#gotta be able to afford that out-of-state tuition my friends

[sufferthesea]

Writing Commissions: OPEN

Hey friends! I’m officially opening my writing commissions and have a proper commission sheet for it! For examples of my writing you can check out my stories on Tumblr (under “/tagged/akimi.writes”) or my AO3 (username: akimikono). 💖 Most info will be under the cut! 

Reblogs are appreciated!! Thank you!! xx 💖💖💖💖💖

*** PRICES *** 

I try to keep my prices fair to what others can afford and what I need for school, moving, etc. Prices will vary by request. All money is U.S. Dollars.

The GENERAL cost will look something like:

UPDATE: All HCs and fics under 2k words are now part of free requests!

$10 USD: 2,000-5,000 words

$20 USD: 5,001-10,000 words

$30 USD: 10,001-20,000 words

$40 USD: 20,001-30,000 words

$50 USD: 30,001-40,000 words

$60 USD: 40,001-50,000 words

$70+ USD: 50,001+ words

Prices over $70 can be negotiated depending on prompt, number of characters, etc.

You will NOT be charged extra if I accidentally go over the general word count that we agreed on for payment.

You can message me through Tumblr or email me (PM me for my business email), depending on what’s easiest for you!

You are welcome to share the stories/headcanons on other sites, but please give me proper credit (name and/or username)!

*** FANDOMS I WRITE FOR ***

RWBY

Naruto

Breaking Bad

Sons of Anarchy

Law & Order: SVU

The X-Files

Star Wars (first 6 films) 

Harry Potter

Lord of the Rings

Welcome to Night Vale

Gravity Falls

Hellboy

The Evil Within 

Alien(s) franchise

Tim Burton universe

Horror movies

Certain musicals

Tom Hiddleston characters

Ben Mendelsohn characters

Raúl Esparza characters 

Feel free to ask if I write for anything/anyone else!

*** NO, I WILL NOT WRITE … ***

Total NSFW / Graphic sex scenes

No bashing canon characters, canon ships, or fanon ships

Incest/Paedo ships

Underage ships, unless it’s a historical AU and it’s necessary to the plot

Mpreg

Ableist/Racist/Sexist/etc in a positive light 

Pro-Abuse or Pro-Sexual Assault (any abuse or rape fics will be about recovery only) 

*** YES, I WILL WRITE … ***

Canon x Canon, Canon x OC, and Canon x Reader.

Non-ship fics are also welcome!

Character x Android, Character x Humanoid Monster 

OCs can be Android, Mythological creatures, Humanoid monsters, etc.

Age gap

AUs welcome!! Fantasy, horror, modern, etc. I love AUs!

Ships! Crack ships! Rare pairs! OTPs!

Adult student x Teacher okay! 

I am comfortable writing recovery fics, disability fics, mental illness fics, etc.

Gore, violence, blood, death, horror, etc. 

Pretty much all het ships are okay (sans incest or paedo) 

*** I MIGHT WRITE … ***

Real people fics (please ask first, though; I may decline depending on the prompt/celebrity, since some celebs have asked that people do NOT write about them) 

Enby/Agender characters (I’m not part of the LGBT+ community and if I feel like I can’t properly represent them or write for them, then I’ll deny the request)

M/M, F/F (Again, I’m not part of the LGBT+ community so if I feel like I can’t write it properly, I might deny the request) 

*** RULES ***

The story or headcanons will not be written until I receive payment.

Headcanons will be written within 24-48 hours of receiving payment.

Payment will be through PayPal or PayPal.Me only.

No refunds! Since you can’t return this particular service, I can’t do refunds. However, if you don’t like how something was written then we can discuss it and try to make it right.

Stories will be written within a month of the time you pay me and once we decide on a prompt.

Only headcanons will be posted on my blog. All stories will be saved as a PDF and shared with you via Google Drive.

I cannot give you daily updates of your commission since I have other obligations in real life, such as school.

Once we settle on a plot and price, I cannot change the story drastically or add many more details later on.

If I feel like I cannot complete a prompt and don’t want to waste your money, I will decline to write it. I also may decline to write something that’s too OOC for the character(s) chosen.

I am comfortable being given creative freedom with your story, but a basic plot summary and characters you’d like included would really help.

For OC and Reader-Insert: Please let me know the gender of the OC/reader, or else an unspecified character will be referred to as “they/them”. Please also let me know if you would like the story written in 1st (“I walked to the stove”), 2nd (“You walked to the stove”), or 3rd person (“Dahlia walked to the stove”).

*** ABOUT OCs ***

Tell me about them!! I will need a lot of information about them if I am going to be writing about them! It can be embarrassing at times to talk about our OCs, but don’t be embarrassed about it! I’d love to hear about them and write about them.

I can’t talk with you for hours and hours about your OC, but I will need basic things like background info, physical characteristics and appearance, personality traits, teammates, etc.

If your OC causes another canon character to act too OOC, I may suggest we tweak some things to get the story right.

I won’t be able to write more than 1 or 2 OCs in-depth in the story. While other OCs may be mentioned in passing, such as family, they won’t be as fleshed out or as featured as the main OC you’ve chosen for the story. Exceptions are 3-person and 4-person teams.

Note: I reserve the right to refuse any commission without an explanation. 

#writing commission #naruto #rwby #sons of anarchy #breaking bad #star wars #law and order #lord of the rings #wtnv #gravity falls #commissions open #akimi.txt #i tried to keep the prices low lol #gotta be able to afford that out-of-state tuition my friends #also gotta buy baby gifts for my sister #(':

[lyssismagical]

evermore

Just a Solid Vent Fic 

I wanna do 30 days of Taylor Swift-inspired fics (folklore and evermore) lmao but idk yet we’ll see lemme know tho 

 *

As a compromise for Tony not being able to pay Peter’s tuition to MIT thanks to his full ride, Tony bought an apartment right beside campus for Peter to live in, to ensure no awkward adventures trying to be Spider-Man with a roommate.

Peter’s still adamant about getting a job and paying for his food, phone bill, and any other things like clothing or entertainment.

And balancing classes, patrolling, and a job, isn’t easy, of course. But it’s always been better for him to work hard than to give himself time to think. It’s not like his mental health is on hold, but it’s easier to put it aside when he’s got so much to do all the time.

It doesn’t help that he’s also on the debate team thanks to MJ, and in the robotics club thanks to Ned.

When November rolls around and it brings the final projects, Peter pushes himself to the limit to keep up with everything.

He starts dropping his sleep to only a nap whenever he can squeeze it in, working all afternoon, classes all morning, and Spider-Man all night, and he starts making up excuses for anything that isn’t a number one priority.

He stops seeing his friends, stops calling May back, stops replying to Tony’s worried texts, stops helping out with his professors or the librarian or his classmates. He stops cleaning his apartment, letting dishes pile up on the counters and laundry go unwashed.

It’s bad, and he knows that, rationally and logically, he knows.

But that doesn’t stop him from doing it anyway.

Three weeks, he tells himself.

And he keeps pushing.

MJ shows up at his apartment out of the blue when he’s studying away, and he barely manages to clear the fog in his head to stumble for the door.

“I can’t talk right now,” he says before she can even say hello. “I’ve gotta study for my physics exam.”

“No, you’ve gotta chill the fuck out.”

He shakes his head, leaving the door open as he turns his back and heads into his kitchen for a quick snack so he can get back to his work. “No, I have to study.”

“Oh my god, you live in a garbage dump,” she says, eyes going wide as she takes in the state of his apartment. “When was the last time you washed a dish? Or, gross, your hair?”

He doesn’t bother responding, rolling his eyes and downing a protein bar. “Two weeks, now, and then I’m done for a month.”

“At this rate, I don’t know if you’ll make it through the next two weeks.”

Peter can’t help but roll his eyes again, part of him hating how much he’s lashing out despite wanting help, needing help, but unable to find the strength to stop it from happening as he brushes past her again.

“I know you’re stressed, I know you’re anxious about exams and papers and labs, but, seriously, Peter?” she says, following him to where he’s working in the living room, papers and binders and textbooks strewn across every surface. “You’re a genius, okay? You’ve been getting excellent grades all year. The only reason you might not do well on these projects is because you’re working yourself to death.”

He shakes his head, feeling very suddenly like he might cry. “It’s not that easy. Just… I don’t want to deal with this right now, okay?”

MJ doesn’t take that as a good answer, though, sitting beside him on the old couch. “I know you, okay? I know you better than most people do. I’ve seen you in some of the worst states you’ve been in. I know this. You can’t pretend that this is okay or normal or that this is you doing fine. I don’t believe it for a second.”

He opens his mouth to fight back, to argue, to try to convince her otherwise, or maybe just to kick her out. But he hesitates.

After the Snap’s reversal, she was the one who devoted all her time to taking care of him. He was such a mess of PTSD and depression and emptiness, but she was there. She kept the lights on for him, she brought him food and water, held him after nightmares, talked him down from panic attacks every other day. She was there, despite everything, she was always there.

Tony was too far and he never wanted to bother May, so he regularly would drop by her fire escape where she would patch him up after patrols, and occasionally, let him sleep next to her and make sure to get him to school on time.

She’s always been there.

She’s held him together, kept him sane, helped him through it all.

It wouldn’t be fair to get pissed.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, shoving a hand through his mess of greasy, tangled curls. “I’m such a mess, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I just… I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I’m drowning.”

And she nods because she’s always understood, always known what he means. She puts her hand over his. “You deserve a nap. C’mon.”

He goes to shake his head, looking to where his lab is only half-done, he’s only a few chapters into the textbook to get prepared for his exam, rough notes scribbled out for a paper.

“No, c’mon. You’re taking a nice nap. You deserve it,” she repeats, tugging more insistently at his wrist.

But he shakes his head this time, pulling his hand away. “If I stop, I won’t be able to start again.”

“Peter-”

“I’m serious, if I take a nap or a break or take a second to breathe, I will crumble and I won’t be able to put myself back together in time for these due dates. I won’t get back up. I just-” He stops, taking a deep breath and rubbing at his wet eyes. “I need to keep pushing for the next two weeks and then I can fall apart.”

MJ shakes her head, fingers wrapping around his thin wrist. “That’s not healthy. And it certainly wouldn’t be right for me to let you do that.”

“I’ll fail my classes if I don’t do well on these assignments and exams. I need to keep going. I know it’s bad, but if I get into bed, I will fall into a slump and I won’t get anything done.”

Surprising both him and what seems like herself, she nods, holding onto him a little tighter like he’ll disappear before her very eyes. “Fine. But I’m going to stay here with you and make sure you don’t die over the next two weeks, alright? And you have to listen when I tell you to eat or watch stupid reality TV shows with me.”

He hums out an agreement, letting himself slump into her side, eyes focusing in on his mess of homework laid out before him.

“Come on. Step one, is getting you showered and in clean clothes because you smell like you spent the night in a dumpster.”

*

MJ does exactly as she promised she would. She calls it a ‘mental health sleepover’ and they set up camp in the living room.

She calls in sick for him at work for most of the week, telling them that he caught the flu and wouldn’t be back until after his exams, and even then, he’d already booked most of Winter Break off to go home to New York.

There wasn’t much she could do, in all honesty, it wasn’t like she could force him to sleep or take a break without a fight, but she could make him healthy meals and stop him from going out patrolling, which was enough to take a big load off his shoulders.

And she occasionally can convince him to watch those dumb reality TV shows, which occasionally makes him fall asleep on the couch for at least an hour or two.

It helps, of course, but it doesn’t solve any of the problems.

As soon as he’s finished exams, he’s going to drop, he’s going to fall, he’s going to drown, let the waves take him.

And nobody will be able to help him then.

“I booked your flight home,” MJ says over dinner and while he’s finishing up his lab report. “My flight’s a few hours after yours, so I’ll be with you until you board and then the Starks will pick you up.”

“Thanks. I really owe you one,” he says, only half-listening as he starts on his paper.

She grabs him by his shoulder and makes him turn to her laptop screen. “Say yes to the dress time. Your paper can wait a bit.”

“There’s only so much I can procrastinate,” he says but he’s already closing his laptop and tucking himself into her side, and shoulders finally relaxing.

She starts the episode, on a low volume, and presses a quick kiss to his temple.

By the time they’re onto the second episode, Peter’s slurring out his insults to the dresses some of the women pick, making fun of the different styles, and blinking getting longer and longer.

“That neckline?” Peter goes, giggling into MJ’s shoulder. “Especially with those shoes?”

“You’re a bitch.”

“I know, but seriously?” he laughs again, a little window into the person he once was. “I mean the first option wasn’t bad, but the choice of a grey dress in the first place…”

MJ’s voice goes all soft and gentle when she next speaks up, “Come on, go to sleep, you can afford to take a little break.”

And he nods sleepily against her shoulder, tucking himself just a little closer, making himself small against her side. It’s simple, for now.

*

As soon as he’s done his last exam, he can feel the adrenaline wearing off, disappearing from within him, all energy draining from his very veins.

He goes straight home afterwards, ignoring everybody who tries to stop him for a chat. And as soon as he makes it to his apartment, he goes straight to bed, tugging the sheets right over his head.

He shouldn’t do this, he knows. He should call MJ, ask that she drop everything for him again because he can feel himself slipping, but he won’t. He can’t. He doesn’t even know when the last time he saw his phone was, let alone have the effort to leave his blankets and try to find it. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t have it in him to care.

He feels empty and exhausted and strung out. Carved hollow. Putting everything he has into the past few months, he feels like he has nothing left to give.

There’s a knock on his front door, but he doesn’t move.

A few minutes later, his phone rings, somewhere in another part of the apartment. It rings again and again, a symphony for him to pass out to.

*

Time passes strangely when he’s this deep in a depressive episode. He doesn’t know how long he’s been huddled under his blankets, hiding from the world. It could’ve been anywhere between a couple hours and a few days, he doesn’t know.

His phone continues ringing, far away and echoing through his dreams, tears sliding down his cheeks at random intervals, hands trembling where they’re tucked under his chest.

He feels like he’s drifting away, collapsing into himself, fading away into nothingness.

He feels empty, hollow, gone.

He gave everything he had into school and work over the course of four months, and he has nothing left to give anymore. He’s nothing more than an empty well.

And he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to pull himself together, pack, get a flight home, and pretend to be one hundred percent for Morgan.

He’d rather just die here, in this cave he’s built, ghost-like and fading away already, than have to face another soul.

*

When he hears his front door unlocking, he knows he should be worried. Nobody has a spare copy of his key except for Ned, who already went home to New York a few weeks back.

He knows it should be at least a little concerning that somebody is breaking into his apartment, but he can’t find it in him to care. He doesn’t have the energy to move or hide or try to protect himself.

He just curls up a little tighter and hopes that this won’t be his last day.

“Peter?”

He lifts his head, just enough to see over his cave of his blankets.

And standing in his bedroom doorway is Tony.

“Hi,” he breathes, curling up a little tighter, knowing he’s safe.

Tony slips into his room and sits at the end of his bed, one hand on Peter’s ankle. “MJ called when you wouldn’t answer your phone or let her in. She knew something was up.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I saw something like this coming after you finished your senior year and spent two weeks sick and depressed. I thought you’d be home in time before you started feeling so run down, but I guess I was wrong.”

Peter doesn’t know how he’s supposed to respond to that, so instead he lets his head fall into the pillows again.

“I’m not going to make you do anything yet, I think you could use a bit more time here. Though, Morgan thought two days sleeping was plenty, I think another one might do you well. But tomorrow, we’re going to get you fed and showered and your apartment clean, and then this weekend, we’ll get a flight home. Sound good?”

He nods, though he’s pretty sure he would agree to pretty much anything so long as the decisions are taken out of his hands.

“Come here,” Tony murmurs, sliding into the space beside Peter, arms open. Peter finally feels at home when he crawls into the awaiting hug. “MJ mentioned Say Yes to the Dress bingeing, you feel up for making fun of more dress choices?”

Peter laughs half-heartedly against Tony’s chest, tucking himself into him like a child would, and nods, breathing in the soothing scent of motor oil and expensive cologne.

He knows he’ll fall apart again, he knows that it’s not going to be a permanent solution, but the time being, he has Tony’s arms around him, a reality TV show quietly keeping them company, and the relief of having time to feel miserable before he has to pick himself up, it’s enough for now. It’ll be enough.

He’ll be okay with people like Tony and MJ at his side.

He’ll be okay.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @fancyxparker  @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @misskirkstark @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 @loveliestdisappointment @joyful-soul-collector @genderfluid-and-confuzled @fallenstar07 @gyurolls @sdottkrames {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

#lyss writes #irondad #peter parker #tony stark #michelle jones #mjpeter #spideychelle #if you want #platonic or romantic idc #irondad and spiderson #irondad fic #spiderman #iron man #tw mental illness #tw depression #tw university #lmao i feel like i need to include that just in case other people don't even want to hear about it anymore #tw dissociation

[areiton]

End of Year Recs - 2019

It’s the end of year fic round up time--and this year I’m doing things a little different. I’m gonna do my favorite two fic for each ship or gen pairing I really enjoyed this year, and then (up to) five honorable mentions. 

So here--without particular order, my faves from the year!! Also this is long as hell so hit read more for...more... 

Irondad

we’re gonna have to do this together by edibna (Irondad | MCU)

Being a superhero sometimes means you forget about the small dangers in the world, like disease. For Peter, this means he loses May to natural causes, not something he could ever save her from.

Unknown to him, May left custody of Peter in the hands of Tony Stark, who, even though he wants kids, has no idea how to actually raise one. With a grieving superhero teenager on his hands, Tony is going to have to figure it out quick, if he wants Peter to ever be able to move on and be happy.

Webcams and Webshooters by losingmymindtonight (Irondad | MCU)

Once Peter's relationship with Tony gets out, the public can't get enough of their new favorite father-son duo.

So, naturally, they monopolize.

(Or: Tony and Peter's relationship, as seen through videos.)

Honorable Mentions:

Put out every star

Holdfasts

i'm the satellite (And you're the sky)

stars, hide your fires

miscommunications

 ~*~*~ 

Winteriron

fractures (filled) with liquid gold by itsallAvengers (Winteriron | MCU)

Ultron happened. The Avengers left.

Tony is fine with being alone again. He always worked better as a Lone Wolf than a team player anyway. He's not sleeping or eating or resting or... living, but it's fine. It's good. It's okay.

And then there's James.

illuminate me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory (Winteriron | MCU)

Tony isn't a healthy man. He's fine with that, really. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, he has a job to do that kind of has his health as a major requirement. So he unmakes himself, remakes the Accords, protects every single child super that enters his field of view, and hopes ferociously that the Avengers never come back to the US. He doesn't spend any time at all rebuilding Bucky Barnes' life. Not a single second. Anything he does that contributes to him is simply an accident.

Bucky is a patient man. It's ok if Tony wants to ignore him for now. He won't be able to forever.

(Somewhere in the world, a sense of dread crawls up the back of Tony's spine)

Honorable Mentions:

a street corner in Cambridge

does it hurt

the road less traveled at the end of the line

scars

looking at you

 ~*~*~

Sambucky

winter, sweetheart by wilsonsnest (Sambucky | MCU)

To know the Falcon’s identity feels surreal to Bucky. It means nothing. As far as Hydra was concerned, Sam Wilson was erased. He has only ever been The Falcon and to Bucky he’s always been Sweetheart.

we could jump state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard (Sambucky | MCU)

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

Honorable Mentions:

seek out hidden places

not an end, but (the start of all things)

cancel all your reservations (no more hesitations)

they gave you a heart, they gave you a name

you touch me within and so I (i know I could be human once again)

 ~*~*~

Starker

Stipulations by anonymous (Starker | MCU )

Peter Parker’s longterm dream recently went from ‘get into MIT’ to ‘afford going to MIT’. As the time approaches, it’s dawning on him that he won’t be able to pay his tuition and afford the move to Cambridge all at once: he’s out of money, his secrets are beginning to pile up, and desperation has started creeping in...

And then one night, he saves Tony Stark’s life.

mr. hurricane by spqr (Starker | MCU)

Peter makes it to the ripe old age of 26 without anyone finding out he’s Spider-Man. And then he falls asleep during a B&E at Stark Tower, and the rest is—well, the rest is this.

Honorable Mentions:

Both Ways

breaking point

velvet elvis

the leash

left hand free

~*~*~

Thorki

along a deserted highway by trieduntrue (Thorki | MCU)

The events of Thor (2011) take a different turn when both Thor and Loki are sent to Midgard without their powers as punishment for their misdeeds. With nothing except each other, they go on a journey to reclaim Mjolnir together.

soft shocks by stereobone (Thorki | MCU)

"And why," says Thor, "would I need to come with you to Jötunheim?"

"Ah, well," Loki says. "They may be under the impression that we're married."

Honorable Mentions:

How Long We Were Fooled

we spent our darkest days howling at the moon

~*~*~

Ironhusbands

touch the sky by scrollgirl (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Jamie Rhodes wouldn't be who she is today without her friendship with Tony Stark. The flip side of that is Tony Stark wouldn't be Iron Man without the twenty-five years he's been in love with her.

twenty five years by Not Applicable (Ironhusbands | MCU)

Nobody knows how long this has actually been going on. (Tony Stark has pretty much been in a monogamous relationship since he was 18 years old.)

Honorable Mentions:

a date on the moon

home for the non-holidays

reconstruction

pretend we're in love (the heartache still hurts)

i place your hands around my neck

 ~*~*~

Winterhawk

silhouette by mariana_oconnor (Winterhawk | MCU)

After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.

On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated.

nameless by AvaKelly (Winterhawk | MCU)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Honorable Mentions:

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars

clint barton's super secret snipers' club

lucky in love

i'll keep you safe here with me

complications

~*~*~

RPF

the end of the missing by eadunne2 (Evanstan | MCU RPF)

Sebastian remembers this from before, Chris’s physicality, remembers shoving and tripping one another, and hugs that lingered. It had been silly, friendly, until some vague, unspoken moment towards the end of filming when their relationship had changed again - Chris circling Sebastian’s wrist with his hand, or a palm to his lower back, only on rough days, only when Chris noticed him tensing up against unpleasantness in his own mind. At first Seb wanted to apologize, brokenness is a tiresome trait, but the actions seem to calm Chris too, ease his busy brain. When they lost touch Seb pretended not to miss it; he wouldn’t have had a chance to anyway, right? - with two dozen excellent fuck buddies all over the globe. Weird how they all had blue eyes though.

I would lose my decadence (for your love) by deadhearts (Stackie | MCU RPF)

The thing of it was that Mackie had just been trying to make a point. He'd just been trying to shut him up, or to make something clear, and he'd done what he'd set out to do. Sebastian had been well and properly put in his place. He'd been put in his place so well that Mackie had never touched him again, not in that way, because he'd never had the need: whatever question he'd been asking had been so thoroughly and roundly answered that there wasn't any need to ask it twice.

Honorable Mentions:

Like O, Like H

when you kiss me i just gotta say (baby i love you)

cross the line

fine until you're not

 ~*~*~

Stucky

ain’t no grave (can keep my body down) by spitandvinegar (Stucky | MCU)

It's six in the morning, and Steve is heading out on a run when he nearly trips over a bouquet of sunflowers on the front steps of his brownstone.

For a second paranoia takes over, and he kicks the flowers a little, waiting for them to explode. They don't. They also came with a card, which he picks up. The front of the card has a tasteful picture of the Brooklyn bridge at sunset. It's very nice and sedate, like the kind of card you would buy to give to your boss. On the inside someone has written a short message in big, shaky block letters.

I AM SORRY FOR SHOOTING YOU.

Steve sits down hard on the steps.

there should be stars by childhoodinfamy (Stucky | MCU)

“All memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.

But sometimes there were good times.

Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep

beside me and never dreamed afraid.

There should be stars for great wars

like ours. There ought to be awards

and plenty of champagne for the survivors.”

- Sandra Cisneros

 Or, it takes them decades.

Honorable Mentions:

This, you protect

little animal lives

the long game

a long winter

the art of cooking for two

 ~*~*~

Stony

never too late for love by Sineala (Stony | MCU)

Steve has always believed that a soulbond is a blessing -- a rare and beautiful miracle, joining the thoughts and feelings of two people forever, from the first time they touch. Steve knows he's not going to be one of the lucky ones. He knows Gail isn't his soulmate. But he loves her, even if they're not soulmates, and he's going to do right by her. After the war's over, he's going to marry her, and they're going to settle down. They'll buy a house. They'll have children. He'll see his family again. Maybe Bucky will live next door. It's going to be a good life. He doesn't need a soulbond. He'll be fine without one.

Then Steve wakes up sixty years in the future to find that his wonderful life has moved on without him. His family is long dead. His fiancée married his best friend. And the only purpose he has left is leading the Ultimates, a misbegotten team of superheroes with flaws too numerous to count. Steve hates everything about the future -- but most of all he detests Tony, flashy and flirtatious, who embodies everything Steve hates about a world he never wanted to live in.

And, oh, yeah, Steve has a soulmate after all: Tony fucking Stark.

wait and sea by lenalena (Stony | MCU)

In which Tony and Steve get sent on an undercover mission aboard a cruise ship to make contact with Hydra. In this AU the military has kept the discovery and defrosting of Captain America a secret, so Steve and Tony have never met before. Yet they are to pose as newlyweds....

Honorable Mentions:

celestial navigation

the song without words

dear mr fantasy

slipping off the page into your hands

the twice-told tale

~*~*~

Stuckony

hide a heart of war by  Hummingbird_52 (Stuckony | MCU)

“You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

the stories we write by NotEvenCloseToStraight (Stuckony | MCU)

A question at an interview leads to Steve and Bucky discovering fan fiction, and after piles of coffeeshop au's and fake dating tropes (and screaming over ABO fics) they find an author that writes some of the best fics they've ever read-- reader inserts starring a dark haired, dark eyed male reader as their shared love interest.

The platonic fics are heartfelt and sweet, the smutty fics have them tearing their clothes off to act out scenes, the soulmate fics have them crying over the true love that so often ends with the Reader passing away and Stucky being left behind.

Then one day, a fic posts with a scene taken right out of their lives, one that happened right there in the Tower, entirely the same right up until they take the Reader to bed.

Bucky is the one to realize the writer is Tony.

Steve is the one to suggest writing fics of their own to show Tony they return his feelings.

Writing fics to show an author you're in love? What could possibly go wrong?

Honorable Mentions:

eagles

branded

imagine you and you (and you) and me

#arei reads fic #stony #stucky #sambucky #irondad #starker #winterhawk #winteriron #MCU RPF #stuckony #ironhusbands #thorki

[judgmentofcorruption]

Episode 1–The Boy Embraces His Ambition; Scene 4

Judgment of Corruption, pages 36-44

I didn’t know with what intentions Hanma had done that.

I could say it was a mystery, but also that it was appropriate.

He had originally sought to protect Gandalf’s status. It just hadn’t been what Gandalf wanted.

--I wonder what Hanma thought when he learned that Gandalf’s son wanted to join the Dark Star Bureau.

Of course, I can’t know that.

I can fly around the world and observe it freely, but I cannot see into the minds of mankind.

…That’s why it’s so interesting.

.

Anyway, Gallerian (and Loki) were soundly accepted into the Dark Star Bureau, and the day came that they graduated from college.

The night after graduation had finished, the customary graduation party was held by the students that were still enrolled.

“Congratulations, graduates…Cheers!”

After the class representative gave their speech, the party began.

Their party venue was the former Asayev estate inside the Levin University grounds. It was a mansion that had once belonged to a man who had staged a revolt against the Levin church that he had belonged to, and so it had long been abandoned, reviled for its history. It had been bought out as one of Levin University’s facilities when it was founded, and after some repairs it started being used as a multipurpose hall.

To the students, this hall, where one could feel a historical refinement without gaudy ostentation, was the perfect place to be holding the party.

Graduates wearing dazzling clothing mingled with the enrolled students, all of them bustling with excitement as they enjoyed food and drink. There were many people who were dancing to the fashionable music that could be heard coming from the gramophone.

It was comparatively simple to find Gallerian in this vigorous crowd. His characteristic blue hair stood out even looking from the ceiling.

Gallerian was wearing an outfit that was a little plainer than everyone else’s, made of cheap black cloth, and nursing an orange juice alone in a corner of the hall.

Almost all of the students that attended Levin University were raised in affluent families. Gallerian wasn’t an exception to that, but in truth, despite the pedigree of the Marlon family line his household wasn’t one that had a lot of means, financially speaking (at least, compared to the other students).

Despite once being the royal family, this was a state of affairs that had begun several generations back. His great-great-grandmother built up a fortune, and then his great-grandfather had built the Dark Star Bureau. Everything had been fine around that period, but then his grandfather had failed in a gold excavation enterprise in the continent of Maistia and lost a substantial amount of their inheritance. After his father Gandalf quit the Dark Star Bureau he spent his life in Marlon simply using up the money that they had left, hardly taking on any real work. Apparently they just barely managed to scrape up enough money for Gallerian’s tuition.

Whether Gallerian had a complex about his circumstances or he simply preferred to be alone, in any case he didn’t have a lot of friends in the university.

Loki was an exception, but he was currently in the middle of having fun dancing with his girlfriend Mira. Gallerian drank up his remaining orange juice as he watched the two of them from afar.

“You want a refill?”

A man walked up to him, holding a bottle of orange juice in hand.

“Yeah…Thanks, Tony.”

Gallerian held out his glass, and Tony poured juice into it.

“Congratulations on graduating, Gallerian…The room’s gonna be lonely with you gone,” Tony said, standing next to him.

Tony Ausdin was Gallerian’s roommate. He was about four years older than him, but hadn’t been able to graduate this year. Though, that was less a matter of him being a bad student, and more just that Gallerian was that exceptional.

“Graduating from Levin University at age fourteen, not to mention passing the entrance exam to the Dark Star Bureau in one try…You really are a prodigy. Unlike me,” Tony said, speaking in a tone that was neither sarcastic nor disagreeable, but rather honestly showing his respect.

“Oh no…it’s really not a big deal—”

“Quit being so modest. I’m getting miserable here. Sigh…I wonder when I’ll be able to graduate…”

“How are your credits?”

“Well…I guess they’re ‘secure’ for now. Unlike you I didn’t get into the university with a lot of determination. I don’t think what I’ve studied is gonna be all that useful to me once I graduate…I really only came here to give some prestige to my career, after all.”

In contrast to Tony’s sighing, Gallerian smiled a little. “I fear for where this country is headed, with our future general in such a state.”

“’General’, huh…Just because my father was doesn’t mean I’ve gotta follow in his stead…I’ve got no inclination towards joining the army to begin with…”

“Ha ha ha. You couldn’t even hurt a fly.”

“Pretty much. If you can even call it an army nowadays. Thanks to the USE framework there are hardly any wars between countries anymore. Even non-member nations Asmodean and Beelzenia aren’t stupid enough to pick a fight they won’t win. In a society like this there’s no point in going out of your way to become a soldier.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t then.”

“Tell that to my bull-headed father. Sigh…Why did I have to be born to a military family…”

“…I mean, soldiers are necessary to uphold the security of the nation, right? And in a world with all these bizarre events, well. There’s a lot of trouble going on in the southern part of Lucifenia where you’re from, isn’t there?”

“—That’s it. There’s the problem,” Tony replied, pointing at Gallerian.

“Problem?”

“Those white-skinned zombies. The so-called ‘dead soldiers’. Lately they’ve started showing up in Lucifenia’s borders. It’s cause Beelzenia’s army is so gutless. It’s practically a joke. Having to fight with such fantastical creatures that hopped up out of the graveyard.”

“Yeah. You’re definitely the worst person to become a soldier.”

“You think so? But…my dad…” Tony grumbled, holding his head.

“Hey, Tony…This just occurred to me.”

“Hm?”

“Did you, maybe…deliberately delay your credit acquisition because you didn’t want to become a soldier?”

“Wha!? D-d-d-don’t be ridiculous! Th-that’s no—Woops! My stomach is growling! I’m gonna go eat something!”

Tony awkwardly pulled away from Gallerian, walking towards the table where the food was.

“Hah…I wonder if he’ll…be alright, that one.”

As Gallerian was giving a wry smile, this time Loki came over with his girlfriend in tow, having finished dancing.

“Hey, Gallerian! You having fun?”

“Yep.”

“I see…Though it doesn’t really look like it. By the way, what do you plan to do for break after tomorrow?”

“For break…I’m gonna be working at the Dark Star Bureau right away. I’ve got a lot I need to study.”

“You’re not going back to your country?”

“You mean Marlon? …Nah, I can’t afford the travel fare. You going home?”

“Yeah.” Loki nodded, and then continued, “I was thinking that if you came back with me, I could invite you out to do this.” He made a gesture as though aiming a rifle.

“Hunting, huh…That’s your hobby, isn’t it Loki.”

“I can’t do it much here in snowy Levianta. There’s plenty to hunt in the forest right by my home. Like deer, bears…How about it? You’re really not coming? If money’s an issue I can front the expenses.”

“Hmmm.” Gallerian appeared to think about it for a moment, but ultimately he shook his head. “I’ll still have to decline. I’ve never used a gun before, and it doesn’t sound like it’d suit me.”

“Everyone starts out that way. Experience is everything.”

“I’m fine; you and Mira have a good time.”

The moment he said that, Loki’s expression grew faintly conflicted. “Er, no, she’s…”

Mira walked between them, smiling.

“I’m not planning to come along this time, Galley.”

She was the same age as Loki, two years Gallerian’s senior. For that reason she was always conducting herself like a big-sister around Gallerian.

“Huh…Why?”

“I’m still a student, unlike you two.”

“But you’re still getting a break from university, so there’s no problem, right?”

“Er, no…Well, there’s also…eh.”

As Mira stammered, Loki began to explain in her stead. “Apparently Mira’s family doesn’t think well of her interacting with me.”

“Her parents are against you?”

“No, actually her parents aren’t the problem. It’s her older brother. He can’t stand that his little sister is dating a member of the Freezis family.”

“…I see.”

Gallerian made no move to pry any further, appearing to have an inkling of what was going on.

Gallerian knew that Mira Yarera was a member of the Yarera Zusco Conglomerate. The Yarera Zusco Conglomerate was a large conglomerate on the same level as the Freezis Conglomerate.

For that reason, it had been a matter of great discussion among their classmates when Loki and Mira started dating. A romance between the son and daughter of two longtime rival conglomerates—If the two of them were to ultimately get married, it would likely have a massive influence on society at large.

And that was why there was no small number of obstacles in their way to get there.

“Well, that might be a bit much for a kid to take in,” Mira said teasingly.

Gallerian puffed out his cheeks. “Kid…I’m only two years younger than you, you know.”

“Oh, is that right? Galley, you’re so little I thought it was more than that.”

“Slow aging is a family trait. In a little while I’ll get a bit taller and be on the same level as the two of you. …That’s what my dad said.”

Loki brazenly patted Gallerian on his head, smiling. “Ha ha ha ha--. It’s said that the old Empress Dowager Prim Marlon retained her youth even after she passed fifty years old. If you’ve got the same blood in you, then maybe when you get older you’ll just look even younger…Well, I guess if you and Mira aren’t coming there’s not much I can do for it. I’ll just cut loose all by myself.”

“You should. I don’t know if you’ll be able to take such a long break after all this for a while.”

“That goes for us both. Don’t strain yourself too much.”

Gallerian, Loki, and Mira continued their pleasant conversation for a short time after that.

.

--To speak frankly, I’ve gotten the impression that he was raised to be far more upright than I had expected.

He is her son. Though honestly I could not have imagined how he would turn out.

Gallerian shows no sign of using “magic” like his mother. At this stage he seems to be a normal boy, albeit with a keen mind.

Although, that doesn’t mean he has no potential as a sorcerer.

Without a teacher to train him, he could probably spend his whole life never unlocking his incredible talent.

I didn’t really mind one way or the other on that, but …How would she feel?

Had she given birth to Gallerian that he might lead such a normal life?

.

Things have only just begun.

I shall continue to observe.

As I sharpen my claws, time rapidly flows on.

<<prev------directory------next>>

[child-of-sunshine]

Just gotta rant for a minute so this is going under a cut

I can’t stand the way tumblr in general talks about “rich people” (which they can’t define to save their fucking lives) and particularly when they mention “millionaires” as though it actually means something significant in terms of wealth. 

First, no one seems to understand that by today’s inflated standards, a million dollars really isn’t that much. A quick google search will tell me that the average “middle-income” parent in America will spend over 250k to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. If a couple has 4 kids, they’re already spending over a million dollars on those kids. Yes, that’s over 18 years, but it’s still meaningful.

If a person makes 100k, which is supposedly the 85th percentile of income, it only takes them 10 years to make a million dollars. And yes, obviously they’re spending money too, and it’s not like their savings or their net worth are going to be a million in that time, but people don’t even seem to comprehend that their earnings over that time would literally be a million. Someone earning the average American income, let’s say 50k because I get conflicting information from various sources, would only take 20 years to earn a million dollars.

And calling “millionaires” (putting that in quotes because people (a) do NOT understand the difference between net worth and actual liquid assets or even income) rich, particularly in the context of the “eat the rich” rhetoric, is ridiculous. I know this site has a serious problem with black-and-white thinking, but for fuck’s sake.

Let’s take a look at my parents.

My dad grew up in a relatively low-income household. His mother’s grandparents came straight from Italy with a few dollars in their pockets and nothing else. Her family struggled to get food on the table at times. She worked very hard as a seamstress and married a man who had a good job at Ford back when that meant actual benefits including into retirement, and so they managed to raise two boys without having to worry too much about being able to afford food or housing. They saved like crazy and spent the minimum that they possibly could on themselves, so that when they reached retirement, they had a pretty decent amount of savings for the rest of their lives and could finally enjoy some luxury vacations and get a small but nice house in Florida.

My mom grew up in a truly low-income household. She was the youngest of five siblings living in a tiny, shitty town in Nowhere, Michigan, with two parents who smoked constantly, in a house that sat next to some kind of horrifying mystery waste pond (she and both of her sisters had cancer, my mom at just 36, and one of her brothers died from some kind of unknown neurological deterioration). Her father got TB and spent time in a sanitarium, after which he became a withdrawn alcoholic and then died relatively young. Her mother became depressed, stopped working, and died of cancer. My mom lost both of her parents in her early 20s, before she even met my father.

Both of my parents were gifted with the great privileges of great brains and being white. Even in their crappy hick town in the middle of nowhere, my mom managed to be in the top of her class (of 56 whole people) in high school and earned a scholarship to a state university, literally the only way she could have afforded to attend. My dad worked to pay for his college as far as I know (because back then you could actually do that). They both got bachelor’s degrees. My dad became an engineer, a good career, and quickly found a job with a relatively new, small local company. He worked extremely hard, long hours for years and moved up to being a manager, and the company has grown a lot over the 25+ years he’s now worked there, with the result that he now makes a low six-figure salary. My mom took a computer programming course after realizing her journalism degree wouldn’t get her much paid work, and has worked as a programmer for 25+ years now, switching jobs sometimes, usually making somewhere in the 60-70k range in the last decade or so.

My mother got pregnant with my sister around the time she and my dad got engaged. She was working a crappy programming job and he’d barely started as an engineer, making nowhere near six figures. They lived in a trailer park, in a trailer with a hole in the floor and steps that were a safety hazard. She’d spent some time living with her sister, who’s 13 years older than her and never had children (thus had a house and some savings). My dad’s mother, the seamstress, made my mom’s wedding dress for free as long as my mom bought the material for it, which was just about all they could afford. They had a nice, small wedding when my sister was about 2 (she was afraid of my mom’s dress lmao) and one of my cousins took the pictures.

Four years after my sister was born, my parents had saved up enough to put a down payment on our house, a moderate-sized family home in a suburban neighborhood that was just being built. The house was a little over 200k. She got pregnant with me and the house was finished just after I was born.

My mom got cancer when I was 2 years old. They haven’t talked to me much about it. Her sister spent a lot of money to buy her a really nice wig made of animal hair (which, unfortunately, she could rarely wear because it made her very itchy). She went through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She spent months sick as hell and miserable, while trying to raise two young daughters. Thankfully, they’d saved enough to be able to handle the medical bills, particularly with my dad’s good job that had good benefits and, by then, was paying him a pretty decent salary. My mom recovered, thankfully (over 20 years in remission now!).

In 2008, when the recession hit, my mom lost her job quickly. She tried finding new ones but couldn’t. No one was hiring programmers, they were getting rid of them. Her depression got a lot worse. I was in high school and depressed myself (in large part because of the situation at home, though my parents don’t know it, that became suicidal depression a while afterward), and they had to start paying for therapy for me. My sister was in college and had to try to pay for it herself because my parents’ college fund for her hadn’t gone as far as they’d hoped. My dad’s company supplies machines to auto manufacturers. They were worried. They laid off some people, thankfully not my dad, and others had to take pay cuts. My parents started sitting down and seriously going over finances. My mom and I had to completely quit figure skating, my only physical stress outlet (like I said, that contributed a LOT to the severe depression). We had to cut down the grocery bills and think about not buying gifts for family members’ birthdays and such. My grandparents, happily retired by then with good savings, paid off the rest of our mortgage and told my dad to pay them back without interest whenever he could, so that no matter what happened with the jobs, we at least wouldn’t have to worry about losing our house. I listened to my parents scream at each other over money and I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights.

Guess what? My dad is a millionaire. Definitely not in liquid assets, but in net worth he probably just barely hits 1 million. He now makes a low six-figure salary and when the economy is doing okay, he invests some of it in the stock market, mostly in low-risk stocks that are guaranteed to have payouts (I don’t know a lot about this, so that’s all I’ll say). He inherited/learned his dad’s extreme money-saving ways and saves as much as possible. He’s an engineer and very handy, so whenever possible he does home and car repairs himself to save a lot of money. I managed to get a scholarship that covered almost all of my undergrad tuition, I lived at home for half of undergrad and all of med school to save money, I worked in retail in undergrad and as an EMT in med school to pay for some of my own stuff, and they didn’t pay for any of my med school tuition, so that’s it for their educational expenses for me. My mom’s had a good, stable job for the last few years that pays in the low 80k range, I think. We live in a house worth ~250k that we now fully own thanks to my grandparents. 

A few years ago, my dad’s brother bought a crappy, tiny, nearly-condemned cabin in the woods up north for about 20k (seriously, it was shit). He and my dad put in a few hundred dollars and a TON of time and manual labor to fix it up, and now we pay half the bills on it and both of our families use it for vacations. We have a small (19ft) boat that my dad bought as a gift for my mom when she had cancer--he got it extremely cheap from a guy who’d bought it, barely used it, and just wanted rid of it. It’s a 1994 and full of problems now, but we’ve managed to keep it going (barely, at times) and my dad has taken really good care of it over the years. A friend of my dad’s got him into snowmobiling about a decade ago and once his brother bought the cabin and they fixed it up, my dad got a cheap, crappy used snowmobile, which he used for a few years before reselling it and upgrading to an actually nice, new one, because yeah, he could afford it. He’s upgraded a couple times, good for him. When I actually have the time off, I go up with him in the winter and ride one of his old ones that he kept and fixed after it had an engine problem. It doesn’t cost much to renew the trail permits each year and I borrow my uncle’s gear for riding, so other than the initial cost of the sleds, it really costs us nothing to go riding (gas is extremely negligible in snowmobiles, they can go 120+ miles on a single 8 gallon tank, and we store them ourselves at the cabin so we don’t pay for that). We store the boat in our garage at home (like I said, it’s small) so other than the permit and gas for that when we take it out, again, really no continuous expense.

My parents pay all of their taxes without trying to do any bullshit work-arounds. They don’t have a lawyer or a tax accountant or a financial advisor, my dad does it all himself. He keeps track of all of our finances himself. We don’t pay a landscaping service or a cleaning service or any of that crap, we do it all ourselves like any other middle-class family. My mom donates regularly to charities for cancer, animal rescues, and injured veterans. 

But to tumblr, incapable of seeing nuance, we’re “one-percenters (absolutely nowhere near true) who own a house and have a ‘vacation home’ and a boat and recreational vehicles” so we’re pretty much just as bad as Bezos, because anyone who isn’t actively struggling to put food on the table or in horrible medical debt because of our disaster of a system is apparently “rich” and there’s no such thing as shades of gray.

#sorry that was insanely long #no one will read it though so it doesn't matter #that's why I made the read more #just needed to write down thoughts and bitch #I hate the politics on this site #so many good ideas SO badly implemented #the splitting on here is completely fucking ridiculous #and I'm really sick of seeing things that imply me or my family are evil and inherently bad for existing comfortably #and going on occasional vacations #and being able to afford the medical bills when I got a tumor and needed surgery

[deniigi]

(Rachel) thank you for answering! no, I don't really have any specific program in mind yet, I was mostly curious about the process. my dumb high school in eastern canada has the audacity to discourage post secondary education?? my guidance counselors, who have their jobs based on one (if not two!!!) university degrees say that it's expensive and a waste of time because most grads leave the province. they just want us all to work in the lumber industry that rules the province (1/2)

RACHEL YOU STICK IT TO THE MAN SWEETHEART

Seriously, I got this same shit, time and time again from counselor after counselor and supervisor after supervisor.

So let me explain where the fuck these guys are actually coming from so you don’t have to let only spite propel you to grad school like it did me (there are slightly more healthy propellants, like passion, curiosity, genuine desire to contribute to human knowledge, etc. Altho I am 110% going to sneak ‘spite’ into my acknowledgement section in my dissertation)

Okay, so actual, real talk. Let’s talk grad school (Master’s and PhD–although hey, undergrads and finishing up hs seniors–most of this shit is applicable to y’all too)

1. These folks are saying grad school is expensive because it kind of is expensive.

To this I say: yeah, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s just gonna take a bit of work and some compromise.

So I don’t know where you’re planning on going to undergrad or what your financial aid situation is, but my whole thing is that if you can make yourself or already are eligible for a postgrad scholarship or grant, you’re already doing hella towards your being a feasible candidate for that degree. Because I had a really good GPA going into my Master’s, I was eligible for an internal grant, and then, because I worked my ass off and got a high GPA my first semester, I got a fellowship. That covered my tuition, so all I had to do was deal with my cost of living and I was comfortable with taking out a loan for my two-year program to deal with that.

I want to be clear on 2 points here: I was only able to cover my tuition with my grant and fellowship because I made the decision earlier on that I was fine, absolutely unspeakably fine doing my Master’s at a mid-tier school (a state school, as we say in California, as opposed to a private college or a UC). I personally went to a very working-class school and I was really glad I did because those first tier, Ivy Leagues, and private schools are 1. so competitive it is literally detrimental to your body and mental health. 2. FUCKING expensive–and not for any damn real reason. Listen. If you’re getting an MA or an MFA, no one gives a shit where you do your degree, it’s all about tailoring the most comfortable learning environment for yourself. I personally do not believe in that fucking elitist big-name college bullshit because there is no guarantee that a fancy, expensive-ass degree from a big-name will get you a job over someone who went to a mid-tier. It just doesn’t work like that.

Anyways, so. To make things even more affordable, I also super fucking recommend working while doing your program if possible (no more than part-time, otherwise you’re begging for burn out). Besides being able to buy burritos and not have to pinch pennies 24/7, working lets you make some friends, build professional skills, and have a break from the academic work.

2. Hella students who start grad school don’t finish it.

Or they take 2 thousand years to do it and end up crying over their nearly-finished-but-not-quite thesis at the kitchen table for approximately 2 hours every night before bed.

That kind of makes the investment of your time, money, and energy seems kind of not worth it compared to the number of doors that your postgrad degree would (or would fail to) open up to you.

So. Here’s the thing.

If you want to go to grad school, you need to tell yourself that you are in this shit to win it. You gotta give yourself some very clear guidelines and have a backup plan if shit starts going south.

All I’m saying is that you should be honest with yourself and ask yourself why you’re doing it. If it just to not pay your student loans, that’s not a good reason. If you’re doing it because you don’t want to work yet, that’s not a good reason. If you’ve never not had school and the thought of not having that to build your routine around gives you anxiety, so you think, “I’ll just do another degree, I’ll be more ready to enter the real world in 2 years” STOP. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Don’t go to fucking grad school (I swear I will get to why. Just trust me on this one for right now)

If you decide you want to go to grad school for a legitimate reason (to build skills, to be more competitive/marketable in your field, to make a contribution to human knowledge, etc.) then make a plan for yourself with a timeline and at least 2 back up life plans from the start. That way you don’t get stuck in the way too common loop of having to take year after year of extensions to finish research/writing.

And 3, and most importantly: Grad school is the WORST THING for your mental health fucking EVER.

Okay, know that I say this as a grad student two times over and that I’m not saying this to discourage you, period. I’m just saying it before some asshole throws it at your face or before you’re met with a horrible revelation.

Multiple serious studies have been done on post-graduate students and they’ve found that grad students are something like 6 times more likely to have mental health issues than the gen. population.

that sounds very scary, and I can tell you right now that it is fucking terrifying and, having survived round 1 and currently surviving in round 2 of this bullshit, it is absolutely true. I have not met a single person (and I have a huge circle of postgrad folks in my life) who has not had mental health issues appear or become triggered or worsened by their second/third degrees.

But here’s what else I will say. It takes a certain type of person to excel academically in our insane school systems and that type of person is not exactly healthy to begin with. Academics and academically minded people are kind of perfectly wired to be susceptible to mental health problems. We just want to be the best (ever. always.); we are perfectionists, we have imposter syndrome (if you’re a human–those people who don’t have this are sociopaths and you need to avoid them as much as possible).

Most of us end up with some kind of anxiety or depression, straight up. Myself included. And it can get bad. I’m not even gonna joke about that.

So again. You have to be honest with yourself and think about your boundaries, your triggers, and what services and support you have at your disposal to make this shit happen anyways.

Because we all know you’re gonna do it anyways. It’s just a matter of getting a support system in place, getting meds when you need ‘em, getting help when you need it, and knowing your limits and how to manage your self-care and burnout.

So. This has been Grad School: Full Disclosure with Matt. I hope that you/someone gets some decent, honest advice out of that.

I know it’s a little scary, but I have to emphasize that the friends I made in grad school and the kind of thinking I am now capable of doing has literally changed my life for the better and I do not regret going to grad school despite all the shit. Have not ever, will not ever. 

I am a huge proponent of post-secondary edu and all I want in the world for you folks who want to do it is to help y’all do it without too much physical, mental, and financial strain on your persons, and that shit is doable so long as you go in with as much info and as practical expectations as possible.

Because that shit was absolutely worth it (to me). At the end of that road, there is nothing as amazing as looking at your degree and your thesis and your friends and skills and being proud as fuck because you fucking did that. You did. And you’re capable of so much more than you ever thought you were.

Anyways, you go Rachel. Show ‘em what’s what if that’s what makes you happy.

#not fic #long post #sorry folks #I can't not inform the youth #It is my moral responsibility #education #graduate school

[purintarts]

RFA reacts to “MC wants to be a Stripper”

This was supposed to be a funny more of a joking MC saying “Imma be a stripper” but I accidentally made it slightly angsty ==;;

Oh well! 

Also, they are just friends here (or more than friends but less than lovers) or meh.

YOOSUNG

Because of your studies, you had moved away from your family and ended up getting a small apartment but your parents are hitting a rough patch and the rent date is getting nearer and your bills are overdue 

You went to Yoosung’s place to study for your upcoming Mid semester test because you know you will breakdown if you stay in yours, plus, Yoosung needed some help with his upcoming language test too

As you helped each other studied, you received a text from the apartment’s owner stating that they will need the rent a few days earlier because repairing matters

Your mood had changed negatively and you tried to hold in the tears from falling

“MC? Are you okay?”

“No I’m not”

You began pouring out your problems and Yoosung listened quietly

“Urgh... That’s it I’m becoming a stripper”

“Wait what? MC... You’re joking right?”

“No, I’m serious. I heard it pays well and fast too. Right now I need the money”

“But MC! The environment isn’t safe and what would your parents feel if they know about this”

“They wouldn’t have to find out... and to be honest Yoosung, I could careless what other people think”

You shut your books, your mind was full of determination. You got to do what you got to do right?

“MC!” 

Yoosung grabbed your arms as you stood up to pack your stuff

“Stay with me”

“Yoosung I can’t stay, I need to go-”

“No! I meant lived with me”

“I can’t, I barely have money to pay my current bills, I can’t pay you-”

“You don’t have to worry about the bills! At least for now. Just.. come and lived with me. My apartment is big enough for two people and if you want to help on the bills, you can do so once you’re stable”

“...I don’t know Yoosung”

“At least it’s safer than working in a club and dance for strangers. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself!”

He released your arm and raised his hands up like surrendering

“Think about it MC”

“... I will”

ZEN

It’s hard to get a stable job and you ended with working two part time jobs to make ends meet. However, no matter how many shifts you took, you barely had enough money to get at least one proper meal a day. There were even days when you go on with only water.

You had to lie to RFA if they asked if you eaten. If only they knew you didn’t. CALL THE POLICE AND FIREMAN

To be honest, you didn’t mind as long as the bills were paid, that was until you had passed out and unfortunately, your employer sent you to the hospital and left you with a medical bill which you had to paid since you didn’t have any medical insurance due to part time

The medical fees had land you to give up your savings for the rent and the due was a little over a week.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures and you were thinking of going for it. Working as a stripper. You were thinking of just going into one of the strip clubs in town and go for it. After all, you heard they will hired you on the spot especially if you look good enough.

Just as you were about to get ready, your doorbell rang and Zen was at the door holding fried chicken.

“Hello babe! I hope you haven’t eaten yet because I got them as bonus from the commercial I just shot”

Your stomach rumbled at the scent which left Zen chuckling

“Well I’m glad you’re hungry! May I come in?”

You invited him, seduced by the fried chicken. Zen set the box down on your little coffee/dining table when he noticed your bedroom’s door was ajar and he saw the sexy mini dress and lacy red lingerie you left on your bed.

Zen’s eyes was so wide you could see the veins in the white of his eyes and his face was so red that it was redder than his eyes

“Y-you going out tonight?”

He croaked as he diverted his eyes somewhere else, quickly sitting down as he hugged a pillow nearby

“I was thinking of getting another job”

“But don’t you have two jobs already?”

“It’s not enough and I need the money”

“What job are planning to take?”

“I’m going to be a stripper”

Cue Zen chocking on his own spit

You sort of expect this kind of reaction. You understand if he have a different perception of you after this too but you could careless about what other’s would think about right now.

Zen on the other hand was glad you couldn’t read his mind. Oh boy his thoughts were wild.

You as a stripper. You wearing latex, you on a pole, you dancing provocatively, you giving that seductive stare, you giving him a lap dance, you giving a stranger a lap dance-

“WAIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

“I’m not”

You calmly explain to him even before he gets to burst out about one of his speeches about the dangerous of the male species.

“But babe, you could try other things! Like modelling or acting. You’re beautiful and there are gigs that pays well. You can get 500 bucks up to 1000 on certain gigs”

“I don’t know Zen... That would take a while won’t it? I need to find an agent and all...”

“Honey, you have me. Hell, you have the trustfund kid and seven. You have RFA full or resources, we can help you”

“I don’t know if I can pull it off”

“You pulled off arranging a party less than a week, you can pull off a gig, trust me”

“...I’ll try”

“Good girl! Now let’s have fried chicken”

JAEHEE

Student loans. Oh how you hated those words.

Which is the reason why you were staring at your reflection, trying on two provocative dresses that you could find.

Living with Jaehee has it perks since you two could split the rent and bills. Plus with two working women, everything is great except the fact that you had student loans to pay and you do not feel happy letting Jaehee foot all the groceries bill

You were testing out walking with your 5 inch heels, trying a couple of moves feeling like a log instead of a stripper.

“Can I even do this?”

You rubbed your forehead at the same time the front door open revealing Jaehee

“I’m home- Where are you going?”

She shut the door behind her, locking it as she walked towards you

“I am thinking of getting a second job”

“That is?”

“A stripper”

Jaehee stared at you in surprised before asking you a list of questions. Why? Are you sure? Is there other options? 

You answered her questions truthfully and she sighed in desperation

“I support you in everything but this isn’t... safe? I’m worried” 

“You gotta do what you gotta do right?”

“True... But how about we look for other options before you jumped into this one?” 

“...fine”

JUMIN

One of your parents had to go in for an emergency surgery, it didn’t help that they were the breadwinner of the family. It sure didn’t help that you had just started working in your new workplace under two months. What’s worse, you had your siblings who are still studying.

For the past week, you had gone in and out of the hospital to look after your parent and work. Their surgery was a success and your parent had to stay in the hospital for a few more days to recover.

Thankfully, their medical insurance from their workplace covered the surgery but unfortunately, it only covered 50% of the total bill leaving the other 50%.

Not to mention, your parent wouldn’t probably go to work for at least  a month and you knew you had to figure something out to pay both the bills and support your family.

You knew what to do when a friend of yours had suggested a strip club that she worked at before. Apparently it’s famous and the more famous it is, more potential customers and that equals to more money. She even gave you a business card for that place.

Since your sibling was taking care of your parent tonight, you had the night to yourself to rest that is until the doorbell rang and by your doortep was Han Jumin standing with a paper bag.

“Jumin! Why are you here so late?”

“Sorry to disturb you. I just came back from the business trip and I got what you requested”

“Oh dear! Thank you Jumin but you could have told me and I’ll pick it up from you”

“Your house was along the way so why not. I hope it fits”

“Let me try, come on in”

“Then pardon my intrusion”

Jumin walked in as I motioned the sofa, putting down the paper bag on the dining table, I went to get him a glass of juice. 

Jumin sat quietly as he looked over at you getting his drink before his eyes landed on the coffee table where your purse was at. Your phone, keys and wallet was spread out and what capture his eyes was the business card to a strip club.

“You’re going to a strip club?” 

He questioned as you set down his drink. You cursed at yourself for not cleaning it up before you went to the kitchen but he’ll know sooner or later right?

“Actually... i was thinking of working there. As a stripper”

Jumin froze, his years of concealing his emotions did not betray him and he calmly asked why and you explained to him.

“If that’s the problem, you shoud have told me earlier, I can help you pay for it-”

“No Jumin! I do not wish to take advantage of you. I’ll feel very guilty about it especially since it’s my family matters”

“Well MC, rather than putting yourself at risk, vulnerable at a room full of strangers, I don’t mind if you were to take advantage of me in this matter”

“Jumin no! That’s wrong that’s”

It took you a whole 30 minutes debating with him about the medical fees but he managed to comply only if you get a job which is safe. 

“Or you could work at C&R”

“...Thank you but I’ll figure something out”

707

Your parents was having a rough time and unfortunately, that affects your tuition fees. You were thinking of taking the semester off despite the fact you were left with a couple of semesters before you graduate. But you know your parents wouldn’t be able to afford it and it will lessen some of their burdens.

However, things at home weren’t so good and you were left with your finals before you take the semester off. Unfortunately, a few miscalculations happen and the tuition fees that were supposed to be fully paid had an overdue

A few thousands in fact

Afraid that your college tried to cheat you off, you asked for Seven’s help to hit a couple of keys to make sure.

“Yep. It’s true. Here’s the maths”

Seven showed you a table with numbers on the overdue and total amounts. Seeing the numbers made your anger rise. 

Why must this happen now? Why must the miscalculation happen now? How the hell are you going to pay for this?

“Fuck this I’m going to be a stripper”

You blurted out making Seven raised an eyebrow at you

“Well MC, being stripper is one thing. But do you even know where you’re going to work at and the preparations?”

“What preparations?”

“Clothes? Skills? Confidence?”

“I’ll work it out some how... I can improvise”

“Or you can just borrow mine”

“What?”

Next thing you knew, Seven was in a two piece latex with a whip, he was even wearing a long red hair wig and a 5 inch heels.

“You’re joking?”

“Honey do I look like I am?”

Seven made kissy faces at you with a wink and what surprised you further was the fact he had a pole installed in one of his rooms. It ended with you two challenging each other song after song 

How and When was he so skilled in pole dancing?

“You know what Seven, I’m not fit for this”

You slumped on the floor, panting.

“Well that’s too bad”

Seven turned away as he covered his victory smirk.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger jaehee #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger yoosung #yoosung kim #kim yoosung #kang jaehee #zen #jumin #han jumin #707 #luciel choi #choi luciel #choi saeyoung

[aviationfiction]

Thoughts on Seven and Eight;

Okay so why can I totally relate to when Autumn and Andreas first met? I’ve had moments like that when you look at somebody or they look at you and you just feel this sense of beauty surround you. It’s like a moment of vulnerability that hits you like a ton of bricks and stops you cold. However, I’m noticing quickly that Andreas seems to blame Autumn for his own lack of self control. He knew it was wrong to be messing with a girl so young (despite her legality), yet he’s making it seem like she was the puppetmaster in everything. It’s a bit of a cop out if I’ve ever seen one. He’s a grown man and should take responsibility for what he decided to do. He gave her his number, not the other way around, so I find issue with him shaming her when they argued in the past.

Absolutely. A lot of us can relate to that moment when you see someone and sparks just fly. It’s not just unrealistic movie scenario or some romance novel. It happens. She set her eyes on that man it just shifted everything for her. It had never happened before, so the hunger to pursue this man who evoked so much emotion and even lust with her, is absolutely understandable. We all tend to explore what makes us curious or we try to understand what caused the curiosity in the first place. The thing is, he places so much blame upon her, when he too decided to explore his own curiosity. The attraction was there on his end as well. I’m sure Autumn wasn’t the only woman who admired him or even pursued him, so why’d he chose her to respond to? He did so because he wanted to explore her as well. She didn’t put peer pressure on him nor did she seduce him. She may have been young minded and there’s no denying that he did play into that, which caused her to fall even harder. His excuses are invalid and yet another terrible depiction of her from his end. They were in it together. He may have no had feelings that were as strong as hers, but his feelings were there.

It really pained me when Autumn couldn’t answer Dr. Jill’s question about what she felt Andreas loved about her - I just feel so bad for her and it kind of upsets me how she really revolved her life around this man only for him to desert her. I want so much more for her because I know there’s so much more. The fact that she even blames herself for this separation is just heartbreaking. And I feel even worse that I got Shane and Andreas confused - now that I know who Shane was I can see why she’s even more within her sorrow. Losing a family member can be devastating, but he seemed to be so kind and caring and attentive, it was a greater loss with that in mind. But I appreciate Glen being there for her on Shane’s death anniversary, though. It reinforces the idea of the connection that has formed between he and Autumn.

She lost track of that. Slowly but surely their marriage and love began to dismantle and she couldn’t figure out what to do or what it is about herself that he loves so much that she may be able to enhance in an effort to make him stay. When your husband mentally checks out of your marriage and then eventually, physically does so, that’s going to take a major hit at your self esteem. Autumn began to wonder what didn’t she do correctly. Is she no longer attractive? Is the sex bad? Is the appeal no longer there? Is she not smart enough? Interesting enough? It became an “what did I do wrong” state of mind for her and it’s still that way.

Losing her brother was literally her losing her best friend. Heather has that title but her brother came before Heather in that aspect. They were inseparable and closer than ever. She went to him for and about everything and vise versa. Losing him left her devastated and she lost him in the midst of her losing her marriage. It broke her.

And I wanna be so mad at Issac but he didn’t tell one lie while they were talking. This is one of those moments where is brutal honesty is actually needed. Autumn might just have to bite that bullet and get a lawyer because the odds are too stacked against her. With the world we live in she’d have nothing without some type of degree - she’d have to stay home and get more money for tuition if she went back to school anyway. I want to be upset that Issac is being so crass on such a sensitive day for her, but I want my baby to be well. She might need a kick in the ass or two and I see that Issac is going to be the one to give it to her. I know she feels offended by what he said but she’s gotta see things for what they are - Andreas will leave her with nothing if she doesn’t get in tune with her reality.

Issac does drop gems on her every now and then because he wants her to figure herself out and to find some direction. Autumn lost herself into a man and now she’s trying to claw her way out of that hole. She doesn’t have anything. She left school, she became a housewife, and she didn’t do anything within those six years to put herself in a better position all for the sake of her own individuality. She became stagnant all for the sake of being there for Andreas and now she’s left by herself to figure it out. She’s going to have to start over and he’s trying to push into doing so in the proper manner. If she doesn’t have a successful settlement with Andreas, she’s going to run into financial trouble unless her family carries her until she can afford to do so herself. We’ll just have to see how that works out.

Autumn’s problem with Issac is, he’s living in a glass house and throwing stones. He may be successful and financially set well beyond the needed means, but he has his flaws and he’s done some things that aren’t his proudest moments much like she has. She doesn’t throw that in his face the way he throws her marital issues and lack of success into hers.

Also, can Matt be punched in his gotdamned mouth? He is so annoying and such a snide little thing, I cannot stand him at all. At least Camille is hip to the game, although I can’t entirely give her props because she allows it. Then again, there’s probably no real scolding of the St. James men. They have vicious tongues as we’ve already seen time and time again. As for this ‘act’ that Dante speaks of, I really want to know what the real situation is. It could possibly have to do with infidelity or a question of paternity, but I’m not entirely sure yet. I’m just curious the more time this family spends together.

Matthew is his father’s son. They’re very much a like in the way that they handle things and the way that they speak to Dante. Dante’s the poised one of the family. He’s nothing like any of them personality wise, which is why he often feels like the black sheep. This is also why he tends to keep in mind what separates them and makes their family so damn dysfunctional.

But I see Autumn went ahead and took the job, which is a good thing - it could give her experience and help her maybe move up in the company if she can impress Issac enough with her performance! Of course, there’s the tiny part of me who’s just glad she gets to be around Dante. And I KNEW she had something similar to a stroke. But I got so sad reading about Dante’s uncle and grandmother. So much familial loss and it seems to be repeating himself. Dante has to take care of himself or he might suffer a similar fate. But I like how he tried to make Autumn feel more comfortable and that he could tell she was nervous and apprehensive. Most people wouldn’t even care. I’m so excited now. I want them to be friends so bad.

Yeah, she needs to get her feet wet and get back out in the world. She could use the experience and she needs to do something to get herself together. She spent two years in recovery because of what she went through health wise and because of the death of her brother. She needs to figure out a lot more about this thing we call life.

Dante’s so in tune with what it means to just be a human being. He doesn’t use the power that he has to intimidate or go against people. He never wants people to feel inferior to him which is why he treats the people he encounters with high regard and respect, unless they don’t give him the same in return. Just because Autumn works for him doesn’t mean that he should treat her as if she’s beneath him or as this disposable employee. He wanted her to be comfortable and settled around him. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to watch her step, watch what she says, or be very mindful of how she behaves around him. He just wanted her to feel as normal as he wants to feel.