#honestly I feel I’d be a delightful addition to most places

[taibhsearachd]

So I was musing to Mags about how somehow in the last few years, after being weirdly unapproachable (and really awkward with children) all my life, I am now often the person that single mothers will approach to take a family photo for them, or small children will abruptly hand their toys off to with no warning.

And then I realized (after a moment, because I rarely get to go out around people anymore except when my dad abducts me for a tiny vacation, so I don't have a lot of normal life to compare that to) that all those experiences actually happened in museums and aquariums and zoos, where I am not more outgoing but I am much brighter and smiling more than usual and almost always sharing random facts with my dad because infodumping is my love language...

And then I realized these people are approaching me because when I am in that specific environment, I am giving off very chill Ms. Frizzle vibes.

#personal post #okay to reblog #if someone could just hire me to share random facts at a museum or aquarium or whatever? #honestly I feel I’d be a delightful addition to most places #I can be Ms Frizzle any time I enter any of these places #IMAGINE IF I HAD TIME TO STUDY A SPECIFIC THING #I’ll do the wig and themed dress if you want tbh that sounds awesome #some museum or place of learning pls hire me #@montereybayaquarium looking at you #literally grew up there hire me as your chill non-kidnapping ms frizzle to share facts about the kelp forests #I’d be a lot less awkward with kids if it were socially acceptable for me to just share facts about sea urchins you know?

[lemeute]

it's been 700 years since I last wrote fic, but here's what I wrote for SpinningYarns in the @lesmisholidayexchange!! they asked for Enjolras, Combeferre, and Courfeyrac finding out someone they know was going to have a not-very-good Christmas and plotting to fix it, and I was thrilled to take a shot at that.

(the triumvirate was also thrilled for a chance to do some medium-stakes plotting. helping fix a real problem, but also the government will not try to put you in jail about it, and you can be a little silly with your friends? that's what holidays are for, right?!)

without further ado:

Bringing and Becoming (g, gen, 5.2k)

Feuilly's about to lose his job, but he's not worried about himself. He's worried about looking after all his coworkers when the business shuts down. Enjolras, Combeferre, and Courfeyrac are on the case.

Basics:

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Ships: Gen

Fandom: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

Relationships:

Combeferre & Courfeyrac & Enjolras (Les Misérables)

Combeferre & Feuilly (Les Misérables)

Enjolras & Cosette Fauchelevent

Additional Tags [Selected]:

Canon Era

In Which Feuilly Needs a Break

Class Issues

Hijinks & Shenanigans

Gender Shenanigans

Genderqueer Enjolras (or something like that? honestly read it however you like)

Improv Skills

“The fact is, Combeferre, that I will be fine,” [Feuilly] begins again—still weary, but with the air of someone counting well-stacked coins or packing a tidy bag. “I’m healthy enough these days; I’m young; I can paint fast as hell when I need to. I can find piecework until I get another place in an atelier. I have my own rooms, quiet so I can concentrate, good windows for light. My neighbors always have a fire so I’ll stay warm even if I don’t spend a sou on fuel. And I know I will get hired for a steady job again—like I said, I am fast, and I am one of the best painters in the shop, and I haven’t stirred up trouble at work in years. But not all my fellow workers can feel such assurance, and most of them are providing for more than themselves. Plus, it is not so big a matter if I work through the holiday, or do not have a festive meal, but with children that is hard. I know you’ll offer me money before I go home, and it’s not that I’m too proud to take it. But I’m not the one that needs it most, and I don’t know exactly who is.”

“You can hold onto it until you sort it out, then,” Combeferre says, “or you can start a pool, like a strike fund, while you work on the list. I trust your judgment and I don’t envy you the role—although if you’d find it helpful I’ll happily go with you on list-making visits, as a doctor or just as a friend.”

“That might help for a few people.” Feuilly reaches for his coffee mug again and finds it refilled, with a glass of brandy next to it. “Thank you for listening. I do think it would fortify me to do a little Greek, if you still have the time—and if you can stand to hear me attempt this new vocabulary while drinking?”

“Oh, I’d be delighted to hear that.” Combeferre grins. “But one last thing, Feuilly—are you sure you don’t want me trying to engineer some way to reverse all this?”

#les miserables #les mis fanfic #feuilly #enjolras #combeferre #les mis fic #lm tag

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 119 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting apples.

Oh, the opening of this episode is such a delight! I also like the colorful logo and the stage lights in the YouTube video!

I think this is one of the episodes with the most voices! 10 different VAs. Only MAG 158 reaches this count too, also 10 different VAs (MAG 92 is kinda up there as well, it's 11 characters, but since the additional characters are voiced by Alex and Hannah, it's only 8 VAs)

Also just realized, this is one of the shortest episodes. MAG 79 (also the second to last of a season) was 16:19, this one is 16:41.

JON: [disoriented] "Yes, yes, if you could, I’d – I’d value your input on it…" SARAH: "Tim." JON: "Yes, Tim. Tim." Still breaking our hearts, way to go...

BREEKON: "You don’t even know what a gun is." DAISY: "I don’t care." [SOUNDS OF GORE AND THE DELIVERYMEN GROANING IN SHOCK. DAISY BEGINS LAUGHING.] Yep. Take away the person and all that remains is the beast.

BASIRA: "Doesn’t matter. Names don’t matter. I just… I know – I know I’m me and I know I’m here." This...

NIKOLA:[unconvincingly] "Why, I’m…. Tim of course! Who else would I be?" JON: "You’re not. You’re not Tim." NIKOLA: "Oh, you caught me! I’m Sasha!" JON: "Shut up!" Regaining some clarity here. Enough to know that Nikola is not Tim and enough to still feel rage about Sasha.

JON: “I-I tried. I tried, I almost –” GERTRUDE!NIKOLA: “You almost what? You almost didn’t doom the world? No, you almost let reality be the plaything of a lazy, foolish voyeur. JON: “No, no – I would – I could have stopped them.” GERTRUDE!NIKOLA: “How? You didn’t even know what it was. Do you know how many people I killed to keep the world in one piece? The sacrifices I made, and you didn’t even know what you were fighting.” That slaps pretty well in knowledge of where all this is leading. Up until the end he never did know what fight he was actually fighting.

GERTRUDE!NIKOLA: "I fought for years to stop the Stranger in its tracks, you didn’t even notice when they desecrated my corpse. And now look at me. You’ve made me part of their ritual. This is your fault." JON: "It is not. It’s not, I didn’t know. It’s not my fault you died." LEITNER!NIKOLA: [distorted] "No, I suppose not. Me, on the other hand… that one is very much your fault." JON: [despairing] "No, not – not you as well…" Feeding the thought of being a failure. And feeding the guilt.

LEITNER!NIKOLA: "I hardly had the chance, did I? Before you left me to get my head bashed in. I understand, of course. You needed a cigarette? I suppose you should have remembered that smoking kills." [giggles] That joke was so obvious and I am so very happy it's in the show XD

LEITNER!NIKOLA "If our earlier conversation was anything to go by, I hardly think you can blame your faults on the ritual. Your problems go far deeper than that." JON: "Just – give me a moment, please." LEITNER!NIKOLA: "You think that would help? Honestly, if I wasn’t so dead I’d be impressed. I always thought my own hubris to be quite exceptional, but you’ve managed to somehow deliver more bad decisions into two years than I managed in a lifetime. But by all means take your moment." More and more coming. Blaming it all on him.

Growling Hunt Daisy is so good...

BASIRA: "Ignore it. ignore the uh… don’t listen. Focus, think. This is a place. You are you and you’re in a place now. If… if it’s a place, and it’s now, then… then… then it has an end. The other things, the…" [...] "Good! Then – then keep moving. Keep moving until you find another place. A place you know… just keep moving. Keep moving." This!... I didn't know what it meant, when I first listened to it. But up until then, I've never had a panic attack in my life. The second time around, I knew exactly what this was.

GERTRUDE!NIKOLA: "A terrible new world. It is all your fault." Is- is this meant as foreshadowing? Because is does a pretty good job at it! Just like that earlier bit with "You almost didn't doom the world?"...

JON: "I see you." Oh yes, going full Archivist with a brief statement of Joseph Grimaldi. (Also this is a line that is used for the finales of S2, S3 and S4!)

JON: [strained] "Wait, Tim! What do you see?" TIM: [angered] "I see my asshole boss! Or – or… wait… wait." Making other people see work very well for season finales.

TIM: "Jon. I don’t know if you can hear me, but if you can… then I don’t forgive you. But thank you for this." That pretty much settled the deal for me to decide that Tim has officially climbed my "dislike" rating up several steps at once. This whole episode is just "How can we fuck up Jon even more?", and Tim participated in it. I am very conflicted about Tim. I know what bad mental health can do to your persona. But the fact, that he knows, this will be the last he says to Jon and still decided to rub something in his face, just doesn’t sit right with me.  Also, I personally am just not someone for revenge arcs. It’s just creating an unending spiral of hate and it’s gonna blow up in your face... pun intended.

NIKOLA: “You idiot! Do you really make the world will fare any better under the Watcher? You think you’re saving anyone?!” Considering that this is what S4 is gonna be about, I’m guessing this was all foreshadowing... Or setting the stage, if you will^^

Ending the episode with a bang! ... Sorry, I just really like puns...

My first time around I had a really, reaaally hard time following what was going on (I mean, it is the Unknowing, so it's fitting). I had to carefully resort to the wiki and read the summary.

@a-mag-a-day​

#a-mag-a-day #mag 119 #tma #tma spoilers

[himynameisobed]

mid-may.

i've been having a pleasant string of almost-summer days that make me grateful. last saturday, amber and i went to cirque du soleil and had what seemed to be a life-changing and eye-opening experience - at least in the immediate aftermath, when we talked about leaving our boring, everyday lives to join the circus. (my toxic trait is believing that i can develop the capabilities necessary to be a cirque du soleil performance if i wanted to, even now, in my close to middle age) the human body is an absolute marvel. we saw mesmerizing contortionists, a man stacking chairs to an unbelievable height while also performing acrobatics, a man whose feet were strapped to one long stilt, who was launched into the air and did several flips before landing in perfect balance - it was insane and thrilling and now i truly believe every one should see one of these performances at least once in their life. after the circus, we went to my friend beth's 30th birthday party and it was cute. i'm trying to live more of an alcohol-free life, but it's difficult when i say i'll only drink on special occasions and every occasion seems special. got a bit tipsy, played with a dog, stood outside smoking a cigarette and talking about the upcoming movie, "killers of the flower moon." and when a friend of mine gets tipsy too, sometimes we get closer than we probably should. easy affection, a strange pull, some yearning for a deeper intimacy that might not be wholly appropriate given the context of everything. or maybe just a little bit of a harmless flirtation. the next day is sunday and i'm too hungover to go to church. i meet my sister at my parents' house later though, and we head to bang bang to stand in line for 20 minutes and get ice cream. we walked all the way there, which was impressive, but maybe a bit unnecessary. i'd invited conor out for ice cream, but he flipped it over on me and instead invited me over to a little party he and his friends were having at Tommy and Ronan's place. i wanted to go just to properly meet one of their friends, Shane, who had just immigrated to Toronto a couple of days before and has maybe the coolest natural hair colour i've ever seen. my sister and i get to their party, which is happening on the shared patio space on their building, so there's a bunch of random people there, and we find everyone talking to a group of australian girls. i play it cool with shane, pretending to be just noticing him, and strike up a nice conversation. he seems sweet, and a bit shy and sensitive, but also like he can have a good time. a nice addition to the group, in any case, but i guess they've all been friends forever. later we go to stackt market, and shane confides in me that he thinks it's overrated and he's bored, so i suggest going to crews. to my delight, he seems excited about the idea, but conor and i had been texting renee and she said she was at karaoke, so we went to meet her there instead. it might've been the wrong move since we ended up having to get a separate room anyway and barely seeing renee, and crews honestly probably would've been more fun, but it is what it is. shane leaves early saying he's tired. he leaves without letting most people know, and i feel bad he didn't have more fun, but there's always next time. the next day i meet my david, amber, and michael (+ michael's wife) at the beach. it's a nice day out and we walk along the board walk for a stretch before heading to a barbecue restaurant for lunch. my friend liam, his friend william and william's room mate meet us there. i feel kind of bad because i think liam thought we were going to have an actual beach day - a day of casual drinks on the shore, playing beach volleyball or some other sport - but really we just wanted to be outside in the nice weather and go get food. i think i accuse him of misunderstanding what i said when i invited him, but really i should've just apologized. in any case, he said he'd be ready for next time - that he would get some sort of ball himself and we'd all be able to play. he lives in the beaches but apparently rarely goes to the beach, but next time we'll make a day of it. our waitress at the restaurant is unnecessarily rude, making mistakes and accusing us of them and refusing to answer questions in any helpful way. it's honestly astounding, and i make a loud remark about how she needs to learn how to just do her fucking job that i hope she hears while she's walking downstairs. at one point she'd brought us what she says is a pork sandwich, which none of us ordered. she goes, "well, it's someone's, i wrote it down," and we say none of us ordered it so she goes back to the kitchen and comes back saying it's a brisket sandwich. our friend asks to confirm if it's pork or beef (since he can't eat pork), and she dismissively says something along the lines of, "i can't tell just by looking at it." so we ask her to go to the kitchen and check. and it was on her way back to the kitchen that i make a loud remark, and honestly after that she was quite a bit nicer to us so i think it worked. it's crazy how service can truly make or break a dining experience. we were 9 customers who were just trying to have a good time and enjoy the long weekend, and it seemed like this waitress with a stank ass attitude was making it her personal mission to ruin everything. to be honest, i think she was also a little bit racist or ignorant. maybe she was just a basic white blonde girl whose spent all her life in the beaches ever only with other white people, so she has no grasp of any possible experience beyond that. two of the people we were with were from cameroon and were asking her very reasonable questions that she was treating as stupid. i want her to try going to cameroon and ordering in french off of a menu that she doesn't understand. she literally had no patience or empathy, but i'm hoping she's just young and will grow out of that. after lunch, we walked along the beach some more and when we parted ways, i went home and took a nap until 9pm. all in all, it was a nice weekend with nice weather, and now i'm going to go back to trying to finally finish my portfolio.

[portablecity]

recent watches and listens and reads

Movies: The Pale Blue Eye - not bad, but by halfway through i had a strong “i bet the book is real good” feeling despite not knowing at that point that there was a book. Extreme problem of Charming Young Men In Uniform who all looked identical.

Point Break - a cultural moment I am glad to have caught up on. Incredible steady escalation of the tone and stakes. Bodie was a terrifyingly accurate depiction of the self-absorbed new age older dudes that hung around art school student scenes. Has anyone adapted this movie into a Descended From the Queen hack yet?

Woman King - hey i waited way too long to watch this, i super recommend it, it did not pull any punches on the action, the script, the themes, the emotional arc, the everything. It turned out that watching the trailer had told me almost nothing about it. Still a bit stunned. And despite the uniforms every character was easy to id and learn about and love.

The Hexer - the polish tv movie adaptations of The Witcher from like 20 years ago. It’s on youtube for free. No budget but all the enthusiasm. Pretty sure Henry Cavill based his geralt on this one, down to quite a few of the gestures and poses.

Audiobooks:

I’m working my way through the discworld books for the nth time, this time via my library’s audiobook collection. I have unconditional love for the series, but if you are coming from outside and want a place to start, I think I’d recommend Going Postal as your intro.

Most recently I just finished The Monstrous Regiment, and it is everything i remember and more. Some authors move the goalposts, or the finish line; Pratchett keeps moving the punchline, building on the joke until it’s non longer a joke and instead a core theme with big beautiful emotional payoff. I cried A Normal Amount.

Favourite character moments so far:

Sybil: in The Fifth Elephant, climbing out the window.

Vimes: any of his conversations with Willikins in Snuff.

Willikins: every time he is on screen, as it were.

Carrot: honest to god the addition of age and experience has really changed how i see Carrot and frankly I find him pretty terrifying. By the end of Men at Arms he is Legit Scary, and the shit he pulls in The Fifth Elephant is not cool. The only Carrot I particularly like is the one you hear in his letters home.

The Wizards: everything in Unseen Academicals.

The Librarian: how could i choose, honestly

Moist: the shit he pulls at the end of Going Postal; it’s such a bastard move for a good cause, which is i think the core of his appeal.

Death: dancing with Miss Flitworth

Vetinari: every conversation with Moist. Especially the one with the signet ring.

Gaspode: never not a fav but especially love his cameo in The Truth.

Angua: again, i feel like i read her very differently now; I don’t know if I really get her anymore. Further rereading needed.

I have been on the holds list for the witches books for a While, and the library doesn’t even HAVE Lord & Ladies, but I will update as I get to them. I do appreciate every moment Magrat gets her own out of a scene. But how to pick a fav moment with any of the others?

The only books I haven’t reread MANY times before this reread are Unseen Academicals, and Raising Steam; relistening to Unseen Academicals was a delight and left me very sad Pratchett didn’t get to continue those thoughts and themes further. Maybe the sweetest romances in the whole series. And somehow I just didn’t register Pepe and Madame on my first readthrough? Anyways I’m excited for Raising Steam, but not sure where to find an audobook version at this time.

Listening:

I discovered accordion players performing music like Vivaldi sonatas and Bach fugues and that certainly lives rent free in my brain now:

Otherwise I think I’ve listened to Devin Townsend’s Terria album at least twice a week sonce november. It’s harder to track down nowadays but remains a favourite.

Also we watched Andor slowly and carefully and I am still extremely immersed; can’t believe they got me back into the s’wars after boba and kenobi, honestly, but i am real glad I watched it.

Also, I read Ducks by Kate Beaton in a single sitting. Recommended.

#music #books #movies #heavy metal #discworld #reread #accordion #good times #recommendations #Youtube

[jasmariswonderland]

“Remember to Breathe” ~ Danica’s Dorm Uniform Vignette (2/3)

“Our dorm leader is a little intimidating, but please don’t be afraid. This is the most beautiful dorm in our school!” 

(A/N: This was originally posted back in February when I was still new to twst. Now that I’ve had this blog a few months, I decided to go back to some of my old vignettes and edit them. Some passages and plot bits have been rewritten and I’ve learned to make fake screencaps. Fake screencaps here are originally from Lilia’s ceremonial robes and Jade’s dorm uniform stories respectively.)

~~~

Three Days Later…

Taima: I see, well, look on the bright side. 

Danica: What bright side?

Taima: *grins* Your evaluation could have gone way worse!

Danica: I guess, if you wanna look at it that way. It’s just…

Taima: I know, I know. Think of this as a challenge, your first at this school. 

Epel: Is there a reason why performing makes you so stressed?

Danica: Not performing itself, performing alone.

Taima: Dani has a thing about always performing in a group. Back in our idol club, she never wanted to have solos even though, honestly, we thought her voice was the strongest out of the three of us. 

Danica: But I won’t be singing solo for the contest, why is Vil-san making me do this? 

Taima: I think he probably wants to see how serious you are about competing in the VDC.

Epel: *crossing his arms* Or how well you follow orders. That seems more likely. 

Danica: Ugh! Well, at least you’ll be there, Tai-chan, and I’ll only be singing for a small number of people, mostly those in my dorm.

Taima: …

Danica: Hmm? What’s wrong?

Taima: Uh…about that…

*Flashback to Scarabia dorm lounge*

Jamil: Taima Abilene?

Taima: Yes? That’s me.

Jamil: This just arrived for you. *hands her an elegant looking envelope embossed with the Pomefiore emblem*

Taima: For me? *reads it over* Oh, cool! I’ve been invited to a concert at the Pomefiore dorm! 

Kalim: A concert! Sounds awesome! Who’s performing?

Taima: My friend Danica, she’s such a good singer. You guys should come too! 

Kalim: Yeah! I’d love to! There’s nothing I love more than…

Jamil: Kalim, you forget the invitation was extended to Taima only. Would it really be appropriate for you to barge in uninvited? 

Kalim: Haaa, don’t be like that, Jamil! I’ll ask Vil if we can come too! I’m sure he’ll say yes! 

Taima: Yeah! The more, the merrier!

*Back to the present time*

Danica: And?

Taima: Weeeeell…*laughing awkwardly* if it makes you feel better, only Kalim-san is coming. Jamil has a club meeting that day soooo…yeah…

Danica and Epel: … *glaring at Taima*

Taima: Heeeeyy, in my defense, there was nothing in the invitation saying I couldn’t bring a plus one! 

Epel: Geez, ‘think Vil-san invited anyone else?  

Danica: Sevens, do I hope not! 

Taima: Try not to worry too much. Tell ya what? Me and some of my dormmates are gonna check out that Monstro Lounge on the other side of campus. Ya’ll wanna tag along?

Epel: I love to, but I’ve got etiquette lessons back at Pomefiore. Ugh! 

Danica: I would too, but in addition to everything else, I gotta go find a club to join. 

Taima: Oof, maybe next time then. Got any leads?

Danica: One, someone told me there’s a light music club meeting today so that’s where I’m heading. 

Taima: Wish you luck on that; catch ya’ll later. 

Epel: Buy, guys. 

Danica: See ya back at the dorm, Epel. 

~~~

Danica: Oh, I’m sorry, did I come to the wrong place? I’m looking for the light music club.

Cater: *smiling* Then you’ve come to the right place! 

Kalim: *also smiling* Nice to see new faces. Welcome! 

Danica: Thank you, but, this club only has two members?

Lilia: *hanging upside down right above her* Three members to be exact. And we’re more than delighted to welcome more!

Danica: EHHH?! 

Cater: Haha, don’t scare her off, Lilia! 

Danica: *trying to laugh* I wasn’t scared. Just surprised. (He wasn’t there when I…did he teleport?!) 

Cater: Don’t worry, he does that to everyone, even us! Anywho, glad to have you with us, Dani-chan! I’m Cater, a junior from Heartslabuyl, and you’ve just met Lilia. 

Lilia: Lilia Vanrouge, third year and vice dorm leader of Diasomnia. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Danica, such a lovely name. 

Kalim: And I’m Kalim! Dorm leader of Scarabia! 

Danica: Pleased to meet all of you, but, how do you know my name? I don’t think any of us have met. 

Cater: Haha, true dat. We might not have met in the flesh, but you’ve been the topic of our discussion today. I was just betting with Lilia when you’d show up here and…

Danica: Excuse me, what are you talking about? 

Kalim: He’s talking about your concert! Of course! We’re all hyped about it! 

Danica: …! 

Cater: I just got my invite, took a little convincing, but Vil finally agreed when I convinced him we were scouting for new members for the club! And that by keeping the invite list exclusive, he’d…

Danica: INVITE LIST?! Who else is coming?! (How did I know Vil-san was going to do this?!)

Kalim: Well, I’m coming as your friends’ plus one, and Vil said we could each bring one person. 

Cater: I’m bringing my vice dorm leader Trey. For some reason, he was totes interested in coming with me when I told him it was gonna be at Pomefiore. But hey! The more the merrier! 

Kalim: Yeah! That’s what Tai-chan said! 

Lilia: I was going to invite Malleus since he hardly ever gets out and…

(Danica tunes out the rest at the mention of Malleus)

Danica: …!!!! (MALLEUS?! MALLEUS DRACONIA?! WHY IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT SEVENS WOULD HE…)

Lilia:...but he’ll be busy at that time so I’ll be bringing Silver instead. 

Danica: *gives a little smile* (Oooooohhh, thank goodness…) 

Kalim: Oh, Silver’s coming? Awesome! 

Danica: …

Cater: But back to present, Dani-chan, what you’ll be singing? 

Danica: I... have a few ideas. I’ll probably make a final decision once I get back to my dorm. 

Kalim: Yeah, probably gotta talk the setlist over with Vil-san, huh?

Danica: Yeah, most likely. He’s allowing me most control over my performance, but he insists on having the final say on everything. And naturally, I have my own ideas and he…*trying to smile* has his own. (LIKE THAT I SHOULD BE DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!)

Lilia: Even so, perhaps you’d be so kind as to give us a little preview of what to expect Saturday?

Danica: *eyes widening* A…what?

Cater: Yeah, I’m sure Vil won’t object to that! 

Kalim: Sing for us! Sing for us! 

Danica: …I…I…

Lilia: Go on, don’t be shy, Nightingale. 

Danica: Well…I would…it’s just…I…I…

*The three look at her with curiosity*

Danica: Oh no! I completely forgot! There IS something I need to square away with Vil and it can’t wait! My deepest apologies for leaving so soon but we’ll all see each other Saturday! 

*The sound of hurried footsteps and the closing of the door*

Kalim: She seemed nice!

Lilia: A little timid, but very sweet indeed. 

Cater: Maaaannn, why must Pomefiore always get all the cuties??

~~~

Danica: Sidonie-san! Where’s Vil? I must speak with him right away! 

Sidonie: He and Rook are in the ballroom, is everything alright?

Danica: It’s about Saturday! He’s probably not going to like this but…

Vil: *Standing with Rook* What won’t I like? 

Danica: !!!

Vil: Go on, what do you have to say?

Danica: Ermmm…well…I’m sorry to bother you, Sir, but this is about Saturday. 

Vil: Ah yes, we were just going over preparations! 

Danica: But…since you…chose to invite other students…I feel all the more pressured to be perfect. I know this will upset you but I’d like to cancel, or maybe…

Rook: Cancel?! Why ever for?

Vil: All I said was that you could invite your Scarabia friend. I never stated I wouldn’t invite others. 

Danica: I understand that, but…I’m…concerned about my ability to give a top-notch performance. 

Danica: …Well…for one, I brought some of my stage costumes with me from home when I came to NRC. I recently tried them all on and it appears I’ve…lost some weight. Since this concert is such short notice, I don’t have time to send my costumes to a tailor. Therefore, I don’t have anything suitable to wear.

Vil: Hmmm, well now, that would be quite a conundrum warranting cancellation…

Danica: *face lights up*  

Vil: …if you weren’t already going to wear your dorm uniform. *smiling* I appreciate your desire to look fabulous, but in this case, wearing your dorm uniform would be more appropriate since you will be bringing merritt to Pomefiore. Is there anything else you’re concerned about? 

Danica: YES!!! I mean…yes there is. I assume the concert will be here in the lounge. If that’s the case, with everyone who’s been invited, I’m worried this space is a tad too small to…

Rook: How interesting that you would read my mind, Mademoiselle! Vil and I just arrived from the ballroom and I have convinced him that space would be more suitable for allowing you to truly shine! 

Vil: Anything else? 

Danica: One last thing, I guess (pleeeease, let this work). Back in my old idol club, we would always have our performances recorded. That way, I could watch them later to critique myself and take notes on what to do differently in the future. *with a smile* I’m guessing it would be too short a notice…

Vil: Hmph. I must say, and I don’t do so lightly, that your devotion to perfection is honorable. Fear not. Cater seems adamant about taking pictures for social media, so I’m certain he’ll be more than thrilled to take video as well. I’ll make sure he forwards everything to you. 

Rook: As you can see, cherie, you have no need for concern. Come Saturday, you will merveilleusse! 

(Danica lowers her head sadly, Sidonie notices.)

Sidonie: Vil, I might be meddling but I think the idea of Saturday’s concert is distressing her. A lot. 

Vil: Is that so, Danica? There seems to be more you wish to say.

Danica: …

Vil: Go on.

Danica: (Should I say it? But this may be my last chance) All those things are important to me, but the honest truth is, I’ve never sung solo before. If you make me do this, it would be a first for me.

Vil: I know. 

Danica: Huh?! How do you…

Vil: How I know is of no importance. Do you think I would consider any amateur singer to represent our school, and our dorm, at the VDC? 

Danica: No, Sir. And I want to meet your expectations, but I…

Vil: *frowning* If you want to meet my expectations, you can begin by not acting so sullen before you’ve even started! How will you know what you’re capable of if you give up at the slightest difficulty? Unexceptionable! 

Danica: I’m sorry. I certainly don’t want to be a disappointment. *lowering her head* I’ll…do my best on Saturday.

Vil: That’s better. Now, you should probably start rehearsing, you can use the ballroom if you wish. (Danica leaves, Sidonie looks concerned) Hmmm? What is it?

Sidonie: Don’t you think you’re putting unneeded pressure on her? Even if she leads the girls’ team for VDC, there will be others with her. Doesn’t this seem kind of excessive? 

Vil: Not at all, because when she wins, she will be in the spotlight to a much larger degree. I only wish to see if she is up to the challenge. 

Sidonie: Wait, so you’ve already decided to let her lead the girls’ team?

Rook: Oui! After finding some videos of her idol club on the internet. She’s quite talented and certainly has a winning presence! 

Vil: She’s not aware of this yet. I’ll inform her Saturday evening, after her performance. 

Sidonie: But now this makes even less sense!  Why make Danica prove herself if you’ve already decided…

(Vil and Rook give her a look and she pauses in thought) 

Sidonie: I see…so you’re testing her. If that’s how it is, don’t worry, I won’t tell her anything. *looking slightly defeated* I just hope you know what you’re doing. 

- TO BE CONTINUED -

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #pomefiore oc #OC: Danica #things i write

[imaginethathaikyuu]

honest love 

tanaka ryuunosuke x reader

tags: established relationship, descriptions of tanaka’s past failed relationship, descriptions of him loving someone else in the past, thoughts of proposing lead to tanaka being anxious, descriptions of anxiety loosely inspired by champagne problems by taylor swift 

in the middle of my tumblr break i wrote this and wanted to post it so, do with it what u will. ok bye again! 

fem reader word count: 1783

-

Rejection weighed heavy in Tanaka’s pocket. 

Trepidation burned the back of his throat like the taste of stomach acid. 

He was shaking, and not because of the cold. 

Memories of heartbreak played in his mind like a bad movie that he couldn’t shake out of his head. Every time he thought about what happened, it made him want to die; nothing he could do would rid the memories forever. He would never be able to erase those shattered scenes from replaying in his mind, almost like his brain was trying to sabotage him from feeling delight ever again. 

It was like the wound was still fresh, and maybe it would never heal. Even now that his heart had moved on, he was still hurt. 

She was beautiful and kind and delicate, and maybe those are some of the reasons why she didn’t want to be with him. Tanaka was rough all the way through; too rough for her. 

And yet, he was still naively dreaming of being someone’s one. 

So he found the courage to knock on your door.  

You opened it with the happiest smile and pulled him close like a magnet on metal, treating him in a way no one ever had and doing a good job at convincing him that he wanted this forever. 

“Why did you knock? You have a key,” and you kissed his cheek then his lips, and he wondered why the affection didn’t wash away his anxiety. 

“Thought I’d surprise you.” He cleared his throat and tried to speak softer, without that edge in his voice that’s always been there, but he couldn’t. “Did it work?” 

“No, I’ve been waiting by the door since seven. Was hoping to catch you walking in like you own the place.” Your laughter was angelically soft but it could only do so much to calm him down. 

You noticed. He wasn’t sure what gave it away, whether it was the sweat on his brow or the uneasy way he’d been avoiding your gaze, but he wasn’t able to hide it from you. 

“Something wrong?” 

“No,” he replied, quickly, like he’d been expecting the question. “No, everything’s alright, don’t worry.” 

You said, “Whatever you say,” because you saw through him. It wasn’t shocking. Most people could. But you didn’t push him, and he was grateful, because if you had things would have completely gone off plan. “You look nice tonight.”

“Thanks.” He watched you walk away from him toward your kitchen before he could get another word out, expecting him to follow, and for some reason he hesitated. Like if he walked too close you’d realize just how much he clings to you and want him gone. 

He had to do everything right tonight. He had to, or else the future he’d drawn up for himself would all be scrapped - again. Crumpled up and thrown in the trash only to be revised in three odd years when he’s haunted by two rejections rather than one. 

“I thought about cooking,” he heard you start, which prompted him out of his daze to make way to the kitchen. “But then I decided I didn’t want to. So what should we order?” 

He laughed at your honesty. “It doesn’t matter to me.” And you sighed at his indecisive response, a reaction which added more weight in Tanaka’s chest. 

“Well, think of something. I was thinking…” 

While he heard you talk he gave vague nods and positive responses, agreeing with anything you offered in hopes it’d help you make up your mind, but he wasn’t actually listening. He couldn’t. He felt like he had a crowd of thoughts in his mind, every one of them loud and overwhelming, and he couldn’t hear you over them. 

He looked at you, watched you. Noticed the way you stumbled over your words like there was a pothole in the middle of your sentence, only to keep speaking as if it wasn’t there - expecting him to understand what you meant. The way you were struggling to simply choose a restaurant to order from, scratching your head and scrolling through options on your phone as if you were deciding your last meal. You had dressed up for this occasion even though you had nowhere to go. And he liked to think you had been best dressed for him, even though he knew you weren’t. You could wear anything and Ryuunosuke would still think you were the fashion icon of the city - you knew that. And you didn’t even care if he thought that way. 

He looked around the room and wondered how all of these small things could add up to you. A collage of dishes in the sink, a mess on the stove from whenever you last cooked, your morning cup of coffee that had been abandoned on the counter with a few drinks left to go cold. 

You weren’t exactly perfect, were you?

You did so many things that Ryuunosuke couldn’t stand. Water bottles left on nightstands, holes in sheets you don’t change as often as you should, a mess of a closet he’s always deemed as your own personal cavern. Hair stuck to shower walls and socks left forgotten in corners. Loud laughter when he’s trying to sleep, and a grumpy attitude every morning when he’s trying to wake you up. 

And yet without those small additions, the answer wouldn’t be the same. Somehow, the entire equation that led to you was charming to him - even your affinity for bad books and your argumentative nature and your morning breath. 

His love for you was unique to him, and it wasn’t because of how deep in love he was. It was because he didn’t love everything about you that had him scratching his head every time he found another thing he didn’t like. He didn’t love you for your bad habits, the things he deemed as flaws in what should be a masterpiece but wasn’t quite there. 

He loved you in spite of them. And that doesn’t make him special - he’s well aware he isn’t boyfriend of the year for simply looking over your messy desk and road rage. But this love was different to him. Maybe that’s how he knows he’s grown up, he’s more mature than he was at twenty-two when, in his mind, the love of his life was embossed in gold with angel wings and a glowing halo to match. 

And maybe that’s why she wouldn’t put his ring on her finger. Maybe he didn’t love her in the way you’re meant to love someone. Maybe it was too superficial to last, and maybe she knew that. 

But you - your ragged edges were beautiful without being soft. And he didn’t miss the delusional love he once had. You taught him that an honest love was worth infinitely more. 

“You’re not even listening!” 

You were right, he wasn’t. “I -sorry!” 

“What else could you possibly be thinking about that’s more important than what we’re getting for dinner?” 

He didn’t have an answer, not one that made sense, not one that wouldn’t scare you right out of your own home with how honest it would be. But you took his silence in stride, cracking a joke that made him shortly forget those serious thoughts. 

“You’re not thinking about your other girlfriend, are you?” 

He gave a crude laugh from deep in his chest, “You caught me, babe.” 

“I’ll call the custody lawyer - this is my weekend, you know, you’re not allowed to be thinking about her.” 

He let out an exaggerated sigh, “Sorry, I’ll try my best. I hope you can forgive me,” and laughed at the way you seemed to move on from the bit in hopes of solving your current food related problem. “We could go out?”

You thought about it; he watched as you donned your thinking face - an expression he’s never pointed out to you but he’s always endeared - and he knew what you were thinking without you having to say it. 

Going out, rather than ordering in, consisted of taking the train. And you didn’t like taking the train. 

So maybe he shouldn’t have made the offer, and the anxiety in his stomach reminded him that his plan of doing everything right had been completely fucked from the moment he walked in. 

“Fine,” you said, giving him a strategically sly grin as you made your way over to wrap your arms around his waist. “We can go out. I’m guessing you want to go to a bar, then?” 

You never followed the road map of plans Tanaka had in his head, but maybe that was his fault for not laying it all out for you to see. 

Tonight, he was fine with it. Tonight wasn’t the night. He wouldn’t complain about that. 

Because you were willing to take an evening train with him to his favorite bar across the city, where you would eat less than stellar bar food and he would get too tipsy for your liking, just because that’s what he wanted to do. And you wouldn’t complain about it. 

And when you two got home, you would make him cuddle up close and watch whatever trashy TV show you were currently obsessed with for much later into the night than Ryuunosuke would like. And he would complain about it. 

You’d fall asleep and in the morning while you’re sleeping on his chest he’d debate whether or not he should propose right then and there, with the golden morning light and your bedhead framing your face, as if it would be a proclamation to you that he wants to wake up that way forever. 

That was his new plan. One that was destined to change so long as you were half of the equation. 

“Why do you seem so nervous today, Ryuu?” you asked him, lips pressed against his jaw, the two of you still standing in your kitchen even though Tanaka’s mind had been elsewhere. 

And he answered honestly, “You make me nervous,” though in the frame of a flirty joke it didn’t seem that way. 

All you could seem to do was shake your head and pull him toward the door, and it was obvious you knew more than you were willing to say. Ryuunosuke was bad at keeping secrets, after all, so maybe you noticed the trick up his sleeve minutes ago. 

But the nerves he had when walking through your door were gone now, replaced with a simmering excitement for the day the weight in his pocket is a ring on your finger. Because you were beautiful and flawed, kind and tempered, delicate and loud, and you loved him all the way through. And it was enough to give him the kind of hope he hasn’t had since he was loving someone blindly and driving home alone because of it. 

#bloop #i like this idk if anyone else will i also dont care tho #if i dont post this now i'll never stop writing it and i am done writing it #tanaka continuing to be my star lover boy <3 #i want 2 write a book about him #ok bye now getting off here ttyl i guess #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke x reader

[dracoqueen22]

Reunion

Universe: The Prime’s Consorts Characters: Sideswipe, Optimus Prime, Ultra Magnus, Sunstreaker Rating: T Description: Sideswipe thought he’d never see his brother again.

Sideswipe doesn’t know what to think when a trio of Primal guards shows up on his doorstep and demands he come with them. He’s torn between refusing because of what Streamline might do to him, and sprinting along with them because of a stupid hope that their arrival means he gets to see Sunstreaker. He immediately dashes that internal hope when he considers that seeing Sunstreaker is probably part of some ploy to force his brother into good behavior. His excitement immediately cools. Sideswipe goes with them because he doesn’t see where he has any other choice. His escorts are not very chatty. They don’t answer his questions, but sit in a stony silence as the transport heads straight for the shining beacon of Iacon, and the glittering tower that overlooks it all -- the Prime Residence. Sideswipe’s spark sinks deeper and deeper into his abdomen.

Sunstreaker is in that tower, enduring only Primus knows what, and Sideswipe is on his way to that very same tower, for a reason no one will give him. Sideswipe’s only comfort is that he’s not arriving in chains. There’s a surge of unconscious delight in his spark, one he can’t dampen, that keeps him riding the edge of calm. His every sensor is alight with his proximity to Sunstreaker. He dares hope he might get to hug his brother, share their fields, and if he’s really lucky, be allowed a shallow merge. The shuttle lands. They herd Sideswipe into the Prime Residence itself, lead him silently through the massive halls, passing too many doors to count, too many servants who bow and lower their gazes. He expects the atmosphere to reek of discomfort and simmering disgust. It doesn’t, and somehow, that’s the weirdest part. Sideswipe’s taken to a door. One of his guards presses a button, announces them in the same serious monotone as when he’d informed Sideswipe to come along, and the door slides open. They gesture him to go inside. There’s warning in their optics, though Sideswipe can’t imagine why, until he does as they ask, and he realizes. Slag. This is Optimus Prime’s office. And Optimus Prime is seated behind a large desk, the massive windows letting in streams of false sunlight while a larger mech stands beside him, pointing to a datapad in the Prime’s possession. The door shuts behind Sideswipe, leaving the guards on the other side. Optimus Prime looks at Sideswipe, and he smiles, and there’s such warmth in the smile, Sideswipe feels as if he’s stepped into an alternate dimension. Optimus Prime rises from behind the desk and circles it, extending a hand toward Sideswipe. “Hello, Sideswipe. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he says. Sideswipe takes the hand on automatic. “I think the pleasure’s supposed to be mine, sir,” he says, because it’s a lesson Sunstreaker never quite absorbed, that being polite from the start earns you more concession than slag. Optimus Prime chuckles and gestures to a chair. “Please. Sit.” “I’d prefer to stand if it’s all the same to you,” Sideswipe says, flashing his patented smile, trying to ignore the other, much larger mech. “Can I ask what I’m doing here?” Optimus Prime returns to his desk, briefly patting the other mech on the shoulder before he sits. “I made a promise to your brother, and with Ultra Magnus’ help, I was finally able to fulfill it.” “I think Prowl might have contributed a task or two,” says the mech whom Sideswipe can only assume is Ultra Magnus in a dry tone. “It was a group effort,” Optimus Prime says, chuckling. It’s so surreal Sideswipe wonders if he’s still in recharge, and this is all some by-product of tainted energon. He stares at both of them. Ultra Magnus coughs into his hand and gives the Prime a pointed look. If Sideswipe didn’t know any better, he’d think it is chastisement, but this is the Prime here. And whoever Ultra Magnus is, no way he’s got authority over the Prime. Optimus Prime looks at Sideswipe directly, and it’s not comfortable to have the full force of that look. He says, “I know you have little reason to trust anyone in a position of authority, but nevertheless, I wish to reassure you that this isn’t a trap. It’s my hope that meeting you like this might reassure you of my intentions.” Sideswipe’s mouth opens and shuts, his arms folding as he ruminates on the Prime’s words. He has to admit, they’re pretty much the perfect thing someone should say in this situation if they’re trying to gain Sideswipe’s trust. But that’s the thing about politicians, isn’t it? They always know the right thing to say. Especially if they’ve managed to wheedle or force the necessary insight out of another party. Like, for example, Sunstreaker who has been in the clutches of Optimus Prime for too long already. “Your intentions,” Sideswipe echoes. “Yes,” Optimus Prime says, and he audibly cycles a ventilation. Most mechs might think this is the perfect time for a reassuring smile, but the Prime apparently doesn’t. He gives Sideswipe a serious look, his tone shaping into that of a vow, “My sole purpose in bringing you here is so I can ensure your and your brother’s happiness.” Sideswipe cycles his optics. “... What?” He thinks about resetting his audials, because the words don’t jive with what he’s used to hearing from mechs in the Prime’s position. Then again, he also knows the value of pretty words. They’re what got him and Sunstreaker into debt with Streamline in the first place. Kind words promising energon and safety and a home, and instead, it turns into a contract they can’t get out of. Sideswipe knows how to play this game, too. “I am aware of the circumstances behind Sunstreaker’s nomination, and I don’t approve of them. No mech should be held hostage for love of his family,” Optimus Prime says, and there’s something in his tone that’s almost… angry? On their behalf? Which if it’s feigned, mech’s doing a damn good job of it. “I want to reunite you with Sunstreaker because you two should be together and for no other reason.” For no other reason? Without any attached strings? Sideswipe doesn’t believe it for a second. The strings come later, in little favors and asks and wheedles. See how generous the Prime is? So generous now, so when he needs something later, he can remind them of his kindness. It’s easy enough to hand a leash from one owner to another, isn’t it? Sideswipe’s armor crawls. He smiles anyway, because that’s what he knows best to do. He smiles, and he says, “I thought I’d never get to see Sunstreaker again, honestly. Thank you, sir,” Sideswipe says, because when one stands in front of the singularly most powerful mech on the planet, they mind their glossa. “How long do we have?” “How long?” Optimus Prime echoes, and he actually looks confused for a moment before he shakes his head. “There’s no restriction. You can stay here if you’d like, or if you’d prefer, you can find alternate accommodation.” “There is the matter of your safety,” rumbles Ultra Magnus, who’s been doing his best to be a silent statue up until now, his attention grabbed by a datapad. “We can protect you better if you live here with your brother.” Right. Because Sunny can’t leave. Because he belongs to the Prime now. And apparently, Optimus Prime can’t manage without a matched set. Hold on. Sideswipe replays Optimus Prime’s words with Ultra Magnus’ additions. It takes that long for the full meaning of their offer to filter through his suspicion. Sideswipe tries not to gape and knows he’s failed. “Wait. You’re giving me the choice? I can live here with Sunstreaker if I want to?” “Yes, I am,” Optimus Prime says and there it is, a small smile that tries to be reassuring. “Would you like to see him?” Sideswipe barely resists squinting at him. Is that a real question or is he already starting with the mind-frag games? “If it’s not too much trouble,” he says instead. Streamline wouldn’t have been fooled, but Optimus Prime and his large lackey haven’t learned yet. “I’ve already called him, Optimus. He should be here any second now,” Ultra Magnus says. Optimus Prime gives him a look Sideswipe can’t interpret, but it doesn’t faze the mech. “Thank you.” “Of course.” Ultra Magnus pauses as a low, cheerful chime rings through the room. “That will be him now, as a matter of fact.” Sideswipe tingles all over, his spark one massive throb in his chassis. He turns as the door whooshes open, and it’s like onlining for the first time all over again, Sunstreaker walking inside looking beautiful and healthy and whole. He carries his head high, not a trace of slump to his shoulders, and that more than anything, shocks Sideswipe into silence. Or maybe it’s the fact Sunstreaker spots him just as quickly, changes direction from greeting the Prime to stride across the floor and sweep Sideswipe into a strut-crushing hug. Affection? From Sunstreaker? In front of other people? Sideswipe hugs him back, equally fierce. “Missed you, too,” he murmurs as his spark throbs a frantic beat of love-need-relief. “Shut up,” Sunstreaker hisses, squeezing until his armor creaks, only to pull back and take Sideswipe’s hand in a crushing grip. “We’re going to talk later,” he tells Optimus Prime in a voice that sounds too much like chastisement for Sideswipe’s comfort, before he starts tugging Sideswipe out of the room. “Take all the time you need,” is Optimus Prime’s diplomatic response, tinged with amusement, before the door shuts on them. “Did you just yell at the Prime?” Sideswipe asks, dazed. His head spins. Too much is happening too fast especially when all he can focus on is the nearness of Sunstreaker’s spark, and how much his chassis jutters to open. “He deserved it,” Sunstreaker says, tugging Sideswipe to the next door over, keying it open, revealing a plush sitting room larger than their entire apartment back in Tarn. “Deserved it… Sunny, he’s the Prime!” Sideswipe splutters, aghast at his twin’s nonchalance, though he should have expected it. Sunstreaker never has been one for respecting authority. Sunstreaker squeezes his hand and whirls on Sideswipe, pulling him into another embrace. “I’ll explain later,” he says, one hand cupping the back of Sideswipe’s neck as he presses their foreheads together. “Promise.” Their chassis collide, and Sunstreaker’s twitching chestplate rasps against Sideswipe’s own. Oh. “Yeah, okay, sure,” Sideswipe says, processor twirling. “Later.” He curves an arm around his brother’s waist, keeping them close, in-venting the familiar scent of Sunstreaker’s stupid-expensive wax, and soaking in the weight of his twin’s field. “Primus, I missed you.” He stops holding back, and his chestplates spring open, the glow of his spark briefly reflected on Sunstreaker’s armor before he opens as well, and the pull of his spark is impossible to resist. Explanations can come later. Right now, Sideswipe has his twin in his arms, and that is all that matters. ***

#the prime's consorts #consortium #transformers fanfic #sideswipe #sunstreaker #draco writes #draco writes fanfic #ultra magnus #optimus prime

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Final Four: Beaks in the Shell! or JESUS WEPT!

This.. this is a big occasion for me. It’s a return to regular Ducktales coverage.. but it’s also the first episode of the LAST four of the series. It was thanks to Ducktales my blog got a following, first through in character chat things, then through my reviews of this very season. It was starting this last year that took my blog from something I was passionate abbout but did ocassionaly to a vital part of my being and my source of income via one lucky boy who just wont’ let me stop! I kid of course, I thank kev for it, though i’d gladly welcome any other review comissions from you fine folks and fit them into the schedule. There’s a page on my blog for how and if your on mobile you can simply send me an ask or submit to ask about comissiong an episode or episodes of an animated shwo you like and i’ll give you my prices and what not. But it’s thanks to these Kev started comissioning in the first place and thanks to you all clicking on these reviews every week I do them that kept me doing them early on. So I wanted to thank you all. 

Covering the last four episodes is really bittersweet for me. It’s not the end for ducks here: I have most of seasons 1 and 2 to cover, and will be covering a lot of season 1 next month so I can properly cover shadow war for my Lena retrospective, not to mention continuing to cover life and times when I have the space, various birthdays, including Carl Barks Next Month!, and so on and so on. But this is not only the first show I covered on a weekly basis but it’s the first show i’ve covered like that to end. To put it in perspective, Loud House won’t be leaving until it WANTS to and even then nick will probably prepare a second spinoff to follow it up in some form, Amphibia has both the rest of season 2 to go, starting next month!, and a third season renewal meaning while that probably WILL be it i’ll have had two full seasons to cover by the time it’s over, and I went into Close Enough FULLY expecting it not to make it past season 1 as it’s long and harried production cycle lead me to belivie Time-Warner was just going to dump it on HBO Max and be done with it.. and to my utter and everlasting delight the opposite has happened: It didn’t just get renewed but it’s become one of HBO Max’s most popular shows, the flagship of it’s adult animation lineup, and been given THREE more seasons, two of which are coming very soon, and likely will get as many as it wants for the forseable future. 

The point is.. I went into covering Ducktales expecting at least one more season and genuinely not knowing if i’d make it thorugh covering this one, and once this started to really work out for me, to the point from doubting i’d EVER be able to set up a Patreon to having one that nets me ten dollars a month, feel free to contribute if you enjoy these reviews even a buck a month helps, honest. Plus thanks to that ten bucks a month i’ll be covering the five part 87 Ducktales pilot in April and if you get it up to ten i’ll cover super ducktales. But I wouldn’t even had one without these reviews giving me something to start with, and I figured they’d be around for a few more years, at least one more season. I didn’t think the show would just.. end with this season and while the season IS a proper final season of the show, wrapping up arcs, introducing long overdue cast additions, giving us the biggest and best overarching plot thus far.. a good final season dosen’t make it hurt any less. But as a wise Synthizoid once said...

It hurts it’s going.. I wasn’t prepared for it.. but it’s giving us one hell of a last act, and if this episode is any indication, just because the end is in sight dosen’t mean the last few eps before the finale are phoning it in. This is the end... so now i’ve got my emotional stuff and the weight behind it out of the way, for now i’m defintely going to be bawling come the finale and I’m not ashamed, we can dive into the begining of the end. Counting down.. because really when else am I going to get to use this...

We’re at four and under the cut it’s beaks in the shell. Let’s get dangerous. 

We open with a crime in progress as Gandra is stealing a thing for FOWL and Fenton has shown up on the scene to stop her as you’d expect.. along with Huey the boy wonder! He’s finally Fenton’s Sidekick!

Seriously it’s just so sweet to see this little payoff, to see Huey, after talking about it and clearly wanting to assit Fenton however he can, actually participate. Granted he dosen’t have an armor, yet, of his own, but still he’s been through enough stuff to be helpful> plus, Gyro’s reaction to Fenton trying to ge the resources for another gizmosuit was...

Gandra trips up his wheel, and im with 87 Scrooge in Ducktales Remastered, which I finally got to play recently! Horay!, what WAS gyro thinking with that design. Regardless she gets away, and our heroes return the loot off screen. Good day’s crime fighting. 

Except something’s off with Fenton as he’s been working extra late lately and lying to both Gyro and Ma’Ma about it with both suspcious, Gyro because he dosen’t like not knowing things and especially not knowing what his former intern’s up to because he’s a bit of a control freak.. and because he probably can’t go visit his new clone farm and work on speeding up the process of his replacement bodies after moonvasion used em all up without Fenton finding out as he’d tell Scrooge and Scrooge would be like “Stop playing God in ways that could get me a steep fine!”. It’d be a whole thing. The fact Fenton’s also using their now shared intern in Manny and neither is telling him why probably isn’t helping and i’ts only that workplace harassment seminar that keeps him from trying to strangle either of them again. That and Manny dosen’t have a neck.

Ma’Ma is more upset that not only is he lying to her again, more on that later, but .. that she’s figured out he has a new girlfriend and understandably thinks there’s some dark reason he’s not telling her, and unlike Gyro turns out she’s two for two. I mean she is a detective while Gyro is more worried about his clone army, his man horse and his robot son. I mean the last two are valid but still Mama just has to worry about her job and her socially awkward adult son. She has more time to focus on this.

But yes, not only is Fenton seeing someone.. but it’s Gandra again. A bit abrubt but honestly this isn’t the first Fenton episode to move his life fast.. and frankly i’m more lenient on final seasons, or seasons INTENDED to be the last ones in terms of offscreen stuff, as your trying to get everything you can wrapped up in the span of 13-24 episodes depending on how lucky you get, if not less. Sometimes you just gotta use a reveal and some exposition to hurry things along and if presented right it works.. and here it is a while the summary for this episode spoiled the reveal, i’ts still subtly dramatic that not only has hef ully forgiven her.. but their together.. despite the fact she still works for fowl. Wuh-oh.  After the credits we get an idea of what their working on, as Fenton used the gizmoduck suit to enter some kind of VR scape. This is the Gizmoscape! It’s a vast virtual reality landscape.. that looks like a fancy version of the VR Interface from community. Marble pillars, flowing water falls. Though ironically enough Jim Rash’s character is NOT a part of it and despite Fenton suggesting letting him in to help with their glitch problem she’s reluctant as it’s THEIR baby and she wants it to be perfect first before they allow other people in. Though i’m also sure part of it is that Gyro would start screaming JESUS WEPT! over and over. 

Meanwhile Mark Beaks is having a big flashy press confrence to announce the new Waddlephone. Only a 50% chance of exploding! And that’s not my dig at Samsung but the shows as that’s really Beaks sales pitch. Unsuprisingly only one VERY bored looking nerd is there at the confrence. As for why he’s finally fallen so low part of it is explalined in the episode: His attempted thefts of the Gizmoduck suit have gotten stale. As the bored nerd puts it he’s tried to steal it four times already, two that we’ve seen but i’m VERY unsuprised he’s tried again off screen. He’s made it PAINFULLY clear he has no ideas of his own, constantly steals them, and the public’s tired of it. As for why it took THIS LONG.. this is sadly realistic. As the throngs of “hardcore gamers” defending Cyberpunk 2077 before it was released can attest to, internet nerd culture can often be toxic, stupid and defend big personalities even when they’ve CLEARLY done something terrible as long as their doing something they like. Beaks was clearly pilfering enough good products and doing enough antics on social media to still be liked and for them to ignore his blanat and douchey crimes and had enough money on him during said crimes to walk away from it. 

Problem is.. while people can be awful and defend someone despite them not deserving their loyality, being a douche in public and doing VERY terrible things.. you have to have something to earn that loyalty. Waddle had that at first iwth project ta-dah, Waddleduck, various aps i’m sure... but it’s clear from context by this point Beaks has nothing left and no cult of personality to insulate him. Unlike say Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos he dosen’t HAVE some big product to mask his shadier wealth hoarding actions, he just has rampat supervilian attempts to steal someone else’s power armor and a hired hyjacking to get back at his cold unloving mother. Even when he does supervillian stuff like that.. he can’t be bothered to do it originally. The public will, and very sadly, defend you from terrible stuff, we’ve seen it with people supproting Gina Carano even though she’s actively spreading harmful disnfermation and then had the GALL to compare herself to jews hiding from the nazis, and one journalist trying to defend her had the gall to compare this to the hollywood blacklisting if the 50′s instead of you know, someone who woudln’t shut up about harmful dangerous shit finally getting fired for using teh platform said job provided to spread said harmful dangerous shit about masks and the vacine. But if you have nothing to offer.. thieri just going to forget you and move on. He has nothing to offer so they’ll gladly gravitate to some other jackass who can at leasat given them a neat phone instead of trying to steal a superhero suit for the 8th time. Mark realizes if he can’t steal something soon.. he’ll be forced to go with the Nuclear option: MAKE SOMETHING HIMSELF. 

Back at Fenton’s toilet lab, Huey finds Fenton having some cyber makeouts with Gandra... which translates to him kissing the air and Huey feeling evne more awarkd than usual. As for why Huey’s here despite it being late, he got a piece of Gandra’s nanotech during the robbery and figures they can track her. Fenton is.. less than enthused about that for obvious reasons but things soon get worse for our hero as our other hero notices the linkup. And while sidekicks are a good thing in my eyes; They allow young heroes to get proper training, help nuture their talents and prevent assholes from telling them to stop it instead of you know helping them. It’s.. a more common trope than you think let me tell you. 

But Fenton’s discovered the Downside is they can show up anytime, want to hunt your criminal girlfriend down not knowing the full story, and if their a genius like you, figure out what your up to with no effort and really want to try it. Seriously Huey’s almost as smart as you Fenton and will no doubt surpass you one day, this was a matter of when not if and you shouldv’e been more prepared. But Huey wants to try, and while Fenton tries deflecting since he only has the gizmoduck helmet and it only works for him now... Manny comes in with a bunch of vr rigs and Huey dives in.  Naturally, Huey soon running directly into Gandra dosne’t go great.. and given this is huey his natural instinct is to have a panic attack over his best friend, mentor and the only person besides maybe his family, boyfriend and girlfriend that really gets him possibly betraying him and his entire family. Gandra is of course mad Fenton invited someone in when she didn’t want that, and even more someone whose clearly not happy with her and will likely tell on them because that’s basic hue-man nature. 

Fenton explains he didn’t ask for this, so we get easily the best part of the episode: Gandra’s solution to the child having a mental breakdown.. is to summon a weighted blanket and throw it over him, which Huey mistakes for a trap and she explains helps with Anxiety.. and while he struggles.. it really does. Damn gotta get me one of those. Also while his Autisim remains vauge, likely on puprose, Huey having anxiety disorder, while obvious before, is now 100% confirmed. 

So now he’s calm, though his Anxiety meter shows he’s still not happy and Gandra doubts he’ll listen, Fenton can at least try and explain: The two have been seeing each other and working on this in secret.. but it has NOTHING to do with FOWL other than Gandra embezzling resoruces to make it happen. Gandra also explains why the project is so important to her and Fenton via her own backstory: Super Science is a dangerous, unrpedictable field and accidents happen a lot, and given people tend to hate what they don’t understand, hence why the X-Men founded their own island  after getting spat on one too many times, it often gets an unfair bad wrap.. and she shows she’s had to put up with this her whole life, making an intresting lazer thing as a kid that lost to a volcano and getting glared at for it accidently destroying said volcano. And as an adult due to her work’s dangerous and experimental nature, no one would take a chance on it and like many a super villian she had to experiment on herself. It’s also why she worked for Beaks last season and works with FOWL now, only supervillians with thier grandiose ambitions and lack of care for property damage would fund her. 

That’s part, at least, of why this is so very important to her: The Gizmoscap eprovides an invorment where scientests and others can experiment unabated, where the only limit is imagination and those glitches they keep having and any accident can be frozen , dragged and dropped away with no damage. There’s no risk but all the reward and they plan to give it out for free, to let the public use this and let the world grow from it. 

It also fills in a lot of Gandra’s character and gives weight to her last apperance: Her working with Beaks, while hypocritical, now has a tragic edge as he was simply the only one who’d fund her work. Her hatred of Fenton’s corprroate job and people like Scrooge.. is that in general billionares like him usually aren’t good people, and even SCrooge has his clear faults, and she assumed he was just making Fenton shut up and do things just to beniefit him and make him more money.. when Scrooge was instaead paying him to do a genuine public service as gizmoduck, and gives him and Gyro a LOT of leway and a pretty bottomless budget and only turns things down if their way too dangeorus for public release. The tragedy here is if she’d gone to Scrooge.. she never would’ve had to work for FOWL. He wouldd’ve genuinely supported her and likely given her a full ride and a spot in the lab of her own, maybe as an intern but probably on her own merit given how game changing her tech is and how he of all people understands a ballance of risk and reward. It turns her from a very hypcoriticla techie who works with the very people she scorns.. to someone who has no choice and desperatley wants out.  And this is her way out: something new and bold that’, while not hers alone as Fenton co created it, could change the world and make it safe for people like her to do what they do without ridcule, scorn or risk. It’s everything she could’ve dreamed of and more and once it’s done she promises to leave fowl and as the end of the episode bares out, and as her tone makes clear, she’s genuine about it. She also TRULY does love fenton and vice versa and both are desspearte for Huey to keep a lid on things from Gyro till it’s ready, as she rightfully worries if it gets out unfisnished they’ll just be mocked agian.  Naturally being a good soft boy Huey is now entirely on board, because he loves science, and he loves love and this is both. And frankly given what we saw way back in Astro BOYD... .he knows more than anyone what its like to be laughed at and mocked for being diffrent and simply being smart. And even though his family lvoes him.. only one member is as smart as him in the same way, his mom whose still a very diffrent person, and it wasn’t till this season he really got to connect with people his own age like him. And both Violet and BOYD could benifit form this.. everyone could. So he’ll keep it secret for now.  This proves problematic as both Gyro AND Mama are there and both have questions. And while Huey ducks gyro, Mama.. interrogates a small child who she’s defintely met and likely knows has anxiety over something as trivial as her son having a secret girlfrined. You.. you guys might’ve wanted to remove this bit given last year. I”m just saying. Does not play well. The most Huey can come up with is a girlfriend in Canada which fenton plays along with... but given neither her nor gyro are really buying into things, though Mama has a check done on seamstresses in canada just in case because this bit was clearly written years ago and not rerecorded for whatever reason, Huey uses little bulb to fake a gizmo emergency so Fenton can get out of there, go home and work on this himself while Huey stalls and lies. But since his best on the fly lie was “a girlfriend in canada”, which is somehow worse than “who’s Dewey”, and while our boy is many things: excellent at opera, a good friend, a wonderful wingman, excellent at setting a mood, a good son, great at panic attacks, a genius, an expert woodchuck, knowledgeble on quantum mechanics.. the list goes on lying is not one of those things and he seems to be in a pickle. 

Meanwhile Mark is struggling to create, can relate, because he’s entirely creatively sterile. And that’s probably why out of Scrooge’s foes.. he stopped being a threat. He has no vision. And while true the Beagle BOys also don’t besides steal stuff and maybe get our deed back, that’s by design as Ma knows they can’t take scrooge or gizmoduck so why cry. Stick to petty crimes and stuff he isn’t aware of or dosen’t care about. But Magica and Glomgold do. Magica is cunning, if not subtle, and manipulative and when on full blast horrifyingly powerful, and it took everything Clan McDuck had to stop her at full, and she still nearly won without any powers when she came back, and even if Lena can keep her in check now, she still GOT her powers back and got her new arch enemy to defeat her old one. Glomgold while only slightly more comipitent than beaks, and even then VERY slightly, he at least has vision. His schemes are entirely stupid.. but he dosen’t stop coming up with them. They may be his first draft but damn if they aren’t entertaining and damn if one or two haven’t WORKED. Simply stealing a few cents from scrooge and gaslighting him in a devil costume NEARLY drove him insane and cost him his fortune.  Beaks.. has no ideas. He has ambiation.. but it’s to steal the same tech that even if he got it, he woudln’t know what to do with. The ONLY time he’s been a full on threat has been using someone else’s scheme, that Gandra clearly came up with and STILL required piggybacking on the gizmo suit. He has nothing and while it was fine for a while.. eventually h’es left iwth nothing. Glomgold at least has money, magica at least has power... Beaks HAD both.. but had no idea what to properly do with it and now is on his last legs. Even his idea for a coffee cups with aps is taken because of course “even the dumbest ideas are taken”, this is america. Making dumb shit for rich morons is our primary export. But he sees the fleeing fenton, has a breakdown and declares FINE if that’s what fate wants i’ll steal the armor I’LL STEAL THE ARMOR ALL DAY. 

So Fenton heads home to recharge in both senses of the word, and to tell Gandra the timetable’s moved and Huey can hold them only so long. And he seems to be wrong as Huey confidently prepares to answer their questions.. but is seemingly thrown when we get the real reason Mama is so upset: She’s just worried and still a bit hurt from Fenton not feeling he could tell her he was gizmoduck and it breaks her heart that her son feels he has to hide from her again. However while this is genuinely sad and emotional.. the reason he’s thrown is it’s NOT huey, but Louie, whose a bit miffed as he DIDN’T know Fenton was Gizmoduck, and can’t properly bullshit without full info. it’s also really nice that bit FINALLY came up as the rest of the four main kids have known for a while now. But Huey convincnes him to do it.. for 6 months allowance. Frankly the real shocker here is that they actually GET an allowance. 

However Mama.. is again a cop. One who REALLY needs to rethink her ethics.. but a cop, and the best one on the force, and thus has easily guessed this is not Huey, and given she’s probably ran into his schemes before, figures out which one he’d bring in to buffer for him and easily gets rid of Louie by asking him to tur informant on himself, since the REAL Huey would under pressure and Louie instead flees in terror not wanting to get arrested and leaves both the lab and the episode. Though I’m pretty sure i know where he went

So yeah things are not great and only get worse, as Mark breaks into fentons house via the open window and upon finding out abotu the Gizmoscape naturally plans to hack into it and take it for himself. Before he does Fenton talks to Gandra and admits they may have to let other people in and we get another reason: She’s worried she’s not good enough. He reassures her.. and this tender moment is interupted by Beaks who imprisons them, hyjacks fenton’s security system aka a gizmo armor, and while still a creatively sterile douche, does have a decent if horrifically scummy way to profit all of this: use the open coloabreation concept to get the legal right to steal all this and say it’s his. 

Fenton bemaons the fact that Gandra was right, one bad apple spoiled the bunch and unveling it too qiuckly would’ve gone bad as she feared.. but Gandra’s grown and realizes Fenton was also right, and that they needed more people. While the wrong people can ruin a project, collaboration can help, finding perspectives you didn’t see and helping fine tune ideas. Huey, whose collapsed at Fenton’s due to the exustion of lying, wakes up to find Beaks crimes and being unable to just unplug him, as while Beaks is VERY dumb, even he’s not THAT stupid. But Fenton gets out an SOS over morse to tell everyone So Huey does.. and the calvary arrives, as Huey enters the Gizmoscape with Mama and Gyro. And while Mama is pleased to realize she’s right about the girlfirend thing they don’t really have time for that, so once Huey explains the basic concept, he uses it himself to give himself GIZMO ARMOR. AT LAST. 

He also has extra long legs, because of course, just.. of course. Naturally Beaks steals it, and everyone else takes a stab at their own gizmotech armor: Mama daawns a stunning police themed one, Gyro goes for a bulb mecha based on the giant version of little bulb from the great dime chase, an idea brought up by LB, and Gandra goes for a sleek tron esque nanotech number. Beaks take sa bit from each and our heroes wonder how to beat him.. but Fenton realizes that’s simple: Beaks can only copy and steal... they can create. And Gandra uses this against him by pointing that out so he drops his super armor.. to look like Andross from Starfox.. which shows that EVEN when trying to come up with a cool final boss form... Beaks has to steal from something. The rest of the Gizmo Corps, my name for them I own that, Gizmo Legion would also be good, after Iron Man’s iron Legion, suit back up and kick beaks ass as a team. I smell second spinoff.. or first if darkwing ends up hyjacked by Seth Rogen.. who I have nothing agianst he’s just not the one who put in the work for a reboot. 

So our heroes win in an awesome sequence, seirously spinoff and Beaks is knocked the fuck out and presumibly will FINALLY go to jail for good to this as he can get away from a lot but directly breaking into an officer’s house and stalking her son, they can omit the gizmopart and even if Fenton went public.. no one would care and he and Mama can take care of htemselves, as can Huey, Gyro, Gandra and Manny, so it’s not like anyones in danger. Beaks is well and truly defeated: he has no idea, an imminet jail sentence, and no one to back him up. Fenton’s finally got the little boil off his back

So now the big fight is over, Gyro can actually process the Gizmoscape.. and is genuinely impressed.. he tries to hidei t because of course he does.. but it’s clear for someone who himself has constnatly been called crazy and had his ideas blow up.. this is paradise to him. a place where he won’t be judged and has unlimtied funds to experiment with his ideas without having to get yelled at when they destroy a city block or nearly choked to death by his own robot son, daughter or nonbinary person. He also easily fixes the problem and proves Fenton right for wanting to include him, as he points out they hadn’t been DELETING anything, simply downsizing it and it naturally caused stress on the server.  Fenton talks about Gandra and defneeds her to Mama.. whose just happy he’s happya nd someone can take her son. Alls well that ends well right. 

Final Thoughts:  So this was a... wait.. why are we cutting back to fowl.. why is bradford there. 

Yeah turns out megalmanoical diabolical msterminds kinda monitor their employees so he knew she intended to quit and stole resources, and while she plans to leave, he simply calls in a bunch of eggheads who overwhelm her with sheer numbers and has her fined two weeks pay.. and taken to the lost library to indefintely lock her up. What’s that she asks “You have your secrets, I have mine”

So yeah a bit of a downer ending

Actual Final Thoughts: 

This was an excellent capper to Fenton’s character arc. While the Gandra relationsihp is a bit rushed the rest is a masterful capper to his character arc: This episode shows off how he’s changed from EVERY one of his previous three focus episodes, while a major part of astro boyd and how he got his docterate it dosne’t quite contribute to his character arc,  and grown from them: From beware the buddy system! he’s learned to colaberate properly and taken his desire to WORK with other people, like he always did with Gyro but was constnatly shut out, and found a proper and brilliant way to that allows people like him, gyro, gandra and huey to really express themselvs. He’s grown from a niave rookie trusting the wrong people in who is gizmoduck.. to someone whose STILL fully trusting despite constant betryals, but now knows who to trust, and an experinced hero who once freed easily counters his nemisis.  And finally from Dangerous Chemistry, he’s finally got a ballance in his life: inastead of running from gizmo or treating his alter ego as something else.. he’s found a way to use the gizmotech for science, and FINALLY found his world changing invention one so good and so practical even his mentor, despite trying to walk it back, is genuinely proud of him and genuinely in awe.

Every step lead to his happy ending.. well okay his girlfriend still needs to be freed from her insane ex-boss, but that’s just a few episodes away. Fenton has everything he wanted when he started: his boss finally respects him and treats him as an equal, his mom not only knows who he is but is proud and supportive of him, he has a loving partner creatively and romantically.. and a best friend who while a good two decades younger, is there for him and who he genuinely apologizes too for putting so much on him. LIke all the endings so far this season.. it feels like a throughly satisfying end to the journey we’ve been following. This fits in nicely with Penny realizing earth could be her home and that she dosen’t have to constnatly fight to have a purpose, Lena finally accepting magic instead of running from it and thus gaining peace of mind and power to stop her former abuser from hurting anyone else, Goldie finally accepting how much she cars about Scrooge and his family and that she CAN change... all of this, except penny obviously has been built up through three seasons and while I DEFINTLY could see frank and matt returning to all of them.. i’ts nice to get some closure.  It feelsd earned and impressive. The episode is also.. REALLY fucking funny, from the weighted blanket gag to Beaks in general, to Huey yelling at fenton about Mama “She somehow broke Louie!”. It’s a masterful and throughly satisfying end to Fenton’s story. And again we’ll likely see him in the finale but character arc wise.. its a good place to end his. 

Next Week: FINALLY, AFTER 10,000 YEARS, IT’S THE TAILSPIN EPISODE. OWEEOOO, OWEEHHHH. 

Tommorow: We return to the noiry furry world of John Blacksad as everyone’s favorite panther detective battles white supremacists to find a missing girl and we’re introduced to your faviorite sidekick and mine Weekly. 

Later on this week: The Lena retrospective continues with Jaw$, we celebrate Tex Avery’s birthday, and I tackle the awful original tom and jerry movie. 

So if any of that tickles your fancy see you at the next rainbow

#ducktales #beaks in the shell! #beaks in the shell #fenton crackshell cabrera #gandra dee #huey duck #mark beaks #gyro gearloose #mama cabrera #little bulb #manny the headless manhorse #gizmoduck #ducktales spoilers

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes". (#I’mHereToKillYouAllWithFeels)

Furious didn’t begin to cover it. Penelope was practically shaking with rage as she made her way into the cool of night.   It was almost nice to feel something other than heartbreak though.

She couldn’t quite put a finger on who she was mad at. It was more a general anger that had been building up for some time.  The proposal had just been a triggered that sent it bubbling up.

She’d had to leave her home or she knew she would have done far worse than raise her voice or walk away from a proposal.  She had spent years dreading the moment she came of age to become part of society.

She’d been a particularly normal child and she knew that once upon a time her mother had treated her much the same she treated her other children.  Her sisters had always been naturally thin, perfectly average but she had always been softer.  Her mother had assumed she’d outgrow the baby fat but it never happened and the older she became, the more her mother saw fit to constantly insult her.

It was a nearly daily battle attack of her appearance and when it wasn’t that, it was something else.  At some point, she’d stopped thinking she’d ever amount to much of anything.  She never quite felt enough. Her mother had ensured as much. When her mother all but deemed her ineligible, she believed it to be true.

That was why she became skilled into camouflaging into walls.  If people didn’t notice her, they couldn’t hurt her.  Only part of her plan had worked.  The problem was that she did care.  She wanted to be the person who got asked to dance. She wanted someone to deliver her flowers. She wanted to be enough for someone.

She had been.

Her mind couldn’t quite believe the words that Colin had written her though. The last words he would ever write her.  There wouldn’t be any romance from Mister Bridgerton.

The fact that Benedict thought that he could just come, propose to her and everything was going to turn out okay was preposterous.

Sure, she knew he was a good guy. That wasn’t her problem though.

She’d spent half her life praying that one day she’d wake up and just be part of the Bridgerton family instead of her own.  She couldn’t do this though; She refused to accept a proposal borne of grief or sympathy.

She wouldn’t curse someone to the misfortunate of being stuck with her, especially when she knew that they weren’t in love with her nor she them.  Her mother would have found it foolhardy to even care about such things but for Penelope Featherington there was nothing more important.

Penelope wasn’t sure that anyone actually loved her. Even Colin had called her a friend.  She project her own feelings into his words a million times over but they didn’t make them his. She wouldn’t have believed them even if he uttered them to her.

That didn’t change the fact that Colin Bridgerton was the only man that she’d ever loved and in the depths of her heart, she wasn’t sure there was room for anyone else.

Colin had been there since he was a boy and even he would never be an old man, he��d be there in hers until her time came.

Perhaps that was why her feet carried her through the streets almost absently until she found herself pushing past a gate and into a darkened graveyard with an adjacent church.  It was almost eerie with the silence.

She made her path through the graves, not even stopping in her own family tomb where she knew her own father laid.  Instead she moved, not settling until she saw the Bridgerton name.  Without a body, Colin would never be placed there amongst his family members.

--

A gloved hand touched her back from behind and it was enough to startle her, made her turn in panic.  As childish as it was, she half expected to see a ghost. Instead she saw something far scarier: Violet Bridgerton.

The last time she’d seen the matriarch of the family, she’d been crumbling but the woman before her seemed back to her usual strength, though clearly sad.

“I apologize for startling you,” Violet said before her eyes seemed to access the situation and concern spread across her features.  “It’s not safe for a Lady such as yourself to be wandering after dark alone, improperly covered for the night.  You’ll freeze, My Dear.  What are you doing out here?”

“I – was,” Penelope stammered, mildly afraid and unable to really formulate an excuse in her head.  A part of her wondered just how much Violet knew of everything. She wasn’t about to ask.  Instead she recovered, nodded politely and said, “You’re unaccompanied yourself, Lady Bridgerton.”

“Violet, Dear,” she told her with a sad laugh, urging the informality. “I suppose that’s fair. I always sneak out when the children are distracted or asleep, especially when I wish to visit with their father.  I wasn’t aware he already had an audience tonight. Has he been much help?”

Penelope felt relief wash over her in a way.  She felt she had been let in on some really important adult secret.  She couldn’t help but wonder if any of Violet’s children knew about their mother’s habit.  There was something weirdly comforting in knowing that the woman still sought out her husband even though he’d been dead for so long.

Violet’s devotion to her husband was so endearing that Penelope couldn’t help but feel safe to speak openly.

“Sadly no,” Penelope told her.  “Though, I suppose the fact that you’re here could be an answer in itself. I’m sorry if I’m intruding on your time.”

Was this a sign?  Had Colin directed his mother here from Heaven to show her that even if he was gone it was okay to love him forever?

“It’s not an intrusion.  I’d be remiss to not side with you and say that this meeting was kismet,” the elder Bridgerton told her.  “Please unburden yourself on me.  My children think I’m so delicate that they’ve taken to keeping everything from me, forcing my convalesce instead of letting me attend to them and they’re the ones who need their mother most right now.”

Never in her life had she wanted Violet Bridgerton to be her mother more.

“Funny,” she started with a light smile. “They’re treating me much the same. Less mothering, more thinking I need to be … taken care of.”

“Do you not wish to be?” Violet asked, almost disregarding that there could possibly be more questions to ask before that for context. There was something in the look in her eyes that told Penelope that somehow the older woman knew far more than she was saying though.

“Not like this,” Penelope told her honestly.

“I take my role as mother very seriously. I’ve always known my children and the things that make them who they are.  I’ve known that you fancied my son for far longer than probably even you are aware. I’m also aware that of his many gifts, being quick on the uptake isn’t one of them,” Violet started in, leaving Penelope to awkwardly shift on her feet.  “Colin is – was – remarkable and I have no doubt he could have made you very happy but as his mother, I have to urge you to not miss out on life mourning him. Graveyards are lonely places to spend one’s time sneaking away to.”

“It’s not-“ Penelope started, wanting to protest a little and perhaps explain.

“No, you listen to me. When my Edmund died, the world ceased spinning on its axis. It took a considerable amount of time to find my footing again.  I had to learn to navigate life again. My children are who restored me. They healed me and every day I strive to heal them.  Grief doesn’t fade but you learn to live without those who leave you. My children are the living, breathing proof of a great love that exists only in my heart these days. They give my life meaning as they grow and begin their own lives. You must find what gives your life meaning. You do not have to let Colin go from your heart to leave room for others to enter it.”

“I don’t think anyone is exactly fighting for room in my heart,” Penelope finally managed to say. She still wasn’t completely sure how much her older companion knew. Would she be speaking to her in such a manner if she did.   “I don’t think I’m meant for a great love like yours. Not now.”

“Honestly Penelope Featherington!” Violet said with a motherly tick.  “You’re a delight. I’ve known you since the day your mother birthed you.  I won’t hear this because it’s simply not true. You were always destined for greatness. You’re just a caterpillar who hasn’t quite transformed into a butterfly yet.  Someone was always bound to see you for who you are.  I would have loved to have you as a daughter but even if you were never meant to be a Bridgerton, we’ll always be there to remind you of your worth. ”

#polin #⚜ writings — polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 40 Pt 2

They all woke late the next morning, no one in a rush to get to school or work, no mad scramble to court, no phone calls to answer, it felt, wrong, she thought. It felt like she should be doing something other than snuggled up in Gustaf’s arms, in a cabin in the snow, without a care in the world.

“Stopthinking.” Gustaf mumbled and tucked her in closer, her giggle making him crack an eye open.

“It just feels wrong not to be up rushing around.” She said quietly.

“That’s why they call it a vacation love, it’s what you’re supposed to do, or in this case, not do.” He kissed her to stop her from talking, from thinking. Lips seductively devouring hers. “Even Lily got the memo.” He purred, the cabin was silent.

“I guess I’m still learning not to be a control freak.” She scoffed.

“It’ll get better. In a week or so you’ll be dragging your feet not wanting to leave.” He chuckled. Pressing her body against him she kissed that clever mouth, relaxing into it. “Fuck I love it when you kiss me like that.” He growled, lips teasing hers to deepen it.

“Breakfast.” She said when he let her up for air. “I need food.” Her stomach groaned in protest to make her point heard loud and clear.

“I’ll get the kids up.” He kissed her again, that relaxed smile splitting his face.

“Are you ok?” She asked him, trailing a finger down his jaw.

“I am. I can’t change what’s happened, I can’t control what she does. I’ll keep us safe, that’s my job, and that’s what I need to focus on, us, this, the kids. That’s what’s important.” He kissed her tenderly. “Are you ok?” She nodded.

“I let it get the better of me yesterday, but I’m ok. She doesn’t get to ruin this, what we have, our family.” Her hand splayed out over his chest. “I promised I’d fight for you Gustaf, for us.” He hooked a finger under her chin and tipped it up so she had no choice but to look at him.

“You do fight for us love, quite viciously.” He kissed her. “And you fight for my family, protect them as well.”

“Sometimes I feel like it’s not enough, that I can’t do enough to protect those that I love.” Her voice was quiet.

“It’s more than enough.” He smiled kindly at her. “You are enough love.” He said gently, echoing her words she’d said to him a million times. “You are enough for me.” He smiled at her soft chuckle.

“I’ve been thinking.” She blurted out.

“When are you not.” He cut in with a smirk.

“True. I’ve been thinking about making partner.” She started, and chewed on her bottom lip. He didn’t growl, just pried it from between her teeth with his thumb and kissed her slowly. It wasn’t the right time for that game.

“And?” He asked, that low tone seductive.

“I want to give it a try, I want to do it.” The hesitation in her voice gutted him, the unsureity.

“Then do it.” He said honestly.

“It’s just... it’s taking a lot on, and it’ll mean changing a few things with the kids and then you’re awa...” He kissed her, deepening it when she went to speak again.

“Do it love, take partner when they offer it to you and we’ll make the rest work. You don’t need my permission.” He tangled his fingers in her hair and watched it fall through his fingers.

“I know I don’t, but it’s a lot and I don’t think I can do it without you.” His eyes snapped to hers, his eyebrow raising slowly.

“You could, and you know you could.” He growled, and flicked her nose.

“It would kill me in the end.” She said seriously. “I’d run myself into the ground and the kids wouldn’t be as happy as they are now.”

“Probably.” He kissed her sweetly. “It worries you, the kids?”

She nodded. “I don’t want to throw more at them to adjust to. This past year has been difficult enough.”

“Take partner love, it’s what you’ve worked your ass off for. We’ll figure out a nanny and housekeeper to lighten the load, a cleaner, even when I’m home. That way we can spend more time with the kids. Whatever you need love. We’ll help them adjust, just like we’re doing now.” He would give her anything if it meant she was doing what she needed to do. He knew how important her independence was, her career, no way was he letting anything or anyone stand in her way.

“You’re sure?” She asked.

“Positive. You’re not on your own anymore and you have nothing to prove to me or anyone love. If it’s what you want to do, then do it, we’ll figure the rest out together as we go.” Her nod told him she wasn’t quite convinced. That would change with time, he’d see to it.

“Do you think Alice would come work for us full time?” She asked softly. “The kids already know her, we know her.”

“I can ask.” And if he paid her enough she’d probably jump at the chance, he thought.

“I was also thinking about my apartment.” Once she started all her thought came flooding out.

“Do you ever stop thinking?” He joked and her laugh had him grinning.

“No, I really don’t.” She chuckled at herself.

“What about your apartment love?” His fingers toying with a stray wave of burnished copper.

“I’d like to knock the wall out and merge the two. Bigger space as the kids get older, a place for them to have friends stay for sleep overs.”

“I like that.” Additional room for kids of our own, he added silently. “You want me to look into it?”

She nodded. “Yes.” Blowing a breath out he realized she was nervous. “Yes I do.”

“These are some pretty big decisions love.” He was a little shell shocked at what she’d just put in motion.

“It’s a new year, I’m starting a new page, moving forward. I’m still grieving and it hurts, but I can’t keep shoving life to the side because of it.” Her voice quiet. He kissed her sweetly.

“That’s my girl.” He murmured against his lips. “So strong.”

“I want this with you, Gustaf.” She said softly. “I want it all with you, and I need to stop holding you and our future together at arms length because of the grief.” Her statement floored him, rocked him to his soul. “It’s not fair on either of us or the kids.”

“I love you Sildie, I want this with you too.” His kiss was nothing short of toe curling. “I want everything with you.”

“Does it scare you?” She asked hesitantly.

“Fucking terrifies me.” He smiled. “But it’s real, this, what we have, is real and it terrifies me because it’s something I can lose. It’s something I can fuck up if I don’t stay on top of my shit.” And he was heartbreakingly serious. He knew he’d lose her and the kids if he let Ana or his demons get the upper hand.

“Scares me too.” She smiled and kissed him sweetly.

“We’re making it work love, in our own way, together.” He kissed her tenderly. “I’ll fight for us too, for you, for the kids.”

“Sweet man I know you will, you have already.” And he had, he’d been protecting her, fighting for her. New Year’s Eve, Elias, the car. Her stomach growled again and she giggled.

“I think we need to feed that monster before it eats you from the inside out.” He chuckled.

“I love you Gustaf.” She said gently and kissed him so his mind blanked.

“And I adore you my love. Come on, up, food, and kids, and hiking.” He kissed her quickly before ripping the covers off, jumping out of bed, and pulling on some sweats. If he stayed another moment he’d be there all day making love to her. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, but the kids would certainly get an education when they came looking for them.

She heard the soft sobs change to delighted squeals from Lily as her dad dad came and rescued her from her crib, the giggles from the boys as he roused them, he was so good for them. Sildie got breakfast started as the boys dressed, Gustaf entertaining Lily and making tea. She loved this, the mundane tasks with him beside her, they were the moments she cherished most, normal, home, a family unit. They ate together, their meal times becoming something Gustaf had grown fond of. It was the time to voice opinions, troubles, issues, work out how they were going to tackle something, or just strengthen the bond that they’d all been working hard on. Today it was all about where they were hiking to and what cookies were being packed for their picnic. Not a life or death situation, but it was all about the cookies, and to seven year old twins, that was about as life or death as it could get. Just before lunch they headed out, a short two mile hike to the lake where they could have their picnic. “We’re following the blue trail markers boys, keep the markers on your right hand side to stay on the trail.” Gustaf said as they took off at breakneck speed to explore. “They do realize there are things in these woods that will eat them.” He snarked and Sildie laughed. “They are snack size after all.”

“They make enough noise to scare anything away.” She smiled, fuck he loved that smile, carefree and happy.

“True.” He snorted. With Lily between them, a hand in each as she walked and giggled, they set off to follow the boys.

Sildie was right, they made enough noise to scare anything away and make it easier to keep track of their location. Every so often they would run back to Gustaf and tell him what they’d seen or found. Gustaf carried Lily when she started to fuss, the little lady enjoying herself perched up high in his arms pointing at everything and anything as she took in the big wide world. Her tiny hand tapping gustafs cheek as she pointed to things, chattering to him almost non stop. Sildie lagged behind to take some photos, her leggy man and Lily, the boys having an impromptu snowball fight, the vision before them as the lake came into view, family.

“Stay on the trail boys or we’ll lose you in a snow drift.” Gustaf said in that serious dad tone.

When they reached their destination they found a nice spot down by the water which was frozen solid. “Stay off the ice.” Gustaf growled as Liam went to explore. That lurch in the gut made Gustaf want to hurl, as he had a split second vision of the child falling through the ice and getting dragged under by the current. Liams foot stopped mid air with a jolt before joining its mate back on solid ground. “We’ll look at it in a bit to make sure we’re not going to fall through ok?” He softened his tone and Liam nodded coming back to their picnic blanket. Gustaf ruffled the his hair as he came to sit down beside him. “I’m not out to spoil your fun, but we don’t want you falling through the ice.” Liam nodded and hugged Gustaf.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. “I didn’t think of that.”

“It’s ok, I’m not angry, just don’t want you hurt. It would be very cold and the current would pull you under quickly.” He said gently. “We don’t want that.” Liam shook his head and hugged Gustaf tighter.

“Can we explore later?” He asked quietly, looking up at him, all wide eyed and hopeful.

“We can.” Gustaf smiled at the kid. He hadn’t meant to sound so gruff, but at least it got the kid to stop and think.

“Cool.” He chirped and hugged Gustaf tighter.

Sildie watched the interaction between them. And he says he’s not good at the dad thing, she chuckled internally. That was such a dad voice and dad thing to do, her heart swelled, that one thought circling.

“Maybe we can bring some skates next time.” Brendan said.

“There might be some in the closet back at the cabin, we can look later and come back in a few days if the weather is good.” Gustaf said taking Lily from Sildie while she got the picnic unpacked.

“I’ll look.” Brendan nodded and helped Sildie with the food.

It was one of those picture perfect days, snow and ice a blanket over the earth, blue skies and the sun smiling down, that breath of wind that kept things comfortable. After eating, trash stashed into the backpack, Sildie sat with Lily while the boys explored. She videoed them heading onto the ice, Gustaf with a twin in each hand, Brendan helping to test the ice with a stick. Gustaf had obviously done this sort of thing before and it was a good lesson for the boys. So good with them, she thought as she watched Finn slip a little and Gustaf stop him from going teeth first into the ice. That one question surfaced inside her again, did she want kids with him, did she want them at all? The panic hadn’t come with the thought this time, just a resounding calm as if she already knew the answer deep down. She smiled as her mind pictured him with their own kids, a future together where they raised a family with children that were the best parts of them. Turning the video off she blew out a breath. “I want kids with you.” She breathed, the barely there whisper screaming in her head. “A future together with a family of our own.” Looking down at Lily she smiled as the child chattered her usual mum mum mum. “God I’m such a hypocrite.” She snorted. “Before I met your dad dad I never wanted kids of my own, even taking you guys were a stretch. Now here I am sitting with my ass in the snow actually contemplating getting pregnant to a man I’ve known less than a year, but love so completely.” She lifted up a giggling Lily and kissed her neck loudly, blowing raspberries and making the the tiny girl squeal. “What’s another one huh? I’m already shackled to you four, what’s few more?” She grinned at her and snuggled her close as Lily hugged her. “I guess I need to talk to dad dad. I’m pretty sure he wants kids but we need to make sure first.” The vision of Gustaf sitting in front of the fire at their cabin, the tiny bootie in his fingers before he placed it in the flames flooded her mind. Ana and her lies aside, he’d wanted that child, devastated that it had been a fabrication. Focusing on the four figures in the distance she felt her heart explode with love. Was she seriously contemplating this? She blew out a steadying breath. “Yeah, I’m thinking it.” She muttered. “But what if he doesn’t want them, what then Lily bear? What if it causes him to spiral?” It was the one thing that shadowed her thoughts. After what Ana did to him she’d have to approach it carefully. It was a decision for them as a couple, not just her. “Dad dad dad.” She chattered. “Yeah, he makes a great dad dad doesn’t he?” She smiled. “I guess I’ll just have to ask him.” She watched as the boys started heading back toward her, those thoughts running through her mind as to how she was going to approach the subject. “Something to occupy my time over the next few days.” She snorted a sigh and grinned as the twins were slipping and sliding all over the place, their giggles echoing back to her.

Sitting with her on the blanket the boys told her about everything they saw, the pictures that Gustaf had taken, so much happiness, she thought. This was what she wanted for them. Stability, love, a man that could be there for them, family.

“Cookie time.” Gustaf said flopping down next to Sildie, those outrageously long legs folding up under him. He kissed her, that gorgeous smile plaster across his face, the calmness of a man at peace with the world around him.

“Keykey.” Lily chattered as she crawled to Gustaf, the little lady wanting her dad dad.

“Yes even for you little monster.” He chuckled and kissed her noisily. They devoured the two packets of fudge chocolate chip cookies, the hike back to the cabin would be enough to burn off the sugar high. Packing up, Gustaf pulled Sildie to him, a moment to just stop and take in the view with her. “See that little hill, all the way over the other side of the lake?” He murmured at her ear, pointing to where he was talking about.

“I see it.” She said, desire coiling in her belly at that lean body at her back.

“That’s the ridge we hiked to on our weekend away, our cabin is on the other side of it.” He kissed her temple and held her against him, breathing in her scent.

“Really?” She turned her head sharply and looked at him, surprise in her eyes.

“Really. Over there for adult time, over here for family time.” He kissed her tenderly.

“Oh I do like the sound of that.” She sighed as the residual tension in her body relaxed.

She heard the giggles a split second before Gustaf froze, his body going stiff as a board. “Excuse me a moment love, I have to go bury a few kids in a snow drift. Be right back.” He grinned against her neck, kissing her just below her ear before pulling away and chasing the boys. They’d thrown a snowball at him and it had gone down the inside of his jacket. She knew she should stop them for fear of them catching a chill, but she couldn’t, the laughter and smiles would be worth the head cold. He got them back in turn, his snowballs significantly larger than theirs, grins just as big. Even Lily got in on the action, running up to each of her brothers and tossing handfuls of snow at them, giggling and squealing as they tossed tiny bits of snow back at her. Setting out for the cabin he walked with the boys as Sildie walked with Lily, the bonding time important for them. Lily was determined to walk and Sildie felt like she was half dragging the poor child. Eventually she wanted up, her little legs all tuckered out and soon she was snuggled against Sildie’s shoulder half passed out, half chattering to her mum mum.

Gustaf took a deep breath as he walked with the boys, the ease of their conversation settling his nerves. There was a question he needed to ask them, one that had been circling his head for a while and he needed to know where he stood. “Hey boys can I ask you something? Get your thoughts?” He said softly, he didn’t want his voice to carry back to Sildie.

“Are we in trouble?” Finn asked as the twins looked at each other and then at Gustaf.

“No.” He chuckled, ruffling the kids hair. “You’re not in trouble, I just needed to ask you something that I’ve been thinking about. Get your input.” Damn he was so fucking nervous.

“Why?” Liam asked somewhat baffled that an adult would be asking for their opinion about anything important.

“Because we’re a family.” Brendan said softly, and Gustaf could see the touch of grief in his eyes as the teen looked at him.

“That’s exactly why.” Gustaf murmured. “We are a family, and good or bad, your thoughts and opinions matter to me. It’s important.” He took a steadying breath and continued. “You know that I love you guys, Lily too, like you were my own kids. And you know I love Sildie, that we’ve been working together to make us as close to a family unit as we can.” All three glanced at him slightly confused as they kept walking. “I love what we have, the family we have become, and I would like to take it a step further and ask Sildie to marry me, but I need to know how the three of you would feel about that?” He said carefully.

“Like our mum and dad were?” Liam asked and it broke Gustaf heart to hear that longing in the child’s tone.

“Yes, like your mum and dad were.” He said gently, his soul ached for them. This had to drag up the grief and he felt sick for asking, but he wasn’t going to be that guy, the one that just did whatever he wanted regardless of how the kids felt. They needed to have their voices heard, their emotions and feeling taken into consideration. Marrying Sildie meant marrying all five of them, this affected them too and they had to be ok with it.

“Does that mean you’d be our dad forever?” Finn asked tentatively.

Gustaf couldn’t help the smile, the way a child’s mind worked still amazed him. “If that’s what you want me to be, then yes. If you want it to stay as it is, that’s fine too.” He paused and looked at Brendan, the teen deep in thought. He knew where this conversation was going to go, something else Gustaf was nervous about. “You don’t have to give me an answer today, but I’d like you to think about it.”

“Would we have to change our last name?” Brendan asked quietly.

“No.” Gustaf said shaking his head. “Sildie doesn’t have to change her name if she chooses not to. That will be her decision.”

“But don’t we have to if you two get married?” He asked, brow creasing. “Mum and dad were married so we have their last name. If you marry aunt Sildie then we’d have to take your name right?”

“It wouldn’t work that way for us B. If Sildie and I were to get married she can choose to take my last name, hyphenate it, or keep it as O’Rourke. If we were to have children of our own they would have my last name or the hyphenated name on their birth certificate. The only way the four of you could take my last name or hyphenate it, is if you choose to legally change it when you turn eighteen.” He watched Brendan carefully as he spoke again. “Or I adopt you. And even then, it’s your choice.” These were tricky questions and he wasn’t sure if he was just shooting himself in the foot with it all. “A choice and decision I won’t force on any of you.”

“Do you want to adopt us?” Brendan asked, the words more a mumble as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to ask or know the answer.

“Only if that’s something the four of you want. I won’t push B.” Gustaf said gently.

“But is that what you want?” He asked a little more forcefully. The kid had some balls when it mattered. He was thinking long term and how it would affect them all.

“The short answer, yes.” He wasn’t going to fuck around with this. Brendan needed a straight up answer to know where he stood. “Yes, I want to marry Sildie and adopt all four of you. But it’s not as cut and dry as all that. Legally, Sildie is your guardian and responsible for you until you’re eighteen. I’m not sure how it all works and it’s something we’d all have to discuss as a family before we started to actually do anything along those lines. Ultimately Brendan that decision is Sildie’s. Until you’re eighteen, what she says, goes, in the legal guardian department.” He let the quiet take them a few more steps before continuing. “Anyway, that’s what I’d like to do, but it’s not about what I want, you all have a say in this, Sildie too. Because I also understand that it might feel like you’re betraying your father, forgetting him, or replacing him. I love you guys and want to be as much of a dad like person to you as you’ll allow me to be. But if what we have now is the absolute limit, then I’m ok with that. If you’d like me to adopt you then I’m ok with that too.” Gustaf watched the teens shoulders relax. “Think about it, there’s no rush. Think about whether it’s something you’d want and would be comfortable with. I won’t push or force it and I won’t bring it up again unless you guys want to talk about it, ok?”

“I’d like it if you were to marry mum, she needs you, we need you.” Brendan nodded and glanced at Gustaf. “And you need her. You’re happier with her. But the whole adoption thing, I need to think about.” The teen said quietly, his thought process much like Sildie’s. Gustaf knew the kid was conflicted. “I just don’t know.”

“That’s all I’m asking B.” He smiled, gaze flicking to the kid.

“We want you to marry mum too.” Finn said in a hushed whisper.

“I don’t know if want to change my name.” Liam mumbled, he said it so quietly that Gustaf almost missed it.

“And that’s ok, Liam.” Gustaf said gently and saw the more outspoken twin relax.

“But I’ll think about it.” He added, jumping around kicking snow.

“When are you going to ask her?” Brendan asked.

“I don’t know yet, I wanted to be sure you boys were ok with the idea first.” Gustaf said quietly.

“Were ok with it.” Finn grinned.

“Then I guess I need to make proposal plans.” He chuckled.

“Can we help?” Liam asked.

“Sure, but we have to keep this strictly between us men.” Gustaf said seriously. “I may need you guys to run interference so she doesn’t figure it out. Keeping it from her won’t be easy.”

“You do know she hates surprises.” Brendan chuckled. “And keeping anything from her is a bad idea. You do know she’s a lawyer, she’ll sniff out anything not legit.”

“I know.” Gustaf grinned. “But it’ll be a fun ride.”

“You’re crazy.” The teen laughed.

“A little.” Gustaf smiled wide, this had gone much better than he could have ever hoped for.

By the time they arrived back at the cabin all four kids were ready for pajamas, food, and quiet time.

“Go be with the boys I’ll get Lily down.” Sildie said softly as Gustaf helped her get her boots off with an almost asleep Lily in her arms.

“Night Lily bear.” He said kissing her head, the stroke of her hair making her eyes droop even further. “I’ll get a bottle for her.”

It wasn’t late, but the fresh air and sunshine and the physical activity had wiped the kids out. Good, she thought as she sat Lily down and undressed her, they’d had such a good time and it was only day one.

“Dad dad dad.” She sobbed as Sildie snuggled her in all dry and warm.

“He’s coming sweet girl.” She soothed, rocking her from side to side to get her back into sleep mode. There were times where she would have freaked out at holding a child let alone sooth one to sleep, now it was just second nature. “Maybe I can do this.” She whispered, her lips against Lily’s head lightly kissing her. “You’ll have to help me Lily.” She smiled.

And then there he was, all 6’4” of him framed in the doorway like the Viking god he was, damn she was so gone over him. So deeply, so completely in love with him, with every fiber of her being.

His heart almost stopped at the sight of her soothing Lily, damn he wanted kids with her, their own kids. He loved the boys, adored Lily, but he craved children of their own, a part of him, a part of Sildie.

Moving to her quietly he brushed a finger down her cheek before kissing her sweetly, gently rocking with her so he could hold them both close to him. “My two best girls.” He murmured, the soft dad dad of a nearly asleep child making him smile. “Want me to take her?”

“I think she wants you anyway.” She chuckled as she handed Lily over, her tiny hand scrunching in Gustaf shirt. “She’s ruined you for all other women.” She snorted.

“No, you did that all on your own love.” He quipped and kissed her, the slow smoldering kiss that had her nearly begging for more. “You’re the only woman for me.” He growled, desire shooting straight to her core. “The only one I want.” He kissed her again and lingered, tongue teasing, his arousal spiking through his system.

“You’ll have to show me how much you want me later.” She purred, her lips ghosting his as Lily fussed wanting her bottle and her dad dads full attention.

“Count on it kitten.” He devoured her mouth before pulling back with a chuckle as she stared at him stunned.

“That’s illegal.” She breathed. “You can’t kiss me like that.”

“Can, and will do it again, repeatedly. I might show you a few other illegal things later.” He pecked her cheek. “Brendan’s starting dinner.”

“I’ll go supervise.” Walking out of the room she stopped at the doorway and watched him feed Lily her bottle, soothe her in that low timbre she adored. Yes, she thought with a little more conviction, I want kids with you.

She came into the kitchen to find the twins helping out by setting the table and Brendan stirring the pasta sauce. “That smells really good, as always. Need any help?”

“Nope I got it.” Brendan grinned, the kid was at home in the kitchen and happy, so very happy. She’d not seen that smile in over a year.

“You boys have fun today?” There was a chorus of yes.

“The lake was awesome, I hope we can go down and skate later.” The teen said as he put the water on for the pasta to boil.

“But I don’t know how to skate.” Finn said and Liam nodded.

“That’s ok I’ll teach you.” It was the nonchalant shrug of his shoulders that made Sildie tear up. He could have bitched and moaned about having to teach his younger brothers to skate, taking time away from his own ice time, but he didn’t. Such a sweet soul, she thought.

“Really?” Finns face lit up.

“Sure, be ready for a sore butt though. You’re gonna fall over more than skate until you get the hang of it.” Brendan chuckled at remembering his first time on a pair of skates.

“Can you skate mum?” Liam asked, the endearment catching her off guard for a split second. She still wasn’t used to it.

“I can, it’s been a long time though. My butt will probably be sore too.” She scoffed.

“That’s ok I’ll kiss it better.” Gustaf murmured at her ear as he wrapped an arm around her waist holding her close.

“I bet you will.” Her voice thick with sarcasm.

Brendan served dinner and they sat around the large dining table to eat, talking of the day and what they were going to do tomorrow. With the building of a snow fort decided, Gustaf found some ice cream and dished out three scoops each, watching the boys eyes go wide before they devoured it. It wasn’t long before the twins were yawning, Brendan a little beat too.

Gustaf read to them by the fire again, the sound of his voice soothing not only the kids, but Sildie as she took care of the dishes and secretly filmed their story time. He would need these moments to look back on when he was away. And that was something she was dreading, twelve lonely weeks without him beside her would feel like an eternity.

She’s been so wrapped up in her thoughts she only realized he was behind her when those talented hands found her hips, the tender kiss to her temple.

“Leave them.” He murmured. “And dance with me.”

As she dried her hands and turned she could hear the jazz whispering around the cabin. She’s been so zoned out in her own head she hadn’t heard him put it on. Stepping into him as his arms held her to him she saw the boys reading, content and happy. Swaying to the soft tune she lost herself in the moment of just the two of them. A moment where they were both at peace, no outside stressors, just the love between them.

“How did I get so lucky to be with you?” He asked, the tenderness in his voice soothing her soul.

“I think it’s us who are the lucky ones.” Her gaze met his, ocean blue looking back before she kissed him with a love so deep he thought he’d drown in it.

“I’m so in love with you Sildie.” He whispered.

They both stopped as a pair of arms circled around them, Brendan hugging them both. The grip the teen had on Gustaf told him the kid wasn’t doing ok. The soft sob a moment later confirmed it.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, trying to reign in his emotions.

“B, honey what’s wrong?” Sildie said gently. Gustaf went to pull away to give them room but she held him there. “Talk to me love.” She murmured and held him to her, an arm wrapped around both Gustaf and Brendan.

“I’m happy. You’re here with Gustaf, and we have a family and I’m happy but I’m sad too.” He sobbed. “It’s not fair because I want mum and dad, but if they were still here we wouldn’t be here with you. And then I feel bad because I’m happy with you and I shouldn’t be wanting mum and dad now. And then I’m angry because they left us. They didn’t fight to stay here. They just left.”

Gustaf wrapped both Brendan and Sildie up in his arms, effectively sandwiching the kid between them. He felt like an ass. Had this been because of their discussion earlier today? Had he set the kid up to spiral? His mind reeled as Sildie talked to Brendan. How did he make this better?

“You’re right B, they left, and you have every right to be angry at them for leaving. But they fought honey. They fought so hard to stay here.” She said as her fingers smoothed his hair. “Your mum fought to hold on so Lily could live.”

He heard Sildie’s voice break and that alone killed a piece of him inside.

“But sometimes the body is so damaged it can’t be fixed or fix itself love.” Gustaf heard the tears in her voice and kissed her temple, lingering, trying to offer any comfort to the two of them that he possessed.

“They loved you Brendan, so much, and you’re right it really isn’t fair.” Her heart was breaking for him.

“I just don’t know how to feel sometimes.” Brendan mumbled, tears streaking his cheeks.

“You’re torn between the love for your mum and dad, and the love for the family we are trying to become.” Gustaf said gently and Brendan nodded. “It’s ok not to know how to feel about it. It’s ok to miss them, to be angry at them, to want them here instead of us.” Brendan looked at Gustaf wide eyed. “It’s ok B. They were your parents, it’s normal to want them to be here over me and Sildie.”

“You’re not mad?” The teen asked in a whisper so soft Gustaf barely heard him, as if the teen didn’t want to voice the question.

“No B, I’m not mad. You’re always going to want them over us, it’s normal and I doubt it will change. We just want to give you the best and closest thing to a family as we can. The only thing that matters is that you’re all safe, happy, and loved. The rest of it we can figure out as we go along.”

“I’m sorry.” Brendan said again sniffing. “I kinda ruined tonight.”

“You ruined nothing love.” Sildie said softly, and kissed his forehead as he hugged her tighter. “We are a family and this is what a family does. We cry, we talk, we figure it out, together.”

“Love you.” He mumbled into her shoulder and Sildie felt him relax.

“I love you too. So much honey.” Sildie said and looked up at Gustaf, the overwhelming comfort she felt from him wrapping around them. His fingers drawing patterns on her lower back to ease the tension she felt, keeping her anxiety and panic leveled. The soft kiss to her forehead reassuring her that they were ok and to roll with it.

“Shall we make some hot chocolate? Pancakes? Because let’s face it, Gustaf’s pancakes make everything better.” She smiled at Brendan as wiped the tears away with her thumb before kissing his brow.

“Pancakes.” The kid nodded.

“Well I guess I’ve been voluntold.” Gustaf quipped and Brendan grinned swiping the tears away and pulling himself together.

“I’ll help.”

“Come on then.” He kissed Sildie’s cheek and lingered, gauging whether she needed a moment or not. “Breathe love.” He murmured and heard the shuddered breath out. “It’s all ok. Just breathe for me ok?”

Her kiss was chaste, the thank you evident in it’s harsh contact. Emphasized by her thumb brushing his crows feet. Lines she adored, that comforted her.

They ate pancakes in front of the fire, the twins curling up with Brendan sensing he needed his siblings. That familiarity of a family broken and long gone, yet a new one forging a closer bond with each day.

Finally with the kids in bed she took a shower, his hands finding her hips shortly after she’d stepped in. Strong fingers wandered the silky skin of her hips, up her torso to cup her breasts, mouth plundering the nape of her neck. He had a hunger for her tonight that needed to be fed. “My Sildie.” He sighed as her head rested back against his shoulder, she was wrung out from the emotional upheaval from earlier.

Her hands reached behind her for his hips, those thighs.

“I want you, every second of every day I want you around me.” He turned her gently before diving his hands into her hair and feasting on her mouth, passion and desire flooded her system as he took what he wanted and gave her everything of himself.

“The water’s not going to stay hot for long enough.” She breathed, slightly unsteady as he let her up for air. Not only would they run out of hot water, the shower was only just big enough for them to stand in and turn around, not really made with water sports in mind. With a silent gentle kiss he soaped the cloth and washed her, tended the body he was about to ravage. As she turned to rinse off he washed quickly, the water already starting to cool.

“Good call on the water.” He chuckled, bundling her into a fluffy towel and holding her to him, the soft kiss stealing her thoughts.

“Yeah I noticed yesterday when I took a bath. Got it about three quarters full and then it started to cool.” She stared up at those dusty blue eyes, the twinkle held such mischief.

“I’ve spoiled you at home.” He grinned, resting his forehead against hers.

“You have.” She snorted as she turned away to clean her teeth.

“Get into bed I’ll be there shortly.” Kissing the dip at her neck as she finished brushing. “This bathroom isn’t big enough for the two of us to be in at the same time.” He watched her go, the deliberate sway of those hips mesmerizing and making his cock twitch.

She was curled up in the middle of the bed by the time he’d finished in the bathroom and turned the lights off for the evening. Tossing another log on the fire he curled up spooned behind her.

That one finger hooked the sheet at her shoulder and tugged it down her body slowly, igniting an inferno along her skin where it touched. She felt him hard against her ass already, his thickness nestled between her cheeks. “There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t crave every inch of you.” He murmured. “To touch you, kiss you, claim you.” He knew what those words did to her, the way it made her wet, turned her on. “I daydream about tying you up and taking you how I want.” His teeth grazed the sensitive curve at her neck which sent a shiver down her spine. “Give yourself to me.” He whispered as he nipped her earlobe. “Let me have you, take you. Let me free you.” He knew what she needed tonight after what Brendan had said. That release he knew he could give her, mental, physical, and emotional freedom.

“Always.” She sighed as those magic hands of his seduced her. Shifting his arm around her he rolled so she was laying on top, her spine pressed against his chest. Large hands gripped her hips and positioned her where he wanted her. Those sinful hands coasted up her abdomen, over her breasts and along her arms to take a hold of her wrists. Bringing them up over her head, he bound them, the soft silk rope kissing her skin arousing her further.

“You like that kitten?” He growled before tucking her hands under his neck, forcing her chest forward.

“Yes.” Her breath hitched as she moved them.

“Too tight? Hurting your bruise?” He still felt that rage simmering deep inside him at the man that had put a mark on her.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Relax your shoulders.” He purred, his fingers easing along her arms, reassuring, guiding. “Better?”

“Yes.” She gasped as he pinched her nipples, gently at first, then a harder pinch and tug sending a shot of pleasure to her clit.

Trailing fingers down her ribs he raised his knees between her legs gently forcing them open. Gripping her thighs he pulled her legs up so her feet were flat on the mattress, hips splayed wide. “Shall I fuck you like this kitten?” He murmured, nipping her shoulder playfully, his fingers dancing along her inner thighs. “Bring your legs up and rest your feet on my thighs. I want you spread wide for me.” His growl was guttural as he gripped her behind the knees gently, guiding her to where he wanted her. “Relax them open.” He purred, hands pressing her inner thighs down, opening them as far as her body would allow. The soft whimper she made had his cock throbbing, those beautiful sounds stirring his arousal. From there she was at his mercy, his to pleasure, his to take what he wanted, when he wanted. “God you’re beautiful like this, all laid out for me.” He breathed as he looked down her body, poised for him to devour. Hands cupped her breasts roughly, skating that fine line between pleasure and actual pain as he pinched her nipples, toyed with her mercilessly. “You’ll have to be quiet kitten, there’s no soundproofing on this place.” She heard the smirk in his tone, felt the smile against her shoulder as he nipped and sucked.

He took his time building her pleasure, touching her everywhere except where she desperately needed. She was practically dripping for him when his hand gripped her throat to gently cradle it where he wanted it, his lips brushing a kiss to her temple. “So wet for me kitten.” He purred as he slipped a finger through her wet heat, that soft gasp making him growl and bite down on her shoulder. Circling her clit those sounds tumbled from her lips as she fought not to come, his fingers stopping as she peaked. That soft whimper making him rock hard. He brought her to the edge of release for what felt like hours, her body desperate to feel him take her. Flexing his hips he reached between their legs and slipped his engorged head over her silken folds, the mushroom tip resting at her entrance flaring it open ready for him. Running both hands up the backs of her thighs from ass to knee he gripped her behind the knees and pulled them up and out to the side. Bound open for him ready to take. “This is the best part about fucking you kitten, the first time I sink into you, the first time I feel you grip me.” He inched into her slowly as he spoke. “The way I fill you.” He groaned and bit her shoulder as he bottomed out. “The way you take all of me.” Her moan was nothing short of a sweet symphony as he stretched her.

Keeping her in that position he began to take her, slow deliberate thrusts in and out, her whimpers turning to quiet cries as she crested. “That’s it kitten, let it claim you.” He kissed her neck, nipping her ear lobe. “Come for me, let me feel you.” He growled as she tensed, the massive release about to tear her apart.

It ripped through her like wildfire, scorching every nerve ending, exploding every brain cell, the barely there cry of his endearment bringing a grin to his face. He didn’t wait for her to recover, placing her feet back on his thighs he widened his feet and pistoned his hips, driving into her deeply. With a hand gripping her throat and one poised at her mound he brought her undone.

Her orgasm was earth shattering, what he was doing to her now, mind blowing bordering on obliteration. Cock pounding into her, hitting all those secret places inside her only he could reach. Hand at her throat, the gentle squeeze heightening her pleasure, and that hand, she knew those clever fingers would dance over her clit at some point and completely destroy her. She gave herself to him, mind, body, and soul. His grunts as he pleasured her, the groans as he found his own, sweet music only for her. His finger slipped over her clit and circled slowly, her body arching at the sensation, muscles straining. Gripping her throat tightly he tipped her over the edge, her climax swamping her. He fucked her deeply as he rode her through it before slowing to a stop.

Guiding her feet to the mattress and bringing her hands down from their position above her head he massaged the stiffness from her shoulders. “On your knees kitten, grip the headboard. I want you hard.” He purred, tender hands guiding her to her knees. Turning her head to face him he kissed her tenderly, always assessing if she was up for it, never wanting to push her too far. She nibbled her bottom lip and he snarled before crushing her mouth with his. “That’s a dangerous game to play kitten when you’re all tied up.”

She hooked her bound hands over his head and pulled him closer for a kiss. “Then why don’t you punish me.” And she bit her lip again to emphasize the point. Fuck he’d put her in a mood and wanted him to spank her. But not here, no, he wanted her at home where she could scream.

Fingers found her chin, the grip firm as he devoured her mouth, gaze assessing, sensing. Gently fisting a hand in her hair he rose up on his knees, his presence dominating and powerful. “So beautiful kitten, but I’ll save the punishment until we get home to our bed.” He purred, lips ghosting hers. “I want you bound and screaming when I spank you.” That soft whimper made him smile. “Hands on the headboard.” He commanded softly, releasing her hair and helping her into the position he wanted her in. “Bend over.” He growled and pulled back, fingers guiding. Leaning over her he caged her in, his hands either side of hers on the headboard. “Love, your curves are something a man would die for.” He murmured, and sat back on his knees raking his fingers down her arms and along the length of her spine, the ripple of arousal at his words skittering over her skin. Her belly was fluttering with anticipation, pussy gushing. Pressing a kiss to each ass cheek he rose up on his knees, stroked a hand up her spine and fisted it in her hair, tugging back until he could see her face, then devoured her mouth thoroughly.

“Do you want to feel what your curves do to me kitten?” His cock was throbbing to be inside her. “How hard they makes me when you swing your hips.”

“Please daddy.” She whimpered, the thought of him taking her like this almost making her drool. She loved this position and when he took her hard.

Pressing his pelvis to her slick heat she whimpered at the contact. She was soaked, his cock sliding along her folds as he continued to erotically torture her. “Do you feel that kitten.” He growled. “Every curve, every look, every kiss, makes me hard, make me think of nothing else but fucking you.” As his mouth came in contact with hers he snapped his hips and filled her in one brutal thrust.

Her orgasm threatened to shatter her, hovering, waiting, and it wasn’t lost on Gustaf.

“That’s it kitten.” He purred. “You’re going to come so hard on my cock, feel every inch of me.” His knees urged her to widen hers as he adjusted his stance and plunged into her again, the fullness of him causing that beautiful whimper to fall from her mouth.

He wasn’t gentle, each thrust deep and powerful, filling her so completely, sending shockwave after shockwave of erotic pleasure through her. She was teetering on the edge, her system going into sensory overload as he thrust in deep. The pleasure was too great to hold back and she came hard, body writhing as he rode her. With a hand still fisted in her hair he slammed into her, hips pistoning. He let his own need come to the surface, to take what he wanted , give what she needed.

Her build to release was quicker this time, system already primed for whatever he was yet to give her. She was bordering on delirium as she peaked.

So beautiful as he fucked her, that gorgeous body all his to pleasure. He let the primal animal in him take over, the need to claim her, dominate her, possess her. She came hard, her pussy gripping him deliciously tight, and he lost himself to the feel of her. He took her roughly, sating his need to claim her. After another three orgasms he gripped her throat as he pounded into her, brutal thrusts deeply fucking her, those sweet sounds urging him to take more. He felt her release peak and drank in the sight before him. What a vision, he thought as he rode her. Hands bound, on her knees, hand fisted in her halo of molten copper, fingers around the column of her throat, riding her hard. A vision of erotic perfection. He tensed, felt them both teeter. Her scream was ragged, his roar much the same as their release consumed them both. “Fuck kitten.” He groaned and pistoned his hips faster, the extra friction prolonging their ecstasy. Spent and sated he stilled, leaning over her he gripped the headboard and nuzzled her neck, chest heaving as he forced oxygen into his lungs.

“Mine.” He growled, his possessive tone sending a warm fuzzy feeling through her. It was never possessive in the sense of actual ownership, she was his, by her own choice, as he was hers.

She couldn’t move for fear of disintegrating into nothing. Quick fingers untied the red silk cord from her wrists, the uncontrollable tremble shuddering through her body as he gathered her into his arms and sat back bringing her with him. Holding her gently he brought her wrists to his lips and kissed them tenderly, her brain trying to process what he’d just done to her.

“You ok love?” He asked, his voice a little distant. It took her a moment to decipher what he’d asked, was she ok? She felt fucking wonderful, body blissed out and lax, mind much the same. “I need to hear it kitten.” He said gently as she nodded.

“I’m ok. Can’t...” Words, he’d completely robbed her of the ability to think and speak.

“Can’t what kitten?” He smirked, kissing her neck as her head thudded back against his shoulder.

“Can’t think.” She mumbled, her breathing only now starting to level out, her mind already drifting into the realm of sleep.

“Good, you’re not supposed to.” His hands roamed, tender strokes to soothe her body, bring it back down from the high they were on. “Did I hurt you?” He asked gently.

“No.” Her voice still distant. “You haven’t asked that in a while.” She said softly.

“Sometimes I feel I need to, just to be sure.” He kissed her temple and helped her to stretch out, the slight hiss at stiff joints something he’d fix in a moment. “I’ll be right back ok?”

“Ok.” She sighed.

He grinned as he pulled on his sweats and went to the bathroom for the massage oil, she’d be asleep by the time he got back.

She’d never felt this good, this relaxed, this satisfied, this free, until she met Gustaf. He knew what she needed. “Thoroughly fucked.” She sighed to herself, and giggled.

Shucking the sweats and crawling in beside her, he started to work the muscles of her shoulder. First one then the other. “Better?”

“Much.” She sighed as his touch soothed her.

“That relaxed you.” His comment soft, lips ghosting hers.

“It did.” She nipped his bottom lip, fingers toying with his scruff. “It’s liberating.” Her simple statement had him looking at her. “I know I have the control to stop it if needed, but there’s something about relinquishing that control to you.” Her eyes searched his. “It’s like for one moment in time I don’t have to be responsible for anything, including myself.” Her kiss floored him as much as her words. “And I like it when you lose control too, take what you need, find the release, the peace it gives you.”

“I’ve only been able to do that with you love. You’re the only one I’ve felt comfortable enough with, knowing I can.”

“Same here. Mutually beneficial.” She smirked.

“Indeed.” His chuckle made her smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, and I love this, what we have.” He kissed her tenderly.

“So do I.”

He snuggled up with her, slender fingers drawing patterns on his chest as his played with her hair.

“Are you ok after what Brendan said?” She asked sleepily.

“More than ok. I’ve been waiting for him to implode for a while.” And he still felt gutted that his conversation earlier in the day may have brought it all to the surface.

“He loves you Gustaf, he’s just torn. I think we all are in our own way.”

“I know.” He kissed her hair and breathed her in, instant calm. He wished he could bottle it. “I know he does. My soul just, hurts for them. For you.”

She moved so she could look at that face carved by Viking gods, and kissed him tenderly. “My sweet man. You never ceases to amaze me.” If the man could blush he would have. “I know that embarrasses you, but you are one of a kind love, they broke the mold with you.”

“I’m only doing what I should be doing.” He mumbled.

“No love, you’re going well beyond that. It’s takes a certain kind of man to accept children that aren’t his flesh and blood as his own. There aren’t many like you left in the world.”

“You’re a package deal Sildie. All five of you or not at all. I’m all in love, have been from day one.”

“It’s why I love you.” She said smiling. “Well that and the mind blowing sex.”

“Added bonus.”

“Indeed.” She snorted. “I need to pee.” She yawned and he reluctantly let her go so she could take care of business.

With Sildie curled into him, he held onto her as she slept. The need to have her close overwhelming. His thoughts wandered to Brendan and he knew he’d need to talk with the kid some more over the next few days. He was glad the teen had finally opened up and hoped Brendan and the twins would come to him if they needed to talk.

“I’ll be asking you soon.” He whispered into her hair. “Before I go away.” He would not leave it fester this time, the words would come easily, because this time she knew he loved her. “Before I leave for Ireland, I’ll be asking you.”

Eventually he succumb to sleep, the activity of the night finally shedding the remaining stress of the past week. Their vacation had well and truly begun.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb

#gustaf skarsgard #shattered lives #gustaf skarsgard fanfiction

[snowwhite-andtheknight]

Mini Fic Rec

Here’s my mini fic rec, for quite a few stories that I ended up not putting in the Bingo Board One, but are just as incredible and deserve to be mentioned. 

Okay, because the Bingo Board left me torn between sharing a few additional stories. Here we go. I recently discovered Eclectic80’s ZenYuki oneshot, Lessons in Self Defense. And it is adorable. I’m a sucker for stories that discuss Shirayuki’s grandparents and what they could have been like. (I want them to show up in canon in flashbacks or something. Shh….) (I think Fruits Basket is partly to blame for this craving. Kyoko is absolutely amazing, and she’s shown through flashbacks.) So, I love that element, the ZenYuki fluff is adorable here as well, and Shirayuki knowing how to throw a punch is incredible and absolutely fitting for her. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12130971 Okay, here’s a couple of lovely AUs. The Most Versatile of Guards by Eclectic80. It’s amazing. I love reading fantasy, and the adventures Obi and Shirayuki go on are pretty fun in it. There’s humor and shapeshifting and slowly falling in love. It’s a lovely read, very much worth your time. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13355589/chapters/30581235 Also, Plumage is amazing! It’s also by Eclectic80, and the story despite being a short multichapter fic, had me hooked from the get go. I actually jumped into it right around the time it only had one chapter, and got super excited every time that it got updated. (It felt like a birthday gift, despite not being updated any time near my birthday.) It’s an absolute delight. (I love Eclectic80’s writing a ton, which is probably pretty obvious now.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13355589/chapters/30581235 blessed are the ignorant by fiesa is a very lovely MitsuKiki oneshot as well. You should check it out as well! It’s fun and character study-ish and relationship study-ish. It’s Zen’s perspective on MitsuKiki and despite being by fiesa, it reads almost like a companion fic to The Five Stages Of Partnership by geneee. It’s really interesting to read them back to back. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11436511/1/blessed-are-the-ignorant Also, I felt like kicking myself when I realized I hadn’t included this in the perfect slot for the Bingo Board, but In love with the monster (under my bed) by Kaedix is honestly an AU I had to look up the source material for. (I love the other AU, I mentioned in my Bingo Board a lot though too, which is why I didn’t change that one to this one.) So, I read this story having no idea that Kaedix hadn’t created this AU from scratch, and so when I found out that there was a webcomic out there with this premise I took the time to read it. (Until I found out I needed an app to read it to the end. I couldn’t justify downloading an app for one comic. But even teh source material is good!) So, I love this story by Kaedix! It’s the first thing that I read by Kaedix, and led to me binge reading Kaedix later on. It’s just amazing! Please go read it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556682 Also, Office Gossip by Lakerae is amazing. It’s on Tumblr, AO3, and Fanfiction, I think it’s on all three anyway. It’s the only story where I could find Kai as a main character, and it’s really, really good! (Also, the ObiYuki versus ZenYuki debate in it is pretty entertaining too.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12775199/1/Office-Gossip Also, Vacancy by ikvros is really, really good. It’s a road trip AU, that basically made me crave a long multichapter road trip AU; I never knew I loved this AU so much, until I read this story. It’s probably the only Road Trip AU that I’ve ever read in any fandom. It’s funny, and mostly friendship, but it includes ZenYuki definitely, develops ZenYuki so to speak. Honestly, it’s a blast. (Obi’s really, really fun in it. The ZenYuki’s really cute as well.) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13032286/1/Vacancy There, I think I covered all of the ones that I left out. If I’m missing one, hopefully, I’ll find a way to share one day. (Also, I have this strong urge to recommend an artist instead of a writer, because there’s an incredible artist that makes amazing comics and art, and I’ve had to rein myself in, and focus on all of the beautifully talented writers, and not mention one of the beautifully talented artists.) (One day, I’ll share. But for now, hopefully, these fic recs fill that void.) I realize I spent most of my time in this mini-fic rec gushing over Eclectic80, whoops. So, I discovered a couple things writing fic recs. Basically, they are really fun and really time consuming to write. I learned how to fill out a Bingo Board on a computer. (Which is impressive, because I’m not all that good at technology.) I rediscovered so many favorite stories of mine from all over the place. (Also, including the links became super helpful for me.) (I save these as documents on my computer first, by the way, which is where I edit them.) I learned just how many of my headcanons are shaped by those that I read, and just how personal these feel to write. So, now, you may know my main sources of inspiration for how to write certain pairings or ideas that ruminate in my head until they just come out on the computer. (You also now know several of my favorite writers, which feels particularly personal in it’s own way.) I also got to reread a bunch of stories and refall in love with them, so that was a lot of fun. Maybe they’ll reinspire me down the road as well, who knows? So, I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings and gushing over all of these incredible writers from both lists and that it was as fun for you and eye opening for you as it was for me. (I also discovered that some writers, I thought I hadn’t read, I’d read and really loved the work of.) :)

#ansficbingo #fic rec #sctwilightvampwolfgal #submission

[the-queer-dungeoneer]

Not Alone (Crowley x Fem! Reader) - Ch. 4/?

Previous / Next

Characters: Reader, Crowley, Aziraphale, Gabriel and likely more once we get into the thick of it.

Relationships: Crowley x Reader, Aziraphale x Reader, Aziraphale x Crowley

POV: First-person

Warnings: Family estrangement, otherwise n/a

Tags: @curse-brekker​, @oopstheregoesmysoul13​, @ellaorelizabeth​

*gif is not mine and neither are any of the characters or source material!

Y/N = your name

Y/N/N = your nickname

Y/L/N = your last name

H/C = Hair color

E/C = Eye color

F/C = Favorite color

A/N: YOOOOOO!! I am so sorry its been so long since an update. I think the pandemic kicked everyone in the face. But here is chapter four. It may be a bit short, but I’m getting back into the swing of things. I promise I WILL finish this fic dammit.

Lots of love! - TQD

Two Weeks Later

It had not surpassed my notice that all our conversations up to this point had been solely focused on me. Aziraphale choicely avoided talking about his family or friends. Honestly, I was the only friend of his I knew, and seeing as I visited him several times a week it was surprising that I had never encountered anyone else that seemed remotely acquainted with him – save for the violet-eyed creep that had taken far too many liberties with my left hand. I had resolved to ask him about it today. After the deep dive we took into my memories a few weeks ago, I found it only fair.

And it was with this determination I strode into the shop. I had brought two scrumptious looking cinnamon rolls from a bakery down the block as a treat. I had a lot of work to do on my case study and he had been called into meetings uptown more than usual, so it seemed necessary.  I was greeted by a small sigh and a shout from the back: “We’re closed for the day. Business will resume tomorrow. Please see yourself out!” With a giggle I retorted, “Alright, but then I would have to eat these cinnamon rolls all by myself!” Then there was a sound of recognition, the creak of a ladder, a crash, and a thud.

“Aziraphale! Are you alright?!” I shouted as I tossed the pastries and my bag on the counter, running towards the clatter.

“Oh dear, Y/N, I’m just fine. You surprised me is all. I didn’t realize the hour. Perhaps the mention of cinnamon rolls got me too excited to look down before attempting my descent.” He spoke with a small smile and a huff as I helped him out of a dusty heap of books. “Oh, blast it!” He sighed, analyzing his mess, “I had these all laid out in order and now I’ve gone and mixed them up. It’ll take me a dog’s age to get them shelved properly.”

“Well, maybe I could help, if you would accept assistance from the girl who led to your downfall in the first place.” I smiled, picking up a few volumes of Dostoyevsky that appeared to be first additions, but that was impossible.

“Oh love, I would never refuse anything from you,” He smiled, brushing dust from his waistcoat. “How about we clear up this mess, and then I’ll put on some tea and we can enjoy those cinnamon rolls?”

“I couldn’t have planned a better afternoon if I tried!”

 And it was a wonderful afternoon. With his direction, I shelved the books where he liked. His system didn’t have a rhyme or reason I could make sense of, but if he was happy, I was happy. The work went must faster with one person on the ladder and one handing off the books. After that, we settled down on the couch in the back room with hot tea and the pastries. I was sure they’d be stale, but miraculously they still tasted oven-fresh. It was curious, but Aziraphale didn’t seem to notice.

We did our usual routine of bouncing between idle chatter and reading. Occasionally a remark on the text would spiral into a tangent on philosophy and the greater good. Finally, when my homework was finished, I got up the courage to say what I’d been thinking.

“Tell me about your family, Aziraphale.”

“Oh, goodness, why ever do you want to know about all that?” He asked. Seeming genuinely alarmed by the question.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to poke a sore subject. It’s just… I have told you so much about myself and my childhood, and I feel like I barely know anything about you. The only person I know of any connection to you is Gabriel, and I hope to God he’s not the only other person in your life.”

He snickered at this and let out a resigned breath. “You’re right, Y/N, it isn’t fair of me to know every detail about your life and not share anything about myself. I find myself, um – estranged from the majority of my family. They don’t particularly agree with the way I live my life,” he began. He didn’t elaborate, but you took it to mean they were ultra-conservative, or something of the like. What other reason could they not want to be around Aziraphale? He was the most delightful person you’d ever met. “And God is good, Gabriel isn’t my only point of contact. I wouldn’t say I have many friends to speak of. I am more of a solitary observer myself. Mostly books and cocoa. But I do have one person I’d say is both my only family and best friend. His name is Crowley.”

“Crowley, huh? Tell me about him!” I was genuinely interested. Who could be the one being to capture this much of Aziraphale’s attention. And tell me he did. He talked about how long they’d known each other. The spats they’d been in. Their stark differences in music and fashion taste. He told me about Crowley’s unsavory colleagues. Occasionally he referred to him as a devil or wiley serpent. Things that would be reviling to call someone if it hadn’t been said with so much fondness. I could tell that, though they seemed polar opposites, Aziraphale cared for Crowley very much.

“He sounds wonderful Aziraphale, I hope I get to meet him some day. Him being your best friend, and all, I’m sure he’s fantastic.”

Aziraphale’s eyes glinted with recognition “Actually, I amend my previous statement. I would say he is one of my best friends.” His smile dimpled his cheeks as he reached out to squeeze my hand. I took his warmly, happy to know he felt the same way I did. “He’s a bit rough around the edges, and work keeps him away most of the time, but maybe someday you two can meet.”

“I look forward to it,” I yawned, checking the clock. I t was nearly midnight and I had class the next morning. “Alright, my darling, I need to head home. Penelope is likely upset that I haven’t turned down the bed for her.”

He chuckled and rose to his feet following me to the door and holding out his arm, “Well then we best start walking, hm?” I took his arm again, ever the gentleman, he rarely let me walk home alone if it was dark out. This was one of the many things I loved about him.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens crowley #good omens fic #good omens aziraphale #good omens x reader #crowley x reader #aziraphale x reader #crowley x aziraphale #Ineffable Husbands

[menswearmusings]

Carmina’s 21st Century Edge

A few years ago at a Drake’s trunk show, I asked Kingsley Blum about the decline of the necktie in mainstream dress. Her response was so memorable that it’s stuck with me: She said that if neckties are on the path to dying out, Drake’s thought of themselves as being the one tie maker who would stand til the last, making the best ones that exist, supplying to whomever will still wear them.

Recently I’ve been thinking the same thoughts toward high quality leather shoe makers. Although better positioned than the necktie to survive (after all you must wear shoes in public, while a tie is superfluous decoration), leather shoe sales are generally in decline while more casual shoes are on the up. Who will survive and thrive as the casual wardrobe comes to dominate the world?

One high-end maker that seems positioned to do well even as people become more casual is Carmina. I’ve always known about them, but had never actually owned a pair until recently. Once I did, though, I couldn’t help but be delighted by not just the quality and beauty of the shoes themselves but also their approach to business in today’s market. Unlike other bench grade shoemakers in their price category, they go out of their way to make it easy to learn about and buy their shoes online, and even allow custom single-order shoe purchases.

The pair I bought were still via a wholesale account of theirs: Gentlemen’s Footwear in San Diego. Nonetheless, the Carmina website is so impressive, they just might have won me over completely. Here’s why:

First, we’re all familiar with how impactful lasts are in whether or not a shoe will work on your foot. 90% of posts on any given thread on online style fora about shoes is “How should I size in last x if last y from brand z fits me in size…?” Carmina’s affiliate thread on Styleforum is no different, but rather than having to rely on community wisdom and experience there, they have an easy tool on their website that lets you compare last shapes directly in shape, instep and toe spring. So if you find a good fit in one of their lasts, you can quickly determine for yourself fairly quickly how a different last might fit differently before buying. For me, this is invaluable because the pair I bought are outstanding, and fit true to size. But comparing it with the tool to other very popular Carmina lasts, it’s clear I would need to size up. Genius!

Second, and this is a point I wouldn’t think I’d need to say in 2021, but you can actually buy their shoes on their website. Do you admire Crockett & Jones’ tassel loafer* and want to try it for yourself—but live in the gigantic swath of America where nobody anywhere near you sells them?—have fun Googling places to order and hope they happen to stock the shoe you want I guess. It’s a crapshoot. And don’t even get me started on Alden. Carmina, however, has their entire collection of shoes available for order online, and even offers individual one-off orders. Which brings me to:

Third, their made to order customization options are wild. Not only can you choose a shoe model, what leather you want, the linings, the soles, and other details but you can choose a last for them to make it on. Delivery is approximately 6 weeks after your order. The price for MTO isn’t low—this is a luxury brand in the mid-three-figures—but neither is it crazy high compared to retail price for shoes at this level. For someone who has built up their shoe collection enough that they have no need for any additional pairs for rotation, being able to custom make a shoe to your design specs to this degree is amazing.

I’m really impressed with Carmina, in case you couldn’t tell. Most important is that the pair I have are comfortable on me, which honestly is not true of other brands I’ve owned or tried on at this price point (frankly, Beckett Simonon’s $200-level shoes are the most consistently comfortable leather dress shoes I’ve tried, alongside certain Allen Edmonds pairs I own, but these rival those and the quality is appreciably better). But besides that, the quality of make, the design, and the ease of shopping in 2021 make Carmina the shoe company I’d put my money on to thrive.

* Apparently Crockett & Jones launched online e-commerce a couple months ago. What a time to be alive!

(Help support this site! If you buy stuff through my links, your clicks and purchases earn me a commission from many of the retailers I feature, and it helps me sustain this site—as well as my menswear habit ;-)  Thanks!)

If you’re just getting into tailored menswear and want a single helpful guide to building a trend-proof wardrobe, buy my eBook. It’s only $5 and covers wardrobe essentials for any guy who wants to look cool, feel cool and make a good impression. Formatted for your phone or computer/iPad so it’s not annoying to read, and it’s full of pretty pictures, not just boring prose. Buy it here.

Read more at Menswear Musings

#Carmina #High end shoes #luxury shoes #menswear #shoes

[divineluce]

A Spirited Discussion || Jasmine & Luce

Timing: Backdated to Early December

Location: The Vural Residence

Tagging: @halequeenjas & @divineluce

Description: Back when Jas was staying at the Vural House, Luce had some questions about ghosts. Who better to ask than someone she’s despised since middle school?

It was entirely unsurprising to Jasmine that Beatrice opened up her home to her. Bea had always kind of been the mom friend and she loved that about her. In a lot of ways, it brought her back to a simpler time. A time where late-night secrets were whispered and hushed laughter was shared. Having lost Bea before, it made those small moments seem that much more precious. It almost completely made up for the fact she was missing her bed and luxury sheets. Almost. She had no appointments this morning, so she found herself alone in the kitchen with coffee Bea had made earlier that morning. She had made herself cozy at the table with her coffee and a muffin when she heard footsteps. She assumed it was Nellie, but was surprised to see Luce joining her at the table. She feigned shock and joked, “What have I done for the ever-elusive Luce to join me for a cup of coffee on this fine Saturday morning?” She thought of throwing in she’d have to add it to her calendar as the anniversary of the day Luce willingly spent some time with her, but she wasn’t going to push her luck.

Luce felt like shit. That had been the vibe for most of her days as of late, so she shouldn’t have been too surprised by it. It only made sense, right? You get talked into killing someone by an angry teenager, you fucking light a bitch up in a back alley and then… you feel like shit. Every night, she was haunted by what she’d done that day, the image of Lydia’s melting skin, wreathed in her fire seared into her mind. Some nights, she stayed awake for as long as she could, trying to put off the nightmares as much as possible. Running a charcoal smeared hand through her hair, Luce tossed the pencil back on her desk. She could smell coffee wafting from the kitchen and she let out a sigh. Maybe that would help her feel less like this. Leaving the mess of swirls and jagged lines, she made her way out to the kitchen and her eyes narrowed when she saw Jasmine. Sitting. In her spot. “Just make yourself at fucking home, I guess.” She muttered under her breath as she grabbed a mug from the cupboard. “Just here for the coffee. You’re an unexpected addition, just like most of the people who wind up sitting here in the morning. ” Luce replied, filling the mug nearly to the brim, with just enough space for a splash of milk. Adam, he’d apparently stayed here for a bit. And Blanche had been here too, Winston a few times, before they’d left town entirely. They were just a fucking pitstop of half the town, weren’t they

Had she been a less secure person, Luce’s disdain toward her might have bothered her. However, Jasmine just had an amused look on her face as she sipped on the coffee. She smirked as she retorted, “Well, Bea did tell me to make myself at home.” With a shrug, she glanced back down at the book she had been reading with her breakfast. She’d still been looking into more powerful destruction exorcisms for Larry Bob. It still made little sense to her that the previous one hadn’t worked. She flipped the book shut and decided she’d rather annoy Luce than herself. “You mean, you’re not here for the delightful company I provide,” she joked with a feigned sense of hurt. Maybe she should let Luce actually get some coffee in her before pissing her off, but where was the fun in that? “I’m kidding, I know for whatever reason you can’t stand me… which rude, but my feelings aren’t hurt. I’d still whack a ghost for you… Vampire shows up you’re on your own though.” 

“Yeah, that’s just shit people say when they’re being polite. You’ve shown enough houses, you should know that by now.” Luce said over the rim of her coffee mug and took a sip. Bea had made the coffee, she could tell. There was something about the way that she brewed it that was just different-- she couldn’t put her thumb on what it was, but it reminded her that this place was home. Grabbing a couple slices of bread from the cabinet, she stuck them in the toaster and pressed the lever down. She’d just make some breakfast and then fuck off back to her room. Luce glanced over at the other woman with an arched eyebrow. “Uh huh, for whatever reason.” She said, reminded of Jas’ continuous presence around their family home when they were growing up. But, her annoyed expression was broken when she heard the other woman’s words. Casting a sidelong look at the book that sat shut on the table, Luce tilted her chin to it. “What’s that? And… what do you mean, whacking a ghost for me?” She asked, cautious.

“I think Bea and I are far past politeness and faux niceties,” Jasmine chided before she took another bite from her muffin that Bea had been all too excited to make. Even the coffee tasted better somehow. It was something she always relished during their monthly brunch dates. Though a small smirk was present on her face, she shook her head. “I said what I said. Not that I’m too bothered, I don’t require anyone’s approval but my own.” She watched the annoyed expression fade from Luce’s face. Was it a surprise there? Did Luce not realize she was an exorcist? Sure, they didn’t talk to each other much, but she assumed Bea or Nell had at least mentioned it before. “You know, like--” she made a whacking motion with her arms like she was hitting a ghost with one of her iron rods. Her features scrunched up with confusion. “Did you not know I’m an exorcist? Who do you think put the wards up here?” 

“You sure fucking don’t.” Luce muttered over her mug, taking a long drink as she waited for the toaster to do it’s thing. If her magic was behaving normally, she’d just take the bread back to her room and toast it there, but… with how it’d be haved when she’d helped Adam dispel the Mortasheen from the beach. She had a feeling that she’d have better lucky shining a magnifying glass to the pieces of bread. No, better to suffer through Jas’ company and leave. As Jas made a swinging gesture, Luce rolled her eyes. “No shit I know you’re an exorcist. I just didn’t think that by exorcising ghosts you were straight up murdering them. I thought it was like… I don’t know, you getting your Jennifer Love Hewitt on.” She said shifting uncomfortably. Was Nadia a ghost? Could she be killed like this? Double killed or whatever?

Jasmine was confused now. Why would Luce think she murdered ghosts? Not that you could really kill what was dead, but she supposed sometimes she did have to actually destroy a soul. “Wait, what do you mean? I don’t murder ghosts. I meant whack is in like literal whacking. With an iron rod to get them to fuck off. Sometimes you’re not always ready for an impromptu exorcism in the middle of a Chili’s or whatever.” She mused further holding her coffee mug close to her, “I guess technically for poltergeists or demons I destroy their souls though one can argue there’s little left of their soul at that point-- For the most part, it’s just forcing ghosts to move on or you know, not hijack someone else’s body.”

“I don’t know how ghost shit works!” Luce said defensively. Because she really fucking didn’t. She’d read the books that Rio had given her-- which, she realized, were still sitting in her room. She should probably give those back to him. That would be one hell of an awkward conversation. “Uh huh, you, in a Chilis. That seems a lot less likely to happen than you double killing a ghost.” She said with a grimace. “Is there any way to get rid of ghosts for good? Or, if someone had been possessed before, does that make them like… extra enticing for poltergeists and shit to get back at them?” She asked. “Like, with the whole hijacking situation, will they just keep coming back to someone they’ve possessed?”

“Yeah, but you know me and should be able to deduce after all these years I’m not a murderer… Though given this is the longest conversation we’ve ever had, I can’t be all that shocked,” Jasmine said with a hint of edge in her voice. Most of the time, Luce’s annoyance with her was amusing, but she didn’t quite like the remark that she was murdering ghosts. They were literally already dead for one. Aside from that, they needed to move on for their own good. If her mug hadn’t been in her hand, her arms would have haughtily crossed over her chest. Instead, she shot Luce a glare to get the point across. “It’s not killing ghosts,” she reiterated before her brows furrowed. Was Luce asking her honest to god questions? There had to be something up. She set her mug down and channeled all the patience she could muster. “Yes, that’s like 90% of what I do. Most people who remain on this plane after they died, died a traumatic death. They have unfinished business that honestly more often than not, has no way of being resolved. That’s where I come in. I get them to move on… albeit with a little bit of exorcism, but unless it’s a destruction exorcism, they move on. Find some peace.” She thought over her answer in reply to possession. Usually those who had a spirit or demon exorcised from them would have some sort of protective measures. “I think a lot of that can vary from person to person. There’s not a hard and fast rule for possession. I think the more strong willed a person is, the more difficult it can be to possess them, but that’s really something that’s only theorized in accounts at best. If someone has had a spirit or demon exorcised from them, typically they learn some protective measures to take. Some ghosts can become very set on a single person I suppose.” She knew Larry Bob continuously had his sights set on her demise. It could make sense if it was a vengeance thing she supposed. The why behind Luce was asking to begin with concerned her. Her gaze softened and she asked, “What’s going on Luce? If you have some sort of ghost problem, I can help.”

Lips pressing together into a tight line, Luce stared down at her coffee mug for a moment. Maybe Jas didn’t seem like a murderer. But, she’d never thought she was one either. Or that Bea or Nell would be killers either. When push came to shove though, they’d chosen one another over the lives of others. And she’d done worse than that, she’d killed without… any real reason. Lifting the mug to her lips, Luce took a long sip as Jas explained what exorcism was, what happened to people who went through it, all of it things that Luce had never heard of. Reading the books from the Scribary, they’d really only given her information from the perspective of hunters, and they deferred to exorcists when it came to ghosts. Outside of a few wards that she’d tried to draw, they hadn’t  provided much in the way of help. At Jas’s question, Luce spoke up slowly, “I don’t  have a ghost problem. Not me personally.” She paused, hands pressed against the warm ceramic of the mug. “Someone I... care about does. Some bitch took over her body years ago but she got rid of her for a while. But now the ghost is back and she pushed her out of her body. They were both there for a while, but she got… shoved out. I didn’t even know that sort of thing was possible.”

As much as Jasmine had tried to bond with Luce over the years, seeing her features filled with anything but snark or disdain brought a sense of worry over here. She knew Luce would hate Jasmine of all people worrying for her and would probably say something about not needing her. It didn’t change the fact she would anyway. They didn’t have to get along swimmingly for her to give a crap about her overall wellbeing. She nodded slowly and set her mug down on the table, “Even if it’s not you personally, I’m still concerned.” So she listened and connected the pieces. How many ghosts in town could there be that were pushing people out of their bodies? Realization showed across her face in the way her eyes narrowed slightly and she let out a soft sigh. “Do you mean Nadia or is there more than one body hijacking ghost pushing people out of their body?” She really, really hoped there was only the one. That was going to be a complicated ritual to perform once let alone twice. Blanche had mentioned there was a lead on it, but her own reading wasn’t promising. She answered gently, “To answer your question, it’s not common. I’ve been researching though the broken arm had me out of commission for a bit. It sounds like this ghost has learned how to wield her power and is very determined to take over that body. It’s possible to get her out and for your friend to repossess her body, but multiple exorcisms like that-- they’re rough on the body. Especially if the ghost is fighting… which if they’re a poltergeist is very likely. So it's fixable, it's just very delicate.”

At the sound of Nadia’s name, Luce shoulders stiffened. She shouldn’t have been surprised that Jas would know, but still. Hearing someone else say her name who knew exactly what was going on with Nadia, it was… as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Only to be replaced by a sharp wave of fear over what Jas’ knowledge of the situation meant. Luce moved to take another sip from her coffee but froze when she heard that body. “It’s not that body. It’s Nadia’s.” Luce said sharply, anger flaring her tone before she could catch herself. Grimacing, the witch set her mug down and stared at the pool of brown liquid for a moment. “So, it can be fixed. That’s,” She paused, trying to process that news. “Something.” It could be fixed. But, delicate? That meant it wasn’t a situation that could be fixed by anything that Luce could do. On a good day, she was about as delicate as a hand grenade. And with her magic as it was right now? Luce stared at the tattooed skin of her knuckles and grimaced. “How do you know about her? Are you trying to help get Nadia back in her body?” I want to help, those were the words she wanted to say. But how could she?

Jasmine noticed the way Luce tensed up. It answered her question before she even said anything though as much only made her more worried about the situation. Though she wouldn’t show it. Luce, for once, needed to have confidence in her. Of course, Luce was already getting snippy and she folded her hands together on the table as if it would hold her together. “Well, you hadn’t confirmed if I was right about the who, so I was trying to be vague. This may come as a shock to you, but seeing as I help people with possession, I’m kind of big on the whole bodily autonomy thing, too.” She saw Luce making an effort to relax herself and almost felt bad for being equally as snappy. Given their usually dynamic, it was more difficult than she would have likely to show patience. She let out a breath and answered, “Yes, it can be fixed. As I said, it’s still a delicate situation. That poltergeist isn’t going to give up her body easily and can cause damage on the way out.” It was true. There was also the risk of the poltergeist completely wrecking Nadia’s body on the way out. Even if that wasn’t the case, she may still be weakened. “I’ve met Nadia’s ghost and we talked for a bit. I also ended up meeting the exorcist who originally tried to get the ghost out of her body. He’s young-- bit off more than he could chew there. I wish I met him sooner so I could have taken the wheel, but that’s not how things work. So now, I’m doing a ton of research to ensure the ritual doesn’t kill Nadia. Though someone else mentioned there was another lead, but didn’t get any information, so I’m not sure if someone else is working on it.” 

Gritting her teeth together, Luce ran a hand through her hair, pulling her fingers through a few of the tangles. She’d never liked Jas. Never liked any of Bea’s friends, never really wanted to get to know them, never really cared to play nice with them. Which made this conversation all the more difficult. It was hard enough knowing that Jas was usually a smug bitch, but the fact that Jas was literally the only person she knew who could deal with this was something else. Blanche might be able to see ghosts, but the kid wasn’t an exorcist. And she was just that, a kid. Luce had already asked too much of her when Bea had died. She didn’t need to put more on her plate. Taking a steadying breath, Luce nodded “Sorry.” It was a word she rarely offered, but she needed Jas’ help. “You’ve met her? Y-you’ve--” Luce’s words caught in the back of her throat and she took the moment to take another deep drink from her mug. Fuck. Jas was trying to help. She was trying to fix things. “Who else knows about this? I want to help. If I can. I don’t know how much I can do but… If I can, I want to.”

Hearing “sorry” come from Luce was a shock in and of itself. Jasmine had always thought she’d be much more satisfied when this moment came. Given the circumstances, she could hardly be too smug about it. Someone Luce cared about was in an awful situation. There was no relishing in that. Not with any sort of good conscience anyway. She let out a soft sigh and softened her features. Brows no longer scrunched together and eyes offering more in the way of understanding. “It’s fine,” she said softly in a way that felt so foreign to her normal conversations with Luce. “I have, yes. Entirely on accident, but she seemed as okay as she could be given the circumstances.” It felt important to let Luce know that. It was even more of a surprise she was offering her help. “If you’re up for some reading, I could use some help getting through the books. I ultimately want to minimize the risk of the ritual taking a potentially fatal toll on her body.” 

Luce’s shoulders had squared slightly, prepared to face some kind of gloating comment. But, it never came and instead, Jas was reassuring her. She hated this. She hated feeling like Jas was pitying her, like she was weak. But, Luce was weak. This wasn’t her element and she had no real power to do anything in this situation. And even if she had power, had her flame fully at her disposal to channel around her, what then? She couldn’t burn a ghost out of a body. Her magic was destruction and little more than that. Staring at the counter top, Luce took in the other woman’s words mutely. The relief she felt at her words, though, it washed over her in a calming wave. It confirmed what she’d heard from Nadia that night, when she’d seen her in the mirror of her scrying mirror. That the other woman was out of immediate danger. At least for now. Head jerking up at Jas’ offer, Luce blinked. “Reading? I-- sure. Yeah, I can do that.” A fatal toll. Luce didn’t want to think about that possibility, as though even the act of thinking about it would bring it into reality. “I can help.” She could help. If Luce could help bring Nadia back safely into her body, maybe there was hope for her. Maybe there was more to her than just… ruin. She had to try.

#p: asd #p: jasmine hale #chatzy #wickedswriting

[atlas-the-worldbuilder]

Final thoughts on Pokemon Sword/Shield

So in case you weren’t aware (which is most of you, I’m sure), a few months ago I started a Pokemon Shield blind Nuzlocke Run.  And recently, I completed the main portion of the Nuzlocke by defeating the Champion.  Having played through the game, though, I thought I’d give my final thoughts on it as a Pokemon fan, a gamer, and as a storyteller.

The Story & Characters

In all honesty, I rather enjoyed the main story of this game.  The Pokemon League has always been presented like a professional sport (at least in the anime/cartoon), so it’s fun to see the games taking that perspective and rolling with it.  It felt like an actual tournament/championship, to compete for the title in an officially organized manner, rather than just running a gauntlet of preset combatants.

In addition, I liked how they incorporated both the gym leaders and our rivals into the league story as not only combatants, but also as individuals with their own lives and aspirations.  Marnie and Team Yell are adorable, Hop is... mostly tolerable, thus far, but by far my favorite rival character has been Bede, the Psychic/Fairy trainer.  His haughty and prideful demeanor make him a delight to defeat, and his arc is a wonderful story to see unfold.  I’m really curious to see what he gets up to in the after-story! The Gym Leaders are also fun to meet and battle; the Pokemon games as a whole have been gradually attempting to give more and more character to each of the Gym Leaders you meet, beyond just trials to overcome on your journey to victory.  And while I always have a soft spot for the Hoenn & Sinnoh gyms, I like that they opted to have the Gym Leaders return in place of having more Elite Four members to fight  I only wish I could get more opportunities to get to know them better, cuz there’s some standout leaders from this batch which I truly enjoy!

My biggest complaint with Sword/Shield’s story, though, has been the “Heroic Quest” plotline which has become increasingly common these days.  I like the character of Sonia the researcher, and Oleana is satisfying to watch lose, my biggest complaint has been the pacing of the plot; the first 2/3rd’s of the story are us teaming with Sonia to gradually get the backstory revealed to us, and then in the last half hour, right as the Tournament’s getting underway, all the villains suddenly crawl from beneath the floorboards and run amok while you have to chase them down!  There didn’t feel like there was a proper buildup explaining why the villain wanted to summon the legendary Pokémon, especially one which we heard next to nothing about! This brings about an interesting idea, however... what if instead, they had completely forgone any Legendary-Summoning stories until after the league?  Honestly, I was way more invested challenging the gyms and fighting the champion than I was stopping the literal POKEMON APOCALYPSE from happening... so what if for future games, they saved those for after you became champion?  As a sort of test of your skills, to prove your worth to bear the mantle you have taken!  Maybe it wouldn’t have meshed well, maybe they needed to show of the game mascot more, I dunno...  it’s just my thoughts.

The GamePlay

THEY FINALLY LET US TURN OF THE GODS-FORSAKENED TUTORIALS!!!  PRAISE THE ALL-FATHER!!!

Ahem... In all honesty, I think I’d grown a bit too used to the 2nd screen of the DS-series games, but after a couple days of getting used to the mono-screen style again, I am pleased to say I found it very easy to settle back into.  Though there are still some features I wish would make a return (the HM moves as opposed to public transportation, poison’s effect while walking, wild double battles, etc.), there are alot of fun mechanics introduced and remedies to older problems that have been introduced!

I think one feature which hasn’t had much said about it is the introduction of the Poke-Jobs system; this system allows you to send your Pokémon out on timed “away missions” to gain both experience and items.  In the old days, if you wanted to passively level your pokemon, the only real option you had without introducing a second player was the Daycare center, and they could only raise two pokemon at once... and you had to pay for it.  With Poke-Jobs, though, I can send anywhere from 5-10 teammates out for whatever amount of time I want them to be out for, and then come back later to see them lively and with goodies to show for their work! At first, I didn’t think I’d get much use out of this system; I, like many players out there I’m sure, prefer to guide my pokemon’s training personally, honing their movesets and guiding their levelling and points the way I want from them.  But as I progressed further in my Nuzlocke, and as my daily life became busier and busier, I found myself sending my backup teammates out on jobs to keep them on par with my main team.  Given that the Move Deleter/Tutor and Name Rater are now services that have been rolled into the Pokemon Center, yet another good thing this series has done, I found it much easier to keep my reserve Pokemon prepared in case I needed a substitution. Some Nuzlocke “Purists” may call that taking the easy way out, but... frankly, I don’t have the willpower to do that much grinding.  I’m here to play a game and have fun doing it, dammit.

The Wild Area is another thing I’ve wanted to see from Pokemon for a long time - taking more steps to make the regions seem like an open world, with vast sprawling environments full of pokemon and secrets to uncover.  I’ll admit, though, the execution is... not entirely perfect.  While open expanses are fun to explore, the Wild Area did seem a bit... flat to traverse.  And while the weather mechanics translating into battle are fun to deal with, the same sets of wild pokemon appearing did start to wear me down.  I think what the Wild Area really needed, in the long run, was a system similar to how Black/White/Black2/White2 did - having seasonal progression ingame, where different pokemon would show up during different seasons, making the different places unique and novel all over again throughout the year. And for the record, many of my gripes with the Wild Area were addressed in the Isle of Armor’s expansion island.  VASTLY superior, and much more fun to navigate and traverse.

...I’ll openly admit this: I was not a fan of Mega Evolution when it was first introduced in X/Y.  I felt it was fine enough to see Pokemon battling without power boosts or “digi-volving” or whatever you wanna call it.  When Sun/Moon Introduced Z-Moves, it felt like a step in the right direction, but at the same time, I ended up not using it very often.  If I had to have a power boost to my pokemon, I would want it something that couldn’t be used as a crutch when the going gets tough - something that has a limited usability, and offers benefits specific to the time it’s being used. I say this because I initially approached Dynamax the same way: as just another power boost to level the playing field and shake up the battle meta which I don’t keep track of.  However, after barely surviving all 8 gym leaders without using a single dynamax pokemon, I decided to give it a chance: after having completed the Isle of Armor’s subplot and gaining access to the Max Soup, I fed it to my Toxtricity Spike, and started running dynamax raids.  As I started using it more and more, I started gaining a certain appreciation for it that I hadn’t before; this was something written in to being a unique cultural effect!  This literally is imagining Pokemon as Kaiju!  And for the most part, it works! While I still feel mega-lvl-power-boosts in pokemon are a huge waste, at the very least I can say Dynamax didn’t leave me with too bad a taste in my mouth.  I do hope, however, that Dynamax stays a Sword/Shield exclusive power; given it’s cultural importance in Galar, and how Mega-Evolution was in the previous generation, I think having power boosts specific to regions works better than having the same stuff used across the board for every meta onwards,

What Do I hope for the Future?

I can’t say for sure if they’ll release a sequel game for Sword/Shield, but if they do... I would want them to make these minor changes:

Hold off the Heroic plot for after the League plot; devote the main first half of the game to just the gyms and league story like was done here, and then save meeting uber-god-tier Pokémon for after you’ve claimed the title of Champion.

Having said that, fix the pacing of how the Eternatus/Darkest Day subplot feels as it’s being played out.  Offer us more insight into Rose and Oleana’s mindsets as they go about their business, and give us more coherent exposition from our field trips with Prof. Sonia. 

Fix how the Wild Area looks - give it more variations for each sub-region and offer more varieties of habitats, like in the Isle of Armor.  Or, alternatively, try to implement a seasonal mechanic to make the same areas change over the year, opening new paths and new avenues to explore!

Let Bede defeat Oleana.  Give my boy some closure.

Allow us to see and interact with the Gym Leaders outside of the gyms more.  I had, like, barely 2 lines of dialogue with Nessa, and even less for Milo.  Not asking for a whole lot, just a bit more to tie us into who they are as people.  Piers is best big brother.  <3

That’s all I had written for now.  If y’all want a biography of my champion team for my Shield Nuzlocke, let me know, and I’ll scrap a post together! <3

#Pokemon #Pokemon Sword Shield #Demotivated Review #Video Game #Atlas the Worldbuilder #nobody's gonna care about this #but that's ok