#got the whole season expect much tomfoolery

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: June 2022

Hey. I find it hard sharing something like this with everything that’s going on. When I say “this is how I spent my month” I really mean “these are some of the things I did to give myself a mental break.” Maybe this will lead you to find something that will give you a bit of a break too.

……….FILM……….

Top Gun: Maverick (2022) Despite hearing how good it was and being skeptical that it really could be that great, it really delivered! I mean it’s very funny that Tom Cruise has to find a team leader, only to realize he was team leader all along, but somehow it still mostly works. Also far funnier than expected. Anyway I think we as a collective should spend less money on these crazy planes but dang if the footage within the cockpits wasn’t impressive.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022) No thanks. It felt like a whole lotta plot but not much story, you know? Like things just kept happening and I just wanted to know why? LIke why tell this story? With that said, the baby raptor plot got me. It was silly, but it totally got me.

Top Gun (1986) Having never seen this before, it was pretty good! I think all these years of osmosis made me think Iceman was more of an antagonist than he is; the guy doesn’t want to fly with a reckless showboat and I get that.

……….TELEVISION……….

Kingdom (Episode 1.01 to 1.06) Zombie movies are peak stress for me but I tend to like them in tv a lot more; it means more characters are going to survive for longer than 30 minutes and I’m into that. Outside of the second world war, I don’t see a lot of period stuff with zombies and I think that should change. The drama is great, the monsters are interesting and threatening, and overall I think it’s a good season of TV.

……….READING……….

Maskerade by Terry Pratchett (Complete) Pratchett’s work is always so comforting yet inspiring...and kind! So much nuance to both the protagonists and antagonists and neither are treated as one-note characters. I’m beginning to notice a general structure/theme within the last few installments (an object or place compels people to do things and thus the story unfolds until that compulsion is stopped) but I really don’t mind. The stories are simply vehicles for the characters to shine and that’s where the Discworld series is at its strongest. 

A Frog in the Fall (And Later On) by Linnea Sterte (Complete) Truly a work of art. Unfortunately this was only available through Kickstarter but if you can find a digital copy online then I highly recommend. Charming and dangerous and funny in a casual way, it felt like a blend of poetry and journal. Beautiful work.

……….AUDIO……….

The Underground Sound by Joey Valence (2022) Hey do you like the Beastie Boys? So does Joey Valence. That may sound like a dig but honestly, I love this album.

……….GAMING……….

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) This month the group is continuing to flee from the mob and have gotten back into their bounty-hunting adventures! Their first gig has taken them across Oz, from the libraries of The Archives to the wrestling arena of Loonville! You can read all about their tomfoolery over here.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 group continues to explore (and exploit) the strange happenings inside the Skull, with mixed results! Now that they’re back on the island, it’s time for them to sort out what was real and what was imagined.

And that’s it. As always, I’d love to hear your recommendations and stay safe out there.

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

[sxrcererkillxr]

boku no hero academia + top 5 arcs                  01/05:  shie hassaikai 

if i can’t save the one small girl in front of me, how can i become a hero that saves everyone?

#bnhaedit #bnhagraphics #bnhagif #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #shie hassaikai #mine #gif #bnha top 5 #THEEEE WAAAAYYY I COULDN'T FIT FATGUM/KIRISHIMA IN HERE WHEN IT'S ALSO A HUGE REASON WHY IT'S MY FAV #got the whole season expect much tomfoolery #mirio and fatgum are my favorites and they singlehanded saved bnha #this ones in order unlike my top jjk eps as im very critical of bnha since it kinda sucks

[threewaysdivided]

I was screaming when I saw the update notification in my inbox! (And I might have done a little embarrassing dance, too). Every part of this chapter was well worth the wait! The tone and plot read like something you would find in S1 of YJ, and I loved every minute of it! I have to say, one of my favorite moments was when Phantom accidentally gave everyone a brainfreeze 🤣 That was unexpected, but definitely added some levity to the situation haha! Thank you for the excellent chapter dear author!

Thank you so much! The number of people who've told me they yelled/ gasped/ jumped or otherwise went absolute wiggly bonkers on seeing the update note for Deathly Weapons Chapter 18 has been utterly delightful. After so long I was mostly expecting to be met with a mix of crickets and "oh huh. guess you're not dead then. cool".

Hopefully 21K worth of mission is sufficient apology for my frankly overlong absence.

There was a time when this fic had a regular upload schedule but these days I feel like I've evolved into an odd sort of cryptid. The Loch Ness monster's saltier cousin who occasionally whale-breaches out of the lake to canonball novella-length updates into the water before disappearing back down into the murky depths of container gardening and writing analysis from whence I came.

I've been really gratified to hear so many people say the Black Gold mission felt like it could be a proper YJS1 episode. Arc II is definitely where YJ:DW swings more Young Justice story-wise and it's sort of my little love letter to Season 1 so it's nice to know that I'm coming somewhere within swinging distance of capturing that style.

I'm also glad this one seems to be carrying itself pretty well as a semi-self-contained plot - I was kind of worried that it was going to be a bit of a wet fish to drop after 2 years of silence. Don't get me wrong, Chapter 18 is doing important structural things but (to me, at least) it's not as significant to the characters or long-term plot as the missions I have planned to follow it (ironically contributing to the catch-22 of it taking so long to write).

One of my favorite moments was when Phantom accidentally gave everyone a brainfreeze

Fun fact: that odd little scene of telepathic tomfoolery came about mostly because I wanted to set up Wally calling Phantom "an actual headache to work with" in a later chapter. Behold the lengths I am willing to go to for absolute nonsense!

While I wouldn't call Black Gold an especially funny chapter on the whole there were definitely some little bits that were just plain fun to write. Top picks include:

Sphere rattled her plates in a way that made it clear she felt she was being babied.

“Uh, yeah, just… have you ever cut through a construction yard after dark?” - the Boy Wonder’s affirmatory noise was echoed by Artemis - “Well now imagine it’s full of people who want to kill you.”

Wally attempted a suave lean as the men slid to the ground.  “These guys bothering you?”

Just for a moment, he considered that he might be insane.

“Wasn’t he tied to a table?” “Yeah, and?” the speedster gave a magnificent shrug.  “He still is.”

“Besides,” Kid Flash shrugged the item on experimentally, colour eye-watering against his stealth-suit, “you know me: moves like a shadow.”

Can you tell that I just really, really like writing Wally?

also this one:

“Maybe you should re-re-count. You know, make sure you’ve got your facts straight?”

which isn't all that funny but tickles me because oh the shade, the backhandedness of it all.

In somewhat related news, I am very excited now because Chapter 18 being done means I get to move onto Chapters 19 - 21, a trinity which astute readers may recognise as Flashpoints, Combustion and Equilibrium aka that Wally-heavy trinity whose outline I've been going nuts over for literal years.

And also: it's already got a rough outline! Which, with luck means I might take less than 20% of a decade to get it to you. Golly, imagine that!

Hope you'll come along to see 💜

#young justice: deathly weapons #young justice #danny phantom #Chapter 18 #Black Gold #anonymous #doodly-doop #3WD Answers #I had so many crises of confidence writing Chapter 18 #there were so many elements that had terrifyingly botch-able potential #glad it turned out well for everyone #feels kind of silly in hindsight but there you have it #I am so hyped to get to the next three chapters you have no idea #despite what they might lead you to believe Wally is actually one of my favourite characters #he has an amazing capacity to carry absolute narrative nonsense without it ever feeling out of place #this is a boy with his heart on his sleeve his foot perpetually in his mouth and absolutely NO capacity to pull off suave-on-purpose #I love one (1) wildly irritating redheaded child

[whatiwillsay]

what really inspired the babe music video though...

So if you’ve read my babe mv analysis you know it’s one of the world’s loudest and best gaylor proofs in existence.  What I want to explore here however is why 5-6 years after Swiftgron was over, is Taylor digging up the grave another time to drag her ex.  

Seriously stop and think about it.  Why on God’s gay earth did Taylor decide to Swiftgron her ass off in 2018.   When she’s supposedly moved on to the London Lover and happy? The simplest explanation is that Babe is about Dianna so Taylor made sure people knew that.  And hey that’s completely possible. 

However it’s Christmas and I’m feeling generous so buckle up for some crack and reaching.  (read: this is mostly a joke post so don’t come for my neck for playing around and making it. if you don’t like it don’t read✌️)

What if Taylor painting herself as the desperate other woman in this music video all about Dianna has a meaning further than it just worked out like that?  What if Dianna was cheating on Winston with Taylor in a late stage illicit Swiftgron affair 👀👀👀????  (no I don’t think IA is about dianna, she doesn’t take runs)

Taylor said herself that “the narrative is never truly over” about her and Dianna so right after she and Karlie broke up why wouldn’t we expect a Swiftgron fling:

Babe was released in late spring of 2018 so let’s try and pin down when this Swiftgron tomfoolery could have taken place...

We know Dianna was in London at the beginning of 2017 (with Carey Mulligan no less, a friend of Taylor’s!)

Thanks to @swiftiesleuth​‘s (who is probably going to make fun of me for this theory but THAT’S FINE W ME) realistic Kaylor Timeline we know Taylor was hiding out in London at this point in time as well:

3 January 2017 - Taylor diaries that she’s “essentially based in London” and that “we have been together and no one has found out for three months.” (This could be three months with Joe from September 28 OR three months from Tily’s Halloween party. Either way, not Karlie).

8 January 2017 - Taylor and Zayn film the I Don’t Wanna Live Forever MV in London.

So the question is, can we build a theory about Swiftgron having a late stage affair simply because they were in the same city at the same time?  Well if Kaylors can claim Kaylor got engaged solely because Taylor was not papped while Karlie went on vacation then I say YES!  Tis the damn season!!!

Let’s look at social media clues.  Dianna seemed to be in on Rep promo.  You want proof?  Well what else could she have meant when she posted a photo captioned “please don’t eat the daisies” a few months after the London affair. We know Karlie called Taylor daisy so perhaps social media criminal mastermind Dianna “queen of shade” Agron was trying to humiliate Karlie because Karlie smirked at her at that fashion show in 2015:

Emboldened by her own crimes she then flexed her insider knowledge of Rep promo by posting video of her singing on instagram with the caption “Zombie Love” a mere three days before Taylor appeared in the LWYMMD music video dressed as a zombie in the OOTW (a song about Dianna) dress.  Why is Taylor a zombie in specific outfit?  Because Swiftgron is back from the dead of course:

Not only that but in the music video she buries the Taylor in the met gala dress from 2014.  She attended that met gala with Karlie.  RIP KAYLOR LONG LIVE SWIFTGRON!??!?

Now positively DRUNK with power, Dianna seems to stalk Karlie to an event only to tauntingly call her goooeeoeoeooueuueugoussssssss to her face, the queen of manipulation and psychological warfare has struck again!!!  This happens in Feb 2018 a mere matter of weeks before babe is dropped as a single.

We of course know Dianna admits to her own commitment issues on instagram two days before Babe drops but what if she is referencing her commitment issues not with Taylor but with her husband Winston because she is cheating on him with Taylor at this point in time or did some time in 2017???

Taylor releases babe and then later the music video seeming to be screaming to the whole world that yes she is cucking Winston Marshall and she wants you, your mom, and your cat to know about it!

Dianna voices her support of this by posting this to her IG stories at the end of May:

We know Taylor’s symbol was a snake during the rep era and she couldn’t trust just about anyone but, Dianna was letting her know to trust in her!!!

I’ve always suspected DBATC is a Swiftgron song due to the lyrics “i look through the windows of This Love, even though we boarded them up” -that references the flood that happened in Clean that taylor says she and the London Lover (or Karlie) boarded up the windows of after the storm in CIWYW.  

I see you everywhere The only thing we share Is this small town

What if “i see you everywhere” is literal? because they’re sneaking around and actually seeing one another in a literal since?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

Sounds like an affair to me!!!

When she says “the morning comes and you’re not my baby” she’s saying speaking present day because Dianna is still married to Winston.

and while Dianna seems to love rubbing Karlie’s face in it, like the evil villain we all know she is, Taylor likewise seems to like to rub Winston’s cuck status in his face in it since she adds a song he wrote about Dianna to her me! playlist in June of 2019:

look at the other songs she taunts him with “glad he’s gone”, “just friends”, “hey, ma”, “open my mouth”!! she’s sick!!!

Winston has had enough of this and he and Dianna split in July of 2019 though it doesn’t go public for a year.

To add insult to injury (and to personally attack tumblr kaylors all over the world) Taylor performs false god at SNL, a song she wrote about her and Dianna’s late stage affair with Dianna in attendance. 

So in summation, perhaps Taylor is referencing Dianna so much recently because they hooked up more recently than 2013 and that’s why Taylor paints herself as the other woman in the Babe mv and has become obsessed with adultery lately.  Because maybe Dianna was cheating on Winston with her 😌😌😌.

#merry christmas #this is mostly a joke #swiftgron #gaylor swift

[twh-news]

How Loki's finale sets up season 2 and the future of the MCU

Loki finale spoilers follow.

Just minutes into the season-one finale, Loki and Sylvie finally arrive at their destination following last week's big castle reveal. When the doors to their destiny swing open, Miss Minutes suddenly appears and congratulates the pair on completing this "awfully long journey."

Sure, season one was only six episodes long, but Loki's story started way before this. Combine all of his movie appearances with the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey hijinks of this show, and it sure does feel like we've been on a long journey with the God of Mischief.

And now, following that post-credits reveal, Marvel has confirmed that Loki will indeed return for a second season. Thank the gods this journey is continuing, because there are more loose threads in that final episode than there are in all of Asgard's finest tailories combined.

Loki ending explained

Upon arriving at the Citadel at the End of Time, Loki and Sylvie are promised all of their greatest desires, including an infinity gauntlet, the Throne of Asgard and a win against those "self-righteous' Avengers. Christmas came early for our Lokis, but despite all that, they both end up turning Miss Minutes down.

And with that, the Big Bad of Loki (and now the MCU as a whole) is revealed to be Lovecraft Country's Jonathan Majors, AKA He Who Remains AKA Kang the Conquerer AKA "a jerk" (his words, not ours) AKA the villain that comic book fans predicted all along. What follows is a hefty amount of exposition that puts even the first episode to shame, so we'll do our best to summarise.

While He Who Remains bops around to avoid Sylvie's sword, he serves the pair tea and begins to explain his big origin story. Eons ago, in the 31st century, our guy (let's call him Kang, even if the show didn't) discovered the multiverse around the same time that other Kang variants did. At first, they shared knowledge and tech amongst themselves, but as time went on, those who were not "pure of heart" began to invade other realities, which erupted into all-out war.

This Kang was different from the rest, because he discovered Alioth, a creature born of the tears in reality that this war created. He Who Remains weaponised the creature, thereby ending the multiversal war. To preserve cosmic harmony, this variant then decided to isolate the "sacred" timeline, his own, and prune the rest to avoid another war. He then created the TVA to maintain this peace and thereby keep his other variants at bay.

According to He Who Remains, the only way Loki and Sylvie can move forward is if they either take over the TVA or kill this variant, which would unleash the multiversal war along with an "infinite amount of devils." So either "stifling order or cataclysmic chaos."

Pressure mounts once they cross the threshold, the point beyond the timeline that Kang knows. Everything from this point on is a surprise to him, so he's content to let his fate rest in the hands of two Lokis because… he's tired, he says.

Sylvie thinks that He Who Remains is also He Who Fibs A Bunch, so she tries to kill him. Loki isn't so sure though, and as you might expect, the pair try to settle this with a cheeky knife fight. This ends with a big kiss (cue the strings!) and then a double cross.

That's right. Sylvie chooses vengeance over love and shoves Loki through a portal, sending him back to the TVA. And with that, Lady Loki guts Kang like a fish. He seems pretty chill about it though, promising that she'll see him soon... Ominous much?

At that point, all of the timelines start branching out like crazy, creating the multiverse of madness that Kang tried to stop, until he got bored of it. We then cut back to Sad Loki at the TVA where he tries to tell Mobius that a terrifying new threat is on the way. But Mobius doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Does this mean that the timeline has been altered? Or has Loki been thrown into a new reality? Either way, it's not looking too good for the God of Mischief because a statue of Jonathan Majors has replaced the Time Keepers one we usually see in the TVA lobby.

How Loki's finale sets up season 2 and the MCU's future

Season two is going to throw plenty of new challenges at Loki, and hopefully a lot less exposition. First of all, our God of Mischief will need to figure out what the Hel's going on in this new version of the TVA. How will he get Mobius on side if Kang has always ruled this timeline or rewritten history in some way?

And it's not just one Kang he needs to worry about. He Who Remains has now become They Who Remain, which means that there are an infinite number of time-travelling villains to fight. And the worst thing of all is that Loki doesn't even have Sylvie on side now either following that savage betrayal.

Things could soon change in that regard though given the pair's connection. With Kang's tempad, Sylvie can go anywhere now, and we wouldn't be surprised if she ends up drawn back to Loki in some way.

Ravonna will almost certainly pop up again too. The TVA is all she's known, before the mindwipe anyway, and her quest to discover free will could end up transforming the Judge into an ally of sorts. And boy does Loki need all the help he can get.

Beyond the show itself, Loki's finale also just changed Marvel's entire trajectory. Not since we saw America's Ass has the MCU been left so shook by one event, but here we are, about to dive into the multiverse of madness.

The most obvious connection is between this and Doctor Strange's next film, which happens to be called The Multiverse of Madness. The good Doctor must be having heart palpitations after watching this episode, and rightly so, because he's perhaps the only one strong enough to fix this mess, aside from Wanda of course. In fact, the Scarlet Witch could turn out to be the key to everything going on here.

As a Nexus Being, Wanda can reshape reality itself, and that's going to come in handy given all of the Nexus shizz happening from this point on. Elizabeth Olsen's involvement in the film has already been confirmed, and at the end of WandaVision, it was strongly implied that Wanda will visit another reality to try and rescue some version of her now deceased children. Could this help fix things somehow or perhaps make them worse?

Doctor Strange and Wanda aren't the only ones caught up in all this. An animated show called What If...? will dive into some of Marvel's alternate realities firsthand, and the upcoming Spider-Man sequel will also tackle the multiverse with cameos from franchise stars who appeared pre-Marvel. Who knows? Maybe Spider-Ham will turn out be the one who saves everyone.

All this multiverse tomfoolery also opens the gates for X-Men and Fantastic Four characters to finally join the MCU. Marvel's First Family, as they're known in the comics, are already confirmed to star in their own film, and those Merry Mutants won't be far behind either. Whether those teams end up being recast or whether they ask the original actors to come back, one mutant whose return has already been confirmed is Deadpool.

#loki #loki series #marvel #mcu #article #digital spy #loki spoilers #loki series spoilers #spoilers

[jarofrebuke-transcripts]

Jar of Rebuke Episode 3 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 3: Cherry Tobacco

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

JARED

I really need to get into the habit of doing this more often. Dr. Daman keeps asking how this is going, but I rarely have anything to tell her that she seems to want to hear. She really wants me to do this regularly, but sitting at my desk with a sore back didn't sound too appealing, especially if I didn't have to. Even though my back is feeling a bit better after the snipe hunt tournament incident, I'm actually recording this from a bed and breakfast. And I'm tired. Not even a vacation, it's more of a work trip. Not terribly much has happened since my last update. Darius's birthday was recently. He had a little get-together with some friends and he even invited me along, which was really nice. I made sure to get there a little early especially since it was a day off of work for me. We met up at Waytooth, a restaurant that his dads and him frequent often. I got there and just sat outside for a bit fiddling on my phone, then Darius showed up. He was so excited for the party, I could tell. He smiled the second we made eye contact. He jogged over to me and we talked for a bit. The weather is still pretty nice, it's finally starting to get chillier, which is actually nicer, I prefer the layers. So we sat outside and enjoyed the weather as we talked until his other friends showed up. They were all nice, but I kind of stuck by Darius most of the day since he was the only one that I really knew.

After lunch, we all went to a drive-in theater that they've got set up here in town, which is mostly just a projector and a large painted brick wall, but it was still a nice time. His friends all sat in different cars as we watched the movie, but Darius and I sat in the bed of his truck and ate snacks that he had packed. Darius is a really good cook. He's learning a lot of cool stuff from that class he's taking. I gave him a little gift, of course. Well, two things. I got him a new wrench set since he'd been saying that he needed a new one, his old one's been a bit worn down for a while. Uh, gifts to give him in front of his friends, since he really plays up the whole inheriting the family farm shtick around them. But we, when we were in his truck, just the two of us, I gave him his second gift. He said he had really gotten into cross stitching recently and he seemed a little embarrassed about it. But I wanted him to know that I thought that was interesting, so I got him a little pack of stitching patterns and some thread organizers. I wasn't sure what kind of patterns he'd like, so I just got him a couple of different kinds. He was quiet for a few moments after he opened that gift and I kind of panicked for a moment honestly. But he then gave me a really big smile and put his hand on my shoulder. He gave me a really soft thank you and I told him it was my pleasure, as long as he made me something. It was an obvious joke, at least I hoped it was obvious. But he asked what I'd want. I told him I like birds. Birds have so much freedom to just fly around and always sing such pretty songs. Besides geese, I don't like geese. He asked me if I had any favorites. I said I like blue jays. Major assholes, but beautiful. He laughed and he said he'd give it his best shot, but I told him that I’d hang up anything he made me. And that was about it. We barely watched the movie, we spent most of the time quietly talking actually.

What else have I done? Well, Dr. Castillo and I went and investigated the energy signatures from the cornfields after Todd told us to do so and you know what we found? Corn. That's it. Oh, and more corn! No energy spikes, no signs of tomfoolery of the natural or supernatural kind, nothing. It was almost strange how untouched by supernatural energies it seemed. We investigated during the day and at night. No changes. So we've been keeping tabs on the fields but nothing that's been too notable has happened when we're out there. We've been passing a lot of our time in the labs reorganizing files going over the energy spikes that have been recorded and theorizing what we could possibly be dealing with there. But until we can further examine it, there is not much we can do. Ever since they replaced my old lab partner my workload has been much lighter. I actually prefer to be busy than bored, and I think Dr. Castillo isn't used to having idle hands either. They only ever give me small menial tasks and it's becoming more annoying than anything else. But I did recently see my old lab partner, Dr. Lomax in the hall this morning. I've seen them in passing a few times but we haven't been able to catch up much since the sudden change. Dr. Lomax also has no idea why they got suddenly switched to a different lab. Seems that none of us know why the change was made. All Todd said was “just had to rearrange some staff, don't worry about it!”

Speaking of, before I left work today, I got another email from Todd. Typically his emails are him asking us to do something and then him talking himself up for multiple paragraphs and making it seem like it should be a privilege to do what he's asking you to do. But this email was him actually giving me lodging information for the local inn, and explaining that I had to pack up a bag and go. They apparently planned to do renovations or something on my house due to a concern of faulty plumbing. I'd mentioned to Dr. Daman about the less-than-stellar heating system when I wanted to take a bath or do dishes, but I didn't expect anyone to actually do anything about it. But a night without weird tapping on my door sounded nice, and even though I replied to the email basically saying “oh no, you really don't have to, I can live with it”, Todd insisted. I could just see his smug smile on the other side of the screen. He'll subtly hold it over my head for later, but the rule of one denial for good polite measure then acceptance of an offer had been met and I was off home to pack a bag. And here I am now.

The Chronicle Inn bed and breakfast is run by an older married couple, Ester and Laura. I'd met them a few times before my stay here but I hadn't spent much time with them. This place is mostly a restaurant and homemade goods store rather than an inn, considering we don't get many outsiders who stay here any longer than to grab a bite to eat and get gas. But for times like these it's nice to have an inn available. Even if it's only a few rooms, it's much better than staying at the facilities that the enclosure has on site. Work would have likely put me into a temporary on-site lodging space if the inn wasn't available. To be honest I'm surprised they actually put me in the end instead of just tossing me into some temp lodging room for a night. Maybe they remembered how much I hate that place. It's nearly impossible to sleep with the buzzing lights and the beds really aren't made for comfort and the bathrooms are all so claustrophobic. I swear, they make that place as uncomfortable as possible so people want to leave. That, or they just skimped on the prices for a comfortable setup to focus the money elsewhere at the Enclosure. I'd believe that. Though maybe they booked me at this place to have me investigate something while I'm here. Can't even enjoy this nice little one-night getaway, huh? They expect me to work? Do they plan to pay me for looking into things overnight? Probably not, not like they ever pay me for the full work I do anyways.

The room I’m in is kinda known for weird happenings. The whole town knows but there's not a huge fuss over it. No one's died from it, so why be too concerned? Ester warned me about these weird happenings while I was checking in. There's word of a spirit that haunts the upper floor of the building. Been here for as long as anyone can recall. She explained it all to me with a smile and a jovial tone, so she doesn't seem concerned. After the literal run-in with the deer a few weeks ago, I really just wanted some rest. Her wife Laura told me that they serve breakfast at 7 am but they'll be at the desk to take my key as early as 6. Thankfully tomorrow my shift starts at 8 instead of the usual 6 so I might be able to actually get some real food in me before work.

Didn't take me too long to get up here and settled in. I decided to just relax today instead of going out into town. So I did some reading in bed. Not that I could really focus much, the bed here is nice and cozy, but there's definitely a vibe about it. The room, not the bed. The rest of the inn is very homey, lived in, but in a good way. But the second I got to the top of the stairs it was like the air got barely but still noticeably cooler. When I came into the room I saw a little baggie of homemade beef jerky that Ester made and gave me. She's known around town for her jerkies and her woodwork. She's always so hands-on with everything she makes, whether it's snacks or a new set of chairs. She may have actually made the chair I'm sitting in right now, actually. I sat outside for a bit. There's a nice balcony that looks over some gardens and in the far distance I can see the vast fields. The evening felt so nice and I could see the little lightning bugs flying around as I got darker. I've always liked watching their dances. I often watch kids running around catching them in jars and then letting them all go just minutes later, but I prefer to watch them do their own thing out in nature. I watched the stars and the flicking lights of the lightning bugs for a bit, sipped on some sweet tea that Laura had brewed and offered me, ate some of the jerky that Ester made, and relaxed. I let my mind wander to wherever it went off to which as usual was all over the place. But no tapping on the doors, no weird deer staring at me, it was nice. But I keep feeling like something, or someone, is watching me. I feel that pretty often but this is different. It feels closer, if that makes sense. Like right now I'm sitting in a plush chair by the window in the room looking over the nice herb garden out back. The stars are still twinkling, the wind is just slightly blowing, and I've been able to crack the window open for some breeze. But I feel like something is watching me from the doorway. I swear to gods if I turn around and someone is standing there... (deep inhale) nope, nothing.

When Ester was telling me about what I could possibly expect, she said that a spirit had been wandering around in the room I'm staying in. Sometimes the spirit watches people. Sometimes the spirit just walks around and ignores the tenants. Must depend on her mood. But apparently something about the blue lamp by the bedside table really draws her out. Considering my line of work, and that my boss sent me here, I'm obviously going to turn on the light. Even if she's not rumored to be particularly dangerous, if they're just wanting to keep me busy then I could see Todd throwing me here to look into it a bit more. Okay. Hold on, give me a sec, let me see what happens. [lamp clicks on] It's a pretty light. I don't think I've seen a light this shade of blue outside of some of the lights they put up around town in the winter. It's nice. Oh, uh... hello? I don't know if she can hear me but I do see someone standing by the door, on the other side of the room, and um, [sniffs] tobacco?

THE BLUE LADY

I can hear you just fine.

JARED

[startled] Ah! Sorry about that. how are you?

THE BLUE LADY

Why do you ask?

JARED

Manners, I guess? Should I ask- who are you?

THE BLUE LADY

I don't think it really matters now. Besides, it's better I ask who you are.

JARED

Oh, uh, Dr. Jared Hel. I'm a scientist with the Enclosure on the edge of town. I…

THE BLUE LADY

WHO you are, not what you are. I know what you are.

JARED

...What I am is a person who would like to get some rest.

THE BLUE LADY

No, what you are is different. At least different from what I remember.

JARED

From what you remember? Have we met before?

THE BLUE LADY

Not exactly. “Met” isn't the word I would use. But we've interacted.

JARED

How so..?

THE BLUE LADY

I've watched you from afar, I've seen what you do. I guess our paths have more indirectly crossed.

JARED

I've never studied you before. You're not exactly the kind of thing that the enclosure typically sends me to study.

THE BLUE LADY

Then why are you here?

JARED

Well, work decided to fix the plumbing in my house so they put me up here. To get some rest.

THE BLUE LADY

And yet you're not here to study me?

JARED

Well that's actually unclear, I guess. I mean, if they're going to book me in the most haunted room at an inn, I guess they're having me investigate. Or Todd's just messing with me. That seems like something he'd pull.

THE BLUE LADY

Messing with you? [scoffs] When did you start putting up with the antics of people like that?

JARED

Okay, I'm gonna be upfront- if we met more than two years ago I have zero memory of any of that time. So this vague, cryptic talk is going to get you nowhere.

THE BLUE LADY

What are you doing with that thing?

JARED

[rustling sound] This it's an audio journal. It takes less focus and energy than writing. Are you just gonna keep staring at me or..?

THE BLUE LADY

People don't usually understand me this well for full conversations, so it has been quite a while. It isn't as if Ester and Laura can clearly understand me, even if they have tried.

JARED

How long have you been here?

THE BLUE LADY

Longer than I can remember. The rumor is that I've been here since the establishment of this town, whenever that may have been.

JARED

And when did we meet? I mean interact indirectly.

THE BLUE LADY

For the first time? It was many, many years ago. But again, you've certainly changed.

JARED

But again, I don't remember. You keep saying that and, [winces in pain] oh god my head!

THE BLUE LADY

We won't be getting very far right now.

JARED

No wait wait wait no hold on hold on.... and she's gone. [slams fist on table] Damn it! Why won't anyone just tell me anything outright? Oh my head... it's always like this. They disappear for a while and then come back so suddenly. Oh I hate this flesh prison! I'm done recording for now I need to try and nurse this headache now and recover from whatever the hell… oh it seems she left a little gift. Some blue ribbon? It's maybe four or five inches long, a little frayed at the ends. It's the same color as the lamp. There's something written on it. The handwriting's a bit hard to read but it looks like “you need to remember”. Remember what? How am I supposed to remember if no one ever tells me anything? Everyone always pushes me to try and remember but there's nothing to remember if they're making me grasp at thin air! They say they support me, they say they want to help, but what do they do to help, huh? All of this performative support is getting me nowhere. [facing away from recorder] And how is this ribbon supposed to help? You couldn't have given me something a little less vague? [groans] Why is everyone always so damn vague? Are they scared to just say something concrete? Why can't anyone ever give me a straight answer! No, it's fine. It's fine. I'm just… I'm going to go to bed. Right. I'm going to get some sleep. No tapping, no knocking, just sleep. I'm gonna go turn off the lamp and get some rest. Right. Ugh. Whatever. This is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off, I guess.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Voice of The Blue Lady provided by Misha Bakshi. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi. And special thanks to our patreon supporters Becky Thompson, Perry Bruns, and Tristan Fraud.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts #jor podcast

[ambitionsource]

What’s your guys favourite front nine character? favourite recurring character? And Adult character? And why?

Dearest anon, you should know that the moment I showed this to Katie and Es all three of us were like “oh no” because choosing a favorite is like. So hard. It’s like pulling teeth. It feels downright impossible, especially when it comes to the front nine. And yet, and yet, we will do it anyway. Thanks for the challenge!

Katie (co-producer)

Favorite Front Nine: Farkle. Look, this was a tough call, but obviously it has to be Farkle. I love him so much it's unreal, in every universe. I think his depiction of mental illness is really real and important and relatable. I know he's kind of a villain for a little bit there (maybe more of an antihero), but he's MY antihero and that's fine! Farkle Protection Squad coalition of one! His spiral into self-hatred and eventual recovery... yeah. Very important to me. I love him!

Favorite recurring: Yindra. No one is surprised. I love Yindra. Queen of confidence! Queen of talent! If I went to AAA, I would have the biggest crush on Yindra, hands down, because she’s incredible. Someone needs to be that iconic! Plus, her dynamic with Zay and Nigel... literally incredible. Everybody put some respect on my lesbian queen.

Favorite adult: Eric. I dunno if I really need to explain why, but I will. His compassion and understanding is one of my favorite things about him, and I love the way he works through the issues he and Jack face at the school. Plus his and Jack's dynamic... iconic. Love them. (It was a tough call between the two of them but I figure more people are gonna say Jack.) And him and Isa! 🥺🥺🥺 Best counselor award when?

Esther (co-creator)

Favorite Front Nine: Since maggie got to break the rules I will too. My favourites are Dylan and Isadora. Farkle and Charlie are close behind as I love their storylines and delving into their minds and mental headspace, but Isa and Dylan are definitely at the top and have very special places in my heart. Isa I’ve been attached to since gmw in much the same way maggie has been with Lucas, as she’s the only canon female autistic representation I’ve ever had and she provided some really relatable moments for me. I clung onto her and haven’t let go since. I also just love how complex she is and how much duality exists in her, most notably with being a techie and performer, but also the fact that she’s extroverted in some ways (performing, needing friends around her) and introverted in others (pushing people away, craving space and alone time). I could write a whole essay about her but I’ll save you the time and simply say I love her very much. Dylan definitely snuck up on me as a favourite character, but it was inevitable as I’m always drawn to loveable goofballs like him. He’s just so good natured and loving, he cares so much about his friends and would do literally anything for them and I love him for that. He’s also just really funny and pure and I’m lowkey in love with him rip 

Favorite recurring: This is really difficult as there are so many incredible recurring characters. Maggie, Katie and I have talked about the fact that the show could easily have like twenty main characters with how entertaining and full of potential the rest of the a class are, but alas, every episode would be at least three hours long if that were the case. In the end I think I have to go with my girl Jade. She works so hard and makes literally amazing, beautiful pieces of ART on the regular, and is overlooked so much but still keeps on going and doing what she loves. She’s also just lovely and I love her dynamics with the other characters. She’s an integral part to the techie group, and the a class as a whole. Also, when Jade speaks up about something, you know it’s serious... 

Favorite adult: Eric 100%. He’s always been my favourite of the adults, and I stand by that. He’s very similar to Dylan in a lot of ways so of course I’m going to be drawn to the lovable goofball yet again. I also love how much he cares about the students and the school and how passionate he is about them going on to be the best versions of themselves they can be. As an Isa stan I also adore their dynamic, and am very excited to explore it more in s3.

Maggie (co-creator)

Favorite Front Nine: I’m gonna say upfront that I’m breaking the rules on this one. I don’t care. I can’t do it, I literally cannot choose only one front nine. The shorthand answer is Lucas, Farkle, and Dylan, but all for entirely different reasons. Farkle is my favorite character to write story-wise, as exploring his arc and his development as essentially the pseudo protagonist has been one of the best parts of this experience. He is also my favorite performer in that I know if we could watch / listen to these performances, his would always be my favorite. There’s just... a je ne sais quoi. Then LJF and Dylan are my personal favorites, but like... for opposite reasons and vibes. I almost can’t even explain it. Like anyone who knows me knows LJF is deeply rooted in my heart and has such a precedence and importance to me (and this version of him in particular is so special to me), so there’s that. But then with Dylan, who really blossomed and came out of the woodwork with AAA and S2 especially, there is just such a warmth and brightness and love to him and writing his character that makes me so happy. It feels like home in some ways, like a comfort space, and he really represents what I wish more of the world was like -- optimistic, genuine, comforting. So yeah. No I’m not crying. Anyway... I feel I should also mention that Asher was close here as well, but his pitfall is that he’s unintentionally way too similar to who I am as a person GJDKFGJLKDSH so it’s harder to look at him from an objective angle.

Favorite recurring: This is tough too because I love the A class after spending so much time with them + developing their quirks and eccentricities, but I think I’m going to go with Nigel (with Jade as a super close runner-up). Nigel just has that perfect balance of coolness and wit that I find really enjoyable, but he avoids the pitfalls that Farkle falls into in that he’s also a very genuine and grounded person. I love so many of his one-liners, and I really enjoy getting to bake a little more of him and Jade and their dynamic into the upcoming season.

Favorite adult: This one, on the other hand, is easy. Jack. Jackson Hunter all the way. I love writing him, I love reading about him, I just love him. I love that he is this sharp (but necessary) contrast to most of the tomfoolery of AAA. I love how we come at him from an angle of expecting him to be almost heartless because he’s a practical realist, but then we see how much he cares about the students and the school in his own right. I love his clash with Eric and how that develops and grows into an even and essential partnership. I love his light sarcasm, his exhaustion, how he tries to do the right thing even when it feels impossible -- but that he also isn’t perfect, and slips up or bends the rules when he really feels it’s the decision he needs to make (mainly regarding Lucas). Which of course... I love his dynamic with Lucas. They are I think the most unexpected thing to come out of writing the show for me, but I am obsessed with them. I would rank them up very high in my favorite dynamics of the whole show, they’re that important to me. And I definitely know that that contributes to why I love Jack so much. I just think he’s neat. I love the man. A fave fave fave.

#Anonymous #aaa friday #ambition quarantine 2020 #really was so so difficult... please dont think this means we don't love the ones not listed here #bc we do. this was so painful i hope y'all understand GFJDKLGDSFH #we didn't even do it right and it was painful #ask the creators #answered

[sternerstufftoys]

Aw, Jazz

Well chums, I don't know about you but the current global catastramozzle has left me with an acute abundance of free time on my hands, so what better way to fill it than blather about plastic robot men? Well, there's probably a thousand more productive things I could be doing, but this is what I am doing, so good sense can go do one. And the theme of the week? Why, let's begin a tour of transformers history by looking at characters introduced in the first year of the franchise, 1984. And to kick things off, it's me absolute fave: Jazz!

I should preface this by saying that since I was born in 1984, I was a mere babe when the first waves of toys hit shelves. G1 Jazz was long gone by the time I was old enough for transformer toys of my own, but while a lot of the original cast blurred into the background as relics of a mythical before-time, a lost age remembered by the ancient ones themselves (children older than 8), Jazz managed to stand out, largely down to his cartoon incarnation sounding like Hong Kong Phooey, Scatman Crothers lending his distinctive voice to both. Like Chris Latta's Starscream, the voice work stood out a mile from the rest of the G1 cast. Plus, y'know, super chill and relaxed? Jazz was teaching me cool before I even knew cool. This is why I'm so cool today.

But then again, as formative as the movie and season 3 of the cartoon were for me, the earlier seasons left relatively little mark on me, and Jazz didn't have a whole lot to do in the Marvel comic by the time I arrived to it, other than a quick turn in Simon Furman's epic Matrix Quest arc. A shame, as it would be decades before I discovered his starring role in the delightfully weird 'Man of Iron', an early UK story which was written without much knowledge of the tropes that came to shape Transformers fiction in the years to come, and owed more to Dr Who's methods of storytelling instead. I did get to enjoy Jazz's weird starring role as the hero in a choose-your-own adventured book where he faced off against Starscream and Bombshell though. Well, I say starring role. The book did boldly claim that I was the hero. So, you know, you're welcome for everything I did.

So the seed of Jazz being a hero character germinated in my brain for a few decades, and on arrival in the modern day was astonished to find that I absolutely love Jazz. Honest to god, one of my favourite characters, hands down. Cool, calm, collected, and genuinely good at his job? Everything I'm not, of course, and presumably that's why he holds such an appeal. But then, where were all the toys? Plenty of Bayverse iterations over the years, sure, which is reasonably good going for a corpse I suppose, but barely anything resembling his G1 incarnation? Blasphemy.

At the time, this was the only option available Reveal The Shield Special Ops Jazz, and despite Power of the Primes and Robots in Disguise 2015 having thrown their hats into the ring, this prepossessing pile of polymers is still the greatest Jazz out there. I said it, it's done, fight me if you want. Actually don't because we should be social distancing. But come on, how exactly do you expect to top this? It's a perfectly proportioned paragon of peaceful power, looking exactly like Jazz should when you close your eyes. Alright, the door wings might upset some, as they were suspiciously absent in the cartoon and most of the comics, but that's because the cartoon and most of the comics were wrong. Door wings are cool, and even cooler if they come with flip-up stereo speakers. It's so rare that Transformer figures come with accessories that aren't deadly weapons, and having a statement of his good-times attitude makes Jazz all the sweeter. Lucky thing too, as this second-hand model I got my mitts on had lost its gun somewhere along the way. I gave him a spare.

Transforming Jazz is a bit of a wrestle, thanks to some tight and squeaky joints that require more force than usual to get into the right configuration, and by the time you get him into car mode you're left with the worrying sense that he's staying together mostly due to all the joints trying to push themselves apart in every direction at once, and therefore cancelling each other out. Well, whatever works I guess, but it does make me slightly nervous for the future. Still, the car is just nice. Like the robot mode, it just gets everything right, not out there to pull any special tricks or blindside you with fancy gimmicks, it just does what it's supposed to and does it well. There's a complete absence of weapon ports anywhere, which feels strange in the midst of all this War for Cybertron tomfoolery, but instead the speakers fold away tidily into the interior, and the bonnet has a space for the gun to stow away. If I had it, it'd presumably make for a snug fit, but instead I have to awkwardly wedge the substitute pistol in there. It sort of works.

This toy is ten frigging years old, and that's just insane. But truth be told, it has endured due to simply being fantastic. If there ever is a WFC iteration of Jazz, I'll need a hell of an incentive to pick it up and replace this old boy. He's just that cool.

#transformers #maccadam #jazz #toy review #best bots of 1984

[samscns-blog]

      *    𝖎𝖋   ur  ready  to  two  step  into  some  absolute  BULLSHIT  tomfoolery  ,  ya  girl  𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧  is  ready  for  u  with  my  lil  firecrotch  son  ,  𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖘𝖔𝖓  .  strong  silent  type  ,  ABSOLUTE  buffoon  ,  barely  keeping  it  together  so  hopefully  by  the  time  we’re  done  w  him  he’s  still  in  something  resembling  one  piece  :’)  all  my  love  to  u  and  u  cute  asses  !  i’m  so  excited  to  get  this  all  poppin  !

⋆  ╰  another   year   at   hollingsworth   ,  another   year   of   the  big   six rivalry   .   i   hear   that  SAMSON  MAILOTO   is   ensuring  SIGMA  ALPHA  NU   gets   a   solid   pledge   class   and   stays   at   the   top   of   the   ranks   .  oh   ,   you’re   not   familiar   with  HIM  ?  SAM   is   the  KJ  APA   look   alike   from  THE  BRONX   ,   NEW  YORK   .   a  part   of   PC  ‘16   ,  he  is   majoring   in  KINESIOLOGY   and   has   plans   to  ENTER  THE  MMA  AND  ESCAPE  FROM  THE  PUBLIC  EYE   after   undergrad   .   it   makes   sense   they   pledged   their   house   ,   their  PHLEGMATIC   &  SOLICITOUS   attributes   make   them   perfect   matches   .   however   ,   their  TREPIDATIOUS   &  AUSTERE   attributes   keep   their   name   alive   on  greek   rank   .   if   you   don’t   catch   them   dancing   to  BLEACH   -   BROCKHAMPTON   at   a   fraternity   band   party   this   year   ,   you’ll   be   sure   to   catch   them   nursing   their   morning   hangover   at  THE  SNU  HOUSE   .  cheers   to   another   wild   semester  !

⋆ ╰   𝑺 𝑻 𝑨 𝑻 𝑰 𝑺 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 𝑺  .

𝒇𝒖𝒍𝒍    𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆 :     samson  ioaleki  mailoto

𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬     :    sam  ,  sammy  

𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆    /    𝒂𝒈𝒆 :    february  4    ,    twenty

𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄     :    aquarius

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓    𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚    /    𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔     :     cismale  identifying    with    he  /  him  /  his  pronouns    

𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏     :     heteroflexible  and  pansexual  ;  he’s  never  actively  considered  himself  as  lgbtq+  but  has  also  never  given  it  much  thought  ddjdjdjdkjdk

𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏    :    kinesiology  major  at  hu  ,  aspiring  welterweight  mma  fighter  ,  us  olympic  representitive  for  men’s  boxing  in  the  2020  olympics

𝒉𝒐𝒈𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔    𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆    :    gryffindor

𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏    𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅    𝒃𝒚     :     eliot  alder  from  mr  robot  ,  kylo  ren  from  the  new  star  wars  series  ,  detective  elliot  stabler  from  law  and  order  svu  ,  steve  rogers  from  the  mcu  

𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔    :    -    trepidatious  ,  austere  ,  apprehensive  ,  hesitant  ,  antisocial  ,  hostile  ,  bellicose  .

+        phlegmatic  ,  solicitous  ,  benevolent  ,  rational  ,  stalwart  ,  loyal  ,  reliable  ,  optimistic  .

𝑃𝐼𝑁𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐸𝑆𝑇  located  here  !

⋆ ╰    𝑨 𝑵 𝑻 𝑬 𝑪 𝑬 𝑫 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 .

bullet  points  for  the  win  bc  who  has  time  for  all  the  tomfoolery  i  could  spew  from  my  ass  !

sammy’s  mom  was  a  housekeeper  in  upper  manhattan  for  some  fancy  dancy  homes  who  needed  their  gold  toilet  seat  covers  sanitized  3x  a  day  ,  u  know  the  type 🙄

samson  grew  up  in  a  run  down  apartment  in  a  small  samoan  community  in  the  bronx  and  has  always  been  a  lil  antisocial  weirdo  since  those  warm  dark  eyes  came  into  the  light  .  he  rlly  minded  his  own  business  n  wasn’t  really  curious  about  literally  anything  besides  running  and  wrestling  w  his  cousins  .  his  mom  struggled  to  keep  him  fed  and  housed  and  dressed  and  worked  relentless  hours  but  never  left  sam  needing  anything  ,  a  literal  fucking  legend  of  a  woman  and  he’s  proud  to  carry  her  last  name  !

sammy  always  felt  the  weight  of  never  wanting  to  be  an  extra  burden  to  his  mother  and  learned  to  really  be  self-sufficient  ,  likely  explaining  his  satisfaction  with  being  so  alone  

he  vaguely  remembers  the  night  his  life  changed  in  middle  school  ,  the  hushed  strained  whisper  from  the  living  room  ,  he’s  your  god  damned  son  too  ,  think  about  him  for  once  in  your  fucking  life  .  it  hit  like  a  fucking  train  once  the  story  picked  up  ,  5  time  nfl  superbowl  champ  father  to  secret  love  child  .  think  arnold  schwarznegger’s  secret  son  level  scandal  !  suddenly  his  shithead  of  a  dead  is  trying  to  salvage  his  image  ,  fighting  for  split  custody  arrangements  ,  telling  the  press  how  much  in  child  support  he  payed  ,  anything  to  save  his  ass

this  is  the  first  time  samson  remembers  being  fueled  by  rage  in  his  life  ,  as  a  relatively  well-tempered  child  ,  the  injustice  of  having  this  near-stranger  try  to  be  a  “  DAD  ” to  him  while  shitting  all  over  his  mother’s  name  made  his  fucking  blood  boil  and  becomes  a  theme  for  his  future

he  spends  the  next  chapters  of  his  life  going  to  the  fancy  private  schools  in  new  york  his  dad  picks  for  him  and  tearing  his  tie  off  on  the  ratty  bus  ride  into  the  bronx  to  go  home  to  his  mom  .  he  hates  having  to  haul  ass  back  and  forth  ,  wishing  he  could  stay  with  the  only  family  he’s  actually  given  a  shit  about  ,  but  bears  it  for  the  sake  of  not  causing  his  mom  any  more  torment  .  his  father  is  as  awful  as  could  be  imagined  ,  and  samson  hates  every  second  of  existing  with  him  ,  the  snarky  little  comments  at  school  and  in  the  ritzy  wealthy  circles  that  make  him  feel  more  of  a  black  sheep  than  he  ever  asked  to  be

this  becomes  the  root  of  his  anxiety  ,  bearing  the  weight  of  the  world’s  expectations  on  his  young  shoulders  and  repressing  his  own  needs  and  desires  as  a  result  .  he  goes  into  every  sport  imaginable  ,  his  father’s  DNA  being  increasingly  difficult  to  deny  ,  but  finds  a  particular  talent  with  fighting  and  takes  on  as  many  fighting  styles  as  he’s  able  to  master

turning  18  should  mean  freedom  for  sam  ,  but  nothing  is  ever  as  simple  as  he  could  ask  in  his  life  .  in  order  to  keep  the  child  support  payments  that  admittedly  help  keep  his  mother  afloat  ,  his  father  asks  one  more  thing  of  samson  :  hold  off  on  his  pro  mma  dreams  for  just  a  little  longer  in  order  to  attend  his  alma  matter  ,  hollingsworth  university  ,  as  a  publicity  move  and  then  he’ll  be  out  of  sam’s  life  in  every  way  except  financially  .  with  the  dream  of  completing  college  like  his  mom  always  aspired  for  him  ,  sam  agreed  and  went  on  to  appease  the  man  one  last  time  ,  joining  his  former  fraternity  to  sweeten  the  deal  (  and  secure  a  lovely  brownstone  in  his  childhood  neighborhood  signed  in  his  mother’s  name  )  and  is  a  year  out  from  graduating  and  letting  mma  be  the  only  reason  his  name  would  ever  appear  in  the  tabloids  .

⋆ ╰    𝑨 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝒀 𝑺 𝑰 𝑺 .

personality  wise  ,  i  describe  sam  as  the  stupid  bitch  w  big  npc  energy  ,  if  u  want  him  to  talk  u  gotta  talk  to  him  first  and  even  then  he  might  just  give  u  that  hostile  stare  and  just  .. . .  remain  silent  KSDFSDF

he’s  about  as  NOT  a  people  person  as  physically  possible  ,  would  really  be  content  just  sticking  to  his  inner  circle  for  like  the  rest  of  his  life  without  concern  .  he  seems  like  this  rude  stand-offish  dick  but  the  truth  is  he’s  PAINFULLY  SHY  and  has  a  p  severe  case  of  generalized  anxiety  disorder  so  interactions  ?  w  new  ppl  ?  are  a  HARD  pass

did  i  mention  he’s  on  steriods  bc  that  def  adds  to  his  anxiety  and  hostility  !  lmao  !  he  started  juicing  in  high  school  when  his  dad  kept  pressuring  him  for  football  and  how  he  was  “  twice  your  size ”   at  that  age  ,  n  he  HATES  the  dude  but  he’s  also  lowkey  insecure  abt  his  lack  of  a  father  figure  so  ?  used  daddy’s  money  to  start  his  first  cycle  and  pay  off  to  test  clean  and  now  he’s  been  hooked  on  and  off  .  he’s  currently  starting  a  new  cycle  to  bulk  up  for  the  new  season  and  prep  for  the  2020  olympics  but  swears  he  wont  be  on  them  forever  :/

they  make  him  SUPER  aggressive  when  set  off  ,  it’s  a  decent  thing  that  sam’s  so  monotone  and  shy  that  he’s  also  pretty  laid  back  and  kinda  hard  to  rile  up  .  he  really  doesn’t  take  much  personally  and  won’t  do  a  huge  “  chest  pumped  bro  lets  do  this ”  show  bc  he  ?  thinks  all  those  guys  who  do  that  are  tools  LMAO  but  find  the  right  button  to  push  n  he’ll  become  the  very  thing  he  despises  !

if  u  can  get  past  the  literal  awkward  silence  and  resting  bitch  face  ,  sammy  is  actually  really  well  known  for  being  just  a  generally  decent  guy  .  the  perception  is  often  that  he’s  a  dick  bc  he  think’s  he’s  better  than  a  lot  of  ppl  ,  but  the  truth  is  he’s  just  too  nervous  to  start  conversations  n  most  ppl  assume  its  an  ego  thing  vs  a  “  i’m  about  to  piss  myself  thinking  abt  all  the  ways  this  convo  can  go  wrong  so  i’ll  just  not  talk  and  glare  @  u  instead  ”  thing

if  he  had  his  shit  together  he  would  definitely  qualify  as  a  dad  type  ,  but  since  he  doesn’t  ,  he  won’t  SSHSHSHSH  but  he’s  really  just  a  softie  deep  down  ,  he  has  a  stupid  as  HELL  sense  of  humor  and  is  really  objective  and  level  headed  .  the  gryffindor  in  him  is  DEEPLY  loyal  ,  like  to  the  death  ,  but  he’s  got  lots  of  hufflepuff  in  the  sense  that  he’s  really  willing  to  get  his  hands  dirty  to  help  those  in  need  .  u  need  help  moving  ?  someone  to  keep  u  company  while  u  babysit  ?  feel  nervous  walking  alone  after  class  at  night  ?  sammy  might  leave  u  on  read  if  u  text  him  bc  he’s  a  Dumb  Bitch  like  that  but  he’ll  show  up  on  the  dot  ,  hands  in  pockets  ,  exactly  where  u  asked  him  to  be  ready  to  do  what  u  asked  him  to  do  .  the  mans  is  a  super  hard  worker

he  def  still  feels  kinda  weird  at  uni  ?  he’s  p  smart  but  some  of  the  classes  unrelated  to  athletics  and  anatomy  have  given  him  a  REALLY  tough  time  (  dance  appreciation  for  his  fine  arts  credit  almost  tanked  his  gpa  LMAO  )  and  he’s  not  top  of  his  class  or  anything  but  ppl  still  try  to  talk  to  him  bc  of  the  whole  “  famous  dad  ,  future  olympian  ”  thing  ,  which  he  can  pick  up  from  a  mile  a  way  and  makes  him  super  uncomfortable  .  even  being  in  a  frat  w  a  bunch  of  old  money  rich  boys  makes  him  DEF  feel  like  the  odd  one  out  ,  and  he’s  just  counting  down  the  days  until  he’s  OUT  OF  HERE

in  conclusion  :  i  love  u  all  .  lets  suffer  together  .  :~)

#rank:intro #love u all sm :' ( #i'll have emmy's done tomorrow i hope !

[lonnyrocketreviews-blog]

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 10 Power Rankings - Ep. 1, 10s Across the Board

One episode in, and I’ve already (mostly) forgotten all about that shit show All Stars 3...but one episode in leaves plenty of time for some buffoonery, tomfoolery, and RIGGORY, so let’s just hold our breath and see what happens shall we? Let’s review some garbage tv.

14. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo I gotta say, I was rooting pretty hard for this girl pre-season. Her Meet the Queens interviews were funny, her energy is high, her personality is goddamn infectious. Just the way she talks makes me happy, and it’s unique among the S10 girls. She picked some good shit to work with this episode, but unfortunately blobbed it the fuck up. I’m sad. AND SURPRISED at how low energy her lipsync was. Considering her high energy offstage, i was expecting that floral blob to explode or something, but alas, Miss Vanjie departs first, THOUGH I would not be surprised if she comes back. RIP (for now).

13. Kalorie Karbdashian Williams I’m gonna go ahead and say that I actually really like MOST of the girls this season, which is rare. Kalorie’s name might be a mouthful (which is kinda why I thought she was gonna be leaving first, at first) and her outfit was BOring, but despite that, she’s cute as fuck and seems sweet and lovable, too.  I thought Vanjie was gonna blow her ass away, but she turned her big booty around and crushed that lipsync. You live to twerk another day, Kalorie.

12. Kameron Michaels Would Kameron Michaels have been cast if he wasn’t ‘hot’ out of drag? I had the same issues with Pearl during S7, but I came around for her.  Will I come around for Kameron, too? Show us some personality, some talent, and we’ll see.

11. Dusty Ray Bottoms I love a punk drag queen. We NEED a lot more edgy, artistic weirdos on Drag Race, but DRB doesn’t really do it for me yet. She reminds me of Acid Betty, but heavily watered down. Her entrance look was kinda lame. Her runway outfit was alright by my taste, but I’m not really living for the sickly dot face, and after getting essentially no time in Untucked I gotta feeling that Dusty Ray will be in the bottom before long.

10. Asia O’Hara Truly stunning. I would kill someone for those teeth, but aside from that, she kinda fell (or was edited) into the background today. Her runway outfit was a lot. Now I like a Lashawn/Ornacia moment but the rest was Jiggly Caliente.  Her temperament was eclipsed by the likes of Monique and the Vixen, which doesn’t bode well for more time on the show. I also haven’t fully recovered from her Meet the Queens nightmare wig. Sorry, girl. That shit was roadkill.

9. The Vixen I don’t know how to feel yet. I hated her entrance look. I didn’t really like her runway look, either. I know what kinda work went into that intricate pool noodlery, but it came out looking a bit small...underwhelming I guess. I might’ve put her lower but she seems to be out for blood in Untucked, and if this bitch is gonna spearhead the “Let’s not be like the Season 9 Best Friend Race” then I say keep her around. The Vixen = The Villain? We’ll seeeeeeee...

Sidebar: people wanna talk about Kameron as the trade of the season...did you SEE the Vixen outta drag? Gimme some of that pls. 8. Aquaria The Ariana Grande of drag. She’s cute as a button but enunciates like her mouth is sewn half shut. Apparently she’s got a big following. Hell, I’d heard of her before S10 and she’s only like 22. This might pull her forward...past her expiration date. Look, I love an aspiring drag artist. I’ve seen some of her work and shows on Youtube and stuff and the girl is talented, but on THIS one episode and her MTQ, it was a little meh for me. Despite this annoying “Aquaria vs. Cracker” narrative, I think the latter outclasses her completely, but she’s got like 10 fuckin years on her. Aquaria is cool, like Pearl, but I dunno if it’s her time. Maybe needs some finessing. The personality and humor aren’t showing for me yet. Good luck in the comedy challenges darlin. Your outfits were neat. 7. Monique Heart We’re getting into the territory where I wanna put everyone in the highest ranks, but numbers are things and math is stuff, so be it. Monique Heart has a lot of good shit. Shes spunky, shes energetic, fun, etc. Queens like her and Vanjie make the show exciting.  I do think she stood out and I’m moderately surprised that she wasn’t in the top.  Her outfit was cool as fuck and her makeup was EXCELLENT. I think she did a knockout job, but because of a lack of narrative they gave her, I’m not sure if she’ll last longer than the others.  I can’t even remember where she’s from.

6. Yuhua Hamasaki Like Vanessa, I’m captivated by this drag queen.  She’s got the personality, she’s got the looks, shes crafty, she’s fun, and she did pretty well this episode. Also can I just say that out of drag...that’s an entire female woman right there. Ok. I like her, but like Monique, I didn’t get a lot of narrative from her this episode other than she’s a Chinese girl cosplaying as Japanese. Huh.

5. Blair St. Clair I have mixed feelings about putting Blair this high, because she really didn’t talk a ton, but I’m landing her here because, like the judges said, I feel like there’s something about her that’s special and exciting.  She’s an underdog - from Indianapolis, young but old school style (contrasts Aquaria big time). This makes for a good storyline. Yeah, maybe she reminds us of Jinkx Monsoon so it’s not exactly a brand-new storyline, but she seems sweet and her runway look was cool as fuck. I’m the most excited to see what Blair St. Clair pulls out next.  Also, out of drag, woman, girl, ladylookaliker. Cute af.

4. Monet X Change A New York powerhouse performer. Queens like this are why NYC has such a huge representation every year. Her runway outfit was kinda bad, but she has the personality, charisma, wit, and sense of humor needed to win this stupid show. A lotta people have their eyes on Monet as their pick to win, but I can’t personally say much more until I see more.

3. Eureka Eureka may not have been in the top this episode, but she sure seemed like she got the most screen time, so much so that I said to myself “Eureka is the main character of this season.”  THE MAIN CHARACTER. People have been calling for a fat queen to win since forever (please, finally), and Eureka might just be the one to do it.  Plus she has this triumphant recovery return narrative going for her already. Judging from storyline alone, Eureka is poised to land in the top 3, if not win the whole shebang.

2. Mayhem Miller I’m saying it with everyone else. FINALLY Mayhem got onto this damn show, and what a start. Popular, great attitude and a win under her belt right out the gate, Mayhem is set up to go far, but being in the lead puts a lotta pressure to keep up the pace, and she’s got some serious competition. ...Now if we could just get Vicky Vox and Rhea Litre...

1. Miz Cracker Drag race winners have ONE thing in common: they’re smart (well, mostly). Sharp wit, great eye for design (I thought she was gonna win over Mayhem’s handsy dress), and a top spot in episode 1, Cracker’s going far for sure. She already seems to be an early fan favorite. The only thing I don’t like about her is the fact that she changed her name from Breanna Cracker. That shit’s hilarious. Again, I’m not interested in the Aquaria vs. Cracker nonsense. Yeah they REALLY look alike, but the future fighting will no doubt feel forced, and I think Breanna might be above it. They might pit them against each other in a lipsync or something, which might not bode well for Cracker, but she seems to be able to dance, or at least cartwheel. That’s more than Bianca can say. All in all I think Miz Cracker gave the strongest showing this episode by a fair margin, and is my current pick to win.

Anydangway, thanks for reading this, if you did.  All of the above words are my opinion alone, but are also facts and I am infallible and never wrong.  I love and hate this show, but was so entranced and excited enough today to start a goddamn review blog about it. Ugh..... I need a shower.

Shoutout to a tumblr blog from a while back called lordthundercox (or something like that) who reviewed RPDR season 7 in this format and it gave me life and inspired me to do one myself.

See y’all next week

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