#hes a fucking menace and should be arrested

[petrichor-writings]

ＬＡＣＥ (18+)

toji fushiguro x fem!reader

warnings : smut, slightly controlling toji, non-sorcerer au, oral sex (both receiving), implied age gap, fingering, edging, unprotected sex, using a lace ribbon as hand restraints, the use of the word "mamas" and "ma", toji's thighs are fucking huge, so are his hands, innocence kink, daddy kink, lowkey breeding kink, dumbification kink, dacryphilia, toji is a tease, couch sex, author can't be bothered with proper capitalisation so it's in lowercase.

wc: 2.2k

ao3 link

(a/n): haven't written smut in a WHILE and as my first post on this account i hope it's not too terrible loll

the bow had been a mid-day addition to your outfit. a simple piece of  lace you had seen at the craft store that matched your outfit perfectly, and somehow doubled the innocent angel vibe that your outfit gave off. which is why when you came back to your shared apartment wearing the delicate white lace in your hair you nearly gave toji a heart-attack. 

of course, you couldn’t tell that toji was basically going into cardiac arrest on the couch, as he was still rather stoic. the only real indication of his internal struggle were his narrowed gaze, now tracking you across the room, and the slight crunch of the metal beer can in his now tightened grasp. it wasn’t until the older man opened his mouth that you realised what you were in for. 

“what’s that you got there mamas?” his voice was low borderline growling. 

“what toji? the shopping? it’s the grocery’s you wanted and the stuff from the craft store!” you responded with a smile, trying to feign innocence. 

“mmmm.” toji said, setting down his beer and beckoning you over. “thats not what i meant. and i think you know that.”  

you now stood in front of him, in between his spread legs, trying to still feign innocence in the situation. he smiled but it was more of a smirk, his eyes darkening as he removed the shopping bags from your hands and set them on the coffee table to his left. 

your cheeks began to warm as his large hands found your hips and dragged you into him, now having you straddle him on the couch, the evidence of his arousal pressed against you. one of his hands kept you in place, a silent warning to not move as the other reached up and untied the bow from around your hair. 

“still don’t know what im talking about?” he grinned as he dangled the strip of lace in front of your face. “i don’t remember seein’ this in your outfit this morning. which means it wasn’t approved, was it?”

“oh… that.” you couldn’t deny it now, not with the evidence of your rule breaking right in front of your face, grasped in between toji’s thick fingers. “m’sorry” you said eyes struggling to meet toji’s. 

“what're we sorry for mamas? let’s be specific huh?” he asked, the hand on your hip moving to your thigh, kneading the thick flesh there. 

“m’sorry for not following the rules, for not getting it approved by you before adding it to my outfit.” you mumbled, sheepishly meeting his eyes. 

“mmm that's a good apology baby, but what happens to pretty little girls who break the rules?” he cocked his head to the side, looking at you expectantly.

“we get punished.” your voice was a whisper now and toji’s grip on your thigh had become bruising.

“that’’s right!” the grin coupled with the menacing look in toji’s eyes simultaneously unsettled you and aroused you. and you knew he knew, you knew that he could feel the wetness pooling in the white lace panties that he had picked that morning, just below the little pink denim shorts he had also picked. 

"now… what punishment to choose is the question…" toji's voice trailed off in thought, the gears turning in his mind as he looked mischievously between the lace still clutched in his hand and your face. 

"sweater off and wrists out baby." he said, all but growling in excitement. "no touching for today." 

you whined in protest as you offered your wrists to the man, "but-".

"no buts. or else we'll add no cumming to that list. in fact you should be grateful you're even gonna get to cum today, after breaking my rules. how 'bout a thank you, lil ma?" 

"thank you daddyyyy." you said, dragging out the y in the word as he tied the lace tightly around your wrists in makeshift handcuffs. 

"mmm, that's what i like to hear." toji smirked, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before lifting you off his lap and onto the floor in between his thick thighs. slowly he pushed down his sweats, revealing his hardened cock, the tip an angry red and leaking. "you know what to do ma, but remember no touching. or else you really won't like what happens." 

the older man gripped the base, holding it in place as you placed small kisses along the shaft, working your way up to the tip, licking the beads of precum off his skin before taking him into your mouth. his hands retracted from himself before they threaded into your hair and slowly you bobbed your head up and down, trying to take him in further with each movement. 

"just like that baby…" toji says with a small groan, breathing getting heavier with every movement of your mouth around him. you smile internally as you let your own moan reverberate through your body, the vibrations around his dick sending waves of pleasure through toji. 

you can tell he's nearing his release, his deep moans and groans becoming more frequent and his cock twitching in your throat. suddenly the hands that were loosely threaded in your hair become rigid and he pulls you off of him with a pop. 

"as nice as that feels, the only place i'm cumming tonight is in that pretty little pussy of yours." toji releases your hair but grasps your bound wrists, using the lace to guide you back onto the couch as he slots himself between your thighs. 

slowly the man runs his hands across your thighs, working them up your hips before his fingers find the button of your shorts, peeling them off of your body and chucking them haphazardly across the living room of the apartment. his fingers find you again and he locks his gaze with yours, smirking as he lazily strokes your core gently through the white lace of your underwear. 

this goes on for a few moments before you finally whine in annoyance, grinding yourself down further into his hand. "please toji, need it so bad." 

"aww do you need somethin' there mamas? if you do use your words like i taught you." he responded, fingers teasing the edge of the cloth covering your now drenched cunt.

"please toji, need your fingers, mouth anythin', pleaseeee." you half begged, half moaned.

"well, since you asked so nicely." toji's finger curled around the edge of the white lace at the crotch, tugging the material down your thighs and legs, discarding it to join your shorts elsewhere in the room. 

slowly he sank one of his long thick fingers into you, mouth moving to capture yours as he did so, swallowing the moan that you released at the intrusion. he broke the kiss as he began to pump the digit in and out of you, adding a second and relishing in the mewl that escaped your lips before working his mouth back down your naked body, licking and kissing and bruising the flesh that was fortunate enough to come in contact with his mouth. 

when he had reached three fingers inside of you he could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching. most of the time he could tell it was coming before you did, knowing the subtle signs your body let off like the back of his hand, but he waited until it was clear you knew your release was approaching, face contorting in pleasure as you felt the knot in your stomach heat and curl, waiting to snap, before completely stopping his movements and retracting his hand altogether. 

your eyes snapped open as you felt your orgasm get ripped away from you, looking down at the devilish green eyes staring back at you. your arms flexed instinctively and toji gave you a sharp look as your hands moved, a silent reminder of your punishment.

"daddy please, please you said i was still allowed to cum." you frowned, eyes welling up with tears as you looked at the stoic man below you.

"you will mamas, i promise, just not yet, okay?" you nod enthusiastically at his response and let out a squeak as he returns a finger back to your dripping and needy hole without warning. 

he works your hole faster this time, second and third fingers joining fairly quickly before dropping his mouth to your fleshy thighs, still pumping his fingers into you, curling his fingers to hit that squishy spot inside of you, but now also pressing hot open mouthed kisses along your skin. 

he quickly makes his way to the apex of your thighs, before latching his mouth to your clit, gently teasing the nub. as you whine and moan and twitch above him toji removes his fingers once more, immediately replacing them with his mouth and tongue, eating you out like a man starved as his fingers take up the job of stimulating your sensitive clit, tracing delicate circles into it. 

you reach your high faster this time, and same as before toji rips himself away from your core just seconds before you can get there. you're crying at this point and toji smiles a little, relishing in the fact that you're so desperate for the pleasure that only he can provide you, you'd allow yourself to cry over not getting it. 

"you taste so sweet baby, too sweet to be crying." he lifts himself from the ground, licking the rest of your slick from his lips and fingers before leaning over you and carefully kissing away the tears that rolled down your cheeks. 

"jus' wanna cum daddyyyy" you sob, breathing shallow as your hole clenches around nothing, longing for your boyfriend to give you any sense of relief. 

"you will baby, jus' wanted you to wait until i was inside, wanted you to cream on my cock, is that so much to ask?" he asks with faux sadness, lining up his still rigid cock with your slick covered entrance. 

"no toji, s'not too much." you keened, tears still falling as the older man pushed himself all the way into you.

"still so tight babygirl, gripping me like a fuckin' virgin." toji groaned, head dropping to the crook of your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses along your neck contrasting the brutal pace he set as he began to thrust into you.

as toji had his way with your body, cock hitting all the right spots with that perfectly rough yet pleasurable pace, lips kissing along the column of your throat and hands leaving bruises across your waist and hips, the urge to touch him grew, and your hands started twitching above you, tears falling more rapidly from your eyes. 

"please, please toji-" you cried, breath hitching as the tip of toji's cock bumped your cervix, "please wan' touch you so bad, please." the sobs were wracking your body now, mixing with twitches from the stimulation toji was providing everywhere across your body, creating a sweet melody for the black haired man. 

"sorry baby, but i gotta stick by the punishment-" he groaned, hips beginning to stutter as he neared his high, "else you'd jus' go 'round breakin' all my rules." 

"no- no- toji, 'd be s'good, a good girl" your protests devolved quickly into incoherent babbling and pleasured noises, as one of toji's hands released from your waist and starting circling your overstimulated clit. 

"you gonna cum for daddy soon mamas?" toji questioned, smirking as your fucked out brain lost any ability to speak, instead whimpreing and moaning in response. "aww you too fucked out and dumb to give a proper response?" he asked, only getting another whimper in response.

"s'ok, s'good, we're gonna cum together and who knows maybe i'll actually fuck a baby into ya, make you a real ma."

the sentiment sent you over the edge and you smiled, drool pooling onto the couch cushion as the coil in your stomach finally snapped. white hot pleasure firing through your half limp body. toji pounded into you, fucking you through your high, but each thrust became sloppier and less rhythmic than the last, before his hips faltered and stopped, cock pumping you full as your cunt clenched hard around him, pussy subconsciously milking the man for every last drop of his seed. 

with an unceremonious sigh, toji pulled out of you, watching for a moment as the mixture of your releases dribbled out of your used hole, before grabbing a wet wipe from the coffee table, (that you kept there for this exact reason), and carefully wiping you down and then sitting back down on the couch beside you, dropping the wipe onto the table with the long forgotten beer. 

"mmm c'mere, lemme undo those hands of yours." toji said, pulling you back into his lap, carefully undoing the lace before pressing soft kisses to your slightly red and raw wrists. "i hope you know we're doing this again 'n i'll buy you as many of these pretty little hair ribbons as you can find."

"mmm sounds good 'ji, love you" you said, pressing sleepy little kisses to his throat, his lips and lastly the scar on his lips before passing out into a fucked out slumber on your boyfriends chest. 

#petrichor-writes #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji smut #jjk toji #toji jjk #fushiguro toji smut #toji zenin x reader #toji zenin #toji x you #toji fushiguro x you #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[cherrycola27]

afterglow

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol and drinking. Military inaccuracies. Allusions to and smut. Friends to lovers. Mutual pining. Unrequited love. Minors DNI. 18+. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 4: Punished You With Silence

The room was silent after Jake's omission. Everyone stood there with wide eyes looking between the two of you.

The shock of the confession cause Coyote, Phoenix, and Bob to lose the hold they had one you.

Before they could stop you, you pounced on Jake, taking him off guard and knocking him to the ground.

"You son of a bitch!" You screamed at him as you landed a few good blows to his face. It took Rooster, Coyote, Payback, Fanboy, Bob, and Maverick to pull you off of him as Phoenix, Omaha, Fritz, Halo, Yale, and Harvard watch on in horror. A few of them went to go get help.

By the time all was said and done, you were sitting in Cyclone's office with bruised knuckles and Jake's blood staining your flight suit.

"Well, Lieutenant Briller, I hope you're satisfied with yourself. Lieutenant Seresin has a broken nose and will have to be grounded until it's healed." He tells you.

"He deserves worse." You scoff and roll your eyes.

"Lieutenant Briller. This is no laughing matter. I could have you court martialed and dishonorably discharge, but for some reason, far beyond my wheelhouse, Lieutenant Seresin begged me not to. He seems to have more grace than you do. Now, I don't know what entanglement the two of you have been in to get yourselves in this situation, nor do I want to know. All I know is that you two will have plenty of time to work through your issues while you are grounded for the next six weeks at minimum." Cyclone states.

"But, sir!" You protest. "There will be no buts, Lieutenant. I've made my decision, and that is final. You'll report for desk duty at 0800 hours tomorrow morning." Simpson finishes before he dismisses you.

You storm out of his office and head to the locker rooms to shower and change.

Once you're clean, you jump in your car and speed over to the Hard Deck. You know Jake and the rest of the crew are probably over there.

You push your way in and find them in their usual corner.

You march right up to Jake, who looks only a little banged up and jerk the pool cue out of his hand.

"I hope you're fucking happy, Jacob. I'm grounded and on desk duty for the next six weeks because of you." You sneer at him.

"I wonder why? Oh, right, because you broke my fucking nose. Be glad that I talked to Cyclone and told him not to arrest you. Yet another reason you should be thanking me." Jake chuckles.

"You are such a fucking asshole Jacob Seresin. Do you get off on being such a god damn menace to the world? Like seriously, what is your fucking problem?" You yell at him.

"You. You're my fucking problem. And you lost the right to call me anything other than Hangman the minute you broke my nose." Jake sneers.

"Oh, I forgot you hated being called Jacob. You didn't seem to mind me calling you that when you were balls deep in me though, did you?" You click your tongue at him. The rest of the squad watches on, afraid to intervene.

Jake freezes, unsure how to respond. "I don't even know why I'm here. You don't care about anything I have to say. You've made that abundantly clear that you don't care about anyone other than yourself." You scream at him.

"I've spent a year and a half of my life hung up on you, hoping that one day you would change. I can't believe I let you string me along and waste my time." You spit.

"And you want to talk about how you're the reason I'm here. I'm the reason you're here, Jacob." You grit out.

"What are you talking about, Glow?" He demands.

"When the Navy was recalling people for this mission, they asked me first. They wanted me for the mission. I asked if I would be flying with you, and I was told they weren't taking pairs from squadrons. They were afraid that when it came down to it, the pairs would he more loyal to each other than to the success of the mission." You explain to him.

"I told them I couldn't fly with another pilot. I didn't trust anyone else in the box. They understood and moved on. Three days later, you tell me you're going back to Top Gun and flying a single seater. I was loyal to you, but you were more than happy to throw me under the bus and gallivant into the sunset on your own." You finish.

"Y/N, I—I had no idea." Jake breathes out, visibly softer than before.

"Of course you didn't. You didn't care to ask. So before you go and act like you did me some favor by having me transferred here, make sure you have all the facts straight, sweetheart. As soon as my desk duty is up, I am putting in a request to be transferred back to Lemoore. Hell, maybe I'll request somewhere on the East Coast, I don't care at this point, just so long as I can get the hell away from you!" You take a deep breath before turning on your heels and walking out of the near silent bar. Just before you leave, you yell over your shoulder. "Too bad I couldn't have knocked out a tooth, too!"

You let out a shakey breath when you make it to your car. You'd just pulled into your garage when you let the tears fall. Once you had composed yourself, you vowed that these would be the last ones you shed over Jake Seresin.

.............

Desk duty was the absolute worst. You hated pushing pencils and not being in the air. You hated it even more because Jake was stationed right across from you, and every day, you had to look at his stupid, no longer perfect face.

He was also the worst office-mate. He clicked and tapped pens, hummed too loud, slurped his coffee, and never sat still. Everything he did agitated you.

You did your best to bury yourself in the paperwork. Jake, however, spent most of his time trying to figure out how to apologize to you. How could he tell you that he was worried you would reject him? How could he face you and say that he'd been in love with you since the first moment he met you. How could he tell you that he couldn't bear the thought of flying without you?

He needed help, so he went to the one person he thought might be useful in this situation.

"Bob, how do I fix things with Glow?" Jake asked him one day after work.

"Bagman, please don't drag me into your drama." Bob sighed.

"Bob, please, I'm desperate." Jake pleaded with him.

Bob sighed. He knew he was going to regret this. "In my experience, when my wife and I get into a heated disagreement, a good romantic gesture goes a long way." Bob told him before leaving.

A romantic gesture? Jake could work with that.

While Jake was trying to win you back, you were trying to stay as far away from him as possible. You were currently at your house with Phoenix, pouring your heart out to her.

"So the two of you have been doing this for almost two years?" She asked you, shock all over her face.

"Yep." You replied, taking a sip of wine.

"It was fine at first, but then—my feelings got in the way. I tried to break it off. We said 'one last time,' more times than I care to count. A few weeks ago, I asked him to stay the night. I'd never asked him that before. He told me I would, but—he didn't." You breathe out.

"Do you love him?" Phoenix asked you. "I did. But he broke my heart. I let him break my heart. And the thing is, I'd take him back in a heartbeat. I'm not strong enough to tell him no." You sighed.

"Do you want to take him back?" Phoenix pressed.

"I just want him to care about me the way I care about him. But I know, even if he did, he'd never admit it. He's too stubborn. Plus, we could never go back to the way we were before." You admit to her.

"So, what are you going to do?" Phoenix asks you.

"I'm going to transfer. I can't be around him. I can't let myself be hurt by him again. He made his feelings clear. And I have to accept that." You tell her.

"I've already let the admirals know. In three weeks, when my suspension is up, I'll be able to go back to Lemoore. Got the papers today. My old captain said a spot is mine if I want it. All I have to do is sign them and turn them in." You say. She nods her head.

"You know you don't have to go, Glow." Phoenix tries to reason with you.

"I do, Nix. I've spent so long putting other people first. I have to take care of me." You assure her.

"Well, I guess we'd better make a bunch of memories these next three weeks then." She laughs. "I know everyone is at the Hard Deck right now. Want to go?" She asks you.

"No, I don't think that is a good idea. Plus, I have some packing to do anyway." You tell her. She hugs you before she leaves. You hang your head and turn to the pile of boxes in the corner of the room. You grab an empty one and begin to fill it. A few tears slip down your cheeks. You really didn't think you would be doing this again, packing up your life. You thought this would be your last station. But, life never goes according to plan.

..............

"Bagman!" Phoenix shouts at him as soon as she enters the Hard Deck. "Why must you yell Phoenix? My nose is already broken. Are you trying to bust my ear drums, too?" Jake groans. Natasha doesn't respond. She flicks Jake on the tip of his nose and grabs him by the ear before dragging him to a bar stool and forcing him to sit.

"Nat, what the fuck is your problem?" He asks her.

"My problem? Try what the fuck is your problem!" Phoenix tells at him.

Jake looks at her with confused eyes.

"Glow is leaving." She tells him. The rest of the squad had gathered around to see what was going on. Murmers that echoed the news Natasha had just given them swirled around the group.

"Glow isn't leaving. She was just mad and said that to be mean." Jake shrugs.

"No, she meant it. I saw her papers with my own eyes. She said she talked to your old captain and he said she could come back. All she has to do is sign her request papers and turn them in to Simpson for it to be finalized. She leaves in three weeks. She's already started to pack. Glow was being serious when she said that." Phoenix explains to him.

The blood drains from Jake's face.

"No, she has to be kidding. She can't leave." He stands up abruptly.

"She said she can't keep being around you. That it hurts too much because you'll never care about her the way she cares about you. She told me she had to put herself first for once." Nat tells him.

"But I do care about her. I've always cared about her." Jake defends himself.

"No, you don't, Jake. Not the way she deserves. You don't hurt the people you care about. You don't take them for granted." Phoenix tells him.

Jake wants to argue with her, but he knows that Natasha is right.

"I have to go talk to her. Right now." Jake exclaims before slamming some bills on the bar and running to his truck.

Think dark clouds hang in the air. By the time Jake makes it to your house, rain is pouring down.

He jumps out of his truck and runs to your door and pounds on the wood with his fist. It seems like he spends an eternity waiting for you to answer.

"Jake?" You say when you open the door. He moves to come in, but you block his way.

"What are you doing here?" You ask him. You take in the sight him him, out of breath and drenched from head to toe.

"Are you really leaving? Phoenix says you're leaving in three weeks. Please tell me she's lying." He gasps.

"She's not. I got my papers today." You tell him.

"Glow. Y/N, you can't leave. You can't leave me." Jake says, a sob threatening to crack his voice.

"Why not, Jake? You left me. You left me over and over again. It's my turn to do the leaving." You say. You see the hurt flash across his eyes.

"Y/N—I— please. What can I say? What can I do to get you to stay?" Jake pleads with you.

"Nothing. I've made up my mind. You should leave. It's late." You say as you try to close your door. He wedges his foot to stop it.

"Y/N, please. I'm begging you. Please don't go. Give me another chance. Let me make this right. Please, Y/N. I love you. I can't lose you." Jake begs. Tears streak his face and mix with the rain drops.

"Oh, Jake. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. But it's too little, too late. In case you forgot, this was what you wanted." You tell him.

"But—" He protests.

"All you had to do was stay, Jake. I wasn't asking you to wake up the next day and confess your undying love for me. You broke my trust, you broke my heart, and you broke me." You told him.

"Glow—" He reached for you.

"Stop, Jake. You made your choice, and now you have to live with it. Now, please, get off my porch." You said as you shut the door in his face, leaving him standing there in the rain.

Jake stood there in silence, staring at your door, rain pelting his skin.

He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the wood.

"Glow, please. Please open the door." He begged you.

He waited, praying you would open in and tell him you had changed your mind. But as the seconds went by, he realized that your door wasn't going to open back up.

After accepting his fate, Jake walked back to his truck. He climbed in and sat the silence and shivered from the chill that was setting in.

Never in a million years could he imagine losing you. You brought so much warmth and light to his life, and now that he could feel it fading away, he knew he had to do something—and he needed to do it fast.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!

Taglist: @thedroneranger @roosterscock @shanimallina87 @desert-fern @teacupsandtopgun @mayhemmanaged @lovinglyeternal @lovingbradshawafterdark @wkndwlff @roosterforme @daggerspare-standingby @dakotakazansky @startrekfangirl2233 @hecate-steps-on-me @cassiemitchell @na-ta-sh-aa @milestellerlover @katieshook02 @mak-32 @je-suis-prest-rachel @soulmates8 @ohgodnotagainn @diorrfairy @eli2447 @xoxabs88xox @potato-girl99981 @djs8891 @roosterbruiser @roosters-girl @sebsxphia @roostette @rosiahills22 @dempy @olliepig @seresinsweetie @linkpk88 @my-obsession-spn @eternalsams @callsign-magnolia

#cherrycola27 #top gun maverick #top gun #tgm #hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman top gun #hangman smut #hangman x reader #lt. jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin smut #jake seresin #tgm fanfiction #tgm fic #tgm smut #afterglow

[welcome-to-hell-ya-gucks]

more FNaF hcs because the tism™️ is telling me to info dump

sorry if some of these are the same as the last one I forget which ones I put before 🙁

-When Mike was chasing after the car he tripped scraped his knee broke his ankle and busted his kneecap and just gave up on life right then and there

-Mike smokes weed but he could take the tiniest tinniest hit of a bong and he’d cough up a lung so he just mainly sticks to blunts or bowls

-Abby has called 911 multiple times because she wanted to contact Vanessa but it obviously didn’t work. 

-Vanessa used to dye her hair fun colors but she can’t anymore cuz of her job but she wears colorful extensions 

-Abby’s therapist has tried so hard to hint at Mike that he should get an autism diagnosis because his sister has one and he still hasn’t picked up on it despite showing clear traits of autism 

-When golden Freddy and Abby left the cab he just handed Cory a piece of paper with ‘one million dollars’ scribbled on it in green crayon. Cory was to scared to say no he just was like “yeah ok sure” and then cried 

-Mike and Abby did not go to Aunt Janes funeral they instead went to Dave and Busters and played arcade games while their entire extended family blew up Mikes Nokia phone

-Aunt Jane was a “wine mom” and was in heavy denial of being an alcoholic 

-Abby really likes bugs and puts them in her pockets but Mike is terrified of bugs so he freaks out whenever he sees them crawling on her or in her laundry 

-Vanessa apologizes to people while arresting them

-The animatronics consider the cupcake to be their puppy and get confused when people think he’s a menace

-One time Doug ran into Mike and Abby at Walmart once and he just threw his thick ass lawyer wallet at then then ran away to have a panic attack. Mike and Abby bought a blow up pool that day

-Doug had to go to therapy due to Aunt Jane being an absolute fucking Karen

-Doug’s now a regular at Sparkys and is besties with Ness, he considers Ness “The son he never had”

-Bonnie kid (Jeremy) really liked Spider-Man

-Vanessa has a pitbull named Princess that she took home from an animal control call. (The dog is a fucking danger to society)

-Abby picked up on some 80s slang from the animatronics and now just says radical to everything 

-Max and her friends would be doing TikTok trends before TikTok was even a thing (stealing soap dispensers from public bathrooms, sticking pennies in electrical sockets ect)

-Vanessa is a Disney adult/hj

-There’s a rubix cube in the pizzeria that the animatronics have been trying to solve since they’ve been dead basically 

-Every night after Abby goes to bed Mike goes to the kitchen and eats shredded cheese by the handful. Abby caught him once and he cried.

-Mike is the type of person to ask those weird questions while watching movies, like: “If their underwater how are they drinking soda?”

-Mike would stuff all his emotions and feelings down till he bursts and it usually results in him locking himself in his room while having a panic attack

-Max was also a weed dealer so Mikes out of a babysitter and a plug. 

-Vanessa hates soda, loves tea tho

-Mike really likes the Care Bears and uses Abby as an excuse for liking it

-Ness uses those really cheesy pet names for Mike, some of them southern originated because I believe in southern Ness solidarity. Ex: Sweetie pie, Sugar, Doe

-Abby is really good at hide and seek but caused Mike a few panic attacks because of how well she hides

-After Freddy’s neither Mike or Abby could sleep without a nightlight so she lent Mike hers on the agreement she could sleep in his room with him. (He of course accepted)

-Mike: Where’s my Diet Coke?

Vanessa: Oh I threw it away, sodas not good for you.

Mike: Oh ok- WHAT.

-Abby still asks Mike to tie her shoes for her even though he already taught her how to tie them herself

-Mike has a very particular morning routine that he has to follow every morning and feels icky if it gets interrupted for any reason 

-Mike is more noise sensitive and Abby is more texture sensitive but Mike still hates certain textures (ex: olives)

-Mike has considered owning chickens and even went with Abby to look at little chicks but she soon started sneezing and feeling sick and that's when they found out she's allergic so that quickly got shut down

-Abby gives her stuffed animals lore and hierarchies and Ness is always asking her about it when her and Mike go into the diner

-Vanessa Has a very minimalist style not because she likes it but because she's scared of getting attached to anything she calls home which at times worries her when she's with Mike, Abby and Ness. This results in her sitting in bed, chewing on her lip thinking of constant escape plans and emergency exits in case her father ever returns, if something bad happens, etc.

-Mike likes seeing Abby draw him and pretends not to notice when she stares and tries to get the color of his shirt just right (he buys clothing in colors she has to make it easier)

-Abby is the type to point out cows and horses and will repeatedly kick Mike's seat even while he's driving until he acknowledges them

-Abby doesn’t understand why her and Mike can’t just print more money to make them rich and Mike has had to explain to to her 12837383838 times

-Ness is a theater kid (yeah if you didn’t see this coming I think you need glasses)

-Ness and Mike play lps with Abby, Abby explains all of her lps lore extensively and Ness listens to every bit of it while Mike is just like: “I love you both but wtf”

-Mike sometimes age regresses sometimes when put under pressure and Ness is literally the best caretaker ever (this one’s based on a Dreamtheory fic I read once and I fell in love with the idea)

-Ness and Mike call each other every night before going to sleep and once Mike forgot so he woke up the next morning to 300+ voicemails from Ness asking if he’s ok

okay that’s all i have for now I’ll post more later when i feel like it oki byeee 😘✌️

#securitywaiter #fnaf movie #fnaf #ness fnaf #mike fnaf #mike x ness #mike schmidt #ness the waiter #vanessa afton #abby schmidt #my headcanons #headcanon #I promise I’ll make more William hcs in part three

[jksprincess10]

Exile 4. Weakness

Summary: After Steve Murphy's unforgivable death in the never-ending fight against Pablo Escobar, Javier Peña finds himself stuck with a new partner. A girl that they brought from Miami. Smart, devastating, strong. Nothing he would have thought her to be. Their rivalry builds up to something intense, destructive. CW: canon violence, mentions of death, smoking and drinking, language, bullshitting my way through the Narcos plot, no y/n (3rd person), no physical and racial descriptions of the girl, eventual smut. 2000 words. Divider by @cafekitsune Masterlist for exile Notification blog

The next morning isn’t remotely pleasant. They’re both cranky and tired. Thankfully, the week is almost over.

“Had fun last night?” Javier asks as he parks at work. “You were loud.”

She thought she should lie. But she doesn’t. Maybe she’d finally get on Javi’s good side if she was honest.

“I didn’t. Poor guy could barely find the clitoris. I had to do all the work.”

He turns to her, intense eyes studying her through his ridiculous sunglasses. He drinks the sight of her in. Even when tired, she’s beautiful.

“Maybe you need a man who knows what he’s doing?”

“Please enlighten me, Agent Peña. Where should I find such an extraordinary and rare thing?” She rolls her eyes.

Javier wants to say he’s right there. He knows what he’s doing. He swallows and she watches the bob of his prominent Adam’s apple. She’s trying to forget what she thought about yesterday while she was trying to get off.

“That’s what I thought.” She sighs. “Look… I’m sorry for everything, last night. I won’t talk about it anymore.”

She takes his nod as acceptance. And they both go to work. Nate lingers around her desk and tries to make small talk while she fills out a report.

“Listen, boy, she’s not interested and she’s busy. Fuck off.”

The blond guy stares at him, before disappearing, almost running under Javier’s menacing gaze. She looks up from her paper. She didn’t expect her unpleasant coworker to defend her. But she knows better than to thank him.

“He probably thought this was something more... But I don’t want bad sex again.”

“Lesson two, don’t fuck your coworkers.” Javier winks and she gives him the middle finger.

She hears something unexpected. A low chuckle coming from Javier’s mouth. She can’t help but smile herself. The line is blurring between hating and liking him.

The last workdays before the weekend are uneventful. She takes a break from her coworker on the weekend and stays inside. She didn’t even want to see his face. He made her first week of work even more tiring than necessary. She calls her parents to reassure them, but that’s the most effort she did on the weekend.

The start of the following week is also slow. After the last incident, everything went quiet again. Until they have a new lead. One of Javier’s contacts said he had a sight on Gustavo, Pablo’s cousin, for a few weeks.

Every Thursday he would go to a crappy motel and meet up with the same girl, his mistress. It would be so easy to wait for him there and take him in. So, his contact joins them at a café – where she meets his contact, Carrillo. A policeman with a square face and a harsh expression.

“New recruit?” He asks as he shakes her hand.

“Yes, nice to meet you sir.” Her grasp is firm, and the man looks impressed. She doesn’t like that he talks to Javier like she’s not right there.

They plan everything with the help of the Columbian police. It gave them a good shot at getting him.

The mistress is tied and gagged expertly. She didn’t put up a fight, she was scared. They’re waiting for him inside. Javier, his new partner, and Carrillo. Police and DEA were waiting behind the building in case anything went bad.

Gustavo doesn’t resist his arrest. They bring him somewhere dark, somewhere she didn’t know about. Javier was watching his partner closely. Watching how she would react.

“Just stand by for the interrogation. It’s gonna get a bit brutal.” He whispers only for her to hear.

“I can stand it.”

Carrillo starts roughing him up immediately, punching Gustavo straight in the face. She can hear bones breaking, which makes her cringe. Javier stands in front of Escobar’s cousin.

“Dinos dónde está Pablo. (Tell us where Pablo is.)” The DEA agent orders calmly.

But Gustavo laughs, even though blood is pouring from his mouth.  Javier grabs him roughly by the shirt, the chair he’s tied to moving with him.

“No me estoy riendo. (I’m not laughing)” Groans Javier and Carrillo punches him again. More blood comes out.

She has her firearm out; in case anything goes bad. Her hand is shaking slightly. They try everything. Promise immunity, get him a visa. But he’s too loyal. The only thing they can do is… get rid of him. The threat doesn’t scare him. Carrillo’s men go for it, and Javier stands back to watch.

She can’t keep her eyes away from the gorefest. After a few punches, his face is a mass of blood, front teeth gone. He still won’t talk. So, they shoot him. Carrillo will take care of the rest.

She feels her stomach protesting at the sight, and she leaves the space they’re in to get some air. Javier gives Carrillo a courteous nod, before he follows her. She bends down and empties her stomach until there’s nothing left. Javier just waits. Watches with his cigarette lit.

“Are you sure you’re fit for this job?” He asks.

“Oh fuck off, Peña.” Her voice is raspy, and she feels light-headed, so she sits down. She hides her face between her hands.

“Come on, I’m bringing you home, princesa.”

“So, you can tell everyone I’m weak and make me lose my job?” She protests.

But he grabs her arm, and she doesn’t protest.

“Take the rest of the day off.” He orders.

Despite her protests, she finds herself back at home, while Javier goes back to work. She finds the strength to brush her teeth, but then she curls on her sofa in front of a stupid show she’s not really listening to. Even Riri senses that something’s wrong with her. The black cat jumps in her lap and curls itself on her stomach, purring loudly.

She loses track of time until she sees darkness through her window, and she hears a slow tap at her door.

“It’s me.” Javier announces.

“Ugh, go away.” She whines.

But her dumbass didn’t lock the door, of course. So, he comes in.

“You should’ve locked the door.”

She just groans in response and throws him a pillow that he intercepts.

“Are you coming to tell me that I’m losing my job?” she asks as she straightens up. He sits beside her. He’s so out of place here. Riri ran away as soon as she saw him, hissing on its way out.

“No… Didn’t tell the boss anything.”

She frowns and looks up at him. “Why the fuck? I thought you’d want to get rid of me.”

“I’m guessing it was your first time seeing something like this. So, I let it slide. Plus Steve… he had the same reaction the first time.”

She’s quiet. She wants to cry and hug him at the same time. But she doesn’t move. Javier looks at her and for the first time… he thinks she truly looks fragile. But for once, he doesn’t say it.

“How do you feel?” He asks.

“Why do you care?” She sighs as she gets up to get something from the kitchen.

“Answer me.” He follows behind her, persistent.

When she ignores him to take glasses from the cupboard, he grabs her wrist and turns her body around. She almost crashes into the softness of his chest, but she keeps her distance. She pulls her hand away from him.

“I feel terrible. I feel numb. And I’m still pissed at you because I don’t know why you treat me so fucking badly. So, excuse me if I’m not answering your questions, because I think that you don’t really care.”

He wants to shut her up with his lips, but instead, he shuts down. She fills two generous glasses of wine and hands him one, even though she just wants to throw it at him.

“You know it’s not my fault if he’s dead. I’m just trying to do my fucking job.” She adds after a long sip. “I wanted this job forever and you’re not gonna stop me, Javier.”

His name sounds beautiful but sinful in her mouth. He wants to take it away from her.

“You’re right.”

Javier drinks too. Wine wasn’t his favorite, but he wouldn’t try to piss her off even more. Silence is heavy for a few minutes, but finally, he says:

“I hope you’re ready for the boss’s birthday party on Saturday at work.”

“Wait, you’re telling me this now?”

“Think it should take your mind off things for a bit.”

“But I have nothing to wear.”

“Then, wear nothing.” He shrugs. She wants to wipe that smirk off his stupid face.

“Ugh. Are you going?”

“Yeah.”

“Another fucking reason not to go, then.”

“You should come.”

“I’ll think about it.”

She drinks the rest of her wine, and he watches as the crimson liquid tints her lips. “You should get a good night’s sleep; cause you’re coming back tomorrow morning. I’m dragging your ass to work if I have to, princesa.”

“Fine.”

“Go to sleep now.” He takes the glass from her and pulls her away from the kitchen. She ignores the way electricity shoots through her skin at his warm touch. He drags her to her bedroom – their apartment is set the same way. He scoffs at the cheesy décor.

“Let me change! Go away!” She pushes him away.

“Well, since I’m hearing your whole sex life already…” She closes the door in his face, and he just laughs sincerely.

“I could say the same thing.”

She changes into her pajamas: a loose T-shirt and shorts before she opens the door on Javier. She wonders why he’s still here. If he really cares.

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re sleeping.” He crosses his arms. She doesn’t miss the way the sleeves of his shirt struggle under the strength of his biceps.

“That’s creepy.” Her body slides under the covers regardless of his presence. “Leave.” She throws a pillow at him, and he finally gets the memo.

“See you tomorrow.”

She finally hears the door closing and she knows he’s truly gone. She tries to fall asleep, and when she does, she’s shaken by the memories of the bloodbath. She tries to wash away the blood, she tries to think of Javier’s laugh. His stupid smirk.

She was fucking damned. 

#exile #javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena narcos #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier pena x oc #javier pena x foc

[skrunklybf-archived]

bad influence!

pairing: step-brother!connie x reader x jean

warnings: dark content! step-cest! smut! mdni!!! maybe ooc?

tags: mfm threesome, dubcon(?), smoking weed, they're all high it's whatever, step-cest, unprotected sex, creampie, doggystyle, blowjob, swallowing, praise, pet names, almost getting caught, not proofread

notes: hi i'm not dead 🤪 take this connie/jean smut as a peace offering mayhaps?? reblogs are appreciated as always xoxo love you stay safe

"I know you have shit in here, so you better share or I'm snitching."

You raise your gaze from the game on your phone to the young men inviting themselves into your room. Jean leans back against the door and closes it with a soft click, much softer than the threat Connie entered with. You cock a brow, unamused.

"What?"

"You know what."

Connie, despite the faux menacing look he gives you, emits the familiar air of playfulness he's known for. He crosses the space between your door and your bed in record speed, diving for the little table next to your head. Dexterous hands scavenge through the drawers and ignore the annoyed protests you shoot at him.

"Dude, fuck off!"

"You fuck off," Connie dodges your swatting hands and plucks a tie-dye colored jar from the bottom drawer, "holding out on your poor, misfortunate brother. You should be ashamed of yourself." It'd be a surprise if you couldn't see the your own brain with how hard your eyes rolled themselves back.

Your step-mom had been adamant about Connie staying clean after a rather hilarious call she received from him at three in the morning, begging her to come pick him up from the side of the road. He'd gotten away with just a warning from a "generous" officer that night, meanwhile you had gotten plenty to make fun of him for and his mom gained a bargaining chip she'd been putting to good use. The house had never been more bleach-and-lemon scented.

"Oh, boo hoo," you fake cry, jutting your bottom lip out in a pouty fashion, "maybe don't get pulled over with your dumbass friends next time, Con."

"Hey," Jean pipes up from his stationary position at the door, seemingly offended but grinning all the while. Connie tosses the jar from hand to hand casually, trying to ignore the big doe eyes you shoot him in your little mockery scene. "Not my fault Sasha drives like a menace," he replies, twisting open the lid and taking a deep sniff of the flowery contents. Lost in an overdramatized state of bliss, he fails to notice you sitting up and snatching your weed jar right out of his hand. Connie whines at the loss. "C'mon, just smoke us up one time." he begs much like a puppy, even going so far as to clasp his hands together in a cartoony fashion.

Your lip twitches.

"Just me and Jean," he continues, "Sasha's on house arrest until further notice. Her dad was pretty pissed, won't let her leave."

A conniving and dark chuckle surprises your step-brother and his oddly quiet friend, coming straight from your chest. The little jar suddenly feels so heavy in your hand, weighed down like a giant golden poker chip. "So, you come to me in your time of need," you slur out dramatically, "on the day of my daughter's wedding--"

"Alright alright, cut the shit, you're weirding me out. What do you want? I already have to clean the damn house for two months."

Connie almost looks nervous before you, switching his weight between his feet. This is a strange sight for you; he's usually boisterous, carefree, charismatic. You pull your feet up to sit criss-cross on the bed. A thoughtful look passes over your face. "You gotta walk Scout--"

"Done."

"Okay, fiend, I wasn't done."

"Whatever you want, I don't caaaaare. Just smoke with us."

Jean was easy to forget about in the moment, sitting as a hopeful but cautious observer a ways away. You blink at him, off-color thoughts dripping into your sleepy brain like a shoddy faucet.

"Fine. Garage."

Okay, so maybe your mind wasn't pure and fluffy and wholesome, and maybe some would label you a dog for these fleeting thoughts that came to you in the strangest moments. Maybe you shouldn't be feeling that heavy, burning sensation in the pit of your belly when your step-brother takes an unnecessarily strong drag off the blunt, bathing his face in an orangey glow from the cherry. Connie always had a fresh face, a contagious grin that got to you in ways that it most likely shouldn't have, given your relationship.

Well, technically, your parents relationship -- one that began right as Connie was starting his freshman year of college -- but still.

He passes the blunt up to Jean in the passenger's seat, who had easily won the race you declared on the way to your car. "First hand on the hood gets the front seat," you announced, and the young men scrambled over each other like excited puppies to slap your poor Honda in victory.

Jean takes a normal, sane hit, pinching his bronze eyes closed to avoid the flying smoke. It almost feels mesmerizing watching these two through the haze. Invisible green hands relax your face into a look of contentment, massaging away any irritation Connie had sparked by interrupting your game. Behind you, your step-brother coughs into his fist dramatically, heaving out a big sigh once his lungs quit their spasming.

"You seriously saved the day," he says, letting his cheek rest against the side of your headrest. If you turned enough, your noses would touch. Amused, you take the blunt from Jean, quietly admiring how his long fingers hold the wrap so delicately.

"I'd say we owe you, but you're kinda evil, so I'll just say thank you," the brunette beside you adds. His voice has dipped low and gravely since you all started hotboxing, reaching a baritone that leaves your heart hammering.

"Evil? Wow," you reply flatly, "I feel the gratitude in waves."

Connie smacks Jean lightly on the cheek while you take your puff. "What he means is, your genius is only surpassed by the world's most prolific professors," he says in a much-too-serious tone, "like, y'know, Hannibal Lecter, or like, Dr. Evil."

Pulling up a leg to rest in your seat, you snort in laughter, thick white smoke billowing out from your nose.

"Thanks, Con."

"No problem, babe."

Jean guffaws before you can. "Did you just call her babe?"

Connie, golden eyes wide, throws himself back into the backseat. He waves his hand flippantly, as if he could bat away the subject. "What? No, shut up."

You and Jean whip yourselves around at the same time, shoulders pressed against one another. "You totally did." You tease, smirk wide on your face.

Connie melts into the dark fabric. A heavy warmth surges over his face. "I just, y'know, I'm usually a gentleman and I smoke girls up," he runs a hand through his short hair, "slip of the tongue."

Jean snorts, letting his gaze slide over to you in his peripheral. "And then you compare her to the girls you fuck. Interesting."

Your shared laughter embarrasses Connie more than it irks him, sending his hands flying up to scrub over his face. In a show of mercy, you pass the blunt back to the poor boy, fending for his life all alone in the back of the car. Connie pinches the wrap and suddenly smirks toward his friend, charged and ready. "Jean, I could end your entire career right now."

Curious, you lean back some and look at Jean next. He pauses, switching a suspicious gaze between you both.

"I dunno what you're talking about."

"Oh, bullshit! How many times have I caught you staring at her ass?"

Shock formed your mouth into a tiny 'o' first but unbridled amusement twists it into a devilish grin. "Is that so?" You nudge a finger harshly into Jean's bicep. The young man swats your hand away and shoots his friend a glare. Connie's cackling jumps around the cars walls, spurring your own laughter to bubble out and making Jean roll his eyes.

Wiping faux tears, you watch Jean snatch the blunt from Connie and take a pouty puff, his jaw tense. "Not sure how to take in this information, honestly. Who knew both of you weirdos wanted to fuck me?" You twist back around to lean properly against your seat. A victorious glow radiates from your warmed face, neck, chest -- even if it was all jokes, the idea sits heavy in your mind and lower belly.

"I think you're the weirdo for being so psyched about it." Connie says from behind, his usually chirpy voice dragging low, like he'd just woken up from a long nap. A few quick puffs burn the blunt to your fingertips and you pinch it out with freshly licked fingers.

"I don't hear either of you denying it." You chime, dropping the roach into your cup holder to deal with later. Jean, still awkwardly turned in his seat, looks back at Connie, and there's a moment of quiet that you get lost in, brain and body fuzzy from your high.

Inside the car, a sheen of smoke blankets over you three and beads sweat over your skin. The warmth feels more comforting than suffocating. Swirls of white and gray are barely illuminated by the dim blue nightlight inside the garage. It feels dreamy, almost ethereal in a strange way.

Jean pulls you back into the moment when he runs a large hand through his hair. He's relaxed into the seat, long legs cocked out enough that his knee threatens to knock into your hand on the center console. Connie leans forward, resting a hot hand over your shoulder. "It's hot as fuck in here, let's go inside."

"Alright, yeah. You guys go, I'm gonna park outside and air this baby out before heading in."

Connie squeezes your shoulder and all but rolls out of the backseat, stretching his legs and arms out like a sleepy kitten. Jean hesitates opening his own door beside you. He clears his throat. "Just so you know, I stare at your face too," his voice is quiet, like he doesn't want Connie to hear, and you quirk your brow at him curiously. He sputters for a second, "y'know, not just your ass. I mean, it's nice -- you have a nice ass. But like, that's not all that's nice. Your -- you --"

You cut him off with a giggle. "I'm glad you think my face is nice, Jean."

The low light was just enough to see the goofy grin grow over his face before he slid out, joining his friend at the door leading inside. Connie bumps into him playfully and the two stooges shuffle off, leaving you all alone in the smoky blue garage.

Heading in, you expect to spy the two raiding the fridge, or perhaps even locked away in Connie's room playing games. Instead, you find two men in your room, lazing around like they own the place. Connie sits in your computer chair, his slippered feet propped up onto a bare spot on your desk, while Jean sits at the foot of your bed, leaned back on both palms. Only Jean looks at you once you enter, his bronze gaze only slightly sleepy as it rolls over your form.

"Oh, hello," you quip, hand hovering over the doorknob. For some reason, it feels like you intruded on them, versus them plundering your room. Connie, in his stretched out position, nods too casually in your direction. A little bit of his stomach peeks out from under his shirt -- you can see the waistband of his boxers, stretching around the V shaped muscles that disappear under his sweats.

"Let's watch a movie." Connie reaches toward a few figurines you keep beside your monitor, itching to busy his hands with something or another. You look between the two, wondering if there's something you're missing -- but ultimately, you shrug, closing the door behind you.

Twenty minutes into a Marvel movie you've seen a thousand times, there's two hands on your thighs and not a single thought in your brain. Jean, on your right, squeezes gently every few moments, and the pressure feels so warm and comforting -- Connie, on the other side, swipes his thumb in a mesmerizing half moon, leaving tingles in its wake. Their skin is hot against your own.

The coyness surrounding you all is nearly suffocating. You want so badly to acknowledge the growing sense of want, of need in your center, but all you can do is stretch your legs out and lean back against the wall.

Connie lets his pinky fiddle with the hem of your shorts, between your legs. As small as the action is, it still draws a tiny gasp from you, something that doesn't go unnoticed by anybody. He glances over, a little smirk on his face. "Weirdo." he mumbles, but takes it as a good sign. His hand glides upward just the tiniest bit, spread wide and gripping at the soft flesh more eagerly. Jean follows suit, watching curiously as he trails his own hand upward, slipping a few fingers under your shorts and dangerously close to touching your panties.

Your legs react on their own. Knees bending, they butterfly out, allowing the men more access. There's no use in thinking any of it over; Jean has a hand on the side of your face, gently urging you over to look at him, and Connie messes with the crease where your thigh meets your pelvis before you can make any internal argument about it. Looking up at the brunette, you feel so vulnerable, a far cry from the cocky attitude you held in the car earlier. He smiles down at you, drinking you up, savoring the doe-eyes and the way your lips part when he leans in.

Lips slotted together, it feels effortless to kiss Jean, but it takes all your willpower not to gasp into his mouth when Connie retracts his hand, only to press directly over your clothed center. The heel of his palm digs into your clit through the thin layers of fabric, purposeful and direct, and he uses a finger to press between your folds. You end up losing the battle, but only partly, letting a little whimper loose against Jean's surprisingly soft lips. He slowly licks into your mouth and raises his hand to rest over your lower belly, dipping under your shirt to smooth over the warmed skin.

Your eyes are closed, body alight with so many exciting sensations you're not sure what to focus on. Regaining a moment of sense, you can feel yourself reaching for both of them, settling on their legs at your sides. It grounds you, anchors you, but it doesn't last long. Connie's chuckle sounds out beside you. "You're wet," he says, nudging your shorts aside to urge a finger against your underwear. "I can feel it through your panties."

Breaking away from Jean, the urge to pant and catch your breath is as tempting as it is embarrassing. You glance at Connie, looking at you like a hungry wolf, and slide your hands over both of their laps, somehow surprised to be met with strained fabric. "You're one to talk." You reply, gripping the noticeable bulges beneath your palms. Both of them utter a sort of groan, stretching themselves out to allow better access. Connie's dickprint could clearly be seen through his sweats, strapped to his thigh by a pair of boxer briefs, but Jean's dick laid more concealed beneath his dark jeans, the rigid fabric keeping you from getting a whole hand around him. You wonder for a moment how different their dicks looked -- how different they would feel, bare against your hand, your tongue, even stretching you out.

The clothes come off in a sort of frenzy, confidence blooming in your chest once the men were down to their underwear with their cocks begging to be freed. Suddenly, you lost the shy feeling of toeing around what you all wanted. You found your voice.

Straddling Jean's hips backwards, you face Connie, holding onto the brunette's strong thighs for balance. Jean teases his dick through your folds and gasps when you grind against him, brushing his head over your needy clit. Before you, at the foot of the bed, Connie leans back, legs spread so he can jerk off comfortably to the sight in front of him. Your eyes follow his movements -- working up the veiny shaft until dollops of pre ooze out from his flushed tip.

Jean's hands shift from groping and massaging your ass to gripping the supple meat of your hips, rocking you up and down as you slide your pussy over his cock. Arousal leaking, you're so wet he could slip right inside, given a good enough angle -- but he lets you move whichever way you want to, lets his eyes roll back with a groan.

"You wanna watch me fuck your best friend, Con?" You ask sweetly, voice tinted far too innocently for the hungry way you look down at him, splayed open on your mattress. Connie flicks his wrist, caught between watching your cunt work around Jean's dick and watching your face, such a sly smile crawling over your warmed cheeks. "Gonna watch me ride him stupid?"

Beneath you, Jean's hips twitch. His fingers dig into you with more urgency, a deep groan leaking from his chest. "Hold on, baby. Be a good boy for me." You coo, reaching down to cup his balls and press his cock flush against your wet lips. Shockwaves pulse through your body when you rub your clit against the silky smooth skin of his dickhead. Little moans spill out from your lips, urging both of the men on in their own motions; Jean bucks up into your hold, Connie grips his cock more fervently.

"You sound so fucking pretty like this," Jean utters from behind you, and Connie grunts, adding, "you look so pretty like this. Wanna see you all filled up."

Pleased, you lift your hips and align Jean's long dick with your entrance. It takes a moment for you to ease down all the way. A delightful burn shoots up your center, working to stretch around his meat and accommodate to his size, but you feel so full, so satisfied once he's buried inside you. His dick curves just the perfect way to hit the right spot deep inside your cunt.

"Oh, fuck," you mutter once you're pelvis to pelvis.

"Feels good?" Connie squeezes his tip, smearing more pre over himself. Eyes sliding shut, you nod eagerly and rock your hips, drinking in every gasp and moan that Jean offers so generously from beneath you. For a few moments you simply scoot and rock, massaging that spot and working up a tight coil in your belly. With the motions your body leans forward, providing Jean with the perfect view of your ass and Connie with the jiggle of your tits. Wet, lewd sounds slip into the space between you all, making the moment feel all too real.

"That's it, baby, take what you need," Jean smooths a hand up your curved spine. His heels dig into the mattress so he can press harder into your core.

Connie watches you start to bounce, a look of utter bliss washing over your face, and groans with every broken little moan you breathe out. He jerks into his fist in time with Jean's half hip thrusts. He can be patient, he can wait, he tells himself; no matter how he feels about Jean fucking you, the view and symphony you've selflessly provided him were more than enough to have every ounce of blood rush from his brain straight to his dick.

"Kiss, k-kiss me, Con," you mewl out, your breathing already growing heavy. The man jumps onto his knees and crawls forward, so eager to hold your jaw in one hand and give you exactly what you asked for. The kiss is sloppy, messy and wet, tongues sliding around each other without much direction, but it feels like exactly what you need, adding fuel to the flame in your core.

Connie slicks his hand up and down his shaft while he tongues you, eyes shut and abs squeezing tight. So many new experiences tonight, so little time to process them -- the thought of a threesome with Jean wasn't too out of left field, but the fact that you were smack in the middle of it was almost crazy enough to make him question if this was all a long, wet dream, one that would leave him sticky yet unsatisfied when he woke.

"You take me so fucking good," Jean grips your ass cheeks roughly, spreading them to take in the view of his cock sliding in and out of you with such ease. The desk lamp catches your arousal in a glimmer, leaking out and into the smearing of dark brunette hair around his pelvis. "Shit, so fucking good."

The praise makes you melt and stutter your bouncing, mewling into Connie's mouth and choosing to rock yourself back and forth to gain composure, but it's a fruitless effort. Pulling away from his mouth, an involuntary cry rips from your throat and that pressure inside mounts to an unbearable edge.

"F-Fuck, fuck fuck fuck--"

"Oh shit, are you cumming already?" Connie's eyes grow wide, looking down at you like a world wonder. He drops his hand from your face to grope at your tits, smoothing over the pert nipples and pinching them lightly to make you gasp.

Jean takes control. He holds onto you like you'd rocket off into space without him and hammers upward into your spasming cunt, jaw tensed as you milk him, your mouth dropped open in a silent cry. "God, fuck -- yeah, she is. C'mon baby, cum on my cock," he pleads more than commands, voice almost lost against the lewd slapping sounds coming from between you. The orgasm feels nearly shocking, crashing over you from head to toe and bathing your entire body in sparks and a deep, burning heat. Silken walls squeeze and shake, much like your hands, which grasp onto Connie's strong forearm to keep you from simply falling over in the peak of your pleasure.

The most you can offer is little squeaks as the wave dies down. You feel a little lightheaded and let out a shaky exhale, eyes fluttering open to meet those of your step-brother -- his gaze feels impossibly heavy as it flicks over your face. He licks his lips and offers a sly grin. "You're so fucking pretty." Connie says lowly. An almost ditzy smile flashes his way and you close the minimal space between your faces, catching his lips in another kiss.

Jean slows his movements to more purposeful, deep thrusts, and relaxes his grip, but rolls his head back into the pillow and utters a deep groan. "Where -- Where d'you want me? M'close," he breathes.

You break away from Connie, who whines a little, but watches you closely. Jelly-like legs work with you to unmount Jean and twist around so that you can take him into your mouth, propping your ass up into the air in front of Connie, almost like an offering. Jean watches you with half lidded eyes. His cock looks even bigger with your hand wrapped around it -- wetness and a little thick cream coat his bare, flushed skin, which you lick up in long strokes of the tongue. He pulses under your touch, eagerly lifting his hips to meet your lips as you kiss over his sensitive skin.

The brunette curses under his breath when you meet the heated eye-contact, smiling coyly before sliding his meat between your lips, suckling him and flicking your hot tongue over his frenulum.

Connie, behind you, eyes his friend's undoing, watches as Jean grips the pastel sheets beneath him with strong hands. Your ass dangles so teasingly in front of him, darkened shapes in the form of fingerprints ghost around your plump skin from where Jean held you just moments before.

He never thought himself to be possessive, but watching you impale yourself to the point of cumming over Jean's cock and licking up the delicious mess you made without so much as touching his own needy prick sparked something in Connie, a strange, primal sort of urge that drives his hips forward on their own. His hands grip at your hips and draw a surprised hum from your busy mouth, but the way you wiggle your ass in reply is enough to bring a grin back to his face. Your thighs are still slicked with your own cum and arousal, your hole flutters around nothing as he spreads your cheeks and peers at the mess you made.

Connie marvels at the way your supple skin feels cupped in his hands, so soft and smooth under his touch. He nudges his leaking tip against your center, rubbing up and down through your lips and gathering up wetness to spread over himself. "This okay, baby?" he asks smoothly, leaning over you to speak closer to your ear. With a mouth full, you nod and press back against him, gasping when the motion pushes just a little of his fat tip into you.

Jean locks eyes with Connie for a moment. The novelty of the situation hasn't worn off yet -- they share a few seconds of raised brows and near drunken grins before Connie presses into you with a firm and concise thrust. Vibrations from your rather deep and needy moan flutter around Jean's cock and immediately push him right up to the edge, rolling his eyes back as his stomach muscles grow taut. Cockhead pressed against the back of your throat, Jean gasps out the neediest sound he's made all night, "fuck, 'm cumming, 'm-- aah," his legs shake as he releases his load straight down your throat. You moan around him, sucking and flicking your tongue over the underside of his pulsing dick, resisting the urge to gag and gathering pinprick tears across your waterline.

Connie waits, already filling you to the brim, rubbing his hands over your hips soothingly. The room feels hotter and thicker than ever before -- Jean pants at the head of the bed, lids heavy as he gazes down and watches you lick up wayward spit strands from his throbbing dick. "Holy shit," the brunette breathes. "Holy shit. Thank you."

A little giggle spills out from your swollen, plump lips, and you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. "You don't need to tha-- ah, ah, fuck!"

Connie snaps his hips to and fro, urging you forward and back with the motions. He slides so easily in and out of your cunt. Straight pornographic sounds punctuate the stuffy room and he throws his head back with a long, purposeful groan, settling his thumbs into the little indents above your ass like perfect riding handles. His cockhead pushes and presses inside you. There's some muddled emotion behind these thrusts, so strong and sharp in contrast with the rather bubbly persona you knew Connie to hold.

Jean sits up onto his elbows, watching your tits sway and jump with his friends motions. "Bring her over here, Connie," he jerks his head at an angle and beckons you up the bed. Connie, after a few more thrusts, obliges, though his brow is furrowed in a rare look of concentration as you two shuffle up, still locked together in a slick hold.

You find yourself between them both yet again, your mouth uncoordinated in all your post-orgasm-slash-pre-orgasm haze. Jean doesn't seem to mind -- he lazily kisses over your cheeks, your jaw, licking trails up the column of your throat as you hover over him with shaky arms. Connie ruts into you at a pace that surprises you, drawing louder and louder moans with every slap his balls deliver to your throbbing pussy. "Y'love it, don't you?" He groans, "you love taking your step-brother's cock, don't you, pretty girl?"

With a hot mouth sucking little bruises over your neck, you utter a little cry, eyes pinching shut as your cunt flutters around Connie's dick.

"Yes, yes yes yes," you manage, "fuck me, give me more, fuck-- Connie--"

"You close already? Hold on for me, baby, wait for me."

At the command, you find yourself clenching your thighs together, whimpering when Jean absolutely pushes you in the other direction by tweaking and pinching your nipples between his fingers. The brunette grins against your flushed skin. He flicks the sensitive nubs playfully, biting down on your shoulder and sucking hard enough that there'd surely be a big blooming bruise the next morning. Desperate whines greet both mens ears as your cunt drools recklessly between your legs.

"Please, please Con, need'ta cum," you beg. "Please let me cum--"

Groaning, Connie watches the ripple of plump flesh that accompanies every thrust. His mouth drops open before he can think through what he says next: "Gonna let me cum inside?"

Your hole clenches around him on its own accord. "C-Cum inside?"

"Mhm," he rolls with it, too lost in his building orgasm to care anymore, "gonna let me fill you up baby?"

Of course, it's all talk straight from a thoughtless brain -- he'd finish wherever you wanted him to. But if he didn't at least try, he'd be kicking himself for the foreseeable future.

Jean eyes his friend over your shoulder, but kisses a trail up to the shell of your ear, where he breathes hot waves over you. "Good girls leave no mess," he coaxes, making you shiver.

The coil in your belly is strung impossibly tight. Right at the edge, ready to plummet for the second time that night, you whimper and grasp for Jean, digging your nails into his arms. You feel a release, a dam breaking deep in your core, sending a dizzying wave washing over you yet again.

"Cum in me," it almost comes out as a whisper, "please c-cum in me, Connie."

And it's music to Connie's ears, sending goosebumps over his sweat-slicked body. He needs no more than a few more pumps before your swollen, twitching walls milk the cum out of his cock, squeezing him so tight he utters a moan one might label as pathetic -- but he couldn't care less, tilting his head back and burying himself as deep as he could to shoot his load against your abused cervix. Jean peppers light kisses over your face, to the corner of your mouth, hung wide in another fit of pleasure.

The delicate smoothing of Connie's hands over your lower back, the soft hum from Jean beneath you, it all lulls you into a state of exhaustion you weren't sure you were capable of staying awake for.

After a moment, Connie pulls out, eyeing the cum mixture that threatens to drip out of your twitching hole with wonder. "Holy shit," he says quietly, voice nearly cracking.

Holy shit. There's no train of thought to be found for the rest of the night, even as all three of you re-dress and bid Jean goodnight an hour later -- he gives you a kiss, feather light and unsure as it lays at the corner of your mouth, but you don't mind in the slightest -- and, as you pad to up to your room once again, a creaking door startles you straight out of your still-tingly skin.

How in the fuck had you forgotten, or, perhaps your horny brain simply ignored, that your parents were sleeping just down the hall?

The tired, bleary face you know to belong to Connie's mom searches for you in the darkness. "Everything okay?" she asks, voice rocky, as if she'd just woken up. The hammering in your chest rings in your ears as you nod. "Was that Connie? And Jean?" she continues, looking you up and down for a moment.

Panic washes over you. Sure, you're a grown woman, you're certain both parental figures know you have a sex life -- but the pure taboo of the night doesn't escape you.

So, you sputter out the only excuse you can scrounge up in the moment. A half-truth, to save your conscience, and maybe even save Connie's grounded ass in the process.

"Jean came over, but not for Connie. He's been in his room." You say quietly, nervous fingers fiddling with the hem of your shorts -- too reminiscent of how your step-brother played with them earlier in the night.

A moment of silence passes between you two, before your step-mother hums to break it. "He's nice, that Jean boy. Sometimes I think Connie's a bit of a bad influence." And with that, she wishes you goodnight, and closes her door once again.

Retreating to the relative safety of your room, you shove yourself under the covers and heave a heavy sigh. There's no time to think over the potential consequences of your actions before there's a figure clicking the door shut behind them. Connie traverses the space confidently, as if it's his own room he's crossing, and doesn't even ask before crawling into bed next to you.

There's no fight in you, even if you had the energy for it. Jumbled, disorganized thoughts drift in and out of your mind as he snuggles into your side, his bare chest hot but comforting.

Connie, a bad influence?

He presses a lazy kiss into your hair.

Maybe, but you're no better.

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #connie x reader #jean x reader #connie springer #jean kirstein #dark content #stepcest #step-cest

[gaybroons]

Talk Hockey To Me

( @ghostgeno's tag game)

The thing that got you hooked on hockey

Started reading “hey now, you're an all star (get your game on, go play)” by @buckyismybicycle while it was ongoing because even though I was 1) completely uninterested in hockey and 2) also uninterested in Stucky as a ship, this specific author’s works have always been phenomenal and with each new chapter email I started getting more and more intrigued until I eventually gave in and started reading it (literally so worth it everyone should read it). In the end notes of each chapter, HR (the author) would add some fun facts and extra context for the hockey related stuff (considering it’s a whole hockey AU) that made me go “huh that sounds fun” more than once but I was still not super into the hockey thing.

Until. 

I reached the chapter with a beautifully written match and I was like???? Is hockey like this irl?????????? This sounds so good?????????? Cue YouTube hacking into my brain and suggesting me hockey compilations which included the infamous Lick. I saw this random man just being a menace to everyone and decided he is now the love of my life.  (i usually omit the stucky fic part bc ppl have opinions about marvel that i do not want to hear lol. so if i told you abt this before without the full context i'm sorry!!)

Your first ever fandom friend

@hard4softthings !!!! Love is stored in the ao3 comment section uwu 

The jersey you would most like to own

I can’t pick one so I’m just gonna list in descending order: Marchand home jersey (with a C !!!!!!!!😤) ,  Pasternak (also home. Sorry it’s just nicer than the away version) , Quinn Hughes (the pride one because I’m obsessed with the design it’s so pretty) 

YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

The rat king himself 🖤💛🖤💛🖤 can u tell I have a favorite 

A pairing that deserves more fic

Sid/Ovi ‼️ tuukks/pasta and Brady/Quinn too, there’s just so much potential for them. 

Your favourite on-ice moment

Picking is difficult so you’re just gonna get a bunch <3.

Bertuzzi stealing cousin’s stick and trying to break it

Marchy kidnapping The Child

pigeon

dancing with the stars

tuukks Exhibiting homicidal tendencies (rightfully so)

flower wanting to feel included

whole team under arrest

Brady Tkachuk: why is there a fucking animal loose on the ice he’s going to give me rabies

marchy waving to a booing crowd

marchy blowing kisses to a booing crowd

flower asserting his dominance tripping TWO first round picks

Quinn Hughes seeing a fight break out and says ✨no✨

Marner spinning like a ballerina

+ link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

ART: 

this ADORABLE mcdrai art by @saviorified

MattMcDrai art by @adelphenium , obsessed with the blushing and the HAIR plz it’s so cute.  

Awfully pretty sid and geno art by @ceanspam

Captaincy transfer by @adelphenium I’m so weak for rat marchy, and ALSO bergy’s eyes <33333 i’m so <33333

the kiss of life by @stillfertile

FICS: 

The “All Caps” series by @makeit-takeit rewired my brain I’ve reread it countless times i think i can recite it by heart. 

“hard to be soft, tough to be tender” The Hanahaki fic by @hardforsoftthings I love love love the emotional progression AND denial in both of these fics (also, horny. Thank u) 

speaking of which, in less emotionally charged and more horny fics, the “spit cup” and “scratch that itch” non-traditional omegaverse doulogy by @ whitchbhitch (i do not know their tumblr)

+ link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

I’m honestly really proud of my flowertalbo fic, “Inevitably you will burn (as all living things do)” it’s really short (646 words) but I think I did a good job on it :>

Also, I find myself coming back to this one McDrai crack fic, “Oh Puck No!” idk what possessed me to write it but I had fun with it and i still find it silly and enjoyable lol

no pressure tags: @lindholmline @darkangel0410 @gilliebee @owchar1ie and anyone else who wanna do this!!!

#tag game #i'm not sure about the etiquette of tagging people i'm not familiar with but. yea #hope y'all don't mind <3

[clavissionary-position]

ɪ ᴋ ᴇ ᴍ ᴇ ɴ ᴠ ᴀ ᴍ ᴘ ɪ ʀ ᴇ 😱🌙 Night of the Living Maroron 🌙😱

STARRING the silly little residents of Comte's silly little mansion

(a crack fic I wrote a year ago based on a prompt from a friend (and spiritually combined with a prompt from a different crack fic that I received from someone else), neither of which I've ever posted before)

"Okay, Brush, you're good to go." Vincent fixes the cap on his pet raccoon's head and then gives him a little kiss right on the Pizza Hut logo. "Remember to drive within the speed-limit."

You stand next to Vincent and thread your hands with his as you watch the rodent shyly hop onto the driver's seat of the carriage. He adjusts his seat and starts up the horses before peeking out through the window and presenting an affluent little smile.

Vincent sheds a few happy tears as Brush drives off. "I'm so proud of him."

You give Vincent a powerful, soul-crushing side-hug and massage his painterly shoulder muscles. "You did good, Vin. You did good."

He wipes his snot on his sleeves. "We just got really lucky that Jean was willing to teach him how to drive a carriage."

You blink a few times. "Sorry, who taught Brush how to...?"

"Jean was really generous. I should finish that painting he commissioned of the macarons wearing lingerie."

You try to process the vowels and bullshit coming out of Vincent's innocent mouth. "Vincent. Jean doesn't know how to drive."

"Hmm? He doesn't?"

You shake your head. "No! He doesn't! We have to stop Brush before-"

- - -

"You were run over by a raccoon driving a carriage?"

"Insofar as a raccoon posed on top of a carriage with a tiny rapier pointed forward in menace can be said to be 'driving,' yes." Shakespeare frowns. "Am I going to die?"

Charles puts his medical equipment back into his bag and takes out a single band-aid with Vlad's face on it. "Just put this where it hurts and you should be okay."

"Aren't you going to apply it for me at least?"

"I would but your insurance doesn't cover it." He rises to his feet. "But it does cover this." He gives Shakespeare three pats on the head. "Good night, Sweet Prince."

"It's afternoon."

"It's night somewhere." And with a terrifyingly innocent laugh, Charles gets into this carriage to return to his master's castle.

- - -

Napoleon sets up a command center in the dining room. Theo makes calls to all of his connections. Isaac bites his lip with nerdy concern.

"My sources say that a rogue raccoon was spotted here, here, and..." Theo sets down the last pancake. "Here."

"Theo, I can't see anything on the map. Please move your pancakes."

"You've got glasses, Arthur. Use them."

"Oh right. I keep forgetting my glasses have the unique ability to see through breakfast foods. Why didn't I think of that? Silly me. Such a novel invention is wasted on one of mininiscule intelligence such as I." Arthur puts on his glasses. "By Jove, it's as if I can see not simply through pancakes, but through the whole of the universe. Everything is at my fingertips now. Reality is mine to command. What will become of me now that I have unlocked such horrifying potential? How will the annals of space and time shift under the sway of my weighty influence?"

"...."

Arthur takes his glasses off. "I'm serious, I think I just became a god. Look." He points at Comte's baguette and an invisible force of energy ripples out from the tip of his finger, making the baguette scream as it jumps out of Comte's embrace, grabs Dazai's hand and pulls him out of the room.

Napoleon and Theo stare at each other. "....What the.... fuck... just happened?"

Arthur looks down at his quivering hands. "I am a monster."

- - -

Sebastian tackles Jean into the water. "BATH TIME MONSIEUR D'ARC."

"Sebas!? What are you doing?!"

"You are under bath-arrest for attempting to teach a raccoon how to drive."

Jean freezes. "Wait, that thing was a raccoon?"

"INDEED IT WAS." Sebastian releases several rubber ducks into the water. "Strawberry or coconut-lime body wash?"

"Maroron."

"That is not a flavor."

"No, there's a maroron standing behind you."

"Standing? How can a maroron possibly be standing-"

- - -

Leonardo awakens from his nap to the sound of a sentient baguette pulling Dazai into the library.

"Good morning." Dazai waves with his free hand. "Have you met my new wife? What's that, darling? You don't want me flaunting our relationship in public? It makes you shy? I have crumbs on my face from kissing you?"

Leonardo turns around and goes back to sleep.

- - -

"Why did you point at the macoron?!" You stare at Arthur in disbelief.

Arthur shrugs. "I wanted to double-check my powers! Like Vlad!"

Comte picks himself up from being slapped by a sentient maroron. "Are ya winnin' son?"

- - -

Vlad climbs in through your window just as the sun begins to set. Faust climbs in after him.

"I told you once, Faust. I can't give you any blood samples today because I didn't eat any strawberries today." Vlad throws himself on your bed and pulls out a paperback driving manual. "Interesting... it says that driving with a rapier can help with drag forces..."

Faust stands beside the bed and prepares his syringe anyway. "Science can't wait for you to consume strawberries."

"And neither can I."

"Right, neither can this fully-sentient maca... Oh shi-- NO NONONONO--"

- - -

Mozart shuts his piano down with the tell-tale Windows Sound. "Good work today, Wolf. You still got it. Masterpieces out the ass like a fart at Thanksgiving." He chuckles at his own lewd joke, for his enjoyment only.

Then exits into the hallway where his chuckle dies in his throat.

The tiny maroron rolls to a stop in front of his boot.

Mozart screams.

- - -

Brush returns home after his first day as a pizza delivery pet to the mansion completely abandoned, save for a single ominous note scrawled on a crepe: "God Have Mercy on Our"

"Oh, mad libs is fun," says Brush, as he completes the sentence with the word 'Testicles.'

#ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp charles #ikevamp faust #ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire fanfic

[gingersp1ce547]

ok it’s jojoever i have brainrot now i need to assign stands to every qsmp eggs

ramon : Killer Queen - bombs + cat what more do i need to say

Chayanne : Pearl Jam - Just making extremely good food

Tallulah : Hermit Purple - Thorns design that reminds of Rose

Leo : Purple Haze - Color matches + rabid dog vibes

Sunny : Emerald green - using jewels to fight is perfect for her

Empanada : Paisley Park - don’t have an explanation, em just gives me yasuho vibes

Pepito : Bohemian Rhapsody - go make spider-man real king

Dapper : Gold experience - gruesomely killing your enemies with your knowledge of living creatures is such a dapper thing

Pomme : Sex Pistols - go my little sniper queen

Richas : Heaven’s door - Perfect for an artist with a taste for fofoca

Dude i saw the word sex pistols in the context of stands my brain went “part 5? PART 5!” Like a dog hearing its name being called so im more than happy to brain rot with you bout all of this!

-killer queen is so perfect for ramon. If he had it during the election arc, fit would have to have stopped him form making foolish a speck of ash on the floor after he arrested tazercraft

-chays fits so well from a symbolic, “stands are a reflection of ones soul” perspective too. Like even though he’s a warrior, at heart he the main thing he cares about is taking care of his family though both physical protection and just general wellbeing. Such a good pick for him

-Hermit purple is such a good pick with tallulah. Im imagining phil sighing as he pulls out another camera for her to destroy before they eventually start having super cheap ones on hand for that exact purpose

-Listen i see purple haze for leo, i get it i can see the vision. But my fugo loving brain refuses to let go of what purple haze means for him as a stand symbolically and wants to give it to q!cellbit EVEN THOUGH WERE ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE EGGS.

Anyways in context of only assigning stands to the eggs 100% i think she should get out purple haze, but if were talking about everyone i also think born this way would be a really good fit for her and i cant quite explain why outside of the vibes just mathcing in my head

-sunny would so be besties with emerald green. Like tubbo would have to not only give sunny stuff but also it. I can totally see her giving it a nickname and its own room and stuff

-Your so right about empanda having yasuho vibes. Something about the crypticness of the power of paisley park coupled with all the shit both the characters have been though mashes really well together

- Bohemian rhapsody is so fucking funny for pepito. Especially because like idk if youve ever read any jojo’s fanfics but theirs this really good one called chimera were long story short the ascended version of dio from eyes over heaven goes to another universe and just fucks with the dio their by basically forcing him on a part jumping self-betterment arc? Anyways during it the author had the reason ungalo’s life became so shit was because he accidentally used his stand to make the story of holes come true with him acting as the main character and now every tine i think about that stand i cant not think of that.

But anyways him and roier would abuse the fuck out of his stand and it would in fact be hilarious

-As a giorno lover, dapper is so giorno coded. He would be so fucking unstoppable with that stand even without it being its requiem version. I can so see him using it to fuck with his dad for funnsies too.

-Pomme would be so sweet to the pistols too, she would make sure they get the best treats. I think at first she would struggle with keeping them in line but with etoiles help she would be the perfect balance of stern and sweet.

-richas with heavens door would be the absolute worst. Like the biggest menace ever. He would use it on his parents to make it so they could never give him a bath again and then they would have to find a work around for what doesnt count as bath but still technically got him clean until their able to convince him to reverse it.

#qsmp #gingersp1ce547 #jo-qsmp-jo #<- the tag i have decided for all of these posts #pommunist tag

[squeiky]

Go tired of seeing "old hedgehog" designs of sonic and shadow with them just having greyed out quills and decided to do something about it

So yeah qpr sonadow (yeah shadow is 50+ fucking finally. Im considering giving him a cane. An asthetic or an actual one idk. Maybe both?)

Sonic grew his quills out (wanted a kind of longhair rockstar kinda hair thing idk if i achiebed i though. Also still unsure on what he'd wear so i just slapped on his sa2 beach costume and added sandals (and possibly socks).

(Oh and there a scar from the Mephiles blast on his stomach- as well as top surgery scars because of course he had top surgery its sonic)

(Oh and also the "old lady swagger" sonic is just him crossdessing/going lady mode because he always rocks the look )

Shadow styled/shortend his quills and i put him in a nice black collared sweater. He wears glasses because my guy has eye problems

(Btw. Im horrible at telling ppls ages so if they dont feel old then idk what to tell you guys i have no idea what aging is at this point)

Then, instead of simply making old yaoi i ended up getting obbessed (and happy) and started making everyone old

So next up was amy and Blaze. (Silver is here too)

I think theyre a little bit on the younger side of the old yaoi? I did consider the fact that some people age differently (some look older whilst others look younger) so Amy and Silver got the more "youthful-ish" complexion whilst Blaze and Espio got the more older one.

Thoughhh im still working on their design. I can always make older old lady Amy (now that i think about it i should 100% make Amy a granny looking buff woman because i feel like thats beautiful)

Either way amy and Blaze kept their uh.. "hair" short. Amy still wears supergirly clothes and Blaze wears more masculine type clothes nothing else.

Next is espilver

You cant sue me for making Silver a short king menace to society.

Not really much on design so far other than Silver is way more plump (pearshaped) now because life got better, and Espio is taller because what is he if not a tree?

Ask them how they met? It was at bowling. Why bowling? Its because thats less weird then "was investigating the multiple crimes husbando commited and ended up getting said yet-to-be husbando arrested, but after he got out we totally fucked"

Yeah

Oh, and because i couldnt choose, Espio is trans AND intersex! Yeah!

Also Amy is silvers ex (Silver has like.. 2 exes... Possibly more?)

And then theres everyone else who arent a "ship" persay:

So i call this the moreso young adult group with Tails, Charmy, Ray and Cream.

Tails (in college) and Charmy (not in college) obviously hang out and play videogames.

Cream, because when she was little she didnt get invited to fight deadlt monsters, grew up, and decided shes going to fight deadlt monsters. So i tried to make her a cool suit but idk.. it needs reworking cause the whole "secret agent" vibe works! But not the way i like.

Rouge is forever foxynand will continue to be the most attractive woman on planet earth no matter what age. Shes also still a meance to socitey and we will forever love the jewel thief (old) woman.

Knuckles doesnt cut his quills so those shits are LONG hes also old as well but idk what he'd wear

And yes Metal (also Chaos) is here too. Metal is a bit rusty (literally) but overall well kept and fancy. I think eggman would be dead by now, so i gave it a crown on its ears to symbolize how it took over i guess.

OKAY SHIPKIDS:

Blaze x Amy ( bio kid): Flare (was thinking "Spark" because of the love idea but idk yet)

Espio x Silver (bio-kid): Greybell

And then heres the fun part:

So Sonic and Shadow dont function like the others here, in that- while saving the world and whatnot, every so often they'd either find a kid following them (similarly to Amy and Tails back in the days) or save a kid during their whole adventure.

The first time this happened was just Luca (a black jaguar) who followed Sonic during one his little solo adventures and Sonic was like "do you have parents i can take u back too" and she was like "nah" so of course, after seriously looking for her parents through ppl with database accesses like tails and rouge, he was like "u wanna stay with me?" And Luca was like "YEAH!"

And then Sonic called Shadow like "Shadow do u want kids" and which he replied "what?" And then suddenly they adopted Luca. This is how it began.

Eventually, as one grew up, theyd find another, and then another and then well now they have like 11 kids in total.

Now, after ALL of this, they took a break and after that years worth of a break were like "wanna make a kid? Like for the challenge of having to that from scratch"

And sonic was like "what?"

So they hit up the labs and made a bio kid who is 2 months old and is the most hectic fucking thing theyve ever had to deal with so thanks for the prior 10 experinces (alas they do not compare to the mega menace)

#sonadow #espilver #blazamy #rouge the bat #knuckles the echidna #tails the fox #cream the rabbit #charmy the bee #should i even tag ray? i drew like half of his body #eh #ray the flying squirrel #SHIT I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DRAW MIGHTY NOOOOOI #oldies au

[inventedfangirling]

ONLY FRIENDS EPISODE 8 LIVE REACTION POST

I AM SO SO NOT READY for raymew...more like im not ready to see Sand hurt but arggghhh lets goooo

ohno ray seems to have not been a great influence on mew

okay i LOVE how protective cheum seems over mew but hello where was all this love and concern for ray all this while like whats that about !??

my gawd First is so dang good in this scene with Khao not like im surprised but gawd the hurt is hurting and it is not one bit comfy but again nobody should expect messy gays the show to be a comfort watch lmao

OHMYGOD why is everybody so good at their jobs...we barely knew anything about plug and yo's relationship but was that scene IMPACFUL or what!!!

no matter how much mental torture this may offer, its great that we also have guaranteed quality performances like wow what a pleasure it is to watch them perform

i get that top seems to be very much in love with mew but him acting all holier than thou about smoking PLS bit rich coming from somebody who literally cheated on him like WOW yes mew TELL HIM

I ADORE TF OUTTA HIM BUT PLS NO NOT FIRST SINGING

my gawd ray getting on my nerves he's so selfish wanting to have both mew and sand and using his cuteness to get his way like excuse me who allowed you outta my pocket and into the world where you can hurt sand GET BACK IN HERE!

my gawd ray using all his perusasion moves and then some but sand standing his ground multiples times im SO PROUD OF HIM 🥹

ray did not just use orphans to get sand to agree like arrest him milord its too much!!

oh damn top approaching cheum for help, man clearly serious about his concern (pretty obvious/out there prediction based on how you think but mewtop endgame methinks :3)

okay papang's character CLEARLY has just work on his mind SURE completely his excited thirsty looks giving NOTHING away

STFU did i just see boston looking at a selfie of him and nick while drinking alone in a bar WOW did not think i'd have lived to see this day lmao

is it just me being too sandray biased or did raymew not have much chemistry in that library scene...the way ray said you look delectable felt mechanical sorta like its something he just read off a script in his head and not what he thought of right then...probably also due to it being early days together but also i did NOT hear ray say that he doesnt want a band anymore...i simply didnt hear it...it makes me feel NOTHING

why the fuck have all these people been invited these two self destructive boys have evidently NO clue in life...as expected i mean lol otherwise whats the fun in a show about a bunch of well adjusted adults with entirely healthy relationships lmao

STFU did mew just try coke NOMYGAWD this is gonna be such a train wreck of a party I CANNOT

gawd pretty boy ray (SO PRETTY but also)whipped af he's gonna hurt so so bad when he realises mew has been knowingly or unknowingly using him to get over or spite top

zjnsnsjs what was that laugh mew did when ray asked if cheum invited top...book looked so HOT and MY GAWDS TOP GUN TOP AHRJMSNANSKAKA

is ray thinking what im thinking?? that mew is showing more emotion in the past 1 minute than he did the entire time they were together and it was entirely directed at top!?

ahjansnnsjsjs mew you menace that was such a badass move im gonna forgive you for using ray and making out with him for a hot second cos WOW

sand nick moving on buddies CUUUTE if only the moving on was working out for either of them 🤧🤧

wow nick has got some guts walking upto ton like that after having secretly recorded him and ruined his friend group...im dyingggg at his (desperation dressed as ) confidence

not to get distracyed but that teeny glimpse of neo's forehead through his fringe making me wanna scream...he looks so so sooo goood argh WHY DO THEY COVER IT UP HUH FOR WHAT?? FREE THE FOREHEADS!!!

2 freddie mercury's making out at a halloweeen party...woulda been such an iconic moment...ray playing spoilsport boy you better get back in my pocket (THREAT)

AABNANAN RAY DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE DID MY GAWD HE'S SO!?????

When tf is ray gonna learn not to kiss people without their consent he making me madder and madder!?!?!

holy fucking shit sand's expression after ray said "you love me" !?????? im so devastated at that milli second of a reaction FIRST IS SO FXKING GOOD!??

"you're mine no matter what!????" um how DARE he!????

YES SAND GOOD ON YOU IM SO PROUD OF YOU ray you better count your days im coming for you😤😤😤😤

mew breaking up with top cos he cheated on him to be with ray who has "always" been faithful to him and this always faithful guy just decides to offer himself to his "fuckbuddy" and some other random dude from the party so easily?? gawd i feel bad for mew.

i know mew is going through hell and sorta acting out...but my gawd unhinged mew is so hot????? i feel like my brain is turning to mush everytime he does something wild

pls that bgm in the topmew scene...no matter how this scene ends...they have to be the endgame i really dont see a way around it

cheum deciding to draw boundaries and blaming ray for showing no concern for her and ruining things while the police are literally checking the room for drugs after having pinned ray down is just the sorta shiz the show promised and it has delivered so good i could scream into my pillow for hours

2 seconds...thats all it took for khao to make an impact with that scene...he's MAGIC i tell you

cheum and april should just run away together just for a while give themselves some peace of mind

pls the romcom music for topmew its driving me insane.....this was supposed to be my sandray WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG

sandnick cuties I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC ARGH...whether its kept as moving on partners or new found besties or even fwbs...i am full on supporting that shiz...sand deserves some fun too

cant believe boston was the least active character today...i almost have humane feelings towards him wow

sghahnsnznsjwjzjjsjsjsnjs omygod next episode preview ducking hell

Forget everything i said about sandnick and arresting ray and being mad at him...i am still mad but ahhh sandray my babies WE ARE SO BACKKKK....they better have a proper talk so ray can apologise and start off on a proper note or else imma lose it again but ahhhhhh i havent smiled at a preview in a loooong time fuckkk feeels goood😭😭😭

#only friends the series #sand x ray #only friends #i am SO NORMAL about this show

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

So… some ✨ inch resting people ✨ follow Emma on Instagram. Niecy Nash for example 👀 Lily Rose Depp. The fucking ACLU. Florence Pugh. Kinda trashy. I understand the whole “networking” part of the industry but like…. she is literally bottom-of-the-barrel. Why would you want to network with some lukewarm nepo baby actress? Isn’t her DV arrest commonly known? Or did her PR team work harder than Satan? Rich White women will literally skin a baby alive and people will be like “but she didn’t mean it uwu”. I hate Chris Brown for obvious reasons but next time he wants to roast Emma I am begging him to go harder.

i feel confident saying that the vast majority of people who know of emma don't know about the DV arrest at this point. unless you were involved in fandom, or keeping up with celebrity gossip, where the story was hot news.. it fizzled out super quick. because we didn't get a mugshot, a police report, or really anything beyond the generic PR statement and photos of emma crying in evan's arms.. it's mostly lost to time. evan has never spoken about it, emma hasn't either, so the story lost it's legs past the initial interest. now there's this strange dichotomy between emma the gif queen of bitchy characters, with a bad reputation as a spoiled and chaotic nepo baby (because there were plenty of gossip site appearances earlier in her career for drug use, public intoxication and terrible behavior towards people) and the new ''regularly cast in unimpactful romcoms'' emma who is a mom with a carefully curated instagram feed and sponsored posts - very influencer-esque. as you said, these are the perks of being a rich white woman with a famous last name.

i despise chris brown (sadly after being a huuuge fan as a teenager) but if he's not going to go away forever, the least he can do is be loudly right about something, which is that there is a clear double standard and it should be spoken about. the only difference between chris and emma is that chris has gotten caught multiple times and emma was not, because she is cushioned by a society that will never let her fall the way chris brown rightfully did. and if anyone wants to argue about how chris has gone on to lean into being a violent menace and it's not comparable, all i can say is that some of us remember the public apology tour chris brown had to go on after he beat rihanna. which was the least he could do, but something emma never has or will have to do despite the fact she is guilty of the same offense. chris brown basically had to pivot from being a crossover artist with major pop radio play, who was touted as the next michael jackson by critics, to doing whatever the hell he's doing now because the white general public by large doesn't fuck with him anymore. but some of the same people who would scream at you to delete chris brown's songs from your spotify playlist would get on twitter with their tiny violin to sob about how wrong it is for people attack poor liddle emma roberts for her DV arrest when she was CLEARLY also a victim. these sad, would-be social justice warriors going to bat for her will never realize she would bloody and bite their lowly peasant asses if they didn't let her cut the starbucks line if she could get away with it lmfao

also, to people who want to say we should all mind our business because evan stayed with emma, rihanna went back to chris brown multiple times and she even made little digs at his next girlfriend, karrueche... who he would later stalk and abuse just like he did her.

[marichive]

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐓

A compilation of things my muse and my friend’s muse have said to each other via wire rp. Most of these happened during sibling squabbles so there are a lot of insults. Change pronouns/etc. as necessary.

tw for drinking/alcohol mentions, violence mentions, other non-PG shenanigans.

❝ You started it! ❞

❝ SNITCH!!! ❞

❝ Play stupid games, win stupid prizes! ❞

❝ I may have fucked up. ❞

❝ Look. I’m sorry you got reamed out because of me. ❞

❝ That’s the only apology you’re getting. ❞

❝ Oh my god read the room I’m telling you to be careful. ❞

❝ I deserve to be at the Applebees fight and you know it! ❞

❝ Wanna kick someone’s ass for me? ❞

❝ I had to double check considering the Great Snitch Incident. ❞

❝ One minute you’re cool and the next minute it’s like you’re possessed. ❞

❝ TURN THE CAPSLOCK OFF YOU NUTCASE. ❞

❝ NO! FEEL MY CAPITALIZED WRATH! ❞

❝ Sometimes I yell just because I know it’ll make you yell back. ❞

❝ I’ll kill you! ❞

❝ It was a dare! And I didn’t even really kiss him! ❞

❝ It was just a peck! ❞

❝ Fuck. Please don’t kill me in my sleep. ❞

❝ Now I gotta go disinfect my boyfriend. ❞

❝ A dare is a dare and I’m not a bitch who backs down. ❞

❝ What are you? A fucking chicken? ❞

❝ I don’t think we could stop fighting if we tried. ❞

❝ Oh for sure next time I plan to kiss your boyfriend I’ll send you a text. ❞

❝ Let me rephrase. There should not be a next time. EVER. ❞

❝ I hope you have those condoms mom gave you. ❞

❝ Why are you the way that you are? ❞

❝ I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING !! ❞

❝ If you repeat this to anyone I’ll kill you. ❞

❝ I think I need girl advice for this. ❞

❝ [NAME] WHAT THE HELL !? ❞

❝ I might kill him. ❞

❝ If you murder my boyfriend I will do something worse than kick you in the dick. ❞

❝ He is being a menace! ❞

❝ What the fuck am I supposed to do about it!? ❞

❝ Put a leash and muzzle on him and call it a day! ❞

❝ You’re about to make it my problem, aren’t you? ❞

❝ I’m going on a Tex-Mex date and if you ruin that so help me god I will end you. ❞

❝ I’m pretty sure he was just fucking with you, birdbrain. ❞

❝ I just want to watch it happen. Brings me a special kind of joy. ❞

❝ You know exactly what I fucking meant. ❞

❝ I love annoying the shit out of you. Out of love. ❞

❝ We don’t know how to be stable. ❞

❝ ‘Stable’ sounds like something for horses. ❞

❝ I’m in it for the long haul. Don’t ever doubt that. ❞

❝ I’m pretty sure the universe will fuck me over in any way that it can. ❞

❝ I will continue existing as the rabid creature I am out of pure spite. But like, with better coping mechanisms and shit. ❞

❝ One week without boyfriend-on-brother violence would be really nice. ❞

❝ We’re halfway through the week and no signs of blood. Maybe we’ll make it. ❞

❝ Fuck I’m gonna die. ❞

❝ You’re not gonna die. Hopefully. ❞

❝ I’M SORRY I DON’T WANT YOU TO GET MURDERED! ❞

❝ Oh my god I’m dead. ❞

❝ Are you wasted? ❞

❝ You don’t need to be drunk alone in public. ❞

❝ Say NOTHING about last night. ❞

❝ Don’t taunt me or I’ll tell your nemesis. ❞

❝ You’re an evil little snake you know that? ❞

❝ YOU SOILED IT!!! ❞

❝ I’m gonna fight you. ❞

❝ In retrospect I may have made an impulsive decision. ❞

❝ Promise I won’t kick you in the dick this time. ❞

❝ Die, trash. ❞

❝ I need to make sure you’re safe, dipshit. ❞

❝ Tastes like depression. ❞

❝ Pay me! I want money! ❞

❝ Fuck inflation, am I right? ❞

❝ No no no you take that back! ❞

❝ You are a generous bird. I will give you the good corn for this. ❞

❝ The good corn??? ❞

❝ GIFT CORN! ❞

❝ I don’t make good decisions when I’m upset. ❞

❝ Is this secret mission going to end with me getting arrested? ❞

❝ How stupid do you think I am? ❞

❝ Do you want me to answer that? ❞

❝ I bet you picked [name] as your new girlfriend so you can feel tall for once. ❞

❝ Ok so don’t freak out. ❞

❝ That’s not comforting and now I am freaking out. ❞

❝ Fuck off with your pretentious taste buds. ❞

❝ Pinky promise me. ❞

❝ He deserves to be stabbed a little bit. Just a light stabbing. ❞

❝ He was on crack to put you in charge. ❞

❝ Oh am I supposed to NOT complain about getting thrown into a koi pond? ❞

❝ And you should have expected the dick kick that one time but I guess we’re both idiots. ❞

❝ Eat your snails and shut up. ❞

❝ Record it if it ends in a fistfight. ❞

❝ That implies I won’t be one of the people in the fistfight. ❞

❝ So I’m totally not going to be taken to a secondary location and murdered, right? ❞

❝ I’m a random burglar with good intentions. ❞

❝ Do not get him a bible I swear to god. ❞

❝ White chocolate bible? Can you eat the bible or is that sacrilege? ❞

❝ You’re far past sacrilege. ❞

❝ You gotta get over your feud with Taco Bell. ❞

❝ You ate a box of mini muffins in one sitting. ❞

❝ You’re a dumpster! ❞

❝ Well you’re a dumpster fire and that’s worse! ❞

❝ Bet you have rabies, bitch. ❞

❝ Your brain has E. Coli SHUT UP! ❞

❝ Congrats on being the tumor that your parents decided to keep and raise just because you were vaguely baby-shaped. ❞

❝ I hope you get flipped onto a thousand legos, bitch. ❞

❝ I WILL CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR OWN ARM !! ❞

❝ You fucking furry. ❞

❝ I’m not a furry you reptile bitch tit! ❞

❝ Fuck you, bird nipple. ❞

❝ Do you cawcaw on command? ❞

❝ That’s a sex joke by the way in case your dumbass didn’t catch it the first time. ❞

❝ What’s a metaphor? The choking or the furry behavior? ❞

❝ I will stab you with a fucking spoon. Yes, a spoon. ❞

❝ Good luck with that. I’m going to do something more productive, like frame you for a crime. ❞

❝ You test me every second you’re alive. ❞

❝ Bitch I’m gonna test you when I’m dead, too. My ghost is going to move everything in your room 2 1/3 inches to the left each day and annoy the shit out of you. ❞

❝ You’re exhausting. ❞

❝ Maybe you’re just a tired bitch. Drink some water and get more sleep or something damn. ❞

❝ I am not for the weak. ❞

❝ Get ducked. Fucked but yeah ducked too I guess. ❞

❝ Are you going to attack me with a duck or are YOU the duck? ❞

❝ Jokes on you the ducks are on my side. ❞

❝ What are your feelings on . . . slugs? ❞

❝ I’m just asking. For . . . reasons. ❞

❝ I swear to god if you get murked by a fucking almond I will fistfight you in hell. ❞

❝ You ARE a rash. ❞

❝ At least I don’t have to worry about getting taken out by nuts. ❞

❝ Not your best phrasing. ❞

❝ Oh for fucks sake. Choke on a nut. ❞

❝ You brought the children into this! It’s your fault! ❞

❝ Us? We’re perfect angels. Never done anything wrong ever. ❞

❝ I just embarrassed myself in front of Obi-Wan himself, I think I’m allowed to die now. ❞

❝ An ASS TAT? Disgusting. ❞

❝ Shut up tiddy tat, it’s cute. ❞

❝ I think you should trip and fall on your face. ❞

❝ My face is a national treasure. ❞

❝ Your face is a joke, actually. ❞

❝ No no, my LIFE is the joke. My face is actually pretty nice. ❞

❝ You know what? Fuck you. I have decided I’m going to be taller than you. ❞

❝ You’re one of the few people in my life I could never lose. I couldn’t take it. ❞

#[memes] #[memes ; mine] #[memes ; for muse] #[memes ; general] #[memes ; sentence]

[fandom-susceptible]

Supernatural Rewatch S1E6 Skin

Is the color balancing this bad for the whole series or is it just the site I'm watching it on? Everything's so washed out.

*wheezing* oh my god I forgot Sam being like "oh I'm an innocent college student just like you but Dean's totally a cop" to convince his friend Becky they could help. Like these two really just spout off the most insane stories about each other to strangers and the other one just rolls with it.

It hurts me watching Sam try so hard to maintain friendships outside of hunting and Dean be convinced he shouldn't. Because Dean couldn't.

The random leanings into animals being aware of the paranormal is kinda hilarious in this show with it being so inconsistent. Like right here, this one dog's aware of Shit Going Down with the murder. But this only comes up at random intervals.

"That's not like any camera flare I've ever seen" Sam says. Have you looked at much video, Sammy? It's. This is random eye shine.

Okay but fr what ARE they doing there at 5:30 in the morning? Also, can Sam stop bitch facing for two seconds and answer the question instead of dragging everything out?

What made them think the ambulance going by had anything to do with their case?? This is in a city. Ambulances go by all the time, unfortunately, for good reasons and bad.

Why do these two keep having conversations about their cases in broad daylight in public? It's a wonder they weren't caught more often than they were. Or were the cops just over there like "yk what we don't get paid to go after the crazies that we don't have a current crime connected to." Also why didn't they get in worlds of trouble opening a manhole cover, again in broad daylight on a busy city street right next to a crime scene?

Can Sam quit bitching and just acknowledge that Dean's right about the lying to his friends bit and how bad it can go?

Sam can't see shit apparently, and also can't aim.

Again, these two should be in worlds of trouble for fucking around with manholes in busy public areas.

Sam walking around trying real hard not to tip anybody off, meanwhile Dean just runs down the street with a gun in hand. How many times has he been arrested?

Ok props to Sam for calling the shapeshifter on his shit so quickly, but also be a little more decisive bro this is how we end up in shitty situations.

Jensen's acting is phenomenal. I also think it's interesting how the shapeshifter (from Dean's POV, speaking from Dean's memories) says "I know I'm a freak." The stress pattern there on just the first "I", as if it isn't that Sam's actually different - it's that Sam doesn't know, refuses to know, that he's also a freak. And it's that ignorance that lets him have that shot at a normal life, it's that ignorance that Dean's jealous of. Then we get into Dean's abandonment issues, straight into the deep end, the shapeshifter pretty much confirming that Dean's sluttiness is a substitute for the real connection he wants but isn't getting from anybody.

What the hell was the yell back there when she screamed, Jensen? It wasn't even like, a Menacing Roar noise, he just fuckin yelled the same way lmao, it's so funny

why is the makeup identical on every woman the shapeshifter's attacked this episode. I could swear every single one has had the bandage wrapped around the head, bruising on the cheeks, three lines of blood dripping down the right shoulder, hair caked in the same spot . . .

I remember the shapeshifting scene really hitting me in the creepy feelings the first time I watched this but this time I was just fascinated by how much Jensen's changed over the years. He packed on so much more muscle over the next four years alone.

They really just like tying these men up don't they? And Dean is so much more relaxed about it than Sam is, and there's so many fun headcanons you could pack into that. Is it angst? Was he just trained to it? Or does he just Like It?

"Did Jessica know?" "No, she didn't." Yeah, because you weren't. doing it then. Sam. "What can I do, it's my family" you're literally only back because you've got it out for Jessica's killer, it's still about you, mfer. Why do you try to pretend it's for Dean?

Do they ever go back to St. Louis? I could swear they do. Shouldn't it come up more that Dean's wanted for murder there? They had the one season where the FBI were hot on their tails but then the angels started getting involved and we suddenly got a whole lot less of the consequences of the boys' actions.

#supernatural #supernatural rewatch #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn s1 #supernatural skin #spn season 1 episode 6 #spn 1X06

[madebymandyla]

Baddie SMP Starters 4

the one with a lot of murder

"There's a menacing sign on my door."

"I don't want to hit you because I might kill you. Might also set you on fire."

"I think it was a prank on yourself. You looked like an idiot."

"That's always your excuse, that you're being attacked by phantoms."

"That's actually defamation, so. . ."

"Why does she say her own name like a Pokemon?"

"Me and my dog are going for a walk if anyone would like to join us."

"Part of my unfinished business is haunting [name]."

"It means a lot that he forgave me on your behalf."

"Finally, some fucking peace and quiet."

"You've gotta die to be reborn as a beautiful phoenix."

"If it wasn't for you dying, we wouldn't have half of the adventures we've had."

"Everything's hot, including Butterfree."

"We're gonna be shagging with my daddy tonight."

"Do you wanna live in one of those low-grade apartments or do you wanna live in a luxury high rise?

"I hear everything, but I'm not really understanding anything you're saying."

"You're on for lunch tomorrow, right? At the place?"

"This is the most suspicious behavior I have ever seen."

"I'm civilian arresting this guy."

"We've got no choice but to drown him."

"Your dick is out, you're pointing a bow and arrow at me, and you're getting mad at me?"

"You have an arrow in your butt, by the way."

"I'm pretty dumb when it comes to movies, so sometimes I miss what they're about."

"There's blood coming out of my eyes all of a sudden."

"If you're a chicken, you have to tell us."

"There's a sad, naked sheep in here."

"You should try eating it. It's really tasty."

"You're kind of ruining my whole fucking vibe right now."

"I would kill to live with your father."

"Let's just go kill a family of goats or something."

"I'll bring the purple drink, you bring yourself."

"The second everyone leaves the room, you're fucking dead."

"I can't help but shake to this."

"If you kill my cat, I will end you."

"You asked a question, I used my endless knowledge to fucking answer it."

"I guess we're a band of mourning fellows now."

"I'm pretty sure I can survive this fall."

"I was unjustly slain in my prime by someone I thought was my friend."

"Speak much, loser?"

"I kinda feel partially responsible for egging you on."

"That's some nice stuff. You could build some things with it."

"I actually have a really poor memory, so thank you for reminding me."

"I wouldn't call it a murder weapon."

"It's against my religion to eat things pretty much any time."

"She's either vomiting or becoming a zombie right now."

#sentence meme #sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #[ meme ]

[convenientalias]

I Rate Cdramas by Whump: Part 2

Two years ago now I made a post rating every cdrama I'd watched at the time by quality of whump. I feel I've watched enough cdramas since then that it is now time for a sequel.

(Note: If you like kdramas, I made two posts rating those by whump as well, for your reference.)

Some notes before I begin:

Yes this is entirely objective. What do you mean??

If the ratings seem a little high, it might be because whump is one of the things that convinces me to watch a show to begin with.

There will be spoilers, but vague spoilers.

I'm only listing shows I've completed and remember well enough to rate.

THE RATINGS.

Addicted Heroin--8/10. This is a gay school romance between surprise stepsiblings, it's not really meant to be whumpy. Despite this, it has some drunk and angsty scenes, some sick scenes, and even a kidnapping!! I would give it a 10/10 purely for going the distance it Did Not Need to Go (although the source material is even whumpier, but that's another story) but I feel I should be honest and say it is primarily a show of comedy, not over the top whump. The whump is definitely there though.

City of Streamer--I'd probably be more into the whump here if I was more into lady whump, as a lot of bad things happen to female characters, both physically and emotionally. Men go through distress but it's usually not as physical as I'd like. Since I'm very picky about lady whump and this show mostly doesn't hit the spot for me, I'll give it a 3/10.

Granting You a Dreamlike Life--10/10, Luo Fusheng's life sucks. People in this show get beat up, threatened with guns, stabbed, arrested, kidnapped, chased by wolves, trapped by an avalanche, literally shot.... "People" here mostly meaning Luo Fusheng but Tianying and some others get a good share of whump as well. Granting You a Dreamlike Life is living the dream.

Joy of Life--I really wanted to see Fan Xian get whumped but by halfway through the show I had to accept that it was more of a power fantasy type drama about Fan Xian being Clever and Competent. If you ever see me complaining about Joy of Life, know that this is a solid part of my sour grapes. 3/10, credit given to the Teng Zjing arc and the couple times Fan Xian gets captured or arrested.

Rattan--9/10. This show has two endings and I swear they did that specifically to deliver two different brands of whump/angst. But more importantly, they put poor Qin Fang through the fucking wringer! In the first fucking episode he gets drugged, arguably kidnapped, and almost dies in a car crash. Then the rest of the show he suffers from a curse, gets kidnapped, gets hurt so bad he falls into a coma.... They really do not go easy on this poor boy. Honorable mention to Si Teng's tragic backstory and Qin Fang's business partner also getting abducted that one time.

Reset--Ehhh the leads are going through it but they're mostly just getting tired. They do get arrested/interrogated a good deal, and die a whole lot. But I'd call this a suspenseful show, not a whumpy one. 2/10, rare nonwhumpy fave for me.

Sword Dynasty--I must begrudgingly admit they whumped the prince in this show pretty good, and they whumped the MC a lot too, I just hated him. This show is bad but I will admit it is moderately whumpy. A very begrudging 5/10.

Under the Skin--Level of whump maybe a bit higher than average for a crime procedural. Police officers being menaced is pretty standard, especially when one is an ~artistic genius~. Shen Yi sure does drown a lot, though, and the flashback revealing his reaction to Lei Yi Fei's death is really angsty. I'd give it a 6/10 bc my standards for thrillers are higher than my standards, for example, for a school drama like Addicted Heroin.

Weaving a Tale of Love--I said my taste in lady whump was picky and guess what, a cheerful crossdressing female lead getting whumped is in fact my taste. I loved seeing bad things happen to Liuli/Xiao Douzi! I would have been up for seeing her get drugged or imprisoned some more!! 7/10 bc while the whump is good when it's there, the majority of the show is cheerful, shippy, or plotty, and not really all that whumpy.

Winter Begonia--Whump is not what I go to Winter Begonia for. I go to it for the slice of life vibes, the slashiness, and the Chinese opera. But, as whump goes, it's actually quite strong. There are opera performers losing their voice, losing their ability to walk, losing their reputations, some even losing their lives. And then there's Cheng Fengtai, friendly and kind of shady businessman who has his own shit going on--most notably he goes into a coma at one point and also is once kidnapped by bandits. Honestly 8/10, I don't think of it as whumpy when looking back on it but objectively there is a lot.

Word of Honor--People are slowly dying with nails in their chest. People are mourning their lost loved ones and falling apart. And sometimes getting beaten up or captured in the present as well. 9/10, I could go higher but I always get a sense of restraint from this show. Even if the leads are pushed to the breaking point, it's not quite as gleeful about it as some others on this list; there's generally a sense of "fuck it, I've been through worse, I'm used to this", which doesn't quite push my buttons but may appeal a lot to other tastes. I could be convinced to give it a 10 though? Mixed feelings.

Xiang Long--The urge is to give this a 1000/10 but I'm a principled rater and cannot break my rating system! and yet! this show breaks my brain!! every day I have to get up and remember that Long Xiang shot his own subordinate in the head in an attempt to convince Bai Lusheng to quite a hunger strike and then proceeded to get mad at him for being passive aggressive while eating!!!! every day I go on living in this world. Fuck. He threw the dude's gun down a well, damn it! I will someday find a way to transmigrate into the world of Xiang Long and murder Long Xiang, but anyways: kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome and an abundance of Lima Syndrome, torture, people getting shot and whipped and blown up etc etc etc..... 10/10 bc I'm a principled person and will adhere to my rating system. If you watched this show for a reason other than whump, I'm not sure whether to fear or admire you, but you're stronger than me.

Some final notes:

I said in my last cdrama-whump-rating post that whump and serious drama do not correlate, but I've begun to think whump even flourishes MORE in a less serious/more over the top or tropey show. Xiang Long and Granting You a Dreamlike Life are great examples of this, as they both put melodrama over realism. Rattan and Addicted Heroin have a mostly light tone but can include some extreme whump without a tonal clash bc they aren't super serious about their whump either. In contrast, Reset and City of Streamer generally have a more grounded and suspenseful tone, and their whump level is low--even if people get hurt, it's rarely focused on. Meanwhile, Winter Begonia lies in a weird intersection of melodrama and tragic melancholy, and I think it's because it's whump tends to play more to the serious side of the show that in my head I'm always thinking of it more as angsty, less as whumpy. But maybe this is all due to how I classify whump rather than the inherent characteristics of whump in general. I'd be happy to hear anyone's thoughts!

#cdrama #cdramas #whump

[jinkicake]

I think the mean men are taking rotations in my head,,,, bc now it’s Lucifer turn😞😞 I heard this dude on Tiktok do like a seep voice thirst trap and I literally was weak in the knees!! Like I was imagining Lucifer behind me and I folded like origami 😭 like pls I was pulling for scara today🙂 but it was something like “ surely you don’t think your own fingers can bring you as much pleasure as I can? Imagine how deep inside you they could reach; you seem distracted should I assist?” And I was on the floor gasping for air bc he does have nice hands😩like honestly the 5”5 men have been dragging me so I forgot I had a size kink so this tall asf man letting me sit in his lap and I can lean I to him like a beanbag 😔💦 like he would talk directly into my eardrums and it would be over for me like if he really wanted mc to behave he could have just seduced me ngl Belphegor can stay up there🥰🥰 but also seeing that my beloved wanderer is not as easily aggravated as he was before is SO great bc I can be the one to agitate him🤭 like he’s trying to start his redemption arc snd not beat people up; but there’s me to annoy him every step of the way. 100 would steal the gnosis to give it back to him bc ik there not gunna give it to Ei and wtf is that little napkin flavor baby gunna do?? Shes on house arrest!! He’s bit evil so give it back!! Behaving like a menace for dick>>>> like if him or Lucifer aren’t under my tree wtf was Christmas for??

omgggggg.... i've been waiting for this for so long. I knew lucifer would make an appearance, I just had to be patient!

you need to forget those anemo clowns and get a real demon! not a 5'0 puppet!!!!! (heheh just kidding xiao, you're not a clown!) speaking of puppet, have you pulled scaramouche yet? how many wishes have you spent T T I LOVE his playstyle like WHy did they give him the ability to fly because he's now the best character like he's so damn fun

no literally like if lucifer showed me an ounce, a mere pinch, of affection then Belphie would have stayed up in the attic until I died likeeeeee i'll be lucifer's little snitch for my whole life! his good human! if that is what it takes for some lucifer cawk!

also yeah i dont hate his redemption arc (i cant believe im saying that) omg i saw a video of scara in someone's teapot and he's SO sweet, so kind. he is not helping my delusional yandere scara addiction likeeeee yes i want him to be nice and kind to me while still being a complete psycho to others </3 you can hide me away forever! you know what's best, scaramouche!

no bc i'll literally kick nahida's ass like send that little archon flying across the room so i can give the genosis back to scara... i don't want to see him cryingggg HSDIUFHADSIJ SHE IS A NAPKIN FLAVORED BABYYYYYFSDF LITERALLY

yeah i would act completely fucking dumb for lucifer cawk if that pleases him.... if that is what it will take to get him under my tree.... i want scara in my stocking!

[O.M.G. also... why have we NOT as a society (society being you and me LOL) talked about how good dilucs jpn va is. LIKE i was playing w him today bc i wanted to hear giorno and his va went to work like i kick my feet and giggle every time i do his burst andddd KAEYA TOOOOO like today i played JUST w kaeya and diluc to hear their vas...... it had my heart racing! their voices make them ten times hotter like omggg hottest characters in the game (itto and ayato-gaara look the other way]

#sarahandoikawatalkshit #sarahloveslucifer