#feel free not to read this it’s me venting about life! how fun

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying #the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored #but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either #so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do? #how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask #but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao #i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make #me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go) #but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response #then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up. #so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does #that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings. #i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people #and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught #or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting #oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words. #hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in #but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like #lee rants #im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff #only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation #but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭

[hadakzu]

Hawks x reader comfort (for parentification)

I don't know how to summarize this, I'm just exposing myself here lmaooo.

Giving a big warm hug to anyone who has had to deal with anything like this!❤️🫂❤️🫂 You're amazing and I hope you're doing okay!💖💕

Otherwise gn, but the reader is called a mom/ second mother of the family.

Content warnings:

parentification, looking after younger siblings, neglect and emotional abuse, mention of being beaten (keigos past), bit of suicidal talk, fighting between parents (mostly just verbal, but ig could be read as more), mommy daddy issues, slightly hinting of substance use (but it's not focused on), small talk of moving a lot, fear of others safety (?), feeling of being alone, Keigo's parents saying he'd better off.

(Please let me know if I missed anything, I try to add if I notice more)

"It's just... not fair. I was a child too.. so why did it feel like I was the only reasonable adult in there.."

You had your arms wrapped to his sides, using his chest as a pillow as you vented about your day. Having your mother visit brought back various of emotions and thoughts. Still feeling fresh like a unhealed cut. Trying to heal from it was still hard. Accepting the truth making you just feel like an ungrateful brat, because it wasn't really that bad, even though it definitely felt like it.. What right did you have to feel this hurt? It could've been far worse..

Thank god you had Hawks here by your side. His hand on the back of your head, feeling your hair, softly playing with it as he listened to your chain of thoughts. Letting you talk, while reassuring you weren't being unreasonable to feel like this at all. Listening you speak and explain it all, made him also feel upset and sad for you and your younger self past. Absent with the carefree joy you should have had. He could relate to that feeling, even if he couldn't totally understand your path. Growing up too fast was something he could totally understand, it wasn't easy or fun. It quite honestly sucked.

"It's like they act like It's normal, to have been called a mom by my younger sibling.. Like it's fun or normal how they joke about it so lightly, saying I have always just been the more responsible and caring one... the second mother of the family... Saying it came naturally, when really I had no choice but to become like one. Everytime I visit or see them, there's not a single time she wouldn't call me that, like it's supposed to be a compliment. When really it just reminds me of the pain.. reminding I'm supposed to hide myself and be more independent "

He could hear the underlying anger in your voice, even though you talked about it remotely calm, it was clear you felt hurt by it all. Feeling like you had been left to carry all the burden of your family, trying to keep it together so it wouldn't fall. Afraid of what would happen if you weren't strong enough. Fighting alone for so long, while trying to ensure your siblings would feel more loved, to make sure they had someone with free of judge. Experience unconditional love from your part.

Hawks didn't have any siblings of his own, it had always been just him alone, so it felt a bit foreign for him, hearing about a family as large as yours. It was new, house full of kids in many ages. But he was curious of what it was like, trying to imagine how it would feel to have a younger sibling.. or an older one too. Trying to understand how different life would look like from your point of view. Hearing you describe growing up with younger siblings in dysfunctional family, how it had been both a curse and a blessing at the same time, the coin always has two sides afterall.

At least you didn't have to deal with the bullshit completely alone, even though it had been mostly you caring for them all. Surrounded by many, it was chaos as it own, not to mention everything else that came along..

Remembering the time before it all started, or before you had understood something was wrong.. When you were somewhat free of that load.. But had life really been easier before stepping into that boat? Trying to keep it afloat while surrounded by waves of a storm.

Not being taken seriously when you had felt hurt, having someone laugh while tears fell down your shirt, people getting angry when you were trying your best. Crying under the covers, hiding from the world, wishing you had never ever been, you weren't meant to live in here. Praying for god, could you to be taken away from this place. Not because it'd be easier for you, but because you didn't want to be a burden, a disappointment.. Feeling as they would have been better off, if you weren't there to just make mistakes a lot... You were just a kid, how could you have known any better, if they never taught you how? Just expected to figure it out in your own little head, struggling with the quilt of even being here.

Seeing your younger siblings grow up, you didn't want them to go down the same path, they deserved more than that. So you stepped up, not trusting your parents wouldn't also mess them up.

Who would have thought being useful for your parents, especially to your mother, would make it easier to deal with that quilt. Suddenly being praised for being so mature of your age, always helping around, it felt good to be needed, to be noticed, praised. Maybe you had finally earned their love, being seen as human with a voice and real thoughts, one of the wise ones. You weren't being a trouble anymore, hiding your struggles, hiding your pain. You just wished you wouldn't feel anymore hurt by pushing those away. You were now the therapist, the peacemaker of the family. It couldn't be the other way around, surely helping them out was your job.

He rubbed your back, thinking how much burden you must have had, how hard it must have felt. How hurt you must have been, so that pushing your needs away felt easier than bringing them to the surface for someone else to see, for someone to hear. Unable to deal with the feeling of not being taken seriously.

He too, had learned to mirror his value on what he could offer for others. Being called names, the words of being better off not only in his head, when he was being just a kid, born in a family not understanding or capable of meeting his needs. It had been tough, carefully tip toying around avoiding for getting beaten up, by the man supposed to be his dad.. Trying to see life beyond those doors, Keigo could barely play around. Having to sit quietly, lucky if he got to watch the heroes on the screen.

After he and his mother ended up on the streets, his wings were only thing noticed about him. What he could do, what they could be used. Kid trying to take care for them both, trying to stay strong. Do the best he could from what he knew, having to put on these adult shoes.

Being taken in by the commision, it was all about creating Hawks, forgetting Keigo to be completely gone. It was always all about saving others, the burden of being good enough for others, being worthy of living this life, doing it for someone else, proving his worth for himself.

He could understand his own way, also being parentified kid himself. Not neccesarily your exact experience itself, your pasts were very different in many ways, but the feelings from it were close ones, something he had felt. Even if you two had come to feel it from different ends. Both of you had had to figure out lot of things by yourselves, do things not appropriate for your age. Trying to learn how to take time for your own mental health, to not break down under all the stress.

It was hard, to be constantly on the run, always aware of things, ready to instantly swoop in. It was exhausting, losing yourself for others, being the one keeping them on the surface. While your own boat was slowly sinking down. Feeling the tension in your chest tightening from all the pressure of being under the cold sea. Trying to catch a breathe, while being pushed further down by the waves merciless.

Do this, do that, help with this and that.

"You are right, it's not fair. No kid should have to go through that, to feel that kind of burden in their back. You deserved to be a child too."

His voice sounded sad, thinking of younger you.. and thinking bit of Keigo too. He hadn't had the chance to fully take a seat and process what a roller coaster of a life he had had. He knew it wasn't exactly right what he had had to go through, but always tried to focus on the good. Although guilt was something that was whispering in the back of his head... Leaving his mother.. feeling he failed.. Even when he had been young, even when he really didn't have a choice. He still felt like he failed to save her, leaving only family he had left.. He wished he could have done more, part of him missed her, yearning to know her.

He was the son, but he still felt somewhat quilty for the kind of life she had had, thinking if he could have done more than that.

His mind wandering little to his childhood as you told your story, you made him think a lot more of his own origin... or more like he started to feel more for his younger self too. He had thought about it a lot, but he felt somehow distant from his own past.. from that small Keigo he had once been.

Listening your story, thinking how fucked up it was for a child to deal with these things. It finally clicking in his head how bad it had actually been, how badly it could affect persons mental health. How it still affected him.

He saw your past still haunting your mind too.

"I- I just feel bad... for feeling this hurt knowing it wasn't easy for her either.. She needed someone to help around, she couldn't have done it alone.. it shouldn't be her that I'm even mad at. ..even if she wasn't always the best either.."

He kissed the top of your head, caressing your back while listening your words. Taking in what you needed to say, letting out the frustration you had felt. Noticing from your words, how you were carrying somewhat similar quilt for himself, about something out of your control, something that wasn't your fault. Feeling defensive for her behalf, even at times you shouldn't have had. He had to say something about that, making sure you wouldn't blame it all on yourself, validating your feelings of being hurt.

"You have every right to feel this hurt, don't blame it on yourself. Her actions are her own responsibility, not yours. No matter how hard it is, parents shouldn't neglect their childs emotional needs. It's not the child's job to be the one relied on either, it should always be the parents job. ..and even if you can understand why it happened.. it doesn't make it any more right."

You knew he was right, you really did, but it still felt like you were betraying her by admitting to something like that... sure you had known how your younger siblings had been neglected in ways, not been understood and blamed for being just kids.. Growing up in unstable home, of course they would act out. But to say that about yourself.. made you just feel uncomfortable, thinking you got the easy part in all that, still feeling little defensive for her behalf.

"..yeah, I know.."

You agreed for sure, but still sounding little hesitant of your words. You couldn't shake the feeling of sympahty for her, she wasn't perfect, neither were you.. you could have also done more.. Even though you felt angry for her about many things too, it wasn't as simple.

"It's not her that I'm really even that mad at though... o-or well about some things yes... but it wouldn't have been that bad if he would have taken some of that load of her back..! You know... do the things parent is supposed to do. It should be obvious, not something a child should have to point out... "

He could hear the frustration in your voice grow, this was clearly something you felt resentment about. One of the few topics that actually got you heated up, even to the point of feeling actual anger, and he understood completely. You had told him bits about it here and there, like when you had felt frustrated to visit your family again, only to have your father to ditch you his chores like you usual. How almost your whole childhood you had had to fill in his role, having a father not participating much, avoiding his tasks as a dad, leaving it to you and your mother to handle.

Why should have he had to worry about a thing? You were better at watching after them anyways, he was already tired enough, having fun out there. What a burden to have to sleep after that all day. It just wasn't fair.

"I was nine, when I started to look after my little brother... Trying to sooth him down when he cried.. Sometimes waking up at nights for that, wanting my mom to sleep more for a change too. I was the one mostly taking care of him when my mother wasn't around.. I don't understand how he could just ignore a baby's crying? Too 'busy' of doing something else, never actually helping out, but still having time to complain about insignificant things, being a petty child himself."

You could remember the countless days arguing with your father about basic things, laughing out of frustration with how absurd it had felt. Having to parent a grown ass man, defending your mother with the last of energy you had.

Trying to bring some kind of sense into this chaos, not letting the bullshit of your parents just slip out. Why should a kid have to understand how to behave, if the adults in this house never learned to do it either? Why should the kids be held more accountable about small things, if the parents couldn't admit their mistakes or apologizes themselves either.

Watching your siblings grow while new ones were born. Feeling the anxiety in your chest grow, you loved your siblings a lot, but sometimes it felt more of a burden than not.

"It... hurt. Watching it just get worse over the years, protecting them from all the mean words.. Having to lecture my own parents how to behave, how to care, what not to say to a little kid. The amount of times I would have to step up, be the more grown up.."

You sounded somewhat hesitant to talk about it, realizing just how absurd it sounded when saying it out loud. You were so used to it being the norm, forgetting just how messed up it had been at times.

"I knew it wasn't right.. I mean the way they raised us most of the time.. I read many articles of it to make sure I wasn't just imagining it myself, being overly dramatic like they had said. Trying to learn how to parent my siblings myself instead.. While trying to teach my parents to be more consider of their emotional state."

He felt sad for you and your younger siblings too, hearing you tell stories of moments where you guys weren't treated right.

Having been child who had had to listen all sorts of things coming from his parents mouth, it hurt to imagine others having to experience something similar in that regard. Knowing words would be something that would last, but glad at least someone had their back. Even though it was unfair, you shouldn't have had to be the first one they would turn. Still he couldn't help but admire your strenght, how you would go beyond your way to ensure your siblings felt more cared and safe. Go between fights, listen to their thoughts, taking into consiridation that they were still young and small. Knowing they couldn't understand everything, but explaining them about things more calm. Not yelling at them if they didn't know any better, but definitely having a long talk with the one that did.

Even though he admired that about you a lot, it still pained him to know you even had to think or worry about things like that. You shouldn't have had to carry that heavy of a bag with you, it was never meant for you, yet it was forced on you. He made a mental note to you make sure you wouldn't have to go through something like that again, to hold your struggles inside, to carry the world on your back. alone. When he and his wings were right here, ready to lift some of that heaviness off your chest.

"There um.. was time my parents were fighting a lot.. there uh- was lot going on in general.. My dad did some questionable things.. I knew way too many things about their relationship, involved in stuff I shouldn't have had... Back then I also often had to watch after my siblings whole days and sometimes even at nights.. making sure they ate, trying to comfort them when they were feeling unsure and scared.. They were such a anxious kids, like we all were living in unstable home like that. Having to move around a lot, never knowing when another big fight would unfold.. I always read them a good night stories when I could, trying to make the time between just as kids more fun. Hugging them at night when being asked when would they be back... Not knowing the answer for that, while wondering the same in my head. Reassuring them it would be okay, patiently singing to them until they would fall asleep.. Then later crying myself too.. They just deserved so much more, I wish I could have given more.."

That sounded exhausting and sad, having to take care of them that long while having no idea when your parents would be back. Having to be the rock they could lean on, trying to be stable for them when your parents couldn't. What also spoke volume of your parents effect on you guys, was when you told him despite it being hard, it was much more peacfull when they weren't around. Seeing how your siblings were also smiling more, not having to be yelled at crying too long. It just broke your heart, thinking why it couldn't be like that even when they were there too. How hard could it be to be a decent for your own young kids.

Your heart wasn't only one to break, when he heard you speak how hard it had been for them, but never totally focusing on how you had felt. Like it was automatic reaction you did, to shift the spotline of your pain on someone who had gone through 'worse.'

It didn't go unnoticed by him.

You also told him how you checked up on your mom, feeling uneasy of not knowing what was happening between them. You were too used to being on top of everything, listening to every word, trying to create clear picture of things. You know.. just in case it started to sound like you should have to hop in between, often hoping he would honestly just leave.. Feeling he brought more hurt than good, seeing his face and just wanting to scream at it loud.

Hawks knew how tiring it could be, to try to analyze every little thing, to make sure you didn't miss anything. To be hyper aware of everything, because well.. it was his job sure, but also something he had learned from a very young, living in a shithole of a home.

Thinking himself how you being responsible of so many, must have felt the world would be ending if you couldn't keep doing what was expected of you. Being under pressure at all times, having your mind run miles. How old had you been again..? Nine when the parentification had slowly started... not that it had been too great before that either, and going on pretty much until you had eventually had to move out?

Who had been taking care of you?

Ask you, how you were too?

On top of that you had to also deal with school, trying live life outside home too. It was hard, worried you'd be needed when you werent around.. Anxiety of being unaware, hoping your siblings knew they were still cared. Actually having to skip school over that fear too, fearing of leaving them there alone. Also staying home when offering to help your parents with something that again, shouldn't have been your job.. but why would they refuse, you were being helpful.

Still often feeling like you should have done more, done better job at protecting them from all the internal war. Was there something you had missed..? Thinking if you could have done something more early on... what if this was somehow your fault..?

"..did you, have anyone to look after you? To.. check up on how you were feeling.. how you were holding up in the middle of all that? Supporting you through the storms too?"

He was quite sure he already knew the answer for that, the way he had seen you act, he wished it didn't have to be like that. Having this idea in your head, that you were supposed to handle it all by yourself, having had hard time to lean on him first too, open up when you had felt doomed. From the sounds of your words and knowing more of your past, it sounded like you had been alone carrying everyone else, while suffering in silence all by yourself. It pained him to hear, but your silence to his question only confirmed it. You didn't want to say it out loud. Admit of feeling so alone and lost, having to navigate through everything without help. While still trying to comfort and convince yourself with the thought, that it wasn't really that bad, that it could have been far worse.

"Well I'm here now. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, it never should have been your responsibility to take care of them.. You were just kid trying to survive and keep peace in the house, that takes a lot.. It's a lot for anyone but especially a child. You did incredible considering what tools you got. It wasn't your fault or up to you to fix that, but I know for sure your siblings are grateful for you just having been there, you're so sweet and thoughtful. I see the love and care whenever you talk about them, and I know they can feel it as well. I kinda wish I had someone like you when I grew up, just having someone to lean on can do a lot."

His words and sweet gestures honestly meant a lot, the words about your siblings hitting pretty hard, assuring you that you had done more than enough. That all your work wasn't unseen, it had made bigger impact that you'd let yourself believe.

He held you in his arms, covering your form under his soft feathers, feeling more protective of you after all he had heard, keeping you safe in his embrace. Knowing this wasn't even half of the story, just a scratch on the surface you had shown. Trusting him enough to share part of your path, wanting him to see all your different sides, even if it was uncomfortable at first.

"I hope now I can be someone you can lean on too, you shouldn't have to go through everything alone.. You deserve to be taken care of too, you don't have to suffer alone anymore. It's okay to admit being hurt. You don't always have to act strong, even though I know you're are, but you don't have to be that all of the time. I'm here now. I got your back like I know you got mine, no more of that one sided caring, alright? It should always go both ways with the people you're close. I want to be someone close to you, and with your thoughts and feelings too. Those deserve to be heard also."

Moment of silence as you let those words sink in, his embrace tightening to feel you more close, to emphasize his words. Letting you know it was okay to express your feelings too, he would never just dismiss them like some others had. Showing you, you weren't left alone. Not when he was around.

"And he, honestly sounds like an ass.. he should have done more than that, he was a parent too, an adult. I don't know everything he has done, but I can still say it was unfair and unjustified the things he did and the things he didn't do. I'm sorry he put you through that. You deserved better than that."

When he called him an ass, it was so sudden you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. It came out of nowhere, but it honestly felt good to have someone say that too, oddly satisfying of seeing someone call him out on his crap too, not just brushing it off. Showing how he was pissed off for your behalf, maybe it was okay for you to feel like that as well.. To still be angry for things, that before this, had gone unheard for years.

Caressing your face as he looked at you fondly, with mix of sadness and admiration in his eyes. He felt honored to feel this close to you, to be let on something this huge. Thats how it definetely felt at least, and you were tired of pretending like it didn't. It had been hard and it still hurt a lot.

You got the feeling he understood some aspects of it himself, knowing how you felt. Propably being parentified kid himself.. thats how you felt at least, you could sense it in him, like you were wearing his sensitive wings instead.

You were right of course, keeping you close while thinking your past. Maybe someday he would open about his too, knowing you would care and not judge him, hoping you had some of that unconditional love left for him too.. for Keigo. He sure as hell had that for you, it only growing every day spend with you.

He would be here for you.

"Thank you Hawks. That honestly means a lot.. I'm.. glad you are here."

A smile appeared on his face. Gently bringing a finger under your chin, slowly raising your head so your eyes met his, cherising your beautifull face. Making sure you felt seen. He could still sense the lingering uncertainity on your face, after bringing all this to the surface, from the cold sea.

He leaned in to a soft kiss, making sure you felt nothing but warm and cared. Simmering down those huge waves, feeling more calm and safe. You didn't have to sail through the storms alone, now he would help you navigate through them with you, like the boat was his own.

Afterall you two were sailing in it together from now on.

"I'm glad I'm here too"

(I don't know if this turned out exactly the way I wanted but it's okayy🙏 I'll probably write another one with this topic but bit differently at some point)

#hawks x reader #I don't know what this is but if someone asks this is not me~ #hawks x reader comfort #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #parentification #parentified child #keigo takami x reader comfort #hawks #keigo tamaki #mha hawks comfort #parentified #aaaaa this is just me processing stuff but I'm okay and this is just some worst stuff added together it's much better now lmao

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[slxthxrxn-sxmp]

jurassic park headcanon request where they've been pining for a while and finally ask them out!

Ummm… ABSOLUTELY!

i hope this is what you imagined anon lol

Warnings: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE GIFS, Explicit language i guess, oblivious peoples lol,, kissing, in Kayla’s portion there’s a dude being a jerk so beware of that, alcohol consumption, not beta read or edited

Tags: @druigswh0ree

❖ Alan Grant

- Let’s just say the both of you were completely clueless of the feelings being harbored but everyone you guys encountered automatically picked up on it  - He can’t quite remember when he had developed feelings. It was a subtle thing that crept in slowly and then snuck up on him like a robber in the night (needless to say he was not the first to have feelings in the relationship)  - You on the other hand remember the moment you had feelings and it was not subtle it was a brick to your face. He had been at a convention for his book, talking to all sorts of people, and yet he always kept an eye on you making sure to glance up from what he was doing to find you. When the day was done he drove you home opening and closing your door for you  - Alan subconsciously noticed the change in your demeanor but thought it didn’t have to do with him. Anytime he tried asking about it you have him a short answer and changed the topic  - Something he didn’t even think about is the way he is always besides you practically attached at the hip and this just absolutely made you fall even harder for him - Then you just had to follow him to that god forsaken island (a/n you can choose which movie first, third, or even the latest one)he loved the way you had that survivors instinct. Now you were always and forever amazing in his eyes but seeing  this other part of you that was totally badass, taking charge he knew he was in for the ride of his life - And yet he didn’t confess to you during a life or death situation like those movies, hell he didn’t even confess on the island. No he decided that a helicopter ride back to the mainland was the perfect time, I mean you can’t run away right  - “So I uhh think drinks are an order, you and me?” It was whispered his confidence a little  rocky after everything that happened  - “You and me ?” You whispered back wind sucked out of your lungs  - He out right smiled and brought you close to his side, resting his head on top of yours, “You and me.”  - Yeahhh lets just say it took him YEARS literal years

❖ Ellie Sattler

- She fell first but just thought you deserved a life free of the limits of a relationship despite her being aware of your feelings, you were being very obvious - little touches no matter where you are (unless you are uncomfortable with it) she rests a hand on your back, between your shoulder blades, you shoulder, you elbow. She likes to show you she is physically and mentally there for you - her favorite past time with you is going museum hopping loving to travel through time and around the world with you - will willingly let you rant or vent to her as long as she can do the same thing - you will have to enable her behavior of taking down crazy ceos - Even while you guys were “just friends” she loves to cuddle especially if you guys are pulling all nighters - Both of you go to protests for climate change and anything else and y’all can’t change my mind - but it’s not on one of your chaotic days that you both confess it’s actually on a lazy day of watching true crime and she asks you to be her plus one to her cousins wedding - you kiss her on a whim which leads to a more intense cuddle session and her whispering how long she’s been waiting to do that

❖ Ian Malcolm

- I’d say you both fell at the same time - At first the flirting between you two was just games and for fun((( well it was for him because at first you would just shake  your head and blush or shooting him down but soon you gained confidence and started flirting right back with him which stumped him - This man is gobsmacked but recovers quickly - He likes to place his hand on the small of your back that small intimacy drives the both of you crazy - Of course the two of you are way too stubborn to confess both wanting the other to say something first - You always find yourself floating back to him physical in social settings - Long phone calls in which he will talk and talk and eventually it’s a silent call where you guys are just indulging in the presence of one another - Expect him to bring you coffee, tea, or any other drink ever few days just cause   - You give him little Knick knacks and such or books that you enjoyed that is the best way to his heart - He’d be the first one to break, asking you to a cheesy karaoke bar  - The two of get so drunk and song as many outrageous songs together <333

❖ Claire Dearing

-(This girl gave me so much trouble ) - she is a businesswoman who doesn’t understand why society makes her feel like she can’t have a good job AND a nice relationship so as the person she is she goes out of her way to find a good partner who can fit with her lifestyle - so her friends take her out for a girls night which then leads to seeing some high school friends that’s where you come in - Claire had a crush on you all of high school never brave enough to talk to you just admiring from the distance - Now it’s still the same, she can face billionaires and dinosaurs but not a stunning person - It’s up to you to go say hi to her in the line for the club - turns out you had the fattest crush on her too - the night was full of banter and buying each other drinks - at the end of the with slurred speech you tell each that you need to get to get her soon and talk - days pass before you follow her on social media then send her a text - it’s weeks before you meet up just talking to each other on FaceTime and text - She’ll send you flowers saying that she just thought they were pretty - When the time finally comes she convinces you to come to the island to see the park (you force her to let you pay for plane tickets but she insists that everything else is on her since she couldn’t come to the mainland to you - Cue a beautiful day at the park where you make her see the magic of the park once more 

❖ Owen Grady

- After the stuff he’s been through I think it’ll take a while for him to even realize he likes you - between you and me you guys probably met at a rag tag bar and he was probably showing off his dart skills - PLEASE You would definitely show him up so like the gentleman he buys you a round of whatever you want - next thing you know your friends are pulling you away to go to the next bar (little did you know that he had slipped a napkin with his number on it into your pocket - come Monday you get to your new job and guess who’s one of your coworkers? Mr handsome from the bar - after a few awkward days he invites you to a different bar - “Not like as a date date just like a drinking buddy thing.” He told you - but soon he’s checking up on you during work make sure your not working yourself to death - Those drinking buddy dates turned to hikes turned to stargazing and soon enough you were the one who had to get the confidence and ask him what you guys are - his stomach drops and that is the precise moment he realizes ‘oh shit’ he absolutely adores you- “Why don’t we find out ? Let’s go to that that fancy Thai restaurant at 7 I’ll pick you up.” - Expect him to appear at your door at 6:50 with a big bundle of flowers looking the best he can

❖ Zach Mitchell

- This Romeo was in love before he even knew you - He will try to act cool maybe play a little hard to get - of course he will slip up a whole bunch  XD - expect study get togethers for college mostly at the library but one particular time you guys go over to his house. Let’s just say his mom absolutely loves you for your manners/helping Zach get more involved in school, his dad finds the dynamic between you and his son adorable almost reminding him of the young love him and his wife used to have, and the most important person Gray at first he’s not quite sure but when you actually listen to him ramble about Dinos he decides that you are the perfect one for Zach - now we all know that our guy Zach when not in a relationship can get distracted easily by…. Others but this surprising rapidly changes for him after getting close to you - After meeting his family that’s when you fell for him, watching how he’s interacted with his brother and played around with his dad and even helping his mom with dinner preparations -You knew he was a player to say the least so you tried to push feelings aside even distancing yourself from him - But Zach wasn’t really having any of it texting you good morning and good night everyday and even making sure to hand you an energy drink or coffee during the shared class of yours so eventually you gave in allowing yourself to be swallowed by the love you felt for the man - in the end it’s his brother who asks you to a date for Zach plain out calls you one day saying - “The local pizza arcade with Zach 6:30 don’t be late.” - the little weasel was something else because he then called Zach saying something similar and surprisingly you both went arriving at 6:30 sharp - it was the best day of your life

❖ Franklin Webb

- I personally believe that this man is a helpless romantic at heart and I will die on this hill  - You care about Dinos and will do anything for them ? In love.  - You will talk to him about government conspiracy theories ? In love.  - You help him with work or ask him what he wants at a cafe you are heading to during break ? In love. - But he will keep all of this to himself. Attempt to flirt ( unsuccessfully)  - He will buy you things and try to play it off as ‘Oh I thought of you when I saw it. It’s really nothing at all. Don’t worry about.’  - After work life is pretty domestic with him borrowing sugar from each other, watching tv shows together, having a makeshift book club with each other. There was always something between you two that was a little more than friends  - Hell you guys even had sleepover in either his or your living room. You were always the first one to fall asleep and during those nights he would look at you seeing how peaceful you are in the tv light  - Takes you to his home on holidays to see his family because they all love you  - These events can go two different way  1. You being absolutely oblivious to his attempts and you both end up slipping into a situationship until one day you introduce him to someone as your boyfriend  2. You grow some balls and ask him on some dates yourself and then eventually ask him to be your boyfriend

❖ Zia Rodriguez

- She will refuse to admit that she kinda likes you almost seeing as a relationship with how the world is as a distraction but she has such a soft spot for you - the two of you look after each other because I feel like you two started out as friends and the two of you have similar work ethics so every once an a while one of you will send a little text to the other - you buy her cute little stickers for her laptop because she liked the look of your sticker covered computer - while she buys you cute stuffed animals that she finds Dino’s in particular but if you have a thing for squishmallows you can bet she’ll try buy everyone she sees (sometimes she gets you duplicates but you know it’s the thought - You two love to watch tv shows together and rant to each other about them this happens every other week - one of these times she falls asleep in the middle of the episode so you pause the tv and glance to her - “god you’re so pretty.” - to your surprise her eyes crack open -“you really think so babe?” Her voice was gravely and tired -“I absolutely do baby.” - and she smiled eyes closing again, you feel asleep too not long after 

❖ Kayla Watts

- She falls so goddamn hard  - Literally doesn’t even have to talk to you. She sees you once and is in love with your hair your face your body language. When she finally talks to you ? She is head over heels.  - Will try her hardest to impress you in anyway Loves just,,… talking to you  - For you, it takes you longer but you definitely think it’s cute how she’s acting. After a while she gets comfortable with you and then one day she takes you to the Dino black market (after instructing you to stay by her side the whole time) - Some random person shoved you out of the way while you were looking at one of the cute baby dinosaurs and then said person decide to be an absolute pig  - Cue Kayla pummeling this person and then taking you to the bathroom barricading the door and cleaning you up  - That’s when you knew. Your heart tugs while in that bathroom and it wasn’t just because of your busted lip - “Kay ?” She was washing her face now in the sink and whipped around to you, drying her face with her sleeve quickly  - “No, honey your gonna make that cut worse.” And then she was fussing over you once more bringing a towel to your mouth. Kayla always wished to be this close to you but now in this situation it was like a nightmare. This was all her fault she should never have brought you here - You caught her wrist and looked into her eyes seeking comfort. “Can we just go back to the hotel you please. I just want to watch a movie and rest” - “Yeah yeah I can do that.” Just like that reality came crashing down on her. Her own mind telling her you would never want to see her again after this“ - And will you….. can you….. can you stay with me?” Kayla knows she shouldn’t have but she beamed at your question, chest inflating about five sizes  - “Of course I can honey.”  Just like that her arm was around you leading you out of the underground market and up to the hotel you two were staying at

#alan grant x reader #jurassic park x reader #anonymous #requested #request #ellie sattler x reader #alan grant headcanon #ellie Sattler headcanon #ian malcolm x reader #ian Malcolm headcanon #Claire Dearing x reader #Claire Dearing headcanon #Owen Grady x reader #owen Grady headcanon #Zach Mitchell x reader #Zach Mitchell head canon #Franklin Webb x reader #Franklin Webb headcanon #Zia Rodriguez x reader #Zia Rodriguez headcanon #Kayla watts x reader #Kayla watts headcanon

[miseryoforpheus]

intro post <3

Hey there!

Im Jamie and my pronouns are They/She/he

Im a neurospicy minor (but I will swear and also am fine being moots with/talking to adults as long as no one is a creep to me it’s all good)

Uhhh welcome to my online diary :|

Happy to make friends if u want - feel free to DM me

online diary blog w lots of Neil Gaiman reblogs bc he’s my idol

Fun facts about me:

Umm ok (trying to think of fun facts now)

Im Italian but grew up in England, would love some more Italian moots <3

my favourite authors are Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett (but it’s been like that since before I read good omens lmao) also Rick Riordan and Alice Oseman

certified gravity falls child

if u couldn’t tell by the URL I’m obsessed with Greek and Roman mythology

nostalgic for a time I wasn’t even alive - late 80s and early 90s mainly but also like 70s

nostalgic for a time I WAS alive (barely but it still counts bc I do remember it) - the late 2000s

I did a quiz to see what Beatles band member I’d be and got Paul Mcartney

damn u rlly don’t realise how boring u r till u try and do an about me huh

Music I like:

Hozier, Olivia Rodrigo, Conan Gray, Harry Styles, YUNGBLUD, Beatles, Elton John, Queen, Renée Rapp, TV girl, bears in trees, Ricky Montgomery, NOAHFINNCE, MARINA, Fleetwood Mac

getting into:

Nirvana [used to love them a few years ago but then a mean girl made fun of me for it so I stopped listening to them but I’m starting again]

Dominic Fike Paramore

mother mother

MCR

the neighbourhood

The tags I will use:

Jamie answers asks - u guessed it this is for answering any asks

the most boring soap opera - my life stuff because my life is the most boring soap opera

MOTD - mood of the day which is just a lil thing I do

for the record:

I stand with Palestine 🇵🇸

please click here every day:

also free Ukraine 🇺🇦

aro and ace people are LGBTQ+ and this is an aro and ace and aroace safe blog

in general this is a COMPLETELY safe space

if u want anyone to talk to btw I’m always here to chat, can’t guarantee i’ll be able to help but I am always willing to listen literally any time we don’t even have to be moots or anything just DM me ok? Ily all take care of yourselves ok loves? <3

Also one last thing just for ppl that know me, I have no problem with u following this blog or anything but be warned that I’m not gonna filter my opinion at all on here bc I need a place to be myself and if u don’t want to see that i understand and idm just pls don’t take it as a personal attack or anything if u ever think something I post relates to you, I promise it’s not I just need to vent <3

My MOTD ratings:

0-2 > feeling really really really shitty

3-4 > shitty like I have too much sadness and anger and everything inside me and it feels horrible and yeah yk [reckless behaviour is strong here for me + pretty strong intrusive thoughts]

5 > normal. Numb. Yucky. Normal level of intrusive thoughts [for me at least, everyone is different]

6-7 > smol happy, probably was a bad day that got better

7-8 > :D

9-10 > fucking ecstatic

#intro post #personal #online diary

[csphire]

So... Frazer the voice actor to Dammon doesn't want Tav or the Dark Urge to romance his character? Well, shit.

It's late, I'm tired and should be in bed, just saw the letter from Dammon from patch 5, and yeah I'm a little weepy now. So excuse any typos.

Fair warning: Just some venting below but no major spoilers.

Update: I've got a better understanding of where Frazer is coming from and a better solution suggestion is 👉here.

But feel free to read this slightly saltier 🧂post. lol

So wait... Frazer doesn't want more work? Why? I mean true, I don't really see Dammon getting along well with a Dark Urge or a Tav Murder Hobo type, but a majority of Dammon's fandom we genuinely adore him and Karlach. And, I'd like to think, most of us just love options. We want to romance him with Karlach and a player character of our own design too.

Would I romance him on every playthrough? Maybe or maybe not. But I do know it will be at least once as Karlach. (I'm on two immunosuppressants. I don't-can't get out much. I can sooo relate to her being touched-starved stuff. I cuss just as much as her too-if not more.) I've got no problem playing as her but again most of us want more options. So what's the problem?

For her, the devs could even put in a few special lines that are unique to their romance. Hells, I would romance them both all the way through the game with Tav if I could so nobody was feeling left out.

Respectfully, I don't understand what Frazer's hang-up is at all. But it feels like a slap in the face when Dammon has become a comfort character to so many of us. We're cheering him on and we're trying to drum up interest to get Frazer a bigger part.

We do this because some of us have a lot of shitty real-life stuff going on, and BG3 has become our escape. And, unlike every romance option we have so far, Dammon doesn't bring us big drama or a lot of demands to the table. Even as just a merchant, he somehow feels... just there for us... supportive. He's not just a pretty face to us, we seriously want to get to know Dammon just a little more! We want him to evolve and grow. We want to know what's his baggage. At this point many of us would settle for him to be just NPC we can romance-not a fling mind you. A full romance like what we see in Dragon Age Inquisition with Cullen or Josephine.

But wouldn't it be cool if we could get him as a full companion? One that could perhaps be an Artificer in a DLC that would introduce that class to the player too?

Even now, when my Tav visits him each day to sell their things, I forget for a little while all the crushing pressure on my play character's shoulders for a few minutes.

In early access, overhearing him grumble about wanting better tools had me roleplaying to collect every tool I could find. A little silly minnie quest. Giving him hammers, and other blacksmith-related stuff, for free taught me how to raise my relationship with a merchant and get a better discount.

Perhaps his simplicity or just his kindness is his appeal. Perhaps don't give him too much baggage if you flesh him out more please.

But how do we get around this Larian, if Frazer won't budge?

Hate to suggest this but consider, Dammon has a twin brother, a nearly identical one. Maybe he has more scars, a different hairstyle, have fun with his design. Oh, maybe he never takes his enchanted armor off, and we have to go into the relationship a bit blind with no idea what he looks like under it all at first. He finally takes his helmet off and seeing Dammon's face we're a little confused. Trust me, we will suspend our disbelief given magic and dragons, for starters, exist in this world. Dammon having a long-lost twin won't be a huge stretch.

So have the twin, instead of Dammon, drop as one of the stars in a DLC. Have him join our party as a fully fleshed-out, perhaps mysterious, companion featuring the Artificer class and fully romanceable. Finally, the fandom gets what we want, a male tiefling we can romance. Dammon can hammer away at his forge and pine for Karlach all he wants. Frazer can stand by whatever principles that are making him hesitant to take on a larger role, more acclaim, another paycheck, possibly more work, and maybe even a gaming voice acting award.

By all means Larian, please throw all that money and acclaim you would have thrown at him at another voice actor. Let the new guy have it all. Sure we'll still pine a bit over Dammon now and then. But if Frazer doesn't want a larger role, guess we'll have to try and respect that.

If you've got this far, thank you for reading, and feel free to share your thoughts.

#frazer blaxland #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #dammon #I'm sleepy #grumpy too and my filter is gone #I might delete this later #I'm worried it's coming off too mean #I'm just sad #really sad about this #🧂

[artemiseamoon]

How about you and me

Secret Santa fic for @din-jarhead | I hope you enjoy it. This was fun to write.

Frankie Morales x Reader (f) | friends to lovers

Words: 3,840 | A03

Warnings: disappointing sexual and dating history, p in v unprotected sex scene.

About: After a bad run of dates and getting fed up with the whole thing, you vent to your best friend Frankie (who you secretly love). He has a few ideas how to improve your situation.

An: fic is from readers POV mainly and the intro is Frankie’s. As always, no one reader will fit all (example - say the things you’d say) so you can read as an Oc if you prefer.

* since this is a gift fic for secret Santa i have posted in full*

Frankie kept his feelings to himself for a list of reasons, his career being number one.

Frankie has seen too many times what this work does to relationships. He knows firsthand. He did not want that with you - he’d never forgive himself if he messed it all up with you.

It's better this way, or so he tells himself, loving you secretly while being your best friend.

But now that he’s recently retired, and seeing you face constant disappointment in love and sex, Frankie thinks it’s time to speak up and give the possibility of you and him a chance.

✨✨✨

Thursday night

Humming contently, you relax against the red cushion of the diner booth. Before the sound fully leaves your lips, Frankie is already holding back a laugh as he chews his food.

“What?” You asked once you swallowed.

“All these years later, that's still your favorite thing on the menu.” He sits up, placing his elbows on the table across from you. “You still make that sound.”

“How observant of you,” you wink at him, then grab your glass of water. “You making fun of me?”

“No, it's cute.” He replies before taking another bite of his sandwich.

You and Frankie have been coming here for years. It’s become one of your places, and the times you’ve been here without him always feel weird.

Earlier that day, Frankie texted you and asked if you were free tonight. It was a light day at the garage, and he finished all his projects early. You happened to be off, even though you usually work on Thursdays, so the two of you decided to meet up for dinner, ‘at our spot’, as Frankie calls it.

You love the garage for him. It started as a passion project in between jobs. Once he retired, Frankie spent time trying to figure things out and ended up back at a garage. Now he owns it, and he’s much more relaxed than he used to be. It gave him something to do, something he cares about, and as his best friend, it's a pleasure to see him enjoying this stage of his life.

Cars, garages - all that may not be your forte, but you do enjoy visiting him and usually hang out with him after work, sometimes helping at the counter if he and the guys are busy. Your favorite part is watching him work, and when he catches you looking, you usually wink or make a silly face that brings a smirk to his lips.

You cover up what's really happening inside of you with humor and silliness but underneath, you are still madly in love with your best friend and watching him work is like an aphrodisiac. Not that you’ll tell him that.

…

There are many reasons you and Frankie love this place, and you have endless memories here. Sitting in this booth most of the time, number 4.

Memories of you meeting after exciting life events, less-than-exciting ones; memories of you running inside to meet him once he was home after missions. That one time you nearly ran the waitress over to get to him.

After dinner, you shared a dessert and ordered some drinks. As the night goes on and groups of people leave, their seats filled once more by others, you and Frankie remained in your own little world.

At one point, you headed outside to the patio. It’s a nice night out, and once the diner filled up, you and he both eyed the doors without words. It’s another thing you adore about him, that silent language between you, it’s a rare thing.

…

An hour passes, and the second round of drinks is in your hands. You and Frankie are seated on a bench on the far left of the patio, cute led lights decorate the wooden fence as the music from outside dances in the air.

When your phone buzzed, you and he were in the middle of laughing about something. Frankie's thigh touched your own as you huddled together on the bench.

With a sign, you dig into your pocket and pull out your phone. “Sorry, this keeps going off.”

Frankie tells you it's okay without words, just using his eyes. You plug in the pin, then pull up the screen. It’s a series of texts from that asshole you hooked up with two months ago. Also, sadly, the last person you had sex with.

You must have made a face because Frankie calls your name, then asks,

“You okay?”

“Ugh, yeah,” you lower the phone and look him in the eye, “I’m just never dating or having sex again. But it’s fine. It’s okay. It's fine.” You shake your head, trying to push away memories of that night.

You were horny and lonely, so you checked out your recent matches online. You hadn't used the app in some time at that point, because every date you went on was a disaster, and the men, shit, the men just kept getting worse.

But your vibrator was no longer cutting it, and that night you decided all you needed was hot sex with a hot guy and it would hold you over for a while. When you saw his face, it was a yes, he was exactly what you were looking for, and his body was even better.

The date went okay, it was clear there was nothing there beyond sexual attraction, but that was fine. At the end of the night, you went back to his place and what started as a very hot make out led to the most disappointing sex you’ve had in a long time, and that says a lot because your recent lovers have been lackluster.

He was selfish in bed; more selfish than any man you’ve been with. He didn't go down on you but wanted you to go down on him, which you declined to do. Once you did fuck, with a condom, of course, it was over so fast you lay there stunned. The mother fucker got off on himself, you’re sure of it. You might as well have been a damn sex doll for all that.

You were sure you blocked his number and told him to never contact you again, but maybe you were too horrified at the end and forgot to do it. Either way, getting a series of texts from him telling you he wants to see you and how much fun you had together makes you want to vomit and burn your phone.

Despite your efforts to not get stuck in this memory, you do. Frankie's voice pulls you out of it and thankfully, puts the man out of your mind,

“Still not working out?”

You meet his eyes, “Yeah. I’m either cursed or there are no good men left,” when the words leave your lips, you see something in his eyes, something you can’t put a finger on, “at this point, I think I’m destined to be single and maybe never have sex again.”

Frankie chuckles, his head lowered slightly. Letting your gaze linger, you take in his profile, the way his wavy chestnut hair curls from beneath his hat. Admiring Frankie when he’s not looking is something you’ve done more times than you can count.

Your love and sex life are already a mess. The last thing you need is your secret pinning for Frankie to spill off your tongue right now. It’s a secret. You plan to keep it that way. One more disappointment with a stranger, sure, it would suck but you could handle that. One more “you up?” or ��wyd’ text from some asshole you never want to see again, you don’t want that, but you can handle it.

But Frankie? What if you laid it all out and spilled your truth and he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he turned you down? If you try and it doesn't work out? What if you try, it’s weird, and you end up losing your best friend? - no, you can’t take that risk. Frankie means too much to you.

“Don’t give up,” when he speaks your name in between breaths, paired with his calming voice, you’re ready to just confess anyway and go in for a kiss, but you hold back, “You’ll make someone the happiest man on earth. I promise.”

You scoffed, “yeah right.”

“Don’t do that,” Frankie sits up, his expression growing serious, “you just have shitty taste in guys. You’re picking the wrong ones.” He adds a little grin at the end.

You point at him, “don’t think I can argue with you there. That or I broke a mirror at some point and didn’t realize it.”

Frankie chuckles, “or, there are good guys out there and they’re not on those fucking apps,” he observes you, then points at your phone, “those apps,” he motions to your phone, “you don’t need that.”

You sigh and drop your gaze to your phone. Then set it on the bench beside you. Your eyes meet Frankies, “no one meets organically anymore. I don’t want technology to have a decent date or get laid but here we are.”

Frankie is quietly observing you and listening. You hold his gaze for a while, too long. You feel a confession dancing on your tongue yet again. Swallowing back the words, you grab your phone and start deleting the dating apps. “Screw it. I’m getting rid of them. You’re right Cat, I don’t need them.”

Frankie sits back and crosses his arms in a relaxed way. After a few moments, he says, “I have an idea. It might be a crazy one.”

You raise a brow, “listening.”

“How about-“he pauses when your eyes meet his, “we go out on a date.”

You drop your phone. Frankie feels a jolt of panic, worrying if that was a bad idea.

The sound of your phone hitting the ground is heard by you, but you don’t care. You stare at Frankie, and a shocked smile slowly builds on your lips.

Your eyes widen, “you and me?”

“Yeah. Look,” Frankie slides his cap off and runs his hand through his hair, “you’re my best friend. You know I care about you -“he takes a beat, “I hate watching you go through all this shit with those guys. I hate seeing you unhappy…” he says your name with so much softness, it makes your heartbeat faster, “I like you; I have for years I just didn’t think -”

His words fade. You’ve always been beautiful to him. But right now, with the glint in your eye and a smile on your lips that could brighten any dark room - it renders him speechless, and any doubts he’s has start to melt away.

Frankie scoots closer to you, he attempts to continue his thoughts but can’t. Words won’t meet his lips. Instead, he does something he’s always wanted to do. He kisses you. Frankie's lips are soft and warm against your own, and your cheek heats up as he cups it with his hand.

The kiss is sweet, it makes your heart flutter and when it ends you want more. Frankie leans back just enough to gauge your reaction.

He’s a confident guy, anxious at times, sometimes a little shy, but confident. And though seconds ago he was sure you feel the same, he’s doubting himself again.

“Was that okay?” He asks softly, his beautiful soulful brown eyes locked on yours.

You smile and throw your arms around his neck, “a little short, but yeah, that’s okay.”

Frankie chuckles and pulls you closer until his lips meet yours. This time, there’s no hesitation, no worry; he kisses you like it's the last time he’ll ever kiss again, he kisses you so deeply he leaves you breathless; your head spinning as moisture pools between your thighs.

As the kiss heats up, your bodies are pressed together, and he nearly pulls you beneath him on the bench. Your fingers are in his hair now, your other hand tugging on his collar. Frankie has one hand on your thigh, the other behind your neck.

The hungry kiss doesn’t break until the beer bottle shatters on the ground, his bottle. You laugh as he reaches down to rescue your phone before it gets wet. Breathing heavily, you both continue to chuckle, and he cups your face again.

“Better?” He asks with a playful grin.

“Fuck yes.” You reply with a seductive smile.

Frankie's eyes dip to your lips, “about that date? Tomorrow?”

You poke his dimple, “Tonight?”

You’re sick of waiting.

You've wanted Frankie for years and after that kiss, you can’t wait for a second longer. Luckily, Frankie feels the same way.

“Okay, “he says confidently, “this is now a date.”

…

You can’t keep your hands off each other.

The official date portion of the night only lasted 30 minutes before you piled into Frankie's truck and ended up at his place. From the door to the living room, you make out passionately, hands exploring each other's bodies as you remove your clothes. It’s been two months since you had sex and the kiss made you feral. In the back of your mind, you wondered if you should slow down, but you don’t want to.

Every time a piece of clothing is removed, his lips are on yours again, the thud of your racing hearts pound between your bodies. As you make your way to the bedroom, he tries to navigate you in the dark, a table there, something falling over here.

“Maybe we should turn the light on?” you giggle.

He kisses your neck, his hands on your hips as you pause in the hallway, just before his bedroom. His body pressing against yours, both of you down to just your underwear now.

You wrap a leg around him, pulling him in closer, and moan as his bulge rubs against you.

“Fuck the light,” he growls, “bedroom now.”

…

In the bedroom, Frankie turns on one light, he needs to see you, to take you in, all of you. He’s seated on the edge of the bed now, admiring your form as you stand before him. He anchors one hand on your hip and kisses the soft skin of your belly.

“You’re beautiful.”

He kisses the spot again, then dips his head to kiss your thighs. Your hands are anchored on his strong broad shoulders as you watch him admiring you. There are no words, no thoughts, just the way Frankie is looking at you and speaking to you, the way his hands feel on your body; you are nearly vibrating with desire now.

Frankie stands. You slide your fingers in his hair as you kiss him, tugging at his dark brown waves. Frankie moans into the kiss and deepens it, needing more of you, his hands moving behind you and greedily cupping your ass.

You slide a hand between your bodies and palm his cock. Your hand on his cock makes Frankie moan and squeeze your ass harder. You imagine it inside of you and grow even wetter.

Frankie kisses you like no one ever has before, the way you read about in books and dreamed kisses could be. And when he slides two fingers inside of you, your knees almost buck, he demands more of your mouth as he fingers you, and you give it to him.

Pleasure rises in you as he feels you up with his other hand. You’ve always loved his hands, you stare at them all the time, you like to watch them work, and this man - he’s a fucking expert, he finds all your spots and brings you to the brink of release in minutes.

Frankie pulls his fingers out and orders you to lay on the bed on your back, knees up. Your breath catches in your throat at the command. You do it. He positions himself between your thighs and spreads them further apart,

“Perfect, just like that - “he groans, taking you in, drunk on you, kneading your thighs with his fingers as he observes you, his eyes clouded with desire.

Frankie knows how to touch you; you purr and moan to way he uses his fingers, his tongue, his mouth, the intuitive way he works your clit. You melt in his hands.

Frankie knows the right speed and pressure to bring you rushing past the edge of desire - to sweet sweet nirvana.

Frankie sits up and licks his lips. You’re seeing double and sucking air into your lungs as post-orgasm ecstasy moves in waves through your body.

He smiles, “all of that for me,” Frankie grins and dips his head again, savoring even more of your release.

Seconds later, Frankie moves up your body and hikes your leg over his hip; you bring your hands to his shoulders as he anchors himself with one hand and wraps the other around his shaft.

His eyes stay on yours as he slides into you, inch by inch, filling you and stretching you deliciously. You gasp and dig your nails into his shoulders,

“Is this too much? Should I go slower?”

He’s thicker, bigger than you’re used to, but you want all of him, every inch. You clench your walls around him and grab his ass, pulling him in deeper, needing more of him. Frankie kisses your jawline, then your lips.

“How's that for an answer?” You tease, pulling him in deeper, he moans and drops his head.

“Fucking perfect - “ he groans, thrusting his hips, sliding the rest of his cock inside your warmth.

You begin grinding your hips together, moaning with pleasure as you fuck. Your bodies move in a rhythm so synchronized it’s like you’ve done this before, and even with the extra stretch it takes to accommodate Frankie's cock, once he’s in, you fit perfectly, like your bodies were made for each other.

You grind your hips faster and faster, your hands traveling each other's bodies as he fucks you into the mattress. Frankie has imagined this so many times, and he would love to take his time with you, but right now, he's feral, the same as you, utterly consumed by red-hot passion.

Frankie changes positions, rolling on his back, you on top of him. As you ride him, you throw your head back in ecstasy. He anchors one hand on your hip and uses the other to rub your clit.

As you fuck, you become drunker and drunker on each other. You on his cock, him on the feeling of being inside of you.

You try to hold on, to keep it going a little longer, dancing at the edge of what you know will be the most exciting, most fulfilling crescendo you’ve ever had.

Frankie is so good with his hands, and his cock, you won't last much longer. Seconds later, you’re moaning his name and collapsing onto him as you come. He grunts and jerks his hips harder, faster, fucking you through your orgasm. When he kisses you again, it's almost possessive and you like it.

Frankie pins you beneath him again, he hikes your legs over his shoulders, thrusting deep into you with a shuttered groan. You cry his name and whimper at this new angle, it's intense and dizzying. The new angle does Frankie in, after a couple of pumps he comes, moaning your name in pleasure.

His body tenses, orgasmic bliss moving through him as he spills into you. A mix of moans and heightened breaths fill the room as he gently lays you on the mattress, then rolls over on his back beside you. Your body goes limp as you catch your breath.

…

Friday Morning

Frankie is up first. He’s never been able to shake his old schedule, when the sun is up, he’s up. Unless he makes an effort to sleep in.

Last night, moonlight streamed through his window and across your sleeping face, now it's the sun. He stayed up a little longer than you and watched you sleep. Same as now.

You stir awake slowly and eventually open your eyes. Squinting, your flash a tired smile at him, “hi.”

“Hi.” His voice is still groggy, and his hair is messy on his head, he looks adorable. Like you, he’s still naked beneath the sheets. Frankie leans over and kisses you.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” You chuckle and cover your mouth,

“I don’t care, I’ll kiss you anyway.” he grabs your face and plants another kiss on your lips.

You sit up and pool the sheet at your hips, your back against the pillows like him.

“Frankie, about last night?” You raise your brows at him. “Do you think we messed this up by hooking up right away?”

“No,” his brown eyes meet yours, he turns his body to you, “you?”

You reach out and scratch the patchy part of his beard. “No. I hope not.”

Frankie looks at your thoughtfully, then takes one of your hands in his, “the way I see it, this has been building between us for some time. What happened last night was proof of that.”

You nod. Last night was amazing.

Frankie's everything you imagined and more. With one night, he’s erased all your bad sexual experiences and cleansed shitty lovers from your body memory.

He kisses you how you’ve longed to be kissed. Touches you in ways that make you wild and dizzy with lust. The way he pleases you cannot be compared to any other experience you've had; all your past lovers pale in comparison to this.

In the back of your mind, a thought picks away at you. What if starting with sex makes this a sex thing? As fun as that would be, you love him, and you’d want more than that.

Frankie caresses your arm, “hey, where’d you go?”

“Sorry, I just- it’s clear we like each other. We are obviously attracted to each other, but I’m just worried this will turn into a friends-with-benefits situation. And as fun as that could be, I don’t want -“ you trail off and try to read his expression.

Frankie takes a breath and caresses your arm, “I’ve been in love with you for years. I don’t want just a sex thing. I want you and me, together.”

A smile builds on your lips as your worries fall away, you inch closer to him, “I’m in love with you too Frankie.”

Your name is soft on his lips, his eyes full of adoration, “It's official then isn’t it, “he brushes his knuckles over your cheek, “you’re mine now.”

“And you’re mine.” You smile as you climb into his lap and draw him into a kiss.

Masterlist | Frankie | Pedro

#Frankie Morales #pedrostoriesgift22 #pedrostories #Frankie catfish Morales #Frankie x f reader #best friend to boyfriend #fic: how about you and me #frankie morales smut #Frankie Morales fluff #artes moodboards #frankie triple frontier

[sometimesibewriting]

Ferris Wheel Kiss

✨Summary: You, Uryu, and friends go to the amusement park in Karakura Town for a day of fun. But get separated on the Ferris Wheel, what will happen when you two are alone.

💙Long time no see. I originally intended to drop this one shot in the fall, but life got in the way. Very happy that this fits for winter as well somewhat. Dropping this on the first day of 2024, so HAPPY NEW YEAR. 🥳🥳

❌No warnings, tis the fluffiest of the fluff fics I have ever written.

📃Wordcount: 1398

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52761025

Rukia and Renji had gotten permission to visit the world of the living. Orihime being Orihime thought this was a good excuse to enjoy some end of fall activities—one of her many ideas being to go to an amusement park in Kurakura town.

Despite coming there as a group, you and Uryu walked behind the group you have come with.

"Doesn't it feel...like…” You began.

“Were third wheeling, yes, yes it does." He pushed up his glasses. "What was Chad's excuse for not coming?" You asked. “An emergency at work.”

“What type of emergency does a GYM have?!? You're a medical student even you came!”

"Well in my defense, the semester just ended. Therefore I was free to come." This didn’t do anything to curb your annoyance which Uryu just sighed at. You’ve been in a sour mood ever since everyone split off into their own pairs. Uryu has been trying to knock you out of it since it started but he was failing miserably.

Orihime walked up to the both of you. "We were thinking the next ride would be the Ferris Wheel. Unless you guys want to ride something else? We're open to suggestions." 

"We pretty much rode and played everything. The Ferris wheel is a good way to end the day." You smiled back at her. "I wanted to get hot chocolate at one of the stands. Maybe after." Uryu added.

"That sounds wonderful. I’ll tell the others that you guys like the idea.”  Orihime skipped back happily to the group, you went to follow after her but was stopped by Uryu. Causing you to turn around.  "What now?" You huffed.

“Aren’t you forgetting about something?” He asked nonchalantly. “I have my wallet, and you and the rest of the gang are here so no.” Uryu kept a straight face at your sarcastic remark. "Your fear of heights."

You waved a hand at him. “I’ll be fine.” He gave you a look, a look that said he knew you were lying.

"I don't understand why you don't tell them. Having acrophobia is nothing to be embarrassed about, it's common. Besides you almost passed out on the small roller coaster."

“But I didn't so…” Uryu tried to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “Besides, if I have you with me I’ll be fine.” He hid his face deeper in his scarf as his face warmed. “You cloud also just fake a sickness to get out of riding.” He suggested. 

You thought a moment, “Like I said, I will be fine.” He pushed up his glasses with a sigh. “It’s the easiest way out.” 

“Yes. But then you’ll stay behind with me and then people would think they were, ya know.” He raised an eyebrow at you. “Together.” 

"That's rich coming from someone who has been gossiping all day about the same thing.”

“I was not gossiping, just venting my frustrations on how this will affect our group dynamic going forward.” You put on your most straight face, all while Uryu shook his head. “Even if true, I think all our friendships would be fine…unless someone in the party has unrequired feelings.”

He looked in your direction. “Not me.”  

“Then you have nothing to worry about, let's go.”

___________________________________________________________

Everyone lined up to get on the Ferris wheel, it was late in the evening the temperature had dipped a little. You had your hands in front of you constantly fidgeting. 

Uryu grabbed your hand causing you to stop, he held your hand in his. “You’ll be fine, your with me remember?”

It was cheesy but it helped your unease. “Four people to each cart." You both turned as Ichigo read the sign aloud. "That's perfect. The girls can ride in one and we boys can ride in the other." Renji elbowed Ichigo in the side. "What was that for pineapple?!?"

"Cause you're not thinking.” Renji pulled Uryu away without warning, his hand slipping out of yours.

Orihime tilted her head as they walked off. "I wonder what they are discussing?" Rukia looked unimpressed. "Probably something stupid."

Renji kept his arms around the boys. "So what we were thinking..." He looked at Uryu. "There is no we." Renji ignored him. “Two girls and two boys in one car, and then one boy and one girl in the other.”

“You pulled us aside just to say that, when it was going that way anyway.” Uryu pushed up his glasses and began walking away. “I’ll take the single cart by the way.”

____________________________________________________________

You were led on by the staff, taking an inner seat, while sat Uryu in the outer seat. The ride started rocking slightly, you grabbed onto the bar gripping it too tight. Uryu put his hand over yours, the warmth from his gloved hand making you feel instantly better.

The higher the ride got the more anxious you became, trying your best to hide it from Uryu who caught on to it immediately. Soon you guys were halfway to the top. 

Your chest began to heave in and out, and your mind started to spin as it came to a stop again. If it wasn’t for your fear of heights it would have been a site to behold. The park looked gorgeous in the evening light.

It was then you felt something warm on your cheek, it being Uryu’s hand for the second time that night. He turned your face so that you were facing him. “I know it’s obvious, but it’s best not to look down, and if you do try not to think of falling…which I know is hard but….” He trailed off.

“So, the best way to get through this is to only look at you.” Uryu cleared his throat while his checks turned a faint pink. “No-ot necessarily you could look anywhere in the basket. Just not out the window.” He stuttered.

“I think looking at you is better.” You said casually. “Your just gonna stare at me the whole ride?” Uryu shifted awkwardly. “Not in silence though.”

“I doubt that.” He said glancing elsewhere. You looked down searching your brain for something to say, suddenly focusing back on his eyes. Tilting your head slightly, “Yah know, your eyes are pretty.”

All Uryu wanted was to curl up into a ball and disappear when you said that, yet he stayed calm, although his red face and ears told a different story.

“There’s no need to say all that.” He kicked himself for that response. “Is it cause you already know?” You continued the conversation. “I mean…I don’t think about my looks all that much.”

“Mm. That sucks cause your not that bad looking.” He raised an eyebrow, he knew he had looks somewhat. But he never entertained the idea of someone being attracted to him, especially you.

“You find me attractive?” He blurted out and you froze. Did you? He did look handsome in the outfit he came in today. But if you were being honest that was every day, he always knew how to dress so well. It also didn’t help how attentive he was to you in battle and real life. And you weren't lying when you said his eyes were pretty. You always thought that even as a teen. 

You looked back at him, his face red but serious. “Does this mean you're asking me out?” It was the first thing that came to your jumbled up brain. Uryu’s facial expression changed. “I was just asking a general question. I didn't mean for it to come off like that.”

The way not only his expression changed, but the every changing pitch in his voice had you thinking other wise.

“Your such a lair.”

“I don’t see how that was a lie.” He moved his hand from your cheek, the cold hit your cheek feeling unpleasant. “I do find you attractive, happy?” Without any warning you put both hands on each side of his cheeks.

You don't know what came over you. Maybe it was because you two were alone? Maybe it was because of the conversation you were having but you inched closer and closer to his lips, his eyelids slightly closing as you did. It didn’t take long for your lips to find his. Pulling away only after a few seconds.

What you didn’t expect was for Uryu to put his hand behind your neck and pull you in for a longer and deeper kiss. He pulled away after a few seconds leaving you painting, while he was stable. What kind of breath control does he have you wondered.

After a few moments of sitting in silence and staring at each other, the cart started moving as if on cue.

“I wasn't asking you to be fair, but I do wonder if we can we hang out alone more like this.”

"I wouldn't mind." 

That was all you said as the car came to a stop.

#uryuu ishida #uryu ishida #uryu x reader #uryuu x reader #bleach x reader #bleach fanfic #bleach fanfiction #ishida x reader #bleach reader insert #uryuu #uryu #x reader #bleach #fluff #sometimesibewriting uryu

[aquatic-mycologist]

Can you do a Ron staedtler x reader where they have the same relationship as Reagan and Brett and the reader also works for the Illuminati

First request hype first request hype!!! So sorry for delay, stuff came up in my life 💔 Hope this is okay! Feel free to tell me if this isn't what you had in mind or meant!! Also, this got long, so!! Under Read More!

The last thing Ron expected was to find a SINGLE tolerable person in the Illuminati circle

So when Kluge announced that a new person was gonna be joining the team Ron was. less than excited.

He was very dry and distant for the few first weeks despite your attempts to strike up a conversation, most you'd get out of him would be a sarcastic or backhanded response

Don't get him wrong though! It's not that he automatically dislikes you, it's just that you're, like, UNUSUALLY friendly..? And actually trying to actually TALK to him? Learn more about him?? Invite him to hang out and grab something to drink????

Yeah this had to be some sort of plan to get him to do something for you...right?

But he starts letting his guard down when one day you come to work with an extra coffee for him and...oh wow, that's his usual coffee order. He thought you were just making small talk. Huh

He outright asks you if you need him to do you a favor or something

He doesn't mean it bad!! He's just...Shocked and not used to positive input from others, especially work buddies

And when you reply that you just wanted to do something nice for him and offer him a smile, somewhere deep deep DEEP in his mind he kind of knows he's a bit fucked &lt;3

He starts to open up to you more, slowly but surely. He'll start engaging in your conversations, he'll go out of his way to say hi to you when you walk into work in the morning, he'll begin to actually laugh at your dumb jokes, he starts to initate conversations with you by himself and sometimes even swing by your office when he has nothing better to do

When he swings by your office one day, he starts venting about you guys' coworkers and how they're such big assholes to him all the time, even opening up a bit about how his own work at Illuminati fucks him up a bit

What he didn't expect though was for you to actually listen to what he says, and to offer him a kind smile and some sweet advice

He's stunned to say the least, but he actually offers you a very faint, slight smile in appreciation. He doesn't thank you with words, but you can tell that it means a lot to him

After some time after the two of you start getting along, everyone is surprised that Ron is like. Actually having fun and cracking jokes and laughing with you. It's like for a small moment, for some strange reason, you can give him the comfort he's never had

To be completely honest with himself, Ron didn't know exactly where his feelings about you fell. You were kind of the opposite of him, you loved to goof around and make very stupid puns and jokes, you were a bit awkward but never lost your optimism and go-getter attitude, and...you listened to him. You were there for him, always. And he'd be lying if he said that he didn't catch himself staring at you a bit too long sometimes, that he didn't smile at your god-awful snort when you made a particularly horrible joke and that he didn't stay awake for a few hours more than is appropiate at night thinking about you

That's something he's not ready to share with you yet

But when he gets to work early, and he gets to see you walk through the door and wave at him excitedly as you jog over with a smile

He thinks he might be ready one day

#inside job #inside job x reader #ron staedtler #ron staedtler x reader #inside job ron #inside job headcanons #ron staedtler headcanons #x reader #headcanons #THIS MAN MAKES ME WEAK...HE'S SO <3333 #Thank you so much for the lovely prompt I enjoyed writing this a lot #AND THANK YOU FOR BEING FIRST REQUEST!!! #I hope to write much more for you guys soon

[ownerofthisaccount]

Originally I was just gonna leave the previous post on Agee and Chei as a one off, as I don’t own them and it was just me spitballing. There was also a repost saying I was thankful for the attention it got and that anyone is free to have their interpretations on it, but I deleted it as I didn’t want to bombard the original creator too much. My anxiety can get bad especially when it comes to interacting with popular creators or making fanart due to stuff I rather not get into, but it can lead to me struggling a bit with knowing how to go about things or if I’m being too pushy. Even now I’m a little anxious posting this giant section, and can take it down if asked, but after reading my what if my brain wanted to expand on it with images more detailing what happened that first day.

I will warn this contains body horror, implied and shown death, injury, and a small bit of blood. This is also NOT my work or ocs. Like before, both design and the original story comes from @raisans-art and they should be given the credit for these great character designs and engaging stories. This is just my interpretation on a what if both twins got experimented on.

As stated before, this version starts off the same with Emmet taken first and dies in the process of becoming Agee. But in this version the scientists catch on to Ingo’s snooping and struck him from behind when he finally encountered Agee. There was actually a deleted image showing that directly after, Durant popped out and, seeing Ingo limped on the ground and scientists quickly flooding in, grabbed Ingo’s pokeballs to try to at least save his team with the hope of being able to come back later to save the twins. He escapes through a vent, but in the process three pokeballs are knocked off and left in the lab, where Durant can’t grabbed them because the scientists are gaining on him. This wasn’t drawn cause for the life of me, I couldn’t draw full body Durant without looking like a knockoff lego.

“What do we do now?”

A little while later, the newest experiment Chei wakes up to a “frightening” giant. Meanwhile, the friendly fusion tries to welcome their new cell mate with open arms. I absolutely loved drawing that frame of Agee.

A familiar image from before, but the shadows and Agee’s tail are actually here. This is an outside view of the scientists observing how the two fusions will interact with each other given the origins of the two used for this.

Doesn’t go well. I realized I also missed the scar on Agee’s face, so I added it to the what if lore by having Chei feel threatened and slashed Agee with their face blade. Agee out of instinct and shock slammed their tail into Chei without realizing.

A fun fact I mentioned in the comments last post, but Chei’s tail, chest, and face are made of glass. It’s a softer/flexible and more durable glass, but can still be cracked. As long as the core/soul in the chest is unharmed though, the glass will repair itself some time after with the length depending on how severe the damage was. So Chei will be fine, but Agee still feels bad for hurting them.

Chei takes shelter in the corner to heal while Agee decides to give the new guy a little space for now, still determined though to make this friendship work as he feels a connection to this fusion. There was also a second cut drawing of Chei waking up later to an “I’m Sorry” poorly written on the ground while Agee anxiously taps their fingers together for a response.

Elsewhere in a realm inaccessible to ones like us, a few spirits watch this disaster go down…

And that’s it! That was all the drawings made for that what if scenario. Will there ever be more? I’m honestly not sure as this was already a stretch. But I will be finishing my top ten list very soon if you want more Pokémon drawings from me and to yell at me for putting Lickilicky in my top 10. But once again, thank you @raisans-art for being the creator of the Emmet Chimera Au and may you all have a great rest of your day!

#agnst #pokemon ingo #pokémon emmet #submas #art #artists on tumblr #original fiction #pokemon #pokémon fanart #chimera emmet au #submas fanart #tw body horror #tw blood #tw death

[naughtymousey]

Hey, sluts! This is a fic that I wrote for a friend (@cxptain0101) featuring TFA Starscream and her self insert OC. Enjoy!

Jealous Tastes

Warnings: 18+

Word Count: 4,374

During her time off from working for the Daily Detroit, Emilyn supposed that she could have just walked around the parks or even read some of her books. It was fun, and it was freeing, perhaps even relaxing. 

But instead, she chose to spend her free time at home with her mechs. Both Starscream and Sunstorm were mass-displaced. It was true that her cabin was large, but the Decepticons could only fit if they were around human size. 

Her house was calm and quiet without much activity going on. It was outside city limits in the woods, far away from the hustle and bustle of robots (except Cybertronians) and other city life. Emilyn enjoyed the location. It offered enough reclusiveness for both her and the Seekers. 

Inside the living room, Emilyn and Sunstorm sat on the furniture. Well, she sat on one couch while he sat in a chair. Starscream was somewhere else within the walls of the log cabin, but she didn’t think much of it. 

As Emilyn and Sunstorm chatted, she folded her hands over her lap and sighed. She vented to him about multiple things, including somewhat personal topics. Despite the fact that he was Starscream’s “suck-up” clone, Sunstorm listened surprisingly well to her. He was never mean or malicious, only intending to make her feel good and giving her advice whenever she asked him for it. 

Emilyn appreciated him.

“I don’t know, Sunstorm.” Emilyn turned away from him, blushing pink. “I guess…I just don’t feel pretty like other girls, not when I’m chubby.” 

It was a silly thing to feel sad about, but she couldn’t help it. After all, everyone possessed their own insecurities, even her. 

As she adjusted the cap on her head, Sunstorm began to speak. 

“Oh, nonsense, my dear!”

Emilyn glanced upwards, facing him once more. He smiled at her, his orange frame glistening beneath the lights on the ceiling. 

“Your softness and squishiness makes you more delectable than the tastiest of energon sweets.” 

She tilted her head, watching his wings flick in confirmation. 

“You really think so?”

Sunstorm grinned, setting a clawed servo to his chest plating. 

“As a humble clone of Starscream, I can assure you that you are the prettiest organic that I have ever set my optics on.” 

Emilyn smiled, pleased and satisfied by his reassurances. Sure, groveling was his thing, but hearing his words made her feel nice regardless. She could enjoy the praises. 

“Thanks, Sunny.” She chuckled at him. “I appreciate it.”

Sunstorm beamed at her, delighted by her reaction. His optics flickered, his inner mechanics rumbling with the slightest whirr. Admittedly, he was cute.

And that was when she appeared from the hallway.

“Meow.”

Emilyn laughed as Zira approached her, immediately hopping into her lap and settling herself into the soft squish of her clothed thighs. She ran her fingers through her black, soft coat. Her eyes shimmered, shining bright and purple. She cuddled Emilyn close, leaning into her touches and attention. 

But then, another pair of pedesteps arrived. Sunstorm and Emilyn turned, finding Starscream standing tall and motionless. There was a frown on his faceplate, his optics narrowing and his wings bristling. Obviously, he wasn’t happy about something.

As a response to his sour mood, Emilyn pouted at him.

“Starscream. How long have you been there?”

He waved his servo in a dismissive manner. 

“Oh, nevermind that.” He took a step forward, quite boldly. “Emilyn, I insist that you come with me right now.” 

For a moment, she thought about his order. Slowly, she glanced at Sunstorn. Their conversation was over, she supposed. With a shrug, she stood and walked towards the magenta Seeker. 

She looked over shoulder. 

“You gonna be okay, Sunstorm?”

The clone nodded.

“Why, of course! It is an honor to send you off with our grand and exalted leader. I may just take a detour around the forest while you’re gone.”

Emilyn sighed and stopped in front of Starscream when she reached him.

“Fine, I…WHOA!”

Starscream took her into his metallic arms, carrying her bridal style. He grinned at her blush before making his way towards the staircase. With Emilyn safe in his hold, he hurried up the stairs to the next floor. She didn’t struggle or make any attempt to move. In fact, she was quite pleased to be snuggled. She enjoyed his embraces.

Once inside the hallway, he hugged her near and walked into another room full of her collections of old cameras. He shut the door behind him. Before she could grip his plating, Starscream lowered her to the bed. Immediately, he sat across from her, shifting his armored legs to where it was comfortable for him. 

He glared at her, only slightly, huffing and puffing with a sound of distaste. He, however, wasn’t the first to break the silence. 

Emilyn rolled her green eyes, pointing a finger at him.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Offended, Starscream held a servo to his chest.

“Me? Jealous? I’m not jealous!” 

She sent him a deadpan expression, folding her arms beneath her bosom. The Seeker’s wings bounced when he relented with a vent. 

“Okay. Fine. Maybe I’m just a little jealous. But he has no right to hog you all the time!” 

Emilyn’s arms fell at her sides. 

“Screamer, he was just making me feel good about myself.” She waved her hands, gesturing to her body. “You know…my insecurities?” 

The Cybertronian looked at her, inspecting her with his sharp, crimson optics. By now, he didn’t appear upset. Actually, he seemed mischievous, smirking at her with a hungry look on his faceplate. 

“Well, I can make you feel even better.”

Confused, Emilyn lifted her brow. However, the second she tried to question him, he leaned forward, lifted her chin a bit higher, and pressed his dermas to her lips. She squeaked, surprised but instantly infatuated by the sudden display of adoration. As usual, his metal was smooth and warm against her mouth. It was welcoming, gradually inviting her to kiss back. She blushed, her cheeks burning hotly as his claws held her face, carefully sinking into her skin. His vocalizer vibrated with a low chuckle as she cupped the sides of his helm.

“What? So eager?” His glossa ran against her lips, speaking softly to her. “Naturally, I figured just as much, but…so soon?”

Emilyn attempted not to fluster, but she did. 

“You’re one to talk, Screamer.”

She moaned against his dermas, patting the armor of his cheeks until he nibbled her bottom lip. Starscream hummed, continuing to kiss her with long and passionate motions. Sloppy as he could be, he was also an expert whenever he desired to play rough with her. Emilyn shifted her thighs, completely enamored by his affections. As she moved her lips against his, she shut her eyes out of pure elation. 

It only took a few more seconds for both to realize that she had to breathe. 

The two pulled apart. Emilyn blinked at him, the palms of her hands resting on her covered thighs. Starscream grinned at her. Slowly, he scooted closer to her and cocked his helm at her.

“Now, my pet,” he tapped her leg, “I suggest that you remove these fragile things before I do so myself.” 

It was not only a tease, but a command, one that he was fully prepared to follow through with. 

Emilyn nodded, quickly removing the cap on her head along with her flannel shirt. She set the items to the side before fiddling with her other shirt and pants. Starscream aided her, stripping her and purposefully allowing his claws to linger on her skin. Despite the fact that his claws could create tears in the fabric of her clothes, Starscream was mindful. Once her pants, shirt, and socks were gone, she reached around and unclasped her crescent moon necklace. Pleased, Starscream took the necklace and safely placed it on the bedside counter. Emilyn was only left in her bra and panties. In a moment of rapture, she fell back against the fluffy pillows. Starscream loomed over her, his optics shimmering and peering at her very lasciviously. 

He repositioned himself to her liking, his wings twitching with thrill as he kissed her neck, leaving the faintest nips with his denta the lower he went. 

“Starscream.” Emilyn moaned his name, bending to his attention. “Starscream!”

The mech didn’t even pause. He cackled lightly, applying more fervor into the hickeys. There was a pinch and a slight feeling of pressure. Still, it didn’t hurt her. Well, not too badly. He was gentle enough, not wishing to harm her, but his bites created bruises on her neck and collarbone, bruises that wouldn’t fade for a long time. 

It was a good thing that she normally wore lots of layers. 

“Such a sweet girl,” Starscream’s tone was similar to a purr, “...tender, soft, and so willing to bow to my authority.” 

He didn’t love power. He adored it. 

His denta grazed her flesh, nipping and nibbling until it was too much. Emilyn’s pussy trembled, wetness pooling into her panties. She gripped the sides of her bedsheets as he ravished her, sucking on her sensitive skin. Emilyn didn’t mind the love bites. After all, she was quite accustomed to them. Starscream liked to roughhouse. What more could she say? She managed to keep up with him. 

Emilyn was the only human who could. Like a cat, Starscream licked his glossa over the marks and bruises on her flesh, almost as though to apologize for any pain that he caused. At one particular bite, Emilyn gripped his shoulders and cried out, prompting him to pause.

“Ah,” he started, frowning, “that didn’t hurt, did it?” 

Emilyn blinked, shaking her head while her hands drifted to her sides.

“No, Screamer. I’m fine. I was just…startled is all.”

He wasn’t the kindest person. Emilyn knew that to be true. He was a dick, an asshole, an absolute dolt. But every now and then, a sliver of softness would shine through his hard and bitter seams. 

Only for her, it seemed.

Starscream grinned with a hum, ruffling her hair and making her whine. 

“Good.”

He lowered himself back down to her, deciding to kiss instead of bite. His dermas brushed against the top of her breasts, smooching each and every individual freckle. He cherished her freckles. To him, perhaps they even reminded him of stars in the sky. 

However, when his metal lips met with the fabric of her bra, he pouted.

“Uh, it appears that something is in my way, Little Moon.”

Despite his words, his tone was playful, making Emilyn shoot her own smug look right back at him. Regardless of her arousal, she could have fun too. 

“Well. Why don’t you remove it, Star?”

There was a glimmer of something feral in Starscream’s red optics, shining bright and bold. And then, his wings bounced, a high-pitched whine emitting from deep within his frame. He smiled, lifting his derma to bare his denta.

Suddenly, Emilyn became bashful. 

Oh, oh that did it. She teased him with the offer of a challenge, and he swiftly accepted it. 

Using his claws, Starscream expertly unclasped her bra behind her back. It was done with such power and ease, even causing her to whimper when his digit traced along her spine. It was true that he had practice in the past, but his abilities were still surprising. 

When he tossed her flimsy bra to the side, Starscream growled and leered at her, immediately cupping one tit in his servo and jiggling it. He always jiggled her boobs. It was one of his favorite activities to do in the bedroom. 

Was it flustering? Naturally. Was it hot? Absolutely. 

“Consider yourself lucky, Emilyn,” he smirked, pulling her closer, “if I were any more impatient, that flimsy thing would be in shreds by now.”

Starscream wasn’t lying. He tore her bra before, and she was mad at him. It took some time for her to explain how expensive female undergarments were, but he eventually seemed to understand. In spite of his careless attitude, he could still be considerate at certain times. 

He gave her boob a firm and effective squeeze before lifting his other servo to tend to the second breast. Emilyn gasped and moaned, squirming and gripping his armor as he fondled her into the pillows, cackling to himself as her boobs swayed to his touch. 

When her nipples perked up, Starscream grinned deviously and brought his dermas to her squish. Greedily, he sucked on her tit, swirling his glossa around the erect bud until she cried out his name. His claws groped her other tit, creating marks in the skin. The more he sucked, the louder Emilyn moaned. 

“Ah,” he spoke between hearty, passionate licks, “and to think that I once believed these lumps of fat to be so impractical.”

Starscream switched to her other boob, sucking even stronger there.

“Oh, how foolish I was.”

Emilyn gripped onto the sides of his helm, pulling him close to her. Starscream not only sucked, he actually nipped at her nipples. The pink buds hardened beneath his denta as she bucked her hips, struggling to create more friction between her legs by shuffling her thighs together.

A warm knot formed inside her abdomen. 

“Starscream! Starscream!”

Her legs trembled as he cackled.

“What’s this, my pet? You sound a bit desperate. Tell me, are you wet? Already?”

Emilyn gasped at his lewd words, urging him to grin and push his faceplate between her cleavage. She hugged him near her body, not wanting to let him go. But as much as he cherished her breasts, something else captured his attention.

Finally, Starscream retracted himself, leaving a bruise on both of her tits. He seemed pleased with himself, giving each nipple a kiss before lowering and spreading Emilyn’s legs with his servos. As if to test the waters, he poked and prodded at her underwear, inspecting the wetness of it and smirking at the results. 

“All soaked for me…aren’t I a lucky mech.”

Emilyn scoffed before moaning once again, unable to hold herself back.

Starscream was a smart bot. He knew that he couldn’t finger her while using his sharp digits. Well, not without hurting her, and Starscream could get very carried away at times. Instead, he situated his helm between her thighs and slowly dragged his glossa against her clothed slit, prompting her to whine. Carefully, the Decepticon hooked his digits beneath the waistband of her underwear and swiped them down her legs.

After her panties were thrown across the bed, Starscream wasted no time in delving in. Using his glossa, he licked up her slit, teasing her entrance with low chuckles from his mouth. His claws rested on her thighs, squeezing them encouragingly. 

When Starscream pushed his way through her folds, Emilyn hugged his helm with her legs. She squeezed him tight, feeling his tongue explore her walls. She could feel herself. She was close. Dangerously close to an orgasm. As Starscream ate her out, he stroked her thighs, soothing her and praising her without the use of words. His glossa, made of smooth, Cybertronian alloy, was strong and quick, darting in and out of her with such skill and expertise. It was true. He could be sloppy at times, but he was also very, very persistent with his goals.

And in this case? His goal was to break her.

Starscream chuckled, and Emilyn felt hot steam expelling from his dermas. For a brief second, her pussy rippled around the tip of his glossa. Between her legs, Starscream paused to give her a curious look. He didn’t stop for long, however. When he pulled his glossa out, he lifted it and drew it against her clit, making tiny circles. 

Emilyn couldn’t take it any more. She arched her back once she reached her climax, moaning the name of her lover as loud as she possibly could. She didn’t care who could hear her, and neither did Starscream. Her cunt shook, and her toes curled. Her head spun, and her breath hitched. Her chest heaved, sweat dripping down the side of her face. She struggled to regain herself. But then again, why should she? She could set herself free. Just for tonight. And maybe even the night after.

Starscream continued to eat her out, lapping at her pussy and smirking so smugly at her. As her orgasm passed, he tended to her legs by lowering his mouth and pressing kisses to her thighs. 

“My Little Moon…was that an overload?” 

There was a buzz coming from his frame, implying his state of arousal. Emilyn huffed before shyly tilting her head, attempting to hide her blush from him. He knew damn well what it was. And yet, he still chose to tease her. It was just in his nature. 

“Maybe.” 

“HAH!” There was pride in his tone. “Just as I thought. I’m practically irresistible.” 

Emilyn attempted to groan, but it came out as more of a moan.

Amused, Starscream chuckled and returned to her inner thighs, using his denta to create some bite marks in her pale skin. Emilyn released a shuddery sigh, letting him perform his displays of admiration and ownership over her. He teased her, frequently flicking his glossa up her slit while caressing the gentle squish of her legs. He hummed and purred, relishing in the way she twitched and repeated his name. 

She tried to avoid squishing his helm too harshly with her thighs, but she just couldn’t help herself. She gripped him tightly, and he enjoyed it, pressing himself even further against her. 

“Yes. Good girl. Unravel yourself for me.”

She did, her limbs going limp from the pleasure.

Starscream showered her with bites and kisses, sucking at her skin. His wings flapped, and his internal machinery rumbled. Through her hazy vision, Emilyn noticed the bruises and hickeys already appearing on her thighs. The nips felt more like pinches than anything, but perhaps that was due to how used she was to them. Still, every nibble was more ravenous than the last. He was growing impatient, just as she was. 

Slowly, Starscream pulled himself back from her thighs to smile at her.

“Do you want my spike?” 

His claws hovered over her pussy, giving it a cautious rub with the blunt sides. She gasped and nodded, her voice crackling.

“I…I do. So, so fucking badly, Starscream.”

His pupils glimmered inside his optics. Like the bastard he was, he waited for another moment longer.

“Then say the magic words, Little Moon. I want to hear you beg.” 

Emilyn blushed, hotter than she ever thought possible. She couldn't even form the words to speak. After regaining some strength, however, she glanced at him and parted her lips.

Fine. She could beg. If it was for him? She could beg all day and every day.

“Please.” She threw her head back against the fluffy sheets. “Please, Lord Starscream. Master! Please. Please just fuck me already!”

Starscream stiffened, his optics temporarily going offline from her truth. His frame shook, and his wings fluttered. Emilyn just unlocked an insatiable desire inside his spark, and it was bound to release within seconds. 

“Well,” his voice quivered with anticipation, holding a servo to his cockpit, “who am I to turn down such a lovely request?” 

On the bed, Starscream repositioned himself. Likewise, Emilyn moved a little near the pillows, welcoming his size. She stretched her legs, enticing him even further.

“I must show you who you belong to, sweetspark.”

Emilyn knew that he meant what he said. He meant every word, and the promise filled her with an influx of desire.

Starscream lifted his hips, exposing his crotch and interface panel. There was a hiss as it popped open. However, his equipment wasn’t the same. Emilyn noticed a difference almost instantly. 

Yes, it was like his original spike. It was thick, bulbous, and long with magenta biolights running down the sides of it. But it squirmed like it had a mind of its own. It almost appeared as another appendage. Transfluid squirted from the rounded tip as it licked at Emilyn’s thighs, hungrily poking at her slick, dripping entrance.

Finally, she realized that it was a tentacle dick. Starscream actually had a tentacle dick. 

Acknowledging her befuddled expression, he snickered.

“Ah, do you enjoy the surprise?” 

Emilyn gawked at him, moaning gently at the touch of his dick. It was smooth but slippery, tasting every part of her lower body that it could find. 

“Starscream, what is this?”

The mech puffed his chest out with pride.

“Just a new mod that I’m aching to test out.”

She didn’t even bother to ask how he came to achieve such an item. Her cunt throbbed, and her heart thrummed with lust. She couldn’t question him again. She was much too horny to care. 

Starscream set his servos on either side of her head, gazing down at her with a sinful look on his faceplate. In response, Emilyn bit her lip and opened herself wide for him. His claws sank into the bed sheets as the tentacle mode wriggled inside her cunt, coating her walls with spurts of warm, sticky transfluid.

Emilyn moaned, pressing the back of her head further into the pillows. She gripped what she could of the mech’s plating as the tentacle spike moved inside her, eagerly and voraciously. Her vision was blurry with tears, but when she blinked, she caught the sight of Starscream’s white pupils, vivid and bright. They glowed, emphasizing his pure glee.

“I can feel you, Emilyn.” He opened his dermas, releasing a moan of his own. “This mod has no processor, it’s only me.” 

With a good thrust of his hips, his spike penetrated her pussy even deeper. Emilyn felt her abdomen swell as her cunt gripped his dick, holding it tight. Starscream’s wings flicked as he picked up the pace, whimpering a grand multitude of Cybertronian obscenities. In a way, she was smug. Not many could reduce the mighty Starscream to his knees. And yet, she did.

However, her sense of victory was short-lived. 

Starscream noticed when he found her g-spot. Emilyn let out another slutty moan as he grinned, more steam curling from his mouth as he hit the spot over and over. Although his regular spike could do the trick as well, the mod reached places that she didn’t even know existed. 

Emilyn’s vision was flickering, her boobs bouncing along to the rhythm of his thrusts. 

“Starscream…I’m close!”

In an act of triumph, the Decepticon beamed at her, raking his claws down the bed frame. 

“Do you like my spike, Little Moon?” He attempted to speak between moans. “Do you really enjoy being stuffed…by yours truly?” 

Emilyn closed her eyes.

“Stars! Starscream! Master!”

She orgasmed right then and there, her limbs losing all feeling. Her knees rattled, and her heart felt as though it would burst. Emilyn moaned as loud as she could, promising that she was his and his alone. Starscream’s optics fizzled as he took in the sight of her, smiling so wildly. 

Carefully, he lowered himself. 

“Yes. Yes! That’s right. Overload for me, Little Moon.”

He cooed to her, giving time for her orgasm to pass. When her pussy relaxed, he pulled out, just for a second to send her another smug look. She heard the way his claws dragged down her bed frame, a shrieking and creaking sound. She wasn’t happy about it, but she was too full of euphoria to care. 

When she fell from cloud nine, Starscream eased himself inside her once more, his tentacle mod happily continuing where it left off. Every thrust of his drew a happy moan out from Emilyn. Deep within his frame, there was a chirp and a whirr. Starscream’s faceplate glowed pink as his dermas wriggled into another smug grin. By now, he could hardly form a sentence, and neither could she. He relied so much more on his actions, his words coming out as little, pleasurable whines. 

“So soft…so tight…so delectable.” 

With her weak fingers, Emilyn held onto his shoulders, trying to reach around to grab at his spinal strut. But he was too big for her, too bulky. She didn’t mind, not when he pounded into her as though his very life depended on it.

But then, the mech stumbled, his wings lowering and optics twitching. Emilyn took notice right away, understanding that he was close to his own orgasm. He didn’t even grasp the chance to warn her before he came, pumping her insides full of his transfluid. Warmth filled her cunt as the tentacle spike spasmed inside her. Her hands fell, and her legs relaxed. As Starscream pumped inside her, filling her to the brim with his foreign seed, all she could see were stars. She moaned from Earth to Cybertron, embracing Starscream as though she feared that he would leave her. 

He huffed.

“Take me, Emilyn. Take all of me.”

She did, remaining as still as she could be. 

When he finally retracted himself from her pussy, he watched with victory as his transfluid dribbled from her opening. His tentacle spike rested on her tummy, and for a moment, Emilyn was tempted to rub his cum on herself. 

“Fuck, Stars.” She collapsed. “That…was fucking amazing.”

Starscream gave her one of his dopey smiles. He hummed out in agreement, lifting himself from her and removing his claws from her bed frame. 

Emilyn frowned, looking above her.

“Dammit. You ruined my bed frame again.”

He cackled.

“A small price to pay for a bit of fun, Emilyn.” 

He glanced at her, examining her body and her expression. He thought for a moment, considering something inside his processor. Emilyn blinked at him, wondering what he could be thinking about until he pressed a servo to his chest.

“Ah. Might I propose another round, Little Moon?”

Emilyn chuckled at him, already finding the strength inside her to change her position on the bed.

“Sure, Starscream.”

He grinned at her, planting a cheeky kiss on her cheek as he moved to accommodate her. 

“By the time we’re done, you won’t be able to walk for solar cycles, so I guess I’ll just have to carry you.”

Emilyn didn’t mind his idea. Not at all.

#tfa #emilyn moone #starscream #🔞 moonscream 🔞 #valveplug #mouseyindulgence #🔞 my fics 🔞 #other self insert #minors dni #other self ship

[beesfairlyland]

hi bee, i'm sorry for the vent, but i just really need to get this out. i've been into concepts since like... 2016 i think? first loattraction, then loassumption, and now non dualism. i used all of these to "get something" yes, even nd. sure, when i learned about nd i let go of desiring, but in the end i still do "want" to have "my" desired life as a human/"ego". i've been doing everything i read for nd, letting go of all labels, thoughts, etc. and it's been going well, but recently i've started worrying again. everything i did when i was still into both loa's changed absolutely nothing/didn't work for me (i've never "manifested" anything in these almost 8 years), so i'm worried about being stuck as a this human that i do not want to be at all forever. i'm worried about not stripping labels and letting go "good enough" and i'm worried that everyone on here is just feeding me lies about this freedom and liberation. do you have any advice for this? i'm just so desperate to stop identifying with the ego (and an ego i don't like being at that)

Heya hun!💗

It's okayy don't be sorry....i understand sometimes it get's soo frustrating that we need to take it out. I feel you I've been here too before.

Take a deep breathe and calm down. Ik it sucks being stuck in a loop of trying and trying again, in a loop of desiring. But baby you have to understand that Non dualism is not a method, ik you know this too. And uk it's okay if you wanna have your desires (more of beautiful experiences) , may be it's just you are not ready yet to KNOW yourSELF and that's totally fine. There's nothing to hurry about, nowhere to reach. Have some rest. Don't beat yourself up. Okay?

First things first i want you to KNOW that the experiences that you wanna have are nothing special. They are YOU. And Everything that this ego can think of it is already here. It's your choice what you wanna experience.

Rn you are aware of desiring things, from lack. Im not asking you to do nothing, ik it's just gonna make you anxious. Just bare with me hear me out (it's gonna go out of nd perspective). I want you to drop the idea of getting something. If you want to, first feel every shitty emotion you want to. Cry it out. Let it all out. If you wanna cry for whole day, go ahead. But after that, you won't go back to being aware of those feelings. Ofc you'll have thoughts but just don't entertain them. Not yours so they can get lost. Don't give feeling to that thought. And no you don't have to act like you have what you wanna experience, you have to KNOW that this dream gonna change for good. And that's inevitable. I want you to tap into your non dual state aka void state. But this time you are not putting it on a pedestal. I suggest you to read my post and Know what *void* actually is:

And if you don't wanna meditate....you can try lucid dreaming. And it can be beneficial to make you understand that you are not this mind-body. I lucid dream and it's soo fun. Go ahead and give it a try. Just KNOW that you can do it.

Remember it's all gonna be alright. It's destined. you came across all this knowledge for a reason.

Ik i am a non dualism blogger soo i should just stick to that. But ik where you coming from and me giving you more pointers, asking you to go within won't do any good to you. And im here to help you guys. Giving you some motivation about not giving up wouldn't do any good to you atleast in this situation.

Hope i could help you a lil bit! If you wanna ask something else feel free to send in an ask!

-love, bee🐝💗

#anon ask #ask

[roseanne-2003]

helo all ! welcome to my fart blog! my name is Rosanne and im 20 years old. (2003)

this blog is mostly for farts but occasionally I will repost other things that are unrelated to farts.

I first came into the fart community four years ago and it has honestly been the best decision I have made. Everyone here is so nice and so welcoming! I get so many nice messages from people, and it honestly motivates me to keep posting after seeing how many people actually enjoy my farts lol.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

my likes:

•Women/men farting

(I don’t have much likes lol I really am only into farting)

my dislikes:

•burping

•face farting

•wetting

•scat

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

my boundaries:

• Anything sexual whether it’s with farting or not, will not be allowed. You will be immediately blocked.

•spam texting. spam texting is extremely annoying and will just cause me to ignore you or remove you. If I don’t answer, it’s usually because I’m busy seeing as I have a life outside of Tumblr. If I will not be answering messages for an extended period of time, I will let you know.

•NO UNSOLICITED PICTURES. This one has its own bullet point because I get these so much. You will be immediately blocked.

• absolutely no transphobia, homophobia, racism, or any other hate speech.

It is very important that everyone reads this so I don’t have to constantly remind you. I will have this post pin so you don’t have to scroll far.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• here are a few important things:

firstly, I’m sorry if this is all over the place, lol I’ve never done anything like this. If I come up with more things that I feel like needs to be added to this post, I will do so.

Secondly, if you are a minor, please do not interact. My blog is not for minors whatsoever. If I do find out you are minor, I will block you and make a post warning others about you. There is too many cases of people being falsely accused of doing stuff with minors, and I just want to make sure everyone is safe from that.

And lastly, feel free to message me if you want to talk about farts or get to know each other. I love meeting new people and having friends so my messages are always open if anything, even if you have questions or just need to vent.

You can also add me on Snapchat if you want to talk more! :-)

I think that’s all for now, so have fun and enjoy!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽



#girl farts #eproctophilia #gassy #fart kink #face farts #eprocto #farts #farting and pooping girls #gassy farts #gassy girl #farting

[neteyamyawne]

-‘๑’- BYF/DNI

- Before You Follow [BYF]

✰ – This blog contains SFW/NSFW content! if you're uncomfortable with it than this blog is not for you, You media consumption is not my duty, the fics you read are on your own choice.

✰ – I write Aged!up content! if you're not comfortable with ageing up characters for SFW or NSFW then this blog is clearly not for you and i would appreciate it if you leave without making a scene for it.

✰ – I despise anonymous hate! If I get any Anon hate for anything I write or say, it will be either, shamed for, deleted or ignored, if something bothers you about my blog, leave my blog, i didn't force you to be here, block me, the option is right there.

✰ – No minors allowed! If you're younger than 18, last to last 17, blocked! Immediately block, any ageless, barren accounts will be blocked, do not come in my inbox without your age on the blog or at least have the decency to do it anonymously.

✰ – No judgements here! This is a judgement free zone, no one will be judged unless I see odd behaviour or suspicious things, if I find any, you will be blocked the next second.

✰ – No Plagiarism or Reposting! All the fics on this blog belong to me, their copyright is mine! Do not, repost, translate, or modify on any other platform! All my written works are rightfully owned by me — Neteyamyawne and God-of-mischiefs, on Wattpad as well.

✰ – This is my hobby! I write for fun and i do not get paid for this, I have a completely different life outside of this blog, I'm in uni and I have things to work on other than fics, sometimes I get bored, sometimes I'm not in a mood to write, I'm a human, please don't spam message me asking about your fics, I'll get there one by one!

✰ – No drama is encouraged here! If you want to vent or talk my dms are open but do not trauma dump or talk bad about anyone directly in my inbox, especially about other writers! Let them do their thing, I'm not here to judge anyone.

✰ – Don't like my work = block me! Please do not come into my inbox saying rude and hateful things to me, it's not tolerated here, it will be deleted, blocked or shamed for.

✰ – please don't copy my theme/colour scheme/dividers! I've taken hours to decide on my current theme and it takes a lot of time and effort to redo everything, if you want to make your own dividers just go to @neteyamsoare, she has explained step by step how to make your own dividers and gradients.

✰ – we're all here to be horny and have fun! please be mature and act/respond maturely, if the content is not your liking then leave it, it's not for you, it's for someone else, don't hate!

- Do Not Interact [DNI]

✰ – if you're racist, homophobic, xenophobic, kinkshamer, fatphobic, sexist, extreme religionist, islamphobic, or an asshole in general.

✰ – if you're a minor (Under 18), stay the fuck away, if you're lurking on my blog don't interact please, if i see a 15 year old or omg a 12-11 year old, you're being blocked straight away!

✰ – if you don't respect other's feelings, believes and opinions.

✰ – porn bots, pornographic blogs, sexual accounts.

✰ – if you cannot decipher fiction from reality.

✰ – if you're Misogynist and Anti-feminist.

✰ – sugar mommies/daddies.

✰ – if you're Anti-aging up.

✰ – if you're pro-lifers.

✰ – if you're Pro-war.

©Neteyamyawne2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

#🌸 : ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏ ʙʟᴏꜱꜱᴏᴍ /ʙʏꜰ-ᴅɴɪ #avatar 2 #avatar #avatar the way of water #jake sully x reader #avatar 2009 #jake sully #jake sully x you #avatar fandom #avatar meme #james cameron avatar #avatar movie #avatar 2022 #avatar angst #avatar art #avatar fanart #avatar fic #avatar fluff #avatar headcanons #avatar imagine #avatar jake #avatar jake sully #avatar james cameron #avatar memes #avatar neteyam #avatar smut #avatar twow #avatar x reader #avatar x you #avatar2

[rookthorne]

Today marks my ONE YEAR anniversary of writing! 🥳🥰

God, it feels like just yesterday that I decided to sit down in my lounge room, with my ancient laptop in my lap, absolutely terrified for what I was about to do. That day I started what would be The Outlaw’s Heart - the very first chapter. I had Red Dead Redemption ambience playing in my pink noise cancelling headphones, I had my water bottle next to me, and I had this gut feeling that what I was about to do was big.

I never, ever, imagined just how much that single decision - to put my fingers to the keyboard and just type - would change my entire life. In the biggest, and best way.

I remember writing about 900 words, and I remember feeling on top of the fucking world. The first chapter was done. I went screaming to my best friend, @d-desrosiers, and lost my mind. I remember just crying.

I was crying because I was happy, and I felt proud, for what I had just accomplished. For someone with my limited capabilities, fuck, it was a lot. And I did it.

When I first got into this fandom I never would have imagined ending up where I am. I was well aware of what fanfiction was - having read many video game and band fics in my past - but actually creating them? I never would have thought that would be me, but here I am. Sitting on an approx 300k word count, and counting; I have 3 collections published, but several sitting in my WIPs that you guys are yet to see; I have 2 fully written fics ranging between 14 to 25 chapters sitting in my drive that you guys are yet to see; I have handfuls of oneshots that are yet to see the light of day.

It is insane.

And the friends I have made? Fucking hell, I have never in my life been amongst such amazing, kind, and thoughtful people. These people are my friends for life, and they all know every time I talk to them how much I love and adore and cherish them.

It is gonna get sappy as FUCK under the cut. So buckle in.

@buckyismybicycle, my very first idol - the woman that I looked up to well before I started writing, because she is beyond fucking talented. Not only that, she is the kindest, sweetest (when she’s not laughing at my misery) person there is. HR, you have been through thick and thin with me, and it still stands for disbelief that I get to call you a close friend. My idol, my friend - that is INSANE. Here’s to many, many, many years more of friendship, of laughs, of brainstorming, of love. I love you. 💗

@writing-for-marvel… wow. It’s at this point I get speechless. I found you thanks to my most favourite Ari fic, and it’s just been heaven since. We bonded first over the fact that we were Aussies (a rare breed in this fandom)! I don’t know how, but we just evolved and I have never had such ease, such comfort, with someone as I do you - and I am so fucking grateful for that. We are one another’s cheerleader, and we are one another’s shoulder to cry on. We are so much more but frankly I would be sitting here typing for hours and I would become very nonsensical because I’m emotional (sue me). You will always be my baby, and I wish I could just hug the shit outta you. I love you. 💗

@duckybarnes1917. Haylie, Haylie, Haylie. Girl, where have you been all my life? You are chaos in a cauldron overflowing with thots and thoughts. I don’t know where I’d be without you. We have become such fast friends, and thanks to that, I have someone that I trust so intimately with my thots and thoughts. You are a space that will always be free of non-loving judgement (because I know you do, but lovingly 🤣) and you are always fun. We may live continents away from one another, but your love is the warmest hug that I could ever get. I love you. 💗

@sgt-seabass, my faerie. It was like finding me in someone else when we found one another. You have been the light in some of my darkest days. I love our calls so much, and talking with you is always the highlight of my day - whether we’re just chilling or whether we’re brainstorming or whether we’re venting, it doesn’t matter. I know I can come to you for anything, and you to me, and that is so special. I am so grateful that the universe brought us together. I love you. 💗

@wifeofbarnes. My little menace. The fuel to my thots, the sweetness to my fluff. It still amazes me that all that time ago, that I recognised you when you found your way back to me - and fuck, I’m so happy you did. Not only have you been an endless source of inspiration, but you are now a dear friend that I adore. You’re always down for my ideas, and you always lend an ear or kind words when I need the support. I love you. 💗

@navybrat817, holy shit. I’m gonna start off by saying that this is insane to me, that I even get to talk to you (okay, starstruck moment over). You have been a blessing, and I am ever so grateful to call you a friend. Brainstorming with you is an out of this world experience and you always bloody know how to murder me, every single fucking time. It’s amazing. Not to mention your support, for which you are ever so generous with, for literally anything; whether that be moral, hyping me up, or just listening, and let’s be real, there’s been times that I’ve been so out of it when I’ve messaged you and you still manage to decipher what I’m saying, so kudos to you! 🤣 I love you. 💗

@buckycuddlebuddy, I don’t know where you have been all my life, but holy shit. We have not been talking for very long at all, but look at us - I feel like I’ve known you for so long and the way our chaos matches so perfectly? 👌🏻 it’s amazing. Your patience and your kindness have been a blessing, and I appreciate you more than I can express. I love you. 💗

@jen-with-a-pen, MY OUTLAW WIFE, bound in holy matrimony with our husband, Arthur. God, to tell you I was over the moon when I found out you loved him as much as I do, it would be an understatement. Not only are we in a thruple marriage, you are also a dear friend. Your excitement for everything gives me life and so much joy, it’s beautiful. I love you. 💗

This last bit is to all my beautiful followers and moots - fuck, I am grateful for you all. I am grateful for all the support this past year, and your continued support in the future. I hope that as a content creator, I get to push my boundaries even further than I have in the past 6 or so months. There was a time when I was terrified to write smut, now look at me! 🤣

Thank you all for coming on this journey, and may we have many, many more years to come.

I love you all. 💗💗💗

#Lana’s rambles #milestone #LOOK THIS IS SAPPY AS SHIT #AND I CRIED WHILE WRITING IT #do with that what you will #😭😭😭

[pauls1967moustache]

Hello. I am a fan of your fics and I'm trying to write my first fic now. I hope you won't mind if i ask you a couple of writing questions?

Did you ever take a class in writing?

How long do you take to write each fic?

Do you ever feel bad about your writing or read someone else's writing and think you arne't as good as them?

Do you use a beta?

Thank you if you answer!

Thank you! And I love this journey for you. Writing is fun :)

Did you ever take a class in writing? Nothing beyond English class in school, and googling Dan Harmon's story circle a million times and then never using it. But that doesn't mean writing is just something I fell into and was magically good at. (I feel like people who don't write always think this about writing, and then get frustrated when they are not magically good at it). I've been writing fic (on and off) since I was about 14, and before that I used to write little stories in my free time. It's something I've had a lot of practice in, and was probably very shit at when I started. So, y'know, unless you intend to write professionally I don't think you need a writing class, but you do need to actually do some writing, instead of just thinking about doing writing. You don't have to do it every single day (there were solid years where I didn't write more than like half an outline for anything), but if it's something you want to improve on you do actually need to make some sort of effort to do that. This was not the answer to your question, but I feel it answers the spirit of your question.

How long do you take to write each fic? Depends! The actual writing itself is usually about 3-5 days altogether (but I don't write anything very long anyways). The outlining before the writing can take anywhere from a week to months to years. I often start an idea, then leave it, then come back to it when the vibes are right in my brain. Some fics come out of me basically fully formed and some I have to shadow box into coherence. It is what it is.

Do you ever feel bad about your writing or read someone else's writing and think you arne't as good as them? Yes and no. Everyone who writes experiences this to some degree, because it is the nature of doing something creative. But also, as I've grown more confident and self-assured (in my writing, and just like, as a person alive), I find this happening less, or at least it feels less emotionally volatile when it happens. The trick to this, I think, is writing for yourself and not for others. Ignore every fic opinion you've ever read in your life, and write the fic you want to read, so that you like it enough that even when parts of it aren't that good, or when you don't get the response you want, you still like it enough to not let any of that affect you. The other trick to this is when you find someone whose writing you think is good and you keep feeling the need to compare yourself to them, get proper technical about it. What do you like about their writing? Is it the style? The structure? The themes? How did the writer do those things? How would you emulate that? (You honestly should do this for any writer you like, not just fic writers).

Do you use a beta? No, I never knew how to get one when I was younger, and kind of just developed a very self-contained writing process as a result. If you have a friend in the fandom though, it can help to have someone to chat to - not even as a beta, just to have someone to vent to who will cheer you on when you doubt yourself. I sometimes do this, and should honestly probably do it more so I don't get stuck overthinking ideas as much.

And lastly - again, you didn't ask - but the best advice I could possibly give you is that the creative process is a wild beast you will battle forever, so you kind of have to go with the flow here. You can use what I (or any other writer) does as a jumping off point, but there's no guarantees that any of that is going to work for you, so take what you need from whatever I said as a loose guideline rather than this is the way. If it's not working for you, try something else.

Good luck! Have fun! xxxxx

#asks #love when you guys ask me writing questions #i've said it before but i do always answer these like i'm being interviewed