#enjoyed it and its so fucking annoying that theyre acting like im doing nothing and applying to nothing and going nowhere

[himbo-harrington]

.

#i can hear my parents whispering about me in the kitchen and complaining that like i don't have a car or a job or a credit score and shit #like that and literally just yesterday i heard that i didnt get this grad scheme i really wanted even though i only got positive feedback #from the company throughout the whole application process and its so fucking disheartened #and mum keeps being like 'at least you won't be 6 hours away now!' like thats any kind of consolation #i dont give a fuck if it was 6 hours away it was doing something i really wanted to do was very generously paid and i would have really #enjoyed it and its so fucking annoying that theyre acting like im doing nothing and applying to nothing and going nowhere #when they know thats bs and ive applyed to so many jobs and grad schemes and either get rejected or ignored and im sorry that i dont want #to work a shitty minimum wage job and get a shitty little car and have to toot toot around hating it?? #like im sorry for wanting something better than that?? #and all you see is me here 'doing nothing' #whats the fucking point #whats the fucking point of it all

[effervescent-fool]

you ever have those friends where every couple of days you open your dms and wonder why you even bother trying to talk to them

#its not that i dont enjoy the conversations we do have #its just that theyre so far and few between #its like he doesnt even remember i exist. #and every time i open our messages it makes me upset because he just straight up ignores half the shit i send to him #i dont know how to voice this without feeling like im guilt tripping him #in the past when i have tried to talk about it he always says something along the lines of 'im trying to do better' #but hes been saying that for over 2 years and never changes. #i care about him so much and hes like my big brother. but holy fuck #i find myself constantly just deleting messages ive sent him because its been 5+ hours and he hasnt responded #and i start thinking that im annoying him #i just feel like a burden to him?? #i dot even think im high maintenance and its not like im asking that much right? #i just dont like how he ghosts me for days on end and then acts like nothing happened #vent #going to delete later

[toysrguts]

Jeff's Relation to the Other Pastas

plz dont come for me this is my own personal au or whatever im not claiming these as facts o___o

also sorry if i didnt add ur favorite i just did the most relevant ones ig idk sorry this kinda sucks!!!!!

🩻EJ: #bestfriends4lyfe they clicked when they first met and they've been best friends ever since. they have the kind of friendship where they can just sit in silence doing their own thing just enjoying each other's presence. EJ doesn't talk much anyway and Jeff respects that. they do everything but also nothing together, its really sweet.

🪓Toby: they definitely have a thing going on IM SORRY SUE ME. they have a history of absolutely hating each other but over time they both realized they were trying to hide their attraction to one another. jeff always looked for reasons to be closer to toby, even if it was just to bully him. either way toby yearned for jeffs company. now they both bully each other but affectionately

🖤Jane: NUH UH. KEEP THEM AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AT ALL COSTS. these 2 in a room together is basically opening pandoras box

🎮BEN: they are the epitome of straight boys that claim to be straight but act so painfully gay with each other. they will literally make jokes about fucking but get offended when someone questions it. theyre also the ones who are always staying up all night playing video games and waking everybody up with their screaming and yelling

🎀Nina: nina is jeff's crazy ex girlfriend. they stayed friends after the breakup but nina is still super clingy and jeff uses that to his advantage to boss her around all the time. little does he know she still snips locks of his hair when hes not looking and has a whole shrine for him in her room :3

🧸Sally: jeff treats sally a lot better than the rest of the pastas. shes basically jeff's younger sister; they have movie nights together every weekend and they also play a lot of dress-up and hide and go seek. sally also likes to force jeff to let her give him makeovers. jeff is like a different person around her, its nice to see him be silly every once and a while

🍬LJ: jeff annoys the absolute shit out of this man. hes like the authority figure that jeff likes to disobey just to be annoying. he roasts the absolute shit out of him for being a clown and pulls pranks on him constantly but always hides before LJ can beat the living shit out of him. jeff is like 2 whole feet shorter than him but hes somehow not scared of him. LJ is like his own personal punching bag for no reason

#creepypasta #jeff the killer #jeff woods #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta jtk #jeff the killer hc #jeffrey woods #jtk #jtk headcanons #jeffery woods #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta au #eyeless jack #laughing jack #nina the killer #ticci toby #sally williams #ben drowned #ticci toby x jeff the killer

[nanjokei]

i know ive said it before a few months ago but even though i dont go there i feel like people are pretty meanspirited towards genshin fans. obviously one of the biggest games around is gonna attract people who are new to geek ish shit like video games and anime. which means its likely their opinions are likely to be unseasoned. i think theres an entire world that exists for teenagers and normies with smartphones that we arent seeing, maybe its a generational gap idk

like the people who are super into webtoons and genshin and god knows what else, younger people and normies, lack the etiquette that was basically beaten into our brains through years of frequenting forums and microblogging social sites (livejournal, tumblr) (this is a lie because most people lack etiquette to begin with) so they act unbecoming, get into fights, make claims about skinny twinks being daddy or whatever. mostly cuz they know nothing else. is it annoying? yeah, but it feels meanspirited to write all of them off, and all of genshin off. i dont play it, i tried it close to launch and found myself completely disinterested so after not even completing the tutorial i ended up dropping it, but i have a lot of friends who are normal and find themselves enjoying it unironically and theyre surprised that they do due to the overly exaggerated reputation it has. im just speaking in general, of course they have the same issues a lot of people have with genshin, in fact i think most people who Actually Play Games would...

in general i dont get the catastrophization of genshin. i feel like so many people attribute things to it that dont make sense, like how suddenly all anime character design, especially fantasy, has gotten worse. my own feelings on the designs is pretty neutral. but at the same time its like, a fucking anime game, idk, i dont have feelings on it to begin with because it just looks like most other anime games but hoyoverse flare is hoyoverse flare.

to begin with i don't think hoyoverse is to blame for fantasy designs sucking. i think that is completely dishonest to suggest. as a fantasy fan, i think that its an issue of decay and lack of interest in the genre. i wrote about my feelings in isekai before (hint: mostly positive) but its a fact that most people have no interest in fantasy anymore. its seeing a slight genuine revival recently, but i feel like most of people's exposure is from isekai that take a very minimalist and "modern" sensibility to the designs so as not to be cringe and over the top. here is a google search i did in november 2022 with the search term "anime elf"

i mostly use this cap to show that 1) this is an issue ive been concerned about consistently and 2) if you search "anime" anything these days you get a lot of ai art and that is just noise to me in this context. by the way, in nov 2022 if you searched "90s anime elf", the results are entirely deedlit lol. she's very pretty, and every anime aesthetic page on social media is eager to reshare her and erroneously go "80s anime is the best 😍😍😍" you know, the ova series and tv anime that came out in 1990 and 1998 respectively. its just a complete and utter lack of disinterest in the fantasy genre all around that leads to fantasy anime being swallowed up into nothingness and not being present in any zeitgeist. even tales of, a series that seemed inseperable from the conventions of the genre, has forsaken it. the super tropey anime fantasy jrpg doesn't exist anymore. even fire emblem keeps hiring artists that have no business designing characters in a medieval setting (kozaki, kurahana, pikazo). granblue FANTASY has entirely shed its final fantasy tactics inspo aesthetic and is increasingly releasing more characters distant from those sensibilities.

anyway, my point is that for over a decade now fantasy as us nerdy 20 somethings grew up with has been considered owakon and blasé. nu anime fantasy is either informed by wanting to smooth out the fantasy element as much as possible (see: rezero's character design sense. i have no comment on the story itself) or inspiration from anime MMOs that usually had more simple armor and clothing designs for most players who didn't pay up. its a whole issue from top to bottom, and frankly genshin has nothing to do with it. there are modern series clearly made by people who love the fantasy we grew up with. even those that have a different world view, like tensura, lampshades the protagonist's view of fantasy to the world he actually ended up in.

if anything genshin at least feels like its calling to SOMETHING. im not sure what, to be honest i dont really get the design thoroughline of it, and a lot of the designs are overdesigned, but i think some designs do feel reminiscent of a more familiar fantasy aesthetic (venti comes to mind).

of course its true that a lot of young artists take inspiration from genshin, you know, its one of the most popular games in the world, its like mind boggling hearing how big its install base is, but also i keep hearing that it had some kind of ripple effect on all character design in every game and anime ever. can anyone actually show me like even 3 examples of this? like, be honest with me. is that not peak catastrophizing? game has barely been out for 3 years, its not really enough for its ripple effect to suddenly change the world.

what you are complaining about is an issue that has been an issue since the 2010s. maybe you are only noticing it now that you have a new mediore hatesink to invest in. anyway yes this mediocre and halfhearted defense of genshin's fans was an excuse for me to rant about fantasy as a genre being on its death throes and how people are misattributing the tragedy to rant about some mediocre anime gacha game. i hope the recent popularity of series like dungeon meshi and frieren (i mention them bc theyre currently airing right now) makes people remember that fantasy can be good and pure soul. i hope we get a real tales of game soon also.

if you read this far please let me know what you think even on anon. its a topic that greatly interests me (anime fantasy, not genshin, i have nothing to say about genshin)

#rambles #lodoss novels started up in 1988 if you wanna argue with me thats barely 80s #they are posting gifs from 90s animes anyway

[pezpenser205]

why do people on tumblr act like theyre entitled to representation in other peoples headcanons. fandom is meant to be self indulgent and always has been. just make your own oh my god its so easy. hot take apparently but headcanons arent meant to be consumed by anyone else except the person making them and if you dont 100% agree then make your own posts and art??

of course a transfem person is gonna hc all the characters as transfem. of coure a lesbian is gonna hc the ones they relate to as lesbians. ofc a transmasc person is gonna make all the characters transmasc. of course a gay dude is gonna make the guys they relate to gay.

these people arent physically going back and changing the source material. theyre projecting their own experiences and exploring themselves through fiction and the fact anyone would critique Headcanons of all things for not representing the entire rainbow instead of just making their own goddamn shit or just indulging in the source material is absurd.

youre so poisoned by the capitalistic notion that youre entitled to enjoy everyones personal art and have your feelings taken into account in everything people create that youre taking that attitude to peoples fangirl posts that are meant to be self exploration that has nothing to do with you. its disgusting and braindead and frustrating to everyone else thats just in fandom just to have fun that has to deal with you trying to act like other peoples indulgent fan content is ever made with you in mind.

if you see a headcanon you dont like then ok. its not about you. like literally ever. make your own shit and block people you dont like or shut the fuck up forever im dead serious its getting so annoying seeing people talk about how much they hate that people dont make enough ____ headcanons or that theyre sick of seeing ____ headcanons. like you could deadass be making them rn and changing the narrative yourself. but youd rather complain about other minorities projecting themselves and be full of anger that not everyone is catering to you instead. i think youre stupid and entitled actually and should be blown up horribly with a million pipe bombs.

#op

[yuukei-yikes]

loving the most recent harutaka doodle were takane is being LOUD and possible STRESSED and just haruka touching her causes causes inner peace and *subwoofer lullaby inside her head*

TEEHEEEEE!!!!

originally i was gonna draw her blushing and getting all silly with this sorta funny smile i like drawing->🥴 something like. a teehee moment cuz imagine that and then her leaning against him while giggling super silly *explodes* isn't that so cute. but i changed it bc i felt it would've needed some dialogue, since post str takane doesnt get pissed at Whatever, if she's mad its probably worth getting mad at, so it would've had to be specific... what would get her mad but also not mad enough to quickly teehee over haruka instead... i couldnt think of anything to write. so i changed it to takane deciding whatever she's yelling about isn't worth it anyways and haruka is comfy :3 i think haruka is rly good at calming her down just by existing she's like Oh right. *cat head bump*

the hc was early dating harutaka being giddy and silly abt each other which is why i was gonna draw it that way initially. but then i didnt lol. or like early reunion actually, not even dating. like haruka can just sit next to takane and their shoulders touch and takanes like omg🥰 hehe. i think they'd be cute like that. i think they'd get all excited and giggling and sooooo stupid about each other. sorry if this is cringe to the viewers but thats cute come on.

the worst pda haruka and takane exhibit is this early dating/about to be dating stage where they're just talking with their faces really close together whispering and giggling. Cringe as hell my man 🙏 wait im about to get completely off topic well not really but let's talk about pda for a bit im in a love mood im in a shipping mood <- the moment it knew the ask reply was turning into its own unrelated post

sorry to talk about setomary like no one even mentioned it but on the subject of pda. i think only kano and kido (and maybe ayano) are setomary pda haters (not setomary haters. just when theyre pda) and the rest are like :3❤️ theyre so cute. but for harutaka since theyre so fucking cringe EVERYONE is kind of annoyed. they just fucking pretend nothings happening because its cringe. maybe during the first week after they reunited they're like aww its so nice haruka and ene reunited :3 but it gets difficult to look at fast.

seto and mary are being more normal they do shit like seto carries mary and theyre hugging all the time etc etc nothing too tragic. maybe seto calls her princess maybe mary gives him some flowers thats just what theyre like not only to each other but theyre that way to Everyone they just happen to match each other's level of swetness perfectly so no one thinks twice abt it. setomary is more natural and cute abt it. but haruka and takane act like they're in highschool at the back of the classroom whispering and giggling and its augh. it's insufferable to witness. i imagine the dan just widening their eyes to each other and mouthing Oh My God to each other all the time when harutaka start acting this way. like haruka and takane do everything except kiss each other in public seeing them kiss would actually be better bc what the hell is this. kido probably forces them to exhange seats like theyre in highschool for real.

sorry lets do a quick pda rating since i already talked about setomary and harutaka so why not talk about kidomomo and shinaya now that im on it. i told you i was getting off topic and also ratio + im an epic aroace person who enjoys romance as fiction so i love Love and making these hcs about smooching!!!! like ive seen ppl do what i described harutaka like. These people are going to hell. however harutaka are safe because theyre fictional. hope that helps.

for kidomomo its baby steps Momo throws herself on kido at all times and kido Vanishes each and every time or has to leave the room out of embarrassment. i think if kidomomo have any relationship issues its THIS. momo is so touchy and pda energy and kidos like 😐😐😐😐😐😐 momos like Ok 1 thousand kisses in private for me to stop kissing u in public and kido says Ok not taking the 1 thousand bit seriously but momo is serious and she WILL count them later. like she gets so good at numbers all of a sudden. kidomomo inside joke that kido is in serious kiss debt *falls to my knees abt my own hc i just pulled out of my ass* sorry thats so corny. but its so cute *bangs fist against floor*

shinaya are anti pda because theyre both nervous messes if their hands brush together shintaro starts having trouble breathing and ayano competes with him at seeing who can embarrass themselves more. shintaro is pretty pathetic but we all know that so... ayano... a girl can nervously brush her hair out of her face only so many times. pull yourself together. anyways in my delusion as you may know they get together and break up. but get together again as normaler people and theyre normaler abt pda then. i think shintaro can have his arm around ayano without either of them being a freak about it. Also ayano probably sends kisses across the room with her hands and will act sad until shintaro catches at least one invisible kiss. shintaro refuses to kiss it back but compromises with putting the invisible kiss in his pocket instead. 🙏

sorry damn i was feeling Love today....... also didnt talk abt kanoshin which is another ship i rly like because they'd explode and die before standing next to each other in public in fear of giving away that they like kissing each other on the mouth. they dont qualify for pda hcs. sorry I turned the reply of this ask into whatever this is

#ask tag #headcanons #harutaka #pda #shinaya #kidomomo #setomary

[loverofallthingssmart]

EESHA how do you think about the school for good and evil movie........... their arcs were like watered down but the outfits slayed methinks

YOURE SO RIGHT i like just finished it get ready for my jumble of thoughts 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

WHAT I LIKED:

outfits were quite literally SOOOOO GOOODDDDD im obsessed with all of them <3 all the designs truly like set design, effects, all of it GREAT

acting 100% i mean expected bc of the extremely talented and experienced cast we had

soundtrack in my humble opinion was great the instrumental scores???? wonderful and even like the modern music fit for the scene i think…brutal by olivia rodrigo and toxic by brittany spears always hits it doesn’t matter so yeah <3

gregor was sweet i know he was simply there to be a replacement in the wish fish scene for the gargoyle in the book but he made me smile so

tagatha MWAH MWAH i love tedros is so silly so stupid with poor timing and family issues i love him and he and agatha were so WAHH i enjoyed how tedros was enamored with her at their first meeting and i giggled at every scene they had so yeah <3

WHAT I…WELL UM:

the plot was kind of iffy :/

i’m sorry i’m like kind of forgiving bc it felt made for a stand alone movie but that cliffhanger for a sequel was ????? bc they got rid of like all the plot for the second one to happen like that rafal blood magic thing was unnecessary, why was the school master so involved?? he shouldn’t have been?? it shouldn’t even be that he was “good” he literally never does anything for the school so all the staff assumes he’s good, gavaldon not being aware of the school was i mean fine like it didn’t affect the plot in any way so and lady lesso being a reader was actually interesting to me !

WHERE WAS MY CIRCUS OF TALENTS THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS IM SO SAD IT WASNT THERE, uh the trial by tale being just for sophie and tedros was uh. a choice ig??, surviving the forest class not being combined was heartbreaking to me even though it didn’t harm anything and the failing thing was weird agatha never fails and sophia fails ONCE which leads to her makeover and tedros falling but the love potion plot (and the EXTREMELY WEIRD fox scene) leaving was great and i can adjust, i do wish we had more scenes proving that agatha was tedros’s true love me personally i think that scene where they both get turned into goblins and then start fighting would have been hilarious, the 100% good agatha and 100% evil sophie was missed but we got “ppl are complex and nothing is black and white” narrative from agatha which i loved so

the wish fish was SOO annoying im sorry bc it’s not that agatha wished for that fishie to go home it’s that she granted the wish fish’s wish to go home!! bc her power is granting wishes!!!! and then it DEVOLVES into chaos but on the other hand that right hook agatha delivers tedros was SOOOGOOD, lady lesso being into rafal was so stupid like be fucking serious..that just made me mad, lady lesso just hating good was weird it’s very clear in the book whole she doesn’t LIKE good she believe its necessary for balance

yeah character arcs were definitely watered down which is :/ but movie adaptations are always like that something’s gotta give, no but like they HAVE agatha’s mirror scene im upset they didn’t include her whole beauty thing in the movie but on the other hand sophia plays agatha so well even without her crippling hatred for beauty, princess anemone being michelle yeoh was everything to me especially how she was given the curse word in this pg-13 movie, um im sure there’s more but i can’t remember anything else OH YEAH WHERE IS PRINCESS UMA AND PROFESSOR SADER?? NOT ONLY R THEY WERE THEY NECESSARY FOR THE ABSENT CHARACTER ARCS WE GOT BUT THEYRE ALSO NECESSARY FOR THE FUTURE SEQUELS WE MAY OR MAY NOT BE GETTING???? anyway that’s it thank u and good night 🫶🏽

#my first typing of tedros autocorrected to testosterone and that made me giggle im sorry #sorry my ‘dislikes’ are a whole block of text theyre all technically just plot things so yeah #the way my only issue is that plot……i’m so real #not upset abt that whole like sidekick thing being gone although i do wish we got more of the whole agatha and sophie are nemeses instead of #like one mention #most of this is nitpicky things and that ending is………whatever but good movie overall ! #ALSO soman’s cameo in the movie WAS SO DIDNEGDIFNHSKR to me he didn’t do anything but the fact that he was there..hilarious #jack tag #ask me anything #the school for good and evil #sge movie spoilers #id put a keep reading but with this new update idk how to on my phone #this also took me like 45 min to type help me i care too much

[qrichas]

vent post. fandom neg, not abt any specific situation, feel free to ignore and scroll past

i get so tired of the overprotection the fandom has regarding characters and actions sometimes it feels too annoying to bear seeing stuff anywhere anymore. i understand when its done with the purpose to avoid miscaracterization from people who dont watch them and try to paint anything they do as the completly opposite or even false stuff at all also ofc its natural to have a bias towards your favorite, you like them and want people to understad them. but its tiring as fuck seeing posts like "how dare x character say something about y like that" when y character did something that bothered x and its normal they react like that, or "the situation between a b c and d is so sad bc no one takes into account a's feelings about this and how much they went thru" when 'a' never communicated properly what they go thru neither b c or d interacts in their pov the moment things happened, being impossible to know what happened without metagaming, or "h never gave any reason to distrust j about this" when they dont need to, even if its a tragic situation, characters will simply choose if they want to trust someone or not.

and the "trust" part is also something that makes me very pissed bc ppl act like any minor misstep someone makes is a "break of [characters] trust" and that they should isolate bc theyre oh so sad and no one cares about them and life is tragedy for them. when the people on the server are literally friends in real life and not always theyre gonna be full time roleplaying so ofc theyre gonna want to spend time with people regardless if their characters have beef with each other. i get you want to engage with the themes that are presented with a character and the story in general and discuss the analysis behing it but not everything is to be taken 100% seriously in need of deep discussions or long threads, sometimes things can change in the blink of an eye if the cc wants to, bc thats their character and their playstyle and they can do whatever they want with it. and i say this as a person with favorite characters, favorite themes i like to engage and discuss abt them, and that wants others to understand their actions and how their trajectory in the story is non-linear. but im also aware i dont need to excuse everything they do to make them seem like they're never wrong in any situation and theyre in fact the one who suffered most and people who are reacting negatively or having their own opinions abt them are, in fact, wrong and never understood the character as a person. not everything is abt your main pov and you have to be aware of this (tho its fine to joke like "they did nothing wrong!!!!" i myself do that, just be self aware). even if i dont like the way a character reacted to something my favorite has done/said (because its normal to be upset abt these things) or i think its unfair, its literally not on me to say what that character does or has to do and only them can choose what to do abt it, because after all this is a medium of semi improv roleplay, its not a fictional world with fleshed out characters with a start and an end. the ccs will say or do things they dont actually mean to say or do in character sometimes, and without counting the language barrier factor. anyway, ppl are free to complain abt stuff thats their blog and their own opinions and they can keep doing whatever. however ill be blocking posts and blogs that annoy me to no end regarding this situation in specific and then enjoying what my mutuals are posting or talking abt. i just wanted to put this vent out here bc thats something ive been bothered with for a long time and i cant vent this properly nowhere else lol.

#me.txt #fandom neg / #long post /

[whiterbone-a]

i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome.  take a seat and thank you for joining me.  if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting.  they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun.  also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder.  he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should.  hes very patient but very honest.  a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another.  i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly?  theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no.  it’s funny now that i think about it,  shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him.  he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou?  there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable.  i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his.  on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship.  hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself.  hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance.  his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this.  he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh.  you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can!  they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell.  i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this.  i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego;  to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc.  he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change?  absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards.  like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass.  tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much.  getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations.  gojou?  not so much.  nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement.  gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time.  it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village.  hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind.  thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait.  i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about.  if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually.  i can’t say, i can’t say!  just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship!  this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it!  i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

#jupitersnake #tldr its cute in concept but reality they just dont suit each other but #im a sucker for opposites attract so catch me all over the nana/go tag baybe!!!!!!

[3rachad-archive]

i hope this doesn't come off as rude ndksnsls but ive seen that you've remade a few times, is everything okay?

omg not rude at all!!! 

mm, i think in total- this is my 4th time remaking? so you’re right! it’s definitely been a few times now um :( i know it can be annoying- and i apologize to those ppl who feel like they HAVE to follow me or feel burdensome when i do this fjfdfkslfksf mm i’ll explain the whole thing under a cut (which doesn’t really work on mobile but jfjfkafejoew) bc i think it might get. long.

edit: ok so i didnt proofread bc its like 11 pm and im tired and ; __ ; pls forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes- i think the gist of what i’m saying comes through… 

mm, the first few times i remade were for the sake of organization? like from my VERY first (kpop) blog to the second one, i remade bc i felt that i was stanning too many groups and it was just super multifandom and super messy and it made me anxious having all of that there in a clutter

the second time i remade it was cause i felt that blog was lacking and i wasn’t really contributing to anything and i was trying to get rid of some toxic mutuals :// 

um the third time………. i think i just again: needed a fresh start bc i had a bunch of mutuals that made me uncomfortable and i didn’t want anyone to find me necessarily so i gfkjgsojgsoeser just ghosted my account n remade bc i needed it for my anxiety :( n i lost a lot of old mutuals on purpose 

um then this remake!!! hnnhfnjgfgf ok :( theres been a lot going on personally… hnngngiwoe its kinda split into two reasons: 

1) the lesser reason: i dropped out of a uni at the end of my first year and then went to apply to a new one and its been fucking hell like every where i turn smth else goes wrong. i’ll solve one problem and thensmth else happens. its so stressful and disgusting how much crap i’ve emotionally been through… and that blog pretty much chronicles ALL of those 2 months of panic and depression and such bad thoughts about myself and i just need to get AWAY from it 

2) the more pressing reason: its really quite frustrating and i think i’ve explained it before- but ive just found that nctzens have become a little too much for me. just everything about that fandom makes me so incredibly stressed and anxious and i’m not happy coming onto tumblr- and that’s not the point?? like tumblr is supposed to be fun and you’re supposed to be able to make stuff and enjoy yourself??? like… it shouldn’t fucking feel like a job or some kind of commitment. but nctzens have kinda just turned everything into a competition and they make everything abt popularity and followers and they act so mean to each other and their biases and say stuff that i find kinda :// and to just top it all off i just find that more and more of them are using their “platform” and “audience” (for lack of better wording) to start witch hunts… like they’ll “call out” users and say things that are just fucking disgusting and when theyre followers go and attack that user they dont take ANY credibility or think that it could’ve been their actions. they act so innocent and it just… it just frustrates me. 

its in my dfi/byf- but like if you’re not willing to discuss something with me when we get into an argument/disagree upon something, i dont think you should be following me. i find it incredibly childish for ppl to go and “”shade”” someone on their blog and talk shit about that person to their mutuals and make all of these ppl hate someone. its so senseless… i’ve never understood bringing personal drama up with ppl who have nothing to do with it… 

i also find that nctzens don’t understand the concept of “opinions” ??? like they act as if smth someone says is like. law. and they don’t think for 0.5 seconds before they go attacking ppl for saying “i think this song isn’t that good”… like, opinions aren’t right or wrong… theyre just opinions… some opinions can be ill informed or kinda universally s t u p i d - but there’s no such thing as a wrong opinion because …. inherently… opinions are just… beliefs we make upon information we have……….. ???? 

idk :( its just become too much for me to handle- when i started posting a little bit more of stray kids- which were one of my ults for a while- i got hate telling me i was a fake nctzen and that i would have my nctzen card revoked… like i’ve never taken that stuff seriously- but it fucking SUCKS to constantly be told youre not a “good enough fan” like… dood.. there is no such thing… kpoppies have invented this kinda ride or die culture where they lay down their lives for their favs and like i g e t i t - but like… lmao… ppl have lives they have things to do?? this is why streaming and voting and all of that stuff gets so frustrating and anxiety raising- because we’re made to feel like we HAVE to do it or we’re a bad fan?? like nahhhh that doesn’t fucking matter !! i get it goes towards their achievements and etc but also like put your fucking life first man… do those other things when you have TIME and ENERGY

all of this was ruining nct for me and i didnt need that negativity :( i love nct and i love johnny but i just need space :( the same thing happened to me when i liked bts so… i just dont want it to make me sad when i see them… you know? 

anyway- i’m sorry this got so fucking long and i’m just ranting at this point abt smth that probably you weren’t looking for but… like

tldr: everything was not okay, everything is very carefully balanced on a precarious edge !! mentally i just need to be in a place i can CONSIDER my safe place. i’m doing alright mostly, just anxious a little bit… and jfwifiawioefawe you probably weren’t looking for this dumb ass essay…. but…… yeah………. im sorry- and honestly? thank you for asking… idk :( its sweet 

#anon #answered #long post #uhungnngng #mm :( let me know when u read this i think ill be deleting it bc i dont want to get hate fjfaweifwjiaeioe

[mattelektras]

Jessie, I never asked you or I saw something like this on your blog but what do you think about the GotG movies? You like them? I understand that they also changed the whole story with respect to comics

god why is this so long!!! i love the sound of my own voice

im… bitter about the guardians movies. like when u sit down and watch them in the theatre you laugh and you thoroughly enjoy them but when you think about them theyre fucking awful??? i thoroughly enjoyed the first one, there was some super emotional elements to it despite the fact that it wasnt anything like the comics, but you kind of expect that from the mcu thats just how it is. but really the pre pubescent teenage boy jokes, the ‘oh i actually forgot you were here because women leave my mind as a concept after ive fucked them’ the whore line and the general acting like peter quill is the best shit since jesus christ….. should have been a warning???

the best thing about comics peter is that he’s so fucking normal like his dad’s king of a planet but he still flies around in his little ship in his ugly ass outfit and he’s not this fame hungry womanizer. he’s one of the most genuine and least annoying men in comics (or he was before they made the comics like the movies) and gunn (whedon for people who think their fav characters are super niche when they arent) made him into every single action movie male lead that gets a lot of girls without being likeable enough to genuinely warrant their attention and the one who leads and carries the team when literally EVERY FUCKING MEMBER of the mcu guardians are more skilled and smarter than him. then as for the rest of them…. 

why is mcu drax a fucking dumbass. why is gamora so watered down and why on god’s earth is she being even SLIGHTLY nice to mcu peter. gamora/peter is… bad. they left out some of the best members of the team to give diet peter more of a spotlight???? adam whom? richard where? phyla and heather?? talking raccoons are fine but gays in space…… a reach.

the second movie was objectively pretty horrible??? and not even just w the different origin for peter. they used ayesha and wasted it. they used ego and wasted him on being obsessed with peter. further reminded everyone that a woman’s death was the catalyst for the entire series because the mcu loves dead women. sure they TRIED with mantis but even that??? diet. mantis for babies. her personality was self deprecating and people telling her she was ugly like does anyone know what tact is??? hello??? mr gunn????

it all relies on trashy, cheap humor, innuendo, men with nothing beyond basic skills and personality, predictable plots, changing comics facts that have worked for years and women with more skill than the entire team being put down. and then forcing the comics to change as a result. so…… an avengers movie in space??that being said they do the job for like… fun Dont Think About It entertainment like it does what it sets out to do. its a big budget action movie not crime and punishment so me being a bitch about it is kind of inconsequential lmao my main takeaway would just be enjoy them but dont think about it. i miss the guardians so much i havent seen then in like 10 literal years where is my team

#@james gunn please read gotg 2008 i am literally begging you #anonymous #q & a

[sanders-specs]

Camp Swan Chapter 3

A/N: Yay we’ve survived another week! Hope everything is going okay for ya. If not then I’m confident it will! Stay strong :) For now let’s delve back into our summer camp adventures. 

Warnings: Swearing, homophobic slurs, bullying, intentionally not eating, social anxiety (at least how I understand it. Again, if I get anything wrong feel free to let me know) 

Parings: None. Just a flirty Roman

part 1| Previous

tag list: @princeyssash

“Well,” Roman says as the new kid blocked them all out, “he’s going to be a joy to room with, isn’t he?”

Logan sighs. “It seems that we have a troublemaker as a roommate, yes.”

“Now, now, I think he just doesn’t understand how great camp is just yet,” Patton says, speaking for the first time since Virgil ridiculed his favorite place on earth. “Give him some time and he’ll come around.”

“I don’t know,” Roman says doubtfully. “People like him never seem like the type to just ‘come around.’”

“Nevertheless,” Logan says, turning back to his thing to continue unpacking. “We shan’t let Virgil’s negative attitude damper our camp experience. Roman, I understand that this is your third year here, yes?”

“Yep!” Roman says proudly. “Though this is my first time meeting you.”

“Oh you’ll love Lo!” Patton exclaims. “He’s so smart, he knows just about everything.”

“If I knew everything then I would have at least a dozen Nobel Peace Prizes at this point in my life,” Logan says, “as well as a cure for all illnesses. As great as that would be, it is, in fact, false.”

“But you are smart,” Patton says.

“Yes, that is a correct statement.” Logan puts the last of his clothes into his closet and turns to Roman. “I suppose we should get the annoying, frivolous questions out of the way. Why do you enjoy coming to Camp Swan?”

Roman blinked at him, glancing at Patton for help but Patton was just sitting and staring at Roman curiously, like he was wondering the same thing. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“Well for instance,” Logan says, “I come because the particular forest that the camp is located is home to many species of plants that I would not have a chance to study through the rest of the year. I’ve been studying them every year since my first year and have been documenting their changes as our planet’s climate has changed. The camp provides the necessary resources for studying them as well, which is handy.”

“And I’m here because I love it!” Patton exclaims.

“Yes it seems that Patton enjoys the togetherness that Camp Swan brings,” Logan says with a slightly exasperated sigh. “I can’t say I understand, however I don’t judge him for it.”

“So what about you Roman? What does Camp Swan mean to you?” Patton asks.

“Ah,” Roman says, looking as if he understood better. “I come because it gives me a chance to work on all of my talents. Singing, acting, dancing…well okay I’m still working on the dancing part. Plus their equestrian training is fantastic!”

Logan had to admit that he was slightly impressed that Roman knew the word equestrian, though if anyone would be apt at horseback riding, it looked to be Roman. The other boy looked to be in fair shape, with big biceps that strained against his shirt showing that he worked out. Logan could also see through the tight t-shirt that Roman probably had what was known as a toned stomach as well. It distantly occurred to him to wonder just why Roman insisted on wearing clothing that was just a bit too tight. It did not seem comfortable.

“Look I know I’m handsome but you don’t have to stare,” Roman says.

Logan blinks. Had he been staring? He supposed that he must have, if Roman seemed to have thought so. “My apologies,” Logan says. “I was simply wondering why you would not wear better fitting clothes. We are at a camp after all, wouldn’t you want to be as comfortable as possible?”

Roman stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. Frowning, Logan looks at Patton who seemed to be trying to hide a smile. “What? What did I say?”

Roman just kept laughing. He clapped a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Man, Patton said you were smart, he didn’t tell me you were funny too.”

“I was not trying to be,” Logan says, shrugging off Roman’s hand. The other boy didn’t look offended, he just grinned at Logan.

“To me, this is comfortable,” Roman says, showing off his muscles that strained against his clothing. “It’s snug but not too snug, you know?”

Logan sighs and shakes his head. “I do not, but I suppose I will have to take your word for it.”

“Logan likes his facts,” Patton informs Roman. “He likes things to be straightforward.”

“Then I will respect that!” Roman declares, sounding for all the world like a royal. “or try to,” he adds in a calmer voice.

Patton sat on the floor, grabbing one of his nearby plushies and hugging it to his chest. He looks at Virgil, who still had his back to the rest of them, seeming to either not care about the conversation or not hearing it. “Do you think he meant what he said?” Patton wonders aloud. “That his parents hate him?”

“Oh please,” Roman says with a laugh. “Teenagers like him think that world is against them. honestly they’re a pain to deal with.”

Patton frowns. “Well something must make them feel that way.”

“Perhaps,” Logan says, knowing that it was futile to convince Patton of anything less. “However, we cannot force him to tell us anything he does not want to. Nor can we force him to enjoy camp. It will have to be up to him.”

Patton sighs a defeated sigh, but he nods. “You’re right as always Lo.” Patton turns his attention back to the ceiling. “Hey Roman, we haven’t finished the stars!”

“Right,” Roman jumps to his feet, gathering the stars they still had left to stick to the ceiling and walls.

Sighing, Logan turns towards the door. “I’ll get a chair.”

After a few hours, Thomas came back by the room to find Patton, Logan, and Roman all sitting on the ground in the middle of a game of Uno and Virgil lying on his bed, eyes closed and headphones on.

“Hey guys,” Thomas says. He points to Virgil, eyebrows creased. “Why didn’t you invite Virgil to play with you?”

“We did but Dr. Gloom and Doom seems to be too good for us,” Roman says, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Not really knowing what to say to that, Thomas just changes the subject. “O-Okay then. Anyway, the assembly is starting soon so we should all head over.”

The boys all nodded and stopped the game, even though Roman was complaining that he was just about to win (Thomas had seen that he had the most cards out of everyone, but even Roman’s roommates didn’t seem to want to correct him) and the three of them walked past Thomas and into the lounge. Thomas frowns, looking into the room where Virgil was still lying. It didn’t even look like he’d unpacked.

“Aren’t you guys going to get Virgil?” Thomas asks.

“He made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with us and to leave him alone,” Logan says matter-of-factly. “We are simply answering his request.”

Thomas frowns disapprovingly at them and looks at Patton. The more kind-hearted boy shifted uncomfortably on his feet, avoiding Thomas’s gaze. It was clear that he felt guilty, but the fact that he wasn’t countering Logan’s statement meant that he agreed.

Thomas sighs, putting his hands on his hips. “Look guys, we’re not going to get anywhere this summer if you exclude your roommate. It’s just going to make things miserable for everyone.”

The boys all slump, but Patton sighs and walks back into the room to retrieve Virgil.

Virgil stood in the back of the crowd, playing with his fidget cube as he watched the head of the camp, Joan they told the campers to call them, talking about all the different activities at the camp and how they would all rotate throughout the summer. Virgil wasn’t really listening. He was too focused on not focusing on how close he was being forced to stand to complete strangers. Thomas stood behind him, his arms crossed like some kind of officer making sure that the prisoners didn’t try to run for it. Virgil had to admit that he thought about it, but where would he go?

He couldn’t see his other roommates anywhere, as they had run off as soon as they’d gotten there, but that was probably for the better. He’d snapped at them enough earlier. Every time Patton tried to get him to play a game with them or talk with them, he’d snap. Every time Roman was being obnoxiously loud—so loud that he penetrated the bliss Virgil’s music provided—he snapped. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to get through the summer with those two. At least Logan seemed to understand when someone wanted to be left alone.

“Alright, I think that about does it!” Joan says. “Now is time to get some grub! Head on to the mess hall.”

The crowd dispersed, and Virgil turned. Thomas was still standing there, looking down at him. “Care to go get something to eat?” he asks.

Virgil rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to lead me around like a lost puppy. I’ll just follow the crowd.”

Thomas gives Virgil a smile he knew all too well. It was a smile that said he was close to losing his patience with Virgil but he had to be nice so he was going to smile through the pain. “Alright, be sure to be back at the cabin by sundown.”

Virgil just nodded and started following the flow of the crowd. Usually finding the source of food was easy, because that’s where everyone always gathered. It was the same for any animal in the animal kingdom, humans no exception.

As he was walking, though, he heard someone behind him laugh just a bit too loud for it to be conspicuous. “Who plays with one of those things unless they’re a fucking child?” someone said.

Virgil glanced over and saw a boy about a foot taller than him with long brown hair that reached his shoulders and a mischievous smirk on his lips. He was looking right at Virgil, or rather at the fidget cube in his hand.

Scowling, Virgil turns away from him, shoving the cube into his pocket. The last thing he wanted to do was to deal with morons. He just wanted to get something to eat and disappear into his cabin as soon as possible.

A hand came down on his shoulder, stopping him. “Hey, faggot,” the boy says, “got any more of those sissy cubes? You know they say not to bring anything unless you want to share with the class.”

“Get out of my face,” Virgil growls.

The boy raises his eyebrows. “What did you just say to me?”

“I said get out of my fucking face,” Virgil says, yanking himself out of the boy’s grip. “and get a life. The only childish one here is you.”

No one around them seemed to notice or care about the exchange, not that Virgil was surprised. No one ever care about losers like himself. The boy reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him close. “No one talks to me that way,” he growls.

“First time for everything then,” Virgil says, not backing down.

The boy’s eyes narrowed, and he shoved Virgil back so hard that he fell on his ass in the damp mud. The boy stood over him, glaring. Before Virgil knew what was happening, the boy’s good connected with Virgil’s ribs.

“That’ll teach you to talk back to me, you emo fag,” the boy says spitting on Virgil’s arm. He walked off, leaving Virgil on the ground.

Rubbing his sore ribs, Virgil picked himself up, the whole situation coming back to him. He felt his limbs shaking, his breathing becoming sparse. He looked around, but he was alone. Everyone else had disappeared in the mess hall. He looked at the now crowded building and shook his head. He couldn’t go in there, not looking like this. It would just make that boy feel even better, and probably make Virgil the butt of a lot of jokes. No he couldn’t go in there. He’d just eat breakfast in the morning. He didn’t need food tonight.

So Virgil turned and forced himself to walk back to his cabin. He needed to be alone. He needed to change. He needed to be free of this fucking camp.

Chapter 4

#sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #Camp Swan fic #my fic #swearing #homophopic slurs #bullying #intentionally not eating #social anxiety #fanfiction

[themiracleisstillwaiting]

shizaya

I love when my mutuals indulge me on my Shizaya Thirst. 

• when or if I started shipping it. Ever since I saw them on the opening and I’m not even kidding. I wish I was.

• my thoughts: Literally, almost every problem those two ever had (including some of the emotional ones) would be fixed if they could find something like a peaceful coexistence. A Truly peaceful coexistence. That could be by just being companions, snarky friends or being a couple (this last one, Im just saying, IM JUST SAYING). 

But at the same time, it just… wouldnt be them, if they didnt have passionate  feelings for each other. So much of their characers, of their actions, of their feelings, of their personality, was build because of their meeting, because of their contact with each other. This is why I cant really see them being close friends without, somehow, falling in love. Or becoming destructive/self destructive again.They’re literally incapable of being indifferent to each others very existence. Not, at least, without taking a huge toll of their energy.

• What makes me happy about them: They’re on each other’s mind all the time and thats canon. Izaya costantly mentions Shizuo when talking about his only exception on his sick, twisted love for humanity. Scratch that, Izaya mentions and talks about Shizuo all the time when nobody asks. 

 Shizuo is reminded of his own brother when he sees Izaya’s little sisters. I though that connection was odd to have with someone you hate; to be reminded of the positive bonds in your life, by remembering the ones your enemy has. At some point in the novels, on Shizuo POV, when he’s wondering about his past, in which everyone was afraid of him, he specifically remembers Izaya as the one who didnt. And then Narita immediately goes “but he was a man! no homo”.

Besides that, they complement each other. In personalities, in color palettes (I draw! Leave me alone!), in actions. They polarize each other on a perfect way inside the narrative.

• What makes me sad about them: WAHT DOESNT MAKES ME SAD ABOUT THEM, I SHIP THESE GUYS ENTIRELY TO SUFFER, IT SEEMS. 

They’re both very lonely. And its due to their own unchanging nature. And they have a very difficult relationship with bonds. Y E T they seek for bonds, each one on their own way. Izaya by rejecting them and creating his own rules about his relationship and dynamics with people. Shizuo, by accepting his loneliness while at the same time accepting he yearns for connecting with others.

They’re both very sad, deeply lonely characters and due to that I think they do understand each other on a level no other character is able to. (Shinra sees it, but from a detached point of view.)They seem to deny it and push it, though.

Obvs, at the end of the novels Shizuo gets better (but at what cost?).

They’ll never be completely happy or free until their conflict reaches an satisfiable end and I do hate the fact Narita pulled away from that at the last fucking second, after an entire, intense and ultimately useless build up.• things done in art/fic that annoys me:

- When they’re already on a stablished relationship but Shizuo is constantly brute and hurtful. So unnecessary. Especially when, on the plot, is constantly uncalled for, when Izaya has barely done anything to be an acceptable target.There’s a difference between this and being snarky, and I cant see Shizuo not being devoted and compromised with a person he’s in a relationship with. Also, because its usually justified that, despite how brute, uncaring and hurtful he acts, “Izaya knows Shizuo loves him”, which is just…. Yeeeaaah, guys, being treated like shit by somebody you do know loves you, doesnt necessarily makes things better.  The same thing for Izaya taunting Shizuo or provoking him on a distressful manner.

((Its not like I dont want conflict in their relationship, but if I start to wonder wtf those people are even doing together, then you’re not handling writing them on a “relationship”. Relationships are supposed to have nice moments once in a while.))

- When people go ~~dark and gritty~~ and cant decide if they love or hate each other, and then tropes like rape and abandonment and emotional abuse are evoked. Dont do that shit if you dont know what you’re going to do with those plot elements.

- People are usually way too afraid of going far with Izaya’s character (which is such a waste, he’s the character to go far with.), afraid of making him OOC and getting him wrong (which I kind of get it). And then they go T o o F a r with Shizuo’s one instead, making him IDK kill people, be angry with everyone 100% all the fucking time, eat 92059482 cakes, act stupid and unthoughtful, and generally being dumb or selfish, which is just… Ok, but what happened with the Silent Shizuo, who honeslty ponders over things while walking the street, and is kind with people he cares about??

 • things I look for in art/fic: Well written Smut To Be completely honest.   Its been months I havent read fics of those two but I used to read all the time. . But  I was usually up to any kind of trope as long as the author made it work.

Oh! Things around their relationship with their siblings or Raijin schoolmates. It honestly surprises me the lack of it.

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:  I’m not a multishipper with Shizaya, man. Its all or nothing. Cant see them fitting well (and being honestly happy and peaceful and at ease) with anyone else.

• My happily ever after for them: So many. One in which they slowly learn how to trust each other and how to lean on each other (after, I assume, a lot of heartbreak). One in which, by loving each other and accepting each othe’s love, they learn how to love themselves, for who they happen to be. And then, they get a puppy. 

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity? Play videogames. Imagine those two playing Mario Kart, how fucking competitive wouldnt it be??   They usually end up yelling at each other, at the end. But the fun, overexcited, kind of yelling. 

Also talk, just … talking. Izaya loves to babble on, about philosophy and whatnot, but Izaya also talks about the russian literature he’s read, his favorite authors, his favorite theories, the random trivia knowledge he posses for which he has no use for (”did you know Shizu-chan, that [random useless fact about caterpillars]” “…. …. ..hmm, caterpillars are cute” “are they?? no, theyre not.” “yes, they are.”.).  Shizuo just listens. He likes listening him. Shizuo would also confide him things. Slowly and in parts. Like his feelings of loneliness, his feelings of guilt, his complicated emotions towards his brother, towards his failures, his fights, his violence. Things that make him feel awful but dont anymore. Izaya wouldnt judge, he’s done and thought worse. Izaya would know better how to put into words, talk with Shizuo about myths of monsters, of heroes. Of psychology theories. Fill the silence after every confession, knowing hes doing so and why hes doing so until he gets a laugh out of Shizuo, or leaves him at ease.

Also, maybe watching cartoon when Akane and the Twins come to visit. Izaya overanalyses them or falls asleep, no middle term. Shizuo just enjoy them and makes tea for Akane.

Eat out at the Russia Sushi. Meet up with their siblings for awkward karaoke nights (Kasuka’s idea.). 

Shizuo cooks for Izaya. Shizuo moves in cuz Izaya’s place is nicer. Izaya remodels his kitchen solely for him and Shizuo to cook more confortably. 

Shizuo makes breakfast while Izaya is asleep. He hums or sings while making tasks. Izaya loves hearing his voice from the other room. He could always tease Shizuo about it but he doesnt because he doesnt want Shizuo to stop doing it.

#shizaya #durarara #drrr talk #orihara izaya #ty! i know u dont ship it so this was really nice of u #long post #text heavy #how do you english #the otp #otp talk #isa talks headcanons

[a-baleful-howl]

7.07 Thoughts

First off - the leaked scripts were real. It was actually pretty annoying. I felt like I was watching the episode twice. I hope Season 8 doesnt have a lad leaker. I really do. I enjoy watching the episodes raw. And lets be completely, dead honest here - I would not have known about the leaks or seen them accidentally if I wasnt as active on Tumblr. At least on Reddit I can choose to avoid certain subreddits. On tumblr, if someone posts a spoiler there is absolutely no way of blocking it preemptively. I dont want to have to leave Tumblr next season... My sister (the family that is visiting right now, that I posted about not too long ago that we do not get along), doesnt watch GoT because she doesnt have HBO. She keeps up via snapchat and posts on Facebook. She thought that Longclaw blinking was super important, if that helps you understand how she keeps up with GoT. In gifs and screaming southerners on facebook. Anywho, when Jon said he pledged himself for D@ny, my sister leaned over and whispered "that made her super horny." Yes. I didn't see "horniness" in Danish Pastries eyes, but that was literally what was written in the leaked script - so obviously it translated to a very VERY casual viewer. So I asked her it she thought Jon was in love with D@ny and she acted like I was crazy for even asking. Obviously he likes her. Like a boy is mean to his crush on the playground, she said. That didn't make me feel much better. Honestly, I dont think Emilia is a bad actress. I think she plays stern, cold boss bitch very well. Or screaming entitled delusional girl. (which I honestly mean because Emilia is such the opposite in real life) And when directors told her to play heart eyes, she did heart eyes. I dont think shes a bad actress. I just find D@ny as a character boring now. Up until saving the Wight Hunters, she hadnt done anything redeemable or "good" since maybe Season 2-3. Anywho- off track. All this talk about honor and keeping his word and being Ned Starks "son" really struck me. He promised to fight for the north no matter the odds. So him pledging to D@ny is his own way of protecting the north. Protecting his family. But how can he talk about honor and keeping his word if he's secretly undercover? I really think he's being sacrificial. Thats something Jon would do. Give up his dreams and personal gain to save everyone. When Cersei, the coldest, baddest, most heartless bitch in all of Westeros, talks about how seeing just ONE wight made her fear for the ones she loves - imagine how JON FEELS seeing thousands of them. He is AFRAID for his family. He will so whatever it takes to protect Sansa, Arya, Bran and the North who chose him as their leader. I dont know if Jon realized immediately, that once Viserion died the NK had him. If Jon did, then that absolutely would have put him on express mode. Now - one big thing when Jon was with Ygritte and the Wildlings, is that they ALWAYS said "burn my body so I dont end up like them." I can just imagine Jon remembering those words every time he thinks of Sansa, Arya and Bran or the coming walkers. That he doesnt want his loved ones to turn into wights - because it was even what the wildlings feared most. Its a fate worse than death. He burned Ygritte. He's burned so many people so they dont turn into wights. He is trying to save his family from that morbid fate. Then we have Theon and Jon talking. So - I think Jon's "it might look that way on the outside" is a hint at his undercover/sacrificial ways. But, whats also really interesting to me, is that Theon brings up RAMSAY. And Jon narrows his eyes like "yea, tell me more about that monster who hurt my Sansa." As if he wants to hear about Ramsay and what Theon went through - as if to understand Sansa more. To get more insight on what happened to her. Theon bringing up Ramsay would make Jon think about Sansa here. And they're talking about THEON saving his SISTER. And Jons response is "why are you talking instead of doing? What are you waiting for?" YES. YES. YES. Jon is so sure that the right thing to do is to put yourself in danger to save your family - your sister. He doesn't think about it. His answer is instinctual. Because thats what hes doing now. JUST DO - dont think. His answer is everything to me. SO MUCH. SO MUCH. Sansa didnt seem that upset when Petyr suggested Jon wants to marry D@ny. Which to me says Sansa has NOT considered a romantic relationship with Jon - YET. And what usually happens in romantic plots, is that theres an awakening moment that brings one of the interests to realize what they want. Maybe this is Sansas wake up call. That the idea of Jon marrying another leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. But we dont see full on jealously in this episode, really. At least I didnt. Okay - now to boatsex. We have a brief moment of Jon standing in front of her door before knocking. He goes TO HER. Which bothers me. I just cant imagine canon!Jon initiating sex with anyone. Hes too noble and honorable. Sex outside of marriage? Possible bastard babies? Reading signs wrong? But this could be a moment where hes deciding - welp, I have to do this to earn her undying loyalty for good. Im not completely sold on ignoring my "he'll fuck the first girl who isnt his sister" or "he has to prove something" headcanons either. I mean, I believe he is giving into D@nys affections because he has nothing else to lose. Sansa is his sister. D@ny is beautiful. And Jon might see something good in her, especially after she has postponed her quest for the throne to save mankind - but deep down their characters are so different that HOW could he really be in love with her? And the fact that their sex scene is over cut with exposition and dialogue means that this scene is more than just a romance. Its a plot point. It has to be spelled out. Its still mysterious. D@ny is in love, but Jon? Jon searches into her eyes as if he has to convince himself to stay hard. I think Jonsa is endgame - but the real question here is, does he love Sansa or D@ny? Will he love both? Or does he love neither? I have more posts about the other characters this episode, the writing, and the problems soon. This is just my quick post episode Jonsa reaction. My phone is at 4% so I will have to come back later. (OMG PLEASE DONT DIE ON ME) Lets just say that I think JonxD@ny is fanservice, and that we shouldnt trust D&DBs writing completely or write any possible outcome and plot turn off. And love each other, we have fanfiction and remember they are fiction. (but Jonsa is endgame ;) ) OH- And "the dragon and the wolf"? The writers obviously thought they were being clever to get a double meaning out of a title, about Rheagar and Lyanna and Jon and D@ny. Doesnt mean theyre a couple - theyre just the most important plot reveal this episode. :p

#jonsa #actuallyjonsa #jonxsansa #jon x sansa #episode reaction #7.07 #original #me

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u. #FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

[bangzchan]

au where isak is moving out and even’s the guy who helps with that/taking his stuff to his new place and while theyre outside packing into the car, isak hears a familiar voice greet him and he freezes and turns around and its julian, his ex, holding another boy’s hand and isak screams inside but puts on a smile “hey julian. what are you doing here?” and julian looks at his boyfriend, “we’re on a house hunt. moving in together” and isak clenches his jaw bc fuck that, THEY were supposed to do that months ago before they broke up. then he looks back at isak “and you? moving out?” and isak panics and doesnt think twice about what he’s saying, “yeah actually im moving out to move in with my boyfriend” and he wishes he could take it back or just run but he stands still and julians like “boyfriend?” and isak wants to wipe that smirk off his face, “where is he then?” and then isak hears the car door close and then even is walking towards them with a smile, work finished, and isak just. “here.” and even stands next to isak and is looking between him and julian, “hm?” and isaks like “this is even, my boyfriend. im moving in with him” 

and he’s SO glad he remembered his name when he introduced himself that morning and even, without any hesitation, holds out a hand for julian to shake, “nice to meet you, uh sorry, who are you again?” and julian clenches his jaw, “julian. his ex.” and even smirks, “oh! didnt hear that much about you” and puts an arm around isaks waist and okay wow. he’s really thankful for even but also his hand holding his side feels weirdly good. and then julian’s boyfriend introduces himself too and then theyre just looking at each other until julians like, “how long have you been together” and isak and even a different length at the same time and fuck, isaks not convincing enough (and he shouldnt be, why is he trying) “we dont really care about that. we just enjoy each other” and julian hums, “we should have a double date” and even’s thumb presses deep into his skin, but isak is too quick to reply with a “yeah, totally” and he hates himself and julians boyfriend is furrowing his eyebrows but they leave with afterwards with “see you on friday then. i’ll text you the place” and then when theyre alone, even is looking at isak, “not sure i can do friday” and isak shakes his head, “no,of course, i’ll just make up an excuse. sorry for dragging you into this”.

and then on thursday morning isak gets a call and its from even, “so i got tomorrow off and..i could go to that date with you?” and isak has been pacing in his new flat for hours and he’s so thankful but tries to be chill, “i mean if its not trouble” and even laughs, “should be fun, honey!” and isak groans, “dont call me honey” and evens like “okay then, can i call you ..hm..baby?” and shit ,that sounds really good coming from his mouth. so isak nods, then realizes even cant see him so he chokes out a “that will do”.

and come friday, the four of them sit in a restaurant, silently and awkwardly waiting for their food and then isak and julian start talking about an old thing and even grabs isaks thigh under the table and isak faces him and even leans in to whisper in his ear, “if you want to get over him dont talk to him like youre still together. now act like i said something sexy” and isak is flustered and a shiver makes its way through his whole body as evens lips brush isaks earlobe and he doesnt have to act. even turns back to the other two, “sorry i couldnt resist. he looks so hot in this buttonup” and julian squints his eyes with a forced smile. 

then later when even is walking isak home (”its okay, i have time”) they are laughing about the whole date, even making fun of julians jealousity and isak is over him (or he likes to think so. he’s really not, though) and then theyre standing in front of isaks flat and evens like “is this where i kiss you?” and isaks eyes widen and even chuckles, “im just kidding” and isak wishes he wasnt. even walks away with a “thanks for tonight, baby” and laughs and isak spends the night trying to fight the grin spreading across his face

a week later then when isak has almost forgot about all this, he’s walking down the stairs and runs into julian and theyre both taken aback and isaks like “why..are you here?” and julian chuckles, making isaks heart ache, “we rented the flat on the second floor..didnt know you live here?” and isak swears in his head but smiles, “what a small world!” and then excuses himself and almost runs out the building, texting even, “hey sorry for bothering but im in trouble if you know what i mean” and even texts him back like 10 questions marks and a “did you kill someone??”and isak laughs out loud, getting looks from strangers on the street then tells him what happened. and they meet up later that day at a café and before isak could take a sip of his coffee, even talks “so you want me to continue be your fake boyfriend?” and put it that way, it sounds silly and childish but isak nods, hiding his face behind his cup. and even sits back in his chair, “do i have to live with you or?” and isaks like “you could come over only a few days a week? or something..” and even seems to think about it long then laughs, “why the hell not. im looking for a place anyway”

so he comes over a few times, but that turns into 5 days a week when julian comes over on a wednesday and friday and even’s not there both times, and then sometimes he spends the whole week (totally only because julian could knock on the door any time and isak isnt strong enough to be alone for that) but they sometimes (most of the time) forget about the reason even’s staying. they become really good friends and its surprising but in a good way and isak really likes even, and he finds himself not thinking about julian that often but when isak comes home one day to even cooking in only his sweatpants with the radio on, he realizes why he hasnt been thinking about julian that much. because he’s been thinking about even instead and he tries to shake that off and act as casual with him as he’s done before but it doesnt really work, especially when theyre having their movie night and evens head ends up in isaks lap and isak has to fight the urge to run his fingers through his hair. even doesnt seem to realize how isaks breath hitches each time he steps too close.

then one night julian and his boyfriend invite them and a few other friends over and isak ends up drinking a few shots and even has a few beers too and then theyre sitting in a circle and before isak realizes, they are in the middle of the “make out game” andwhen its their turn, evens eyes are telling him its okay ,they dont have to do it but isaks drunken mind says fuck it and he leans in and theyre kissing and isak is dizzy and doesnt want to stop and evens hands are on his neck and holy shit its the hottest kiss isak has ever had in a long time. he drinks after that and somehow forgets that happened

until next day when even brings some water and painkillers in for isak and isak cant look into his eyes and his heart feels like its gonna jump out his chest and even is sitting on his bed and then hums, “so last night was interesting” and isak downs the whole glass of water slowly, trying to gain himself some time and then he looks at even, “yeah? dont really remember anything man” and he sees evens face drop and isaks heart does the same but then evens lips quirk up in a painfully fake smile, “yeah me neither” then leaves the room with a “hope your head is okay” and isak is ??confused. bc he doesnt think even ever felt the same but this did make it look like he did but isak doesnt know what he’s supposed to do about it. so he doesnt do anything and ignores the topic, acts like nothing happened.

and then even stops coming over and doesnt answer isaks calls or texts and isak is mad at himself for fucking up whatever they had and julian asking where even is makes it harder and he’s annoyed and sad and still confused but mostly in love with even. so when on his way home he sees even putting furnitures and boxes into a car at a house, he steps up to him with a racing broken heart and when even sees him, isak feels his heart break into more pieces and he misses the smile on evens face. and he wants to talk to him but evens just “i really gotta work, we’ll talk another time?” without looking at isak and fuck, that really hurts. but isak goes home.

and after he finds out from evens best friend that even kept talking about isak and how that kiss made him sure that he loved isak, he goes over to even’s and that night even tells isak he’s bipolar and isak has an idea of what it means, though he’ll make sure to learn more about it, and he tells him its okay and his arms wrapping around evens worn out body that night makes even believe that it IS okay and when they go back to isaks flat, even is bringing more clothes than he’s brought before. and isak running into julian two weeks after that feels funny bc isak realizes if it werent for him turning up in his life this many times, he wouldnt have even waiting for him in their flat and isak just pats julians shoulder and greets him with a wide smile and almost skips while walking out to the street, going to the nearest bakery to bring some food home, for him and even

#this got way too lONG #shut up viki #au