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fieri-sentio-et-excrucior · 4 months

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@10holmes Thanks for the 'Get to know your fic writer!' ask! :) As my answer got lengthy (of course), I thought best to make a separate post. Answers are under the cut.

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

I like both, but I tend to lean more towards one-shots. When I get a bug for a story, I’m kinda desperate to get it down asap so multi-chaptered fics are harder as they take more time and planning and, especially, patience. That said, I really enjoyed writing The Prisoner of Jinlintai and The Tamed and was really surprised I managed to write – and finish! – such long, multi-chaptered stories. I hope I can do so again in the future 😊

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

All over the place! From the original canon, from memes and gifs online, from meta and headcanons other fans share, from songs, from dreams… Sometimes ideas just spring unexpectedly but fully formed into my head. That moment of inspiration is always exciting – but then it’s got to be transferred to paper, which is harder :D

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I think emotional scenes are ones I struggle with a bit. I often feel my writing ends up a bit clunky and melodramatic! But I try to put myself in the characters’ shoes and imagine how they would feel in that situation, their reactions to other characters’ words and actions. I think though, however unintentionally, my own personality probably seeps into the characters to a certain extent, which I know is not ideal! Particularly when I write Xue Yang, I often think I hold him back too much when he would probably fly wild 😉

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Hmm, probably either Priceless or Life Imitates Art, as they’re both a bit taboo!

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Hmm, it varies from time to time. Sometimes I binge fics and don’t read anything for ages, sometimes I’m so caught up in the stories in my head that I don’t read anything at all. But probably on balance, I’m primarily a reader. There have certainly been long periods of time in the past when I’ve barely written anything at all but have devoured loads of fics. It just happens that more recently I’ve developed an obsession with The Untamed and have had the time, energy and inspiration to indulge in writing again (which has been a joy!).

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Only a very small group of irl friends know I write fic. I discovered fanfic in my teens, started writing it myself in 2012 and never told anyone about it until last year. Sometimes I see on tumblr people saying their mum or their sister etc read their fics and I’m always amazed – I think that’s wonderful! I can’t imagine telling anyone in my family about the things I write – let alone allowing them to read it! Esp the explicit stuff :O I’d die of embarrassment lol. And they’d probably die of shock!

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from The Prisoner of Jinlintai story/chapter?

Ooh, difficult question! I think there are lots of parts I really like from TPOJ, I’m pretty proud of that story (if I may say so!). I think chapters 25 & 29 are particular favourites, probably for similar reasons – ch25 is the first time XXC stays overnight in XY’s room, they’ve got frisky before but this time there’s more emotion behind it, and it’s preceded by XY actually being concerned about XXC and taking care of him. And in ch29 we get a glimpse of XXC being concerned about XY when he’s late back from his work, and then the scene when XY arrives back and finds XXC asleep in his bed, all calm and peaceful and beautiful. And XY is kind of struck dumb, surprised to find him there, unsure of his own reaction, but in the end just crawls into bed and falls asleep with him in his arms. I envisaged that scene so clearly in my mind, saw XY walk slowly and cautiously through the darkness, all alert, and then suddenly stop at the sight of his bed, his eyes widening, his body frozen, his fingers twitching, wanting to touch… And then I really like the last paragraph of that scene:

The room was so quiet and still. Xiao Xingchen was warm in his arms. Xue Yang held him carefully, as though Xiao Xingchen was some fragile thing that would break if he wasn't careful enough. He felt strange; his heart was still doing some weird fluttering thing that made it slightly hard to breathe. Maybe he was just overtired. He brushed his lips against Xiao Xingchen's neck and closed his eyes.

Now I've waffled on way too much about myself lol :D But it was fun, thank you! <3

#ask game #fanfic ask game

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grendelsmilf · 2 years

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i really love ur writing on shakespeare! i was wondering if you had any thoughts on how it should be taught to schools, esp lower grades. remembering my own education we literally started and ended with a contemporary english translation of hamlet in 8th grade. feel like theres a lot of room for improvement there! ❤️

yes, definitely. "translations" into contemporary english are quite possibly the laziest way to teach shakespeare, and that's saying something.

when my brother first started reading shakespeare for school, i would read it aloud to him, and pause to discuss every scene, either when he asked me a question, or when i felt the need to interject. at first, he didn't understand anything that was going on, but by the time we finished the play, he was asking fewer and fewer questions, because he was comprehending more and more of what we were reading.

i first read shakespeare at a very young age with my dad, who read midsummer and r&j with me when i was like 5, and i definitely think reading aloud to/with kids will familiarize them with the language, which is written in iambs specifically because it flows well when spoken aloud.

hamlet is quite possibly the worst play to start children with, because it's very dense and ambiguous and inscrutable, and doesn't benefit from being read aloud quite as much as his others, because it's actually far more Poetry than Play (at least compared to his other plays). i recommend starting kids off with a play like the tempest, which is engaging, lucid, and doesn't overstay its welcome. plays like hamlet or king lear are definitely not easy reads for someone just dipping their toes into shakespeare, and i get why people whose only exposure to his works being that play in particular often go on to feel deterred and have no interest in pursuing the rest.

in my experience, starting kids really young (8th grade is also much too old imo) will help familiarize them with the language until that's no longer even a concern for them, but i might be a unique case because i did enjoy already shakespeare so much as a child, which obviously isn't true of everyone, even if you do expose them to it young. plus, english wasn't my first language, so it was easier for me to read the early modern syntax and not feel alienated, because it just felt like part of the english vocab and grammar structures i was already absorbing in my elastic little child brain as i was acclimating to the united states.

but yeah, as i said. reading aloud, exposure to the more Fun and fastpaced plays first, and also just generally putting genuine care and love into the experience have always worked well in my experience. i know a lot more about shakespeare than my father does now of course, but his genuine passion reading aloud to me as a child was probably formative in my love of literature since childhood, and i know that my passion for shakespeare has translated whenever i've taught his work to someone, young or old, esl or native english speaker, and they've grown to appreciate it too.

#cipherangel #asks #lol this might be incoherent but.

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rrxnjun · 2 years

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from here

Ohh so k-pop does get overwhelming at times like keeping up with all of their comebacks and activities does take a toll on the psyche 🤧 i took a small break of sorts back in 2021 just to get a breather and instead focus my energy on books :') the whole pandemic situation and the lockdown was beginning to get to me + i had to deal with an academic burnout but !! things are definitely better now.

OKAYY so it took me a lot of time to finalise a bias in nct dream and tbt all nct units unghhh i lobe them all but my nct dream bias as of now is renjun. this man has me wrapped around his finger and activates the heart eyes WDYM HE HAS A PRETTY VOICE HES AN ARTIST HE'S PRETTY HE'S SHARP TONGUED AND HE'S A TOTAL SWEETHEART LIKE HE'S SO CARING 100% BFF/BF MATERIAL :( FDIBCFBN GOD HAS HIS FAVOURITES ALRIGHT and oml don't even get me started w the yangyang and renjun interactions im still reeling from when they did this.

In 127 i have a soft spot for the vocal line lol so i usually bias whoever's in the vocal line for a particular song (DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO HARD TO CHOOSE THO). rn it's jaehyun bc I'm obsessed w his voice (it's his first few lines in good thing <33)

Oof faded in my last song just hits so hard and it hurts so bad the songs so deep. It's one of my favourite nct u songs that and baby don't like it (again. hoe anthems >>>) for 127 it's either heartbreaker (bc it's hyuck's world and we're just living in it) or good thing (bc jaehyun.) Basically love the limitless era. and for dream okayy i can't really choose but reload and boom era were both crazy good. as for wayv it's after midnight and maybee take off. Wbu what are your favourite eras/songs?

Ahh you're a carat ?? I've been trying to get into svt since hoshi's spider came out but it's still a work in progress :') Which all groups do you stan ?? (40k slowburns are segci and it's for Vernon?? sounds v interesting 👀)

and the yangyang fic's going to have angst okay thanks for the warning angst scares me but i find it beautiful (?) as a genre like whoa how do mere scenes and words strung up together in a completely different world make me feel so much. But again that's why i like reading in general. bonus points if i actually find the smth in the fic relatable :')

YUSSUH 5SOS SUPREMACY youngblood was THAT album yk. weird but their music and a few select songs from twenty one pilots and imagine dragons help me concentrate and actually solve calculus ... esp easier and good girls 😭 idk why tho and whahfkfkkg they came to your city ?? Djnffkfm most international artists usually don't come near South Asian countries ie the place where I live 🤧

and yes so i listened to a few more songs by waterparks but I'm obsessed with 21 questions. i can't stop putting it on loop 😭😭 fdhjk pls feel free to send in more song recs

p.s. i enjoy talking to you too to the point where i think i ramble a little too much hrkfjfnf Have a good day/night <3

SORRY FOR REPLYING LATE I SUCK AT HUMAN INTERACTION

kpop does get overwhelming sometimes dfkjlas but also i just kind of got bored for a bit so i didnt feel motivated to check up on it in so long,, but now i just found the excitement again and i feel the same i did when getting into it for the first time its so amazing. i got into kpop just before the pandemic started, so it was something that was keeping me going during the lockdowns and shit :) i am glad you're feeling better now, though!

OUR BIASES MATCH AAAAAAA #besties fdlksaj renjun is literally the love of my life i think us two are similar in a lot of things (our zodiac signs, personalities, interests, anger issues...) so i think loving him so much helped my selflove djfkla this sounds weird but its true to some extent?? AND DONT MENTION THE CAMPING TRIP VIDEO IN FRONT OF ME ITS MY COMFORT VID AAAAA everything abt it is so wholesome,,, their little karaoke sessions, the shopping, the cooking,, them switching languages every now and then,, also yangyang singing i'm gonna love you by d.o. is stuck in my head that moment felt special.

in 127 i tend to gravitate towards mark and hyuck but i cant really count them bc theyre my dream biases as well LMAO but if i exclude them, i'd say i bias doyoung? i have a soft spot for yuta as well haha and recently my head is full of jungwoo but i'm not gonna give that too much weight just yet it might be a phase we'll see

I LOVE HOE ANTHEMS AAAA no one does sexy songs like nct. no one can compare. period. my fav eras would probablyyy be hot sauce/hello future for dream i fucking love that era and i miss it so much it was comfort for me. hot sauce was the first album ive ever bought from my first ever paycheck haha<33 for 127 probably superhuman/kick it/punch era? altho i wasnt a stan back then yet,, so i didnt fully experience it and for wayv turn back time era!!

i AM a carat!! spider is so good oml truly a cultural reset. no one does it like kwon soonyoung. i stan quite a few groups i think?? my ults are definitely nct, seventeen and txt! i keep up w them the most:) and then i stan enhypen, stray kids and p1harmony, although i dont really watch their contents or anything anymore,, im more of a casual stan for them. wbu?

yesyes its an angsty one but its not that bad i think fklf i definitely wrote more traumatic fics than this one. there's actually a yy tiktok i saw that literally represents how i wrote him in this fic it fit so much uh god i'll show it to you if you're interested

SOLVE CALCULUS HDAKL thank god i dont have maths anymore<33 that was a real struggle. i used to have a twenty one pilots phase tbf but im glad its behind me now bc the tyler joseph now is not the tyler joseph i used to stan!:)) and nooo they didn't come to my city! i'm from slovakia and literally no one comes to slovakia so i get your sturggle. they came to krakow and vienna though and that's kind of close to me!

21 questions>>>>> literally one of the songs that inspired my yy fic. do you use spotify? i'll make you a rec playlist if you really want!

p.s. i really enjoy talking to you hihi i missed your asks hhhh please dont think you ramble too much bc i do too!! it shows that we are comfy w each other xx

#💌ask #ni 🌱

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chryzure-archive · 1 year

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🥺🤡😈✨💋⛔👀🎉🤯 For those fanfic asks!! <3

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

the inherent tenderness of cleaning the blood off another… of caring for them after they’ve gone on a murder spree… of tending to their wounds…. OH, also comforting someone after they’ve been possessed. THE POWER OF LOVE OVERCOMING CURSES AND SPELLS ALSO, BUT IT’S EXTREMELY DRAINING AND IT ENDS WITH BOTH CHARACTERS CLINGING TO EACH OTHER FOR DEAR LIFE, TAKING SOLACE IN EACH OTHER!!!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

she would shoot jacks for her own entertainment btw

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

oh, for sure. pretty much any sort of angsty foreshadowing is playfully mean, but the most recent example is probably the way i kept hinting at azure never drinking / eating in the october fic. initially it seems it’s out of his stress for chrysi, but obviously that’s not the whole truth…

also, whenever chrysi ignores jacks’s advances before she realizes he has feelings for her… it’s so mean! it hurts him! it’s very fun to watch everyone yell at her for not acknowledging his feelings :)

basically, everything is playfully mean when you enjoy writing painful scenarios 🖤

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

hmm, my writing is the exact kind of heartbreaking that i adore, mixed with a wry sense of humor 😌

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

i personally love writing first kiss fics w chrysi in particular, since she will have a first kiss with someone and then take about six more months to admit her feelings for them. she’s so fascinating in that regard.

chrysijacks first kiss fics are esp hilarious since it’s like. jacks going “oh my god… i’ve found my one true love…” and chrysi’s like “alright so back to business, since i felt absolutely nothing when we kissed 🖤” guys…

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

it’s not that i’ve scrapped them, it’s jst more of the fact that i don’t know if i’ll ever have the time to write all of them, buuut i think most notably would be my ella enchanted chrysijacks au… i’ll probably jst post the scene where she almost stabs him and leave it at that. all the other snippets i’ve written will go in my unfinished folder 🤧

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

obviously i’ve said this before, but i��m working on the jacks origin story fic as of right now. it’s about jacks and his friendship with chrysi and the way it all devolves as she hides her disease from him + as she falls in love with azure. i also explore the deal he made with the fallen star after azure and chrysi both die and how that correlates with his fear of being unimportant and his fear of dying.

basically, i’m character-studying jacks and writing yet another angst soulmates story with chryzure.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

if it makes me want to wail into my pillow as i write it (affectionate), and if it gives me a clear mental image of the scenes playing out, AND IF I ACTUALLY FINISH IT… it is a success 🖤

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

hmm… i think action might be the hardest for me to write? i’m a very visual writer (everything is like a movie in my head), and it’s hard to get camera angles / shot-editing / a visual medium to explain disorientation across in a written medium instead.

in the same vein, i find adventure to be a bit difficult too… i can’t explain it, but action-adventure has never been my niche. i like a slower pace in my writing. lots of character moments rather than scenario moments!

#.asks #m.filly✨#jacks is a character i like to put under a microscope at all times #tbh i feel like i understand his driving motivations and fears the best 🖤 i’m jst right abt everything wrt him….

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writingonesdreams · 2 years

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Hello, hello, and happy sts to you, Dreams~! I hope you're having a lovely one.

So, I've noticed you kind of touching up on subjects similar to this set of questions, and it's made me curious, as I usually am, because I know our processes tend to be very different and I was wondering how you faced these things.

What scenes do you find the most fulfilling to write? What does it take for you to be proud of a particular piece of your own writing? How do you try to balance out what makes you happy with a story and what you feel is best for the story? How do you determine what is best for a story? And what is the goal you have with your stories? Last week indicated that you preferred stories that have meaning, how do you balance out the meaning with the scenes you find fun to work with and how do you keep it from feeling overbearing?

And as a bonus - How's the writing going? Any fun updates you want to share? ^^

Happy STS Ren! Haha this feels like a detailed ask game ^^ Here is your read more, my lady, since this turned into an essay. :D

What scenes do you find the most fulfilling to write?

Right now? Hurt/comfort scenes. Affection. Show of love and dedication and care, esp between friends which I consider the purest form of love.

What does it take for you to be proud of a particular piece of your own writing?

When I have thought a lot about it, put a lot of effort in it and while writing, something clicks. It's either very close to how I envisioned it or it took a bit different direction, but I like the development. The first excitement is important, but if I return to the scene a day or three later and still like it, I feel like I can be proud of the scene.

How do you try to balance out what makes you happy with a story and what you feel is best for the story?

That depends on your definition of a story. I define story as a piece of writing with a beginning, middle and end that is the result of many smaller pieces that give the end image a resolution. Something is setup, something happens, and that something lead somewhere, leaves the reader with a feeling, a message, a thought, an impression that wouldn't have been possible without every single scene of that particular story.

So what I feel is best for a story is having this structure, this ending, the resolution feeling and message after finding it.

What makes me the most happy about a story is writing scenes that personally fulfill me, entertain me or that give a voice to thoughts or struggles that I'm dealing with. Scenes that make me happy are a joy to read and reread, and I can return to them for comfort or for self-indulgent pleasure.

So scenes that make me personally happy are not necessarily what's best for the story. Basically the story is created to justify and give meaning to the scenes that make me happy. To give them context, setup and the emotional power I want to leave the reader with, so that the topic or scene can influence them.

How do you determine what is best for a story?

The story has an aim. It has a target audience. It has a frustration it wants to address and thoughts it wants to suggest as solution. So what's best for the story? All the things that support the aim of the particular story.

And what is the goal you have with your stories?

Every story is a bit different. With most of my wips I had a very clear agendas in mind. My brainstorming process starts with elements and messages/themes I would like to deal with in writing that particular story. That's why I could write elaborate metas and analysis of my wips before they even get written - I have them all thought out from the analytical point of view. I could write explanations and aims and symbolism to no end, but I learned stories themselves have much more power and impact than an analysis will ever have. (At least for most people and general audiences - it's different in scientific writing and the scientific community and that's why I love it).

The trouble is though, that with analysis of the story done and the scenes played in my head, I tended to lose motivation to actually translate all these theses into the stories designed for the impact. XD. Tears of Iron is the first wip I have forced myself to only outline loosely, that I outline as I go, that I actively change, with adding and deleting scenes, doing new versions of the outline and zooming in on particular sections of the outline as I get ideas for them or change them. Outline has become a dynamic helpful tool for collecting suggestions and not a fixed in the stone official document.

I believe that by writing this way, I'm also letting my unconscious instinctual brain express itself more, that I'm reaching unknown depths and feelings of myself that I'm not aware of (and it's very important to me to be self-aware and I'm often the subject of my human studies).

So what is the goal? The goal is to express what I'm aiming to chew through, sometimes to voice thoughts and doubts, sometimes to work through struggles, sometimes to work through what kind of opinion I really have about a topic/question. The aim is to make people think about these themes, to see what they think about them. It's my contribution to the dicussion of the theme in a form the human brain is naturally wired for and considers fun instead of work (as most people are not willing to think about things as deeply as I do).

It's my way to start a conversation with the universe and anyone who I can draw in to listen.

Last week indicated that you preferred stories that have meaning, how do you balance out the meaning with the scenes you find fun to work with and how do you keep it from feeling overbearing?

My goals are starting a conversation, communicating, contributing, in making people think and feel and realize things they might be struggling with too. This is my goal that then comes into conflict with the pure self-indulgence. With scenes that I like because they fulfill something deeply emotional in me, and when they do, it really doesn't matter to me if they have higher intellectual meaning or not. I guess the intellectual parts clash with the emotion, as I'm a person who likes to use the first one to understand the other.

And because I'm used to skip episodes and read spoilers and check if the story ends the way I would like before starting it, if it has the elements I'm looking for, starting shows because of gifs and clips that intrigued me; because I read fanfics for specific scenes and don't care about the plot and the setup and the nonsense people call realistic or logical. This possibility of shortcut modern age allows my emotional needy sides get their fill and then allows me to analyze why I like these things, when I get angry they don't have any meaning or justification and why are they even resonating with me so much with so little context and plot and badass scenes and stuff, that other people like, while I skip the plot?

But maybe my emotional needs aren't all that weird and shameful as I have come to believe. I have been reading into hurt/comfort metas and even scientific research about the genre a lot these days and talked it over with my parents and it might be turning out I'm just a young adult woman really desiring connection, trust, intimacy and relationships. And that I like tv series that have no plot but slice of life drama relationships as their focus and that maybe I just concentrated on the wrong kind of genres. Or I changed as a person as I grew up.

Anyway, how do I balance meaning with the personally self-indulgent scenes? Until now, I wrote my elaborate metas and explanations privately in my writing diary or discussed it with close writer friends. This keeps my stories from becoming preachy. I write more impulsively and emotionally to let the story express what I feel without me translating it and analysing it before I do so. Helps to keep it emotional instead of analytical, more suited for storytelling.

I want to try a writing experiment to write a story purely through those hurt/comfort and emotional scenes. A tears of iron AU in a scifi war setting that would be told purely through the aftermath, with vague backround plot. (What do you think about the idea? Does it sound plausible/possible at all?)

Maybe I could write it for the whumptober prompts to get more involved with the hurt/comfort community that I wouldn't feel so self-conscious and shy in front of as I feel here.

Here I wanted my stories to have meaning, proper beginning and an end, where I want to draw in more people? This is a very specific target audience - although it's questionable if it's truly small, since whump scenes are popular in mainstream so something about it just be appealing to people. Or maybe it's because I wanted my stories to be meaningful and I still do, and maybe I have made wrong promises and attracted people who aren't the right audience, as the parts I feel the most connection to get kinda put down.

So the balance is getting explored right now. XD I want to see if I can pull such a story off, if it's fulfilling and if it makes sense for anyone else outside of me. If I can write self-indulgently, create what I crave myself while also writing a story I could be proud of in front of others. It would be more revealing and person and more painful and sensitive I imagine.

Does it make sense? Do you feel anything similar about stories like I do? Thank you for giving me this impulse to write this through, it was really cathartic to put it all into words. This is kinda how my writing diary looks like tbh XD

Thanks for stopping by Ren and giving me questions that show you listen and care about the answers <3

#writeblr #sts #spilled ink #writing meta #personal #writing process #hurt/comfort

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moe-broey · 2 years

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@clover-fieldss I can delete this if it's embarrassing lmfao BUT I WANTED TO SAY. You are absolutely so fucking right about this, put it into words well too!!!

Like w Genshin the most you get is different heights and bust sizes for the women lmfao, so far Itto is the only guy who's muscular (and even then, you look at Itto's art and model and then you look at FEH art for like Mustafa and there's. A difference there!). And there is the aspect of Genshin characters being 3D models, but I almost feel like that should make having more variety easier going forward if you just establish a new body type? Bc you can tell characters tend to have the same model, with just a few adjustments maybe to height or face (like I think it's really noticeable when you look at Ayato and Zhongli side by side, and Kazuha and Aether).

And also!!! Given that we are getting a new body type actually, come Sumeru, that sort of shows like yes it ofc it would take some work behind the scenes but it can be done! Kusanali and Dori having the new body type, which is shorter and smaller than the short girls (like Yanfei) but taller than the babies (Qiqi and such). So it is doable! (Hell, also. Thinking more. There are NCPs who are fat, both men and women! So like why not work off their models to create some playable characters and go from there!)

Unfortunately, I think it just has everything to do w like. What's profitable, and some really shitty attitudes about fat people that are noticeable in Genshin (a lot of girls have lines about being careful about how much they eat and like. I hate it lmfao girl I'm begging you to enjoy yourself and live comfortably). BUT ALSO LIKE. And I'll say this about how I Really Wish They'd Make More Black/Brown Characters Too. If you're a company w an extremely popular and profitable gacha, with like one million fucking characters, girl you can afford to throw in some variety. ESPPP w how Genshin's banners work, how there's always the five star who's the main focus and then three four stars alongside them. Like if you're REALLY worried about profits, put a character you're worried about not doing so well for whatever reason next to the shiny five star and bam. People will pull for the five star anyway. The worst you'll get I think is like, some weirdos being extremely weird about it in shitty corners of the internet.

BUT. Yeah. I just have v strong feelings about this sort of thing w Genshin in particular, maybe cause I feel like there's a lot of untapped potential. And also bc I do really love how the characters are designed as well. I esp love the variety in the men, where I feel like other gachas/franchises in general just aren't doing it the way Genshin is? Like w FE you def have gnc men, but they tend to fall into specific tropes (like the pretty blondes that are often mistaken for women, Libra, Lucius, Forrest, and the purple pretty guy who's mlm like Yuri and Leon). There are certainly others who fall outside of the tropes, like Soren, and some special outfits for characters that don't conform to masculinity (bunnyfonse and Valentine's Alfonse my beloved), but like. I can't really name a FE character who's gnc in the way Aether and Venti are, for example. And something else that I love about Genshin is you can have two guys who are gnc but each has their own way of portraying it that feels in line for them, that feels like it reflects on their personality (Aether and Venti again!!!).

I guess the TLDR here is it sucks to suck and we could've had it all LMFAOOO (AND in my heart Charlotte is buff as hell to the point where I forget she doesn't have visible muscles in canon. We could have had it all........... 😔😔😔😔)

#ALSO. no pressure to like reply to anything specifically or even interact LMFAOOO #you just inspired me like. i always have these thoughts rattling around in my brain #ALSO am not starting discourse for the record i hate that shit sooo much LMFAO i just. have thoughts and feelings 🙃#ALMOST tagged the oliver post w such thoughts and feelings and went like. damn if i do that i am never gonna shut up LMFAO #plus i was struggling to find words for it #where it wouldn't feel incredibly disorganized ykykyk. realized maybe i just needed to make a whole post about it LMAO #also! i included forrest in The Trope but i also think transfemme readings of forrest are based and correct #esppp if you're transfemme and forrest really resonates w you in that way!#any forrest is a good forrest in my book. i adore them 💖💖💖

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walkuntilthedaylight · 3 years

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The people have spoken! How can I not give them what they want?

I'm gonna put this all under a cut, since it's a bit long, and also because it's highly interpretative/speculative and not everyone likes those kinds of posts as they can be rather subjective and, I suppose, invasive. I want to give two major caveats to my thoughts below: first is that I tend not to buy the idea that Paul was the "stable/normal" Beatle, mostly b/c I view marijuana dependency and workaholism as addictions and I take them pretty seriously. Second is that I really do love this kind of tabloid/gossip/personal account shit; I think it should be taken with a handful of salt, but I don't think it should be entirely dismissed out of hand either. I read this stuff like I'm piling up sheets of stained glass: I'm intrigued by the places where the colours blend and overlap, and ignore things that fall outside the prism. Anyway, let's dig in:

Okay, so what I found fascinating about 'Body Count' is that it's one of the only sources which observes Paul McCartney's mental health during the period between the India trip and when the band breakup really got rolling. I think it's overall a fairly self-absorbed text that definitely has some lies and exaggerations peppered in there to make things spicier and more dramatic, but its broad characterization - as I mentioned in my first post - isn't exactly libelous or out of left field. Some elements that make me think it's generally if not wholly authentic are: Paul's simultaneously forceful and dorky seduction style, his terrible Liverpool diet and poor housekeeping, the bouts of thrill-seeking recklessness, avoidant adventure crafting, dark moods when drinking non-socially, the occasional hot and cold bouts with the Apple Scuffs camped out at his gate, and the way in which he underplays his drug habit, which is SO "in truthfulness we spent most of the filming of Help! slightly stoned":

These details are so bizarrely specific and have significant overlap with both sympathetic and spurned personal accounts of Paul I've read in the past, so I believe Francie is just telling "Her Version Of The Truth" here rather than crafting a piece of pure fiction. The most important and revealing anecdote in the book is this one.

There's no reason not to believe this is a fairly accurate representation of something that actually happened, imo, since we know that anxious purse strings were an ongoing issue in the unusual turnover rate within the band Wings, and there are plenty of confirmed and rumoured cases alike of extended family members feeling entitled to a "piece of the pie"; this is just like, the kind of thing that happens to working class people who get catapulted into fame and fortune. And Paul in particular already had deep-seated financial anxiety for whatever reasons he'll never fully admit (as is his right, but I think his offhand claim that he "once heard some adults arguing about money and that's why" might actually be alluding to having heard some adults - y'know, like his parents - arguing over money fairly frequently). What esp interests me about the anecdote is the way Paul seems to connect the conflict b/t his dual "identities" with these financial expectations. Perhaps the CAPSLOCK emotional hysteria related in the book is puffed up for drama, but it does bring to mind one of the most revealing comments Linda ever made about their relationship, which is that Paul needed to be told he would still be loved when the cameras weren't rolling. And that's the thing: Francie caught Paul at the exact moment that the pillars of his Smile-For-The-Camera "Beatle" identity were collapsing; the dissolution of his relationships with John and Jane.

Whatever all this could possibly mean re: the breakup of the Lennon-McCartney partnership is a post for another time. What I wanna do instead is apply the level of speculation we usually reserve for that relationship to the endpoint of Paul and Jane's courtship.

So like, Paul and Jane: I know people are resistant to this specific POV, but I honestly just don't... think it was that deep? "Not deep", mind you, doesn't mean "not significant". Paul was obviously Jane's first love (u never forget), but the feeling I get from Paul's side (as a subconscious process I mean) is that Jane's importance was primarily as a lynchpin in his London Socialite persona. He loved her family, he loved the friend group, the artistic scene dating her gave him access to, as well as the leg up he got in the class system, etc. He liked to be the kind of guy who was dating Jane Asher. But I don't know that he was the guy who was dating Jane Asher, you get me? When people describe their "great love" they accidentally tell on them (Cynthia innocently describing Paul as being pleased to have her on his arm like a trophy; John: "it was an ordinary love scene"; Alistair Taylor noting that Paul was humiliated by the breakup). Paul's a serial monogamist who U-Hauls like a lesbian, of course, so he definitely took the relationship VERY seriously, but it's telling that all of his love songs to her were either about hitting a brick wall in arguments (certainly not dreamy, fond, yearning of "sunday morning fights about saturday night"; and occasionally expressing hints of class tension too), or completely non-descript Guy With A Guitar Trying To Get Laid shit. I could extrapolate a lot about Linda just from listening to McCartney I/RAM and the Wings discography, but 'And I Love Her' doesn't tell me a single thing about Jane besides that she's pretty. It could be about literally anyone the same way 'My Love' or 'Maybe I'm Amazed' could only be about his dynamic with Linda. Some of this is obviously the natural result of getting older and gaining emotional maturity; what I'm saying is that Paul's behaviour and self-expression in this relationship does not suggest to me that it was one in which his emotional maturity was able to develop or flourish.

I want to stress again that I don't think this belittles the significance of the relationship or makes it "bad" or "fake". Like, sometimes hot people just date for a while in their teens and twenties and love each other without necessarily unlocking their inner emotional cores, usually because they don't know how to. It's, like, fine. You need to experience relationships like that as stepping stones. I simply believe that this sort of front-facing social importance being prime in the romance is a major factor in why it ultimately didn't work (and probably in Linda's reported lingering jealousy of Jane, who wasn't just an ex, but also a symbol of the life Paul ditched to build a new identity w/ her, and sometimes still pined for). With Jane, Paul was dating the "right" kind of girl (didn't put out on the first date, erudite and middle class, as serious about her career as he was, a good "celebrity" match), but the relationship often wasn't doing what he wanted it to do. Francie's observation is that by 1968 it also wasn't doing what he needed it to do either. This is the overwhelming "mood" in her affair with Paul McCartney: that he needed something very badly from a romantic partner that he just was NOT getting, and Francie couldn't figure out what it was either:

(note that she means "queer" as in "mad", not "gay")

This was an EXTREMELY roundabout way of asking: well, what WAS it that Paul needed a relationship to do for him? And I think this is Francie's big, accidental insight. The most scandalous claim in 'Body Count' is that Paul told Francie that he hit Jane and it "turned her on".

I personally think this is p. absurd absent any real proof to back it up, but like, what is Francie actually saying HE'S saying here? If she's exaggerating or lying, she's trying to make it believable within the psychological parameters laid out, right? It's not an expression of some secret desire to dominate women she's accusing him of, but emotional disturbance and confusion at the idea that the woman he was with might like that sort of forceful, masculine violence more than his softer, feminine side, which he was - yeah, we all know it - deeply insecure about.

Regardless of whether specific details are true or false (and I think there's both in this story, all hyper-magnified to make it, y'know, a ~STORY~), I think what might be true is the emotional undertow of the retelling, that this all taken together is actually representative of the side of Paul McCartney she was exposed to, at a time when his public and private facades had both become unbearable to the point of cracking and the drug-fueled optimism of the Summer of Love was getting scrubbed off of everyone and everything. It's the Paul McCartney who eviscerated frogs because he was worried he was too "soft" for compulsory military service. The Paul who modelled his masculine teen behaviour off John Lennon's fake "Marlon Brando" swagger, but was actually more fond of the velvet "Oscar Wilde" interior.

What's SO FASCINATING about all this to me, is I deeply believe that one of the key factors in what makes The Beatles music so unique and compelling is that both the songwriters experienced psychological strain from the tension b/t their parochial socially-defensive "masculine" pride, and their sensitive "feminine" core, the latter of which they were able to express in the unburdened emotionality of their music. The reason I care about doing these totally unhinged psych analyses is because I do think it reveals something about the underpinnings of the music, as well as the reasons why the band was such a hysteria-inducing phenomenon (the rise of psychology, imo, is almost as important as the rise of industrialization as a defining factor of the modern and postmodern eras; mass psychology can be understood and wielded in precise ways, and The Beatles were one of the first empires built on that). The subconscious drives caused by this tension have been ENDLESSLY picked apart re: John's psyche, but Paul's "mirrored" issues are very under-discussed (mostly b/c he's still alive so people are a little more leery about putting him on the "couch" as a historical figure). 'Body Count', intentionally or not, painted a portrait to me of someone who was drowning in their own ill-fitting celebrity "suit", collapsing under the weight of "Being" "Paul McCartney". A guy who desperately needed some sort of space to be vulnerable without feeling emasculated for doing it. By 1968, there was no one in his life anymore - and maybe there hadn't been for a while, or ever - who was giving him this space.

In other words: the thing he needed to avoid going "stark raving queer and killing himself" was simply someone who would love him 'after the ball'.

EDIT: read the comments for further clarification and discussion! ;)

#/#//#///#////#/////#the beatles #mccharmley #analysis #long post #Talking About Paul The Way I Talk About John lmfao #Taking Tabloid Bullshit Seriously #(if not literally)#*gets out my fake spectacles and jumps into the psychiatry armchair*#idk if i laid out my thoughts v well here but i hope it satisfied all the people who asked #i also tried to warn what genre of post it was for those who hate this kinda thing lol #i feel like i have more to say re: how toxic 'The Beatle' facade got for all of them by this point #and paul and john's mirrored post-india breakdowns #but francie's perspective is specifically on how it felt to be the girl he used to divebomb his relationship with jane asher SO

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳

Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?

🤗🌺💐🐰💕

Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3

lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD

I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.

So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.

I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.

Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".

In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.

Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.

Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.

Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.

He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.

So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.

I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.

I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.

In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!

Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).

It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao

As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.

I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.

Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.

P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.

#answered #jaecomments #zhang qiling #daomu biji #dmbj #lost tomb reboot #i still feel like i couldn't quite explain stuff lol #its a complicated question xD #do not kill me for my i guess weird opinions haha #huang junjie #xiao yuliang #lost tomb #pingxie

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washymylifeaway · 3 years

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Haikyuu Fanfic recs: bamf/spy AU ;)

Hello loves! ~~Here I am, once again, not finishing one of the other drafts that I have and making a different post~~ (meant to be sung with the make it shine tune) Pretending like you didn’t just read that, I am here to recommend some bamf/spy AU fics because currently, that’s my vibe LOL. No this will NOT have mafia (even tho they are bamf’s) because this is supposed to be spy/secret agent orientated :))))))) (I say this, but if they overlap, they overlap.)

Because of the nature of this list, many of these fics will prolly be a little/lot graphic with their depictions of violence so beware and be warned! I won’t put individual warnings cause like I said these are all a bit graphic in their own ways. That being said, let’s get down to business (cause Mulan IS a bamf) ;)

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading (ESP THIS LIST) and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Super Spy Husbands by leurauxe /IwaOi/ I LOVE THIS SERIES AKJASFDJK READ IT. It’s SO good and I love their actions scenes and the BACKSTORY OMFG THE BACKSTORY. The proposal fic was SO GOOD AAJSFJLS. Like everyone is done so well in these fics and the plot progression? YES PLEASE.

Hell Mission by codename_bewareofthefangirl (T) 22.7k /IwaOi/ okay IwaOi yes yes but Akaashi? MVP boys. It do be like that sometimes hehe. Anyway, the interactions between them (IwaOi and the whole squad) are gold. Also Iwa and the shower scene? Yes daddy ;)

sorry baby by sketchedsmiles (M) 34.3k /SunaOsa/ THIS!!! Okay you might be thinking wow this seems weird but just read it. I love the way their relationship slowly comes to be and like at the end SakuAtsu just knows ajkfhaldjf. Also when Osamu did the thing (at the hotel) I FREAKED OUT LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT but it’s okay. They fixed it :’)

bang! now we're even by Authoress (M) 11.9k /BokuAka/ yes you might recognize this from my other post LOL, but I really love this fic so here it is. AGAIN HEHE. Also, Akaashi in a dress? Like the tags might state, what more do you need? The characters are done beautifully, and the story development is SO good (like THE TWIST UGH).

hq detective AUs by valiantarmor /BokuAka, KuroKen, IwaOi/ again, from that same post EHEHE. Man do I really love fighting in my fics LOL. This was super good and the plot itself kept me really engaged (what a twist omg). It does talk a bit about mental health issues, but it’s done so well, and they really did this AU justice! The three fics can be read separately BUT they’re all done so well, I think you should read them all :)

The One With The Spies by hangoverhater /Multi (but mainly IwaOi)/ PLEASE,,, the fics in this series? HILARIOUS. THE SECOND FIC ”Well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “It’s a prison cell.” “I was being sarcastic.” HAD ME DYING. Poor Daichi, he really needs those days off :)))))

on the eighteenth by skittidyne (T) 5k /KuroKen/ I love fics where the characters are forced to face their feelings. This is one of those fics LOL. It’s done so well and the small details (as Kenma loves) are inserted really well. Like the first night where they fake doing stuff? Amazing LOL.

Punches by Sebastians_senpai (M) 1.5k /IwaOi/ hot Iwa hot bamf Iwa. Like entrance? Hot. Killing people? Hot. Anyway I want a boyfriend who will protect me if I get hurt. Can I be Oikawa? (you know being Oikawa would be an honor in itself)

just a boy undercover (and a boy with the getaway) by volchitsae (M) 14.1k /SakuAtsu/ twin fight rendition number idk but it’s good so whatever LOL. Is it really a SakuAtsu fic without one mention of a major twin fight? (probably yes but in this case no LOL) This one was SO good and I love how annoying Sakusa is >>>> for Atsumu. Also the acceptance at the end ajfakdlf HEART WARMED.

to crash in orbit by aceun (T) 2.8k /SunaOsa/ I LOVE BEING UNPROFESSIONAL ON THE JOB!!!!!! I adore how they know each other’s tendencies and how Osamu is like, I know he’s hot LOL. Also when they talked about Rome and Prague it made me laugh OMG. And RIP Osamu’s watch, worked hard never to be seen again LOL.

the unfinished kiss by Ellieb3an (E) 6.3k /SakuAtsu/ I told myself, less or no smut, but here we are. Honestly you’d think I learn I never stick to my own rules LOL. Anyway, this is SPICY so avoid if you don’t like smut heheh. I absolutely love when they use fighting as foreplay like adflkhf yes PUNCH HIS FACE (does that make me violent? probably LOL).

In knives and bullets by badreputation (M) 8.3k /SunaOsa/ UGH this one. Suna and Osamu’s relationship is *chef’s kiss*. And like I love how it isn’t too rushed and they took their time (also angry Suna is HOT). Like the tension at the house during the thing and then the PROPOSAL (LIKE YES). I always find myself coming back to this fic cause I just really love it <3

training by Sebastians_senpai (M) 3.2k /IwaOi/ again the smut.... ANyway, this one is some bamf Oikawa and head-made-of-steel Iwa LOL. Also some avengers talk makes it’s way up (and need I say, Iwa probably did look hot af when he did that), and him constantly hitting the other guy (cause spoilers hehe) made me laugh (ie. targeting LOL).

glass stained black by unrequitedangst (E) 31k /SunaOsa/ OKAY I said nO mAfIa Au’s well.... Technically it’s a SPY mafia AU so teehee. Also another repost cause why not LOL (but altered cause my writing is atrocious). The character development of Osamu is really legit and despite being mafia, it’s not that heavy or angst of a fic (but you should still definitely read tags and warnings first). It’s a non-linear fic (which I really liked, cause I love non-linear hehe) and the organization just adds another level to the fic development!

I love BAMF so if you have any to recommend, DO IT. Always up for more bamf/spy/secret agent AU’s HEHE. Also this turned into a collection of the same ships LOL IM SORRY, but I have a type and I think it’s very obvious hehe. I hope you all were careful about tags because I got lazy LOL. And this wasn’t in any particular order so I should’ve done it by ship, but I’m too lazy to do it now LOL. Hopefully, you all enjoyed this list and tbh for my other lists tbd, I might take out commentary and just put like the names (with links ofc). We’ll see LOL. Stay safe and have a great day! <3

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goblinconceivable · 3 years

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braindump: betty/daniel

I’ve been living with them for a while, notes taken, a few stories significantly started but there’s a gelling issue, which I’m hoping is at least partially down to a lack of proper braindumping. So, in no particular order and certainly not comprehensive:

Frankly I also got too hooked on the last 2 eps, which is likely where I’m blocked. It’s an abrupt emotional twist for them (esp Daniel), and in trying to make sense of that I’m losing focus on the 4 previous years.

- I’m a little bit obsessed in the scene where Betty tries to convince Matt she’s fearless by pointing out her bang-less-ness. And then runs into Daniel, who is at that moment half brain-washed, but yet when she asks about her fearless quotient his response is immediate and natural and entirely lacking in irony: “no bangs.” It’s a tiny little moment that shows how well he not only knows her, but understands her. Without judgment, without fanfare. Were I to have a husband, this is the sort of response that would confirm I’d married the absolute perfect guy for me.

- They’re too close for mirroring to be an important indicator, but there are two scenes that stand out in this vein: the first is when Betty thinks he may have pushed Christina down the stares and steals the video. She’s backing out the door, and he follows, matching her step for step. I love the direction choices because from her perspective there’s a sense of menace, Daniel as potential villain is stalking her. But from his guileless perspective he’s talking to her and if she’s moving, so is he. The second is from the penultimate, talking about Trista, where Betty’s rolling back and forth and he moves with her, rather than simply turning his head. It signals his full engagement in the conversation, seeking her attention, and is why the scene plays as flirting rather than their normal banter.

- That bulletpoint was getting a bit long, so second point on the flirting is that it plays against Betty shutting down the conversation “none of my business,” leading to the fight over involvement in each other’s personal lives, leading to the revelation that they know each other at that deep personal level so very, very well. Which was a very clumsy leadup to Daniel’s revelation during Hilda’s wedding speech, that could have been handled so much more deftly but those last two eps were quite rushed, I don’t know when they found out about the shortened season but it feels like they’d planned for more space and had to jab in exposition.

- Becaaaaause: they narratively broke his ‘aha’ moment onto “know you better than you do” while the strength of the message is really in the “do anything to protect them.” Which is, I believe, where they cut to his softened expression. Not coincidentally, this is precisely what a lot of fan-readings of the characters focus on: Daniel will do anything to protect Betty. Bobby might have said he’d throw himself under a bus for Hilda, but Daniel HAS done that for Betty- in fact literally doing so would probably have been easier than publicly shouldering the blame for the Tornado cover and giving away the profits. Due to the fact that he had time to consider the consequences and did it anyway.

- Which is tidy segue into an admission that I’m flying mostly blind on the Molly arc because I basically skipped all her scenes, but it’s my understanding that Daniel doing this was a pivotal moment for them. Ie, she was impressed that he did this thing. I mean, I really appreciate that he spent the whole press conference scene looking for Betty, so the show in no way undercut their relationship. But then they very clearly built the Molly relationship on the foundation of not only the man Daniel had become due to Betty, but choices he was making in large measure for Betty: it’s not that he saw Betty beaten down and resolved the situation: he was upset but lost, she yelled at him, and THEN he resolved the situation by taking the bullet. Did I break grammar by ending up with two colon’d clauses in the same sentence? It’s a braindump, ain’t gotta be pretty. XP

- Quick sidebar that the same thing happens with Alexis. She was expecting to come back to one brother, but then listens in on his pep talk with Betty and finds she’s returned to a different brother. This may be where I got the “an assistant” phrasing, if so, my bad. But basically, she was impressed with Daniel’s actions, not understanding that it was Betty specifically inspiring his actions.

- Follow that a step further and did Molly ever acknowledge how important Betty is to him? Legit question. I think her line here was about him doing it “for an assistant” (?) rather than even “his assistant,” establishing Betty as a non-entity for her. (Quoting a summary but I think I’m in the ballpark.) And I’m sure I’d have read about it somewhere if she brought Betty up during their discussion on who he’d date when she was dead.

- Just one last note on Molly, (okay it’s a multi-part though it veers off her as a character) but a possibly incorrect beef is that I hate the Daniel/Molly relationship because there’s no interesting or even real conflict? It’s perfect? I’m supposed to think this is magical “true love”? Molly has apparently been engaged for years to a man she doesn’t really love (and um... that’s lazy not strong), and helps inspire a vengeance filled betrayal by her ex because she’s so awesome everyone loves her? But she comes out squeaky clean because any emotional cheating on her part is balanced and thus “justified” by Connor falling for Wilhemina. And then the only “conflict” is that she’s dying, and is perfect throughout it? That’s... weak.

-That poem thing WOULD have been an interesting point of conflict but it was resolved by Betty’s intervention, rather than within the relationship. Which actually is an incredibly interesting beat. The problem with that being it’s so entirely consistent with the role Betty plays in Daniel’s life that it’s treated as just another beat, as if it doesn’t MATTER that a fundamental moment of intimacy and growth of vulnerability in Daniel’s very important romantic relationship is a door opened by a third party. There’s a strong argument to be made for something but I broke off to write the next point and now can’t remember what that strong argument is. I might remember later. It may have had something to do with Molly being a stepping stone in Daniel’s arc, but the cult-thing was so long and dominating that it didn’t work, it tied him too tightly for too long and coinciding with a loosening of his relationship with Betty there was flailing.

- Quick one: Daniel’s fast-forwarded and time-bounded relationship with Molly is the analog to Betty’s time-limited relationship with Henry. Which is a discussion I would like Daniel and Betty to have. Esp. noting that Betty and Henry had issues they worked through together (ice cream foreplay being one.)

- Player! So going back to a happy place, when Betty’s on the phone trying to fix the apartment situation and the camera pans onto Daniel just leaning against the doorway: this may be a legitimate little moment of “squee!” There’s so much denial in his laid back attitude at Player, but I still love watching how the informality of the environment reflects in the informality with Betty. He gives her free reign, and there’s many answers to “why,” and I (almost) don’t want to go into them because I totally adore how this Daniel is basically a College!Daniel only he’s latched onto Betty, who, meanwhile, is just being Betty. OMG how different his life would have been if he’d met Betty in college...

- Okay I actually don’t feel like going into whys, it’s just an arc to enjoy. With a small mention of how he TOTALLY was playing with the MODE book and handed it to Betty knowing she’d understand and use it to get them back in. Such a crazy subtle manipulation, to the point where I’m not sure it wasn’t almost entirely subconscious on Daniel’s part.

- The YETI recommendation letter. What I love is that this is another time when Daniel fvcks up, but fixes it, and more importantly displays competence and ingenuity alongside authentic caring and effort. Here’s the thing: YETI wanted Betty, even if it was just a quota thing (which it wasn’t entirely, at least one of the board was generally enthused.) So all that was necessary was to have them re-label her as from Player. Daniel knew this and did this. And told Betty that. BUUUUT that point was purposefully (by script and character) overshadowed by the gesture of the lengthy rec letter he put significant time into. Whose real audience was... wait for it... Betty. He even did a second draft! Which is more time and effort and a cleaner product.

- Also flaking on her practice run. I also enjoy how he (finally...) bounced back into the office clearly having forgotten her schedule, but having mentally shifted from Molly-space into Betty-space. He’s enthused, he’s engaged, he’s sort of bantering and I’d like to see where that scene would have gone if she hadn’t immediately gotten the acceptance call.

- So there’s this moment somewhat early on, pretty sure when Betty’s taking the writing class, and wants Daniel to give her feedback. And he’s all “why?,” coming from his “I don’t actually know what I’m doing” place. She responds that he’s her friend and wants to know what he thinks. And he does a little double-take at that word. Because until that point Daniel totally sees Betty as HIS Friend, and they’ve referred to each other as friends, with a little “f,” and he believes that. But it wasn’t until this moment that he even considered that HE might be HER Friend. Presumably because he doesn’t believe he has anything to offer her, beyond the power he holds as EIC and her boss - ie, “here run this show” and other such responsibilities.

- Which is a recurring theme. Pronounced on relationship stuff especially. When she asks him for input on the Henry vs Gio situation, when she’s trying to date the playwright. His response is always “I’m in no position to offer relationship advice/judgment on relationships.” He sorta dodges the first and is permissive on the second. I don’t know where to go with that so I’ll leave it (for now).

- When he was supposed to be in Rio, Betty wasn’t even at MODE, she was working for the “enemy,” and he was sending her regular postcards? First, they’d have been postmarked in New York and presumably with local stamps, so I’m not 100% on Betty not cottoning on. But it’s super cute that he was thinking of her when he was incommunicado with literally everyone else. Did he want her to figure it out (subconsciously)? It’s an act of reaching out, but also of convincing: he’s created a fictional narrative of being in Rio, fed and embellished by the media and swallowed by coworkers, but it’s through Betty that he’s establishing the fiction in a definitive way. He wants HER to believe it, because if SHE believes he’s there and having a good time, then he can believe it too, with a small piece of his imagination.

- Same convincing as in Player. BTW, how did all those messages on her phone work? He was 99% totally hiding the situation from her. a) why wouldn’t he just call her from his phone, as he always did in the past? b) he was creating another fictional space. Where her “number” was literally on a post-it on his temporary assistant’s monitor. It’s all play: “call Betty” happens many times, and every one is the act of doing it while knowing that he’s not really doing it. c) Betty does not point out that he should have been confused he never heard back, or more to the point, that he never heard her voicemail message. d) he was in a state of limbo waiting for her to come back, nothing is real until she does. At which point there’s lovely dramatic tension since he both wants her to fix it and get them out of there, and wants to draw her into this new reality and thus make it feel viable.

- 100th Anniversary edition. I love the idea that he’s hep on her writing his bio because he needs her name, at least, to be next to his. His identity as EIC is predicated on her being his partner, and needs that shown, even if it’s functionally an “in joke” because it’s not like she can be featured. In musing over his thoughts while flipping through the book right before deciding to quit, I usually come back to a realization of the transience of the role, but I want it to be a gutpunch of how he assumed, without being aware, that Betty would be next to him in picture, and that’s what they were heading for.

- I’ve actually got through most of my notes, so just a couple more. Daniel is super impressionable. He did what Becks told him to in the pilot. He did what Natalie told him in the cult-situation. Both against his better judgment - his look after Betty when he kicked her out for being “drama he didn’t need” - that’s the same look when he told her to clock out and was dragged off by the not-16-year-old. I’m too tired to go check the pilot, but assuming similar look there. He does what he’s told by anyone telling him to do something, but he WANTS to be rescued from the bad influences, who are so often so forceful.

- Final scene: okay so it turns out quick a lot of my thoughts are trying to understand Daniel. His growth is blatant and deep. So a second round will be more Betty-focused. ‘Cuz I identify strongly with her and don’t have a lot of surface questions about her motivations, but I’m LOST on side of the romantic coin. And plus she deserves a close look regarding how she grows during the series.

- I watched at least part of the reunion and very much like how AF answered the question of the final scene versus what EM says. Because I think they each, as actors, see it from the perspective of their characters, which means it was played authentically and grants insight. AF basically says that she saw it as Daniel coming to say thank you, and how it came down to Betty teaching him that he was good enough. Which came across a little funny because her phrasing implied they’d never talk or see each other again or something and that’s an alarming finality. But also implies that Betty really did see moving to London as a significant parting of ways, something that started as soon as she became an editor and their relationship changed. Probably before.

- She then challenged EM as to why Daniel didn’t say goodbye (as if she didn’t know and hadn’t thought about it? I’m guessing this was panel performance: asking the question “in character” and throwing the question to the other relevant actor.) But anyway, EM’s answer was “Because things were just starting.” Which is blatantly a shippy answer, and he even explains Daniel’s “revelation” as when he “really saw Betty for the first time through and through.”

- At some point in these things you’re like: oh but I thought of something else, and only stop when your brain falls asleep.

- I thought of something else. And then I forgot it. My brain is failing! But not yet failed.

- After Betty gets her braces off there’s this scene near the end, at the shoot. Daniel sees her and crosses quite purposefully to talk with her. He wants to banter and share this exciting moment with her. And the scene goes a little strange when Betty kinda goes “yeah, going now bye.” I expected more eye contact, a big smile, more conversation. That’s Betty. That’s them. But instead it’s a little awkward so Something Is Happening Here. Is she self-conscious? Did she see and hear something in Daniel’s look and comment right after she was detached from the bra and isn’t at this moment comfortable with him? Is this all fallout from her dream in which she and Daniel slept together/he thought she was a bad person/rejected her only they chose not to explicate this/cut a useful scene/thought I’d get that right away but I’m obtuse? I don’t think it’s the last one because while I can be horribly obtuse, I don’t think it was coded. But that’s what the obtuse would say.

- At any rate they don’t pick up on it again, next scene (next ep) they’re back to normal.

- But Daniel does immediately chase after Amanda and let go of her. Which is payoff for his convo with Betty earlier where she sort of disdainfully asks if he WANTS a more serious relationship with Amanda. I did sort of wonder if he actually does, but Betty’s judgmentalness is what convinces him he doesn’t. Usually I’d say Betty understands him so well she knows he doesn’t, but they’re not as close at this point, Betty is living her own life much more, so I dunno.

- But I don’t actually think Daniel was falling for Amanda, or that the show wanted us to think that was ultimately a viable path. Because of that moment when he’s in a car, calls Amanda, says “I really need to see you” and she turns him down. It parallels his text to Betty when Molly died. One text and Betty came over. This was an actual distressed voice convo and Amanda doesn’t care enough about him to be there, which is really great development for Amanda even though we don’t see her! She previously went after Matt when he was in jail, she’s interested in Tyler here, she’s not totally pining for Daniel!

- Daniel of course was using Amanda and their earned if mild emotional intimacy as a crutch, trying to fill the space Betty left. Also note when Amanda turned him down for sex and he stayed to “hang out,” - this is not supposed to be an analysis of Amanda but I wanna note I like that moment because it felt like she was pleased to think she wasn’t just sex to him, while still being over him romantically. Because she does care about him.

- Or for pete’s... I have this bad habit of writing notes which I later look at and am like... “huh?” This is a fic idea, from Daniel’s POV: “Betty had moulded him, often by sheer force of her iron will, into being a man who almost deserved Molly. And he'd turned right around and become a man who would never deserve Betty.” And I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THE SECOND HALF MEANS. Specifically.

- Wedding dancing. Happens twice. Hilda’s wedding, we know what that is. But at Daniel’s wedding. I like that he wasn’t 100% Molly focused, ‘cuz, shipper. And I know why the show had Matt cut in, because gotta keep things moving. But isn’t it a thing that you don’t cut in on the groom/bride? It’s their day. Daniel just sort of nonverbally asks Betty if it’s okay (to leave her with Matt), but can’t help a) thinking he was a bit put out and b) want Molly to see his expression looking at Betty and have some sort of “aha” moment where she - do Molly and Betty have any scenes together? I don’t remember seeing any and I think I did skim through all the eps, but I need to do that again.

- Ooh, one of the things I forgot en route! I like that Betty has revolving love interests, because that’s textual argument for Betty never having feelings (romantic) for Daniel. Which is super, super important in this iteration of the story. There’s a couple moments - pilot and the first bridge scene - where she arguably has a momentary crush, which quickly settles into a developing platonic relationship.

- Jump back to Daniel finally seeing Betty as a true equal = romantic feelings. It’s a thing. Look my brain is deteriorting and wording is hard! So there’s two sided imbalance throughout. Daniel always saw Betty with this veneer of youth, and a great deal of his use for her is helping her “grow into the woman she’ll be.” And that’s the roadblock in him seeing her as a romantic possibility. Which was initially quite awesome because he was sleeping with people younger than her, even the “she’s actually 20″ girl was younger than Betty. And yet always saw her as in many ways more mature and competent than her. And double-yet he still saw how much further she could, and would, grow. His belief in her knows no bounds.

- Meanwhile Betty sees him as... someone who’s also becoming. Who has great potential. Bullying him into it if necessary. And because he’s guided by her, she can’t crush on him, he’s like her pet. Were she to have a crush, much less fall for him, it would have been horrifying. She needs to have a moment when she sees him as a true equal, someone who - look, everyone is always still growing so it’s not like he needs to be fully formed, and it’s a little murkier what the moment would look like when she finally sees Daniel “for the first time.”

- ‘cuz as noted, Betty has been there for pretty much every important moment of growth and crossroads in every facet of Daniel’s life. Whereas Betty consistently had many things and relationships in her life Daniel was not involved in. She’s always been way more self-reliant (not the word I wanted, is there one that starts with c?) It’s why they did sort of need to peel away through a chunk of S4, because Daniel needed to learn to cope without Betty propping him up, because it’s like a Miranda-thing:

- “I don’t need Gary. But I want him.”

- Daniel has to be able to be find without Betty before Betty can see him as a viable romantic partner. She has to see something she never has before. Daniel saw that the seedling he’d been protecting was not only strong enough to survive on its own had grown up and bloomed (process begun early in the season when he was being overprotective and she shut that down). For Betty... I guess Daniel... ... ..... it didn’t happen in the show. As EM noted, for Daniel, the ending was the beginning. Because his moment isn’t leaving MODE, that’s just the corresponding moment to Betty shaking him off. His moment is further down the road when he puts into practice everything he’s learned and ... something answered in fanfic because it’s spec and I’m tuckered.

#daniel x betty #detty #ugly betty #meta #braindump #my brain literally has nothing except #i got nothing #what a satisfying feeling #to have removed everything and set it in a magical tardis of a post

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hirakdesherrani · 4 years

Text

Scattered thoughts on Bulbbul

(spoilers ahead)

Finally watched Bulbbul yesterday night, with my bff. We thought we needed each other’s support because we are phattus of the highest order, but there wasn’t much horror in it (as we found out later).

Which brings me to the first thing, the trailer. Whoever edited the trailer did a splendid job, because it gave very little clue what the movie was about. I thought it was something like Stree, using horror to give a social message, just instead of comedy in that movie, this was more drama?

The movie, however, had very little horror/thrill. While the movie is one of Netflix’s better online products, it isn’t...great. Like it’s very on the surface. There are not many layers to the characters, neither is there a lot of subtext. Still, the pace is good, and the storytelling engaging. Hindi cinema, theatre or OTT, are very new in this genre, so I don’t want to be too severe here.

Things that I liked:

Tripti Dimri....omg what a revelation. Laila Majnu didn’t let us on how versatile this girl is. In the first few frames, me and my friend were commenting that why is she only sitting around, posing like a mermaid? But then with the flashbacks, her raw performance really took hold. The scene where they are sitting at a picnic and Mahendra pulls at her hair, the way she said, “Dada, na” slightly scared, but also not wanting to hurt his feelings (btw I’m very anti-Mahendra in this post), that was so well done. From there on, she owns every scene, that you can’t look anywhere else. Whether it’s the mix of annoyance and impatience when she wants to meet Satya but Binodini is taunting her, or whether it’s the scene where Indranil informs her and Satya that he’s sending the latter to London, she was so natural. Special mention to the two scenes of violence esp. the sexual assault one, because it takes a lot of guts to portray the victim in such scenes, and the scene was so difficult to watch, that we forwarded after a few seconds of it.

That reminds me, from the moment the two brothers Indranil and Mahendra enter the frame, I knew what was going to happen, and which brother was going to perpetrate which abuse. The writing was on the nose, so to speak, with these two particular characters. Even so, Rahul Bose did the best that he could with them, but we have come to expect perfect performances when it comes to him, so not surprised here.

The third brother, Satya, was what I would say the most layered character in this movie, surprisingly. Initially, I didn’t get why did they cast Avinash Tiwary for this role, because it wasn’t either a substantial role, or even a positive or negative or supportive role. I even thought the makers tried to cash on the Laila Majnu hangover, and hyped Bulbbul/Satya love story in the trailer. Unlike Bulbbul who loved Satya, I don’t think Satya loved Bulbbul, at least not like she did. Sure, he thought of her as his best friend, confidante, and all, but he didn’t care for her like that. It was evident when he was enamored by the idea of going to London, and didn’t notice Bulbbul’s voice breaking when Indranil informed them of the news.

Halfway done with the film, I had made up my mind that Avinash is good with unrestrained roles like Qais, where he can completely let go, but not in subtle roles requiring controlled performances. What changed my mind was my growing dislike for Satya as the movie kept progressing. I kept thinking why does he annoy me so much, like he’s only there in a few scenes, and yet I want to snap at him? That’s when I realized how well the writers have written Satya, captured his mentality and vision, and without any overt or dramatic scenes, Avinash essayed the writer’s message.

Satya is proxy for the society in this film. He hears no evil, he sees no evil, just like our society which likes to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on behind closed doors. Satya is representative of those men, who argue whenever a woman raises her voice, that ‘not all men’ (ala that scene where Bullbul alludes to Master Dinkar beating his wife, while Satya defends the man by suggesting that his wife may have actually fallen down the stairs). In the scene where he meets Bulbbul after five years, he questions her what did she do that girl he knew five years ago, indirectly putting the blame on Bullbul for losing her childlike innocence, instead of asking her what happened to her that she became like this. Satya is classic ‘not all men’, victim-blaming abuse apologist in the film. Evil men are not just men like Indranil, who beat up their wives, or sexual assaulters like Mahendra, evil men are also those who stand by and watch, and pretend that nothing is going on, who put the onus on the woman for the upkeep of tradition, who question a woman’s morality and who act as the judge, jury and executioner of a woman’s character. Bulbbul’s dialogue is telling, “Tum sab ek jaise ho” Satya is no different from his brothers, he may not have committed and violence, but he was just as much a villain as the rest of them for willfully ignoring the evidence of his eyes. I haven’t made up my mind whether he was actually jealous of Dr. Sudip or not, or he just hated the man for being too bold to be friendly with the ‘women of his family’.

Which brings me to Dr. Sudip, the only likable man in this film. Even though at some level it is a little sad to see Parambrata Chatterjee slotted into these male guide/support to the female protagonist kind of roles (his role in Kahaani was something similar), I really do like watching him in these roles, playing them as he does with a lot of charm, subtlety, and empathy. The makers perhaps wanted to signify that there are a few men who are not completely evil, and not afraid or feel threatened in the presence of a assertive, and this case, avenging female. It’s his relationship with Bulbbul which I felt was the real love story of the film, though of course, Bulbbul didn’t harbor the same feelings for him, though she did care for him immensely.

The other female role was that of Binodini. I know I should be feeling sympathy for her, at some level, she was also taught to keep quiet and bear all injustice, but I’m so tired of females taking out their bitterness on other females, making the lives of other women miserable, instead of directing them, rightfully, at the men in their lives and the dictates of the society. Binodini, like Satya, was a proxy for the women in the society who instead of being supportive of other women do the opposite, and help perpetuate patriarchy by teaching their fellow women to keep quiet.

Another minor thing, like I mentioned before, from the first scene it’s evident what Mahendra’s going to do. And I wish to God that we stop with mentally ill men assaulting women. No, their mental condition does not excuse rape. Mental illness can provoke violence in a person, yes, killing accidentally or in a fit of rage, beating, pulling clothes, etc, but not rape. Rape is a specific offense that requires knowledge and intent, unless a mentally ill person has learnt it from somewhere, and even then, the fact that they drew pleasure from that violence shows that they have a sadistic instinct. Which is why I was glad when Mahendra was punished for his crime. (this is why I didn’t watch Ranjha Ranjha Kardi despite liking Iqra, because I knew they were going to excuse marital rape using mental illness).

As such, there isn’t much of a plot per se in Bulbbul, it’s more of a commentary of our society, even though it’s set a century back, the issue of it’s choice being violence against women. Despite that, it’s an engaging enough film. It get’s through the message that the real horrors are not ghosts or witches, but what happens daily in our society. The length of the film is a huge plus, so I would suggest watching this film if you’ve some free time in the weekend.

Also, don’t get fooled like me and my friend, it’s not horror genre.

#bulbbul #netflix #tripti dimri #avinash tiwary #parambrata chattopadhyay #rahul bose #paoli dam #movies #my stuff

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herbietales · 2 years

Note

kyle and kenny for the ask meme pls!!

thank u for asking and indulging me <33

ill put this under a cut dfkgds

Kyle

Why I like him: - Well tbh he's a rly cute and relateable character to me I feel moreso than any of the other boys. I really like moments where's he's shown to be really smart, like esp in conducting research or tracking down IP addresses. He's also able to stand up for himself and I liken him to be the friend who takes care of others even when he doesnt even want to for his conscious and moral obligations. He's also not shy to pursue something and follow through when he's determined (especially when it comes to his friends) He's also just a charmingly nerdy character with no rhythm and its just that simple lol

Why I don’t: - he tends to put people and even his morals under the bus lol like letting cartman tell him to tell the police that his parents were "molestering" him in the wacky molestation adventure if it means he gets to a concert. he's easily carried away by his feelings? and he has no tact sometimes? like when Kyle went to pursue Nicole and he thinks its a good idea to go to Token to ask him whether its okay - that plus his determination when he almost set fire to the school bc of some list

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Tooth Fairy's Tats 2000 bc his existential crisis was rly funny; Cartmanland, where he was so dramatic about his hemorrhoids that he was ready to die

Favorite season/movie: Ermm there's really no fair way to say which particular season since Kyle-episodes r so spread out but I really like early seasons (Kyle

Favorite line: https://southpark.cc.com/video-clips/ei184e/south-park-kyle-s-hemorrhoid

kyle's hemorrhoid speech in cartmanland he's so dramatic

Favorite outfit: High Elf King!! i love the tree branch crown hehe OTP: k2,,, of course.. but i like style too!

Brotp: The main five, Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Butters! I like seeing em all tgt - Kyle and Token also sounds really cool being the more level headed ones in their group

Head Canon: I have this headcanon where he's learnt coding and has spent a lot of time on the internet. There's another one where he learnt how to play the guitar and songwriting from Stan

Unpopular opinion: I don't really have one! Or I haven't been in this fandom long enough I think to have one that I don't particularly agree with . Maybe an opinion I have is that Cartman may be smarter than Kyle?

A wish: For him to find happiness and closure with his bros

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Not having his bros around him TT

5 words to best describe them: Smart, charming, stubborn, gullible, kind!

My nickname for them: Ky

----

Kenny

Why I like him: - Though he's perverted and all, I love that he's always shown to be kind, good-natured and a person who loves giving back. But!! He's not a pushover, he tells people off whenever he needs to protect his siblings. he's also not afraid to just do whatever he wants to (being princess kenny and then betraying cartman, or participating in home econs? and not shop class even if it makes him look feminine). and i think a trait that i really like is how much he likes hanging out with other boys that he would dedicate his life to fixing things up with them - also?? being so proactive in keeping in touch with everyone apparently after 40 years lol

Why I don’t: - theres rly not much to dislike about kenny, since things i dislike about him is things he doesnt really control like not having enough screentime lol but if i have to nitpick it would be that kenny usually takes the backseat whenever he could stand up for his friends, like he has to be told to comfort butters in Going Native

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Best Friends Forever! Where Kenny protects Heaven with the golden PSP lmao

Favorite season/movie: Mysterion trilogy! Or also known as the Coon & Friends trilogy

Favorite line: His letters to his Cartman, Kyle and Stan in Going Native !! theyre rly funny Favorite outfit: Princess Kenny!! OTP: k2... hehe but Bunny is also cute!!

Brotp: The main five, Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Butters! I see him being the person who hangs out with CATG as well!

Head Canon: Maybe random but he has sanpaku eyes? it's just symbolism more than anything bc its said that ppl with sanpaku eyes tends to get a tragic end and it fits with his dying-a-lot-angst trope.

Unpopular opinion: I hate it when ppl make him out to be a druggie that ends up with a dead-end job and that he wouldnt make it out to college and stuff or that he's a womanizer? in the defintiion that he uses women and all that TT like maybe he's a flirt and likes hanging out with women but where did yall get that he abuses them...

A wish: Adult Kenny to speak unmuffled... please...

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Being killed off permanently or make him out to be that person in the unpopular opinion lol

5 words to best describe them: crude, quiet, protective, selfless, loyal

My nickname for them: Ken!

#kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #fjkgshdg thanks so much for asking <33

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inmyarmswrappedin · 3 years

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OOoouh you're so right about druck stans going to disagree with at least one thing in your answer of the previous ask. I'm very curious why you liked the placement of "call out my name" in s3 so much? I mean it's a banger but personally from the first time I watched it I struggled with the placement in that particular clip.

Hi anon 🌸 Okay, so I've said a couple times that I'm more than fine with Call Out My Name, but I don't think I've ever gone into detail because I don't want to upset people. 😅 Tbh. But I'll answer this ask to get it out of the way, and my inbox is always open to anons if you disagree with me.

So the first reason, as you said, is because the song is a banger.

Also because I feel like The Weeknd's voice and singing style really fits the way Skams write relationships, imo. Like he always sounds so lovesick and/or thirsty, the PINING and HEARTACHE is strong within his songs, and imo it particularly fits David and Matteo, who are both so into each other but also have very low self-esteem. Like they really love each other so much, but when it comes to David specially, he has a hard time opening up to Matteo for understandable reasons.

And when it comes to Call Out My Name specifically... The song is about how Abel is in love with Selena Gomez, but feels Selena didn't care about him as much, how in the end she left him and moved on with her life seemingly without a second thought. It's not about Abel feeling like he was lied to or fooled or how he fell in love under false pretenses. Abel is still very much in love during the song even though he feels Selena never cared about him the same way. I'm saying this is as a David stan: David kept disappearing on Matteo and ghosting Matteo and leaving Matteo without an explanation for most of the season. He'd text Matteo and then never respond. He texted Matteo that he wanted to have nothing to do with him. Matteo had to be coached by his friends to give David an ultimatum... And then David still almost left the morning after without giving Matteo an explanation first. Even after he does come out to Matteo, David leaves. And not just that, but David even actually told Matteo once that in case of a catastrophe, he'd peace out on his own when it was so obvious that Matteo wanted him to say he'd take Matteo along. (They'd kissed and spent a whole night together!!!) Like, I'm perfectly fine with Matteo moping around a bit and feeling like maybe he's never mattered as much to David as David means to Matteo. Esp because remember, David freaked out when Matteo "claimed (David) so proud and openly", i.e. Matteo dumped Sara and was ready to start dating David.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand why David feels the way he does and does the things he does. David's my fav, I have infinite amounts of sympathy for him. I just feel like Matteo also deserves some sympathy. Matteo has gone through a lot and is messed up himself. Yet, despite all his insecurities, lack of energy, anxiety, etc. from second one he's making an effort and seeking David out, putting himself out there for this boy who's turned his world upside down. And, in turn, David has often acted in the exact way he said he would: running away from Matteo and hiding.

I also feel like the song is in the right place taking the whole season in consideration, because after Matteo has had a moment of self-pity and feeling abandoned, he realizes that David DOES feel the same way Matteo feels. Matteo just has to make David understand that Matteo wants to be with him, is not leaving, and is also not entertaining David's tendencies to run away, on his own or dragging Matteo along. (Which is what happens in the second pool scene.) For me, after that clip (and the chat with Hans) Matteo shows a deeper understanding of David and how to get David to listen to Matteo, but imo it couldn't have happened without first having that moment of lovesickness/pining/desperation/self-pity.

#skams adjacent discourse #ask #Anonymous #verschissener vampir

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not-poignant · 3 years

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Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on psychology #it's even worth being away that clinical psychologists often frown on psychoanalysts #and psychoanalysts often frown on the rigidity of clinical psychology curriculums lol #dr gary works within both schools and is a bit of a rebel in that sense #anyway yeah like #even i was really wary of writing too much dr gary #and only really gave into it indulgently #when people revealed they were enjoying those scenes and dr gary himself #but like #i would hate him as a therapist #he's pushy and sometimes pretty impatient #even what i write re: therapy #is not necessarily a reflection on what a real life person would experience #in the same circumstances #Anonymous

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