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genshin-scenarios · 3 months

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A Leyline Incident (Wanderer x Reader)

Summary: A leyline mishap has transported you and Wanderer into his memories – aka back to when he was still Kabukimono.

This'll wear off in a few hours, but you don’t know how long you can last when Wanderer’s acting like this.

Established relationship/you’re already together. He’s just pushing your buttons as usual.

Content warnings: Rated teens and up!

Wordcount: 1100+

“Move to the side. Am I just supposed to sit on one inch of this chair?”

“What are you talking about?! I’m about to fall off here!” Your indignant whisper quickly turns into a strangled sound when Wanderer slots himself to your side, pushing his body against you.

There are countless more places he could sit, but of course he chooses the most inconvenient one to stay close to your side. After you’d been found together at the edge of the village, Wanderer had quickly introduced you as a traveler he befriended from his foraging trips.

Considering how even his clothes were transformed into the white and purple garb he used to wear, you were the only oddity in the situation. With a defeated sigh, you played along, letting Wanderer adopt the demeanor of his past self as he loops your elbows together, leading you into Tatarasuna.

But even if he was friendly as Kabukimono, wouldn’t the villagers still find it weird if he’s so attached to you?! Granted, the swordsmiths and workers milling about are fragments from his memories, but they’re still fully capable of interacting like normal.

Katsuragi turns to the both of you, handing Wanderer a bowl of soup. “Just let us know if your friend needs anything else. It wouldn’t do for us to count them out of dinner, after all.”

“Thanks, Katsuragi!” Wanderer switches his tone effortlessly, wearing a smile so innocent that your stomach turns in disbelief. “They’re a little tired, so I’ll show them to the guestroom later.”

The idea of being stuck in a room when Wanderer’s dressed and acting like this is enough to make you stand up, trying to escape despite how dark the sky is. “Actually, I feel fine. So maybe I can help with serving—”

“—But didn’t you say you’ve been traveling all day?” Wanderer interrupts. His brow furrows in worry, raising a spoonful of soup to you. “You should eat and rest. I’m sure the villagers won’t mind!”

“Any friend of Kabukimono’s is a friend of ours.” Katsuragi confirms. “It’s only a night’s stay, after all. If you’d still like to help out, we can discuss it in the morning.”

Worst of all is the expectant look on both of their faces as you sit, frozen, staring at Wanderer’s hand still offering to feed you.

There’s amusement glimmering in his eyes even as he retains that sweet smile. “The grannies are really good at cooking, so you should try some!”

You grit your teeth, mustering all the patience and peace in the world as you lean forward and take a bite. It’s surprisingly good, though that might have to do with Wanderer’s memory of the soup rather than anything you’re actually consuming.

After that, you manage to save your dignity a little by taking the bowl from him and finishing the rest yourself, just so you could excuse yourself and retreat away from the villagers. Wanderer brings you to one of said guestrooms, where you immediately round to berate him.

“Just because this is one of your memories doesn’t mean you can go ahead and—”

“Mess around?” He takes the words right out of your mouth, lips quirked with mirth. Here stands the Wanderer you know. But what you don’t expect is for him to drive the point forward, taking a slow step towards you with every sentence. “But don’t you find it endearing to see me acting like that? Wide-eyed, well-meaning… Willing to do anything for you with a smile?”

“The leyline must’ve dropped you on the head before we woke up here.” You panic, realizing that your back has just hit the wall. He’s too close, and the glint in his eyes spell nothing good for your wellbeing. “Heck, you could even be lying about your old personality, and I wouldn’t have a clue.”

“Hm. Regardless, I’ve gotten you into quite a spot.” Wanderer leans over you, and you think he’s about to kiss you for a second before he simply lingers there, giving you a smirk.

“You know what? We’re done.” You slide down to sit on the ground, trying to avoid his gaze because there’s no way you started leaning in and he had the audacity to tease you. Your deadpan is a giveaway that you’re simply flustered, covering your face with your eyes shut and words muffled. “I don’t know you anymore. Goodbye.”

“Well that’s rather hurtful.” He crouches so you’re at the same height, propping his chin atop his palm. “I was going to let you choose how I’d kiss you.”

You allow yourself to peek at him, curiosity winning over. “…In what way?”

“As in,” Wanderer leans closer, moving his hand to tug at the end of your shirt. “Would you like Kabukimono, lovesick as he asks if he can kiss you?”

He mimics the pose, face tilted just enough so that he’s the one peering up at you. An image of something desperate and hopeful flashes through your mind — wide eyes and pleading for you to melt and say yes.

“Or, maybe you want me to promise I’d never leave your side.” In a cheerful, exhilarating realization that he loved you. Exclaiming it with a laugh bubbling on his lips, knowing this emotion for the first time.

His hands shift to cup your face on both sides. As Wanderer shuts his eyes, they flutter open again with a different weight to his gaze; half-lidded, he’s close enough that your lips are brushing, but doesn’t quite press them into a kiss.

“Fast forward things a little, and it’d be like this.” He traces the shape of your cheekbone. “Maybe I wouldn’t ever want to let you go, and ask for your heart to be mine.”

He’d steal it from your chest, if he really had to. You’d believe it, in the current state he’s emulating – remembering the stories he told you about his past after disaster struck Tatarasuna. When he was lost to a color of the world that struck him cruelly, believing he’d been betrayed once again.

Your hands reach up to take Wanderer’s wrists gently, pulling him out of his stupor with your touch. As his eyes clear, he leans into the kiss you tilt your lips up for, letting you take the lead as he melts into you. It’s soft and sweet — a little reassurance in the way you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping him close even after you part.

“I’ll take any version you give me, though I prefer the usual Wanderer a little more.” You smile, earning a bemused huff.

“Because I’m already yours?” He guesses.

“Because you seem happier.” You correct. “Or at least, that’s what I assume, with your own fanclub at the Akademiya and all.”

“They’re ridiculous.” Wanderer says, gaze softening. “As are you.”

For loving him, he means. But that’s been an affliction you’ve had for a long time now, and you had no intention to stop.

“Maybe another kiss will knock some sense into me?”

“Hah. As if that’s worked before.”

#wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #balladeer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x you #scaramouche x you #genshin x reader #wanderer genshin impact #scaramouche genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin writing #genshin reader insert

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carriesthewind · 11 months

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Good evening everyone! As I said in an answer to a previous ask, there wasn't a public call-in line to listen to the Show Cause Hearing in Mata v Avianca (the ChatGBT lawyer case) today.

However, while we are waiting for a transcript of the hearing (because there was a court reporter! yay!) and a written decision by the judge, we did get this absolutely anxiety-inducing live tweet of the hearing:

(Caveat: this thread was not an official transcript of the hearing and should not be taken as such. It is possible the actual events and statements made in the hearing differ significantly from this report - i.e., take this with a grain of salt and reserve final judgement for the actual transcript.)

I'll put the full thread with some (light) commentary below the cut.* But the overall impression I am left with is that the judge seems to feel this pair of attorneys are treating their duty of candor toward the tribunal with the same seriousness with which they are treating their duty of competence to their clients. (And in this case, that's a very bad thing.)

*The full thread except for a soon-to-follow part 2 because I ran out of space for images again.

(All of the following screenshots are from the above tweet thread by Inner City Press @ innercitypress on twitter, made on June 8, 2023.)

Normally I would overlook that "you, personally," but in this case, you really get the feeling that the judge is concerned that LoDuca might just start talking about what Schwartz did again.

Establishing LoDuca's base of knowledge - he should know how to look up cases and check if they are real; he should know what a real case looks like.

The March 1 submission was the plaintiff's opposition to the motion to dismiss, where they first cited the fake cases.

How bad this answer is depends, I think, on LoDuca's wording here. Best case scenario, his statement about Schwartz was a specific statement about what inquiry was reasonable for him to do under the circumstances (which - for that first filing - I think is actually a reasonable argument. You don't expect your colleague to just make up cases). Worst case, this reads like him trying to wiggle out of his obligations. I will withhold judgement until I see the official transcript.

Rule 11, by the way, refers to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 11(b) states:

(If you remember the Order to Show Cause, we are dealing with a Rule 11(b)(2) issue here. Rule 11(c) allows the court to impose sanctions for violations of Rule 11(b))

Oh no, bad answer. (If anyone reading this is good at photoshop, I cannot express how badly I want a version of the "this sign can't stop me because I can't read" meme with the sign being the quote from defendant's reply where they say, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it.")

Oh that is not a good way of characterizing those orders. (Those were the orders, remember, where the Court said, "By April 18, 2022, Peter LoDuca, counsel of record for plaintiff, shall file an affidavit annexing copies of the following cases cited in his submission to this Court: as set forth herein. Failure to comply will result in dismissal of the action pursuant to Rule 41 (b), Fed. R. Civ. P.")

I would simply perish on the spot.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my original attempted summary of "Varghese" - the first paragraph states that it is a wrongful death suit by the widow of the passenger. Then the second paragraph states that the passenger was denied boarding on a flight due to overbooking and thus missed his connecting flight and therefore incurred additional expenses. The case was such nonsense that I legitimately forgot about that inconsistency by the time I got to the end.

Your honor I plead "2 stupid 2 sanction."

(I believe the "different fonts" is in reference to the April 25 affidavit, in which the case names - and some of the surrounding text - are in a different font from most of the text in the affidavit. It seems like this is because they may have been copied straight from ChatGPT. See e.g., #3 below. It's hard to tell just based on this twitter thread, though.)

A short and simple answer! You did it!

"I have all the answers I need" is not a good sentence in this context.

Very genuinely: shorter is better here. At least I don't think he hurt himself with that statement.

Judge Castel: How do you conduct legal research?

Schwartz: I research cases.

Judge Castel: Do you read them?

Schwartz: Well, I may have once upon a time, but after hearing you ask that question in this context, I have decided to retire from the practice of law forever and also possibly sink into the ground and die. Also, by answering "yes," here, I just realized that I'm either admitting that I read the cases I submitted and therefore must have known they were fake, or else I just possibly committed perjury. Oh shit oh fuck.

Oh god I'm cringing myself into a pretzel just reading this.

Hey, by the way? You can actually use google (esp. google scholar) to do legal research. (It's not a good tool and you will miss things, but it will do in a pinch.) But. Um. If you know that...why didn't you double check your cases at very least on google when you were told they seemed to be made up?

So, once again, I am going to withhold judgement until I see the actual transcript. That said, if Schwartz did say this, I would like to compare it briefly to a part of the chat transcript he provided to the court. Here is the first question asked about the Montreal Convention in the provided transcript:

"analysis"

Oh god. I can't even provide commentary on this one. I hope this is worse than the actual transcript will prove to be. I'm reading through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

"Misperception" (or "misconception") doesn't work once you have evidence that should cause you to doubt - like not being able to find a case that was supposedly published in the Federal fucking Reporter.

This is overshooting "2 stupid 2 sanction" into "too stupid to function."* You either looked for "Varghese" or you didn't. If you looked for "Varghese," it is not credible that you continued to have a good faith assumption that ChatGPT couldn't lie. If you didn't look up "Varghese," you just lied to the Court under oath.

*Just to be clear: for an ordinary person, this would be a very understandable lack of knowledge issue. A lawyer has no excuse not to know this.

Judge Castel: Mr. Schwartz, I think you have the fucking audacity to try to lie to me to my face in my fucking courtroom.

Honestly at this point I'm surprised he could still talk. I think screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" as he vanished into steam, leaving his crumpled suit behind, would be an appropriate response.

NO.

Oh no, oh honey.

Ok. Two options here (again, assuming he actually fucking said "They said they couldn't find them," in response to the Court asking, "When Avianca said you cited non existent cases?"):

Schwartz is once again trying to purposefully downplay what the defendant's reply brief actually said and dodge responsibility.

Schwartz honestly, truly believes that when the defendant filed a reply containing the line, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it," they were just asking for assistance with their legal research?!??!

I honestly don't know which is worse.

Oh no....

Oh man, I haven't gone over it here yet, but I think that "I looked up the judge" is a panicked attempt at bringing up a talking point the Professional Responsibility Lawyers raised in their memorandum of law. (Again, I'm giving this reading of his response with the caveat that it is based only on this thread, not the official transcript, which might read very differently and contain different/more info.) The Professional Responsibility attorneys noted in a footnote that two of the judges listed in the "opinion," including the "author," were actual 11th circuit judges, and the other is an actual 5th circuit judge. My read of this footnote was as an extra little detail tossed in by the Professional Responsibility attorneys to try to dress up their argument that the "opinions" had various "indicia of authenticity."

But here's the problem. If Schwartz is telling the truth - if he was reading carefully and critically enough that he bothered to look up the judge (why would you do that if you didn't think the case might be fake?!) there is no way he could have missed that the case was gibberish. Again, if this is really what he said at the hearing, he either lied in the hearing, or he must have know the "opinions" were bogus when he gave them to LoDuca to file.

"Did it cross your mind" - if the court actually said this, oh my god.

Hey, that's the point that I made in my original post(s)!

This whole thing about the "+h" to "th" with the notary date is from the recent affidavits filed on 6/6/23, you can read them about them if you want, I'll be honest, I don't really care as much about the notary stuff so I'm going to skip it for the moment.

....and I've run out of space for images again. Part II to follow shortly!

#ai bs #2 Stupid 2 Sanction

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leclsrc · 3 months

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darling audrey, congratulations on 5000 followers! ur witty personality and words of gold have charmed us all <3 considering your celebration, i would like to request a drabble with charles based on the song margaret by lana del rey. there’s just something about “he met margaret on the rooftop, she was wearing white, and he was like, ‘i might be in trouble’” or “when you know, you know” ughhhhh love is so sickeningly wonderful

good as gold – cl16

This is the story of Charles experiencing a rooftop conversation with a stranger. For Charles, this is the story he will tell of how he met the love of his life for the first time.

auds here... much like lana in this song i am messy with the pen, but missed this blog very much, i love you all & genuinely hope you're well mmmwaaahhhh :)

You’re wearing this dress. This long, white, lace-linen thing, too chilly for a London rooftop, too chilly for a London ground floor, too chilly for London, really. It’s the first thing Charles says to you, as a poor excuse for an opener, but you soothe his supposed troubles away with a laugh and a wave of a hand. It’s alright, I’m used to the cold, your lips form cloudily. Worst case scenario, I spill some wine on the dress.

The wine you mention is in a glass wrapped by your left hand, which brings itself upward to your lips, staining them violet for a second before you lick the residue off. You should know, I’m more a white wine kind of girl. He laughs, and every other word he thought would come easy comes so stuck, wrestled out of him. For once it’s not because he’s nervous, definitely not because he’s unsure. In fact he’s never felt surer of himself, and his self-assurance is almost foolish if it wasn’t so resolute in the fact that he’d one day like to slip a band over your blank slate of a ring finger.

Already he feels like it’s too late, he’s missed out on too much time with you. He should’ve known this laugh years ago, felt your skin when he was much younger, known you in an embarrassing phase while he was in his own. His desires feel childish, juvenile, but they feel so real, so much so that he verbalizes them to Lando in a desperate attempt to stave them off at the end of the night.

But that is later and this is now, now you tell him you’re here for work. You’re a something-something at somewhere, too professional for him to repeat back to himself in the fluid way you’re gifted. He asks what else is keeping you in a city like London and he phrases it like London is a shit city, and you joke: “Aside from the fact that it’s basically a first-world city?” He stutters in response, he stutters. “I’m joking. It’s work.”

Work, you say, not a guy, not a girl, work. No ring on your finger. You, like him, are committed to nothing but work. And because you’re two people in your early twenties, the rooftop conversation gradually ebbs in that direction, a foray into the worlds you’ve traversed by yourselves. He shares, ever a man of little words, stories of ex-girlfriends he’d rather not bring up again. He says the usual. He’s thankful, but it’s over.

You too, you sentiment. A while ago. I knew him for years, but we wanted different things. Just wasn’t right, something like that. Your index finger tugs at the plain gold chain resting on your collarbones and slides back and forth. The lights—strung up on poles on the roof and from establishments below—shine on certain angles, illuminate your hair, the beauty mark on your cheekbone, the stain of burgundy lip gloss on the wine glass in your hand. “Maybe in another universe.”

“Do you believe in that?” He asks. All he knows about possible universes is that Marvel and that Oscar-winning A24 film Lewis made half the grid watch and give roses to. The concept is interesting and likely true, but he feels secure thinking this is his only universe. Which, technically, is true, too.

You say kind of. “But that idea gives us too much allowance for mistakes.”

“I know. I guess I believe in it in a…” He’s afraid he sounds stupid, but your eyes are egging him on, genuinely curious, burning bright with a want for him to keep talking. “In a… I feel like I’ve met you before, kind of way.” Like he knows everything he has to know about you and him and it’s been barely an hour.

“I get that.” You pause. “I get that.” Then, with a pretty smile and meek hand over the linen chest of your dress, you excuse yourself to refill wine and make talk with the party host. He lingers, of course, watches the sway of your dress, waits to see if you will turn and smile a funny little just us smile, but of course you don’t. You’re a stranger after all. He turns away to find Lando, and for a second he feels like there are eyes on him, but he keeps walking and shakes it off.

“Marry?” Lando repeats half an hour later, when they’re both tugging their coats on. “You just met her. She got out of a long-term relationship a while ago. And so did you.”

They’re in the foyer of the townhouse, and Lando is pulling open the door now, under the impression that his words successfully permeated Charles’ delusions. He turns and Charles is stationary on the last step, humming to himself.

“Mate,” bogs Lando, eyes dead serious. “How do you even know—”

“I know.” Charles says simply. He never even had to ask himself. He just did. He just does. “I have to run up and do something… don’t wait up.”

#f1 #charles leclerc #f1 x reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc drabble

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sunshine-jesse · 6 months

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Ashley Graves Did Something Wrong

TCOAL plays a lot of fun games with the ways it makes you perceive events. From the title screen itself, to various pieces of official art, it primes you to accept certain narratives surrounding the game. Namely, the one that Ashley is very not good. She is, in fact, very bad! And it's pretty easy to see why- many of her actions fit neatly into the mold of an abuser. She's controlling, she tries to deflect blame, gaslights Andrew into making him take the blame for things she pushed him to do to begin with, and harasses other women to ruin his relationships with them.

It's all so easy, and makes so much sense. Case closed.

Right? Well, no. But actually yes! But actually, it's not that simple.

Y'see, as I said, the game establishes this framing from the get-go. It introduces us to our, uh, heroes and tells us in no uncertain terms that Ashley is bad and Andrew is a non-entity. It sets this framing intentionally so that many players will engage in a little quirk of human psychology called…

Confirmation bias!

I'm sure we all know what that is, right? Well, for those who don't, it's when we start with a bias towards something- or an idea of how things SHOULD be- and view every piece of evidence as confirmation that said bias is correct. The game, very blatantly, does this with Ashley's actions by priming us to see them as part of an abuse dynamic, with her as the primary abuser. And, indeed, it's not too hard to dig into Andrew's behavior and figure out that he, too, is fucked up and awful and come to the conclusion that their relationship was mutually fucked up and abusive. I did that in my last two essays, so I won't cover that ground again here. With this, it's easy to think that they bring out the worst in each other and that any relationship they have would be toxic, fucked up, dark, and every other word or phrase that describes the same idea, whether it makes them happy or not.

… But what if I told you that this, too, was an intentional misdirection?

So. Let us, for a moment, completely remove the framing that their relationship is toxic. Let us remove the framing that their relationship is abnormal or aberrant. Let's even remove the framing that either one of them is responsible for the harm of the other. I'm not arguing that any of this is not the case. Please, for the love of god, do not think that I am, if only so you can take the rest of what I have to say seriously. What I'm doing is trying to examine the two of them free of as many preconceptions as I can, using nothing but textual evidence and inference to figure out why Andrew and Ashley treat each other the way they do.

I will later examine why they MIStreat each other too, but first comes the reasons they treat each other well.

I'm going to start with Andrew, because, despite being the more complex of the two, it's actually pretty easy to figure out why he treats Ashley the way he does based on what he says. Let's go all the way back to the earliest known incident between the two in the story, where the two of them were at their most, uh, "pure," for lack of a better word: The cupcake scene.

Leyley was supposedly a problem child. She was neglected by her parents, disliked by her friends, and had nobody else but Andrew to rely on. She got nothing- absolutely nothing- from anyone else. And so, Andrew decided to celebrate her birthday, by buying her the cupcakes she wanted, by giving her what she lacked from others. By providing for her, and taking care of her. All he wanted was to make her happy, more than anything else. And, as Nina learned the hard way, at the expense of everyone else.

He doesn't lack empathy, per se. Andy just loves Leyley more than he loves anyone else by such a wide margin that his desire to provide for her overrides his fear of consequences… until those consequences threaten to separate the two of them.

That is a very Gender Roles thing to do. More on that later.

So. Ashley. Everyone's favorite disaster. Why does she treat Andrew the way she does? What does she provide for him? Well, isn't it obvious? She, too, wants to provide for him. Remember, she wanted the lemon cupcake because she thought it's what HE wanted. She also does most of the chores around the house. She prepares food, cleans the house, and does their laundry. She also provides for his non-sexual physical needs by offering him comfort whenever he needs it. It makes her feel useful. Wanted. Needed.

Ah, another very Gender Roles thing to do. See where I'm going with this?

The two neatly fit into a standard husband/wife relationship in a lot of ways. It's THE platonic ideal of such a relationship, actually! They make each other happy and provide WHAT THEY THINK the other really wants. It's really cute and perfect! As long as you ignore all the bad.

ignore all the bad …ignore all the bad… But we obviously shouldn't ignore all the bad. That would be ridiculous.

What I want to do is, instead, examine where the bad comes from, and why it's there. With the abuser/abused dynamic in mind, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that a mutual desire for control and power over the other is the sole determining factor. It's arguably the Central Theme of the game, and maybe a big part of what Nemlei is trying to convey. But, like, why should it end there? Why should that be where the analysis ends? There's a reason for everything.

They don't want to control each other for its own sake. They don't want to control each other solely to cover their own insecurities.

So why?

Ashley, first. She's obviously an insecure little monster, having never received the validation that she needs to really come into her own as a person. She keeps seeking it. Keeps trying to provide for Andrew. Keeps trying to make herself useful. Now, let's look at her calls towards Julia:

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't?"

Ah, wait, hold on a minute.

"You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that."

Where does that wording come from?

"He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything."

She doesn't need validation just for the sake of her insecurities. She needs it because she needs Andrew to be happy, and in her mind, she's the only one who can provide it. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see how happy she seems to make him, and that nobody else can do what she does. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she makes Andrew more comfortable than anyone. She knows how important physical affection is to him. She can feel it. She doesn't lack empathy towards his plight or feelings; she has more of it than anyone, actually!

But Andrew, crucially, never seems to provide her any validation for this, even though she knows better. That's why she's so insecure.

"But wait," you might say, "didn't he, literally, fucking kill for her?"

Yes. But he always tries to place the blame on Ashley or use her as a scapegoat, when he was the one who pulled the trigger. He never accepts even the smallest amount of responsibility. And if a man can't even take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others, what does that say about him? What does it say about how much he actually cares? oh. more gender roles. huh.

In Ashley's mind, that validation isn't validation because he didn't do it to prove he cared about her. He did it to shut her up. And… he never says anything to the contrary. He refuses to. All his validation is depressingly, overbearingly conditional.

His words always come with a caveat. They're always said in spite of something. They lack warmth. They lack kindness. They lack affection. She is never, ever given a key to lock the door to her insecurities…

…even though Andrew obviously has that key. He just refuses to give it to her.

But why?

Society! :D

There is something so fundamentally, obviously wrong with the way Andrew feels towards Ashley. She is a tar soul. A pariah. So horrid that her parents don't want her, so obviously bad that even demons don't want her. And yet Andrew, in spite of everything, still wants her. He wants to take care of her, when society tells him not to bother. He wants to protect her from other men, and even from herself. It manifests as jealousy because…

He, too, thinks the only one qualified to provide for Ashley is himself, because he was the only one who ever had. Violence comes so naturally to him that he takes it for granted. He kills for her, threatens to physically assault her when he thinks she's putting herself in danger.

It's so second nature to him that he thinks it should obviously be enough. But it isn't. His violence is so second nature as to be passive. It's non-committal. And what Ashley wants is committment.

But because of how society views Ashley, and how the world would view a romantic relationship between them, he can't truly commit to her. He can't give her the validation she really needs, because everything and everyone has told him that it's wrong. That she's wrong. And all his parents ever taught him is to be afraid of how others will react to that wrongness.

hey look, a man fearing the commitment a woman wants from him! more gender stereotypes!! I wonder what this game is trying to say!!!

Maybe I'm crazy or something. Maybe I'm just looking into it too deep. But I don't really care. I don't care if this is the intended reading, and neither should you. The fact of the matter is that most of the things that define them as toxic are not their fault. Most of the reasons they mistreat each other come from without, rather than within. The only reason they can't love each other is because the world tells them not to. Because it expects them to fill certain roles, to be certain people.

But Ashley can only ever be herself.

Maybe someone who's an actual expert on this subject matter could weigh in and give a true feminist reading. But me? I'm just here to point out patterns. I'm just here to point out facts. And one of those facts is that, to the world around her, Ashley did something wrong: She was born.

The Steam reviews of this game are fucking funny, but a lot of them say one thing that couldn't be further from the truth:

"I can fix her!"

No, you can't. She's only 'broken' in the context of her environment.

But in the words of another analyst:

It's madness to expect tar to behave like water.

So cut them some slack! They might finally succeed in a world that wanted nothing more than for them to fail. It's not our right to take that away from them.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #gaming #gravecest #tcoaal #tcoal #im going all in #and none of you can stop me

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pearlywritings · 6 months

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It all started with the heels

synopsis: Sampo Koski can equally be the greatest help and the worst nightmare while helping you get dressed.

prompt: 19

requested by: a lovely anon

pairing: Sampo Koski x fem!reader

tw: suggestive, established relationship, kind of switch!Sampo

word count: 1.2k+ words in total

a/n: check my Token of appreciation writing event!

“Can’t believe the Supreme Guardian is finally hosting a grand gathering. How many years has passed since the last party of any kind, twenty?”

“Come on, Sampo, I am sure some happened not so long ago,” you lightly chide him, looking at your reflection in the vanity mirror. For a moment his indigo hair is in your sight behind the shoulder, but you chose to ignore him, more concentrated on an earring fitting. “Besides, you weren’t on this planet twenty years ago, were you?” “Huhu, you never know, my dear! Even if I weren’t, I have the information,” the tone of his voice deepens just as it always does when he’s either smug or just very proud of his own deeds. Well, he does know his ways of getting anything he has his eyes on. Just like those invitations to the ball in the Overworld you are currently getting ready for.

“Can you promise not to cause too much havoc?” You hear him hum, half-interested and half-unconvinced. “Sampo Koski, I am serious. I am well aware that you’ve planned all of this to get your hands onto something, but either don’t drag me into it or change your plans right now and stay by my side.”

Checking the necklace and making sure that the lock is on the back of your neck, you finally turn to the man fully and rise from the stool. In all honesty you won’t be too disappointed if he decides to carry on with his initial plans and you’ll be left to yourself for the rest of the evening. Sure it would be much more entertaining if his nevershutting mouth was always near your ear either showering you with compliments or dishing anyone present in that low, borderline seductive voice of his, but just going out and showing off the amazing attire he managed to snatch for you doesn’t sound too bad at all. Maybe you’ll even strike a conversation with Lady Bronya and make acquaintance with her - to rub the fact into the conman’s face later, of course.

“Woah, I must admit, that looking like that you have all the chances to chain me to your side, beautiful,” an appreciative whistle is deserved - a glimmery one-shoulder with a long slitted skirt hugs your body magnificently, as if tailored specifically for you. And it seems to you that Sampo’s eyes savor every bared inch of your body. “Mmm, putting you on a leash sounds quite fitting. Look at you, salivating at the sight of me. You truly have no shame, Koski.”

“How can I have any when such a gorgeous woman stands just five feet away,” just saying that he shortens it to two. Today his fringe is even more frolicking, perfume is more enticing, the hip windows are gone, regrettably, but in exchange you get a nice chest window with the first two buttons of his shirt undone. He looks hella good in red and black. Maybe you should try and get him to wear lipstick to match…

“So, no disguise, hm?” “We have invitations and we will be there to enjoy our time. Why would I want to hide? I’ll let Gepard Landau burn a hole in me for as long as he wants to, it’s not like he has any motive to kick me out.”

“I bet he has. The first one is out of spite.”

“No, no, this man is too proper to do something out of spite,” Sampo reaches to the box on the chair at the side of the vanity table and fishes for a pair of heels, perfect for your dress.

“So, a good boy then? Maybe you should introduce us,” you charmingly smile, sparking a scandalized expression on your partner’s face.

“Don’t wound me like that, my dear! I am your good boy.”

“Sure you are, Koski. So prove it and get on your knees to help me.”

You’ve never seen a man so readily drop onto the floor and reach for a woman’s ankle. He carefully moves the hem of your dress away and leads your feet into the delicate shoe, wrapping the little belt snuggly, but not too tight, fastening the clasp. All the while he is huffing and complaining about you treating the poor Sampo so unfairly, but in the moment you could care less for his words, eyes fixed on those big and strong fingers, handling something so thin and delicate with expertise. Even more diverting they are because you know the many things they are capable of - from the tricks to aid his field of work to the unholy actions people usually don’t speak out loud.

Fuck, if you keep thinking like that you’ll have to ditch the gathering altogether.

“I am wondering,” the honeyed voice snaps you out of your starting to turn dirty thoughts, and you move your gaze to the smirking face, “what could be so distracting that you couldn’t hear my voice anymore? And I asked you a question…”

You have half a mind not to tell him the truth just to tease him, but, judging by the imps dancing in his emerald eyes, he’s already aware.

So all you can is close your eyes and sigh.

“Your hands, what else,” you put the already clad foot down and, balancing on it, slip your other one into the second shoe. “So, what was the question?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing of much importance. Just asking for permission to kiss that pretty thigh.”

“Huh?” Opening your eyes, you stare down at him. The realization hits you - because of the slit your leg is on full display for the man at your feet. And he wants to kiss your thigh? Oh well, he was a good boy for you, after all, you suppose you can allow it.

“Sure, I don’t mind. But finish with the shoe first.”

“All done already.”

You expected for his lips to simply touch beneath where the slit starts, but suddenly one hand of his is on your ass cheek to steady you, the other grabbing your leg under the knee and lifting it. Releasing a surprised gasp, you have to clasp a hand on your mouth to prevent a little moan from escaping when his mouth latches onto the inside of your thigh, sucking a mark onto the skin.

“S-sampo, what the hell-!”

“Mmm, not only you’ve granted me such pleasure, but it seems you’ve worn my favorite pair too,” he tugs the skirt aside even more, admiring the lacy panties, licking his lips. “Maybe you’ll also let me get a taste?” “You horny bastard!” You fume, pushing his head away, getting even angrier when he laughs. At least he lets go of your leg and allows you to take a step back.

“Aaand you’ve just convinced me to ditch my plans and stay by your side the whole night,” he slowly stands up, dusting his pants and giving you a blinding grin. “Won’t stop thinking of that hickie I’ve just given you. Oh, I am gonna have such a great time, whispering in your ear all the things I’m going to do to you after the ball… With my hands, of course, since you find yourself fascinated with them so much.”

You groan. He’s truly decided to test your limits tonight. Sure, you probably started first with your little fantasies back there, but you weren't the one who put some of them into action...

Well, then - two can play that game, and you are going to give that man a raging boner before he manages to get you two a room.

#pearlywritings appreciation event #token of appreciation #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sampo x reader #sampo x fem!reader #sampo koski x reader #sampo koski #honkai star rail suggestive

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inawearyworld · 4 months

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free if you truly wish to be: chapter ii

that fateful first day at the galeries gourmet, and a little bit after, told from the vantage point of the fickelgruber balcony.

2023!wonka x oc, this chapter ~1.9k

fair warning, i am a MASSIVE shakespeare nerd. but, if the 70s movie is anything to go by, so is wonka. so it's fine.

florence, however, as we've established, is Very Much Not Fine.

enjoy!!

(part one) (fic masterlist) (part three)

The outside air was refreshing, almost as refreshing as the young woman’s realization that not a single eye was on her.

That honor and worry went to the newcomer that was becoming ever curiouser to behold.

“Now, who wants to try one?”

The crowd around him clamored for a chance at his flying chocolates, and Florence’s spirit nearly lifted into their twittering flush, only to fall again when-

“I will.”

The buzz of the crowd fell silent at Slugworth’s words, and Florence frowned as the Chocolate Cartel stepped forward with intent to embarrass the young dreamer beyond repair. The boy, though, looked between the three as if this were suddenly the most exciting day of his life. He greeted them, utterly starstruck, but was caught off guard when Slugworth crushed him in a handshake, and Florence winced. She’d seen near-countless hopefuls come to the Galeries filled with entrepreneurial spirit and be driven away by the trio within minutes, but this one seemed…different somehow.

It’s as if he has nothing without this dream, and somehow that gives him more to lose.

She blinked, wondering how such a specific thought could come to her when she’d only just learned this man existed. But her view from the balcony allowed her to study his face, which she did with fascination and a slight speck of shame.

The Cartel each tried one of the chocolates the newcomer had brought, and now they were the ones she watched closely.

Yes, something was different this time.

Because Florence Fickelgruber knew her husband, and despite his attempt to hide his reactions at this moment, the chocolatier had a very expressive face.

He liked that chocolate. He loved it. Even more surprising, so did the others.

They listed off the ingredients they tasted, trying to keep the wonder from their voices, and the younger man responded to each with a fascinatingly short anecdote telling where he’d gotten it.

How could he be so well-traveled, yet so naive? How could-

She realized then that she was smiling, blushing even, feeling as light as if she’d had one of those weightless chocolates herself. It was silly, she knew, to hope for real change simply because of one charming new arrival, but that hope bubbled up regardless as she watched the Cartel exchange eye contact which was far more frazzled than the cool assurance she’d seen earlier.

Slugworth then began his typical long preface to his judgment, the telltale sign that he was about to demolish the young man’s hopes, and Florence from her balcony was the only one who knew.

Should I say something?

Before she could, the “absolute, one hundred percent, worst” came crashing down.

Not hearing the end, the boy-Wonka, as he was apparently called-whooped into another call to the crowd, his smile wide and infectious as-

Then it hit him.

“Wait, the worst?”

“We three are the fiercest of rivals, but we agree on one thing,” Slugworth declared, and Florence rolled her eyes-she’d always been frustrated at never being told much about the inner workings of the Chocolate Cartel, knowing just enough to be sure it was corrupt but not enough to bring the truth to light and be believed, but she was certain that the three were anything but rivals-“A good chocolate should be simple. Plain. Uncomplicated.”

“Whereas this,” her husband said, dripping in condescension and pronouncing each W with a drawl of air, “with all its bells and whistles, well, it’s just…”

“Weird,” Prodnose finished, and the younger man’s gaze fell.

Guilt by association had become a familiar friend of Florence’s over the past two years, but it pricked at her even more intensely now.

“That’s a shame,” Wonka said, so quietly that she had to lean over the balcony to catch it. “If you thought the chocolate was weird…”

Florence leaned forward further, eyes widening as the young man looked up at the Cartel from under the brim of his top hat, his expression having taken on an almost darker confidence.

“You’re going to hate what happens next.”

And with that, Mr. Slugworth was floating.

The crowd gasped, and Florence gasped right along with them, especially when the other two soon joined him. Felix’s face twisted almost comically when he rose to the point of seeing his wife on his balcony, and he tried with little success to swim through the air towards her. They reached for each other again and again, futile attempt after knowingly futile attempt, accompanied by the crowd’s delight, Wonka’s shouts of a satisfied salesman, and the frantic bickering of the Cartel.

“Have a nice flight, darling!” she couldn’t help calling out as Felix continued to rise helplessly past his office and toward the high ceiling of the Galeries. With no one watching her anymore, Florence was free to fall into pealing laughter.

Well, one person was watching.

Wiping a tear of mirth from her eye, she realized she’d caught the glance of Mr. Wonka, who looked up at her with a glint of recognition and a more genuine smile than she’d ever seen in her life.

Huh.

He tipped his hat to her, then turned back to his crowd of customers, who each dropped one single sovereign in his jar before relishing the candy. What’s more, his eyes spent much more time on the people’s happy faces than on the jar to make sure they were paying. This man was in this business for the love of it.

She could have ran down and kissed him right then.

…Aaaaaaaand that was not something she was going to think about right now.

Because apparently this day is so unusual that she’s now thinking in third person.

Get a hold of yourself, Wren.

She watched as customer after customer was lifted into the air, as her husband-your husband, till death do you part-and his Cartel floundered on the ceiling, as Wonka beamed at a little girl he saw near the Galerie’s entrance, as-

As the police came through that very entrance.

She should have known.

She’d tried many times to gain information from her husband by casually bringing up related subjects, because she had a feeling his group had something to do with the local police department being far less just than advertised. But Felix was perfectly tight-lipped, always flipping her words around themselves until he’d turned the conversation as if she hadn’t asked a thing at all.

…How did I ever think…

Never mind.

So they’d initially planned to humiliate the boy and then place him under the law’s eye, even if he hadn’t proved a threat, which he most certainly had.

She sighed, watching as the officers pulled people down from the air. It took them quite a while to figure out a way to retrieve the Chocolate Cartel from the ceiling, but retrieve them they did. Upon reuniting with solid ground, Felix cast his wife a wide-eyed, exasperated look, which she returned with an equally dazed shrug. He rolled his shoulders back, adjusted the cuffs of his suit, and turned smartly on his heel to follow his colleagues out of the Galeries, presumably on their way to regroup.

Shortly after they’d reached the outdoors, the Cartel learned that being temporarily grounded wouldn’t stop the bugs that still resided in them from flying, and they involuntarily took off once again, shouts and curses echoing.

Oh, God.

Well, he said it only lasted twenty minutes.

…They’ll be fine.

Florence grinned and looked down toward Mr. Wonka, hoping despite herself for another glance, but he was in conversation with the one officer that she still trusted. Affable seemed to take pity on the boy, reaching into his pocket and handing him a sovereign of his own.

He wouldn’t have done that if he knew I was watching.

That idea that anyone would think she was against that act of kindness was a twisting thorn in her heart, and she internally vowed to make it as clear as possible that her morals were nowhere near lined up to her husband’s.

As clear as possible to everyone except said husband.

And anyone else that would put my family in danger of losing anything, if he finds out I’m not truly aligned with the brand that’s currently allowing them to survive.

He’d give her jewels, and she’d wear them for a while until he forgot about them, at which point she’d mail them home-under a secret name, her old name, her real name-to be bartered for food and board. What with Felix’s decidedly obvious aversion to anything resembling charity, it was the only thing she could think to do.

“So full of artless jealousy is guilt, it spills itself in fearing to be spilt.”

Huh.

The police and customers had all left by now, and the young man was left standing there, staring at the mark of compassion that had been pressed into his hand by the officer.

The feel of the Galeries had become quiet after the chaos of all that had happened only moments before.

Florence had suddenly found herself nervous.

“Mr. Wonka.”

He startled at the sound, apparently having believed she’d left, but then smiled, pocketing the sovereign as he looked up.

“You’re the actress, the musician! You’re Mrs. Fickelgruber!”

“I am,” she said, lighting up a bit upon being noticed first for her art and only second for her marriage.

“So,” Wonka said with an ever-so-slightly deflated flourish of the hand, “what do you think? Of…all of this?”

“I,” she began, then paused, then cautiously smiled, “do not share my husband’s opinion.”

“Good.”

His eyes were hazel, like hers, and they sparked with an energy so striking that it seemed to travel all the way up to her slightly lofted position.

“Don’t tell him I said this,” she said, looking around to ensure their secrecy and feeling quite like a teenager, “but you’ve really got something. No crowd I’ve seen has ever taken to a newcomer quite like they have to you, so don’t worry about the others’ scare tactics. There hasn’t been anyone here lately with a passion, talent, earnestness like yours-”

I’m rambling I’m rambling STOP RAMBLING you are MARRIED you are a RESPECTABLE WOMAN you are being TOO SINCERE you NEED TO STOP TALKING.

“Just…don’t give up.”

“Thank you,” Wonka said, after a moment, and just as sincerely.

Everything about him is sincere.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” he continued. “Giving up, I mean.”

“Good,” she echoed, and he smiled. “I have a feeling the world would be far worse for it if you did.”

He shook his head as he looked at her, seeming rather unsure of what to think beyond a strangely certain trust.

Well, that makes two of us.

“Really, thank you,” he said. "That means a lot, especially…well, especially coming from you.”

She glanced down for a moment at the swirling wrought-iron balcony beneath her hands, and laughed a little at the sudden realization of their position.

“Tis but thy name that is my enemy.”

He blinked, stunned by the reference, and continued it.

“I take thee at thy word.”

A nearly disbelieving smile broke across her face, then his, and the clock then rang out before she could say anything truly stupid.

“Well. Good day, Mr. Wonka.”

He nodded, considered her for a moment, then slung his cane over his shoulder.

“Call me Willy,” he said with another tip of his hat, then turned to leave. “Glad to have met you, Mrs. Fickelgruber.”

A beat, and then, without thinking, before she lost her courage-

“Call me Wren.”

The clock’s final chime of half past ten echoed and faded, and the young chocolatier smiled once more.

“Good day, Wren.”

#wonka 2023 #wonka movie #wonka x reader #willy wonka x reader #wonka #willy wonka #timothee chalamet #timothée chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet fic #timothee chalamet fanfiction #fiytwtb #wonka fanfiction #wonka fanfic

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gardenofnoah · 2 years

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i did not mean to write this. and yet, here we are. nanami breaks my heart every day. i'm debating whether to make this a multi-part thing because personally i am a fan of make up sex but we'll see wc: 1.2k cw: conflict in established relationship (this is the comfort part)

You’ve been in the kitchen for at least an hour now—standing over the cutting board on the counter, making no move to slice up the vegetables in front of you. Really, all you’ve done is put water in a pot and set it on the stovetop—you didn’t even turn it on. By now you know it’s a lost cause, cooking— but it would be effort you’re not willing to expend to move from the spot where your feet feel like they’re trapped in cement. Because leaving the kitchen means walking past the living room, where you know Kento sits, and if you see him and he looks at you with that face you will split apart at your seams.

You should apologize. You should go out there and tell him you love him because that is what any sensible human being would do for someone they care about after they’ve hurt them. But you can’t, so you don’t. You can’t, because saying the words you’ve been screaming inside you aloud will make this real, and if it’s real then he will have a tangible reason to walk out of this house and never look back. You wouldn’t blame him.

You’d regretted it the moment it left your lips. What he'd said to you cut you deep, and your mouth opened almost automatically. You saw the way it registered with him—shocking at first, that expression quickly replaced by what you knew to be incredible hurt. He said nothing—just turned from you and walked to the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him. Leaving you to stand in your shame that ricocheted off the walls, cutting you down over and over again. If he was packing his things in there, who could’ve blamed him? It’d be a long time coming.

You’d been at each other’s throats for weeks. Kento was chronically late getting home and you were irritable and distant and standoffish, and it dawned on you that you don’t know which one came first. You don’t even remember how tonight’s argument started—it didn’t feel like it mattered anymore, with the way it escalated—it was something that had been building for far too long and had come to a head the moment you opened your mouth. You might as well have told him he was worthless, with the way you’d cherry-picked your worst words for him. You knew they would hurt him and you said them anyway, that’s what you did when you were hurt and afraid—you’d lash out like an animal caught in a trap. The weight of the aftermath, this time, was more than you could hold.

“Sweetheart?”

A string of expletives leaves your lips as the knife you’d been holding clatters against the cutting board. You spin around, trying to steady your breathing as you take in the man now standing in front of you. The man who is certainly too close and looking far too vulnerable for the way you just punched a hole through his chest. You could feel yourself tense, bracing for impact. The one you get is almost more devastating than the one you’d been expecting.

“Be sweet,” he murmurs gently, lips brushing over your temple. He reaches his arms around your shoulders, one hand coming up to tangle itself in the hair on the back of your head.

“You first,” you sniffle, and you jab him in the side lightly before you allow your fist to unfurl and curl around his shirt, pulling him to you. It’s not what you wanted to say, but you hope he hears what you meant.

“I love you,” he tells you. There’s a soft smile stretching across his face—tentative, like he knows he’s pushing his luck, but he thinks it’s safe to do so— and it is. You need him like you need air. You want to hear him say it again, but you can’t bear to ask. Can’t bear to put him through anything more tonight.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, and he presses another kiss to your hairline. You bury your face in his chest and squeeze your eyes shut, too proud to let him see you cry again. He knows anyway—of course he does—and you feel his arms tighten around you. He presses kisses to the crown of your head and whispers his love to you again. Your grip on his shirt tightens. Anything to tether you here—the alternative, to be without him, is unbearable.

“I don’t want you to leave,” you confess, and it’s barely audible, but you assume he’s heard by the way his grip on you turns to that of a vice.

“Sweetheart,” his voice is strained, and the guilt squeezes around your gut, “look at me, please.”

You take in a shuddering breath to steel your resolve, and you lift your head up to meet his gaze. All you see is hurt. You think he might actually cry, and it breaks your heart again.

“There is no reality that exists in which I belong anywhere but where you are. Do you know that?”

And you can’t say anything. How could you? You can’t tear yourself from his gaze, because he’s showing you everything. He’s torn himself apart just to let you see inside. He does so, full of fear that you’ll reject what you’ve found. He does it anyway.

“We will let each other down—there will be days where you are certain you can’t bear to look at me again, and there will be days where I feel the same. But we’ll still choose to love each other. We’ll still choose to be here.”

You shake in his arms at his words. You’ve not said a thing since your quiet admission, and it doesn’t thwart him at all. He keeps talking—keeps shredding your insides with the love he lets drip off of him like he has spare to give away. You’re bleeding out in front of him and he holds you tighter. Holds you together.

“Do you still love me?”

You look at him, incredulous. “Of course I do,” and it comes out sharper than you intended. He doesn’t flinch. He exhales, like it’s a relief. You think it should feel like a life sentence.

“Do you know that I love you?”

“Yes,” you breathe, and you feel tears well up in your eyes again—your entire body is screaming to look away, to get away—to leave before his love swallows you whole, but you don’t. He’s rooted you to him. You’re surprised that it doesn’t hurt like you thought it would. Not in the ways that would really be damaging.

“Okay,” he whispers, cradling your head against his chest to tuck you under his chin, holding you tightly to him, “okay.”

You let go of his shirt for the first time and let your arms wrap around him, holding him tightly. You feel the tension in his muscles subside—like he was waiting (hoping) for you to hold him upright. He trembles slightly in your arms and you hold him tighter.

“Ken,” your whisper is soft against the fabric of his T-shirt, and he sucks in a breath at the familiar way you shorten his name, “can we go to bed?”

“Yes,” he says wetly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “let’s go to bed, my love.”

this fic belongs to me (@b-writes-things). i do not allow anyone to repost, edit, or reproduce this work.

#nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x gn reader #nanami writing #nanami fic #i am deeply #deeply #projecting here #bwritesthings #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #i just want to date this man #and love him everyday until i die

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possibly-in-wonderland · 7 months

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Boromir and his chaotic hobbit wife

(and some incorrect quotes ft her in general, maybe one day she'll have a name...but for now we refer to her as hobbitess)

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Boromir: *wakes up to find flowers woven in his hair*

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Boromir: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) Hobbitess: What's that? Boromir: Remorse code. Hobbitess: I'm even angrier now.

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Boromir: Fight me! Hobbitess, standing behind him and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

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Boromir: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Hobbitess, they’re perfect. Hobbitess: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a warg.

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Boromir: You have Crayons? Hobbitess: Yes, I have— Boromir: You're— how old are you? Hobbitess: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE SINK BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

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Hobbitess: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall? Boromir: His cats' names are Walter and Rose. Hobbitess: That's not what I asked. Boromir: That is all the information I have.

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Boromir: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Hobbitess: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Boromir: ... Boromir: You mean ring bearER, right? Hobbitess: ... Boromir: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

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Hobbitess: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Boromir: Please, just say fuck.

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Hobbitess: You know what? Let’s give it a go. What’s the worst that could happen? Boromir: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

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Hobbitess: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Boromir: Hobbitess no. Gimli: Mistlefoe. Boromir: Please stop encouraging her.

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Aragorn: We need a distraction. Boromir: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Hobbitess, whispering: My time has come

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Hobbitess, Pippin, and Merry are sitting on a bench Gandalf: Why do you guys look so sad? Hobbitess: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Gandalf sits down* Pippin: The bench is freshly painted.

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Gandalf: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Pippin: Put spaghetti in it. Gandalf: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Merry: Put spaghetti in it. Gandalf: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Hobbitess: Put spaghetti in it. Gandalf: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

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Hobbitess: *Screams* Pippin: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Aragorn: Should we do something? Merry: No, I want to see who wins.

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Hobbitess: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Pippin: The cow??? Hobbitess: What? Merry: Pippin, W H Y?

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Hobbitess: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold? Pippin: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Merry: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Pippin: Good thinking.

~~~~

Hobbitess: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked... Sam: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine! Frodo: In your pantry! Hobbitess: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop? Sam: Is your friend here? Hobbitess, motioning to Pippin: Yeah. Sam, to Pippin: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:( Merry: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew- Merry: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?! Merry: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN Everyone else: No. Merry, to Sam and Frodo: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS Sam: YAAAAAAAAY! Frodo: THE PRESTIGE!

~~~~ Hobbitess: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Gandalf: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Hobbitess: Four of us saw it, Gandalf. How do you explain that? Gandalf: *points at Merry & Pippin* Sleep deprivation. *points at Sam* Paranoia. *points at Frodo* Delusional personality disorder.

~~~~

*The squad right before Hobbitess' & Boromir's wedding* Pippin: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Merry: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Sam: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Frodo: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Aragorn, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

~~~~

Frodo, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here. Pippin: Hey. Merry: Hi. Sam: Hello. Hobbitess: Hey! Frodo: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Hobbitess: We were out of seed cakes.

~~~~

Frodo: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. Pippin: What if it bites me and it dies!? Merry: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Pippin, learn to listen. Sam: What if it bites itself and I die? Hobbitess: That’s voodoo. Boromir: What if it bites me and someone else dies? Sam: That’s correlation, not causation. Pippin: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? Hobbitess: That’s kinky. Frodo: Oh my God.

~~~~

Hobbitess: Time for plan G. Pippin: Don’t you mean plan B? Hobbitess: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Merry: What about plan D? Hobbitess: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Sam: What about plan E? Hobbitess: I’m hoping not to use it. Pippin dies in plan E. Gandalf: I like plan E.

~~~~

Boromir: HELP! I TOLD HOBBITESS I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Aragorn, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

~~~~

Hobbitess: Boromir and I don’t use pet names. Aragorn: I see. Hey, what do bees make? Hobbitess: Honey? Boromir: Yes, dear? Hobbitess: Aragorn: Don't ever lie to my face again.

~~~~

Hobbitess: What time is it? Pippin: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Pippin: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Gandalf: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Pippin: It’s 2 am

~~~~

Boromir: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Hobbitess: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Pippin isn’t

~~~~

Hobbitess: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Merry: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Hobbitess: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Pippin: edible

~~~~

Hobbitess: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Boromir: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~~~~

Hobbitess, pointing: May I sit there? Boromir: That's my lap Hobbitess: That doesn't answer my question, Boromir.

~~~~

Boromir: Three words. Say them and I'm yours. Hobbitess: Three words. Boromir:

~~~~

Boromir: Welcome, fellow idiots Hobbitess: Hello, Boromir Boromir: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Hobbitess: You underestimate me

#lotr #boromir #the fellowship of the ring #merry brandybuck #pippin took #gandalf the grey #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #original character #srsly what do we name her

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lovelytayforce · 1 year

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Shifu's not so complicated relationship with fraud

Why do we as a society not talk about how comfortable Shifu is with committing fraud?

Now, first, let’s talk about fraud itself, this is what it means: wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain. Or a person or thing intended to deceive others, typically by unjustifiably claiming or being credited with accomplishments or qualities. Now before we start, I want you all to know I am not condemning Shifu for his crimes, if anything I love the fact Shifu is so unapologetically happy with himself and who he is to just wake up a day after “the worst day of his life”, his words not mine, and choose violence and fraud above all things against his Master’s wishes because he didn’t get his way. Girl boss, Gate keep, and Gaslit amirite? Like what an icon!? I love this and think we should talk about it more cause it’s canon Shifu loves him some fraud and if he doesn’t get his way he will ruin everyone’s day for it. Again, we have to start from the beginning, because again, THIS IS IMPORTANT. “Oogway is choosing the dragon warrior.”, simple enough but the thing is Oogway never says it’s going to be one of the five anywhere in the film. Just “It’s time.” So, it could be anyone, he could point to the west and say “The Dragon warrior is not here but to the west.” and no one could say he lied about anything because it was Shifu hyping the whole town up with posters at the ready for HIS WIN. Not his student, his own. This is all about him. This is all about Shifu. This is Shifu’s show. And I have to highlight this short exchange between Oogway and Shifu before the tournament because it's so telling in their arcs. I know people love the joke, Oogway just dipped on Shifu to deal with his own bs, and tbh I would too cause that’s your family drama, not mine. But he warns Shifu, he feared he would not live to see this day and even implies “Whomever I choose.” again not a single confirmation he would choose one of his students, would bring him peace. And Shifu is left to ponder those words as this elaborate celebration he’d created for this “historic day they’ve been waiting 1,000 years for!” is also for him. Imagine that for a second. You are also a part of this historic day and its results. But Shifu, our beloved idiot does not intake that in immediately, no. He’s ready to show off his five totally awesome lotto tickets, I mean the furious five. That and he’s so focused on his own grandeur, he’s out here sounding like a wrestling narrator, selling the strength and technique of his students rather than who they are outside of that skill. Which shows even he does not understand who the Dragon warrior is meant to be. Again, Oogway only says “I sense the Dragon warrior among us.” That doesn’t mean his students, just anywhere in the area. HE WAS WARNED. And then the Dragon warrior is chosen and Shifu’s immediate response is to try to stop everything even though it’s moving as it should just not in the way he wanted what’s the first thing this man does when his students, specifically Tigress apologizes for failing him?

That’s right baby, FRAUD. Didn’t even hesitate or think about it for longer than 10 seconds. Just straight up creating a toxic situation for fraud and bullying while his Master is alive and well in this world. But as we’ve established Shifu is an angry gatekeeping girl boss. And it only gets worse from here. Shifu not only threatens to kill Po but oh no. Cause that wouldn’t be enough for this Girlboss, okay? No, he’s got to demean and make fun of Po for his body and insinuate how the Dragon warrior is chosen and given the scroll when again, OOGWAY HAS NEVER SAID ANY OF THESE THINGS. And when he realizes Po is aware of the history of the Wuxi finger hold + how it affects the holder, etc, etc and even states “Oogway may have picked you and when I’m through with you. You are going to wish he hadn’t! Are we clear?” which means he’s VERY VERY VERY aware of what he is doing. Shifu willingly committed fraud. And even laughs about his decision, he is so happy with his ingenious idea to underplay what his Master, who sees him as a friend and a loyal student at his side and even supports his efforts for the tournament that wasn’t needed. It was just a flashy appetizer before the main meal. But nonetheless doesn’t tell him to stop because his hard work deserves to be shown off but also Shifu, a 60+ year old man is not only beefing with a 20 year old but also stepping all over Oogway’s decision because he is super upset he’s not the center of attention. He even throws away every shred of honor and dignity within Kung fu to make sure Po feels as unwelcome and inadequate as possible, we’ve all seen the “Level zero” scene but did y’all notice how even the furious five goes to help Po when he falls into the training Hall and Shifu straight up STOPS THEM WITH HIS HAND, and then smiles as Po screams in pain. This man enjoys fraud and revels in it with joy, it brightens his damn day more than the sun itself!!

Shifu willingly breeds and approves of his students also bullying Po because he didn’t get his “I trained the Dragon Warrior” trophy with his five lotto tickets-I mean The furious five… Which translates to the next few scenes that define their latter interactions with Po because students tend to mimic their masters. In good ways or bad ways… Especially to his daughter, Tigress who especially perpetuates Shifu’s ire toward Po even though her goal as clearly shown in the flashback was never the scroll but Shifu’s love as a father. Which the scroll would have never given her cause Shifu’s a selfish twat. Shifu even laughs RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS DAUGHTER, about the fact his beautiful fraud and bullying got Po to quit and he’s so smitten with himself about it as they walk to the training hall and even says “All we can do is resume our training and trust that in time, the true dragon warrior will be revealed.” He’s just outright ignoring the fact, Oogway will never change his mind about who he chose. This is peak delusion ladies and gentlemen. So, if you ever wonder why Tai Lung so easily brought up fraud in their fight scene together, just know from this moment before they opened that door to the training hall. Shifu was all about that fraud to fix his problems. Until he got into one last argument about peach trees and seeds, and Oogway died, showing he wasted his time being a controlling asshole on the final days of his friend's life. And then remembered: “Oh wait bro fraud is actually wrong, oh god what have I done!?” And then he got physically beaten up by the consequences of his actions via Tai Lung and the mere sweet scent of fraud again, which he says no to. And that’s Shifu’s not so complicated relationship with Fraud. We need more fics where people have Po and the five bringing up the fact he was cool with fraud once upon a time. It’d be funny.

#Kung fu panda #Master Shifu #Po ping #Master Tigress #furious five #Oogway #I promise I won't do another one I just had to get this outta my system #cause its FRAUD #its so funny shifu is just doing a crime and doesn't get shit on for it #outside his son beating his ass #how do other masters not clown him for this???#Taylor talks #long post #text post

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blackcatrph · 2 years

Text

» ━━ SABRINA CARPENTER ‘ EMAILS I CAN’T SEND ’ SENTENCE MEMES.

lyrics pulled from sabrina carpenter’s album ‘ emails i can’t send. ’ please amend pronouns where necessary. nsfw content present.

EMAILS I CAN’T SEND.

“ it’s times like these i wish i had a time machine. ”

“ were you really sleeping ? ”

“ were you lying to me and the family ? ”

“ there’s no us in us when i’m lacking trust. ”

“ you want to discuss ? ”

“ you disgust me. ”

“ don’t make me cuss you out. ”

“ why did you let me down ? ”

“ don’t say sorry now. ”

“ thanks to you, i can’t love right. ”

“ i get nice guys and villainise them. ”

“ i read their texts like they’re having sex right now. ”

“ i’m scared i’ll find out that it’s true. ”

“ i blame you for every worst i assume. ”

“ don’t think i’ll find forgiveness as fast as mom did. ”

“ god i love you, but you’re such a dipshit. ”

“ you were all i looked up to, now i can’t even look at you. ”

VICIOUS.

" it was dressed up in heated emotion. ”

“ i tried to look for the best in the worst. ”

“ fuck me, that caused a commotion. ”

“ you’re lucky i’m a private person. ”

“ i’ve quietly carried your burden. ”

“ everyone thinks you’re an angel but shit, i would probably use different wording. ”

“ you’re so vicious. ”

“ love me and then pretend you didn’t. ”

“ crush my heart and wreck my image. ”

“ why you gotta be so vicious ? ”

“ you just run to whoever is winning. ”

“ you said it was me and you for life and now you’re kinda acting like i died. ”

“ you don’t feel remorse. you don’t feel the effects. ”

“ you don’t think you hurt me if you wish me the best. ”

“ i should have known all along i was only the next one to take your love songs as a promise. ”

“ i loved you, but i wish i didn’t. ”

READ YOUR MIND.

“ i can’t read your mind. ”

“ you say that you need to be alone, but night and day you want me at your beck and call. ”

“ you say you know that you might be crossing a line.. ”

“ to think we could ever be casual. ”

“ you’re not my friend. ”

“ why the fuss ? if you say you wanna be mine ? ”

“ tell me, what’s going to happen when it’s you and me in a room but you know you can’t have it ? ”

“ did i get the message in the way you intended ? ”

“ tell me that you need me in your life. ”

BECAUSE I LIKED A BOY.

“ you showed up with a boombox. ”

“ who knew cuddling on trampolines could be so reckless ? ”

“ we bonded over black eyed peas and complicated exes. ”

“ it was all so innocent. ”

“ now i’m a homewrecker, i’m a slut. ”

“ i’ve got death threats filling up semitrucks. ”

“ tell me who i am. ”

“ guess i don’t have a choice. ”

“ i’m the hot topic on your tongue. ”

“ i’m a rebound getting around stealing from the young. ”

“ everything’s derailing. ”

“ i was only trying to hold you close. ”

“ you said i’m too late to be your first love but i’ll always be your favourite. ”

“ and all of this for what ? ”

“ when everything went down, we’d already broken up ! ”

ALREADY OVER.

“ we’ve been talking for hours about how we shouldn’t talk for hours on end. ”

“ we’d probably be better off as friends. ”

“ same time here next weekend ? ”

“ say we won’t do this again. ”

“ how am i supposed to close the door when i still need the closure ? ”

“ how am i supposed to leave you now ? ”

“ selfishly, i don’t want to give you time to be on someone else’s lips. ”

“ after the aftermath, i know you’ll be coming back. ”

HOW MANY THINGS.

“ there’s no hiding from the thought of us. ”

“ i got ways to find you anywhere. ”

“ i consider you, i’m not trying to. ”

“ it doesn’t matter whether or not i want to, i can’t help it. ”

“ it’s a habit. ”

“ your corner in my mind is well established. ”

“ i wonder how many things you think about before you get to me. ”

“ i feel myself falling further down your priorities. ”

“ i still make excuses for you constantly. ”

“ remember when you left once ? that never made too much sense to me. ”

“ it hurt you so bad hurting me. ”

“ you really came to me for sympathy. ”

“ am i not even a second�� thought ? ”

BET U WANNA.

“ you told me i’m your only. ”

“ it’s all unfolding babe. ”

“ didn’t think about it when you let me down. ”

“ hurts to see me out of your reach. ”

“ bet you want to love me now. ”

“ that’s right, feel the way it feels when you don’t have control. ”

“ is it feeding all your fears ? ”

“ i bet you hate the way that you said goodbye, and you can’t even tell me why. ”

“ i hate the way that you left me dry. ”

“ i’ll keep that between you and i. ”

NONSENSE.

“ i might change your contact to ‘don’t leave me alone’. ”

“ you said you like my eyes and you like to make them roll. ”

“ treat me like a queen. ”

“ now you’ve got me thrown. ”

“ i can’t help myself when you get close to me. ”

“ i don’t want no one else. ”

“ here’s a lil song i wrote, it’s about you and me. ”

“ i’ll be honest, looking at you got me thinking nonsense. ”

“ when you’ve got your arms around me, it feels so good. ”

“ i can’t find my chill, i must have lost it. ”

FAST TIMES.

“ sky looks so purple i can taste it. ”

“ what the fuck is patience ? ”

“ give me a second to forget i ever really meant it. ”

“ my feelings used to be serrated. ”

“ you speak in such a perfect cadence. ”

BAD FOR BUSINESS.

“ he’s good for my heart, but he’s bad for business. ”

“ he tears me apart when he grants my wishes. ”

“ all my friends think i’ve gone crazy. ”

“ we look good in photographs. ”

“ i like the way you like to laugh at dirty jokes. ”

“ i’ve never been so glad to be so tired. ”

“ i’m mad for you. ”

“ it’s sad but it’s true. ”

“ if i’m just writing happy songs, will anybody sing along ? ”

“ you had to go and break into my head. ”

“ i would try to fight these feelings but i can’t find a single reason. ”

“ i’d make all the same mistakes again. ”

“ he’s good, it’s bad. the best i’ve ever had. ”

“ i know that everyone sees that he’ll be the death of me. ”

DECODE.

“ you’re good at the falling, not the staying there. ”

“ you’re good at the giving too much and then getting scared. ”

“ you’re good at impersonating someone who cares. ”

“ you had me for a minute there. ”

“ now i wonder why i let your confusion keep me up at night. ”

“ i reread every single undertone and i overanalyse it. ”

“ where else can we go ? ”

“ there’s nothing left here to decode. i’m done looking for signs. ”

“ there’s a weight off my shoulders now that i don’t chase you. ”

“ did that emasculate you ? ”

“ learning from you that i can walk away too. ”

#sentence meme #sentence memes #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #rp meme #ask meme #rp ask prompts #rp ask memes #rp lyric meme #lyric rp meme

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bloompompom · 10 months

Note

bloooooommyyyy <333 i just want to hear about eren. maybe like a lil he gets jealous at the bar?? jean's being a little too flirty? pls indulge me i'm having the worst day ever

ilysm 4eva

hi my bb!! ooo love me a good jealous eren so i am happy to indulge hehe also i hope your day gets better xoxo

content: <1k words (written on my phone so i’m not sure, this is new for me!), female reader described as wearing a skirt, established relationship, jealousy, thigh riding, slight exhibitionism, nsfw 18+ only

“What was that?”

Despite the bass thrumming in your chest, the hustle of the crowd ringing in your ears, the scorn in Eren’s voice was distinct. Enough to make you wince—not with fear, more like a ‘whoopsies!’ because maybe you should thought it over before agreeing to dance with Jean. It was a friendly dance, of course, but your boyfriend didn’t necessarily see it that way. He had a tendency to get jealous, which you had to admit was a tad endearing.

“Oh, c’mon,” you laughed off, resting your hand against Eren’s arm as you brushed by him on your way to your booth in the back of the club. “He asked, and what was I supposed to say?”

Jean was harmless. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone try and step on his friend’s toes by moving in on his girlfriend, even if there were times he wanted to.

Eren was well aware of that fact, too. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that when he finally had you, all to himself, he’d have to learn to live with the stares from envious men—how they always seemed to let their gazes linger for far longer than what Eren would consider polite.

Well, let’s be honest here: to Eren, it would be more polite for them to look elsewhere, but that was besides the point.

“Oh, he asked,” Eren condescended. You gave him an eye roll, one he didn’t catch as he trailed behind you. “Then what could I get you to do if I asked?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you balked.

Even with your laugh at the end, his face didn’t lighten. It wasn’t an inherently malicious expression—perhaps devious was a better descriptor. Sinful, even.

He didn’t answer, instead opting to take a seat at the lonely booth your friends had snagged for the night, all of them now scattered along the dance floor in various states of inebriation.

Eren sat with legs spread, looking at you with a tilted chin. A silent request—no, demand—for you to join him. You played along with a grin, as always, feeling that familiar heat already pooling in your core with every pace toward him.

Before you could take your rightful seat on his lap, he took you by the waist and corrected you with a ‘tch.’

He angled you so that when he tugged you down, he did it with your back turned to him. He held you there, plopped not on his lap but on his thigh, each of your legs on either side of it.

Dressed in such a skimpy skirt, the fabric dug into the flesh of your thighs, deeper as Eren hiked the hem higher. You know, just to get it out of the way for you.

Eren leaned into you, his breath warming the back of your ear but chilling your spine as he said, “If I asked you to get yourself off on my thigh, right here, would you be my good girl and do it for me?”

He punctuated the question by working you over his thigh just once. It was enough to pull a whine from you, a not-so-subtle reminder of who you belonged to, and how much you loved it when he was like this.

While you were quick enough to swallow the needy sound, let the breath hitch in your throat before another broke free, it didn’t matter because Eren already heard it, and he wanted another.

You could sense it just in the way he spoke. That self-satisfied cadence that irked you to no end but somehow made it even hotter—or at least, made your face hotter—when he told you, “Come on now, we don’t have all night. You’re not stopping until you’ve made yourself come.” He bounced you on his leg. “So you better hurry up before Jean comes asking for another dance.”

#thank you for this it was v fun #b.blurbs #i wrote this while making ramen don’t mind the issues #bloom’s buds 🌱

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cephalog0d · 11 months

Text

WIP Whenever

Tagged by @outtoshatter for WIP Whenever

Here's some magical shenanigans being investigated by the best/worst Batkid team, who are definitely not going to strangle each other before they figure it out. (Somewhat longer than intended but I got carried away writing these two being bitchy because that's just who I am as a person.)

"What the shit," Jason said flatly. Instead of the symbol he had just drawn, his photo showed a completely blank piece of paper.

"Told you," Dick said with a shrug. "I tried a bunch of approaches and none of them would digitize the image. Analog only, apparently. I had to sketch them all by hand."

"So that's why you made me go way the hell to Bludhaven for your shit."

"Wha- Yes! I told you that!"

"No the fuck you didn't."

"I said I had physical case documents I needed!"

"How was I supposed to know that meant 'undigitizable magic sketches'?! I assumed you'd just been too lazy to upload stuff!"

"Seriously?" Dick's glare was deeply unimpressed. Jason just rolled his eyes, refusing to feel bad about the very reasonable assumption.

"Hey, I still went and got them, didn't I?"

"After blackmailing me for a future mystery favor that I'm definitely going to hate."

"Technically that was extortion."

"Jason."

"I'm just saying. You should really know the difference."

Dick pressed his hands over his eyes and took a deep breath to reset. Point to Jason.

"If we've established that I'm not actually lazy or incompetent-" Dick said once he had collected himself.

"I didn't say anything about competence, don't put words in my mouth."

"-can you please find those sketches so we can evaluate if they're also affected?"

"Fine." Jason decided he could be magnanimous in his momentary victory and yanked the box towards him. "Just tell me this is in some kind of order."

"Well," Dick said in a deliberately mild tone that Jason did not like one bit, "they were before you threw them in the trunk upside down."

Perfect. Fuck you very much once again, past-Jason.

#When you try to spite your sibling and it comes back to bite you in the ass #Writing #wip whenever #Batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #batkids being batsibs #Batbros #ceph writes things

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kirbyliker12 · 11 months

Note

What's ur full analysis on Susie

Ohoho….😏😏😏I suppose…..I’ll Unleash the Thoughts all at once😏😏😏😏😏normally you’d need more kirbyliker14EXP(exposure points) for it to be comprehensible but recommended levels are always wrong (this is the worst intro I have ever made

/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|

Ok first of all to get That out of the way uhh the whole star Allies Susie desc got mistranslated(classic star allies!) basically it’s supposed to be like “helping other planets with technology” and the whole exterminate thing is supposed to be just crushing bad people okay are we clear did we get that good (also I’m gonna be putting my Suzy kaomoji between points because I Said So(It might act b me favorite ?? I’m reely happy w how it turned out 😙my magolor kaomoji ᴑ /₍⸌╷╷⸍₎\ ᴑ is close but I think it’s mostly bc I felt proud as hell after figuring out how to put the ears on one line)

/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|

Ok first off her lore basically blah blah Suzy was Exposed To The Internet At A Young Age

Fun(?????????) fact😋 as it makes no sense for Max to have done those experiments with star dream with his only daughter in close proximity so it’s highly likely that Suzy disobeyed her fathers warnings and prohibition and technically caused her own disappearance (why am I mentioning dis??😏ermm aheu heu you’ll c)

Suzy returns after seeing the Horrors and now works for Max

Come to think of it idk if Suzy even knew of max’s real goal like ik the novel made it so he openly misses her but ?? The novel also made him live at the end so No Im not counting that data in my

Anyway blah blah Suzy feels resentment for max and how either A)simple minded his goal of “unlimited money” is or B) that he doesn’t even recognize her

Notably this is prevalent in the Japanese version as shown which means he intentionally tried to forget his feelings (in other words what makes a human=human) and then started forgetting them more after more usage but didn’t see a problem with it (why are the haltmanns Like That)

/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|

Anyway time for the main story events

It’s been established that this is after Susie clawed her way out of hell(???) (before magolor made it cool) at like idk 11 years old so that’s slightly less impressive than the average Kirby adventure

Also that max has now lost abt 90% of his self (willingly??? Idk don’t ask me) and appears to focus entirely on money

Mr maxx pulls a questionable rant out at Kirby and tries to obliterate this 9 year olds entire world after losing a single battle but Suzy takes the helmet right after it touches his head(a tiny bit too late to enact the action?? A tiny bit too early???? Is this the worst outcome????Could he have survived and been reasoned with after defeat ???? I still don’t know STOP ASKING ME) and she enacts her famous line

She was so real for that she yippyd before it was cool oh anyway she then comes out(WOOOO GOOD FOR HER💥💥💥💥💥) as someone who’s been Against max all this time (in other words…disobeying her father…..😏😏😏I can’t believe Suzy made a Suzy reference)

However her calculated plan backfires and as the helmet touched his head but he didn’t have the helmet he gets 99% of his entire self destroyed and now the cold calculated machine decides to destroy the universe (erm…WHOOPS!😂😂😂 susie is so losercoded I can’t believe everyone calls her the Normal Person how do you screw up a plan this bad like seriously oh my god marx and magolor enacted their plan perfectly and taranza managed to technically bring the heros of the lower worlds to sectonia but Susie completely screwed up they should start calling her Losie)

However when learning of this susie doesn’t react in a normal way like there’s no sulking or sad face she gets up and immediately thinks of a plan to defeat star dream (giving Kirby the gimmick that notably cannot fly for very long without certain abilities and has quite short ranged attacks) then meta knight shows up n gives a much better plan by using his cool ship

As you can see her body language is all formal and cool and she’s all commanding and stuff (her autistic stare has captivated my soul) HOWEVER😏😏😏😏😂😏ohhh babyyyy I was dying after realizing this

As soon as they fly off screen susie immediately establishes a more desperate pose and language (in like. Every other version I think this is the American version even Europe got it better Suzy uses a formal name for Kirby instead of pinky)

In other words Suzy refuses to show her weakness in front of people(LOSIE THEORY CONFIRMED??????) then at the end she immediately leaves pop star instead of like lingering around to celebrate with Kirby like taranza did or the end of rtdl with Kirby’s chums (u can probably use ur imagination for the possible reasons she chooses to be alone😙😙😙)

/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|

ok robobot events over wooo anyway I Wasnt Sure How To Title This

Robobot is known for having a similar lore story to Taranza where villian that dies actually lost their self prior to the events of the game and the villian who gets redeemed had a persona connection with them

When we later see Suzy in Allies she appears Completely Normal And Fine compared to taranza

However I really doubt that she’s just FINE I mean you saw during the cutscenes I bet offscreen she’s tormented by thinking abt what her dad could have been and how he ended up and how she caused his fate (ok I changed my mind I don’t want losie theory to be confirmed take it back)

Notably, she’s completely dedicated herself to max’s company even though she seemed to really dislike him at the end(she coulda just made a whole new company)is this her way of apologizing for destroying him ?? A way of making her dad proud ????? Where do these questions keep coming from

While taranza gets to openly grieve and dedicate some time to receiving closure Suzy does Not the whole thing abt planet robobot is constantly upgrading and improving and so on and GRIEF is COUNTER PRODUCTIVE (oouuhhhghgghh I feel like things obtained from evolution that are counterproductive to modern life could b soo interesting to explore with Suzy like uh adrenaline giving you paranoia and complex emotions such as guilt and embarrassment being a side effect of brains developing more)

/ ⎝|˶ᗜ ᗜ|🍦🍦🍦

No more “girlboss” Susie we’ve advanced to LOSIE susie now 👍👍👍👍👍👍

#kirbyliker12thoughts #susie haltmann #susanna patrya haltmann #susie kirby #ask #it’s..reely l8 here oh man DOUBLE WHAMMY

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growling · 25 days

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for the ask game (with either raincode or danganronpa) :

👛 your favorite rare pair?

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

♠️ favorite protagonist?

(from this ask game)

👛 your favorite rare pair?

I don't think much about danganronpa shipping anymore (my brain is now just permanently rotating enoshima, kamukura, komaeda, ouma and kiibo there like rotisserie chickens instead, i am TOO BUSY!!!), so rain code it is: yumayomi/kokohell/the japanese side calls it yumayomi ig and the english side does not call it anything because no one except me and like 2 other people care. yuma & yomi are just so objectively hilarious as a duo and the possibilities of putting them in Situations are fucking endless nobody does it like they do it. every day another yuma and yomi au idea establishes itself in my mind i am running out of storage room i have so many other things i should care about that aren't wacky rain code yaois but guess what i cannot they won't let me

(also fubuyomi honorable mention. I have to mention fubuyomi they also drive me but I have zero words to describe it. oh and worshipper x priest despite me keeping silent about it for a solid few months i did not forget religious serial killer toxic sludge yaoi anyway have you listened to we will commit wolf murder by of montreal for no reason in particular)

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

zero hesistation ougoku danganronpa like what is you people's PROBLEM??? "it's abusive" jesse what the fuck are you talking about. Ouma did not "manipulate" him Gokuhara knew exactly what he was doing. Ouma explicitly told him his plans for the Insect Meet and Greet in the FTE's right before the event, and Gokuhara got mad at him because he lied about liking bugs, (which Ouma had to do because you've all seen how Gokuhara reacts to people that don't. you've seen it) NOT because he suddenly realized he was being manipulated or something. So many people dismiss the sheer amount of agency Gokuhara actually had in chapter 4, in favour of painting the situation as just "poor stupid baby gonta got tricked into murder by the big bad ouma :((((" while. he is not STUPID (HE IS LITERALLY A SCIENTIST??) he was not COERCED into his crimes, he was a WILLING ACCOMPLICE!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!! He did it in a misguided attempt at mercy killing his classmates after finding out the world got fucked and everything sucks now. There are multiple pieces of dialogue that highly imply Ouma did in fact also want to mercy kill the class - which also makes sense as it would end the killing game (you know his. main. true. goal.) This would mean that he only started his plan to become the “mastermind” after Gonta told him to not die with him <- this one's quoted from my favourite dr theory blog jacksmusesdrv3 hello hava good day I couldn't find another way to word this myself. "Ouma faked being sad Gokuhara's about to be/got executed in front of him" his reaction literally parallels Kuzuryuu's to Pekoyama's death buddy. buddy. Ouma's entire thing is that he lies about lying about lying about lying WHY are you taking his word at face value why are you believing whAT THE LIAR IS TELLING YOU?????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY I CANNOT TAKE THIS. People treat Gokuhara like he's stupid (which is "funny" (he said through clenched teeth) since isn't that the entire thing everybody ingame severely underestimates him and then. i can't) while he and Ouma are two of some of the smartest people in the game. And! Gokuhara is perfectly capable of lying and having ulterior motives we've all saw him do that right :)))) multiple times right :)))))) Gokuhara even SAYS Ouma didn't trick him BECAUSE HE DIDN'T. HE DID NOT. These two have the some of the most genuine dynamics in dr, and the best in ndrv3, and you dare disrespect them like this. shame on you. SHAME. People always assume the worst in Ouma, and the best in Gokuhara. This is my personal hell. I am not okay.

♠️ favorite protagonist?

Easily Yuma, beating literally all of dr's protags (though dr1 Naegi has second place. I love you Naegi Makoto). Where do I even start? I think I'm too tired after the above rant to articulate myself anymore and I think if I wasn't that essay would take an entire week to finish lmao.

Thanks for the ask anon :3 !!!

#ask game #mine #ask #ougoku #<- only thing getting tagged

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leandra-winchester · 1 year

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Trans people aren't a threat to cis women

We need to stand together with them bc as women we understand what it's like to feel unsafe, to feel targeted and to feel governments at large don't care about our protection.

To have people not care if we're attacked, assaulted and killed. A reality trans people face as much as cis women do.

I know you are intelligent, we've spoken and you are methodical and logical. But you are hitting the exact same speaking points TERFs always do.

Bc TERF mentality needs you to believe that cis women are the victims of the trans movement. Otherwise it's just needlessly hateful bigotry.

The examples are also on an individual level, as opposed to the system wide threat trans peoples existence is under.

I... Seeing you write that was genuinely shocking. And disheartening. I know you said you wanted to write a calmly thought out post about this, but the end result would have been the same regardless.

I know these words of mine won't undo 3 years of this.

I'm not going to say something scathing bc we have spoken before and I believe that you do want the best for others, and that you value nuance and taking other View points into account.

But I do think that you've listened to enough TERF rhetoric claiming they're the victims that you believe that to be the case.

I know most likely you will rebut some points in this, and I'm willing to try and discuss it with you though not tonight

Scrolling past that post, I was actually floored to see you had written it. It's rocked me a bit. But that offer is open

I agree with you. Trans people are no danger to women. Normal trans people who just want to live their lives, who want to live free from discrimination and find ways to alleviate their dysphoria. I have absolutely no issue with them; I support them and their rights.

But - and yes, I am rebutting here - the TRA movement doesn't and shouldn't reflect all trans people.

Please explain to me how it can be seen as okay or justified for any of them sending rape and death threats to "TERFS". I posted the receipts of those instances, and said those were only a tiny, tiny portion of all the verbal and physical violence that has been well-documented over the past.

At some point you have to realize that these people have hijacked a movement. They are not "on the right side of history".

The bare minimum basis for any kind of meaningful discussion, imho, is to acknowledge that such activism is going more than just one step too far.

We can talk about bathrooms (which is something I have a very nuanced opinion on and have listened to both sides, understanding both). We can talk about what alternative there should be for incarcerated trans women so that they can be safe from male violence, too. We can talk about all of that.

But we cannot talk about literal threats of violence and some of the worst kind of misogyny being in any way justified.

I can return the kindness and compliment that you are a logical and compassionate person. If that is the case and my impression isn't wrong, then this is something you must condemn!

Also, as for what "rhetoric" I've listened to. It's been a very diverse selection of people and sources. Many of them leftist, many of them academics, women who have devoted their lives to truth and science such as Dr. Debra Soh, Kathleen Stock; and trans people like Debbie Hayton.

Even if I hadn't listened to anyone else but these three, my opinion on these matter would be the same.

The term "TERF" is utterly meaningless these days, because everyone who doesn't agree with the established narrative is labelled a TERF. Buck Angel, trans man, has been called a TERF ffs.

The thing is, we aren't arguing over actual talking points here. That's hardly ever the approach and conversation. It's always just about who is a TERF and which side is bad. It's never about the details. And that's not how discourse works. But we cannot have actual discourse because if always gets shut down with matras such as "oh but that's TERF rhetoric."

Okay, so maybe it is. And then I'm embracing that. Because it's utterly meaningless.

So yes, let us talk about actual points here instead of who is called what by whom.

Actual point I'm proposing to start with:

What can and should we do with people who claim to be trans women once they get arrested/sentenced, and who have committed acts of sexual or other violence against women? Is their chosen identity valid? And if so, is that validity more relevant than the safety of women in the prisons they are being sent to? In short: does a chosen (and not even psychologically backed and assessed) identity trump women's lives?

(Funnily, when I or others asked this question 3 or 2 years ago, people always refuted it by saying "oh that won't happen. That's just TERF rhetoric. That's not a thing". Well, it provenly is a thing now. Isla Bryson, Barbie Kardashian, and many many more)

The ball is in your court.

#feminism #trans rights activism #male violence

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