#doesn’t matter what I hashtag it with those are the only people who will see it

[sesamestreep]

perhaps nothing better represents the feelings of isolation I’ve been experiencing lately while trying to stay connected or make new connections with people online than logging onto tumblr to find a notification for a new message, feeling approximately 3 seconds of joy and excitement before I open the message and it turns out to be from a pornbot

#that post that’s like ‘I can’t write a poem about this it’s already a poem you get it’ #except it’s this and it’s me going ‘I can’t write a joke or a critique of this the situation clowns itself’ #like….. man I am so tired of this current iteration of the internet #I try to post my photography to insta and it reaches maybe like 10 people who already have me on a close friends list #doesn’t matter what I hashtag it with those are the only people who will see it #Instagram immediately jumps to tell me I should make my content into a reel! or have I considered putting music over a random photo #Just so I can jumpscare everyone if they happen to click the photo #If I really want eyes on it I’ve got to repost it to stories and then it will only get interaction if people click through which they wont #you post stuff here and nobody likes or reblogs anything anyway #as the site becomes more and more unusable to a bigger percentage of people #but don’t worry you will have to block three people name sugar-baby-moon34 per day #all this technology at our disposal and all we’ve done with it is make it so we feel constantly surveilled and judged #without ever really feeling more connected to one another #AND IM TIRED OF IT

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

I blocked 11 accounts today because I logged into tumblr after days and wanted to see what Jimin has been upto and his hashtags were polluted with random Jikook ship stuff. It was so annoying. Some lewser claiming the youngest doesn’t think of JM as the best dancer or handsome but thinks of him as his beloved. I threw up internally and physically had a visceral reaction, ngl. Good lord, does it not make you ashamed to write the other half of your ship isn’t as talented as the group but that’s okay because the maknae loves him? What god level image do you have of JK that you can only appreciate JM because he likes him? “It doesn’t matter if JM isn’t the best dancer coz JK looks at him like he hung the stars”???? Who the fk died made JK the lord of judgements? IDC what his opinion is. I need my guy to get his flowers. Have they ever thought of Park Motherfkn Jimin as an artist? I need them to go extinct. I don’t care for shipping, you do you. But to never acknowledge their artistry is a sickness.

Someone sent me a link to the post, so yeah I saw it.

My opinion's still the same as when he went on and on during a live about Taehyung being the most handsome/beautiful (I don't remember the korean word he used for it) person he's ever seen. And at the time jikookers were trying to find excuses but I said; I know it's normal to think other people are more beautiful than your partner; it can happen, we're not always going to date the most incredible looking person on earth, and that's okay. What is not ok to me is go live to millions of people and say "his best friend is the most good looking person I've ever seen". If you're in a relationship, you can't just say that your partner's best friend takes your breath away like...

Jungkook has never thought Jimin was the best in the group at anything. At least he's never said it and he never will. Once too, they went to that show where they had to write something they wanted to hear from another member and Jungkook wanted to hear "you're a good dancer" from Hoseok. And he wanted to hear from him because he respects Hoseok as a dancer and wanted his approval. So I do think he means it when he says Hoseok is the best dancer to him.

I guess what's annoying about shippers is

1) that Jimin actually talks about Jungkook like he's the best in a lot of stuff. He's talked a lot about looking to him for help in singing, and has even said Jungkook is a better dancer than him even when everyone knows that's not true. Jimin goes as far as including Jungkook in the "visual" line, even though the official narrative is Jin and V are, so he'd be okay if he just said vjin. But Jimin is actually a person with a defined personality that doesn't compromise his morals or opinions for others. So if he thinks Jungkook is good looking as V and Jin, he will just say so. And yet all those things fly over jikookers heads. They'll ignore all that and will tirelessly go back to the one time Jungkook compliments Jimin to make up for all the other times he could've, but didn't.

2) that they can't just acknowledge and accept it. They have to write ten thousand excuses and turn everything into a romance novel to make it seem like yes, Jungkook is saying this or that but secretly he thinks different. Secretly, he thinks the world of Jimin and Jimin only. Secretly, he would never think anyone is better than Jimin.

Just the amount of coping.

As I've said once before too, it's gotten to the point where not only they scramble to find reasons (beyond skinship) to think that they're dating, but also to make Jungkook the kind of boyfriend they think he is. They can't just be like "okay jikook might be dating and Jungkook is kind of a piece of shit for saying this or doing that". No. They have to turn everything around and write stuff like "he hung the stars on the sky" only so Jungkook won't stop being the ideal boyfriend they've made up in their minds.

And that relates to what you say about us not really caring about Jungkook's opinion, but how we have to acknowledge these things anyways because all this discourse does is feed into the idea that Jimin is not as good as someone else. I've written about it before, too; that it really doesn't matter that it's him saying it, but just about giving credit where credit is due. Pjms actually have these conversations about Yoongi and other members as well.

[lokisasylum]

Someone on twitter said that ‘FACE’ brought out the true ugly face of the Music Industry--

But I think that it also brought out the true ugly face of the ARMY fandom.

So much so that from locals, casual listeners, to even the most hardcore Jimin biased OT7s finally realized that everything PJMS have been pointing out FOR YEARS was true all along.

That a great chunk of the fandom simply doesn’t care or downright HATES Jimin without reason and they will go to the most disgusting lengths to keep others from seeing the light as well under the constant harassment/threat/gaslighting of being called a “solo anti”.

They’re STILL doing it today, because somehow someone else failure is Jimin’s fault for some reason (but not the laziness of the ones who talked big and then did absolutely NOTHING to support all members solo projects the same way. And people showing full support for Jimin is considered some type of capital Sin).

And the shippers were the worst part of the deal, because most only cared about maintaining the integrity of their delusional narrative rather than protecting AND supporting both ends of their ship EQUALLY. 

Yoonminions wouldn’t stop bitching and moaning a week before the pre-release of “Set Me Free Pt.2″,  about some one-sided beef against Jimin for not “properly crediting” Yoongi IN A SONG & ALBUM THAT WERE NOT HIS TO BEGIN WITH. And only when Jimin said in an interview that the song was a nod to D2, BUT NOT DIRECTLY RELATED TO IT.  Only then did they finally STFU and started supporting.

Vminies... its time to wake up and smell the coffee, mi cielas, this cannot go on. We cannot continue with the crying-parties & embarrassing hashtags on twitter 24/7. You cannot claim a divorce when there was never a marriage to begin with. Do like Elsa and Let it go~♫

Jikookers... where to start with all of you lol... many of you were CHILL and constantly gave updates on Jimin, achievements, streaming parties and methods, voting, buying, funds, ect.

So yes, THANK YOU for your service & undying support to Team Jimin. 

The other half, however, were downright DISAPPOINTMENT upon disappointment. I swear if I could shove ya’ll in a blender on Max Speed I’m pretty sure that blender would malfunction and we’d all die together in a Nuclear Explosion. Because what do you mean you didn’t even bother listening to the whole album in support of Jimin but you suddenly gave a shit when it was revealed that there was a hidden track called “Letter” (also known as “DEAR. ARMY” as it is registered on KOMCA) where JK just did some backing vocals near the end??

And don’t even get me started  on the ones who were caught dragging other members, knowing this would get Jimin dragged as well. Those are the worse and already reaching a level of delusion I’ve only seen in trashcookers on the bird app.

But you know what tho? That’s okay, ‘cause outside of stan twitter, outside of tumblr, FB, IG, ect... None of that shit matters, Jimin's still loved, still winning, Those “other fandoms” that always shaded him got a rude awakening recently, and those individuals that always tried to discredit his achievements ALSO got a rude awakening themselves. And that’s on Karma.

So remember: “Everyone wants to see you doing good, but not better than them.“

#FACE #Face by Jimin #it was called face reveal for a reason #Jimin face #jimin #park jimin #bts #bts jimin #PJM #jimin solo album #bts solo careers

[pocchi-poket]

Spoilers for Nimona movie (and comic)

I finally got around to watching Nimona (forgive me for taking two weeks, it’s exam season in Italy) and when I tell you I broke down crying when I saw the Nimona “memorial wall”. The contrast with the ending of the comic, where Ballister is the only one who doesn’t see Nimona as a monster, while in the movie everyone sees her as a hero and there is an entire wall with “We love Nimona” plastered on it just, got to me. 

And, since some drawings were actually made in the style of the comic, to me it also felt like those were messages from all the people who read Nimona through the years who were thanking “her” for making them feel less alone. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, idk, I’m really emotional rn. 

Rather than filling the hashtags with my thoughts I guess I’ll just write a mini review:

They did many changes from the original comic, indeed, but it’s fine. In the end they’re two different things and they’re both GREAT. This movie is the proof that adaptations can be different because, if they’re well made, we can get not one but two masterpieces. The humor wasn’t always my thing, but it’s fine: it’s a matter of taste after all. Ballister and Ambrosius are different from their comic counterparts, but I loved them nonetheless. And, of course, my fave shapeshifter was everything I could wish for and more (yes, this is partly a joke on the fact Nimona’s a shapeshifter).

What really surprised me is that they managed to cover many things, even with depth, and the movie never felt rushed, which is something I can’t say for most movies I saw lately. And yeah, the trans/queer metaphor was really more blatant in this one, but I found it masterfully done, and maybe it should, for once, be blatant.

I also want to spend two words on the animation because, tbh, in the trailers I didn’t like it at all: things and characters felt a bit made of rubber. But I actually loved it watching the movie??? Idk why, maybe on a big screen (rather than my phone, where I watched the trailers) you can actually see the details, lol (and overall it was really fluid and well made). The 2d animations sequences were also beautiful. Of course, it’s no Spiderverse, but I’m pretty sure the budget for these two movies is vastly different. 

Also, love how in the credits we can see that the monopoly (who, for those who might not know, is THE game about how capitalism sucks) rip off is called “World Domination”. I love a good ol’ capitalism critic.

Anyway, thanks to ND Stevenson, Annapurna and all the people who worked on this masterpiece (and I guess Netflix too gets some thanks). Hoping this movie is the first of many of its genre.

Edit: forgot to mention my actually only qualm, which is about the italian version of the movie, where they translated Goldenloin's name roughly as "Goldenlimbs" or "Goldenedges". Cowards

#nimona #nimona movie #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona comic #nd stevenson #annapurna pictures #animation #animated movies #please ignore that the mini review is basically a full fledged one

[gallavichthings]

Gallavich Week 2022

Hello, everyone! It’s that time of the year again! Are you all ready for Gallavich Week 2022? I’m so excited for this one! We’re doing things a bit differently this year, as you might have noticed. More details about the prompts as well as full guidelines after the Read More. Quick reminder that all kinds of work are welcome, as long as they are original. Please read the guidelines before posting.

DAYS AND PROMPTS

Day 1 (June 12) - Theme based (choose 1): Celebration (birthdays, anniversaries, festivals, holidays, random celebrations, anything goes) Trials and Tribulations (problems, big or small, it doesn’t matter; may be between them or something they face together) Day 2 (June 13) - Quote based (choose 1 - anything loosely based in one of these quotes goes): “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” - Rita Rudner Day 3 (June 14) - Painting based (choose 1 - again, anything loosely based in one of these paintings is enough; may be the general atmosphere of it, the situation in it or even them actually interacting with it somehow):

Stag at Sharkey’s (George Bellows)

Nighthawks (Edward Hopper)

  Day 4 (June 15) - Album based (choose 1 - it can be based in the album atmosphere, Ian and Mickey actually interacting with the album or one of the songs, or based on a piece of lyrics from one of the songs) Rumours (Fleetwood Mac) Born This Way (Lady Gaga) Day 5 (June 16) - Film based (choose 1 - again, feel free to use your imagination and do anything from vaguely inspired by to actual crossover): Love, Actually Fast & Furious Day 6 (June 17) - Based on Gallavich fanwork  Here’s your chance to redo one of your old works or to make something inspired by somebody else’s work - just remember to ASK FOR PERMISSION first. If the person says no, if you can’t find the person to ask or if you don’t know who made the original, DON’T DO IT. Also, you have to CREDIT the original when posting.  Day 7 (June 18) - Free Day  Got a fic or fanart or whatever that you’re making and want to post, but don’t think would fit with the other days? Post it here! It’s also a chance to do whatever you want if none of the other prompts appeal to you. Don’t know what to do? Try the Writing Prompt Generator and the Art Prompt Generator.

CREATING AND POSTING GUIDELINES

How do I participate?

You don’t have to subscribe to anything or announce what you’re doing, you just have to post your work on the appropriate day and tag me using @gallavichthings. It’s important that you tag me properly so that I can be sure to see your post and reblog it. For those days with more than one prompt option, please make it clear which one you’ve chosen.

What types of works are accepted?

Any kind of original fan work is accepted, including but not limited to: fanart, fanfiction (no minimum words required), graphics, gifs and gifsets, videos, and fanmixes.

When can I start posting?

I’ll always make one initial post for each day, at 12am GMT (check here to see when that is in your time zone). After that, post away!

Can I still participate even if I don’t have a Tumblr account?

Absolutely! Just submit something here (http://gallavichthings.tumblr.com/submit).

Can I post on Twitter or Instagram?

You can post anywhere you want! On Twitter and IG, we encourage you to use the hashtag #GW2022 and I’ll RT you. You can also mention @gallavichthings if you want. I do not have an IG account though, sorry, but you can post there and send me a link for visibility. That being said, we do encourage you to post here as well, so it can be seen by more people (all gallavichthings reblogs get cross-posted to Twitter automatically anyway).

Can I post something that I’ve already posted before?

No, sorry. The works should have been created specifically for GW. You can, however, create a sequel or a different version of a previous work.

Can I post something that is not in English?

Of course. Just make sure that it is original, or that you have the original author’s permission (and, in that case, link to the original too).

Can I make R-rated works?

Yes, just please give any necessary warnings and tell us the rating at the very beginning of the post. If the post is visual (like a fanart or a gifset), it would be nice for you to also tag it accordingly. It's not mandatory, but if possible put it under a Read More here on Tumblr and under a spoilers mark (so it's not instantly visible) on Twitter. Please remember that Tumblr now has stricter rules regarding that type of content, so if the post is really NSFW I’d suggest hosting it somewhere else and just posting a link to it, maybe along with a safe version of it.

Can I post something that’s AU?

Sure thing! Tag it accordingly though, both for those who want to avoid it and for those who'd like to find it.

Can I post supernatural works, mpreg, or genderbends?

Yes! But if it’s a fic, please include it in the warnings.

Can I post more than one work?

Definitely! The more, the merrier. You can post as many works as you want, on as many days as you want, be it one post per day or ten on the same day. Anything goes!

Can I post on more than one day? Do I have to make something for each day?

Again, the more, the merrier! You can post on only one or all days if you wish!

Can I make one work that fits two or more themes?

Sure thing. I only ask that you post it on the day of the last theme included. For example, if you are posting a work that includes the theme from Day 1 and the theme from Day 4, post it on day 4 (just make sure to tell me that it includes both).

Can I write a multi-chaptered fanfiction?

Yes, and you don’t have to post everything either. When you do, just be sure to include either a masterpost, or the links to the previous chapters in the beginning.

Can I include other characters/pairings in my work?

Yes, as long as Gallavich is still the focus.

What if I can’t finish on time?

The Gallavich fandom is ALWAYS happy to see new fan material, so just post it when you’re done and tag me, ok? The same goes for people who can’t finish a work on the assigned theme day; you can still post it on a different day during GW, just make it clear which day it was made for.

Is there a contest?

No. It was an idea once, but most people didn’t want it, and felt a bit intimidated by it.

#Gallavich #Ian x Mickey #Shameless US #Shameless #Ian Gallagher #Mickey Milkovich #GW2022 #events #mod post

[dissociativediscourse]

Hello! I made a post reaching out to the plural community for help, and somebody recommended me your blog so, here I am!

Lately I've been considering the possibility that I might be an OSDD system, but I'm not really sure given the fact that I have convinced myself in the past that I had some sort of disorder, when in reality I didn't.

I guess my question is... How can you tell? How do you come to the conclusion that you might be part of a system? How can I tell if I'm sabotaging myself? I'm so confused.

I'll link the post down bellow, you don't have to read it if you don't want to, that's completely okay! I just thought it might help given the fact that I list most of my symptoms in there.

Thank you, have a nice day!

https://www.tumblr.com/just-an-anxious-little-mess/714800517560385536/plural-community-i-need-your-help?source=share

Hey, there! I’m more than honored that I’m being recommended for advice, and I’m happy to help!

So, first and foremost: I can’t diagnose you. And neither can anyone else on Tumblr— or anyone that isn’t a licensed professional who specializes in complex dissociative disorders. That doesn’t mean that we can’t help! It just means that you should really take anything you read (anything that’s not professional advice from a specialist, I mean) with a grain or two of salt.

Also, even with a list of symptoms, there’s still so much more that goes into it. Presentation, when and why these things happen, little details that you may not even notice yourself. Things that you’d have to know someone in real life to truly see and know for sure.

Finally, my case is a little difficult to use as a comparison for situations like these; I was diagnosed when I was a mid-teenager, and had no idea what DID even was. It was a bomb dropped on me. I’ve told the story here a million times, but… It wasn’t a case of self-diagnosis. So… Be warned that my experience with self diagnosis of DID is very limited and mostly in relation to those around me.

With all of that out of the way, let’s get started. I can’t tell you whether or not you have DID/OSDD, but I can give you some helpful pointers that may help.

If you’re questioning these things, one of the best things that you can do is look for a therapist. I have a tag (#therapy advice tag) that is featured on my blog that may help you— if it’s not enough, feel free to message me, because I’m more than happy to offer some pointers depending on your situation. It is imperative that you find someone that actually knows how to treat DID and isn’t just a cocky EMDR therapist or a newbie trauma specialist that’s fresh out of their residency and thinks they know everything. This sounds daunting, and it is an involved process. But it is very possible in many cases!

A good thing to keep in mind is that whether or not you have OSDD/DID, you want help/treatment that works for *you*. Many people think that they just need to self diagnose or get a diagnosis and then… It’s healing time!! Well… That’s not really how it works. Diagnosis is a tool that will probably only matter to your insurance— and the great news is that if someone is qualified to treat you for your dissociative disorder, they’ll put that f44.81 right on your bill! Mental health diagnosis isn’t like it is with medical doctors. It… Honestly doesn’t matter that much as long as your treatment is working.

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t care whether or not you have this disorder. It’s just that the more energy you spend worrying about it, the less energy you’ll have to actually cope with it and get help. And that’s not good!

All this to say that a good goal to set for yourself isn’t “figure out if I have DID/OSDD ASAP and get that hashtag systemlife going!” (Which, I know that isn’t your goal. But that was a fun little sentence, wasn’t it?) — A great goal, though, would be to listen to your mind and your body and begin to work on stabilizing yourself and finding your ability to ground. To extend some feelers and figure out what you need to heal from your traumas. Because while right now it may be scary and confusing, you’re never going to do yourself any harm by grounding and finding your center and learning how to stabilize. You could be experiencing a complex dissociative disorder, and this could be that hard and heavy denial spiral. We’ve all been there. It sucks. You could also be confused… But that’s not bad.

Please remember that whether you have DID/OSDD or not is really and truly of very little importance compared to figuring out how to heal and be present and navigate your life in a way that allows you to live and enjoy living in the present. One mistake that I see very frequently is people ascribing far too much value and importance to whether or not they’re systems rather than whether or not they’re okay.

I know that I’ve gone on tangent after tangent and you’ll have to forgive me— It has been a little bit of a long day. I guess that all of this is to say that worrying about whether you’re correct about your diagnosis isn’t ever going to be helpful for you. Getting help for it is, though. Reach out. Find resources, find a professional, read books on trauma and dissociation. If the help you find doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t. Then it’s time to move on and try a different method! Don’t be discouraged if this happens, as it likely will at some point. It happens to most of us! And it will be okay.

Let me know/know that my DMs/Askbox are always open if you need more specifics or help with the therapy search. ❤️ Please be safe, and have a wonderful night.

#dissociative identity disorder #asks #osddid #did advice #osdd #advice asks #dissociative identity disorder advice #did osdd

[siryouarebeingmocked]

From a Let's Read I'm reading;

Sometimes I feel like Lancaster was put in this story just to say to everyone's faces what I'm thinking while I read this. It's not true, of course. He's also there to fix problems and be a badass, but he also spends a lot of time being the lone voice of reason. And he's willing to actually talk to Brian like an adult, on his terms and just say what needs to be said.

And having done the Black Lives Matter thing, I can confirm that this is true. There is a class of person, over represented on the internet, I think, who will interpret any calls for reform, no matter how moderate or reasonable, or statement that systemic problems exist as an attack on the very foundations of civilization.

Class, I want you to see if you can spot the snuck premise here.Just write it down on a scrap of paper or hold it in your head.

Time's up. Pencils down. did you get it? It's okay if you didn't. Arc probably did, he loves this one.

Supporters of any political cause like to do something some people call the Advertiser Fallacy. You paint your side in the best light, and the opposition in the worst. 

BLM likes to claim it's "just caring about black lives", without actually bothering to look for evidence of racism beyond "a black person died". It doesn't care about black-on-black crime, doesn't even care about black people hurt - physically or otherwise - in its own riots. This forum poster - who claims he's not anti-cop, honest - says he's stood in the lines at BLM protests.

And notice how he describes BLM; "calls for reform" or just a "statement that systemic problems exist".

Notice how the "specific accusations of racist police brutality" part is conveniently left out. He just goes in based on the assumption that BLM is absolutely right. In reality, it's not only bad at finding racism, it's bad at finding police brutality.

Earlier in the thread, he complains about how cops "band together" in the face of those same "calls" or "statements". As if BLM doesn't make accusations and assumptions against entire police departments, or cops in general. BLM, I gather, thinks a cop should be thrown to the wolves the second an angry mob with a hashtag demands it. I think there's people have even harassed and hacked other cops' and their families, just for being from the same precinct.

Are cops perfect? No, they're human. They screw up. They should be held accountable. Has BLM ever proven a single incident was actually because of racist cops...?

No. Not once.

Not in 2016 when this post was made, and not now, 8 years after it started. It's never been able to fulfill the most basic goal of any activist movement; proving there's a problem to begin with.

In fact, a few months after this post, a terrorist would murder five cops guarding a BLM march. And that wasn't the first terror attack.

That happened in NYC, before BLM was a year old.

If I may Marvel for a moment, there's a moment where the authoritarian villain who's about to purge the world of disruptive elements via intercontinental railgun speaks to a guy from India. 

He goes "What if Pakistan was about to march into Mumbai and drag your daughters into a soccer stadium for execution? What if you could stop it, just by pressing a button? Would you do it?" The Indian guy thinks, and goes "not if it was your button."

That's how I feel about BLM. Police brutality and racism are real issues, and BLM is absolutely terrible at addressing them.

#rant #blackLivesMatter

[thetomhiddlestonpage]

I went to a vigil for ClubQ on Wednesday, it was a wonderful and moving experience but has left me with a lot of fears, anger, and lingering thoughts over my queerness and place in the community. I can’t find the right words to explain it but I did write a poem to get some of it out, it ended up being more of a train of thought rambling but I ended up quite liking it.

My city has a gay district

I’ve never had a community so close

Missing my chance behind a closet door

It still feels so far away

On Sunday 5 are dead

Wednesday is the vigil

We’re used to putting them together

My mom is on the phone

As I wait for my Uber

Not wanting to risk having to worry about my car in a possibly aftermath

Just in case

We’re going over exit strategies

Basic first aid

How to stop bleeding

Mostly for her benefit

I’m too numb to be concerned

Eventually I’m out the door

A drag queen plays the violin

We sing together

An activist read slam poetry

The crowd yells in agreement

To statements of basic human decency

That so many refuse to hear

Tomorrow is thanksgiving

I can’t take going back to my empty apartment

I go to a lesbian bar

But don’t tell my mom

Who doesn’t need more worry

I pass through the safety check points

Empty my bag and pull up my sleeves

The guard apologizes

I say I understand

Within minutes of arrival I’m no longer alone

Taken in by those in a community I still feel outside of

Who knew I needed a home

I drink and dance and live

My mom asks if I made it home

I tell her where I am

She says she loves me and I say it back

For the first time in months

I screenshot the text as the DJ changes songs

I hate dancing

But I can

I can move freely and exist openly

Even if just in that moment

Like they tried to

Like they should have been able to

Like so many people don’t want us to be able to

They can’t dance but I can

So I do

I become a living memorial

To thousands I’ve never met

Who fought for me to have this moment

Whose work is still far from done

I wonder if it ever will be finished

I am surrounded by odd girls and twilight lovers

I am home

And I am dancing

But I am still looking over my shoulder at the guard at the door

Would he be enough

For someone else who reaches their own enough tonight

And decides we are problem they must solve

After hours listening to Jonathan Shelley

Giving sermons on how to shoot us

Lined up facing a wall

Of burning books they never read

Of reading hashtags

Crying “over the children”

Who were taken away by bullets

And the words of families and strangers

Who will never truly know who the child are speaking in front of

And politicians playing preacher, doctor, and therapist

But not by queens

They never bother to think of the people in that room

Us as children once

Fighting to survive and accept and be accepted

A battle too many lost

They don’t us

They don’t see our children

Only seeing the future we work towards for the youth

As a direct threat to their supremacy

To fight hate you must expose our differences

But if our differences no longer divide us

How will they fear monger to gain power

What hot takes will they tweet out

What talking points will they spew on cable news and the New York Times

Between thoughts and Prayers

What power is greater than hate

Nothing they have ever felt in their lives

They may have known love

But they lost it along the way

They will never walk into a lesbian bar

Unsure, alone, and lost

Only for strangers to pick them up

Dust them off

Tell them what a lovely sweater they have

And welcome them not as a stranger but as a person who matters

In a community who needs you

They have never danced as an outlet

As a form of anger and resilience

As a community gathering

But they have seen it’s power

And they are scared

So I will dance

For Kelly

For Raymond

For Ashley

For Daniel

For Derrick

And for everyone who lost or never had the chance to feel the music

To feel the unified strength

To feel free and welcomed and loved

Because there is a power stronger than hate

And I found it dancing in a lesbian bar

#club q shooting #lesbian #queer #poetry #free form poetry #mourning #lesbian bar

[themollyzone]

the angle

Ooh the internet is getting REAL WEIRD for me these days. It wasn't until after he died that I learned the reason my paternal grandfather was so into college sports (especially basketball) was because he thought professional sports were rigged, so college ball fandom was the only pure and honorable option. It's taken me a while to get into Conspiracy Grandpa status but it's starting to happen in a very particular way.

Specifically, I find myself seeing the way people craft their internet identities and output and saying: I don't believe it. Recently a young woman's thrift haul went viral on TikTok for being impressive and jealousy-inducing, then broke containment and went viral on Twitter where a lot of people were mad at her for scooping up cheap duds and reselling at a premium.

The original impressiveness of the video was supposed to be about buying a lot of desirable clothing all on the same day from the same store — I watched the video and was like, how are we supposed to believe that unless we watched her shop live? Twitch-streaming a purposeful skulk down the aisles of her local Goodwill?

Maybe she was collecting the best bits from a few different trips and combining them. After all, you don't go viral for buying just a couple cute things. You go viral for extremes: the most, the least, the cutest, the cheapest, the "most insane". I edit videos for a living and you have basically 2ish seconds at the beginning of a video to get peoples' attention so you can promote whatever it is you need to promote (in that thrifter's case, her cornucopian Depop shop). Your chosen thesis statement better be Entertaining.

Now there's a woman who has gone viral for being a tradwife, breasting boobily around her house and making terrible-looking home-baked bread for her alleged husband. The whole thing is sooo cosplay, and everyone's getting so upset about her content that they are forgetting she is not a housewife at all — she is a content creator. If you look at her Instagram from before she picked this particular Shein Marilyn Monroe Don't Worry Darling-style personal brand, she was trying to be a fitness influencer, posting about gains and doing that thing where you place a barbell over your hips and thrust vigorously.

The current internet is built for being reactive to the smallest and most impactful bit of information available. It is why people freak out about tweeted headlines without reading the full article, and why that account Pop Crave loves taking celebrity quotes out of context and riling up bloodthirsty fanbases for engagement, and why you can see one video of a "tradwife" looking like a Mad Men extras casting reject and don't bother looking back in her post history to see her recent-past self, striving in contemporary spandex and using hashtags like #fitfam.

That Natalie Portman movie Vox Lux was terrible but it had a silly line in it that I loved, where Nat's deranged Staten Island pop star character talks about personal branding for artists: "“It doesn’t matter anymore if you’re Michelangelo, or if you’re Mikey and Angelo from New Brighton. All that matters is that you have an angle." Internet fame is the carrot dangling on the stick, and to catch the fame, you need the angle, and you edit what you need to edit in order to hone your particular angle. In a sea of thrifters, you must get the most "insane" haul. In a sea of identical blonde fitness influencers, you must find a path of lesser resistance. Sweating to the oldies, indeed!!

Can you be mad at these people? I would say mostly I am impressed. I am excited to see in particular which sponsors the tradwife will secure in order to fund her future endeavors, because I do not believe her supposed single-income household will provide the financial backing she will need once she reaches higher levels of internet fame/infamy and wants a lifestyle to match. After all, the main brands who do influencer marketing are generally those who cater to girlbosses, not tradwives — subscription meal kits for homemade flavors on a time budget, blue light-blocking glasses for long days spent content creating on the computer, online therapy for the anxiety caused by capitalism.

That's the last question you need to answer when you are making content for free on the internet - where will the money eventually come from?

I just texted my dad to confirm my grandpa's rigged pro sports beliefs and he said yes, that was his theory — "Believe he used the term 'scripted.'" Keep your third eye open people!!! But wear third eye sunglasses to minimize UV exposure.

#tradwife #internet #nonsense

[nazumichi]

[Image ID: A Tumblr hashtag reading “#there’s definitely other things i’m missing but !!!” /End ID]

I gotcha!

Peter and Raine:

A) Make it a priority to look out for the “little guy” because they both know what it feels like to be the unimpressive or unimportant one.

A1) The anonymity is also kind of a blessing because nobody expects the bard with stage fright to be leading a rebellion, just like no one expects the down-on-his-luck kid from Queens to be one of the greatest heroes of his generation

A2) They also put what they need last because they both think “With great power comes great responsibility” means “It is your responsibility to keep everyone on earth safe”

B) Don’t like being alone but push the people they care about away because it doesn’t matter if those people end up hating them; at least those people are still alive.

B1) “Why do they work in a team then?” Because they’ve both determined beforehand that they’re going to be the one to make the sacrifice play; if it comes down to their life or the world, they’re choosing the world 10 times out of 10

B2) They also very quickly learn that those same people aren’t giving up on them — that lesson does take a long time to stick though.

C) Are inventors! Prodigies! And definitely suffering from Gifted Kid Burnout a little bit

D) Work for a boss who hates them, both indirectly and somewhat directly

E) Are both in love with a redhead to the point where everyone can see it. Good luck getting them to actually do anything about it, though

F) Feel more confident when they wear a mask because “it’s not ME doing these things, it’s [insert Hero name here]”

G) Don’t really know how to give up.

Also, headcanoning that Eda figures out that Raine is Spidey and is subtly dropping hints that she knows (repeating phrases to both Raine and Spidey, being abnormally chill when Raine ends up missing a get-together, sending fake tips out to Belos / Jameson just to get him off their back) and Raine just winds up thinking that Eda’s only interested in Spidey, and “what’s she gonna do when she finds out it’s me under there?”

WAIT THIS IS SO….. YEAH

especially point F and ur final paragraph, that part i like very much so. the shared confidence that comes with “there’s no way they can no it’s me” is so. very interesting to me, it all is, pspspsps spidey raine au

#ask #finn tag #aus that water my crops and clear my skin #similarity city oh au we’re really in it now

[handsomeawkward14r14i]

WARNING : Religion / MentalHealth /Philosophy Skip all Text in ORANGE to avoid .

Been a While since I’ve posted a Blog , it feels like I’m talking to a void yet again. Guess that’s what I get for having to start my channel all over and failing to use Hashtags the “responsible way.”

Welcome to my Tumblr!

I’ve only had it for a year ….and the only thing I ever knew about it before I took the plunge was that Ask Pinkamena came from it and so did allot of early 2000’s EDs ,that it was Chaotic, and that it would be a good mental break from mindless TikTok scrolling That last one , my friend getting it and the start of the end of my High school Senior year led me to making a Lies For the Liars / JTHM/Invader Zim / Momster Energy /Emo themed Tumblr.

Moving Forward from that ; idk what will become of it , It might take a turn for the worse , it might take a turn for the better , or just whatever I end up Hyper fixating on ( which happens to be more religious things at the moment. Contrary to my SpaceHey page Start of April 2024 is probably the best I’ve ever been. Religious or not it’s nice to have something to fall back on when you can’t take on life for yourself. I don’t condone ignorance but worrying about everything and getting nothing done is very different from Trusting in someone you can’t see and seeing answers show up to your problems. So much better than letting them slowly kill you.

If I read that and didn’t have any idea about Christianity or was struggling with sin and or was stuck in the sin cycle constantly hating myself or thinking that God didn’t care enough to help . I’d be confused and I’d think you were one of those lucky people and that something was wrong with me . Or I’d think you were a miserable boring no life brainwashed loco .Or I’d disagree out of religious trama or discrimination against sexuality or gender or just a completely different set of beliefs. All respect! I feel you and I don’t blame you for your opinion I’ve had plenty of doubts over the last two and a half years and experienced slight judgment from the people who claim to “love everyone.”

Anyone who wants to hear let them, anyone who doesn’t it’s perfectly understandable and I hope you love and take care of yourself. <3

so let me break it down. In Christianity you believe a man named Jesus was sent from Heaven to die for your sins ( look up some videos on it I’m not great at explaining.) , Gods only son. He was born by a woman who had never had smex with her husband and once he was older he began to teach people in his Town/City /ect. about his Father and About how to love each other . HE WAS Crucified , Dead , and buried After Jesus died he rose on the third day. April 30th today btw !!!

If you’ve been a Christian for a while and either struggled to do everything right . Or are an older Christian, are filled with the Holy Spirit but feel like you sin too much or aren’t fit for the job . Stop for a moment. Stop that thought process God doesn’t hate you for some stupid Sin you keep doing over and over yes , even if you’ve repented repeatedly . It’s not your job to fix it yourself and it’s tricky to figure out especially when you think you’ve given it to God but your still trying to figure out how your going to dig yourself out of the mess you’ve made. It’s simple, repent , pray , fix your eyes on God( focus simply focus on him , watch videos for all I care on things your curious about that relate to anything in the Bible it doesn’t matter.) and ask him what he wants you to do for the day or how he’s going to fix your problem for you. like your life depends on it. And when the devil starts talking Rebuke and Resist. If you have crystals or idols in your house get rid of them if you have placed power on them . Crystals and statues aren’t inherently bad but can be when you place belief or power on them , if you have Sleep paralysis Anoint your bedroom and or home spiritual attacks are real and they hindered my growth for longer then what i would have liked them to . They also worsened my mental health and made me believe I was the problem , that something in me was off , that i would never be able to do anything or get anything done , that I would never fulfill my potential, that I was stuck , I was too self conscious to take myself seriously, but to pessimistic to not feel self conscious when I wasn’t serious. It was too much of everything and too little of what i needed. Not to mention I craved the pain I craved the uncomfortable feelings because I’d gotten used to them and they were predictable . ( wow , how emo of me .)

Sometimes it’s hard to step away from the past

Sometimes it’s impossible to forget

Sometimes that shit seeps into your everyday life , friendships , relationships , religion. It ruins everything and forces you to be too involved or too detached. Mental health is real and when you’re already struggling like that Demonic Oppression happens a little too often especially when you are open minded , or accidentally or purposely open the door to it . Christians with the Holy Spirit , they see the light in you they’ll do whatever it takes to dim it …and it’s not like some funky little spirit that likes to mess around and see if they can make you feel sad or mad and or trick you into doing drugs . No it’s all meticulously planned …..like a subscription to a Channel…only personalized ….your a walking target , but also a walking embodiment of hope to those who no longer have it .

If you’re beautiful your either preserved, mocked or killed

God is out to protect and provide for you

Satan …well he wants to kill you that doesn’t always mean he can.

The innocent bystanders “ who may be complete jerks.” Are the ones who you need to show love to but remember you can’t love others until trying to love yourself ….until you quit hurting yourself ).

One more word of advice!

Live like you TRULY DIE ! TOMORROW!

the world will end tomorrow or by the end of the week how do you live during that time . Do you become a Nihilist ? Do you remain the same ? Do you enjoy every minute thing , take in every detail , make it a point to talk to the people around you , take a break from the phone and go watch the sunset, hear the crickets or go touch some grass for once ! it’s up to you but enjoying the small things , even the things that are mundane and boring helps tremendously. Granted if you don’t feel a sense of urgency you probably will read this and think nothing . But hypothetically if I could promise you that you would die tomorrow, what would you do . Get closer to God , Break out your favorite CDs to listen to one last time , Go on a walk and reflect , make amends . Spend every day like it’s the end !

If I can I will keep Posting Random Thoughts, Comic Strips , whatever comes to me . but don’t expect my page to loose its “abnormal atracting glisten”….( the fuk ….? I mean..)

Weird Sparkle.

Good to be back! Happy Easter you guys !

#christian struggles #mental health

[creedslove]

exactly what I think!! I mean no matters which side he is on, his fans on the other side will turn against him anyway and since he’s become the greatest celebrity this year he and his managers can’t let it happen to him. And yeah at the end of the day the only thing he can do is posting something that doesn’t stop what’s happening so what’s the point of all the hashtags and comments of people angry because he is staying silent? And of course what you said is the reason why. As a celebrity he has many contracts and he’s not “on his own”, he has to talk with seconds before doing literally anything so he’s absolutely not to blame! That’s why I thought this might be (one of) the reason why he looks down in those photos, seeing all that hate on the internet towards him for something that he can’t even control might be getting to him real bad

Exactly! I don't get why people pretend not to know that bigger celebrities have a very strict PR relationship with the media and most of what they do isn't actually what they want or what they agree to, and eventually they have to do it in order to keep their career in check...

So why do people get so delusional when it comes to Pedro? Why do they think he can simply shrug and do whatever he wants and turn his back on his management team, his contracts and everything?

Idk it sounds like people want Pedro to be this human doll where hes gotta be nice and awesome all the time and he's gotta be funny and political and he's gonna be awesome and kind and he's gotta be hot and sweet and he's gotta be single so he doesn't spoil their fanfic dreams, you know what I mean? As I said, he is a celebrity he isn't a politician who would actually have any kind of power to change the situation, if you want to show support do it, but don't turn the fact Pedro hasn't made an instagram post into a real problem because it isn't lmaof

#ask #answered

[aywelife4go]

So.. i got sick of my IG account

It has been a while since i got some likes from somebody and the only ppl who give me those are my friends. And even that’s getting fewer.

I tried to come up with a reason.

1. Is it bc of lack of communication?

2. Is my drawing not a trend?

3. Is my drawing sucks?

[1] I don’t use my drawing account for communication bc i communicate with people on my daily life account and it feels so awkward when i try to write something down. Especially writing ‘long’. It’s like i wrote something on my diary in the midnight and feels so cringy when i look it again after i wake up. I don’t prefer writing down for that reason. And the main thing is that my drawing account ended up having only viewers that they know me in offline. I’m afraid of my problems or thoughts being disclosed to known people. Like.. you know. It might be heterogeneous to them that a gal that looked relaxed and humorous actually is having a rotten mind af. But this one looks pretty friendly to write and since no one watches, i might be able to write some freely.

[2] When i looked around to my friends’ drawing accounts, they seems to draw something aesthetic. Like going to karaoke, taking a selfie,etc. They also draw characters from anime too. Anyway, the point is that they draw something that people (especially in my age 16) like. They sometimes draw what kids ask them to draw as well. They get a lot of comments of their drawing beloved or even get some offer for joining drawing club. That might be bc they are good at communicating with their friends and know what they want. That’s their talent and what i envy for. I love my arts so bad, but when I imagine my friends looking at my drawing,,,,nah,,I mean my friends in overall are so cute and positive. And of course I always feel so thankful to my viewers too but i..i actually wanna get some comments.. i sometimes confused whether my viewers are clicking like bc they really like my post or just clicking bc they are my followers or friends. Mostly those might be latter, but i wish they at least looked at my post for seconds and think that’s pretty nice.

[3] I can be sure about this. I draw well than any other people around me. I know the shading best, lighting best, and I make angle the best. To see this objectively, i have more techniques than any other kids and i have an experience of winning in poster design contest held in school. (Sounds petty, but it was quite a big one that my design has been made into a banner!!) But the thing is that I was trying to figure out in youtube one day why my account doesn’t grow up, they only said “hashtags don’t matter. Contents are important. Try to improve your contents then your account will grow up.” < does that mean my drawing sucks..? is it not enough to get attention yet?? All i wanted was just getting a few likes from strangers! Even just 10 likes! But yeah,, that would mean more than that.. I could just draw what people like. And follow the trend. But I can’t lie myself that my style is this creepy deepy one and it’s my identity. It’s my brand. I dk how to get rid of this one but they also say that post things frequently is the best. Even that i can’t do that! I’m a highschool student and have to focus on preparing for university. That’s the saddest thing about getting older.

If you’re reading until from here, i guess you might have a bit of impression on this and I politely ask you to be my first fan

It might had been little hard to read cuz i’m not living in English culture. But why am I writing in English? That’s because i feel awkward too when i write something in main language..

And you know what? I’m writing this shit at 5am! I might throw this shit out if i feel cringy again after i woke up. Whatever i wish you guys have a nice day and there’s a reels of this one so please check that out too :)

P.S. why i can’t copy and paste in here? I was trying ro put URL for the reels but i can’t

you can see my IG account on my bio and if you’re really interested to type my account yourself just to look around it i’ll be so touched..🫶

#digital art #horror drawing #current mood #apocalypse #fuck my life #artist problems

[my-following-cart]

Follower growth on Instagram and how to succeed

Follower growth on Instagram and how to succeed profile without followers is incomplete#2 Content is key Hashtags are key4 # Use labels to attract attention5# Make mentions in all your comments and posts6# Take advantage of geolocation7# Follow to be followed8# To generate a community you have to interact9# The same filter for the entire account10# Highlight your stories

In previous articles we have discussed how audiovisual social networks influence society and one of the most powerful networks today is Instagram . There are so many users on Instagram that few manage to be truly visible and influential. There are currently around 1,478 million active Instagram users a month, a number that continues to grow. In light of this paradigm, getting followers and visibility is quite difficult. We will explain below how you can get more Instagram followers and engagement.

Instagram followers: a strategic vision

Your goal? Your style? Where do you want to go? You need to answer these questions before you start. If you follow an "as it comes, we'll see" strategy, you won't get any good results. Identify what you want to achieve and how you plan to accomplish it.

Choose a theme for your profile's publications. This does not mean that you cannot vary the content, it will only make you clearer on your type of publications and, consequently, you will reach the public who will identify with you and, therefore, you will get better interaction in your publications.

How to get the most out of publications

Using Instagram, you can upload photos and videos.

Whenever you upload a photo on Instagram, it is advisable to provide a comment, indicate the location or the place where the photo was taken, and tag the people who are with you.

Videos are also a good format. You can also upload them as reels. This format gives you the ability to give more information about the moment. You can edit it with apps to keep it short and sweet.

Live Instagram and Instagram Stories posts can be combined with photos and videos and are added to the post as they are uploaded. Publications are deleted after 24 hours. A limitation I see is that people can comment, but it's private. Fortunately, they can "like" you during that time.

You can use the Instagram Shopping function to add the price of your product to the photographs. This tool is designed specifically for companies, especially for stores.

Instagram followers tricks

Take note of these tips to get Instagram followers:

It is important to have a lot of followers, even if size doesn't matter. Many brands will contact you based on your number of followers. People will often tell you to buy followers, "total for a little money you can start with a large number," but I am against this, especially since if you want to deliver reports to measure the effectiveness of your actions, the numbers will be ghosts, nothing real.

There's everything on Instagram, good quality content and trashy content. There's something for everyone, but it doesn't take much time and effort to make quality content. This same platform has filters and editing options so you can do something attractive. External applications, such as filters, music, and effects, can be used to enhance content.

Use the hashtags #. You can include general TO buy uk instagram likes or more specific words, for example if you are making a gourmet dish in Barcelona you can use hashtags like #España #Barcelona #Cocina, but also #CocinaMediterranea #CocinaGoutnet #ChefdeBarcelona. It will help you to be visible in broader publications but also in those in which people have a specific interest, such as cooking.

Although it is true that the labels were born to include the people who appear in the photo, it has also become a common practice to attract the attention of some users. You can tag the profiles you want and they will receive a notification, which will make them come to look at the photo; You will also appear in the photo section where you appear on their profile.

If you want brands to know you or want to increase your interaction, make @ mentions, in this way they will receive a notification and they will surely enter to see your publication.

Using the location has its advantages and disadvantages, it can locate you in the place if you share the photo at the same time that you are doing it, so your privacy is exposed . Especially for young people it can be a problem when it comes to security. But in terms of visibility it helps your publication to be located in the searches of the place so you can reach many more people.

Not everyone agrees with this practice but I can tell you that it works, but you do have to keep in mind that only 30-40% of the people you follow are the ones who will follow you later. Many things influence this, the quality of your publications, the topics or types of photos you share... In short, they have to feel identified with you so that they feel motivated.

When I talk about interacting, it's not just about replying to comments on your posts, it's about giving value to other people's posts; so it is convenient that if you get a profile that you want to follow you or that you want your community to know about you, make comments on their posts or "like" them. The more you interact with other users, the more your visibility will grow on this network.

It is advisable to always use the same filter and above all not to abuse them, since this can spoil the aesthetics of our photos. A mix of different filters doesn't look good on a profile where a photo with a 70s filter is next to a black and white one.

Instagram allows you to buy social followers in UK, you can save stories at the top of the profile. Saving them can be a good cover letter , since when someone first accesses an account, "features" can show the user what you like before they get to see your images. You can create cover photos for your highlights that follow the same line to give a more professional look. Use Instagram stories to share more informal and personal content with your followers.

[malleux]

spell [2]. | corpse husband

part one ; part three

-> Pairing: Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

-> Warnings: Hate Comments, Self Doubt, Anxiety, Cursing

-> A/N: thank you for 1k notes on part one! i’m so glad everyone likes my work. it’s really nice getting this much love after taking a hiatus on my fire emblem writing blog. i hope y’all enjoy it and stay on the lookout for part three!

corpse husband taglist is closed!

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since you joined Sean’s Among Us stream.

While that was your first public appearance, you had joined three others after that and already you were blowing up on almost every social media platform you had. The attention was kind of nice, you had to admit, but sometimes the anxiety of becoming a public figure weighed heavily on your shoulders.

During that time, you turned to your friends who were used to such scrutiny: Sean, Felix, and now Corpse, who you’ve been talking to every day for those two weeks.

It was another one of those nights where, at 1am, you were on Facetime with said man. His screen was dark, as usual. He hadn’t shown his face yet and you respected that. You didn’t need to see him to talk to him, or be his friend, or develop a slight crush on him. All of which you did.

The call was relatively silent on your end. Corpse was on Facetime with you, yes, but he was also on a call in Discord, once again playing Among Us.

You often wondered if playing that game was all your new friends did anymore.

You stayed quiet, letting Corpse play the game and avoiding his fans finding out about your call. You had college work to finish anyways, so the silence was rather helpful.

“We should ask Y/N if she wants to play. I wanna meet her.” Sykkuno’s voice rang out from the Discord call. He was right- you’d never met him. He and Corpse seemed extremely close, though, so you’d love to talk to him. A friend of your crush friend was a friend of yours.

“She’s busy tonight.” Corpse responded.

“Yeah, she’s got an exam coming up- wait, how do you know?” Sean joined in, questioning Corpse.

“Uh, I mean we’re on Facetime right now, I guess.” Your heart sped up- now his fans knew. “She’s studying. We’re just hanging out.”

“Didn’t you guys ‘hang out’ last night as well? It seems like you’re trying to take my best friend away from me.” Sean joked back.

“I mean, I definitely am.”

Your breath caught in your throat. What was that supposed to mean? Sean was obviously kidding, but the tone in Corpse’s voice wasn’t the one he used when he was joking as well.

Felix suddenly butted in. “Ooooh, I think Corpse-y has a little crush.”

“And if I do?”

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

꧁꧂

Three weeks, now, that you’ve been talking to Corpse daily.

One week since Corpse’s crush comment and one week that you’ve endured countless mentions and tags on Instagram and Twitter, constantly talking about #CorpseY/N.

You didn’t really mind the shipping, often losing yourself in daydreams about driving those two hours down from your apartment in Los Angeles down to San Diego and running into his arms. It didn’t help when he mentioned wanting you to come visit one day.

You just worried about how Corpse felt about them. He was still relatively new to blowing up on the internet as well, his fame suddenly skyrocketing in the past few months, so you weren’t sure if he was comfortable with them. You didn’t want to bring it up, either, fearing that the discussion would make things awkward between the two of you.

For now, you were rather content with just scrolling through the #CorpseY/N hashtag, looking at the pictures and nice things people had to say about you both.

“they’re so cute when they talk to each other, you can just tell Corpse meant it when he said he was trying to steal Y/N away.”

“#CorpseY/N is my new favorite thing. Everyone shut up this is all I’ll be talking about from now on.”

“God why can’t they just be together already? #CorpseY/N”

Everyone was so supportive and sweet, it almost made you feel like you already were Corpse’s girlfriend. Although your heart hurt when you were brought back to reality, you couldn’t help but love the comments that everyone left. They were amazing.

Until they weren’t.

There are always two sides of the same coin. Along from the supporters and their loving actions, there were also those who seethed at the idea of you and Corpse.

They scrutinized everything about you to the point that you made your Instagram account- already with 30k followers- private.

Haters talked about you. Your body, your personality, how you weren’t worthy to even talk to Corpse and the rest of the Youtubers, and so much more. You’ve spent many nights with your Facetime mic muted so that Corpse couldn’t hear the small sobs coming from you.

These thoughts were almost always on the back of your mind, but you were sometimes able to push them away.

Like now- as you focused on your exam. Well, tried to focus. There comes to be a time where one can only hear so many negative things about themselves before they can’t ignore it anymore.

But alas, you tried your hardest and finished your exam, before walking out of the room and pulling out your phone. Now, you had a break before your new classes started and you’ve never been more relieved. You pulled up a certain contact and clicked on the message icon, beginning to type.

you:

i’m finished! up next, a break.

corpse:

I hope you did well. How long is your break?

you:

two weeks!

corpse:

Come spend it in San Diego

You stopped in your tracks, taken aback by the offer. You really didn’t think that he’d invite you over, but you weren’t about to complain. Instead, you sent back an ‘I’ll pack tonight :)’ and rushed home to do just that.

Corpse called you as you packed, just like he calls every night. You were used to the routine now, often falling asleep around 3am as he stays on the phone, doing whatever he does with his ruined sleep schedule until you wake up and say good morning.

Tonight, however, you were too jittery to sleep. You stayed up all night with Corpse, talking about anything and everything, like usual.

What wasn’t usual, though, was how distracted he sounded. It made you nervous- was he having second thoughts about inviting you over? Was something wrong?

Your thoughts nearly overwhelmed you, forcing you to say something.

“Are you okay, Corpse?” You tried to hide the small shake in your voice.

“Hm? Uh, yeah, yeah, everything’s good. Why?”

“It doesn’t sound like it. What’s going on? You’re acting off.”

His side of the phone was silent for a moment, before he let out a sigh. “I’m just thinking about what I’ve got to do before you get here tomorrow. Like, cleaning and stuff.”

“Pshh, that doesn’t matter to me.” You waved your hand, even though he couldn’t see it in the darkness of your room.

“It’s just that, my apartment isn’t… the best. It’s small and there’s only one bedroom and it’s kind of shitty. I just don’t want it to be even more shitty.”

“Corpse, I’m coming there to spend time with you, not your apartment. I don’t care what any of that shit looks like. I’m going to be looking at you and hanging out with you. Not your apartment.” You didn’t mean to go on a tangent of reassurance, but you truly meant all of your words. “Hell, I might not even see the apartment because I already know I won’t be able to look away from you.”

“I- God, give me a minute. That took me off guard.” He laughed. “But thank you. I may not even be able to clean because I’ll be distracted too.”

“By what?”

“You, standing in front of me, in person.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “That’s a fucking dream come true.”

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[pomp-and-circumstance]

Just when I think I can have a little bit of a break without having  t h o u g h t s  I suddenly arrive at an episode that gives me so much to think about and it’s STUPID.

(No it’s not, I love it, it just forces me to organize 60 thoughts immediately and sometimes that’s a chore. You know how it is.)

Episode 108. Here we are at Traveler Con, the Nein feel like they’re at an impasse (I see you setting up Aeor with those dreams to Caduceous, Matthew, you sneaky Hobbitses) and Beau goes to talk to Fjord about Jester, who, after a moment of admitting his feelings, turns it around on Beau. Now, I know everybody and their dog know what bit I’m talking about, but I want to take a moment and continue to praise one Marisha Ray for how she’s done this and how she steps fully into this role. 

Beau is a flirt, Beau enjoys company, she’s going to be who she is and fuck anyone who tells her to act differently. She might not always have the right words to say (or the proper expressions to use with them, lol) but she’s only apologetic when she has to be. She owns her mistakes and doesn’t ignore her gut when it tells her something. That’s what makes her words to Fjord about Yasha so compelling. Beau is not stupid. Connecting the dots is kind of her thing.

Which makes the line “there was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her... that I think I’ve been avoiding” so fucking powerful. Attraction can make us silly, and a crush can make us question things, but when you’ve gone beyond those and there’s something more, it can be very sobering. It’s smart of Marisha here to go back to her words about her crush on Jester and saying what I’d previously thought in a very Beau kind of way (that everyone in the party has to have had a crush on her at some point, because she’s that beacon of unconditional love none of them have had) because there very easily could have been a whole “ok but what about” that Veth would have thrown at her. Marisha nips that in the bud right away by admitting the crush, and that “it transfers in a way” bit is so damn true and feels to me like the best way to relate it back to the audience. You know when you have a crush on someone, but then you realize you have genuine feelings for someone else...?

But now the struggle. She swore off Yasha because Yasha has a lot going on: “She’s, like, mourning her wife. So I can’t be like that asshole who comes in and is like--no one wants to be the rebound, you know?” As someone who has been the rebound in a marriage that very recently ended, man, does it suck. It’s a very valid, very self aware statement from Beau that we’ve not seen before at all. She’s telling us her position in a relationship - not a one night stand, not the things we’ve seen before, but a commitment to someone else - matters to her, and yeah, you can make the argument we know that already based on how she interacts with the rest of the Nein, but the position in a one on one relationship is entirely different, and Beau knows that. She also clearly cares how Yasha sees herself in this, too; if it didn’t matter that much to her, she probably would have tried to seduce Yasha already, but no, Yasha is mourning a dead wife. That’s a boundary she’s going to respect. She’s not cold or selfish. She wants the other person to be invested as well.

Which makes her little “I don’t know, you think Yasha likes me though? You think she’s like--you think there’s like--I mean, when she like--you know” so fucking real and so beyond the Beau we’ve known to this point. What she’s really asking Fjord is “do you think she’s stopped mourning now? Do you think it would be okay for me to go after this?” I just think there’s something incredible about that.

Gonna backpedal a bit here, ‘cause this is a Tumblr that respects one Marisha Ray and I will continue to sing her praises. I love that the deepening of this thing between Beau and Yasha came from her first, and while I think people would wonder if it wouldn’t have been better coming from Ashley first, there are going to be moments where Marisha needs to take the lead in order to help settle Ashley into something she’s not done before. I mean, hell, go back and watch this scene and pay attention to Ashley.

Find the discomfort, I dare you. The delight is radiating off her. I don’t think she stops smiling from the moment Fjord turns it around and asks about Yasha. Imagine if Marisha had played this earlier while she was gone and Ashley missed this. It’s the first time Beau openly admits to feeling something for her, and Ashley gets to experience every facet of that - the flattery of hearing someone praise your character is almost like hearing someone say it about yourself. That is how you help guide someone into something they’ve never done before. “Here is open admission. Let’s take this how you want.”

After that scene is done? Marisha checks in the only way she really can a moment later.

“How was that?”

���That was great. Touched me right here.”

When there is complete trust at the table, you can achieve great things. I’m so happy we get to see these friends play their home game. What a great spoiler to know it gets even better from here.

Also, like, if I’m clogging the beauyasha hashtag or something, please let me know? I’m new to Tumblr and I’m just getting my thoughts out there, and if it’s annoying, I’ll stop doing it. I’m mostly here for the fics and the pics, as my header says, so if people don’t want to read the ramblings of a baby Critter, I totally get it. 

#critical role #critical role spoilers #first watch #s2ep108 #beauyasha #yasha nydoorin #beauregard lionett #marisha ray #ashley johnson #I didn't mean to make this a watch blog #it just kinda happened? #I don't know if these thoughts are worth reading but they're out there I guess