#guys it’s totally real i watched it myself /j

[ascel-vibes]

should i watch the mario trailer. should i do this to myself. /lh

#ascelchat #also by 'watch' i mean in a totally legal way haha #<<< refuses to give views to companies <3 #on one hand i could treat this like morbus and make it so i never see anything from the movie- (cause yknow who /lh) #on the other been seeing a lot of praise for j black which makes sense cause he funni guy- #but also tbh not expecting much actual quality wise from the movie cause. well. *points at companies* dsjkdhnjk #anywho anywho ramble aside should i do this to myself real question-

[joshslater]

Granny’s Will

A rewrite of JD's story. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

"You should stay away from him," she hissed in a low voice. I turned my head towards Cody's creepy granny and saw her leaning my way. "What?" I answered, not understanding what she meant. "Tell Cody you don't love him. You were only with him for the sex, but now understand how shallow you are. Tell him you are not good enough for him, clearly. You're also not good for him. He's just so full of disgusting thoughts now. Soon his grades are going to suffer. You're like a parasite, pumping him full of poison."

Her voice went harsher the further she went on. I just stared into my empty plate wondering if she was for real. If she would end the tirade with a "j/k lol", but I hadn't heard a single joke from her all evening. "I'm..." I started, unsure what to say. It was just so unhinged, like a rambling better suited a century ago.

"Should I get the desert?" Cody asked, returning from his bathroom break, and clearly not reading the mood of the room. We made a good couple on campus. He was the captain of the Lacrosse team, and supplemented his hard training on the team with some extra gym time to have a fitness magazine cover toned body. I was on the cheerleader team with body of a nymph. All rack and ass, long smooth, tanned legs, and tall enough to kiss him without standing on my toes. I decided to give my response to his granny right away, and left my chair to join him. "It's already here," I said and kissed him on the mouth. Not a quick kiss either, but with tongue and passion. With my tongue still in him I turned him around so I could see his grandmother. She looked pissed and her saggy face had turned red. Good. I locked eyes with her and gave her the finger behind Cody's back. Her eyes were turning red too. And glowed.

There was a sharp slap in my face, as if someone hit me with an open palm, and I felt a shock of pain through my entire body. I was thrown backward and fell, or perhaps rather forcefully pushed down, crashing into a bed. All pain was immediately gone and I was lying on my back in a silent and dim room. Faint sunlight glowed through the drawn curtains.

My thoughts were a jumble. While I didn't feel cold, I was naked and the sheets were damp with sweat. I leaned up, my eyes still adjusting to the lack of light, and saw a room I hadn't seen before. At the same time it was a kind of room I knew very well. Beat up weight bench, piles of laundry, X-box under the TV, and fit babes showing lots of skin on posters on the walls. Your standard sports jock room. Also filling the room was the dank smell of sweaty dude I also knew very well, and never liked when visiting the guys on the team for some... at home exercise.

"No fuckin' way…" I muttered, grabbing my throat hearing the deep mumble that escaped my lips. I felt the thick bulge in my neck, then stripped the sheets off me to see a massive, bulky body that wasn’t mine! “FUUUUUCK!” I shouted, jumping out of bed and hurling my beefy self to the full-length mirror hanging on the back of the door.

Staring back at me was a tall, tanned, and incredibly ripped jock, the epitome of a dumb fratboy. Handsome but dickish face framed by unruly curls. Wide, hefty rounded shoulders, pecs that bounced and flexed at even the slightest move, jutting out from my brawny chest. A killer 6 pack, shredded from practice, and the V-line of a god leading down to a big bulge in the trunks. My trunks. I turned to look at my back and suddenly the vision of my cheerleading friends giggling about “jockbutts” as we watched the guys play came to mind. Athletic, striated thighs and calves like footballs completed the look before ending in pair of big sweaty feet. The tongue of my kicks just by the door told me they were size 15. Dude, ya know what they say about big feet? Totally true, yo! I was starting to bone up just looking at myself, filling out the trunks! Wait till the chicks see me! WAIT! NO! Chicks?! I mean, my Bros… Nah, fuck dude why would they care? They’re just as swole! uuuuugh… my head….

I staggered from the mirror and fell back on the bed. What the fuck had just happened? My head was pounding and my stomach growling. I knew this was Cody's granny's fault, somehow, but spending any more time in this rank room wouldn't solve anything, and to leave I needed something more than the loose, grey trunks I was currently wearing. The room was a mess, but inside the wide open wardrobes I only saw winter clothes. I grabbed a pair of basket shorts from the floor next to the bed and put them on, and their pair of socks from the floor under the shorts. Just as I was about to open the door I also decided to step into the sneakers.

The house was foreign to me, but lots of the decorations and furnishings were familiar. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where my mother was making breakfast as if nothing was out of the ordinary. She offered me second helpings of everything, complained that I was eating her out of the house, and told me I needed to shower before heading to school. I tried to argue that I was going to the gym with Cody after school, but she firmly told me that wouldn't be of any help to anyone who had to sit near me. It was only after I was in the shower I realized I somehow knew my schedule for the day. What was going on?

The house was in the old suburb the city had turned into a rent-controlled zone. All the buildings looked much more dilapidated here compared to our real house, but the upshot was that the school was within walking distance. As I was short on time I threw on the same clothes and a sweatshirt, grabbed the backpack, and started to jog there. Halfway to school Cody's granny suddenly stepped out of nowhere just in front of me. "One week," she said.

"What the fuck is going on?" I said, still not used to hearing my deep voice. "You have one week to show you can control that lustful body of yours. If your dick squirts a single drop of your disgusting ball phlegm you'll be stuck like this where you can't hurt him," she said in her shrill voice and poked my chest with her nail.

Just as suddenly as she appeared she was gone, and I felt a chill down my spine to my balls. I'd never felt a sensation like that before, but then I'd been a dude for like an hour. It was like you needed to pee, but different, and I could feel my recent dick stiffening again. Obviously the old crow had gifted me with a horniness attack as a parting gift. It was almost physically painful to not touch my junk and rub one out right then and there. The remainder of the way to school was agony as I jogged past worn-down houses built for Korean war vets back when, with MILFs getting in their cars to get to work. Occasionally a car with a babe from school would zip by, and when Riley from my class waved I was so close to bust a nut. I don't think it was the actual jog that made me arrive at school all sweaty and smelly.

School was weird. Obviously I knew everyone in class, but somehow it wasn't a shock to them that I was suddenly this muscular jock. My usual spot had been moved to back in the room, and the teachers weren't really paying much of any attention to me. Which was probably a good thing, because man did I have a lot of issues to deal with. Who designed these desks? They were way too small to sit straight in. I found the only bearable way to sit in them was to slouch, legs spread apart to not slide off the seat. That however made a full display of my erratic boner. If I focused on what the teacher tried to tell us I could take attention away from my horny dick long enough for it to get soft, but as soon as one of the girls answered a question I could do nothing but stare at their back and remember from PE how they looked naked. Queue tenting and feeble attempts to cover it up.

I squirmed and sweated my way through the classes, half the time thinking a sweatshirt was the worst decision with how clammy I was and half the time thinking what a masterstroke it was to hide in it. I was close to losing it during lunch. You might think that just putting more people in a room wouldn't be an issue. You can only have so many people in your field of view after all, and the ratio of hot to average people is the same. But somehow the average-looking people melt away and your eyes keep darting between the super hot people, most of which I'd showered with at cheerleading practice. I did my best to keep focus on the food, and it kind of helped because as soon as I started eating I realized how hungry I was.

Time dragged on during the afternoon, and I did my best to stay unfocused. Listen to the teacher, but zone out from class interactions and certainly everyone in class, and above all don't think of your own body and how it feels. Most teachers left me alone, and the one that didn't I managed to give an answer that satisfied him enough that I wasn't totally asleep.

After school Cody and I went to the gym. I somehow knew that we usually did that on the days with no lacrosse practice, which was kind of unsettling to me. How much else of my mind and my memories had his grandmother soiled? It was nice to finally be alone with Cody, but he was acting quite different than he used to around me. I was after all just a teammate now, albeit someone he was friendly enough with to be his gym buddy. He seemed chattier and less guarded than I've ever known him. Lots of talk bout the cheerleading team and babes in general, which I did my best to deflect. We changed into our gym clothes, for me a grey tank top and shorts with a printed sunset on, and went to work. I was again shocked that I knew things I didn't know before, like how to use the gym equipment and spot for Cody. He for his part continued to talk about girls, and that's when it hit me, as I saw ourselves in a mirror wall. He was trying to impress me. Despite him being the captain, he clearly saw me as the top dawg, at least regarding girls and sex. The player among his peers.

As unsettling as some of the revelations at the gym had been, at the end, once I got Cody to focus on the exercises, it felt cleansing to work as hard as possible. It was like all of the sexual buildup over the day got released and replaced with glowing muscles. Most of it anyway. Walking back home from the gym alone with my thoughts I was confused with how the day had ended. Not only was I still with Cody, but I had somehow become his best buddy. It was bewildering why his granny had made that change, but I was grateful for it. Above all though it felt like I had a shot. I could survive one week of this and come out better for it.

Immediately as I stepped into the mess that was my room I wasn't so sure anymore. The walls were filled with scantily clad women, just at the line of what is acceptable to sell to students. Pop stars, actresses, and photo models. But worse than that was the smell. That jock room smell, heated by sunlight all day. Even before this transformation nonsense I would associate it with sex, though from an entirely different point of view. I could feel the horniness coming crashing in fast and rushed to the bathroom for another shower, a colder one.

I spent all the time between dinner and bedtime playing on the X-box, trying to avoid thinking about anything but the game. Several times during the games I caught myself joining in with all the sexist shit my teammates kept saying over the voice chat. It wasn't that it got me hard again, but it did make me worry about how easily bro speak kept creeping in.

The boner I woke up to was almost painful. The room was warm, I was hot, and my dick strained the fabric of the trunks I had gone to bed with. Barely awake my right hand almost automatically started to slowly grab and rub my hot rod when all of a sudden the last clouds of sleep vanished and in panic I realized what I was dangerously close to do. I jumped out of bed, rushed into the shower, and had another close call before I lowered the temperature. I needed to come up with some sort of plan to survive this week.

I threw together a shitty lunch box, protein bars and fruit, so I could avoid the school cafeteria. I put on a cut-off T to not melt in the classroom, and compression shorts as underwear in the hope of keeping that troublesome dick in place. I brought the tangled mess of headphones with me so I could tune out the class and focus on the book and the board. I was determined to not fail.

The day started out fine, though Mr. Carlton in English objected to me wearing the headphones. I told him to back off for one week, as I was on my period. The rest of the class laughed, he blushed, and left the matter. Honestly I scared myself again with that response as I kept having these short moments when I didn't act like myself, but like this douchy frat dude.

At lunchtime I was starting to feel real horny again. If not for the compression shorts under my loose basket shorts I would be visibly tenting. I went to the stadium to get away from everyone and do a few laps in the hope that physical exercise would keep the libido in check, like what happened when I worked out with Cody. Just as I had hoped the area was deserted. No one else was dumb enough to be out on the track at midday in this hot weather. I wanted to get two or four laps in, to get 800 or 1600 meters, but it was too hot. After one lap I could feel the sweat running down my back. Instead I ended up cooling my dick in the drinking fountain by the bleachers to numb it a bit, downed half a gallon of water, and ate my packed lunch.

It felt like things were going downhill from there. Jessica kept staring at me during US history and then invited herself to team up with me during chemistry. It was like she didn't care I had practically soaked my shirt during lunch. It took me longer than I want to admit, and a fragrant lab with ammonium chloride, to realize that perhaps she reacted the way she did because of how I smelled and not despite it. Of course that witch must have done something with my pheromones, if that wasn't new-age bullshit. That meant I would have to keep my distance from girls too, because no way her magic worked one way.

Thankfully next on the schedule was Lacrosse training with Cody and the team. I knew all these guys since I started cheerleading, some longer, but this was way different. I was one of them, moreover one they looked up to almost as much as Cody. I ought to have been harder than ever getting into gear with all those muscled bodies, but I barely rocked a semi. Though to be fair I was probably the best looking guy of the bunch. All those thoughts just vanished as soon as we entered the field. It was just me, the team, the coach, and the game.

I don't think I can put in words how exhilarating it was to not think of anything but what was happening right there and then. Time just rushed me by and we were heading back to the locker room again. Cody made sure to walk just next to me, patting my shoulder, and telling me how great it had been. He was right.

We talked about what had gone well, what we needed to improve, how Alex had screwed up all his passes, how Lauren from the cheerleader squad had looked at me throughout practice, how Cody's group project in Spanish was falling apart, what games I had been playing last night. Not until we stepped into the showers did it hit me that this was all wrong. I was his girlfriend, not his mate. I don't know if he noticed any shift in my demeanor, because as I was lost in those thoughts he began staring at me. "Fuck, you really are hung as a donkey" he said, and I looked down at my soapy hand absentmindedly jerking my fully erect dick off. Fuck! I stopped immediately. "Keep at it, bro. Looks like you need it. Why's everyone so quiet?" he said and left the showers. I realized we were the only ones left, though we had been the last ones back into the locker room from the field.

The showers only had one setting, lukewarm, so I couldn't go for a cold shower. I desperately needed one, apparently. I hadn't even noticed what I was doing before Cody rescued me, and I wasn't even through the second day. I quickly rinsed off the soap, made hasty work with the towel, and returned to the locker room.

"Looks like someone is ready," a smirking Lauren said from across the empty locker room. I was too surprised to hide anything with the towel in my hand. I stood frozen, like a deer in headlights, completely naked, and with a raging hardon. "I asked everyone if we could have a moment," she continued. She was wearing the white sneakers, the knee-high socks, and the cheerleading skirt from our uniform, but was topless. Her beautiful sand blonde, wavey hair reached down to her perky, round breasts. I had always been envious of that hair, but it was the boobs, jiggling as she approached me, that kept my attention. I could feel hormones rush into all the primate parts of my body while I stood still. She kept getting closer until at last her chest touched mine. It was like something snapped inside me, like a glass ampoule in a glow stick, that couldn't be put back. I grabbed her and kissed her, long and deep. To hell with Cody's granny's witch games. She did this, so she can undo it. I just needed to empty my balls into this slut. She wasn't wearing her spankies and I knew for a fact she was on her pills, so we were almost instantly on my towel on the bench with her legs over my shoulders, squeezing my fuck stick.

It was everything I had hoped for, though probably much quicker than she had hoped for, when my shattering orgasm came. Whoever said girls' orgasms were better had never tried out this body. Fucking hell how good it felt filling the bitch up. She was still smirking when I pulled out my dick and leaked our smoothie blend on my towel. "Now be a slutty boy and keep the rest of the chicks off Cody," she said, eyes glowing red.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Enough is Enough

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 4.6k

Includes- Namjoon is jealous, unrequited love, public sex, cock riding, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny

Gif Credit- @Jung-Koook

Masterlists- check out for more fics

����Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Namjoon Masterlist

J POV

I look up at the stage watching my best friend rap his part in BTS' new song

Namjoon asked me to come to their comeback but this time I wanted to be in the crowd for their performance

I'm always backstage and very rarely I get to experience the whole concert performance vibe every ARMY says is amazing

He argued with me but I put my foot down and he finally relented as long as I had a bodyguard with me and stayed in the front where he could watch me

As if he could do anything if anything did go down

I know he's worried about my safety but it's fine

No one except the staff knows me

In the crowd I'm just another ARMY

I've never been in any photos with Namjoon, nor any of the members, that have been released, so I'm good

I sing along with the song, jumping up and down, yelling his name like a fan girl

Because well I am

"Namjoon!", I scream

He glances at me yelling and rolls his eyes, a small smile forming on his face

Yeah he likes the attention

He'll never admit it but he likes it

If only he knew I'd give him all my attention anytime he wanted it

But I'm not going there again

One humiliation during high school was enough

He found out about my feelings, never said anything or talked to me about it then got a girlfriend a week later

If that doesn't scream friendzone then I don't know what will

Unrequited love sucks but at least he's still my best friend

The song draws to a close and they run off stage

But I know it's just for a wardrobe change

They have another song to perform

As I wait with the rest of the ARMYS, I send Namjoon a quick text

"You were great Joonie! Can't wait for the next song!"

I'm not expecting him to answer back because, hello he's changing and he has to get all the equipment back on really fast

So I'm surprised when my phone rings

It's just a smiley face with the cheeks pink ☺️ but still, he answered

I didn't even know he had his phone close by

I figured he'd read the text after the second performance when we're all back in the viewing room and I'd make fun of him

Like normal

Well, whatever

It's not a big deal

After a few minutes, BTS comes back on stage and gets into their positions for the next song

One of my favorites

Run BTS

Namjoon is dressed all in black, his black hair falling in his face and my heart beats faster

God, he's so hot

'Stop', I scold myself, 'Just pay attention to the song'

Shoving all unwanted through about Namjoon away, I focus on the guys as the music starts

Jungkook starts it and all of us in the crowd sing along with a majority of the girls around me just screaming for him

Each one of these girls would kill me if they knew he's my dorky friend

I gotta admit he looks so cool on stage

They all do and it's hilarious how much of a bunch of total dorks they all are in real life

Jungkook comes back to the center to sing the chorus and just for fun I scream, "Jungkook!" along with the girls, jumping and waving at him as if I don't know him

Being in the crowd is fun

"Jungkook!", I yell again

Namjoon's head immediately turns to me as I scream Jungkook's name again, his jaw clenched and he actually looks pissed off

I have no clue what that's about

I yell his name too

The chorus ends and Yoongi is up next with Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook moving to my side of the stage to wait for their cues to go back

"Yoongi!", I scream, waving my hands and jumping while he raps

Namjoon is up next

When I glance at him, he's standing with his arms crossed, a scowl on his face, his eyes on me

Ok what the hell?

Did I do something wrong?

Jungkook nudges him and his demeanor immediately changes as he gets into place for his part

He raps and I yell his name like I did for the other guys but he doesn't look over at me again

I push away the bad feeling I'm having and enjoy the rest of the song, singing along

Namjoon stands on a built part of the stage, doing his part as the song winds down

It ends with him in the middle, giving a sexy smoldering stare, the guys surrounding him

I clap and cheer with the crowd as they guys wave at us then one by one head backstage

"C'mon", the bodyguard says lowly and starts heading for a door near the back of the room

I slip out of the crowd, eager fans taking my space immediately as they wait for the next group to perform

As I follow the guard, I hope everything is ok with Namjoon

I don't know what I did to upset him but I don't want him to be mad

He should be happy after performing, feeling like he did a good job

Which he did and I'll remind him of that

The bodyguard opens the door to the viewing room and I step in

I immediately see Namjoon across the room, pacing back and forth

What is wrong with him?

"Hey Jo!", Jungkook smiles, waving at me

"Hi Kookie", I greet, smiling at him

Namjoon's head snaps up, his eyes on mine, a hard look on his face and I'm not gonna lie, I'm intimidated

He strides over to me and I'm worried about the confrontation that's about to happen

I steel myself as he gets closer

"Enough is enough", he growls

I'm expecting a shit storm so color me surprised when as soon as he gets to me, his hand moves to the back of my neck and he pulls me towards him, his lips crashing into mine

It takes me a second to register what's happening

'He's kissing you', my brain screams, 'Namjoon is kissing you'

Once that sinks in, I don't even question anything and immediately kiss him back

His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against him, his tongue licking my lip

As soon as I open my mouth, his tongue is against mine, playing and we both let out the most embarrassing moans

"Yeah I'm out", Jungkook says

"I'm coming too", Jimin chimes in

I hear the guys footsteps as they pass us but I can't do anything but kiss Namjoon

He's completely taken over me

"Lock the door Hobi", Yoongi tell him

Lock the door?

Why?

I hear the door closed and I assume it's just me and Namjoon left here

As soon as the door closes, Namjoon's hands are on my thighs, lifting me up

I wrap my legs around him, my arms moving around his neck

He walks over to the couch, sitting down on it, his lips never leaving mine

I don't know what's got into him but I'm not questioning it

His hands move to my back, his fingers unzipping my dress

Holy shit

What the fuck is happening?

I, however, don't stop a damn thing he's doing and actually help him by moving my arms through the dress sleeves

He separates from my mouth for the second it takes to get the dress off me, then he's right back to kissing me

And I'm aware I'm just in my

underwear and bra

Well if I'm gonna be undressed, so is he

I push the jacket he's wearing back and down his arms, him moving to help me get it off him

I kiss him, my tongue in his mouth as I shove his black t-shirt up, touching his hard muscles of his abs and broad chest

He's so fucking big, it's such a turn on

I keep tugging his shirt but his arms stay locked around me, kissing me desperately, like he's never going to again

Which I really don't know if he is

"Joonie", I whine, pressing kisses to his lips, "Off"

He moves his arms through the sleeves, then pulls away only long enough for me to get the shirt over his head, then again, mouth right against mine

His hands move to my back, slowly sliding up, his fingers leaving fire racing across every piece of skin he touches

He gets to my bra, undoing it like a pro and tossing it away

Of course his hands immediately cup my boobs, squeezing softly, his thumbs running over my nipples and making me even wetter than I am already

He breaks away from my lips only to attach his mouth to my nipple, sucking harshly

"Namjoon", I moan, pleasure hitting me

My hips move on their own, rubbing against his....holy shit....his hard on

He's hard?

Because of me?

I can't believe it

He switches nipples, his free hand slipping right into my panties, fingers running along my pussy

"Fuck", he groans against my nipple, "So wet"

Of course I am

The man I always wanted is kissing me, groping me, sucking on my nipple and touching my cunt

Of course I'm soaked

And I need more, I realize

I need him

This...while it's great, isn't cutting it

Grabbing his hand, I pull it out of my underwear and he actually whines, making my head spin with shock

Getting it together, I quickly undo his belt, getting his pants open

He crashes his lips back against mine, kissing me as he lifts himself up pulling his pants and boxers down, then moves his legs to get his sneakers and the rest of his bottom clothes off

Then he pulls me down on him, right against his hard dick

Goddamn, he feels so fucking big

His hands move to my panties, a tearing sound filling the room

The next thing I know my panties are gone and I'm sitting on his hard dick

Oh my god, this is really happening

"Sit on my cock", he murmurs against my lips, "Please baby. I've been dying to feel you around me baby"

His words are making my brain stutter

He's been dying to feel me on him?

Since when?

"Please", he begs and fuck me that's so hot

Lifting myself up, I reach between us and hold his cock up

Jesus, it feels massive and fucking thick

His hands grip my hips as I sink down on him, getting his head in

He breaks the kiss, his head falling back against the couch, moaning so loudly

"More baby. More"

I slowly push down, his thick cock spreading me wide open

Seriously, I've never had a dick open my pussy this much

Just feeling him slip inside, rubbing everywhere is insane

"Fuck", I whisper, shivers running up my back, the pleasure intense, just from getting him in

"All of me baby. Please. Take me all"

Oh I definitely will

I push down more until I'm finally sitting against his legs, his cock so deep inside

I clench him hard, making him moan, feeling how he's perfectly against every spot inside me

His eyes open, his head lifting to look at me

"You feel so fucking good", he groans, his hands squeezing my hips hard, "Fuck, so tight. Choking my cock"

I nod, "So big Joonie. Feels really good"

"Good baby. Wanna be good for you"

"You are", I assure him

He smiles, then pulls me to him, kissing me

We kiss for a few minutes, just feeling each other, getting used to each other

I can't help but clench on him so tightly

It's like my pussy has a mind of it's own, throbbing around him

He's hard as a rock and I can feel every part of his cock inside me

"Ride me", he murmurs against my lips

Not a problem

Keeping my arms around his neck, my lips on his, I slide up his cock to his head

Shit, his dick is long and so fucking fat

Dropping down his shaft, I take him all in, his cock spreading my hole so wide, my pussy full of him

"Oh my fucking god", he groans, his hands gripping my hips hard

Slipping up and down his cock, I bounce on him fast and hard, absolutely loving the way his cock feels, how hard he is, how massive he is

And the pleasure is so fucking incredible, it's insane

"Yes baby girl", he moans, his eyes watching me ride him, "Fuck you're so fucking beautiful baby. Riding my cock so fucking well. You feel so good baby"

"Joonie", I whimper as I fuck him, lifting his face to mine and kissing him wildly

His kiss matches my fervor, his hands moving to my ass, squeezing and helping me jump up and down his dick

I'm so fucking wet, it's insane, his fat head hitting my spot again and again

I never felt this much pleasure before

Of course it's him

I knew it was him

"God you're so wet", he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my neck, "It's all for me?"

"Yeah Joonie", I confirm, getting closer with each move, my cunt squeezing the life from his cock

"Fuck, you're getting so tight. Feels so good opening you up", he groans, "Gonna cum for me?"

I nod, sliding my hands into his sweaty black hair, holding on

"Scream my name baby"

I bounce a few more times, his cock sending me right into my orgasm

Pure bliss explodes in body, my body shaking hard, screaming his name

"Namjoon! Namjoon!"

"Yes, fuck", he growls, moving me up and down his cock, fucking me through my orgasm, "Yell for me baby"

I do, his name just falling from my lips so naturally

"That's right baby. Scream my name. No one else's. Not Jungkook or Yoongi or anyone. You scream only my name", he growls, "Got it?"

"Yes", I nod, it registering through the pleasure that he was jealous when I yelled his members names

That's why he was so upset on stage

He was jealous

That is shocking in itself and hard to wrap my head around

As the pleasure fades, I sit fully down on his cock, grinding on him, breathing hard

God that was fucking amazing

The next thing I know, Namjoon turns, laying me on my back, pulling out and making me whine from the loss of him

He, however, spreads my legs wide open, his tongue licking me like crazy

"Oh god", I moan, intense bliss running all over

"Fuck, tastes so good", he groans, his tongue sliding on my slit, inbetween my pussy lips, "Such sweet cream baby. I knew you'd taste this good. I knew it"

Well I had no idea

But he seems to be enjoying it

I lift my head to watch him and fuck he looks so good in-between my legs

Really enjoying it

And so am I

The top of his tongue flicks my clit and I moan from the spike in pleasure

"More Joonie"

"Here baby?", he asks, running his tongue along my clit, starting with the flat of his tongue along to the tip

"Yes Joonie! There!", I cry, burying my hand in his hair

His arms wrap around my legs, keeping them open, lavishing my clit in licks

"Such a cute clit baby. So small. Throbbing so hard for me", he comments as he pleasures me, "Such a pretty pussy"

I moan from his words, again not believing it's fucking Namjoon saying this to me

His tongue slips down, pushing into my hole

I gasp, immediately clenching around his tongue as he slides in as much as he can

"Mmmm", he groans, pulling his tongue out, then shoving it back in, tongue fucking me fast

My hips move on their own from the pleasure, from the desire to cum, fucking his face

God, I want to cum on his face

I dreamed of seeing him in between my legs for so long, eating my pussy as wildly as he is right now, for so long

I'm finally getting it and I'm not tearing my eyes from him

His tongue pulls out, sliding up, his mouth latching around my clit

He sucks once, gently, stars blasting in my vision from how amazing it feels

He sucks again

And again

And again

And with each suck, he goes faster, harder, playing and tugging, his tongue against my bump at the same time

My hips keep moving, my orgasm mounting, his name falling from my lips over and over

My back arches at his next suck, falling into an intense orgasm, my legs shaking around his head

"Namjoon! Oh, Namjoon! Baby!", I cry, pleasure washing over me, his mouth sucking me through it as I grind my pussy on his face

He moans too, as if he's the one orgasming, his tongue licking rapidly around my hole, swallowing my cum, his hands squeezing my thighs so hard

"Fucking good baby", he groans in between licks, cleaning my pussy

He pulls away when I finish, looking up at me, his face soaked in my cream

"I love eating your pussy baby", he says seriously

Oh my fucking god

"I...I.. loved it too", I admit

He smiles as he sits up, wiping his mouth, then pulling me closer to him by my legs

"Need to fuck you", he says, positioning his cock right at my hole

"Yes Joonie", I nod, wanting him so much

I don't know if this will happen again and I'm letting him do whatever he wants

His eyes move to my pussy as his cock enters me

"God you're pussy is so pretty", he murmurs, pushing inside, splitting me open so pleasurably, "Taking my cock so well. Fuck, that little hole is so pretty spreading for me"

He slides all in, his body shaking as his cock nestles inside me, head against my spot

"Fuck baby, your pussy looks so pretty wrapped around my cock", he says, mesmerized

He pulls back, then thrusts in hard, making me moan, his eyes watching where we meet as he fucks into me

His thrusts are hard and fast, stroke after stroke throwing me into bliss, impaling me on his fat cock

"God you're so creamy", he mutters, pounding into me, the drag of his cock so fucking incredible, "Making such a thick pretty ring around my cock. Want more of this cream all over"

I whimper, loving how good he is at dirty talk

I watch him fuck me and god, he's beautiful

He's so big- big arms, big chest, broad shoulders

I can see his muscles in his chest, his abs hard and tight as he ploughs into me

He's so sweaty, a sheen on his body, drops dripping down his chest, some dripping from his hair, falling on my stomach

Pleasure is all over his face and his body

He's so fucking hot

His eyes move from us, running along my body, biting his lip

"You're so beautiful", he murmurs, "Such a sexy little body, pretty pussy, gorgeous face. You're fucking perfect"

My mouth drops in disbelief that these words are coming out of his mouth

His eyes move to mine, gazing hard, "You're mine"

I blink in surprise

"Do you hear me?", he demands, leaning over me, one of his hands landing on the couch next to my head, his hips rolling into me faster, "You're fucking mine"

I nod, "Yeah Joonie"

"Only I get to touch you. Only I get to fuck you. No one else", he continues, the sound of his skin hitting mine so pretty, "Only I get to kiss you"

I nod, "Kiss me now Joonie"

He immediately leans down, his lips crashing into mine, tongue already playing with mine

I fall into his kiss, moving my legs around his waist, clenching around him

I need to feel him against me and I move my arms around him, pulling him flush on top of me, my hands roaming his broad back as I kiss him

His hand moves behind my back, lifting me up, keeping his sweaty body against mine, his pelvis rubbing against my clit with each stroke

His mouth moves against mine, his back muscles moving under my palms, the feeling turning me on so much

His other hand moves around my boob, groping me, his thumb playing with my nipple

"Mmmm", I whimper, my pussy throbbing around him so hard, so fast

I'm so close

His cock is fucking good, so skillful, keeping me in ecstacy

It's blowing my world

"Cum for me baby", he whispers in between kisses, "Cream my cock"

The next hit to my spot has ecstasy tidal waving over me as I cum all over his hard fat dick

"Joonie!", I cry, breaking the kiss, my fingers digging into his back as pure unwavering bliss pounds into my body

"Fuck, baby. I'm gonna cum", he moans

I lock my legs around him tightly, wanting him to fill me with cum

I'm in too much pleasure that I can't talk, my mind utterly blank, so I keep my legs around me

"Baby...Jo...I'm...I'm..oh fuck", he groans, sheathing his dick in my pussy, his cock throbbing hard, warm sticky cum shooting inside me

"Joanne. Baby, fuck", he cries, his big body shaking against me

"Namjoon!", I whimper, his cock feeling so good when he cums

I've never felt that before, never felt a cock so acutely while the guy was coming

It's probably because he's so fucking big

When he finishes, he lays down on top of me, his face in my neck

I slide one hand up into his hair, stroking softly

I also run my fingers up and down his back as well, loving the way his skin shivers, making me smile

I just want to hold him for a little bit before we get up and everything goes back to the way it was

Back to best friends

"I love you", he breathes

I freeze, wondering if I'm actually hearing him correctly

"What?", I whisper

"I love you", he repeats softly, "I love you so much"

"You do?", I ask, still in shock

He nods, "I...I was always in love with you. Always"

Always?

What does he mean always?

He had a girlfriend throughout high school, he got with her within a week of finding out about my feelings

He's dated other idols

What does he mean?

"But in school-"

"I loved you then too", he admits, blowing my world up

"But you had a girlfriend. A week after you found out my feelings for you"

"I...I didn't believe it", he says quietly, "Hae told me about your feelings but I didn't know if she was telling the truth. And I was too scared to say anything. I was scared to lose you if I told you how I felt and you didn't feel the same. And with Hannah, I had already had a date with her two days after I found out about your feelings and I just went with it"

I take this in and while it sucks I can't blame him

I was deathly afraid of losing him too, that's why I never said anything

And almost kicked the shit out of Hae when I found out what she said

"You're my best friend Jo, I needed you and I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship"

"And now?", I ask

He still has no idea that I love him, doesn't know if he's jeopardizing our friendship now

"I just...I can't take it anymore. I can't be around you without desperately wanting to kiss you", he whispers, "And I got so fucking jealous hearing you yell for Jungkook and Yoongi. I know I shouldn't have, I know you were just cheering for your friends but I was so jealous and angry. I didn't even plan on any of this. When you walked in, I made a snap choice and I kissed you. Everything that happened was amazing and I want more. I want to be with you, I want to be able to kiss you when I want, hold you when I want, stay the night with you, just be around you. And that made me tell you. I love you"

I smile, hearing those three words, I've always wanted to hear from him

"Joonie", I call, lifting his face to mine

His eyes avoid mine and I need him to look at me

"Baby", I whisper, his eyes finally gazing in mine, hope and fear in his, "I love you Namjoon"

Shock fills his eyes as he takes in my words

"I always loved you too baby", I tell him, "From high school. You're everything Joonie, everything I could ever want and more"

"Really?", he asks in disbelief

"Really baby. Everything you want I want. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to kiss you all the time, be in your strong arms, love you", I assure him, "You're mine Joonie and I'm never letting you go"

"Don't let me go baby", he whispers, "Don't baby. Ever. And I won't let you go"

"Deal Joonie", I smile, "I love you"

A huge beautiful bright smile breaks on his face, his dimples showing

"I love your smile Joonie", I say softly, gently touching his dimples, "It's beautiful"

"I love yours Jo", he answers, "I love you"

My smile widens, pressing my lips against his

He kisses me back and I'm so fucking happy

As we kiss, there's a pounding on the door

"Oi, are you done? We're walking around the hall like idiots!", Jungkook bellows

We pull away with Namjoon rolling his eyes, "Two minutes!"

"Awww", I whine

He smiles, running his fingers in my hair, "It's ok baby. We have all night to be together"

I perk up hearing that, "Yeah?"

He nods, "Yeah. We can go to my apartment or yours. We can eat, watch some TV. Then I'm gonna fuck you all night"

"All night?", I smirk

"Yeah", he nods, "In between we can cuddle and take naps"

I giggle, "Sounds good baby"

"Good", he agrees, giving me a quick peck, "Let's get up before these pain in my asses keep knocking"

I nod, both of us sitting up and collecting our clothes from around the room, putting them on

"Uh Joonie?", I call, holding my ripped panties up, "What am I supposed to do now?"

He grins, "Hmmm, well your dress is long enough to cover you so I'd say give them to me"

I raise my eyebrow but hand them to him and he proceeds to put them in his pocket

I roll my eyes, "You're such a guy"

"You're guy", he adds, coming closer, kissing my forehead

"Yeah, mine", I smile

"Hurry up!", Tae yells, knocking

Namjoon sighs, walking to the door, opening it

"It's about time!", Jungkook whines as he walks in, "Where should I not sit?"

Namjoon rolls his eyes, "That couch"

"Noted", he says, going to the other couch

The rest of the guys file in, sitting in the various chairs and couches in the room, avoid the one we fucked on

"Come baby", Namjoon says, taking my hand and leading us to "our" couch

He sits, then pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me

"Guess they're together", Hobi says loudly

"Yeah. Shut up", Namjoon answers, making me laugh

I lean back, moving my arm around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss

His soft lips kiss me back and I'm so happy he's finally mine

#namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic #bts namjoon smut #bts namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon fanfic #rm smut #rm fanfic #bts rm smut #bts rm fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut

[holdoncallfailed]

do you ever think about the parallels between damon and graham and paul and john? the childhood best friends and inseparable creative partners, one is the pusher for the dream, and the other one is the arty emotional live wire, the jealousy, competitiveness, emotional breakdown, and dissatisfaction/unhappiness with their dynamic. eventually, one gets a new creative partner, and the wedge becomes a chasm. yet only one of them got the opportunity to fully reconcile while the other was robbed of it.

of course, they're not the same, and the level of success does make for a lot of that separation. but I see how much time and effort it took for damon and graham to rebuild their relationship, knowing it couldn't go to what it once was but still working to repair it. glad they did, especially when you hear paul say that one should never put off telling someone you love them.

yeeeesss this has been a point of great interest for myself and certain other rpf scholars on this site (hi @elena-ferrante). watching paul in get back really reminded me of damon lol...i think it's interesting that part of the tension between d&g and j&p is that the domineering control freak "spokesman" member of the pair comes across as the one calling the shots but is in fact so full of admiration for and places such a high value on the opinion of the other that he becomes sort of deferential to him... i think they all struggle(d) with their identities and public images being intertwined. but i also think that there is/was more love between them than we could possibly understand from the outside. i really sincerely think that john and paul would have reconciled if they'd been given enough time.

speaking more broadly to your point about the wedge & the chasm: i think another thing about why bands are so interesting and why they capture the public imagination is that they frequently present this homosocial fantasy of companionship that is very much rooted in an adolescent configuration of life , i.e. hanging out with your friends all the time, doing whatever you want, responsible for only yourselves, obligated to each other out of a shared passion. and that lifestyle is not compatible with The Institution of Adulthood, i.e. stable career, marriage and family-rearing, which still feels compulsory—if not totally inescapable—for most people in [heterosexual] society. a band can be a world unto itself but it is not the real world. there are soooooooooo many examples of bands falling apart once a member gets married and/or commits to a new creative partner because that development inevitably ruins the fantasy on which the band was built, consciously or subconsciously. the real world comes careening back into focus...and you can't ever get that old life back once you've deviated from it.

i think the assumption within heterosexual society that homosociality is something that one "ages out of" is very pervasive (and homophobic, natch, but we don't have to get into that now). that homosocial relationships—or even friendships more generally—are always ultimately secondary to romantic relationships (specifically marriage) is something that i think a lot of people struggle with as they move further into adulthood (i know i am lol). it just happened on a much more drastic scale for these guys because of their fame.

also so much of the stuff in this post is very damon & graham coded...

well anyway let's all kill ourselves.

#Anonymous

[canonically47]

Share the Disventure Camp thoughts Geo. Also, now that you've seen both seasons, what are your All Stars predictions?

oliver was one of the best parts of the season and i loved him so much ohhh the skrunkle

aiden & james were my favorite characters i think! <333 i really liked their development i love gay people i screamed at their first real kiss

it took a while for me to get used to every character because of their mics and acting. some of the acting was not believable at all and was the reason i dislikes some characters for a bit (cough rosa maria cough) before eventually warming up to them. it’s clear they improved a lot and found better actors for season 1. i’m curious how the S2 actors will be in S3.

maggy was genuinely annoying and not just because of her voice. sorry :(

lake was amazing!! i loved her arc!

connor was a good guy and i liked him, but i wouldn’t have brought him back for all-stars and i definitely wouldn’t have paired him with riya. that 21 year age gap is not looking good.

I LOVED HUNTESSALLY SO MUCH OH MY GOD THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME POLY REPRESENTATION IN MEDIA IS THE BEST STOP I WILL CRY OMGMGMGMGGM why are they fighting in the S3 opening. someone save me. huntessally stay strong. STAY STRONG!!!!!

WHY IS YUL YELLOW 💀 also i hated his ass “a latina stealing why doesn’t that surprise me” NAH MF YOU CANNOT BE REDEEMED I’M SORRY MAN YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN 💀

anyone wanna talk about how weird some challenges were? no? like making people kiss other people just for a challenge? i know it’s fiction but? what if someone is uncomfortable with it? yk? my aro ass couldn’t watch most of those scenes like ik it was to make some ships kiss and probably appeal to the fans but nah. you lost me brah. and outing aiden (while not specifically saying his name but yk) like. wow. this is. not fun! weird episodes

karol fuck you

riya, thin ice, i like you for your assholery but leaving aiden hanging left ME hanging as a fan of both. sadge

ally should’ve been a scene kid that’s all i came here to say

fuck you yul hope ur the first boot of S3

why was nina there. /vvvneg

now for predictions/wishes:

YUL FIRST BOOT WOOHOO 💯💯💯 /hj

if i don’t get gabellie & tessally alliance i will actually cry myself to sleep for those entire ten months the show will be airing i mean it guys i’m so fucking serious /j

alec and fiore need to make up or i will actually go bonkers and die

yul first boot

trevek do gay shit & krystal breaks them apart every time because they’re so cringe every time they flirt or something not in the high school couple way but just sooo fucking bad at flirting that it is physically damaging to everyone around them

nina dies in a fire YAY!!! WOOHOO!!! PARTY!!! (seriously she was the most annoying gimmick of the season hope she just disappears and its not brought up ever)

maybe. if connor is there. and he gives advice. he can give alec and fiore advice. right. right guys. I MISS MY FATHER-DAUGHTER DUO OKAY WAAAAAAA

jake will be a fucking idiot and hate aiden for NO reason because he is a fucking idiot. love him tho but i was hoping he wouldn’t be as insecure in s3 like girl get a therapist cmon

if i don’t get james-tom friendship.......

miriam early boot 😞 sorry queen 😞 i got this feeling 😞 inside my bones 😞

ashley early boot (pleasepleaseplease WHO ASKED FOR HER TO BE HERE i wanted nick or kai back so bad omfg)

this is more based on a fanart i saw but fiore should totally terrorize aiden and aiden just hates her ass

i want the teams to form then switch a bit so that there’s both s1 and s2 contestants on both teams bc wdym the teams are s1 and s2. thats the worst decision yet and the season hasnt even started

#disventure camp #disventure camp season 1 #disventure camp season 2 #campamento desventura #disventure camp all stars #odd nation cartoons

[silviakundera]

Ok I'm trying Legend of Fuyao again. This time perhaps I will triumph! I left off like 2 years ago on ep 26 or so.

Refreshing my memory by skating thru ep 16

oh look, it's sidekick bro I never cared about. Pretty sure his role in the narrative is to be a drag on FL. And fighter guy! He's much more useful.

This period is where I previously began losing my patience with the show. A lot of story time and 16 episodes had passed and I wanted to see FL taking center stage, being a powerful threat. I wanted her to be saving her love interest approx as much as he was saving her. The opening in ep 16 is right back to a situation where I want to see FL beating ass and not Wuji to show up to save the day. Scram, future boyfriend! Ladies are FIGHTING. 🙅

(past me may not have known exactly what I wanted but the answer was A Journey to Love)

It was the whiplash - Oh cool, she's fighting alongside him! ...and then he's knocking her out to be his pawn again :/

But rewatching now, I think I was in the wrong mood. I am older & wiser! I can be patient. I have been promised a battle couple and Fuyao being awesome. I can wait. 😇

Watching the prime minister character be manipulated is entertaining. Fuyao is handling situation pretty well, actually. "The Earth Abdorbing Bell is back to its rightful owner. I've also found Xiaoqi. Why do I need to stay here?" THANK YOU for asking this very pertinent question, protagonist! Her rationale to stay.... doesn't make much sense, unfortunately. Because the narrative (er, the servants) requires it!

"Rest assured? I have been in this office for thirty seven years and I've never had a restful day." idk Mr Prime Minister, maybe u need a new job.

Ok, sneak out and leaving a fake corpse. Not a terrible plan. I especially like the part where u set the mansion on fire.

Prime Minister's foster son is so good looking he's making everyone else in this drama look bad. I like his sullen murder son vibes. Very Hao Du of Long Ballad. MDL says he's basically done nothing since. He was the ML in a 2020 drama that never aired. 💀

I really don't get Wuji. Why is he even involving Fuyao in things. I don't believe he has any romantic feelings at this point. If u can control this nation but can't control her, then... why? I suppose we have to go with ✨fate✨.

Dragon scale armor! Makes me think of the dark tale behind such garb in c-novel Heart Protection.

Why was the doctor randomly lurking around the PM mansion in this dark with a face mask? eh, a man's gotta have hobbies.

Ep 17

So Doctor had a secret mission, ran into Fuyao burning shit down out of happenstance. and now he's dragging her along. I vaguely recall this.

So. Many. Robes. Curtains. Twirling. the twirling I caaaaaaaan't AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hope I wasn't expected to find any of that sexy. It was extra and hilarious as hell, though. I 100% understand why FL is so done with this dude and ready to go home.

Actually, one moment had real dramatic tension and sexual tension for me. The scene where the prime minister shows up with his soliders and ML is sitting on the bed, acting unbothered, and she's hiding under the blanket. Then slides her hand out and sighs to complete the act. 👌 👌

Then things get INTERESTING as they embark on misc mission things in secret tunnels.

She's like holy shit exploitative royals are trash.

And he's all.... well if I'm Like That would you still be hanging here with me. She sidesteps the question (as she should, since he has all the power). But then, could YOU give me what I want? And he seems intrigued, I presume because then he has something over her.. It feels like a TEMPTATION MOMENT.

Fuyao: nah j/k I'll get whatever I need myself

@dangermousie mentioned to me that Fuyao is very complete in herself. That's really intriguing to me, considering how so many of the characters seem tormented & controlled/restrained by a need to live up to a legacy or another person's expectations.

that CGI magic hamster tho

Totally forgot the reveal of them being ~fated enemies is this early. So she is supposed to break the seals and go to five kingdoms to do it. But he has a mission to STOP the girl w the 5 colored stone. Now he has a character & plot reason to keep tabs on her! ✔ (actually he has those reasons to simply KILL her lmao but protagonist halo, sorry my friend)

Love that she's not a sucker and won't agree to a bet where she has to be an obedient servant if she loses. Just take reasonable requests. But I wish she didn't just take him at his word that he's the one who can help her break her seal. He's a lying liar who lies!

I like that he's a bit uncertain/dubious about the legend that this girl will Bring About The End. Because that certainly sounds wild. Especially since he met her and she seems pretty normal.

#legend of fuyao #cdrama #spoilers #silvia drama reactions

[standardquip]

Gungrave live reactions

for the entire series CW: sexism(?), racism(?), vulgar language, I am a 36 year old man who did not censor my thoughts as I was watching it. This took a little over a month and is just a compilation of discord messages I sent

gotta say the opening scene of the first ep is great I wish his name wasn't "Brandon Heat" though I'm sorry but that's a lame name Especially for an anime ok his anime name is "Beyond the Grave" Glad we got that established

I'm about 2/3 through the first ep and this is definitely a 90s anime 😂 (not that there's anything wrong with that)

gungrave ep 2 They named the black kid kenny I will be very surprised if kenny doesn't die this ep

someone died in ep2 It was not kenny I am genuinely shocked here's to ep3

kenny has finally died But so did a lot of other people RIP Kenny

It's going a lot harder (emotionally) than I was expecting, given the first ep I'm just starting ep4 now

so far my biggest problem with gungrave is that brandon seems like a mute character but he talks sometimes But the times he talks make no sense, they're not really that important So the whole decision to not talk a lot seems super awkward instead

yeah edgy teen show is definitely ep 1 and not any ep after that (so far) (I'm only on ep 4)

another thing that bugs me is all the pans are weirdly fast but the mute/not actually thing brandon does bugs me way more than the pans

ep6 I like harry more than brandon didn't anticipate that

oh god the audio delay on this ep is horrible I hope it's just this one ep and not the rest of them

ep11 of gungrave bold strategy, cotton.gif let's see if it pays off it only worked out because of plot armor

ep12 of gungrave Brandon got a hair cut and looks like a real yakuza now

… I hate it

gungrave ep14 normally I don't care about fictitious relationships or how problematic they are but maria has convinced herself she loves her grandfather, who raised her, because brandon broke up with her and orchestrated a perfect moment And now she's pregnant by her grandfather and like this is scummy in so many different ways but mostly I just feel kinda 😩 about what it says about maria's intelligence in fact all the women in this series (actually now that I think about it, there is literally ONLY TWO) are just really fucking dumb

ep14 has some real beautiful compositional symbolism (unsure if that's the accurate term) Harry wears white and brandon wears black harry is in the shadow and brandon isn't harry tries to get brandon to betray the family and of course brandon won't. He goes to shoot harry. But doesn't and starts crying the gun lands precisely in the middle. Implying brandon's thinking about it? Or maybe it's just for symmetry. idk

this scene really slaps you over the head with symbolism. I don't care. I'm a fan

damn this show took a fucking turn

oh good just in time for Harry's break down ep15 is where the grey haired brandon comes in!

Maria is the dumbest bitch ever "I just found out brandon is alive! Oh I didn't see him myself. An aide of mine said they talked to him" Maria: Cries from happiness "Oh just knowing he's alive is enough!" bitch please supernatural stuff isn't known in this canon do you just believe everything you're told? wtf This is some pregnancy psychosis shit

damn you think Harry went crazy with power but he really went crazy with power

damn what's in this suitcase that makes it weigh so much ep18 brandon finally comes out of a coma

ep18 is where ep1 left off

while watching gungrave I had some fever memory recollection of an anime called Heat Guy J So I looked it up It seems to be a combination of robocop and minority report?? Also it has a werewolf apparently

ep22 of gungrave I think I can fit this in before I need to leave this is totally gonna end with mika, who is like 17, dating brandon/grave if it doesn't, I'm gonna be surprised so all three women in this show will get with dramatically older guys and also be stupid idiots

hm ok brandon/grave only has 10 days of life left unless they magically come up with a different way to make him live so there's 2 eps to figure that out and/or have sex we'll seeeeeeeeeee oh, 4 eps actually Whatever anyway I'm out for a few hours to the family function

gonna attempt to finish gungrave I'm starting ep 23 of 26 gonna play them at 1.5x normal speed good mika (16ish) professes her love for grave (40+, died once) and grave is like "I'll be your guardian and protect you but that's all" Good We don't need yet another pedo relationship in this anime

ep24 "promise me you won't die before me" the girl who married a guy 30 years her senior says 🙄 oh I guess this was foreshadowing She got shot and died

grave is literally falling apart like bad pottery ep25

lmao harry, the guy who has no issues murdering literally anybody, swerved to avoid a cat in the road

the crash from the cat was so bad his whole life flashed before his eyes. This ep was a huge flashback oh grave's hair is white instead of grey now I guess because he's almost dead… again ep26 Last one

it's over they killed eachother

#gungrave #sqreacts #gungrave live reacts #Youtube

[dailyxambi]

ONE OF MY LOA SUCCESS STORY

warning: a little crazyyy and funny ft. jungkook from bts ( clickbait?)

this is also when i was learning about law of attraction before law of assumption

back in high school, i got a free reading done and the reader recommended me to script traits i wanted in a significant other. this will then manifest into the 3D so they said. being a kid who was barely starting to get into law of attraction/ manifesting, i decided to script just for the fun of it. whether it happens or not, it really wouldnt affect me.

guess who i based my scripting on? MF JUNGKOOK FROM BTS! okayyy i wasnt delusional enough to say i wanted to marry /date this man. should of could of. i just scripted that he was probably the closest to my ideal type and it would be nice to have someone similar to him especially since i look up to him sm as an artist. he’s also just a very good looking man .ofc i wrote down other things i wanted in a significant other and my DUMBASS decided to script down some bad traits as well. this was so that if the script did manifest into the 3D, i would know. note: i wrote it january of that year and totally forgot about it due to that fact that i didnt care if it happened or not. i do remember consciously joking around/ intuitively thinking “watch it really happens irl” after i finished scripting. totally detached myself from it. fast forward to march, i ended up meeting this guy online and we hit it off pretty well. he was from across the country so we would facetime a lot and bond through the phone. a week after talking w him the journal i scripted in popped out of nowhere making me realize HOW HE WAS EXACTLY WHAT I WROTE DOWN🫣did he look like jungkook? FAT NO but he was not just a virgo but a september virgo, korean, same initials j.j, musically inclined, tall, great fashion senses, he even had all the bad traits i stated in the journal. you’re probably wondering “ great, when is the wedding?” you got the person you wanted. you go girl☺️!

you see… sometimes the universe gives you what you WANT to show you it’s not what you NEED. i got to meet the man of my “dream” and he wasnt at all what i thought i wanted in a significant other? who knows maybe my self doubts was lying, telling me i’m not ready to receive what i want but in my guts, i just knew he wasnt the one for me. in a way, it felt like the universe was proving itself, “ loa is real. make sure you really knows what you want.” i literally told him i manifesting him and dipped the next week or so🙈 he was like, “ okay, what do i do with this info? ” LMAOOO like idk i just wanted to inform you goodbye😂 being for real now, but i told him i didnt want to continue whatever we were starting because i couldn’t seeing myself liking him in the long run. he also lived really far + the bad traits were showing💀🚩 anyways he has a gf now and is living his life.

HOW HAS THIS EXPERIENCE CONTINUE TO MANIFEST ITSELF IN MY LIFE?

im pretty sure a lot of you guys have heard of karmic people/ karmic relationships -> people who come into your life to teach you lessons. it’s really hard for me to be attracted to somebody and whenever i am, their name starts w a j and they’re a virgo💀 . i have a great guy friend ( j name ) who i had no romantic feelings for. there was one night where he was being really sweet and i thought to myself that he wouldnt make a bad boyfriend. hypothesis if i had feelings for him, he’d be a great boyfriend. a couple days later, i found out that he was a virgo. possibly a coincidence, i cannot avoid every j name, virgo man. in another scenario, i decided to shoot my shot w a stranger at the library and it was my absolute first time asking for someone’s number. ofc his name started w j. i went back to my dorm that night and told my roommate “ i GUARANTEE you he is a virgo” . just confirmed today, he is a virgo🤭 everytime it happened, i would get a flashback to the script and an inner voice telling me “ nope, that’s not the one”. could be my assumption that i wouldnt end up w virgo man that keeps manifesting but certain things doesnt need explanation. you just intuitively know. i also no longer believe in coincidences. if you made it this far ily xx maybe follow and stick around for when i tell you about the time i manifested scoliosis✌🏻✨

brb on my way to manifest THE JEON JUNGKOOK🏃‍♀️

love, amber xx

#law of assumption #law of attraction #loa success #success story #law of manifestation #manifestyourdreams #manifestation #LOA #neville goddard #3D #kpop #affirmations 💞 #jungkook

[rye-kin]

Ok so. Musical is a bit of a mess to put it lightly. I am aware of that in the same way that I am aware that Russel Crowe as Javert is a bit of a mess. However I am a known enjoyer of things that are a bit of a mess.

Anyways. Part of where like recordings of the soundtrack fall flat is that the Broadway version that is our most accessible recording and most often preformed version makes Jekyll just. The wettest rat of a man, as in even when he's being a bitch, he's being played up as like. A dishrag. It's worst in Confrontation (the Complete Works version with Anthony Warlow is the one that trended on TikTok for a reason and that is because Jekyll doesn't sound like a sad cat reaction image) but even when he's going "Fuck these guys I'll just do it myself," he sounds like he'd be stopped by a stiff breeze. My humble opinion is that. This man is not in fact *that* level of pathetic. Like he's pathetic, just not. That pathetic. He's a man who lives on the bleeding edge of science and you don't do that if you are that level of made of tissue paper. The Complete Works is tonally a bit more unhinged but totals out to like two hours WITHOUT any of the spoken segments and a couple of the songs that are like! Good from the broadway version just don't hit quite right there! Honestly you could make a playlist slamming together songs from both versions and come away with something much more. Maybe not accurate per say, but probably more entertaining.

That is all that will be remotely coherent. This is the point where I explain a musical that I am sorry in advance if you've seen because Long Tangent. Closing out my proper J&H Musical Thoughts here, you are welcome to just Ignore the rest of this thing.

I am in fact "guy who watches musicals once, goes 'huh, neat,' and then starts grabbing songs for their home-grown blorbos" so I happen to have a collection of musical soundtracks (except Hamilton. I've self imposed a Hamilton ban because that's all there would be otherwise) to pull from just on hand ready to go. And I came to. Well, easily one of the conclusions ever because I was weighing between songs from J&H and Finding Neverland for a playlist. That is that, for Some reason, the latter half of Finding Neverland is like. The tonal opposite of J&H but starts coming close to the duality of man themes in similar ways.

This is mostly weird because Finding Neverland is a musical that is, in theory, based off of REAL MAN playwright James Barrie. The Peter Pan guy. The show is like a Marginally more fantastical Hamilton type of approach where you can tell that this is Not How These Things Happened In Real Life but in a way where it's like "Let's use our imagination together to get through the worst of life, as a Group!!" until RIGHT before you go to intermission where you get "Circus of your Mind" and "Live by the Hook". Circus of your Mind is like okay sure just the rising action higher tensions version of things happening in this dude's imagination, things are bad now, sure. Why not. "Live by the Hook" is directly after that and is where fictional character Captain Hook appears to introduce himself to James Barrie as "the part of you you don't like to talk about at tea parties" and tell him he needs to write a properly scary villain. Hook cameos in the background of like Multiple scenes in the rest of the play as a shadow (limited by Hook sharing an actor with another character for "Oh look the more intense part of him he doesn't like is the same as the guy putting financial pressure on him ohhh we're Cool and Smart" reasons) to be like? Motivating I guess? This is mostly weird as all hell because, again, this is ostensibly about a real guy?? Baffling choice here, up there with the romance plot existing at all (dude was ???? dude was something but not. The cheater who ditched his wife for a dying woman THAT's pretty sure).

The rest of the plays aren't all that similar but if you want same energy opposite directions for like. "Façade Reprise 1," and "Confrontation" then "All of London is Here," for the former and "Live by the Hook," and "Stronger" for the latter are sure out there I guess? If you need songs for a playlist where those are just too negative ig.

If you haven't listened to Finding Neverland it's pretty good if you approach it as not biographical, although I saw it live off Broadway first and I cannot, for the life of me, find the song that took the place of All of London in that version which has been driving me BATTY for like four years now.

That's the rant, I am sorry for inflicting this on you lol, ur design for Hyde is the fun sorta menacing which? Vibes!

Wow… Gawdamn

Though I really see we’re your coming from, this is so real and stands on its own…

#jekyll and hyde #musicals #submissions to ronnie

[consumeroflemoans]

i want to hear you talk about parasocial relationships if you feel up to it

Sure! I can totally talk about parasocial relationships. Just keep in mind, I am in no way an expert and most of what I talk about is a culmination of what I have witnessed and information I have gathered from videos covering the topic. If you want to learn more, there are plenty of more qualified people discussing the topic out there.

Also as a warning, this isn’t going to be very structured, it’s just kind of me rambling and going off on whatever tangent my brain takes me.

Parasocial relationships are essentially a one sided relationship with someone you don’t actually know. It can extend to any sort of celebrity, content creator, or even fictional character.

It’s near impossible not to develop one nowadays with how widespread the internet and fan culture is. I’ve mentioned this before, but I think the growth in popularity of streaming in particular has contributed to the boom in parasocial relationships. People can now interact directly with people they deep as popular or ‘famous’ in some regard.

Now, I’m definitely not saying that’s a bad thing. Parasocial relationships can allow you to form a community of fans and get to know people with similar interests. Feeling that sense of belonging is very important. I’ve just had my share of parasocial relationships, some of them even bordering on unhealthy for myself, so I’m a big advocate for learning to recognize when your parasocial relationship is bordering on unhealthy.

I feel like whenever you get invested in a person online, whether it’s a streamer or even someone on social media, it’s important to take a step back and remind yourself that you don’t really know them and they don’t really know you.

I’ve seen too many horror stories of fans believing they’re owed something because they gave something (whether it be time, money, or gifts) to someone they adore.

As an example, one of the worse things I’ve seen has been in the VTuber community- Vox Akuma from Nijisanji in particular. I’m not super into the VTuber community, so apologies if I get something wrong. This is entirely an outsider’s perspective from what I have seen.

Vox had somewhat suggestive content in the past along with ‘boyfriend experiences’. (I believe some things like his ASMRs have now been deleted). As a result, he drew a crowd that wanted that content. Unfortunately, many grew possessive of him, even attacking many of his fellow VTubers and friends for even speaking to him.

Another one that I still have Vietnam flashbacks from was the boom of Dream stans several years ago with the dramatic growth in popularity of the Dream SMP. (Absolute no hate to Dream stans btw, I’m just calling out the toxic ones (: ). This one was definitely more mainstream than the VTuber example, at least from what I’ve seen. The ‘Dreamsexuals’, the obsession with knowing Dream’s face, the incessant shipping of him with his friends, and much more. I don’t really want to touch the scandals that have revolved around that group, but it’s filled with toxic parasocial relationships.

The last one that I’ll touch on is one I have much more personal experience with, because one of my best friends is in the community. Taylor Swift. (Please do not doxx me ty, I am a simple guy /j). I’ve seen quite a few unhealthy parasocial relationships revolving around her. Many people are so invested in her life, obsessing over her relationships, deciphering her music, and genuinely considering her like a best friend. Being a fan of her is great! Have fun, enjoy her music, it is really good. It’s just the digging into her life, even competing over who knows more of her personal information, it’s really…odd. It’s important to remember these are real people and they’re not your best friends.

There are many, many more examples I could list just from what I’ve seen. I usually don’t pay much attention to celebrity’s lives and I rarely watch streamers. These are just things I’ve heard and witnessed from more popular content creators.

There’s also the point that it doesn’t have to be a real person to be a parasocial relationship! Getting obsessive over a character can be unhealthy for you and fellow fans of that character. One of the more extreme examples I can think of is Sans fangirls (One again, only calling out the toxic ones, a lot of them are chill). Also no specific examples, but generally anyone that attacks another person for enjoying a different ship or not subscribing to their personal headcanon about a character. There’s people on every fandom, I’m sure you know of one.

Enjoying characters and content creators is great! Even obsessing over them can be fun (everyone knows I have experience with that lmao). It’s just important to check yourself on occasion, make sure what you’re doing isn’t potentially harming the creator, your fellow fans, or even yourself.

This topic is honestly fascinating for me to explore. Dynamics between fans and creators have changed quite a bit now that people have more access to each other and it’s important to recognize and explore them.

Please let me know if you have any comments or corrections about any of these topics! I’d love to know what others think and maybe their own perspectives.

I’m gonna go study for my calc test now 🫠

#ask lemon #parasocial relationships #parasocial behavior

[cultivatedmemes]

Totally Normal and Not Suspicious At All Starters feel free to change gender specific words, pronouns, whatever you like to make it fit your muse better!

❝ Your vehicle is parked squarely in the ‘nobody gives a fuck’ zone. ❞

❝ Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific.  It was because shut up. Shut up is why. ❞

❝ I’d throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting. ❞

❝ This is exactly why babies shouldn't be allowed to dual wield flintlock pistols. ❞

❝ Why don’t you take a number and get in line? I’ve already got mine! It’s the first number there is. An angry, trembling digit, towering and erect, pointing directly at the trashfaced kingpin of inexplicable horseshit himself: GOD! ❞

❝ Shit. Let’s be santa. ❞

❝ That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard get said. ❞

❝ The dignitary is one of the superiors who makes me nervous, but the list of superiors that make me nervous in fact includes all of my superiors. And many of my inferiors. ❞

❝ God launders in mysterious ways. ❞

❝ Let’s just have our chat, then it can naturally occur to you to be an idiot in the due course of time. ❞

❝ Optimism through stalwart skepticism is a defect not everyone is lucky enough to be cursed with. ❞

❝ This shit's more real than kraft mayo. ❞

❝ It’s all masked in this flowery sort of frothy poetic jackassery that nobody really cares about. ❞

❝ If you can’t figure shit out by fucking around, you don’t belong near computers. ❞

❝ Too bad, that would have spared you from making a fool of yourself. And, more importantly, spared me from having to watch. ❞

❝ I can’t control myself. I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks. ❞

❝ I am being pleasant and agreeable and I will gently lower magnificent, coruscating column of hot ‘fuck you’ down the throat of anyone who says otherwise. ❞

❝ Remember pants? You used to love pants! ❞

❝ Are we not friends anymore because of the stuff I said? ❞

❝ I just won [Name] tantrum bingo. ❞

❝ Why would I ‘got to’? I don’t ‘got to’ and every time you take my help for granted, I feel like I ‘got to’ a little less. ❞

❝ He’s the duly elected mayor of the fruity rumpus asshole factory. ❞

❝ You should sit your ass tight and do the fuck what i tell you the fuck to fucking do! ❞

❝ There’s a cake in the toilet. ❞

❝ Hey guess what, new orders. No more impromptu amputations. ❞ / ❝ Impromptutations. ❞

❝ Actually, it’s sort of hilarious. Or it would be, if it didn’t affect me personally. ❞

❝ I came to the sobering realization that things will never stop from keep happening constantly. ❞

❝ No, I flip out to ill jams because they kick ass. ❞

❝ The best thing about how I did that is how it in no way will ever come back to bite us in the ass ever.❞

❝ Can I lick the paintings? ❞

❝ You will quickly meet some friendly crocodiles. They will try to eat you. But that’s just their way of being friendly! ❞

❝ Sometimes at night I pray for burglars. ❞

❝ I could give myself a hernia trying to be a big a douche as that guy. ❞

❝ The problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking fuzzy muppet dong. ❞

❝ Well shit. That was a hell of a mystery that no one thought was a mystery and didn't even really need solving. But damn if it didn't just get solved, so nice work. ❞

❝ Sounds like you wanna make this needlessly melodramatic. ❞

❝ Why don’t you come up here so I can push you off this building? ❞

❝ Jeez, why does everyone always die so much? ❞

❝ Everybody shut the fuck up, I hate you both, etc. etc. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, there is important business to discuss. ❞

❝ Why do you work so hard at being so awful? ❞

❝ Shucks!! ❞ / ❝ Hey, I'm upset about it too, but lets watch the fucking language.❞

❝ I have a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty. ❞

❝ Are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory? ❞

❝ We're safer than some flintstone vitamins in a bottle. Keep twisting junior, all you get is clicks. ❞

❝ The circle of stupidity is complete. ❞

#rp starters #sentence starters #rp memes #rp prompts #Ask memes #rp meme #ask meme

[brawltogethernow]

@mirrorfalls​ submitted: Came across this while searching for James Bond’s scrambled-eggs recipe (long story). Your thoughts?

~~

But did you find James Bond’s scrambled eggs recipe?

In this article, Scocca laments his inability to find accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable to read with his young son, while also demonstrating a mysterious aversion to looking at DC and Marvel’s lines of comics for children, which is where the accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable for reading with young children are. He wants his elementary schooler to be able to safely have the run of all superhero media so he doesn’t have to touch the yucky baby books.

This is not an industry-wide crisis. This is just one dude who got paid to write an article where he accidentally exposed one of his personal hangups.

The child headed toward the trade paperbacks of Marvel and D.C. superhero titles on the side wall […] a few steps in front of me. […] Is he with you? a clerk asked me. I said he was. You know, the clerk said, we have a kids’ section. The clerk gestured backward, at a few shelves near the entrance. I said, Thanks, we know and tried throwing in a little shrug, as the kid kept going.

You can’t just turn a seven-year-old child loose in a comic-book store to look at the superhero comic books. […] My seven-year-old really wanted to see that last Avengers movie […] that is, he wished it were a movie he could see, but he understood that it was, instead, a movie designed to scare and sadden him—a movie actively hostile to people like him.

They have a children’s section. Because comics are a medium suitable for stories for everybody, and they are sold in comic book shops, which have sections, like bookstores. You can use this organization to find books that you know in advance are suitable for children. What goes in that category is determined by industry professionals. This area will be bigger the bigger the shop is. These comics are not lower quality that titles from the main lines. They are actually slightly better-written on average.

Your local comic book shop has considerately wrapped Empowered in a plastic bag, so your child will not be drawn in by a colorful superhero and accidentally read a graphic scene. If you think your kid might find a memoir about internment camps upsetting, it is your job to notice them picking up They Called Us Enemy and read the blurb on the back before you let them have it. This comic adults are meant to read is in a comic book shop because that is where comics are sold. Not every public place is supposed to be Disneyland.

Movies have ratings systems. If you do not want your child to watch a PG-13 movie, you will find that most superhero cartoons are for children. They are about the same characters. Some are quite good! I really enjoyed Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Your child may like Avengers Assemble. At least I think that’s right. I’m always mixing those titles around.

This is a deeply weird bias for Scocca to casually demonstrate, because he identifies in the article that real childishness is striving for empty maturity.

He compares an old comic,

[…]a 1966 Spider-Man comic in which Spider-Man meets, fights, and defeats the Rhino; participates in a running argument between John Jameson and J. Jonah Jameson about his heroism; buys a motorcycle; breaks up with his first girlfriend, Betty Brant; flirts with Gwen Stacy; and reluctantly agrees to let Aunt May take him to meet her friend Mrs. Watson’s niece, Mary Jane.

and a new comic,

[…]a 21st century comic book in which Thor, brooding in a Katrina-destroyed New Orleans, beats up Iron Man. He also yells at Iron Man a lot about some incomprehensibly convoluted set of grievances, including involuntary cloning, that he believes Iron Man perpetrated against him while he was dead(?), and then summons some other Norse god from the beyond somehow for reasons having something to do with real estate. I think. Where the 1966 comic is zippy and fun and complete, the whole contemporary one is muddled and lugubrious and seems to constitute a tiny piece of a seemingly endless plot arc—simultaneously apocalyptic and inert.

and concludes that the edgier comic is actually less mature. This is true. (This is not news about mediocre comics.)

It also has nothing to do with either comic being child-friendly, the article’s nominal thesis, except in the sense that ASM #41 (yes, I eyeballed that from that summary, yes I am just showing off now) is better written, making it more everyone-friendly. It also has practically more space dedicated to word balloons than art and is about a college student juggling girl problems and a part-time job with a tyrannical boss. But the immature one, as Scocca points out, is dour.

These are both teenagery issues, separated only by quality. It’s true that lots of new comics published by the big 2 are bad in the specific way Scocca describes here, taking themselves too seriously and hauled down by associated stories instead of buoyed by them. Some are not! Some titles from these companies’ main continuities are zippy, contained, and child friendly. Give your child The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl! Or if you like vintage comics so much better, why don’t you…buy some?

The books on the kid’s rack are good and fun and totally suitable for parents to read with their children without wanting to scoop their eyeballs out. Scocca cites the Batman ‘66 comics as the brightly colored, tightly written all ages solution to his problem about sharing superhero stories with his son. My local comic shop stores this title in the kid’s section. I am glad that Scocca’s does not, as he seems to have a peculiar aversion to looking for comics to read with his son there.

Scocca cites Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as a superhero movie he could watch with his kids. (I was surprised when this line made it sound like he has several. I don’t want to assume the other one isn’t in this article because they’re a girl, but I very much am assuming that.) Great! Go to the kid’s section and look for Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man. It’s a fun, zippy title directly inspired by ITSV where Miles, Gwen, and Peter superhero together. It’s much more tightly written than most of the various Spider-Verse comics, which are ambitiously messy ubercrossovers. You may not want to give those to children because they include murder and so on, but also you just have the choice between the two as an adult reader deciding how much continuity you want to deal with. Adventures is one of the only titles I would buy on sight before corona. The kid comic rack is a reliable place to take a break from How Comics Get Sometimes regardless of how old you are.

This article makes me feel quarrelsome. Maybe it’s that it doesn’t seem like exploration of a single idea so much as a loosely grouped bundle of things to kvetch about. Maybe it’s that the experience of getting into superheroes that Scocca describes experiencing, projects his seven-year-old son will experience, and from which he extrapolates a metaphorical microcosm of the history of the genre is completely alien to me.

Comic books [and] comic-book movies—are […] trapped in their imagined audience’s own awful passage from childhood to adolescence. A seven-year-old has a clean […] appreciation of superheroes. They like hero comics because the comics have heroes: bold, strong, vividly colored good guys to fight off the bad guys and make the world safe.

But seven-year-olds stop being seven. […] They become 13-year-olds, defensively trying to learn how to develop tastes about tastes.

The 13-year-old wants many things from comics, but the overarching one is that they want to prove that they’re not some seven-year-old baby anymore. They want gloomy heroes, miserable heroes, heroes who would make a seven-year-old feel bad. (Also boobs. They want boobs.)

Not because of the boobs line, although that does illicit an eyeroll that this gloomy thinkpiece is fretting over preserving the superhero experience of little boys who resemble the little boy the writer was while casually dismissing everyone else. I was one of those unlikable little seven-year-olds with a college reading level and the impression that maintaining it was the crux of my worth. I only read Books - distinguished media you could club someone with. I have a formative memory of pausing, enraptured, in front of a poster for Spider-Man 3, preparing to say that it looked pretty cool, and being beaten to the punch by my mother making a disparaging comment about how the movie was trash. It wasn’t out yet, but it was a superhero movie. That meant it was for loud, brainless children.

That was the total of my childhood experience with superheroes, excluding being the unwilling audience to incessant renditions of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” that left me wondering why in god’s name Batman’s sidekick was named Robin. I certainly never visited a comic book shop. I got into TvTropes, which got me into webcomics, which got me following David Willis, who got me into Ask Chris at ComicsAlliance, which led to me rewarding myself for studying like a demon for the AP tests with three volumes of Waid’s Daredevil, pitched as a return to the character being colorful and swashbuckling. I was seven…teen.

This is of the same thread as Scocca’s point that immaturity is running from childish things. It leaves me baffled that he doesn’t follow that maturity is embracing them.

I will disclose here that while I think it was dumb I had to overcome my upbringing’s deeply embedded shame associated with enjoying arbitrarily defined lowbrow media and children being childish, I think it’s fine that I was allowed largely unchecked access to technically age-inappropriate content. In my limited experience, content small children are too young for is also content they’re too young to understand, so it kind of just bounces off of them, and what actually ends up terrorizing them is unpredictable collages of impressions that strike out at them from content deemed perfectly child-friendly. I would not forbid a seven-year-old I was in charge of from seeing an MCU movie unless I had a reason to believe that specific child would not take it well. These are emotionally low-stakes bubblegum films. It will probably be easier to socialize with other kids if they have seen them.

But then, when I picture being in charge of a hypothetical child, I usually imagine this being the case because they are related to me, and the pupal stage in my family strongly resembles Wednesday Addams. ALL children love death and violence, though, right?? This isn’t a joke point. I know it looks like a joke point.

The MCU thing seems especially weird in light of the article’s particular focus on Spider-Man, which is the kiddie line of the MCU, even if they refused to waver from their usual formula enough to get a lower rating. Though I am more inclined to describe it as “preying on the young” than “child-friendly”.

(MCU movies are increasingly dubious propaganda, but I would not judge them in front of a child who wanted to watch them for that reason, just in case this led to them partaking of them without me the second they were old enough to and then they grew up to run a blog about them while our relationship suffered because they didn’t feel like it was safe to talk to me about their interests…Mom.)

I tried to overcome the philosophy of letting anyone read anything while compiling this handful of mostly-newish superhero recs for the road that anyone can read. (Handily, I have been in spitting distance of being hired as a comic shop clerk enough to have thought about it before):

For actual children:

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man (the new one is reminiscent of ITSV, the old one is more like 616) any DC/Archie crossover, Archie’s Superteens The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (for bookish children who think they’re too good for comics and adults afraid of the kid’s section) Teen Titans Go (even if you hate the show) Superman Smashes the Klan

For teens:

Ms. Marvel Young Avengers (volume 2) Unbelievable Gwenpool Batman: Gotham Adventures Teen Titans Go (the tie-in comic based off the old show was also called this)

Here are a bunch of relevant C. S. Lewis quotes.

#me every time i read a comic book article by a rag not exclusively about comic books: i know more than you. #marvel #spidey #DCU #MCU critical #mirrorfalls #asks answered #submission #unearthed this and bashed it out in one sitting ... i have not been working on it since you sent it last year XD

[bteezxyewriter12]

Player/ 3

Pairing- San x Named Reader

Includes- N/A

Series Masterlist

J POV

As soon as the clock hits 3:45 pm, my class is over and I shove my books in my bag

I'm so ready to crash

Midterms just passed and I spent the last week studying like a madman

I cursed Mingi out after the party last week, telling him I am never going to anywhere where San will be

He apologized, I'm over it but he still keeps asking me to hang out with him and the guys

And each time I yell at him and get pissed off

What the fuck with him?

Didn't he listen to me when I cursed him out?

Leaving the classroom, I text Yunho, telling him that I'm gonna go home to crash but we can still hang out later

Exiting the building, I make a beeline for the student parking lot

My bed is calling me and I can already feel my soft pillow

"Joanne", I hear someone call

Oh what the fuck now?

I turn and my mouth drops when I find San standing behind me

Fucking San

What the fuck is he doing here?

"What do you want?", I snap, way too tired to deal with his bullshit right now

"I uh want to talk to you"

"Well I don't want to talk to you. So bye"

I start turning away from him when he asks, "Please. It won't take long"

Hearing the 'please' is what makes me stop

I've never heard him say please

Turning back to him, I snap, "What?"

"Uh I wanted to ask you if you'd want to go on a date"

I stand in disbelief, my brain not processing what I'm hearing

Did...did San just ask me out?

"What?"

He looks around nervously

He's nervous?

I've never seen him anything but confident and a total dick

"Would you uh wanna go out with me?"

Yup I heard right but still, brain's not working

"Like a date? With...you?"

His face turns red and I'm wondering what fucking planet I'm on if fucking Choi, San is blushing

Is this a dream?

Did I fall asleep in class and I'm still asleep

And what the fuck is wrong with my subconscious if I dreaming about San asking me out

I cross my arms, pinching myself

Ow

Oh god, that means I'm awake and this is really happening

"Yeah with me", he confirms

"Are you insane?", I blurt out

The shock on his face makes me think he really is insane

"There is no way on this fucking planet I would ever go out with you! Is this just some kind of ploy to get in my pants?"

He shakes his head, "No"

I don't believe him

I could never believe him

"No. Just no. How could you think it'd be anything but a no?"

"I just want a chance-"

"No!", I cut him off

There's no way

Not a chance in hell

He must be smoking something good if he thought this was a good idea

"Please"

"You're a fucking player! You fuck anything that walks! You have girl after girl and you expect me to say yes to you? I don't even know if you have anything!"

"I don't! I use condoms and I get tested regularly. I'm clean!", he argues

Like that fucking matters

I'd never let him get that close to me

I'd never fuck him with anything less than a fucking metal condom

I'd never fuck him period

"I like you ok? I know I was a jerk before and I know you think I'm a massive asshole. Yeah I can be but I'm not like that all the time"

I snort

The only way I've ever seen him was in his asshole form

And I don't trust him to see him not be an asshole

I don't trust people in general but him?

Never him

And not with my heart

Hell no

"I'd never trust you enough to date you. I could never give my heart to someone like you. You'd just hurt me and I'm not taking any chances"

He shakes his head

"I wouldn't. Not to you"

Right ok

What the fuck make me so special?

Because I'm the first girl to tell him to fuck off?

That doesn't make me special

It makes me smart

"Why? Why not me? Why not the girl you're going to fuck tomorrow or the next day? I'm not stupid enough to believe that movie shit where I'm the girl who turns the asshole player into a boyfriend. That shit isn't real"

He's got to be stupid if he thinks I believe that shit

It's for corny movies that teenage girls watch

It's a cute idea for a movie but not for real life

"It can be!", he exclaims

No it can't

You can't change people

They change if they want too

And most people don't

I'm not going to change him and I'm not taking the chance of getting hurt to see him change on his own

No thanks

"No. I don't want a player. I want a normal guy, someone who cares about more than sex"

"I won't be a player with you! And I do care about more than sex. Just give me chance and I'll prove it to you"

"Not a chance in hell", I snarl

"But-"

"No San. Hell no. Now kindly fuck off"

I turn from him and continue to my car

"I'm not giving up", he yells

Oh god is he going to be a massive pain in my ass?

I can't deal with that

Not everyday

I'll go insane

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

I hear his footsteps behind me

Now what?

I turn around to face him

"Look Joanne, I know what you think of me. I know what everyone thinks of me ok? And I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I really am. But please, just give me a shot. I like you so much. One date ok? If you're miserable then you'll never have to see me anymore. Just try, please"

Is he begging me?

I can't believe this shit

When I look at him, he's looking at me with hope in his eyes

And damnit I feel bad

I shouldn't, I should tell him to fuck off again

But I can't

God why?

Why does he have to look at me like that?

Fuck me

"I'm so gonna regret this", I murmur then look at him again

"Fine. One date"

"Yes?", he repeats, a small smile forming on his face

Oh god yeah I'm gonna regret this

"Yes", I answer through gritted teeth

"Ok great. Yeah."

"When?"

"I uh...on Saturday?", he says

I don't have to work on Saturday so it'll work

"Yeah fine"

"Great!", he says brightly

He is way too happy right now

"I'm not fucking you"

He shakes his head, "I don't want that. That's not why I'm asking you out"

"Whatever just know that we're not having sex"

He nods, "Can I have your number? I'll text you the time and you can give me your address so I can pick you up"

Oh Jesus, I didn't really think this through

I have to give him my number

"Fine but don't blow up my phone with stupid texts"

He smiles and goddamn why does it have to be stunning?

Those fucking dimples

God

"I won't"

We exchange numbers and I ask, "Can I go now?"

He nods, "Yeah. I'll see you on Saturday"

Yeah, great

"Yeah. Bye"

I turn away from him, walking to my car, yelling at myself for agreeing to this

I'm going to spend the next two days dreading Saturday, then most likely having a horrible time on the stupid date

God why me?

---------------------------------------------------

"You what?", Yunho yells

"I said yes to a date with San", I repeat

When I got home I called Mingi and told him

But he's San's friend and he was happy I'm giving him a chance

So I called Yunho when I was done and I knew he'd be on my side

So much for taking a nap

"Why would you do that? You hate him!"

"I know"

I don't actually hate San

I despise him but not hate

"Why?"

"Because he kept asking me to give him a chance. He kept looking at me hopefully and I felt bad."

"You felt bad?"

I know, it doesn't make sense

Not when it comes to San

"I don't know Yunnie. I told him off first, telling him hell no and I'd never trust him. Then I tried to leave but he followed me"

"Yeah because that's not creepy", Yunho snorts

"Right? But Yunnie, he begged me"

"He begged?", he gasps

"Yeah. And the first time he asked he was blushing and nervous"

"Are you sure we're talking about Choi, San?"

"Yeah. I was so fucking shocked. It felt like I was on another planet"

"Is he doing this to get in your pants?"

"That's the thing. I said that and he said no. I told him I wasn't fucking him and he said he didn't want that. He told me he likes me a lot"

"Holy shit! He likes you?", Yunho gasps

"Yeah"

"Jesus. Maybe he will give up being a player for you"

I snort, "Doubtful. And I don't want him. I'm doing this because it's one date and I'll tell him I was miserable and they're will never be another date"

"Jo, maybe...maybe you should really give him a chance."

I roll my eyes

First Mingi, now Yuhno

"You've got to be kidding me Yunnie"

"C'mon Jo. You already agreed to go on the date. Maybe not go into it expecting a horrible time. Maybe be open minded"

Why is everyone against me?

They all know how San is, what he did to me

They've seen him with girl after girl after girl

The man has a next to nothing attention span

And I refuse to believe I'm the one that changes a player

That's fairytale shit

"I'll think about it", I answer

"You never know Jo. San might be the love of your life"

I burst out laughing

He cannot be serious

That's the funniest shit I've heard in a long time

"Yeah ok Yunnie"

"I'm serious Jo"

I laugh harder

"Oh my god, thanks for making me laugh Yunnie. I needed that"

"Yeah I'm here to entertain"

"Well you did entertain me right now"

Love of my life, yeah right

I don't even know if a love of your life exists

I am a very skeptical and pessimistic person

"Well try to have a good time. Did he tell you where he's taking you"

"No. He just said see you Saturday"

I wonder what we're going to do

Is it going to be a cheesy date?

Crappy?

Is he going to try anything?

Of course he is, he's San

A fucking horndog fuck boy

"Oh a surprise. You love those", Yunho says sarcastically

"See, already I don't want to go"

"Oh god, I was kidding. Just be open minded ok?"

"Yunnie!", I whine

"Go take a nap Jo. You're cranky and I'm not dealing with it now"

"You're so mean!"

He snorts, "No I'm too nice. Take a nap and stop worrying about the date. It'll be fine. Call me when you wake up and I'll come over"

"Wah fine", I agree

We say good bye and hang up

I throw myself on my pillow, my eyes closing right away

God I'm already regretting saying yes to San

Maybe he'll forget

I snort

Not likely

Not with the way he was pursuing me

I sigh, forcing myself to forget about the date for now and try to fall asleep

@starry-jinnie @xduygu-arsx @derpjungkook

@tayyainthehood @alecanal93 @loveymochi

@aunt-mei @xciiiomwliah @chsani

@mingkisbitch @theaufanartist

#PlayerSan #san fanfiction #san fanfic #san fic #choi san fic #choi san fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez fic

[stevenbasic]

<buzz buzz buzz>

shhhh.

<buzz buzz buzz>

ugh.

<buzz buzz buzz>

That’s...that’s someone texting me.

I was woken by the sound of my phone, the first beams of sun sneaking in through the cheap plastic blinds of my apartment’s small, single window. I was disoriented - what time was it? How long had I been sleeping? I thought I was in my office, on that cot? Anyway, someone was texting me, and…

<buzz buzz buzz>

There it was again, a fourth alert, from a number I didn’t recognize. And it was morning, not quite quarter-to-seven. Swiping into my texts, I immediately saw the photo…

Two of my receptionists, Brittni and Bobbi, Young girls, friends, inseparable. They were here for, uh, jesus-

"were here to pick u up n get u to the hospitall for your rounds"

Oh shit. It's Thursday morning.

Was it Thursday already?!? I was due into the hospital in - oh christ - twenty minutes!

And my - ugh ugh ugh - my car was gone! The facts, the events of the past two days began to settle back into me. It had been taken away by Sheryl, my wife. My wife had taken away my car. In my distress I had torn through the office yesterday morning more or less naked, lap-swaddled by Melissa, lifted, carried and then holy shit basically hand-raped and boob-smothered by the new Eastern European APRN, Morgan. This was all on Wednesday morning. And it was somehow Thursday already?!? How had I slept so long?!? And - who moved me from the cot in my office to here???

Anyway - I didn’t have time to think. I sprang out of bed. I needed to get ready, fast! The ignominy of needing a ride to the hospital this early AM from two of my youngest employees - something arranged, no doubt, by Melissa - was a fact I was going to have to ignore. Shirt, pants - too big. Belt - yikes. Shoes - I’m swimming in them. Was I actually 5’3”?!? Like Morgan measured yesterday? How could this be happening??? No time to be anxious, I’ll figure this out later, I decided, slamming the door to my apartment behind m-

What the hell?

The hallway was sealed off, plywood blocking the way that would have led to the stairs down to the atrium. The construction! Yes! Melissa had said they were working to tear down most of the second floor and - jesus - there were the new, small stairs, spiral, that would lead me down…

In the near-dark of the early morning I made it down, through Melissa’s silent office, and - the front entrance, also sealed - out through a side door. I was confused, disoriented. Holy shit what was happening to this place?! My practice?!

Hurriedly making my way out, finally, to the front parking lot, I found the two girls in Brittni’s white minivan, pulled up to the curb.

“hiiiiiiii….!” they sang in unison, turned from their front seats to watch me enter as I slid open the passenger’s side back door and hopped in. Their smiles were huge, delighted, and it smelled nice in the car.

“Good morning,” I answered, struggling to slam shut the door behind me, “thanks for doing this…”

“Seat belt…?” Bobbi suggested, brows raised expectantly.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I agreed, clicking myself in, looking around the cabin a bit as we began to pull away  “Nice…van.”

“It’s my family’s?” Brittni answered, turning out of the lot onto the main drag. I felt a quick, small pang of nausea hit me, like car sickness.

I shook it off.

Excited, the girls talked non-stop as we drove, Brittni with her eyes on the road or watching me in the rearview, Bobbi turned in her seat the whole time to face me. Both girls were dressed in jeans and black tops, showing - yikes - more cleavage than I’d seen in either one of them before. I did my best not to look down at Bobbi’s inviting chest, or steal glances at Brittni’s curvy profile. They were young - what? Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one? - but double yikes. Had they always been built like this??

It was thankfully a short drive to the small community hospital where I saw my patients, maybe about ten minutes. But throughout the whole thing they were giddy, giggly, obviously tickled pink by their assignment of chauffeuring me to work and amused that it was just after sunrise and they were driving their boss around since his wife had taken away his car. Their eyes glittered merrily, their smiles wide and white.

For myself I did my best to sit straight, look confident, speak clearly. My rumpled, oversized clothes and messy hair might not have helped matters; I’d gotten myself dressed and ready in all of three minutes and it showed. But, I hoped I could keep up at least some airs of professionalism in this otherwise totally demeaning situation. I needed to remain an authority figure, as best I could, to my young employees. I’d thought I was doing okay, keeping up with the light conversation which was - at the very least - thankfully distracting me from thoughts of yesterday, or how I was going to return to work at the office without melting from the humiliation. Two of my new employees - Shanette and then Morgan - had had their ways with me in less than the span of twenty-four hours. And that was notwithstanding the fact that I’d spent time cradled in my office manager’s lap. Oh my god what was happening??

In a brief moment of quiet, as Bobbi and Brittni tittered between themselves over something, I took the chance to gaze out the window. I thought about the office, remembering the hallways, the breakroom, Melissa’s couch. Aside from the humiliation I was beginning, for some reason, to feel a little...homesick? Thinking I shouldn’t be leaving, driving further away. It made me feel funny, like I was doing something wrong. Another brief wave of nausea hit me; I took a deep breath and stopped looking out the window. Settle down, I told myself, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. A deep breath - smelling of the girls, that new perfume - helped.

Before I knew it, though, we were pulled up to the front entrance of the hospital and Bobbi and Brittni were waving me goodbye, each smiling out the passenger’s side window as I gathered myself and stepped onto the sidewalk.

“Byeeeeee…!” they both sang, giggling as I hurried away. Thankfully I’d remembered my briefcase. “We’ll pick you up here at eleven..!” I heard Bobbi call after me.

Inside the front entrance, I stopped. I heard the sliding doors close off behind me, and I took another deep breath. There was that nausea again. Get it together, J.

Rounds. My Thursday mornings had, for years, consisted of me visiting my patients in their rooms: the diabetics, the stroke victims, the heart failures. Those that had been brought in as emergencies or ones that I’d admitted myself over the past weeks. Part of me always enjoyed rounds, seeing my patients in a different environment than the office, helping coordinate their care. I also liked the staff at the hospital, and had grown friendly with many of the nurses, receptionists and other physicians.

But, right off the bat, my visit this week went weirdly. Aside from the now-frequent waves of nausea, I was acutely aware of the stares. If I’d had hopes that no one would notice that I looked small, pale and weak, that my clothes didn't fit, that I was basically a shrunken mess - well, I was sadly mistaken. Not that much was mentioned, at first, but I’m sure they all saw how I was making mistakes, unable to concentrate, dropping things and stumbling over my words. It took one of my patients, though, about halfway through the morning as I visited him in his hospital bed, to speak the unspoken; “Where’s my real doctor?!” the old man croaked out, “This guy’s just a kid!!”

The two nurses in the room - each taller than me but somehow holding their tongues - turned to me. I began to stammer something, began to try to explain, but was immediately clenched with another grip of nausea, the worst yet. “Excuse me…” I asked, and rushed from the room.

I made it as far as the floor’s breakroom before I had to vomit in a sink.

===========================

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#growing into the job

[wall-maria-fritz]

Calm the Fuck Down, Itadori

Yuuji Itadori x Jennifer Lawrence

Summary: Where Yuuji manages to drag Megumi and Nobara to a Tokyo Comic Con.

A/N: I took this way too seriously, jeezus.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori”

Megumi wanted to shoot himself in the foot.

He absolutely loathed conventions.

Especially when you got a bunch of idiots with a complete disregard for deodorant and personal space simping around in costumes as if they aren’t fully grown men.

Idiots like Itadori, who was currently wasting his life savings on X-Men stickers.

“Yeah,” Nobara piped in, already side-eyeing a man in a green cape with white and blue wings, and funny looking swords that look like box cutters—he was asking her if he could take a picture with her Petra Ral look.

Who the fuck is Petra Ral anyway? Nobara is SURE she looks way cuter though.

“How are you still so gaga over X-Men anyway?” she continues, with a flip of her ginger hair. “You’re literally a sorcerer, Yuuji. You fight curses in real life.”

Almost like whiplash, Yuuji turns on Nobara with an intensity she’s only seen in battle.

“Never. Disrespect X-Men.”

Yuuji was wide eyed; one hand pointing at Nobara, another clutching a handful of stickers and keychains (when did he buy those?) with a very blue woman on them.

Is she… naked? Nobara wonders, but is immediately interrupted by Yuuji’s incoming sermon.

“X-Men is a poignant commentary on society, Kugisaki. It is a masterpiece that only people with taste can appreciate, with characters so well written—“

But Yuuji’s fanboying gospel was cut short when a smattering of whoops and applause erupted from onstage, as a man dressed as… Thanos in a thong—Thongos, he called himself. Ok.—officially started the day’s most awaited event, and that was to meet X-Men’s Hollywood actors, in the flesh!

It was then that Megumi verbalized what everyone was thinking at this point.

“I didn’t know Itadori knew what ‘poignant’ meant”

Yuuji Itadori raced towards the front of the crowd like it was an orgasm out of reach, tightly clutching onto the barricade (also like he was clutching his [redacted]).

He didn’t know when and how his friends managed to catch up to him, but when X-Men’s glittering line up of beautiful people came out on stage, both Nobara and Megumi looked to each other in complete understanding beside him-- of course Itadori was here to simp for Jennifer Lawrence.

And of course he’d spend every yen to his name just to catch a glimpse of this woman in nothing but a skin-tight blue spandex that left no curve nor valley to the imagination.

“I LOVE YOU JENNIFER LAWRENCE”

Yuuji proceeded to fucking shriek in broken English.

“I EAT AMERICAN FOOD FOR YOU”

Megumi and Nobara both took a step from Yuuji.

‘Nope! The weird guy? They don’t know him.’

To their horror, they watch a grinning mouth appear at Yuuji’s cheek, already salivating.

“Gotta give it to ya, punk. That IS one fine ass,”

Sukuna’s mouth let its long tongue lick around his lips.

“I hope you got us some backstage passes, kid”

Megumi and Nobara shivered.

But clearly, Itadori and Sukuna weren’t the only ones going absolutely bananas for the X-Men, it might have very well been the entire building cheering for the cast.

It was until a bald guy in a wheelchair signaled for the audience to quiet down, did the sea of sweaty geeks calm down.

After a few introductions, and further hyping, the mic was finally passed to Jennifer Lawrence, whose character was apparently named Mystique.

Like a child showing off to his parents, Yuuji looks at Megumi and Nobara, pointing at Jennifer Lawrence as if saying, “Look! It’s her! That’s her! It’s actually her!”

Yuuji then proceeds to kiss three fingers raised up like he was doing a Boy Scout’s pledge, and raised those three fingers in there air, whistling three drawn out notes.

The idiot was giving her the Hunger Games salute, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Ehehe. Yeah, show her which fingers you’re gonna fuck her with,” Sukuna chuckles.

Which Yuuji responds to by forcibly jockeying Sukuna’s mouth off his cheek, shutting the curse up;

Yuuji Itadori drinks enough Respect Women Juice to give the Sahara a year of rain, alright.

Soon, everyone was giving Jennifer the salute.

Jennifer waves away the salutes, and stage-whispers into the mic with that raspy and sexy, according to Yuuji, voice of hers, and says, “Psst! Wrong fandom guys!”

The crowd laughs, as Jennifer awkwardly prattles about how she’s contract-bound to only talk about X-Men today, and that she really needs her job, ok?

And to be honest? Megumi and Nobara are starting to like her! I mean, who wouldn’t? Jennifer’s such a sweet, and down-to-earth girl. They’re glad that if there was anyone Yuuji was going to simp for, it’s Jennifer Lawrence.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Tokyo!” Jennifer greets charmingly. “I was so excited to meet you guys, I didn’t even need to take a shot before I got here!” Jennifer shrugs with an exaggerated look on her face.

The crowd ate it all up.

“In fact, I was SO excited that I pumped myself up with enough anime references to say,” and in that magical moment, Jennifer Lawrence send finger guns down Yuuji’s way and winks--

“That’s one HECK of a JJK cosplay, man!”

And oh my Lord, it was like Yuuji died and went to heaven.

Even Sukuna was speechless.

But if Yuuji had to guess, Sukuna might have even been proud of him if only wasn’t you know, a jackass.

Megumi and Nobara couldn’t really remember what happened for the rest of the segment, because they might as well have leashed Yuuji with the way he was going crazy for Jennifer, hollering to her that he got her lasagna and Cheetos in his backpack in more broken English.

In the end, the two are left to rein Yuuji in as he eagerly waits for Jennifer out the backstage entrance, fully armed with an X-Men comic book and that lasagna he promised.

Yuuji was practically vibrating in excitement.

“Yuuji, it’s been two hours. Let’s go back to campus,” Nobara groaned, moaning to Megumi how Gojo better pay for their babysitting hours.

“She's almost out, you guys--!” Yuuji cries back, as the stage doors finally open to reveal Jennifer Lawrence in a much more sensible outfit of dress pants and a smart, low-neckline blouse.

“Eyes up, Itadori,” Megumi mumbles at Yuuji, who was already getting slack jawed at the sight of Jennifer’s cleavage.

Yuuji swallows the massive lump in his throat, and snaps his eyes back up to Jennifer’s hooded ones.

“Oh hey! You’re that JJK guy!” Jennifer greets good-naturedly. She was smiling radiantly at Yuuji and his friends, first shaking Nobara and Megumi’s hands as she laughed, “Damn, you even dressed up as the main character’s friends! You’re all like Hermione, Ron, and Harry Potter except… well, your characters won’t actually die, eep”

“Do we tell her?” Nobara nudges Megumi.

“Don’t you dare.” Megumi hisses back.

The dark-haired sorcerer then turns to Jennifer with a polite smile, and says in perfect English,

“Ooh, we’ll try not to spoil it for you, Jennifer.”

Nobara snaps her head to Megumi.

“Since when did you speak White???”

“Shut the fuck up, Nobara,” Megumi grits out.

Jennifer winked at Megumi, giving him an ‘I-get-you’ look and finally turned to sign Yuuji's comic book, only for him to freeze.

They both blinked at each other for a moment. One almost as awkward as the other.

Jennifer Lawrence though, god bless her, took this all in stride.

“No worries, dude, I freeze up, too,” she says while pretending to freeze up in jest. “Do you want me to sign your comic book?”

And if Yuuji wasn’t absolutely head over heels in love with Jennifer before, he certainly was now.

“I-- I…” Yuuji stammered.

Megumi and Nobara looked worriedly to their friend, there was no way in hell they were gonna let Yuuji fuck up now. Not after a whole afternoon of body odor and overpriced tentacle art, no way.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori and give her the comic,” Megumi whispers to Yuuji.

And in a snap, Yuuji Itadori was bowing as low as possible, arms out with his offerings, exclaiming to the highest simping power-- “I BROUGHT YOU YOUR FAVORITE JENNIFER!”

Jennifer’s face lit up at the sight of the lasagna, “Oh wow! You got me food! Thanks for remembering!”

She takes the lasagna gratefully, and quickly signs the comic, “What’s your name?”

“Errr… Y-Yuuji.”

Jennifer returns the comic book to Yuuji, now signed--

‘Thank You for the Lasagna, Yuuji! You know me soooo well!

Stay Sweet <3

-J Law.’

And as if each and every one of Yuuji’s dreams came true, Jennifer leaned forward and gave Yuuji a quick peck on the cheek.

Yuuji couldn’t even react, because in a whirlwind, Nobara was taking a picture of Yuuji and Jennifer, a coral kiss mark on Yuuji’s wide-eyed face.

~

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori,” Megumi groaned for probably the hundredth time now.

But Yuuji didn’t care.

Jennifer Lawrence just kissed him.

He’s pretty sure he can be a little manic with disbelief.

“Yuuji, I swear to god, if you don’t stop, I’m deleting the photo from my phone.”

Nobara was done.

“NO--”

~

In the end, Yuuji may not have anything to eat for the next two weeks, but it was totally worth it.

He managed to convince Megumi to lend him some money.

#jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuuji #yuuji itadori x reader #yuuji itadori x jennifer lawrence #yuuji itadori x y/n #yuuji itadori x you #jjk yuuji itadori #yuuji itadori jjk #yuji itadori x reader #yuji itadori #yuji itadori x you #yuji itadori x y/n #yuuji itadori x oc #yuji itadori x oc #yuji itadori x jennifer lawrence #jennifer lawrence #x-men #petra ral is nobaara #nobara kugisaki #megumi jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen yuuji #yuuji jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen yuuji itadori #yuuji itadori jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu sorcerer #comicon #hunger games

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts spoilers #seblos #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #lily hsmtmts #ms jenn #mr mazzara #natalie bagley #guac's episode text blocks :)