#fun fact this was the first thing i ever wrote for this project when i was still fleshing stuff out

[a-christmas-carol-from-hr]

i'm very sorry that you have to have a body, one that will hurt you and be the subject of so much of your fear, it will betray you, be used against you, then it will fail on you, my dear

tw: major character death, stroke

an: uh hi i crave validation and love to talk about this thing i’m working on so uh have one of the side pieces i wrote for it C:

-

2012.

The Christmas Eve rain beat against the window as Jacob Marley, one half of Marley and Scrooge Financial, looked out over the London landscape. It was a terrible night, even by London’s standards. The rain seemed to lash at the window like some sort of typhoon, as if trying to break the glass and reach inside.

No doubt it was the rain that had brought on his headache.

Marley rubbed at his eyes as he looked out at the darkened sky. He’d had it ever since he’d gotten off the flight from New York. Must have been the elevation. He’d better not be picking up a flu from some nasty brat. He had no time to be sick. Scrooge was in Beijing until the New Year, closing out an account they’d been working on for years. It was his duty to hold down the fort until she returned, and he had no time to be ill.

But still the headache continued, throbbing persistently behind his eye. Fantastic. Americans.

Marley gave one last look at the infernal weather before turning and leaving his office. He needed a coffee.

Bob Crachit was in the kitchen, furiously stirring at some container on the counter. Her dark hair, barely held back with a cheap hair clip, tumbled over her face as she worked. She brushed it away, but all too soon it fell back again. Were Scrooge here, she’d have scolded Bob. She never looked presentable enough, the clothes she’d managed to scrape together that were office appropriate far below the standards of most everyone else in the firm. But Bob was the best executive assistant in London, and both Marley and Scrooge knew that. So her ‘issues’ were overlooked.

Even the most recent one. Bob stopped stirring at what looked like her dinner to place a hand on her stomach, winded from the effort. She was winded from most things these days, being nearly too pregnant to walk, let alone work. But business was business, and she needed the money. She rolled her neck one way and then the other, trying to gain some relief from her discomfort. And then she returned to her work. Bob was like that.

It made Marley feel a certain…way when he saw her fatigue, though he dare not voice it, even to himself. 

He didn’t bother to clear his throat as he entered, and Bob jolted in surprise as soon as she caught sight of him.

“Ah! Mr. Marley!” He had to give her credit. She could put on a happy face at the drop of a hat. What had been an expression of fatigue and discomfort turned to one of happy helpfulness. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Obviously.” Marley replied. “How about a cup of coffee, Crachit?” “Oh, no thank you!” She said with a smile, her good humor not dampened by Marley’s general aura of unpleasantness. But she turned to start one anyway. “I don’t think we have any more of the Arabia you prefer, Mr. Marley. Ms. Scrooge said-.”

“Not to bother ordering any.” Marley finished with a grumble. Figures. The unpleasant smell of burnt sodium reached his senses, and he damn near recoiled, the pain in his head inflaming at the sense.

“Dear god, what is that?!”

“Oh! I’m sorry!” Bob said, moving to move her meal. “It’s my dinner, sir. Instant ramen. I suppose it *is* a bit overdone.”

“You eat that slop?” He said incredulously. Bob laughed, embarrassed.

“It’s my late lunch. Just to tide me over until dinner. ‘Fraid I’m always hungry these days. But I can just toss it if it bothers you. After all, tonight we get a proper feast.” She said with ill-hidden delight. “The hubby’s getting it all ready. A proper roast meal. I’ve been saving for ages. I don’t think the Queen’ll eat better than we will.”

Marley doubted that, much to his own surprise. Crachit was ill-paid even by assistant standards, and much of her money went to supporting a disabled husband, paying London rent, and dealing with a now-impending baby. Why the damn fool got herself in the family way when she couldn’t afford it was beyond him. It was none of his business what others chose to do, but it became so when it hurt his business. And she’d be out on Mat Leave before long, and then what would they do. The girl was competent, even if it was her only saving grace. Very inconvenient. Bad for business.

His mind ached.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to breath out. Crachit stopped her prattling. “Mr. Marley?” She asked, quietly. “Are you alright?”

Her voice was so sincere. It nearly made him mad. The damn fool was worried about him, and he never spared her a thought of worry. Something, deep in his pained mind, prodded him. He didn’t like it.

“Fine. Headache. Look, Crachit.” He reached into his walled, pulling out a glossy credit card worth more than Bob’s entire family put together. “My head is killing me, and since Ms. Scrooge in her infinite kindness has seen it fit to deny me my coffee until the New Year, go get me one. From the cafe up the street. With-.”

“Oat milk and two stevia.” Bob replied instantly.”Of course, Mr. Marley. I’ll be right back.”

Marley turned to look out the window. And he looked at the meager meal Crachit had to eat. And something twisted in him again. “Crachit!” He called out. He heard the sound of footfalls before she poked her head around the corner.

“Yes?”

“Get a sandwich while you’re there.”

“Yes, of course.” Bob replied. “What would you like on it, Mr. Marley?”

“Whatever you want, you bloody fool. It’s for you?”

Bob’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Did I stutter, Crachit?”

“No, sir.”

“Get my coffee and yourself a sandwich, and be quick about it. I need to review the New York notes with you.”

Crachit couldn’t hide her smile of pleasure as she nodded, and that made him feel even worse. Shouldn’t have even offered in the first place. Now his mind hurt from multiple things. He found himself wishing Scrooge was here. Things seemed easier when she was around. Facing their present made it easier to ignore the past. Especially on December 24th, of all nights, where Crachit had to be there with her baby bump and-

The pain burbled behind his left eye, springing up like water. Marley stumbled, bracing himself against the counter. *Jesus Christ* it hurt. He’d ask her to get pain killers on the way back. The strongest they had.

“Crachit!” He called out, hoping she was still in listening distance.

But the word did not leave his mouth. Distantly, as if underwater, he heard his own voice. He heard the shapeless sounds that cried from his mouth. And then, then Jacob Marley felt fear.

The pain grew, bursting out into his skull. It wrenched a scream from his throat and crippled his body, like a puppet whose strings all were cut at once. His limbs flailed out as he fell to the floor, that distant voice that was and wasn’t his own screaming all the while.

He felt himself hit the ground even all through the pain and his mind was melting, struck with volt after volt of electricity, and *jesus* he could feel every cell of his mind *die* and he was dying he had to be he was going to die, right here on the floor of his counting house and he was alone, all alone, and the pain rose up into his throat and into his body, chaining him to the floor and chaining him to his fading mind and chaining him to *god no please no here not alone not with her so far from me im sorry im sorry fire flame volt make it sTOP*

He thought the word *Ellen*.

And then he thought nothing at all.

#Jacob Marley #the christmas carol retelling thing #a christmas carol #local man murdered by his own electricity motif #so sad #fun fact this was the first thing i ever wrote for this project when i was still fleshing stuff out #it wont be in the book itself but i still like it

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

DOWN BAD- P.B PARKER

Pairing- Jock! Peter x Nerd! Reader (enemies to… lovers?)

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Peter Parker constantly nags you, and you hate his guts (naturally). So what better way to mellow the hate by being paired together for a class project? And why, if you hate his guts, do you want to touch him so bad?

Warnings: Making out, suggestive sexual content, dry humping, teasing, swearing etc…

Notes: It’s been a while, I apologize if my writing is a bit rusty! I hope you enjoy nonetheless, I had a fun time writing, and I really did miss it (Taylor Swifts new album really inspired me too!) I am using my phone to post for the first time, I hope to go back and format/ edit if need be when I can use my laptop again. Thank you for all the support :)

“Don’t look at me like that.” You huffed, eyes sharp as daggers as your cool gaze slid over to your target and struck its mark.

Peter Parker. Bullseye.

You could feel his lingering attention solely focused on you, a coy smirk upon his lips as he tapped his pencil against the wooden desk, its dull echo like nails on a chalkboard. A taunting metronome in the back of your mark as he leaned over to tower over you in his seat.

It was too close to yours for your liking.

“Like what pipsqueak?” he murmured, drowning out the professor's droning voice as he dragged on. You wished you could hit him with the textbook in your bag. Both of them, honestly.

“Like you’re thrilled for this. Don’t act like you like me.”

“Well I do like you.” He smiled, beaming ear to ear.

For him, it was the best day of his life. Getting randomly paired with “whoever you’re sitting next to, I don’t care.” (the professor's words, not yours), was a thrill for him, he got to pick on the quiet, shy girl more than usual.

Which would be a shock, considering the sheer amount he did already, always finding his way next to you to tease you, especially with and to his stupid jockey friends. This project was worth thirty percent of your grade. You couldn’t afford this.

“Well I don’t like you. So fuck off.” You heard a low whistle from behind you, a chuck alongside it from his friends. “Kitty has claws?” Peter whistled, eyebrow raising in mock surprise as you shifted your legs to the other side of the chair, angling away from him.

“Oh you’re in for it now Parker” Bucky laughed as you covered your ears in an attempt to drown them out. You felt like you were in middle school again, the way they mocked you. And what made it worse was that it got to you. Not that the jokes and remarks meant anything much, but it was just the sheer annoyance of it all.

You had thrived to be a straight A student your entire life, and in this class… you could feel them slipping. Taking a deep breath, you clenched your pen harder in your hand, pressing so hard the page snagged as you wrote.

You could still feel his eyes on you, flickering over from under his glasses ,his muscles flexing subtly under his blue t-shirt. You pretended not to look, and to not focus on the fact he was extremely attractive. You spent the rest of the hour doing just that, scolding yourself for any indecent thought you had ever had about him, ever. By the time the professor had snapped his laptop shut, the projector turning dark as students started to talk amongst themselves as they packed up, you had half a page of notes, max.

“I’ll be in touch.” he leaned down and whispered, hand lingering by your chair as he slipped by. “Fuck you.”

He just threw his head back and laughed, his friend group joining him as he looked back. And winked. You groaned. This was going to be three weeks of hell.

—————————————————————————

It was a Thursday when you got a text from him. An unknown number flashed on your screen as you lay face down on your bed, contemplating life and if this class was seriously worth it or not.

The buzz of the phone had your head snapping up, confused until it suddenly dawned on you.

Unknown: Think we should start brainstorming for this thing pipsqueak?

Well fuck, you thought, wanting to throw your phone across the room. This class wasn’t that important, right? (It was).

Taking a deep breath, you sat up as your thumbs started to fly across the screen.

You: Who is this?

Unknown: I’m hurt, pips. Truly.

You: I think you have the wrong number.

You smirked. Okay, who were you kidding… this was kind of fun. Kind of.

Peter: It’s Peter, you jerk. Are you really going to make me spell it out for you?

You: Peter who? Doesn’t ring a bell.

Good. Knock him down a few pegs. You giggled to yourself, quickly stopping once you realised why exactly you were kicking your feet like a school girl, for who exactly. You layed back down, head muddled with meaningless thoughts that jumbled as you waited for his response. Grabbing a stuffie, you hugged it close to your chest, feeling it rise and fall as you caught your breath, grounding yourself. Why on earth did this mean so much to you? Why did his texts, something so easily ignorable- suddenly a waiting game?

Peter: Ha ha, very funny pips.

You: How did you even get my number anyways?

Peter: Long story, I had to go on a bit of a hunt. A friend, of a friend of a friend, you get the point. I can be very persuasive ;)

Nope. You thought. Don’t give into this.

You: I’m sure.

Peter: You wanna come over on the weekend or meet at Braxston’s to start… brainstorming?

You: I don’t want to do anything of the sort, but if that gets this over with as soon as possible- then sure. Only one of us has a brain to storm anyways.

Peter: You’ll regret that pips.

You clicked off your phone, a ghost of a smirk on your face. His threat surprisingly didn’t seem like a real threat, but actual light hearted teasing, not the kind he often did.

Fuck. You were supposed to be hating him. You did hate him. It was only three weeks with him. You weren’t sure if you meant that with relief or disappointment.

————————————————————————————

It was disappointment.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you rubbed your creased temple. It was nearly midnight , and your books were still scattered across the desk you occupied, the library a ghost town considering it was a Friday night. Braxston library tended to be on the empiter side, which is why you preferred it. It was the oldest library on campus, smelling of old pages and cedarwood.

Sometimes, when you needed a break you would get up and run your fingers across the leather spines, or climb the ladder for a change of view of the stained glass windows. But tonight, you lacked the motivation to even bother standing. It had been a long night, filled with cramming and stress. Pen and highlighter stained your hands as you shook them out, cramped and aching. For the last hour you had solely focused on the final you and Peter had to pull out your ass, coming up with backup plans with the worry he would abandon you completely.

Topics, ideas, theories- god you didn’t even know anymore. Your body lacked caffeine, your iced coffee long gone. You grew tired of this mindless work, sliding off your headphones to admire the near empty room around you.

Suddenly, you wished it was completely empty.

Peter looked just as shocked to see you, eyes widening in surprise, backpack slung over his shoulder, hair ruffled and eyebags prominent as if he had fallen asleep and been startled awake.

“Pips? I thought we weren’t supposed to meet until tomorrow?” He made his way over to you, inviting himself to lean over you, on your desk. You stared up at him with a look of amusement.

“We don’t have to meet at all. It’s very bold you assume I’m here to see you, of all people.” you snorted. His eyebrow raised. “So who are you here to meet?”

“Two papers and exam prep. You?”

“More or less the same” he smirked, and you felt butterflies start to churn in your stomach. “Sounds like great fun. I’m sure they’re lovely.” you said, snarky comment slipping out before you could stop it, turning in your seat as you often did around him so he wouldn’t see the fluster and nerves in your demeanour whenever you were near him.

He leaned down, breath warm against the column of your neck. You couldn't breathe. You could not fucking breathe with him this close to you. The rich scent of his cologne made you dizzy, it intoxicated you as you stared at your laptop screen, as if it possessed the knowledge of the entire universe.

“You know, you can’t avoid me forever. You’re gonna have to confront me at some point, pip.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about” you snarled softly, staring at the coy, cockly little smirk you wanted to wipe off his face as he stood. “Sure you don’t.” He nodded his head towards your screen, with a wink.

“Good song.” he smiled, before he was off. You continued to stare at him as he walked out the door, not looking back once. Not a care in the world as he slipped on his own headphones, and around the corner.

Eyes moved down to stare at the pause button of your song, lyrics burning into your ears at the thought of him listening to it- and enjoying it.

Down bad, waking up in blood, staring at the sky, come back over and pick me up- fuck it if I can’t have us, I might just not get up, I might stay down bad.

You were so incredibly fucked.

———————————————————

You took a deep breath. Then another.

You let the crisp, cool night air wash over your burning skin, the faint smell of weed tickling your senses, probably from a house down the street. It was a pretty busy neighbourhood, full of students you recognized from afar on campus. You didn’t associate with the more ‘popular’ kids, if that could even be considered a thing past high school.

You tried to shake off the uneasiness that stuck with you, cracking your knuckles as you tried to prepare yourself to not only see Peter, but to interact with him- in his house. Most likely for hours. You knew you probably looked like a complete idiot out on the sidewalk, just near his house but you had to muster some form of courage.

All you could see was a faint light from what looked like the living room, and a light upstairs- you presumed his room. No sign of life other than that.

You thought of his words, how twisted they sounded. You can’t avoid me forever. You’re gonna have to confront me at some point, pip.

Fuck it.

You slipped from your hiding spot (from Peter, you were placed behind a large tree in his front yard, but god knows what people driving by thought), and mentally prepared yourself for his roommates to answer the door, making fun of you before he put the cherry on top. Practically leaping up the porch stairs, you raced to the door, knocking quickly.

You wanted this over and done with. Your palms were clammy and your stomach churned viciously as you heard footsteps near the door. It took everything in you to stay rooted to the ground and to not flee, and when Peter appeared, you feared the opposite.

How the hell you were supposed to move with him in that slutty little fit, a pair of grey sweatpants slung low on his waist, his v-line and happy trail on full display… his toned abs and arms in a little white muscle shirt… gods you didn’t know. You were sure your tongue fully hung out of your mouth like some cartoon character as you took him in.

“Took you long enough” he said with a snort, adjusting his glasses, sliding them further up his nose. You didn’t even know he had glasses. Did he wear contacts? Had he worn them and you just didn’t notice? No, surely that wasn’t the case, you noticed everything he did. It was like he sucked all of the air out of the atmosphere whenever he walked in a room. It was suffocating, in a way. Of course you had to look at him, and you were sure you weren't the only one.

“I was admiring the greenery.”

“I saw that. I wasn’t sure the maple needed to be examined that long.” he smirked, and your felt your fists instinctively clench.

He had saw you- so you were fucked and now the only logical thing to do was to run into a brick wall. Perfect, got it.

“I enjoy living in the moment, and I don’t take nature for granted.’ you huffed, attempting to compose yourself as he stepped aside, motioning for you to enter. “I’m sure. Don’t worry it was cute.” he smiled, running a hand through his tosseled hair.

You slid off your shoes, setting them next to his worn in converse you always saw him wear. You noticed the other pairs were missing, not even a missing lace to be found.

“Where are your roommates?” you asked as entered, surveying the open space. It was surprisingly tidy for a boys place, and you couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of Peter rushing around attempting to clean up before you came (though you doubted he would ever do that). Still, it was nice to think about.

Little traces of “boy” still lingered, silly little signs scattered across the walls, flags and such, empty, crushed beer and poking out from the recycling bins. “I kicked them out, because I figured you would want to contentrate.” he said.

Yeah like I’m going to be able to conetrate with you looking that fucking fine. Ha.

“That’s considerate. I’m surprised you even know what that is, Parker. I’m impressed.”

He snorted, throwing a little look back your way as he lead you up the stairs, presumably to his room. “I’m surprised you know how to walk up stairs. You have Bambi legs.” he teased, mocking your clumsiness. You cursed him internally. Maybe out loud too, judging by his laugh.

You tried to stifle down the butterflies. You were not about to flirt with him. You were not about to let your developing feelings expand. You hated him. He was mean and he was an asshole.

You were simply here to get this project done. That’s it.

“You’re an asshole.”

“I know.” was all he said, turning down a hall to an open door, light glowing faintly- beckoning to you. You appreciated his refusal to use the overhead light- not that you’d tell him that. He’d probably look at you like you were insane.

“I see you clean for girls you bring over.” you noted, observing his (surprisingly) decently clean room.

“Bold of you to assume I cleaned. Maybe I’m always this tidy.” he smirked, arms flexing over and behind his head as he sat down in his office chair, man-spreading as he stretched.

You tried so hard not to stare. And failed miserably.

“I would’ve thought you cleaned up for ladies you bring to bed.”

His eyebrows arched. “Should I have prepared then?”

Something like churning fire burned in your belly, slithering lower and lower.

“Don’t start with me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it pip.” he smiled coyly, knowing he had gotten you flustered. “May I?” you nodded to his bed, trying to ignore your feelings as you sat down. Fanning your skirt out, you tucked your legs in before opening your bag, attempting to cover your thighs with your bag as much as you could- his cool gaze staring lasers into your bare skin.

“So… if we have to base this on a creature in the wild…”

“Jumping straight to the point aren’t we?” he asked and you frowned in confusion.

“What did you want me to do foreplay or something beforehand?” you asked, your word choice more than intentional. You swore a little pink tinted his cheeks as he swiveled around.

“Right to it then. Okay, I was thinking spiders. Specifically their venom and social behaviours.”

You blinked. Jesus okay he had thought about this. This was not what you were expected.

“Elaborate Parker.”

He smiled. “ From what I’ve seen, not a lot is known about the venom entirely. From a predator-prey aspect.. I’ve mainly seen stuff on specific components evolving to target specific sites on cell membrains of prey tissue, we could work with that to start. Maybe expand on the social aspect and evolution.”

You were stunned. This was… more than you could’ve hoped for. Suddenly you felt bad for all the doubt aimed towards him over the few days leading up to this meeting.

“Hmm. I like it.”

“Did you have any ideas you had brewing in that genius brain of yours?” he asked, making you blush internally.

“I had some stuff just in case, but it was just random jots I’m not too proud of.”

He scoffed. “You came prepared with backup stuff?!”

You just shrugged. “Do you blame me?”

“Kinda.” he laughed. “Start thinking of me more highly pips. I even have access to a brown widow, we could do some experiments.”

You winced at the thought of actually studying a spider up close, but it was part of the job. Whatever could get this done the fastest, and you had to applaud him for providing some of your own evidence you could actually showcase.

He caught your wince, and you could feel the teasing start to start. It was like bait for him, he loved it. “The spider may bite, but I won’t. That is, unless you want me too.” he winked, and you fought the urge not to chuck your laptop at his handsome face.

“You’re gross Parker.”

“Oh I’m sure you think I am. Doesn’t make a difference to me.”

You were going to strangle him. “Let’s just focus and get this project done as soon as we can, yeah? Please.”

You riffled through your bag, grabbing different coloured pens and your notebook, skimming through your random thoughts and jots.

“Whatever you say pip.”

“Start researching Parker.” And that was that.

—————————————————————

A few hours had passed, and so far you were quite impressed with how much the two of you had gotten done. For the most part, the two of you had stayed on opposite sides of the room. If he wanted to make a move, he wasn’t physically doing it, and his roommates still hadn’t come home yet.

Though as the hours passed, he had made his way closer to you- ever so slightly. From his desk he nudged over closer and closer, his laptop landing in his lap as he worked.

“What source are you working from right now?” you asked, not bothering to cast your gaze up as you continued to type, fingers flying over the keyboard as you bit your lip in concentration. You failed to notice his eyes darting between your lips and your breasts that poked out slightly as you slouched over, licking his lips hungrily.

“Some research paper. Here.”

You let out a little oomph in surprise as he plopped down beside you, sprawled across his bed as he enveloped you in his makeshift fortress. He stared at you with such longing you felt faint, having to stop your work to pull yourself together.

Fuck.

He nodded towards it, and you realized you had been staring at him longer than you intended, forgetting about the paper completely. “Oh, yeah okay let me look.” you murmured, taking the laptop from his hand to slide it across your lap, the fan whirling softly, the warmth of it adding more coals to the fire you felt already.

He was still staring.

Please look away before I want to kiss you. Or do more then kiss you. I’m supposed to be hating you, stop please.

You tried your best to read and concentrate, but it was next to no use. All you could focus on was him, his fingers drumming on the comforter near your thigh (what man has a comforter anyways?!), and his gaze on you, that was heavy with something. Want, perhaps? Lust? Or you were delusional. Very possible.

“It’s um, it’s good. I like it, I think there’s lots of good… stuff here.”

“Good stuff huh?” he asked sarcastically, a smirk plastered across his face.

He knew. The fucker knew you were down bad.

“Yeah. You know what I mean.” you grumbled, staring back down at your screen.

“I do know what you mean. Do you know what I mean?” he asked, hand inching closer and closer to your thigh- teasing you. You took a deep breath, grounding yourself.

You could push your hatred aside for just a few minutes. It was okay, just this once. Right?

You bit your lip, and fuck if that didn’t turn him on even more. Nodding to him, as if he could speak to you telepathically.

Yes, this is okay. Please touch me. Just a little, even is fine.

“Maybe you should explain a little more, Parker.”

His fingers skimmed the edge of your skirt, warm to the touch as they stroked your skin softly, just a whisper of him lingering. Goosebumps lingered in their wake, and you pushed your laptop off to the side, not caring where it landed on the bed. Just not next to him.

“How much more?”

His voice was low. Deep. Needing. You wanted more.

Another stroke of his fingers on your thigh, closer to where you wanted him the most made you shiver, toes curling. His gaze never left yours, never faultered. Instead of its usual lightness, his teasing and bullying- his eyes were dark with lust. Nothing but his full attention was on you, and you couldn’t help but shudder as he leaned in closer.

Another hand landed on your thigh. “Yeah?” he asked, voice rough as you nodded quickly. “Mhmmm..- oh!” you let out a little gasp as he swiftly grabbed you, swinging you over to straddle his lap, tossing you as if you weighed nothing.

You hated that you found it hot.

He smirked, leaning forward- so close you could feel his thudding heart with a small hand gesture sliding across his chest, could feel his breath catching. Just a small little gap between his lips and yours.

“You’re going to regret this.” you murdered, fingers curling into his shirt, twisting the soft fabric.

“I won’t. Will you?”

“I might.”

His smile grew.

“ I still hate you, you know.”

“I know. And you look so damn hot when you do.” He pulled you closer, fingers digging into your skin, needing you closer and closer despite the two of you practically forming one being.

A clash of teeth and tongue happened, rough and harsh- full of hate and need. A hatred for your need for him. Why did you need him? Of all people?

Because he was so fucking fine.

A hand slipped under your skirt to cup your ass, squeezing it slightly. You ran a hand through his hair, tugging on it as your hips moved on their own account- causing a groan to slip from his lips.

You’d do anything to hear it again.

“This is so wrong.” was all you could moan as his lips worked their way down your neck, tracing your jaw before nipping at your earlobe.

“I don’t do right, pips. You know this.”

“Mhm. But you hate me.”

He laughed against your skin, and you rocked your hips again, a little slap to your asscheek making you jolt.

“Whatever makes you sleep better at night, pips. Whatever you want to think.” he sighed, massaging the skin as you toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

You needed his lips on yours. You didn’t want to even try to decipher what his words meant, your head was foggy with want. You were slipping into a puddle of bliss, finally letting the restraint you held on a tight leash go- freeing the want and pure desire.

Yes, you wanted him. Yes, you hated him. And yes, he teased you. It hurt- but this didn’t. This was a soothe to his constant jabs, a salve to the wounds he caused.

“You feel so good. I want you so bad.” you confessed, causing him to moan again.

Yes. Yes, please.

“You’re killing me.”

“Good. It’s payback for the way you treat me.” you smirked, kissing him again. Hard, fast, rough. Mean.

Until he just… stopped.

Pulled away slightly, making you raise an eyebrow with confusion. His cheeks tinted slightly pink, hair messy and eyes wide with excitement, eager to keep going. To go further. So why did he just- stop?

“Parker?”

He smiled coyly.

“Don’t we have work we need to be doing?” he asked sarcastically- and you felt your stomach drop. He was teasing you. He was doing this just to get under your skin, to leave you high and dry and needing. Knowing damn well nothing could possibly get done now but him.

“You- you just want to get back to work? After that?”

“I want to do the dirtiest things imaginable to you, pips. I want to do so many things. But if we keep going and get nothing done, you’ll regret it and hate me. If we get work done, you’ll hate me too. I rather you hate me but feel secure with this, at least.” he murmured, brushing your cheek with his thumb.

It was tender, and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “So you just, want to work? Did I do something wrong?” you asked.

“Gods no. But it’s too easy if I just give it to you like that. You know me, pips- I tease. Maybe if you’re good and get more work done we can have some harmless, regretless fun.” he winked, sliding his hands down to your hips, picking you up again to toss you gently on his pillows, kissing your hand with a wink as he stood to go back to his desk.

Oh you were fucked. So, so fucked.

“I heard that.” he laughed, and you buried your head in your hands. This was going to be a long three weeks indeed.

#peter parker #andrew!peter x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #tasm peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #tasm peter #tasm fluff #tasm andrew garfield #tasm smut #andrew!peter fluff #andrew!peter imagine #andrew!peter parker #andrew!peter smut #andrew garfield #andrew!peter fanfiction #spiderman fic #spiderman x reader #spiderman fanfiction #spider man fic #peter parker spiderman #tasm fic #tasm fanfiction #andrew spiderman #spiderman smut #spider man fanfiction

[literallymechanical]

Alessandro Volta's Electric Eels

Okay so, it turns out that your cell phone battery is a basically a homunculus of an electric fish. 

These are the same thing. Let me explain.

@fishteriously, a paleoichthyologist, told me that Alessandro Volta invented the electric battery after studying electric eels and rays.  This sounded like a fun science factoid!  I wanted to know more!  I saw the claim repeated on any number of pop science articles from the last century or so, but none that quoted from primary sources.

The voltaic pile is one of the most important inventions, ever, of all time.  Before Volta, electricity could be stored in Leyden jar capacitors, which would discharge in a single, brief burst. Volta's pile was the first method of producing a continuous electric current, which launched the modern era of electricity as we know it. His explanation for how it worked was incorrect, but it was still a massive breakthrough.

Batteries use the same principle to this day, just with different materials (e.g. cobalt oxide, graphite, and lithium salts rather than silver, zinc, and brine).

But is it a fish?

This is Volta's first schematic of a battery, or "voltaic pile" – at the time, "battery" referred to a bunch of Leyden jars linked in series, the term wouldn't come to refer to piles until later. "Z" and "A" stand for zinc and silver ("argentum"), with brine-soaked paper disks between. It does look a bit like an eel?

But is it truly?

Surely, if Volta modeled the pile after electric fishes, I’d be able to find a citation!  Wikipedia is usually a good place to start when hunting primary sources, but no luck.  No mention of fish at all.  I trust fishteriously more than wikipedia, however, so I went digging.  Looks like Volta first reported his discovery in a Letter to the Royal Society in 1800.

Found the letter!

Aw beans, it’s in French.  I haven’t studied French since high school.

BUT WAIT. WHAT WAS THAT.

Une commotion électrique? A trembling eel???

Okay so now I NEEDED to read the letter in English. I found an English-language summary published by the Royal Society, but it looks like the only English translation of the full letter was in the appendix of an out-of-print book called “Alessandro Volta and the Electric Battery.”

So I bought a used copy. Let's see what Volta has to say about this:

"To this apparatus ... I have constructed it, in its form to the natural electric organ of the torpedo or electric eel, &c, than to the Leyden flask and electric batteries [battery = linked Leyden flasks], I would wish to give the name of artificial electric organ."

Yes! The voltaic pile was explicitly modeled after electric fishes – torpedo rays and electric eels.  Fishteriously was 100% correct. Volta never even calls it a "pile," it is always "artificial electric organ." A significant portion of the letter is devoted to electric eels and torpedo rays, in fact.

But also, the rest of the letter is bonkers.

He wrote pages on painful experiments with the artificial electric organ – touching it, poking it into his eyes and ears, making other people touch it, generally just shocking the ever loving hell out of himself over and over. He routinely shocks himself so hard that he has to take breaks. And of course, he licks it.

But that's not the best part:

He says that the artificial electric organ can be turned sideways and submerged in liquid...

"...by which means these cylinders would have a pretty good resemblance to the electric eel ... they might be joined together by pliable metallic wires or screw springs, and then covered with a skin terminated by a head and tail properly formed, &c."

There you have it. One of the most important scientific discoveries of all time, and it includes a crafts project for building an authentic electric eel puppet.

In summary, next time you charge your phone, take a moment to thank the soul of the electric fish inside of it.

#science #engineering #not mad just disappointed

[taylor-titmouse]

2023 Book Retrospective

it's pretty much the end of the year, and i've never done this before, but i wanted to take a look at what i managed to do in 2023 and share some of my thoughts on it! i published five novellas this year (though i didn't actually write one of them) plus the public release of the demo and first huge update to You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain. that's a lot!

so let's dig into all that. this will contain some spoilers for the books, because it's hard to talk about them without talking about what's in 'em, so maybe check out my itchio first and grab anything you missed! (but also.... perhaps wait until this weekend before you buy anything. shh.)

You're A Mage on Monsterfuck Mountain, released in March

TECHNICALLY, the demo was finished and available on patreon around the end of last year, and didn't become public until I'd finished the garden update, which i did finish this year. and what a massive fuckin THING that was. 60k words! 50 illustrations!! the biggest thing i ever put out and technically finished, and the beginning of a move to being less afraid of writing "weird" sex. there was so much bee sex in it. arguably too much bee sex in it. which i'd left entirely til last to do which meant i was writing nothing but bee sex for weeks.

this was the first time i let myself really indulge in writing dubcon for the bad endings, and it was a lot of fun. very often it was more interesting than the deliberately horny routes, because it meant writing a way to be put in the situation, and also making it hot every time. i'm very much of the philosophy with dubcon that even if the situation wasn't Ideal for the character, they're still going to get good sex out of it. i believe i put it at another point as, i'm here to write the pleasure of helplessness, not suffering. to that point, the dubcon endings for the armor, the dryad, and the queen bee were my favorite bits from this.

the fact i never got a second update out this year is a big regret. i finished a bunch of the routes for it, but ultimately i wanted to have things i could release! shortly after publishing the demo and update, i officially put my webcomic on hiatus so i could focus more on my graphic novel, and also spend more time on my writing. having that extra time is probably the only reason i was able to write as much as i did this year, and i didn't want to spend it toiling away on a serial project i couldn't release for months at a time.

which leads us to the release of my first novella of the year...

House of the Risen King, released in April

now this is when i truly said "i'm just going to write what i think is hot and interesting and not worry about how it's perceived!!" and went whole hog on exhibitionism and monster dubcon cult horror. house was mostly inspired by the ending of Hereditary, and was originally going to be more poltergiesty and played more straight, with vee being harangued by a bunch of horny ghost-demons and nothing more sinister than that. but i've had cult shit percolating at the back of my brain forever, and i wanted to play with ideas i'd first developed in shadow in the shelves with rituals and shadows, so here we are! the scene of hettie fingering vee in the bathtub while vee's god-fucked out of her mind is my favorite.

fun fact, the original seed for this book was actually going to feature max and mortis, my photographer/model couple (that link goes to cohost because i wasn't posting here yet when i was drawing them the most). the idea was they'd go do an urban exploration shoot and mortis would start getting fucked by a ghost while max filmed it, but the more time i spent with those characters the less i wanted to involve the supernatural. which meant i never wrote their book, and had to make a new character to do the idea. and then it wasn't even that idea anymore.

that's writing, folks

Roger Crenshaw: The Dogs at Duskfall, released in June

... which makes it ironic that the next book is one i didn't even write! r/l monroe @mortalityplays has been my friend for years, and was my editor for a long time (until he got a REAL JOB and didn't have TIME to edit anymore. sobs, cries, kicks a stone and walks into the distance). he's also always been an incredible writer, and for my birthday this year i asked him to write me something. i asked with the expectation of a little short story about our old tabletop RP characters, or a fanfic scene for one of my books he'd edited.

and then he wrote me 20,000+ words digging into the character of roger crenshaw and who he is that perfectly summed him up and tied all his stories together, such that i don't think i ever need to write another one. he did it, he wrote the perfect ending to roger. AND he did it using my favorite of his ocs from our tabletop campaign, AND there's some really hot and sweet smut in it. AND HE DID IT IN LIKE TWO WEEKS.

i loved it so much that i asked if i could illustrate and publish it as an official novella, and to my delight he agreed, and it was so so nice to collaborate with him on it. even if it meant beating our heads against the wall for 30 minutes about the placement of certain images on the page.

this was a great tragedy. i'd drawn the vagina one first, but an image earlier in the book had to be moved, which affected the placement of everything else. the vagina image had been perfectly at the start of a new page, and then suddenly it wasn't. so i had to do the penis one instead for better placement. tragic!!!

it's hard to pick a favorite scene in something written entirely, lovingly for you. how can i choose between the characters' pitch perfect semantic arguments on the nature of folk lore, the millenium princess-ass memory hopping, or the really really hot smut? i can't. i love it all. thank you r/l for being so good at what you do and writing this for me, i'll treasure it always.

The Dragon Double Feature, released in May

apparently this came out in may, and not july. i don't know why i've been convinced this came out in july. oh well i can't be bothered to insert it on top of the roger one.

anyway. THIS book. this book exists because i believe at the time i was a bit blocked, and wanted to just write SOMETHING. for a long time i've had the idea of a dragon wrecking a princess' wedding and fucking her in front of the congregation just sitting in my back pocket. it was the 'i know i could just slam this out if i wanted. i don't have to care about it it's just sex and then it's done' fallback idea, and i finally did it!

and then it was too short. i don't like the idea of publishing anything less than 10k words for full price, so i was like. okay. alright. i've always thought fucking an eastern dragon would be hot and have this other idea i was going to use for roger (back when i had an idea for every monster possible for roger), let's just write that. kenta is only kenta because i took a poll for what body type i should pair with a dragon (he was 'big boy', i think the other options were twink, older woman, and average woman). and i was also Really into the movie inu-oh at the time, which is probably obvious with kenta being a blind musician, lol.

the musician and the waterfall was tougher to write because i didn't have a clear vision of how it should end or even how they should fuck (the mechanics of fucking long noodle dragon have challenged me for years) but i'm ultimately pleased with it. it would have been a long time since i wrote something sincerely romantic, and it was nice to go back to it. i'm a HUGE romantic at heart.

both stories are pretty much one extended scene so it's hard to pick a favorite moment from them, but i will say i'm very pleased with how i approached writing the musician and the waterfall, specifically in the challenge i set myself to never use visual description kenta couldn't reasonably guess. writing from the POV of a blind man made me focus in on different senses and ways to describe them.

this book is also, as of right now, my best seller. which is great! i love that for me.

The Dragon Double Feature 2, released in July

okay i guess THIS one released in july.

anyway i got stricken with the curse with this one. a lot of people wanted me to write a sequel, but i wasn't going to. and every time i say i'm not going to do something, i end up doing it. it's so annoying. this one only happened because i wanted to write a SHORT! a SHORT extra for patreon describing kenta and wakatake's first time having sex as humans.

and then i wrote too much preamble describing their time on the beach. and then i got emotionally invested in unpacking their actual relationship, and also added a third character with mrs arakawa, and had to bring it all together into a story that was coherent and had something to say about the way they loved and ALSO ended in a THREESOME because WHATS THE POINT OF INTRODUCING A THIRD CHARACTER if they aren't all going to FUCK TOGETHER!!

it was tough. but i'm really, really happy with it in the end, and think it's one of the best things i've ever written. my favorite scene is definitely them playing with the hermit crab on the beach. metaphors babie.

the gundrid/eveline story is fine too. lmao. i NEVER PLANNED TO WRITE ANOTHER WITH THEM!! i only did it because the idea of publishing a sequel to a story from a double feature without writing a sequel to the other half of the feature was insane. and now eveline and gundrid are some of my most beloved characters, to the point of writing another book featuring them...

The Tenebrous Tower, released November

yet another book i'm pretty sure i was like 'i don't need to write this. this character doesn't work for a story on his own, what am i ever gonna do with him' and then i dumped a bunch of fantasy characters into a jar with him and suddenly i had a story. I ONLY MADE ROMICK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DRAW FUCKED UP WIZARD PORN AND MY ONLY OTHER OPTION WAS A GRANDPA!!!

anyway i started writing it as something to do on vacation, and it was just gonna be a bunch of dungeon bdsm vignettes until i hit on a throughline and suddenly i had a story and an emotional arc and damn i did it again. i did it again. i have a book.

i was expecting this one not to do very well because it had multiple prerequisites, but because i am a master of my craft i made sure to write it so you didn't need to read those. and then people read it without reading those. so it worked out anyway and now it's done just about as well as dragons 2. the people love romick, but they especially love the idea of him being destroyed. maybe someday. maybe someday. (except on patreon, where it's already happened)

the final vignette with the doll is, of course my favorite. i think it was a lot of people's favorites.

............................................

and that's everything i published this year! honorable mention to my novel starbuster, which i'd written most of last year, then spent all of october this year revising with the intent of finishing it, only to run out of steam by the time i was done revising it. so it's exactly where i left it last year. just better written. god it would be nice to finish that fuckin thing next year.

my goals for 2024 are, of course: release more books!! i have a big project i've been working on illustrating for the past month that i'd like to release in january, and i've also been working on a spin-off one-shot with mrs arakawa and an oni. i think this coming year i want to Try to blast through some of the one-off ideas i developed this year so they'll quit banging cowbells in my brain. like the sleeping garden. it makes me insane i never actually wrote the sleeping garden.

anyway if you actually made it to the end of this, thank you!! if you've bought all of these books, double thank you!!! i've been able to pay my rent and expenses just with my adult work this year, and it's been amazing and fun and super fulfilling. thank you for supporting me in 2023, here's to a horny 2024!!

#tt talks writing #taylor titmouse

[dduane]

Ok so

1. I’ve only ever read one book you wrote (So You Want To Be a Wizard) but it was very good and I love it. Big fan.

2. Both out of curiosity and on behalf of my sister, as a writer of Barbie Fairytopia, did you invent Bibble. Because my sister has Bibble as her Home Screen and my whole family had a conversation about Bibble yesterday.

Thank you. Ur books are cool.

Thank you! Glad you liked SYW... . 😊

Now, about Bibble (and a nod here to @the-best-of-the-geeks, who also inquired about this):

The answer is... maybe. At this end of time, it's hard to tell.

I took a few moments off from today's* graphic arts work to go digging in my archived project files. What I can see from a quick glance at them is that Bibble (or the character who'd eventually be Bibble: there were a lot of name changes throughout the writing process) doesn't appear in any of the drafts of the worldbuilding bible I wrote, or in other associated background material. If it had, that would've been—not absolute, but at least fairly strong circumstantial evidence—that I was the character's creator.

The problem is that when you're working on a big-IP project like this, there are so many people involved in the creative process that it can become really difficult to accurately trace any one character's or story element's "lineage". It's possible Bibble originated in a note to me from one of the creative team, which would have been one of hundreds of archived emails. Or it might have been something suggested to me in a phone conversation... of which there were many. Without sifting through all those emails (and please forgive me, that's not something I've got time for at the moment) it's tough to say.

What I am sure of is that Bibble definitely turned up on my watch. I have a premise file dated 30 December 2003 which does not contain the character, and then a second-draft premise dated 10 January 2004... in which, with a slightly different name, Bibble first appears. Bibble (as Bobble) is also in my first draft screenplay, which was turned in in early February 2004.

So that much, at least, we can be sure of. Bibble's personality and speech style is clearly spelled out in the script (as is the suggestion that Bibble be voiced by Frank Welker. It's a shame that didn't happen: I'm a huge fan of his).

But this still doesn't constitute proof that I invented the character. Bibble could very well have been suggested to me by someone else—and suggestions and notes are so free-flowing in a project like this that it's possible we'll just never know. (sigh) Such is life.

What I do want to emphasize here was how extremely pleasant this whole project was, from beginning to end. There are screenwriting projects that will make you shudder decades after the fact just on hearing their name. But there are others that unfailingly make you smile when someone mentions them... and this, for me, was one of those.

The giveaway of how much fun I was having lies in some stuff that happens in the script and would, to those unfamiliar with tropes in animation writing, look like nothing in particular. But a recurring joke among animation writers back then (and maybe still) was designating a character's speech as a walla. In this case, it means not just a description of some kind of crowd noise—the usual definition—but of that particular character making speechlike noises. It's the kind of thing you don't bother doing if you're not feeling playful. (Or at least I don't.)

...Anyway: hope this has helped, at least a little. :)

*This post was written at the very beginning of May 2023, around the time the WGA strike was starting. During the strike period I haven’t been comfortable with doing long posts about my screen work… but the strike’s over now. 😄 Thanks to @violet-yimlat and @the-best-of-the-geeks for being so patient.

#Fairytopia #Bibble

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

Do you have any advice for writing your first draft?

I’ve just finished an outline for a fic of mine, and like all my projects I abandoned them at the first draft because I lose interest in the story.

So, how can I stay interested long enough to complete my draft and move on to actually finishing the story?

HOW TO WRITE A FIRST DRAFT

A first draft is the hardest draft you will ever write; it’s creating something from nothing, without the benefit of using a previous draft as a base. Obstacles such as writer’s block and motivation may oppose you at every turn, and it can be easy to get sidetracked and frustrated when you have ideas for the “middle” of the story but somehow can’t get to it. 

Just know that everyone is different and writes in a way that works for them, so don’t feel pressured if these tips don’t work for you or don't fit your style of writing!

1. Start With a Good Outline

Since you don’t have a previous draft as a foundation for your writing, your outline will take the place of this! Refer to my posts below:

How to Outline

Plotting for Pansters and Pantsing for Plotters

You can also refer to my FAQ, which includes a variety of resources on getting started. This includes posts on how to get into writing fiction, how to write consistently, and how to combat writer's block!

2. Know that You Don’t Have to Write in Chronological Order

Write what inspires you! If you have no idea what your first scene is going to be but have very specific ideas about a coffee shop interaction during the middle of the book,  write the coffee shop scene instead of staring at your blank word doc for an hour and giving up!

Writing is better than not writing, even if it’s not the part of your story that you “need” to get done. In fact, it can be easier (and more cohesive!) to write all of the major scenes you’re excited about first and connect them together, than to write out everything in the order from start to finish.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Write Incomprehensible Garbage

This goes hand-in-hand with the tips I highlight in my post about overcoming writer’s block. When it comes to a first draft, DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT, and QUANTITY OVER QUALITY. It is totally okay if your first draft is covered in placeholders for scenes and conversations that you don’t feel like writing.

For example, rather than getting stuck on writing about your characters on the car ride to the carnival, just write and highlight in red “THEY DRIVE TO THE CARNIVAL” and come back to it later. That way, you can have fun actually writing the carnival scene instead of struggling to write the stuff leading up to it. Momentum is the key to getting your first draft done, not producing writing that “sounds good.”

If you’re just going to go back and edit it later, why bother getting stuck on that now? This leads me into my next point:

4. STOP EDITING!!!

When it comes to a first draft, opening up the doc and editing the things you already wrote for the 712123979843th time is not progress; now you just have one REALLY good scene and no rest of the story. Save the editing for later; you’re more likely to lose steam and feel stuck if you keep getting caught on the same things over and over again. 

I am calling myself out on this one, as I am INCREDIBLY guilty of using editing and rewriting as an excuse to not write new material, but unfortunately it has to be said. Having it in your mind that you’re making progress when in reality you’re using editing as an avoidant technique will not help you in the long run (as much as I wish it would). 

This can sometimes be helped by writing each chapter (or scene that’s getting you stuck) in a new document so that you have no choice but to focus on what you’re currently writing; sometimes the temptations of editing are too great to resist when you have all of your writing in one place!

5. Set Specific Goals and Document Your Progress

Setting goals helps you break up the huge task of “writing a book” into more manageable chunks. 

For example, heading into a writing session with the goal “finish this chapter” or “finish this scene” or “write this dialogue” can make it easier to overcome writer’s block; you are solely dedicating your focus on doing this specific task, and are less likely to get distracted. It’s better than barging head-first into it with no direction, and may also have the added bonus of keeping your writing cohesive.

Documenting your progress can help hold you accountable for reaching the goals that you set. If you like to perform under pressure, maybe you can document your progress online or with a friend; that way, you feel a bit of a pushback from outside sources to get things done! Keeping consistent will also help in maintaining a steady flow of inspiration—you’re always thinking ahead!

However, you should remember that life happens, so don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling to reach your goals or deadlines! Nobody is a writing machine!

Hope this helps, and happy writing!

#writing #writeblr #booklr #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writing guide #writing resource #writing resources #writing ref #first draft

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @stevesbipanic! They have fourteen works under the Stranger Things tag and thirteen of those works are under the Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson tag over on Archive of our Own!!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following of their works by stevesbipanic:

Stevie's Time Loop

Home For Christmas

Remember Me

The Clothes That Make Us

Boy for All Seasons

She's an amazing writer that's able to make you feel connected to the characters, especially Steve. She's able to make me both cry and laugh in the same fic which is a feat to do well. She's also an amazing friend. Stevie's Time Loop is one of my favourite as it's a really unique way of writing a timeloop with large time jumps and most loops focusing on Steve and his trauma rather than finding a solution. - anonymous

Below the cut, @stevesbipanic answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Steddie was the first ship that ever drove me to write fanfiction. I think the fact that I see myself a lot in both of them, especially Steve makes them so enjoyable to write for me. I think they’re also such moldable characters that you can write them into a lot of different stories quite easily and I love exploring their personalities and dynamics.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Soulmate AUs because I’m a sucker for true love.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Angst with a happy ending, I love making both these boys and my readers cry but also want them to be happy and in love in the end.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

This is such a hard question, there are so many talented writers and amazing fics, but if I had to choose one I’d have to say “The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting” by badpancake, it was one of the first time loop fics I read and really inspired my own time loop fic.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’d love to explore a fantasy AU in the future, I know many talented authors writing dragon!eddie and King Steve or knight and bard steddie and it is one of my favourite genres of fics that are outside of Hawkins.

What is your writing process like?

A mess, most of my works on Tumblr are spur of the moment ideas that will come to me and I immediately need to write them down. It’s actually the longer slower projects that are hardest for me since they require a lot more planning and editing, I really admire the authors consistently putting out those big fics.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I’d say my most noticeable one is how I write dialogue, I really don’t like writing steve said eddie said etc etc. I usually write each thing said on it’s own line and it’s clear who’s speaking by what they say or how they say it, I think it breaks up the story nicely too since you feel you’re seeing the conversation rather than reading it.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

As soon as I finish writing I want people to see it, I kinda hate sometimes when I’m doing a project and have to wait for a specific time to post but the anticipation can be fun too.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Honestly, I’m most proud of my latest fic “Home for Christmas” it was the first time I’d ever participated in a bang and the project felt huge, it felt like a big achievement getting it all out in the end and it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written as a bonus.

How did you get the idea for Remember Me?

I think I’d been reading a fic where Steve got a concussion and had a bit of temporary memory loss and I just thought what if all those concussions had long lasting effects on Steve’s brain when he grew older. I’ve also experienced a love one going through long term memory loss and how hard it is to watch that.

When writing Stevie's Time Loop, what was something you didn’t expect?

I didn’t expect it to become a whole fic! It started off as one little off hand drabble I wrote that alluded to a lot of loops surrounding the scene of Steve and Robin discussing how Robin had a bad feeling about this and just thought well what if this is like time loop deja vu.

What inspired The Clothes That Make Us?

Exploring why Steve dresses how he does and how he likes the things he does and how there’s an emotional reason behind some of the fans favourite outfits was something I wanted to explore more and this was my very first fic I wrote for ao3 so it was a bit daunting but also very exciting.

What was your favorite part to write from Boy for All Seasons?

My favourite part was definitely thinking of all the silly costumes Eddie would come up with as well as flirty Steve is so fun to write.

How do/did you feel writing The Clothes That Make Us?

I felt nervous since it was the first fic I ever wrote but excited since I felt really proud writing something that long and the feedback I got was so heartwarming.

What was the most difficult part of writing Remember Me?

Omg just getting to the end without crying so hard, after I posted it so many people messaged me about how they cried through it, just know I was writing that through tears too!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

"Thank you for giving me a life worth remembering.” in “Remember Me” makes me want to cry everytime and really shows what we want for our favourite characters is to have a happy life however long they get.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I’ll be posting my fic in the upcoming Reverse Bang in March which is exciting and I’ve got a secret project coming up later this year that people can follow @steddielycrying.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I’d just like to thank everyone who’s supported me through writing, whether it be a random comment on a fic or my lovely mutuals that get me through hard days, this has been an amazing fandom to be apart of and I can’t wait to write more!

Thank you to our author, @stevesbipanic , and our nominator! See more of @stevesbipanic's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#steddie fic recs #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #writer's spotlight #writer's wednesday

[all-things-jily]

Ok but we get harassed for tagging ships that are in the post too just because there’s other ones mentioned

The fandom is supposed to be fun! You guys support harassment and bullying over fiction! The problem that needs addressing is the people who harass not the people who tag! There’s a way to get people not to tag btw it’s tell them nicely! Not act horribly! Jily fans been sending jegulus writers hate & writing “if you wrote jily maybe you’d get treated better” the problem lies with the way jily fans act & people will start biting back because people can only take so much.

OK so I was looking at this for some minutes, truly dumbfounded. Because it's like no matter what we say we're not being heard.

Rant below for those who want to avoid it lol

"You guys support harassment and bullying over fiction!"

I'm ?????? Where in the world have either of us who have spoken up done that? When have we ever said anything other than "tag your posts properly"? Don't these two sentences have completely different meaning? Who are these people that are harassing? Because harassment is never ok and we have not encouraged that. But if you think that simply telling a person who used incorrect tags to remove the extra ones is harassment, I'll have to tell you that no, it is not, it is a very normal thing to do actually.

Yesterday there were a few posts about asking people to tag properly and in response we got that "Jily fans are horrible and inhumane, they harass and bully, they're the worst people ever" and actually got harassed in response. Do you think there's anything normal and fitting in what happened and in that reaction?

"Jily fans been sending jegulus writers hate & writing “if you wrote jily maybe you’d get treated better” this is actually wild because NONE OF US in our community have done that or WANT that, we want to stay as far away from all of that as possible. If you have some anon trolls going around in the community, that has nothing to do with us, most of us are grown people who have been fans since books came out and ain't nobody got time for that, I'm sure most of us don't even know who your writers are or their accounts. In fact, you can tell just by wording of that message that it's clearly a troublemaking troll and not a serious fan, no normal human talks like that.

As for fandom being fun, YES, it's supposed to be fun! But this is where my words about it not being a group project come in, because what's fun for you is not fun for us! In fact, it's the opposite of fun, we dislike it immensely, it upsets us and puts us in a bad mood and it doesn't even belong in our tag. So why should we be upset every single day, going into our tag that's supposed to be a place of comfort and fun, seeing things that are not supposed to be there, when people can simply --- tag properly according to Tumblr guidelines? And this is not new, we've been put through this for years now, and we've been asking politely over and over and over and nobody is listening, and now that we've gotten louder - in our own tag - suddenly we're the bad guys and harassers. When should it be enough? So this part of the ask "people will start biting back because people can only take so much" was incredibly ironic, because we've been taking it for YEARS and now we aren't even biting back, we're simply asking to tag and posting silly memes in our own space but are still getting vilified.

I will also address the first point because I think it causes a lot of general confusion about tagging:

"tagging ships that are in the post too just because there’s other ones mentioned"

A ship tag is for posts that have positive mentions of that ship. If a post mentions multiple ships and is "X is great, Y is good, Jily is bad, I don't like it anymore" - this is not for Jily tag; If a post has "Jily were together for 2 minutes, broke up and then *insert 3 paragraphs gushing over another ship that were true loves*" - this is not for Jily tag; If a post has a poly ship that includes James and Lily - this is another ship, not Jily; If a post is a huge fanfic dedicated to another ship with James or Lily and then has the last sentence about Jily basically settling together - this is not for Jily tag, though I see how there could be arguments about it; There are many other instances too that I can't think of right away at this moment, but basically there's nuance here and just because Jily is brought up in a post doesn't make a post about Jily and the tag is for people who love the ship and want to celebrate their love, and the last thing they want to see there is completely unrelated posts with random Jily cameo in them that do not even portray them in a good way. This last topic is a bit of a complicated one with slippery edges, but I hope it was still comprehensible.

#imagine how tired we are

[fanmoose12]

Hello 🤎

Dropping by your ask box to say how much I enjoy and love your works! You're so precious to the Levihan community and I can't get enough of your stories.

If you still take prompts (no pressure though if you don't or if you don't like the prompt or if you already wrote something similar), I'd like to read a story set in High School AU.

Against all odds Levi, the most popular student/amazing athlete/gorgeous boy asked Hange, the four-eyed/androgynous/nerdy/dirty/brilliant genius he barely knows to prom. The story can be either how/why he asked Hange and what were their reaction (and the other students reaction) or what happens on prom night when he picks a dolled up Hange up at their house and when they enter the ballroom together.

Thank you 🤎

Hange is nearly convinced they're hallucinating. Imagining things that aren't real, cannot be real. Projecting their own desires and confusing them with reality.

That's the only logical conclusion they come to, well - one of two only logical conclusions. The second one... Hange doesn't want to even think about it. It makes them feel uncomfortable, like all their insides are sticky and they're about to puke.

But Levi, the star of the school's football team and the most gorgeous boy Hange has ever laid their eyes upon, would never do that, would he? Despite his status and reputation, he's not like all the other popular kids from their school, those who make a hobby out of mocking Hange. Sure, he only exclusively addresses them as four-eyes, but that- appears nearly affectionate, compared to the nicknames that Hange receives from other students.

Levi may seem scary, what with all his scowling and nearly constant brooding, but, underneath it all - he's kind. At least, that's how Hange thinks of him. And they have enough proof of that - like that time, when Levi helped them carry all their books from the library or that one time, when he stepped in for them, when a couple of girls were making fun of them (sure they could have defended themself just fine, but- Levi’s deed was nothing if admirable, and- Hange was growing sick of spending most of their afternoons in the detention).

But what if all these incidents were just an accident? What if Levi is not as kind as he appears? What if their crush on him tinted their vision and turned them to reality?

What if what Levi just said to them wasn't a hallucination, nor a projection, and Hange did hear everything correctly? What if Levi saw right through them, took note of their very obvious crush on him and decided to pull a cruel joke on them?

Hange doesn't know what they'd do if that turns out to be true. They can't even figure out how they feel about it - are they ashamed, angry or just hurt?

Perhaps, for the first time in their life, Hange can't find their voice. Words escape them, all rational thoughts scattering from their mind. So they say nothing, do nothing, and just stare at Levi, hoping that he - in a true hallucination fashion - would vanish before their eyes.

But he does not.

He stares back at Hange, his eyes slightly narrowed, as though he tries to find some sort of an answer on their face. A bit passes, then two, then- when Hange is nearly ready to burst into hysterics - Levi sighs and reaches for his backpack.

He stands up from the cozy spot under a tree that Hange usually spends their lunch breaks at, and turns his head sideways with what Hange would assume was shame, if they weren't so bewildered by the whole ordeal.

"Sorry," he murmurs, so softly that Hange almost misses it. "For taking up your time, and... you know."

No. Hange does not, in fact, know. So, just as Levi turns away, they reach out to him and grab him by the end of his sleeve.

"Wait!" they exclaim, surprised at how breathless their own voice sounds. They weren't running, they hardly even moved, then why their heart beats so fast? And why does it feel like all air was sucked out of their lungs? Hange doesn't bother pondering on it, they have a far more pressing matter, because it seems - they feel - like the impossible conclusion was actually the correct one. "You really mean it?" they ask Levi. "This whole... prom thing?"

Levi gives them a look - the one they know all too well, the one that makes him look like a ferocious cat and never fails in making Hange smile. "What, you thought I was joking?"

"Well..." Hange trails off, trying very hard to stop themself from bursting into a fit of nervous laughter. They fail spectacularly at that, however, and start snickering into the palm of their hand. Levi's scowl, they note from the corner of their eyes, grows more pronounced as they do so. "I did actually think that."

Levi clicks his tongue that quite effectively diverts Hange's attention from the blush that begins to rapidly spread across his face. "Either you're an idiot, four-eyes, or you think I'm a complete jerk."

Hange decides to not dignify that with a reply - they do not consider themself to be an idiot, quite the opposite actually, but at the same time - they do feel a bit stupid for thinking so lowly of Levi.

"Well, since you mean it," they say, giving Levi their most charming smile. "And, apparently, have been rejected so many times that I'm your last chance, I guess... I can take pity on you."

"Wow," Levi deadpans. "You're generous, four-eyes. And also- wrong."

"Huh?" Hange tilts their head to the side, frowning. "How so?"

"You aren't my last chance. You-" Levi does it again - turns away, hiding his face from them. "You are my first choice."

Oh.

Hange's heart reacts funnily to a quiet confession - it misses a single beat, then starts hummering in their chest. Warmth spreads throught their body, and they absentmindedly wonder - is that the feeling of the famed butterflies they're experiencing right now?

The romance books they've skipped through out of boredom a couple of times didn't lie then. It is spectacular.

Does Levi feel the same? Is it why he asked them out? Does Hange- make him feel as giddy?

It's the only logical conclusion they come to, and so, Hange smiles - widely, joyfully.

They stand up, shorten distance between themself and Levi and put a hand onto his shoulder. They catch the baffled look on his face, before he once again tries to turn away.

Hange doesn't let him, though, not until they plant a kiss onto his cheek.

Levi makes a sound then - something between a sigh and a gasp, and with utter fascination Hange watches how desperately he tries to appear unaffected. He furrows his eyebrows, he gives them his famous dark look, but all his efforts go in vain, as his cheeks begin to rapidly gain color.

Hange's pretty sure it's the most adorable thing they've seen in their entire life.

"I'll be looking forward to our date!" they say, a bit cheekily. The most popular boy of their school has asked them out, after all. They have every right to feel a bit arrogant.

They reach out to Levi's hair, and - shocked that he hasn't pushed them away right away - grow bold enough to ruffle it. 

Huh. 

His hair is as soft and pleasant to the touch as Hange always imagined it to be.

Briefly, they wonder what else Levi would allow them to do - would he let them go for a hug? But they dismiss that thought immediately, it's not the time to push on the boy's boundaries, not yet.

They'll have plenty of opportunities during prom night. 

So, they simply squeeze his arm this time, and move to walk past him. They don’t get far enough, before they hear a quiet, impossibly soft, “I’ll be looking forward to it too.” 

And just like that - the butterflies return. And with one last glance at Levi, Hange knows - it's not the last time that they experience that feeling.

#levihan #fun fact! this was in my drafts for like..... weeks? i wanted to write a follow up but then...... i forgot...

[barbwritesstuff]

Sort of teary eyed by the update. First of all, I'm happy for you!!! 🎉 I'm so glad and I hope even more people buy BM and your other projects down the line. You and many others are doing things that I love seeing in this world, and I think we need more weirdness and found family in these trying times.

I consider myself a failed writer, not that I ever submitted anything, but my own insecurities and struggles with mental health have held me back from going full in... So I'm living vicariously through y'all and I'm cheering you from the sidelines~

📢💕💖🫶

I'm just going to write how I'm feeling right now and hope it makes sense.

We're human. We evolved this big, lumpy brain so we can inject as much weirdness, fun, and wonder into our lives as possible. I try very hard to do it with my writing and I'm so glad when I hear that someone found joy in what I created. That is, ultimately, why I do it. To connect with other people.

As a culture, we tend to be really obsessed with a very particular kind of success. In writing land, that is usually the 20-something year old author who makes hundreds of thousands on their debut novel and never looks back. But, there are many ways to be 'successful' as a writer. If you want to write again, you don't have to be like those unicorns to be successful.

I'm building my writing portfolio brick by brick, and I'm very much not expecting a breakout hit. I'm happy that more people are finding my writing than ever before, and hope that one day I can make enough to do it full time, but that's my only real goal. You can set any goals, and those goals can shift and change as they need to... which means you don't need to consider yourself a failure just because you're not a big, famous writer. The fact that you wrote is enough to make you a success, even if you never write again.

Thanks so much for sending this message, anon. And thank you for your support. It really means a lot. 💙

[idlerin]

nonsense — bonus: unsent letter #1

[n/n],

i know i don’t deserve to call you that anymore, but it’s one of the only things i can keep doing to feel as if i was still close to you. as if you were still my [n/n], my [name].

i don’t deserve you. i know and it’s pathetic, it’s all my fault. i don’t deserve the time, the effort and the love you gave me. it’s cowardly, the way i’m writing a letter that you would never be able to read anyways. again, i am a coward, and an asshole, and a jerk and admitting all that will not make my mistakes any lighter.

i thought of you today again— while i was in a meeting with these directors and producers and it was all so surreal working on bigger projects that i couldn’t help but think about that time when we drove off to that picnic grove when you held my hand and you said one day i would get everything that i ever dreamed of because i was one of “those people” and that it was only natural, and i only laughed and kissed your cheek because at that time you looked so irrationally cute and i was convinced you’d be here to see these goals of mine come true, but now, without you to celebrate these things with me made me feel kind of empty inside haha.

i remembered that you told me that day too that you would love to receive handwritten letters since you watched it in historical romance movies and thought that it was sweet and romantic for someone to do. i regret only doing it when i can’t give it to you anymore without worrying about crossing boundaries.

boundaries i caused myself. i really am very selfish, and you should be with someone who is less selfish that would be better for you than i could ever be and yet if i had the chance or choice for you to not enter my life in the first place i would and could never choose to do so cause i would never i could never ever stay away from you.

ironic as how that’s what i’m trying to do now, but if i was really staying away then you wouldn’t be on my mind all the time.

cause if time would turn back to before we met but i could still recall all the things that happen in the future. before you started tutoring takeru, before you had the courage to give me your gift, before you approached me.

i would seek you out first, and i’d try to make things better that time around.

i’d try to make myself better for you.

but it’s too late for that now.

i miss you

i love you

i miss you

yours, truly

tooru

series masterlist | chapter one

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — the demons prevailed also bOO make things better THIS time around boi ! (he does but wtv tbf hes very sad this was like uhm a month after he moved) also i uhm forgot which chapter i mentioned that oikawa wrote her letters but i wrote it on the fun facts lol

anyways lets all sing 🎵 the letter i received from u 2 weeks ago i noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase, it changed the meaning 🎶

#haikyuu #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smau #hq x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #hq #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x you #haikyuu angst #— nonsense. #hes so down bad #yk theyre like the trope when u think u love ur so more than they love u but its like the ither way around #s/o* #other*

[rizzraa]

ᯓ★ Jams and Jellies

Chapter 1: Once More to See You

Hello everyone! My name is rizzraa and it's my first time ever posting fanfiction. It's been a while since I wrote an actual story, and even then I still don't think I'm the greatest writer. If you could be patient with me, I'd appreciate that. I don't mind constructive criticism, in fact I welcome it lol. I'm not sure how long this series will last, I just wrote one day because my brain couldn't handle all this yearning and daydreaming of Joel Miller. I didn't even watch the show, it's the tlou community that got ahold of me 😭

So please bear with me and have fun with me :33

Tags: mainly fluff, friends to lovers, post outbreak, yearning and burning, slight age gap (reader is in 30s, Joel is in early 50s), reader insert, mentions of y/n, cute nicknames, overall just an imaginary scenario in my head, shy n awkward Joel, Joel x f!reader, I can't think of anything else for this chapter

Summary:

You are an eccentric and lovely art teacher, trying to foster creativity in youth and elders alike in Jackson. One student seems to have that same artistic flair as you, and it naturally draws you closer to her. Her father notices this and wants you to get closer to him as well.

chap 2

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

You stare at the ceiling as the sun's rays stubbornly peers through the slits of your curtains. You can tell that the sun is starting to rise by how bright the light gets each second. I wonder what I should do today. How can I get them to be more...just more?? It's hard trying to get teenagers to engage with school, but it's straight up embarrassing trying to beg for their attention. You have a lot of energy, you are passionate for the arts, but it seems like that's the last thing the kids are thinking about. Well, they are teenagers. But even then, I still was fond of the arts. It's not THAT boring??? It's fun....? You sighed, getting up from your bed and preparing for the day. You decided that today is the day they will start to appreciate the artistry of the world, because today you will get through to them. With this newfound optimism, you scurry off to the bathroom after realizing your bladder is about to burst.

==========

"Okay kids, today is the start of a new day! Today..we will start a new project!" You announced brightly. Since the start of the school year, you allowed the kids to slack off as a way to destress, but you realize you should be doing more to help them cope with the realities of the outbreak. And they weren't exacrly respecting your quaint classroom.

"Aw come on Miss, why are you springing this on us all of a sudden?"

"Yeah, we already got projects from other classes.."

You inhaled sharply, trying to keep your composure. "Alright listen kids, this class is supposed to allow you wind down and relax, but the way you're supposed to do that in here is through art. It's not just some hangout, it's still a classroom." You paused, looking around at the indifferent kids. "Please guys, trust me when I say this-- art is such a unique and magnificent way to express yourself. It doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to be you."

You looked around, trying to see if you got through to the kids. Your pleading eyes landed on one girl. Ellie Miller, you thought. She gave you a small, reassuring smile. I understand you, her eyes said. You smiled back, thankful you got through one kid.

You clapped your hands, "All right, here's the project: Each of you will create a portfolio of 5 different pieces of art that represents you. You are allowed to use different media. I expect each piece to have a small paragraph explaining what it is and what your art process was." Your eyes examined the room; some kids looked interested, while others looked annoyed. You continued, "This project is due on June 1st. You will present your project. And..." You paused, waiting for dramatic effect, "I will personally select the most unique and interesting pieces to be displayed at the End-of-the-School-Year Party!" Murmurs and exciting chatter spread across like wildfire, and you mentally patted yourself on the back. "Yes, that's right, children, so you better impress me. Allow yourselves to think boldly, go above and beyond!" You giggled.

"...What if we don't have that much creativity?" One kid shyly asked. Dina, you remembered.

"Well you can come on by anytime, I'm always in this classroom until 5pm! And feel free to bother me at any point outside of class!" You replied.

She gave a quick smile, and you clocked the way Ellie peeked at her from the corner of her eyes. You were always observant of others.

"Alright everyone, get to brainstorming!" The muffled chatter and shuffling grew louder, "Feel free to ask any questions!" Hearing yourself being drowned out by the noise, you decide to stop talking.

Heh, they're finally getting it, you thought smugly. You strolled back to your desk with a noticeable pep in each step.

===========

You looked at the clock, 6:30pm it read. God, has it really been that long? You scan through today's events after you announced the project. Kids moving and talking wildly-- you practically had to kick them out of your door to get to their next class. You sighed, packing up your things and leaving the classroom. I should pick up some groceries, I don't think I have much left in the fridge. You scurried to the nearest market, tugging and pulling at your way-too-heavy bag. You roam through each aisle, getting some fruits, staring at the mouth-watering jams, before hearing a familiar voice cut through your thoughts.

"---Aw, cmon Joel. Just for a quick minute."

"No. We can't risk it."

"But---!"

"Tut-tut--- it's only been getting more dangerous out there kiddo. I'm sorry, but I won't risk it"

You shuffled the jars around and made eye contact with Ellie.

"Uh...hi again" You said nervously. Your eyes flitting from Ellie to the man she was talking to.

Your breath stutters as you finally lay eyes on the dark, brooding man standing besides Ellie. His flannel didn't mask his obnoxiously broad shoulders, in fact it framed him even better. It also didn't help that it was painfully obvious that Joel was bending down to meet your eyes through the aisle shelves, his collarbone peeking through and his eyes getting narrower. But what really drawn you to him was his gorgeous face. His smoldering, deep brown eyes staring back at you, trying to figure you out. But that didn't scare you in the slightest. His perfect wrinkles showing slightly due to his frustration only made you more attracted to this finely drawn man. His pursued lips were sitting on his face and that drew attention to the graying streaks in his mustache and beard. In fact, you started noticing the beautiful strikes of silver across each hair on his head and face. The longer you stared, the more flustered the man got. Eventually he turned away from your gaze, locking eyes with Ellie, who you completely forgot was standing there.

"Oh- I, uh- I'm sorry, it's just- I don't see you around.. um anyways.. I'm [y/n].." You embarrassingly stuttered. God, could you get any more awkward than this??? Pull yourself together, he's just a man!

"Oh well, s'nice to meet ya, Miss. I'm Joel." He nodded. You gave a quick smile and turned your attention back to Ellie, ignoring the feeling that Joel might also be staring at you a little too long. "Everything okay, Ellie? Are there any issues with the project?" You cooly asked.

"Actually, yes-- Joel won't let me venture past the gates, even if he was my chaperone."

"Well, I mean, there IS an ongoing epidemic of infectious monsters.."

"Yeah, well it's nothing I can't handle." She rolled her eyes

"What was that?" You asked quizzically

Her and Joel exchange quick glances, "Nevermind" she said, turning back to face you.

"I.. okay well, I have a garden in my backyard if you want some nature-like inspiration!" You said with enthusiasm and made jazz hands, earning a chuckle from Ellie and a slight smile from Joel. You feel odd pride and a little swell in your heart, and decide to ignore it for now.

"Yeah okay, think I can stop by this weekend?" Ellie asked

"Yeah of course honey, like I said; bother me anytime."

"She'll take you up on that offer, for sure." Joel chuckled. You looked at him adoringly, then said "If it's Ellie, it's no bother." You shot him a terrific smile that caused him to glance slightly away, and you were suddenly aware of how red he became.

"Alright--" Ellie cut in, "we're not gonna keep you any longer, teach. See ya soon!"

"Bye Ellie, bye Joel." You waved at them

You stare at the jams you pushed aside, smiling like the giddy teenage girl you once were. How far away that seemed now, after everything that happened. You snapped out of it, feeling that pain in your chest creep back up. You looked gingerly at the jams you pushed away, remembering the artistic strokes and lines of Joel's face. Oh how strong and sharp he looked. You giggled as you remembered his red face, his curled lips, his exposed collarbone, his broad shoulders. This time you didn't snap out of your sudden trance, your face getting redder at each thought you had of Joel.

Oh God, is all you can say.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

Thanks for reading! Please feel free to share your thoughts or ideas, I welcome it all! Have a wonderful day :DD

#joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #yearning #just writing my fantasies #being a girl #the last of us fanfiction #Spotify

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Weekly Tag Wednesday!

Thanks for much for tagging me @jrooc @energievie @darlingian @spookygingerr @transmurderbug @mickeym4ndy @iansw0rld <3!!!

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

First Pet? two lovely brindle boxers named chase and lucy that my parents had when i was born. fun fact! they were talking about kids as vague future plans when they got the dogs and my dad mentioned lucy as a nice girls name and my mom haaaated it so when they got the dogs she was like :) shes such a lucy :) to take the name off the table for kids in the future hahah before you ask yes they are divorced now

First Word? no idea! probably the normal stuff, I was a quiet baby but i started talking very early and would not shut the fuck up certified yapper since birth

First Celebrity Crush? Benny from the sandlot movie, iykyk

First IRL Crush? a boy named elliot w very nice curly hair

First kiss? one of my childhood friends emma

First Car? an incredibly shitty grey boxy volvo named nico from the 90's i got for very cheap on craigslist and ran into the ground rip

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? i lived in a dorm for most of college, my freshman year roommate was not fun to live with but luckily first year of architecture school is beyond brutal and i slept (or didnt) in the studio most nights

First time on a plane? when i was an itty bitty baby and my family moved halfway across the ocean

First cellphone? one of those ones that slid to the side to reveal a keyboard. high key miss it

First concert? natalie merchant as a literal fucking newborn what were they thinking

First Foreign country you visited? canada technically. I visited Vancouver as a teenager and was like i want to live here! turns out i did not want to live in vancouver it was just the first city i visited and i love cities. outside of north america the first country I visited was india

First sport you ever played? soccer, since the biggest sport in the world is used to teach american children teamwork *basks in the sound of non-american boos*

First career aspiration? i wanted to be a writer! but coming to the realization that I lack the dedication and interest to actually get good enough to turn it into a career and thats okay was a huge personal development for me

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow" i think there have been a lot of things over the years, but the biggest thing was probably my thesis project, just the scale and volume of work you can produce in a year of nonstop really concentrated and theoretical work is impressive no matter who you are

tagging @mybrainismelted @blue-disco-lights @krysmiss @doshiart @samantitheos @mickeysgaymom @metalheadmickey @mmmichyyy

#sgt says #tag game

[rocketturtle4]

Only Friends, a possible take on Mews feelings

(…wasn’t going to post this week because I’m still shadowbanned but here we are) EDIT: No longer shadowbanned here's a post about how I frame aceness and talking about it in BL if anyone is curious.

So I have seen a lot of confusion and different takes on Mew this week which is lots of fun and my favourite so far has been this one by @slayerkitty (If I had in fact read that one before writing most of this I probably wouldn't have bothered BUT I already wrote it and the brain rot is real sooooo....)

First and foremost I want to note that Mew has come across so far to me as rather Demiromantic & Demisexual, (which, as its my own orientation, is definitely going to involve some projecting). I do not necessarily think this IS his orientation but that's the lens this post is going to take.

(Small sidenote I wrote a long post about Aceness in BL and how I’ve related to it and seen it depicted a little while after Be My Fav ended, that I WISH I COULD REFER TO however I am waiting for the shadowbanning to end before posting it so I can interact with people. I am frustrated by this.)

We have been told reasonably clearly that Mew has never had strong sexual or romantic feelings for a person before Top and I do think this goes a long way towards understanding his actions so far.

Evidence:

He is not really seen checking out/flirting with anyone (other than Top) at any point (and in THIS show, I count this as evidence because we have seen ALL the other main characters check out people on the regular, this show is doing a good job of showcasing casual sexual attraction as a part of the day to day and Mew is not showing signs of this.)

Mew explicitly mentions that he has never clicked with anyone before, ergo he’s never really been attracted to anyone before.

Mew tells Ray that Top is the first one to make his heart flutter.

Mew seems somewhat disconnected from his friends experience with sex and attraction.

In some ways Mew even seems disconnected from his OWN sexual and romantic attraction

Do I think this means he’s definitely doubleDemi: Nope

Why this matters for my take: If Mew has never experienced attraction before, or never experienced it strongly before, then delving into his feelings might feel a lot more daunting than people might think. Because it’s not about this being his first sexual encounter/romantic relationship, its about this being the first time he has ever felt these emotions.

My take on Mew and Top

Re: Mews Virginity. Boston was the first person to tell Top that Mew was a virgin, later, in the counter scene, when Mew stops things he says ‘I’m not ready’ and then ‘I’ve never done it’. This does not imply to me that he has no experience, just that those experiences likely haven’t involved his genitals (we'll see if I eat my words next week).

Okay Ep 1 (I am going mostly off memory)

We see from the beginning that Mew is less connected into the bar scene than his friends, he’s introduced as the tablekeeper and is the one collecting people to leave once he’s had enough. He is also put forth as the one most academically inclined which often implies a sense of responsibility (while the bar scene does the opposite.)

Top, our Top Tier, (brought in by Boston so Boston could turn their fun in the phone booth into another encounter,) is intrigued by Mew for being so different from what he typically encounters at the bar scene and is successful in getting Mew to take him home.

Now, WHY did Mew agree if he is not yet particularly attracted to Top you ask? (I ask, same dif)

Curiosity

Do you know what its like for all the people around you to talk about Sex and just...not get it? To stare around at people eyeing each other up and down and feel…nothing? And I mean it’s not like Mew is celibate for other reasons…he’s just… not interested.

He’s also what 22? And Horny? (Because as a reminder Ace people still have a libido and some of them want to have sex, aceness is explicitly about lacking attraction to an individual)

So he takes Top home and then things get started and he realizes hey, no, what, I’m not sure about this.

And he stops things.

Because while he is experiencing lust from the situation, he’s not really comfortable in his attraction.

“I just feel like I don’t know you well enough.”

That is not just a line, that is an explicit feeling that I have felt. It wells up inside and squirms into every part of you. I can’t do this, I don’t know you well enough.

But it’s also VERY MUCH about both fear and control. I agreed with a lot of posts in the first few weeks about Mews desire to remain in control, but to me this is strongly linked to his possible sexuality. He is USED to feeling in control because he hasn’t experienced strong attraction before. He doesn’t know what it’s like to stare at someone and lust after them, or even what its like to dream about falling asleep in their arms.

These are brand new emotions, big, scary, new, emotions and they are probably making him feel rather OUT of control and so all the distance we see from Top, and even from himself, is him attempting to stay regulated.

He even seems aware of this in his disclaimer that if he were to go all in on his feelings, he would be a crazy stalker, because those brand-new feelings are unlike anything he has felt before. (I remember the first time I experienced it I could only liken it to extreme anger or fear, or the highest excitement, it was just so much stronger than I’d imagined)

Additional Note Re: @plantsarepeopletoo

Another part of this, which Paprika put forth and I agree with, is that Mew might be scared of his emotions because he's afraid of hurting others. He's the table keeper, the even keel, the calm one, he keeps everyone's stuff safe and makes sure everyone gets home. (And he fails at this once he starts paying attention to Top...). (But I'll get to Ray)

Let’s fast track a bit

We have a cute montage of the getting to know you, they eat ice cream, they go to the library, Top helps out with the project. The getting to know you is going well and Mew is absolutely feeling things.

And then Top jumps the gun a bit because he is still trying to fast track to the good stuff and Mew says yes to save his face.

In Ep 2

We have Mew confessing to Ray that Top makes his heart flutter (the first time this has ever happened). We see Mew starting to test his own boundaries and feelings, but FIRST we get him asking Top to backtrack a bit because he’s been moving too fast, and he only said yes because Top asked him in public.

After that boundary is back up we get Mew teasing and testing and feeling out how things stand.

What can he do that lets him explore things without them progressing too far?

If he does x what does Top assume he wants?

Because Mew has NO IDEA where Tops boundaries are, Mew’s not ready for sex, I imagine that if he could be sure that making out with Top would stop at making out he might have tried it by now, but their first make out escalated rather quickly so he is being careful. (as @slayerkitty puts it he doesn't trust Top yet) but I also posit that he may not trust himself yet.

He doesn’t allow the bed sharing, but he does later allow the cuddling. Why? Because the couch cuddle is after increased emotional vulnerability, it’s helping Mew see that Top is moving with him. It builds trust. It builds connection. It builds emotion (it builds demi stability...)

Ep 3

Not a WHOLE lot happened in Ep 3, we were very Mark and Boston focused but here’s what I got:

Mew is getting more comfortable with his feelings for Top, and he’s trying to move them towards being on the same page (I read some excellent takes on the disco scene and the disconnect between their clothing in both that scene and the later one)

He’s stopped correcting people when they say Top is his boyfriend, including Top, that was the main change we saw this Ep for the record. Mew has already made it clear that the label is important to him, and this suggests to me he is growing increasingly comfortable with the relationship.

Top is also the first one Mew calls later on. He's go to number 1.

The PROBLEM with EP 3 is 1 Boston is getting in Top’s head and 2 Mew has NOT BEEN COMMUNICATING. (Because he doesn't trust...)

Mew has been testing out his feelings and playing with his boundaries because he has genuine feelings for Top but he hasn’t TOLD Top this (he also hasn’t told us this so I could be totally wrong but - projecting) and so even though Mew is nearly ready to move things forward (next eps teaser), all Top knows is his own sexual frustration and Boston’s half truths so… it’s about to get ugly up in here.

Any Questions? (I can’t answer them but ask away lol)

My take on Mew and Ray

Real quick my projections

Mew and Ray’s moment from 2 years ago was probably Ray kissing Mew for a bit, Mew letting it happen (again curiosity) but stopping before things got any further.

OR Ray confessing his feelings, Mew inviting the kiss (because again, he has had no attraction before and was curious) but realizing after a bit he felt nothing and stopping it.

Mew stopping Top in ep 1 before he got the pants off makes me think the pants have never come off for Mew before.

What this means IMO

Mew is aware of Ray’s feelings because of the two years ago incident

They presumably 1 talked about it and agreed to stay friends

Or 2 silently agreed to never acknowledge it again because the feelings weren’t reciprocal and they wanted to stay friends.

This tracks for me in the way Mew seems to keep a bit of distance from Ray but still wants to be there for him, but also emphasises ‘friends’ in their ep 2 hug/chat.

Also the way Mew seems excited by Ray’s interest in Sand.

I don’t think Mew is intentionally hurting Ray, more that they both agreed to ignore it since so long ago that it’s part of the background noise at this stage.

ALSO

I honestly also think that Mew and Ray are the closest two of the friend group (I have speculated that maybe Mew was there for Ray when his mom died). (AGAIN @slayerkitty explains this well, like, their take on the friend group felt nearly plucked out of my brain). My guess is that the incident 2 years ago left them a bit more distant. However, Mew had no way of knowing Ray was with Sand (I don’t buy the encouraged him means Mew knows they’re hooking up. ‘Make sure you talk to him’ is not the same as 'take him home and do him', especially in Mew’s book)

After Top who else was Mew going to call? Boston? BOSTON?? Or Cheum?, who Mew knows came to the party with her girlfriend. (Also gender rolls and the societal appropriateness of sleeping over at a girls house lesbian or not).

Yeah, Ray is the most sensible second choice.

(My fav take on the car scene so far, Ray & Sand Perspective: here @idleorbitals)

Thoughts?

#ofts #only friends the series #only friends #only friends meta #onlyft #rturts is wondering #roc goes haywire over only friends

[writingseaslugs]

Pomefiore: Reader Who's Scared of Storms

I really had fun writing Rook's part; I'm not going to lie; I simp hardcore for the man.

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post.

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore (You're Here) | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

Reader Who’s Scared of Storms

Vil Schoenheit

Vil discovers this small fact when he has to film a movie scene, and it calls for a storm. He invites you to it, and he realizes when you find out exactly what was going on and how you refused. He’s going to calmly ask if you are scared of storms, and once he gets confirmation, he’ll make a mental note to not ask that of you. He’ll even offer to be with you whenever there’s a storm if you call for him and keep that in mind.

Everyone has fears, and he won’t ever make you feel bad for this one. He’ll also offer up a spa day to keep you distracted from the storm raging on outside. He’ll be doing facials and running a warm bath to soak in with some essential oils in there and soothing candles. He just makes the atmosphere very calming, talks to you about his latest projects, and encourages you to tell him about things going on in your life.

Vil keeps his phone off at night so he doesn’t get woken up, so he’ll, of course, be making sure to keep track of storms. You’ll be coming over to his dorms, though, since he refuses to stay at Ramshackle again. The smells of an oil diffuser will be in the air, and he’ll offer you some specially made tea that helps aid sleep. Once you’re basically dozing off, he’ll take you over to the bed and lay down with you, arms around you, and tell you that you’re rather cute when you’re all sedated like this.

Rook Hunt

Rook knew from the moment the first storm of the year hit, and he noticed you off in the distance. He still hadn’t approached you for conversation back then, but he did store it in his mental database. Once you two are familiar with one another and there’s a storm, he’ll inform you and offer for you to stay at Pomefiore during it. If you’re confused, he’ll retell the amazing tale of how he noticed you one fateful day as you screamed like a banshee when a bolt of lightning hit too close and how you dropped all you were carrying and ran to the nearest building without gathering it up. It now made sense to you why all your stuff was sitting at your next-period class that day.

Rook finds this absolutely adorable and isn’t afraid to tell you how cute you look when you’re all jumpy and scared. He tells you how you remind him of a small rabbit right now, ready to bolt at the sound of a branch breaking. Of course, he’ll be grabbing you to hang out with him away from all the noise and maybe telling you some poems he has written as of late. Some of them are comically bad, and he knows it, even looking over to see if you were willing to laugh or try to be polite and encouraging. It’s fine to laugh; he wrote them so you would laugh after all.

He’s your personal storm radar, being able to tell one is brewing the morning of. When you hear a knock at your window and see him there, waiting to be let in, you know shit is about to go down. He is holding a lovely-looking novel, though, and will be reading you to sleep while playing with your hand or anything else he can touch respectfully. If you have hair long enough for him to play with, you bet he’s twirling it around his finger as he watches you slowly grow more drowsy.

Epel Felmier

Epel is pretty oblivious as you two are working on some potions homework. The storm had barely begun, and he hadn’t heard the thunder or seen the lightning. He was far too used to storms rolling around, so he didn’t think anything of it. Until he looked over to ask you a question and saw how frightened you looked. At this point, he still hadn't noticed the storm and will be asking what’s going on, and once you explain, it clicks. He doesn’t understand the fear, but he knows he dislikes seeing you like this.

He’ll reassure you that there’s nothing to fear, and he’ll stay with you until it blows over. If you want, you guys can continue working on your homework, and anytime there’s a crack of thunder, he’ll place his hand over your thigh and tell you it’s alright. If you need something more distracting, then he’ll grab an apple and offer to show you easy carvings to keep your attention elsewhere. He’s a pretty good teacher too, and before you know it, the storm has subsided, and you’ve picked up a new skill.

He enjoys staying up late, no matter what Vil says, so it’s no surprise when he’s still awake to see your message. He has to sneak out of the dorm to head over, but when he does, he has a cold bottle of apple juice and some headphones for you. He’ll sit and talk with you until you’re growing tired enough to fall asleep. Then he’ll curl up with you in bed and run his hand over your thigh as he waits for you to sleep, admiring you as you finally doze off.

#Twisted Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #TWST #TWST x Reader #TWST Wonderland #Twisted Wonderland Disney #TWST Disney #Vil Schoenheit #Vil Schoenheit x Reader #Vil x Reader #Rook Hunt #Rook Hunt x Reader #Rook x Reader #Epel Felmier #Epel Felmier x Reader #Epel x Reader

[sleepdeprivedsimp101]

Optimus Prime X FM Reader (One Shot)

"How Is He Falling For Her?"

-So, most people that know me, know that I'm obsessed with transformers and Optimus. I wrote this 13 long page one shot of the Optimus from TFP (Transformers Prime). And I was kinda talked into posting it ...SOOOOO... We're here now 😅. This has no specific plot but I just wanted my brain to feel pretty after writing this.

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault themes, fluff, and a little bit of spicy stuff at the end.

Word count: 3,619

Song Inspiration:

-Isabel LaRosa - I'm yours

-(Sped Up Version)

Optimus to others is seen as a prime, a leader, a bot with a kind spark, and at some points even cold. He doesn’t mean to be mean, he just probably doesn’t know how to have fun. Or perhaps even relax. While Optimus is seen in such a way, (y/n) knows deep down how he truly feels about his team. She has always grown some type of connection with Prime. The more time that they spend with each other, the more Optimus starts to feel things. Feelings that aren’t familiar to him, but at the same time, intoxicating. Even when you do the littlest things, he can’t help but look. When you talk about your passions, when you laugh, say an idea that helps out missions, the way how you encourage others to do their best…

The way how you look into his optics makes him feel like time has stopped, and only for you two.

…

When your (H/C) hair shines in the sun when the sunrise comes up and makes your eyes turn into a hazel color shimmer.

Literally, everything about you makes every fiber in his metal body, melt and crumble away, he is torn by your beauty and the fact that you were human. He was only an Autobot, nothing could ever happen.

Until one night you went to ask Optimus for a favor, which he quickly approved of. It makes Optimus happy because he always wants to spend as much time with you as possible.

However the request was rather odd, you asked him if he could give you a ride with one other person because they asked you out on a date to the movie theaters. You didn’t want to go but you also didn’t know how to say ‘no’. You couldn’t ask any of your others friends because they would only say just go by yourself.

Optimus is still rather confused about the term “Date”.

“(Y/N), I'm afraid your human terms are still rather confusing. Can you please educate me on this term?”

“Well, for humans when two people seem very interested in each other or are just really close friends, and want to spend more time together just one on one, they go out together to do something fun and usually romantic.”

Optimus understood a little bit more.

“Interesting, but this “Cody” friend of yours from school, I think I recall that you didn’t like his company.”

It hit you at that moment that Optimus must have overheard you complain about Cody to the others and the bots, about how he’s really cool to hang with as a friend but sometimes tries to flirt with you and it makes you icky on the inside.

“Yes, but I just need to be able to deal with him for the rest of the week that way we can get along while we finish this last project for my college class.”

“I need you, Optimus, I need like a third wheel in case something goes wrong.”

Optimus now looks at you with the most love-sick optics after he heard that first line come out of your mouth.

He kneels down on the ground to get closer to you. With his face inches away from yours, he smiles.

“Don’t worry Lady (y/n), I will be there to accompany you and your ‘Date’.”

He says as he rolls his eyes at that last comment.

You laugh and feel some weight lift off your shoulders.

“Thank you thank you Thank you!”

As you said that, you get on your tippy toes to place a kiss on his metal cheek. And walk away without looking back at him.

“I promise I’ll make this up to you. See ya later.”

When you left the room, the prime was still in shock, he goes to touch the side where you kissed him, and starts to overheat a little.

“No need (y/n), you already have.”

He says to himself as he smiles in adoration. -Time skip-

It was finally time for your date with Cody but he texted you to let you know he still needed some more time to get ready so that meant you still had more time to yourself. But you were dreading it even more as every second passes by.

Optimus sees your discomfort, so he walks in front of your view.

“(y/n), are you alright? you seem uneasy.”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine, just a little nervous.”

He didn’t buy your strong act, he knew that you didn’t like this.

“Don’t worry, m’lady, I will be with you the entire time, you won’t be alone, plus I promised to protect you.”

Heat suddenly started to rise in your face, he just called you M’lady.

“Thank you Optimus, also where did you learn that word from?”

“What word?”

“M’lady, You’ve never called me that before.”

“Oh, well I did some research last night with Raph on how dates work, and this term was mentioned as a form of respect to the females and to make them seem like a goddess. Do you think it was wrong for me to say such?”

“OH of course not it's totally fine, I actually kinda find it sweet, nobody has ever really said that to me before. Probably because I’m not pretty enough.”

Optimus’s face contorts in a look of disbelief.

He chuckles.

“Oh, but on the contrary, I highly doubt that, I think you are extraordinarily, beautiful.”

He says as he gives you a smirk and looks you up and down.

This made you feel red in the face. You looked away from him to try to compose yourself.

“Ehem, thank you Optimus, I could say the same about you too.”

“Thank you, and since you like the name, maybe I should call you that more often.”

“Sure if ya want.”

“Very well, M’Lady.”

You think to your self god why did he have to make that sound so sexy?

Miko comes to walk in to see you off.

“Hey, guys are you almost ready for that date?”

Confused by her question.

“What do you mean Miko? I am ready.”

“Seriously you're going in that? No offense.”

“It’s just jeans and a sweater.”

“Yeah, I know but aren’t you supposed to wear dresses and stuff to dates?”

Oh, shoot she was right I was too focused on trying to be on Cody’s good side that I forgot to completely sell it.

“Good call Miko let me go get changed real quick.”

You run off to your dorm area in the base.

-Time skip to when you got done getting dressed.-

You only just popped on a nice simple dress that you barely wear because it’s only for special occasions, it was one of your favorites tho, though it was a blue dress with flowers all over it and it had a little bit of fluff to add style and volume. You loved how easy it was to move in it. While looking at yourself in the mirror, you wondered what a certain someone who think or say if they saw you in this.

Finally, as you walk out. You go to call Optimus he was talking to ratchet at the time but when he turned around to look at you, you see his optics slightly get bigger as they scan your figure.

"Hey, what do you think?" You say as you twirl. And oh how he loved to see you do that in slow motion.

He feels like he could stare at you for hours. He smiles at you with a smile you would see rarely. The kind that makes you feel lovesick.

"Extraordinary" He whispers to himself

"What?"

He stumbles on his thoughts and words.

"You look, magnificent M'lady."

Now it was your turn to stumble on your words. You pulled your gaze away from Optimus and started to get light-headed. Does he really think I’m pretty enough to be called magnificent? How am I possibly going to make all this up to him?

As you overthink and contemplate your self Optimus can’t help but keep looking at you, he almost thought there was something missing, not that you needed any changes to your beautiful outfit but still, he wanted to try to help you in a certain sense.

“If you will excuse me for a moment I think I got something.”

“Um sure, I’ll be here.”

Optimus goes to walk to his bathroom to grab your flower crown that you gave to Optimus, as a thank you for saving your life. It did not fit him at all but he kept it safe and close to him because it meant a lot. Once he retrieved it he went back to meet with you and saw that you were on the phone with someone while looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure everything was okay.

“Alright Cody, we’ll… I mean I’ll see ya soon, bye.”

“-Okay bye sugar-” You hang up and look in the mirror again fixing your hair a bit.

“Do you think I should put my hair up?”

Optimus smiles and walks over to you and kneels down behind you so that the both of you were looking in the mirror

“No, because there wouldn’t be any room for this."

You hum in confusion and then saw Optimus gently put the flower crown on your head, it fell over a little bit on one side but you fixed it.

“Haha awwww, you kept it this whole time?”

“Indeed it is very special to me.”

You turn to look at Optimus with the biggest grin on your face. And you can see how his gaze slowly softens at you as every second passes by. Unfortunately, the moment has to be ruined as Miko runs in saying that you guys were going to be late.

Breaking away from each other's gaze Optimus goes to transform into his vehicle mode, he opens his driver's side door for you to get in. When you got in you then guided Optimus in the direction of Cody's house. The closer you were getting to his place the more nervous and uncomfortable you were getting. Optimus broke you out of your thoughts when he spoke to ask you a question.

“(Y/N), from what I collected from the web there are usually two different types of movie theaters, one indoors and one outdoors. Which one are we going to?”

You thought to your self ‘dang he was fast to look that up.'

“We're going to an outdoor one, that's why we’re picking up Cody.”

Optimus hums to your response but it sounded like he was annoyed by that. “What?”

“Sorry what?”

You start to worry again and start to feel bad that you practically threw Optimus under the bus.

“Do you not like this idea you know if you don’t feel comfortable with him sitting in your seat then I can just-”

“No need, even if I feel some discomfort it doesn’t matter, because I made a promise to you, that I will stay with you the entire night. You matter more.”

You let out a breath of relief at his response. But feel conflicted to ask him a question again.

“Wait so if you're fine with him being in your seat then why did you hum like that earlier?”

“It's because I wasn’t fond of the idea of him getting to look at you the entire night while I would much rather do that.”

…..

Oh dear god, this bot is going to be the death of me.

“HAHA, Optimus are you getting jealous, that's so sweet.”

I had to laugh it off, I lowkey can feel my cheeks burning.

“Maybe I am.”

He said with a bit of a cocky tone in his voice.

Optimus’s Pov:

When we finally pull up to Cody’s house, (Y/N) got to go knock on his door. When he came out he had this stupid grin on his face and went to go hug her. I felt some rising anger in me because she looked like she didn’t like the physical contact. I really perform my arms around her.

When they got to my vehicle Cody tried to get in the front seat, but I locked my door before he could get the chance.

“Hey uhh, the door is locked did you leave the keys inside?”

“Uh no here let me check.”

Oh for the love of the primes let her drive.

“OHHH I’m sorry I forgot this truck only allows me to drive it because of fingerprints and voice activation, plus you don’t have a license to drive semi-trucks so I’ll just take us there,”

I can’t believe she just came up with that excuse for me, it's like she knew. I love this woman.

When she got into the driver's seat she placed her hands on the steering wheels and stepped on the peddle to start driving. There were some points where I was in control but at other points, she took care of me. The entire drive though Cody was actually on his phone, for the most part, he made small takes here and there. But when he would try to make a certain comment to (y/n) to try to impress her or get a reaction, she would fake laugh it off and grip tighter on my steering wheel. I could sense her hands her a little unsteady, so since I have heating sensors, I wormed up the steering wheel to let her know I was here and that it was okay. She relaxed a little bit and smiled to herself.

When getting to the drive-in movie theater and they get their ‘popcorn?’ a very odd name for a type of human substance. The movie that Cody picked was the notebook, it was one of those movie nights where humans go to watch classic films on the big screen. (y/n) mention before actually, it was one of her favorite movies that make her cry every time. Once we parked into our parking spot (y/n) pulled out her blanket and put her knees up to her chest, something that she does on a daily when she feels like it or feels anxious.

While we were watching the movie I could sense that Cody was staring at (y/n) for a time longer than he should have. I could sense her sinking into my seat feeling a little uneasy about this.

“Are you enjoying the movie?” She asked.

“Not really it’s lowkey kinda boring.” He replies

“Oh well, I’m sorry.”

That little– He gets to spend at least 2 hours with her and you say something as inconsiderate as that. If it were me I would watch this movie a thousand times if it meant I got to sit next to her.

“You know I have a better idea.” He comments out of a sly evil tone.

(y/n) doesn’t look over but replies with a ‘what’.

“We could go someplace else and… try something new in our friendship.”

When he said that he reaches over to graze her arm with his disgusting hands.

She flinches away and gets ready to say something.

“You mean like mini golf hehe.”

She replies trying to shake off whatever he was applying.

“Not really, I was thinking something more, personal.”

Then when he started to move his hand to her thigh, that's when I snapped.

I made the seat that he was sitting in jolt up enough for him to get his hand off of her and hit his head.

“WHAT THE, WOAH”

I then opened my door and made the seat kick him out. Then when I did that I drove backward out of the parking spot and drove away from the perv.

“OPTIMUS! What was that? You could have blown your cover.”

“My dear, I will explain to you why I reacted in such a manner but wait until I drive to a more responsible area.”

“I-”

“Trust me, please.”

She takes a second. “Okay, I trust you.”

“Thank you.”

The drive there was quiet, I could sense that the shaking she had felt earlier had calmed down.

I pulled into an abandoned gas station that she and I tend to go to a lot because it was close to her house.

She steps out and I take a moment to transform into my bot form.

“Okay, let me hear it.” She says to me in a demanding stance with her arms crossed, I felt bad for making her unpleased but at the same time, I found her anger surprisingly attractive and intriguing. I’ve never really seen her like this, she usually always has a calm demeanor or a smile on her face.

“uh eh, me first, (y/n) does he do this to you often?”

“No that was just the one time, but he always tries something to get me to sleep with him.”

“I never want you to see or speak to that piece of scrap ever again. I swear if he touches you again I’ll-”

“Optimus, I’m okay I swear, I’ve dealt with thugs like him before and survived.” She states in a manner of cockiness but I know deep down that she hates the fact that she has to deal with such.

“No, it’s not fine (y/n), what if he seriously did something and I would never see you again?”

(Y/N) Pov

Oh, I see what this is about.

“You really care about me huh?”

“Yes, indeed I do.”

“Can you pick me up real quick?”

Optimus doesn’t question it so he does what you ask of him.

He holds you but you weren’t close enough.

“Comer.”

You say, and when he brought you closer, he lifted you near his ear because he thinks you want to tell him something.

But you don’t say anything, instead, you place a quick kiss on his cheek plate. He froze for a moment and goes to stare at you.

“What was that for?” He asks with a smile forming across his face.

“It's me saying thank you, thank you for always being there when I needed you, thank you for saving me. Why? Should I have not done that-”

Without a chance to say anything else. Optimus goes to put you back down, panic started to well up within you thinking you made a mistake. But your overthinking was interrupted when he spoke.

“I really shouldn’t be doing this because it takes too much of my Energon but.”

And then just like that Optimus transforms into his holo form but his solid one. Your eyes widen, you’ve seen his holo form before. His slick back hair with some white strands on the side, red leather jacket, combat boots, and joggers. One or two tiny scars on his face. One on his eyebrow the other just right on the tip of his upper lip. And his beautiful blue eyes that were staring right back at you. They were usually so calm but they looked intense this time, hungry…

Optimus walks up to you to close the distance between you two and goes to put one hand on your waist and the other on your cheek to hold your face. He looks at you with pleading eyes, then you nod your head for his consent. And he gently goes to kiss you patiently. But at the same time, it was rough and hungry, like he had been waiting all this time to be this close to you. But you felt the same feeling right back at him.

You break away with heavy breathing trying to form words and all you could get out was his name. His true name…

“Orion-”

“Shut up-*”

He huffs out and goes to close the distance again. He just couldn’t get enough. At this point, you guys were fighting for dominance, his hands Rome around your fragile frame as your Rome around his hair and his well-built chest.

What feels like minutes pass by you both start to calm down and pull away from each other. After catching your breaths, Optimus goes to look at you and lays his forehead on yours.

“Where did you learn that name from?”

“Ratchet told me, I think it's a very fitting name. But where did you learn to kiss like that or even know what kissing was?”

“I’ve been on this planet for a long time, and besides-” He starts to get close to your ear.

“A true prime never reveals his secrets.”

His distinctive voice and sly tone sent shivers down your whole body, when he backed away his face a little, you saw one of the most devilish smiles you’ve ever seen him make. It was hot.

You become even more flushed and go to bury your head into his chest, he chuckles and holds you tighter, and looks up at the stars.

“You’re very beautiful when your face turns red you know that?”

“Shut up.”

You laugh.

“Should we head back to base?”

You ask.

“Hmmm, perhaps we shall stay here a bit longer, I want to keep holding you.”

“But what about your Energon?”

“Hmmm”

“Okay 5 more minutes, okay?”

you reply in defeat.

“Good, that will also leave me time to kiss you more.”

You laugh out loud and try to pull away but Optimus still holds you in his grip smiling to himself trying to get close to your lips again.

You think to yourself after that night, what will become of you and Optimus’s relationship? Friends with benefits? Something more. But at the same time, you just don’t want to care or worry, you’re just finally feeling some form of happiness for the first time in a long time.

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