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bloofinntoona · 1 year

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cross your heart: part 1

Word Count: 4 k

Themes: angst, aged-up characters, suggestive themes (no smut), sebastian sallow x F!reader

Summary: why did sebastian sallow disappear after graduation? even after all the years you’ve spent trying to forget him, you realized that he never left your heart. would things be the same when you accidentally saw him again, now as your foe?

One

You took a deep breath.

Two

Three

Four

You exhaled.

Five

“Expelliarmus!” you shouted as you leapt from the makeshift barricade made out of wooden debris, casting a light blue spark directed to the figure across you. In a split second, as his wand flew from his grip – you casted “Confringo!”, waves of flame burst from your wand, burning the man. Taking another beather, you felt the world was at a standstill. Fog clouded your vision, the cold winter night breeze stung your reddened ears, your eyes darting between the hoard of hooded foes casting curses and hexes and your team of Auror officers. “Just a little bit more, my friend!” You snapped back to reality, focusing on Natty, who was chasing down a mongrel — you’d assumed was an Animagus.

Of course, there was no time to waste. Just a little bit of push and this battle will be finished. “Incendio!” A ring of fire spread around you, blazing the group of inferi that were closing in on you. You ran towards the biggest tent in the area, scanning the dimly-lit room. “Avada Kedavra!” You immediately dodged the green light, heart beating wildly against your chest. Godric’s Heart, just a second late and you would be dead. You swiftly striked “Diffindo!”, inflicting a wound on the man’s arm. “Depulso! Flipendo!” The wizard’s body flung all over the room, finally slammed down to the ground with a loud Thump! Blood spluttered from the man’s mouth, most likely from broken bones. Carefully inching closer, you stepped on the dark wizard’s black crooked wand, snapping it in half. You pointed your wand at his direction, as you leaned down to check on him, you noticed a hydra dragon with three heads tattooed on his forearm. Just as Officer Singer had warned you, the group of Dark magicians were a part of the recently formed group of Dark Arts users who would go around torturing and killing people, always leaving three slash marks on the victims’ chests. You pushed thee tip of your wand against the wizard’s neck, “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” He let out a sinister laugh, catching you off guard, he landed a punch right in your stomach, knocking the air out of your lungs as you stumbled down. “You can’t stop us all,” he winced, “kill one, and more will rise. Apparate!” In a split second, the dark wizard vanished into a black smoke, leaving you on the floor, clutching your stomach in pain.

Natty came rushing into the camp, seeing you writhing on the ground, she grabbed a Wiggenweld potion from her satchel and offered the bottle to you. “Are you alright?”

You swiftly gulped the green liquid in one shot, promptly reducing the pain you had been dealing. “Thank you, I’m alright now,” you sighed, looking around the now wreck of a room, “I’m sorry I couldn’t catch him. Ruth was right, he is one of those blasted Hydra members.”

Natty shook her head, “Don’t worry.” She picked up the dark wizard’s broken wand, securing the pieces in her bag. “I think this should suffice. We can take this to the Ministry for further investigation. Come on, now.” Natty casted Incendio, creating a small bonfire in the middle of the tent. “Let’s get out of here.” Hoisting you up, she threw a handful of Floo Powder from her pocket to the fire, “Ministry of Magic!”

You closed your eyes, letting the green flames envelope your body, transferring you to your destination.

It had been a week since you, Natty, and several other Auror officers ransacked a Hydra encampment. Officer Ruth Singer, now promoted as one of the Auror heads, ordered you to take a couple days off from raiding. To be quite honest, you knew she needed someone to do the long overdue paperwork. You didn’t mind, it was a nice break from putting your life on the line all the time.

Ever since the end of year sixth studying at Hogwarts, you had decided to take on the journey to become an Auror officer. After all, you did spend some time defeating bands of poachers, spiders, goblins, and even trolls. A small part of you wanted to leave your fighting days behind, as you stopped using Ancient Magic altogether after the passing of Professor Fig. You kept your last memory of the honorable man close to your heart – as you promised him that you shall make sure to be the keeper of Ancient Magic, so the powerful force wouldn’t end up in the wrong hands. There were two reasons why you eventually chose to be an Auror; firstly, on a one particular day, Professor Hecat sat you down, brewed you a delightful piping hot cup of tea, and convinced you that you have a massive potential to fight for the good of Wizardkind. She also added that it could be a good challenge to practice your duelling skills without the use of Anicent Magic.

The second reason is, the Slytherin boy that has successfully taken your heart as hostage. It was none other than the one-and-only Sebastian Sallow.

Where to begin with Mr. Sallow? It was an understatement to say that you had a history with him. The connection that you formed Sebastian, even after ten years or so, you couldn’t find anything that came close to the euphoric feelings that you had when you stare into his hazel eyes. Until now, you didn’t understand why it felt so natural to care about the boy. You genuinely tried to help him find a cure for his sick twin sister, even letting him dove deep into the Dark Arts – leaving you with a life lesson that such force shouldn’t be trifled with. You swore that he’d enchanted you, that you would do anything just to see a glint of smile on his face.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the school halls, lights from the floating candles barely cleared your path. It was late into the night after the graduation party. Everyone, even the paintings, were fast asleep, trunks packed as the students were ready to either further their education, or some planned to explore the vast world beyond Hogwarts. Pointing your wand to the clock, turning the gears, prompting the furniture to open its door. You hurried down the stairs to the Undercroft, the secret hideout that only Sebastian, Ominis, and you knew. However, Ominis was rarely seen in the croft after the incident with Solomon Sallow. Ties were severed that day. You tried convincing the Blonde boy, but it was for naught. Nothing you and Sebastian could do to turn back time and restore the trust. You tried your best to cheer Sebastian as well, greeting him with the best smile that you could muster, and offering your shoulder to cry on whenever dark thoughts clouded his mind. Sebastian still had an interest in duelling, thus you made a pact with him that you both would take the N.E.W.Ts together and join the Auror office. The last years in school were spent taking advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potion classes together.

You well knew that your feelings had blossomed into something more. You couldn’t finish the day without thinking about Sebastian. Often times he would visit you in your dreams, holding him, touching him, wondering how his lips tasted like. You were no coward. Despite the so-called etiquette of being a proper lady that had been instilled in you, you determined to at least confessed your feelings to your closest friend before you leave the school.

There he was, standing in front of the triptych, adorned in the green and black Slytherin coat. You’d always thought the color green suited him the most. “This is it”, you thought, taking long strides to the boy. He turned around, flashing a faint smile. Before he could utter a single word, you grasped his tie, pulling him down, and crashing your lips against his. You could feel his body stiffen, probably surprised at your sudden brazen act. It was almost taboo for women to make the first move. It didn’t take long for Sebastian to reciprocate, cupping your face. You felt like your body was weightless, as if you were on the back of Highwing again. Yet at the same time, your body burned hotter than fire.

Few words were exchanged that night. You spend the dark hours wrapped in each other’s arms, you swore you fell asleep smiling, imagining your future together with him.

Morning came, and to your devastation, you were left alone with your heart in pieces and a note etched in a parchment paper.

“I’m sorry. -S.S”

That was the last time you saw Sebastian Sallow.

A knock against the door to your office took you out from your nostalgic thoughts. “Natty!” you exclaimed, jumping out of your desk to hug your friend. Natty was your rock, she was there when you spent your days wallowing the lost of your love. With perseverance, she pulled you out from your misery and became your companion in your studies in becoming an Auror. “Ruth is expecting you in her office. And by the way, looks like you received another letter of marriage proposal.” Natty added, flapping the envelope in front of your face. You sighed, taking the piece of paper and threw it in the bin, alongside several other unopened proposal letters.

“When do you think they stop sending us proposals? I don’t even know them!” you huffed.

Your best friend laughed, patting your back, “I think some of them have started calling you a spinster.”

You rolled your eyes, “They can say whatever they want, Natty, I don’t care.” You truly don’t. You tried opening your heart for another men to fill, yet your heart still yearned for the same Slytherin boy that you loved years ago. You found zero reason to shack up with someone that you don’t love. “Alright then, best be on my way to see Ruth.”

The Daily Prophet paper clippings, stacks of wanted posters, and report papers decorated Officer Ruth Singer’s desk. Her office was pretty small for an officer in her calibre, but she has always been more keen in patrolling out than being stuck in her desk. You closed the door behind you. “Hello Ruth, anything I can do for you?”

“Ah!” the head Auror set her tea down, “just the person I was looking for. I trust you’ve recovered well?”

“Yes ma’am.” You smiled, “I’m ready for whatever task you have in mind.”

“Good. I have a case that might piqued your interest.” The brunette-haired woman set down a map in front of you, pointing to a spot down around the Clagmar Coast area. “I have just received a tip that there were sightings of dark wizards here. Unfortunately, I had assigned our other officers to other cases, and I supposed you can investigate this?”

“Are they a part of Hydra, ma’am?”

Officer Ruth shrugged, “They most likely are. Please, be careful. Don’t engage if there are a lot of them. Just report back to me.”

You gave the woman a salute and went back to pack the essentials – an array of potions and plants were hastily dumped into your bottomless satchel. The longer you dilly dally, more possibility for the target to move.

It has been a while since you went to the gloomy coast. You were never a fan of the place. It was cold, muddy, filled with Dugbogs and Poachers to top it off. Being on your broom wasn’t so bad though, feeling the fresh ocean breeze blowing against you. You flew quite close to the grounds, scanning the area. You thought you went around twice, feeling a bit disappointed that you might have just missed the suspects.

That was until you heard a blood curling scream. You quickly titled your broom downwards, flying faster to the source. Putting your broom away, you casted a Disillusionment spell, rendering you invincible. You hid behind a huge tree, peeking to see the commotion. To your horror, you saw a man, one of the men you saw on the wanted posters on Officer Ruth’s desk, hands tied behind his back, writhing in pain on the ground. “Please, please, please,” he coarsely cried, “make it stop… or, just kill me!”

“Ya better shut yer’ trap or I will keep you for days!” one of the hooded wizard shouted, before pointing his wand to the pleading man. “Crucio!”

You cringed as you heard the man pained cries, his limbs were twisted in directions that you thought weren’t humanely possible. “Crucio!” Another curse hurled from a woman, also covered in dark hooded robe. The tortured man was reduced to tense muscles and breathless grunts. His back arched as if his body was snapped in half. You could see a shadow of the third figure looming over.

Scanning the area once more, you deducted that there were only three of them. Confident that you were able to take them on, you inched closer to the group, still under the Disillusionment charm. “Petrificus Totalus!” you shouted, binding one of the dark wizard closest to you. As he was paralyzed, you attacked him with a series of casts, pushing the man away from the victim. The woman laughed maniacally as she scream incoherently, calling a hoard of inferi to attack you. You used a combination of Confringo and Incendio to burn the living corpses. Trying to keep track of the three opponents was harder than you thought, especially with the inferi spawning all over the place. “Levioso! Accio!” you were able to flung the man, hurting him with basic casts while he was mid-air, he finally dropped down defeated. After burning through the corpses, you were able to find the hooded woman running away from you. You chased after her, as you closed in, you waved your wand, transfiguring the woman into a barrel. Without any hesitation, you quickly destroyed the item.

Wait, you thought to yourself, there was one more. While you tried to catch your breath, your eyes frantically darting to every corner of your peripherals, yet you couldn’t find the third figure.

One

You took a deep breath.

Two

Three-

Just before the count of four, you felt a cold blunt item poking against your neck, hitching your breath. Your felt your body tensed, how could you miss this? Is this the end? Your thoughts were all over the place. And then it hit you, the smell of ashes, sandalwood, and a tinge of musk – the scent that was etched in your heart. The scent of the man that slipped away from your arms long time ago. Your visions were blurry, knees weak as you felt the man’s figure pressed against your back. “Petrificus Totalus.” You heard him whisper, before everything went dark.

Sobs and cries filled your ears as you stood in front of a grave at Feldcroft. “Anne Sallow, loved and remembered forever.” Written on the stone, simply decorated with a small angel statue on the top. You placed the white Lily flower on top of the soil, before finding your way back between the small crowd. Everybody tried their best to find a cure, but Solomon was right, the curse was stuck with the poor girl forever, slowly rotting her body away. But she passed being cared by her friends, especially Ominis, who never left her side after graduating from Hogwarts. To everyone’s surprise, her own twin brother was not there. It felt like the person who fought for her the most has given up. Deep down, you had hoped that you were able to see him again this time, finding the answer why he left. You were disappointed once again, forced to bury your feelings again.

The sound of waves crashing greeted you as you woke up from the deep slumber, feeling the soft blanket wrapped around your body. Slowly, your eyes fluttered open and gained focus, taking particular interest to the full moon peeking through the window. Your body shot up, finally conscious enough to realize that you were in an unfamiliar room – old dusty wooden floor illuminated by the crackling fireplace; maps, newspaper clippings and posters pasted on the wall, just above a desk filled with stacks of books. Your eyes trailed down, finding empty bottles of what you assumed were muggle-made alcoholic beverages.

“Ah, you’re awake.” A calm voice broke your trance. Just as you thought, Sebastian Sallow stood in front of you. Gone was the schoolboy you kept in your memories all this time, replaced by a tall, brooding man towering over you. He kept his hair in a similar style, his gaze significantly darkened, making you wonder about the things that he had experienced throughout the years. You find solace seeing the same tiny freckles adorned his face, wait, did he always have that scar on the right side of his jaw? Your eyes trailed down to his left forearm, to your disappointment, there was the hydra dragon tattoo wrapped around his arm, just underneath the rolled sleeve of his shirt.

Immediately, waves of emotions crashed onto you like a tsunami – anger, relieve, frustration, yearning, all mixed up in your head. You couldn’t even stop the tears that were dripping down, wetting the blanket. Sebastian gently sat down on the bed, he reached for your hand, yet you pulled back. “I thought you died,” you croaked between sobs, “I-I had to forget about you.” You heard him sigh, bringing a flask to his lips, taking a swing from it. “Why, Sebastian? Was I meant nothing to you? What we had… was that even real?”

He kept his silence, the only thing that was audible was the sound of your hiccups and logs cracking from the fireplace. After you calmed down a bit, he offered you the flask, you gave him a suspecting look. “Relax,” Sebastian sighed again, “if I wanted to kill you, I’ve already done that when you were unconscious.”

You huffed, taking the container and downed the liquid inside. It was bitter, and the alcohol was strong enough to make you wince. “It was an old wine I got from my trip to Italy.” Sebastian explained, “helps with the headache after a binding spell.”

“Italy?” You asked. He was right, the wine did calm you down – physically and emotionally. You were too tired to fight him anyways, all you wanted to do was to find out the truth.

“I had to go away and clear my head-“

“Without telling me? Without sending a single owl? Don’t you know how worried I was?” you riled up again, now finding the strength to get up from the bed.

Sebastian stood again, now you could see how he was significantly taller than you. He crossed his arms, “Go on.”

You scoffed loudly, “Go on? I have much to say to you, Sallow. I spent years trying to get us to where we were before the incident… but you just ran away! Like a coward!”

“A coward?” He shook his head, a bitter grin plastered across his face, “Do you even try to listen to yourself? Have you ever, during those years, thought about what I was dealing with? Yes, I was eternally thankful that you didn’t send me to the Ministry, but have you ever thought about what it felt like to see the people closest to me deathly scared of me?”

“I saw how you and Ominis grimaced whenever I held my wand. I knew what you both thought, you are scared that I would use the Dark Arts again. You said you trusted me, but I know we were never be able to go back to where it was before.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again as you turned away from him. He was right, you had clinged on to the hope that your things would be the same again because of your selfish desire to have Sebastian. “You didn’t even come to your sister’s funeral.” You whispered.

“She never said that she wanted to see me again. The least I can do is to honor her wish.” He said coldly, taking another sip of the wine.

“Then why did you join…” you turned to him, eyeing the tattoo on his arm, “that group? Is cutting us out from your life not enough?”

“I tried to stay away from the Dark Arts, I truly do. But… The potential that I felt… I still believe that there are more to it than just forbidden curses. And, don’t you see that we only inflict them on crime suspects? How is that different from what you Aurors do?”

You fell silent.

“Morality is a strange concept, is it not?” Sebastian scoffed. “Just like your special ability with Ancient Magic. The difference is that I chose to embrace it.”

You took the flask from his hand, taking a big swing, the whole ordeal took a toll on you. Walking closer to the desk, you glanced over the old Dark Art books – probably stolen from the restricted section years ago, several letters sprawled on the surface, and to your surprise, you pulled a tattered ribbon, stuck between stacks of journal.

It was very difficult to make sure you have all your belongings packed in your trunk when tears wouldn’t stop streaming from your eyes, wetting the pile of crumpled clothes under you. On top of that, your hair was getting in the way of your sight. You searched for the ribbon that you’ve been wearing to tie your hair – a silk ribbon of your house color that Sebastian gifted you on your first birthday at Hogwarts. You couldn’t find it anywhere, you’d thought you most likely dropped the item at the Undercroft. Never mind then, maybe it’s better that way, easier for you to forget Sebastian.

Deep in your personal thoughts, you didn’t even realize the footsteps slowly closing in on you. His warm breath caressed your nape, sending quivers down your spine, feeling goosebumps all over your body. Both excitement and fear took over you – even after all this time, there were some nights that you would find your fingers inside your undergarments, imagining Sebastian’s deep brown eyes on top of you. Carefully, he ran his fingers through your long hair, cascading down to your back. He grasped a strand of hair, bringing it against his lips, “You kept your hair long… Just the way I like it.” You hated to admit the truth, but you have been growing your hair ever since Sebastian made a remark that he ‘thinks long haired girls are very attractive’.

Gathering the last bits of courage you have, you turned around to face the imposing figure behind you. God, you were utterly bewitched by him. Your hands found their rest on the edge of the desk, taking a mental note that you were as cornered as lamb beneath its prey. Sebastian dared to get closer, his leg nestled between yours, calloused hands laid on top of yours, interlacing your fingers with his. In the corner of your eye, you were drawn to focus on a small tattoo just below his ear. It was an initial. Your initials, eternally inked on his freckled skin. “Sebastian,” you gently whispered, “all this time?”

“Always.”

The world stopped moving as he laid his lips against yours.

One

You breathed in. Ashes. Sandalwood. Musk.

Two

Three

Four

Sebastian Sallow tasted the same as he did years ago.

A/N: Thank you thank you thank you so much for reading my works! I’ve been thinking about this story for days now. I never thought that I would be writing again, but the love I’ve received from the HL community encouraged me to share my stories. Hope you enjoyed this one. I’m thinking to do a second part with mature themes. Please let me know your thoughts! <3

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x f!reader #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfic #natsai onai #ominis gaunt #sebastian #harry potter #wizarding world #hhhhhh i hope you all like this #poured my heart and soul into this #love yous

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bagel-boy-sama · 7 months

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Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Isn't A TumblrSexyMan™, He's Just A SexyMan™

I've seen a large number of people, most of whom are in the Astarion Disliker/"I don't get it" camp most who are not on this particular hell site, cite Astarion as Tumblr's latest sexyman. Today, I will be explaining why I do not believe that to be the case. That instead, as the title states, he's just a sexyman.

No real knowledge of the hell site is required, I'll explain things for the new people.

Setting The Definitions

First, definitions because this is now Intro to Writing and Rhetoric. A sexyman would be anyone, usually masc or a man, who is concidered sexy by a wide range of people. Fascinating.

A Tumblr Sexyman, on the other hand, is a thing - usually fictional entity - that is incredibly popular on Tumblr.com to the degree it escapes it's fandom sometimes, in the most extreme of cases, becoming far more popular than it's original fandom. It is characterized by a few major characteristics. Ranging from Twinkism* (be it the character or fan interpretation), generally unconventionally/perceived to be unconventionally attractive in a non physical sense (character traits that wouldn't otherwise be desirable, like absurd behavior or generally evilness), to impeccable drip (either in the original media/design, or done by fans in fanart).

*note: Twinkism (which I did just throw in on the spot this is entirely bullshit for my own amusement) is the phenomenon of skinny, young looking, pretty/feminine white boys who are within media. This is different from twinks, who are understood to be young and skinny - being pretty, popular, or white is not connected. All those who participate in Twinkism are Twinks, but not all Twinks participate in Twinkism.

Does Astarion Baldurs Gate 3 Fit The Definition?

First rule: must be at least a twink. Is he?

No. Yes. Kinda. In a way. Many people would describe Astarion as someone who's gone through "Twink Death". No this is not because he's literally undead. Twink Death, in it's simplest form, is when a twink no longer looks young and/or feminine. Astarion has aged. His crows feet and laugh lines, while beautiful, do not make him look 18. For some this would disqualify him from being a Twink. So perhaps he has failed at the first step.

I, however, am not satisfied with that. Moving on, is Astarion - or would Astarion - actually be considered conventionally unattractive in any way that is disconnected from his appearance? I argue no. Vampires are considered very well, normal to lust after. They're right below succubus on the "This isn't considered weird to find attractive" scale. You aren't romancing The Emperor here. Outside of that he's well groomed, shown to be muscular in game (headcanon does often disagree and while I wish it was true we are working with facts for this specific discussion), and an elf. In personality, while not for everyone, he's the pretty standard fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish. We all know a fruity sarcastic gay who's a bit selfish, and they get laid. So it can't be considered that bad. Probably.

I feel important to note here that I am aroace and have no idea what I'm talking about right now. This is an educated guess.

Astarion has lost now, two for two. He's barely a twink, even going off of his model he's more a twunk. He definitely doesn't fit the Twinkism phenomenon. He's not weird to find attractive, I assume, so what else is there? His drip? I'm sorry, but his base outfit is a bit well Goofy to say the least. Much fanart leaves him in this outfit or a simpler version because drawing ruffles is enough to make anyone want to willingly jump headfirst into the underdark, so he fails the drip test as well.

His final hurtle: is his popularity Tumblr™. In this context Tumblr™ is different from Tumblr. Tumblr™ is the fandom side, where a sexyman would flourish and find their own fandom. Importantly, this fandom needs to be very insular to the site. It's a *Tumblr* sexyman after all. So that begs the question, is Astarion highly liked by mostly or purely Tumblr people/those who have the vibes of a Tumblr user? No.

Astarion is well loved by many people of various vibes. He has affected (previously) straight men on Reddit. Few can escape him and his 10 charisma.

Conclusion

Astarion is just a sexyman. He's just a fictional character that many think is neat and attractive for a variety of reasons. He's the Ryan Reynolds of crpgs. He's some dude, who's generally considered attractive by a lot of people who you both would and wouldn't expect to find him attractive.

#This only matters because when he's inevitably included in a Tumblr sexyman thing that's probably not even on here I'll know that I spent #30 minutes writing a weird essay thing about why he isn't really a Tumblr sexyman #look forward to receiving this link poor souls who decided to be my friend. ive converted all of you to Astarion fans so actually youll like #it probably. im such a good influence #astarion #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 spoilers #purely because i mentioned the emperor #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate posting #im so sorry to anyone who actually read this genuinely why. if this gets more than 2 notes im going to be homicidal #also F for my followers who dont care about bg3 sorry besties.

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