#i am miserable i love them so much

[rreids]

CRIMINAL MINDS 04.23 | Amplification

#had to cut some small parts like the (you ready?) because it was already obscenely long but who is crying with me #i am miserable i love them so much #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #kirsten vangsness #penelope garcia #criminal minds #cm spoilers #gifs #long post

[uselessimpulses]

so like theyre an old married couple theyre divorced theyre frantic teens in love

#im miserable theyre so doomed and in love and always will be despite being DOOMED #physically unwell over them im literally begging for them to hug on screen just once #trigun 98 youre wildin n i love you so much #trimax you will always hold a special place in my heart and you melt my brain i am not gods strongest soldier release me from this war #trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun maximum #trimax #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vashwood

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Truth and revenge is best served cold.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #song lan #This comic was another 'almost cut' one but I previously cut out xue yang bartering (threatening) for potatoes so I felt it was justified #episode 2 is so sad and miserable. I am going to do my best by making it a little funny. #Xue yang really committed fully to this new life of his! Don't threated him by trying to ruin it! #I love how he takes the blame here too. Yes he purposefully set up events to cause a divide between them #Yes he attacked SL because it would hurt XXC the most #but hey: that only hurt because he loved SL so much (in whatever form they have) #and SL hurt XXC in turn by sending him away #Xue Yang set it up but Song Lan dealt a blow on his own #XY is still the *most* at fault here but contrasting this with how strongly he justifies his actions to XXC later is very interesting to me #also he did NOT have to villain monologue about all the stuff he made xxc do. He could have just shut up about it #but nah he needs to cause hurt because HE'S so hurt and can't make other people understand him in any other way.

[alenaphale]

nothing makes me happier than corny ass symbolism and a good old muse song </3

#les miserables #valvert #les mis #les mis fanart #javert #jean valjean #also i am chronically not able to finish a piece but who cares right #i love them so much #my art

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[beelzebubsfavor]

troy and abed keep me sane during my episodes

#troy barnes #abed nadir #trobed #community #community nbc #i am so miserable #i hate having bpd so much #these two gays keep me sane #if i dont feel loved by my partner i will feel loved through them

[weaponizedducks]

much as i love merlin and arthur they were NOT the blueprint. they were very nearly the blueprint, but the actual og's were from a book written in 1862 by Victor Hugo. that's right. it's enjolras and grantaire. the timeline goes exr-merthur-firstprince

#i'm right #viccy h was doing it before it was a thing #k so enj arthur and henry are all blonde and in a position of power #with a destiny and skill and crushing expectations and incredible loyalty #and socially awkward/clueless (do not tell me arthur is not socially awkward all his friends are just merlin's friends or gwen's brother) #all have a bit of a rivalry with annoying defiant brunette and don't realise how much they love them (exr truther till i die) #the brunettes themselves are annoyed by the blondes and love to antagonise them but end up loving them and dying looking at them (e and a) #R merlin and alex are all snarky bitches with (yet again) a complicated family relationship #a bitchy female best friend (using eponine and morgana for this bc i am an ep and R besties truther) #who know the destiny and how it will end (alex is the only one it turns out for) (r knows they will fail) (merlin knows arthur will die) #but who do everything they can to stay with blonde and prevent the ending (r goes as far as dying with e) #and end up devoting their life to blonde with unfathomable loyalty while also teasing them at every turn #their devotion gets to the point that blonde's life is worth more than their own #merlin #merthur #bbc merlin #red white and royal blue #firstprince #exr #enjoltaire #les miserables #but arthur and merlin are SO exr coded #none of this heartstopper-merlin-firstprince bullshit #heartstopper is the same time pretty much as firstprince and dont even act like the rest of them #they can't JUST be blonde and brunette they need the vibes to go along with it #victorian era- 2000's medieval- modern

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D #I am the cheese god remember?😅 #I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses #“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY #And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D #I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together #(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the #“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion #How what they have could never be sullied by #something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son. #'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo #no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that #even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.' #...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then #“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her #catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works. #... #I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D #They are so silly and I love them so much #...I wrote a lot :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #odypen #yahoo!!! #sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane

[chrisbangs]

i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸

#i'm not coming back but :') hello #i forgot i even had tumblr still on my phone djdkdkdkdk #i just opened it for the first time in ??? 5 months or smth i think idk for sure #life is weird :') #remember when i said i wanna drop out every day of my life :') bc i suck at design #welp i won an award for my design thesis :') #jsjdjdkdkdkdj #turns out having friends kinda changes your life 🫂 #having friends at school has actually :') made me a happier more normal person lol #i haven't been miserable?? i haven't wanted to kms ... i have been so happy and yes school was shitty but i wanted to go and try hard bc #my friends motivated me to stay and try and that's crazy :') idk #felt really loved and like i belonged somewhere for the first time in my life 🫨 like woah ppl like me and wanna be my friend? me?? #:') i'm really happy... isn't that weird #i used to want to kms every other day hsjdndkdkdks lol 😭 #now i'm like 😭 every day i look forward to waking up bc i'm happy and i have ppl who love me and i wanna see them again and i wanna spend #time with them again and play games with them again :') #literally stayed up till ??? 4 am yesterday talking to one of them like #😭 #god jm djjdkdkdkd idk :') #my life is good... #???? IM NOT MISERABLE IDK GUYS #wild af #even winning the award was such a shock like 🥲 damn . who ? me? #ppl from like :') this big design thing in toronto we're praising it too like djdjdodjdkdj #:') it's kinda crazy.. i was super ! #man.. i cant believe how 5 months ago i was gonna kms 🥸👆 and now i'm like erm actually maybe we do need to live #:') anyway #i hope ppl on here are doing good 🫨🔨 #it is sad to not be here as much but also 👋😌 i'm happy to be free at the same time so ✨

[torgawl]

if wriothesley doesn't appear in any quest once we get to remuria, what even is the point?

the parallels between wrio and king remus are crystal clear. remus who descended upon meropis (a name very familiar to anyone who knows of the fortress of meropide) in his golden fortuna, the legendary ship of remus that is also called the bringer of civilization and glory (wrio who built a ship to deal with the misfortune upon fontaine) is an example of it.

wrio also has connections to hades with the cerberus motif as guardian of the underworld. it's curious that the tower in remuria is described not only as not built to receive heavenly oracles, serving as a guide to ships traveling between islands, but also as a border of reality and dreams. if this is not necessarily literal but a metaphor or allegory, it could fit very well with the idea of a portal between domains or realms, like life and death.

wriothesley also parallels another character in the genshin universe and that person is arlecchino. they were brought up as orphans, taken in by an institution with corrupted leaders, which they reformed and achieved a leading position of. and funnily enough, she has ties to purgatory (a place for punishment, much like the fortress). as i have said in another post, purgatory has been described by dante as a tower leading to heaven. but we also know that celestia in the genshin world is associated with the demon realm - archons being named after ars goetia, an anonymous grimoire on demonology. although the concepts aren't the same in theory, is it impossible that the game has used elements of both? wriothesley and arlecchino's themes are similar enough to overlap. even though i don't expect wriothesley to be lore revelant anymore, i do think his ties to remuria and his role as someone who punishes others for their sins, much like arlecchino, is very much purposeful.

#another random post because i read the history of the decline and fall of remuria and i keep reaching the same conclusions sghdfasgd #i don't know what to make of it but i feel like i'm so much on the right track for arle's lore but i am probably still missing something #important ahah probably related to the narzissenkreuz ordo and khaenri'ah (and consequently the #hilicurl curse) since arle probably has ties to that era as well. she was probably done experiments on much like caterpillar but i have no #idea my first instinct tells me she's not from khaenri'ah but who knows i'll love to find out #anyway this was a post about wrio but again arlecchino has taken over my mind so it is what it is #i forgot to include in the post but fortuna is not only the goddess of fortune and luck but also the god of fate. wrio who built the boat i #hopes to challenge the fate of fontaine vs pierro saying fate grants favors to no one and implying arlecchino has been able to challenge it #like. lore is so fun!!!!!! i see little dots connecting things but i'm like a 3 year old trying to connect them and failing miserably lol #wriothesley #arlecchino #genshin impact #genshin thoughts

[madamescarlette]

don't you love when you're like, okay now I'm going to leave this sorrow in the old year so I don't turn into a crotchety bitter person over it, and then you walk on feeling all refreshed and bright no longer carrying it on your shoulders, but then the sorrow wanders after you like a child who was lost in the supermarket weeping its eyes out and it says to you where did you GO I was lost! I was lost and I missed you!!! and you can only sigh and take it by its hand and say to it very well. here's your seat. I'm sorry I left you behind, I promise it was with the best of intentions, but I want to do my best by you, so let's sit together and try to figure out what you're saying to me.

#thinking out loud #i'm truly like. ok i'm mostly fine i'm a little bit going through it because it's harshest month of winter and it's always weird this month #but i just think it's so funny that i have to be like OH you don't suddenly stop....hurting over something because you decided to! #if you were missing someone who was important to you two months ago by golly you probably still will two months from then!! #weird how that be! anyway #it's funny to me because it's like the opposite of object impermanence #i used to think i was all heart no head and that there's a part of me that went hard in the opposite direction to counteract that #but i am still as much as heart as i ever was except now i have my logical side going yip yip girl we gotta go!!! let's go!!! #and the heart is like holding up a shakey hand going oh lads you go on without me...i just need to catch my breath for like....15 years #anyway anyway. the narrative is indeed kind but that doesn't mean that it doesn't sting sometimes #but! we can do the best that we can and take our troubles by their hands and learn what we can from them and it will all be okay in the end #(i hope this post isn't too complainy or miserable. i may take it down later but i feel the need to say it somewhere.) #regardless of that. happy Friday my friends I love you all dearly bless you for being near me <3 <3

[rubyscarbuncle]

I’m trans, and that’s so fucking awesome.

“Oughhh but I feel awful and I face constant discrimination” not to minimize that, but maybe that’s not where the story ends, maybe my life doesn’t have to be about the shitty parts, maybe my life doesn’t just have to be the hurdles I’m jumping over and the people that I’m stuck dealing with.

Maybe I can love that i am a part of something bigger, that I am a part of a group of people that would rather etch their true name on their tombstone than be someone they’re not. That I am someone who has deeply explored themselves as a person and is constantly changing and growing and loving myself in new ways and with a sincerity and exploration that no one else can in the same way. I’m constantly reinventing myself and enjoying the person, not only that I’m turning into but that I am right now, albeit with the challenges that come with it. And fuck anyone else.

I’ve been spending too long focusing on my anxieties and trying to “become” a girl or “pass” as a woman. Too long saying that I’m not enough as a girl until I pass or treating transness as this “condition” I’ve been straddled with that makes me worse off compared to a cis woman, but I’m me, and I’ll live and breathe and love life to my own tune, and I will die to that tune, and i don’t care who the fuck doesn’t jam to it because it’s not their life. I have been given this opportunity to love myself and claw a home into this body of mine by force if I have to, and that’s something I can always take pride in.

I’m trans, and that’s so so so fucking awesome

#trans #transgender #transgenderism #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lgbt #and no this is not to minimize trans struggles or to say that those anxieties and fears and discrimination aren’t hard #or that they don’t sometimes make me miserable #but that not just in spite of it but regardless of it I want to continue to love myself and who i am and who i will turn into is awesome #and that I have more than enough permission to just be me #my voice and my body don’t dictate my happiness #and I can choose to love these things about myself no matter how someone else feels about them #or no matter how much they will make passing harder #I don’t give a shit #because I’m me and I’m trans and transgenderism will always live on no matter how much it attempts to be squashed and that’s so awesome

[pearlpool]

MAN! AHH!

#its so crazy to realize that like #you actually do have a life you can go back to after removing yourself from a space that was actively making you miserable #i fucking love my friends so much. been talking to them a lot more lately #i feel like ive been neglecting them because ive been spending so much time lamenting the relationships that havent worked out for me #and just not even thinking about the ones that HAVE and actively DO #and its like. why do i hesitate to dive headfirst into the friendships that i already have and already feel secure in??? #i think part of me thinks i dont deserve relationships where i dont have to prove myself #but im realizing that i can draw a distinct line between friendships where i feel loved as i am vs ones where i have to earn approval #and the latter is not where i should be focusing my energy #idk! love my irls. rubyrainacharlie forever #feels like im coming back to who i was pre-all the horrible shit thats happened to me in the last year and a half #like even just after the last two days alone #diary

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[adanseydivorce]

remembering on my circa 2017 booklr I used to tell people to read Gemma Doyle by describing it as trc but with an all girls boarding school / all girl group in a historical setting… I was trying to do the lord’s work she deserved tumblr fame

#I do think that was an oversimplification of both but. Not totally off base there are some similar char tropes used I’m proud of past me for #the attempt. Also I think I’m going to start advocating for Diviners in that way now that trc fandom is apparently quite miserable post GW #you like gay people doing dream magic? you like witchcraft and ghosts and strong ensemble casts? #you like an ambitious abuse survivor getting a healing arc with learning to control magic/psychic abilities as a metaphor? you like four #book series where the first three books rock and the last book which is named king + corvid is a bit underwhelm who said that? #a positive point in diviners favor is Ling x Wei Mei >>>> RonanKavinsky. Generally find the take on dream magic in diviners more compelling #(although LingHenry + RonanHennessy both being mlm wlw duos who are the dreamers is kinda fun) #anyway. This is not actually a fair comparison because Ling is my fav or at least top two w Theta of the leads and I love Ronan but he is m #least favorite of the trc leads of which there are four all of whom I love so it says nothing bad about him. But it does put me as an #outlier re: fandom priorities.. #on the flip side while I love diviners dynamics sadly I don’t think they ever come anywhere close to Gangsey levels of extreme codependency #so I can not care quite as much…. #from what I remember the girls in Gemma Doyle are a lot more codependent good for them. Would have to reread to compare codependency levels #Ling and Theta are both my favorite in diviners in the same way Blue and Adam are my favorite in trc and Abed and Annie are both my fav for #community. basically one char who I love and overidentify with (Ling/Blue/Abed) and one char I love who in many ways I’m not like #but in a handful of very niche specific ways I also relate quite a bit. And am fascinated with (Theta/Adam/Annie) #s speaks #very off topic from my initial point which was you should read Libba Bray’s books #and in both cases I have a second and a half tier fav (Evie/Gansey/Britta) who I love fictionally but if I was trapped in a room w them I’d #kill myself. with the white blonde women I’d also want to make out w them debatable if that makes it better or worse #but like. I could not stand listening to them speak for that long I know this #Gansey might just die a third time by my hands…

[la-vie-est-pain]

cannot for the life of me find the post but kudos to the person who made that Drink With Me animatic. That hug was something I didn't know I needed.

#they- #they're so sweet #and i love them all so much #i am but a simple lesbian #with many feelings #and these bloody barricade boys have them all #the sincerest thanks to the creator of that video #you are amazing #les miserables #les mis #enjolras #grantaire #les amis de l'abc #enjoltaire #les amis