#i am ill over him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

florallylly · 3 months

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i've seen model steve harrington aus. i've seen child steve harrington aus. i present: child model steve harrington

note: this came from my own desperate need to see this conceptualized and i SWEAR i've searched, i just can't find any content with child model steve so. :(

bc little steve harrington was remarkably cherub-like. his large brown eyes and soft pout ensured endless cooing and fussing from his mom's friends. and when he blushed and ducked his head in shyness, they only complimented him more. when he got home that day, his mom smiled at him.

so steve decided that he would put up with the cheek pinching and the squealing. he sat upright in his chair, sitting on his hands so he wouldn't fidget and ruin the image. because he'd do anything to keep his mom smiling at him. if he was being particularly good that day, she'd let him lay his head on her lap on the drive back home.

but everything changed at his father's birthday gala. a nearly eight year old steve harrington sat prim and proper in his seat, but a smile lit up his face--his cheeks round and his dimples showing up. he raised his hand up to cover his giggle, but he couldn't help but laugh at some silly old man with a loose toupee. then he sees his mom approaching, and his face quickly smooths over, going back to the more polite smile he usually adopted when it came to these events.

he'd ruined it. he hadn't continued being the sweet boy his mom wanted. but then, she smiles at him. and introduces him to the man behind her, who says he's a designer. the man holds out his hand, but when steve puts his hand into his palm, he doesn't shake it. the man simply holds his hand, his eyes scanning steve's face. steve tries not to squirm under the attention. but the man nods and smiles at his mom, and he gives two brief cheek kisses to steve, whispering in his ear "you're going to be a star, darling." steve looks at his mom, confused, but she waves him off to continue talking to the man.

a few months later, steve's mom whisks him off on a trip to france. and steve is so excited to go, nearly vibrating in his seat as the airplane prepares to take off. but instead of the eiffel tower and the seine, steve is taken to a studio. he's posed and changed. once again, he's being fussed over, but instead of wealthy socialites, gossiping make-up artists squeal over him. he's "perfect for the shoot" and "the most darling little boy." steve doesn't understand, but his mom is still smiling, so he lets the nice ladies brush powder over his face.

and he looks in the mirror. his hair is a little more tousled and his lips have a slight tint to them and his eyes seem to take up much of his face. he's put into new clothes, and he feels like a doll in their hands. and when he's put in front of the camera, he simply follows the photographer's directions. afterwards, he's bundled into the car and his mom can't stop gushing about how good he was.

apparently, he's a natural. and then she goes back to fussing over him, focusing more on appearance than his behavior now. but she takes him out shopping and they eat at an upscale restaurant along the champs-elysses. and steve is happy.

and then they go back home, and his mom is so much stricter than before. she has him try out all kinds of different hair products, determined to find the best combination to keep it looking shiny and soft. she controls his food intake and what he wears and makes him use weird creams and serums on his face. but this is what makes his mom happy, so he's happy to let her.

his mom is also on the phone a lot more lately, whispering harshly about the quality of brands and steve just assumes she's being picky about the clothes she buys. later, his mom picks him up and holds him, and asks if he'd like to move to italy. she looks at him intently and it's obvious what answer she wants, so steve nods. she smiles and holds him close, and it's the most loved steve has felt in a while.

so they move to italy, and suddenly steve is a lot more busy. he's put in front of more cameras for more people he doesn't know. but he's smiling and pouting and doing whatever they want him to do. his compliant attitude and polite nature have photographers and designers alike singing his praises, and steve always looks to his mom for approval. but she's been arguing with his dad a lot lately, so she's upset more often than not. but that's okay, the make-up artists are always kind to him.

but then one day, his mom takes a phone call in the middle of the shoot. and when it finishes, she's gone. steve goes back in, close to tears, but the make-up artists still hanging around look after him until a car is sent to pick him up. this becomes a trend. and eventually, steve goes alone to his shoots. he's always taken care of by the crew and someone is always there to pick him up, but it's not fun without his mom there.

but he knows that she's always enjoyed him taking pictures, so he continues to do so, hoping that she'll come watch him again sometime soon. and he busies himself with befriending the chatty make-up artists and the bossy photographers and the eccentric designers. and he's such a cute little thing that they can't help but dote on him.

steve is never catapulted into child stardom, as his mom is picky with his jobs, only choosing luxury brands and well known designers for him. but within the industry, they call him the "little prince."

and then steve is catapulted into puberty, but his intense skin regimen prevents him from getting acne, save for the occasional zit. and his diet and religious exercise schedule help maintain his look. and he's still doing remarkably well, especially now that he's fully aware that he is a Model.

and steve has truly grown into his looks. with time, he's grown more comfortable in front of the camera and made numerous friends. nearly all of them are older than him, but they're fun and loud and it fills up the space that normally surrounds him. and they're the ones who get him hooked on american movies. steve remembers living in america, but he's been in milan so long that everything he recalls is vague.

but he watches them and falls in love with the american high school experience. so when he finally catches his mom off the phone and actually in the house, steve asks if he can go to school in america. and his mom laughs. but steve keeps asking, which devolves into begging. and his mother snaps, slapping him across the face and calling him ungrateful. she cries and begs for forgiveness, cowed into shame by steve's desperate attempt to hold back tears.

and so she lets him go to school in hawkins, indiana. an odd choice, but his parents just so happened to own a property there. (in truth, both of his parents expected him to change his mind within the year). but steve finds his place at hawkins high, because even though nobody in hawkins has ever heard of versace, steve is pretty. he's pretty and charming and he knows the right thing to say. after all, he's spent his whole life perfecting his mask.

and even if his mom ended up moving back home with his dad, leaving steve all alone in that big empty house, steve is happy. he's finally hanging out with people his age and high school is so far removed from the glitz and glam of the fashion industry. and he's settled and content with tommy and carol by his side. while he misses his friends back in milan, steve finds himself longing for the clothes more often. hawkins was certainly the opposite of milan, what with the nearest mall being two hours away and only equipped with a macy's and jcpenny.

through it all, steve is determined to be normal. he laughs along with jokes he doesn't quite get and rolls his eyes at carol's cue, and he joins the swim team. and he joins the basketball team. and he goes to parties and kisses girls and wears dumb little polos with his letterman jacket and does everything that he saw in the movies.

but nancy wheeler is different. steve can't forget his time in italy and who he is and was, and he's reminded of his old life in everyone and everything in hawkins. but not nancy wheeler. she's all hawkins and all his. and then the upside down happens.

and then nancy wheeler breaks his heart.

even after three years, his parents continue to ask when he'll go back to modeling, but he's different now. the upside down and billy hargrove beat that starry eyed little kid who thrived in the spotlight. and nancy wheeler proved that adoration and love is fleeting, so what would even be the point of trying anymore? his dad was a little more approving of steve's retirement/hiatus, saying that steve must want to go to college so he can take over the family business.

but when steve doesn't get into college, he's once again badgered by his mom to go back. but he's grown and changed and he's not sure that he can pretend anymore, so he says no. and they cut him off. enter: scoops era.

the measly scoops salary is not nearly enough to cover all of the new bills and expenses steve has, but he's not willing to leave hawkins. so he reaches out to his friends back in italy, and they refer him to their american connections. steve doesn't model at the same level as before, but he poses for a couple of zines and one artist who got a little too handsy at his exhibition. but he's able to make it through until the mall blows up.

this routine continues and he starts working at family video with robin at his side, but he keeps his side job a secret from the kids, using the excuse of visiting his parents to leave town for his shoots. he's not ashamed, but he knows he wouldn't "be normal" anymore if they found out.

but how does he explain his near mental breakdown at the sight of his healing demobat scars. they're raised and ugly, ruining what should have been a perfect body. and even though he uses scar cream everyday, they refuse to fade away completely. and how could anyone stand to be near such an ugly thing when all his life, steve was meant to be pretty? after all, love and adoration is fleeting.

#steve harrington #give me grace i literally do not know how to verbalize all of my thoughts about this #child model au #imagining them finding out bc jonathan or will was interested in some photography art exhibition and steve is literally the centerpiece #everyone FREAKING OUT #robin knew bc OFC robin knew #steve feeling too self conscious to keep his old ads but he knows his mom keeps a record in her office #dustin screaming crying punching the wall YOUVE BEEN FAMOUS THIS WHOLE TIME... AND DIDNT TELL ME....#mike wheeler feeling ill bc is steve actually kind of cool....#italian steve harrington #because OF COURSE italian steve harrington #eddie munson asking steve if he'd ever consider doing playboy #steve going into a very serious answer about his career projection and actually that's an insult eddie. do u know who i am #and eddie is like yeah ur the centerfold in my heart baby #and then steve gets it #to be so clear. steve's mom DOES love him but she's also extremely selfish #that's why she feels bad when she slaps him and concedes to his request #but once she gets over the initial guilt she's like but he was a STAR i was the mother of a STAR

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starrysharks · 10 months

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i am the cattt just chillin outt but in the night she's all i think aboutttt

#zeno's art #i feel so strong 😭 when shes around 😭 she picks me up 😭 when 😭 i 😭 am 😭 down 😭#even i can admit that i love the full theme song. anyway!#for this redesign i also wanted him to feel less generic but in a different way to marinette #i wanted his civilian clothes to look comfortable and stylish so hes like ... a rich boy who doesnt really dress like a rich boy #idk #i got rid of the purple to keep everything cohesive and because it annoyed me #and i tried to make the outfit less simiar to maris too. why were they both wearing nearly matching jacket shirt jeans ensembles???#i also wanted to make his hair look a bit smart with the side part but also a little rebellious with the spiked hair #that also creates a subtle cat ear silhouette.#with the chat noir suit: the original looks very uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear for a 14 year old (i think theyre 14 in the show?)#i remember that one of the designers for itsv said that most teens would be embarrassed wearing a spandex/tight suit if they were superheros #and thats why miles wore shorts and a jacket and shoes over his #so i thought 'ill make chat's suit more comfy'#rather than his weird leather suit its more loose esp in the legs to make an interesting silhouette #the cat scratches on the suit + the messier hair also signify rebellion #and the belt mirrors that of my ladybug redesign #the graident tail is just to match plagg + it looks cool #ok done rambling!#miraculous ladybug #mlb #adrien agreste #chat noir #cat noir #plagg #zag studios hire this man

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witchspeka · 1 year

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It's always "Shou and Ritsu need to blow stuff up with their minds for mental health reasons" or Ritsu and Teru or even Shou and Teru!

But what about Mob? When does he get to blow stuff up with his mind for funsies? For shits and giggles? He didn't go through all of those meltdowns and character development for nothing, let him go ham on a junkyard car or something smh

I believe in Mob's narrative given right to fuck shit up sometimes

#im hungry i should do homework i should also finish all of my other drafted posts BUT I AM LAZY #ive been starting to write fic tho at least thats productive. fic thats kind of relevant to this actually hm #listen i just want more Mob content where he does smth reckless or stupid with his powers he deserves it #or just in general tbh i need more content of mob being kinda mean or having arguments with ppl like to a healthy degree ok #but i still want him to. yanno. lash out and stuff. experience emotion. have him get angry over petty stuff #the first mp100 fic ive ever started writing/drafting had mob and ritsu having a proper fight post canon #i just need it for my OWN mental health. let them have dumb sibling fights and have mob express his annoyances #itd be funny and cathartic. for me at least. ill finish that shit one day its been assembled and disassembled but ill figure it out #eventually #let mob feel and express all of the ugly emotions he didnt allow himself to acknowledge for years pls #its my favourite thing #anyway.#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shigeo kageyama #cine te a intrebat

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 2 months

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SO. TO KICK OFF THE WEEK OF SPECULATION BEFORE THE UPDATE DROPS.

last night i had a bit of a Revelation. literally. i borderline woke up in a cold sweat with this realization. the way i lunged for my laptop to scream at friends... ough. lets get into it

so. i do believe I've made a couple of theory posts about Barnaby not being quite as receptive to his and Wally's "forced" best friendship as Wally - since the show wrote them to be friends instead of it happening naturally. i thought it might be a point of tension for Barn. i thought a lot.

YES SO I'M TOSSING (almost) ALL OF THAT OUT THE WINDOW!

the bios state Barnaby as Wally's best friend multiple times over. it had to be regularly reinforced. their colors were chosen to mark them as friends.

but Barnaby - presumably - can't see the bios, he wouldn't know the scripts. the friendship would be natural from his perspective. how would he know otherwise? even if the relationship started out synthetic, i don't doubt that it became genuine. in the context of their world and perceptions, realistically speaking Barnaby probably wouldn't sense anything wrong.

the reminders to be best friends weren't for Barnaby.

they were for Wally.

i'm starting to suspect that Wally is Barnaby's best friend, but Barnaby isn't Wally's. i think that Wally's "best friend" is Home - or at least Wally has a closer connection to them / Home is more important to Wally than anyone else is.

i remember reading this livestream trivia (from theneighborhoodwatch's doc, if you haven't their resources yet what are you even doing?):

and i assumed it was for Barnaby's side of the relationship. but it's not, is it? it's Wally's? and it makes too much fucking Sense! it fits! i can see it perfectly! i can feel things slotting together in my mind due to this shift in perspective, and i'm scared

Barnaby probably thinks the relationship is natural, just like how he thinks he's a real person in a real world. Wally probably knows that the relationship is a role, just like how he knows he's a puppet in a false reality.

that leaves me wondering how much of it is genuine on Wally's side. i don't doubt that they really are friends, but how deep does that connection go? in the interview, Wally sounded excited/proud about having a best friend, but how much came from a place of feeling, and how much came from a place of Fulfilling The Role? how much of it is performative? how much of it is a mask?

i've been seeing everything differently. Barnaby poses for Wally the most because he has good balance and is good at staying still, not because of favoritism or because he's Wally's best friend. in the 14 (15 including the hidden halloween) audios, Barnaby consistently seeks out Wally and checks in on him. Wally seems more casual about their relationship than Barnaby is.

i'm worried that Wally values Home & You/Us over Barnaby. that Barnaby is second or third place in Wally's heart. that Wally means more to Barnaby than he means to Wally. after all, only one of them needed their relationship to be reinforced on a seemingly regular basis.

i'm confident that Wally cares about / loves Barnaby, but the question is how much? to what extent?

#IM SO FUCKING ILL.#and by worried i mean Frothing At The Mouth. that would hurt so good. it would be delicious #i mean. it makes so much fucking sense. it feels Right!#and oh the ways this could hurt barnaby #i already suspect he has some Internal insecurities and shit but. oh man. if this is true it would break his heart wouldnt it #he has his hearts on his palms but wally's hearts are hidden on the soles of his shoes....#god. no this. this. i cant start ranting and raving about what this means for barnaby and how i think it might affect him #the picture all the pieces of What We Know About Him So Far paint #all i'll say is. comic relief characters are always a tragedy under the mask.#wh speculation #homebogging #wh theory #welcome home speculation #welcome home theory #the way i was losing my absolute shit in discord. Man.#i am continuously in premature mourning over barnaby.#eddie might be doomed by the narrative but barn is Screwed by the narrative #poor guy just can't catch a break #also the idea. the Concept. that wally might consider you/us a closer/dearer friend than barnaby #is. its. well its devastating and juicy as Fuck!#there's. there's so much to unpack here im gonna be honest #for the first time since getting into this project im feeling like im starting to see a cohesive picture #the implications. the connections. the way it ties into themes. man... oh man... And It Makes. Sense.#barnaby knows wally better than the other neighbors - Besides Home - but how much more?#does he think he knows more than he does? i mean absolutely. wally is still hardcore masking around him.#wally doesn't confide in him not really #but man. Man. oh i understand why completely. at least i like to think i do #oh boy this is gonna kill me and im gonna like it #i had this realization and i felt my neurons shift just a little. just Enough. FUCK #barnaby b beagle. baby. i am so sorry but you're gonna have a hell of a fucking time

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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sobbing at how happy they all look

#THEYRE DRENCHING THEIR BOY HEHEHE #but god the way fernando is looking at him is just......insane #i am going to sob i am going to lose it #i love that ive kinda down two preliminary passes on 2011. one with sebson goggles on and then one w vettonso goggles #its just a lot of fun and i feel so crazy about them #fernando and jenson's smiles are going to brainrot me for a while i think #maybe ill post the pics from this specifically bcs theyre just as cute #as c said: this is the ideal wec team tbh(mark can be tp skljldks)#not pictured: when jense comes over and starts pouring it on seb ITS SO CYUTEEEEE #anyways yeah 2011 derangement so its a very typical day on the blog of catie skitskatdacat63 #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #jenson button #sebson #buttonso #vettonso #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #2011 indian gp

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starlitcrows · 3 months

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to obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

happy birthday to my kiran!

#kiran #yasna #kiran salomonis ijana #yasna asmodeus ijana #fire emblem #oc #summoner oc #fire emblem heroes #feh #neosketches #ougghgghhghfhghh i am so unnormal #i finally got smt good down for his birthday #i really wanna work on his backstory fic. send thoughts n prayers #my boy!! my dear boy #ive had so many problems working on him over the years but #i hope ill be able to work past them w him

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ph0enixart · 5 months

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waiting

#worlds beyond number #spoilers #wbn #wbn: www #wbn pod #ame #suvi #suvirin kedberiket #fox #the wizard the witch and the wild one #ill be so honest this is unfinished but then suvi did something really hot in the last episode and i need to draw it and idk #i may come back and finish rendering this or start over completely because the way i set it up made it so hard to render #also eursolons in the corner you just cant see him #ph0enixarts

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frecklystars · 8 months

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♡ heart eyes ♡ (WIP)

Every time I draw self ship art with Ken, I'm always gonna draw him wearing my bracelet. it's got the letter K, he can think of it as K for Ken or K for Keri. either way it'll make him think of me when he sees it 💕

#WIP #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #ken #barbie ken #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-#a doodle between comms bc i was going insane with love for him #also that is HIS hand i feel like i didnt make it... clear enough #i almost dont want to queue this. surely ill regret it. but thats future keri's problem #i love drawing his headband bc the two tails at the end remind me of when i used to #draw plankton's braids. two over the shoulder.#god theres so much wrong with this i keep noticing mistakes but!!!!#IM GONNA QUEUE IT ANYWAY #if i line/color this i am gonna make it look so damn pretty

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dustykneed · 3 months

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you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

you make me happy when skies are gray

(prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk bingo prompt "gone with the wind".)

static frames below:

ouch! neck deep in aos bones feels rn... lmk if i should make a fix-it or somethin

#yeah so yesterday i said id try not to get distracted.. Guess how well that went LMAO #SORRY BONES hes going thru it in this one but literally this is all aos canon. aos is so mean to him and for what #not a single drop of closure... tos bones would flip shit if he found out. Thats the real reason why bones prime never shows up in aos #YEAH BTW PLEASE LOOK AT THE STATIC FRAMES PROCREATE HAS A ASTRONOMIC GRUDGE AGAINST THE 3RD SLIDE FOR SOME REASON #it would NOT stop crunching that one single GODDAMN FRAME in the gif. like full on colour blowout. like WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU #YEAH SO I HAD TO SCREENSHOT IT AND PUT THAT IN THE GIF. EXCEPT MY IPAD SCREENSHOTS THINGS WEIRD. so its CONSPICUOUSLY BRIGHT #the 3rd and 4th frames are meant to have the same background color. every time i watch the gif i am filled with unimaginable rage #WHAT DID THAT FRAME EVER DO TO MY IPAD. what unforgivable crimes did it ever commit to be disrespected like this #ok rant over tags now :))#star trek #star trek aos #star trek fanart #mcspirk bingo #mcspirk #mcspirk fanart #spones #mckirk #spirk #star trek alternate original series #aos #spones fanart #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #spock #jim kirk #did not use a single ref so the fact that the uniforms are reasonably legible as aos is a win (not like i use refs for anything else lol)#spirk is holding hands in that last frame!! gay people moment #OH AND I DID THIS IN LIKE. AROUND 3 HOURS? ive been meaning to draw that first frame for ages now so YIPPEEEEE #i did have a different caption in mind tho. Guess ill redraw it in the future LMAO #dust medibang paints

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the-judicial-assistants-notebook · 3 months

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whatever you do, don't think about how lana saw herself in edgeworth, ok? don't think about how she wanted to distance herself from him the moment they met because he could possibly see through the sl-9 plan and ruin everything, but she couldn't because he was kind, if not a little awkward, to her terrified sister in a case where everyone else's only concern was securing a conviction. don't think about how she brought ema to the prosecutor's office (because she damn well wasn't going to let her sister face this alone) with her hackles raised and her defences bolstered because she'd heard about the "demon prosecutor" and his ways just to realise he's nothing but a young man, trying his best to survive under the weight of his mentor's shadow and ensure justice is served by whatever means he can. don't think about how she felt later, when she was under gant's thumb and knew for a fact that all those rumours surrounding von karma's perfect record were, in fact, true and that he was using edgeworth's faith in him to fulfill his own goals. don't think about how she felt when she had to begin doing the same. or what must have gone through her head when she entered her office one morning to find a case approval form waiting for her on her desk: the state v. miles edgeworth. don't think about how she knew, once she saw the name of the prosecutor assigned to his case, that she was signing his death warrant. don't imagine what she rehearsed saying to his sister or her realisation, after his miraculous survival, why he had been so understanding of her own. don't wonder, as she did, ineffectually, if it was his competence or her fondness for him that led to his car and knife being chosen to cover goodman's murder — a second attempt at his permanent removal — and whether it was affection or guilt that made her stand by the corpse, waiting readily to be caught in his stead. don't think about how she finds out, eventually, that he is gone, in a jail cell so far from remorse, gratitude and closure that she can only sit and turn in her head distorted thoughts about luck and fortuitous third chances. don't.

#i am gripping you by the shoulders through the bars of my cage as i say this. and shaking manically.#lana skye #miles edgeworth #rise from the ashes #the lana-edgeworth brainworms have won the battle inside my brain but i refuse to be the only loser. the moment i realised she would have #been the one who signed off on von karma taking edgeworth's trial it was all over #and the edgeworth-gregory to ema-neil parallels were just the final nails in the coffin.#on another note i just realised that edgeworth gets investigated by the pic (or a similar body) in rfta rather than it happening for the #first time in aai2. idk it's probably just that they forgot but i like that justine doesnt bring this up when she's giving edgeworth the #pic's reasoning for suspecting him of misconduct. like yeah let's not bring up the case that made him suicidal. his mentor is fair game but #not that. idk i just think it's nice. rfta would 100% be the stronger justification but she doesnt use it. at least not directly.#back on topic though i've espoused too long on the ills of pushing all character relationships into either romantic or familial boxes #to claim that the skyes and edgeworth are like siblings but. i am gritting my teeth and glaring at that sentiment and making inarticulate #gestures around it. emphatically.#im writing this all past 12 am again can you guys tell

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