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megumitski · 3 years

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hello these are the bnha fics i’ve read so far and i just made this to track them for myself. favorites are marked with a 💥! more bakudeku plus tododeku and other ships under the cut.

bakudeku

💥 Bluebird - EtherealBeing (53k)

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact.

However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Let’s Be Alone Together - lalazee (3k)

Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move.

“Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Bell Pepper - ticklishivories (7k)

Midoriya knew they wouldn’t talk about it. He was right. But he never thought it’d happen again.

spilling over every side - failbender (6k)

No good deed goes unpunished, not when there's a crazy lady with a complex and Lust Quirk parading around the city. By now, Katsuki should probably be used to things blowing up in his face.

be loved - bonnia (5k)

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

Leftovers - brichibi (6k)

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

lust-drunk - theboykingofhell (8k)

The one where Bakugou tries not to lose his mind to lust, and Midoriya is the useless gay who does nothing to help that matter at all.

💥 Quiet Rapture - lalazee (261k) - inc.

That A/B/O fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.

💥 A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8k)

Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? - reading_raindrop (8k)

“A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him? “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Katsuki whipped his head towards Izuku with his signature death glare as he stood up from where he picked up the fallen supplies.

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would

💥 take care - Chrome (2k)

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one.

---

“Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

Just Look At Me - Colourcubify (52k) - dnf

Midoriya is completely happy with his life. Nope, not one single regret in his twenty-seven years. He especially doesn't regret running into his old childhood friend/bully after almost ten years, nor does he regret spilling coffee all over his very expensive looking suit. How nice it will be to die with no regrets. ~~~~ AKA the sugar daddy AU I meant to be a one shot, that turned into a full fledged story.

A Nest for the Best - Camellia_Sinensis (1k)

Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.

unforgiving - i_write_emotion (19k)

Deku is hit with a quirk that takes away his ability to forgive, and Bakugou’s world comes crashing down. Quirkless!Deku. Pro-hero!Bakugou.

@ Deku WRONG CHAT - katyastark (16k) - inc.

Deku: THE LENGTHS I WOULD GO TO JUST LICK THE SWEAT OFF HIS ABS hnnnnnghhh

Deku: or! like! It doesn’t even have to be his abs! It could be anywhere else! I’m not picky!

Pinky: excuse me what

ChargeDolt: OMG

Uravity: @Deku WRONG CHAT

I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. - InkspillsNotebook (6k)

Ta-Da!!!! I hope you all enjoy the finished product!!! I'm sorry (not sorry) I broke a lot of you when I first posted this to tumblr!!

Procrastination - capncapk (5k)

But it is still surprising to see his more-than-friend-but-also-lover-he-guesses in his office seeking attention though Izuku already turned him down.

Usually he'll get a text of 'wyd?' followed by a time and place if Izuku responds with a confirmation, and silence if he's busy.

Or slammed into the wall in the agency's shower for a quickie if no one was around, which despite his anxiety, he often acquiesces to.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71k)

The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) - vannral (16k)

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Yes, They’re All Safe - teaandtumblr (5k)

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

💥 all choked up - spicyrabbit (5k)

Bakugou Katsuki had a habit of turning away from the heard. At 16, he does this by coming to terms with wanting, desperately, to see his childhood friend cry.

💥 May I take your order, dipshit? - supercrunch (6k)

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

blooms every hour - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“It’s you, okay?!” Deku screams. “It’s you. And I know you’ll never love me back, so -” Deku wipes his eyes and straightens. “So just leave it.”

-----

Deku has hanahaki, and Katsuki doesn't know how to save him.

all choked up - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“Deku, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Izuku asks Kacchan to help him train blackwhip. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

A Fight To The Death - iknewaman (10k)

Izuku isn’t competitive by nature, but when the blond, cocky asshole from the other table’s team gets involved he suddenly becomes hellbent on winning.

Rival Pub Quiz AU

💥 Like the Moon - osakakitty (15k)

Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.

💥 We Wear Chains on the Weekend - surveycorpsjean (35k)

Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare.

"Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways.

Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

take me out to dinner first - dynamighttiddy (3k)

“Kacchan,” Deku chides. “What’s going on?”

Katsuki takes a deep breath.

He trusts Deku with his life. He can trust him with this, too.

“Have sex with me.”

-----

Katsuki Bakugou is one of the only virgins left in class 3-A - and with graduation just around the corner, he's desperate to change that.

💥 that ultra kind of love - dynamighttiddy (11k)

“So, uh,” Kirishima starts. “Was that your first kiss?” he whispers, almost sheepish. Katsuki’s stomach drops, and he freezes. Memories of green eyes and freckles and soft lips flash behind his eyelids. “Yeah,” he lies easily. “That was my first kiss.”

-----

In which Bakugou pretends Kirishima is his first kiss, amongst other things.

to the moon and back - kewltie (1k)

"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.

💥 Bridges - supercrunch (18k)

Yaomomo sighs. “We’ve got a little bit of a situation, Bakugou. Ashi—uhm, somebody might have accidentally signed you up for that modelling gig.”

Katsuki holds up a hand. "So what you’re telling me here," he says, "is that you told Calvin Klein I would model for them. In my underwear.”

Ashido sinks behind a desk to hide. “Yes.”

(The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart.

So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.)

Crescendo - supercrunch - inc. (4k)

(Izuku's band is on their way to the top of the charts. But the real star, he thinks, is the drummer.)

Guilty Kiss - osakakitty (1k)

He could feel Midoriya's eyes on him. Even though he knew it was wrong, Bakugo still wet his lips in anticipation.

(Canon-verse) A short story about making out in a closet. It's messy, but so is their relationship.

💥 Surfaces - surveycorpsjean (25k)

Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right.

As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Classical conditioning - supercrunch (8k)

(or: how to trick a boy into going out with you.)

Alright. Maybe his idiot friends had a point, Katsuki thinks as he shoulders open the front door. His mother’s in the living room drinking coffee. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and stomps over. “Am I charming?” he demands, blocking the TV.

Mitsuki pats his cheek. “Oh, hon. Not at all.”

💥 Dance Bunny - EllaBesmirched (17k)

Katsuki Bakugou spends most week nights by himself, sitting in a corner at his local strip club and passing time until he feels tired enough to sleep. Work leaves him stressed and the new city he moved to a year ago is just different enough that he can't sleep at night and can't seem to get comfortable no matter where he is.

When he finally changes up his schedule and decides to head to the club on a Saturday night, he is instantly infatuated with a part-time dancer who can do things with his body that Katsuki didn't even know were possible. The dancer calls himself Bunny. By the second lap dance, Katsuki realizes he is in trouble.

but the entrails are the best part! - supercrunch (15k)

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

tododeku

(You Know You’re Really) Cute - ladyhoneydarlinglove (2k)

Kirishima poses the question, who’s the cutest boy in Class 1-A? The answers kind of surprise everyone, especially Midoriya.

Everything Except - Pouler (28k)

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

count your blessings, not your flaws - PitViperOfDoom (7k)

Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

Riddles in the Heart - PitViperOfDoom (19k)

The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there's only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

Late bloomer - Nohaljiachi (10k)

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.

‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

Burn and Breathe - PitViperOfDoom (11k)

Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own.

one string, fit for a bow - furihatachlookie (5k)

There was no magical moment that played a part in Midoriya's realization that he liked Todoroki. The thin red string that greeted him every time he looked down at his hand was an obvious factor, yes, but it wasn't love at first sight either.

It sorta just... happened over time.

fire and feelings - kagshina (8k)

“Uh…” he starts, eyes widening. “Your finger’s on fire.”

Todoroki’s face scrunches together, confused, and then he looks down, noticing the flame. Midoriya watches as shock flashes across Todoroki’s face, and then horror, and then finally settles on embarrassment as he puts out the flame.

“Shit,” Todoroki mumbles, and Midoriya’s lip curves upward.

bakutododeku

💥 Fire in the Mountains - EllaBesmirched (168k)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

The Ballad of Love and Hate - EllaBesmirched (6k)

After eight painfully long years, Katsuki finally has Izuku back. He's determined to keep him this time, and to do that, he knows there are some things he has to say.

(mis)matched - ethydium (12k)

Midoriya doesn't hate the idea of finding one's soulmate, even though he had long since given up on finding his own. And then Bakugou and Todoroki match, and while he's happy for them, his heart breaks from all the unsaid things he feels for them.

Or:

Midoriya pines and suffers his way to his own happy ending.

pillowed by love - ethydium (21k)

As a prank, Uraraka gets Midoriya a body pillow (dakimakura) with the image of Bakugou printed on it. Then another one with Todoroki's picture. Chaos ensues.

other

For who could learn to love a beast? - supercrunch (4k) - bakutodo

Bakugou takes a deep breath and steps out into the living room, eyes automatically adjusting to the change in light. There’s a boy hanging up his coat in the hall. He’s handsome, albeit in an annoying way, hair dyed two colours to match his heterochromia and skin pale and perfect and smooth. He looks expensive. “Bakugou.”

“That’s me,” Bakugou says. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“I’m older than I look.”

(Deku was right, damn him. Pretty boys are Bakugou's type.)

Want it All - surveycorpsjean (29k) - kiribakutododeku

“Hey, so..." Eijirou grins. "Can we ask you guys a question?"

Frankendick and the Great Acid Fiasco - EllaBesmirched (11k) - shiggyxdabi

Dabi had been intending to spend a very nice Saturday getting stoned and plotting murder, thank you very much, but when a trio of UA brats on enough L to kill a Beatle accidentally dose him and two other unsuspecting homicidal maniacs, Dabi has to change his plans a bit. Apparently no else around here knows how to trip balls and fucking enjoy it.

The Twitter - EllaBesmirched (8k) - tododenki

Shouto never really intended for anyone to find his secret Twitter account. He certainly didn't intend for Kaminari to see Shouto's thirst tweets about him. Luckily, Kaminari doesn't seem to mind.

pray you catch me - supercrunch (4k)

Katsuki pushes her shirt up to kiss her stomach. It’s silly, how it makes her heart flutter, how Izuku’s whispered I love you threatens to make her cry all over again. They’re unwrapping her from her clothes. They won’t let her hide, she thinks numbly. Won’t let her curl in on herself like she’s something dirty, Katsuki’s hands tugging off her underwear so she’s naked and exposed between them. “I,” she says breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m just being dumb.”

Izuku shushes her. Another tear trickles down her cheek and into her ear. He kisses it away, humming, brushing her bangs off her forehead so he can press his mouth between her brows. “You have every right to be upset. We’ll deal with him later. For now just let us take care of you.”

“She’ll get the message once you stop talking and fuck her,” Katsuki says, slipping his fingers into her. She clenches around him and shudders. “Gonna eat you out ‘til you forget how to move. Now put that fucking motor mouth to good use, Deku.”

#bnha #fic rec #mha #my hero academia #bakudeku #tododeku #bakutododeku #i do want to start reading kiribaku drop some recs pls #im just in a bakudeku hole #im not complaining i like it here #bnha fic rec #mha fic rec

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keebwee · 10 months

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dumbassery inc but its turtles

#i woulda done more but i am so nauseous rn #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #dumbassery inc #my art

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wildwormies · 2 years

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Just bc I realized I never did a proper squirmy wormy commentary

#wild kratts #wormcaps #dumbassery inc #chris kratt #martin kratt #aviva corcovado #jimmy z #wk koki #worms

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justasimplesinner · 3 years

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Hey sinner, I was wondering, Ince it's my birthday on Monday and all, could I maybe have some Arkham Riddler and/or scarecrow Headcanons pretty please?

no problem baby, hope you have a kickass birthday!!

Arkham!Riddler hcs:

Ed can't sleep without you. he literally cannot fall asleep. that's one of the main reasons he doesn't sleep all that much - because you're not always there. y'know, he always had this thing where he hugged the first thing he got his hands on in his sleep, be it a pillow or even a wrench. but then you came. first time he slept in one bed with you, when he reached out, you never pushed him away. he clung onto you and you hugged him back and caressed his hair and back as he snored into your chest

when he sleeps with you, he doesn't wake up from nightmares. actually, first time you let him rest on you, he slept for 12 hours straight, only stirring once when you tried to wriggle out of his grasp and go to the bathroom. and that manchild fucking got out of bed and trailed after you, quietly waiting until you're done so you can both go to sleep. he'd sit on the fuckin toilet with you if he could

as i mentioned earlier, he snores, and does so pretty loud - after having his nose broken so many times, it started healing a little crookedly and he started snoring. you'll have to get used to that. oh, and he also snorts. when he laughs sincerely, y'know, that real belly laugh, he snorts like a pig and it's really endearing (he was a little self-conscious about it around you at first)

he spoils a lot with gifts, partly to make up for the time he spends working, partly to show you he can give you things nobody else can. some of the gifts are store bought, but most of them are handmade - sometimes he'll make you something to make every day life easier and help with chores, sometimes he'll build you a fucking coffee machine from scratch because you said your one broke, sometimes he'll just create a little decoration to remind you of him, so you know he's always there

his thugs are really fond of you - not only are you polite and actually treat them like human beings, but you keep Ed at bay. your presence is obviously calming to him and you have a lot of good influence on him, which they're grateful for. they like to joke around with you and sometimes even invite you for a simple chat with beer or a game of poker. Edward was really opposed to the idea of you spending time with them but at some point he landed with a beer in hand, fries on the table and cards laid out before him and you didn't hear him complain. well... not that much, anyway

his robots are part-sentient, in a way that they're able to feel curiosity about the world around them and constantly learn new thing by themselves, without him having to constantly reprogramm them. they're kind of like children - but only kind of, and they treat you two kind of like parental figures. especially you, since Ed programmed them to see him more as a god or something along those lines. also, whenever there's any oncoming danger, the robots closest to you immediately run to your side to be ready and protect you

a stray cat once wandered into the orphanage, where you were currently helping Ed with painting the walls, and the robots immediately percieved it as a threat and almost anihilated it. it was a shitshow. and you also kept the cat, much to Edward's displeasure (he was bullshitting, you saw him baby talk to it and pet it more than once)

Arkham!Scarecrow hcs:

before the Croc accident, he was really chaotic and energetic and also a hazard to society. you were never bored because Jon always did some stupid shit, most of the time only because he's just clueless about social norms. you saw him eat coffee straight from the jar once because he was to fixated on his research to wait for the water to boil

he really loves making you laugh with his sarcastic quips. honestly, he just loves making you laugh. but also scream. he's a master at sneaking up on you and suddenly gripping your arms/waist or enveloping you in a hug out of nowhere and in the most unexpected places. he once did that while you were making dinner and ended with a whole pan worth of spaghetti on his head

he was a contortionist and could manipulate his body any way he wanted, and let me tell you that he scared you half to death because he was laying on a position so inhuman that you just thought he fucking went and killed himself on accident and landed with his limbs all over the place

he loved dancing with you, he was a very skilled dancer before he suffered all that damage. after the accident, he can't really spin you around like he used to. to be honest, he can't really do anything he used to do with you. he's really changed after the accident, and he really needs your help with practically everything. he hates it, especially since he knows he often took what you two had for granted and wasn't the best partner out there, and suddenly not only will he never be able to have fun with you like in the past, but he's also become kind of a burden - no matter what you say, he can clearly see how exhausted you are from dealing with him all the time. quite frankly, he has no fucking idea why you even stayed with him

he really does everything in his power to show you how grateful he is for all you do. he often has trouble expressing his true feelings because he hates being percieved as weak (this intensified after the accident) and can't get it through his thick skull that telling you he loves you doesn't make him weak, but he spoils you to the best of his abilities. you always get what you want and his gifts are always thoughtful, and whenever he gets you a book, he somehow always knows which one you'll like the most. he does everything in his power to pay you back for your kindness

that man actually shed some tears more than once over the fact that you love him so much that you decided to waste your life with him. of course he fucking wants you and it'd kill him if you left, but he knows it'd be better for you if you did. but despite all the self-loathing he feels at himself, he's possessive as hell. despite the fact that behind closed doors, he feels like he doesn't deserve you, he makes sure everyone knows not to touch you or even think about touching you, because you're his. you choose to stay with him, even after what happened, and there's no way you're getting out of this one

and listen, he may have become more... tame, but he's certainly not boring. despite everything, this man is still the chaotic god of the universe, and he'll be damned if he stopped making you laugh to the point of tears. and let's not forget that man has crows as pets - the shenanigans that ensue are not like any other and you'll never see anything even slightly similar to that dumbassery on planet Earth

#riddler #edward nigma #edward nygma #the riddler #jonathan crane #scarecrow #the scarecrow #arkhamverse #my writing #headcannons #fluff #angst #rjshepherd

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razzle-zazzle · 2 years

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dumbassery inc but the context got shoved back into the grave

#zaz shitposts #dumbassery inc

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youjustwaitsunshine · 4 years

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why i love jev and why you should too; an essay

first things first, Jean-Éric Vergne is a french racing driver, driving in f1 for Toro Rosso from 2012 to 2014, and the to date only Formula E bi-champion (this word was used by official fe commentators and i thought it was hilarious so i adapted it). His cat is called Cheetah.

Jev is tall for a racing driver, so he always had trouble with weight regulations simply because he has more body mass than shorter drivers. He had massive health problems especially in his last year in f1 because he needed to meet weight regulations. When he was out of f1, he was with Ferrari as test driver for one year in 2015 while also doing formula e where he was good in qualifying but less good in the races.

In f1, jev was part of the frenchie gang

and a close friend of Jules Bianchi, whose death took a big toll on jev. Jev is still getting on well with the f1 frenchies we have at the moment and he was driving the virtual le mans in a team with Pierre Gasly with whom he is probably already sharing strategies to comb over bald spots.

In his first years in fe, jev was known to be difficult, he was in a really bad place from getting the Red Bull Family Treatment™ and when he got to techeetah from (ds) virgin racing it was said that that was more or less a last hurrah but boy they were wrong.

Techeetah was the right team for Jev and they got their collective shit together and won two driver's and one team championship.

That much for history, now the important stuff:

I like Jev a lot because he has the same personality as my cat: bitchy, mopes if things do not go his way, seems like an ass but is actually a softie.

when he's concentrated, jevs eyes double in size and he goes full 👁️👄👁️

When the australian gp didn't happen jev looked at the trainwreck of f1 and said skdjdhdhdjs lets go virtual i got this and then proceeded to do the not the gp series with veloce just because he could. F1 wishes. The f1 virtual gps were just a pale copy of Jev Virtual Racing inc.

Another point of why i love jev is that he liked a painting i made of him on instagram

i also love jev because he can not sit straight and i identify with that as well as him practically inhaling kinder eggs on stream, which is another point: TWITCH JEV.

This is his twitch and his streams mostly consisted of bad formatting, angry french mumbling and huffing and calling seb buemi to complain/mope

My personal highlight of jev streams was when Cheetah came to sit on his bed during the virtual le mans and also the chaotic amazon box corner he had under his stairs

Jev has a rug in his living room with his logo/intials on it, which says something about his ego as well as his interior design tastes.

Cheetah, his young and very cute bengal cat looks perpetually worried about him (understandable) and takes great interest in sim racing

of course i can not mention jev without jeandre because the fe francophone power couple is the fanfic that writes itself:

from being childish dumbasses as teammates to demonstrating how baby fe cars are made and still getting the first 1-2 in fe history in santiago de chile to dinner dates to jev going to andre's house in gordes on his birthday to jev once again being a human in cat software and inconveniently plopping himself onto andre to "and there was only one bed" irl, jeandre are goals.

Andre is the prime example of what happens when a wild jev meets someone he clicks with and can work with well (still waiting for the jeandre sunglasses brand)

here they can be seen judging anything you put into the blue rectangle, thank me later

when things do not go his way, jev mopes. Getting yeeted by George in the not the gp series? Jev mopes. Qualifying went bad? Jev mopes. Small inconvenience? Jev mopes. Big inconvenience? Jev mopes and says/does something unsportsmanlike which gets him in trouble over which he probably mopes even more. He's a sulky mopey little girl at the playground and i love him for it even though I don't support his rash dumbassery he sometimes shows on track.

Now jev is regularly being described as "the frenchest person possible" and he is not only french but parisian. A true parisian should always be a little slutty and jev can do that no problem.

scandalous.

jev is the kind of person who goes full cleavage on his bike jersey and i respect that

anyways jev is a really cool and sincere dude when he's not sulking at the moment, he's a great driver and while he does have his faults he seems like someone you can genuinely vibe well with.

Also he plays piano beause ofc he does hes the slutty sulky french googly eyes dude

If jev were a pokemon, he'd be roselia in my opinion and with this conclusion i say thank you for reading/sorry you had to scroll through this mess, bye.

go to my jev tag for more screaming about unhinged twitch dinner plate eyes man

#jev #jean eric vergne #formula e #long post #this could be longer #but out of respect i shortened it to the essentials #sorry im on mobile so i cant do a read more #anyway jev💖💖

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raayllum · 3 years

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can i ask why you're not an anti? since anti means anti p*dophilia and anti inc*st :/

it’s because i read greek mythology as a child and have critical thinking skills, and the people who use those terms the way you currently are don’t actually know what either of them mean and aren’t responsible enough to use them, lmao

for example: the very popular wlw canon ship c*tradora from “she-ra the princesses of power,” a children’s show reads as incestuous - raised by the same abusive mother figure since they were babies - and as abusive to me, both emotionally and physically. that doesn’t mean i get to harass people who do like it, or think it doesn’t have a right to exist, or that other interpretations of their relationship cannot exist just cause i don’t think the same way.

it’s also because i was a questioning ace (sex repulsed) teenager being called a homophobic pedophile by grown ass adults - consistently, for 2+ years - because of anti rhetoric, and because i didn’t want to share my age online bc i was still a minor. because you know, anonymous privacy of sensitive information matters

so even if studying literature’s affect on reality wasn’t my legitimate degree that i’ve excelled academically at every year of my university career, i’d still think the “anti movement” was stupid at best and harmful at worst. sometimes the “children” you’re trying to protect can ship the “problematic” things and be fully aware they’re problematic and still enjoy them, y’know? teenagers aren’t actually stupid and the anti movement has too much in common with aphobic, conservative puritanism for me to not see through its bullshit (hi 1800s victorian moral panics, and the very first thing plato and aristotle argued over, lmao - you’d think people would learn their history, right, and not repeat the dumbassery of samuel johnson)

you can get that harassment shit out of here. sounds like trying to cancelling the entire greek pantheon (and the bible, honestly, for that matter) is your bigger fish to fry

#yes i almost double majored in history #thanks for asking #anonymous #sincerely someone who was a teenager just Two Years Ago lmao #you can get squicked out by things and not be a karen you know #dragons gets salty #Anonymous #god the headache this gave me #i also don't plan on deciding/telling survivors what i think they can or cannot handle in fiction

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egossideblog · 4 years

Text

this is just a prologue

i am dying at class, writing dumb shit in like 3 hours, i wrote it for me because i am here with people who are 20, act like boomers, and say that bowties are gay and i want out

ship: dr iplier/the host

word count: 1130

warnings: injuries, flirting while having a concusion, (i don’t have an autocorrect but i have a dyslexia and i am so sorry, i’m trying my best)

tag list: @fioxis @lostinegomayhem @the-anti-average-family

The Author plopped down onto his matress. He’s never had a bed in the cabin, and it was one of the days when he regretted it. His hands hurt, both from furious scribbling while trying to get his character not to move too much while their body morphed into a monster he needed for his latest work and from said monster grabbing his wrist and pulling it away from the paper to stop the transformation.

Writing was supposed to be a safe job, and yet here he was, with a swollen wrist and, probably, a mild concussion.

Now, after the monster had escaped and was probably causing heart attacks within the local forest rangers population, the Author just wanted to lie down and maybe to get some painkillers. He would have to get up to get those, though, and he really didn’t feel like it. His body was too heavy for it and moving caused his vision to go blurry. He was so tired; his eyes were closing on their own and looking around worked in that weird kind of slow motion that made him feel nauseous. His shirt grew warm around the area where he pressed his wrist to avoid moving it too much.

The situation was not good.

At least Dr Iplier was on the way. He always seemed to know when he was needed in the cabin, almost as if he had his own type of a sixth sense which made him able to sense whenever the Author’s dumbassery reached its peak. He would arrive, carry the Author to the car and drive them to the office, and take care of him while screaming about how this was irresponsible and stupid. And the Author would love every minute of it while acting all defensive about it.

Doctor was not supposed to know about this. He was just doing his job, taking care of the other Egos, and while the Author was not very subtle and not even trying to hide his feelings, it never occurred to him that he could have said something. Edward had the perfect brain power to be a good doctor (despite being weird about it) but not nearly enough brain power to notice the signs.

The Author looked down at his shirt, which now, in addition to the warmth, was also wet. Huh, he thought. He hadn’t noticed his wrist was bleeding before. Sudden dizziness replaced the exhaustion he’d felt as he pressed his other hand to the wound and hissed in pain. He had to focus on something to stop himself from passing out.

He looked around the cabin. Concentrating on writing ideas wouldn’t do it. It was his power, using it now would only make him weaker. He was ready to fight himself from making it the most empty place possible so that nothing could distract him. He didn’t even have a phone to try to get someone to show up faster.

His vision started growing dark around the edges when the door finally opened.

“Author?” Edward stepped into the cabin and looked around with concern.

“Here.”

The Author tried to sit up straight but his body had apparently decided to go into a shutdown. He couldn’t move; keeping his eyes open was a struggle. He could see Edward approaching him and putting his bag down next to him but it all seemed so far away for some reason.

“Come here often?” he asked with a smirk (or at least what he thought was one, controlling his face was also a struggle) as Edward kneeled down next to him.

Doctor sighed deeply.

“Every time you decide to do something stupid, apparently. What happened?”

There was no anger in the doctor’s voice. He sounded professional and the Author was trying his best not to think about it too much. He was trying not to think about anything now that he was safe. God, his head hurt.

“The Authorstein’s monster’s escaped,” he replied. “My child betrayed me, can you believe it? Also I think it broke my wrist.” “Did you really call it that?” “Yes, and please remember that Authorstein is the creator, not the monster.”

Edward snorted. The Author may have been dying but making the doctor laugh was always his priority, mostly because of how nerdy and perfect his laughter was.

The concussion made him even gayer for some reason.

“I hate it,” Edward smiled, taking a roll of bandage out of his bag. “Not like I don’t. It tried to vore me.”

Doctor rolled his eyes and gently moved the Author’s arm from where he was cradling it against his chest to take a closer look at the injury. The writer tried not to scream. He squeezed the blanket thrown over the mattress with his other hand. It didn’t hurt this badly when it happened.

“Sorry. It is broken. And you need a few stitches. And a break from writing until it heals.” “I’m ambidextrous, you know?” he informed just as Edward began to wrap the bandage around his wrist. “I meant more, uh- emotionally? To get some less dangerous ideas. Did you hit your head?” he asked suddenly, pulling a package of tissues out of his coat pocket. “Yeah, why?” “Your nose is bleeding.”

He hadn't even felt it until Doctor mentioned it. He looked down to see more bloodstains on his shirt. I should have worn black, he thought, bringing his unbroken hand up to his face to wipe the blood off. “Oh. Didn’t notice.”

“Keep your head down, please.”

The doctor pressed a tissue into his hand. He assumed the Author wasn’t conscious enough to take one himself and press it to his nose and while the writer hated it he couldn’t help feeling grateful for it.

Edward went silent, trying not to hurt the Author even more while bandaging his arm. The stitches would have to wait until they got back to Egos Inc.

“I’m taking you to my office.” Edward zipped his bag up and stood up, trying to figure out how to help the Author get to the car. “Well, I’m taking you on a date when this is over, so I think I win here,” he said before his filter had a chance to kick in; he never had much of it anyway.

Edward rolled his eyes but smiled gently, moving to help the Author up.

“You have a concussion-” “Well, maybe, but I mean it,” he interrupted, letting the doctor lift him.

It wasn’t the first time that was happening. He wanted to help, maybe even to try to walk but he felt so weak.

“No, I- you have a concusion, be careful. We’ll walk slowly, okay?” “Oh.”

“And I’d be more than happy to go on a date with you.”

“... Oh.”

#dr iplier #the author #docthor #void's writing

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