#function like a normal person?

[lovelovex]

Lmao I can only imagine what goes on in your inbox right now 🥲 let’s take a break and since there’s no way to send an ask to you on your new blog: JEFF’S NEW SONG HOW ARE WE FEELING ?

we’re right back in the obsession pit

#she said as if she ever left #another screen record saved w yet another seven seconds that stop the time for me every time i hear it #every person i talk to on a regular basis has heard the pre chorus part more than they ever asked to #my new alarm sound my ringtone if i could set it as my lock sound i would #when will he stop ruining my life w his lyrics it’s so so unfair he drops a song in the middle of the week and expects me to what #function like a normal person? #i couldnt sleep until i figured out how to put the translation of that part right there on my lockscreen #i had to download garage band of all things to set my own ringtone i havent made my own in like six years maybe #i dont use silent mode anymore if it takes me a while to answer your call just know i’m listening to That Part #hope this answers your question ❤️ #ask

[ispyspookymansion]

real people cant queerbait, sure, but celebrities often arent acting as real people, theyre selling you a persona and can intentionally mold that around queer audience engagement in some cases. and thats murky water but still undeniably wet. plus whatever misha collins did of course

#annoyed by a post where someone is highlighting the definition of queerbait like yeah your average normal person cannot queerbait #mx celebrity who exists as a product for public consumption is both fictional and invented and thus Can functionally queerbait in some ways #kora.txt

[lettucefather]

you really, truly did it

#did springbonnie by memory but i had to google how a fucking knife looks like #i'm a normal person a functional person #fnaf fanart #spring bonnie #springtrap #william afton #the original file was too big for tumblr :clueless: #lettuce art tag

[starcatching]

JIN 진 | THE ASTRONAUT 🚀 (2022) "I worked really hard on the music video for 'The Astronaut'. We filmed it in the US. It's about me from another planet wandering in space and making a crash landing on Earth. Now I have to go back to my home planet. It's a music video about the journey of an astronaut who decided to stay on Earth with loved ones and precious things."

#seokjin #bts #dailybts #btsedit #trackofthesoul #userbbelcher #blogmusicdaily #kpopco #kpopccc #btsgif #dailybangtan #purplearmynet #ultkpopnetwork #dailybg #seokjinedit #kim seokjin #the astronaut #myedit #and i'm expected to go to work and function like a normal person after this??? hELP

[ghouljams]

PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MORE KÖNIG WITH HIS LIL DEMON

I will always write more of König and Fetch.

König jolts in his chair, knees hitting the underside of his desk as your hands slide over his thighs. He looks down at you in a panic, your eyes glowing in the relative shadow of his desk, then across the wood at the Lieutenant standing at attention. The soldier's nerves and concern radiate off of him, eyes fixed to König as he tries to put his composure back together. KorTac runs a tight ship, König runs a tight ship, he can't have his men thinking he's got... women under his desk. Or one woman in particular. A very determined one who rubs her cheek against his knee and attempts to push closer.

"Dismissed Lieutenant." König tells the man.

"But Colonel, I haven't finished my-"

"Dismissed." König says more forcefully, the man straightens past perfect and nods before artfully scrambling out of the office. König sags back against his chair, drags a hand down his covered face. You are going to be the death of him.

"Fetch," he groans, exasperation coloring his tone, "What are you doing Schöne?"

"You seem tense." You nuzzle closer against his thigh, pulling yourself further from the shadows. König rests his elbow on the arm of his desk chair, his cheek against his knuckles as he stares you down. 

"I have been out of the field for," he takes a deep breath, rubs his eyes, "too long now." You hum, and fingers dragging up his thighs to his belt. "You will excuse me if I am-"

"Tense."

"Not entertaining you." König corrects. You pout, your fingers stilling. You don't need entertaining, that's just rude. You've been perfectly content sitting in König's shadow while he did all his silly busy work. You listened to all the stupid whining from the other KorTac operators, and watched your commanding officer give orders with an ever growing hunger. 

To say you were obsessed with the brutal efficiency with which König operated was an understatement. If you'd thought it was only his kills which had bought him a demonic companion you were witnessing first hand how incorrect an assumption that was. You've never seen a man command such degrees of respect and fear.

"Then let me entertain myself." König hums, eyes flicking to the door. You're getting better at reading him, but you can't tell if that's anxiety or amusement in his eyes.

"Lock the door, Fetch." He says after a moment. You hardly waste the time it would take to get up, flicking your wrist in the general direction of the office door to hear the metal click of the lock turn. The rest of your focus is on opening König's belt. He slides forward, closer to the edge of the chair, legs spreading wider on either side of you. You're not one to pass up an open invitation.

You pull his cock free of his pants and whine at the sight of it. Even soft he's a beast of a man. At some point you have to find whoever matched you to him and thank them. Truly they are doing the devil's work. 

You push up onto your knees and press your lips against the length of his cock, tongue darting out to taste his skin with a pleased hum. König wraps a hand around one of your horns, a firm reminder of his authority. Not that you need it. Oh no you are always well aware of his status as your superior officer and summoner. That's half the fun of being summoned in the first place, knowing you're at his command, or at his feet in this particular instance. 

"I told you Schöne, I can't entertain you." He reminds you, setting the paper down to sign before picking up another. You pull off with a frown, that gets his attention. König pushes at your horn, tipping your head back to look at him with a smile in his eyes. “I didn’t tell you to stop,” He clarifies, “I meant do whatever you want.”

Your drooling is working well for you so far, slicking König's quickly hardening cock enough to stroke it. His thick length is already too much to get your fingers all the way around. You're better with your mouth anyway, always mindful of your teeth when you close your lips around the head of his cock to suck. Tongue circling while your hand twists and pumps his length. You just remember to glance at König, too focused on your work. He's reading over a report, eyes scanning the paper as you bob your head down his cock. You whine, desperate for a shred of his attention.

Your eyes go wide. Whatever you want? He nods, and pulls your horn to press your face against his cock. As previously mentioned, you’re not one to pass up an open invitation. Quick to start pumping his cock with your fingers again as you duck your head to lick his balls. Dragging your tongue along the thin sensitive skin, feeling the texture of his coarse hair. Whatever you want? Oh you are going to worship him. Whatever you want means König cumming is not the end goal. Besides, he has to work.

You’re not meant to be let off leash. He’s supposed to give you orders, not hand you the reins. You trace every line and vein of his cock with your tongue, press languid kisses along the length of him, absolutely lose yourself in the taste and feel of him. Sweat, salt, military issue soap and the bitterness of pre-cum coat your tongue and fill your nose. König keeps you well fed but you haven’t seen battle in weeks. Now the lazy waves of lust that roll through him with the roll of your tongue feel like the best meal you’ve had in years.

You squeeze your fingers around the base of his cock as you wrap your lips around the head, easing your way down with fluttering lashes. You swallow, tongue rubbing against the underside of his cock until you reach your fingers. Then your hand drops to your lap and you still with your nose against his pubic bone, enjoying the feeling of being full. The heavy cock on your tongue, the ache in your jaw, the pressure of him stretching out your throat… You purr around him, earning a very pleased hum from König above you.

His hand leaves your horn to pet your hair as you cockwarm him. Your thoughts are fuzzy, your skin warm, all of you lulled by an affectionate hand, the scent of him, and a cock down your throat. Your fingers slip between your legs, lazy and indulgent, rubbing the slick from your cunt along your slit to circle your clit. When König is done with his work he’ll bend you over his desk and fuck you for being so needy, you want to be ready.

#demon!darling au #könig mw2 #colonel könig #oc: fetch #König #König x oc #König x reader #könig smut #Nobody talk to me about König being minorly ooc #I think he's got a “work mode” that lets him function like a normal person #y'know like a customer service personality #but for the fucking military #how did this man pass his psych evals #I don't think he did I think they just couldn't not let him kill people #Fetch is so fucking obsessed with this man #And he treats her like a pet #unlike Ghost who treats Die like a helpful annoyance

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i've returned from the shadow(ban) realm

which is the good news. i guess? on strange news - i have no idea how? i just opened tumblr and suddenly i could see my posts in gen tags again.

tumblr support never contacted me back after i sent my ticket. so. like? was i just put in naughty shadowban bucket for a week or so as punishment and now i was let out??? ok i guess????

-

also just wanted to say thanks to everyone for kind words and extra thanks to everyone who reblogged my stuff while i was in shadow(ban) realm ;) it made me happy to know that even if i stayed banned, my stuff still could be found thanks to you guys <3

#[personal.] #does this website even function normally anymore #i mean it never did i know that. but my confusion is just immesurable #maybe some passing tumblr mod saw my ticket and quietly lifted my shadowban in that case thanks bro u r a real one #wouldnt it be funny if i instantly get shadowbanned again. i dont even know man #on another note: ive been in art slump limbo since ive been unable to finish anything and instead dedicating my energy to writing #but hopefully i will find my groove back and finish and post my wips soonish? so like ;)

[seaglassdinosaur]

I know we collectively agree that Hiccup isn’t romantically inclined, and his getting married and having kids didn’t make sense in the epilogue, but consider: Hiccup getting married for political reasons.

It’s a marriage of alliance, which is recognized both by him and his partner, and they enter it without expectations of romantic involvement. Since they’re now married, they live in the same castle, spend time together, and Hiccup finds he really likes his spouse. They’re funny, get along with his friends, and has the same interests and values. They both probably speak multiple languages. She understands why Hiccup is so dedicated to making the Wilderwest better, and holds similar views. She’s a good politician (her job after all, was to be an ambassador). Hiccup likes spending time with them, and the feeling is mutual. They’re not in love, they have their own lives, but they’re dedicated to each other and eventually decide to raise children. They teach their kids how to train hawks and hunt with dragons, riding, history, the Languages, and all the necessary skills of their world. They’re not in love and they’re happy together.

#pushing the aromantic hiccup agenda and also the queerplatonic agenda #as much as the idea of hiccup getting married was always a little off to me it was more the romantic angle #which I why I like the idea of a marriage of alliance and a partner who understands that #and then of course the montage of them being a good team and getting along #and going ‘yeah I like this person. I think this is the person I want to spend my life with.’ #also a) a lot of arranged political marriages did have the foreign spouse function as an ambassador #b) polyglot hiccup is canon and I think it would be neat if his spouse was as well. it is a marriage alliance after all. #she isn’t from the small area of berm #(actually give all the Vikings regional accents. I think it’s neat) #c) she/they because I didn’t feel firmly about the partner’s gender and the nords were pretty gender diverse #anyway I think the partner would probably be fond of the library and admire hiccup got it open way back when #get along with Fishlegs and camicazi well enough #and enjoy dramatic stories of their adventures. maybe have some of her own #also: normalize people having their own lives outside their partners. hiccup and they are happy together but also have their own friends #oh and you know hiccup would be a great dad. he loves Stoick but he would so much be the dad he wished he had growing up #are the kids bio related? are they adopted (cast off and No Names)? who knows! #I could build in my head what hiccup’s spouse is like but I’ll leave it here #they exist as we construct them #httyd #httyd books #my post #book!hiccup #hiccup the third #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #book hiccup

[uncanny-tranny]

You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize) #(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that) #(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view) #i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle) #hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm. #mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience) #but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍

[evilkaeya]

being depressed sucks ass because there's so many things I wanna do but I just can't

#in my mind i want to work on my assignment #not should but WANT #I WANT TO FUNCTION LIKE A REGULAR PERSON IN SOCIETY #but it's so hard. even bringing myself to shower or eat is like. so much work #anyways i finsihed derry girls #cheers to that #it was amazing #deserved more seasons #I'm going to watch bes next #maybe not starting today but i will #is it even depression because I'm not sad #I'm just not doing things that normal people do normally #and while i feel shit abt it it's not making me sad #right now for example I'm only having pomegranates and a scrambled egg for dinner

[adustoflove]

I'm gonna do it one day (kill myself)

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #tw sui ideation #sui mention #suicidal ideation #okay I'm starting to wonder if I'd just be a different person on meds #like would.....my life be even a little more bearable...— #would I be able to be a normal person without the crushing weight of everything #I hate the idea of meds but girl if it made me a completely 100 percent normal and functional person #I'd be deep throating the bottle

[oddlyspecificff7headcanons]

vincent was a pretty frail child and spent a lot of time stuck in bed because he was sick. he got over that in adulthood but fucking dying kind of reset that progress. he catches every other virus that goes around now and most of the time cloud and the gang have to force him to chill tf out and rest

#theres constant debate over whether or not vincent can GET sick but personally i think he can #chaos only really fixes things if they're an immediate threat to its vessel and a little cold isn't worth its time i think #he is dead but he still functions like a normal human for the most part so i assume his immune system still tries to kick viruses out #just without a heartbeat #mod zuko #ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ffvii #final fantasy #vincent valentine #headcanon #final fantasy headcanons

[payasita]

...deadass i think Slay the Princess gave me a new grounding mechanism and it's incredibly funny. like in the midst of tryna figure out if im stuck dissociating because im anxious or stuck anxious because im dissociating my brain just hits me with "Heart, Lungs, Liver, Nerves" and like. it worked

#personal #i mean functionally its the same as a normal 'feel all ya shit' grounding technique #but it's over with even faster which i like #hilariously v empowering. like 'yep these four are still working. time to go do my laundry' #del later prolly

[vvyrmwood]

“you’re autistic but your so high functioning” no i’m not actually. im some things maybe but others no. i’m forced to over extend myself and have to pretend to be in order to be a cog in capitalism machine

#calling me high functioning is not the compliment alltistics seem to think it is btw #having to mask so much is extremely taxing and physically painful at times #being told i don’t seem autistic or im so high functioning that it’s like i’m not autistic is like #buddy u have no idea i am Not this person u think i am at all. im weird and annoying and struggle #but i still have to rp as a normal person just to make y’all comfortable. idk. im over it

[bitchwholikesshitposting]

Fucking love the idea of the chassis being an amplifier because you kinda get the best of both worlds from the whole chassis theory argument where wheatley's still being influenced but you keep the complexity of his character intact, plus you get the double whammy existential crisis of being driven to do horrible things but still having to deal with the fact after you come to your senses that no matter which way you look at it was still all you. In this essay I will

Ignore the giant rant in the tags its 1 AM

#portal #portal 2 #wheatley #bc like the chassis definitely AFFECTED wheat man. but i think that some people it was like mind control??? and nah its more like #someones being a big asshole to you and you half-jokingly go in your head “im gonna kill this person”. because you're genuinely that annoye #but you dont actually do it bc obviously you shouldnt and you were never intending to actually do so. #yeah imagine if you actually DID that #you HAD that thought. you FELT that anger. #and the only thing that you needed to pull the trigger on that gun was a little push over the cliff. and you put yourself on the edge of it #imagine that and thats how i see that #a lot of the stuff wheatley blurts out in the chassis is from like a genuine place too #he sounds genuinely hurt #genuinely angry and sad and confused #hes genuinely THAT upset. #plus there are even points where he seems to be enjoying his time in the chassis. #he does these goofy villain lines and laughs at the thought of you fucking dying #obviously the chassis is a terrible thing to be in and the bad moments outweigh the good but nontheless. #this seems less like straight up direct control #or just him functioning normally #this sounds like what happens when you remove a very fucked up man's inhibitions and just let him go apeshit #because lets be real. wheatleys always been slightly unhinged. just in the funne haha tumblr way up until that point #he smashed a window casually and briefly laughed while a bunch of turrets were being thrown into a fire #hes not exactly evil either but hes definitley not like #okay #i mean we all knew that look at the fucking boss battle lines but #anyways the point is i fucking love the implications of that #the existential crisis that would cause #imagine going through that and having to question like #what was you? did you really want all of that? did you ALWAYS want it? where does the chassis begin and you END? #GODDDDD that headcannon goes so hard

[hajihiko]

brain problems? brain solutions. you are correct

my brain makes up problems then solves them. this makes me very good at explaining bad media and very bad at functioning like a person

#not an art #Thats a joke I'm actually hilariously good at functioning LIKE a normal person. #I'm not. There is something severely wrong w me. But you couldnt tell

[philtstone]

was today years old when i realized the hand over hand gesture arwen makes when she makes aragorn keep the necklace in the two towers flashback is the exact same hand over hand gesture aragorn makes when he lets frodo keep the ring at the end of fellowship ........... when i say no other book romance has been adapted to film so geniusly

#like they HAD the vision they SAW what others could not ..... #i cant stress enough how much they are in narrative function the same person. & thats beautiful #one day ill be normal about them. probably #phil reads lotr #sort of. mostly right now im just looking at gifsets ive already reblogged #lord of the rings #aragorn x arwen