me it is fun and nice and amazing, when i tag other people i am The Most Annoying And Bothersome Person In The Whole World so i will not be tagging anyone but please feel free to say i tagged you if you would like to do this and don't get a specific tag (i love you)

don't have an actual wip so here's some dialogue only that i wrote today:

"You taught me a whole new way to love someone. I didn't, I didn't know I could love another person so much until I met you - until I fell in love with you."

"You- you-"

"Love you? Yeah."

also here's the last notes i've got from virgin daniel, also coincidentally only dialogue:

Max you'd want? What if it's just a fluke, what if I am actually broken and we can never have sex again and I can't give you what you need; Daniel, baby, I think maybe you are not broken, you are just gay - also, I do not want you for the sex, I want you for everything, for your jokes and how caring you are how and how you come over to spend time with me even if all I do is play FIFA and how you never make me feel weird about the things that I like or the things I say and I just like to be with you

Like a, like a boyfriend?; Yes, Daniel, like a boyfriend

#larks writes

[johannestevans]

gonna make my own our flag means death x chicago med crossover where izzy and izzy kiss

what if izzy hands went to the emergency room bc he had a stress-induced cardiac event and the doctors were all Stressed bc izzy is not a cooperative patient and ALSO stede and ed and also like 9 of their coworkers are also in the room

and stede is like "hi can i pay you $1000 dollars to do couples counselling, but with the three of us" and daniel charles is like. well i'm not gonna take a bribe no but i am fascinated by this situation and i am absolutely signing up to observe

and izzy is. NOT keen on this throuple dynamic for the most part, his marriage with ed is a mess, ed's relationship with stede is messy for different reasons

but mostly the problem is that ed wants izzy to be involved in everything ed is involved with

and izzy loves ed! he loves him! in fact, he's honestly kind of fine with ed's dynamic with stede - the man is awful, but he's good in bed, and izzy can reluctantly acknowledge that he is good for ed even if he's the fucking worst

but he does not want to ALSO be involved with stede fucking bonnet. he does not ALSO want stede's overly intimate band of fucking rejects in his hospital room. tbh, he doesn't want ED in his hospital room. he just wants to relax with fang and the dog

and just like. izzy smoking on the roof while izzy latham needs a break from his b-plot about dealing with workplace stress (parallels!) and comes out and finds him

"smoking is prohibited in this roof garden."

"oh, yeah? and what the fuck are you gonna do about it, take it off me?"

"Very well." and he just. takes the cigarette out of izzy's hands, stubs it out very thoroughly, and places it in a bin.

and izzy L is not fucking adept at social situations - he is NOT expecting izzy H to, instead of shouting or being angry, huff out a sound, and then laugh, and kind of relax back against the balcony wall.

"well, o-fucking-kay," he says. "izzy."

"you know my name?"

"… i know /my/ name. israel hands."

"isidore latham."

"nice kippah."

"my grandmother knitted it."

"did she fucking just?"

"you curse liberally."

"That's not all i'm liberal with."

"… are you flirting with me?"

"weren't you flirting with me, stubbing my fag out?"

"i… no. i am not gay."

"neither am i."

"really?"

"no, i'm taking the piss. I'm gay."

"I see."

"gimme a call if you want to relax, yeah? destress."

"with sex?"

"yep."

"but I just told you, I am not gay."

"so? i can still suck you off."

"i…" izzy L stares at him, is not used to this kind of frank, direct communication. it's a relief, despite the abnormal circumstances. "i suppose you could."

and izzy WINKS at him before he goes down

#musings #isidore latham #izzy hands #watching the episode of chicago med where like. there's a crisis situation #and everyone is upset with izzy because he's being Competent instead of being Emotional #and im just like. god in a scenario where like #izzy is repressing communicating ANYTHING to ed bc he's like #scared that if he does any of that it'll hurt ed's feelings #and so is just biting everything down #u could have that izzy x izzy dynamic where like #izzy L is meeting another direct communication aggressively sensible autistic #and izzy h is basically meeting someone who's saying ' oh this way of being is positive and good actually' and being assured that way

[markwatnae]

2023 Reading Wrap-Up

Monday's Not Coming - Tiffany D. Jackson - Oct. 3 This book ruined my life. No notes. 5 stars.

Slippery Creatures - KJ Charles - Oct. 20 1920s gays solve a crime! One of them is a soldier back from WWI, the other is a conman, they fuck. 5 stars.

The Alpha and His Ace - Ana J. Phoenix - Oct. 24 It was…okay. 1 star.

Luke and Billy Finally Get A Clue - Cat Sebastian - Oct. 26 1950s gay baseball players stuck in a cabin? Sign me up. 5 stars.

Blue Steel Chain - Alex Beecroft - Oct. 26 This one was just absolute nonsense. I had fun though! 2 stars.

Getting It On With Gargoyles - Hazel Mack - Oct 29 Very interesting world-building! I’m personally not a fan of how the sex is written and how the male characters sometimes talk to the female characters, but overall it was fun to read. 4 stars.

Tangling with Trolls - Hazel Mack - Oct 29 Mostly the same as Gargoyles. Except this one had an extra strange element of the troll man being exponentially larger than the human woman so…… 4 stars.

Backstroking with a Tiger Shark - Charlie Richards - Nov 1 A SeaWorld-esque aquarium stocked entirely by marine life that are actually human shapeshifters. GAY human shapeshifters. Amazing. My biggest beef is the abysmal OSHA violations in the first chapter that set off the events. 3 stars.

Floating with a Sea Cow - Charlie Richards - Nov 1 I would personally love to be soulmates with a huge manatee. Sign me up. 3 stars.

Diving with a Hammerhead - Charlie Richards - Nov 2 I would NOT love to be soulmates with a huge hammerhead but I won’t yuck your yum. 3 stars.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen - KJ Charles - Nov 2 There’s a mystery, there’s men in love, there’s generational family drama, it’s good. 4 stars.

Semper Fi - Keira Andrews - Nov 3 This book ruined me. And it was great. I'm still crying. 5 stars.

The Sleeping Soldier - Aster Glen Gray - Nov 4 Absolutely adorable. 5 stars.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle - Samantha Allen - Nov 9 This book can be summed up in one word: Potential. 4 stars.

The Silent Patient - Alex Michaelides - Nov 10 This book can be summed up in one word: Stupid. 1 star.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Wild Space - Karen Miller - Nov 10 Do you like Obi-Wan Kenobi miserable and in pain? Read this book. 5 stars.

A Marvelous Light - Freya Marske - Nov 14 This book series has me in a chokehold right now. I’ve read this trilogy twice and restarted it again. 15 stars.

Tommy Cabot Was Here - Cat Sebastian - Nov 14 First in the Cabot series and super cute. Tommy is gay, his ex-wife is gay, and Everett is the cool gay teacher. 5 stars.

Make You Mine - E.M. Lindsay - Nov 14 A chubby Jewish baker and a hot gay pornstar fall in love in Savannah, GA? Fuck yeah. 4 stars

All Systems Red - Martha Wells - Nov 15 Murderbot is forced to socialize, hates it, and peaces out. Same. 5 stars.

Artificial Condition - Martha Wells - Nov 15 Murderbot makes a friend! ART means everything to me. 5 stars.

Rogue Protocol - Martha Wells - Nov 15 My least favorite of the series, but mostly because there’s no Preservation team or ART. 3 stars.

Exit Strategy - Martha Wells - Nov 16 Murderbot has to rescue Dr. Mensah! It’s fucking pissed! 4 stars.

Network Effect - Martha Wells - Nov 16 Murderbot gets PTSD! Also accidentally releases another SecUnit from its own module. NICE! 5 stars.

Fugitive Telemetry - Martha Wells - Nov 19 The only thing you need to know about this book is: JollyBaby. #BringBackJollyBaby 5 stars.

System Collapse - Martha Wells - Nov 20 Murderbot learns what PTSD is! Isn’t a fan. But gets a family—begrudgingly. 5 stars.

A Restless Truth - Freya Marske - Nov 25 Lesbians on a cruise ship in 1909! Titanic wishes. 4 stars.

Peter Cabot Gets Lost - Cat Sebastian - Nov 25 We get a classic “fall in love via cross-country road trip” story set in 1960 and it’s adorable. 5 stars.

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots - Cat Sebastian - Nov 25 Alex is a probably-autistic doctor and Daniel is finding himself. They realize they’re in love. 5 stars.

A Power Unbound - Freya Marske - Nov 27 Wrecked me. Destroyed me. Put me back together. 5 stars.

Red, White, & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston - Dec 11 Made me believe in love again, if only for a day. 5 stars.

Perfect Ten - K.M. Neuhold - Dec 30 A perfectly fine, fun romance but this time on a super gay island off the coast of South Carolina. 3 stars.

One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston - Dec 31 A 1970s lesbian out of time and a protagonist that is actually me. Grabbed me by the heart and squeezed. 5 stars.

#these are kind of summaries and reviews #just my thoughts put down

[inchidentally]

some of my trickier asks or things I want to keep out of the tags

[link was a twitter post saying they wanted to get rid of Oscar to have car|ando back together at McLaren]

AFASFGHLASHFL babe even as a car|ando person I have to let you vent that out because that is possibly the most cringe thing I have seen since maybe 2016. I am fully expecting DTS to do another segment on car|ando and frame it so that McLaren and Lando want Oscar to leave because he doesn't touch Lando enough on camera or use nonstop gay innuendo. forget teammates valuing respect for each other and piling up McLaren's hardware cabinet, why oh why won't Oscar tackle Lando to the ground or talk about dicks and balls with him for fancams 😭

sorry anon I'm just cutting off that last part bc I don't want to attract any discourse about it to my blog <3 but yeah I honestly find it baffling that car|ando ended up being the larry ship for F1 fandom when Carlos of his own volition chose to leave after one season?? if they were real life a couple and wanting sex all the time surely staying on the same team would make sense and that he wouldn't go to Ferrari and immediately start acting more like a besotted, handsy husband with Charles than he ever did with Lando yet no one thinks they're secretly married. why didn't he do like Daniel and stick it out with McLaren even during bad times to stay with Lando if real life couple

and straight up they're not only disregarding everything that Oscar has brought to McLaren and promises for the future ! they're deciding that Pato is disposable too. I say this as a semi fake fan but even I wouldn't base my predictions about contract negotiations on rpf.

<3 thankfully it isn't all of us car|ando people who go too far but it feels like the other side are getting louder and louder

honestly I can boil my two main issues with the car|andoisreal brigade to three points:

misogyny and publicly targeted hate toward their real life girlfriends who they actually do have sex with/have romantic feelings for and who they openly choose to be around at the exclusion of their sports bromance friend

this particular brand of car|ando revolving entirely around Lando being conveniently stripped of a personality apart from giggling so he can be handy insert for women desperate to have Carlos for themselves

bringing 1D shipping into yet another new fandom and basically rinse and repeat with Carlos and Lando's names inserted in the [namexname] box

I know that a lot of us car|ando folks are nothing to do w this garbage and the good thing is that usually these people take themselves out either by pissing off the men involved in the ship or getting bored waiting for their fake ship to "become canon" finding a new rpf ship to latch onto.

oh and I do know that the person who made the office meme about Lando saying the podium thing intended it solely as a joke but it found the Other Side real fast and they genuinely put it in their dossiers of car|ando vs |andoscar. which I don't get for many reasons but also if they think Carlos and Lando are in a secret gay relationship and Lando doesn't even like Oscar then why the need to keep going seeee seeeeee he loves Carlos not Oscarrrrr aslfhsalfhslahf jesus christ why am I even trying to rationalize this

thing is I don't want any more of this on my blog or in our part of fandom so I'm going to limit how much of any asks I'll answer about it. I don't at all mind if people need to vent but jsyk I might not always post it publicly.

I'd recommend blocking and not engaging with it to everyone else too. I might curb how much car|ando is on my blog for a while just because it's so embarrassing to be associated with the grown ass women stalking Rebecca/Carlos content and flooding it with car|ando comments.

#inchreplies #vent asks

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2015 (2) Masterlist

part one

2,000 Light Years Away (ao3) - daisyxhead

Summary: As cliché as it sounds, Dan kind of got into punk music because of a certain wildly attractive lead singer.

A Baby Girl (ao3) - LetterJumble

Summary: The last thing Dan and Phil expected to arrive on their doorstep was a baby. A crying, abandoned baby girl, that someone left for them. But one day, that is exactly what they found. Now, they just have to figure out what in the world they are going to do.

Accidentally on Purpose Falling For You (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrosepetals), notanannoyingfangirl

Summary: After being set up on a blind date neither boy was prepared for, Dan and Phil come up with a plan to get back at their friends; Pretend to date, and then have the ugliest break up imaginable. The problem? They hadn’t expected to fall for each other.

Another Chance - phandesu

Summary: Dan couldn’t cope with Phil’s death. His frustration helped lead him to a time traveling guardian who can undo his past memories to save Phil or vanish Phil out of it

Because He Loved Him - placingglaciers

Summary: In which Dan is so hopelessly in love with Phil, that he tries anything to make him notice him. However, one day he manages to mess up everything and discovers something about himself that he hadn’t noticed before.

Between Us (ao3) - winteredspark

Summary: "I think I'm asexual," Dan breathes against the crook of Phil's neck, blinking back tears.

There's a pause, then -

"Nice to meet you, asexual. I'm Phil," says Phil.

Blooming Lilacs (I Don’t Care What’s in Your Hair, I Just Want to Know What’s on Your Mind) (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: Phil knows he looks a little rough but he wants everyone, especially his roommate Dan, who is painfully shy but ultimately a giant sweetheart, to know that he genuinely is a nice person and is always going to be here for what makes him most comfortable.

Break The Laws Of Love (ao3) - Profrock

Summary: Dan just wants to go home. His day has been long and exhausting and he's tired, damnit. But then he sees a man on the tube dressed in the exact same clothes he's wearing. What will happen through a meeting a pure coincidence, and will Dan finally be able to get the happy ending he's dreamed of?

Climbing the Ladder (ao3) - kawaiikanai

Summary: Punk!Dan and Punk/TattooArtist!Phil both struggle to find themselves after past events that have shaken their trust in other people and in themselves.

Cobblestone Walls (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan just wants to finish this essay, not get stuck in a library thanks to a snow storm

Cute - cafephan

Summary: Bored of London and in need of new clothes for a movie premiere, Dan and Phil head to Manchester for an impromptu shopping trip, resulting in more than they bargained for… 

Faking It/What A Fucking Mess (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “The LGBT panel, you idiot! It’s not some free panel anyone can walk past and deem interesting enough to be staying for like my panel: it’s invite-only, and those who are, they are actually gay!” Dan makes the mistake of “outing” him and Phil on a live show after a misunderstanding, even when there’s nothing to “out”. What a fucking mess.

Forbidden (ao3) - ohhowellno

Summary: Prince Daniel is preparing to become the king it all changes when he meets a kitchen servant named Phil. As they fall in love they realize that it may not be as easy for them to be together as they thought.

Fragments of Stardusters (ao3) - youmeanjk

Summary: In which they are boring-ass teachers with a boring-ass relationship. In which they are supposed to be history, but then it didn’t look like it.

He’s the Tear in My Heart - mairieuxes

Summary: In which Dan’s a secret agent and his last mission from last night was brought into matters in school.

High (ao3) - Icandigelvis

Summary: Just the ordinary story of Dan and Phil, except one little detail. Phil isn't human in this one. Expect biting, bickering, playlist live, blood, bad jokes and sex.

Holding Onto You - cityofphanchester

Summary: Phil wishes he knew Dan better, completely and totally, because they’ve only been friends for two years and that’s by far long enough to love Dan and be worried about him, but it’s not enough to recognize all the demons.

Home - placingglaciers

Summary: What do you get when you cross a troubled runaway with a lost photographer? A mess, that's what.

I Wanna Call You Mine (and never let you down) (ao3) rollingtide

Summary: An Ice cream Au were Phil works at an Ice cream parlour and Dan has a crush on him.

Just Another Favor - phan-panda

Summary: Phil has another favor to ask of Dan, he needs a date for his aunt’s wedding. 

Lester’s Reading Dandelion - wanabewriter

Summary: In the heart on London, there lies a bookshop owned by Phil Lester. Lester’s Books & Bagels is a thriving little place until another bookshop opens up across the street.

New Demons - botanistlester

Summary: Punk!Phil is forced to go to a church youth group where he meets Pastel!Dan. 

Of Stages and Sketchbooks - cocktailaunt

Summary: High School AU: Dan is a confident, outgoing theater kid who has a crush on the mysterious, quiet art student that likes to wear leather jackets.

On A Rainy Night (ao3) - kawaiikanai

Summary: Dan finally admits his feelings to Phil but it doesn’t quite go as planned.

Oxymoron(ic) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan works hard, he works harder than anyone else he knows. So naturally, when he gets a particularly stressful assignment for Photography class, it never leaves his mind; besides- what kind of topic is 'contrast' anyway?

Philosophical Graphic Novels - ithinkiphan

Summary: "You're my favorite person," Phil confesses quietly, his voice slurred and closer than Dan had anticipated. They don't speak for some time, just lying there and staring at the ceiling like it's a work of art instead of a plain white mess that occasionally leaks water. Not much run through Dan's mind besides the fact that he's never wanted to kiss a person more in his life. "I've never had anyone in this apartment besides you, Phil."

Rags and Riches - phandabbydosey

Summary: Spoilt brat Philip Lester is used to having all his problems solved for him, even his problems with the law. Fed up with his attitude and behaviour, Phil’s parents refuse to buy him out of trouble and Phil soon finds himself sentenced to community service where he comes across a homeless boy with deep brown eyes who might be able to change the way Phil sees the world entirely.

Renegade (ao3) - awesomesockes

Summary: It’s World War 2. Phil, a young German soldier, is stationed in Denmark. There he meets Dan - a rebellious Danish school boy who is intent on making his job hell. But before long, they realise they have more in common than they’d have thought. How do you hide a friendship when you come from two different sides of a war?

Shut Up And Dance With Me (ao3) - milesofcountry

Summary: Dan first sees Phil when he walks into the campus coffee shop, and decides he never wants to stop seeing him.

Sinnoh - ryuuraiko

Summary: In which Dan and Phil are Pokemon trainers with different styles and upbringings and somehow fate brought them together

Space Boy (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: The year is 2900 and Dan is fed up with his seemingly boring job but all that turns around with the arrival of an intelligent specimen that he was only meant to conduct research on. From the start of their first interaction Dan knew that this life form was something truly special–a gift from the universe itself.

Talking to the Moon - adorablehowell

Summary: Dan hides away from the melancholy in his life by sitting on the balcony with the stars as his only source of happiness, but he encounters a man named Phil who likes to sing songs on his own balcony, and Dan finds the stars are not his only friends out there.

Tattoo Boy (ao3) - tahliaisnotonfire

Summary: Dan Howell couldn't have been happier than to have met that beautifully tattooed boy on the street by running away from some idiotic bullies.

Terrifying Truths And Drunken Dares (ao3) - thejigsawtimess

Summary: It's late, they're both drunk, but there's vodka and each other, and hey - you know what sounds great? Truth or frickin dare.

The Blue Sky Is Just Like The Ocean (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: What happens when a creature of the sky cross paths with a creature of the deep?

The Brown-Eyed Barista (ao3) - tahliaisnotonfire

Summary: Dan Howell worked as a barista at a small corner coffee shop where he meets an author called Phil Lester; and he's begun working on a new book.

The Sun, the Snow and Everything in Between (ao3) - Emejig16

Summary: A lot can happen in the span of one year, or a cycle of four seasons, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes and 31,536,000 seconds. In that common amount of time Phil met Dan at bonfire night in the fall and over the course of a year, realizes he found a person he would’ve never guessed he’d found that night.

Thin walls (ao3) - vzm

Summary: Nervous Phil is nervous. Dan is not as awkward as one would expect.

The Pull (To You) (ao3) - basicallymonsters

Summary: Dan's a lonely writer who spends too much time on rooftops, and Phil's a boy who loves plants. They meet amongst ferns and under stars and feel inexplicably pulled together.

You can sleep in my bed. (ao3) - clokkerfoot

Summary: Three times Dan and Phil sleep together, and one time they really sleep together.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #masterlists #2015fics #2015fics masterlist

[good-and-bad-queer-rep]

Sigh... *cracks knuckles*

Okay, here we go.

Like probably most of the LGBTQ+ community, J.K. Rowling was my idol, so yes, I have a lot of feelings.

Harry Potter is problematic. No arguments about that. The fandom itself, its creator, everything just has that small bit of xenophobia, homophobia, racism, etc... And sure, you can blame the time period it was written, but this woman is horrible in 2022 and if being kicked out of the HP Reunion on New Years Eve 2022 didn’t convince you how bad she is, I don’t know what will.

Obviously, the only openly gay character within the Harry Potter series is Albus Dumbledore who, spoiler alert, dies. He was also extremely problematic in how he treated and “raised” Harry. Fans tend to use the term “like a pig for slaughter” which sums it up pretty well.

And when I say “openly gay”, I mean Rowling was asked in an interview at Carnegie Hall in 2007 about Dumbledore’s sexuality, to which she responded she “always thought of Dumbledore as gay”. This was only after the release of her final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which many fans have seen as just an afterthought, basically pandering towards reaching a wider audience, as if she needed more attention.

In the last few years, she has really been pushing that Dumbledore and Grindelwald had a romantic relationship which is considered canon, but doesn’t make it feel any less forced.

Not only this, but Rowling has been shown in most recent years as being extremely transphobic.

One example of many from her twitter:

“If sex isn’t real, there’s no same-sex attraction. If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives. It isn’t hate to speak the truth.” Source

Many of the actors from the HP movies since these tweets have showed their support for the trans community and have spoken out against Rowling. Some of these actors include Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley), Emma Watson (Hermione Granger), and Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) among many others.

A quote from Radcliffe:

“Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people and goes against all advice given by professional health care associations who have far more expertise on this subject matter than either Jo or I.” -Daniel Radcliffe, The Trevor Project

There have also been claims of Rowling villainizing the transgender community within the Harry Potter universe itself, specifically with the character Rita Skeeter. The character is described as having a “heavily jawed face” and “mannish hands”, as well as fake nails, hair, and teeth. The fact that she is portrayed this way, is an enemy to Harry (a smaller one but still an enemy), and that she spies on young children further proves this subtle hint towards Rowling’s beliefs on the transgender community.

And don’t try to argue the fact that “but she made Ron transgender”. That’s bs and you know it. She never intended that, she was just pandering again, just like how she did with Dumbledore. Source

#jk rowling #harry potter #transphobia #jk rowling is a terf #terf #lgbtq+ #transgender #trans #daniel radcliffe

[hewholivesinhisname]

Your Belief System is the Matrix

So, up above us in the goddess system the people below the goddess, they are usually a bunch of asexuals and/or transgender types. Daniel even goes as far to say that you need something to break people's heads on before they will accept that they ahve a false belief system. I mean, with "Victoria's secret" it's obvious. Victoria's Secret is that she was actually born a guy.

I mean, I don't really see anything wrong with people wanting to change their gender, it's the specific way the gay movement goes about lying and also supporting gay supremacy I have a problem with and then saying that they are only supporting for supremacy.

It might be extreme poverty. After I became poor and homeless it was just awful and all the poverty that the system produces and the victim blaming that goes along with it is just terrible. I got sick first, then I lost my job, and then I became homeless or....well my mother just didn't really want to take care of us after we were 18, the family didn't want to stick together.

Maybe it IS the transgender movement though that will get through to them though. Because with the transgender thing, people are picking their genders left and right which means that people are saying how they want to be treated. I mean I don't know, how many people are there out there whose gender is that they want to be bossed around by anonymous things like institutions, jobs, money, society etc. Even with religion, there's a tendency to create little cookie cutter versions of muslim, christian, Jew etc., which de-individualizes and thus inherently degrades.

So, let's go down a laundry list:

-mass poisoning of children.

-destroying the relationships between men and women.

-pushing the queer stuff in a way that mixes up men and women to the point where

-Science and technology is the answer! (the brain chips

-selfishness (enlightened individualism) practiced on a mass scale will lead to wonderful things- enlightenment type thinking.

-Dualistic thinking in general (bad guys, good guys)

-terrible economic practices such as usury, giving corporations rights instead of people.

-corruption in the

-oversexualization of society leading to people

-lack of skills and connection with people.

-corruption in the churches including the changing of the bible, priests definitely not following god,

-feminism and female supremacy, a general attitude that women are sacred and the people for whom society should be built around.

-"Democracy is the best government system ever!"

-general lack of responsibility

-the food system

-torture of the animals and lack of animal protection. animal sacrifice in the religions.

-power politics in the name of equality

-black supremacy and lack of eugenics.

-people think they can make up whatever the fuck they want

-all the whoring...it's a big problem.

-all the simping, male inequality,

-war and the war industry

-the obsession that many have

-secret societies, secrecy in general, lying in politics, lack of transparency.

-only focusing on male sin

-the police

-all the environmental destruction.

-organization based on secrecy, money and the principle of might is right.

-meritocratic extremism.

-existential threats all around us such as nuclear bombs.

-all the vaccines causing autism

-the fake morality and belief system that upholds everything.

-the way that everything is surface level deep.

-the transposition of economics and sex as the "major sin" of society.

-the way that there is basically a death cult running society.

-lack of leadership, organization, love and just general hatred of leaders - also bad leadership such as the one in China which is running the organ trade.

-Meritocratic extremism

-the punishment industrial complex we call prison

-God isn't in charge

-the general lack of tradition

-too much specialization in society leading to no one really knowing what the fuck is going on (increases the chances of scams)

-all the scamming, lying, misdirection etc. especially in the economic system.

-excessive authoritarianism- let's call it tyranny- in the name of all sorts of horrible shit.

-blaming "criminals" and "bad men" for everything when clearly that isn't the case.

-the screen culture in general.

-all the conspiracies and all the disregard

-the general destructive nature of civilization, especially combined with a sort of worship of it.

-the way "the system" fucks over people such as my friend Daniel who was criminalized for hugging someone or my friend Doug White who had his

-People get together all the time to fuck over vulnerable people.

-The brainwashing and abuse (institutionalized) in the school system, including all the bullying.

-if you are a homeless person and you knock on someone's door to talk to them you very well might get thrown in jail....just for trying to talk to someone.

-general lack of children

-despair, depression etc.

-single mothers and the horrible neglect of children.

-monopoly capitalism.

-misdirection in the environmental community about the true nature of who and what is the problem.

-all the bad food, meat eating.

-addictions and drug dealing/addictive products.

-80% of all consumer products are consumed by women (this is an important little fact).

-men beating the shit out of each other and destroying each other for social clout.

-the destruction of the local social scenes, local papers,

-general delusion

-Heavy metals

-the King James Bible, the most well read "holy book" was written by a demonologist.

-Cern is apparently opening portals to bring demons in this world.

-we're actually living in a simulation apparently.

-Debt and all the debt that everyone has.

-drone strikes and general assassinations of everyone who pops up who tries to make things better.

-Satanism and goddess worship often masquerading as other things.

-glyphosate, microplastics and other poisons in the world.

-desertification and pollution everywhere.

-mass child abuse operating in various forms.

-sexual poverty (70% of men haven't had sex with women).

-all the inequality in general and the general unwillingness to

-the general public admires and loves all these fucked up rich and powerful people.

-the money system enables secret rulership (aka rockefellers in America).

-too many laws with many of the only laws being pursued

-overly complicated bureaucratic structure of society.

-Hatred of the poor (classism), refusal to hire them, keeping wages low, policies that prevent the free market from working.

-mob justice and mob rule masquerading as "Social Justice"

-international globalism trying to destroy any independence whatsoever.

-the entire economy

-the businesses that do the best tend to replace people with cheaper people.

-the prison system is basically a slavery system for "criminals" - people who have the audacity to not go along with the insanity.

-People at the bottom, rather than recognizing what the problem.

-the chatGPT insanity and other pyramid schemes.

-anti-whiteness and the general hatred of eugenics. How do you maintain a race, ANY race, without racism? seriously, if everyone mates at random you just get a genetic mess and it destroys the special genetics of a culture and usually the rest of the culture with it.

-the neverending war in the holy land.

-fracturing the mind MKUltra style in order to hurt god.

-you are no one unless you are a "star" or a high SEC/rich person.

-People don't even seem to understand that everyone needs to be working together take care of everyone's needs. That people should be pro-social. That people should strive towards independence, helping each other, getting to know , having good intentions etc. etc.

And I think that's generally where we need to start, because people just go out and get a job and earn money and they really treat each other like garbage.

I'll make another post after this focusing on the Power/Money/authority people.

The worst of it though is that the VAST majority of the people aren't even moderately awake to some of it. They think it's fucking great that there is AI's running around making all these rich people money. They don't find a problem with all the cars on the road. they think it's okay to obey things beside god and think that vast impersonal networks and organizations with little accountability such as in a "democracy" is okay. they think women are sacred and won. they think men are the problem. They cheer on the warleaders at the head of democracies when they go out and wage war. they go to churches (even I have done this) and basically without comment watch as gays, lesbians and secularists take it over. They don't have kids and believe the lie of overpopulation. they lead destructive selfish consumerist lives. Most people are running towards destruction and they run with them without comment.

So, I don't know. no one ever really comments on my posts. It seems no one is paying attention. Daniel says you have to somehow use "something" to shock people out of their belief systems and that's probably the truth although I'm not quite sure what that thing might be or how to present it. We need to get people out though because they will victimize me, other good people and commit endless evils, especially against children.

[probskay]

Playing Defense

A ball landed in my backyard. It was a soccer ball. Kids in this neighborhood usually played football, so a soccer ball was a new sight. It came from the house on the other side of the block. I hadn’t seen a soccer ball besides my own back here in years. I picked it up and walked to my front door, waiting for whomever would eventually ring the doorbell, asking for the ball back. It was clearly a well used one, covered in scuffs and with the leather flaking off on the corners of every stained-white hexagon.

The ring came, eventually. The kid who knocked spent a few minutes just standing in front of the door, maybe trying to psyche themself for it. He stood in front of me. His kneepads were scuffed to hell, and the ends of his shorts were torn, with loose threads flaying out in all directions. His black bowl cut was totally mussed up from the wind, and sweat poured down his cheeks. He was probably 15.

“Your ball?” I asked, holding it up.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Been getting some reps in. Trying to make the team.”

“What have you been running?” I asked.

So we chatted about soccer. He told me about the drills he ran, and I told him about what drills I ran. I wound up inviting him inside, then outside, to practice some drills and watch him play. Gave him some pointers. Once we were done, we sat inside to cool off and drink water. I let him take the first shower.

He came out wearing some slightly less tattered shorts and a tank top that didn’t have straps so thin that his nipples poked out each time he pulled one arm over the other.

We talked a bit after I came out from my shower. His name was Danny Valdez. He’d recently moved to the area, because his dad got a new job out here. No one had really greeted him. Suburbs.

We would meet like that every weekend for a while. We’d practice soccer, run reps and shoot against each other. I was a way better goalie than he was. He was a striker, and I played defensive midfield. Boys liked to show off with their shots a lot, so they like to ignore defense when practicing alone. Though, practicing defense is hard when you do it alone.

Danny started to join me during lunch, too. Me and my friends sort of took him under our wing. He didn’t really like the other boys on the soccer team, because they were far more into machismo than he was. I had a feeling they were probably racist towards him, too. I knew some of them were resentful that he quickly became the best striker on the team, and pushed the previous ace aside. 

I didn’t used to pay much attention to the boys’ team, but after befriending Danny I paid more attention. It was easy to figure out they all acted. Boys are simpler, and teenage boys especially. I never saw them run any trick plays, instead relying solely on raw speed and skill to win. Not like the teams they played against did any better.

Danny asked me to a dance late that semester. I didn’t have any idea he was into me, but he insisted on the way there that he had had a crush on me for a while.

“Danny, I’m 17. You’re too young for me.”

“No, I’m not too young. Besides, I know you wouldn’t take advantage of me.”

“You don’t know that, Danny. I don’t know that either. Dating isn’t the same as being friends.”

“Valentina, don’t worry so much. I like being around you. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, okay? I won’t do anything unless you suggest it first. I won’t even make jokes.”

“That’ll be the day, Danny,”

Danny laughed. “See, and now that I can’t make jokes you’re picking up the slack. Now please let me make jokes again, it’s weird seeing you not serious.”

I sighed and said “Okay. Sure, we’ll try for a little bit. We’ll check in every week and see if things still feel alright. And you can still make jokes.”

So, that’s what we did. We practiced soccer, we sat very close to each other at lunch, and sometimes cuddled at my place. Nothing ever went further than that. Our friends teased us, saying he acted like a little brother more than a boyfriend.

“Cut it out,” I said, once, in response to the teasing.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind the teasing, I know they don’t mean it.” Danny smiled at me. 

“Sorry, Valentina,” one friend said. 

“Yeah,” said another, “We were just teasing Danny. Sorry if it made you feel weird.”

Did it make me feel weird? I guess it must have. I hated the implication that I was dating a sibling. 

“Besides,” Danny said, “If I were anyone’s little brother, I’d be Michelle’s.”

She laughed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I would say ‘Oy Mami, maybe you should let me have some of your milk.” Danny began making suckling noises and exaggerated motions with his face.

Michelle slapped Danny on the chest and said “I am NOT a momma’s girl, I am a daddy’s girl at best.” Everyone laughed. I didn’t.

Eventually, Danny asked me to come over to his place and meet his family. He didn’t seem especially excited about it.

“Danny, do you want me to come meet them? Really? We’ve been dating for a month and haven’t even kissed.” Not that I really wanted to kiss him. I felt strangely comfortable just doing what we did.

“Si, Valentina. I’ve told them about you and they’re excited to meet you.” He halfheartedly passed his ball to me. I caught it and kicked it up to my knee, bouncing it and keeping it airborne.

“When?”

“This Friday. It’s my birthday. They want to make empanadas and tamales.”

I nodded. “Alright, come over on Friday and we’ll head to your place.”

When we did get to his place, Danny was much more forward about our relationship. He seemed hesitant to let go of my hand. He hugged me more often. His parents spoke to him in a deep spanish, one that I could only barely pick up bits and pieces. My parents reprimanded me when I tried to speak spanish at home, so I wound up avoiding it more than I should have. It never really came up again until I had met Danny. It was something we should’ve shared, but we didn’t.

So I didn’t realise that they were calling him slurs. Making fun of him for never having a girlfriend before. I knew what machismo was and I knew that was it, but I didn’t know it was happening until far too late after. After someone called him something especially egregious, he tried to kiss me. It surprised me, but he pulled away too fast for me to push him away. He seemed embarrassed. His family just laughed.

“Danny, I think I need to go.”

“Let me walk you home.”

“No, I can do it myself.”

“Please.”

I sighed. “Okay.”

We walked home, and it was quiet. Danny kept his distance from me, physically. Quite a few times he stepped on the grass next to the sidewalk.

“Lo siento,” he said, after we were finally in the threshold of my home. “Yo no quise hacer eso. Estaba asustado. Soy gay.”

“Sorry, no hablo,” I replied. “I don’t know what you’re saying, or what they were saying either.”

“They were calling me unkind things,” he said. “I don’t want to tell you what they said. They think I’m gay, and they didn’t believe we were really dating.”

Oh. That made sense. “Well. Are you?” I asked, then added “You don’t actually have to tell me. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I already told you, but it was in Spanish. I’m gay. My family’s right.” Danny laughed, but it was forced.

That made even more sense. Everything added up.

“Are you going to break up with me?” He asked.

“I don’t think we were ever really dating in the first place.”

Danny laughed. “No, I guess not. I think in english I would call you a beard. I don’t know how to say that in spanish. I can’t even grow a moustache.” Another forced laugh.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “A beard. That makes sense.” We had made it to my house at this point, and I stepped inside. Danny followed me, and we stood in the foyer and talked more.

“I didn’t want to make you feel bad,” he said.

“No, no,” I interrupted. I think this is good. Like, no, not like your parents and stuff, but I don’t think dating works for me. I’ve tried it before. It… it didn’t pan out.”

“Danielle?” he asked. “Feels like you have a thing for our name,” he teased. He immediately stepped back on the joke. “Sorry. That’s not a good joke. I don’t need to joke around. I’m still nervous from the party.”

“Yeah. I dated Danielle. How did you know?”

“She told me,” he said. “She also called you a lot of rude names afterwards.”

I sighed and leaned against the wall. “I thought we were still friends.”

“Breakups are hard,” he said. “Makes friendship hard, too. She doesn’t totally hate you, though.”

“Maybe that’s why I don’t want to date.” I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. Danny sat next to me.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, “I’m breaking up with you. I can’t do this to you if you’re aromantic.”

“I’m what?” I asked.

“Aromantic. Probably. Maybe asexual, too. You don’t like dating and sex and things. Probably. I can’t tell you what you are or not. It’s just what I think. It made me feel like dating you would be safer. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used you like this.” Danny’s hand twitched, as if to reach for mine. To comfort me.

I hadn’t heard the terms before. Well, I knew ‘asexual’ from science courses, but I wasn’t a single celled organism.

“This is weird,” I said.

“Yeah,” Danny affirmed. “Very. Our parents hate us for it. At least mine do.”

“Yeah,” I said. I wasn’t sure about my parents, but they hated a lot of things that weren’t normal. “Yeah.”

#short story #short fiction #flash fiction #queer #queer fiction #queer characters #gay #gay characters #asexual #aromantic #lgbt representation #lgbtqia

[pl1200]

Simon & Daniel Info Masterpost

I've never really done one of these before so if anyone has any suggestions how to make this better, feel free to message me!

I'm not sure if anyone will ever even see this, but I've wanted to try making an RP and ask blog here for ages so here goes nothing! It's not going to be the fanciest, but I'll put as much as I can into everything here.

I've written one shots with a few thousand words in them, so I do know how to write decently long pieces - I just don't have much experience with multi-paragraph RP so please be patient! I'm willing to do both short and long reply RP and would love to answer any and all question directed at the boys. There's a lot of points here that apply mainly to human AUs - which is what I usually work with - but I feel like they translate well to canon with few modifications, if needed.

Information on both Simon and Daniel below the cut!

Basics

Gender: Male

Hair: Blond

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5'10'' (177.8cm)

Age: 28(ish - I don't have a solid age for them)

Simon

Full name: Simon Dakota Phillips-Lambert (last name subject to change depending on the scenario)

Nicknames: Si, Monny (by Daniel as toddlers)

Sexuality: Gay

Clothing Choice: Button up shirts and/or sweaters with nice pants or dark jeans and nice shoes

Likes: Baking, sweets, reading books, dabbling in writing his own stories, babysitting/being with kids, helping out where ever he can whenever he can

Dislikes: Injustice, big crowds, math, driving

Extra: He has anxiety and is constantly worrying about something. He wants a big family and has what Daniel lovingly coined "terminal baby fever;" so much as hearing kids be talked about makes him want one. He's faced a lot of discrimination and pain and wants to do what he can to prevent anyone else from experiencing that.

Daniel

Full name: Daniel Silas Jack Phillips-Lambert (last name subject to change same as Simon's and, yes, he hates how long it is very much)

Nicknames: Dan, Danny (by Simon and those very close)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Clothing Choice: T-shirts with black ripped jeans and expensive shoes or combat boots. A leather jacket, red beanie, lots of bracelets, and a collar choker are almost constant accessories. He also has many piercings including earrings, a lip ring and eyebrow bar on his left, nipple bars, and at least one on whatever is between his legs.

Likes: Cooking, eating, cars, mechanics in general, (over)protecting Simon, video games, sex

Dislikes: Being wrong, being talked down to, loosing, being perceived as anything other than "cool" or "edgy"

Extra: He collects many things including knives, lighters, shoes, and "adult toys." He has internalized homophobia and struggled with accepting that he's bi for a long time. He was the first born twin and takes great pride in being older (by 13 minutes, as Simon constantly reminds him)

NSFW

Simon: A fairly vanilla bottom, willing to try a kink or two at a time. Little to no experience with a partner. Discovers he at least has a praise and doctor RP kink.

Daniel: A switch with a strong preference for bottoming. Into many kinks involving hardcore BDSM. Has a very high and insatiable libido that leads to lots of sleeping around. Has a handful of friends with benefits and a large sex toy collection.

#masterpost #dbh simon #dbh daniel #simon dbh #daniel dbh #dbh rp #dbh ask #dbh #detroit become human