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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 8 months

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By: AAP

Published: May 19, 2011

WHEN Judgment Day comes - which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday - have you thought about what you're going to do with the family dog and cat?

In 26 US states, you could have them rescued and adopted by enterprising atheists who have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind".

The post-Doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture, which one US Christian fundamentalist group has pencilled in for Saturday.

When Judgement Day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.

"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Mr Centre said.

Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.

[ Archive: https://archive.is/aI8Hx ]

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"A fool and his money are soon parted."

No more Xianity and we get their pets? Sign me up.

This is 12 years old, but still hilarious.

#LOL #funny #christianity #judgment day #judgement day #dogs not gods #left behind #the rapture #rapture #Eternal Earth Bound Pets #second coming of jesus christ #religion #religion is a mental illness

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adriles · 2 months

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they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

#book 24 #the conversation between the gods at the beginning there is just this #greatest hits #all i say is vicious war crimes in a vague way #and you all start frothing at the mouth like rabid dogs #a lot of yall get the memo with the blorbo tags but also. seeing quite a few strange pulls #not exactly war crimes but Ok #sometimes normal vicious crimes can just be normal vicious crimes ok guys #can yall stop tagging this as israel u guys r fucking weird….#if u see this and think it is a joke about actual fucking horrific war crimes and ethnic cleansing. u may be fucked up in the head #please be normal #will people stop commenting on this please. none of yall r funny

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ineed-to-sleep · 6 months

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Collection of bg3 sketches I've been nibbling at over the month. teehee

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanart #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #gale dekarios #tav #orin the red #bg3 tav #oc.nawen #I'm soooo normal about these characters like so so normal not obsessed w them at all #still upset u can't sleep w orin tho #you can sleep w mizora but not w her??? I've never been so heartbroken #ALSO I've had to reject gale after astarion confesses his feelings and oh my god #he looked at me with the hugest roundest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen #I still feel bad abt it tbh #the image of him looking at me like that. burned into my mind #sleepyscribble

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cozylittleartblog · 9 months

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@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

#dashboard #staff #tumblr update #comic #art #doodles #costco ceo about the price of a hot dog.png #i refuse to believe this is a real problem that site owners think people have #frankly i refuse to believe people had this issue with deviantart before eclipse #i am sorry you have to put about 15 minutes of effort into understanding a new website. feel better soon #my main blog doesn't have it yet but i logged into here to make this post and. i have it #this is fucking terrible. it would ahve been really really funny for april fools day but not as a permanent change #i hate it a Lot. i hate it so fucking much. oh . my god.#edit - guys i amnot actually sending de*th threats to staff it's the costco hot dog meme

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soldierkitten · 1 month

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anyone still remember this au idea I had? well I didnt (thats why it took so long) I wanted to do something with this au, so here :P

#goodtimeswithscar fanart #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo fanart #mumbo jumbo #grian fanart #grian #pearlescentmoon fanart #pearlescentmoon #tilly the dog #mcyt fanart #my art #Tilly the god au #idk what to call this au so im temp tagging it Tilly the god au bc dog backwards is god and I think that's funny

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ayo-edebiri · 2 months

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MESSI I 96th Annual Academy Awards

#messi #oscars #anatomy of a fall #thank god he's here <3 #not me listening to dogs days are over........

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wombywoo · 2 months

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retired 🩶

#call of duty #cod #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #my art #listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌#johnny is the super active DIY father of the family #simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction #also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness #johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that #the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which #yes they all sleep in the same bed~#I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason...#let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving #god they probably make a banger pot roast....

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lotus-pear · 4 months

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it doesn't matter how babygirl ur fav man is, he will ALWAYS be ten times sexier as a woman

#PLEASE be respectful in the tags for the love of god #drawing the fav is sm fun when they're genderbent like wow now i can be attracted to ANOTHER version of you😍#im so glad all of nakahara chuuya's fans are lesbians this guarantees my post will reach its target audience #i felt very straight drawing this btw. my nose was NOT bleeding. i did NOT constantly hear a ringing noise.#bsd would infinitely be better if the entire cast was made up of women #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #fem chuuya #also no hat im sry i cant draw hats💔#maybe in another post #lotus draws

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galasgamingcorner · 1 year

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Fenrir ‘sneaking up’ to Kratos and Atreus for some pets.

#godofwaredit #gowedit #gowredit #gamingedit #dailygaming #gameplaydaily #god of war #gowr #kratos #atreus #fenrir #mygamegifs #i'm not much of a dog person #but this is just adorable and made me laugh #also coloring helheim scenes is literal hell lol

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puppyeared · 4 months

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these two are so interesting to me

characters belong to @canisalbus

#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying)#actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it #but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo #but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try #so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine #god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos #i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope #what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures #my art #myart #others ocs #vasco #machete #vaschete #furry art #fur #anthro

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toomanymarkers · 2 months

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Just a boy looking at his dog

#accidentally typed 'god' instead of 'dog' the first time because I'm tired but hey! still works #dazai #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd dazai #skk #soukoku #chuuya x dazai #dazai x chuuya #bsd #bungo stray dogs

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 4 months

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https://quranx.com/Hadith/Bukhari/USC-MSA/Volume-4/Book-54/Hadith-448/

Narrated Abu Talha: I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying; "Angels (of Mercy) do not enter a house wherein there is a dog or a picture of a living creature (a human being or an animal).

https://quranx.com/Hadith/Muslim/USC-MSA/Book-24/Hadith-5277/

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: Angels do not accompany the travellers who have with them a dog and a bell.

https://quranx.com/Hadith/Muslim/USC-MSA/Book-24/Hadith-5248/

Maimuna reported that one morning Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) was silent with grief. Maimuna said: Allah's Messenger, I find a change in your mood today. Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Gabriel had promised me that he would meet me tonight, but he did not meet me. By Allah, he never broke his promises, and Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) spent the day in this sad (mood). Then it occurred to him that there had been a puppy under their cot. He commanded and it was turned out. He then took some water in his hand and sprinkled it at that place. When it was evening Gabriel met him and he said to him: you promised me that you would meet me the previous night. He said: Yes, but we do not enter a house in which there is a dog or a picture. Then on that very morning he commanded the killing of the dogs until he announced that the dog kept for the orchards should also be killed, but he spared the dog meant for the protection of extensive fields (or big gardens).

https://quranx.com/Hadith/Bukhari/USC-MSA/Volume-1/Book-9/Hadith-490/

Narrated `Aisha: The things which annul the prayers were mentioned before me. They said, "Prayer is annulled by a dog, a donkey and a woman (if they pass in front of the praying people)." I said, "You have made us (i.e. women) dogs. I saw the Prophet (ﷺ) praying while I used to lie in my bed between him and the Qibla. Whenever I was in need of something, I would slip away. for I disliked to face him."

https://quranx.com/Hadith/Muslim/USC-MSA/Book-10/Hadith-3811/

Abdullah (b. Umar) (Allah be pleased with them) reported: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) ordered the killing of dogs and we would send (men) in Medina and its corners and we did not spare any dog that we did not kill, so much so that we killed the dog that accompanied the wet she-camel belonging to the people of the desert.

#Allah #islam #kaaba #dog #dogs #dogs not gods #blasphemy #religion #reasons islam is false #religion is a mental illness

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katistry · 7 months

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