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therhythmafterthesummer · 1 year

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Herbie (M) ~Bang Chan

Pairing: Mechanic!Chan x F.Reader Themes: Smut | Some Fluff | Strangers to Friends to Lovers Word Count: ~10k | AO3 Synopsis: Chris was the best mechanic you’d ever met. He was good at his craft, capable of bringing your dingy car back to life time and time again. He was, also, excellent at riling you up just by existing, which wasn’t the best when you were absolutely convinced he just wanted to be friends with you. But maybe, just maybe, he’d prove you wrong. [You can find part two here]. Warnings: curvy/chubby reader · reader is clueless · personification of an inanimate object (the car is referred to by name and male pronouns sometimes) · improper use of car related vocabulary probably (author is clueless on the topic, they don’t even know how to drive) · discussions of weight and usage of the word fat (in a very neutral manner) · Christopher is Stronk · special guest appearance: Jisung.

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Author’s Note: mechanic!chan was suggested by an “anon” (👀), after they watched this performance, and i felt inspired by the suggestion, so i decided to write a little something for it. a little something that somehow managed to gather more words than i ever expected, as usual. anyway, hope it doesn’t disappoint :^)

fun fact: i dreamt once that i wrote a fic called herbie, so i guess the prophecy has been fulfilled now.

Smut Warnings: the reader has an oral fixation · the reader has sexually charged thoughts (i can’t blame her) · pet names (baby, babe, gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, etc) · lots of praising (it’s a staple in my chan fics at this point, oops) · praise kink · strength kink if you squint? · oral [M&F.Rec] · deepthroating/mouth fucking · protected penetration [piv].

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Christopher Bang.

The man who’d saved your ass countless times in the past handful of months. The man who’d been plaguing your thoughts since the very first moment you entered his repair shop.

And to think it was your older brother’s fault. ‘Get a second-hand car’, he said. ‘It’s cheap and super reliable’, he said. ‘Yes, of course it’ll be fine’, he said. Your brother was, ultimately, full of bullshit. You’d never trust his opinion ever again.

Getting a second-hand car was quite possibly the worst financial decision you’d ever taken.

At first you’d been incredibly excited. You even named it Herbie, after the famous car that was… Well, called Herbie.

With Herbie, you’d be able to get to work faster, you’d no longer have to stay in uncomfortable social situations just because you were waiting for your ride for the night to take you home, you’d no longer have to balance grocery bags on your tiny bicycle, you’d be independent.

For two months, you were living your best life with Herbie. But then he started showing The Signs.

It started with the AC not turning on, then, the wipers wouldn’t wipe, until eventually, he shut down completely. Which wouldn’t have been so bad, had it not happened while you were driving on the fucking highway. To say you were pissed was an understatement. That day, when that happened, you were fortunate enough to be with your friend, Jisung.

Not only did Jisung calm your fit of rage, but he also told you he had a friend who fixed cars for a living. ‘He’s very reliable. He won’t overcharge you, really. I vouch for him, trust him with my life at this point’, which, honestly, finding a mechanic these days that wasn’t trying to find problems that weren’t there to overcharge you was hard, so you took Jisung’s advice and took Herbie to Wolfgang: Repair Shop.

That was where you saw Chris the first time.

You could still remember the exact moment your eyes landed on him. Although, to be fair, the first thing you saw were his boots peeking out from below a car.

“Hello?” You heard a thud after you greeted the pair of legs, followed by a very graceful ‘Fuck!’.

“Just one second!” He slid from under the car, and when he stood from the creeper, you honestly weren’t prepared.

Broad shoulders, strong, defined arms, a mess of curls on his head, plush, pink lips, and that nose. Jisung had forgotten to give you the most important detail about his friend, the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous. Even with the oil coating his exposed arms, hands, and the smudge on his cheek, he was probably one of the finest specimens you’d ever seen.

“Can I help you?” He smiled, and God, he had dimples, too. Of fucking course he had to have dimples…

“I’m–I–” You were embarrassing yourself, barely even capable of forming a coherent sentence, all as he looked at you with a glint of amusement in his eyes. So you got your bearings, taking a deep breath. “My car keeps dying on me. I’m a friend of Jisung’s, he told me to come to you”.

“Oh!” His eyes widened and he honestly looked beyond surprised. “You are Jisung’s friend?” There was a slight tone of disbelief in his voice, and the way he looked you up and down honestly confused you a bit. Was there a problem with your outfit? It was a bit warm out and this was a nice, comfortable dress… Maybe you were supposed to wear something different to a car repair shop? Maybe it was one of those social rules no one talked about but you were supposed to just know they existed.

Regardless, you decided to ignore the thought altogether, because he started talking again. “I’m Chris. I’d offer my hand, but I don’t think you’d like to get yours covered in motor oil”, he chuckled, wiping his hands on a rag that hung from his belt, and it genuinely made you smile. “C’mon, let’s take a look at your car and see what we can do. Hm?”

That was how it all started. Chris was polite, he certainly knew his way around these things, and every time you had a problem with Herbie you went to his shop. At some point, you became well acquainted with him, it was impossible not to when Herbie kept dying practically every other week, and when Chris was just so friendly.

You enjoyed spending time at the shop with him, and sometimes you wondered if you were being weird or annoying by staying a bit longer than any customer probably would, but Chris seemed to be just as engaged in the conversation as you were every time, so that spark of doubt in you always died very quickly.

After a couple of months, Chris simply handed you a piece of paper. ‘Here’s my number. Text me whenever you need’.

And you did. Although, you took a while to text him. You finally did it only because Herbie had started to leak water; after all, that was what he had given you his number for. But it seemed like after that Chris and you just… started to talk about other things, completely unrelated to Herbie.

“You slut, who you texting with that smile on your face? Did you finally get yourself a man?” Jisung teased you one day when you were hanging out with him, supposedly watching movies.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “As if. You know the only thing I attract are mosquitoes, and it’s only because they want to suck my blood. It’s just Chris. He sent me this funny video of Wolfgang, wanna see?”

Wolfgang was Chris’ dog, an overly excited husky that seemed to be a walking disaster. You told Chris once in passing that you liked dogs, that it cheered you up whenever you saw them do their Dog Things, and since then he started to send you pictures or videos of his dog regularly, which you highly appreciated, they did bring up your mood every time.

Jisung blinked at you. “Christopher Bang? My friend Chris?”

“Yeah? Which other Chris do we both know?” You returned your eyes to your phone, chuckling at a meme Chris had just sent you.

“What’s he sending you? Lemme see”, Jisung grabbed your phone out of your hands, ignoring your protests altogether. “Huh… Would you look at that…”

“Why are you scrolling? Stop that, it’s a private conversation”, you lunged at your friend, trying to get the phone out of his hands. After a bit of jostling he finally relented, and you huffed as you diverted your attention back to the chat with Chris.

Jisung called your name, and you looked up from your phone to your friend, seeing his confused face. “You… You do know he’s flirting with you, right?”

“What?” You laughed at that. “Don’t be ridiculous”.

“I’m being serious”, Jisung turned to face you fully on the sofa, looking at your face very intently. He was quiet for a moment, but then he was gasping–rather dramatically, if you might add. “Oh my God! You haven’t noticed!”

“There’s nothing to notice, Jisung. Chris isn’t flirting with me, don’t be silly”, you chuckled just at the thought. As if the Christopher Bang would be flirting with you.

“You seriously can’t be this dense”, Jisung scoffed, turning back to the movie. “You do you, then. I’m telling you, though. He’s one hundred percent flirting with you”.

How ludicrous. Chris had shown zero interest in you for as long as you’d known him. You were sure he only saw you as a friend at best, and that was only because you were on ‘sending memes’ basis now, before you were just his customer with the dingy car that kept needing repairs.

You’d admit, though, that after a handful of months, Chris had become a really close friend. He’d text you every morning without fail. Most of the time, he’d send you a picture while he was walking his dog. It could be a picture of Wolfgang, or a picture of the sunrise, or a selfie–those were the hardest ones to look at, to be honest.

At some point, you realised you had developed a crush on him, and looking at his face in those selfies, still a bit swollen with sleep, with his hair a bit tousled, or with a beanie over his head covering his eyebrows, looking incredibly cuddly, wasn’t helping you cope much.

Sometimes he’d text you while he was in the gym, too. Which would’ve been fine, had he not also started to send you selfies when he was there. They were never anything too revealing, he’d always be fully clothed, but the sight of his reddened hands, his bulging veins after lifting, his flushed face, and just overall sweaty form was just something you didn’t need. It always heated you up, made you suddenly feel like your mouth was just too empty, it’d made your mind wander into very dangerous, and very horny territory.

It was already hard enough to watch Chris work on Herbie. Whenever he did and you were at the shop, you’d start to fixate on the way the muscles of his exposed arms moved, or how his ass looked when he was bending over the motor to do whichever magic he needed to do, it always made you wonder if he’d be able to perform that magic on you, if his hands would touch you as delicately but as precisely as they did with Herbie’s components, or how it’d be like if you were the one bending over the bonnet, preferably with him just right behind you… Regardless, seeing him also at the gym through his pictures was just too much. He’d sometimes ask you weird questions while he was there, too, which always left you a bit confused.

‘mind if i ask what’s your weight? you dont have to tell me if you dont want to, i’m just curious. i’m trying to bulk up, you see. mine’s…’ You didn’t particularly have a problem with the question itself, you just found it odd that he asked you that out of the blue, and for a brief moment you wondered if he’d been trying to say you were fat–which wouldn’t have been the first time that happened to you, having lived most of your life as person with extra fat on their body for what was considered ideal in this society’s standards had already numbed you to questions like these.

You hadn’t told him right away, you simply sent him a ‘why? are you gonna tell me to lose weight? lol’ to which he replied a string of messages in quick succession ‘oh god no. far from that, you’re perfect just as you are honestly. i’m just curious cuz i want to get to…’ He’d go on about his goals and what-not, and you decided to humour him, since it genuinely didn’t seem like he was trying to make fun of you, he actually never brought up the topic again after that.

Chris wasn’t just handsome, he was also cute, and a bit of a dork. A dork with extensive knowledge in cars and each of their components, but with even more extensive knowledge in pokemon and each and every single type.

‘Ice is strong against dragon and ground, you see? So I have to fight this Garchomp with a pokemon that can do ice attacks, but that can also withstand his attacks, like Gyarados, you know?’ The first time Chris pulled an explanation like that, while he was still covered in Herbie’s oil, you understood why he was friends with Jisung. They were both just dorks. Gym rats and dorks. The oddest combination you could possibly think of, but somehow it just added to their charm. To Chris’ charm specifically.

That balance of his technical knowledge, his hotness, and his dorkness, coupled with just how good of a person he genuinely was–always willing to help, always ready to stand his ground for things he believed in–only made you fall stupidly deeper for him. But you decided to keep these feelings to yourself, you liked having Chris by your side, not only because he was the only one who seemed to be able to bring Herbie back to life, but also because he was just a good friend, and you were sure that if you confessed your feelings things just wouldn’t be the same.

Taking Herbie out these days was always a gamble. You never knew when he was going to break down, but sometimes you really had to take a leap of faith. Most of the time it all went fine, but today, it seemed like he wasn’t in a mood to cooperate. Herbie had decided that breaking down in the middle of nowhere at twenty hours on a Friday was the best idea, which left you on the brink of frustrated, angry tears.

So, obviously, you called the only person you knew could help you in this situation.

“You alright?” Chris asked as soon as he arrived and stood in front of where you were leaning on your car. “Oh, God. Are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“I’m just so fucking done with this car”, you brought your hands to your face, sobbing once the frustration that had built inside of you couldn’t be contained anymore.

“Hey…” You felt Chris’ body heat practically envelop you when he moved into your space, and, had you not been crying like a baby, you’d probably feel a bit flustered about it. “Are you– Can I– Do you want a hug?”

You just nodded–still covering your face with your hands–because of course you wanted a hug. You were trembling with your quiet sobs, so a hug sounded like absolute heaven at this moment, and when Chris finally leaned in closer, wrapping his arms around your shoulders to pull you to him, the fact that Herbie had left you stranded in the middle of nowhere seemed so insignificant now.

Chris was so incredibly warm. The way he softly caressed your back helped ease your trembles, and, eventually, the tears stopped, too. So you finally moved your hands away from your face, bringing your arms around his waist to hug him as well, just as you buried your face on his shoulder–probably leaving small puddles of tears on the fabric of his boilersuit.

That was when you noticed his attire. Similar to how he dressed when he was at the shop, but clearly completely clean. His boilersuit even smelt like his fabric softener still, and… was he wearing perfume?

You pulled yourself a bit from him, and his calloused hands cradled your face immediately to wipe your tears with his thumbs. You could feel heat spread on your cheeks as he did.

Chris was so close to you still, the heat of his palm on your cheeks seeped into you, shooting straight to your fluttering heart. He truly was incredibly handsome, and as you looked him in the eyes the words left your mouth before you could even think twice about them.

“Wow. Your eyelashes are so pretty”.

A look of surprise crossed Chris’ features, and you saw his Adam’s apple bob, right before he pulled his hands away from your face and opened the driver’s door of your car, giggling. Giggling in that utterly Christopher way he always did.

“Well, yours are, too”, he said while he pulled the lever near the wheel to release the safety latch so he could open the bonnet of your car.

For a moment, you could’ve sworn his ears were red, and you wondered briefly if he might’ve been feeling warm with his boilersuit on, since it was warm tonight, which was why you had decided to wear a dress in the first place. “Were you at the shop when I called?”

“Was on my way”, Chris rounded your car, finally standing in front of it and opening the bonnet. “Ahh, Herbie. You’d certainly seen better days, haven’t you, buddy?” He took his phone from his pocket, switched on the torch, and handed it to you. “Could you hold this for me? Please?”

“Why were you going to the shop this late?” You asked as you pointed the light towards Herbie’s insides.

“Was gonna work on the bike. Angle this a bit, please”, Chris took your hand, angling it however he needed it so he could see whatever it was he needed to see–for you he might as well had been doing dark magic on your car. You saw him push cables around like he knew what each of them was for, which he surely did, this was his livelihood, after all, but it all just looked the same to you, so you were immensely relieved that he was able to help you out tonight.

“You fix cars all day and still have the drive to work on your bike in the evening?” You chuckled, just as Chris moved your hand to point the light somewhere else.

“You’d be surprised how much drive I can have when I’m doing something I like”, there was a smile on his face as he said it, and honestly you couldn’t help but believe him. Just like you couldn’t help but wonder what else he could like that’d fuel that drive of his… “Alright, we’re gonna have to jumpstart it. Gimme a sec”.

Chris left your side for a moment, and he returned almost immediately after with a jumper cable in his hands. Once he had attached it to his 4X4’s and Herbie’s battery, he instructed you to go back to the driver’s seat and to turn the ignition at his signal.

You did as asked, and as soon as you did Herbie came back to life, making you heave a sigh of relief. Chris appeared by your door a few seconds after. “Let’s go to the shop, yeah? I don’t think he’ll make it much further, to be honest”.

And honestly, you didn’t think your car would make it far, either. So you followed Chris’ 4X4 out of the area and through the familiar roads to his repair shop. You couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful, not only because he was helping you now, but because he always did it. Whenever you’d needed him, he’d always been there, which did nothing to appease the ever growing feelings you had for him.

When you made it to Chris’ shop, he simply opened the gate to the garage and signalled you to come in. You got off your car as soon as it was parked, just as Chris was unzipping his boilersuit, revealing his black vest top underneath and his admittedly mouthwatering arms as he tied the top part of the garment around his waist.

“Thank you, Chris. Really”, you told him as soon as he stood in front of you, handing him Herbie’s keys when he opened his palm.

“Oh, please”, he waved his hand as if to dismiss the thought, as if what he did was something not even worth thanking him for. “I’m glad you called, I would’ve felt really bad if I couldn’t have helped you with this”, he gave you a smile, one of his blinding smiles that made his dimples appear on his cheeks and his eyes disappear, and you suddenly felt your cheeks warm up and like your heart was going to burst out of your chest.

Chris made sure to place a wedge behind each of Herbie’s wheels just so the car was secure in place, and then turned to you. “Come with me”.

He guided you to the sink by the corner of the shop. Pumping some soap into his hands and opening the tap, he started to generously lather the suds all over his hands.

“Come here, you need to wash your hands, too”, Chris took your hands in his, getting them all soapy, making sure to spread the soap between each of your fingers, going as far as to rub your hands between his, or lace his fingers with yours to fulfil the task.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Chris, I didn’t touch anything”.

“You sure?” He chuckled, but his motions didn’t stop. “It’s better to be safe than sorry, no?”

“I guess”, you didn’t think your cheeks could’ve felt any hotter. You seriously hoped it wasn’t that noticeable.

After thoroughly rinsing your hands under the tap, he gave you a clean rag to dry them on just as he motioned for you to follow him again. So you did, walking past his half restored bike and into his office.

Chris placed Herbie’s keys on the designated case that corresponded to the number in which you had parked your car, and then turned to the minifridge. “You want a soda?”

“Sure”, you took the glass bottle from him as soon as he opened it and handed it to you. You always found it odd that he had glass bottles and not cans, considering how little space he had in that fridge. When you asked him about it once Chris simply went on about how ‘Cans just don’t taste the same! The soda tastes so much better when it’s drunk from a bottle’, and as soon as he said that you just couldn’t untaste it anymore. Glass bottles were, ultimately, superior.

“‘Suppose I’ll get an uber”, you sighed after you took a sip of your drink, walking a bit so you could lean against the wall.

“An uber? Nonsense, I’ll drive you home, don’t worry”, Chris took a sip of his drink, just as he leaned on his desk.

“Aw, c’mon. You already went out of your way to rescue me. I don’t wanna take more of your time”.

Chris scoffed. “Don’t make me beg”.

“I wouldn’t dare”, you chuckled, although you were suddenly curious of what would happen if you did make him beg… “But what about your bike?”

“The bike won’t be ready anytime soon. The only reason I was coming here was because I was restless at home. Now I’d much rather spend some time with you, to be honest”, Chris took a sip of his drink again, and suddenly holding his gaze felt like too much, but the way your eyes decided to focus on his Adam’s apple moving with every sip he took wasn’t that much easier.

“You know…” Chris said after a few moments of silence, pulling your eyes back up from where they had been glued to his neck. “I think it might be time for you to consider letting Herbie go. It’s been months, and I honestly don’t think I can save him”.

You sighed. “I know… But I fear I’ve grown attached to the damned thing. Besides, wouldn’t you lose your most regular customer?” You added the last part with a chuckle, taking a sip of your drink right after.

Chris chuckled. “So you’re saying you only talk to me ‘cause of Herbie?”

You almost choked on your drink. “N–no. Of course not. You’re a good friend, Chris. Truly”.

He placed his drink on the desk, and a smirk made its way onto his face. “Just a good friend?”

“Uhh… A great friend?” You laughed softly, drinking some more of your soda.

Chris went silent for a moment. As you saw him worry at his bottom lip and looking anywhere but where you were standing, you wondered if you had said something wrong. That was, until he chuckled.

“I don’t think I’m a good friend, to be honest”, he crossed his arms over his chest, bouncing his leg a bit. “Good friends don’t secretly hope for their friend’s car to break down so they’d call them for help”.

You were just bringing your bottle to your lips, but his words made you stop in your tracks. “What?”

Chris looked at you for a moment. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but then he was tipping his head to the side and laughing. “God, I seriously didn’t believe Jisung at first, but you really are dense for some things, aren’t you?”

“I am… so confused right now”.

Chris shook his head a bit, and he walked closer to you. “Let me tell you a secret…” He got into your space, close enough that you could smell his perfume, and the proximity made you swallow the saliva that seemed to have suddenly pooled in your mouth. Leaning into you, he brought his mouth to your ear, whispering. “I really, really like you”.

You blinked, and you honestly felt like your brain had short-circuited. “You… What?”

No way was Christopher Bang telling you he liked you. There was just no way. You would’ve noticed… You would’ve, right? You definitely would’ve… Wouldn’t have you noticed?

Suddenly you remembered Jisung. How he’d tried to tell you multiple times throughout the past few months that Chris was flirting with you, that you should shoot your shot, but you honestly had never believed him, because it seemed just so ridiculous to you that Chris could even look at you in that light.

“I’ve, uh… liked you for a while. A long, long while”, Chris pulled himself away from your space completely, and he looked at your face for a moment. A moment that you stayed completely silent, still trying to process the fact that Chris liked you… And for a while now.

You saw his brows furrow as he chewed on his bottom lip. Then he was speaking again. “I just… couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore. When we hugged earlier I realised I wanted to do that more, and that I should probably grow a pair and tell you already. I’d like to take you on a date, if you want, but I can understand if you don’t want to…”

He was rambling. A lot. Saying a lot of things. This was the Nervous Chris you’d only seen a couple of times, the Nervous Chris whose coping mechanism was just to jump to conclusions and talk in a single breath. Suddenly, it all seemed to click into place. The good morning texts, the selfies, the late night talks at the shop after Herbie had died on you time and time again, it was so clear to you now.

“If you don’t like me back that’s fine, you can just say so, I won’t take it to hear–”

You kissed him.

It was barely anything. Just a peck on the lips, but it was enough to shut him up, enough to make his eyes go wide in surprise, and, to your own selfish delight, enough to bring a delicate blush to his cheeks.

“I like you, too”, you said simply, still a bit shocked by his confession, a bit shocked by your confession coming out of your own mouth. You honestly never thought you’d be able to say that to him out loud, but you did. Just like he had.

Chris looked stunned for a bit. But that stunned look didn’t last long, it quickly turned to something else, something raw and incredibly alluring. Stepping into your space again, he brought a hand to the back of your head, holding you in place just as his other hand took the bottle from your hands to place it on the tool cart next to you, right as his lips found yours.

This kiss was nothing like the peck you’d given him. It was loaded with need and want and lust. So much of all of it you couldn’t even believe how blind you’d been. Every press of his lips against yours kindled the fire that started to burn in the pit of your stomach. When his hand joined the other cradling your head, you just couldn’t help the small whimper that came out of your mouth, and that tiny noise seemed to have spurred Chris on, enough to press you flush against the wall as his tongue made its way inside your mouth, as your arms wrapped around his waist.

Heat was spreading quickly inside of you, and you were starting to feel lightheaded–whether it was due to the shock, or due to how Chris was pressing you against the wall, or due to the motions of his kiss and the lack of oxygen, you weren’t too sure. One of your hands laid palm flat on the small of his back, while the other pressed between his shoulder blades, and the hum that came out of his mouth seemed to have travelled all the way to your heart, making it beat even faster in your chest.

Chris detached his mouth from yours, only for a moment, enough to talk. “Does this mean…” He pressed another kiss on your lips. “That you’d like…” And another. “To go on a date?” This kiss lasted a bit longer than the others, it lasted until you nodded your head.

“Yes”, you pressed a kiss on his lips, just as your arms moved to loop around his neck and his wrapped around your waist, keeping you impossibly closer to him. “Would love to”.

He hummed again, and he immediately resumed the soft movement of his lips on yours. Keeping you tight against him for a while. Until it seemed like his brain had caught up with him.

“We should probably stop”, but he didn’t stop kissing you, just like you didn’t, either. You just couldn’t get enough of his full lips on yours, of his tongue pushing against yours.

“Do you want to?” Your fingers made their way through the curls at the back of his head, holding the strands between them just how you’d dreamt to do so many times throughout the past handful of months.

“God, no”, and you believed him, not only because of how desperate he sounded when he said it, but also because he just kept kissing you, talking in between quick pecks of his lips. “But I don’t want… to make it seem… like this is all I want… You know?”

You knew. You knew because you were thinking exactly the same thing. You could feel him against your pubic bone, hard, warm, and it all made you incredibly wet, maybe embarrassingly so. But this was Chris, it was hard to feel embarrassed with him, which was part of the reason why you had developed feelings for him in the first place.

You hummed, just to let him know that you understood what he was trying to say without removing your lips from his. As you kissed him, as you felt him and his warmth, your mind started to cloud a bit. The mix of his motions, of the months and months of pining for him, and the even more months of self-inflicted celibacy clearly made it so logical thinking wasn’t your strongest attribute at this time.

“Would you still… take me on a date… if I sucked you off right now?” The words flew past your mouth between kisses, too fast for you to even think twice and stop them.

“Shit…” Chris pulled himself away from your lips completely, looking you in the eyes. As you took in the flush on his face, his plush, kiss-bitten lips, and his blown pupils, you couldn’t help but think just how incredibly beautiful he looked like this. “Are you being serious?”

“Dead serious”, your chest was heaving, and your fingers carded through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp with your nails, making Chris bite his lip and take a deep breath.

“Of course I would. I’d take you to the fucking moon even if I got it wet right now”.

You chuckled at that, and pressed a brief kiss on his lips. “A date is enough, babe”.

“Babe, huh?” Chris took a deep breath, just as you pushed him away from you a bit, enough to have space so you could drop to your knees, uncaring of your bare skin touching the floor. All you could care about was the outline of his length against his clothes when you pressed your hand on it.

“Sorry, you don’t like ‘babe’?” You looked up at him, right in the eyes, just as you untied the sleeves of his boilersuit from around his waist.

“I like it a lot, actually”, there was a bit of a smug smirk on his face, and it had you licking your lips.

Just as you were about to pull the bottom of his suit further down, he brought a hand to one of yours, diverting your eyes back up to his. His gaze had softened, and the smile on his face coupled with that look in his eyes made you flush further. “You don’t have to, seriously. Don’t feel obligated to do it”.

“I don’t”, you reassured him. “I want to do it. Badly. But only if you want it, too”.

“Fuck… I do. So bad”, he licked his lips, and he moved his hand away from yours to place it on your head instead. “You’ve got no idea how much, shit…”

So you resumed your motions, tugging his bottoms along with his underwear, enough for his length to spring free of its confinements. You weren’t surprised with the sight, honestly. A pretty face like his surely came with a pretty cock, too. So of fucking course it was pretty, especially so as precum pooled at its tip, especially when it looked just so delectably hard. It was a bit on the girthier side, but nothing too crazy, nothing you couldn’t handle. If anything, it just made your mouth water, and you licked your lips in anticipation.

“Shit…” You took him in your hand, spreading around the bead of precum that had collected on his tip to give him a couple of tentative pumps, making him swear under his breath and bite his bottom lip. “How do you like it?”

“Fuck… sloppy. Make it as wet as you can, the messier the better”, the words flew past his lips, completely shamelessly, almost as if he didn’t even need to think about them. Chris seemed to be transfixed on the sight of your hand working his length, and you took that opportunity to spit on it, making him groan while you started to coat him in your saliva.

So you delayed no further, dying for a taste, and a taste you got. As soon as your lips wrapped around his tip Chris swore. Loudly. He threw his head back and his fingers seemed to tighten a bit on your head, but he didn’t move you, he let you keep the pace as you saw fit. You started slow, holding him by the base and just bobbing your head for your lips to repeatedly catch on the ridge of his head and for your tongue to rub against the frenulum on the underside, taking him deeper into your mouth with every other stroke.

The moment you opened your eyes and your gaze found his, your inner walls involuntarily clenched around nothing, and suddenly you felt like you needed some relief. But you ultimately decided to keep your focus on Chris, on his lustful gaze, on his furrowed brows, on his gentle hold on your head, and the grunts and groans threatening to come out of his mouth, dampened by the way his teeth trapped his bottom lip.

He wanted it messy and sloppy, so you were ready to give it to him messy and sloppy. It’d been a while since you’d done this, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try. With a deep breath, you took him in deeper, breaching past the initial resistance for him to ease into your throat.

“Oh, fuck… You’re kidding… Shit…” Chris threw his head back, letting the most delicious noises out of his mouth, almost making you lightheaded with how aroused his heavy cock in your mouth coupled with his blissed out sounds got you.

You took your time slurping him up, uncaring if saliva dribbled out of your mouth as you worked against your gag reflex, feeling tears quickly collect in the corner of your eyes. When you felt confident enough with your motions, you brought your hand to his that held your head in place, while you placed the other on his hip, holding him tightly.

“You want me to move, pretty? Fuck your perfect little mouth?” You nodded in response, humming around his length.

Slowly, he started to thrust into your mouth. Chris was being extremely careful, being mindful of every controlled push of his hips, but even with his slow pace, you couldn’t help but moan as soon as he started moving, making him groan in response. That was when you finally gave into your own desires, moving your hand away from his that lay on your head to bring it under your dress so you could press circles on your clit over your underwear, eliciting broken whimpers from your mouth.

“Shit, look at you…” Chris looked fucked out of his mind already, with his heaving chest and the increasing pace of his hips. You were sure you weren’t looking any more collected than he was, especially when you started to feel tears finally fall from the corner of your eyes every time you blinked.

With one particularly precise thrust of his hips, Chris’ length went in further than you were used to, essentially choking you on his cock, making you gag harshly. Chris pulled his length out of your mouth, and you gasped for air immediately.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, so fucking good with that mouth… Come here, beautiful”, Chris helped you to your feet, wrapping his arms around your waist once you were standing on your feet and pressing kisses all over your cheeks. You were still panting a bit, flushed from exertion, but Chris kissed you anyway, and you kissed him back, holding onto his shoulders for dear life. “Need to taste you”, he mumbled between pecks of his lips. “Please, please, please let me eat you out”.

You just nodded, very eagerly if you might add. But you honestly couldn’t find it in you to be embarrassed about it, not when Chris begged so fervently for it. Just the thought of seeing him between your legs had you already clenching with need.

While you kissed, Chris removed his arms from your waist. You felt him fumble with his underwear and his boilersuit, hastily wrapping it around his waist, and before you could even register what he was doing, he was taking a hold of your ass and scooping you into his arms.

“Chris, fuck, wait. I’m heavy as hell”, you were slightly alarmed, but your legs wrapped around his waist for stability anyway just as you held onto his shoulders.

“Heavy?” Chris chuckled, moving towards his desk. “Baby, I can lift almost thrice your weight”.

“You, what?” You asked, a bit confused–and also aroused, because, fuck, how strong was this man…–Chris pushed away some of the items on his desk to sit you on it, close to the edge. After all the revelations that had come to light earlier, it finally dawned on you. “Is that… why you asked what my weight was all those months ago?”

“Of course! Needed to make sure that if I ever got a chance I was able to do everything I wanted”, he dropped to his knees, starting to press tender kisses up your shins. “Must admit I had to stop whole hip thrust sets sometimes because I’d get so fucking hard halfway through, fuck”.

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, a hearty, and slightly incredulous laugh. “Holy shit. I genuinely thought you would tell me I had to lose weight at some point”.

“What? I’d never”, Chris chuckled, bringing his hands to your thighs, squeezing them. “I mean, it’s your body, you can do whatever you want, but know that I find you incredibly attractive however you look”, he moved his hands further up, right under the hem of your dress to finally hook his fingers on the waistband of your underwear. “Can I take these off, gorgeous?”

“Yes”, you giggled, feeling yourself heating up further just by his words and the feeling of his hands on your skin. With your hands on the desk you lifted your hips enough for him to slip the garment down your legs and off of you. He threw your underwear on the desk, and they landed somewhere behind you.

Bringing his hands back to your thighs, Chris rubbed circles with his thumbs for a second, only to finally move them further up, catching the hem of your dress and bringing it with him as he went. You chewed on your bottom lip, feeling a bit nervous all of a sudden. That was, until he finally pushed your legs apart. With the way he swore under his breath and the way his eyes seemed to get impossibly darker as soon as he took sight of your seeping core, any nervousness seemed to have been obliterated, and you couldn’t help but feel just so incredibly wanted.

“Fuck… Even here, huh?” He threw your legs over his shoulders, and you felt yourself heat up in anticipation. “Plump, pretty… Shit…”

Desire pooled in the pit of your stomach, it was honestly almost pathetic how affected you felt just by the things he was saying and the sight of him between your legs.

“You know…” Chris pressed his lips to your inner thigh, sucking harshly, leaving marks on your skin, making you inhale a shaky breath. “This is the exact same dress you were wearing the first time you came into my shop”.

Your eyes widened a bit in surprise. “You remember what I was wearing?”

“Hm, ‘course I do”, he moved his attention back to your eyes, just as he pressed a chaste kiss on your inner thigh. “I’ve been dreaming of you in this fucking dress for months, baby…”

“You have?”

“I have”, one of his hands came to grip your thigh, while the other moved to your hip, giving you a hefty squeeze. “How do you like it, pretty? Or how do you not like it, for that matter?”

You licked your lips, suddenly transfixed by the sight of his lips brushing your skin. “Gentle sucks go a long way. I’m a bit, uh… sensitive”.

“Sensitive, huh? ‘Course you are… Hold this for me, hm?” He took a hold of your hand and brought it to one of your thighs, just as he spread you open further, propping your foot on the desk. So you did as asked, keeping your legs open as he diverted his attention back to your heat. “Good girl… Just like that…”

As soon as he spread you with two of his fingers, and he dived, landing soft, tentative licks on your clit, you knew you were done for. Your whole body jolted a bit, and a soft whimper escaped your mouth. “Oh, fuck…”

Chris just hummed, moving to lick at your entrance, getting a taste of your essence with his brows pulled together, looking just so fucking delighted. Just the thought that he was genuinely enjoying himself got you moaning a bit louder under the quickening movements of his tongue, and as soon as his lips pressed on your clit, giving you those gentle sucks you had asked for, your mind just disconnected completely.

He took his time working you up, turning you to a whimpering mess just with his lips and his tongue, gradually increasing his tempo to build your upcoming release. Whenever he dipped lower to lick at your entrance, his nose would bump your clit with every movement of his head, he was essentially making out with your cunt and you would gladly let him do whatever and however he wanted. Your nerve endings were on fire, your toes curled with need, and your walls clenched with his unrelenting pace.

When he detached his mouth from your core you almost wanted to cry, but he only did it for a second, enough to ask a “Fingers, baby?” only to press his lips to your sensitive skin again, sucking your clit into his mouth and licking it with his tongue.

You weren’t sure if the ‘Yes’ actually came out of your mouth, you vaguely only registered your eager nodding and the soft moan that escaped your lips as soon as you felt one of his digits at your entrance. Chris groaned against your skin as soon as he inserted the first finger to the knuckle, the vibration of the sound further fueling that fire in the pit of your stomach. He pumped his finger in tandem with his tongue on your clit, touching and prodding and gauging your reactions to his every move.

One particularly sharp nudge of his finger on your walls had you moaning a bit louder than you were before, and Chris seemed to have picked it up immediately, because he plunged a second finger right after and started pumping his digits in and out, hitting that sweet spot over and over while his lips gently sucked on your clit. You needed to have a hand on the desk to keep yourself up, to maintain some stability, so you shuffled your foot a bit and simply let go of your thigh to bring the hand that was holding it to his head, burying your fingers in his hair and pushing him further against you with a whimper.

Chris groaned as soon as your fingers threaded through his hair, immediately picking up the pace of his fingers and his tongue, bringing you further and further towards the edge, and God if you needed to tip over that edge… With how well he was working you up you felt your lower belly tighten with exertion, and your walls spasm more frequently around his fingers.

“Chris… Fuck, fuck, I’m so fucking close, please–” You almost choked with the moan that came out of your mouth after you spoke, since Chris immediately started ramming his fingers into you harder, faster, just as his plush, now swollen lips kept sucking that sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs.

He was absolutely determined to give you your relief, and as soon as you were able to open your eyes and look at him, the look in his eyes, lustful, greedy, was enough to finally push you over the edge. Searing heat spread all over your body with your release, pure pleasure overflowed each and every one of your senses, making you perceive nothing but Chris, Chris, Chris, and his lips between your legs, and his hair between your fingers, and his fingers inside of you.

Chris’ motions didn’t relent until you were thoroughly satisfied, until you weakly pushed on his head with a ‘Shit, baby, enough, please’ when he had you on the brink of oversensitivity. As soon as his mouth detached from your heat, he pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips, sucking them clean before he finally stood up and caught your mouth in a heated kiss. The fact that you could taste yourself on his lips only seemed to spur you on further, making you whimper while you brought a hand to the back of his head and took a handful of his curls to finally get completely lost in the motions of his kiss.

“So pretty, fuck…” He mumbled when his mouth disconnected from yours, cradling your head in his hands as he smothered your face with kisses. “So fucking gorgeous when you come for me, shit…”

His borderline adoring words had you feeling tingly all over, somehow both making your heart swell in your chest and your walls involuntarily flutter even when they were still sporadically spasming from the after effects of your orgasm. When Chris kissed you again, you looped your arms around his neck just as his hands found your hips, pulling him flush to you, heaving chest against heaving chest, getting lost in the feeling of his lips on yours and his hands kneading your flesh.

“Holy fuck”, you chuckled as soon as Chris’ lips parted from yours, and he followed suit, chuckling while he made his way to your neck, to press kisses all over your skin.

“Mmm, I know, right?”

Chris hugged you close, leisurely kissing and licking your neck and shoulders. His soft, lingering touches seemed to shoot straight to the deepest areas within your heart, and even though you’d just had a mind-numbing orgasm, you certainly wanted more. More of him.

“Chris?” You mumbled, hugging him a bit tighter.

“Mm?”

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, then moved to take his earlobe between your teeth, tugging gently before you whispered, “want you”.

Chris took in a shaky breath, and he pulled himself away from your neck to look at your face. God, you wanted to kiss him, his flushed face and his swollen lips would be a sight that’d haunt your wettest dreams from now on, you just knew.

He licked his lips. “We don’t have to, pretty”.

“Mm… You’re right, we don’t have to”, dragging one of your hands from his shoulders, down his chest, his abdomen, all the way to his length, you pressed your palm firmly, feeling him still hard under your grasp. “But do you want to?”

“Fuck, yeah, I want to”, Chris held your hips tighter, and you wondered if you’d see bruises tomorrow just as he placed a kiss on your lips. “I want you so bad”.

“You have me. Right here, baby. You can have me right here”, you mumbled against his lips, pressing a kiss there right after, just as Chris swore under his breath.

“Shit… Gimme a sec”, he detached himself from you, rounding the desk and pulling one of the drawers open, muttering to himself. “There were some here, I’m sure…”

You turned to look at him, oddly amused by the way he carelessly moved things around in his drawers. “What are you looking for?”

“Aha! These”, he pulled a three piece box of condoms, and he turned it around a few times in his hand with a frown on his face. “I seriously hope these aren’t expired…”

You chuckled at the sight of his focused face, amused, but also incredibly curious. “Why do you even have a box of condoms in your desk’s drawers? How many girls have you had in here?”

“Believe it or not, you’re the first one”, he chuckled, opening the package and taking one of the foil packets out, examining it closely for a moment, only to finally heave a sigh of relief. “Thank God. Not expired”.

With a smile on your lips, you quirked a brow at him, just as you watched him round the desk again to stand in front of you. He shrugged to your silent question, taking the foil packet between his teeth so he could untie the top of his boilersuit from around his hips and tug the rest and his underwear down enough so his length was free again, and you’d admit you got a bit distracted by the sight.

With the corner of the condom packet still held in place by his teeth, he finally tore it open, and you took the bit of foil that was still in his mouth to drop it somewhere on the desk while Chris carefully slid the condom down his length.

“You’d be surprised how many things a condom can be used for when working with cars. They’re always useful when you need to get creative and use whatever you have at hand”, Chris stood between your parted legs, placing his hands on your hips and squeezing.

“What kind of MacGyver bullshit is that?” You chuckled, but the sound quickly turned into a surprised yelp when Chris held you tightly and pulled you closer to the edge of the desk.

“They’ve always been helpful when I’ve needed them”, leaning into you, Chris placed a hand on your cheek, pulling you into a kiss just as he rubbed the tip of his cock up and down your slit, spreading your juices around and teasing your clit in the process, making you whimper into his mouth. “But I’ll be honest, I’ve never been more happy to have them at hand than I do right now”.

You brought a hand to play with the hair at the back of his head, pulling him for a brief kiss. “Put them to good use, then”.

“Demanding, are we?” Chris chuckled, but he lined himself with your entrance anyway, slowly easing his length into your heat. “Oh, shit…”

It was a stretch, alright, but he was being just so incredibly careful, and you appreciated it, you really did. But you were also incredibly desperate to be filled, so you wrapped your legs around his torso and pushed on his ass with your heel, urging him on, making him jut his hips further forward.

“Shit… Have mercy on me, will you?” He mumbled against your cheek, pressing a soft kiss on your skin while his now free hand made its way to your hip again, holding you tightly.

“Want you”, you replied simply, probably whinier and less demanding that you were trying to sound, but Chris complied with your request anyway, finally thrusting all the way in, making you gasp with just how incredibly full you felt.

“Want you, too”, he pressed his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking on your skin. The thought of waking up tomorrow and seeing his marks on your neck or your hips made you flush impossibly further, even as he moved along to press kisses on the exposed skin of your shoulder. “Want you so bad I’m genuinely about to burst just by being inside you right now. Need a second”.

Bringing a hand to his cheek, you made him turn away from your shoulder to look at you, and the way he bit his lip before he leaned in for a kiss had you involuntarily clenching around him, eliciting a choked groan from his lips.

“Fuck, driving me nuts… Seriously, we’re gonna have… the best fucking date ever… You’ll see…” He mumbled his words between kisses, and it genuinely had you laughing, because of course he was still thinking about your future date. “C’mon, beautiful. Hold on to me”.

So you did, bringing your arms to rest on his shoulders, burying one of your hands in his hair, all while he placed one hand on the small of your back, and the other on the desk for stability. Finally, Chris moved, starting a rhythm with precise thrusts, making you gasp at the sensation of his length dragging against your walls, making him groan.

“Fuck, shit… That’s good. So good. Feel so fucking perfect around me, baby. Perfect”, with the increase of his tempo you could barely register the words coming out of his mouth, all you could do was whine while you nodded in agreement, hoping that he, too, would know how just incredibly good he felt inside of you.

The way Chris kissed you, almost desperate, the way he started to ram into you, stretching you so deliciously you were already starting to feel lightheaded, all combined had that little bit of sanity you had left in you leave your body entirely, finally letting you succumb to just your utmost primal need for pleasure. But more specifically, for pleasure you could share with Chris.

You honestly couldn’t tell how long you spent getting pounded to that desk, you could just feel Chris’ cock repeatedly splitting you open and his lips on yours and the words that he’d occasionally mumble against your skin, his words of praise and encouragement that had you once again feeling tingly all over, words that fed that pool of arousal inside of you, threatening to spill it all over. You vaguely registered words of your own leave your mouth, too. Words that seemed to spur him on, that seemed to pull blissed-out sounds from his lips and yours nonstop.

“Lean back a bit for me, gorgeous”, and you couldn’t help but comply, removing one of your hands from his shoulders to place it behind you to lean on it, leaving just enough space between your bodies for Chris to sneak his hand between your bodies, finding your clit and drawing fervent circles on your already oversensitive bud, eliciting a moan from your lips as soon as he did. “Fuck, fuck, that’s it, baby. Just like that, milk my cock just like that, huh…”

“Chris–” You honestly weren’t sure what you were even going to tell him, you could just feel your next high approaching increasingly fast, and you needed it. You needed it badly.

“It’s fine, pretty. Whenever you’re ready, just let go”, he mumbled the words against your cheek, pressing a chaste kiss on it, a complete contrast to his sharp thrusts and the fast movement of his fingers between your legs. “Want to feel you so bad, fuck…”

“Shit–” With a few more flicks of his fingers on your clit, you finally got that sweet, sweet relief. The feeling spread all throughout your body, dragging sounds of pure, unadulterated pleasure out of your mouth, making your legs shake from exertion as you tried to keep your hold around Chris’ torso.

Bringing both of his hands to your hips for leverage, Chris chased his own release, his grunts and groans getting lost in your mouth while he kissed you again. One, two, three thrusts and he was flush against you, shooting his load into the condom while he was buried as deep as he could within your warmth, a mix of his groans and your name and a colourful string of swears flying past his lips as he rode the waves of his ecstasy with minute rolls of his hips.

“Holy fuck”, he cradled your face in his hands, pulling you in for one more heated kiss while he came down from his high, and you couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“I agree”, you were panting a bit, breathless, leaning back on both of your hands as you tried to catch your breath.

Chris laughed, a hearty laugh that had a smile appearing on your face immediately. Taking a hold of the condom by the base of his length to make sure it was secure in place, he finally pulled out, carefully sliding it off of him, tying a knot and throwing it in the bin by his desk. You missed his warmth inside of you immediately.

Taking a roll of toilet paper from one of the tool carts nearby, he quickly cleaned any remnants of his release from his length before he was tucking it back into his briefs, finally wrapping the top of his boilersuit around his waist again. With more paper in hand Chris asked you to ‘please open up those pretty legs for me, hm?’ so he could clean you up, helping you back into your underwear right after.

As soon as you were standing back on your–admittedly unsteady–feet, Chris wrapped his arms around your waist, placing a quick kiss on your lips only to move up and press another on your forehead. “You okay?”

“I’m more than okay”, you chuckled, melting into his embrace. “Everything hurts, though. How’re you?”

“On cloud nine”, he replied simply, giving you one of his blinding smiles, making your heart race with the sight.

When Chris finally detached himself from you, he reached for the soda he’d taken out of your hands earlier, giving it back to you once you told him ‘I still want to drink it. Even if it’s not cold anymore, seriously’, and after a bit of back and forth he simply relented.

“Would you…” Chris started to ask, while he bent down to take the bag out of the bin. “Would you like to come to my place? I mean, I can take you to yours, too, that’s fine, but I figured, you know, you could stay over, and we could have dinner, and I can make you breakfast tomorrow, and I’m sure Wolfgang would love to see you, and we could cuddle to sleep, you know? But if you don’t want to, it’s fin–”

You took a hold of his hand, squeezing it in yours to stop his rambling. “I’d love to”.

Chris just giggled a bit, pressing a quick kiss on your lips and tugging you out of his office back to the garage once he’d switched off the light. When you were outside, you made your way to his 4X4, watching him chuck the small bin bag from his office into the bigger bin out in the garage and going through the motions of switching every light off in here, too.

As you watched him, your eyes drifted to Herbie, parked in his–by now–usual spot. Maybe Chris was right, maybe it was time you considered letting him go. He’d served you well for those two months at the beginning, and when you were in a pinch he was very forgiving, but his condition was unsustainable at this point.

As soon as Chris was by your side again he gave you a kiss for good measure, opening his 4X4’s passenger door for you. You just smiled at him, pressing one more kiss on his lips before you finally hopped in. Chris rounded the bonnet and started to very animatedly talk about a funny thing Wolfgang had done just this morning, gesturing with his hands while he recounted the event, making you laugh.

While Chris drove you two to his place, with soft music playing on the radio, with his hand occasionally shifting from the gear lever to squeeze your thigh, all while a light, easy conversation flowed between you two, you figured that Herbie might’ve been the worst financial decision you’d ever made, but at the very least, he’d brought you to Chris, so you really couldn’t hold a grudge against him, not when you felt so incredibly light and couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face.

You can find part two here

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#bang chan smut #chan smut #bang chan fluff #chan fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction #bang chan fic #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #✨🌙✏

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night-market-if · 6 months

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Spoiler Ask

So I'm going to address it all here under the cut because I've gotten a few asks in that are pretty similar and I'm sure I'm going to get more. So I thought instead of answering the same thing over and over, I'd just do a response below. Warning, spoilers for the end of book 1.

Full disclosure. I am sick. We are going through a lot of family things at the moment. My patience is probably thin.

For everyone that says MC is already too forgiving of Milo. Milo has not even come into the story yet. You've only observed memories of him. If you feel like you need an inner dialogue to tell you how angry you are over this "betrayal" or "death", I don't know what to say here. Because MC is literally just observing things at the moment. Any options that have been put forth to comment on Milo and what has happened, have been more to lay ground work and to also give a scope of the type of emotions that will be offered in the game. But literally, Milo has not even shown up yet into the story in a real capacity. So please stop sending me asks about how you are upset that MC has "forgiven" him because there has literally been no real interaction between Milo and the MC.

As for this betrayal and death thing. I am going to state this now for those who aren't going to like where my story is going so you don't need to read if you don't want to. As the Night Market, you knew you were going to die. You gladly came down and wanted to experience death. You looked at what Milo (a non magic user) was doing, and said "hey, this would be a cool experience" and then you came down here. So, yes, you are going to feel the full range of emotions that come with it. But you are also going to need to take some personal accountability for your actions. That is what is going to be explored in this book. An entity that didn't realize what emotion actually meant, came down thinking it wasn't going to be a big deal to die, and it turned out it was a big deal. A big fucking deal, in fact and that by doing so, they actually hurt people they loved. So, don't forgive Milo. I'm not forcing anyone to. But, I will not be writing an MC that puts all the blame on him. Because guess what? The Night Market would have died if he didn't do what he did. So, everyone also saying that he killed the MC? No, he literally saved the MC and billions of people. And I don't care what way you spin it? One person is never worth a billion souls. And with the MC being someone that literally cut themselves open over and over again to save most of the people living within the world, I would think they would probably not be too keen on Milo sacrificing them so they could die together in some bullshit Romeo and Juliet act.

Now, I am all for exploring how an MC comes to terms with the feeling of betrayal along with the feeling of needing to take responsibility. I am all for exploring an MC that goes "holy shit this emotion thing is way bigger than I thought and I'm angry and confused". I'm there for it. I'm excited to write it. But, I will not be writing a willfully ignorant MC that doesn't take into account that they did this to themselves as well. And yes, if you choose to not acknowledge it in game, others are going to acknowledge it for you. If you want to not read because you can't become a villain, rock back and forth in a corner and weep, or violently get mad at someone who saved the world? That's cool. I'm not offended by someone not reading it. Anyone coming into my ask box and saying "I just am not going to read now because you aren't doing xyz" I wish you a good night and hope you find something else for you because there are thousands of stories out there.

I am not interested. Nor will I ever be interested. In writing a story where I add to the plague of ignorance that is this world. Aren't we kind of all struggling enough with that in our own lives? MC is a being of compassion. They will always be a being of compassion. That is going to shift and change based on circumstances and there are going to be moments where that compassion can fall into question. When it comes to Milo, it is going to be a messy bit of confusing emotions because there is so much more than just the black and white strokes of "OMG he killed me" that seemed to be the rhetoric on here. Now, you don't want his character around? Alright. Other than when you have to see him for Gatekeeper purposes, you probably won't.

To all of you guys complaining or sending me ask after ask stating how you don't like what I am doing. I am going to tell you this and it will not ever change. If you don't like reading this, then don't read. I am not here to write a story for you specifically. You don't like the direction of a work and can't ever broaden your scope of fiction to give it a shot? Then please don't. But to have this kind of messages coming through when literally we are a chapter in? Seriously. The instant gratification is bullshit. I'm going to suspect this is coming from the younger half of my audience who is way too accustomed to a confirmation bias internet algorithm and who has had a very small scope of real life. This is of course not all of the younger crowd but it's starting to seem like a pretty good amount.

I love having conversations with everyone. My discord is always open but most of you anons hide because you are far too scared to come at me with your user name or engage in a conversation feed where more than just me can answer. I mean, you guys send me asks, citing others user names, to call them out through me. It's laughable at this point.

I love having discourse with all of you but I'm not going to keep answering the same thing over and over again and justifying my work when it doesn't need to be justified. This is a small little bit of fiction in a vast sea.

If I sound pissed, it's because I am at this point. And I'm sure I'll get more asks in that are stating they are jumping ship or that they are disappointed in me or what not. I'll delete them and move on with my evening.

To all of you who are here for the ride and just want to experience what I'm writing? Thank you. Fiction is just meant to be a form of entertainment. I am not writing anything profound. To anyone that is looking for something more, move on. I'll see everyone who wants to get mad or saying I'm too harsh, in my inbox, I am sure. Thank god you can block anons.

#the night market #interactive fiction #answering your asks #writers rant #i'm done with this shit guys

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sunshinegat0r · 10 months

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I’ve had a song stuck in my head all week, can you guess which one? Also Eustass Kid is so fucking fun to write, what the heck! Modern AU, established relationship, just thought it’d be nice to see him as obsessed with reader as I am with him. 🙃

Perfect ~ Eustass Kid x F!Reader

CW: Swearing, brief mentions of sex acts (masturbation, grinding), nothing too exciting.

WC: ~1.2k

“What’re you doin’?”

You glance over your shoulder and unfold your torso, pulling up the large boxer-briefs patterned with cartoon nuts and bolts. You release the waistband with a flourish and let the elastic snap against your hips with a smirk.

“I feel more comfortable with something on, and-” you glance around the semi-chaotic state of the bedroom, “-I have no idea where my underwear even are.”

“I ripped ‘em off ya.”

“Eustass!” you chide, no real heat behind the words. “I liked that pair!”

The red-head shrugs with a big grin and tucks his arm behind his head, propped against the headboard of his giant-sized bed. He has to admit it’s a nice view, watching you move around his room topless and wearing his clothes.

“Why’re you leavin’ me all alone over here?” Kid sulks.

You move to the desk in the corner, dragging over a small desktop mirror and some makeup wipes. “Some of us have things to do this afternoon and can’t stay in bed all day fucking.” Kid tsks at that - you know he could keep you trapped in his bed if he really wanted to.

“And as much as I love your, uh, art, I don’t think my boss would appreciate it nearly enough,” you tease, peering at your body in the mirror.

Reddish-purple lipstick is smeared all over your skin. While there are rare spots that form a perfect set of lips, it’s mostly lines of color, left from where Eustass Kid dragged his lips along your body as he ravished you. Your lips and neck suffered the most attention, but you blush as you notice the prominent amount concentrated on your breasts, and the trail down your stomach leading in between your legs.

You turn the mirror to meet Kid’s gaze behind you and find he has the most insufferable grin on his face. Truly caught red-handed - or red-lipped - his own mouth is anything but neat and tidy.

You roll your eyes, a soft smile lifting your lips, and adjust the mirror back towards yourself, grabbing a wipe to start removing the evidence. You don’t bother taking a seat at the desk, you just lean over and get to work.

As he watches you with sharp golden eyes, Kid’s smile slips slowly from his face. The gears in his head are spinning fast enough he’s surprised you can’t hear him thinking.

He’s fucked.

Well, technically you both were - he’d made sure of that thoroughly - but he’s in real trouble here.

He can’t tear his eyes off of you. You look so perfect standing there in his underwear, with his marks decorating your pretty skin like the finest museum-worthy art piece. It’s not an unfamiliar sight - the two of you had been dancing this tango for months now. Neither of you wanted to put any labels on it. For Kid, at first it had been a fun distraction from the regular bullshit of living.

Now, thoughts of you distracted him from every other aspect of his life. You were the first thing on his mind when he woke up, checking his beat-up phone for a text from you (since you were usually up hours before him). No matter what his day consisted of, even in the palace of his workshop, it was plagued by thoughts of you. And at night, when he couldn’t sleep for tossing and turning, your eyes, your smile, your body, consumed him as he tugged his aching cock, desperate for your touch to wear him out.

It was safe to say Kid was a bit obsessed, which was new territory for him. But as he watched you, all soft curves and graceful limbs, humming tunelessly and tapping your foot a little, he knew. All he ever really wanted was you.

You straighten from the desk and give yourself a final once-over in the mirror, satisfied with your work. You haven’t bothered cleaning up the marks below your neck - the collar of your shirt will hide all of that.

And besides, you… Kind of like the idea of walking around with Kid’s claims burning on your skin, with no one else the wiser. The thought brings a warm flush to your cheeks and you turn sheepishly towards the bed.

You’re surprised out of your own embarrassing thoughts by the sight of Kid looking just as flustered. Briefly you wonder if he knew what you intended by leaving yourself in such a state. His large hand is covering his eyes but it’s not enough to hide the blush bathing his own cheeks and tips of his ears, bright red against his pale skin.

Padding softly over to the side of the bed where he’s reclining, you lean in and blow a gentle puff of air into his ear. Kid jumps and swears, staring at you like a deer caught in headlights. It’s enough to make you giggle; you’ve never seen his feathers look so ruffled.

“Penny for your thoughts, babe?” The question is dripping with false innocence as you walk your fingers up his arm.

Kid scowls and looks away, twists his arm to grab your wandering hand with his own. You yelp when he tugs you back into his lap and you settle, straddling him. You’re suddenly glad for his underwear; flimsy barrier though it may be, anything to give you a chance not to be lured back into his clutches.

Eustass Kid was never one to back down from a challenge and he’s not about to start now. Despite the heat still painting his face he manages to pin you with his golden gaze. His mouth works for a few moments before he forces the words out through clenched teeth.

“Just… Realized how much ya mean to me. How - whenever I think about what I want, you’re top of th’ list. By leagues.”

Your eyes widen and you feel like you could melt straight through the bed, the floor, into the earth below. You thought your face was on fire before - now it’s your turn to cover it with your hands.

At least, you try, but Kid has a firm grip on your left hand and he’s not letting go to save you any dignity. If anything, your reaction seems to have given him some of his cocky swagger back.

He snickers at your distress and gathers both of your hands into his large one, raising your arms above your head and leering at you like a fresh-caught prize. “What’s wrong, treasure?” he coos ominously. “Can’t handle a little sincerity?”

You shake your head and let out a surprised gasp when he pulls you against his chest, his mouth immediately back on your neck and undoing all your hard work. “Only you could turn such an embarrassing confession to your favORRrr,” you mutter, a particularly hard nip turning the last syllable into a quaking moan.

You feel an inescapable hardness growing through your stolen underwear. A secret smile spreads across your lips and you arch against Kid’s chest, grinding your hips down and wrenching a garbled curse from him against your skin.

You were definitely going to be late for work.

Tag List: @zoros-sheath @quinloki (Your pinned post says to tag you in any Kid stuff so here I am hello goodbye 🫣)

#one piece #one piece x reader #eustass captain kid #captain eustass kid #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid #kid x reader #kid x you #one piece fanfiction #modern au #sunshinegator writes

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eldritch-spouse · 4 months

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You know I think Breg would benefit from having friends, one : to give his drunk father figure some rest and two : to have people stop or encourage him in his bullshit. Obviously having monster friends would be better for him, so I made a list of the people I think he could along with (and the ones he would chomp without regrets)

Friends :

Santi: this one is easy, Santi seems to be an easygoing person and a good friend to have. When he's not drooling over Breg, I think he'd give some really good tips about life and how to deal with his obsession (after begging for a threesome and getting punched in the face), if they got close enough, Santi could even help Breg forget about some of his insecurities in the way that he would put him at ease.

Grimbly : by association, he'd be intrigued by Breg, for the first few times, their first conversations would be "You're so tall !! No you're like huge" , "Well you're small like a...bean", but they get along just fine.

Fank-E : He's friends with everyone and he'll put a bunch of stickers on Breg and he lowkey annoy the shit of him at certain times but it will end up in this semi-consensual kinda forced friendship (who's more insistant him or Breg ? I guess we'll never know)

Gallon : Him and Egghead would have talks that would leave Eggy scratching his head and staring into the void, but they're nice to each other, Gallon might be a bit condescending in reaction to a how simple Breg's mind seems to be.

Middle ground

Patches : I hesitated as putting him as friend but I think his scientific interests would put Breg off

Belo : Belo is too polite and uptight, and his fixated stare can make Breg feel uneasy, they talk just fine

Sybastian : Syb just kind of mind his bussiness and keep it pushing but there's rare times where he growls a "hello" to Breg and keeps walking

Nebul : Nope, this only reason why they're not enemies is because Nebul is civilized, but the potions and his dominating nature would make Bregory avoid him like the plague

No fucking way :

Morrell : Their interest for the same thing (human) is diverging in two different directions, Breg is like "Humans are friends not food ! 😡" and Morrell is like "yUM sTEaK !", it's their relationship on a very surface level and I think Eggy would leave it at that

Hellion : Nah, they would fight and Breg would just bite that head off his neck

Vinnel : That punk would try to pull a prank on Breg, he would fall for it, get mad and then catch Vinnel and try to squish him like a stress toy, Vinnel would be in pain for a little while and finally leave Breg alone (or plot a terrible revenge)

Did it actually turned into a scale of friends to archnemesis of TCE? Yes. Am I proud ? Yes.

Here's the thing though.

One of the first things said about Breg is that he dislikes monsters. He glorifies humans and has a general aversion to monsters, finding them generally untrustworthy. This isn't to say there can't be exceptions, like Fasma, but Breg would probably have a much bigger drive to acquire human friends.

The problem with human friends is that it wouldn't take too long for him to cross boundaries if Breg is yet to meet his obsession.

With monster friends, you're also forgetting that Breg refuses to set foot in The Clergy in general. He's been there once with Fasma, didn't like it at all, vowed not to enter it again- He'd have to meet staff outside. I sincerely don't think many of these would work out all that well, certainly not Santi. The incubus' insistence on wanting to fuck him would make Breg really aggressive really fast. Grimbly's manipulation and cute talk would fall on deaf ears and unfortunately things with Gallon would be more akin to one-sided mockery. Fank-E would genuinely irritate Breg, but since he's a machine and not a monster, things might work out given he's moderately quiet.

Belo's aura as an angel might make Breg slightly more at ease, yet somehow hyperaware of the power himself, which would probably confuse the breeder a little. Patches would get himself torn in two horizontally if he doesn't contain his scientific interest around Breg, as it could trigger really intense reactions from the ex-captive. Morell and him would just brawl, correct.

Ironically, I see him as possibly getting along with Glauk, even if there's a barrier there in the sense Breg doesn't know how to swim properly yet. Glauk is relatively small and can't say weird things to him plus seems eager to share all kinds of trinkets people dump in the aquarium. This is a bit of an impossible scenario, unless Glauk is being transported outside for some reason or another.

#Morell oc #Gallon oc #Belo oc #Patches oc #Nebul oc #Sybastian oc #Vinnel oc #Santi oc #Grimbly oc #Fank-e oc #Hellion oc #Glauk oc #Bregory

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iwritesickfic · 2 months

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I would love to read a story about Theo getting sick while Seamus is away for a few days, and he comes back to find Theo with a bad cough and some other symptoms. Bonus if his cough is so bad Seamus has to take him to urgent care to get a nebulizer or something!

anon i know you've been waiting MONTHS for this fic, thanks for your patience and i hope you enjoy <3

The moment Seamus walks through the front door, he hears it. Deep, crackling coughing. He sighs, putting down his suitcase.

“Theo?” He calls. Leave it to his boyfriend to contract some miserable virus in the only four days they’ve been apart in months.

“In here!” Theo’s voice calls, sounding distinctly hoarse. Seamus leaves his things in the entryway, only bringing his extra large airport coffee with him into the kitchen.

His heart clenches when he sees Theo, who’s in the middle of another violent coughing fit. He’s standing by the kettle, a cutting board with uneven lemon wedges and a ginger root that looks like it’s been peeled with a blunt butter knife in front of him. One of his hands is gripping the counter, the other catching his hacking coughs. He’s almost gasping between them, and when they finally taper off, it takes him a while to catch his breath again.

He’s pale apart from the flush on his cheeks, swimming in one of Seamus’s sweatshirts.

Seamus lays a hand on his back, and he messes with his hair self consciously.

“Hey. Welcome back. What’s up?” He croaks, and Seamus’s hand rubs his back in slow circles.

“Nothing really. What’s up with you?” He asks pointedly, and Theo sighs, half laughing. He gestures to the butchered lemon and ginger in front of him with a shaky hand.

“Can’t fucking peel to save my life is what,” he says, and Seamus can’t help but laugh too. He kisses Theo’s cheek, and it’s predictably feverish against his lips.

“Sit down, I’ll show you.”

Theo struggles up onto the counter, muffling a few coughs into his sleeve when he’s done. The cough seems desperate to get something up, but nothing is moving in his chest. Seamus catches a hint of a wheeze in his breath, but it goes away quickly enough that he turns his attention back to the ginger. A spoon is sitting alongside the paring knife, and Seamus laughs again.

“Were you using a spoon?”

Theo shrugs.

“What else am I supposed to use?”

Seamus shakes his head and takes the knife. It’s about the dullest one they have, which explains the lemon.

“A peeler. Or a knife. Sharpness is the only requirement,” he teases as he makes quick work of the root. He could do this with his eyes closed he’s done it so many times. He chops off about an inch long piece, then chops that in half, dropping one into the mug already on the counter, and grabbing another mug from the shelf. “Big ginger wants you to think you can do it with a spoon but that’s absolute bullshit.”

“Ok, well this is why you can’t leave me here all by myself,” Theo teases back, though his eyes are distinctly tired.

“Well you also caught the plague. Clearly,” he says, passing one of the steaming mugs to Theo. He cups it with both hands and sighs, though his breath is short.

“Just…a cold,” he says, voice soft.

“Sounds like more than a cold,” Seamus says, resting his hand on Theo’s knee. “I’m happy you took the day off though. And you’re not even bedridden.” Usually at 10 in the morning on a Friday Theo would be in the studio.

Theo rolls his eyes and takes a sip of the tea. He winces as he swallows.

“Max cancelled. And Elise. So…” He trails off, then quickly puts down his mug as he starts to cough again, wet and desperate. Seamus rubs his thigh, and Theo looks almost dizzy when he’s done. “I don’t know. I’ve had this fucking bitch of a cough since Wednesday and I guess they were tired of it.”

Seamus frowns.

“They probably wanted you to get some rest. And knew you wouldn’t be the one to cancel.”

Theo shrugs, eyes half lidded.

“Or they were annoyed I was messing up every take hacking into the mic.” He sniffles, and picks his tea back up with shaky hands. Seamus is puzzled by this turn in the conversation. Maybe it’s the fever making him irritable.

“You don’t think they like you? Or…would be worried about you?” Theo shrugs again, face blank. “I mean, Max, Elise…they’re your friends.”

“Now,” he says, and Seamus steps closer, so he’s between Theo’s knees. He lays his palm on Theo’s chest. He looks so exhausted, so miserable.

“C’mon,” he says, and Theo coughs again into his elbow. It leaves his breathing even tighter than before.

“Seamus, we both know when my number’s up none of these people will give a fuck about me,” he says, and his voice breaks on the words, from the tightness in his lungs or something else, Seamus can’t tell. His heart aches, and he cups Theo’s hot cheeks. He forces their eyes to meet.

“I’ll always be here,” he says, and a small smile tugs at Theo’s chapped lips. “Me and Zeke.”

“I know.”

Theo’s always had issues trusting people and their intentions, and after what happened in the wake of their breakup four years ago - blocked numbers, paparazzi leaks, closed door shit talking - it got even worse. It’d all been substantiated. All those fears and worries were proven right. So who was Seamus to tell him that wasn’t true?

Still, he doesn’t often talk about these kinds of things, and Seamus regrets bringing it up when he’s already sick as a dog.

“You’re sure it’s not the plague?” He finally asks, pressing his palm to Theo’s scalding forehead. He makes a soft sound, leaning in the touch, before it becomes another fit of coughs. The wheeze is pronounced now, his breath sounding like it’s coming through a straw.

“Could be,” he finally says, one hand on his ribs.

It only takes a ten minute video appointment with his doctor to get him a prescription for albuterol, and Seamus is thankful for the millionth time that anything and everything can be delivered in New York City.

By noon Seamus has made soup, set up camp on the couch, and prepped Theo’s nebulizer with the prescription. In only a few hours, his cough has gotten even worse. His breathing is tight and noisy, and his fever has jumped a degree and a half.

Seamus’s heart throbs again when he walks into the living room with their bowls of soup. Theo’s fumbling with the mouthpiece of the nebulizer, huddled under a blanket with his knees pulled up to his chest.

Seamus doesn’t have to say anything, just pushes his hair back off his face, and Theo hands him the small device. Almost every breath is followed by a few weak coughs, and Seamus wastes no time in handing it to him when he’s finished.

The first few inhales have him coughing, and Seamus rubs his back.

“What are you in the mood for?” he asks as he grabs the tv remote. “And don’t say bake off.”

Theo scoffs inside the rubber mask.

“I’m dying. I want bake off,” he says, voice muffled by the plastic. He coughs weakly, though it already sounds better than it did.

“Can we watch a different season at least?” Seamus already knows the answer.

“Season 5,” Theo says, leaning against Seamus’s side. His breaths are growing deeper, steadier. Seamus kisses the crown of his head, settling into the carefully arranged nest of pillows and cushions.

“Season 5 it is.”

#my writing #whump #sickfic #illness kink #oc theo #oc seamus #fever #coughing

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dandylovesturtles · 3 days

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For the ask game! :)

LMNSTU

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Usually as I'm writing it (assuming I don't just do it all in one sitting), I'll come back and give it a read over and edit before I start back to work, and then I read over it once more before I post it. that's usually it though. I'm lazy when it comes to editing lol. pretty much all my fics are first drafts.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

well, I do still want to write the fic about Splinter's son (that he didn't know he had) stumbling into their lives post-movie. I have a post about it on here somewhere.

the fic I MEANT to write after I was done with IMBI (before a different AU plagued my brain, which I've been actively working on) is a fic whose working title is "Mikey and Donnie's Step-by-Step Guide for Saving Your Doomed Family," which is the obligatory peepaw fic. It follows Mikey and Donnie, post-movie, building a cross-dimensional time machine to try and save the bad future Hamatos and bring them to the saved present. It's told from Mikey and Donnie's POVs and has a heavy focus on their relationship, both pre- and post-Krang invasion.

I do still really want to write it, it's just that this other thing completely consumed my creative energy. oops.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

uhhh idk. I have lots of ideas all the time that I'll probably never write just because, you know, time and labor lol, but not really any I can think of to put here.

this is the nice thing about fandom kinkmemes (or whatever you would call a SFW kinkmeme), if you have an idea you don't want to write yourself you can just go drop it in a comment and let someone else write it.

I have already answered S

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

uhhhh I think my biggest thing that is Popular In Fandom but I Don't Like is AUs that bring fantastical canons into our reality and like, have the characters going to college or working office jobs or whatever. so "modern AUs," except it bums me out that that's the name we settled on because actual modern times in the setting of a fantasy canon could be really fun! Like, I don't want the "modern AU" Dragon Age to have Hawke working at a coffee shop and taking writing classes at the local uni, I want it to have them fighting darkspawn on top of a skyscraper. or like, you can have the Gaang going to college, but why can't they bend anymore! just let them have it!

FFXV is one of my favorite canons purely because it actually shows some of the thought behind like, what if a world had normal modern technology (they're driving around in modern cars and using smartphones) but also monsters and gods and magic. but so many fantasy settings in fiction are either medieval or do the bullshit where you have the "magic world" hidden from the "normal world". no! boring! I want to know how legislative proceedings are affected when congressmen can challenge each other to wizard duels. expand your mind!

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

this is list is not in any particular order:

taizi is an amazingly talented writer, there are so many lines in their fics that make me go "wow", and they have such a grasp on character and emotion. they also have some great One Piece fics!

MagicalSpaceDragon is another absolutely incredible writer. their "theseus, and" series is particularly good, but I actually have them in my bookmarks for one of my favorite ROTTMNT fics of all time, "i guess we've really been out of touch (but can it really be so serious)"

and reccing my friend Kiaxet, who is also an amazing writer who mixes hilarity, angst, and heartwarming moments with a deft hand. I'm so excited for the rest of her "Siblingquest 20XX" fic, but all her fics are amazing!

and while they aren't a TMNT writer, I wanna shout out Asidian, who has written several of my favorite FFXV fics (including and especially "Running Behind", which is one of the best MT!Prompto fics, right up there with "poor wayfaring stranger"), and also has some amazing Rise of the Guardians fics (I especially love "Bits and Pieces", which has my favorite trope of "hungry character gets fed", but "Every Boy And Girl" also makes me cry everytime).

thanks for the ask!

#writer ask game

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dear-taka-chan · 2 years

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need a hand?

cw: no specified pronouns/gender, established relationship, fluff, mentions of blood, injuries and death, canon typical violence.

note: requested by @/fggcgsblog

𝟐𝟎:𝟒𝟗 read the time on your watch. you let out a sigh. forty-nine minutes had passed since your boyfriend told you to "wait for me. i'll be back soon." and then rushed out before you could even ask further.

you and mitsuya finally had some time off from your busy schedules so it was mutually decided that a date was much needed and that it would be a great way to spend some time together. only you were waiting in this café with no call or message from him and neither was he answering either of them.

you waited patiently at first but as the time went on your patience turned into worry. this was uncharacteristic of mitsuya. he wasn't irresponsible. and everything he did was for a reason. so there was only one thing that explained his absence and radio silence— he was in danger.

you wanted to believe that you were just overthinking and being silly over nothing. but as soon as a bruised and bloodied mitsuya came into your mind and the thought of potentially losing your boyfriend plagued your thoughts, your heart rate increased and you quickly grabbed your phone, wallet and keys and rushed outside.

⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯

takashi scrunched his nose as soon as the metallic taste of blood hit his taste buds. he spit it out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

eyelids drooping and body swaying, mitsuya launched a fist towards the man in front of him only to be punched straight in his gut by him. more blood spewed out of his lips followed by a pained groan.

he was getting tired now. his body was giving up. he was aching almost everywhere and he knew it would be difficult to shower because of all the cuts and bruises painting his body in reds, blues and purples. that was; if they didn't kill him. which was highly unlikely.

guilt also ate him up when he remembered that he had broken his promise of spending some quality time with you. he had kept you waiting alone in that coffee shop full of couples. mikey called him to take care of some business but maybe even his president didn't know the extent of this "business".

"takashi!" his ears rang. did they hit him in the head hard? he was starting to hear your voice now and here of all places. it was distant and muffled though.

"takashi!" but it was getting clearer. his head pounded. yeah he definitely got a serious head injury.

"takashi!" you screamed.

"huh?" he turned around to see you running towards him.

"oh my God. i knew it, i fucking knew it! i should have come sooner. i had a gut feeling but i ignored it for so long- fuck!" you shouted at yourself. angry that you let this happen to the man most precious to you.

"what are you doing here, (name)? go back! this is dangerous" mitsuya's voice drawled. he tried to scold you to somehow make you listen to him. to get you away from this. but frankly? he had no energy.

though, in all honesty mitsuya was happy. he should have guessed it. he should have known. of course you would come! and now that you were here, he wasn't worried in the slightest.

he looked at you as you looked at him, both mirroring a smile.

"oi!" one of them shouted. "we don't have time for this lovey-dovey bullshit."

"yeah! let's kill them both!" and in typical gang fashion they started chanting "yes" which sounded like noise pollution to you than anything.

that was okay though. these low-lives weren't about to go home in one piece anyways.

"ready?" takashi asked, straightening his shoulder and warming up a little.

"more than ready." your lips turned up.

⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯

"i wanted to thank you for today." mitsuya speaks up though his eyes don't meet yours. he seems to be content staring at the cemented road below. you support his weight and wince a little with every step. you knew you weren't going to come out of it unscathed.

"unghh," his lilac hair covers his face as the wind blows. you help him sit down on the bike and takashi's face contorts in pain.

cupping his face with both your hands, you make him look at you. "you don't need to thank me, darling. your safety is my utmost priority."

takashi let's out a relieved sigh. your voice is so low and soft, just for him. it's so sweet and soothing to his ears after the loud and noisy shouts of those gang men. the pretty smile that you send his way despite the injuries that you carry, makes his heart skip a beat. you look the prettiest when you smile for him. it makes his heart flutter. the way you look into his eyes as if he is your entire world makes his eyes glossy. he stops himself from crying, gulping down the lump in his throat. sometimes he gets overwhelmed by the amount of love and care you have in store for him. he isn't used to it, having always been at the giving end; not the receiving one.

you risked your safety for him. you saved him. you were there for him when he needed help, when he needed you.

"but didn't i tell you not to get involved in gang business? this was dangerous, (name). this could have been fatal."

"and what? let you die? ever thought what would I do if something happened to you? you don't want to think. if those- those motherfu-"

"shh." he placed his index finger on your lips. you looked down at his finger and then at him, heat rushing to your face. mitsuya leans closer and now your forehead touches his. "you wouldn't do anything. you would continue to live your life normally. you wouldn't do anything to put yourself in danger or make your life miserable. it's not the end of the world. i don't want anything bad happening to you."

"but taka- hmph!"

takashi captures your lips with his and presses them against his in a needy and passionate kiss. a hand brings you closer towards his body as he deepens the kiss. "kiss me."

"a good way to shut me up." takashi lets out a chuckle.

#takashi mitsuya #mitsuya x reader #takashi mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #mitsuya fluff

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mayra-quijotescx · 2 months

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look, I get that I'm not the most objective person here considering I've been observing a kind of fucked-up Expert Mode Lent against my will for almost four solid years from all the shit I had to give up because people couldn't handle covering their plague-vector faces for six weeks at the start of this fucking pandemic, but people look so fucking ridiculous having Glorious Revolution fantasies when they can't even just not do small things. I'm not even talking about doing a small thing here (like wearing a goddamn mask), I'm talking about expending slightly less effort in your day.

To go to Starbucks and get a latte you have to go out to the location and drop at least $5, plus a tip (assuming you're not a total piece of shit.) If you're in the US or other car-centric countries, this most likely requires you to get in a car and drive over there, unless your home or workplace is in walking/biking/reasonable bus proximity. Using a stovetop espresso maker takes like 5-10 minutes, can be done without going outside, and is dramatically cheaper (and the resulting latte can be more reliably and simply customized to your tastes.) If you're lactose intolerant, making your own espresso drinks also spares you the dairy-substitute charge. If all this sounds like more effort than just venturing forth and spending at least $5 per drink to get a coffee, there plenty of other places with espresso drinks on the menu--if there's some Starbucks-only caffeine desert out there somewhere, I've yet to hear of it. But people will stick with Starbucks even though it demands more money and effort of them, I guess because it's a habit?

Which seems like a bullshit reason to keep doing something the hard way, especially when the hard way is under boycott for union-busting and suppressing employees who express support for Palestine. But if I've learned anything about people in general over the last four years, it's that a depressingly high number of people would rather actually die/kill than change even the tiniest aspect of their lives, so

#not to be a bialetti moka evangelist all the time but that $25 stovetop espresso gadget has saved me actual thousands of dollars #anyway if you can't even substitute one treat for one not under boycott or not watch a show you're not the vanguard. sorry not sorry.

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codenamehazard · 1 year

Text

.:Breaking the Shackles:.

.:InFAMOUS: No Man's Land Chapter 1:.

Hey guys! This is the first time I've posted a proper story onto here, so I am both nervous and excited to share it with you!

Since we probably will never get an InFAMOUS game that takes place after the evil ending of InFAMOUS 2, I figured why not throw my hat into the ring and have some fun with it?

Huge thanks to @rogueshadeaux for helping me out. She's a super talented writer and has her own InFAMOUS story, InFAMOUS: Erosion. Check her out, she's awesome and I have been learning a lot from her guidance.

I don't know if this is needed, but I'm putting it here anyways. MAJOR SOILER WARNING!

The story is from Cole's point of view, so be aware of that.

Buckle up and enjoy the read!

The night sky was clear, save for the odd cloud that passed overhead. The wind lazily blew as the fire before me crackled and popped. I warmed my calloused hands and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. It had been a couple of weeks since I splintered off from the army I once begrudgingly led. A couple of blissful and quiet weeks of pure freedom.

It is in these times of quiet that I am able to think clearly, able to work out and make sense of all that happened over the past god knows how long. It’s hard to keep track of time when the only thing you can look at is the rising and the falling of the sun. I tossed a piece of splintered wood onto the fire as I began to think back. Think back to where it all began.

To when the shackles of the Messiah were forced upon my neck, arms and legs.

—-

I remember the day I became the Beast. After all that happened, all the pain, John just… Gave up and thrust his powers onto me. It was overwhelming, every nerve-fiber alight. The sensation was… Indescribable. It was heaven and hell all at once. It was… Incredible.

It’s a real shame that this buzz had one hell of a hang-over, the responsibility that John now shirked onto me. The task of raising up the next generation of Conduits. A burden I was now forced to bear, an expectation of greatness. Gee, doesn’t that sound fucking familiar?

In the beginning, everything was… Okay, I guess. I didn’t want to lead, never did and never wanted to, but who else would these people turn to? To them, I was their savior. I cured them of the plague that was ravaging their bodies and gave them powers, of course they were gonna look up to me. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to. I had to be provider, protector, teacher, mediator and all the lovely bullshit that comes from being a glorified baby-sitter of grown ass adults. I never sugar-coated anything; if they couldn’t follow me as I am, they won’t follow me at all.

God, and I thought dealing with Kuo and Nix butting heads with each-other was a real headache…

The only thing that made this hell tolerable was the fact that Kuo wasn’t riding my ass all the time, most likely thinking I’ve “turned a new leaf” and I'd suddenly become a changed man. I couldn’t help but scoff at the stupidity of it all, but who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

It wasn’t as bad in the beginning, the small group of fledgling Conduits all indebted to me was easy enough to manage. I could stay on top of everything and make sure they didn’t kill each-other while still having a tiny sliver of time to care for my own needs. Over time, as the numbers grew, so did the headache. It seemed like there was always something that needed my attention and if I ignored it to let them sort it out like adults, Kuo would be oh so helpful and “remind me” to go take care of it. I couldn’t get a moment’s peace, more and more I found myself unable to care for my own needs.

It. Was. Hell.

The responsibility of a savior, the nagging of Kuo, the neglecting of my own needs- God it felt like college all over again. My parents bore down on me when all I wanted was the freedom to do as I wished. A hunger started to grow inside, a need that I sated greatly when I had taken over Empire City and made it my own. A hunger for destruction, a need to take what I wanted. This hunger only grew the more I suppressed it. Every now and again, I would try and sate my hunger: toying with enemies, letting loose with my powers, instilling fear into those who followed me, but every time I tried, that icy bitch would get on my ass. If anything, she seems to be much worse than she was before.

It’s easy for her to say. Easy for her to bark at me from her pedestal and scold me, she’s not the one sacrificing anything and she thinks she has the right to judge me? HA! She abandoned her morality when faced with her own mortality, what high ground does she even have? She doesn’t have a fucking leg to stand on.

While infuriating as it was, as much as I wanted to leave, I felt like I couldn’t. I hated this role I was forced to play. Again and again, I was found in the role of the errand boy. Even with my choice, my choice to go against the “destiny” that Kessler groomed me to have, the greatest act of defiance I have ever committed to finally, finally free myself from this vicious cycle. All I seemed to do was to swap one set of chains for another. The breaker had been tripped and I was done! I wanted to be free!

Yet, I couldn’t be free, as without me… All of my hard work would go to waste. I was the only one who could awaken these dormants, the only hope that some people come out of this alive. Without me, these people would die. It was a burden I didn’t want, but it was one that must be shouldered, one I was forced to bear. These shackles I must wear until the end. This was fact, whether I liked it or not.

That is… Until one day.

The small army of fledgeling and newly fledged Conduits and I had gone through Lawton, Oklahoma. I had leveled the city down to the ground and awakened the Conduits within, but I had noticed that there were… Less Conduits than I thought would in a population of around 90k or so. This had spooked Kuo a bit, making her frantic. She believed that the reason for the lower numbers was due to the Ray Field Plague picking up steam and starting to kill faster. A reasonable train of thought. I would have believed it to be the why had there not been something else that I had noticed before Lawton. Something that had been starting to gnaw at the back of my head.

While Kuo was too busy harping on about me not keeping every Tom, Dick and Harry in line because… Oh I don’t know, I’m only one person. I had been paying attention to what was around me and I had started to pick up on some interesting… Discrepancies, if you will. The kind of disturbances that only Conduits could make: scorch marks with no true source to be seen, areas that looked damaged by various elements with no cause, a slight echo of energy in certain spots. These oddities reminded me of the damage I caused back in the beginning, those two weeks in Empire when I was trying to figure out my powers on my own. It made me start to wonder. Was there something else going on? It couldn’t be another Beast or someone running around with a third Ray Sphere… Could it?

The thoughts only continued to grow as I traveled westward. More signs of Conduit activity, but no Conduits in sight or any signs of an activation method. I started to ponder heavily, was it possible for a Conduit to activate themselves?

I got my answer as I traveled deeper through the Great Plains.

It was there I saw them, the “missing Conduits.” I stood in shock as I watched as two small gangs of super-powered humans clashed. Powers of all kinds and creeds striking and igniting the area with colors and damage. If that wasn’t enough, these Conduits weren’t rookies either, the way they used their powers reminded me a bit of the gangs back in Empire City. They had experience.

They had been awakened long before I came. Now the pieces were falling into place as I gawked at these… Free-Ranged Conduits as they fought. For what, I didn’t know, but all I knew was it looked like one hell of a party and I wanted in. That feeling, that urge, my hunger, it now burned hotter than before. I was about to rush down before I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

I turned my head and let out a low growl when I saw it was Kuo, stopping me. “Leave them be, Cole. It’s a good thing we figured out the mystery, but we still have a job to do. There are still people who need you.”

We? HAH!! There is no we. The only time she ever lifted a finger was either to bitch at me or when I had to twist her arm to actually get her to be useful and actually help for once. I pull my shoulder away from her touch. “Don’t touch me, Kuo.” I had hissed out at her before continuing onto the next city.

That day, that moment… It never left me.

I continued to see these Wild Conduits as I traveled on. Seeing how free they were. Able to live their lives however they saw fit as they roamed in roving gangs, taking what they wanted, doing as they pleased. Having the freedom that for years I have been starved of. How they turned the Great Plains into a post-apocalyptic playground. Absolutely lawless. Seeing them made my blood boil. They got to be free while I was stuck in a cage. Such thoughts made me grow bitter and even more resentful than I already was. Even nature was reflecting the mounting rage. The clouds darkening and rumbling with thunder as the storm in my heart builds.

I slipped into my old Empire City habits, no mercy, no care. Why should I? It’s not like the world ever gave a damn about me, the only people who ever did are dead. Kuo only cared when I was doing the things she wanted me to do and the people I commanded didn't give a shit either. The hatred burning and gnawing away at my chest like a rabid animal, demanding I do something, anything, to let it free. To sate my long suppressed needs, to take care of myself for once, just as I had done before. I started to do just that, little by little. My attacks on cities became more brutal, my training and sparring more harsh and unforgiving, my temper growing shorter. The relief I felt was welcomed, but short-lived as soon afterwards; the screeching icy harpy would be at it again. Bitching at me, screaming at me, interrogating me, undoing all of the progress I made. One step forward and ten steps back. It doesn’t take a genius to see the obvious, I was a ticking time-bomb. All Kuo was doing was adding more gunpowder to the mix and shortening the fuse.

It was only a matter of time before I blew a gasket, and that day came sooner than anyone thought.

It was only two short weeks after that moment, I remember it well. A pained scream rang out as I had thrown a pair of Fledged Conduits onto the ground, having beaten them senseless. They were getting into an argument about something; what it was, I didn’t give a shit. If they wanted to fight so much, I'd give it to ‘em. Now the two lay in the dirt, battered, bruised and pleading for mercy. I was about to knock them out when I heard the ear-piercing screech of that ice bitch. I felt the temp drop as she teleported over.

“What in the HELL do you think you’re doing??” She screamed indignantly at me. I turn my head to look at her, my eyes glowing with fury.

“What does it look like I’m doing? Dweedle Dee and Dweedle Dumbass wanted to have a scrap, I just gave them what they wanted. Is that a problem, Kuo?” My voice dripped with venom as I said her last name.

“What in God’s name has gotten into you? I shouldn’t have to tell you not to take your anger out on these people!” Her voice was like a fork on glass, piercing and painful. “You're a leader to these people! You can't just beat the shit out of them just because they piss you off!”

My face curled into a snarl as I walked up to her, I could feel the electricity in my arms building up as I got closer to her. “I can’t fucking win with you, can I?” I growl at her as I loom over her. “If I do something, you’re bitching and if I don't do something, you’re bitching! So which is it, huh? Do you want me to do something when these idiots act up or do you want me to let them sort out their shit on their own?”

“What I want you to do is to be responsible for once in your life!” Kuo screeches out. “These people rely on you, Cole! You can't just do whatever you want! You saved them, you must protect them! It's your duty!” Those words. Those fucking words. It felt like my blood was replaced with hot plasma hearing the pure and utter audacity she has. She was a hypocrite.

A crash of red lightning overhead as I finally snapped. That’s. It.

Before she could speak another word, I raised my hand and unleashed a torrent of electricity dead center in her head. The force of the shock sent her flying backwards as the crimson glow of the bolts changed to a color I haven’t seen, a hue I had missed.

Black and red.

I walked over to Kuo as she laid on the ground, her eyes looking up at me dumbly. I could see it in her face, she was gobsmacked. She tried to get up to shout at me again, her hands forming the tell-tale mist that she was going to fire back a volley of her own ice, but I shocked her again before she got the chance. She writhed in pain on the ground as I stared at her, electricity arcing off of my arms and thundering rumbling above us. She slowly tries to get to her feet as she gets control of her body.

“Cole! Have you lost your mind??” Her voice screams out, full of fear and indignation.I couldn’t help but to scoff.

“Lost it? No Kuo, if anything. I have found it.” I growl out with a sneer. “I’ve put up with your bitching and hypocrisy for far too long and I’m done.”

Kuo looks at me with that stupid shocked look, like she hadn’t known this had been a long time coming. “Are you giving up?” She gasps. “Wake up, Cole! This isn’t something you can-” I zap her again before she can utter another word.

“No! You’re the one who needs to wake up, Kuo! It must be real easy barking demands and telling people what to do while you get to sit on your ass. Not even lifting a finger to help unless I force you to help me.” My voice dripped in malice and hatred as I got into her face. “It’s so easy to yap and bitch while not having to do any of the hard work or make any sacrifices.” I can tell she wanted to say something, but she seems to have enough sense to shut up, especially since the Beast is staring her down.

“What? No retort? No backtalk? Good!” I snap. “It’s high time you shut up and truly listen to me for once in your damn life.” I could feel eyes around me as I could feel the others coming around and spectating in fear. “They way you talk and act; you think being a leader, being a messiah, is a walk in the fucking park. You’re not the one sacrificing. You’re not the one bearing the weight of everything on your shoulders, having to neglect your own needs and go against your very nature because there’s always somebody who needs your help.” I could feel the static building on my skin as my mind rushed with thoughts of the past. Of all the moments I had been denied the ability to choose my path. “ You never had to deal with the pain of being forced into a role you never wanted, the feelings of being an animal trapped in a cage.”

“But, Cole…” I hear the harpy’s voice speak up, much meeker than before. “John gave you those powers for a reason, you have a duty to fulfill, a moral obliga-” I hold my hand up and she shuts up again.

“Oh no, don’t you even think about going there with that “moral obligation” bullshit. You don’t have a leg to stand on!” I hiss out, teeth bared. “You’ve always been like this, Kuo. You act all high and mighty but when it came down to the wire, you sold your soul to the devil. You’re no better than me, but at least I’m not a hypocrite like you.” I spat out those words as if they were acid in my mouth. “I know I’m no saint, I never have been and you’re a fucking idiot for even entertaining the thought that I had become a changed man after John shrugged off his responsibility onto me.”

“Look! I get it!” Kuo squeaks out. “You were hesitant to take on this responsibility, but I was trying to help you! Regardless of whether you wanted to be a leader or not, you are now! You have to step up to the plate and be better!”

Was she serious? Was she that dense? Did she not hear anything I said?? “Oh, you don’t like how I do things??” I snarl as I grab her shirt. “You think I’m such a terrible leader! You think being a messiah is so easy, Why don’t you try it!?” Venom dripped off of my words as I growled. “You think you know how to be a better leader, be my fucking guest!” I pushed her back, knocking her onto the ground. “I’ve had it with you, I’ve had it with all of this. I’m done.”

I turned around and began to leave, leaving Kuo in the dirt as terrified onlookers watched me. Hearing Kuo stand up and reach to grab my shoulder, I turned around and unloaded several thousand volts of “fuck you” into her. It wasn’t enough to kill her, but it was enough to hurt like hell. I wanted to make sure my message to her was loud and clear, I was done playing nice.

I stand up on a rock to address the crowd of onlookers. “I’m taking my leave of this hellhole.” I stated, my voice firm and matter-of-fact. I wasn’t going to pussyfoot anymore. “If you want to continue to follow me, I won’t stop you. That’s your choice to make. Just know that if you do, I’m not gonna hold your hand anymore. You sink or swim and you take care of your own shit like adults.” With that, I step down and I walk out into the open plains.

I walked, then I ran, then I sprinted. I could hear Kuo’s voice calling out for me, but I didn’t pay it any mind. My body was filled with adrenaline as I made my mad-dash towards the very thing I have been denied time and time again, like a wild animal broken out of its cage. Freedom.

I ran out into the wildlands and I never looked back.

—-

The fire was starting to dim as I slowly came out of my moment of reminiscing. I had been on my own for a couple of weeks and it was goddamn heaven. I was now doing what I should have been doing from the very beginning; whatever the fuck I wanted. The shackles of the messiah were finally broken and I revel in every second of pure freedom I have. For once in my entire life, I was now truly a free man. I answered to nobody but myself.

I tossed a piece of wood onto the fire to give it a little bit more fuel before I looked out onto the horizon. My lips curled into a genuine smile, the first time in forever. Endless possibilities now at my feet. My eyes catch sight of a small band of roving Wild Conduits and my smile turns to a grin. What lay before me was a lawless world, full of people just as lawless as I.The world before me was a chaotic Eden. Ripe for the picking and now it was time for the Beast to come and play.

I just hope, for their sake, that they’re ready for the storm that is now coming. After all, it wouldn’t be much fun if I broke my new playmates, now would it?

#infamous 2 #infamous #cole macgrath #Xeno Writes #fanfiction #Evil Ending #SPOILERS #tw spoilers #Evil Karma #Lucy Kuo #Also #just a heads up #My dislike for Kuo shows heavily here #So my deepest apologies to any Lucy Kuo fans out there!#Evil Cole #Evil Cole MacGrath #demon of empire city

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romanticwealth · 4 months

Text

A real fucking horror story

Content warning - FANON MASKY!!!! THAT STUPID TWINK!!!!!

—

It was supposed to be a normal night. I get on my phone, look at my socials, log off to go draw, all the normal bullshit. I listen to a bit of music (Hollywood Undead, Nico Collins, Ice Nine Kills, etc., use your imagination), and then I play some video games. That’s all it was supposed to be, yeah?

I guess someone had other plans.

See, it was around 3am. I know what you’re asking- “why the hell were you up at 3am?” Because I was drawing. Simple. Sure I had something to do in a couple of hours, but that didn’t matter. What did matter was my yaoi fanart while I listened to Millionaires!!!

Anyways, so I’m scribbling on my iPad. I’m working on my artwork of guys kissing. In a few minutes I’m going to get on my phone and look at Discord to yell at my friends.

Just then, someone taps on my window. This of course, freaks me the fuck out. It’s three in the damn morning- who’s tapping on my window? It ain’t rain, and it ain’t the wind. This is horrifying. I turn off all my devices and pretend to be asleep, despite the internal dread I’m feeling knowing that someone is at my window.

Then, I hear my window opening. Woah- what the fuck? Now this is pure horror. I shut my eyes tightly and pray for all this to be some sort of dream, nightmare, anything to know that this ain’t real. I clutch my plague doctor plush and feel my lip quivering. Fuck.

I suddenly feel a presence in my room. The sound of boots hitting my floor and the smell of the outside world hitting my nose as I still pretend to be asleep. There’s a presence looming over me now, and I’m debating on if I should just get up and fight this person off. But they may have a weapon- what do I have? My fists? Yeah right. Like that’ll save me.

“Wake up,” I hear. The voice is… god, so irritable. It’s high pitched and squeaky. Talk about a bad break-in. That’s when I realize that I may just have power over this person.

So I drop the act and swing my fist, hitting something. It’s the person, judging by the pained yelp. I get up and grab the closest thing I could- a prop axe. I begin beating this mysterious foe with it, wincing at every pained groan and yelp I hear. I’m not violent by any means, but I felt like a fucking wrestler in this very moment.

After a bit, I see that they’re weakened. I drop the prop axe and put my foot on this person’s chest. I lean down and pull off their stupid mask.

God, I felt like my soul left my body when I saw their piercing blue eyes. The only thing I thought was, “oh god, please get this person brown contacts.” Not, “Jesus Christ, someone broke into my home.” That’s how pathetic and weak this guy looks.

“Please,” he whimpers. “I’ll leave and never-“

“Shut the fuck up,” I interrupt. “You don’t get to break into my home and then ask me for mercy. Who do you think you are?” I sneer, pressing my foot down more. He yelps again. At this point, I’m wishing that I had grabbed something heavier to knock him out with.

“What’s your name?” I ask. “The police are gonna have a field day with you.” I comment. The intruder doesn’t respond.

“Name.” I demand. He winces. “T-Timothy.” He says.

“Hi Timothy,” I say, getting my foot off of his chest and forcing him onto his feet.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, you’re gonna get the fuck out of my house and if you dare come back or even think about it, I will not be as nice as I’m being to you right now.”

“Do you understand?”

He nods quickly, so I force him back out of my window and shut it with more force.

Since that day, I haven’t been able to get the smell of cheesecake and those piercing blue eyes out of my mind. I sometimes still see them when I close my own eyes. They haunt me. It’s like my house is haunted by that twink-truder.

I hope I don’t see him again. If I do, I’ll be keeping my fucking word.

#creepypasta #fanon masky slander #fanon masky makes me want to say twinks dni #im so tired #a real fucking horror story #real shit #creepypasta fandom #mentally unstable #truly horrifying

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daybreakrising · 4 months

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i'm not going to make a big post about it bc i am sick and lack the energy for Words but-

this year has not been kind to me overall. i won't go into the details of why, partly bc there's too much to go into, partly bc i don't want to dampen this with negative bullshit, but it has been a Hard year and i am still struggling with a lot of things.

HOWEVER.

this is also the year i started playing g//enshin (thank u charlie for bullying me introducing me, and thank u to the friend who gave me his old ps4 so i could play it) & it has led to so many positives. i'm writing here again - and ENJOYING IT - and i've met some great new people & made some friends that i hope will last a long time. it could be the hyperfocus talking but this silly little game has given me so much and i'm not sorry it's taken over this blog (but thank you to all who followed me for other fandoms and/or stuck around from before, you're all appreciated)

i've handed out some positivity here and there over the last few days but i simply cannot get to everyone (see: no energy bc sick), but i do appreciate everyone i've started talking to over the last few months. i look forward to writing more with those i've already started building things with, and to exploring new things with fresh faces. i've been trying to overcome the crippling social anxiety that has plagued my existence for as long as i can remember, by reaching out more to people & interacting on posts, and i intend to continue that into the new year.

i'm under no illusion that things will magically improve for me as soon as i leave this year behind, but i'm going to make an effort to improve things for myself. we'll see how successful i'll be, i guess. maybe i'll actually get around to publishing one of my three books next year-

but until then - happy new year everyone! i wish all the best for everyone!

#;forever yelling into the abyss (ooc)#( 'i won't make a big post' - proceeds to make a big post LKBDLKGF )#( still got 15 minutes to go but i wanted to get this down before the fireworks start *again* & i gotta deal with a stressed dog *again* )

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nvvermore · 1 year

Text

Paint You Red

A talk at the docks between Amaryllis and Julian

[part nine of Come What May]

words: 2.2

cw: memory loss, the girls are fighting

accompaniment

-☽☼☾-

“Julian, I can't take this any longer. Either we talk now, or I leave.”

When Amaryllis finally puts their foot down, demanding Julian stop whatever one-sided game he's been playing with them all day, he leads them to the east docks.

It’s dead silent out here, dark, only the light of the moon to illuminate his face before them. The sea is endless, the only thing breaking up the view of the shimmering water is the dilapidated form of the Lazaret. It turns their stomach, it always has, and if they'd known this was Julian’s master plan all along they would have led him elsewhere for this ‘talk’.

“Alright, what's so pressing that you felt the need to dodge this conversation—that you wanted to have in the first place— all day?” Amaryllis asks, crossing their arms as they wait for his answer. Julian simply sighs, taking his time pacing slowly back and forth at the very end of the dock. After a silence that goes on too long, he finally stops, and sits down, legs dangling off of the edge.

“Feel that breeze. A nice night for sailing, don't you think?” He stares out at the water as he speaks, hardly addressing them at all.

“Julian.” Amaryllis snaps. In the past few days, they've learned a lot about Julian. One of them being, when they treat him harshly, he either feeds into it or grows embarrassed. But today, nothing. All day he’s been dodgy and tense, trying to take them on some meaningless adventures that accomplished nothing but wasting their time, ignoring their pleas for him to just get out with whatever he needed to say.

“Right.” Amaryllis sees his moonlit silhouette nod. “Come sit?” Julian pats the spot on the dock next to him.

They brush off his request, merely stepping closer to lean against the post next to him. “I’m fine standing.”

“Amaryllis… listen. We, uh, really need to talk. We've uh. Needed to talk all day. I guess I was just enjoying myself too much to take the plunge.”

“Enjoying yourself, or just stalling?”

“Both, I suppose.” His voice is small.

“Just out with it already, Julian.”

“I've done the calculations.” he starts, his words quick, like he has to force them from his mouth or else they'll never be spoken. “Thought of every possibility. Run through the scenario in my head over and over. There's only one way I can see this whole thing playing out. And it's not a happy ending, trust me.” He stops to take a deep breath. Amaryllis wants to interrupt, tell him to keep his monologues to himself, but they remain silent. It’s the most they've gotten out of him all day, after all. “Isn't it best to cut things off at the pass? To spare you the trouble of a tragic ending?”

“What?” It's all Amaryllis can say really. They stare down at him, but his eye is trained out on the Lazaret instead, avoiding them.

“The Lazaret.” Amaryllis is ready to just kick him off the dock and into the sea below. “Where they sent the victims during the plague. A monument to my failures. It haunts me.”

“I know what the Lazaret is. I see it every night in my dreams.” Julian finally glances up at them then, eye wide with horror. “Now back to the subject at hand, what is this ‘It's not you, it’s me’ bullshit?”

“I don't want to drag this out, Amaryllis.” His expression softens, shifting back into misery. “This… whatever it was, whatever it could have been.”

“It was more than just ‘whatever’. We both know it.” Amaryllis admits, suddenly feeling pathetic for fighting back against him at all. It’s new territory. Usually, they're the one doing the rejecting, not the other way around.

“Well, it has to end. Before it's too late for you. I am only going to end up hurting you somehow. I know it.”

They scoff. “Congratulations are in order then, Julian. You're a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Not this. I’ll end up doing something much worse. It’s what I do. What I've always done.” Julian says, and it feels final, or at least, Amaryllis wants it to be.

“Fine. I’ll leave then.” They turn away without a second thought, heels clicking against the dock, breaking the peaceful silence of the ocean. They've only made it a few steps before footfalls sound behind theirs.

“Amaryllis, wait!” Julian calls after them.

“What, Julian?” Amaryllis raises their voice, turning to face him where he stands a few feet away. “What is it? Do you want me, or not? I don't like wasting my time, and I’m sick of everyone else always deciding they know what's best for me.”

Julian splutters, opening his mouth, but nothing ever comes out.

“You know what, good riddance. I don't need someone like you who's clearly too caught up in himself to trust my judgment. If this is some shit about whatever happened that night of the masquerade, fine. If you want to martyr yourself so bad, I won't bother with the truth, I’ll just see you at the gallows instead.”

“I don't know if I killed the Count… but I know I could have. I know I have that darkness inside me.”

“And you think I don't? I’m sure many people wanted nothing more than for Lucio to finally meet his end when he was gorging himself while the city died. You were there, in the trenches. Even if I believed all this was as simple you being a murderer, I wouldn’t blame you. I don't think you're dangerous, I know danger, I promise. I think you're scared.”

“And you aren't?”

“Of you?” Amaryllis laughs. “Wouldn't dream of it. Of everything else? I'm terrified. From the moment you broke into my shop, something snapped in me. This pull, I've never felt anything like it in the years that I can recall, and I’m not the type to fall helplessly with one fell swoop. That's what I'm scared of. Of what you meant to me, in another time.” Saying it out loud only makes them feel worse. Until now, they could just pretend that Julian was just another pretty man they were stringing along for a good time, while keeping the truth tucked away in the back of their mind.

Julian seems to catch on to the shame in Amaryllis’s confession, and steps closer. He lifts his arms, hesitating, but ultimately places gloved hands over their shoulders. They reject his touch, stepping away.

“I know it's only been a short time, but I feel like I've known you for years. Is it because you put me at ease? That's hard to do, you know. I want to be around you. I, erm. Can't stop thinking about you, even when you're not there. That's the problem. I'm torn in two, Amaryllis. My brain tells me to leave, but my heart keeps pulling me back.”

“Then why?”

“There’s no future for us that doesn't end in ruin for you.” Julian says solemnly.

“Wow, have you started up a hobby in divination? That’s great Julian, I wish you the best. Maybe you can join up with the fraud fortune readers down at the market.” Amaryllis spits, taking a few more steps away from him. “Remember how I said I dislike wasting my time? Apparently not, you were too busy listening to yourself instead of me. I’m done.” They turn away from him once more, making their way back up the dock.

“Let me walk you home.” he calls after them.

“Oh, I should let the dangerous heathen walk me home? I think not.” They shout back at him.

Amaryllis doesn't stop when he follows them, apparently deciding on his own he’s going to walk them anyways. They'd really like to turn around and curse him for not listening to them. But they have bigger thoughts to deal with, what with the way they bared their heart and feelings to him just to be rejected anyways, despite their best instincts.

The walk back to the shop is quicker than normal, with the fast pace Amaryllis keeps to keep as far away from Julian— still trailing behind them— as possible.

A chirp rings out in the distance, and Styx swoops out of the darkness, landing upon their shoulder. The bat had made himself scarce when Julian had taken them to hide out Mazelinka’s home last night.

“Where have you been?” Amaryllis asks their familiar, out loud.

“Wanted to give you space.”

“Thank you. But I won't be needing much anymore.”

“Everyone is home now.”

“Great, that’s just what I need right now.”

They're just steps away from the shop, the curtains drawn with light from inside peeking through. Amaryllis pauses on the street, imagining Asra and Ophélie inside helping each other with dinner, while Vesper sits off to the side, his only assistance in the form of backseat cooking. It’s warm, inviting, how they felt last night when Mazelinka welcomed them into her home with open arms.

They now realize staying there last night was wholly unnecessary. They didn't have to stay, and they probably shouldn't have. But they did anyway. They wanted to spend time with Julian, away from the outside world where Amaryllis is tasked with deciding if he really is as guilty as everyone— including himself— believes him to be.

Earlier in the day, Amaryllis would have invited Julian to join them inside without a second thought. He would have protested, gently, but they would have forced him through the door anyway. Things surely would have been tense between him and Asra, but Vesper and Ophélie would welcome him as Mazelinka did them. Ophélie would have made him a plate of whatever it is she's cooking up, forced him to take a seat and enjoy. Vesper would have dug right in to find out what made him tick, would have given them a look and made some comment about what a catch he was. It’d be a wonderful night, and Amaryllis would think about how Portia and Mazelinka were missing, but that there would be all the time in the world for the two to join at some point.

But now, Amaryllis simply turns to glance back at him, pretending not to see the way his eye tears up at their cold expression. He takes a step closer, opening his mouth, but they push open the front door, slamming it in his face behind them.

The shop’s atmosphere is a complete opposite to the one they just stepped in from. As predicted, a racket is coming from the kitchen upstairs, the sounds of Vesper and Ophélie’s bickering carrying down the stairs and through the shop. Asra must have been anticipating their arrival, because he’s already at the bottom of the stairs, smiling when his eyes land on them.

“Welcome home, Amie.” His greeting has all the warmth it usually carries, but they aren't in the mood for kindness anymore.

“You’re back early.”

“We decided to cut the trip short— I recognize that look. What happened?” Asra’s soft smile falls into a concerned grimace.

“Not now.”

“It’s Ilya, isn't it?”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Amaryllis, I haven't seen you this upset in… Well, a very long time.”

“Fine, it's about Julian!” Amaryllis raises their voice just enough, tired of being pushed and pulled at all day. “You'll be pleased to know you won't ever have to hear about him from me again. Julian is done, I’m done. Happy?”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it—“

“Julian? He’s back?” Ophélie calls suddenly, from the top of the stairs, her voice small.

“He’s probably still moping out front.” Amaryllis tells her.

She doesn't wait for an answer before rushing down the stairs, pushing past Asra.

“Lie, where are you going?” he calls as she scoops her coat up off the floor.

“I have to talk to him.”

With her brow furrowed and look of determination in her eyes, she glances back at everyone briefly. She exits the shop silently, leaving everyone with nothing but the slam of the door.

Amaryllis moves without thinking, stomping through the shop as if the pounding of their heels against the wood flooring can stop Asra’s attempts at speaking with them. “I’m going to go chase down Ophélie—“

Asra cuts them off. “She’ll be okay. She needs this.”

“So she does know him. From before.” It isn’t a question.

“I don’t know the details,” Asra says carefully. Amaryllis turns, eyeing him. “I wasn’t there.” He sighs, the look in his eyes hollow. “But I know he helped her out of a horrible situation. It was traumatic for her, when he disappeared.”

“He said she sounded familiar when I’d mentioned her.”

“He should be more than familiar with her. From what I know, she was just a child when he found her. Practically had a hand in raising her with—“ he cuts himself off.

Amaryllis opens their mouth to make the connection on their own, but instead Vesper takes the moment over, choosing right then to be the perfect time to pop his head around the stairwell.

“So, anyone want to tell me who the hell Julian is?”

#amaryllis leroux #the arcana #julian devorak #apprentice amaryllis #fan apprentice #amieilya #come what may #amie fic #my fic

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