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#didnt need or expect it bcs its obvious for them I could see it coming a million miles away
unknowablecore · 2 years
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just finished re-reading Greywaren and I have some new thoughts about other things but all I can say at 1am on a work night is just... Ronan and Adam... there will never be another them...
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first-only · 2 years
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You know, knowing that the majority of the world does not/ has not read fanfiction is such a weird thing to me. And I don't mean that in a 'why aren't people more like me?' or a 'those people are weird' kinda way
I guess it's just cause fanfic is something that is very important to me, and is something that has made me happy, it's one of my core interest. This isn't just related to fic, all of my interests are like that. Whenever I see someone who has no interest in art, or writing, or thinking up stories, it kinda of boggles my mind a bit. And I think it's because I, myself, could not imagine being happy without those doing those hobbies and interests. But other people aren't me, and that is fine! People have a wide range of interests, and what makes someone happy won't be the same as some other people. People are different, and that is a good thing
It is still something that's a bit hard to wrap my head around (which is fine, as long as I don't act like an ass to people who have different interests) but I'm trying my best
right on, anon! brains work weird sometimes but we do reign them in lol
this is actually a very interesting view to me (but valid! very valid!), because when i was like getting into fanfiction and fandom in general it really wasnt that popularized ya know? like very few people knew this niche interest and social group existed, and there was this intra-culture view that all this is sort of a secret, that this is 'our space', its 'just for us'. (taken as a mantra from rpf ofc which is a good practice). so i never expected anyone i didnt meet in such spaces specifically to even /know/ they exist, let alone enjoy them. ive had this situation with a friend with whom we'd been friends for like over 2 years when i casually (accidentally maybe i dont remember anymore) mentioned fic and they literally jumped out of their chair like YOU KNOW WHAT FANFICTION IS?!?! it's still hilarious, we were actual friends for /two years/ and we never revealed our Secret Society cards to each other lol. but yes as it /is/ getting more popular now its more understandable to assume people would've at least heard about it, but still many people and places where its not that much of a thing! that and a lot of people dismiss it as 'cringy' and worthless and obsessed fangirl work which. wig ig lol. and even in more fandom-adjacent circles you'd see people /surprised/ when a fic is actually good bc they never gave fandom a chance, and just dismissed it as a cringy hobby (which is also fine but no need to be patronizing ya know). Personal experiences will shape the way you think of things
as for weird brain refusing to understand rational concepts - i had this meet up with reality when i studied coding. i was in a novice class with a lot of other people and some of them just... didnt get it. not necessarily the problems themselves, but like.. the essential idea of /how code works/. it was very weird to me. they insisted i must have previous experience to catch on that quickly, and well i did, but they were stumbling at the first steps, something that never gave me pause. i was really really shocked then, i just couldnt believe people couldnt grasp a basic function, and i realized i was coming off as a bit patronizing myself. it got to me that i was expecting more of people that just didnt have the perspective that i did. that prompted a whole discussion on How People Think, because it was obvious that these people not getting code were definitely not stupid, this was just a way of thinking that didnt agree with the way their thought process worked as whole. so in this discussion a lot of friends shared a bit of the insides of their minds and it was fascinating - i tend to think with words and images, visuals appearing along with a strong internal monologue. but my friends shared about thinking in concepts, in feelings, with no imagery at all, by association and memory alone. when asked to describe how we think of a specific object we all described the thought process differently ("i think of where it is now" "i think of who it belongs to" "i think of what it would be like to touch it" "i think of what color and shape it is" "i think of what personality it would have" "i think of how i feel about it" etc etc). so what im saying is.. brains weird. brains different. dont punish yourself for your brain deciding that an experience has to be universal if its so helpful to it personally. as long as you realize that emotions and actions and needs and rational decisions are different, albeit connected, all's good. brains man.
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tsukiyamavalentine · 2 years
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Not So Nice Post Before I Come Back Tomorrow:
Hey y’all. So I know I’m coming online tomorrow for the weekend but I just needed to come online and make a more negative post about something that happened on my birthday, before I can really get all excited about London.
So, basically, when I came back on my birthday, I was greeted by these in my inbox.
(TW: suic*de, sh, ableism, anon hate)
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(the bit in red is the R slur and the S word that people sometimes use for disabled ppl)
I believe these were in response to me addressing false accusations of hate anon about me.
Some of these anons dont rly make that much sense to me in context so I don’t know if maybe after i addressed the situation the ppl that accused me of stuff started talking abt me again or something (which i suspected tho i thought most of it was paranoia and the nightmares i was having, but then one of these ppl was literally camping my pinterest for ages after so idk), and then some nasty people saw that and decided to send me these. I genuinely don’t know though, it could just be that the people that sent these just saw my response, are fans/friends of those people and sent these. Either way, it really fucking sucks. I guess.
I honestly didnt think there’d be backlash to me defending myself. I didn’t do anything wrong. maybe I was naive in that, i even hoped i moght get an apology tho ik that wouldn’t happen. i didnt expect such cruel things. i didnt expect this at all.
When i saw these on my birthday i tried to ignore these bc i wanted to have a nice day and i thought that if i spoke about them, then the anons themselves or other people would come for me harder and i knew i wouldn’t survive that. I also just didn’t have the strength to talk about this on my birthday. I barely have the strength now, but I need to get this out of my system before the weekend in London, as I’m desperate to have a nice time there.
These asks are also not the worst of it. There were other asks about my dog which are just so disgusting. I will share them in a rb or separate post but they are awful.
The last few weeks since my bday have basically just been me trying not to seriously hurt myself because of these anons. My eating disorder and my sh have just gotten way worse bc of it, but tbh i think that’s kept me alive. if i wasn’t damaging myself, then id be dead. Even tho I’ve turned asks off, i still come on here scared that these people would’ve done something to my account or have targeted my other accounts. they haven’t yet, but someone was trying to get into my ao3 a few weeks ago and idk who that could be but maybe it was one of these ppl who sent the anons??
I know these people are just trolls who are powerless without anonymity, but i cant help but just believe them and give into hurting myself even more. i was already really struggling mentally after what went down and seeing these has just made it worse.
I’m very much used to ableism in my life, but not rly like this. i didnt rly think ppl like this existed anymore. it makes me sad to know there are people like this out there.
i dont know who sent them or what they get out of sending them. I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just defending myself from very serious false accusations against me, i don’t understand why these people hate me so much. I haven’t done anything. idk what ppl have been saying about me (if anything) and unless its more serious accusations then i don’t care. i literally havent done anything wrong. im so sick of this shit. I’m so done with everything. It’s obvious that there are so many people who just want me to die, including myself. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t understand this. If you hate me that much, at least have the courtesy to hate me without the mask of anonymity.
I’m scared posting this will lead to me being further targeted by these anons / other people, but idc. if they come after me and it kills me, then it kills me. so what. im too tired to care anymore. I just wanted to get this out there, so maybe i can enjoy my weekend and try and not think abt these anons as much anymore.
i don’t know who sent the anons or why but i hope you got what you wanted.
That’s all. I will post the asks about my dog in a minute. I apologise for posting such negative things but i just can’t take it anymore its been haunting my brain for like weeks now i just want it to go away. I sort of had the confidence to talk abt these now which is why I’m here today. I’m sorry. if those anons are reading this then pls just leave me alone. i havent done anything wrong.
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lunar-lattice · 6 months
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alrighty fellas thoughts on the fnaf movie under the cut
its everything i wanted!! such a love letter to the fans too without coming off as too much. i was rly worried it was gonna be too egregious with the fanservice. the story went and did its own thing but it preserved the basic story beats as well as making it coherent and i appreciate that a lot
i know ppl will be disappointed mike is not an afton but i like that. the connection to william was obvious but i still enjoyed it (tho i feel its a bit shoehorn-y but oh well. aint the first time a story has asked me to just accept a story beat). also i just love his characterization? totally my fav archetypes of 'good guy but hes a bit of an asshole' and 'good older brother'
(also he reminds me of my liam so double points)
the afton reveal we did get was so obvious that i discarded it in my 'trying to figure out vanessa' thinking but it worked. kinda sad tho this not only did 'afton kid fights against dad' better than the games but also just made vanessa more interesting than sb did
the animated intro was delightful and one of the things where you can tell they did their research
almost missed the matpat cameo bc he rly just looked like A Guy, mad at how natural it was (not rly, im glad it wasn't very egregious)
was very startled by the girl getting chomped, i was so sure the trailers were setting her up to get her head chomped but nope! get bisected
the animatronics were uncanny but in a good way! uncanny bc they look like theyve been pulled straight from the game files but like. theyre real. they move!
on that note, the lighter scenes with them delighted me so. i told a friend i rly hoped they would really lean into the tragedy of the children and it did not disappoint. i see ppl didnt like them but i think theyre important both to show theyre just kids as well as making the violence afterwards even scarier
golden freddy was…. suspiciously underused
id say william was too but no. it was the right amount of william afton. any more and he'd be running away with the whole movie
the climax was exactly as i expected but still surprised me. in fact i straight up forgot about the most iconic line in the series and was SO excited when it dropped
what can i say but I was so excited abt the credits song. it felt too fanservicey to actually happen but yet….
I wish i could go back to 2013 and show this to my younger self
and now. some theories and other speculation
obvious move for next movie is 2 but i honestly think its gonna be 3 with flashbacks to 2. the sequel hook was too damn obvious and tantalizing to fans to not get Right to it. also the 'COME FIND ME' in the credits works with this idea
…that being said, using the puppet's music box in the credits. maybe its the puppet that we need to come find
who exactly is william afton in this universe? i think its going with modern canon and that he was a owner/co-owner of the pizzeria. the way he talked about the owner being sentimental? felt like he was sharing a private joke with himself
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xtodorcki · 3 years
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Ok so how bout an Erwin fic where the reader is Hanji’s assistant and they’re rly shy but Erwin finds her rly cute esp whenever they’re flustered or blushing. When he loses his arm hanji absentmindedly assigns the reader to shave his face when he’s in the infirmary and they’re both just left there like 😀 and there’s a lot of tension bc he keeps staring at them and the reader keeps on blushing but is v gentle omg I would be foaming at the mouth if you wrote this
“The Assistant,” Erwin x Reader
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I shall deliver to my Erwin simps.
Summary: you’re Hange’s assistant and your newest assignment is to take care of Erwin after he was wounded, resulting in losing his arm.
Warnings: none, fluffy Erwin.
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It was unexpected and out of character for you to join the scouts. Even though you didn’t technically join the scouts fully, being Hange’s assistant was still like being apart of them.
You had begged her to let you work under her since you were absolutely fascinated by her work and the way she loved science just as much as you did, it was perfect fit and when she agreed you loved every single day of it.
When news came back that Commander Erwin had been seriously injured while out on a expedition, you had grown worried for your Captain as you waited back the main base.
Once everyone made it back, your eyes had instantly went on Erwin and noticed his whole arm was missing and you were more than shocked at the scene before you.
After everyone had managed to settle in back at the base, you were called to Hange’s office and you assumed it would be an assignment.
“I’m sorry that this assignment isn’t what you’re expecting or what you want but I’m putting my full trust in you and to take care of the Commander while he’s in the infirmary. He needs assistance.” She had explained to you and you nodded your head, not questioning her reason to send you to his side.
The way towards the infirmary had felt like a long one, you were actually quite nervous to assist the Commander and take care of him. Sure you had met him a few times, you do admit he is rather attractive and definitely intimidating so by nature you were nervous.
You were scared to mess this assignment up, you were scared to see Erwin in such a state and being unable to do certain things for himself. You were practically his nurse and that made you grow uneasy, afraid of screwing things up.
Your shaky hand reached up to gently knock on the door, hearing his approval to come in and you opened it up to see him on the bed, the absence of his arm had made the sleeve of the hospital gown limp and hanging on his shoulder.
“Hange sent me here-“
“I know, come in.” He insisted, gesturing you to fully come in the room and you did, standing there awkwardly for a few minutes, your cheeks heating up.
“Anything I can get you?”
“Maybe a cup of water for now? Kind of thirsty and they won’t let me get up and fetch it myself.” A small chuckle had left his lips and you nodded before leaving the room.
As you poured the water in the cup, your hand shaky and you had cursed to yourself for being so nervous about this. It wasn’t that big of a deal but the side of you that was super anti social and naturally shy, it made things a lot harder.
Your feet made its way back inside the room, resting the cup on the table beside him before standing there in front of him, chewing on your bottom lip.
Erwin had seen your nervousness and shyness as something really cute. He could tell how badly you didnt want to mess things up and he also noticed how your cheeks would flush when he would make eye contact with you. He tried not to make things obvious, hiding the smirk wanting to come across his face as he took sips of the water.
“One more thing,” He started off, setting the cup aside on the table.
“I need help shaving this mess off my face, if you don’t mind?” He asked you, raising his eyebrow while he kept the eye contact until you answered.
“Yeah, of course.” You agreed, you couldn’t just say no to the Commader, you were assigned to help his needs until he was comfortable enough.
You sucked in a sharp breath, grabbing all the items you needed and sat on the bed in front of him. You had moved the table to be beside you and you had nervously spread the shaving cream on his face, making it too obvious that your hands were still shaky.
Erwin had watched you closely, his eyes burning into you while you tried to remain concentrated on what you were doing but it was pretty hard for you to ignore his stares considering you felt how intense it was.
A couple of times you would lock eyes then quickly break the contact as your cheeks flushed red. You were positive your face looked as red as a tomato. You couldn’t believe how flushed you were but it was happening.
You carefully took the razor, dragging it down his jawline and he was very interested in your concentration as well as your desire to not meet his gaze, it amused him actually.
The tension in the room was so thick that you could choke on it. The both of you weren’t dumb, you can sense it and feel it surrounding the both of you but you tried to play it dumb, continuing to drag the razor down his skin gently, wiping the shaving cream off and repeating the same actions.
Erwin never looked at you fully for the first time before this day but when he had no choice but to look at you while you helped shaved his face, he couldn’t help but stare for minutes at a time. He liked the way your cheeks would turn pink to red in an instant, he liked the way you would scrunch up your nose and bite your lip while you were concentrating. He admitted you were a cute little thing.
“What made you want to be Hange’s assistant?” He finally spoke up, wanting to make things less awkward and tensed than what it is now.
“Um, I’m a big science nerd like she is.” You laughed slightly, meeting his gaze then looking back down.
“So you enjoy studying Titans like her, right?”
“Hm, yeah, I suppose.” You simply shrugged your shoulders, finishing off the last spot.
You grabbed the small towel, wiping off the remaining shaving cream off his face and smiled at how well you actually did.
“There, all clean.” You set the things down on the table, watching Erwin put up a small mirror and looked at his now clean face.
“Thank you, I really appreciate your help.” He admitted, resting his hand on your upper arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.
You had felt a small tingle in your stomach, just as you thought you were comfortable he definitely made you completely nervous again. This time you tried your best to keep your cheeks from turning a shade of pink but some color ended up popping up anyways, not as much as before.
Erwin smiled sweetly at you, removing his hand and you stood up from the bed gathering up the materials on the table to go put away before returning to the end of his bed.
“If there’s nothing else, I can leave you be.”
“Actually, stay with me for a bit. I like your company.”
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The Erwin simps will be blessed with this work of art. Enjoy. Even tho it’s rather short🤧
• Main Masterlist •
• AOT Masterlist •
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rainyhuman · 3 years
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This is ur invite to rant ab the sh finale,,,, 👀
THANK YOU!!!
ok SO 
the obvious is that it was rushed which i dont really blame them for because they did what they could and like thank god we got the malec wedding right BUT
there were NO scenes of magnus with his family before his wedding however there were scenes of alec with his family so like????? (ofc why did i expect anything else, like im not saying alec shouldn't have scenes with his family but what about magnus??)
magnus did all the planning??? bitch no he didnt alec and magnus did it together bc theyre BOTH getting married and they BOTH are excited about it
we have this wholeass talk with fucking jace who's so surprised about the fact that ALEC IS GOING TO LIVE WITH HIS HUSBAND??? and then he's like "don't be a stranger" and we wasted minutes on this stupid talk for no reason because guess what? alec goes halfway across the world away from jace so like WHAT WAS THE POINT????? WE COULD'VE HAD MAGNUS WITH CAT, RAPHAEL AND MADZIE BUT NO (a 1 minute scene of them helping him get ready would've been ENOUGH)
we didn't even get to see magnus asking cat to be his best woman like WHY
iNSTEAD we got a fucking lorenzo redemption arc WHICH BTW wasnt even a fucking good redemption it was the typical 'the show is ending so we're going to give this character who made the main characters' lives miserable a redemption arc so that its all happy!!!!!' like fuck OFF
and then to top it all off we had fucking reyhill becoming canon which we did not need (them being gay is literally homophobic i can't) like people literally FORGOT that lorenzo made magnus' life fucking miserable (didn't allow other warlocks to help him -> magnus lost his magic, fucking took his loft when he has a MANSION) just bc he was confirmed as queer like S T O P IT
omfg also izzy deserved to be alec's suggenes like who did alec go to for magnus advice??? who wanted their happiness from the starting??? who DESERVED to be suggenes???? IZZY DID!!!! NOT FUCKING JACE (who we all know was suggenes just because hes alec's parabatai)
also um RAPHAEL DESERVED TO WALK MAGNUS DOWN THE AISLE (HIS FUCKING SON NOT MARYSE) look i get it, maryse got a bs redemption arc which she did nothing to work towards and she was the one who told magnus that alec was going to propose but omfg magnus is centuries old,,,,,,, he's wanted to be married for SO long and maryse is an ex circle member, she's killed many of his friends and his people and its such a slap in the face to not have his OWN SON walk him down the aisle instead of MARYSE
WE GOT MADZIE DANCING WITH LORENZO INSTEAD OF MAGNUS AND CAT AND ALEC AND RAPHAEL!!!!!!! LIKE WHAT???? i deserved to see madzie dancing with magnus can you imagine 🥺🥺🥺
look even if magnus forgave lorenzo (which um no he shouldn't have, people are allowed to be mad at their abusers shut up with the forgive and forget bs) cat and alec and raphael wouldn't,,,,,, do ANY of them seem like the forgiving type? especially when it comes to magnus? NO they don't
ragnor is alive and should've been at the wedding tbh
also um i know the only reason behind the wedding being at the institute was spite (and also bc they had no time) but magnus deserved to have his first and only wedding in a place that was not a place of oppression for his people and for this very reason It Is Canon that they have vow renewals every decade at fancy places that they both love
ALSO luke wasn't at the fucking wedding WHY? (ik they gave a reason but i dont remember it and it was probably bullshit)
tldr: i KNOW they didn't have the time but they wasted what time they DID have on stupid fucking scenes
anyway um ik i just complained about a ton of things (and ykw im not going to apologise for it, i am right) but one thing i loved was malec's last scene it was just so 🥺😭💖 like the parallel....... it kills me every time
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heyitsyn · 4 years
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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 3
a/n: uwuwuwuwu this is an au since yanno,,,, they didnt really make it to nationals :(
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
GUESS WHOS BACK! BACK AGAIN!
anon:
may i request a scenario where seijoh made it to nationals and atsumu flirts with reader🥺
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CAN WE BLS STOP THIS SANGWOO/ATSUMU TYPA BEAT BC I HONESTLY DONT VIBE W IT AND IT LOWKEY SCARES ME A LITTLE :o
OMLOMLOML YALL MADE IT TO NATIONALS
to be honest, it was,,, unexpected
you were sitting there, on the bench and gripping it in anticipation as seijoh and shiratorizawa were once again at a match point thanks to kyotani’s angry spike
going past 31, they were now 31-30 with seijoh in the lead
you could tell ushijima was getting antsy despite him covering it up and encouraging his team with a one-liner
your own team was buzzing with both nervousness and hope and iwaizumi was clenching and unclenching his fists in anticipation for the last toss
when the ball went up, oikawa’s eyes flashed, arms moving to set and the red-haired spiky guy was now watching which spiker he was going to give it to
however
he tossed it to no one
instead, oikawa’s hand flicked and he dumped the ball
it was like in slow motion and as shiratorizawa’s players scrambled to the floor, 
it was too late
the ball bounced on yellow polished floor before rolling away, completely unaware of what just happened and the lives it just changed
your mouth hung open, eyes trailing after the rubber ball like every single people in the gym
then it finally hit you
‘YOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
a scream from iwaizumi lit the candle of happiness and you didnt even care, running out to the court to jump on your captain, tears flowing down his face and his arms squeezing you tightly against his chest
‘AKLDFJJSHKFEOIOWIHFSKESIFOEWIHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
it was all a jumbled noise from everyone, your team, your coaches, the fans in the stand, and even from that orange boy and his team
the boys were hugging each other and crying and sobbing but oikawa’s hold remained on you, your own tears mixing with his sweat and coating his neck
‘you did it, oikawa-san. you did it’
you whimpered and he laughed and you felt him nodding
‘we’re going to tokyo. nationals!’
he choked out 
‘OIKAWA!’
the entire gym rumbled and you basked in the joy that the entire team radiated before having to stand with the coaches so they could shake hands with shiratorizawa for a good game
the locker room was loud, even much louder than the gym, with kindaichi’s loud sobbing and mattsuhana’s loud celebratory singing and iwaizumi’s joking shouts and eventually joining in
iwaizumi held his arms out for you and you giggled, crashing straight into him
you wiped his sweat filled face and he sat down on the bench, with you standing between his legs and his large hands gripping your waist
‘it’s not a dream, right?’
he whispered, eyes closed at the gentle feeling of you caressing his face
‘no, iwa-san. nationals is ours’
you soothed and he let out another loud laugh before pulling you close and burying his face in your stomach, probably crying again but this time, out of joy
for years theyve tried
and now, they succeeded
well,,, nationals should be a good thing, right?
hmm,,, maybe the honor of going
but the other players??
oh god
it was obvious when miyagi’s representative entered through those doors and eyes immediately went to their manager
it wasnt like you were the only female manager but you were an unfamiliar team so you have never been seen before
uwu youre so pretty like bow down to the goddess
oikawa’s hold on your hand was tight and his eyes flitted to everyone who looked at them, as if signalling them to back off and you were his
‘wahh, oikawa-san! kageyama told me that the best of the best are in here! he told me to look for fukurodani and nekoma!’
seijoh’s eye twitched at the mention of your new-found friend who you’ve been texting back and forth and him secretly teaching you everything about volleyball since your own team has been too busy preparing for nationals
they watched you try and stand in your tippy toes to find the apparent red and black jerseys and the black, white and gold jerseys
hmm,,,, it seems everyone had the same colors
‘ne, y/n-chan, you trust our team, don’t you? if anything, we’re part of the best of the best! you got the best setter right here!’
oikawa grinned but you nodded distractedly
‘come on, we got to go unpack and train’
iwaizumi nudged so you had to stop looking and you followed your captain, who still held your hand
but this is a typical fanfiction ladies and gents
as you were walking towards the locker room, there was a team that wore maroon colored jackets and were walking towards you
again, this is seijoh’s very first nationals so nobody really knew of them
they were more familiar of the white and purple jackets of shiratorizawa rather than the mint green and white of seijoh
however, oikawa seemed to know them
‘ah’
he whispered out, making you look up at him but his sights were straight towards them, a hard and cold look
‘ara? fresh blood?’
you cringed at the weird analogy and the guy with the black tips, who you infered to be the captain, elbowed him
 ‘excuse us’
he nodded in greeting and you noticed the guy with the bleach hair and you did a double-take, blinking rapidly
‘oh sangwoo?’
KSLDFJKDLFJSLDK KILL ME ALREADY
watari coughed, knowing exactly what you meant and it seems nobody else did except for the sangwoo look-a-like
and he raised an eyebrow in interest
‘hm? you called?’
another guy with gray hair, who looked exactly like him, rolled his eyes and he pulled him forward to walk after their captain
but he didnt let off yet
as he passed you by, he leaned close, breath fanning your ear
‘but its miya atsumu, baby girl’
ON GOD I WANT TO COMMIT WITH HOW GROSS HE IS LIKE BLS
kyo, who was behind you, growled at him and pulled you behind himself
‘she has name, fcker’
atsumu faked a surprise and backed away with his hands up
‘alrighty, then. didnt know you had a bodyguard, girlie. but maybe,, later on, we could get to know each other. alone’
YALL THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER LATER I PROMISE HES NOT A WEIRDO PERVERT AS HE SOUNDS
osamu was annoyed and dragged him away, leaving you with your team, who were also extremely pissed off, especially oikawa
‘heh, the best setter in the country and yet he acts like a horny dog’
oikawa seethed, a pointy smile etched on his face
‘eh? best setter?’
you wondered but not given an answer because your captain would be damned if that atsumu decided to show up again
the locker room was actually the same back home
but kindaichi was sobbing again
‘t-this room! the best of the best! i cant-too much-’
you were busy hugging him and wiping his tears to notice the third years huddling over by the corner
oikawa was sitting on the bench while iwaizumi was changing into his practice jersey and the other two were flanked beside the captain
‘of course theyve got their eye on her now’
oikawa mumbled, fingers laced together and touching his lips
‘what can you expect? y/n-chan is an extremely pretty girl’
mattsun shrugged
‘but ugh, if i see that cheese face again,, i will fight’
iwa threatened, angrily slipping his arms through the holes
‘he reeked nasty! gross!’
makki agreed
‘so we’re agreeing to keep her in our sights right?’
they agreed to oikawa’s question and were going to stick by that word
but,,,,
what can you expect from star-struck players?
maybe its because theyve worked for so long to reach this point that the fact that they’re even standing in the tokyo stadium felt like a dream
‘guys, i need to go and fill the bottles really quick’
they mumbled distracted agreements so you sighed and lugged the crate of bottles
thank god there was a fountain nearby and as you were capping the last one, a familiar voice rang from behind you
‘oh? baby girl?’
you flinched at the weird nickname and thought that if you stayed quiet, hed leave
‘chibi? hey?’
he asked and made his way to your side, you closing your eyes and looking off to the side
atsumu thought you were interesting, not like every girl who would spread their legs at him and press up to him
the fact that you even AVOIDED looking at him was so foreign to him and your dismissive attitude made him so drawn to you
‘look, im sorry if i made ya uncomfortable earlier’
he,,, apologized?
but you didnt know who he was so you didnt know how out of character it was for him to even say ‘sorry’
'miya-san, hello’
you mumbled, eyes now opened but still focused on the bottle you gripped
he cracked a smile and was he,,,, nervous?
usually, hed say something dumb or sarcastic to cut the tension, but it was like he was even,,, careful,,, with what he wanted to say next
‘how-um-you like it ‘ere?’
if osamu was to see him now, he’d think his brother was kidnapped by those aliens oikawa swore up and down were real and was replaced by some opposite dimension version of atsumu
you gulped, mustering up a small smile before turning to look at him
‘miya-san, dont take offense to this, but just know i have a very loud voice and i can lift 80 pounds. and im the first one to ever beat iwa-san in an arm-wrestling match’
you puffed your cheeks in intimidation with your eyebrows furrowed but accidentally looking more cute rather than scary
were you,,, threatening him?
atsumu paused for a second to assess the situation and really understand the underlying meaning of your words
then he laughed
a real hearty laugh that made him go for a whole minute
‘-ahahaha!! whew, chibi-chan, ya’r a rare one’
wait i dont know how to type you’re with an accent !!!!!
he let out a few more chuckles then wiped a tear that fell
you just stood there 🧍‍♀️ 
‘you think its funny, miya-san? yahaba-kun and i also have a supernatural telepathy phenomenon-’
‘chibi-chan, i swear i wont hurt ya’
he promised but you backed your face away, an eyebrow raised
‘thats what they all say. if anything, youre scaring me more so i’ll-’
‘wait’
he held out a hand out but he quickly curled it, pulling it back to his chest
‘i,,,, listen i know how basic this may sound but,,,, youre the first to ever be like this to me’
you rolled your eyes
‘you think i havent heard that before? i have oikawa-san in my team, for god’s sake! ‘youre one of a kind’ ‘youre not like other girls’ yadda yadda’ try harder, miya-san’
you tilted your head with a crooked smile 
were you,,, playing hard to get?!
atsumu’s eyes shined, wanting to finally do the chasing rather than being chased
‘well, first off, chibi-chan, i need to know your name’
he leaned forward with his hands buried deep inside his maroon jacket pocket
‘my name? what good will that do? you already call me something else dont you? a name is meant to help people call each other and youve been calling me ‘chibi’ so what’s the point of giving you my birth name?’
even with a straight face, atsumu right away knew of your teasing as your eyes were shining brightly and had a hint of amusement in them
oh my god hes in love with you
he was in disbelief of your attitude towards him so he nodded slowly and laughed again
‘what can i do to earn that name then, chibi-chan?’
ehehehe kuroo,,,,, im in danger
you crossed your arms and pouted, leaning forward
‘ehh? why do you want it so bad? do you call others ‘chibi’ too?’
your expression of suspicion was so adorable that he couldnt stop himself from lunging forward and squeezing your cheeks between his fingers
‘so cute. youre my only chibi, chibi-chan’
you hummed, swiftly wiping his touch away from you
‘doubt it. ive only met you today and you’re already acting like this. what makes you think i think youre genuinely interested in me, miya-san?’
‘fate?’
this time, you chuckled, head leaning down
and as you looked back up, your heart stopped
by the distance, there was a familiar-looking haired boy with golden eyes and an also familiar black hair and steel blue eyes
oh dear
your emotions went sour but you saw the black and white-haired male laugh and the steel eyed male shake his head in disapproval but had the hint of the smallest smile
they,, were now happy
‘fate, you say’
you mumbled distractedly
‘fate instilled magnets in us so i just cant help but be drawn to ya’
atsumu grinned but you averted your eyes to look at him, a soft and genuinely happy look
‘would those magnets be strong enough to draw us together, even if we were in another life? if we were fated, would we meet again?’
you looked up at him, your eyes still glistening but this time, with the slightest bit of hope
atsumu sent you a confused glance but he still shrugged
‘i guess so, if i’m so drawn to you right now. maybe in our past life we were,,, together?’
he tested out, expecting you to roll your eyes and walk away but you laughed
‘well, i just witnessed it happening so maybe its possible?’
you wondered out loud
atsumu blinked again, getting more and more interested in you
‘chibi-chan?’
he asked you and you jumped slightly to look at him with a smile
‘say, miya-san, what if i told you that i remember my past life? and what would you say if i told you that you were in it?’
you grinned but atsumu scrunched his face together before smiling
‘hmm, i dont know what youre sayin but it proves my point!’
he exclaimed but you cocked an eyebrow, a sad smile resting on your lips
‘now what would you say if i told you that you were my nurse?’
a/n: omg i actually hate how this turned out like bls blast me on this
a/n pt 2: during my break, i actually re-read ‘in another life’ and i wrote this up after i finished it again and can i just say? I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CREDITS TO LITTLELUXRAY ON AO3
a/n pt 3: hewwo im back again and since no one replied with a link, i can,,, guess??,,, that the book is gone??? or taken down?? but anyways, i just really wanted to post something and tbh, stuff like this cant be helped but i really do hope that it’s gone and if its not, dkasjdfkslf again send me the link
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bloodbenderz · 4 years
Note
Can I ask what your season 1 Lok reboot looks like?
this is about 3k words i checked lmfao dont say i didnt warn u
a key part of the whole thing is that korra gets way more perspectives and more experiences representative of like, normal people in republic city bc i think something that really defined what a good avatar aang was was how many people he met and got to know and how he didnt exclusively or even mostly associate w cops and bureaucrats and leaders. so mako and bolin. well first of all their backstories are a little more fleshed out and we get a less black and white view of the “triads” (lol) and mako and bolin’s experiences w them. cuz the show very much does the whole thing of like Criminals Bad but dont worry even tho mako and bolin did commit crimes theyre not Criminals!! so just a little more nuance on the alleged gang problem and the poverty in the city
korra does start out very naive w very black and white ideas (ex. “you guys are CRIMINALS?”) i think a really good way of developing her away from her sheltered naive worldview is putting her in whats clearly an incredibly complicated city w an absolute cesspool of political conflicts, ethnic tensions, the lasting effects of colonization, etc and having her try and understand the needs of “the people” in a more complicated way than “i have to save the good guys from the bad guys” ykwim? and i think the absolute WORST way to do that is what they did. bc we get mako and bolin who could contribute genuinely compelling thematic elements to the story: one parent who was indigenous and one who was from a colonizer background in the decades directly following the end of the war, kids who grew up in poverty apparently without any familial support, and who now are trying to be “respectable” members of society (especially mako). and then most of that is pretty much tossed aside bc asami swoops in w her capitalist dad and her piles of money and the class issue is just never talked about again.
so the way i’d fix all that is like. introducing more, like, normal people. some nonbenders, more workers, more immigrants, etc, to show what daily life is actually like for people. because. we dont know! we dont have any context about whether the nonbender oppression thing is actually an issue bc we dont KNOW any nonbenders with normal lives! and spoiler: the nonbender oppression thing is not an issue. bc it doesnt make historical sense. lok is set 7 decades after the end of the war. that is not by ANY stretch of the imagination long enough to heal from the scars of imperialism, ESPECIALLY not when lok is also set in a settler colonial state. like that fact should have featured PROMINENTLY in the political and social setting! realistically, nonbenders arent an oppressed class, earth and water nation people are, regardless of bending status! as in all settler colonial states, the colonizers and their descendants (in this case fire nation people) retain most of the financial and political capital, leaving the colonized and racialized immigrants (in this case earth kingdom and water tribe people respectively) generally impoverished and politically suppressed. like aside from the fact that theres no way toph would have become a cop, it’s so ridiculous to think that an established privileged class of fire nation colonizers would EVER accept being policed by earthbenders!
imagine how much more nuanced and interesting it would be to set republic city as a remnant of a colonial past still fraught w the violence and tension that colonialism and the associated ideology imposed?? instead of some vague ideas of criminal who wear 1920s outfits and harass shopkeepers think about why extralegal and violent groups like that might form! earth kingdom people trying to push for the reclamation of their land? ethnic groups protecting themselves against corrupt cops? ESPECIALLY w the history that the fire nation has of SPECIFICALLY jailing and killing earthbenders and waterbenders BECAUSE of the potential they have to resist against fire nation imperialism like it just makes no sense at all that earthbenders would be privileged on land that, 70 years ago, they would have been imprisoned on! like these various paramilitary groups falling along these different ideological or ethnic lines, fire nation or earth kingdom or water tribe, pro colonization or anti colonization, pro cop or anti cop, pro immigrant or anti immigrant, and then you juxtapose that w depictions of a govt thats failing to keep this all under control w tenzin trying desperately to keep it together despite the fact that it’s becoming increasingly obvious that the state has no interest in taking the conflicts seriously and would rather just point vague fingers at criminals and gangs? and THEN you bring in korra, who has no idea about any of this and thinks that all its gonna take is kicking some ass every couple days, meeting normal people who offer all kinds of different opinions abt the efficacy of the state and the different violent or nonviolent groups and ideologies clashing in the city and the way all this shit is affecting people’s lives and livelihoods and relationships w other citizens??
theres so much good shit there so many incredible things u could do w that like Where do we go after colonial atrocities? is it possible for a settler colonial state to take revolutionary or indigenous ideas seriously? is liberal reform enough in a state like this? and then all the growth that korra could do going from a simple black and white life about mastering the elements to this messy complicated sociopolitical knot of a city? and all the different kinds of characters u could introduce in this city? like why would u EVER think that the most interesting characters that this story has to offer is a police chief a congressman and a billionaire????
but anyways. that’s what the Setting of my idealized version of lok is. as for the actual plot, it is as follows
it starts out similarly as the show. republic city is MUCH more fraught w political tension and violence and korra knows this but assumes that it’s just a matter of throwing a few gang leaders and corrupt officials in jail. tenzin manages to come see them in the south pole and intends give korra real lessons while he’s there but they receive news of a terrorist attack in republic city only a few days after he gets there so his family has to pack up and leave again.
korra stows away to republic city (katara catches her leaving and gives her blessing im a SUCKER for that moment). she does have a hard time adjusting but she doesn’t do what she did in the show lol the first person she meets in the city is this older woman who works on the docks, directs her to a place where she can eat and gives her a roof to sleep under for the first night. so korra’s first exposure to republic city is just about forming connections w ordinary people like ship workers and a family owned restaurant and people practicing their bending in the park. and by the time she reaches air temple island a day or so later her head is spinning w all this new information and the way that nothing is really what she expected it to be. tenzin gives her his own perspective on everything and pema gives her her own perspective on everything and even those two seem wildly different from all the people she’s already met. and so korra starts to get a kind of outline of the conflicts plaguing the city as extremely complex and a lot more influenced by older ideas of fire nation imperialism and earth kingdom land reclamation than she had any idea about.
mako and bolin are still pro benders but not like. super famous like they are in the show. korra’s picked up a couple friends by now and one of them takes her to a gym where a lot of amateur pro bending (is that an oxymoron? lol) matches happen and thats how she meets mako and bolin and joins their pro bending team. Unfortunately for korra, this gym is run by lin beifong, and also has the distinction of being one of the most notoriously anti settler state organizations in the country. lin beifong is NOT a cop but she runs this gym (and the pro bending league) as a way to offer support to local earth kingdom/water tribe youth, teach self defense skills, a center of community organizing, and sometimes to act as a front to hide revolutionary/combat organizing against the pro fire nation paramilitaries/police force. tenzin is DISTRAUGHT that korra does this and this is where the friction btwn them comes from bc (from tenzin’s perspective) she does things like this without thinking or even fully understanding the context behind them and tenzin will have to deal w the political fallout of the avatar openly aligning herself w a very divisive figure in the community and (from korra’s perspective) tenzin is too unwilling to take sides in a conflict that’s claiming lives and when the state is clearly not taking sufficient steps to protect people well then why the hell shouldnt she align herself w lin beifong, who IS taking steps to protect and support people?
as korra more fully integrates herself into the city and learns more abt how different people think abt everything going on this is where the real exposition abt the equalists begins. they’re a paramilitary group w an ideology thats gaining increasing support among middle/upper class fire nation people, esp nonbenders. on the face theyre abt putting checks on “bender oppression” but really it’s an excuse to persecute and surveil earthbenders waterbenders and airbenders, bc fire nation people have all this leftover fear about benders who arent fire nation Rising Up Against them and these people who r using their Savage Excuse for Bending to terrorize good innocent (fire nation) people. theres all too frequent terrorist attacks that the equalists claim credit for mostly against monuments to earth/water/air nation people and earth/water nation community centers (one like it was the event that forced tenzin back to republic city) but also like the govt doesnt take a lot of these seriously or if they do only a couple people are charged without doing damage to the entire organization
this is also around the time that they meet asami and she becomes part of their friend group. asami likes pro bending but her dad HATES it so she sneaks out to watch matches at lin beifong’s gym (korra says ironically like don’t u know how ~divisive~ that is and asami answers that the only reason its Not divisive is that gyms like beifongs are the only place where nobody recognizes her). and asami alongside korra is also kind of developing a more nuanced perspective on the city that she lives in cuz obviously the only worldview she’s ever been exposed to is her father’s right? and she keeps pushing it off making excuses not to bring mako and bolin and korra around to her house or even not to be seen w them in certain neighborhoods until they call her on it and she’s like Well honestly my dad might do something awful to u! and i dont wanna risk it!
and as time goes on we see more abt asami’s home life like her father’s hyper conservative politics and asami keeps these secrets abt her hobbies and her friends from him but she’s still clearly under his influence and mako bolin and korra r getting increasingly worried abt it cuz like...asami seems to tend to make excuses for him so that she wont have to be drawn into conflict and originally they think its just her being privileged and thats def part of it but the more they find out abt it the more they realize what a tight fucking grip he has on her and the way that like. asami sneaking out once or twice a week is the Only thing she does for herself. and it really starts freaking them out how influential this billionaire is and all the information theyre getting from asami abt what a piece of shit he clearly is. and so that whole plot thing comes about and shows us how deeply embedded these “equalist” ideas are in conservative republic city politics and how much influence theyre actually having in policy making and law enforcement.
asami suffers in the aftermath of this like being forced to truly confront the harm her father is doing both to the city and to herself. and she ends up leaving home when this discovery really breaks. but bc of the deep corruption in govt and police sato isn’t really....dealt with? like this big story breaks and everyones like Oh, My God! Hiroshi Sato Is Funding An Illegal Paramilitary Group! and theres all kinds of inane political discourse about it and he’s arrested but he bails himself out immediately and his finances are examined but he maintains control over them and after a few weeks the gang (bc they Have become close among all this w much less interpersonal drama lol) has to admit that this news story hasnt done what they thought it was going to it hasn’t dealt the equalists a real hit its just given them a very high profile ally
and this is when things really start to ramp up in terms of action like up until now korra’s daily activities are mostly like hanging around in the city w her friends  (which in part entails doing little avatar stuff that people dont feel comfortable going to police with, like Can you help me my ex husband wont pay child support or Please help i got robbed and i really needed that money for rent next month or Help my son keeps skipping school can you talk to him cuz im worried abt him being safe and doing well in school) and pro bending and airbending lessons (which i know ive neglected this part of the story in terms of her whole spiritual/physical conflict but it’s more of a subtle thing like it’s one of tenzin and korra’s more frequent arguments like tenzin says she needs to focus on spirituality and korra asks why she even needs to bc republic city is a sociopolitical problem not a spiritual one) but now the equalist threat seems to really be looming on every level of society like the storyline of equalists preventing pro bending matches happens here and everyones just at a total loss of what to do next. plus increasing and scary rhetoric about tenzin and his family that destroying the last airbenders is necessary to preserving the integrity of the united republic
and so theres the equalist takeover of the city. the people who are mostly resisting this are lin and ragtag group of people who have been resisting colonial rule for a long time (including suyin, who is part of a communist anti colonial community outside the city, because i said so and i think it would be fun), people who have been visiting her gym for years, members of her amateur pro bending league, plus asami and korra and tenzin. korra and tenzin have a sweet moment (bc they do genuinely care abt each other a lot even if their relationship has been marked w a lot of tension and arguing) where tenzin says like you know i think that ive lost focus on the kind of spirituality that might actually help you. korra says what do you mean? and tenzin kind of gestures to where theyre sitting with people buzzing around organizing to take care of innocents and civilians and to fight the equalists and he says this is a kind of spiritual too, isnt it?
and something something plot plot blah blah i havent decided on the details of the plot climax yet but that’s the climax of korra’s character development and what helps her connect w her spiritual side in order to protect the city: the realization that community is its own kind of spirituality. and it kind of represents the real development that i want her to have going from somebody who thinks that the world is divided into criminals and victims and she has to save the victims Into the kind of avatar who understands the people that she’s bound to serve. she becomes an avatar of the people!
and then happy ending lol korra and asami get together lin and tenzin reconcile after years of being at odds the show ends on a hopeful note that the inhabitants of republic city and the united republic as a whole Can move on from the scars of colonialism by reckoning w the remnants of fire nation colonial ideology and reparations to the earth kingdom people whose land this is and destruction of colonial systems that have maintained and enforced colonial violence all these years
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stonerz4sokka · 3 years
Text
the gaang (& co.) on zoom
aang: ALWAYS mixes up his class times and it isn’t until sokka helps build his schedule and set reminders on aang's phone that he actually shows up to the right class at the right time, always excited to be there but is constantly getting distracted by the littlest things (doesn’t help that his window is behind his computer), isn’t afraid to tell the teacher when the hw assigned is too much (the whole class thanks him for that), types jokes in the class chat, wears his appa print pajamas to class everyday, motivates people to stay optimistic during these ‘troubling times’ (and it works)
katara: wears sweatpants and a crewneck everyday but NEVER forgets to do her hair, talks shit about the ugly white girls in their class (some are sokka’s exes) with zuko, wants to do pranks with toph but is too scared of getting caught (though she eventually does a few),  takes the lead in breakout rooms bc she can’t stand the awkward silence although if aang is there they’ll both be very distracting, will literally laugh on camera every time she hears a stupid comment, gives emotional speeches to help motivate her classmates which are well-intentioned but come off as a little preachy :/ people still try though bc they weirdly don’t want to disappoint her, refuses to let a man interrupt her so she will continue talking even if their voices are overlapping for a good 20 secs 
sokka: has an insane amount of reminders, alarms and organizational tools on his phone and computer so he doesn’t forget to go to class, he tries so hard to focus but ends up doing something that’s completely unrelated yet still educational, wears his same dumbass science pun t-shirts to class but he has his hair down more which makes the white girls in his class go crazy, starts all his sentences with ‘i think’ or ‘maybe we should’, tried to be clever once by setting a video on loop for his zoom background so the teacher didnt know he went to the bathroom but forgot to mute himself so the entire class heard him pee :(( his teachers enjoy him more in a zoom setting bc he's less of a distraction but they hate how he never stays on topics and asks questions they dont have the answer to, whenever katara sees him getting increasingly neurotic she’ll send him links to cool small businesses and they’ll ignore their classes n go online shopping together 
zuko: always looks tired and grumpy even when he’s well rested, his camera is at 256p even when he has the newest macbook (azula messed w his computer & he still hasn't realized), extremely paranoid around accidentally unmuting himself so he just never talks, cannot figure out zoom and never screen shares for projects bc it takes him 15 mins every. time. is weird in breakout rooms because he's bad at social situations but he's trying!!! he could try harder tho :/ is able to empathize well with his fellow classmates n tries to lift their spirits (it rarely works but the effort feels nice), the teacher once saw him scream and punch his desk during the desmos activity and sent iroh an email about local therapists who specialize in anger management, spends his breaks between classes crying 
toph: she will pick her nose, eat food, clip her toenails, do anything gross on camera to get back at her history teacher who told her she needs to be more ladylike, is actually cool in breakout rooms she seems like she would be super distracting but she would complain about the shitty teachers n provide insightful thoughts for the discussion/assignment at hand, does her zoom classes in her backyard so she could play with bugs, gives very helpful advice for maintaining ones sanity during online learning
suki: is always wrapped up in her blankets to the point where u can barely see her face, eats on camera & doesn't realize that no one wants to see that shit, she laughs at all the teachers' bad jokes bc she genuinely thinks they're funny, refuses to let sokka outperform in zoom learning so she does actually pay attention although it doesn't look like it, is really chill in breakout rooms n pretends she doesn't really care but will edit the work after class so it fits her expectations, she once farted in the middle of when she was talking and just pretended like she it didn't happen, actually is fine with online learning and likes the flexibility and doesn’t get why sokka is spiraling all the time :// 
azula: oh god, she wears entire outfits with khakis and polos and SHOES!!! for her zoom meetings!!! she. wears. shoes. her hair is always perfect, tries WAY too hard and everyone knows when she wants to speak in class bc she literally starts vibrating on camera, one time someone won a debate against her in class and she turned off her camera for a good 3 minutes, when she turned it back on her eyes were watery and her entire face was red, doesn't understand how people are underperforming over zoom, has the second highest gpa in the school (after sokka) and managed to convince herself he is actively trying to ruin her life but he's just........ sitting there. constantly messes with zuko's google calendar so he's late for class, can clearly see the art of war by sun tzu on her bookshelf in the background
mai: yawns on camera whenever azula talks just to piss her off, doesn't talk often because her teachers & peers underestimate her but she's smart and when she does talk it's always something rlly insightful, one time her and ty lee were paired with jet for a project where he spent the whole time 'explaining' the topics at hand while they did the entire project on another tab and pretended to pay attention to him, tom tom will sometimes join her during class bc he misses her n she acts like she hates it but she does love spending time with him, is actually secretly extremely anxious about maintaining her grades during online learning but only sokka and ty lee can tell, her and sokka gossip through heavily layered inside jokes that only the two of them understand
ty lee: built a completely new daily schedule and organizational system the minute she learned they were switching to zoom, is always ready for class 20 mins before it starts but joins the zoom 2 minutes after class started so no one thinks she’s an overachiever, a great student but she waits too long to speak in class so she barely joins in on the discussions, is seemingly the regular ty lee but every so often she’ll pretend to go to the bathroom & turn off her camera to recollect herself bc she’s always on edge :/, would have the best gpa in the school but doesn’t want to seem intimidating so she purposefully scores lower on certain assignments so she has a 3.75 gpa, 
jet: he tries to subtly vape during class by turning off camera his camera but its really obvious bc when he comes back he’s coughing and waving the smoke out the air, only participates in breakout rooms when the teacher comes in and immediately turns off his camera when they leave, staged a kidnapping during one of his lectures as an elaborate prank but no one cared noticed, someone else recorded the prank and posted it on tiktok where it blew up & all the comments were insulting him, he didn’t care though because ‘there’s no such thing as bad clout’
chan & ruon-jian: has not gone to a single one of their zoom classes sober (honestly barely attend), still tried throwing houseparties even when the cases were at their peak, tried to one-up jet's kidnapping prank by calling SWAT on themselves but ended up getting arrested because they forgot to hide their stash (they sell counterfeit juul pods), worst part was that their prank only got 250 views on yt :(
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tragicomedys · 4 years
Note
uhmmm gentan
WEOWOEOOOWOOIIEOIFPOPLP
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>:) . i love gentan a lot. now im not gonna be able to give a sexy ass nuanced essay like my fellow mutuals do about their pairings but listen . i just think theyre great. i think they complement each other i think they could potentially have been rlly fucking good i think they couldve really been essential figures to the other’s development. notice the word COULDVE because yeah i admit a lot of the pairings i like come from my own perception on how they couldve developed bc like admittedly genya had way more potential and tanjirou as great and fun as he is he literally just stays static thru out the whole manga. except for a couple of small moments. but like other than that hes mr perfect BUT ANYWAY
i think for genyas part its kinda obvious. tanjirou helped him Tremendously through his relationship with his brother & overall was pretty protective over genya n shit. i think tanjirou helps/would help genya gain more confidence overall, especially thinking back to his last moments where he thought of tanjirou and his words to gain, like, the confidence and strength to go through with the mission even tho he was doubting himself. in that way, tanjirou sorta completes genya, like he reminds genya to be kinder to himself and be more confident in himself and etc etc. pretty common tanjirou behavior.
for tanjirous part... their backstories are similar in how they both experienced the deaths of their entire family (in contrast to zenitsu and inosuke, and kinda kanao because her original family’s deaths arent expanded on), but the way each of them took it provided like a backdrop to their characterizations. i know tanjirous own experience with coping and grieving isnt expanded on too much, considering how its shown that he sorta “accepted” the death of his family from the beginning (thinking back to the scene where he held that guys hand & smiled, and even if that wasnt necessarily acceptance we dont REALLY see tanjirou process his past trauma in depth ig), but i think tanjirou in general is someone that would be closed off abt his own grief and pain cuz hes the “older brother” and would naturally hide away anything he thinks would worry and upset others. i mean we already see that in how he didnt tell that little nurse butterfly girl that he had a fever for his sun breathing (self-sacrifical too) and how he was basically kinda like. not expecting to be alive by the time nezuko would become human/theyd defeat muzan (essentially accepted dying when his face got FUCKED up until zenitsu said ur not dead yet buddy; overall he doesnt accept other ppls help easily as he noted how if he were the demon in their situation nobody would help him (i forgot what manga ch that was but he said smth like that) amongst other situations). theres also one of the first demons he fought where he was talking about how as the oldest brother he needs to endure more stuff and pain and whatever whatever u know. so what the fuck im getting at by the end of all of this is that i just think as genya could develop into being more confident n sortaaaa pushy (i feel like hes naturally pushy with basically anybody except his brother and tanjirou LMFAO) and could like, help tanjirou express his feelings in its entirety more freely yknow, like both the good and the bad. like i mentioned with why im not really into inotan / zentan (like that i feel like tanjirou would always feel the need to look over them n honestly can u blame him ? theyre Crazy) but i like gentan bc i feel like they could naturally become more equal in a sense when it comes to how they balance each other out. genya could've possibly been a character to help tanjirou through his own grief that he’s internalizing and couldve been someone tanjirou could relax around and not feel the need to look over... IFFFFF AND ONLY IF his character was expanded on/didnt die that quickly n early or whatever.
I think that kinda dynamic would also work out bc of how genya couldve possibly been feeling towards his brother growing up, just watching him from a distance and wanting to help him but not being able to do anything. and his guilt when he accused sanemi would just be insurmountable. so what im getting at is that i feel like genya wouldnt want that to happen, like, again, and thats why i think he’d actually take action when he grew to be more of a risk-taker and would try 2 actually make tanjirou open up yknow. bc again tanjirou upholding his “oldest bro” title wouldve taken a toll on him if u ask me. that whole vision of himself would logically lead to a lot of bottling up of emotions. i know genya tried making that right and tried helping his bro by like, becoming a demon slayer, but again i just can see genya and tanjirou having that sorta relationship.
ANYWAY. again i do acknowledge that like, for the most part ive probably filled up parts of their personalities bc i think the both of them had more potential/couldve been developed more like i just view it sorta as a flaw how static tanjirou is and how short genya’s time was. it’s definitely possible and likely that i interpreted some scenes in a very diff way compared to others, and i mightve interpreted their characterizations differently than watever other people. but like in my big dumbo brain theyre gay theyre fun they would love eahc other 2 death they would have a lotta fun together and BLAH BLAH ! but besides the “analysis” i jusyt gave on them i just thikn theyd be awesome. mr “i thought he’d talk to me since we were both in the nude” tanjirou kamado. the way genya and tanjirou have blushed @ each other many times WOUGJOUIHJ. the way they give each other strenght . the way genya protected him in battle and thought of him during his last moments . the way tanjirou is easily impressed (u remember when he was like WOAH SO COOL about mitsuri n stuff and genya was just like ... :| ) so i just think its funny if tanjirou thought genya was cool like . .it’s genya LFMREI9WODJFSLK. i know every other person tanjirous age is like in love with him but whatevrr tanjirou would crush on my homeboy genya 🙄 . iwas gonna say something else but i totally just forgot
in conclusion they should kiss just cuz i said so or what ever idk 
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millennialzadr · 5 years
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WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!
HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO
So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌
it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)
I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)
But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️
[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]
SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%
so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)
(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)
NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY
- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK
- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…
- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.
- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s  escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.
- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy  щ(ಠ益ಠщ)
- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.
so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!
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SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!
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grizztheexplorer · 4 years
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[i promise im not becoming a beastars blog im just currently binging it and need an outlet + Netflix has not given us shit about The Society updates and with COVID19 they prob won’t for a while]
ANYWAYS fake woke cancel culture is such a cancer lmao. Im trying to go thro the beastars tag to see opinions on characters and some people, who clearly have never watched/read it are.... hating it. Someone said “its a typical sexual thing from male writers” as if the creator/writer isn’t a whole ass woman ahdjdjdjd.
Like ngl shit does make me uncomfortable when it gets sexual but like that’s not the plot at all, and after reading the manga after the first arc shown in s1, it has even less sexual moments. Is an interesting show/manga. It has many interesting real life debates on ethics. In the manga i found it funny how they had a small arc about the dairy insdustry beinf unethical, interesting bc a lowkey vegan argument is not what i expected from the show. I know there’s a lot about sexism, racism, and even shows the struggles on interracial relationships and mix children vs how society sees/treats them. But i just didn’t expect them to talk about certain vegan arguments. But there’s also the debate about like ethical vs non ethical meat eating which, as a vegetarian, i find so interesting???? Ik the show hasn’t gone there yet, but there’s def points on how you COULD eat meat in an ethical way and how it’s necessary for some bodies without having to do it in a vicious way just to sell. I’m a vegetarian not bc i dont agree we shouldn’t eat meat but rather bc i think the industry (thanks to capitalism) abuses too much of the animals in order to sell more thus I don’t want to give my money to them. I have never seen this debate outside documentaries.
Anyways the show/manga is like.... actually very philosophical which i didnt expect at all?? Is a lot of reflection on society’s way to doing and hiding things plus the good old “nature vs nurture” debate when it comes to people’s actions. Thinking it was just some furry shit is what got me to ignore the show until recently. I do have to say tho, if people don’t like it I don’t understand why they don’t just... ignore it??? Like i def didn’t like the show and felt uncomfortable with it before actually understanding what it was about, and i just... minded my business??? Is weird people go on rants calling people who like the show “freaks” lmao. SPECIALLY when it’s obvious they’ve never actually watched the show or even asked what’s about and/or what got people interested on it. Are there furries watching it?? Yeh. Im not about to kink shame either. Shit makes me uncomfortable but also there’s a clear diff between furries and bestiality (im assuming this is what makes people uneasy bc is what i felt uncomfortable about when i first learned what furry meant) and going to actual furries to insult them when they are doing their weird, harmless, shit and minding their business is just uncalled for. And this is coming from someone who like.... doesn’t wanna have anything to do with furries (no offence).
What im saying is. Unless people are being harmed by something or harming others, let them enjoy shit and don’t make assumptions??? Feels like it should be basic human logic by 2020.
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tomiyeee · 4 years
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finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)
(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)
in no particular order:
i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics
said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster
^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier
that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever
the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????
ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most
boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"
im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea
typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)
hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes
i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?
sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.
after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.
lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.
i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(
oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.
that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.
the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)
also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.
tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.
basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.
i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?
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rqs902 · 4 years
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.
a lin ran feature :’) i respect hes self-aware about his need to be more than cute to succeed. lin ran has always given me a vibe that hes very serious and tough on himself. he looks soft but has high demands and seems very determined to get what he wants.
im not worried about li hao bc hes surrounded by a bunch of kids who can teach him how to dance LOL not just lin ran but like jin fan and tianci too
what is this pole and could they not move it LOL
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lol so jin fan and tianci did a flippy trick and we just gonna pretend like it didnt happen lol okay 
ugh so jin fan kinda got to do more dancing than other stages but i was still hoping itd be more!!! but man lin ran is really killing with his stage presence here
leave it to ycw to speak loudly and vocally about his friends being injured so people recognize their suffering
LOL lin ran’s sassy “im not stupid!!” but yea the third stage was really rough for him, so im glad he was able to recover 
LOL lin ran again casually threatening the production team to be like “please edit this stage well” “please don’t cut our segment short” LOL 
lol yea im not surprised at this point that li hao won even tho it shouldve been lin ran. youku is def making these rankings up. lol gjm did you even look at lin ran’s facial expressions???? lol making up excuses for youku wat
lin mo praising lin ran and giving him encouragement like a true bro bc he knows how hard lin ran worked for this stage. i wonder if he designed the stage rigging
AY I RESPECT OSCAR. hes a good kid and someone whos willing to speak his mind to address problems, thats awesome. they need someone to do that. he’s direct with the problems but also directly follows by complimenting them and saying how great they could be if they pulled through LOL hes still a kid so hes trying not to offend them but i respect his courage, warmth and dependability. 
LOL XUE EN DESTROYED FRANKLIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA and he goes all cutesy after like he has no idea the power he holds LOL but im glad they showed some footage of xue en also teaching the other kids dance. cto skills whooo 
ycw still bringing up shiwei? hes either very caught up in his feelings still (which is probably not a good thing at this point) or hes just a really dedicated friend... or youku is just purposefully using shiwei’s elimination for dramatic effect. 
im surprised they didnt highlight cxh more bc youku seems to like him, and conversely they gave xzx a ton of time for his stage and let xzx win. 
XUE EN IS SO HANDSOME 
okay i just needed to get that out of my system
but also im kinda glad syh is in this group bc hes the only one who i will not laugh at when singing this song. ycw and oscar talking about drinks and whiskey??? yall are babies?? also this song does NOT match this dance well at all. i see why they didnt like it when they previewed it LOL also i see now why i saw an edit on twitter of this dance over “retreat” from qcyn bc that song actually FIT the tie pulling move.. versus this im just like ??? seems so out of place?? 
also their voices all sound weird :\ maybe its just too high of a register for ycw and cxh? or maybe theyre just not very good at singing....? lol 
giving xue en the only multi colored tie? THEY KNEW. 
im just happy that the party group was able to make their stage so well that other kids were regretting not choosing them bc ycw was really struggling to get people to join him...
LOL CSP BEING SILLY TO ZHAN YU THIS IS THE FRIENDSHIP I NEED
LOL XZX AND LIN MO are adorable together 
im glad that they spent time to say zhaohao has improved, i feel like hes gotten zero recognition so far. i feel like ycw winning is the only win i am willing to believe so far. (couldve been xue en too tho) 
A FEATURE ON XIKAN’S FRIENDSHIP WITH LUO ZHENG omggggggggggggggg luo zheng the sweetest ge, leaving all the good things for xikan whatt ugh but luo zheng is like literally going actor route so sad that he still wants to be on stage but has no opportunities. im grateful theyre still so close that xikan starts crying just thinking about him 
xikan being involved in the stage design and costuming and all makes me think of lin ran but also makes me think of cai xukun. cxk always gets so involved in every little detail to seek perfection
interesting that they focused it all on zry and lxk........ but at least highlighted xikan’s fun side
lol they purposefully cut in fan yu screaming zry’s name and ycw yelling cyc.... 
but also tbh xikan’s voice was not very strong during his high note and i know hes giving 110% into his dancing so im guessing he doesnt have much air left at that point but i was kinda disappointed it couldve been better. BUT he still did a good job. i thought the part where they ripped off his jacket couldve been more impactful? but it felt like it was just randomly in the middle of the rap break and he doesnt sing again until much later so it was like why did you change clothes there? 
tbh this song isnt that exciting? so im surprised that they wanted it that badly? 
i saw spoilers that fan yu was gonna be there and its adorable and i love their friendship but lol zuo ye being like i shouldve asked all my gege’s to come.... lol aka they know its kinda unfair for fan yu to be winning votes for zry
im grateful all the trainees are supportive of xikan and they purposefully showed a bunch of popular kids cheering for xikan
gosh that injury on his nose, you know hes put too much energy and is too invested into his dance part when he rips his own face like that :\ 
i saw spoilers that renyu would win and someone did the math that it makes zero sense for their group’s score to be that low, but i didnt expect their score to be THAT low.... goodness wtf thats definitely rigged, i see why people were mad. 
renyu winning is either entirely rigged bc youku wants him to debut or people are really just voting for him bc fan yu was there and that’s not fair either. i love renyu (and his friendship with fan yu) but there’s no way renyu actually won that many votes on a stage where he didnt really show his vocals that much and he messed up his dancing and he was surrounded by kids who danced much better and wouldve made him look not great. this makes zero sense. and the fact that ycw is the only winner that made sense is probably bc youku was like well we cant make it too obvious that its all a joke. but really, its all a joke. 
yes i love that renyu worked hard and stayed up all night but can we talk about how xikan does that for every stage? and renyu’s just now started to do so. renyu just came into this competition less prepared, so his improvement is easier to see. 
i still think if youku wants to debut renyu, theyll kick out lin ran from top 7, but can we talk about how lin ran put in all the effort to design and perfect his stage? how he teaches others to dance and pushes his group mates to shine as a leader and how he has truly one of the most memorable and formidable stage presences on this whole show? people say the debuting group will need renyu’s voice but how can you really say that renyu fits and is prepared and deserves to debut more than lin ran? 
renyu is adorable and talented but let’s be real, as a vocalist, hes not like you zhangjing, hes not like zhao lei, hes not like zhao pinlin, hes not proven that he really fits to be a main vocal in a boy band. youku cannot force us into believing that he can fit that role without any evidence to prove his worth. its like theyre trying to jam someone into that role and its like renyu’s their closest bet, but even tho he still doesnt quite fit, theyre just gonna shove him in anyway. this is what happens when you only give attention to people who are dancers and dont give actual attention to people who are actually boy band main vocal material.... /COUGH ZHAN YU or even cui shaopeng?? 
how can you possibly believe that renyu got 173 but their average was 134? none of xikan’s groups numbers make sense: 
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how did shengen suddenly drop so much? youku has been touting him this whole time into the top 10. shouldnt more of xikan’s fans voted for xuyu? bc he literally begged during the last elim for xuyu to make it this far. xuyu wasnt even dead last in the elim ranking but here he gets last place by like 15 votes??? when everyone else’s vote difference is like half of that at max? 
you expect me to believe lin ran only got 127 after he literally descended from the ceiling as an angel? that doesnt attract attention? how are both zuo ye and hu wenxuan so low? wenxuan was literally center and had bright pink hair, and in a song style that suited him, you cant tell me he didnt shine on this stage. xikan tied with xzx???? beneath a kou cong and su xunlun tie??? no way 
theres one week left and youku’s getting desperate to make it look like whatever they’re going to make happen will be a natural result, that this competition is up in the air and no one is safe, but it just seems very questionable to me. 
sooo does this mean there arent gonna be elims before the finals or what, we just dont see them announce who gets to perform? im assuming not all 32 kids will take part? and theres not gonna be a mentor collab stage? it wouldve been cool to see han yu and cheng xiao with the kids. there were 3 stages between the first and second elimination but no third elim and no mentor stage? its a mad rush to the end, honestly. 
oh well, we still love these CHILDREN 
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ps: if youve been following my rants, i honestly feel like i have had a really positive impression of zheng renyu from the start and i really do like him. he makes really good songs and his voice is very nice and his friendships are pure and his attitude is commendable. 凄美地 and 當帷幕落下 and 後來的我們 are some of my favorite favorite songs to listen to from this entire show, like probably 3 of my top 5, and a good deal of that is because of renyu and his voice. but im just trying to be realistic and renyu is not in my ideal debuting boy band. 
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boganodawns · 4 years
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i was really hoping that one post would be enough to satisfy my need to write abt anakins experience in the order vs my own experience but its not apparently and i really feel the need to illustrate how fucking difficult it can be as a young adult to ask for help when you already stand out.
like. should you ask anyways? YES! did anakin? no! did i? NO! bc at that age if your abilities have been talked up constantly, the idea of proving people wrong about you is fucking terrifying. it doesnt matter how much you trust or respect someone’s opinion. if they offer help clearly and plainly it STILL feels like a terrifying concept. You can have people you know love and care for you come up to you directly and ask you outright “whats wrong” or “how can i help” and you will STILL lie through your teeth and say you’re fine, you can handle it, dont worry.
and to make matters worse, when you DO ask for help and no one seems to quite get what the problem is bc the way you see things and the way they see things are so different? it ends with feeling like its either not worth asking again bc the end result is just anger and confusion and feeling. inadequate and like if you keep pushing eventually something will break.
That being said, you should always accept the help thats offered. i didnt, ignored the obvious, lied and said i was fine over and over again until the stress got so bad i landed myself in a hospital. anakin didnt and left himself wide open to manipulation and despite numerous warnings and concerned questions, let those questions feed his insecurities and frankly horrifyingly unhealthly thought patterns.
I managed to grow up, I had a Rough Time but I recognized my issues and how my coping mechanisms were shaped by my surroundings (Public school was an absolute detriment to my common sense and work ethic and self worth) and I worked to change them bc i knew they werent sustainable and I fucked up in the past.
Anakin never got the chance to fuck up and learn from it bc his first brush with Fucking Up having direct and serious consequences, he still refused to acknowledge it as a fuck up bc he convinced himself he was in the right and it just got worse. he had taught himself coping mechanisms to deal with the descrepancies between what was expected of him by the order and what he could actually do, and he dug himself a hole so deep he refused to entertain the thought of getting out and instead convinced himself there was no hole.
TL;DR: Anakin had so many issues and I think he was definitely in a position where he could have fixed a lot of them himself, and should have, but I understand the fear that kept him from doing so, and I think the organization of the Jedi Order at the time, and their choices regarding anakin fed into his fear. They weren’t actively malicious and they tried to help but there was a gulf of misunderstanding between two sides with very different experiences. One side limited by fear and stress and the other limited by tradition and regulation and wartime politics.
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control [jeremy h. x squipped!reader] pt.3
did you know that tumblr no longer has those lil.. lines that i liked to separate my notes from my fic with? i didnt. until now. unbelievable.
SO NOW I HAVE TO SUPPLY MY OWN and hopefully this is fine
anyway. ive been... dead for a while. summer destroyed all motivation to do Anything, but ive been forcing myself to write on and off and this part feels... shorter than it should be, but
anyway! i am alive! i have plans! i have things to write! some of them are never going to be on this blog bc theyre original works, but im always open to talk abt them skdfhdsfh
warnings: uhhhhhhh vague manipulation, and i think thats it? just general. squip. yea.
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         The last time you had seen Michael Mell as a friend had been the beginning of sophomore year. He and Jeremy sat on either side of you in his basement, clutching controllers and halfheartedly playing video games. Soda went untouched and unopened, snacks left alone, and too many times had Jeremy lost on games he knew like the back of his hand. The air had been stiff and uncomfortable, and the feeling had seeped into your nerves and bones to make your stomach turn at the thought of staying longer. Jeremy wasn’t quite there, and Michael was trying too hard to be extra present to make up for it. He became doting on the two of you - quick to refill a snack bowl that had barely been touched with Jeremy following him out of the basement. That was when you found your phone and called your parents, asking if they could come pick you up - bullshitting some excuse about how you felt sick. When Michael came down, he saw you packing up your things with a half-assed apology and a shitty acting job before you tore up the stairs and nearly rammed into Jeremy in the process. Your chest had tightened as you pushed past him with a quick apology and went to wait on the front steps outside for your mom to come get you.
          That had been the beginning of the end. After that day, Jeremy had slowly stopped talking to you almost completely. Michael had tried to patch things up, to keep things going, and then he just stopped abruptly. To make things worse, you had broken down at school a few weeks after everything went silent, because you’d been alone. You wiped at your face roughly with the sleeve of your hoodie, and left the bathroom. Barely seconds after you had turned the corner to head to class, you ran straight into him - headphones on and head down - only for his gaze to find yours the moment you stumbled back. He opened his mouth to speak, and you stumbled through a rough, shitty apology before you pushed past him and onward to your class. And then you avoided him purposefully, not wanting to address that little moment of weakness you had.
          And now you were sitting in front of him, eyes red and tears streaming down your cheeks as you struggled to find your voice. Your back pressed into cold metal, the lockers clanging behind you as you pulled away and tried to say something, anything to explain yourself. But Michael just stared at you, uncertain about what to say to you. Your legs were like stone, almost as if something was keeping you from darting away, from finding a safer place to land and cry and get over the tears forced from your body.
          “[y/n]?” Michael finally said, still staring at you. The lights overhead gleamed off his glasses and headphones as he pulled them down and around his neck, music loud enough for you to hear. He gave you a quick once-over, his attention now fully on you. “You okay?”
          You went to nod only for another sob to overtake you instead. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” you admitted after a moment, voice shaking and broken. And it was sort-of true.
          “Are you sure?” He said, “hey, I, uh, I know I sorta stopped talking to you and that was kinda shitty but... I’m still here if you need someone to talk to, alright?” After a moment, he tacked on another thought, “do you need a ride home?”
         Immediately, you didn’t want to say yes. It didn’t feel right to. But you’re already nodding before you can debate anything further. “Yeah,” you said slowly at first, reaching up and wiping at your eyes. Realization hit you quick. Your bag. “Shit.”
         “What’s wrong?”
         “I, uh, kinda left my bag in the auditorium.” You hesitated to step away - you didn’t really want to go back and make an excuse to leave, to let anyone see you with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Michael... can you-”
         “On it,” he gave you a small, two-finger salute, “I’ll be back in a sec!”
         As Michael took off down the hallway, you felt a pit develop in your stomach while he disappeared around the corner. Nothing felt right. You looked around for a moment, acutely aware of how silent everything had gone. When your SQUIP materialized in front of you, you avoided its gaze as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself for a moment. The world felt a little colder, a little dimmer, and everything was off. The sound of Michael’s approaching footsteps minutes later played the steady beat for your incoming guilt-induced breakdown, and yet the boy smiled at you - as if nothing was wrong. Maybe that was because it looked like nothing was wrong. The strap of your bag was tossed over his shoulder, bouncing against his own backpack, and yet he looked at you like you were still friends.
        “Thanks,” you finally said as you reached for your bag.
        Michael stepped back, “I’ve got it,” he said with a smile, “don’t worry.”
       You let your arm fall back to your side, only to then shove your hands into your pockets. “Thanks,” you said, avoiding eye contact for a moment.
       The walk to Michael’s car was mostly quiet, with concerned glances thrown your way every now and then - that, when you caught then, were met with insecure smiles at the situation he’d been pulled into. Which.... frankly, threw you off a bit. Michael had always been the one who was better with all this feelings shit - you and Jeremy had the unhealthy habit of bottling everything up. And now Michael walked in step with you, still warm as ever - and still wearing that damn red hoodie you swore he showered in, but it still made you smile because of course Michael still took good care of it. When you hesitated for half a step upon seeing his P.T. Cruiser, he looked back at you before you shot him an uneasy smile and continued towards the passenger side. One of his moms must have given it to him - whether for his birthday or as a gift for passing his driver’s test, you weren’t sure. But the seats were still well-worn, a Pac-Man sticker stuck on the head-rest of the driver’s seat that Michael had stuck there when bored out of his mind. It was worn with age, like you’d expect it to be, but you suppressed a small smile at the fact it was still there.
      If the walk to Michael’s car had been quiet (with the occasional snippit of Michael saying something about how he still feels bad about what happened between the three of you, or about how he’s kinda sorry about the walk to the back of the parking lot) then the ride to your house was dead silent. Music flooded through the car speakers, Michael’s phone resting in your lap due to him pushing it in your direction and telling you to play whatever you want, and his attention was fully on the road - the sound of his phone’s GPS spitting out directions every so often to guide him. You watched out the window, a small sense of dread resting in your stomach the entire way, and for some reason... you felt sick.
      When the car started to roll to a stop, Michael reached up and turned the music down. “Hey, uh, you still have my number, right?”
      You blinked at him for a moment, before pulling out your phone. “I, uh, think so?” You opened your contacts, flipping through them, “I don’t think I deleted it or anything-”
      “Good,” he smiled at you, “if you ever wanna hang out, I’m, uh, pretty free since Jeremy’s busy with this whole.. play... thing.” He paused for a moment, only to follow it up quickly with “I mean if you aren’t doing anything, since - I dunno, you aren’t apart of the cast so-”
      “Okay,” you cut him off, “yeah, sure - I’m only painting the set for it, so... I’ll probably try to do that during lunch.”
      “I, uh,” he began, nodding towards your jacket, “I like your pin. Have you ever played the old shit?” When you shook your head, he was filled with excitement. “Dude. You have to come over then. I’ve got the classic Zelda stuff if you wanna play.”
      Running a hand through your hair, you just sort-of nodded in response as you opened the car door, swinging your bag over your shoulder. “Thanks for the ride, Michael.”
      You closed the car door, taking a few steps back as he pulled off and drove away, before you turned and head up to your house - pausing to notice your parent’s cars were missing. Right. Letting your bag fall down to your elbow, you began to fish through it to find your keys tucked away in the bottom of your bag, and you nearly sent the contents of your bag spilling when you went to pull it back to your shoulder. But with lightning reflexes that weren’t your own, you managed to snap into action and pull it shut before anything could spill - and when you looked up, your SQUIP was standing before you.
      Huh. “... Thank you?” You zipped your bag back up, letting yourself into your house.
      “You should stick to hanging out with Michael,” your SQUIP said, watching you head into your bedroom
      Dropping your backpack onto your bed, you shrugged at the idea as you began to search for your homework. “I mean, sure, he’s still a cool guy-”
      “Michael is close to Jeremy,” it said, as if the fact wasn’t obvious, “therefore, if you get closer to Michael, you’ll get closer to Jeremy.”
      You stopped. “Isn’t that using Michael?”
      “You were friends with him before. It’s rekindling your friendship that just so happens to mean you’ll rekindle something with Jeremy.” It said, “you aren’t manipulating him.”
      You shook your head, setting one binder down and searching for another. “I don’t really like this,” you said, “I don’t want do hurt Michael or anything-”
      “Why would you be hurting him by being friends with him?”
      Thinking it over, you finally nod a little. “... I guess you’re right,” you looked down at the textbook in your hands. “It just feels wrong-”
      “Don’t feel, [y/n],” it stepped beside you, turning your head to meet it’s steely gaze. “Just listen. I’m here to help you.”
      Reluctantly, you nod. “... Right.”
      So you did. The next day, Rich fell into step beside you - inviting you to stop acting like a loner and to sit with him and Jake and the rest of his friends. You debated taking him up on the offer for a moment, only to spot Michael sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria. You declined immediately, not looking back as you crossed the room to join Michael. That became your routine - sliding into a seat near Michael, talking about video games and whatnot, and occasionally letting the topic slip to Jeremy as Michael had the habit of occasionally venting about the boy.
       “I mean,” he started one day, pointing a fork in your direction, “you remember how he is. He’s just... so in love with her,” he shook his head, “and, I mean, yeah, it’s Christine, but he could, y’know... not abandon me every day.”
      You nodded, “I’m sure he’s just blinded by his crush, Michael.”
      He nodded, stabbing into his burrito bowl, “I know...” He trailed off, looking away for a moment, “I just... he’s excited about this and - and that’s great! He’s actually sort-of talking to Christine!” He smiled back at you, “every time he talks about her, he gets that stupid look on his face. He practically has heart eyes, [y/n].” He paused for half a beat, “but... y’know, I can’t blame him. He keeps talking about how she’s been helping him with his lines, and that she’s so passionate about theatre...”
      You couldn’t help but smile a little at that. From your limited interactions with Christine, she seemed to be a complete sweetheart. No wonder Jeremy liked her.
      “In time, he’ll like you more.” It nudged it’s way in between your thoughts, “as long as you do what I tell you to. I’ve got a plan-”
      Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you busied yourself with your lunch. “Sure, buddy.”
      The stern silence that responded to your tone spoke volumes. But like a knife through butter, Michael’s voice washed away the slight tension you’d begun to feel: “hey, do you still draw?”
      You perked up at the question, turning your full attention back to Michael, answering with a far-too chipper “yes!” You immediately forced yourself to calm down, “yeah, I, uh, I still do. My art’s changed a lot, though,” you kind-of smiled, “I have a, uh, pretty decent following online now. I’m just glad I get to do what I love.”
      Snagging his phone from his pocket, Michael went silent for a moment as he opened up his tumblr app. “There’s this artist that Jeremy and I discovered - they seem really fucking cool, dude, and they seem like someone you’d like-”
      And then you were met with your own artwork, tagged with your online alias, and you had to resist the urge to immediately spill that he’d found you online after you remade your account. You could feel your SQUIP’s fingers gripping your shoulder, and you bit your tongue as you nodded, giving some half-hearted answer about how they seem cool, sure, before wondering why it had stopped you from saying anything.
      You didn’t address it until later. Halfway through your homework, you looked up and pushed yourself away from your desk. “Hey.” You spoke aloud. 
      Within seconds, your SQUIP proceeded to materialize in front of you. “You’re speaking aloud-”
      “I know,” you said with a hand wave, “my parents are still out. What was up with that earlier?”
      “You shouldn’t go around saying things-”
      “But it’s Michael,” you refuted, “I trust him. Besides - wouldn’t telling him that get me closer to Jeremy?”
      It’s cold gaze made you shrink under pressure. “I have a plan. [y/n]. If you want to get Jeremy, you have to obey.”
      “What about what I want?” You forced yourself to stand your ground, staring at the figure before you, “what if I want to do things differently?”
      “You bought me for a reason.” It crossed its arms, watching you, “this is what you want, though. That’s why I’m here: to help you get what you want. And what you want is Jeremy. I’m going to help you get Jeremy, but I can’t do that if you don’t trust me, [y/n].”
      Pressing your lips together, you mustered up a weak nod. Right. “Sorry,” you finally said, “I just - I’m scared it’s not going to work.”
       “It will.” 
        When Michael invited you over the next day, you were more than happy to take him up on the offer. He began to reason it as well, Jeremy’s at play practice, before he ended up dropping the facade and admitting he still kind-of missed you and that it’d been a while since he’d kicked your ass at video games (and, fuck, the glimmer in his eyes when he said that was enough to make you agree, and you realized in that moment just how much you actually missed Michael). So he drove you to his house, letting you take complete control of the music, and then he left you in the basement to find any games you’d be interested in while he grabbed some snacks from the kitchen.
       While the two of you played, you talked idly when the situation would allow it. About anything. About everything. About trips Michael had taken with his moms, about his and Jeremy’s brand new Halloween tradition of watching horror movies - usually the shittier ones - and gorging on candy, about how your parents always seemed so busy (and almost immediately Michael offered up his house for whenever you didn’t want to be alone, and you melted a little at the offer). The entire time, the room felt too quiet, even among the conversation and the music of each game. At first, you thought it was because Jeremy was missing. Things didn’t feel right without him. But it hit you, right as you were laughing at something Michael said.
       “Hey!” Michael brightened up at his idea, “you should join us.” When you looked over, slightly confused, he continued, “the, uh, Halloween thing? You should join our marathon.” 
       You faltered for a moment, looking down at your controller. Your voice isn’t your own as you speak, saying some sort of confirmation that felt too distant for it to be you. The guilt built within you, as you pushed yourself to hide the feeling while turning your attention back to the game, back to beating Michael this round. But the thought lingered.
       You were using Michael Mell.
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