#guess this is my way of coping | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ya-zz · 16 days

Text

It Has to End - It Will End

Ramattra x Reader

!! sa r/pe warning !! A/N: I am fairly open about my experience, having written about it in the past with a character from a different fandom. What is written below from the readers POV is what happened to me back in 2018. Some of you may ask or have wondered why I'm comfortable in writing r/pe, and this is why - I have been through it. If this helps even one person, then I have done something right... Also don't ask about word count I did this here and not in a doc-

Something had been off with you for awhile but the omnic couldn't place it. The distant stares, vacant eyes and shaky hands were anything but normal. He ruled it down to the nightmare you recently had, it was still eating away at you, he thought.

One night, when the two of you were seated on the balcony to watch the meteor shower that was supposedly happening, he figured that it was the right time to ask.

"Is everything okay? You have not been yourself recently." His head tilts to the side, optics glancing over at you.

Ramattra notices the hesitation before you peel your eyes away from the night sky. "Yeah. Suppose I'm just on edge."

"We have time-"

"I don't want to ruin the mood." You half smile at him.

"Your health and feelings are more important than some balls of dust falling from the atmosphere." He states, turning his entire body to face you. "Talk to me. Please."

You can hear the desperation in his voice as you follow suit, turning your body to sit in front of his. A shaky sigh escapes you as you look down at your hands resting on your lap.

"I can't forget what happened to me." You start, not wanting to look up at the omnic before you. "It happened so long ago but it still feels recent."

Ramattra stays silent, the only noise coming from him was his inner workings, the soft hum of his fans against the cool night time wind.

"It took me so long, no, too long, to realise what had happened to me. The way his hands grabbed my body. I can still feel them on my sides, my hips; the bruises from how tight he held me." Closing your eyes, you try to dismiss the scene, but it replays. A constant, torturous loop that never seemed to end. "He pushed himself inside of me… I was screaming, shouting at him to stop, but he didn’t, no matter how loud I cried… It felt like glass being dragged back and forth. After he… After he had finished, he just cleaned himself up, leaving me bent over his bed trying to collect myself."

The next sentence that leaves your mouth hits the omnic like a brick.

"He was a friend, Rama... Someone I trusted. Someone I knew for years and he did this to me." It was hard to hold back the tears that started falling down your cheeks. "It took me so long to realise what had happened, but by that point it was too late. I have to live with the fact that I was raped and there is no justice."

Ramattra freezes, hands tightly gripping the cloth around his thighs.

"He's out there living life as if nothing happened, and the worst part about it all?" You look up at the omnic as you wipe away the tear on your cheek. "I still had to see him."

The silence rings loud before being broken by the passing chilly wind. Ramattra goes to speak but nothing comes out. He couldn't believe what he was hearing; all this time, the anxiety, the flinching, the nightmares... You snap him out of his thoughts by continuing to speak.

"We had the same friend group. I avoided him as much as I could when I realised what happened, but nobody believed me when I finally said something... If they didn't believe me, why should anyone else?"

"You have the worst friends." Ramattra chimes in.

"I'm no longer friends with any of them." You laugh awkwardly. "I cut them off soon after."

"That does not change anything." He wants to lean forward, to hold you close, but your body language says otherwise - stiff, ready to push back.

You manage a half smile before continuing. "It comes back every now and then. I'll be having a good day and then it gets ruined by that... I want to it end."

"You have come far already. Opening up to me is the first step. You are holding on to it for what reason? You do not need to relive that moment anymore." Ramattra finally takes that leap and takes your hand in his.

You shrug, taking a moment to think as you watch his thumb smooth over your knuckles. "It's hard to let go of something so traumatic. I can't just snap my fingers and forget it. Something will trigger it and I go back to that isolated state."

"You have thought about different outcomes, yes?" Ramattra asks with a firm tone.

"Too many times." You breathe deeply. "I should've left or I should've fought back. I should've realised what had happened at that moment and gone to the police-"

"Does it make you feel better?"

"No. Worse. It makes me feel weak."

Ramattra hums and nods. "Then why do you keep doing it?"

You stutter when trying to come up with a response. "I suppose it made me feel better for a moment before it made me feel like shit."

"Perhaps you should try a different approach. Yes, it happened and no, you cannot change the past, but you are still here. You are living your life despite the event holding you back in some aspects. It does not make you weak. You are strong." Ramattra speaks softly. "You are stronger because of that."

You smile softly at his words but it quickly fades.

"You are not weak, [y/n]." He reiterates as he squeezes your hand. "Should I ever see this particular individual, I will make sure you have justice."

You couldn't help but laugh at his threat as you wipe away the remaining tears. "You are like a guard dog, you know that?"

"A very good one, no?" Ramattra shuffles closer to you, letting you lean your weight on him. "You deserve closure, to be free from that nightmare."

"One day..."

He keeps his optics on you for a moment longer, your heartbeat had slowed and you seemed more relaxed than before. There was a twinkle in your eyes as they widen, your body shifting forward as you point out a falling star.

"Rama, look!"

Though, he doesn't. His optics were still on you. Admiring you. He brings his head down, resting on the side of your neck. A soft buzzing, a kiss, is felt before he speaks.

"I am proud of you and how far you have come. Do not let this hold you back. You deserve the happiness and you are worthy of love. I am here each and every step of the way, no matter what comes your way. I have you, now and forever."

#overwatch #ramattra #ramattra x reader #yazzfics #debated posting this #it's been in my drafts for a few days #there are actually a few drabbles surrounding this #might be able to piece them together should I do a FULL thing in the future #I did nearly 18k words back in 2022 about this when it nearly made me drop out of uni #guess this is my way of coping #it works tho soooooo #more ramattra content heh

48 notes · View notes

hinamie · 11 days

Text

redraws featuring some of my fav megu moments(tm)

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #itadori yuuji #yuji itadori #yuuji #megumi #fanart #jjk fanart #itafushi #i guess lol #i LOV that frame of blushing megu but let me see his FACE mappa >:(#let me see fushiguro tsundere megumi or so help me god #anyway gege wont give my son back so i will continue to cope the only way i know how #manga is wild rn i will simply bide my time until he returns #edit bc i cannot count to five and gave him . 4 fingers in th first post..............gomen..................

3K notes · View notes

temeyes · 3 months

Text

studies

1K notes · View notes

c-hrona · 1 year

Text

Pietà

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun manga #trigun spoilers #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #spoilers #Did it some time ago while reading trimax and didn't post it because I'm an idiot and forgot about it????#sooooo i'm posting it now because i miss stampede saturdays already MY GOD #anyway i had to cope with Wolfwood death in some ways since it ripped my fucking heart in the most cruel way #jesus... the way he screams and cries because HE'S HOME and then he dies with a gentle smile on his face #the way vash seems to mourn in silence and mantaining his composure #only to discover later that he actually had shortened his lifespan in a moment of pure grief and rage against knives arc #fucking poetic #i hate them so much i wish they had more time i wish they were happy they fucking deserved it fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #anyway iconographic religion imagery be upon ye i guess #oooooh there are so many christian paintings and sculptures to homosexualize :3c #chronart

2K notes · View notes

deimcs · 8 months

Text

Mystra has dictated the terms of my potential for long enough. The Crown would grant me control of my own destiny at last.

#bg3edit #galeedit #baldursgateedit #gamingedit #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #edits #giffing this man dumping my tav in the very last few second of my second pt just to cope #the funny thing is that varian is 100% on board with the fuck you mystra train #cause it's the exact same way he felt about lolth all his life #but i guess if you tell gale even ONCE that maybe the crown shouldn't get back to mystra #and then try to dissuade him from the whole goodhood powertrip last second this is the result #I WAS SO READY FOR THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL AND I GOT A BREAK UP INSTEAD #but i'm not even mad about it. you do you baby boy.#get drunk on power and wreak havoc on earth. might as well #ascended!astarion has the funniest reaction to this scene tho #i wanted to add it but he's wearing the ugliest helm on the planet so i didn't

595 notes · View notes

tinyangrynerd · 5 months

Text

While Tyrantrum is technically not my #1 favorite pokemon (though it's very high on the list!). As a character and individual pokemon I own, King has probably got to be my favorite. don't tell the others

He is going to Headsmash you <3

#pokemon #tyrantrum #my art #my ocs #idk does this count as an oc? i guess??#idk but i'm gonna put him in my oc tag anyways #anyways i adore my sassy glittery blue t-rex <3 #shiny tyrantrum also holds a particularly special place in my heart #being my first ever SUCCESSFUL shiny hunt. all the way back in X&Y #(totally not me coping 'cause he didn't make it into SV :'))

237 notes · View notes

acekindaneat · 6 months

Text

To think that we could stay the same

But we're two slow dancers, last ones out

We're two slow dancers, last ones out

Two slow dancers, last ones out

#im sorry #i guess i wanted to have some angst bc i was going through some stuff haha #and what better way to cope than to project at my two favorite losers ♡#most dialogue was taken from fleabag. if that wasnt obvious enough pfft #the long time i wasn't posting any art.. i was working on this bc i may or may not have gotten broken hearted haha #anyway normal tags now #serirei #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #mp100 #mi art stuff #comics #angst #:( sorry again

327 notes · View notes

astronomodome · 1 year

Text

lamenting the lack of limlife bdubs pov

#we all cope in different ways. leave me alone #limited life smp #trafficblr #bdubs #my art #lifeshipping #i guess???#and yeah i know they arent very antagonistic towards each other but in my mind they are because it's funnier

867 notes · View notes

an-established-butt-dent · 5 months

Text

Solas x Lavellan

Still not over how my poor Lavellan her heart broken in the Glen. She didn't deserve to be left behind like that! 3 Weeks travelling from Skyhold on the premise of a romantic date... only to get dumped.

For a character that's supposed to be wise, Solas has a terrible grasp on the idea of romance.

I'm trying to mend my heart by dedicating this piece to my Inquisitor Lavellan 'Artemis' and the annoyingly sexy and emotional unstable dread Egg.

#I'm replaying DAI and this is the first time i've romanced solas i guess i wanted to know what all the fuzz was about....#oh well i found out the hard way lol #welcome me to solavellan hell plz?#I listened to the Thedas Love theme by Travor Morris on repeat and cried #this is my way of coping #also this is made with acrylic inks and colored pencil on paper! im an analogue babe #solavellan #solavellan hell #the dread egg #solas #solas x female lavellan #solasmance #inquisitor lavellan #dragon age fanart #my art #original artwork #dragon age inquisition

120 notes · View notes

sciderman · 2 months

Note

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks

60 notes · View notes

j7lkx · 10 months

Text

TW: BLOOD, DEATH

spoilers for tmnt idw #22

-

these two need a break bro

inspired by Santolouco’s work in tmnt idw

#jlkart #i draw angst when i’m sad #it’s my way to cope #i guess this is a what if they couldn’t get to a hospital??#tmnt fanart #tmnt idw #tmnt raphael #tmnt casey jones #tmnt angst #tmnt comics #idw tmnt #idw raph #tw bl0od #tw blo0d #tw death

385 notes · View notes

kyouka-supremacy · 10 months

Text

So no sskk?

#😭😭😭 C'mon 😭😭😭#We deserved it!!! After what the anime did to us!!!!!!#On a different note Dazai finally died 🥳🥳🥳 Love wins #I guess I'll look at that panel of Akutagawa carrying Atsushi bridal style (not really but I'm coping) till the new chapter comes out. Eh #I wanted them to fight... We really can't have nice things #Ugh. WE REALLY CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS I'm okay actually I just. Nnnggggggghhhhhhhh #I /know/ the manga doesn't revolve around sskk (unfortunately) but I can't help but wish they'd have more screentime...#By the looks of it. Since Dazai absolutely can't die. Some ada ally is going to write on the page to rewrite everything soon #(page that they acquired somehow in the meantime. Don't ask. I just don't think there's any other way this could go.#A Ranpo ex machina or something)#And the arc is going to be soon done with. But I don't want it to end yet I want my juicy sskk conflict...#I wanted them to deepen the “I know you're still in there” “Why did you save me” plotlines... C'mon...#(((I wanted homoerotic bloodsucking)))#(((If we have a whole vampire arc ending without even a single scene of homoerotic bloodsucking in it #you're never going to hear the end of me)))#Alas... Maybe there's still hope.#I hope the skkers enjoyed the skk (╥﹏╥)#random rambles

174 notes · View notes

blurglesmurfklaine · 6 months

Text

“Woah, you win the lottery or something?”

Jack doesn’t know why he asks the guy in front of him at the checkout line that, but he does. Half the time, he couldn’t give an explanation to why he says the things he does. He took one look at the huge pile of merchandise on the conveyor belt, overheard the cashier calculate the total, and couldn’t help himself.

“Nope,” the customer says casually, swiping his card through the machine. “Just having a mental breakdown.” He turns towards Jack, lips pursed in an awkward smile, and throws up a peace sign.

Jack blinks. “Oh,” he says stupidly. He scrubs a hand behind his neck. “Uh, sorry.”

“Don’t be,” the stranger replies as he bags his various items—ranging from a throw pillow with the word I’m Pretty Sure I Seized The Wrong Day embroidered on it, to a coffee mug that says Live, Laugh, Lubricant. “You’re not the dumbass roommate who got us evicted with an illegal gambling ring.”

Jack opens his mouth to reply, but isn’t sure he’d know what to say anything.

The young man lifts up the pillow, frowning at the vomit green fringes sewn onto the obnoxiously turquoise fabric. “This is the ugliest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Why on earth did I buy it?”

“I have a theory,” Jack says.

The guy starts laughing, loud and obnoxious and it should be the most off putting thing in the world, but Jack is utterly enthralled.

This might be the most peculiar person Jack’s ever met, which is an incredibly high bar. Jack desires him carnally.

“You’re funny,” the guy says, cracking a real, genuine smile this time, and Jack feels his insides become putty in this stranger’s hands. “I’m Davey.”

“Jack.” He grins, extending a hand that Davey takes in a shake. “We should hang out sometime.”

#javid #Javey #newsies #Jack Kelly #David Jacobs #wow look at me I’m writing!#this is two shakes from crack #sorry y’all I’m having a bit of a mentie b #and I don’t believe in love anymore except in fiction #the way some people don’t believe in ghosts but live horror movies #so this is how I’m coping I guess #reblog it so I don’t have to up my antidepressants #god this isn’t even good I’m gonna vomit fr fr what the FUUUUUUCK #someone get me a pillow I can scream into #wow look at me im writing!

74 notes · View notes

brothersonahotelbed · 9 months

Text

one of these days i'll remaster this but for now its crudeness will be part of its charm. nico music be upon ye

#symphonia #wrote this back in?? late june or july? i forget. anyway it's pretty self explanatory #this time though i was just happy to actually KNOW why i'm so sad forever...#most of my teenage years i was so used to being depressed for no real cause. just kind of the way my brain operated & it sucked #so i guess i have to be thankful that there was a thing that happened that made me sad instead of just Brain making bad chemical.#because then it makes it easier to understand & cope & eventually deal with it. whereas when you're depressed for no discernible cause it's #VERY hard like near impossible to know how to help yourself feel better.#does that make sense. anyway!

115 notes · View notes

tatonslice · 11 days

Text

that cant be safe

#thisis the only fucking flipline post ill ever make. worlds most tatonbait papa louie character #calypso island is so fucked up dude has anyone thought of this #i cant stop thinking about how fucked up it is #does anyone even like this guy? is it just me? whatever #im getting killed with hammers for posting this either way #in my mind. sorry #flipline studios #papa louie #flipline kahuna #Why is he named thattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #sorry i get pissed off when i realize i actually do likehim its like a coping mechanism #taton's art #?????????????????fuck dude i guess #dont look at me

53 notes · View notes

piosplayhouse · 2 years

Text

I love Jiang Cheng but I don't rlly want to make him better or worse I kind of just want to put him in a jar an d watch him pickle for a while

#and boil on the radiator #jk for once this isnt a rainbow dash jar post i swear #its a shen jiu jar post. which i guess you might be able to turn into a rainbow dash one if you're that kinda guy but #anyway i think hes the opposite of wwx in a really interesting way where wwx is usually portrayed as self destructive #but in truth his self destruction is all for other people #a la shen yuan #jiang cheng on the other hand will destroy himself if left alone for long enough #he's got too many emotions and none of the capabilities to cope. he's already running himself into the ground #he claws at his scabs so they dont heal hes the snake eating its own tail etc etc #my little specimen #if you made it this far im assuming youre kaya. hi oomfie #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #jiang cheng #jc #gdc #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation

753 notes · View notes