#i also saw two other louis jumpers!

[applejuicefruit]

I SAW THAT YOU ALREADY DID THE AFTERCARE I'M SO SORRY LMAO

so maybe a jealous neymar that ends with fluff? maybe like a party, and then when they come home they have a little argument that ends with cuddles

hiii don’t worry! thank you for requesting ❤️

i really hope you like this ✨

Love letters

It was your best friend bday party tonight and of course she invited you.

Your boyfriend Neymar was coming too of course he would never miss a party even though he wasn’t invited. Your best friend wasn’t a fan of him, she didn’t like his playboy attitude and she was aware of all the girls he “dated” before meeting you. But she also knew how much he made you happy so she let it slide.

Still he wasn’t invited but he decided to come anyway.

It was 9pm and you were both leaving your home going to the club. You were the opposite of Neymar when it came to parties. You hated loud music and people drunkly dancing around each other. Your birthdays always consisted of watching movies with friends and eating a lot of junk food. So you weren’t happy about going to a club but you did anyway because it was your best friend you were talking about.

You weren’t wearing anything “club appropriated”, in fact if it wasn’t because you were with Neymar they wouldn’t even let you in. You had a pair of black jeans and a cute white jumper because honestly, it was cold outside. Everything matched perfectly with your black and white Jimmy Choos. Your make up was simple and well made but not to much excessive. Just a red lipstick to bright up your face, with some mascara and eyeliner, and of course concealer.

You knew your best friend had expensive tastes so Neymar got her a new Louis Vuitton for her birthday. This gift to justify his presence.

You got her a cute friendship bracelet, the one from Cartier tho. Yes she made you spend a lot of money but she was your only real friend so you would do it anyway.

The party has already started when you got in. You hugged your best friend and gave her gift when Neymar went to grab a few drinks.

You needed to drink, it would have been a long night.

Only one hour into the party and you were already bored and tired of the loud music. Neymar, otherwise, was dancing with a lot of strangers in the middle of the dance floor and you couldn’t help but laugh at his half drunken state.

“Y/n?” a foreign voice called your name.

When you turn around to see who called you, you see someone who looked familiar but couldn’t connect the dots.

Then everything came back.

“Tommy?” you called.

Tommy was your middle school best friend and secret crush. He was the nerdy boy who always helped you with exams and homework and he would always spend the after school watching cartoons with you.

You haven’t seen him since you were 16.

“Heyyy it’s me” he said sitting next to me.

I couldn’t believe it was actually him!

“It’s been so long” he said “what are you up to now? I know you’re dating a certain famous football player” he said pointing at Neymar.

You laughed a bit.

“Well, ehm yes, we’ve been dating for ove two years now…things are going well. What about you?”

“I’m actually a lawyer now!” he said proudly.

I knew it he would have make it far.

We talked for what I think it were hours since everyone started leaving the party so I decided to look for Neymar and go home.

Before I went I stood up and hugged Tommy.
His hands lowering a little bit but you didn’t think about it much. Maybe he just missed you.

Before leaving he left you his number with the excuse “in case you need a lawyer”.

He was actually flirting with you but truth was that you were a very naïve person, you couldn’t make a difference from when a person was flirting with you and from when a person was just being nice. In most cases people were just trying to get into your pants but you couldn’t know if it wasn’t for Neymar scaring everyone away.

“Babe?” you called him when you found him sat on a couch “are you ready to go home?” you asked him.

He simply stood up without saying a word.

He left the club and you were following behind him.

You got into the car and asked him if he was okay but he wouldn’t answer.

When you got home you went straight into the bathroom and changed yourself into a pair of gray short pants and a long hoodie. They were both Neymar’s of course. When you got out you found him sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand.

“Babe?” you called “aren’t you coming to bed?” you asked him

“Me? Why don’t you ask your friend?”

“Ah?” you asked completely confused

“You know who I’m talking about”

“Tommy?”

“So that’s his name?”

“I don’t understand - why are you acting so strange?”

“I don’t know maybe because my girlfriend flirted the whole night with a stranger and she let him touch her ass?” he asked ironically

I was very confused.

“What you mean?”

“Oh don’t play stupid! You flirted with a man the whole night! I’ve seen him touching your ass and giving you his number!”

“That’s not how it went…” you tried to resonate

“Oh so what happened?” he asked getting mad

“He’s a friend, I know him…we were at school together and I haven’t seen him for 10 years”

“So because he’s a friend you let him touching your ass? I didn’t know you were so generous” he said back.

This hurt.

I was fully crying now but he wouldn’t let go.

“Stop playing so innocent when you’re out there acting like a whore” he said instantly regretting it. But it was too late.

He saw the expression change in your face, from hurt and mad to completely heartbroken and disappointed.

He tried to take a few steps towards you but stopped when he saw you were leaving.

“I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom” you said leaving and closing the door of your guest bedroom.

That night you both didn’t sleep.

You spent the whole night crying and you could swear he could hear you sobbing.

He spent the night awake regretting everything he said. He wish he could turn back time.

Then morning came and you didn’t dare leaving your room. When you stood up to open the window you saw a small piece of paper under the door.

You picked it up and it was a message from Neymar.

I’m sorry I messed up.

I over reacted for nothing.

I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve you.

You’re the greatest thing that came into my life and I managed to fuck everything up.

I’m sorry. I really am.

- Neymar

You were in tears after reading that letter. Yes he was an idiot but he was your idiot. So you decided to go out and you saw him standing in the corridor with his back pressed to the gym room.

“Hey…” he said softly coming towards you “I’m so stupid I fucked everything up but I got so jealous seeing him touching you and making you laugh that I thought you liked him or something…” he confessed

“You’re the only one for me Ney…”

“You’re the only one for me babe, and I’m so sorry for acting like a dick, would you please forgive me?” he said with tears in his eyes. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable it made your heart crack a little.

“Of course baby” you said hugging him and him wrapping his hands around your body.

He took your chin up and kissed you. It was a soft kiss, more like “i’m sorry kiss”. You still enjoyed it.

“Let me make it up to you” he said picking you up and bringing you into your shared bedroom.

He laid you gently on the bed and started kissing and undressing you.

If this is how he acted after a fight you should probably fight more often, you thought smiling.

#neymar smut #neymar angst #neymar fluff #neymarjr x reader #neymarjrxreader #neymar x reader #neymar junior #neymar #paris saint germain #psg #football #football imagine

[saintqueer]

.

#went to harry's merch stand today in chicago #of course did not buy anything lol because hardly anything is that cute and all so overpriced #i might have bought the bunny tote bag if the beard hadn't been JUST been papped with it gross #honestly ruined it #butttt i did wear my louis jumper and got four compliments on it 😉 #larries in the wilddddd #i also saw two other louis jumpers! #anyways just scoped it out for fun plus it was a beautiful day today

[pop-punklouis]

top five HL fanfic!!!!

biiiiitch you all know how hard it is for me to choose only 5. but sigh FINE here’s my all-time favorite list that isn’t 5 sorry i can’t choose 😔:

• Here in the Afterglow (89k)

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.” 1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

• Coax the Cold (86k)

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

• Wild and Unruly (124k)

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

• This Wicked Game (70k)

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

• Love is a Rebellious Bird (135k)

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

• Fixated On One Star (53k)

Louis is just a boy with the world on his shoulders, and Harry's just a boy from the wrong side of the galaxy. A little thing like love doesn't stand a chance against a thousand years of war, at least until the right two come along to break the mold.

Or: space Romeo and Juliet AU

• Finding Lou (60k)

Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

• California Sold

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

• Empty Skies (134k)

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

• And Then a Bit (159k)

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts. (aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

• Dream Awake (31k)

The sun leaks through the tent wall behind him the way it leaks through eyelids, bathing the boy in an ethereal half-light as he croons. The crowd is mesmerized. Louis is mesmerized. This is the most important person in the world, he thinks wildly, and then can't figure out how to take it back.

On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

• Say You’ll Remember (93.5k)

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

• Outwit, Outplay, Outlast (61k)

Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

Featuring Harry's yellow swim shorts, Louis in snapbacks, and OT5 shenanigans.

• Nothing Else But Us Right Here (35k)

Louis sighs and gives himself a mental pep talk as he smooths his jumper down over his hips. He can do this. He can resist the draw of Harry Styles, because he is a responsible, mature adult, and as much as he wants to tangle his fingers in that mess of hair and map those ridiculous tattoos with his tongue, he does not want to get his daughter’s favorite teacher fired.

• Wings to Break Your Fall (103k)

strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.

• Leave it to the Breeze (81k)

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

• You Come Beating Like Moth’s Wings (81k)

Harry smiles. He's only known Louis for about two hours, knows nothing about him past his first name, but he's nice and sarcastic and helpful and so, so pretty. And Harry's still got a few days left in Barcelona, and he thinks he wouldn't mind spending them with Louis.

Also known as, Harry takes the summer before uni to travel Europe and meets Louis in Barcelona, and they end up traveling together.

• Hold Me Closer (36.5k)

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

• In Vogue (121k)

Fashion AU. Louis is the editor in chief of Vogue magazine, and Harry's running British GQ. Featuring Zayn as the crazy creative director and Louis' confidant, Liam as the sports writer that gets to sit front row at fashion week and DJ Neil as the only sane person in the whole story. (There are no skinny jeans in this fic)

• These Things Will Never Change for Us at All (1.5k)

The room falls silent as they stay wrapped up in each other. Harry can feel Louis’ soft breaths on his neck, and he almost thinks Louis’ fallen asleep until he says softly, “How did you know you were in love with me?”

Or, Harry and Louis look back on five years.

• A Runaway American Dream (15k)

AU. they take route 66 with only each other and their secrets.

• Things Have Gotten Closer to the Sun (49k)

it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

• Here (in your arms) (60k)

the one where Louis is a successful real estate agent and Harry works at a retirement home. They’ve never had a real home. Up until now.

(Starring Liam Payne as a fitness trainer, Zayn as an artist, and Niall, who busks.)

• These Inconvenient Fireworks (190k)

Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

• In Dreams (23k)

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

• My Heart is Breathing for this Moment in Time (160k)

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old. Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

• Paint the Sky with Stars (63k)

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom. Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform. By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help. Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

• Through Eerie Chaos (102k)

For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead.

The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process.

#whew! #favorite fics #grey

[sweetsubharry]

Do you have any fic recs with like CEO/Businessman Louis?

Yes I do!! ^-^

touch me (you're my fantasy) by stylescantstop

Louis goes off on business again and Harry hates being without him.

or the one where Harry misses Louis a lot & sends him racy pictures, which prompts Louis to call him and it leads to hot phone sex. Exactly what Harry wanted.

it's like i breathe you by orphan_account

Louis shrugs, grabbing the smoothie and taking a sip of it. He’s not really bragging. But. “I’ve kind of always had everything I wanted.

”“Everything?” Harry asks, genuinely interested, his green eyes wide.

Louis looks at Harry, smiling at him across the table and twirling a curl around his finger. Not everything.

or the one where louis volunteers to teach high school students about the ropes of business and running a company of your own, but he certainly does not plan on running into harry styles.

cause nobody saves me baby the way you do by Wankerville

“Please, Harry. Please accept it. You need it and I- I have plenty of money to spare. I- I’m just one person to take care of, so its okay. I-”

“You called me as a prostitute though. I didn’t- I never got you off. I can’t just accept money like this, its-”

“Harry,” Louis sighs, “this was better than a fuck, okay? I liked this. Now please, just... take the money.”

or, an au inspired by 1D's new song 'fireproof.' where harry's a prostitute and louis is v lonely. that is until harry becomes his babydoll, and louis his daddy.

Cold Without You Here by trulymadlylarry

“Keep warm, Lou. There’s supposed to be a snow storm soon,” Harry tells him, remembering what he saw on the news earlier.

“I will. I’ll see you soon, okay? I’ll be home before you know it.”

Harry nervously fiddles with the engagement ring on his finger. “You’ll be back Friday the 13th, right?”

“Yup,” Louis says without hesitation. “Just in time for Valentine’s day.”

Or, the one where Louis is Harry's sugar daddy and goes on a business trip.

Sweet on You by dontlietomehoney

Harry is a student going to Uni for a degree in business and one day Louis Tomlinson, a multibillionaire and owner of his own record company, comes to guest lecture. Once Harry sees how gorgeous the man is, he can't help but ask him out for coffee. And things go from there.

Or, the one where Louis becomes Harry's sugar daddy.

No Love Like Your Love by Rearviewdreamer

When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.

slow and steady by cabinbythesea

Breathing next to him was slow and steady, an all encompassing feeling. Much like when you're swimming in very deep water, he thinks. Your head becomes heavy with all the dense pressure caging you under, yet your heart and limbs feel light.

Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by angelichl

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

London Calls Me a Stranger by Thatscoolbutwhataboutlarry

"Hello, my beautiful, conceited coquette."

"Hi, daddy."

Or the one where Harry is a tease, and Louis is his new neighbour.

If Only In My Dreams by iwillpaintasongforlou

Louis calls and says he doesn't think he'll be home for Christmas, which is disappointing since Harry's wrapped himself up in a red silk bow for Louis to come home to. Luckily the world according to Louis orbits around his beautiful boy and he's making it home one way or another.

I'm Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by Phillipa19

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry's sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

Got A Lot You Wanna Show Off Baby by Phillipa19

Louis had been in meetings all day, he should have known that Harry wouldn't be ignored for much longer.

-OR-

Louis is Harry's sugardaddy and his younger boyfriend is definitely not happy being ignored whilst Louis holds meetings in his home office. There may also be Harry in lacy knickers involved

you can take it off by blankiehxrry

Now, Harry walks back over to Louis and helps him up, planting a pink stained kiss to his left cheek. “You’d find me incredibly boring outside of this place,” he says dryly.

“I find that hard to believe,” Louis scoffs. Since the first day he met him, Louis has always been enthralled with Harry, both for his looks and personality. “You’re the most fascinating creature I’ve ever met within miles.”

Harry smiles bashfully and leads Louis back out towards the front doors with a hand placed lightly on his lower back. His emerald nails scratch comfortingly at his jumper as they walk. “I’m not nearly as glamorous without all the glitter and mood lighting. Life at home is a lot less skirts and gloss and a lot more trackies and takeout.”

“I could give you more than that. Just let me. Give me a chance, baby.”

Lunch Break by purpleeyestelllies

Harry decides to bring his alpha lunch at work and surprise him with a visit from him and their baby daughter. Louis gets more than one surprise.

drain the whole sea by brainwaves

For a great chunk of his life, Harry has had a passion for writing, a passion that turned into an aspiration, which turned into a dream he’s been chasing for the past few years, first in the States and now in a shitty flat in London. None of his attempts to get anywhere have succeeded, leaving him with weary bones and two dead-end jobs that he doesn’t enjoy in the slightest.

When he finds an unusual yet promising opportunity that could possibly get him somewhere and help him further his current failure of a writing career, he doesn’t hesitate to take it. Despite his boyfriend Sam’s pleading, he lets this dream bring him to the luxurious yet quaint home of world-renowned, best-selling author Louis Tomlinson.

Let's Embrace The Point Of No Return by  sweaterpawstyles

Louis was a whole new scale of beautiful, he was richer than Harry could've ever imagined, and he was the most powerful, dominant alpha that Harry had ever come in contact with. The only problem now is that Louis is also Harry's boss.

Louis believed Harry was an alpha, and had no idea about how he had lied about his status just to get an interview with Louis. He was in too deep now and he couldn't look back.

Or

Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.

A Distant Hazy Light by green_feelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

I hope I answered this well! it was quite a broad prompt so as you can see this includes daddy kinks, a/b/o and other types of thing! If you have a problem with any of those send me another anon or a message and I can do one minus a specific tag :) make sure to read the tags carefully everyone :) stay safe <3 

#there's about 17 here #so I hope that's enough! #sub harry #bottom harry #top louis #dom louis #larry stylinson #fic rec #mine #this is my first rec ever so I hope I did it okay! #larry #larry fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #larry stylinson fanfiction #daddy louis #ceo louis #business man louis #Lottie fic rec #ask lots

[new-sandrafilter]

Timothée Chalamet and Eileen Atkins Interview - British Vogue May 2020

“Maybe your knuckles weren’t bleeding, but there was ice,” Timothée Chalamet tells Dame Eileen Atkins. He is recounting, with no small amount of awe, how he first came to hear of the legendary 85-year-old actor with whom he is about to appear at The Old Vic. It transpires that Oscar Isaac, Chalamet’s co-star in the upcoming blockbuster Dune, was at the receiving end of Atkins’ fist in Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood (all in the name of acting, of course). Chalamet was duly impressed.

“I gave him the worst time of his life,” says Atkins, bristling at the memory, before merrily launching into several candid, very dame-like stories from her time on set – “That was a nightmare movie. A nightmare.”

It is a Saturday afternoon in late February, and the two actors – one a titan of British theatre with an eight-decade career; the other, Hollywood’s most in-demand young leading man, with an insatiable Instagram following – have just finished being photographed together for Vogue. Chalamet, 24, in louche, low-slung denim and a white T-shirt, has folded his Bambi limbs into a chair next to Atkins, whose hawkish frame, in a navy jumper and jeans, belies her 85 years.

“Do you like being called Tim or Timothée or what?” Atkins asks in her warm but brisk RP, all trace of her Tottenham upbringing erased.

“Whatever works,” he replies in a bright American accent, that shock of chestnut hair falling into his eyes. “Anything.”

“So you won’t object to ‘darling’? I call everyone darling. I’m told I mustn’t say it these days.” He assures her he is fine with it: “It’s a rite of passage, being called darling by Dame Eileen Atkins.”

“You always, always, have to put the dame in, otherwise you can’t address me,” she jokes.

It’s good the two are getting all this sorted now. A couple of days after our interview they will begin rehearsals for a seven-week run of Amy Herzog’s play 4000 Miles, in which they star as a grandmother and grandson, each quietly dealing with their own grief. Chalamet takes on the role of Leo Joseph-Connell, a somewhat lost 21-year-old who experiences a tragedy while on a 4,000-mile-long cycle ride with his best friend. Atkins plays Vera Joseph, his widowed 91-year-old grandmother, upon whose Manhattan doorstep Leo unexpectedly arrives in the middle of the night, unsure of where else to go. What follows is a wonderful, and wonderfully witty, study in human relationships, a portrait of two generations with decades between them trying to make sense of the world.

Its stars, who’ve met twice previously, in New York last year, are still very much getting to know each other – and are confident in the appeal. “There are things like this play – hoping I don’t butcher it – where you can just sit back and go, ‘Oh, this is a delicious meal,’” says Chalamet. Atkins agrees. “I have a phrase in mind that I shouldn’t really say because it’s going to sound terrible in print.” Which is? “I find it a dear little play, a really dear little play. I think it should be very moving. But who knows? We might f**k it up.”

It’s unlikely. Atkins has been a regular on The Old Vic’s stage since the 1960s, going toe-to-toe with greats from Laurence Olivier to Alec Guinness, and fellow dames (and close friends) Maggie Smith and Judi Dench. Chalamet, meanwhile, is a relative novice, with only two professional plays under his belt. But since his turn as Elio in 2017’s Call Me by Your Name (for which he was Oscar-nominated), his celluloid rise has been meteoric. Roles in Lady Bird, Little Women, The King and Wes Anderson’s upcoming The French Dispatch have not only earned him the slightly fraught badge of “heart-throb”, but proved him to be among the most captivating actors of his generation.

He says he couldn’t resist the opportunity to come to the capital. “There was something exciting about doing a play that feels very New York in London,” Chalamet explains of taking on the part. He’s a diehard theatre fan, too, revealing he saw the six-and-a-half-hour epic The Inheritance – twice. “There are films like The Dark Knight or Punch-Drunk Love or Parasite that can give you a special feeling. But nothing will be like seeing Death of a Salesman on Broadway with Philip Seymour Hoffman or A Raisin in the Sun with Denzel Washington.”

Herzog’s writing particularly spoke to him. “Leo’s in a stasis that was very appealing to me,” he continues. “We find our crisis in moments of stasis, but there’s an irony to it when you’re young, because the law of the land would have you think that to be young is to be having fun, to be coming into your own. But as everyone at this age who’s going through it knows, it’s often a shitshow.”

It’s safe to say that, in casting terms, director Matthew Warchus, also artistic director of The Old Vic, has hit the jackpot. He first took the play to Atkins three years ago, but it was only towards the end of 2019 that Chalamet came on board. When it was announced, in December, that Hollywood’s heir apparent to Leonardo DiCaprio would be making his London stage debut, the news was met with a level of hysteria not usually associated with the 202-year-old theatre’s crowd.

“Oh, my friends have told me who the audience is,” Atkins chimes in when I ask who they think will be coming to see the show. “It’s 40 per cent girls who want to go to bed with Timothée, it’s 40 per cent men who want to go to bed with Timothée, and it’s 20 per cent my old faithfuls.” Is Chalamet prepared for the onslaught? “I think it will be 100 per cent Eileen’s faithfuls,” he demurs.

On the surface, they can seem quite the odd couple. Chalamet, raised in Manhattan by an American dancer-turned-realtor mother and French father, an in-house editor at the United Nations, may be living a breathless, nomadic movie-star life but there’s an iron core of Gen Z earnestness there. He arrives on set with minimal fuss, even deciding to wear the clothes he came in for one shot, before knocking out some push-ups, politely ordering an omelette and generally being divinely well-mannered.

He turns on the star power for the camera, though, and I can confirm it’s as dazzling up close as it is on the red carpet, where he has, famously, casually redrawn the rules for male dressing. From that Louis Vuitton sparkly bib at the 2018 Golden Globes, to a dove-grey satin Haider Ackermann tux at Venice last year, he’s a true fashion darling. Then, of course, there’s his dating life – from Lourdes Ciccone Leon to Lily-Rose Depp – that remains an endless source of fascination to millions worldwide. (All this, it must be said, is of significantly less interest to Dame Eileen.)

Atkins started dance lessons aged three, shortly before the start of the Second World War. By 12, she was performing professionally in pantomime, not far from where she grew up in north London, the youngest daughter in a working-class family. A fast-established theatre star, wider fame didn’t find her until late in life. Despite memorable turns in Upstairs, Downstairs and Gosford Park, it was the 2000 television hits Cranford and Doc Martin, when she was in her early seventies, that finally made her a household name. Today, she lives alone in west London, since her second husband, the TV and film producer Bill Shepherd, died in 2016. She has often spoken of being happily childless, and has zero time for razzmatazz.

And yet, despite their differences, the pair appear perfectly matched. They already have their grandmother-grandson dynamic down pat. Atkins does a fine line in mischievous eyebrow-raising, and at one point recites a limerick that is, honestly, so rude it almost makes her co-star blush. Chalamet, meanwhile, is politeness personified, still trying to work out his thoughts on various subjects, less inclined to give so much of himself away. There is a physical likeness, too, in their delicate features and fine bone structure. They share a naturally melancholic look, one that melts away when they laugh.

Their upcoming play, which premiered to rapturous reviews Off-Broadway in 2011, “about a block” from Chalamet’s high school, LaGuardia, could have been written for them. “Other than not being American, I’m very like the old woman,” says Atkins of the Pulitzer-shortlisted play. “I can’t be bothered to learn the internet.” If there’s one thing she won’t tolerate in rehearsals, it’s people on their phones. That’s the only thing that will “piss me off ”, she says, brusquely.

Ah, phones. Are they really the symbol of generational disconnect? “It’s easy to point to these things,” Chalamet says, tapping his phone on the table, “as the cause or the symptom, but I think my generation is a guinea pig generation of sorts. We’re figuring out the pros and cons and limits of technology.”

Equally, Atkins is keen to distance herself from some of the criticism levelled at her age group. “There’s a saying isn’t there: if you’re not very left wing when you’re young, you’re heartless. And if you’re not very right wing when you’re old, you’re foolish. I’m not political, but I’m not with this government I can assure you – and I’m not with Brexit. I wanted to wear a sweater saying ‘I did not vote Brexit’, because it was all old people who did. Not me, not me,” she snaps. “I went on the march.”

Both are in agreement that intergenerational friendships are too rare these days. “So. Important,” Chalamet says, hitting the table between each word. “There is so much to learn from people who have walked the path of life. That’s why I’m so looking forward to these next couple of months.”

Atkins is thoughtful on the matter. “I don’t miss the fact I don’t have children, but I do envy my friends who have grandchildren,” she says. “About five or six years ago I met a couple of young people – they are just about 30 this year – and, do you know, we go out together. And people immediately say to me, ‘Are these your grandchildren?’ And I say, ‘No.’ And they say, ‘Your godchildren?’ And I say, ‘No, they’re just friends.’ Everybody thinks there is something weird about all three of us. They just don’t get it. But the boy makes me laugh more than anybody and the girl is enchanting. I have more fun with them than I do with almost anybody else.”

I remind Atkins about her description of today’s youth as being overly serious. “I do call them the New Puritans, yes,” she says, before motioning to her young co-star. “He probably drinks like a fish.”

Chalamet, currently single, is remaining tight-lipped about plans for his new London life, and how many late-night manoeuvres in Soho or Peckham it may involve. “I’ve got friends here, which is nice. But I’m here for this – to be terrified at The Old Vic.”

Before we leave, there is a final thing to clear up – Atkins’ aforementioned limerick. “Do you know about the Colin Farrell situation?” Eileen asks Timothée. No, comes his reply. “Better get it over with now because someone will tell you,” she says, proceeding to explain how, when she was “69, about to be 70” and filming Ask the Dust with a 27-year-old Farrell, “he made a pass at me. He came to my hotel room. He was enchanting. I let him chat for two hours, thoroughly enjoying it, but no not that. He was very cross I didn’t.”

But then, she explains guiltily, she later told the story during “some stupid TV show” (Loose Women), where despite her best efforts at keeping Farrell’s identity secret, the internet did its thing and news got out. An apology to Farrell was required. “So I left a limerick on Colin’s phone…” she says. She clears her throat: “There once was a **** of a dame…” she begins, in her imitable theatrical timbre, before reeling off one of the filthiest rhymes I’ve ever heard.

There is a moment of stunned laughter. “Wow, that’s sincerely amazing,” comes Chalamet’s response, as Atkins finishes the verse. He gives her a solemn oath: “I promise I won’t hit on you.”

4000 Miles is at The Old Vic, SE1, from 6 April

#timmy #timothee chalamet #4000 miles #british vogue app #Eileen Atkins #my edit

[alit0my]

if you're still taking prompts: while in exile Booker dies some death that fucks his brain a bit and makes him lose his memories in a weird way. The team steps in to take care of him in order to prevent the secret from coming out and just care for him bc they still love him. And Booker doesn't remember them but still has FEELINGS from before. And one day he tells them all "I don't remember who any of you are, but I do know that I love you all SO MUCH" and the team is stunned and like "OH GOD"

im always taking prompts anon ;-) i hope you like this!

~

Andy’s cell phone rang in the middle of the night, waking the others as the ringtone blared through the small sleeping quarters. Quickly, she picked up the phone and murmured her apology to the team. 

“Copley? It’s four am, what’s going on?” Andy spoke, knowing the man was on the other end. He was the only person who had the number after all.

“Andy. I’m sorry, but this couldn’t wait until morning. It’s Booker,” Copley said with an urgent tone. “He’s been injured.” 

Andy sat up a bit straighter in her bed, resting against the headboard. “He’s not healing?” 

The others became more awake at her words, glancing at each other in alarm. Booker was still young, there was no way he wasn’t healing.

“Somewhat. I sent him on a simple job to get intel and it went to shit,” Copley sighed. “It’s his memories, they seem to not have returned to him when he woke, and I’m worried that will cause unwanted trouble.” 

Andy’s breath hitched in her throat, her grip on the burner phone tightening. “How far back does he recall?” 

“He thinks he’s back in Marseille, 1800’s. Unsure of the exact year I’m afraid” 

“He’s looking for his family,” Andy cursed quietly, nodding at the others to get ready to leave. “Where is he now? Do you have an address?” 

“I’ll send it through. I’m also not sure if he remembers you, so I’d be weary about busting the door down and putting him on the defensive foot straight away.” 

Andy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright, thanks Copley.” 

“What’s happened?” Nicky asked, zipping up his duffel bag. Andy stood and swung her own duffel bag over her shoulder, grabbing the car keys off the bedside table. 

“I’ll explain on the way.”

~

Sebastien stood in front of the land that once held his family home. Finding it an empty field of tall grass made him furrow his brows in confusion. Where was Claire? Louis? Michel? Jean-Pierre? Had they moved and not told him? Surely he hadn’t been away for too long to have the house pulled down and grass to grow. 

He watched as groups of people walked past him, not paying him any mind. Frowning, he tried to find something he could identify in his surroundings, but came up short. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me what happened to my home?” He asked a group that walked by, earning him strange looks. 

“Sir, that has been a vacant block for as long as I can remember. There hasn’t been a property there for years,” One of them replied, smiling even though they were confused. Their answer only made Sebastien just as bewildered. 

“What do you mean? What is the date today?” 

“Um,” the stranger pulled a flat object out of their pocket and then put it back just as quickly. “27th of October, 2036.” 

“20- No, that’s not-” 

Something buzzed in his pocket which cut him off. He reached in, pulling out a contraption that looked familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was called. He gave the stranger his thanks as they walked off, and the thing still buzzed in his hand, so he flipped it open and brought it to his ear. It seemed like the right thing to do with the object. 

“Booker?” A man’s voice came through, shocking Sebastien. How was this possible? 

“Who are you? Who is Booker?” He spoke in French. “Where is my family?” 

He waited impatiently before the other man replied in shaky but understandable French. “Sebastien, my apologies. I understand you might be feeling lost, but I have people on the way to help you.” 

“Who? I don’t want help! I want my wife and children!” He shouted, throwing his hands in the air. 

“I understand, but right now you need to get to the address I’m going to send you. Can you manage that?” 

Sebastien pulled the phone away from his ear as the object buzzed once more. The address that appeared on the screen wasn’t too far from where he was. 

“Sebastien?” 

Bringing the phone to his ear once more, he nodded. “I-I will be there.” 

~

Sebastien walked up to the door of the address the man had sent him, finding the key under the course mat outside. Walking into the house, he was greeted with four strangers. Halting at the entrance, fingers still gripping the doorknob tightly, he chuckled awkwardly. 

“I think- I might be in the wrong place,” he stammered, the French slurring together as he rushed the words. “So sorry.” 

“Nonsense,” the older woman spoke in perfect French. “Come in. We are here to help you.” 

Sebastien hesitantly closed the door behind him as he stared at the group. The two men sat together on the couch, a little too close for what was normal with their knees touching. The younger woman had dark skin and tight braids falling over her shoulders, and the other woman had short hair, like his own. Sebastien blinked and shoved his shaky hands into his pockets. These people seemed familiar to him, but he didn’t know how. 

“You can’t help me unless you know what happened to my family,” he whispered and cast his eyes to the floor, missing the knowing looks shared between the strangers. 

“Book- Sebastien, your family is standing right in front of you.”

He looked up and scoffed. “Non, unless I gained two daughters and my wife cheated on me with darker men, you are not my family.” 

He saw the man with curly hair clench his fists and the young woman clench her jaw. He had hit a nerve, but he was unaware of why. 

“Okay, let’s start with our names, no? I’m Andromache,” the fair woman spoke again, gaining his attention once more. “Everyone calls me Andy.” 

“Nile,” the dark woman said.

“Nicolo,” he said with a strong Italian accent.

“Yusuf,” was said with a curt nod. 

None of the names brought Sebastien any closer to figuring out what the hell was happening. At his blank face, Andromache spoke once more. 

“Can I ask what year you think it is?” 

“1807,” he replied, and he gauged their reactions. 

“Alright,” Andromache nodded, chewing at her bottom lip. “Well, we’re here to help you remember. But I think we should start with dinner?” 

’Remember what?’ Sebastien thought, but nodded, which set everything into motion. 

~

He had learned that they called him Booker. He was unsure as to why, and they refused to tell him, so he paid it no mind. They shared stories of their time together, leaving out his betrayal all those years ago, but Sebastien couldn’t remember any of it, and nothing was flashing in his mind as a reminder. 

Months passed and Winter settled over France, sending chills through Sebastien’s bones even when he was seated in front of the woodfire with a woolen jumper wrapped around him. His fingers shook as he flipped the pages of the novel he was reading and he grunted in frustration, placing the book down by his side and sticking his hands out in front of him, closer to the fire to warm them. 

Sebastien frowned as he absently stared at his hands in front of the flames. He remembered that he loved the cold, playing in the snow and building snowmen with his siblings, all of them returning home with noses and ears flushed red, so he couldn’t understand why he felt so cold now. 

Yusuf -Joe- sat down next to him and silently offered to share the blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders. Only hesitating for a moment, Sebastien scooted closer to Joe and leant into the warmth that radiated off him, feeling the blanket wrap around his shoulders and Joe’s hand squeeze his arm. 

It felt familiar, friendly, loving. 

“Did we ever tell you about Russia?” Joe asked quietly, keeping his eyes on the flames. At the shake of Booker’s head, he continued. “It’s where you first died in 1812, fighting for Napoleon.” 

Booker closed his eyes and tried to remember, but nothing came to mind. He felt frustrated, surely memories would have started to seep through back into his mind, but nothing ever did. Instead, he rested his head on Joe’s shoulder and snuggled closer to him. 

“You.. You were hung for desertion, and you hung for three days before the Grande Armee left camp. We didn’t find you until you were nearly back to France,” Joe spoke softly, and Sebastien could listen to his voice forever. “A Russian winter can be so utterly cruel, and your immortality made you suffer over and over while your comrades succumbed to death. It is why you feel the phantom cold as you are, and a few years ago we discovered that they stop when you are cuddling with one of us as we are now.” 

Sebastien thought over the new information. Fighting for Napoleon in Russia? Surely not.

He didn’t mind the cuddles though. 

“I’m sorry I don’t remember any of you,” Sebastien spoke, voice breaking through it’s lack of use. He found himself not speaking much, preferring to listen to the stories his friends told him and asking questions when he got lost. 

“Nonsense, Bastien.” Joe ran his hand through Sebastien’s hair softly. “We’re here to help you remember, no matter how long it takes.” 

~

The pair had moved to the couch by the time the others had returned home from their shopping, Nile being adamant about having a big dinner for Christmas in a few days. Sebastien was curled into Joe’s side with the blanket still wrapped around them both, and he felt himself flush at the looks they got from the others. 

Nicolo -Nicky, now, remember?- smiled and walked over, kissing both Joe and Sebastien on the cheek in greeting, before crouching down in front of them. “How are you doing, Bas?” 

“Better. Joe is rather warm,” Sebastien replied, curling further into said man’s warmth. 

“He is, isn’t he,” Nicky chuckled softly, grabbing Sebastien’s hands and rubbing his thumbs over the cool palms. “Nile is cooking dinner tonight. Don’t tell her, but I don’t have much faith in her.” 

Sebastien laughed loudly before burying his face in Joe’s neck as Nile rounded the corner with a faux annoyed look on her face. “Hey! I’m a good cook!” 

Nicky moved to sit on Sebastien’s other side, and rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m sure you are, Nile. That soup you made a few weeks ago was seriously under seasoned.” 

“How dare you! Never in my life would I have imagined a white man telling me I’ve under seasoned my food!” Nile scoffed, but it had become their thing to tease the other about their dinners, so Sebastien didn’t intervene. He had each and every dynamic sorted out by now, and he knew this was playful. 

He felt warmth blossom from his chest as he watched them interact, playfully jabbing at the use of spices and ingredients in Nile’s failed soup attempt, and a grin spread across his lips. Sebastien truly felt at home with these people, they made him feel safe and happy and were always there for him.

He didn’t let himself think that maybe it was because of his memories no longer being with him. He didn’t want to tarnish the few months they’ve had together by believing they didn’t want to be around him. 

He was brought out of his thoughts by a dishtowel hitting him flush in the face. “Hey!” 

“Sorry Book! I was aiming for Nicky!” Nile laughed as the towel fell short when he threw it back to her. Andy had joined them in the room, opting to sit on the armrest of the single recliner with a glass of water in her hands. Sebastien didn’t know what it was about the woman that drew these deep feelings out of him, but he didn’t shy away from them. He didn’t shy away from anything he was feeling towards this little group he found himself in. 

“You good?” Andy asked across the room, making eye contact with the Frenchman. Sebastien thought for a moment, going back to how he fit into this little family, and he nodded, smiling as Nile entered the room with a tray of biscuits. 

“I may not remember who any of you are, but I do know that I love you all, so very much.” 

~ 

Weeks passed and Sebastien -non, Booker- still remembered the looks on his family’s faces as he told them he loves them. The amount of tears spilled that night would have filled the Seine, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. They had ended up in a dogpile on the couch, holding each other close and whispering words of affirmation to each other, promises were made and love was shared. 

Waking up the next morning with a stiff neck but surrounded by the four most important people in his life was worth it. 

Booker woke with a jolt, breathing heavy as he orientated himself. Still surrounded by four bodies, all still and silent, he closed his eyes again and took a few deep breaths. His dream was strange to say the least, with all five of them shooting their way out of an extremely white building, with flashes of being strapped to a plinth in a lab fighting to stay in Booker’s recollection. What on earth had happened?

“Book? Are you okay?” Nicky whispered as he shifted by his side. “Hey, you’re safe.” 

“I know, I know, I just.. I had a weird dream,” Booker whispered back, shimmying a hand out from the blanket that was still wrapped around himself and Joe, to rub at his face. 

“Tell me?” 

Booker paused. “We were fighting in a building. It was really white and there were a lot of corridors, and so many bodies. I’m getting flashes of us strapped down to tables also,” he stopped as he gauged Nicky’s face, which had turned sour. “W-What did I do?” 

He heard a soft curse from his other side which drew his attention to Andy. “Of course the one thing you remember is the worst possible,” she mumbled and sat up. 

“What did I do?” Booker repeated. If he had caused them pain, then that changed everything. 

“Something that you have already paid for,” Nicky grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “It was a painful yet brief moment in our lives, but you need not worry about it anymore.” 

Booker frowned but nodded. He didn’t want to argue so he kept his mouth shut, but that didn’t stop him from searching his brain for answers. 

~

The team had taken up a job from Copley, who Booker discovered was the man who had called him that day in Marseille, and were infiltrating a small terrorist hideout. It was meant to be easy; a stakeout had meant that no resistance should have been present when they attacked, but alas, nothing is ever that easy.

Upon extraction, they had been ambushed by a few terrorists who had returned, and all hell broke loose. Bullets flew through the air and swords hacked away at bodies, and they almost made it out without a casualty. 

Almost.

Booker was shot in the chest and went down. He felt the warmth spread under his clothes and he dropped to his knees, feeling dizzy and the world went black. 

Joe cursed and pulled Booker’s body into an alcove, hiding them from the gunfire. Joe had his gun in his hands, half watching Booker and half looking for any threats coming their way. Andy had reached their location and stood guard as Nile and Nicky joined them, guns still raised in case they had to use them. 

Joe grabbed Booker’s hand and squeezed it, praying silently for his friend’s return to life. He waited anxiously and glanced at Nicky, who had the same look of despair on his face. Joe counted the minutes, praying harder as it went over five. 

“C’mon, Booker,” Andy whispered, nudging the man’s arm with her boot gently. “You’re still in this game with me, remember?” 

A moment passes, and with a gasp the Frenchman sucked in a breath and opened his eyes, frantically searching for his family. Not needing to look far, he immediately calmed at the sight of them altogether. 

“Hey,” he grinned, looking at them all. “Hey Boss.” 

Andy let out a strangled sound and knelt down beside him, encasing him in the tightest hug he thinks he’s ever received from her. 

“You asshole. It’s not your fault but you’re an asshole,” she mumbled as they pulled away. “Is everything back? Do you remember everything?” 

Booker nodded as he quickly ran through his brain, picking out key moments in his life that shaped him for the better and for the worse. “I’m all here, Boss.” 

Booker had the breath knocked out of him as Joe hugged him tight, and he laughed softly, returning it in earnest. 

“If all you had to do was die to get your memories back I would have shot you myself!” Joe huffed as he pulled away, smiling as he picked up his gun that was dropped by his feet. 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Nile interrupted. “But we’re in the middle of a terrorist camp. Can we have a happy reunion when we are, I don’t know, safe?”

Booker laughed and stood with the help of Joe and Nicky and he raised his rifle, fighting with the team seamlessly as they escaped the compound. 

Back at the safehouse, they showered each other in tight hugs and shared memories and alcohol, toasting to their love for one another as they drank the night away.

~

Available on AO3 also: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26527225 

#booker #sebastien le livre #andy #joe #nicky #nile freeman #the old guard #booker loses his memory #ot5 #joe + booker = bffs

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 7 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Warnings: Cheating

Word Count: 11.4k

A/N: I am so sorry. Please don’t hate me.

Thanks for reading and love you all! Let me know if you want to be tagged x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| MASTERLIST IN BIO | 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

New Year’s Eve 2011 was one of the happiest days of yours and Matty’s relationship so far. You’d been going out with him now officially for 3 and a half months and you’d honestly had the happiest few months of your life.

New Year’s had to be the weirdest one you’d ever experienced. You were both on your way back from the mini Christmas break that Matty (and Denise) had gotten you for Christmas driving back up from Heathrow Airport.

You don’t know what you did to deserve it, but he’d booked the both of you a couple’s holiday to Paris. And when he told you on Christmas Day, you couldn’t contain your excitement.

You couldn’t stop jumping around your room as he sat on your bed and told you all the details.

“We’re going on the 27th and we come back on the 31st. So, we can still get back for George’s party” Matty told you with a massive grin.

“And we’re doing everything and anything you want” Matty said watching your eyes get wider.

You stopped in front of him and shook your head, not believing him fully. 

“Are you joking right now?” You asked the messy haired brunette.

He shook his head at you and chuckled, “I’ve even booked us in for a couples spa thing at the hotel”

You giggled at that and bit your lip looking at the adorable cross-legged guy sat on your bed. God, he spoiled you rotten, you don’t know what you’ve done to deserve him.

“I can’t believe you” You grin getting up onto your bed to join him.

You manoeuvred yourself onto the bed, so you were straddling him and Matty’s arms went around your waist and he held lower back. Your hands clasped around the back of your neck and smiled at him.

“Why can’t you believe me?” Matty smiled at you, thinking to himself how beautiful he was today.

He hadn’t been this happy on Christmas Day since he was a kid. Growing up was shit but you’d somehow brought a bit of light back to a holiday that previously Matty didn’t like that much anymore.

The only thing Matty still enjoyed about the holiday was Louis’ reaction to everything. He thought that without Louis, he would have stopped celebrating it a long time ago.

But because of you, Matty was having one of the best Christmas’ of his life. You’d both spent the mornings with your own families and Matty had seen his Dad again. And you’d finally got the chance to meet him later on in the afternoon along with a few other people in Matty’s family.

They were lovely people and you enjoyed the time that you got to spend with them. But the real highlight of your day was when you got to give Louis his present.

You’d heard him talking about a new game recently that was for one of his consoles that you had no idea how to work. You found it for him and got it him as a surprise. Along with a load of different chocolate and sweets that you made him promise he would only share it with you.

Louis had given you the biggest hug and made everyone who watched the interaction coo over the two of you. You honestly loved him like a little brother. That’d be why you’d always treat him as one. 

After that though, Matty managed to escape his family and have you all to himself to exchange gifts with you at your house. And he was loving your reaction so far.

“I don’t know, I just don’t believe that you booked the spa for us... I think you fancied getting pampered like the woman you are and are using it as an excuse” You grinned at him.

Matty laughed looked at you with so much admiration and he loved how happy you’d been all day. Not even just in this moment. You were lightning up the whole day for him with your bright smile.

Matty’s arms tightened around you as he said, “You actually do know me too well. I hate it”

At that you giggled before leaning in and pecking his lips thanking him for his joint present with his family. You were completely outdone this Christmas and you felt quite bad when you thought about his presents but there was no turning back now, he was asking for them.

“So, come on then. Ignore my shit present. What did you get me?” Matty asked you cheekily.

You shook your head at his bluntness and started, “I got you a few things actually, but they aren’t as good as Paris”

Matty gave you a look that said, ’Shut the fuck up’ and you tried and failed not to giggle. He looked so cute sat there in the Christmas jumper his Mum forced upon him.

“Okay so you have three different things, but you have to pick what order you want them in” You explained with your own cheeky smile.

Matty frowned a little then, sending you a curious look when you said that. You’d obviously put a lot of thought into this and he was very much looking forward to it.

You continued on to explain, “You have one that’s to do with the band, one to do with me, and one for you but I wanna join in when you got around to it”

Matty sent you a suggestive look when you said the last one and you couldn’t help the giggle that left your lips. You shook your head signifying that the last definitely wasn’t what he thought it was.

Matty took a second, then started of by asking a question.

“Okay, is the one to do with you what I think it is?” Matty asked you with a flirty knowing look.

It couldn’t not be something presumptuous knowing you.

You grinned and giggled, “Maybe”

At that Matty got a bit excited and his grip on you tightened which caused your giggle to continue as he muttered under his breath, “I fucking knew it”

When he started concentrating again, Matty continued, “Right, well that’s gotta be last then because we won’t get around to anything else if we start with that”

You giggled again and nodded. He was definitely right, so you asked him what he wanted first.

“Let’s go with the band thing first. Then it can be just about us afterwards” Matty smiled sweetly but his grip on your hips tightened.

“Don’t get me too excited just yet, like you said babe… You want your other presents first” You grin before kissing Matty’s lips for a good few seconds. 

Matty of course tries to carry the gesture onto something further but you don’t let him have his way this time. You pull away and then stood back up to get his presents from their hiding spot.

Matty couldn’t help but watch as you did so. You looked so adorable and pretty today. 

You were wearing a lovely red long-sleeved dress that flowed down to your mid-thigh with black tights on underneath. Matty thought you looked so Christmassy and so beautiful at the same time. 

You wore your Y/H/C hair down and Matty just wanted to cuddle you for the whole night. Ever since he saw how happy you were when you came around to his house earlier in the day, that was all he’d wanted to do.

He hugged you tightly throughout the day because he just couldn’t stop himself. All he wanted to do the whole day was keep you close. You just looked so innocent and precious and Matty just wanted you all to himself.

You came back over and sat on the side of your bed and offered him the first gift. The first was in a gift bag because it was cute and small. 

You’d gotten him an engraved glass plaque of the bands logo. It was the box with one of the first The 1975 logo’s that they’d created. It had the 3 dots underneath and it was a simple and elegant design that you were glad the band had chosen. At least until Matty changed his mind again.

You also got their signatures engraved into the inside of the box. You’d managed to get a good enough photo of their old Drive Like I Do CD which the person you bought it off online happily included their signatures onto the plaque.

You watched as Matty opened it and you could tell he loved it. You thought that you would explain a bit of your thinking behind the present. “I thought you would be self-absorbed enough to put it up in your room”

Matty let out a loud laugh at your comment and he nodded. “Yeah I really am… Thank you I love it!” He said before pulling you into a hug.

You hugged him back tightly and you just needed a little bit of confirmation from him. That one was the one you’d been most excited to give him, so you just had to ask “Do you like it?”

“Yeah, I love it so much. Thank you!” Matty excitedly said down your ear, before he started pecking your cheek with kisses.

You pulled away with a little giggle and you sat looking at him admiring the gift. His curls were down over his face and he was running his fingers over the engraving.

You smiled, “It’s okay, I just saw that someone made them and I knew I needed to get something band related for you”

“Well it’s amazing. Thank you” Matty said before pecking your lips.

You smiled, enjoying the sweet gesture before moving onto the next gift that was sort of for the both of you. You pulled out a hamper that you’d made for him. 

Inside it was a bunch of Quentin Tarantino movies that you knew Matty liked purely because of the director alone. The hamper was also full of different treats. It had all of his favourite snacks in there and a load of popcorn that you honestly couldn’t wait to crack open in the new year.

You also got him two cinema night’s for two at the local one in Wilmslow called The Rex. All this along with some money that you knew he’d been trying to save for to save up for the guitar he wanted.

Matty got excited looking at every little thing you’d included. He got really excited when he saw all of his favourite sweets in there. You couldn’t stop giggling when he got really excited over a bag of Skittles.

When he’d calmed himself down after seeing all the different things in your hamper, he moved his gifts onto your desk, so they were out of the way. When he sat back down on your bed, he pulled you onto his lap, so you were straddling him again.

It was an innocent act though he just wanted you close and your arms were wrapped around his neck and his were around your back. He hugged you so tightly your heart swelled.

You genuinely loved him so much and you just wanted to tell him, but you held yourself back. You in no way wanted to scare him off because you did really like him and wanted the good times with him to continue.

“Thank you so much. For everything” You softly tell him, moving back slightly so you could look into his bright brown eyes.

“No thank you. I’ve literally had the best Christmas in a long time and that’s down to you, so thank you” Matty said and you can’t help but kiss him quickly.

Matty kissed you back with a lot of emotion. You felt how genuine it was and you honestly got lost in the moment. Your fingers found their way into Matty’s curls and his arms tightened around your body, so you were pressed against him.

Things progressed and Matty’s tongue ran over your bottom lip and you smiled into the kiss, not letting him have his way straight away. You wanted to keep him waiting a second longer.

But Matty grew slightly impatient with that so he brought his right hand up and held your throat with it. You groaned immediately when he applied the bit of pressure, he knew you loved. His tongue found his way into your mouth where he then proceeded to get you into the mood that the night was quickly turning to.

But you still couldn’t wait for him to see what else you had in store for him. You pulled away when he dropped his hand from your throat, and you smiled at him.

“Do you want your last present?” You asked him seductively.

Matty gazed at you with lust filled eyes before nodding his head like an excited little boy. You giggled down at him and kissed him slowly a few more times before you pulled away and lent back on his lap so he could see you a bit more.

“Unwrap your last gift then” You smirked down at Matty before biting your lip.

You watched as he hesitated looking for where to start. You helped him out a little bit and unclasped his arms from around your back and moved them, so they were resting on your thighs.

You pushed his hands down so they were below where your dress ended and then lifted them back up, so his fingertips started to go underneath your red dress.

Matty then got to grips with himself and started pushing your dress higher up your body. He did it slowly though, as if taking in everything that he definitely didn’t expect to be under the dress.

Matty thought you were wearing tights originally but no. You were wearing stockings that were being held up by the straps that were connected to your new lingerie.

Matty’s face was a picture. As soon as his eyes looked at the straps you saw the excitement in his eyes.

The palms of his hands brushed up your thighs and you were getting excited just by his touch alone. You knew when he saw what was hidden underneath you were going to have one of the best nights of your life.

When your dress bunched you and Matty’s eyes landed on your lingerie you saw the excitement in his eyes turned to lust. And at that point as Matty kept slowly lifting your dress higher and higher.

Matty was just expecting some new lingerie but no you’d gone the extra mile. Matty felt himself get uncomfortably excited when he saw the leather body harness that you were wearing underneath your innocent outfit.

When he lifted your dress high enough, you took over and lifted it over your head. Once it was removed, you smiled down at Matty who now didn’t know where to look.

He looked like a kid in a sweet shop. He didn’t know where to start. 

You smirked at him when he groaned a, “Fuck me” whilst trying to process everything he was seeing.

“Okay” You smirked as you pushed him backwards onto the bed.

~*~*~

Paris with Matty was amazing. You’d never had a holiday like it.

To be honest though, you’d never been on a couple’s holiday, so that was an experience in itself. Matty had definitely enjoyed the spa day more than you but you’d had an amazing time.

You did enjoy yourself in the spa, but you were holding back laughter the entire time because of how much you knew Matty was loving it.

Whilst you were in Paris, you did so much. The day you got there you both settled into the hotel with ease and Matty tried to get you into bed sooner rather than later. However, you dragged him out to explore.

You were in a different country for the first time in years. You wanted to explore and have your own adventure with him.

The trip was amazing. You did everything that you wanted to do and even did the corny couple’s stuff that you always wished you’d secretly do.

You kissed on top of the Eiffel Tower which was one of the most magical moments of your relationship so far. You got your picture taken together below it and whilst you were there, Matty made you take a picture of him trying to ‘hold’ the tower.

It was so funny because he wouldn’t let you off until it was perfect. You joked that you were never going to go to Pisa with him and he told you to fuck off whilst laughing away.

All of the failed attempts were hilarious but the one where he got it right was the best. He looked so happy it just made your heart swell.

On one of the days you went sightseeing with him and you both had a really fun time. Matty loved watching how excited you were getting at every little thing.

At one point you got emotional because you saw a building that you saw in a film once and Matty started bullying you for it. He couldn’t keep a straight face as you teared up getting yourself that excited, because you’d seen a building in real life that you’d seen on TV.

Other than the slight bullying, you both had an amazing time. Matty was in complete awe of you the whole time. You were so happy about everything and when you looked towards him your smile only ever got bigger.

Matty had noticed that no one had ever looked at him the way you did. All he saw in your eyes was pure happiness and he was fairly certain he could look into your beautiful Y/E/C eyes and never get bored. He’d probably even say that they were even prettier than the sights around him.

When the time came, you both didn’t really want to come home. The 3 and a bit days just wasn’t long enough and you definitely wanted to go back again with him at some point.

But you’d both had the best time and despite getting back to the UK at 1pm in the afternoon you had your favourite day with him.

You were flying back into Heathrow because that was the only flight that would get you back home earlier enough to be at Georges Party. You don’t know why there was a set time that you had to be back but the boy wanted both of you there.

It was New Year’s Eve. To you, the only time you needed to be back for was midnight.

But you and Matty had planned ahead for this. You’d hired a car so you could both have a road trip back home, and, in the end, you were really glad it happened.

Matty started the driving back home and you happily controlled the music from the passenger’s seat. The 5 hours it took you to drive back home was really the best 5 hours of your holiday.

It was just the both of you being yourselves. About halfway home, you were chatting shit about literally nothing after you swapped over at a service station.

You were on the motorway driving back and you just finished chatting about the holiday and you were currently singing along to one of your favourite songs.

You were nodding your head singing along to Bulletproof by La Roux when you could feel Matty’s eyes on you. You glanced over at him keeping most of your attention on the road, but you caught a few glimpses of him and you saw that he was smiling at you.

“What?” You asked with an embarrassed smile.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see him shake his messy head at you, but the smile was still on his face.

“Nothing” He told you.

You glanced at him sceptically but for some reason you couldn’t stop smiling. You glanced at him again saying, “It’s gotta be something?”

“I just love you” Matty admits, which makes your eyes go wide. 

You never thought for one minute that Matty would be the one to say it first. You’d wanted to say it so many times on the holiday, but you just thought it would scare him off, so you kept it to yourself.

You looked towards him with a pleasantly surprised face. You weren’t shocked per say because of how different things were with the both of you compared to the way things started.

For example, Matty was different. He was a better version of himself. 

He seemed happier and more relaxed and that was always amazing to witness because no matter how carefree he seemed to be you knew him very well and he seemed genuinely happy around you.

He also wasn’t drinking as often and wasn’t doing as many drugs as you knew he typically did. He was a lot healthier in his mind and in himself.

Things had also been different between the both of you. Both emotionally and physically. The sex was no longer all or nothing, it had become more intimate and you never thought it would, but it made everything better.

Yes, sometimes you were both down for a good fuck but Matty had been taking things slowly and pacing it out. It was so intimate, and you genuinely loved it when he was sensitive. He honestly sometimes seemed like he was just admiring every single part of your body.

“Do you actually?” You asked Matty genuinely. 

Not in a way that seemed like you didn’t believe him. It was more for your own reassurance, but the look on your face just confirmed to Matty what he had just said.

He truly did love you and watching your contently singing your heart out after a wonderful time away together seemed like it was just as good of a time as any to tell you. 


“Yeah, I really do” Matty grinned as he could see how happy you looked.

“Awh! I love you too” You coo doing your best to keep your eyes on both him and the road. He looked so unbelievably happy in this moment, It warmed your heart.

“Really?” Matty asked looking excited.

“Of course I do. I’ve been trying not to say it for weeks because I didn’t wanna scare you off” You grinned and couldn’t help but Matty chuckle.

“I can’t believe you told me whilst we were driving though. I wanna kiss you so much right now” You admit pulling a sad face because all you genuinely wanted to do right now was kiss him until you both lost your breath.

Matty chuckled at that and softly apologised but he couldn’t help himself. Watching your sing in your own little world just solidified that he needed to just tell you the truth.

Matty lent to the side and grabbed the side of your face and brought your cheek to his lips. He held you there for 10 seconds or so as you giggled at his behaviour.

“You are without a doubt the best thing that’s happened to me Y/N Y/L/N. I love you” Matty told you and you wanted to cry hearing that.

You struggled with your reply because you wanted to get so many words out but also express your emotions through your actions. 

“I love you too Matthew Healy” You bare your heart to him, trying not to tear up.

“Oh no, have you seen another building from a TV show, or have I made you cry?” Matty asked, taking a hold of your hand that you weren’t currently using to drive.

You chuckled and blinked a few times trying to clear the tears from your vision. You shook your head and joked, “I hate you”

Matty scoffed, “I thought you loved me?” And you giggled at his joke.

“I really really do” You reassured him, giving his hand a tight squeeze. You glanced over at him and you shared the most adorable moment of pure adoration.

On that drive home you were the happiest you’d been. You didn’t things could get better than Christmas Day or Paris, but he’d literally just made you the happiest woman alive.

And later on at Georges Party, you kissed your boyfriend at the stroke of midnight. Instead of celebrating moving into 2012 the first thing you both admitted when you parted was, “I love you” 

~*~*~*~*~*~

The same time, exactly a year later, you were at another party but this one was much more important. New Year’s Eve 2012 was probably one of the most important days in Matty’s and the bands lives. They were finally releasing their first studio album out to the world.

When midnight struck Matty’s lips were on yours again the same time as last year and a second later you heard The City started blaring out of the loud speakers.

You were at their album release party and you were so so proud of all 4 of your boys. Over the past year you’d seen how much they had grown as artists and you were beyond proud of them.

They had worked so hard to get their first 2 EP’s out and you honestly loved it when they were released. You watched all of Matty’s hard work pay off and all the low times you’d experienced the past year were worth it because it got him to the high moment that was the release dates of the 2 EP’s.

The Facedown EP got released in August and you loved it with the whole of your heart. On that one you loved Antichrist so much. It was one of you favourites of theirs but Matty never sang it for you. You loved your boyfriend but sometimes he was a stubborn prick.

In the November they released the EP that you believed was Matty’s favourite and to be fair to him the Sex EP was amazing. He had worked so hard on it that sometimes he literally called you up when they were down in London recording because he just needed an outlet.

Sometimes he just needed to vent, and you were always there for him much like he was there for you.

You’d heard a lot about the recording that the boys had done in London over the year but after almost every session Matty always phoned you up and told you what went down. You both did really miss each other when he went away.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t experience everything with him. You had your commitments to your job at your old school and you honestly loved what you did.

But it did mean that you had to miss some of the slightly more important things to do with Matty’s unfolding career. Matty, however, was always too excited about everything which meant that you never really missed anything.

And you honestly loved it when he called you up to tell you about what happened. You remembered when they released the EP for Sex too which was an amazing night.

Matty had been so nervous he stayed on the phone to you for hours, but you were on your laptop looking through what people were saying about their music. And the majority of the responses were amazing.  

Everyone really seemed to be loving it, just like you were, and you couldn’t stop telling Matty how proud of him you were.

So, when the album came out you couldn’t contain your excitement. You were so proud of them and you had it playing everywhere. There wasn’t a song on it that you didn’t enjoy.

The album release was probably one of the most exciting parties you’d been to with the band. It had so many important people there for them and you teared up when the boys gave their speech thanking everyone for everything.

The party was a huge success and so was the album. Everyone seemed to love it and it was a great way to start off 2013.

The boys started touring in March and you missed your man like crazy. They were going away for god knows how long and you were so gutted you couldn’t go with them because of work.

Matty of course understood because he fully supported you with your work over the past 19 months that you’d been officially seeing each other. He got you through the really difficult times you’d had when you felt like you were shit at your job because a few students seemed to be getting worse not better.

Their health and wellbeing was one of the most important things to you, so some days you would come home feeling completely defeated when you felt like you didn’t help anyone.

You loved the kids that you helped so it really hurt your heart when you felt like you weren’t giving them what they needed.

If Matty was in Manchester, he would be the first over to comfort you despite your friends from high school and now Ava all living close by. He held you when you got emotional about it and tried his best to cheer you up when you were feeling down.

He always had a welcome distraction planned for you and if he was in London, he did the same. He would distract you by Skyping you and he would show you everything he’d been up to whilst he’d been away.

You made the relationship work despite the distance between you. And you grew more in love with him every day.

In a way, you thought that the distance also helped your relationship to because whenever Matty came home you felt like you got to fall in love with him all over again. You were always hit with the wave of positive and loving emotions when you were finally in his embrace again and you loved it.

You guessed distance really did make the heart grow fonder.

The 1975’s tour started off with a shorter run of gigs. It was their first tour after all, and Jamie and Dirty Hit had been so accommodating for them you were jealous you couldn’t experience it with them.

Of course, you went to their Manchester gig when they started the tour off and wished them all good luck and reluctantly said your goodbyes to them after the show finished. You and Matty said a long goodbye to each other before he got on the tour bus.

You really did miss him when he went away but you wouldn’t sacrifice his dream for anything.

He was finally getting what he wanted, and both of your dreams were taking off. You were happy in a secure job and Matty was going on the tour of his life. He was becoming the Rockstar he always said he would be.

And you were so proud of him.

They seemed to be having such a good time. You followed all their social medias and you obviously got sent videos of them and you were so happy seeing your boys on stage. They were definitely meant to be up there.

They were finishing the gigs off in London at the end of April and you’d booked the Friday off work so you could go down and surprise Matty.

You hadn’t seen him in person for 2 months and because of both of your work you hadn’t chatted as much as you wish you did like before they were being asked to do longer sets and in bigger venues.

The last time Matty had called you he told you that because of the public’s demand for their show’s they were doing another UK tour almost straight after. This time the venues would again be bigger, and more fans could get in to enjoy their incredible music.

You were over the moon for them because this is what they had all wanted for so long. It had quite literally been Matty’s lifelong goal to get to a place where they were selling out venues and here, they were.

They were easily selling out the O2 Apollo in Manchester and you had no doubt they would one day sell out Manchester Arena and quite possibly even the O2 in London.

The only person you told that you were coming down to surprise them was Adam because you knew he was the only reliable one of the group and he would actually keep it a secret.

So, you texted Adam once you parked up somewhere near Brixton academy. You’d got there an hour and a half before the boys were due on stage and you couldn’t wait to be at the front cheering them on, just like you were in Manchester the previous month.

Adam came at met you at the back entrance and he let you in after giving him a massive hug. You loved Adam so much and thanked him for keeping it a secret from Matty and the rest of the boys.

Adam told you that it was fine, and that he was just glad for you to be back around again. He explained that he was hoping you’d get Matty back to normal and bring him down a peg or two.

Apparently, Matty had been thinking he was the shit. Like his ego had grown more than the boys had ever thought possible so when you told Adam you were coming, he jokingly pleaded with you to come earlier and whip him back into shape.

You, of course, would definitely remind Matty that he was just a normal guy and that he was no one special. He was still the same kid from Wilmslow who was in a band they’d started when they were 13.

Just because they were selling out venues didn’t mean the person on the inside was any different.

Adam led you to a room that he thought both Ross and George were in first to surprise them but unfortunately only Ross was in there. George must have gone out exploring because you only had Ross to surprise in that specific room.

He was thrilled to see you though. He jumped right up and gave you a massive hug with the biggest smile on his face. 



“I can’t believe you’re here” Ross said giving you the best hug you’d had in ages.

You hugged him back tightly, “I couldn’t miss this one! Ava was gunna come but she got called into work last minute… So she’s really sorry but told me to give you a big kiss from her anyway”

You then proceeded to plant a kiss on his cheek which made Ross chuckle when he released you. Adam was called away by a tech guy who needed to ask him something about the set-up of his guitar, so you reluctantly said goodbye to him for the time being.

You asked Ross where everyone was, and he told you that George said he would be back in a minute, but he had no clue about Matty. He presumed he would be in one of the other dressing rooms getting himself emo’d up, which wouldn’t surprise you in the slightest.

You’d walked into his room at home multiple of times to see him putting on his black nail polish or some eyeliner. He did it more than you did which made you laugh on multiple occasions.

After 5 minutes though, George still hadn’t returned so Ross suggested that you both go and try to find Matty which you agreed to. You honestly couldn’t wait to see him and give him the biggest hug and kiss.

You’d had a shitty time apart recently, just because you were missing him so much. So you were really eager to surprise him.

You thought that it would be just what the both of you needed. You loved him so much, you couldn’t wait to cheer him on and be in his arms later tonight.

After trying the first two dressing rooms and not finding anyone, Ross told you that he knew he would be in the next one, so you allowed yourself get really excited.

“I can tell you’ve missed me as much as you’ve missed him” Ross joked as you walked through the corridor.

You were quite clearly ecstatic to be seeing Matty again. Ross had never seen you this bubbly or excited. 

“Shut up you. You know I’ve missed you loads! I just love him and feel like I haven’t seen him in a year” You told him, and Ross of course understood.

Ross pointed to the room that he knew Matty would be in. He really wouldn’t be surprised if Matty was in there applying make-up or if he was passed out asleep on the sofa.  

Either way Ross could see how excited you were and instructed you to go in first. You sent Ross a quick smile and pushed the door open with a spring to your step.

You were so eager to see Matty it was unreal. To you it really felt like you hadn’t seen him in forever.

You’d been so stressed with work and you’d really missed him.

But apparently that was a one-sided ordeal because when you walked into the room you stopped dead and your blood ran cold. You felt Ross walk into you behind you, but you’d already gone numb and felt sick.

Ross looked down at you wondering why you’d stopped so suddenly but then he raised his eyes.

Matty’s tongue was in a brunette’s mouth and they were both shirtless. The pair on the sofa were on each other like animals and you’d started to tear up looking at the sight in front of you.

You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces as soon as your eyes landed on the scene that was playing out in front of you. Your vision was getting blurrier by the second, but you couldn’t take your eyes away.

You willed yourself to wake up from the godawful nightmare that you were experiencing. There was no other explanation for it.

You literally spoke to Matty 2 days ago on Skype and he wouldn’t stop telling you how much he loved and missed you. You just didn’t understand.

The only thing that knocked you out of your shocked state was when Ross shouted from behind you, “What the fuck?!”

This seemed to shock everyone in the room because Matty broke away from the girl and looked around the room to find where Ross’ voice had come from. But his face changed to one of complete shock when he saw you stood there, looking like you’d just seen a ghost.

Matty could see the tears in your eyes from where he was, and his face immediately dropped. He went from looking excited to deflated in a matter of seconds. Probably the same way you were excited to see him but now your world was completely shattered.

The tears had already started to fall and it didn’t help that everyone was just stood there frozen in place. But that didn’t last long.

Matty made a move to come towards you and you unfroze immediately, backing yourself up into Ross. The apology didn’t form in your mouth, but you pushed yourself back against him to slip back out of the door.

“Y/N/N” You heard Ross say softly but you needed to leave. 

You couldn’t stay. Not after seeing that.

You hastily walked down the corridor and you could vaguely hear Ross following behind you. You turned the next corner and pushed through the door.

You didn’t even go the way you knew you could get out you kept walking around the labyrinth that was backstage of the venue with tears streaming down your face.

You didn’t know where the next door would take you but it led you down another corridor, but you heard your name being called from in front of you.

“Oh my god Y/N. What are you doing here?” George grinned, jogging his way towards you, opening his arms towards you for a hug.

You ran into his arms and a sob immediately ripped through you. You felt like you were about to collapse. Your heart hurt so much, and your chest felt empty but so heavy at the same time.

You just didn’t understand why it was happening. You loved Matty so so much and the more you thought about what you just witnessed, the more hysterical you got. When you didn’t reply to George though, he realised you were sobbing and starting to hyperventilate.

“Shit Y/N/N, what’s wrong?” George asked worriedly. 

He’d never seen you like this before and the fact that you were here out of the blue scared him even more.

You looked up at him and tried to make words form but you were really struggling, and George could see that. But then you heard shouting and the doors that you just walked through slam open.

George looked up and saw Ross and Matty shouting abuse at each other but then he looked back down to you realising you were about to say something to him.

“He’s cheated on me George” You managed to get out before another sob caused you to choke up and you hugged yourself back into his chest.

You didn’t see it, but George’s face turned to one of pure anger. As soon as his eyes connected with Matty’s, he got the angriest he’s ever been at his best friend.

“Get him the fuck away from her right now” George told Ross with venom laced in his voice. Ross knew it wasn’t directed at him, but the anger laced in his voice scared him.

Ross didn’t even want to think what fear that would have instilled into Matty. George hugged you closer to him not fully understanding what happened, but he believed you without a second thought. And his own heart broke for you.

“Y/N” Matty shouted but George just felt you sob again and hug him tighter. 

It was like you were holding onto him for dear life. He literally thought you were about to break in his arms, and he guessed you already sort of were which hurt him more.

“You better fuck off before I hit you” George shouted at Matty seeing red.

And something about it actually caused Matty to pause enough for Ross to physically move him. Matty didn’t know if it was because if it was the drugs or that George was genuinely fucking scary at that moment.

“I need to speak to her” Matty shouted back stopping in front of Ross.

“You can do that when she wants to. Move now” Ross said pushing against him again.

George had started moving you down to the opposite direction. You don’t remember getting there but the next time you move your head away from George’s chest you are in a room with just him.

You don’t remember sitting down but you find that your sat next to him crying into his chest. You pick your head up off his chest and looking at Georges face just makes you want to cry again.

You were embarrassed and just wanted to hide away and never see anyone again. You were literally crying into Matty’s best friends’ chest, why was this your life.

“Hey, come on” George cooed, moving his arms from around you to your face so he could wipe the tears away for you.

He’d never seen someone so distraught in his entire life and when your lip started wobbling, he knew you were about to break again.

“I love him so much George. Why would he do this to me?” You barely managed to get out. Your heart hurt so much it was hard for you to breathe and get everything out.

“I don’t know” George said honestly. 

He’d not even noticed Matty becoming distant from his relationship with you. Yes, they were down in London a lot, but George knew the effort you made to keep in contact.

“I just don’t get it” You cry, wiping your tears away and calming down for a second.

But that quickly changed when your voice cracked, “He was all over her George”

Listening to that, George’s heart hurt for you. He couldn’t even imagine what you were going through.

Your chest was tight, and it hurt so much. All you wanted to do was sob until you had no tears left. You felt completely broken.

“I just walked in and they were both half naked and he was all over her and I can’t get it out of my head” You rambled through your tears.

George shushed you gently pulling you back into him so he could be your shoulder to cry on again.

After about 20 minutes, George had magically calmed you down so you weren’t crying as much anymore. Your chest still felt horrendously tight and your breath was shaky, but you weren’t crying as much.

Your brain was working a bit more and you were able to process what was actually happening. George was keeping you calm by his presence alone, but you had t get something off your chest.

“I don’t know why you’re here with me George. I know were friends but he’s your family” You said standing up wiping the few tears that fell.

George stood up to and put his hands on your shoulders saying “Woah Y/N…”

“Don’t you ever think that I would stick up for him when he’s done this. I’ve been looking about for you a lot longer than that fucker out there” George said, and he saw your eyes well up again.

“Y/N/N come here” He said hugging you into him again.

You felt him run a hand up and down your back giving you the comfort you so desperately needed right now. 

“Thank you” You whispered into his body and held you closer.

After a minute of staying like that in George’s arms you pulled away and said, “I need to speak to him, don’t I?”

“Not tonight you don’t. Not if you don’t want to anyway” George told you. 

You could tell he was getting himself angry at the thought of Matty again.

“I think I need to Georgie” You told him but then there was a knock at your door.

It was Ross saying that the gig was starting in 10. He came in and gave you the biggest hug apologising for everything, but nothing was his fault. It was Matty’s and Matty’s alone.

George got one of the crew that he’d recently become friends with to drive your car and drop you off at his and Matty’s shared flat. You were in no fit state to currently drive so George was glad you didn’t go against him on that.

You obviously didn’t want to stay and watch the gig and you wouldn’t let George cancel it despite his protests.

You said you would wait there to speak to Matty and to be honest you could definitely use the alone time to get your emotions out and gather your thoughts. George saw you out and gave you the keys to their flat and him and Ross gave you the biggest hugs before you left.

George reluctantly walked back into the building, feeling like pure shit. He walked back with Ross to a room that Matty was situated in.

When Matty saw George, he stood up and made his way towards him. George could smell the weed from the door so when he got closer it was almost unbearable.

And that was saying something. George smoked it a fair amount but everything about his best mate in front of him was wrong. He was completely pissed and high as fuck.

“Where is she? I need to see her” Matty asked, trying to get past George.

“Sit the fuck back down. You’re not seeing her right now” George said not moving an inch.

“George come on, I need to sort it out” Matty tried again this time trying to push past him.

This just caused George to see red once more. “She doesn’t want to see you right now. She’ll see you back at ours after the show to talk”

Matty looked relieved at this information and placed a hand on George’s shoulder. “Thank you so much mate”

George shrugged his hand away and said “Don’t fucking touch me. The only reason you aren’t on the ground right now is because we’ve got a gig to do”

George then proceeded to walk past Matty, barging into his shoulder as he did so.

~*~*~*~

After hours of collecting your thoughts at Matty and George’s flat, you felt prepared for what you had to say to Matty when they arrived back.

But of course, things never turn out as planned when your emotions start running high. As soon as Matty came back into the same room as you the tears started burning your eyes again.

And about 10 minutes of Matty apologising you’d had enough.

“Stop apologising now. If you were actually sorry you wouldn’t have done what you did in the first place” You said trying to hold back the tears.

After that you sighed and sat back down on their sofa. Matty didn’t seem to know what to reply to that, but you then started up again as the tears started falling down your face.

“I love you and you know how hard it was to let myself do that… And you let me believe you loved me. For over a year. Which is worse” You told him quietly.

Matty looked at you out of the corner of his eye and quietly returned, “But I do love you”

Lies, you thought. You shook your head letting the tears fall. 

“No, you fucking don’t. You wouldn’t have done this to me if you loved me”

“Y/N” He started, and he tried to come near you but you flinched away.

You shook your head, “No”

“Don’t” You told him.

“I don’t want you to come anywhere near me” You said sternly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you” Matty told you staying in his spot in front of you.

“No, you didn’t mean to hurt me, did you?” You scoffed wanting to throw something you were getting that angry.

“You didn’t mean to hurt me because you were just gunna come back home and fuck me like you’d fucked no one else in-between” You said stating the truth because that is what would have happened.

It hurt to think about but if you hadn’t interrupted there’s no way it wouldn’t have happened. And you would have been the doting clueless girlfriend waiting at home for her man to come back.

“It wouldn’t have hurt me because you weren’t going to tell me” You stated.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Please please forgive me” Matty tried again but you shook your head.

“No” You told him. “You don’t get to cheat on me and expect to be forgiven for it”

“You’re just sorry that you were caught” You told him and Matty couldn’t even look you in the eye. 

That action itself, spoke volumes.

You put your head in your hands so you could hide yourself. You also tried to contain the sob that was dying to come out. You took a deep breath and sighed.

You went silent for a minute and then you let out a juddery breath. Leaning back against the settee, you closed your eyes and whispered to yourself, “I just can’t believe it’s happened again” 

Matty looked at you and asked, “What do you mean ‘again’?”

“You’ve done the same thing that Miles did” You said remembering back to your first real relationship before University.

Miles was your first proper boyfriend, but he was a year old than you so when he went to Uni the year before you did, things became difficult.

“He left to go to Uni and cheated on me because he couldn’t wait until he came back home” You clarified to Matty for the first time.

When you’d previously spoken about your past relationship, you just told him that you’d been cheated on and didn’t really want to talk about it. Because what else was there to say? 

You’d let someone in and they had disappointed you. Just like Matty had done now.

Hearing those words fall from your lips causes Matty to have a lightbulb moment.

It finally clicked what you said just over two years ago now back at your university. The memory came back to Matty of you saying why you only wanted a relationship when you got back home from Uni and not one whilst you were still in Leeds.

He’d always meant to ask you about it but always forgot when the memory came back. You’d said that ‘People don’t tend to wait for what they want’ and Matty’s gut dropped at the realisation. He really was a fucking dickhead.

At that point Matty looked at you and dropped onto his knees right in front of you and begged, “Y/N, please forgive me”

The messy haired boy continued, “I was drunk and high. I didn’t know what I was doing. I’m not like him, you know I’m not”

“Well you fucking are! You think that getting completely wasted gives you the fucking excuse to cheat on me and make me feel like a worthless piece of shit. No, it fucking doesn’t Matty. You’re a fucking prick” You started again picking yourself up of the sofa.

“Y/N please. I love you so much, don’t do this” Matty said, throwing those words around again and you rolled your eyes as he stood himself up.

“No, you don’t love me Matty. You just don’t... George loves Jess. You do not love me” You reiterate trying to spell it out for him.

“What do they have to do with anything?” He asked and you looked at him like he was thick.

“Can’t you understand it? George would never do this to Jess because he loves her so fucking much. So just stop lying… Stop saying you love me because you don’t” You told him, and you could hear the seriousness in your voice.

“They aren’t us” Matty tried but you just him off.

You shouted at him then, “No, they are fucking better! Because George wouldn’t do this or make anyone feel like this”

“I didn’t mean to. I really fucking do love you.” 

Those words again. 

Lies.

“No, you don’t!” You yelled and the tears started falling again. “If you loved me like I actually love you, there’s no way you would even look at someone else, let alone touch them”

When you said that Matty walked toward you, grabbing your hand in hopes to pull you back. “Y/N she meant nothing. She’s not you. I love you” 

Lies.

You turned around and slaped him across the face, hard. You hand fucking hurt and it was throbbing after your skin connected with his.

You hand was currently causing you more pain than your chest and that was saying a lot. At least it distracted you from the pain of a broken heart.

George must have heard it because he came into the room and slowly closed the door behind him. He just wanted to make sure you were okay and definitely wanted to make sure Matty didn’t retaliate.

Matty twisted his head back around to look at you and you could see the water pooling in his eyes. It obviously hurt him because you’d never seen Matty tear up over anything. Not even at his gigs because he was so horrendously out of touch with his emotions.

But at least his eyes let you know that he was in some sort of pain. And at least you knew that was true.

“You’re a cunt Matty. We are fucking done! Stop throwing those useless words around because you do not love me!” You shouted at him whilst more tears spilled down your face.

You moved away from him and grabbed your coat from the side and picked up your bag. You couldn’t even look at him whilst you calmly said, “You ruined this. This is your fucking fault and I hate you for it”

You walked towards George who had already opened the door for you to leave. You turned back to Matty and saw his watery eyes and your red handprint on his face.

“Don’t you ever speak to me again” You told the boy you loved before you hastily left, George hot on your tail.

He’d obviously heard everything, and you didn’t even care. All you wanted to do was go home and cry.

It was 12:30am and you were adamant you were driving yourself back home. You didn’t care about the time. You’d already anticipated that you would be staying up late anyway.

You just assumed it would be catching up with your boyfriend and having a bit of fun with him. Not driving back home in the middle of the night.

You managed to persuade George to let you drive back because it would clear your head and that the traffic would have been quieter because no one would be on the road. He really didn’t want to let you, but he could see you pleading with your eyes.

You don’t know how but you managed to collect yourself enough to drive back home. You couldn’t even say proper goodbyes to the other boys because all you were itching to do was get yourself home because you were seeking the comfort it brought you.

For the long drive back, you managed to block everything from your mind and just focus on the driving that you had to do. You didn’t need to accidentally kill yourself on the motorway to prove a point.

You were going to prove your point by rising above him and getting on with your life. But you needed to get over it first and that was definitely easier said than done.

When you got home you cried yourself to sleep and you’d never been happier for an empty house. You ugly cried into your bedding and eventually calmed down enough to fall asleep.

When you woke up the next day you texted Denise asking if you could come around the following day. Of course, she said yes because you were like family and had been round a few times to babysit Louis for her whilst Matty had been away.

When you got there, she knew something was wrong straight away. You put it down to the face that you’d made no effort at all and your face was probably puffy.

She brought you in and sat you down as she could see the tears forming in your eyes.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asked you and you released a shaky breath.

“I just wanted to come around and tell you myself…” You started, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

Denise sat quietly waiting for you to continue but from watching you she already knew what you were about to say. Her heart broke seeing you like this.

“Me and Matty aren’t together anymore” You told her, and your heart sank seeing the sad smile appear on her face.

“Aw honey” She cooed sadly, before giving you a hug because she saw the tears begin to fall down your face.

You hugged tightly as you didn’t know when your last hug would be with her. And you did love her, she was your second Mum. She’d always been so lovely and warm with you that you it broke you a bit more that you wouldn’t see her as much.

You took a deep breath before pulling away from her to wipe your cheeks and you gave her a sad smile. Denise sat herself down on the bar stool next to you again and she watch you collect yourself until she knew you were ready to talk again.

“Can I ask what happened? I haven’t heard of Matty in days, so I don’t know anything” She asked you cautiously.

You pressed your lips together to think of how to tell her in the nicest way possible. You weren’t going to cover up what he’d done. You couldn’t. No matter how much you loved Denise, you wouldn’t lie to her about what he’d done to you.

You nodded slightly and started, “I went down to London to surprise him but when I got there me and Ross walked in on him cheating on me”

A tear rolled down your cheek when you said that, and you couldn’t stop looking at her reaction. Her eyes went wide and she looked away from you for a second as if she needed a second to process what you told her.

She sighed and looked back to you, “Please tell me you’re joking”

You tried to smile at her, but your eyes blurred up with tears again and you shook your head.

“I wish I was” You admit, blinking away the fuzziness and you felt the tears run down your face, along with the lump in your throat returning.

She shook her head, “Y/N, I’m so sorry”

“I promise you I didn’t raise him to behave in that way. I’m so sorry” She apologises, taking your face in her hands and wiping your tears away for you.

You smiled at her kindness. 

“It’s definitely not your fault. You’re one of the nicest people I know Denise. He’s lucky to have you” You said honestly.

“He’s going to wish he didn’t have me when I finish speaking to him on the phone later” Denise told you honestly with anger in her voice. 

You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at it though and she chuckled to releasing your tear strained face to hold one of your hands.

“I’m being serious though. The next time I see him I might slap him” She said squeezing your hand tightly.

You returned the gesture and tell her honestly, “I won’t lie to you, I’ve already done that”

“Good. He fucking deserves it” She nods, and you were thankful she didn’t hate you.

You wiped the tears from your face with the sleeve of your hoodie and Denise kept talking to you which you were thankful for. She treated you like her own daughter which you were so grateful for.

You could tell she genuinely cared about your happiness. You vented all your feeling to her, and she listened and understood every single word you said.

“I really do love him, I just want you to know that. And I love you and Louis too. I just don’t think I could lose all three of you at once which is why I wanted to come and see you” You told as you started to tear up again.

“And we love you too, honey. And nothing’s changed on that front. You are and always will be welcomed here with open arms” She tells you and you feel the lump rising in your throat again.  

You just couldn’t believe how kind she was being with you. But at the same time, you could. She was one of the most amazing people you’d ever met.

“And me and Louis don’t want to lose you at all. I have no doubt he would love for you to look after him when I go out if you still want to do that. Of course, I understand if you don’t, but you know how much he loves it when you come around” She said.

This made you break down again and the tears started falling again. You’d forgot that a breakup wasn’t only between two people. It was like losing a whole other part of your life. A whole other family.

You considered Matty, Denise and Louis family. And it broke you that you wouldn’t be seeing them as much. It was a prime example of how one person’s actions could affect multiple other people down the line.

“I’d love that, thank you” You shakily said and Denise gave you a warm smile.

“God,” You sighed, wiping your tears, “I didn’t even think about having to tell Louis. I think that’s going to be the worse bit” 

“Darling you don’t have to do that. I’ll tell him for you” Denise squeezed your hand as you started tearing up again.

But you shook your head. “Thank you but the least I can do is tell him why I won’t be around a lot anymore. I won’t tell him everything though I promise”

“You’re too kind Y/N. You know that you are always welcome here, don’t you? Probably more welcome than my actual son” She told you which made the both of you giggle.

Denise made you a cup of tea and invited you to stay for tea which you reluctantly agreed to. But after you told Louis, that was the only thing that seemed to make him smile.

When you told Louis that you broke up with Matty, he slowly broke down. He started crying and you had to comfort him, and it broke your heart even more. Louis himself looked broken-hearted which made you want to cry but you stopped yourself.

You promised him you would still be around, and you arranged a day out with him in a fortnight that Denise approved of entirely. Both you and Denise did everything to cheer to cheer Louis back up and by the time he went to bed he seemed relatively like his normal self again.

After that you’d asked Denise if you could go and grab a few things out of Matty’s room. She of course said yes, and you went around the room that you’d grown to love the past year and a half and collected your belongings.

You had clothes in his wardrobe. Your make up on his desk. Discarded hoodies that Denise had definitely folded away when you were both out. You took just about everything that you knew was yours.

You only left the things that you weren’t too sure about. You mostly just shared everything so the picking and choose what might have been yours or not was really started to hurt your heart.

You had another mini breakdown in his room and silently cried into his pillow for a good few minutes. That was until you got a grip of yourself and went downstairs to say goodbye to Denise.

When you got back home you had another good cry and relished in your empty house. You wanted something to alleviate the pain, so you cracked open a bottle of vodka and started drinking the night away.

But when drunk and emotional no one made the best decisions and tonight you definitely didn’t. You called Matty up and waited as the dialling tone rang out.

“Of course, you didn’t answer your phone” You sighed into your phone when it told you to leave a message.

“You really are that much of a pussy” You say seriously but then drunkenly giggle.

You’re still laughing as you say “Aw god, I fucking hate you”

You go quiet for a second and let out a breath. “I really fucking hate you” You say calmly and then go quiet for a moment.

“You know… I had to sit down today and explain to Louis why I won’t see him anymore”

“He started crying and it broke me even more so well done… You didn’t just break my heart; you broke your little brothers too” You said started to tear up remembering Louis’ reaction. 

That probably hurt you more than the actual break up.

“You’re a fucking vile human being Matty. I just want you to know that... You need to sort yourself out because no one’s going to go anywhere near someone who can’t keep their dick in their pants because they’ve done some drugs.” You said sternly, but then your drunken self-changed your tone.

“And one day, I hope you do. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as you made me” You admit before having a mini pause.

Because you did love him. You wanted him to be happy one day, even if it wasn’t with you.

“But for now, I fucking hate you” You continue calmly. “You made me tell your family how you broke my heart and I had to sit there and comfort your brother and lie about why…” 

Your voice broke at the end, causing you to swallow the lump you felt in your throat away.

“I had to sit there and pretend that I didn’t love you anymore which I wish was true” You spill your feelings into the phone, and you started to cry again.

“I fucking wish I hated you… But I don’t. I love you and that’s why I’m broke” You managed to get out and you sniffled again for a second before you got control of yourself.

“But you can get fucked” You said as if you’d said it to him in person.

“You’re not gunna ruin my life like you’re ruining your own” You said in the most serious voice after it. There was no hint of joking to it at all.

“So, fuck you. Fuck getting someone to love. Fuck the relationship that I thought I needed with you” You can feel yourself getting angry about it.

“You’re a twat and I hope you know it... No matter how big and famous you get, you’ll always be that arsehole druggie who can’t keep it in his pants” You said, and you could feel the anger rising in your chest.

You go silent for a good moment until you take a deep breath and release it. “Right well… I’ve had my rant. I think we can agree you’re a prick and I hope you have a shit time for a long time”

You said that but then the tears started to come back. You did still love him, no matter how much you said you hated him, and you did want him to be happy.

It hurt that you were calling him all these names. At one point you wouldn’t let anyone say anything bad about him at all. But after what he’s done, things obviously changed.

The tears fell and you sniffed up to stop your nose from running again. 

“Bye” You whispered, and you knew that this was the point that you’d but it to rest.

You were in no way over it. But you weren’t going to let yourself fall back down.

This was your lowest point and now, the only way to happiness, was to pick yourself back up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @dot-writes @lololovestaylor @murderousginger @peachquestions @siwiecola @nostalgic1975 @fairyyyfloss @theycallmenefi @colette2194 @maroonmolly @sexycleopatra @mrsprescott @fullmoonremus @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @minigranger

Let me know if you want to be tagged x

#matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty the 1975 #the 1975 #matty healy fanfic #matty healy imagine #matty healy fluff #matty healy blurb #matty healy x you #matty healy x y/n #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fluff #george daniel #george the 1975 #Ross Macdonald #ross the 1975 #Adam Hann #adam the 1975

[strangenewfriends]

I'd love it for blogs to make their own HS/LT top 5 fashion bracket! I know the poll results are always a head-scratcher... What would be yours?

Okay so, I made the personal decision to not include any editorial outfits, and I also chose to give performance/music video looks their own category and then everything else in the other category. I use numbers but wouldn’t say that means this is the order. ALSO not including something doesn’t mean I disliked it–I definitely liked more than ten looks from each of them this year!

HARRY PERFORMANCE/MUSIC VIDEO:

1. Fine Line UK Secret Show yellow suit

2.  Adore You brown Marni outfit

3. SNL Red Suit.

4. Lights Up blue outfit with suspenders

5. Capital Jingle Ball jumpsuit

HARRY EVERYTHING ELSE:

1. Lanvin coat filming for Crosswalk Musical

2. Christopher Kane SEX shirt and Bode overshirt for SNL

3. Lanvin sheep jumper

4. Striped shirt and vintage denim jacket leaving NYC

5. Gucci Red Velvet jacket for the Met Gala pre party

LOUIS PERFORMANCE/MUSIC VIDEO

1.  LA Jingle Ball black jacket and tshirt

2. LA Jingle Ball village patchwork sweater

3.  Knit Polo short from the Two of Us music video

4.  Black and white polo from Two of Us livestream

5. Children In Need checked jacket and turtleneck

LOUIS EVERYTHING ELSE:

1. Red bethany williams london shirt for BBC radio

2. AMI sweater and sweatpants in NYC

3. TCAs Stella McCarteney bomber jacket

4. Red striped polo at the fan breakfast in London

5. This prada shirt we only saw in this one insta story with a filter over it

Feel free to disagree.

#asks #anon #Anonymous

[charlesleclerc]

tagged by @4mulaone - thank u because i’m a narcissist who likes talking about myself

🐳 name: georgia

🐳 nickname: g, gina, gb

🐳 zodiac sign: (bcos i’m a hoe who un/ironically is into astrology) my sun sign is sagittarius, my moon is pisces and my rising is virgo

🐳 height: 5′9″ but i actually regularly lie and add an extra inch to my height

🐳 nationality: british

🐳 languages spoken: only english. i used to study spanish and two of my flatmates are spanish so i still understand it fairly well but i can’t speak it anymore

🐳 what time is it: 21:05

🐳 celebrity crush: *glances at url*

🐳 favourite fictional character: lol so many. (i’m currently rereading the dark artifices) so julian blackthorn. as a kid i had a massive crush on will parry from his dark materials. i also want to be sloan sabbath when i grow up (the newsroom)

🐳 favourite musician: alt-j, banks, sasha sloan, the 1975, astrid s, the weeknd etc.

🐳 favourite sports team: idk. in football i support celtic??

🐳 favourite season: summer, obvs

🐳 favourite flower: lavender

🐳 favourite scent: i love the smell of suncream. it reminds me of being on holiday

🐳 favourite animal: i honestly don’t have one??

🐳 favourite food: pasta. any way. any time. 

🐳 dream car: i can’t afford driving lessons, a car, or insurance. so any car i’m legally allowed to drive.

🐳 dream trip: nyc or a roadtrip down the west coast of the us

🐳 instruments: nada

🐳 coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee

🐳 dog or cat person: i’m actually quite scared of dogs. so cats.

🐳 following: 270

🐳 followers: 917 - i honestly don’t check my follower account much so i’m ???? why do so many people follow me

🐳 other blogs: i’ve had so many tumblrs in the past. but this is my only one. i have 3 twitter accounts tho lol

🐳 blog established: idk. this blog probably like 2015?? (i’ve changed urls and fandoms a lot in that time). i’ve been on tumblr since 2011 though.

🐳 do you have a tumblr crush: not really lol

🐳 do you get asks: almost never. probably because i’m not v active or interesting

🐳 what is your lucky number: 4

🐳 what are you wearing right now: running leggings, a sports bra and a grey jumper

🐳 drink of choice: non-alcoholic is coffee. alcoholic is a nice new zealand sauv blanc

🐳 number of blankets you sleep with: in winter like at least 3, i have self insulation problems

🐳 average sleep hours: i try between 7-8 bcos i feel like absolute dog shite with less than 7.5

🐳 random fact: motorsport related y’all (aka this was the only thing i thought of). i saw louis deletraz when i went to geneva and i spent like half a minute staring at him as he walked towards me trying to figure out who he was, so he gave me a really dirty look lol. i don’t blame him btw

tagging whoever wants to do this !! just say i tagged you so i can read this :)

#personal

[laurasinele]

When Harry met Hamish (a Fictober19 Galahad/Merlin drabble)

Prompt 18: “Secrets? I love secrets!”

Fandom: Kingsman

Tags: Merlin’s real name is Hamish Blackwood, Harry Hart saves him from his abusers, they both love Pride and Prejudice

Warnings: bullying, beating

Ao3

Hamish hated them all the very moment they stepped into Kingsman’s facilities. Cocky, self-absorbed bastards them all, sons of noblemen proud to be somewhere down, deep, deep, down the line of succession to their queen —careful, Hamish, your Scott is showing.

He wasn’t even supposed to be here yet. Merlin was just being a dick. Though it was probably because he was being a smartass. Computer science advanced fast and Merlin was really old, after all. Nevertheless, putting Hamish to train with this particular batch of candidates was a ruthless punishment, certainly disproportionate given that his only crime was pointing out syntax errors in a line of code, or twenty-five.

“Hey, Blackwood! Come join us by the lake!”

They were camping in the forest around the mansion. It was supposed to be a leisure activity, though Hamish knew, as Merlin’s apprentice, that something was supposed to attack them in the next 24 hours, and this brats were thinking about swimming and bullying him instead of keeping alert.

“Nah, thanks. I’m perfectly fine here”.

“Come on”, said little Lord Wilkinson, swim trunks dripping on the book Hamish was reading, yanking him up by the arm. “You are ruining the fun for us”.

Oh, Hamish knew so well where this was going. He resigned to his destiny and calmly took off his glasses and store them in the zipped pocket of his chest. The blurry figures by the lake were encouraging them, and the sun was beginning to set. Four against one with visual disadvantage wasn’t a good prospect. And at least two of them wanted revenge on him for their shameful defeats on the judo matt —young Lord Willoughby— and the fencing court —Sir Harold Louis Everett's son. Now, despite his good training in close combat, Merlin was unarmed and clearly overpowered. The best strategy was observe and wait for his chance to flee. Except it never came. 

The three little Lords and pompous young Mr Everett, grabbed him each by one limb and threw him into the lake like a dead body, at about ten feet from the shore. Hamish tried to reign his body in and fall as painlessly as possible. He planned on holding his breath to his own 2 minutes, 57 seconds record and swim to the opposite shore, but halas, they had other plans for him. Willoughby lifted him out of the water and over his head like a prize, one hand in the small of his back and the other grabbing the back of the collar of his jumper.

“I’ve got a fish! I’ve got a fish with my own bare hands!”

“It’s the ugliest and skinniest fish I’ve ever seen, Willoughby!”, yelled young Lord Bartholomew from the shore. Everett and Wilkinson laughed out loud and Willoughby started to walk them out of the lake. Then Hamish saw his chance. Willoughby’s arms started to tremble with the effort and his walk through the greenish lake water affected negatively his balance. Hamish kicked Willoughby’s shoulder, making his captor drop him on top of his own head, thus losing grip of his other subjection point and sending them both underwater as his knees yielded to the sudden change of weight distribution. Hamish set off towards the opposite shore but the noblemen teamed up to grab his legs and drag him to the camp, his head hitting all the rocks they could find on the way. 

“Look at this fucking peasant”, said Bartholomew as he kicked Hamish’s ribbs. Except with all the excitement of a hunt, his childhood speech problems came back momentarily, making him pronounce instead “pucking pheasant”, to which Hamish laughed feebly.

“A packing pheasant? Why would it be packing? They’re not a migratory species”, he said falteringly.

At the insult of their self-appointed leader by virtue of his net worth, the others started kicking his sides too.

“What a terrible accident, Blackwood! You decided to climb a tree and fell down into the lake, didn’t you? That’s a great explanation for your wounds”, provided Everett, eager to be accepted by the lords 

“Nobody has to know the truth”, added Wilkinson. “It would be disgraceful if they knew a senior trainee was beaten up by his juniors. It will be our secret”.

“A secret? I love secrets”

Hamish did not recognise the man’s voice, but he did not have much time to wonder if he was friend or foe because he unleashed hell in the blink of an eye. Not surrounded anymore, Hamish rose and limped to sit on the log he’d been occupying before his abduction. He reached for his glasses, but the lenses were wet and his clothes were of no use to wipe them off. Across him there was obviously a fight going on, but he could only make out a swirl the color of the candidate’s jumpsuit, and three pale forms being thoroughly beaten, shaken and dragged across the floor by it.

“Now, gentlemen”, said the swirl after a second or two of none of the noblemen trying to go for him. “I believe it was the founder of the famous Eton School in which you lot undoubtedly met and birthed this beautiful camaraderie, who said ‘Manners maketh man’. As proud Eton alumni, I am sure you want to honor that saying. But I also know that human nature is fickle and pride might be a hindrance more than an aide in this instance. That is why I give you two options: either apologise to Mister Blackwood here, or fuck off this grounds before I get sick of your disgusting entitled faces”.

The water on the glasses was clearing off, giving Hamish the chance to watch four wet and humiliated candidates to enter the service scramble up and run away to the mansion, thus extinguishing their chances to become a Kingsman agent. 

His savior —come on, Hamish, you are no damsel in distress—, his benefactor, turned to face him. He looked much younger than his prowess had suggested. He offered Hamish his hand, although Hamish’s was wet and muddy. 

“Sergeant Harold Hart”

“Pleasure”, said Hamish, shaking his hand. “I am Hamish Blackwood, Merlin’s trainee”.

“I know. Merlin sent me, I’m his candidate. He suspected you’d be in trouble”.

Hamish huffed, not sure if he wanted to laugh or curse, and shook his head. He looked at Hart, who was looking at him with an amiable, non-comitant smile.

“Thank you for your service, Sergeant Hart”, Hart nodded, and turned his head to look at the three miserable figures half running in the distance, probably starting to feel the cold of the dusk. His smile widened. Hamish shook himself out of watching his rescuer — again? Control yourself, Hamish, for fuck’s sake—, adjusted his glasses and picked up his book. The cover sleeve read “Basic guide to programming”. 

“It wasn’t the founder of Eton”.

“Pardon?”, said Hart looking back at him.

“Manners maketh man. It was one of Eton Headmaster’s who wrote it in a book of proverbs and sayings. He took it from Winchester’s School motto”, explained Hamish, making a point to not look at Hart for the whole evening, least his chest would explode. 

Hart’s expression was completely neutral, and Hamish had already failed in his resolution. He tried not to skirm under Hart’s scrutiny, and then Hart smiled widely, this time, somehow, more sincerely, and said:

“Well, thank you for that bit of trivia, Blackwood. Let me repay you with an advise. I fou are going to hide what you are reading, choose a plausible cover. Nobody would believe someone with your level in computer science would be reading a basic programming guide. What is it, actually?”

“Pride and Prejudice”, mumbled Hamish.

“Lovely book. I always identified with Darcy when I was younger, now I guess it was pretentious of me”

“Not at all”, said Hamish before he could catch himself. 

They both shared a look. It was the kind of look that films used to tell you those two characters were sharing a moment of mutual understanding and admiration, which could later evolve in a much more closer connection and intimate feeling. They both independently realised it was that kind of look, and they both self-indulged in it a few more seconds. Then Hamish huffed a small laugh again. 

“I lost count on how many times I read it. It’s my comfort book for when I’m sick or feeling down”

Hamish smiled and nodded.

“I lost my third copy some months ago, in the burning of my barracks. I wanted to get a new one before coming here, but Merlin didn’t give me the time”. Hamish’s heart swelled.

“I could lend you mine”.

“No, then you wouldn’t be able to read it”.

“We could read it together. I was just starting when they pulled me to the lake”, that was a big fat lie, and he knew it, and he was pretty sure Hart knew it. But Hart’s face lit up, He got up and brought a blanket. He wrapped it around Hamish wordlessly, and then set a fire. He sat back next to him and, after a while, he said. 

“Well, go on. There’s not much light left, and they’re coming to pick us up anytime soon, after the boys get to the mansion complaining”.

Hamish smiled, showing his crooked teeth and began to read.

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man…”

#fictober19 #kingsman #galahad #merlin #harry hart #galahad/merlin #merlin/galahad #metareferences #to Mark Strong's and Colin Firth's previous roles #mark strong #colin firth #mr darcy #pride and prejudice

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Tues 12 Mar

Louis promo marches on though it seems like today it was maybe all prerecorded and he got a day off, so that's nice, but no days off for me the fandom! Interview highlights: a random ball toss apparently lands on 28 and he tells us the 28th pic on his phone is Clifford in a kappa hat which is honestly just too much for me to unpack, I'm overwhelmed, also what a thing to talk about but not show us?! Rude! He calls dinosaurs big lads, an interviewer suggests literally every possible name for his fans except louies, WHY, Louis says Niall is the nicest guy in the world and reminisces about Kevin the pigeon and then says he doesn't like him anymore (Kevin not Niall), he talks about the bucket list video and confirms what we already know (it's a bucket list video), he did the most keepy-uppies of any guest ever to a particular radio show, some songs on the LP sound like 1D tunes, and he claims he just recently started liking candles which seems unrealistic given that band's bizarre candle obsession but okay.

Two Of Us charted at #43 after a single day of chartable sales which some think is terrific and some think is terrible, take your pick. Time will tell, but as Louis says, he's working on building momentum, so I'm pretty optimistic for the long haul here. Meanwhile it's making all kinds of other trending lists and playlists and getting added to station rotations apparently! Good things.

Meanwhile he spent his down time at the dentist, getting those teeth even more shiny white for more promo no doubt. The dentist posts that he shines inside and out, and she would know I guess after spending that time inside his mouth, and he posts of her that she treats you like family which you need when visiting "such a scary place as the dentist", aw our boy is scared of the dark and the dentist. He also says he will return to see her again when he is back in London which some felt was an odd thing for someone who supposedly lives in London to say.

Harry, also in London today, followed someone on ig that caused people to speculate that he might be buying a piece from the George Michael art collection or maybe even showing up at the exhibit, then a few hours later he showed up at the exhibit! A treat to see him after such a hrought, truly. Did he spend his down time getting some kind of magical fountain of youth treatments, perhaps bathing in the blood of virgins? He looks baby face fresh and shiny and pretty! His hair looks fabulous, his nails are pink and black and he is wearing a jumper that, I'm gonna say it, we last saw on Louis in X Factor footage. Maybe it's not the same one! But, like, it is.

During all of this, old unseen videos continue to pop up and multiply like the fans outside that Paris hotel- OT5 interviewed in Paris! A book signing! Narry MITAM promo footage! I don't know what is happening but KEEP IT COMING, next can we find the vault and liberate the missing 900 hours of This Is Us footage? I've got bolt cutters and a good lawyer!

Question- did the studio that posted about making the stop motion TOU lyric video also make the mysterious Just Like You video? It's been pointed out that style matches up, and it might explain why yesterday's post was quickly deleted but later reposted, as whoever made that previous video was clearly not allowed to talk about it, perhaps they belatedly realized they needed to check in before posting about this one too but then got the go-ahead?

Liam is back in London as well and attended a posh Vogue party (not that there's any other kind) at the National Portrait Gallery. He looks very dapper and nice, goofy pup Liam has been put back on the shelf for a bit in favor of fashion Liam, it seems.

Niall was namechecked in honor of national napping day, nice, and thanked by an Irish cystic fibrosis charity to whom he donated a guitar. He also had a cute exchange with Julia on Instagram.

#am i gonna make that dark and the dentist joke every time their dentists come up? YES #but in my defense who the hell would have thought it would happen more than once?? #Louis #Harry #Niall #Liam #two of us #two of us video #Clifford #Kevin the pigeon #candle direction #julia michaels #just like you #just like you video #edward enninful #Mary Lambert #Mary McCartney #RBB #George Michael #David kitson #kaleidagon #JulianBensoncff #keepy uppies = keeping a football up with your feet and knees /the number of bounces before it drops #12 mar 19

[thesportssoundoff]

“Need a video of Derrick Lewis critiquing the Wizard Of Oz” The UFC in Kansas Preview

The UFC comes to Wichita, Kansas for a relatively intriguing fight card! Every once in a while the UFC will book a venue somewhere and instead of giving it an ass card which you would explain for what the WWF in the 80s or 90s would call a B Town, they bring out a pretty compelling fight night on paper that goes entirely under the radar. We saw it when they loaded up for Norfolk, Virginia with Poirier vs Pettis, Matt Brown vs Diego Sanchez, Andrei Arlovsky and a loaded undercard. We saw it with Boise's card last year that had JDS vs Ivanov, Sage Northcutt and plenty other really good name fights. Now we get it here as Wichita gets JDS vs Derrick Lewis, Ben Rothwell vs Blagoy Ivanov, Curtis Millender vs Elizeu Zaleski and a host of fighters on the undercard who you've heard of like Omari Akhmedov, Tim Boetsch, Drew Dober, Tim Means, Marion Reneau, Anthony Rocco Martin and Louis Smolka. There's some damn good compelling matchmaking on top of that as well! This is my kinda show with WW violence and a heaping helping of big doughy guys throwing fists at one another. Also let's not forget this card starts at 8 PM so it won't take you into mid Sunday morning either. All in all, the UFC is giving Wichita a solid fight card worthy of your time.

Fights: 13

Debuts: Jeff Hughes, Grant Dawson

Fight Changes/Injury Cancellations: 1 (Daniel Spitz OUT,  Maurice Green IN vs Jeff Hughes)

Headliners (fighters who have either main evented or co-main evented shows in the UFC): 7 (Derrick Lewis, Junior Dos Santos, Blagoy Ivanov, Ben Rothwell, Louis Smolka, Beneil Dariush and Tim Boetsch)

Fighters On Losing Streaks in the UFC: 1 (Alex White)

Fighters On Winning Streaks in the UFC: 6 (Matt Schnell, Junior Dos Santos, Curtis Millender, Elizeu Zaleski Dos Santos, Anthony Rocco Martin, Sergio Moraes)

Main Card Record Since Jan 1st 2017 (in the UFC): 24-13-1

Junior Dos Santos- 2-1 Derrick Lewis- 4-2 Curtis Millender- 2-0 Elizeu Zaleski Dos Santos- 5-0 Niko Price- 3-2 Tim Means- 2-3 Blagoy Ivanov- 0-1 Ben Rothwell- 0-0 Beniel Dariush- 1-2 Drew Dober- 3-0 Omari Akhmedov- 1-0-1 Tim Boetsch- 1-2

Fights By Weight Class (yearly number here):

Welterweight- 4 (15) Heavyweight- 3 (7) Lightweight-  2 (14) Bantamweight- 1 (12) Featherweight- 1 (8) Middleweight- 1 (5) Women’s Bantamweight- 1 (2)

Light Heavyweight- (8) Women’s Strawweight- (6) Women’s Flyweight- (7) Flyweight- (4)

2019’s Records We Keepin Track Of:

Debuting Fighters (5-12): Jeff Hughes, Grant Dawson

Short Notice Fighters (5-5): Maurice Green

Second Fight (17-3):  Maurice Green, Dan Moret, Louis Smolka

Cage Corrosion (Fighters who have not fought within a year of the date of the fight) (4-7): Ben Rothwell, Omari Akhmedov

Undefeated Fighters (7-8):

Fighters with at least four fights in the UFC with 0 wins over competition still in the organization (1-3): Alex White, Matt Schnell, Tim Means, Omari Akhmedov

Weight Class Jumpers (Fighters competing outside of the weight class of their last fight even if they’re returning BACK to their “normal weight class”) (6-5): Matt Schnell

Twelve Precarious Ponderings

1- So what's next for JDS if he wins? I would've put a halt to JDS ever fighting for the title again after getting smelted by Stipe in May of 2017 but since that point he's beaten Blagoi Ivanov and Tai Tuivasa, both pretty emphatically. The Tuivasa one was particularly interesting since JDS got hurt, recovered and then finished him in the next round. It also helps that Miocic is pretty much missing in action right now and the new champion is a guy with one foot in the door and one foot out. Assuming the Brock situation doesn't pan out, JDS on a three fight winning streak might eek him over Ngannou. Now WOULD you do Ngannou vs JDS? They tried that previously and it fell apart with JDS getting caught up in one of those Brazilian tainted pill situations. Once cleared, it feels like a JDS vs Ngannou fight would make a lot of sense BUT if you needed a #1 contender on the fly for Cormier, who could you even rely on if Ngannou and JDS are tied up?

2- Derrick Lewis in the past has said that the guys who REALLY give him problems aren't the big tough wrestler types who take him down (Daniel Cormier being the exception) and it's the strikers who can throw down with him who give him problems because he doesn't fight well going backwards. Case in point guys like Matt Mitrione, Shawn Jordan, Mark Hunt etc etc. This is a rough ugly stylistic match up for him but I would not at all rule out Derrick Lewis.

3- Is Derrick Lewis beginning to be settle into a niche as a Cowboy Cerrone for HW? A popular dude who exists in the middle of the division who  is there to bolster up cards and occasionally pop a nice number as a headliner?

4- Elizeu Zaleski vs Curtis Millender should be five rounds. Don't give me any other measures.

5- Ben Rothwell hasn't fought since 2016 and I wonder if he's still a top 10 heavyweight. Rothwell's super limited athletically but he's got a surprising toolbox of things he can go to to pick up wins. He hits surprisingly hard, he doesn't panic in the face of pressure, his ground game is solid for a big guy and he's really durable. So can Rothwell still be a top 10 HW? For point of reference, Marcin Tybura and Aleskei Olynik are 9 and 10 in the top 10 currently.

6- Tim Means vs Niko Price is either a lock for 50K in some form or fashion or it'll be the blur nobody remembers the next day.

7- Maybe I watched waaay too much Victory FC but I really do like Grant Dawson as a potential prospect for the future. Dawson is just one of those guys from the Mid West who you can see having a big long term future with the right amount of matchmaking. Dawson's wrestling chops on their own combined with his quicks should give him a shot to make it pretty far in the UFC even if his striking needs a TON of work. We also don't necessarily know what he's gotten better at after a suspension in 2017 after signing his UFC deal. He has Julian Erosa which is a really interesting prospect vs regional level gatekeeper type fight.

8- I'm having a tough time getting a read on Rothwell vs Blagoy Ivanov currently. Rothwell's been gone obviously for quite a while and that, in turn, opens the door as to whether or not he's cooked. On the other hand, Ivanov looked pretty much out of his depth when he fought JDS in July. It's been said that he was hurt going into that fight BUT Ivanov was kind of developing into a clunky doughy guy down for the WSOF/PFL anyways. Ivanov also has some statistical crash padding here with a 17-3 record for fighters on their second fight so he's got "the odds" in his favor as well. Something tells me this one could be pretty ugly.

9- Keeping with second fight numbers, you've got Maurice Green back in action! It's a short notice call up and a rematch in a fight he lost BUT Greene is a big long HW who can cut it on the feet and has the sort of hips you don't see at HW to throw up triangles. He's coming off a win over Cuban HW Michel Batista.  Across from him will be Jeff Hughes, a Contenders Series guy who probably should've just been signed up to the UFC without any hurdles to jump.

10- Tim Boetsch vs Omari Akhmedov is going to be somethin'. I don't know WHAT but it'll be somethin'.

11- If Yana Kunitskaya beats Marion Reneau, how far away is she REALISTICALLY from a title shot. That'd be two in a row at 135 lbs after getting smelted by Cyborg in a division where Holly Holm is really the only fresh fight for Amanda Nunes. If Nunes is retiring at the end of 2019, does it make sense to just keep Yana away?

12- This is the first time since July that we've had back to back shows with fights at women's bantamweight. Do something with this division, man.

#MMA #UFC

[hbwbyniall]

Over You

Based in @mistlekissy anon and her prompt of choice.

Note: the cursive parts are “the past”

“I’m over you and you’re over me, so the fact that we’re kissing right now means nothing, but please don’t stop.”

*

Niall can’t really explain the situation. He's a little bit dizzy and has a few pints on him if he has to be honest, but he's not drunk so he can't blame the alcohol for what's happening right now. He wishes, though, because stumbling around your ex's apartment while kissing your ex is not a good idea. It doesn't matter how good it feels.

This wasn’t his plan for tonight. He had a date with this cute girl he’s been seeing a couple of times now and things were going well, he thinks. So when he noticed Harry in the same club they were, he decided to ignore him.  It was hard, he can’t lie, he hasn’t seen him since they broke up a little more than a year ago and it’s not like they ended up hating each other or anything, but he did break his heart.

The thing is, Niall thought they were meant to be. He knew the second he saw Harry the first time in a uni party, with his long hair, wide smile and those tight black jeans. He knew he was gonna fell hard and quick by how he felt when Harry scanned the room and his eyes laid on him, only to smirk right after and make his way to him. He was lost that night, but he found himself in him the three years after that, until Harry decided to move to America and ended things with Niall for both of their sakes.

So yeah, it hurt a little seeing him again in London and not knowing anymore the person drinking in the bar with a bunch of people he never met, it hurt more not knowing he was back and realized they were no longer part of each other's life. But Niall was okay. He has moved on. He has a great job and has a couple of good dates and some sort of a girlfriend, even though they haven't talked about it yet.  

Niall tried not to crossed paths with him the entire night and everything was fine until almost 2 am when he forgot about Harry and went down to the bar for some drinks. He thought he already left when he didn’t see him for almost forty minutes, so when he bumped into him right after ordering two more pints and one of those coloring drinks he froze.

Everything went downhill from that moment on for him.

“Niall?” He said, clearly surprised and Niall just tried to hide the fear of God from his face.

“Harry.” He remembers tried to smile. Everything is just blurry now, even if it was only half an hour ago.

Harry slaps him into the wall next to his door as he tries to find his keys somewhere in the pockets of those ridiculous pants. At least his preferences in his clothes haven't changed, only improve. Niall ignores the pain in his back only to lose his fingers in Harry's hair. It’s shorter than he’s used to, but he still pulls out feeling his cheeks get warmer when he hears Harry’s moan right into his ear so he covers it up with his own mouth, feeling incredibly proud.

Niall's hands go down his neck, his shoulders and grab onto his back, tighten up his shirt into his fist. Harry holds his weight by his ass, pressing him into the wall, making him feel his entire body in front of his.

“Oh God,” Harry laughed as he jumped on him, hugging him, “I’ve been wanting to call you! But you have a new phone, right?”

Niall felt his smile on his cheek and swallowed slowly, his hands were in the air over Harry’s back but not touching him, not knowing if that was a good idea. He finally did hug him when he realized Harry wouldn’t let him go otherwise, then he was positive it was a bad idea. His body still remembers him, still a bit bigger than his, still warm.

When Harry finally opens the door, he almost let Niall hit the floor. He laughs as he holds him from the waist and gives Niall a second to think things properly without the booze and the goosebumps from head to toes. He can’t even remember what he told Lyla or even if he said something to her before leaving the club with Harry’s hands in his pants after calling an uber.

Niall doesn’t know this place, which makes sense because before Harry left they lived together. Everything about their relationship was pretty quick from beginning to end, falling in love, move in together, break each other’s hearts and losing any type of contact. Niall thought it was better that way, it would help him get over him faster and even if his friends said maybe it was for the best, Niall could say they also thought Harry was it for him.

He can feel it again when Harry starts kissing his neck, just like how he used to feel every time they touched each other. It’s overwhelming.

“How you been?” Harry asked after ordering another drink for them, Niall’s pints and Lyla’s drink long forgotten. He had the same huge smile he used to convinced Niall to stay for a little chat

“Good. I’m fine, new job,” Niall answered swallowing the rest of the pint Harry ordered for him with a gulp. Maybe he wanted Niall to know he still remembers, maybe it was out of habit. Harry was about to talk, he had that spark in his eyes that Niall knew so well, he also knew that if he let him talk he couldn't escape him. “I’m also in a date right now so I should go back to her.”

“Oh.” His whole expression changed. His smile got lost and he’s looking elsewhere, messing up his hair. It's short now and it made him look so handsome. Niall should've probably stopped looking at him

“Yeah.” Niall smiled getting up, ready to leave without looking at him anymore. “It was really nice to see you, Harry. Don’t lose touch, okay?”

“Wait.”

His back hit the couch and Niall is starting to think he’s actually being punished by the universe, but Harry is already over him, taking his shirt off and putting his leg in between Niall’s when Niall’s sigh catches something else in the corner of his eye when he avoided looking at Harry’s torso.

It's a framed picture of them when they used to live together. They're having dinner with Gemma and Anne the first weekend after move in, it's around Christmas and they're wearing corny jumpers and holding hot cocoa. To the right is a picture of them with Louis and Liam in Harry's graduation, and to the left is just a picture of them, holding each other somewhere in London.

Niall holds his breath and it’s not exactly for feeling Harry’s hand under his shirt.

“Is that us?” He whispers, making Harry turn to the direction Niall’s looking.

“Of course is us.” He answers, slowly, lips over cheek as he kisses him, “You are a big part of my life, Niall. Why deny it?”

Niall nods, taking Harry by the head and putting his lips over his, kissing him with something else just discovered, something he can't name yet because he hasn't felt it before. His hands stumble into Harry’s pants, trying to take them off as he does the same with Niall’s shirt. Suddenly, all of this doesn’t feel so wrong anymore.

“This is a bad idea.” Niall’s voice trembled, trying not to look down at Harry as his body tried to recover. His hands were touching the dirty walls of the loo cubicle, forbidden himself of touching Harry's hair.

“Is it?” Harry smiled before kissing him again. “Let me take you home. For old times’ sake?”

"I'm over you," Niall says out of nowhere, he has his legs wrapped around Harry's waist and he's walking to – where Niall thinks it's – his bedroom.

Harry stops kissing his neck to look up to his eyes before breaking a laugh, he’s kissing his lips, taking a bit longer to make a point. Niall’s brain starts to melt again.

“Me too.” He answers, opening the door and not bothering in turning the lights on.

*

When Niall wakes up, everything is familiar. Harry’s hand over his hips, the cinnamon and pine sense on the sheets, his lips over Harry’s forehead and the feeling of peace that comes within the sunshine stepping into the room by the curtains in front of them. He takes a moment then, to breathe all in, looking at the ceiling and he lets himself feel Harry’s body over his, bare and warm, his breath on his neck, his fingerprints drawn in his waist.

So he does the only thing that he knows he has to do. He kisses Harry in the cheek and unwraps himself from his arms to sit in the bed for a couple of seconds, feeling Harry's hands dangerously close to his back so he stands up, looking at him for the last time and starts picking up his clothes from the floor dispersed in the flat. He dresses up as quietly as he can possibly can, takes his phone, wallet, and keys from the couch and then he leaves, gently closing the door.

It doesn’t hurt like the last time, but there’s something numb in the middle of his chest he doesn’t want to think about just yet.

#narry #narry prompt #narry fic #narry fanfic #fanfic #narry fanfiction #niall x harry #my writing #my fic #my fanfic #harry x narry #prompts #test

[wehelddarkness]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2018

The lovely @1diamondinthesun tagged me to do the annual writing self-evaluation! 2018 wasn’t my strongest year in writing, but let’s do this!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 

Eleven (two long fics and nine drabbles)

2. Word count posted for the year:  154.876

3. List of works published this year:

Tell The World We Finally Got It All Right 

Belting out sunlight, shimmering love - The Spring Drabbles series

Joy and fresh days of love accompany your hearts - The Summer Drabbles series

The leaves are ready to begin falling again, as I am for you  - The Autumn Drabbles series

Make Your Heart Remember Me 

4. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

5. Pairings: Harry/Louis

(putting the rest of the questions under the cut because it became a long post lol)

6. Story with the most…

Kudos / Bookmarks:  Make Your Heart Remember Me

Comments:  Make Your Heart Remember Me &  Tell The World We Finally Got It All Right (both have 27 comment threads)

7. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Although MYHRM is my longest fic this year and even though I’ve envisioned it for two years before finally getting a start on it and spending months working on it, I have to say I’m proudest of TTWWFGIAR. This fic is part of a series that I love with all my heart as if it was a child. @regulusarcblack​ and I have created such a wonderful world for Muggle!Louis and Wizard!Harry that just getting to write more of their story, no matter if it’s something small and silly, and no matter if people don’t even pay attention to it anymore, it will always have a special place in my heart. I’m very proud of how MYHRM turned out and for the amount of attention it got as well, but TTWWFGIAR owns my heart.

8. Work I’m least proud of (and why): It’s not that I’m least proud of them, but I don’t precisely have much emotional connection with the drabbles series. I’m proud of myself for managing to condense three stories the way I did, but as for the stories, they don’t hold a lot of meaning for me.

9. A favorite excerpt of your writing: 

I have two. 

One from TTWWFGIAR:

Louis fixed his still wet fringe over his forehead and closed his eyes for a second before he answered her back. “That’s a funny story, actually,” he laughed again, “I… we came back here.”

“We? Who’s we, Louis? I’m sure it’s not Lottie because she came back yesterday morning and she was just as lost on where you’d be as I was.”

“It’s Harry.” He decided to cut to the chase and just spill it out. As soon as he spoke he opened his eyes again to see Harry walking inside the room, a white towel around his middle just like the one Louis had on himself, and a smirk on his lips.

It took a moment for his mother to speak again. “Harry? Is… he there now? With you?”

“Yeah, he is.” Louis watched as Harry got the sweatpants and jumper he had conjured for himself the day before and started getting dressed.

“And are you going to explain to me how and why he’s there with you?” Jay wasn’t demanding anything and Louis could sense she was feeling more relaxed to know that new piece of information. “I mean, I’m not mad that you’re there with him. I’m just confused, love, that’s what. What happened?”

Harry looked back at Louis when he finished dressing himself and was putting his hair up in a bun. “Is that your mother?” There was a small frown on his brows as he walked closer to where Louis was sat on the bed.

Louis nodded, mouthing a “yeah” and quirking his lips into a smile.

“Do you want the short or long story?” He talked back to his mother as Harry approached him, his eyes not leaving Louis’ as he softly ran his fingers through Louis’ hair.

“I’m gonna go make breakfast while you talk to her, okay?” He moved his hand down to Louis’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb.

“Okay,” Louis murmured before turning his face a bit to leave a gentle kiss on the inside of Harry’s palm.

He saw Harry’s eyes soften with the gesture and scrunching up his nose as he leaned down to kiss Louis on the cheek before he turned around to leave.

And from MYHRM:

“Dad?”

Harry hears Lily’s voice very low before he can focus his vision on his daughter in front of him. It’s still dark but he can see her sleepy face yawning as she looks at him.

He startles himself a bit, forgetting for a moment where he is. Then, it hits him as he feels an arm around his middle and the press of Louis’ body behind him as they’re lying on the couch. He doesn’t remember when they decided to move from their sitting positions and sleep right there.

Louis’ breath is serene on Harry’s neck and he smiles at himself before he speaks to Lily.

“Yes, petal?”

“I woke up to go to the bathroom and you weren’t in the bedroom with me.” He sees her rubbing her eyes with one hand. “Can I sleep with you and Louis here?”

Harry wants to laugh because Lily could’ve asked him to go back to the bedroom with her, but the fact that she wants to sleep there, on a sofa that barely fits Harry and Louis together, only warms his heart.

He’s too sleepy to say no or to reason that he should really get up and move to the room and also wake up Louis, or even to think about what Lily has made of him and Louis sleeping together like that. So he simply squirms a little closer to Louis to give Lily some space, opening one of his arms so she can lie there and snuggle up to him.

“Goodnight, dad,” she says against his neck and Harry kisses the top of her head as he tries to get comfortable again to sleep.

“Night, petal.” He closes his eyes and just before he can allow himself to rest again, he feels Louis kissing the back of his neck and moving his arm from Harry’s waist to hold not only him, but also Lily in one embrace, intertwining his fingers with Harry’s over Lily’s middle.

This is the happiest he’s been in a long time, and it doesn’t matter that they are all cramped on Louis’ couch or that he and Louis haven’t actually talked about them and their future. But if the future involves more nights like this, with the two people he loves so much, then he truly can’t wish for anything better.

10. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

I didn’t get many reviews on my works this year, but I have to say @derekhaleace’s thorough comments on MYHRM really lifted my mood! @doctorrainbows’ comments on TTWWFGIAR too (Rosie I miss you <3)

And I want to add one that was not my favorite, but it gave me a lot of perspective on MYHRM:

“Good story idea but written with too much decriptions and info ended up skipping a lot of the story.”

This comment really made me laugh out loud, not in a bad way though, but because this was exactly how I was feeling and why I struggled so much with that fic. I wasn’t content on how I was writing it because it felt like I was dragging the story. I was writing and writing and the number of words only kept growing and I felt like I wasn’t advancing on the plot. I took this as a constructive criticism and I know some people have validated me saying that for them the story didn’t feel like that, or others saying that the amount of description was just enough... So, yeah, I know it’s matter of like, but it helped me to be more critic about my own writing.

11. A time when writing was really, really hard: This whole past year tbh? first it started with the fact that I got a serious pain on my right hand, I didn’t know if it was tendinitis or what, so I went to the doctor, did physiotherapy for about 2 months? and in the end the end the only thing that helped the pain was arthritis medicine lol so for MONTHS I couldn’t write properly because if I forced my hand, it would be worse, that’s why I kept doing the drabbles challenge, because 100 words each was easier than trying a full fic. Then in august I finally started writing MYHRM, but it took me longer than I planned because of writer’s block and lack of motivation and a lot of self-doubt about my writing, so it wasn’t easy either :/

12. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you: That’s a hard question, but probably Lily from MYHRM. I had already written a kid fic before, but it hadn’t been like this, because this whole fic focused on the interaction of Harry and Louis with Lily and I wasn’t sure how I would write her, and I needed to remind myself not to forget about her haha In the end, I think I did a pretty good job, her personality is so precious and I love her.

13. How did you grow as a writer this year: I think I stopped caring too much about people paying attention to my fics? It was something that always bugged me, expecting more people to read them, finding them in fics recs and so on. Obviously, I still want people to read them, but if only a few people read notice the and enjoy them, that’s what matters, and mostly, that I’m happy with how my fics turned out.

14. How do you hope to grow next year: I hope to keep writing more for myself, keep thinking of stories that I have fun writing and reading and care less about making it to the famous author’s niche in the fandom. Maybe also try to have some of other ideas I’ve had for other fandoms come to life, who knows.

15. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: As always, @regulusarcblack who has to listen to my ramblings, even if she’s already sick of them lmao but she’s the one I seek when I’m writing and she always helps me put my idea in place. But I also have t give a HUGE shout out to @britpickerhl for sticking with me for another year, for dealing with my dumb mistakes, for having so much patience with gdocs and me, but mainly for helping me improve my writing and being my cheerleader!

16. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I never know, because I’m not a person with much experiences, so there isn’t much to include in my fics lol I think I reflect some of my personality when I write Harry, but that’s it. And I’m a hopeless romantic and sap and fluff hoe, so that’s what my fics end up looking like hahaha

17. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Keep writing for yourself and for the people you know who enjoy your work and try not to feel down if you are overlooked by the fandom. If you are happy with your story, that’s what matters. Also, try venturing to other pairings and fandoms, don’t stick to only what you are familiar with (not only regarding writing but also reading), it will give you a broader perspective of how readers and fandoms work.

18. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting or finishing in the new year: I’m writing a wip, which I can’t talk much about yet, but I’m quite excited about it because it’s been incredibly easy for me to write and I’m having so much fun with it, so I hope to kick off 2019 with this one in a good place about my writing!

19. Tag writers whose answers you’d like to read: I don’t know who has already done it lol so I’ll tag @mediawhorefics @emperorstyles @louisalbumnow @hrrytomlinson @hogwartzlou @tofiveohfive if you haven’t and want to do it!

#i read last years evaluation and i have to laugh lmao #anyway #here's to a better 2019 in writing #my writing #writing evaluation

[jessestjamesnyc]

Para: Realizations Pt 2

TAGGING: @nycjessestjames & @dariuspuckerman

LOCATION: Jesse’s apartment

DATE: Sunday Oct. 6th, evening (later in the day than Part One)

SUMMARY: Post birthday weekend events, nsfw material

STATUS: Finished

Darius: No matter how much of a good time they always had together, taking Gabriel back to his mom was painful. Three days were never enough, but it was all he had. For now. He was delighted to hear his son going on and on about how much he had enjoyed the play, but it didn’t take long before he had fallen asleep in the back seat, so he had to pick him up and give him to his mom. He waved goodbye and got into his car. Another Sunday was over. Almost three hours after they had left the theater he was walking out of his favorite italian grocery store in town, with a bag on one hand and a six pack beer in the other. A crazy idea had been swimming in his mind ever since he set wheels back in town, and before even realizing it, he was putting it down on a text for Jesse. “Hey. I was wondering if tonight is too early to take you up on that invitation.”

Jesse: Jesse was leaning against the counter in his the kitchen of his new apartment, lamenting how empty it felt currently. The couch had apparently been delivered while he was out - he assumed Chelsea had still been home since there it sat, in the middle of the otherwise empty living space - so at least he’d have somewhere to sit and stare at … well, nothing. He’d spent the last few months moving on from his marriage, but the last and final push he needed was to just break free of the things that had once been “theirs”. Starting with the apartment, yes, but all the furniture as well. He’d sold or given it all away and now the new stuff was being delivered slowly. The boxes they’d carted across town sat piled in the spare room (soon to be the nursery) and some in the other rooms as well. But for the most part, it was an empty slate. He felt his phone buzz and sighed, taking it out, assuming it was Louis or Chelsea. When he saw Darius’ name pop up he clicked on it maybe a little too fast, and read over the text. He… oh. Yes, he did invite Darius over. He distinctly remembered feeling awkward about it. He glanced back up, looking at the empty apartment and wondered what the hell he’d even have to offer him to do. But he didn’t want to say no. He knew Darius hated having to drive to drop his son back off and see him go, and truthfully - he didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to spend more time with the man. There was just something about him, that made Jesse want to know him better. He looked down at himself, in sweats and a light jumper and shrugged to nobody, typing a quick reply. “Not at all. But I have to warn you, my apartment is pretty boring right now since we only moved in yesterday. So if you don’t mind an empty apartment, and boxes piled up, then you’re more than welcome”. He sent it, then realised he didn’t even tell Darius his new address (not that he had his old one), so he quickly added it in a second message.

Darius: Darius stared down at his own message for what it felt forever and sighed. What the hell was he thinking asking Jesse to go over to his place?? It was too soon, it was definitely too soon, and the other would now probably freak out over it and go into silent mode for days. He smacked the steering wheel and dropped his phone onto the seat beside him, and he was starting his car up when the reply came. At first he was apprehensive to read it but he did it anyway, and a smile came upon his face when he read it. Almost as giddy as a teenager boy (huh?!) he quickly typed his response after also reading the address. “I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’m quite adjustable, haha. Hey, that’s almost near the theater! See you in a few!” He put the phone and drove off down the street, then turned to the left to go the way he needed to go.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled at Darius reply, setting his phone down on the counter. Yes, his new apartment was close to the theatre by design. Ultimately, he wanted to save as much money as possible and that - combined with his share of the sale of their old apartment - would allow him to buy an apartment in the future. But apartments in New York weren’t cheap, but he and Rachel were very fortunate to have been able to purchase an apartment when they did. He debated getting redressed, but he doubted Darius would mind all that much… he was pretty sure it would be weird if he was still in his clothes from earlier. So he stayed in the sweats and jumper, waiting for the buzzer to go off so he could buzz Darius upstairs.

Darius: Darius did a double take on his phone when he stopped by what he believed was the right building, and after making sure he got it right he parked the car properly and grabbed the bag and the beers before locking it up and headed up the steps that led to the main entrance. He pressed the button to the apartment on the panel and waited.

Jesse: When Jesse heard the buzzer he jumped a little, despite expecting it, and pressed the okay to allow Darius to come up. He opened the door as Darius knocked on it, and stepped aside, “Sorry about the apartment. Wasn’t kidding when I said it’s a bit… well, pathetic at the moment. Except my sister’s room, she decked that out. She’s staying with me for the time being. Though she’s not here right now. Not that … uhh, come in?” He realised he was still standing in front of the doorway and stood aside so Darius could actually walk in. “I wasn’t really expecting to hear from you tonight,” he admitted, shutting the door closed behind Darius.

Darius: Darius quickly fixed his jacket and hair before knocking on the door, then as he saw and listened to Jesse while he stood on the middle of the doorway he chuckled, then nodded. “Okay, thanks! He took that one step inside and looked around. "Don’t apologize. It’s to be expected when you’ve just moved.” He turned on the spot when Jesse closed the door and shrugged. “I… wasn’t planning on taking you up on that offer so soon either. But I was walking out of Nico’s Deli, only like my favorite italian grocery shop in the city, and figured this was way too good to eat alone. Not… that… I don’t usually eat alone, because I do, but I-” He sighed. “- I didn’t feel like being alone. Don’t know why. Anywayyyy-” He handed him the bag. “There’s prosciutto and some cheese in there, also bread and grapes. And this-” He shook the six pack beer in front of Jesse and chuckled. “So I figure we could eat this on the floor, japanese style, if it comes to that, and I still wouldn’t mind.”

Jesse: Jesse pressed his lips together to suppress a smile and took the bag from Darius. “It’s fine, I know all about not wanting to eat alone. And it sounds delicious… I’m not normally a beer drinker, but I’ll take you up on that. Oh, I have a couch!” He said, sounding pleased for a moment and then realised that the couch in question was still covered in the packaging, “it’s just… well, it only got delivered today and I wasn’t home to unpack it. We can pull all the packaging off and test it. Or I can just get a blanket to sit on.”

Darius: Darius chuckled. “I can help you get the plastic off, but I don’t know you all that well to know you won’t freak out about us eating bread and cheese on it, especially when it’s brand new. But the way I see it, it should be used at some point, right?”

Jesse: Jesse shrugged, “I don’t mind about that. You don’t seem like someone who’s going to drop it all over the couch so it’s fine.” They made quick work of the plastic on the couch, revealing the soft fabric underneath. Jesse never liked leather couches and with this one being a pull out bed for guests as well, they’d opted for fabric, but not suede. “See, easy.” He piled the plastic and Styrofoam up in the corner.

Darius: Darius sat down on the couch while Jesse took the plastic away, carefully placing the food on top of the paper bag he had brought it all in, at least until Jesse would see if he had a cloth, or even a tray they could use. He pulled two cans of beer and left them within reach for when they would be needed.

Jesse: Jesse grabbed a box that was full something, and a tea towel, and set up a makeshift coffee table for them to use and put everything on. Since the box was full it wasn’t likely to cave in. “If Sirius starts whining I’ll let him out of Chelsea’s room, but he was asleep earlier so I just shut the door.” He paused, then realised Darius probably didn’t know who he was talking about, “Sirius is Chelsea’s dog. He’s a good dog, but he’s only a puppy and since he was asleep, I figured he’d be fine in there.” He reached for the beer and cracked the seal. “So you dropped Gabriel off?”

Darius: Darius laughed and nodded. “I kinda figured that one out, otherwise I’d be concerned as to why that Sirius dude would be locked up in there. Is your sister a Potterhead? Hence the name?” He fixed the plate with the cheese on top of the box Jesse had put out, also placing the prosciutto plate on it.

Jesse: “This looks really good,” Jesse commented, “I can understand why you didn’t want to eat alone. And mmm, she is. His full name is actually Sirius Black. She shouldn’t have got him, not really. She moved in with me after the whole thing with Rachel blew up, and she had a fight with her roommate… but my old apartment building didn’t allow dogs and then one day she just comes home with a dog. It was a paperwork nightmare, but they let her keep him only because we were moving out shortly after. Shortly after became a bit longer but you know, we’re here. And close to the theatre district, like you said. Couldn’t quite afford to buy before the sale went through, so this is just temporary hopefully.” He reached forward and took a piece of the cheese, “I’m kind of surprised you messaged me though. I would have thought you would have messaged Louis,” he said, trying to keep the hint of jealously out of his voice because that shouldn’t be there.

Darius: Darius fashioned himself a mini sandwich with some prosciutto and cheese. “This place is nice, I like it. And can’t better with it being close to where you work. Gotta appreciate that in a traffic crazy city such as this.” He handed one of the beers to Jesse and opened one for himself, then shrugged. “Your invitation was the first thing that came to mind, I suppose. Maybe it was just the fact that we practically spent the day together, who knows.” He smiled and shook his head. “Nah… I’m sure he had his own stuff to do.”

Jesse: Jesse nodded and glanced around, “I do too. I like the arches, I’ve always thought they were a nice touch. Different, you know? Everything is the same nowadays. Which is fine, they’re nice but…” He shrugged, “I don’t know, if I’m going to stay somewhere - even temporarily - I may as well like right, right?” Taking a drink of the beer, he gave a forced smile, “maybe so. He always talks about you though. He did say you were - and I quote - 'bummed out we didn’t go to that theatre thing’. So I’m sorry. I didn’t want to postpone it, but Chelsea ended up in hospital and it was a complicated weekend. I’m glad we got to go today though. It was … ” He paused, rolling over the piece of prosciutto in his hand, “fun. To spend time with you.” He then added, perhaps a moment too long after, “and Gabriel. He’s a great kid, you’ve raised him really well.”

Darius: Darius snapped his head up a little faster than he would have liked. “Oh. So you think you maybe moving again soon?” He chuckled and shook his head. “That kid, sure likes to exaggerate things” he said, while also making a small mental note about not telling Louis intimate stuff again, since they seemed to be in danger of getting spilled out. “You had more important things to do, and I get that. Family comes first for me too, no matter what, or who.” He took a sip of his beer, then as he put it down again he looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah, we liked it too. In a way, it was the perfect way to end my birthday week, which I didn’t think would amount to much at the start of it, to tell you the truth.”

Jesse: Jesse shrugged, “I don’t know. Renting an apartment isn’t really a long term goal, but I don’t think I’ll be moving again that soon. Chelsea and I are planning on doing the nursery and Rachel isn’t due until January. But it’s nice to think about buying another apartment, down the line, you know? Like I don’t look around this place and think forever, but I think it’s perfect for now. Even if now turns into a couple of years.” He couldn’t help but nudge Darius’ shoulder with his own, “see, maybe it all worked out. Instead of just being alone, you get to spend the end of your birthday week with me. And I’m amazing company,” he winked at him, with a laugh.

Darius: Darius nodded, while making himself another mini-sandwich. “Yeah, I get that. I mean, I’ve lived at my place for several years now, and I’ve grown used to it, but next one I buy will be the one to stick, I know it. Bigger, possibly a house, where Gabriel can play around a big backyard, and where I can teach him to shoot hoops one day. I already am, but it’ll be nice not to have to walk over to the street court every now and then to practice, but instead having it at your own place. That’d be cool.” He chuckled. “Yeah. You are quite… an interesting one. Uh- interesting company, I mean. Like I said, it beats spending the evening alone.” He smiled, albeit a bit sad, as he looked down on his lap.

Jesse: “A house would be amazing,” Jesse admitted, picturing a future son or daughter running around and playing like Darius was talking about with Gabriel, “but I don’t know how far I could live from the city with my work. But I think things will be different, when I have a child. The way you talk, I feel like it is.” He noticed Darius looking down and his smile slipped a little, “is interesting your way of saying boring? I know lately I haven’t exactly been the most exciting of company.”

Darius: Darius nodded. “It changes everything, man. If just knowing about felt like it, you can’t even imagine when that moment actually comes, and you’re holding that tiny piece of your own body in your hands, maybe even just one hand because it’s so small… It really gets to you.” He stopped talking when he realized the sting in his eyes and he quickly cleared his throat and drank a good sip of his beer to push it down; he then looked at him and chuckled. “God, no! You’re anything but boring. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone… like you-” He fidgeted with the can in his hand, then frowned. “What’d you mean about  that? You’re talking about the way you feel about the Rachel and Quinn thing? It’s not like you weren’t in the right, you know-”

Jesse: Jesse smiled through Darius’ talk about Gabriel, and he couldn’t wait to have that with his own child, even if the situation was arguably complicated. He shrugged, “yeah. I sort of moped around for awhile but honestly, the first time I felt human after Rachel told me about her and Quinn was when I went to Sassy Nights that time, and you made me a drink and some food. I really needed to get out of the house and it kind of forced me to. And you… I don’t now.” He gave Darius a studying look, “I wanted to get to know you better. For that one night, I sort of forgot about Rachel and the whole situation. And it’s been months now, and I’m doing really well. I’m still pissed off, and I wish she hadn’t gone about it that way, but I’m not pining I guess you could say, for lack of a better word. Her loss, right? She’s happy with Quinn - something I can’t avoid seeing and hearing about - why the hell shouldn’t I be allowed to be as well?”

Darius: Darius smiled. “Oh yeah, I remember that night. I never get thaat close or personal with someone when they go in there, you know? I figure that’s the bartender’s job, to hear about someone’s crappy day and all that. But yours was more than a crappy day. You had a broken heart…, soooo… you needed my special sandwich!” He chuckled, then looked down and shrugged. “You never really get totally over a love like that. It only just gets easier, and your heart learns to live with that. And yes, you deserve to be happy, and so does she. Shit happens, dude, and you just get to move forward.” He patted his arm. “That’s right! Her loss will be someone else’s gain.”

Jesse: Jesse laughed, “special sandwich? You make it sound like you spit in it. But I saw you make it, so I know you didn’t do that. And it helped. So thank you.” He downed the rest of his beer in one go, making a face. Now he remembered why he generally stuck to wine. Specifically, red. Though he supposed if he was making a fresh start, trying something different would hardly go astray. And the beer wasn’t bad, it was just something he wasn’t used to. “You talk like you have experience with that. I go back and forth, honestly. There are days when I think I’ll never be over her, and then there are days where I just want to - I don’t know - grab somebody’s face and kiss them and screw everything.”

Darius: Darius put on a serious face and wiggled his finger up. “No no, a magician never reveals his secrets.” He laughed softly, then nodded. “That was the idea” he said, then as Jesse kept on talking and looking elsewhere, he took on his profile. The perfect curve that descended from his forehead, down his nose, and to his lips. His lips… Darius’ tongue flicked over his own a bit, just as he caught Jesse going on about kissing someone, and he snapped himself back to reality and swallowed hard before he talked again. “For me, it took me a while. I thought I’d never find love, or be happy without her. I guess that’s what a teenage love does to you, you think the world will end when it’s over. And Helen- that’s her name, Gabriel’s mom… she was something. But hard as it was I did it anyway.” He chuckled awkwardly, then rubbed the back of his own neck. “That’s usually a good place to start. You know the saying, you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince, or princess.” His teeth gnawed sslightly on his lower lip, while his stomach was making the strangest flips, and he quickly downed the rest of his beer  in one go.

Jesse: Jesse turned to face Darius properly now, propping himself up on one elbow as he looked at him. “I’m sort of over the frog analogy, somebody decided to allude that I was Rachel’s frog and Quinn was her prince… or princess, I suppose. But you’re saying that if I felt like kissing someone - I should just do it?”

Darius: In just one split second, Darius found himself looking right back at Jesse when he said that. “I… don’t see why not? Besides, it’s not only she who got to find her princess. Everyone can… or so I hope, because I’m also looking for mine.”

Jesse: “Okay,” Jesse said, nodding. And maybe it was because he hadn’t had beer in a long time and it was affecting him more than wine was. Or maybe it was the fact he was in his new, unfamiliar apartment. Or maybe it was just Darius himself. But no matter what the reason, he found himself leaning forward more, moving his hands up to Darius’ face, before leaning in pressing his lips against Darius. It was the briefest of kisses, as everything hit Jesse at once. The first person he’d kissed - outside of the stage, of course - in… god, he didn’t know. He wanted to do it again, but honestly, he didn’t even know if Darius… god, he’d said moments earlier he was looking for his princess. Or it had sounded like that. And then Jesse had just kissed him. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I just… you were saying… and then … ” He looked away, biting down on his lip in annoyance at himself. Now he’d probably just messed up the one decent friendship he had been making, outside of his family.

Darius: The moment Darius saw Jesse leaning towards him he felt his whole boddy freezing on the spot, but then when he cradled his face like that it was like a forest fire had suddenly begun inside of him, all the way up to his neck and face. “Jes-” he was barely able to whisper just as their lips touched, and white flash hit behind his eyelids as they fluttered at the brief, warm kiss. And just like that, it was over. A long, deep sigh fell off his lips as Jesse looked away, clearly riled up for what had just happened. “I know what I was saying” he said quietly, then held onto Jesse’s hands on his face before he could move them away. “-and I stand by it” he added, then it was him the one who leaned over and pressed their lips together again, with equal gentleness, but this time letting it linger a couple seconds more.

Jesse: Jesse was all ready to get up, his body ached to start pacing, start apologising, start … he supposed 'freaking out’ would be the most accurate term for it. But Darius covered his hands before he could move and he stared into the man’s eyes that was in front of him.  His mouth opened in surprise, but then Darius was returning the kiss, or kissing him again, this time longer. It was suddenly too much, and not enough at the same time. Part of him was telling him to stop now, before he got carried away, and another part of him was saying don’t stop. And he ignored the first, figuring screw it. Maybe he was done with moping about. He probably should have hesitated at the thought of 'maybe’ but instead he shifted closer to Darius and - when the other didn’t pull away - parted his lips slightly in an invitation to deepen the kiss.

Darius: Even if it was what he wanted, and what he definitely didn’t want to stop, some of the still functioning part of Darius’ brain braced itself  for the moment when Jesse would freak out and pulled away from him… But that never happened, instead only the soft warm of his parted lips, the moist tip of his tongue picking out shyly for him to taste, and he let his hands slide to the back of his neck, his head tilt to the side to make their lips fit even better. A soft moan escaped his lips when also the armth of their pressed bodies rose between them.

Jesse: Jesse groaned, the alarm bells in his head finally shutting up for a second as his body melted into the deepening of the kiss. He moved swiftly to straddle Darius and … okay. That was new. He’d really come to terms with his bisexuality in college so he had made out with a handful (okay, two) men back then but this still felt different. Back then it was at college parties, alcohol and people everywhere. And it had been years ago. He was nearly 30, and he’d been at college when he was 18 for barely a blink of an eye. So this was different, this felt real. Darius wasn’t Rachel. Darius wasn’t a woman. Darius’ stubble rubbing against his face was a reminder of that and if he’d ever been unsure of his bisexuality before now, he could safely say he was pretty confident now. Because all he wanted right now was more.

Darius: Darius grunted, his body reacting to everything that was happening: the way Jesse’s tongue rolled with his own, tasting, sucking. Exploring. He gasped against his lip when suddenly he felt him sat in his lap, his hands now moving down the man’s chest, then around his waist and on his buttocks, where he merely let his hands rest, their kiss equally hungry, even more now with Jesse’s ass pressing his crotch. “Fuck… You’re so hot…” he was barely able to breathe out between kisses, his teeth tugging slightly on Jesse’s lower lip.

Jesse: Jesse had to switch the thoughts running through his head off in that moment. There was practically a neon flashing sign telling him this was a bad idea, that maybe he wasn’t ready for this. But if he wasn’t, why could he not bring himself to stop. God, the last time he’d been intimate with somebody like this would have been… well, when Rachel got pregnant, he supposed. It wasn’t exactly hard to pinpoint the exact day that happened. Maybe that should have the first warning sign there. Darius’ words snapped him out of his thoughts and he smirked at him, his lips brushing over the other man’s. “I know,” he replied, not being able to resist rolling his hips down, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

Darius: Darius chuckled breathlessly at Jesse’s words, his eyes rolling to white when he felt the weeight of his body pressing down on him, to which he couldn’t stop himself from pushing his hips up in response. “Of course you do… You fucking do…” He licked Jesse’s lips teasingly before he captured his lips again, his hands now slipping under the hem of the man’s shirt so he could feel the bare skin under it. “You’re sure of this…?” He opened his eyes and looked right into Jesse’s eyes, his own words only then being processed in his brain.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled at Darius’ reply, because of course he knew it. Why would he deny it? Be ran a hand through Darius’ hair, bringing it down to cup his face, feeling the stubble under his hand. When he felt the other man’s fingers graze his skin, he couldn’t help the soft moan that slipped from his lips but then the next words from his mouth snapped him back to reality. He pulled back and looked at Darius, “I’m sure I don’t want to stop. I want to do this. I mean, have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re fucking gorgeous. But,” he hesitated, “I’m not looking for a relationship,” he admitted because Darius was a good guy and it wasn’t fair to him to not say anything with the opening he’d just given him. Fuck, Darius looked so good and he just wanted to lean back in and kiss him, but he had to let Darius make the next decision.

Darius: Darius felt at first that perhaps it had been a mistake to ask that, but he needed to know. He was making out with a guy who not too shortly was in love with his ex-wife, maybe he still was. Maybe there wasn’t anything wrong about being a rebound, or a one time hook up for the night, but still it was best to know. He chuckled at Jesse’s praise and nodded. “Thank you. I try, you know” he said, then listened to what he said and nodded. “That’s fine with me. I’m not looking for one neither. I’m content with what we’re doing right now, and all the things I’ve been thinking about doing to you since the noment I met you. But that’s all. I take it you’re cool witj that too?”

Jesse: Jesse felt a wave of relief hit him when Darius replied. He knew it probably should have been said even before he kissed him, but at the least it was said before anything really happened. Now the air was clear and they both knew what the other wanted. He grinned and leaned in, “I am. Sounds like the perfect situation we have then.” He closed the gap between them again, not wasting anytime in deepening the kiss, wanting to get back to where they were. “What things? Tell me,” he said, lips against Darius’.

Darius: Darius looked up at him and grinned. “Perfect indeed” he whispered, just as their lips met,  his hands now moving to the front and tugging on the fabric. “For starters, I’ve been wanted to know what your skin tastes like under my tongue and lips…”

Jesse: Jesse lifted his arms up so Darius could pull his t-shirt off, not even caring when it was tossed aside. “By all means, don’t let me stop you,” he said with a grin, his own hands working at the buttons of Darius’ shirt, him still wearing the same shirt he’d seen him in hours before.

Darius: Darius licked his lips when he was finally able to see Jesse’s bare skin, his hands caressing his back as his lips pecked the spot on the hollow of his neck, while he left his arms down so that Jesse could dispose of his shirt more easy.

Jesse: Jesse made quick work of the buttons on Darius’ shirt, pushing it open and off his shoulders and arms, throwing it over the edge of the couch. “Fuck,” he couldn’t help but let slip from his lips at the sight of the toned muscles that he could now see. He couldn’t resist but run his hands over them, smirking at Darius, “so you work out, huh?” He grinned, leaning in to kiss him again.

Darius: Darius grinned when he saw the look on Jesse’s face. “I kinda have to. My work is more demanding that many people realize.” He chuckled, then pulled him down by grabbing the back of his neck and kissed him deeply again,  also slowly shifting underneath him so that he could lay Jesse on the couch with him on top.

Jesse: Jesse chuckled, admitting to himself he wouldn’t have expect Darius’ work to be demanding when they first spoke. He remembered making some snarky comment about having a business degree and managing a club. Obviously caught Darius’ attention somehow though, now they were here. He groaned when he felt Darius move them, his back against the couch (soft - a good choice, he made a note not to tell Chelsea how he knew) and Darius hovering over him. He cupped the back of Darius neck and pulled him back down.

Darius: Darius looked down at Jesse and smirked. The guy looked so damn hot laying on his back like that. He let himself being pulled down and captured his lips once more before he let his lips roam down his neck, his teeth scrapping softly on the surface of the skin there, his other hand moving down his chest and stomach, barely hovering over his crotch.

Jesse: Jesse gave a sound of annoyance when he felt Darius’ lips leave his, but stopped protesting soon enough when he felt them move down his neck. Feeling bold, he couldn’t resist his hands finding Darius’ ass, resting there. He licked his lips, rocking his hips up.

Darius: With his lips latched on the spot where th nck lost its name, Darius grunted when he felt the friction of Jesse pushing his hips up, then did the same, his whole lower body weight rocking his hips down with some mild rhythm that matched the other male’s, encouraged by the feeling of his hands resting on his ass. With one hand he undid Jesse’s pants enough so he could slip his hand inside, his fingers then brushing ghostly over the briefs on the shape of his member.

Jesse: Jesse sucked in a breath when he felt Darius loosen the drawstring on his trackpants, feeling the other man’s hand slide inside. God, he wanted this so bad but he was almost surprised at the lack of protest from his body or his brain. Maybe it was because he knew neither one of them wanted a relationship so there were no strings, but ultimately he always thought the first time he did anything after his divorce would be wrought with confusion. Even more so given Darius was a man and he hadn’t done anything - save for a couple of forgotten nights in college that were barely more than making out. But there was nothing confusing about this, he wanted it and he definitely didn’t want Darius to stop. “Fuck… please…” He rocked his hips up to meet Darius’ hand, closing the barely existent gap.

Darius: Darius smiled against the skin of Jesse’s throat, a small, barely visible red spot forming under his lips. “Please, what? Use your words. You’re always so witty and vocal, use that…” He chuckled softly, his tongue tracing the shape of the mark, while his hand gave a sfot squeeze to the lengt shape on his briefs.

Jesse: Jesse looked up at the ceiling and for a few moments, didn’t move or say anything. He just let the sound of their breathing be the only sounds in the room. “Fuck you,” he said, with a laugh and no heat behind his words. Darius was teasing him and it was driving him insane. “Please,” he started, with groan when Darius’ hand gave him a slight squeeze, trying to rock his hips up to him again, “you’re a tease.” He huffed, his hands still touching everywhere they could, “touch me, please.”

Darius: Darius chuckled. “Oh I’ll leave that to you… one day, some day…” He didn’t have any reaason to drag on any longer, no matter how much he loved the sounds Jesse made while begging for more . He moved his hand right under his briefs, his thunb gently swiping the tip before he closed his hand around his cock, stroking hom slowly at first.

Jesse: Jesse didn’t really register Darius’ words, knowing that whatever said was likely just being caught up in the moment. Because if he had been paying more attention, he wouldn’t have been sure what to make of the suggestion they’d be doing this again. There was no time to dwell though, with Darius’ hand wrapping around his cock and his hips jerked in response. He had almost forgotten what the touch of somebody else’s hand felt like, how better and different it was from his own. “Oh… fuck,” he groaned, hands gripping into Darius as he started to stroke him. “Wait… wait… I want - you too.” He reached between them, fumbling with the button of Darius’ trousers, while the other still stroked him.

Darius: Darius licked his lips, his hand slowly working up and down Jesse’s cock while his usually bright eyes looked darkened with the lust that now filled his body up, with seeing the man that had taken over his dreams at night lately, and to finally get to feel him in that way was more than just mesmerizing. He grinned when Jesse said he wanted to do the same to him, and he pushed himself up a bit to leave him space to undo his pants, all this without him missing a beat in the rhythm his hand had. With both their hands being where they were at the moment he leaned down and captured Jesse’s lips again, his tongue soon prying its way between his lips to reclaim that moist, warm feeling he liked so much.

Jesse: Jesse slid his hand under the waist band of Darius’ briefs as soon as he got his trousers undone. There was a moment when they shifted their bodies to get comfortable, but Darius never broke the rhythm of his hand on Jesse’s cock - damn him. When he finally got Darius’ cock in his hand, the sudden realisation hit him that this was the first time he’d had another man’s cock in his hand. In his college days he’d gotten off with exactly two other men, but it had been while they were drunk, and it had never been under the clothes. So here, in his new apartment, was the first time. And it was both overwhelming and exhilarating because after he got back together with Rachel, he’d always just assumed it was going to be a part of him he never got to explore. It took his brain just a couple of moments to catch up to the present, and he began stroking Darius, slowly at first before matching his pace. He groaned into the kiss, hoping the way was moving his hand was right - it was a different feeling, with somebody else’s and not his own. “Mmm… fuck,” he said, brushing his lips over Darius’ as their tongues slid against one another’s.

Darius: Darius gasped against Jesse’s lips when he first felt his hand closing around his cock, making him stop his own hand forjust half a second, then he looked into his eyes and grinned, his tongue swiping its way over Jesse’s lips, as his hips bucked into his hand, both of them now kind of laying half on top of each other  to be more comfortable. “Mm.. fuck, yes… ah…” He bit his lip down, his forehead pressed hard down on Jesse’s, their bodies now slowly getting into a steadyrhythm, marked by the movement of their hands.

Jesse: Jesse had to resist the urge to ask Darius if this was okay, judging by his reactions and body language it was. He’d honestly never thought he’d second guess himself as much as he was in this moment, though he supposed there was a first time for everything. Their bodies rocked together as their hands worked in a consistent rhythm but Jesse could feel the now slightly distant, but still familiar tug in his stomach looming already. It felt embarrassingly quick, but he chalked it up to the fact that a) Darius was a man, and this was new and different and b) he hadn’t had sex in months, and even before Rachel and he separated, their sex life hadn’t exactly been frequent.

Darius: Darius moaned and lowered his head, pressed it on Jesse’s shoulder, as his hips kept rocking down on the hand, his own one moving swiftly on the man’s erection, which he could already feel throbbing inside his fist. He twisted his wrist just right to give it the exact amount of friction and pull, his lips once again finding their way up Jesse’s neck, only  this time he used his tongue to trace a wet stripe all the way up to the spot behind his ear.

Jesse: Jesse gasped, his body writhing under Darius as the man flicked his hand in a way that was just enough for Jesse to reach the edge. “Oh… oh …. fuck,” he groaned, and for a second his hand on Darius stilled as his body jerked up into Darius’ touch as his climax hit him, waves of pleasure rushing over his body. But it was only for a moment, before his hand started stroking Darius again, swiping his thumb over the head of his cock.

Darius: Darius pulled away just enough so he could see Jesse’s face as he came, and it was gorgeous. So deep, and so hot at the same time. It somehow pained him to know maybe that was all they would do for the time being, but for now it was enough. He stroked him through his high, his hand moving a bit slower, just as Jesse regained his rhythm on his hand, lost for about two seconds when his climax hit. He grunted when he felt the slick dripping under the touch of his thumb, his lips pressing on Jesse’s one more time, almost swallowing all the breathless panting the other was doing. He managed to shift on top of Jesse again, his hips now fully moving as if he was fucking his hand.

Jesse: Jesse’s body thrummed with the aftershocks of pleasure, but all the while he kept moving his hand on Darius’ cock, trying to imitate what he knew he liked, while the other rolled his hips into it. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he couldn’t help but say, his voice breathless and almost in awe.

Darius: With his forehead pressed against Jesse’s, Darius looked right into the man’s eyes, grunting as he kept rocking his hips onto his hand. “I know” he said with a smirk on his face, just like Jesse had done a bit earlier, then moaned as he kissed him again, his body suddenly jerking as his hand continued to work him perfectly. He gasped against his lips, his own parted as he breathing became a low growl, then his body went rigid for one second, before he finally came in Jesse’s hand. “My god…” he breathed out, then he chuckled before he kissed him again, both of them now moving slowly through the final ripples of their climax, until they stopped and just laid there, still. “Fuck, that was hot… mm…”

Jesse: “Mmm,” Jesse hummed lazily in agreement, kissing Darius slowly. “It was.” He laid there, Darius still on top of him, and for a second he couldn’t believe he’d just done that. It felt… unlike him. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it even in the slightest. Neither one of them were looking for a relationship, and maybe it had been exactly what he needed. At least for now. “There’s, uhh, tissues on the counter there,” he said, after a few moments of quiet - only the sound of their breathing - had passed.

Darius: Darius turned his head to look where the counter was, then back at him and smiled. “That’s a good call” he said, then he pulled away from him and sat up straight, quickly grabbing the tissue box and handing a couple to Jesse and for himself, and after they were cleaned up and all tucked back in he looked at him and grinned. “So… How about another beer, hmm?”

END SCENE.

[maealbert]

Paranoid Finale // Spencer Reid

AU Character: Spencer Reid x Reader A/N: What is therapy? Part 1 Part 2 Master List @literallyprentissstwin @idkbutspencer @rawritsmolly @chocok22 @random-fangirl-issues @jubsvellasquez @superjazzee @srtaprieto @stilinskis-banshee @evrlonq @stanathanxoox @superhalsteads @itzmegaaaaaaan @ssagibbsgirl @gabriellewritermua @pansexual-and-a-geek @tippy06 @were-skye @powerpuffbubbles @trollitis

(if you ever want to be tagged in anything that I write, just ask!)

You shook your head violently as your muffled words came through the cloth that stuffed in your mouth. The chains dug into your wrists as you dangled from the ceiling. Louis’ chuckles filled the room as he stepped closer to you. You knew what was going to happen. Flashbacks of finding JJ after she was kidnapped by Askari filled your vision. The soaked sponge gripped by jumper cables dripping on the floor leaving a trail leading straight to you. Louis’ smile curved as his low, raspy chuckle emitted from his throat.

“You’ve been a bad girl..” He says pressing the sponge to your abdomen. “Now you know what happens when you try to escape.” He presses the sponge to your abdomen again, the shocks coursing through your body.

Veronica stood outside of the room, she cringed every time she heard your muffled cries. Silent tears falling down her cheeks. How could she have done something like this? She sold you out all because she didn’t want to get in trouble herself. She’s always been afraid of Louis. She didn’t want to be here anymore. Louis always hated women growing up. He moved to Milwaukee when he was released from prison at eighteen. Prison. No one has ever been to prison, at least not in the Miller family. Louis was the first. After their mother was outed by their father for having an affair, Louis wasn’t so forgiving. He saw women as disobedient, cheating, awful. He murdered their mother in cold blood at fifteen. But he wasn’t finished. Milwaukee was his new home. Not just his new home, but also his new hunting ground. Every woman he saw, he saw them as disobedient to their husbands and having affairs. He didn’t like that.

“She said...us..” You stutter. “What did she...mean...by that?”

Louis set the sponge down in the bucket of water before walking over to you.

“You won’t be the only one dying tonight.”

Spencer stared at his phone in his hands, just waiting for you to call again. This drive was going to be a long one from Quantico to Falls Church. He had an hour to spend in a car wondering if he’d find you alive or.. Or.. No, he refused to think of the second option. He is going to find you alive and he will make Louis pay.

JJ glanced over at Spencer. She knew he was scared. This isn’t the first time he’s been through this. But she’s gonna make sure that this is the last. She reached her hand over and grabbed hold of his. Lifting his head, he turns to look at her. “We’re gonna find her.” She says rubbing the top of his hand with her thumb.

His phone began to ring again. The same number that you had called from. “(Y/N)?”

“No..” Veronica sniffles. “But you must be Spencer..”

“I am.. Who is this?”

“My name is Veronica. I’m Louis’ sister. Please, you have to hurry. I don’t think (Y/N) can last much longer... I’m sorry..”

“Sorry? Sorry for what--” But the line was disconnected.

“Luke.” Spencer says. “Step on it. We’re running out of time.”

“Who was that?” Emily asks.

“Louis’ sister, Veronica.. She doesn’t think that (Y/N) can last any longer..”

The door opened again and you open your eyes. A small figure appears in front of you. Veronica. “Why are you here?” You say as you swallowed. Your throat was so dry it felt like you were swallowing the glochids of a cactus.

“He’s gone. And he won’t be back for a while.” Veronica says as she starts to unchained your ankles. “He knows that you’re dying. Your pulse is weak and you need help.”

“Ronnie?” Louis calls from downstairs.

“I thought.. I thought you said he left?”

“He did.. I’ll be right back.” Veronica leaves the room, leaving you alone in the room. You wince as you wriggle in the chains.

“I thought you were leaving?” Veronica says as she slowly descends the staircase.

“I was.” Louis says as he taps his fingers in the banister. “But.. I had other plans.”

“Plans? What plans exactly?” Veronica says folding her arms across her chest.

“I did some digging.” Louis says pushing off the banister and walking into a separate room. “Do you remember a certain man named Matt Hastings?”

“Louis, no..”

“Oh come on.” Louis says, a dry chuckle emitting from his throat. “What harm could it do?”

“Louis! You’re already killing her! Her body can’t take it anymore! You pull this stunt, you really could kill her!”

“And why do you care?” Louis says walking up to Veronica.

“Uh, one she’s a fed, Louis! And two, she’s innocent!”

“Innocent is an understatement.”

“Louis, you will be going away for a very long time for kidnapping a fed!” Veronica says slamming her fists on the table.

Sirens wailed outside, the lights filling the room. A growl leaves Louis’ throat as he grabs hold of Veronica. “Let’s go.” He says pulling her out of the room and down the hall to the back door.

“What about (Y/N)?! We can’t just leave her! She needs help!”

“I’m not going to prison again, Veronica! Now let’s go!”

“No! I’m not leaving her!” She yells as she runs back to the stairs. The door flies open and the team runs in.

“FBI.” Emily says pointing her gun at Veronica. “Put your hands where we can see them.”

Veronica shook as she raised her hands. “Please.. My name is Veronica...”

“Veronica?” Spencer says stepping forward. “You’re the one that called?”

Veronica nods her head. “She doesn’t have much time. She needs help.” She says before turning around and running up the stairs. Throwing the door open, she runs over to you. Your head hung low, your eyes were closed.

“(Y/N)!” Spencer exclaims as he runs over to you. Veronica unlocks the chains and Spencer catches you in his arms.

“Oh god..” Emily gasps when she enters the room.

Luke takes you in his arms and runs you down to the ambulance. Spencer stood in the middle of the room looking at everything. “This just brings back bad memories.” JJ says as she picks up the chains from the floor.

“I should’ve listened to her.” Spencer says as he stares at the spot JJ was standing in. “I should’ve stayed with her.”

“Spencer, this isn’t your fault.” Emily says as she walks over to him. “Quit blaming yourself. You’ve been blaming yourself the past two days and it’s time that you stop. We found her, she’s alive--”

“Barely!” Spencer exclaims. “She’s fighting for her life because I didn’t listen to her! I brushed it off like she was telling some kind of joke!”

“Spencer,” Emily says grabbing ahold of his shoulders. “She’s alive, and that’s all that matters.” She looks him in the eyes. “Got it? Now come on. We should get to the hospital.”

“No! Get away from me!”

“(Y/N), please. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“No, you did this to me! Get away!”

Spencer and Emily got to the room just as nurse came out of the room. “What’s going on?” Emily asks as Spencer rushes into the room.

“She thinks that I’m Louis. I’m going to go grab help and sedatives.” The nurse explains before rushing down the hallway.

Emily steps into the room to find you standing in the corner of the room. Your arms wrapped around your body, your head lowered as it shook from side to side. Spencer was slowly and carefully approaching you, his arms outstretched in front of him. “(Y/N), it’s me.” Spencer softly spoke. “It’s Spencer. I’m not going to hurt you.”

You keep shaking your head, not being able to look at him. “Stay away from me.. Please..”

“(Y/N), Louis can’t hurt you anymore. He’s not here, alright? It’s just me, and Emily.” Spencer says as he takes a couple steps closer to you.

“No! Stay away from me!” You shout pushing him away. He grabs hold of your arms and pulls you into his chest holding your arms to your chest. “No! Let go me! Let go of me!” You cried, tears falling down your cheek.

“(Y/N), it’s just me, relax. It’s Spencer. I’m here to help you.” The nurse comes back with a couple more nurses and the sedatives.

“Let me do it.” Emily says. “She needs familiar faces in order for this to work.” She takes the syringe from the nurse and slowly approaches you and Spencer. You lift your head to look at her. “Hey, (Y/N). It’s me, Emily.”

“Emily? Wha-What are you doing here? He’s going to be back. You have to get out of here.”

“No, no.. He’s not going back.” She says holding the syringe behind her back. “I promise he’s not coming back. You’re safe here. Spencer and I are right here.”

You turn your head to look at Spencer. His face becoming clear. “Spencer?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s me.” He says nodding his head. Emily quickly stick the needle into your arm. “We’ll still be here when you wake up, okay? It will only be us and the doctors. I promise he won’t be here anymore.”

Your eyes began to grow heavy, your body becoming limp. Spencer cradled you in his arms as he carried you back over to the bed. Laying you down, he covers your up. Emily exhales in relief as she sits down in one of the chairs by the window. The nurses came over to the bed and began to hook you up to monitors and inserting an IV into your arm.

“We’re going to begin to clean her burns, if you’d like to step out in the hall.” One of the nurses says. Spencer nods his head and leaves the room with Emily following behind him. Pacing back and forth in the hallway, one hand on his hip and the other dug in his hair.

“Spencer-”

“Did you see how terrified she was?” He says looking at Emily. “She couldn’t even look at me without seeing...him.”

“But she’s getting the help she needs, Spencer.” Emily says. “And she’s gonna need you there with her.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” He says shaking her head.

“Yes you can, I know you can because she was there for JJ when she went through this exact thing, she even there for you too, remember?” Spencer looks down at his feet. He knew Emily was right. You were always there for him during his time through the court trials and when he was locked up in prison. You practically had to beg Garcia to let you take her spot to visit him so you could see him more, keep him updated on life outside of the jail walls. You waited for him to come home when he was released for good. You never left anyone in the dark. You made sure to be there for everyone and help out anyway you could. There was so much he knew you did.

You helped JJ cope after what went down with Askari; just like JJ and Hotch, you knew about Emily’s situation after Doyle, playing her in online games and emailing each other ever so often keeping her updated on the team and yourself. You would step in to babysit for JJ or Hotch when needed. When Rossi’s military friend passed, you were there to lend a listening ear when and if he needed to talk. George Foyett with Hotch, you took a little bit of time off to help with Jack; taking him to school and picking him up, taking him to soccer practices, having sleepovers at your apartment when Hotch was having a hard day. There wasn’t ever a moment where you didn’t do something for a friend.

“Spencer, she needs you more than anyone right now.” Emily says right as the nurses come out of the room. “Go be with her.”

Spencer sighs. “Okay..” He goes back into the room and pulls a chair over to the side of the bed. Picking up your hand, he holds it in his own.

Never again would he brush you aside. He would listen to you from now on. He wouldn’t let you go through something like this again.

Rough ending, I just didn’t know how to finish this up.

If you liked this, then please be sure to leave it some love! <3

Thank you! :)

#criminal minds #criminal minds au #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #reader insert #paranoid #finale