#i am falling apart

[cutie-chimera]

What's it like having a trans healthcare emergency in a "blue" state?

Well, I have been abandoned by my endocrinologist.

The "trans friendly" health clinics were forcing me to wait MONTHS to get a behavioral assessment (of which I need 2)

I was lucky enough to have the 300 dollars PER SESSI0N to pay a private practice for letters to expedite.

I still had to wait 6 weeks to see a doctor for a physical.

And despite all of that, and having it all done, all hoops jumped through, I still have to wait two months for my insurance company to deem whether or not my surgery is nessicary.

What is it like to have a trans healthcare emergency in a blue state? It's being forced to medically detransition over 4 months for the crime of being fucking trans.

#Idk if i can make it another 8 weeks #i am falling apart #this is what trans looks like #transgender #trans rights #trans healthcare

[ibenology]

how I be feeling waiting for this Loki finale

#I am falling apart #it might look like i am sitting calmly in my bed #but I am in fact being spaghettified as we speak #loki #loki series #loki season 2 #lokius

[ineffable-baker-street]

DANCING

THEY ARE DANCING

he just-

grabbed his hand.

and pulled him onto the dance floor

my heart genuinely might not be able to cope with this, if i stop posting you'll know i died happy

#good omens #i am falling apart #aziracrow #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #crowley my beloved #crowley and aziraphale #i love them so much #neil gaiman

[octorocktopus]

Hey hey hai helo haii

Somebody wanna interact?

#Please I need someone to talk #I am falling apart #Tfw you know you are in a place that the instant you reveal your true self #they'll kick you out #shitting tears rn

[gardenerian]

I’ll never be over Ian and Mickey being eachothers first love.

oh is it time for mel to get weird again??? i think it’s time for mel to get weird again. i will also never get over it, anon! how could we???

i mean?? mickey??? grew up largely in a loveless home. it was all about survival for so long 😭loving and letting himself love was so hard and SO SCARY but it also came so naturally to him??? like loving ian was just worth that risk for him every time, and letting himself rest in the knowledge of being loved??? of being so gently cared for and fiercely known? WHAT?? 😭 letting himself be vulnerable and seen and touched and AHH! he has so much love in him! and now he is able to share it so freely? WHAT? because he tried to beat up a boy that messed with his sister? shut up. SHUT UPPPP.

and then ian 😭 who thought he was loved, who thought he know what love felt like. who gave his eager heart to people who hurt him 😭 but who INSTANTLY realized that mickey was something different, someone worth knowing and being known by?? he saw a connection there and chased it until it wrapped him up and felt like home 😭 he always knew it was worth the wait 😭 they were so steadfast and so patient, they always sought each other out when they could, they always wanted and loved each other oh my god literally NEVER getting over it 😭

#anon how could you #i am falling apart #mel answers

[pampinto]

Okay so today my housemate just messages me telling me that I've lost the recycling box???

They said they didn't take it out, and that I took it out last, but like last time I took it out was before it went missing, we had guests who cooked and used the bin, when emptied it there was no recycling from their GF.

they where all like 'well, no one knows where it is, and you had it last. What do you suggest we do?" They aren't looking for solutions they are looking to place blame. What kind of question is this even like, if the bin is missing there are only two options: find it or replace it.

They don't even know that I was the last person to empty it, they have just assumed it and ran with it.

Trying to get me to buy a new one as if we haven't just replaced the washing machine, and you have just gone on a trip to the dump.

I think its easier to lose a medium green box in a large dump than it is to lose a medium green box in a small courtyard.

#i am actually crying #my mum is dead #i am falling apart #i am spiraling out of control #and on top of all of that #i am being accused of things I had nothing to do with #i just want peace not problems #they aren't looking for solutions they are looking to place blame #thats good im editing that last one into the main text

[mischiefmanagers]

mentally I am a wreck pls send fluff of the remus lupin, sirius black, fred weasley, or newt scamander variety 🥹

#pb speaks #i am falling apart #send help #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #fred weasley x reader #newt scamander x reader

[trailmixedup]

(the same things happening to me all the time, even in my dreams)

+ Friday, November 11 +

“I have dreamt about what it's like to die

And i saw myself becoming shadows again

Just like i did when i was a kid

I saw my bones crack open

And all the things i've been hiding from you spill out

All the secrets that i never thought i'd tell anyone about

I am warm and i am bored and i am drifting through this place

It's no better or worse than anything else that's ever happened to me

But i wish that i'd never met a lot of the people that i've met

Not because i don't like them but because i only let them down

And when you disappoint everyone all the time

It's hard not to want to die

Constantly i feel this weird and shameful feeling

Like im being watched by a thousand glowing, vengeful eyes

Behind one way mirrors in public bathrooms and in metro cars

And everywhere i go i know i'm not welcome”

———————————————————————————————————

Getting out of my house helps. It’s easier to ignore the urges when I’m around other people. Nobody around me knows how goddamn hard I’m trying to be good. Even if they did, I doubt they would care. I genuinely can’t let anyone how how hard I’m trying to make sure they don’t get sick of me. It’s kinda pathetic, but I know they would leave. I’m too emotional and my needs are unreasonable and burdensome. I’m trying so hard to stay afloat on my own too, if I stopped trying and let them know how badly I’m struggling, they would think I’m weak. I’m not weak.

I have responsibilities. I can’t focus on how much it all hurts until I finish my tasks for the day. I’ll probably be back later lamenting how badly I want to cut, but I have snakes to feed and college work to do right now. And laundry.

#mental decline #online diary #seasonal depression #depressing post #relapse season #why do i do this to myself #i’m so tired #tw sh related #i am a problem #i am falling apart #teen suicide band

[grrlcookery]

Well that is never the fuck happening again

I let Nina's water bowl go dry. Fuck.

*scrambles to put even more reminders on phone*

#fuck #personal #i am falling apart #but nina will NOT suffer for that #for fucks sakes

[coffee-and-oatmeal]

I want to cut so bad

#self h@te #depressing shit #self h@rm #$h tumblr #$elf harm #$uicidal #su1cide #su1c1dal #tw depression #tw depressing thoughts #i hate my body #i hate everything #i want to diiieeee #life is pain #tw ed relapse #bingeandpurge #ed vent #disordered eating thoughts #i am so tired #i am fat #i am falling apart #please help

[snippe475]

boys, girls, and those undecided it is

✨Depression o'clock✨

#help #i am falling apart #cold and sad girl hours

[wistsandmagic]

....love active shooter alarms (no this was not a drill) going off. Thought after I got out of school THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM ANYMORE.

#I'm fine #we're fine #I was CALM at work and now that they sent everyone home #and I am ACTUALLY SAFE AT HOME #I am falling apart

[vmkhoneyy]

“Yeah no my lower back hurts like. All the time- if I overdo it it’s kind of like if someone took a soldering iron to my vertebrae and started welding them together”

coworker 1: oh! that sounds like arthritis, i got it after my back surgery

(has never had back surgery) “..excuse me?”

-two weeks later-

coworker 2: i don’t understand how you can pop your neck, I usually just roll mine around

“Idk, if I roll my head it just sounds like broken glass and kind of hurts”

coworker 2: that’s arthritis! I have that in my hips

Conclusion: ?????

#IM 24???????? #two different people reaching the same conclusion about my sunchip bag joints is crazy #i am falling apart #chronically ill

[mantis-a-shrimp]

Blocks of text are like sponges to me. I want to squish them.

#ignore me #i am falling apart #they look so satisfying to touch though