#i am not in my 30s lol

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what???? #like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!'' #yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like . #sexuality is fluid... #don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me. #(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

[fridayyy-13th]

i swear sometimes i think people forget that Jon's s1 skeptic act was just that—an act. it was an act!!! he believes the statements!! he's believed them since episode one! do we so soon forget that he denied the statements were real because he knew the Eye something wanted him to be scared, and he knew that was bad, so he decided to act like the statements just didn't scare him? remember, he was working with extremely limited information ("when i record the tape statements, i feel watched, like something knows i'm afraid, and i don't want it to know that"), and came up with a genuinely solid solution with what he had! not his fault that the thing watching him was a literal unknowable eldritch entity that feeds on fear, and he was just some underqualified archivist.

#sorry. saw a post and got a little angry about it #like bro! he literally tells martin in a fan-favorite conversation that it! was! an! act! #we KNOW he's believed in the supernatural since age eight! #i'm so tired of the ''lol haha jon didn't believe the OBVIOUSLY real statements but they still spooked him'' posts #i will not take this blorbo slander #leave my guy alone he tried his best. and was scared out of his mind while doing it #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #friday chats #it's like 1:30 am if this is moderately incoherent don't come at me

[spookberry]

parenthood is both harder and Weirder than expected im sure

#i guess I'm calling him Van #welcome to my new au i guess #gonna call it the Van Life au akdjbngj im kidding... or am i #im feeling a lil extra silly in the tags rn cuz its 2:30 am #danny phantom #agit spoilers #i guess but also not really lol #my art #fanart

[popcornkwantum]

:D I love Nicky so much

I'll be making these into (handmade) stickers and will be giving them out for FREE at both the upcoming Elfia event and at Heroes Dutch Comic Con (summer edition)

I actually don't think anyone from the Netherlands follows me on here but uuuhh if you do plan on going to one/both events, keep an eye out for someone in a badly made Taylor cosplay and you will be granted with one of these bad bois >:)

#the last (and first time) I did this it took me like 3 HOURS to make only 30 ish stickers lol #and it was at like 1 am at the night before the event #but this time I'm more prepared #and I just tested out a new way to make them which is SO MUCH MORE EFFICIENT #and IT. WORKS. TOO. #I'll also be remaking a few from last year #also; yes I did look into just ordering them online but I'm not going to spend 100+ euros on stickers that I'm going to give away for free #and investing into a printer and sticker paper and laminate stuff is a bit too expensive right now as well #so I'd rather make these by hand with all my blood sweat and tears and spend that money on the artist alley instead :D #dndads #here we go with all versions of spelling Nicky's name again #dndads nicky #nicky close #nicky foster #nicholas close #nicholas foster #nicky close foster #nick #trans nicky #trans #my favorite trans guy #dungeons and daddies #my art #elfia #HDCC #teen nicky #demon nicky #so mannyy tagss

[ducktracy]

Crayon Shin-chan: Great Adventure in Henderland (1996)

Directed by Mitsuru Hongo Written by Mitsuru Hongo and Keiichi Hara Storyboards by Mitsuru Hongo, Keiichi Hara and Masaaki Yuasa

#PLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND WATCH THIS MOVIE #it refuses to leave my mind #i think it's genuinely one of my favorite movies ever #and all of my Shin-chan expert friends say it's a very good starter Shin-chan/you don't need to go in knowing much of anything since the #dynamics are all made very clear in it #even gifs don't do it justice #it's so good #shin-chan #it is 12:30 am so ill probably reblog this again for visibility since it took too long to do this LOL #csc

[samarecharm]

tiny.

#persona 5 #oh my god. I will tag them all later. #i really regret not making the file bigger. but in my defense #i did not think i was going to color them AT ALL #so i gotta deal #so glad i finally got this done. i wanted some cheebs to use as a point of reference for my relationship chart #(romantic but MOSTLY platonic) #and at some point i was like. hey #i actually DONT have a color palette reference for most of them #so. here they are. lol. #really love how haru and ryuji came out heehee #its like. 8:30 for me as of typing this (and drafting it) #so im not doing the chart today. but i am just glad i got the hard part done <3 #akira #ryuji #ann #shiho #mishima #yusuke #futaba #makoto #haru #goro #i WOULD do the full name to get them in popular tags #but then id have to decide WHO was going in the first 5 tags. and thats too much work #and i dont rlly care to add character tags to something like this. its almost misleading LOL

[sisaloofafump]

Scars

Loosely inspired but the fic So you’ll know where I’ve been by @cacchieressa

#am I 100% happy with this? #no definitely not #but it’s 6:30 am and I like how Steph looks so I’m posting it anyway #definitely turn out may more shippy than I meant lol #which I’m not against per say but wasn’t my goal #anyway #I do quite like the fic this is based on #I contemplated also adding babs and her back surgery scar #but by that point I’d have to think about everyone’s surgeries #and I just #I just wanted to keep it simple #so #dc comics #my art #batman #stephanie brown #batgirl #spoiler #jason todd #red hood #jaysteph

[mooreaux]

Thinking about finally launching a patreon.

Thoughts under the cut

I'm thinking first tier would be art I don't necessarily post on Tumblr, or early posting.

Along w a monthly themed illustration w high res download available and a time lapse video.

Then second tier I might do a monthly poll to see what character (fandom w a few diff options) y'all would wanna see a short comic or spicy pic for?

And for third probably a monthly comm slot. Discounted from my usual comms but only like five of these available

Open to suggestions!

#my thoughts #as i get closer to pregnancy and baby stuff i am tryin to think of ways to sustain my income while working less #not gonna be able to keep doing 20-30 comms a month w a bebe around lol

[sigmashuffle]

THIS JUST IN... Chuuya's total dialogue/screetime ended up being roughly 40 whole seconds

#this includes anytime you can see and/or hear him #but not necessarily if he's in a scene but out of range from the camera view #the trailer literally gave us more than half of his visual appearances lol #i am struggling here HELP #chuuya nakahara #bsd spoilers #bungo stray dogs spoilers #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs spoilers #bsd s4 #bsd season 4 #bungou stray dogs #btw i didnt duplicate any scenes so the preview in last weeks episode wasnt counted #also i used my phone stopwatch for this hence 'roughly' it might be varied by one second or two #humun error 🤷‍♀️ i just wanted to see a ballpark #my guess was 30 seconds anyway so i wasnt too far off lol

[salemoleander]

Completely unrelated to anything Minecraft but I did finally make myself do some art today! This is my cat Baldur :D

#it is very flawed but i am happy i finally drew something! #and i love drawing my kitties. though perhaps i shouldve started w the cat that doesnt have 30 different colors on his face lol #Baldur is a very fancy boy #salem art #salem tag

[becauseplot]

anyway yeah fr i miss ordo theoritas. i miss the theory crafting i miss the hugeass meetings before/after Big Lore Event to brief/debrief everyone involved i miss the chaos and confusion and laughter and teamwork. i miss the cellbit, bad, and phil (key-keepers my beloveds) being the heads of the ordo working together to untangle the mysteries to the island. they were hardly ever on at the same time bc schedules and time zones (WAILS) but in my head they had so many late nights down in the evidence rooms like this

just. yeah. yeahh.

#qsmp #ordo theoritas #qsmp philza #qsmp cellbit #qsmp badboyhalo #i might have a fic idea but rn it’s just archivists bc they live in my head rent free #also im not too comfortable writing bad bc (1) i don’t watch him as much and (2) his lore is like?? so complicated?? #as an outside viewer its pretty intimidating lol #it’s the vibe of late night working w your friends on a project/lab/whatever slowly losing your minds tying to figure it out #it’s 2:30 am you’ve been talking in circles the theories are getting more out there but ya don’t rly care bc hey it’s Something #and then someone says smthn that’s just like Woah. wait Actually?? and it kicks you all back into gear to get you chugging along again #anyway i miss them i go sleepies now gnnnn #dont mind me im just rambling #god so much for me going to bed at a decent hour lmao

[redwinterroses]

Boatem, on any given day, was probably gonna be two things:

Obviously, the first was “chaotic.” That surprises no one, yeah? Raise your hand if you’re surprised that Boatem was chaotic. 

See? No hands. It's a thing that is known. You got your end crystals and tree wars and mountains going up over night and ravagers raining from the heavens… Boatem was the home-sweet-home of chaos. And it lived there very comfortably.

But the second trait that Boatem had, on every day that end in Y, wasn’t quite as obvious. 

It was "secretive."

Hah. Yeah, I see your quirked eyebrow of skepticism. Look buddy, I had a bird’s eye view of the whole thing and I can tell you this for sure: the only reason none of those morons got caught out in their big secrets was that they were all too busy being cartoonishly self-conscious to notice literally everyone else doing the same thing.

That thing being, specifically: pretending to be human.

Yeah. You heard me. Human. Pretending. As in: none of that lot are human in any way, shape, and only occasionally in form.

Take Mumbo for example. Dear old Mumbo Jumbo, my personal nemesis—and also the member of Boatem I got to see up close and personal the most.

Lucky me.

He somehow managed to hide it right under everyone else’s nose, which I can only chalk up to years of trusting friendship mixed with a hilarious lack of awareness. His shapeshifting abilities have never been more unstable than they were in Boatem—maybe it was the chaos bleeding through, or the way that world was a bit unstable even from the very beginning… Either way, he turned into a living potato right in front of all of them and they barely blinked. 

A potato.

Night after night I had to listen to him pacing around in his storage room, muttering to himself about how dangerous it was to be a shapeshifter living with a bunch of humans. How he was putting a lot at risk and what fibs he was going to tell to play it off as some sort of joke or prank. I started keeping a scratch tally of how many times he said “Oh dear. Oh dear."

I ran out of space about two weeks in.

But it’s not like any of his neighbors were going to notice anyway. “Living with a bunch of humans,” my big wishbone. 

Human. Hah. Right, like “human” Pearl—the alien who ducked her feathery antennae in her hair any time someone came around, who floated around her base like gravity was frickin' optional? Pearl, who nearly got caught with her antennae out every time someone ran past and jumped like a skittish rabbit enough to raise anyone’s suspicions… Except her clueless Boatem pals.

Or “human” Scar, who never even hides his vexy teeth when he grins, but somehow everyone acts like they don’t notice. Maybe he uses some sort of glamor on them—not like I’d know. Magic is ticklish territory for my type. All I know is that for someone who loudly proclaims to be human—a thing no human has ever actually had to do—he didn’t go to much effort to act like one. 

And then there’s that Impulse guy. I’m not sure what he is, but the one time he got close enough to peck he nearly roasted my tail feathers. Plus it seemed like all you had to do was say his name and he’d just… show up.

Downright creepy if you ask me. Not like no one ever does. Don't bother talkin' to the guy who has a view of everything for 18 chunks--no, just blame him for your dumb redstone door breaking.

Anyway. The one Mumbo seemed most desperate to hide his “secret” from was… that other one. I don’t even like to say his name, to be perfectly honest with you but I know you know who I’m talking about. The wing-appropriator. The merry prankster. The one who watches you with eyes so dark you never know where he’s looking. 

And people say I have beady black eyes.

I don’t even know why Mumbo bothered trying to hide it from Gr… from him. Or why he was trying to hide what he was from the rest of them. Or how they never noticed the extra pairs of wings that would sometimes flutter about, or how he always saw when people were trying to prank him—even if it looked like he was asleep. 

But I’ll admit it was hilarious watching them dance around each other like a couple of hens avoiding a creeper—except both of them were hens and they each thought the other was a creeper. 

Somehow—somehow—none of them ever noticed the others. Who needs camouflage when you've got friends this oblivious? Anyway, come on—we all know none of them would actually care if they revealed their precious secrets.

I kinda hope they never do, though. Five best friends, none of whom are human, all convinced that they're the only alien-vex-demon-shapeshifter-thing-nonhuman in the bunch?

That's a joke even this bird-brain can appreciate.

#it's 2:30 why am I posting this at such an ungodly hour #hermitcraft #boatem #hermitcraft s8 #redwinterwrites #the narrator is that chicken that plagued Mumbo's mountain #if you hadn't already realized lol #just feeling some boatem things tonight #and saw a story prompt that went #“Four roommates are extraterrestrials who... believes the other three are normal humans” #and I got inspired XD #also I just watched like 3 hours of RatsSMP and Oli's voice is in my head #so this chicken has the voice of Oli Oriansound and if you read it with his garbage rat voice it's even funnier lol #boatem village my beloved

[qiekzart]

drew the guys who take up 30% of my thoughts

[plz reblog]

#(not intended to be ship art but idm if u tag it as such lol) #art #my art #plz reblog #yugioh #ygo #eyestrain #yu gi oh #yugioh dm #yugioh duel monsters #ygo dm #yugioh bakura #bakura ryou #yami bakura #ryou bakura #bakura #hi if ur seeing this . this took 4 hours and 30 minutes straight and i think i died midway . to be honest. #worth it to draw the skrunkly goobers. the blorbos. #anyway goodnight #actually its 11 am . but still

[shimamitsu]

it sucks that if stl doesn't get a s2 many anime onlys won't get to experience the shift from (even though engaging and emotional) light hearted slice of life to like... in depth character study that makes you wanna climb walls. if that makes sense

#ofc sukirofa has been a character driven story since the start and ofc we still get chapters like the early ones here and there #but i think the overall vibe definitely changed after the cultural festival arc #and ESPECIALLY after chapter 46 #or is that just my impression bc i've been in the trenches for too long #no i think that now even chapters that are pretty chill hit harder than the early ones lol #arcs like the cultural festival or even makoto's date which came later are like. just a preview of takamatsu's abilities as a storyteller #anyway it's funny that i still see people calling it a romcom. to me it's been a drama for the last 30 chapters. a thriller even #joking #or am i #i need every person who watched the anime and still hasn't read the manga to get into it nowwww #like a lot of people still don't know warm picnic!!!!!!!!! i need to change that.

[drinkinggblood]

clear all your sins; Get born again

#womp womp #uhhmh i spent abt 30 mins on this so ignore the bad doodles LOL #i was just listening to alice in chains and went. yk yeah why not im bored #this is abt my cringey red dead oc but nobody but me knows what this means #im silly ! #ignore how edgy it is sorry i am #red dead #red dead redemption 2 #red dead 2 #red dead redemption oc #red dead online #red dead online oc #rdo #red dead oc #more cliff art; i didnt put a Ton of effort into this bc it was just a 30 min quick doodle :] #tldr cliff was shot in the head (survived) but kinda altered his life forever. because.. it kinda would yk LOL #// eyestrain #tw eyestrain #tw// eyestrain

[emypony]

twitter won't get this but i know y'all will

the felis erasure in regards to the concept arts is criminal how dare you

#fu hua #pardofelis #hi3 #honkai impact #concept art #IF I SPEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG. #fuki this fuki that #ohh kiana skin has cat ears don't they match?? #SHUT UP AHHH!!!! like ok yeag i get it #felis was the first kitty and hua's partner back in the moths era the straight up friendship erasure hurts my soul #lowkey personal cause omgggg i been GOIN thru shit lol #just let me have this one please #my dumb fuckin ass is crying at 6:30 AM over bad tasting toast and these 2 not getting the smidge of recognition they deserve #its whatever i know they are holding hands i know the truth #manifesting either another felis suit OR. #them taking this concept for hua and transferring it to Senti one way or another. kitty / wolf senti idk... #sentifelis will be real one way or another smh #the tags with 'fuki' in it better not show up in the main tag or ill bite someone cause this aint shade on them #but feel free to throw twitter under the bus for it however