#does anyone else have conversations with other people's fictional characters in their heads?

[jsmtn]

Help I need to go to sleep but I am too hyped up from thinking about Ashton Greymoore talking about gods.

#ashton greymoore #my blorbo #does anyone else have conversations with other people's fictional characters in their heads? #because this one has been going on for a while #and I really need to go to bed #critical role #cr3e65 #cr3

[nabis-dreamscape-world]

Pictures

Hongjoong x Reader (afab) x Seonghwa

warnings: minors DNI, slight exhibitionism (acts committed outside), polyamorous, Hong calls himself daddy once, pet names (love, doll, baby), one harsh name call (whore), fingering, very slight edging/orgasm denial, light Dom/sub dynamics, slight spit play, slight cum-eating, praise kink, conversations of tongue/finger riding. (1st person pov) I think that's all...

Word count: 2k

No relation to actually members, simply works of fiction

"Hong, that's enough," I giggled, turning my face from the camera in his hand. Smiling widely behind the lens, the sound of clicking several more times happens. He had to have taken 200 pictures by now. I was getting slightly restless.

"Sit still for Daddy, doll. We need these pictures. Hwa, hold her still." He says to the boy pressed into my back. Not moving quick enough, Seonghwa's arms wrap around me, preventing any other movements away from the onslaught of pictures we needed.

"Be still, or you'll be over my knee." He spoke softly, pressing a smooth kiss to my ear. My face flushed, and I blinked up shyly to Hongjoong, who was sitting closer, the camera hanging from his neck. 

"Is our baby shy now?" He asked sweetly, but the look in his eyes darkened. No matter how many dates we went on and no matter where we were, they always made my stomach clench in desire. Shaking my head, I chose not to play into this little taunting game. It often ended with me having to fuck myself on their fingers, or tongues. Hong liked my shyness but Hwa would rather watch me struggle to chase my own orgasm. He liked watching me go from being self-conscious to being greedy and taking what I want. Said it was character building.

"Take all the pictures you want." I said, smiling softly. Heat bubbling under my skin from being flustered. Today, they decided on taking me out for a picnic. Though the weather wasn’t exactly sunshine and warmth. The sky was overcast, and there was a slight chill in the air. It was not really a day to bring too many people out, but that made it just fine for us. For the majority of the date, Hongjoong fed me different sliced fruits, meats, and cheeses, quietly cooing over me. He’s always made it a habit of taking care of me.

Seonghwa, on the other hand, had me try a couple of different mocktails he made in his boredom. We all talked about whatever came to mind; laughed, made jokes, and shared glances. Seonghwa took the camera out of Hongjoong’s camera bag to snap pictures of me and Hong, adoring the sight. Noticing the camera after a minute, Hongjoong smiled, reaching for it, stating that he didn't have enough pictures of Hwa and I. That's how I ended up laying in Hwa’s chest now. Not that I minded. He was warm.

“Doll, would you let me take some pictures for our eyes only?.” He asked, peering over the camera at me and Seonghwa. I frowned slightly, slow to catch on to his question. On the contrary, Seonghwa’s hands were already making their way up my thighs, pulling the long skirt I had on, with them. 

“Wait,” I panicked, looking around to see if there were any peering eyes; my heart drummed in my chest. “I know you don’t seriously mean you guys are going to do that here?” I was no stranger to the erotic pictures Joongie liked to take, but in the public like this was new.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” Seonghwa asked, squeezing the flesh of my thighs. His voice was deep and laced with calmness. I knew that they wouldn’t press the matter if I was uncomfortable. I shook my head, wanting to try this with them.

“We have never done this type of thing. It is so easy to get caught here.” I said just thinking of the embarrassment that would consume me if someone saw. Hongjoong reassuring smile put me at ease just a bit.

“We won’t let anyone else see what’s only meant for our eyes.” Seonghwa spoke hotly, pressing a warm kiss to my neck. Biting back the moan, he elicited out of me, I couldn’t help but dart my eyes around. The park was quite empty, and we were seated far enough from the main walkway. The thrill of what they offered and the nervousness of getting caught played in my head.

Cutting my attention from our surroundings, Hwa’s hand took its time traveling up my skirt. Despite the brisk air, I could feel the heat rising on my skin as he painstakingly journeyed the length of my thigh. My hands gripped the tops of his thighs as my eyes watched his arm slowly disappear under the fabric. Pulling my legs apart, Hongjoong kneeled between them. 

My eyes met his eyes as Hwa’s fingers reached the fabric of my damping underwear. My breath hitched as his fingers traced my outline, slowly pressing into the soft flesh of my lower lips. My hips rocked, trying to press against his hand, wanting more friction. At this, Hwa’s laughter vibrated my back. 

“Needy, are we?” He said tauntingly. Finally, his finger traced up to my aching bud and rubbed soft circles around it, causing it to throb. My head rolled back onto his shoulder, and a soft sigh left my lips. Hong raised the camera, this time to capture the look of lust that painted the canvas of my face. Seonghwa’s lips kiss the shell of my ear, a wet sound making my hips jerk. His breath picked up a bit, aroused at how pliant I was in his hands. He was pressed stiffly into my back, driving me crazy.

“She is soaked under here.” He muttered huskily. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke to Hongjoong. His fingers went back to tracing the outline of my cunt, pressing against the fabric. My eyes eagerly watched Hongjoong’s face, as a red tint washed over the surface. 

“Is she?” he responded back, leaning in, creating a small bubble of intimacy. Seonghwa took his own fingers, pushing my underwear out the way and plunged deep, hardly met with any resistance at all. A moan bubbled up from my throat as he massaged my inner walls, poking around for the spot that drove me insane. The soft stretching and scissoring had me squirming, working up a sweat across my forehead. The camera hanging around Joongie’s neck was left neglected as he gripped my legs, resting them slightly on top of Hwa’s. At the new angle, Seonghwa’s hand moved faster, reaching new spots, creating a rhythm that left the soft squelching under all the noises that surrounded us. 

“Hwa, please” I begged, nails biting into the fabric of his pants. A chuckle fell from his lips as he grinded the palm of his hand against my clit. “O-Oh fuckk” I whined bucking against the sweet friction. My mind was hazy, no longer concerned if anyone saw us. The soft shutter of the camera brought me back to reality a bit. Hong’s face watching me intently behind the lens, that reflected the scene of me losing myself on Seonghwa’s shoulder. Finally, after teasing me as much as he liked, Seonghwa curled his fingers, pressing them into the spongy part of my desire. A flame kissed my skin as my pleasure sky-rocketed. The winding of my hips, evident, even under the fabric of my skirt.

“Just like that doll,” Hongjoong mumbled as the shutter of the camera clicked several more times. All the while Seonghwa’s free hand traveled underneath my sweater, palming at my breast. A soft pout graced my lips as I tried to hold back a whine. The heat bubbling against my cheeks was in sharp contrast to the cool breeze. My hips rocked against Seonghwa’s ministrations, chasing the euphoric high cresting in my lower stomach. 

“Shit, Song.” I groaned, bucking my hips. Panting, I pressed my hands into his thighs, hoping to ground myself “Oh fuck.”

“It seems you forgot all about the peering eyes, love” Seonghwa taunted, pumping his fingers relentlessly. My heart pounded, but my walls clenched tightly, thinking of someone seeing the erotic state I was in. Would they be able to see my face? Would they flush when they realized what was happening?

“My, my what a little whore. She likes the thought of being seen.” Hwa says to Hongjoong and a breathless moan leaves my lips. My eyes crack open and Hongjoong’s hooded eyes, pupils blown, and looking intently at my reactions. The camera raises slowly to capture another look that must have crossed my face. Suddenly, I was hyper aware of the soft conversation that seemed to be coming closer. A woman’s soft laugh and a man’s voice. Regardless of their distance, Song’s hand never stopped moving. My body drew tight close to climaxing and the cries of pleasure burned in my chest. I couldn’t be heard now. The wet sounds of his fingers moving in my seem to grow louder and a soft moan fell from Hongjoong’s lips.

“W-wait-” I hiccuped out as the conversation seemed to get closer. My whimpers were soft, but I was nervous they weren’t soft enough. Hwa’s hand thrusted harder against the soft spot inside of me, and I could feel a sweat breakout across my forehead. Hongjoong’s hands rested gently on my thighs, squeezing tightly as my hips rolled again. 

“Don’t worry about them, doll. I wanna see you cum. Can you do that for us?” Hongjoong asked, his voice edging me on. The tight ball, twisting in my stomach, raised every hair on my body. My pants grew more desperate and my eyes cracked open. The grey clouds hung overhead and just along the edges of my field of vision, Seonghwa caught my gaze. A smirk settling along his lips as he leaned down to press a warm kiss to my cheek

“Look at you pretty baby…answer Joong.” He demanded, his fingers slowing, and a whine broke from my lips. The crest of my high fading away, walls pulsing from being edged. Blinking the haze back for a moment, I lifted my head to look at Hongjoong. He hadn’t moved any closer, but the pressure from his gaze made me clench around Seonghwa’s fingers. Juices leaking, sticking to my thighs and ruining my underwear. A soft groan coming from Hwa’s lips.

“I can, I-I will.” I whimpered as Hwa’s fingers increased their speed again, the squelching louder than it was before. A low moan ripped from my chest as my legs began to tremble. Seonghwa’s hand that was previously palming my breast traveled down to press against my lower stomach, and my head jerked back. Eyes watering, I couldn’t control the pants and moans that spilled from my lips at this point. My cheeks burned as I felt my high coming quickly. I couldn’t hold it back even if I wanted to. My chest jumped as my breath hitched, and Hongjoong slid his fingers in my mouth to muffle the cries of my ecstasy. My body arched against Seonghwa as pleasure flooded every inch of my being. 

“Mmmh, what a good girl.” Hwa praised lowly, causing several tremors to rack my body. Hongjoong hummed in agreement as his fingers pressed down on my tongue. Moaning heavily against them, I sunk against Seonghwa’s chest. My muscles relaxed, and I blinked slowly, trying to get myself to come back to earth. Pulling his hand free, Hwa brought his fingers up to his lips. Placing them in his mouth, he sucked earnestly, trying to taste as much of me as he could. My walls fluttered gently at the sound and the loss of sensation.

“Aw, that’s not fair..” Hongjoong pouted, watching Hwa enjoy the taste. His eyes then snapped to me. “Hey doll, you did so well. Such a good girl deserves a reward, yeah?” He asked, straightening my skirt and placing the fingers that were in my mouth, in his own. My eyes took in the appearance of Hongjoong, and the tent in his pants caught my attention. 

“We’ll have to finish this back home. I can’t sit out here anymore.” Seonghwa said, pulling items from the blanket and shoving them back into the picnic basket. Hongjoong leaned close and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. My mind slowly started to come back to me, and I quickly whipped my head around, only to see no one was around. 

“Trust me doll, we won’t let anyone else see what’s only meant for our eyes.”

#ateez #ateez drabbles #hongjoong smut #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #seonghwa smut #seonghwa fic #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x y/n #hongjoong fic #kpop smut #ateez scenarios #hard drabbles #nabisdreamscape fic #srb #make it cute bc why not

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Since i know you LOVE the man...

What creepypastas (or internet horror) interests Medic? Give us all the details about how he interacts with that media hehe

Medic and Creepypastas!

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What a way to break up the absolute trauma this man has been going through on my blog.

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Spoilers for these Creepypastas, probably. The Russain Sleep Experiment, Eyeless Jack, Candle Cove, and SmileDog.exe

ALSO TWS: MENTIONS OF BLOOD, GORE, VIOLENCE, AND DEATH

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As for interacting with creepypastas, he's so medical with it. He's analyzing it from every angle. He can't actually understand the horror because most of the things that would scare us is just fascinating to Medic. Also, I think he once tried to enter the fandom and was horrified lmao.

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His first introduction to creepypasta was the Russian Sleep Experiment. (Is this anyone else's gateway drug? It was mine, lmao) He was probably looking up youtube videos of the most disturbing experiments for fun, or to see if he could attempt any of them, and then he saw that one fucking picture. Instant click. Even though he realized instantly that it was a work of fiction, he continued to watch the video, finding himself insanely interested in the story. Debating the logistics in his head and noting down the most interesting parts. Figures he could make a type of gas with chemicals designed to keep people awake, even make it better so no one goes batshit insane. Ultimately, he decided against it, as he couldn't risk the team ripping open their body's or their skin falling off in sheets. It'd be more effort than it's worth. Imagine the mess he'd have to clean up! He's only one man after all.

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Eyeless Jack confused him. Sure, it's a fictional story, but how could a person, fictional or otherwise, bot wake up during such an invasive procedure. Let alone not bleed out due to a general lack of surgery skills. Does understand the want to eat human organs. He's just a little curious, you know? So he can't blame a guy for eating peoples kidneys. Even though he figures that's not the best organ to eat due to its functions, buts that's neither here nor there. May or may not have asked the mercs to volunteer for a little test of sorts while they were sleeping. No one accepted his offer. But a few might be convinced by some sly offers of being pocketed for the next few fights, judging my the screaming coming from one of the mercs room.

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Candle Cove is an interesting thought experiment to him. He wonders through the entire story if it was simply a case of a shared memory, people thinking they remember something, or if the characters were just lying. He wanted to test this, figuring that a small bit of psychological trickery was okay. He wanted to see if people would latch onto the idea of Candle Cove being real. Subtly brings it up, not being too shocked when Scout is the first one to question if he ever saw the show, claiming it seemed familiar. Eventually, the others followed. Medic sat in the corner, watching them taking notes as they debated the finer details. Eventually, the other mercs noticed he wasn't adding to the conversation despite being the one to bring it up.

"Oh, ja, I lied it's not real. I just wanted to test a theory. Danke, for proving my theory, goodbye now." And he just leaves. The other mercs have a moment of being baffled and concerned at the fact that they had just made fake memories. Memories they actually believed. They hope Medic doesn't try this again.

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SmileDog.exe would honestly be Medic's pet if he was a real. But alas, he can only go off the story. He wonders if the image could really affect people in the way claimed. That image could strike someone so deeply that they find themselves seeing it all the time. He's a little ashamed to admit he stared at the photo for a good hour to see if it would appear in his dreams. He was disappointed to find it didn't. He finds it laughable that people wouldn't just share the picture of Smile Dog to save themselves from death. It seems like a simple solution. Even if it is prank mail, the second he starts seeing it everywhere, he'd forward the message. (He wouldn't, I think he'd actually rather die than ruin his reputation by sending chain emails, lmao)

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Sorry if this is more along the lines of "He wouldn't fucking do that!" Concidering Medic isn't doing a whole lot of testing on his teammates, and I know a lot of people think he would have just done them, but I think he values the consent and sometimes the mental and physical wellness of his teammates. Sure he'll put them in some pain for a surgury of two, but he'd never directly ignore them saying no to one of his experiments. At least I think so.

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Uh, I hope you like this! I actually haven't thought about creepypastas in a while 😭 I kinda miss that time in my life, but at the same time, it was so bad, lmao. Sorry it's not super long, and might not have been exactly what you were asking for, but I was super excited to write this and I'm super glad it's done!

Working through asks! Uh, the Mercs losing a close friend on the battlefield is next, then some other asks. I'm sorry for the long pauses in between!

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #team fortress headcanons #tf2 hcs #tf2 medic

[buckttommy]

this idea i've seen floated around by a couple people that everyone else is being relentlessly cheerful and never uttered a word of criticism of the show and thinks this season is the best thing ever, just feels like a total fiction they've made up to try and justify being the most negative ninnies in existence.

just own your own negativity people but leave the rest of us out of it.

I've seen that idea too, and it reeks of projection to me. It's like well I hate everything that's going on in the show these days, so obviously everyone else does too.

Um. No.

Season 6 is vastly different than any other 9-1-1 season thus far. It's okay for us all to admit that !! Pretending it's not different is not going to do anyone any good! This season has Tim's hands off completely and one thing about Tim is that, for all his wild inventiveness when it comes to storytelling, he's still a creature of comfort. He knows what he likes in a story, he knows which themes he wants to adopt and return to, and (as it relates to the 9-1-1 shows at least), he's very comfortable playing in certain sandboxes. Kristen is not like that. Kristen is a risk-taker. Do all of her risks work out well? Absolutely not. But are they all terrible? Absolutely not.

I've not been shy about my critiques of this season. Season 6 has confused me from the very first episode onward. The direction of the plotlines wasn't always entirely clear to me, and to be frankly honest, I have no idea how to predict what is coming next for any of the characters. But I'm along for the ride anyway, because I fell in love with this show because of the characters, because of their dynamics with each other. And this year, we've seen so many fascinating, long-desired dynamics that leave me simultaneously longing for more (Eddie/Maddie! More Eddie/Bobby/Athena!) and wanting the old-and-gold dynamics back (*stares longingly out the window for Buck/Eddie to conversate one-on-one about anything).

I won't lie and say that there aren't some disgruntled campers around this fandom because I'm sure there are. Even of the ones who have not publicly - publicly being the key word here! - criticized the show, I know there have been some decisions made that have had people frustrated, annoyed, or just scratching their heads. But the idea that people are "lying" about enjoying the season or pretending to for the sake of... something absolutely no one seems to know or articulate... is just absurd.

Conversely, if it is true that people don't feel "safe" vocalizing their opinion, that lends itself to two even bigger problems: the first being that someone, somewhere, cares more about acceptance than they do about silencing themselves (unhealthy), and the second being that apparently, some of you think there are "leaders" in this fandom who get to dictate what people think and what they like.

Again...

Um.

No.

Here is a very necessary newsflash that I think people need to hear: this is a fandom. It's not a cult. It's not a religion. We don't get excommunicated for having differences of opinion here. People might unfollow you. Mutuals might unfollow you. That's par for the course when you start criticizing their favorite show. Unfollowing is not a punishment, nor is it persecution. You might have to find a new tribe. This is good. Find them! Converse with like-minded people just like everyone else in this fandom tries to. And yeah, maybe you'll get anon hate. That is what the block button is for. Block them and be on your way and don't give them another thought. But absolutely no one is this fandom should have to silence themselves for the sake of... whatever... (still waiting on an answer for why people think they need to lie about liking the season lol).

I hate to be all "touch grass" about this because the problems I highlighted are genuine problems, but it really, genuinely, truly, emphatically... is not that serious. It's just fandom, baby. Breathe.

#jack answers mail

[chernayavidua]

𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓, 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! feel free to add any of your answers! the purpose is to tell your partners about the way you write! for multiple choice ones, 𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐃 all that apply and, if you want, 𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒛𝒆 if it' a conditional answer!

~ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 ~

NAME : soph

ARE YOU OVER 18? : yes / no .

IS YOUR MUSE? : yes / no .

ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG? : no (anyone) / semi (most people) / yes / highly / mutuals only

IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON? : not at all / a little / some / mostly / strictly / ( oc ) I write my own canon.

WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE? : one liners / single-para / multi-para / novella ( in my head i like to pretend i write novella. sshhh, don't wake me up. )

DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS? : no / gifs / icons ( i'm willing to go iconless too ! really wish my brain would let me use gifs without needing my psd on them ) / gif icons

DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS? : no / yes ( does disco count? )

WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE? : unplotted / open ended plots / semi-plotted / fully-plotted epics

HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS? : very slow ( more than a month, probably verging on 3+ months. yes i am extra slow ) / slow (3-4 weeks) / average (1-2 weeks) / fast (less than one week) / very fast (less than three days)

WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add ) : fluff / angst / smut / action / tragedy / domestic / family / conversational / hurt-comfort.

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add) : high fantasy / supernatural / science fiction / historical / horror / comedy / romantic / drama / action / adventure / espionage / everything

ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? (not triggers) : yes / no / none have come up yet

DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? : yes / no ( but that doesn't mean i don't have a few thing i'd like tagged just bc. pplref my rules for this )

HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED? : word / or word cw

~ 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 ~

WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual

WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO? : romantic / platonic / familial / physical / sexual / all types but it also depends on the partner & muse.

DO YOU HAVE OTPS? : no / chemistry only / yes

DO YOU HAVE NOTPS? no / yes / I don't know / yes and no ( yes bc fuck the mc.u but no bc im down to ship with most mar.vel characters and also ocs. i only ship natasha with muses/fcs over 30 )

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT? : no / yes / selectively ( im actually Very comfortable writing smut. i enjoy writing it but im selective on here bc ppl are judgy & some only follow for smut so. )

HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY? : autoship / during plotting / after a couple ic interactions / several ic interactions / slow burn / depends on writing chemistry / after plotting

ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS? : no / selectively / yes / never tried it

ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.) : no / selectively / yes / what does problematic really mean in terms of ships tho? (aside from the obvious)

ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING? : no / selectively / yes ( listen natasha x yelena x elektra and natasha x bucky x steve fiGHT ME )

ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER? : no / sometimes / yes / idk what this means but i'm open to shipping with three different versions of a canon character and am fc exclusive with ocs only

DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / sometimes ( but irdk bc ive never written one on here ) / yes

DOES CROSSOVER SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN? : no / yes / depends / plotting required

stolen from: @eternalzenith tagging: @medicbled @astremourante @trcnsitioncl & anyone else who wants to do it !

#ноль › natasha romanova love bot. ❪ ooc ❫ #q.

[lovelyxenofan]

Alright, I decided to make a few headcanons for some of my favorite characters from different fandoms because I got bored. And these are going to be Fanon. Except for my care bear character, that's canon.

First up is Nightmare, He's the main reason why I joined the Sonic.Exe fandom back in 2019, and I have nothing but good thoughts about him.

He's the type of person who doesn't hold back his emotions, and is mostly the serious one. He's the oldest in the group, and is very responsible when it comes to kids and his own needs. Nightmare has a father who raised him growing up, and is quite social around his close friends and family members. He also has an interest in Math. But whenever Nightmare gets upset, he will burst out in a heat of rage, and gets mostly pissed at people who he finds ignorant and disrespectful.

Xeno, My fiction crush as an adult, and has one of the best canon designs I've ever seen! I love him so much that I even ship him with my sona. Xeno is a very loveable guy when you get to know him. He's a great singer, plays with a electric guitar as a hobby, and is quite the fluent speaker during a conversation. He can be very nice to most people, but has a giant temper when someone messes with him the wrong way. He's also very competitive in fighting games, and has a love/hate relationship with Mario party and canon Xeno.

The third one is Lord X, or you can call him X for sort. Lord X just screams grandpa energy. He's more like the wife to me, and will be very happy to see you. X loves to play the piano, and is quite the hugger. Whenever X smiles sweetly with his teeth, it will either look terrifying to some people, or oddly adorable to anyone else. X also doesn't like short people jokes, mostly because he's 3'3ft tall. X doesn't talk about his private business with strangers, but he's not afraid at making a few sexual jokes whenever he's being devilish around his lovers.

Lavender Bear, She's one of my horror characters from my creepypasta story, "IT'S TIME TO CARE", and is the single mother of her only daughter, Stormy Bear. Now when it comes to Lavender, she will tell you everything that is on her mind without hesitation. She is strong, intelligent, and full of heart. Lavender's one of the supportive adults that has no clue what's going on in her world, but is very cautious about her surroundings. Lavender does not tolerate rude behavior from anyone, and will talk them down to her level head-on if they keep it up. Her close friend is Flame Bear, and her best friends are Brick and his roommate Leo/Shinning Star Lion.

And lastly is Peter, my other fictional crush and the best character in Andy's apple farm. He's a certified country bumpkin, and is the only one who doesn't have a family besides his mother. Peter loves his huge barn in the fields where Andy first met him, and is a big fan of country music. Peter isn't very evil compared with the canon version, instead he's in the same situation with Andy, and is very terrified of it. Peter also slowly gets along with a few of Andy's friends, except for Calus, because all Calus does is accuse him of being a monster, and acts very rude to him and Melody. Except for Margret and Felix. They've been really nice to Peter since he's arrive.

[insomniac-ships]

Hi there- I’m someone who wants to be pro-ship, but I’m kind of struggling about it. I SINCERELY believe that thought crimes are NOT a thing. But I also believe that a person interacting with certain ideas a lot, like very intense things so much it’s casual, can become numb and insensitive to it (as an example not related to pro-ship topics, I think it’s uncool when people joke about suicide a lot to the point where it feels like they don’t take it seriously despite it being a serious thing)

Can you offer any thoughts on the predicament? Were you ever kind of at war with yourself about it?

Like, as a broader picture, how can a person align themselves with any particular idea any more when so many people are chomping at the bit to misinterpret or pull out the worst possible thing attached to that idea?

I’m not necessarily asking you to answer all that, just the initial two if you have time and are willing. I wanted to get these thoughts out there to someone who wouldn’t harshly judge and your blog seems like a safe place to do do

Hey Anon! I'm honestly really glad that you felt safe enough here to ask questions like this.

(This got awfully long, so the rest will be under the cut!)

I totally understand where you're coming from, and to a point, I agree. Thought crimes are absolutely not a thing, and no one should be punished for thoughts that they don't act on. The idea that thinking something is the same as doing that thing can be very, very dangerous. I also completely understand your concerns about desensitization to some absolutely horrific stuff. I think it's important to be able to take a few steps back and really get a good look at the bigger picture every now and again. That might mean having to stop and sit with yourself in order to kinda... recalibrate. That's probably not the right word, but oh well. Sometimes it's necessary to give your head a good etch-a-sketch shake and remind yourself that fiction is fiction and reality is reality. I hope I didn't get too far off track, there.

[I, personally, sometimes get so involved in a hyperfixation that it tends to bleed into other aspects of my life. That's usually when I know I need to give the gerbils on hamster wheels my brain a bit of a shake and step back for a minute. Does that make sense?]

I can't say I've ever necessarily been at war with myself over this stuff, to be honest. When I was a preteen/teenager and first really started using sites like deviantArt, Quizilla, FF.net, and roleplay forums, it was never a question in my mind whether or not the (admittedly problematic) stuff I wrote or liked reading about would have been bad in real life. I knew it was. But I was also very aware that what I was reading and writing was fiction. It was pretend. No real people were being hurt. Even when I was all of 11 years old, I knew that the art I was seeing of fictional characters was, well, fictional. Running into KakaSaku art at 12 never made me think it was totally a-okay to date a 26 year old at that age.

I grew up in the era of "ship and let ship", "don't like, don't read", and having full conversations with fictional characters in the author's notes of fanfics. I've always been proship, even long before it ever had a name. That was just... normal back then.

That's kinda why I'm not against using the proship label, even with its awful reputation. I know myself, I know my values and beliefs better than anyone else does (despite what some antiship folks like to think), and at the end of the day, I know I'm a good person. I don't send hate, I don't start petty arguments or drama, I do my best to respect boundaries, and I try to mind my business. If people want to spread misinformation and make up lies about what being proship is about, fine. I know my truth, and the truths of many others. If people have questions, I'm happy to answer. ♡

I, uh... didn't mean to get so ramble-y there. QuQ I really hope I answered everything in a satisfactory manner. Like I said above, if you have any other questions, I'll do my best to answer! ♡

#ask t.k. #proship #anti-harassment #dead dove #pro ship safe #whoops this got longer than intended #sorry about that!

[yzxsn]

030223

| i like hearing your thoughts.

she wasn't sure what had moved ayu to read one of her own works this time, but surely something in the story must've captivated her, beyond stories she considered her own debut novel. 'sun tzu's art of love' had been a fantastic take on spinning an advisor into a love interest, and sparred with a variety of fantasy fictional historical-based stories of finding one's desires in the modern world upon it's release. yukari wasn't certain what ayu had found different about this title than her other, earnest entry, but upon the girl's sigh and shut of the book on the bookmark, she was determined to press her for responses.

even if, honestly, she just wanted to tease the girl for having the courage to try again at her own writing.

it was ayu who jumped first, realizing that yukari had been the one to look at her with a coy look, a half-grin. "o-oh! sensei… i didn't notice…"

yukari stifled a laugh. "ayu-chan. imagine getting scared in the house! you should be more aware of your surroundings."

"w-well, i was really distracted by the book…" ayu slid the novel away, onto the nearby coffee table, trying to shift upon the couch they were both on in the hopes that yukari had ample space for their conversation.

yukari merely obliged, sitting upright. "it's fine. i was merely teasing."

ayu's brief sigh gave the girl some pause. but she seemed to clam up right after, when yukari drifted in closer with a slide of her hand. "well? what did you think of it?"

"w-well…!"

and they went into a lengthy discussion about ayu's genuine surprise that she was reading a yuri novel the entire time! a surprising take -- which yukari took as decent response, for that was her intention in planning out the draft for this one-shot. and ayu's voice merely dwindled thereafter, looking at yukari with a hint of curiosity.

yukari merely tilted her head. "what is it?"

"um… it's just that… you were the one to write the book. and, given the way you write about yuri, and also the characters…"

if ayu looked but a hint sheepish, yukari was keen on looking past it. was it prejudice holding her back? the question shot her way thereafter was an expected, "does that mean you support… women who like other women?" but yukari felt herself in little position to hide her own views in her own space.

"why wouldn't i?"

because how other people love is none of my business, she'd wanted to add, had she not seen ayu's deep breath afterwards and a sigh of immense relief thereafter.

yukari wouldn't put the pieces together until later. the girl's tired, "thank goodness…" sparked an immense envy from the author, about childish innocence about the way kids viewed the world. it only seemed fair to be able to love anyone one wanted, so long as it wasn't hurting anyone else, right?

then, she was wondering why her heart was beating fast, too. maybe, she reasoned correctly, it was because finding a kindred soul in a country such as japan was difficult a measure enough, and to find one under her roof only made her feel comfortable in ayu's hands -- vice versa likely went for the ayu.

for now, yukari only found herself chuckling at ayu's response. she smiled back at ayu, truthful. "i like hearing your thoughts."

#femslash february #age gap tw #yuri before the deadline #yukari/ayu

[cosplayingwitch]

I posted 657 times in 2022

76 posts created (12%)

581 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thefallenbibliophilequote

@make-me-imagine

@gaitwae

@myraaaa17

@grufflepuff-writes-stuff

I tagged 139 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 23 posts

#fan fiction - 16 posts

#loki x reader - 6 posts

#tag game - 5 posts

#loki - 4 posts

#tagged - 4 posts

#uquiz - 4 posts

#quiz - 4 posts

#reader insert - 3 posts

#reccomended - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#as in i met a couple people for lunch once or twice in a date like scenario but without it officially called a date

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Not-really spoilers for Obi-Wan Kenobi ahead!

I love tiny Leia. She is as full of chaos and sass as grown Leia is. Well done, creators of Obi-Wan, well done. I think Carrie Fisher would be happy with this representation.

5 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

I kinda doubt it, but I have an idea if anyone wants a random writing prompt. I call it the "leftover valentine's candy challenge". I still have a box of smarties conversation heart things, so I could give you a prompt of a random candy or two drawn from the box.

So if you want to participate (which I doubt anyone will), let me know and I'll send you a picture of however many random candy quotes as you want. Obviously, you'd have to tag me in your finished story.

(I suspect this would be excellent for writing fluff.)

6 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#3

What am I doing with my Saturday night? With a migraine and having had quite a bit of my energy taken up in helping my mom with her class reunion, I'll be catching up on Bridgerton.

(Yes, I am only tonight beginning season 2.)

Plus, because I do love period dramas, I will be going to see the new Downton Abbey movie in the morning.

6 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

Anyone else watch Moon Knight and find themselves just enamored by Oscar Issac with an accent? Like, I knew I was attracted to him as Poe Dameron, but add a fucking accent and I'm head over fucking heels over here.

The show itself is cool, but I'll admit, this was one of the two reasons I even tried the show. (The other one being "it's marvel".)

13 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Three Drinks, Two Texts, and a Phone Number

Here we go! My first new fic since December! This is for @make-me-imagine 's 5th Anniversary Challenge

Pairing: Malcolm Bright x gn!reader (I reread it to double check, but if you spot any runaway pronouns please let me know)

Prompt: “Meet up for a blind date and getting along very well, only to realize halfway through you met up with the wrong person on accident.”

Length: just over 1200 words

Warnings: the reader does do a bit of drinking in this, and maybe mild language warning?

A/N: This is my first time writing in this fandom! I've wanted to write for this for awhile, but haven't gotten around to it. I also messed up with the prompt a bit, so that probably disqualifies me. But I wrote it anyway!

Three Drinks, Two Texts, and a Phone Number

You’d just gotten off work when your best friend called with an usual question.

“You’re single, right? Please tell me you are.”

“Ummm, yeah?” They’d been by your side after your most recent, and rather painful, breakup, so they had to have known this.

“And you still owe me for getting you an advance copy of that book?” You couldn’t lie, having a friend with a job at a bookstore had its perks.

“You’ve held that over my head since you did. Let me guess, you finally figured out how you want to cash in that favor?”

God, you hope it’s not something bad. Or illegal.

“You’re going on a date tomorrow night. Consider it a gift.”

“What?” You’re a little taken aback. “No.”

“You owe me. I’m not saying you have to marry the man, just go out with him. One date won’t kill you. Look at it this way, you’re getting a free meal out of this too.”

“If I do go, which is a big if, can I ask who I’m going on this date with?” You question, still a little hesitant.

“That would ruin the surprise, it’s called a blind date for a reason. And you are going, even if it means I have to drag you to the restaurant myself.” You knew she was being sarcastic, but something also told you that there was a bit of truth in that.

Eh, what the hell. Why not.

As you straighten your shirt, you can’t help but wonder if you’re overdressed for this.

“That’s nonsense. You’re still used to the work-from-home sweatpants. This is absolutely perfect for a date at a fancy restaurant.” Your best friend continued to babble over the video call, but nothing really stuck. You were busy being stuck in your own head.

*ding*

The sound of your phone jolted you back into reality.

“Okay. I sent you the address of the restaurant. Remember, 6 PM. No later.”

—-------

You arrive at the restaurant a little early, choosing to wait in the lobby than take up a table before whoever your date was showed up.

But that was exactly the problem. He never seemed to show up. You waited until 7 before giving up and asking the hostess if there were any seats available at the bar. Sitting down, you checked your phone in case your friend texted you that something happened to your date.

No text. You managed to get stood up by a blind date. 

“Date gone bad?” The man to your left asked.

See the full post

46 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[worldoshaking]

I’ve been having thoughts about translation lately, specifically in the context of svsss. tl;dr I really, really love the ways danmei fan translations are creating a vernacular of their own, and new conventions for what a good translation should look like. Both the web translation and the licensed version are amazing in different ways.

(First of all, I want to clarify that I’m speaking very much as a reader - I have no experience translating, and have the greatest respect for anyone who does. This is just a ramble about my own impressions as a reader of translations, based on my very specific cultural context; I don’t have the expertise for anything else. This is about translating fiction, not technical translation, which is completely different - there, a seamless, invisible translation is the objective. I’m also not Chinese and speak very little of the language, so I would not want to speak over anyone with a connection to the cultural context of these works. I also want to acknowledge that this whole community exists because of the enormous amount of labour Sinophone fans have put in to make these works accessible to the rest of us - as translators, writers of meta, and starters of important and often difficult conversations - and I’m immensely grateful for that!)

*

It’s kind of a peculiarity of English that localisation as a concept feels a little weirder than with other languages, because of the breadth and complexity of the Anglosphere as well as the historical context of the language’s spread. The thing is, English is a lingua franca that’s spoken in lots of situations where there are other languages in the picture: in online communities, in academic contexts, in diaspora communities, in countries with a colonial history, in conversations with people from other countries. In each of those situations, the context and purpose is a little different, and in some cases it can give rise to a distinctly recognisable flavour of English. I grew up in one of those contexts; English is my first language and I would call myself functionally a native speaker, but you can also hear from my English that there are, so to speak, other languages in the picture somewhere. This is also why the concept of ‘native’ is kind of a flawed one in a post-colonial world: there’s a degree of (often racial) bias in whose dialect is considered standard or native, and whose is ‘speaking wrong.’

Anyway, all of this is why it sounds weird to me when localisation gets taken too far, to the point where things like modes of address and linguistic register get ironed out, because it’s not completely unimaginable to me that these characters could be in situations where they would speak in English, even to each other, without their cultural context being any different. (I mean, there’s English-language slang in svsss, and two of the characters even use English as their secret language.) And as a speaker of English in largely bilingual contexts (i.e. contexts where everyone has other languages in common but English is the one we’re using), it sounds much less weird to me to, for example, keep the honorifics and titles, because that’s what I would do in an analogous context in real life. But more generally, it makes sense to look to how bilingual and diasporic speakers of the source language handle it! There are often specific conventions and forms of address that arise in bilingual linguistic communities. For instance, calling someone an ‘auntie.’

(This is a matter of taste, but I’m also okay with footnotes, because in my head the characters aren’t speaking to me, they’re speaking to each other with a shared cultural context; it’s fine if they use terms I don’t understand. But everything in moderation, of course; sometimes you need to translate ‘keikaku’ as ‘plan.’)

I think the reason it sounds weird and off to my ears when a translation sounds too localised is that it can feel whitewashed; at worst, some translations sound like they’re asking ‘How would these characters speak if they were white and monolingual and from the US?’ rather than ‘How would these characters speak if they happened to be speaking English?’ More generally, the approach prioritises creating a product that flows smoothly to speakers of the target language, who might not have any context for the source language; something along the lines of ’how would it sound if you had a babel fish in your ear?’ This would normally be a pretty reasonable approach to translation, but it sounds weird in this case specifically because those characters could be speaking English, and if they did that’s not how they’d speak it; for instance, if a character uses a respectful title to address someone else it sounds jarring to hear them just use a first name in the translation, because that conveys a completely different impression of the relationship between them and erases a potential hierarchy or power dynamic.

Of course, there are also really good translations that find interesting and creative ways to convey things like linguistic register in a smooth and elegant way, without relying on things like honorifics; these could potentially be more effective at conveying cultural context. It’s also about drawing a line between unnecessarily exoticising or othering the culture of the original work (which titles and honorifics can sometimes do, as in anime fandom) versus simplifying things too much in the urge to make them accessible to white audiences. There isn’t really a one-size-fits-all answer, beyond listening respectfully to speakers of the source language. But it’s a little uncomfortable that some modes of address and turns of phrase are labelled as ‘unnatural’ and ‘wrong’ when they’re quite conceivably ones that speakers of dialect or people with a diasporic background would use, or that societal structures that provide important context are completely erased from the translation.

*

I think that’s part of what I particularly enjoy about the good webnovel fan translations I’ve read: they preserve a lot more of that bilingual oddity and liveliness than, say, a commercial anime translation typically would. Granted, there’s always a slight artificiality to the exercise of translation, because you are constructing an English that these characters would speak when they don’t do that in the source material (characters who might, for example, live in a fantasy version of Ancient China, where English doesn’t even exist). But this feels like a much more natural and respectful, as well as more fun, way to do it! It’s also just a really fun linguistic worldbuilding exercise in miniature. I love the fact that these translations are creating a vernacular of their own among translators and readers, with a shared vocabulary of generally understood expressions that aren’t quite standard English (for instance, expressions like ‘who’s your shimei?’ or describing a clingy character as ‘sticky’ - it’s not the first term the typical Anglophone would use, but it’s both understandable and delightfully evocative) as well as titles like ‘shizun’ and ‘shixiong.’ Fundamentally, these translations feel very organically bilingual, and there’s an affection for the source material that really comes through.

Of course, it can be a delicate balancing act to decide how much you can get away with while keeping the translation functional and readable. I love both the original web translation and the licensed version of svsss, because I feel like they both take slightly different approaches to this question while still retaining the bilingual flavour. There are specific turns of phrase in the original fan translation that I really love (for instance, Shen Qingqiu’s ‘pure and literary air’ when he fights.) I also loved the inclusion of Chinese slang, and extremely serviceable terms like ‘papapa’ (as well as the borrowed Japanese slang; it really gives you the context of Shen Qingqiu being an annoying otakuTM, and I say this with the utmost affection for him.)

At the same time, I think the licensed translation does a wonderful job of keeping the slangy otaku online-ness of svsss while making it smoother and more accessible to a wider audience. They didn’t keep ‘papapa’ (at least so far; I haven’t read 2 in full yet), but the fact that they replace it with a range of wonderful, terrible, embarrassing euphemisms along the lines of ‘take a trip to pound town’ is even funnier. (Especially the fact that they come up with a different terrible expression every time; it’s so creative and hilarious!) They make Shen Qingqiu every bit as ridiculous and cringey and lovable as he is in the original fan translation, and construct a really unique and delightful English for him. I think the footnotes are also more extensive, and they’re really helpful!

In the end, I think the web and licensed translations are really complementary to each other, and I would heartily recommend reading both!

#mine #meta #...i mean. barely #mxtx #svsss #svsss meta #long post #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #linguistics #translation #also i love the illustrations in the licensed version so much ;_; #fluffy curly binghe <333 #scum villain #scum villain's self saving system

[sladerobinweek]

The DickDami anon here; First, It is 100% your blog and yours to do what you wish. I'm also not saying police anyone's ships. I know a lot are unfairly hated but as of Robin (Volume 3) #1, Damian is 14 years old. That was last year. Even if you ignore the concept of Dick helping raise Damian, and that he is essentially a father figure to Damian, he is a child, and that is 100% pedophilla. That is illegal. That isn't a kink. Pedophillia isn't a kink.

But you are saying that, though. You are literally saying 'police this particular ship I don't like' and trying to couch it behind shock-value big-nasty-words. Gotta say, a very odd take from someone presumably either following us or participating in this week? We don't do that here. (Don't throw stones in glass houses, and all that.)

Damian is a fictional character. He cannot be a minor and he cannot be 'illegal' in any sense you're talking about, because he is not real. Fictional characters don't age in real time. They don't age at all, in fact, because their age is a figment of the imagination just like everything else about them. Damian also cannot have 'essentially a father figure'. He cannot be a 'child.' He cannot be 'raised' by anyone. Every single part of him is an invention from someone's brain.

That is literally all he is, is words and images on a page.

Fictional characters are not real people. No harm can be done to them, they cannot have trauma inflicted upon them, and they have no sentience, voice to consent, or anything else.

(If such depictions were in any way illegal, there wouldn't be book series that included it. George R.R. Martin, as an easy example, would already be in jail for Daenerys - 13 when sold, in the first book. 15/16, even in the show, and that's with a live actor! I can think of a handful of others off the top of my head, too.)

Words have real meanings. That one you're throwing around up there for shock value? It means real, damaging, things to real people. It doesn't mean 'teenage fictional character in a sexual situation'. It doesn't mean 'fictional portrayal of an unhealthy relationship dynamic' either. It doesn't even mean 'fictional representation of an illegal act'. It doesn't even mean all three of them at once.

It 100% doesn't mean anything you're trying to claim it does.

Now.

I will say it again.

We believe in 'Ship and Let Ship'. We also believe in KINKTOMATO (Your Kink is Not My Kink, and That's Okay). We believe that creating fiction of dark things is a natural human behavior, no matter what form that takes. We believe that each person is responsible for their own consumption of content, and must learn to moderate that consumption to be healthy for their individual needs.

We do not judge other people's kinks. We do not judge what they like to read about in fiction. We do not judge what they like to get off to in porn, written or otherwise. We do not judge what people create.

If these facts upset you, that's something you need to come to terms with on your own. If you need to unfollow us, or 'boycott' the week, or something else for your own health, you are more than welcome to.

This is the last we'll be responding to you, at least for now. We're here to have a good time with ships we enjoy, and while I personally do find great enjoyment in writing up answers to things like this, most of our followers aren't here for that.

If you want to come off anon and have a conversation in private, we'll be here. I honestly never get tired of this.

(No children were harmed in the making of this content. Obviously.)

#Mod answers #Shipping #Fandom Wank #Apologies to the followers

[lorenfangor]

I heard that #40 was super homophobic :/ so I skipped it. But now your fic is making me want to give it a try. How problematic is it? Are the characters worth it?

Okay.

Okay.

Let’s talk about #40.

The plot of The Other (a Marco POV) is that Marco sees an Andalite on a video tape sent in to some Unsolved Mysteries-esque TV show, and he assumes it’s Ax and hauls ass to save him from being captured. Ax, being Ax, has videotaped the show, and they pull it up and Tobias uses his hawk eyes to figure out that it’s not Ax, it’s another Andalite - one without a tailblade. Ax is appalled at the presence of this vecol (an Andalite word for a disabled person) and we find out that he and others of his species have deep ingrained prejudices against at least some kinds of disabled people.

Despite this, Marco and Ax go looking for the Andalite in question because he’s been spotted by national TV, and they meet a second one, named Gafinilan-Estrif-Valad. The vecol is Mertil-Iscar-Elmand, a former fighter pilot with a reputation and Gafinilan’s coded-gay life partner. The two of them have been on Earth since book 1; they crashed their fighters on the planet and have been trapped there thanks to the GalaxyTree going down. Gafinilan has adopted a human cover, a physics professor, and they’ve been living in secret ever since.

Thanks to that tape, Mertil has been captured by Visser Three, and he’s not morph-capable so he can’t escape. Gafinilan wants to trade the leader of the “Andalite Bandits” to the Yeerks to get his boyfriend back; he can’t fight to free Mertil because he’s terminally ill with a genetic disorder that will eventually kill him, and (it’s implied that) the Yeerks aren’t interested in disabled hosts, even disabled Andalite ones. Despite Ax’s ableism, the Animorphs agree to work with Gafinilan and free Mertil, and they’re successful. Marco ends the book talking about how there are all kinds of prejudices you’ll have to face and boxes that people will put you in, and you can’t necessarily escape them even if they’re reductive and inaccurate, but you can still live your life with pride.

So now that I’ve explained the plot, I’m gonna come out the gate saying that I love this book. I love it wholeheartedly, I love Marco’s narration, I love Ax having to deal with Andalite society’s ableism, I love these characters, and as a disabled lesbian I don’t find these disabled gays to be inherently Bad Rep.

that’s of course just my opinion and it doesn’t overshadow other issues that people might have? but at the same time, I don’t like the seemingly-common narrative that this book is all bad all the time, and I want to offer up a different read.To that end, I’m going to go point by point through some of the criticisms and common complaints that I’ve seen across the fandom over the years.

“Mertil and Gafinilan were put on a bus after one appearance because they were gay!”

this is one I’m going to have to disagree with hardcore. I talked about this yesterday, but in Animorphs there are a lot of characters or ideas that only get introduced once or twice and then get written off or dropped - in order off the top of my head, #11 (the Amazon trip), #16 (Fenestre and his cannibalism), #17 (the oatmeal), #18 (the hint of Yeerks doing genetic experiments in the hospital basement), #24/#39/#42 (the Helmacrons’ ability to detect morphing tech), #25 (the Venber), #28 (experiments with limiting brain function through drugs), #34 (the Hork-Bajir homeworld being retaken, the Ixcila procedure), #36 (the Nartec), #41 (Jake’s Bad Future Dream), and #44 (the Aboriginal people Cassie meets in Australia) all feature things that either seem to exist just for the sake of having a particular trope explored Animorphs-style or to feature an idea for One Single Book.

This is a series that’s episodic and has a very limited overall story arc because of how children’s literature in the 90s was structured - these books are closer to The Saddle Club, Sweet Valley High, Animal Ark, or The Baby-Sitters’ Club than they are to Harry Potter or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mertil and Gafinilan don’t get to be in more than one book because they’re not established in the main cast or the supporting cast, I don’t think that it’s solely got anything to do with their being gay.

“Gafinilan has AIDS, this is a book about AIDS, and that’s homophobic!”

Okay, this is… hard. First, yes, Gafinilan does have a terminal illness. Yes, Gafinilan is gay. No, Soola’s Disease is not AIDS.

I have two responses to this, and I’ll attack them in order of their occurrence in my thought. First, there’s coded AIDS diseases all over genre fiction, especially genre fiction from that era, because the AIDS epidemic made a massive impact on public life and fundamentally changed both how the public perceived illness and queerness and how queer people themselves experienced it. I was too young to live through it, but my dad’s college roommate was out, and my dad himself has a lot of friends who he just ceases to talk about if the conversation gets past 1986 or so - this was devastating and it got examined in art for more reasons than “gay people all have AIDS”, and I dislike the implication that the only reason it could ever appear was as a tired stereotype or a message that Being Queer Means Death. Gafinilan is kind, fond of flowers, and fond of children - he’s multifaceted, and he’s got a terminal illness. Those kinds of people really exist, and they aren’t Bad Rep.

Second off, Soola’s Disease? Really isn’t AIDS. It’s a congenital genetic illness that develops over time, cannot be transmitted, and does not carry a serious stigma the way AIDS did. Gafinilan also has access to a cure - he could become a nothlit and no longer be afflicted by it, even if it’s considered somewhat dishonorable to go nothlit to escape that way. That’s not AIDS, and in fact at no point in my read and rereads did I assume that his having a terminal illness was supposed to be a commentary on homosexuality until I found out that other people were assuming it.

“Mertil losing his tail means he’s lost his masculinity, and that’s bad because he’s gay! That’s homophobic!”

so this is another one I’ve gotta hardcore disagree with, because while Mertil is one of two Very Obviously Queer Characters, he’s not the only character who loses something fundamental about himself, or even loses access to sexual and/or romantic capability in ways he was familiar with.

Tobias and Arbron both get ripped out of their ordinary normal lives by going nothlit in bad situations, and while they both wind up finding fulfillment and freedom despite that, it’s still traumatic, even more for Arbron I’d say than for Tobias. And on a psychological level, none of the main cast is left unmarked or free of trauma or free of deep change thanks to the bad things that have happened to them - they’re no less fundamentally altered than Mertil, even if it’s mental rather than physical. And yes, tail loss is equated with castration or emasculation, but that doesn’t automatically mean Mertil suffering it is tied to his homosexuality and therefore the takeaway we’re intended to have is “Being gay is tragic and makes you less of a man”. This is a series where bad shit happens to everyone, and enduring losses that take away things central to one’s self-conception or identity or body is just part of the story.

Also, frankly? Plenty of IRL disabled people have to grapple with a loss of sexual function, and again, they’re not Bad Rep just because they’re messy.

“Andalite society is confusingly written in this book, and the disability aspects are clearly just a coverup for the gay stuff!”

Andalite society is canonically sexist, a bit exceptionalist and prejudiced in their own favor, and pretty contradictory and often challenged internally on its own norms. In essence, it’s a pretty ordinary society, and they’re really realistic as sci-fi races go. It makes sense from that perspective that Andalites would tolerate scarring or a lost stalk eye or a lost skull eye, but not tolerate serious injuries that significantly impact your perceived quality of life. Ableism is like that - it’s not one-size-fits-all. I look at Ax’s reactions and I see a lot of my own family and friends’ behaviors - this vibes with my understanding of prejudice, you know?

“Mertil and Gafinilan have a tragic ending, which means the story is saying that being gay dooms you to tragedy!”

Mertil and Gafinilan have the best possible ending that they could ask for? They are victims of the war, they are suffering because of the war, they get the same cocktail of trauma and damage that every other soldier gets. But unlike Jake and Tobias and Marco, unlike Elfangor, unlike Aximili? Their ending comes in peace, in their own home. Gafinilan isn’t dying alone, he’s got the love of his life with him. Mertil isn’t going to be as isolated anymore, he’s got Marco for a friend. Animorphs is a tragedy, it’s not a happy story, it’s not something that guarantees a beautiful sunshine-and-roses ending for everyone, and I love tragedy, and so I will fight for this story. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it deserved better. But it’s not less meaningful just because it’s sad. Nobody is entitled to anything in this book, and it’s just as true for these two as it is for anyone else.

“It’s not cool that the only canonically gay characters in this series don’t get to be happy and trauma-free and unblemished Good Rep!”

This is one I can kind of understand, and I’ll give some ground to it, because it is sucky. The only thing I’ll say is that I stand by my argument that nothing that happens to Mertil and Gafinilan is unusual compared to what happens to the rest of the cast, and that their ending is way happier than Rachel and Tobias’s, or Jake and Cassie’s. But it’s a legitimate point of frustration, and the one argument I’ll say I agree has validity.

(Though, I also want to point out that I think there are plenty of equally queercoded characters in the story who aren’t Mertil and Gafinilan - Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all get at least one or two moments that signal to me that they’re potentially LGBT+, not to mention Mr. Tidwell and Illim in #29 and their long-term domestic partnership. There’s no reason to assume that the only queer people here are those two aliens when Marco’s descriptions of Jake exist.)

“Marco uses slurs and reduces Gafinilan’s whole identity to his illness!”

Technically, yes, this is true, except putting it that way strips the whole passage of its context. Marco is discussing the boxes society puts you into, the ones you don’t have a choice about facing or escaping. He’s talking about negative stereotypes and reductive generalizations, he’s referring to them as bad things that you get inflicted upon you by an outside world or by friends who don’t know the whole story or the real you. The slurs he uses are real slurs that get thrown at people still, and they’re not okay, and the point is that they’re not okay but assholes are going to call you by them anyway. He ends by saying “you just have to learn to live with it”, and since this is coming from a fifteen-year-old Latino kid who we know is picked on by bullies for all sorts of reasons and who faces racism and homophobia? He knows what he’s talking about. He’s bitter about what’s been said and done, he’s not stating it like it’s a good thing.

Yes, absolutely, this speech is a product of its time, but it’s a product of its time that speaks of defiance and says “We aren’t what we’re said to be,” and in the year this was published? That’s a good message.

tl;dr The Other is good, actually, and Mertil and Gafinilan are incredible characters who deserve all the love they could possibly get.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #mertil/gafinilan #mertil #gafinilan #mertil-iscar-elmand #gafinilan-estrif-valad

[divinefireangel]

They Just Don't Know You

Soft Yandere! Seo Moon-Jo x F! Reader

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: A 2nd longer fic for our lovely cannibalistic psychopath. I hate that I'm attracted to him. Someone please be my therapist. Or psychiatrist. Honestly doesn't matter. My brain is fucked anyway.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 16+ and written for female reader, but all can read. (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Except that I've mentioned reader is short, cuz LDW is tall 🥰. There is a brief mention of sex, but no actual smut. Reader kinda highkey hates on her parents and younger sister. Read it to know. Age gap between reader and Moon-Jo. Slight obsessive thoughts. Manipulative words. I tried to put plot twist in the end, probably you won't notice it 💀. Please please tell me if I need to add more warnings. Do not read if you start to feel uncomfortable. I apologize in advance 🥺

❗❗PLEASE READ WARNINGS ❗❗

Pre-Requisite / Summary: Just a fic based on the song They Just Don't Know You by Little Mix. After watching Strangers from hell I related this song to him for some reason. Reader and Moon-Jo are in an established relationship. And reader's loved ones don't approve.

2.3k ish words My longest fic till date 🥳

" You know that he's too old for you. You can settle for younger, much younger guys for your age sweetheart. If you can't find anyone eligible enough, we will find one for you. And you don't even know if he has intentions of marrying you. What if all he wants is just a fling or some time pass relationship. Hmm? What are you going to do then? "

Sipping her tea silently, Y/N sat next to her dad on the porch swing, listening to all the criticisms he had about Moon-Jo. All his words did was boil her blood. But what could she do when they don't walk in her shoes? They don't know how safe and content she feels when he kisses her like she's the only girl for him in the entire universe. And no point in explaining that to her father anyway. She's tried. And failed. Multiple times.

"Are you done with your tea?" She asks her dad, in desperate attempt to try and get away from him and his words because she knows, and even he knows that it's going to end up in a fight if they continue to speak on the same topic.

Humming yes, he hands her his tea cup which she takes to the kitchen so she can help her mom with dinner. Placing them in the sink upon entering the kitchen, Y/N drags her palms down her face in frustration.

" I could hear what he said you know. Your dad. He's not wrong. Seo Moon-Jo seems like he'll break your heart in three. And we're only looking out for you Y/N. You don't have to go through heartbreak when you can very well avoid it." Her mom finished slowly.

" Why. Why is it so difficult for you to accept the fact that I'm actually in a happy relationship for once in my life. So what if he's much older than I am? He's a dentist. A doctor. A very good profession and he's known and well respected in his neighbourhood too. " Y/N said loud enough for her dad also to hear.

Huffing in annoyance she left the kitchen to go upstairs to her room. Or rather the room she shares with her sister. Of course the door is wide open. The younger rascal is always here for the drama.

Ever since Y/N came out to her family about her relationship with Moon-Jo, her sister has become the favourite child, for obvious reasons. And now eavesdropping with the door wide open? That's a new low. But what else can Y/N expect from such a low life who is literally thriving off her own sister's pain and suffering.

When entering the room, Y/N realizes how big a mistake it was to visit her family. And she did not need such snark from a younger, less experienced child.

"Are you that blinded by " Love " that you don't even see how weird his hair is? A man who isn't an idol or actor doesn't need such long hair. He's clearly a fuckboy. Or man whore. Whichever is right. " She said with disgust.

'She's just jealous. She's just a jealous bitch. They all are.' Y/N thinks to herself.

" At least one of us gets laid regularly. And just so you know, it's absolutely heavenly when he makes me cum over and over on his fingers and his dick-" Y/N said as her tone slowly got lower and darker and her emotion angrier.

Screaming and covering her ears, the younger girl ran downstairs to her mother, no doubt to tattle on her older sister. Rolling her eyes, Y/N started packing her things, all of them, in a bag she took down from the top shelf of the wardrobe.

It's really difficult to leave one's family, but it is clearly getting more and more tiresome to love them nowadays. If it's so wrong to date him, why does Y/N herself not see it? She's a logical and smart young lady. Does her family hate that man so much that they don't even want her to be happy? No matter who she's with. And is it so bad to date a man who's older? Richer? And cares more about her than all of her family members combined?

Wiping the fallen tear stains from her cheek, she just thinks to herself ' They just don't know him. They just don't know him like I do. '

Sending a text to her lover, saying that she misses him and that she's coming back home sooner than planned, Y/N carries her bag through the front door, her parents and sister ignoring her as she leaves and walks out that door one final time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once reaching their shared apartment, Y/N collapsed into her lover's arms the moment he opens the door, crying her eyes out. Seeing his lover in turmoil, shedding a tear or two of his own, Moon-Jo carries her to the living room couch to cradle her like a child who needs attention.

" They- They said -"

" Shh my darling. I know. " Moon-Jo said, shushing his girlfriend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Once she's calmed a little, her sobs turning to sniffs, she lifts her head to meet his gaze.

Seeing her sad, tear stained eyes always upset him. More than anything in the world. Running his long slender fingers across her cheeks and jaw, he removes her hair from her ponytail with his free hand and rests it on her thigh.

" Tell me. Please tell me that you won't break my heart like them. That you won't try to tear my world apart like them. " Y/N looked desperately at him, wanting so badly to know that he's not just using her.

Those words, that slipped out her mouth, shocked Moon-Jo, to say the least. What did he do wrong? What did her family fill her head with?

Tilting his head to a little, he looks into her red eyes, trying to read her mind for a moment, all the while she just looked at him with the same desperate expression.

"Please tell me that you will be there when I need you the most. " Y/N whispered so softly, she herself barely heard it. But the end of the sentence, she started crying all over again.

Taking her head to his neck, he stroked her hair and her sides, trying to calm her down.

" Darling. I promise with my everything, that I will never leave you, I will never ever let you go. That I will do anything, anything necessary to prove my love to you. "

"No, oh dear no. That's not, you don't have- have to do anything at all to make me believe you love me. I'm sorry I asked such a stupid question. " She sobbed out.

Shushing her softly again, he rocks their bodies back and forth, till she's calmed and fallen asleep there, in his arms. Knowing that his arms are her only safe place for her from now on, he takes her delicate figure to the bedroom.

Placing her on her side of the bed, he lays down on his. Staring at her stunning face, he feather touches her face with his fingertips, memorizing every curve, every little detail on her, like a sculptor admiring his work and giving it the finishing touches.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" So, I did a little digging on your sugar daddy. "

" Why?! And he's not my sugar daddy. " Y/N said in disbelief. No. Not her dear best friend too.

" I know you said not to and I'm sorry. But I am worried about you. He made you leave your family Y/N. " They stated with worry and sympathy.

" No. He didn't make me leave them. I left them by choice. They don't see him like I do. And clearly, they hate that I'm happy with him. " Y/N finished as they sat down at the lunch table.

" Y/N..... "

" What? Even you don't want me to be happy? " She questioned her friend in disbelief. Laughing sarcastically Y/N shook her head.

" I've heard rumours! Okay? He was in the orphanage that had that severe fire explosion. And most of the culprits from that incident are MIA. What if he's one of the people who caused it?! " They said in a whisper, worried that the neighbouring people can hear their conversation.

" Do you really think that? All of that is just a rumour. And he's told me about it. He's told me everything. Unlike my parents who so desperately tried to tie me down to an arranged marriage. "

" He's not good for you. I know you deserve better. Okay he may make happy and all but what if he leaves? What if he just uses you and drops you like you were nothing? We're just trying to make sure you don't get hurt Y/N. Physically and emotionally. " They finished.

" This, all what you said, is cheap talk. But it'll eventually wear down because when we get married and have kids and all that in the future, you're all going to look like fools. And I will proudly say ' I told you so '. "

" If that's the case then I am the happiest person for you. Hopefully I won't have to be the one to say ' I told you so'. "

" Wow. I, just- hah. Wow. Just wow. " She paused.

" You know, I really hoped you would be more supportive or at least tolerant enough to have patience and support me with my decision for my love. " Y/N said loud enough for eavesdroppers to hear audibly.

Of all the people she would have to drop, never even in her nightmares had she fathomed that her best friend would be one.

Getting up from the table, she picks up her bag and leaves without another word, and goes to the only place that has love for her and that accepts her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reaching home, Y/N notices the place empty. Maybe he's at the clinic?

Shrugging off her bag and jacket she sits on the couch for a moment, before her restlessness takes over and she begins pacing in the living room.

Why are people being like this? Do they hate her so much? They barely know him. Why are they treating and accusing him to be such a criminal! He's not. He takes care of Y/N so much. He loves her so much. He provides for her. He's affectionate with her, more than he's told he thought capable. He's become her ride or die. And she, his.

They don't know him like I do. They will never love me like he does.

They don't know about the love they have. The just see what they want to see. Bloody society dictating whom to love and whom to not. Is it so hard to see the love they have for each other? Can't they just let it be. They don't know the turmoil she's gone through recently; they don't know how well he's taken care of her, kept her happy and same enough to not let her intrusive thoughts get the best of her.

Her thoughts interrupted by the door clicking open. Smiling, Moon-Jo enters with a box, surely containing sweets from her favourite bakery. How can you not love someone so considerate, who does things for you without even having to ask.

Seeing the sad look upon his lover's face, Moon-Jo's smile fades into a frown.

" What's wrong my dear? "

Smiling sadly Y/N just shakes her head, conveying that she doesn't want to talk about it.

Placing the box of sweets on the coffee table, the two hug each other, feeling of comfort taking over them both. She can just stay here, forever, in his arms till the world ends.

" Babe. What's wrong? You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I'll take care of the problem. " Delicately Moon-Jo cradles Y/N's head in his palms, making her face up to him, their height difference evident.

Sighing, she moves to sit on the couch, motioning him to do the same. " It's just people. And what they say. My family was one thing, but my best friend, the person I chose as my family " Pausing Y/N breathers the tears back in, " They were doubtful of you today. How can I live knowing that no one will approve of us? " Y/N questioned looking at him.

" Does their opinion really matter that much? So much so that you are skeptical of my affection to you? " Coldly, he moved back from his seat on the couch.

" No! No. Gosh that is not what I mean. Not at all. I love you and I know that you love me. So much. So much so I would die for you. But there are other people whom I care about. Who's opinions matter to me. And I don't want to let them go. As happy as I am with you, I need them too. They give me joy in a different way, that is important. "

" Do I not make you happy? Are you not content with the love I give you? Is it not enough? " He asks carefully.

" That's not what I meant! You love me more than anyone I've known. "

"Then what's the problem? You don't need those people who don't love you. You have me. You will have me forever and ever. I will never leave you. And you will never leave me either. We'll be with each other till the end of the world darling. "

Nodding with a small smile you looked down at your feet.

Unhappy with your action, Moon-Jo pulls your face up by your chin to look at him with such force, it scared you a little, making your heart skip a beat in fear.

" Do you not love me, babe? " He asked tilting his head to a side, his expression mildly offended.

" I do! I love you. So much. " You finished with a soft tone, cupping his face with your hands.

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat, Moon-Jo leaned down to capture your lips with his. Reacting immediately, you kissed him with as much energy and sincerity you could muster, as you head filled with thoughts of doubt.

Had your parents been right? Had for friend been right? Had they all been right all along and you too blind to see?

No. It can't be. He loves you. He's said that so many times. And you love him.

You love him.

You.

Love.

Him.

...

Do you love him, or have you been illusioned into loving him?

#lee dong wook #lee dong wook imagine #lee dong wook x reader #ldw #strangers from hell #strangers from hell x reader #hell is other people #seo moon jo #seo moon jo x reader #seo moon jo imagine #seo moon jo x f!reader #yandere seo moon jo

[class1akids]

BNHA 320 - Thoughts

How do you have a fight between people who don’t want to hurt each other? 

The answer is to turn it into a giant Catch-a-Deku and shower him with a plus ultra dose of friendship. 

Kacchan proves right at the bat that they’ve predicted Deku’s likely course of action. He had a move ready to counter smoke-screen, which does not surprise me at all. I bet he’s been thinking up ways to match / counter Deku’s new quirks as soon as he laid eyes on All Might’s notebook. 

Also, all the discussion from last week can be laid to rest on whether Kacchan told the others that he was part of team OFA - he obviously prepared them - they all recognized Smokescreen. 

What is even more interesting is that he calls out Deku (and by implication his younger self) about how once someone is able to do everything alone, everyone else starts to look like extras. That it’s easy to lose perspective. I guess Kacchan is saying that from experience, knowing how screwed up that is. 

Deku doesn’t want to hear this, so he bolt.  Then the action is rather cool - we get Kouda sending in a flock of pigeons, a Sero-Midoriya spiderman vs spiderman tug of war, Jirou having a totally new move (let my girl fight, she looks badass), 

Ojirou catching Deku with his tail, Dark Shadow pushing Deku into Momo’s sleep machine. So I guess with was Plan A (probably the Momo-plan). It would also make a pretty cool theme park ride if anyone would ever want to make one. 

They are not trying to hurt Deku, only get him in Momo’s sleepy-time machine, which Deku resists like an angry toddler, all the while talking about their bonding moments - Jirou about Deku helping her to organize her notes, Ojirou about how Deku got angry on his behalf.

They all appreciate Deku for just normal friends stuff - nothing to do with Deku’s quirk or his self-sacrifices, but simply his caring, decent nature. For things that are totally unrelated to OFA or breaking himself for the sake of others. 

Satou is going for the jugular mentioning Eri and her candied apples. And it’s so heart-breaking that even at the mention of Eri, Deku thinks that she would be all right with anyone. (Deku, you total dumbass). He also asks his classmates not to care about him anymore (hahahaha) as he breaks the sleep-machine. Love Dark Shadow’s little exasperated look. 

..only to be caught by Kaminari giving him a bro-hug, telling him that even if they never interacted that much, he thinks of Deku as his pal. I adore Kaminari - he doesn’t even use his quirk, he uses his superpower as official whisperer of all the beasts of class A. 

Shoji is next in restraining Deku and reminding him back when Deku thought that Shoji, Tokoyami, Shouto, Bakugou and himself were awesome enough to go up against All Might even. I love this reminder, not only how much his classmates also been through and handled, but that back before OFA-Sixquirks, Deku used to see them differently. And it’s not like they’ve become any weaker since then - rather the opposite...

Tokoyami is back with Ragnarok - Womb that looks like a pretty awesome cocoon - I adore the design and all of Tokoyami’s moves, putting Kaminari in there with him, who finally says the most important thing to Deku.

Yes. Please. For the love of All Might, go, take a shower, Deku.  Shoji at the same time asking him if he only sees them as people to protect now - and it’s a very pertinent question - hits very hard - it’s something I’ve been asking since the beginning of the arc, and I’m glad someone asked him that. Even if Deku doesn’t think like that, it’s important he understands what it FEELS like to his friends.

Deku breaks out from the cocoon, but finally the mask falls and he’s holding back tears now, gritting his teeth, saying yet again, how he’s fine. Sure Deku, you look “just fine”. I guess it’s another one for the list... 

He also notes how Danger Sense didn’t activate this whole time (which the scanlation totally mistranslated btw), because the class has no ill intent. Cue my UA traitor theory. 

So as Deku breaks free, he yeets himself head-first into a Heaven Piercing Ice Wall - nice throwback to the first Kamino rescue - and damn, Shouto made it go straight up in an instant, and you can see how high it is. 

But even more devastating is Shouto’s deeply disappointed face, as he questions if Deku can even cry anymore - a nice throwback to their heroes cry too conversation. 

Deku’s resolve is really weakening now and Tsuyu still comes to give her two cents - about comic-book heroes and turning fiction into reality, and why does she talk like AFO suddenly.  

Interestingly, there is a car approaching - it’s either Hercules or Jeanist Mobile, so we may have an interruption soon. I hope it’s All Might - he should really say something about this lone pillar thing. 

We’ll know in two weeks, but other than some of the big guns in terms of closeness to Deku - Iida, Uraraka and of course, Professor Kacchan, with a PhD in Dekulogy - we still have some of the less significant and mid-tier characters who haven’t spoken: Aoyama, Hagakure, Mina and Kirishima.  I’m guessing the UA traitor will be one of them and may end up pinging Danger Sense. 

I guess Iida and Uraraka will be the real heart-breakers, and Kacchan (if we’ll segue now into DvK3) will be the nuclear explosion in the end. 

Or maybe Deku gets his bath before that happens. 

In any case, so far - I think the “fight” is handled in a balanced way. Nobody tries to hurt the other, the class is showing some new moves, a bit of clever combos, Deku can show off his growth to them, but ultimately it’s a fight for his heart. They are talking to him like to a friend - they are not putting him on All Might’s pedestal, but try to draw out the human side of him and try to get it through to him that he’s appreciated exactly for that. 

The class is not approaching Deku, the hero, they try to get through to their dumbass friend who is hurting and is in need of help. They are breaking him with friendship and the no-jutsu has more punch when it’s stuff that’s been built for a long time. 

It also shows that the more gut-wrenching moments are the ones with classmates who he has a longer or closer history with. So I’m getting my tissue box ready for 321. 

Also, check out the trivia in HK’s author comment about the origin of Deku’s name. It’s pretty cool. 

All the dude-bros frothing at the mouth about how Deku didn’t get to beat class A to a pulp makes this chapter extra delicious.

#bnha 320 #c1a reads bnha #bnha manga spoilers #bnha meta

[neko-rogers]

But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship, 

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

     A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

     “It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

     You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

     Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

     But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is. 

     Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

     “Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

     In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike. 

     The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

     You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

     Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day. 

     To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

     And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

     “Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

     In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

     “It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

     “Oh okay, sure.”

     “Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

     “I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

     As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

     “I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

     Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

     You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

     You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

     “What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

     Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

     “I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

     Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

      He does not argue with you any further.

     “Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs. 

     At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

     “Okay.”

     He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

     “Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

     Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

     Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

     God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

     “Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

     As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

     “It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

     “Are you sure? I–”

     And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.” 

     “Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

     One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

     “Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

     “Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

     There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same. 

     “It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

     “I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

     Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

     “Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.” 

     In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     “I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face. 

     “Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

     “I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

     It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you. 

     “Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

     You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

     “Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

     “And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

     “Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

      Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

     “I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

     “Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

     “I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

     His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

     The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

     With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

     “I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

     “Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

     Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

     It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

     You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

     You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

     Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

     He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

     The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

     “Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.” 

     As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

     Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

     As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

     When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

     At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

     The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

     You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

     This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

     Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow. 

     And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

     From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

     It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

     Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

      Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

     Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

     In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

     “Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

     “Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

     You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

     “Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

     Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

     You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

     “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

     Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

     After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

     “Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

     “Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

     “Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

     You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

     “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

     Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

     “Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

     Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

     “I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

     “Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

     “Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

     “Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

     “Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

     “Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

     “Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

     “It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

     “Uhm.” You were doubtful of him. 

     However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

     “Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

     “Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

     “I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

     Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

     “Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

     An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

     Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

     If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

     True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

     At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

     In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

     “Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

     “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

     As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

     For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

     Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

     You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

     “Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

     “No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

     He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

     Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

     He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

     “I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones. 

     You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

     “Was is it?”

     “I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

     It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

     “Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

     Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

     “Peter, I–”

     “Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

     What. The. Fuck.

     “No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

     The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

     Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

     Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

     Lastly, you turned around and ran.

     You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

     Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

     Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

     You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

     “Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

     You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void. 

     From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

     Hell please let this be a nightmare.

     “What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

     Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

     Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

     “Uhh.”

     That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

     When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

     As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

     Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

     On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

     “Fuck,” you grumble.

     “That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

     “Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess. 

     “If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

     Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

     Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

     Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

     You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

     “Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–”      “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

     Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

     “Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

     “We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

     No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

     “Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

     “I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

     You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

     Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

     “What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face. 

     “P-please let me go.”

     “I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate. 

     Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

     “Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

     As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

     He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

     “I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

     Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

     “I can’t.”

     “Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

     “I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

     You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

     “You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words. 

     “Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

     It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

     “Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper. 

     Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

     “I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

     “No–”

     He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

     “You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

     Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

     Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

     You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

     His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

     “Sorry, babe.”

     He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your  skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

     Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

     “Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

     Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

     Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

     You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

     “You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

     Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

     Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

     “Oh,” you moan.

     He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

     “I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

     Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

     You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

     “You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

     The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

     But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

     As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

     He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

     There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

     The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

     “Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

     “You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

     Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

     Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

     “We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

     He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

     You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

     Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

     As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

     The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

     Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

     And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

     You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

     The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

     “I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3

#dark!peter parker #dark!peter parker imagine #dark!peter parker smut #dark!peter parker x reader #dark!peter #dark!peter x reader #dark peter parker #dark peter parker x reader #dark peter parker imagine #dark peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker smut #peter parker x reader #dark!verse #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman smut #spiderman x reader

[allyouneedisbuck]

Fine Line

Summary: There’s a fine line between love and hate and you’re not too sure which side you’re on with Harry anymore. Part Two to What Kind of Man 

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: I said this in the first part & will repeat it. This is purely fictional. This in no way reflects how I feel Harry would handle this situation in reality. I’m really using Harry as a character. DO NOT READ THIS if you feel the situation of cheating and staying together will impact you strongly or offend you. That is not what I want when reading my story. 

Notes: I urge those uncomfortable with cheating to avoid this. I also urge those who dislike this kind of writing to avoid. I came up with this story at a point in my life where my parents were divorcing, I was going through a break up and was lost. I’ve decided to finish this story because I put so much effort into it for it to end unfinished feels wrong. I can’t speak for anybody and how they would handle this situation. 

Thank you for 1000 followers. That is crazy! 

-

You’ve got my devotion. 

But man, I can hate you sometimes.

...

You sunshine, you temptress.

My hands at risk I fold.

-

April. 

The first two sessions had gone by in relative silence. You weren’t sure what to say to answer the therapists questions. You weren’t sure you even wanted to talk at all. 

“Y/N.” You look up startled out of your thoughts. “Do you feel like talking today?” Her eyes are kind and understanding. Her degrees hang behind her head and you zone in on them. Dr. Walsh had been the only therapist who could take you on in April. Any others that you called had informed you their next opening for new patients wasn’t until the end of May. 

You supposed it could have been worse. So far, Dr. Walsh had come across as kind and understanding of your hesitance. She had never forced you to talk and had only tried to get you involved on your own accord. 

“What would we talk about?” You ask instead of ignoring in silence like you had the past two sessions. You can see Harry turn his head to look at you out of the corner of your eye, but you remained focused on the two degrees hanging behind Dr. Walsh’s head. 

UCLA. “What year did you graduate?” You ask before she can answer your original question. “From UCLA.” 

“We can talk about whatever you want. How you two met. Your kids.” You raise an eyebrow and she smiles. “1996.” 

“I thought we were supposed to talk about our issues. Why would we talk about our kids or how we met?” You answer her question. You can tell Harry’s eyes are moving back and forth between the two of you, like he’s unsure if he should get involved in the conversation. 

Dr. Walsh shakes her head. “Sometimes the best place to start is with what makes you two happy. You’re here to work on your relationship, right?” 

The two of you nod. “Then I’m not worried about starting with the most painful part of your relationship. I want to learn about it. If I can learn about your relationship then I have more knowledge on how to help you repair it, if that’s what you want.” 

“Okay.” You agree. You feel some of your tenseness fade away. You were here for a reason. “We went to UCLA too.” 

She nods. “You did? Were you studying the same thing? Is that how you two met?” 

You look down at your fidgeting hands and let out a laugh. “Not quite. I was a creative writing major and Harry was political science. We met in a World History course our sophomore. It was a general requirement class.” 

“Yeah.” Harry nods as if the memory is coming back to him. “Professor Ward.” 

“Mind if I sit here?” You look up and your breath hitches. He was handsome. That was your first thought. Bright eyes and a sweet smile that could take anyone’s breath away. 

You nod hastily. “Yeah. It’s all yours.” You move your notebook over so he has a bit more room on his half of the table.

“Thanks.” He drops his books on the table and flops down into the chair. “Harry.” He reaches a hand towards you and you meet him halfway. 

You offer your name up easily and his smile brightens. “What brings you into a World history course?” He asks quietly as the last bit of students rush into the few seats left up front. 

You smile. “Creative writing majors have to take one broad history course before focusing on any history of writing courses. Ward’s class was the only one with openings that didn’t start at eight.” 

“Creative writing. That’s cool.” Harry’s spinning the pen in between his fingers. “You want to be a writer?” 

You smile nervously and nod. “That’s the goal. What brings you to Ward’s World History?” 

Harry laughs softly. “I’m a political science major, this is just a required gen ed.” 

“Political science. What’s your plan with that? Am I sitting next to a future senator?” You give him a teasing smile. 

“Lawyer.” 

You shrug, “Senators have to start somewhere.” The professor comes in and that halts the conversation from going anywhere else. As Professor Ward goes over the syllabus you see a piece of paper slide across the table towards you. You look over at Harry, but he’s looking ahead with a smirk on his face. 

You unfold the paper and there is a number written in messy handwriting taking up the small page. 

“Bold.” You whisper to him and he shrugs. “I can tell we’re gonna be good friends.” He whispers back. 

“So you both liked each other right away?” You look up as you're dragged out of the memory of meeting Harry. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out. “I think so.” 

“Definitely.” Harry agrees. “I’m lucky I was running late that day. The seat next to her was the only good seat left. Plus, she helped edit all my essays. I was a shit writer before her.” 

You smile softly at the memory. “Y/N?”  You look up and Dr. Walsh is watching you closely. 

“That class sucked.” You can’t help but let out a laugh. “We had so many essays. He’s right, he was a shit writer before me.” 

You finally spare a look over at Harry and he’s watching you with soft eyes. “That was our first semester of sophomore year. We were attached at the hip after that.” You look back down at your hands. 

“Did you guys start dating right away?” She asks.

“Pretty much. We started dating right before winter break.”  Harry answers for the both of you. 

She nods as she eyes the clock on the wall. “Does that memory still make you happy?”

You nod. Your memories hadn’t been ruined. But that didn’t really mean anything when you could barely be in the same room as Harry now. “Of course. But… Things are different. We’re not twenty-somethings with no responsibility. We’re parents. Partners. We’re supposed to have each other’s back. And now it feels like we don’t.” 

Harry looks over at Dr. Walsh as she studies you. She was obviously taking in your words and processing a response to them. “I think the biggest question you need to find the answer to is, do you want to fix this marriage?” She finally says looking pointedly at the distance between you two. 

You pause and mull over her question. “Can we fix it?” You ask quietly. 

She shrugs. “I can’t answer that for you. It’s my job to help you find the answer, not give it to you. What I can tell you is; Sometimes people walk out of this with a new appreciation and love. Sometimes people realize it can’t be fixed. Nothing is wrong with either, it’s just up to you two to figure out which one it is.” 

You look over at Harry and find him watching you with hopeful eyes. You knew he wanted to and felt like you both could fix this. 

But you weren’t sure. “I don’t know.” 

-

The drive home is silent for the most part. Music playing softly from the radio as you stare out the passenger side window. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Harry says as he pulls the car into the driveway. He puts it into park but doesn’t turn it off so the music is still playing as he turns to look at you. 

Gemma’s car was parked behind your own. You see the curtain move slightly which is a telltale sign that a child was peeking out the window. It quickly falls back into place when your eye catches Serena’s. 

You shake your head and look back down at your lap. “What is there to say?” 

Harry shuts his eyes and you see his grip on the steering wheel tighten. “I want to fix this. I’m trying. Do you want to fix this?” 

You let out a humorless laugh. “Don’t try and guilt me, Harry. I didn’t cheat, you did. This… This mess isn’t my fault and it shouldn’t be my job to fix it.” 

“I’m not trying to guilt-“ He cuts himself off and takes a deep breath. “That was a shitty thing to say. I know. I just want to know if we’re gonna make it through this. If you think we have a chance.” 

You look over at him with watery eyes. “I don’t know. All I can think about is you fucking another woman while I was home with our kids. Telling them that you were just busy. That we would have dinner tomorrow. Or maybe the next day.” 

Harry flinches like you’ve hit him. You turn away but don’t stop talking. “I know a month may not seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things. We’ve been together for seventeen years, so what’s a month?” You laugh humorlessly. “But how long have we been distant? How long have you been staying late and missing dinners?” 

“I don’t know.” Harry whispers and you see him clench his eyes in an attempt to stop tears from falling.

“It’s been months, Harry.” You look around the yard. Your and Persephone’s plants needed maintenance. “We had Jack and then everything changed. We stopped date nights. Family game nights faded from existence. We stopped having sex. I… I don’t know what happened.” 

Harry doesn’t say anything so you sigh. “I’m trying, Harry. It may not seem like it to you, but I’m trying.” You unbuckle yourself and move to get out of the car. 

Harry reaches out and wraps his hand gently around your wrist. “I know.” He stresses the word. “I know you are.” 

You nod and the two of you just watch each other for a moment. You break away from him first. “I’m sure the kids are peeking out the window. We’ve been out here long enough.” 

The both of you climb out of the car silently. The door flies open by the time you reach the second step of your front porch. 

“Mama!” Oliver comes flying out towards you. “Mama. Never leave us again. Baby Jack is crazy.” He grips you tight and you laugh, the tension immediately leaving your body as you hug him back. 

Gemma comes to stand in the entrance with Jack on her hip. She gives you a weak smile and you smile back. “Come on, I’m sure Aunt Gem is dying to go home after watching you crazy lot for two hours.” 

Gemma leaves quickly handing Jack off to Harry and giving you and Harry both kisses on the cheek. “Let me know about spring break, Y/N!” She calls as she rushes out your front door. 

“Spring break?” Harry asks as he bounces Jack in his arms. 

“We’ll talk about it later.” You say sparing a glance down to Oliver, who’s still attached to your leg. Harry nods before moving towards the living room. Oliver follows behind him and you’re left in the front hall alone. 

You take a deep breath before following them. 

-

Harry sleeps in the guest room. You can’t bring yourself to allow him back into the room you two shared. 

His clothes remain in his half of the closet though and his toiletries had remained in place on the bathroom counter, so you saw him every night before going to sleep. 

Dr. Walsh had suggested the two of you used this time to try and reconnect. “You don’t have to sleep in the same bed yet. It’s completely normal for you to need time apart, Y/N. But I do want you two to talk before bed every night, I know you have four kids and it may be your only true alone time to reconnect emotionally before you ever do anything physically, even just sleep.” She had offered at the end of your session after you had admitted you weren’t sure how you felt about Harry and your relationship now. “This is a good way to figure out if you can still see yourself together.” 

You loved him. You didn’t need her to help you answer that question. He was the father of your children. You had over a decade of amazing times together. But you couldn’t look at him without your chest aching. 

“What was Gemma talking about spring break?” Harry sits on the lounge chair you two had placed in the corner of your room. Jack’s bassinet used to be next to it, but he had recently moved into his own room. 

You sit on the end of your bed with your arms crossed over your chest. “Olly has been asking if we could go to Disney World. I was talking to her about maybe surprising him and Serena for their birthday since it falls during the kids break this year.” 

“That sounds really nice.” Harry smiles and you nod. “I’m sure the four of them would love it. I can put in for the week tomorrow. I have a bunch of paid time off I need to use up.” 

You look up at him with wide eyes. “You want to go? We haven’t been on vacation since the beach trip before Jack was born.”

Harry’s face turns stoic. “Of course I want to go. I told you I was going to spend more time with guys.” He walks towards the dresser you have pushed against the wall. “Here, pull your laptop out, let's book this now so we can get a good room.” 

You gape at him. It had only been an idea you were considering for the twins birthday. Although, it was coming up and you were running out of time to make a decision. 

“Are you sure you can get the time off?” You ask instead of listening to his direction. 

Harry nods resolutely. “Can I?” He points next to you and you nod. You lean over to your nightstand, where you had left the computer the night before while writing. 

You push it open. “I’m gonna go get Persephone.” You stand up and hand the laptop to Harry. “She can help plan some stuff with us, so we know what these young kids want.” You give Harry a weak smile and he nods. 

You shake your hands out as you make your way down the hall towards your eldest daughter’s room. You knock softly on the door, “Seph?” 

“Come in.” She calls and you push the door open. She’s got her show paused and is curled into her comforter. “What’s up, mom?” 

“Can you help your dad and I with something?” You ask hesitantly. “I know it’s late, it’ll be quick.” 

Persephone gives you the same dimpled smile Harry has, “Of course. I was gonna be up binge watching this show anyways.” She unwraps herself from the blanket and grabs her phone before following you back to your bedroom. 

“Hey, lovebug.” Harry gives her your favorite smile. One he’s somehow reserved solely for you children. Soft and bright while his eyes shine proudly. 

“Hi, daddy.” She plops herself down next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to her forehead and the smile that spreads across Persephone’s face is contagious. 

You take a seat next to her, so she is squished in between the two of you. “You know how Olly has been asking about Disney?” You ask quietly. You and Harry had put the twins down an hour ago, but Oliver was known to sneak away from his room for a cuddle with you. 

She nods instead of verbally answering and Harry pulls up the booking website. “Your mom had the great idea to surprise the twins for their birthday.” 

“Really?” Seph asks excitedly. Your family trips usually consisted of beaches or visiting grandparents. The last time you had been to Disney was when it was just the three of you. You weren’t sure she could even remember most of the trip. 

You bump her shoulder softly with an excited grin. “Really. Jack is old enough that he can get probably through a day there without screaming his head off. Aunt Gem said that she could come to help watch him so you three can have fun.” 

“That sounds awesome!” She lifts her head from Harry’s shoulder and looks at you happily. “What did you need my help with?” 

“Picking out where to stay. You guys are the focus of the trip so we want you to stay where you want to, not us.” You gently take the laptop from Harry and place it in her hands. “So tell us your top three and then dad and I will pick from there so you still get to enjoy some of the surprise aspect.” 

She scrolls through the website for a few minutes while the three of you sit there quietly. You glance over at Harry hesitantly. He’s looking down at your daughter with bright eyes. 

You quickly look away when his eyes move up to meet yours. “Okay. I added the three I liked the most to your favorites! Did you guys need anything else?” 

You both shake your head. “Just keep this a secret. It’s going to be a surprise.” You smile excitedly at your eldest. She had grown so much, but seeing the childlike shine of excitement in her eyes brought you a bounty of joy. She was still your baby. 

Persephone nods before handing the laptop back over to Harry. She presses a kiss to both your and his cheeks before hopping up and making her way towards your door. 

You give her a confused smile when she pauses and turns back around to face you again. She takes in a nervous breath before speaking. 

“It’s really good to be all together again.” The words are quiet and fearful. “Um. I love you guys. Goodnight.” She turns on her heel and bolts out the room and back down the hall. 

You gnaw on the inside of your cheek and look down at your lap. “I’m sorry.” Harry whispers. His tone is similar to her’s. Quiet and full of fear. “I love you all. I know I hurt you, but you are all my world. Those kids are what I’m most proudest of.” 

“I know.” You look over at his lap. His hands curled tightly around the laptop still open in his lap. “I never doubted how much they meant to you Harry. I know how much you love those kids.” 

You want to reach out and pull his hand into yours. Something you usually did when Harry was scared or nervous. But you kept your hand firmly planted in your lap, unable to give him that forgiveness. 

“I was never afraid of you not loving them. I was-“ You stop unsure of what to say. What were you afraid of? “I was afraid that I had given so much and you still wouldn’t have chosen me.” 

Harry looks over at you with sad eyes and you let out a humorless laugh. “Harry, I’ve never regretted having Persephone so young. I’ve never regretted being home. But, I just want you to show that… that you appreciate me.” 

“I do appreciate you.” Harry says quietly. “I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like I don’t.” He places the laptop in the empty space in between you. You watch as he works through what to say, his tension clear in his eyes. 

“But…” He trails off like he’s still unsure of what to say. “I’m here. I want to be here. I want to show you that I appreciate you.” Harry takes a deep breath and places a hesitant hand on your back. “As long as you’ll have me.” 

You take a deep breath. “Let’s focus on this... I want the twins to have a great birthday and for Seph to have a great spring break. Things have been tough for them too. We can figure the other stuff out later.” 

Harry doesn’t say anything, just nods and pulls the laptop back towards him. You can tell he wants to though. That he wants to talk this out and get in deep.

You just can’t bring yourself to do it. 

-

“A family vacation can be very cathartic for couples struggling.” Dr. Walsh gives the two of you a kind smile after you reveal what you had planned for your kids. “But, it can also bring about stress at being in such a small space for such a long time. Especially when you’re still struggling to communicate.” 

“I’m really trying.” You say quietly, on edge at the idea of you and Harry bringing about any stress on a trip meant to be for your kids. “We both are. I think.” 

“I know.” She gives you an understanding look. “You guys do your homework. You said it yourself, your nightly conversations aren’t painful anymore. But talking about small things is only the beginning of strengthening your communication.” 

“So you want us to talk about the affair?” You ask. “The big thing.” 

She shakes her head. “Eventually. Sweeping it under the rug or ignoring it can only cause more tension. But there are other things I’m sure you want to talk about as well.” 

“Like what?” Harry asks. He glances over at you before looking back at Dr. Walsh. 

“Anything either of you felt was an issue.” She explains. “Big or small. Anything you think contributed to your distance. Try to remember, you’re not placing blame.”

“Not even for the affair?” Harry sighs and you shut your eyes. “How can I not place blame? That’s not my fault.” 

“No.” She agrees. “I’ve never agreed with placing blame for something like that on the victim. Do you want to start with talking about it?” 

“No.” You shake your head. “I just wanted to make sure we’re not finding all these so-called small issues so we can then excuse the cheating. I won’t do that.” You say disdainfully. 

“We don’t expect you to.” She glances over at Harry. He looks pained but he nods in agreement. “Of course not.” He says quietly. 

You take a deep breath in before nodding. “Okay, then where do we start?” 

“A lot of times, affairs feel like they come out of nowhere. They do.” She gives you an assuaging look. “But it’s also important to remember that there were issues before it and they’re still there to be worked through. We want to work through the big problem, but oftentimes couples work through that but not other things and end up separating.” 

You nod and take a deep breath trying to think through issues. Things had felt perfect during your pregnancy with Jack. 

You were excited, a fourth child and it was a boy, you and Harry had been hoping for another boy. Harry had even planned the small family vacation to the beach so you could enjoy time together as a family of five before it became six. 

“We argued.” You say quietly. The family vacation slips from your mind as your exhausted tears come to your memory. “Um. I had Jack and I was exhausted and we argued. It was barely even an argument.” 

“He still won’t eat?” Harry asks, coming into the bedroom. He was still in his suit from court and you feel angry heat flush through you at how put together he looked. How well rested and up he looked. 

You shake your head silently. Harry seems to not notice your tense jaw as he pushes his way into the closet to find clothes for the night. You turn to look down at Jack laying restlessly in your arms. Tears rush to your eyes as you stand and place Jack in his bassinet and finally get a look at yourself in the mirror hanging next to the closet door. 

You hadn’t showered since Persephone had left earlier the previous day and after running around to get the twins settled with Gemma and taking care of the baby all day you felt tense and gross. 

Harry comes out and smiles kindly as he watches you step towards the ensuite. “Can you watch him for a moment? I need a shower. I feel gross and it’ll help me relax. My nurse said getting tense makes it harder to breastfeed.” 

Harry looks down at his watch. “Something more important?” You ask before he can get a word out. “No. Just- I was supposed to hop on a conference call with Jeff, I’ll reschedule.” Harry tries to change the tone of the conversation, but you’ve already seen red. “Y/N, go shower.” 

“I’m sorry.” You say instead of moving. “I didn’t mean to inconvenience you with your child for half an hour.” You know you don’t mean the harsh words and that you’ll probably regret them all after you’ve taken a break but- “I’m home all day with him, but fuck if I ask you to watch him so I can shower.” 

Harry’s eyes widen at the cold tone. He crosses his arms defensively across his chest as he takes a step back from you, even though he was already several feet away. “I never said I was inconvenienced. You asked a question and I answered honestly. I don’t have a problem spending time with my own child, Y/N.” 

Your turn on your heel and stock into the ensuite and slam the door shut behind you. You hear Jack begin to fuss more and Harry’s whispers as he presumably picks the baby up. There wasn’t a time in the fifteen years you’ve had children that you’ve ever thought Harry didn’t want to spend time with his kids. You still didn’t. But the exhaustion and stress that you felt with Jack was unlike anything you’d felt before and Harry hadn’t seemed to notice. 

“It felt like you weren’t paying attention.” You say quietly. “It felt like you had no idea what was going on.” Dr. Walsh trains her eyes on you as Harry’s eyes flick around trying to figure out what argument you were talking about. 

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. Jack is curled in your arms as he eats and a weight has been lifted off your shoulder. You feel shameful at the words that had slipped out in an attempt to make Harry notice how upset you were. “I know you’re not inconvenienced by our kids.” 

Harry turns his head to look at you. He had been silently typing out emails as you fed Jack, upset but refusing to leave your side. “What’s wrong?” He asks as he slams the laptop shut. 

You want to tell him. How stressed and anxious you felt. How much tougher being with Jack was than any of your other children. How insecure it made you feel. You should tell him.

But. 

“How could I tell you all that and not sound like I’m angry at our child? Not sound like an awful mother?” You choke on the words. 

Harry stares at you with what looks like pity and you turn away. You didn’t want pity. You wanted help. You wanted him to understand. “You don’t sound like a horrible mother. You sound tired.” 

“What stopped you from telling him this?” Dr. Walsh prompts gently as you and Harry fall into silence. Her eyes flicker to Harry as he watches you with the same sad eyes. 

You shrug. “I just wanted him to notice. I wanted to feel like he still noticed me.” You let out a breath. “We love Jack, but Jack wasn’t exactly planned. We weren’t sure if we wanted a fourth and had only just begun talking about it. When I found out I was pregnant and figured out how excited I felt, I knew I wanted to keep him.” You explain to the therapist carefully. “We decided that we wanted him, but he would be our last one.”

You think of the doctors appointments and heavy warnings that a fourth pregnancy could wreck havoc on your body. 

“But I’m not twenty-three anymore and the pregnancy was really tough on me. And Harry knew. So he took care of the kids when I couldn’t and he planned vacations for me before I gave birth and it-” You breath catches. “It felt like you didn’t care anymore once I had him because I wasn’t in danger anymore. But Jack is stubborn and I was struggling.” 

Harry takes in a shaky breath and reaches out to steady your trembling hands. 

It’s a start. You guess. 

-

“I didn’t realize how tough Jack was on you.” Harry says quietly that night. You had been dreading sitting in the awkward silence. 

You shrug. “Babies are tough. Persephone was tough because we were so young. Serena and Oliver were tough because they were twins.” Your baby monitor makes a sound and you glance over to see Jack stretching his arms. 

You sigh and stand up. “Jack was… Jack was tough in a way I wasn’t expecting. Maybe it was because I had four kids all of the sudden or because you started working more. I was exhausted all the time.” 

You leave before he can say anything in response, but you know he’ll follow you to Jack’s room. You push the door open quietly and hear Jack’s soft giggles. 

“Hello, handsome.” You whisper as he looks up at you. “What’s got you awake?” 

You pick him up gently and bring him over to the rocking chair placed in the corner of the room. Harry leans against the door jam. 

You rock back and forth with Jack in your arms and Harry watched with gentle eyes. You look up as Harry begins to speak quietly. “I wish I could take everything back. Just… Redo this past year.” 

You look down at Jack and run a gentle finger over his cheek. “You can’t. You don’t get redos in real life.” 

The room is silent as you rock your baby back to sleep and Harry watches. 

-

We’ll be a fine line.

-

Notes: Title song Fine Line. This is really a filler for the next piece, I needed April to get to May :/

A few things; I have them staying together written. While this has been my plan since I begun writing this part & the next, if it’s something people wanted, I could do two different endings.

Like I said, I wrote this at a low place for me and had always imagined it as some type of closure that I never got from my parents situation or from my ex. Cheaters suck. But, some people do work through it. Some people can’t. That’s the beauty of our autonomy, we decide. I got a lot (and I mean a lot) of messages urging me to be mindful of impressionable people who may read this piece & with that I want to say; Your situation is not this one. Some cheaters will always be cheaters. This is not in anyway trying to convince you that a toxic relationship is okay. Or that cheating is okay. Please remember this is fiction and not meant to do anything other than entertain you! This is a piece I wrote & a piece whose ending I choose. Thank you for reading. I love every single person who read What Kind of Man and thought, I want more of this person’s writing.

(please do not be mean to me, I write for fun & am very emotional thank u)

#harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles writing #my writing #tee answers